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eggcompany · 9 months ago

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Sherlock feels Shitty

Sherlock gets sick and John cares for him. Sherlock feels 'unsettled' and asks John to hold him. Cute cuddling ensues.Short and sweet

Sherlock was sick. Sicker than hell. He felt terrible and looked worse. Good thing he lived with a doctor.

Said doctor was currently doing laundry because everything smelled of sweet sickness. He found Sherlock in his room a few hours ago. Curled up under all his blankets, sweaty and pale. John had given him meds for the fever and a bottle of water.

“Sherlock, do you need anything? You should probably get a shower and get all that sweat off your skin. You could develop a rash and I mean it smells… awful in here. I’ll fix your bed while you wash up.” John said when he returned to check on the detective. Sherlock just groaned and pulled his blanket tighter around his head, hiding his face. John sighed. Sherlock is the worst patient.

John walked around and squatted down, his knees protesting, so he was face to face with Sherlock. His nose was the only thing visible from his blanket wrap.

“I swear to god I will put you in that goddamned tub wrapped in your blanket. Get up and shower and let me clean this room. You smell worse than usual.” John said in his ‘ Real Shit Sherlock, I’ll kill.’ voice. Sherlock shivered but not from the fever. He unwrapped his head and gave John puppy eyes.

“Up, come on. Stinky man, go shower. Think about what you want to eat while you’re in there!” John calls after Sherlock as he trudged to the bathroom wearing only a pair of briefs and a plain t-shirt that used to be john’s but is now stretched to hell.

John quickly stripped the bed and sprayed sanitizer on the bare mattress. He got a plain cotton sheet set and threw it onto the bed and covered the pillows in the nice new cases. John smiled and got a bottle of some good smelling spray that Mrs. Hudson cleans with and doused the room in it.

“Johnnnnnn” He sighs as he heard Sherlock calling out for him. John walks to where Sherlock’s soaking wet head is poked through the bathroom door. His hair hung into his face. John thought he looked like a hosed cat.

“What do you need, Sherlock? Did we run out of water?” John asked and leaned against the wall. Sherlock sneezed and then hiccuped. Sherlock groaned and looked up at John, so defeated.

“I don’t have a towel and I didn’t grab any clothes. Will you- Could you grab me some underwear and a hoodie? I’m getting cold. And a towel! Please…” Sherlock said and hiccuped again which caused him to cough. John felt pity for the younger man. Sherlock never gets sick…

John dug through Sherlock’s drawers till he found a pair of soft grey underwear and he found a plain navy blue hoodie in his closet. John went down and got a towel out of the clean laundry he had already folded but hadn’t put away yet. John made his way back to the bathroom and knocked.

“Johnnnn, I feel like trash. I’m cold and my body hurts so much and I feel like I’m melting.” Sherlock said through the door. John opened the door to reveal Sherlock sitting in the tub with the shower running. Sherlock was pouting as the water washed down his face. The room was filled with a thick steam that John thought felt rather nice.

“Sherlock, I brought you what you wanted. How about we get you dried off and dressed and right back to bed. I know you don’t feel good. You’ve just got a bit of a cold. I’ll come sit with you in your room if you’d like, we can go through emails. Now up and dressed.” John said and put the clothes on the sink and handed the soggy man the towel. Sherlock had turned off the shower but was still sitting in the tub. John walked out and he heard Sherlock groan as he stood up.

John dragged his chair in from the living room into Sherlock’s room and placed it beside Sherlock’s bed. He brought his laptop in and made a plate of biscuits and got a few water bottles to set beside the bed.

Soon Sherlock walked in and flopped down face first into the bed.

“Sherlock get under the covers. Why didn’t you dry your hair? Do you want to stay sick? Let me go get a towel. Eat these, drink this.” John said and watched Sherlock cocoon himself into his blankets and nibble on some of the cookies. John put a bottle on the bed too before he left to get a towel.

When he returned Sherlock was sitting up in the bed with his blanket still pulled over his head. John put his knee on the bed and pulled the blanket off Sherlock’s head.

“Do you want to brush it?” John said in a light quiet voice. Sherlock shook his head. John wiped the water from Sherlock’s pale skin around his neck and then around his ears. Finally John threw the towel over Sherlock’s head and rubbed and scrunched at the dark hair until the towel was wet and the hair was dry. Sherlock had closed his eyes and relaxed some. John threw the towel over near the hamper. John settled back and sat in his chair.

“Go back to sleep. You need to rest. All you can do is rest and try to soothe your throat. I’ll make you some new hot tea if you’d like.” John said and watched Sherlock pout and whine.

“Why’re you whining right now?” John asked and Sherlock looked at him and poked his bottom lip out.

“I feel unsettled. Everything’s wrong and I feel hot and cold and I’m overwhelmed.” Sherlock said and sniffed his nose. He looked so… well not Sherlock-y. Not confident and solid. He looked rather flustered and mushy.

“What can I do to help?” John asked and looked at Sherlock. Sherlock just thought for a moment while looking at his hands. John just waited. Sometimes you had to be patient with Sherlock, John learned a long time ago.

“You like me.” Sherlock said and didn’t look at John. John shook his head. ‘ You like me’ usually meant ‘ I’m going to ask for something normal friends wouldn’t ask for ’.

“What do you want?” John said in a caring tone. Sherlock sniffed his nose again and picked at his blanket for a moment.

“Will you be okay with um… holding me? ” Sherlock said. The last few words were mumbled so John didn’t quite understand.

“Sherlock, I didn’t hear you. Can you say it again?” John said and Sherlock blushed and looked to the side.

“Will you hold me, please? It’s fine if you don’t want to because it’s not something yo-” Sherlock very quickly and rambled on. John laughed and sat down on the side of the bed and pulled the covers away.

“I didn’t take you as a cuddler. Teddy bear are you?” John said and laid back against the pillow and headboard.

Sherlock blushed but quickly scooted so he was laying against John’s chest. Sherlock tried not to move and stay still as he laid stiffly against John’s arm and torso.

“Sherlock, you’re intolerable sometimes.” John said and pulled and pushed at the sick man until he was laying across John’s lap with his head laying against where John’s heart was. John put his arms around him and Sherlock didn’t breathe for a moment.

“Is this okay?” Sherlock whispered and felt like he was melting. John was so warm, so so warm. And strong and solid under him but he had some softness around his midsection and he smelled-

“Go to sleep.” John said and pulled the blanket back up over them. Sherlock was tense for a moment but then John started to rub Sherlock’s upper arm slowly.

John couldn’t help but fall asleep too. Sherlock’s weight felt nice against his chest and it was nice and cozy. John slept like the dead for almost two hours before a coughing fit woke him up.

John opened his eyes as he was shaken away by the coughing man who was pressed against his chest still. Though Sherlock was laying a different way now. Sherlock had put his legs on each side of John’s and his chin on John’s shoulder. Sherlock had his arms wrapped around John, under the short man’s own.

John instantly started to rub up and down Sherlock’s back. Sherlock hacked and wheezed for a few minutes before it stopped. He tried to catch his breath. John just rubbed his back and pulled the blanket back up to their shoulders.

“It’s alright. It’s okay. Just breathe, Sherlock, breathe in nice and deep and let it out. It’s alright.” John said in a low loving voice. John felt so bad for poor Sherlock. The younger man was really just skin and bones. Coughing must take so much out of him.

“I feel shitty…” Sherlock said and laid his face back onto John’s shoulder. John sighed and leaned over so his head was leaning on Sherlock’s.

“I know. I know you do. Well get you fixed up soon enough. Do you want to get up and get you-” John offered but Sherlock squeezed him and interrupted him.

“Stay. I don’t want anything. Just wanna sleep, please.” Sherlock said and closed his eyes. He really was still so tired…

John nodded. He kind of liked being here, holding Sherlock.

“Okay. Let’s just go back to sleep.” John was soon right back to sleep, this time with his arms wrapped around the detective.

Maybe taking care of Sherlock wouldn’t be too bad...

#fanfic #egg_company #bbc sherlock #sherlock x john #johnlock #john watson #johnlock fanfiction #johnlock fluff

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leonawriter · 6 months ago

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Genesis Rhapsodos

First impression

Man I met Genesis SO long ago now. Uh. I wasn't impressed. I don't think I liked him. Funny, huh?

Impression now

Stinky man, wet cat bastard. Birdbrain. Love him to pieces because he's a piece of shit [affectionate] and he has SO much room to change. Now. If they'd just. Bring him back.

Yeah though I think I once said that if you play through Crisis Core you get to see what working for Shinra was like as one of their dogsbodies. Because that's what Zack WAS. A glorified dogsbody - Zack the Puppy.

But if you look at the story from Genesis' point of view, you see a man who realises that he'd been working for the company that destroyed his life and made him and his two friends into monsters before they were even born, and because of circumstances entirely outside his control, he's going to die a slow and painful death. Now he can either accept that death and die quietly, or go out with a bang and take everyone else with him, Shinra most of all.

Genesis is the revolutionary who kickstarts so much of the plot. Second only to the founders of Avalanche/whatever resistance there was in Wutai. We only don't see him that way because of forced perspective, and the fact that he's imperfect and he was a desperate man who wanted to survive.

Favorite moment

I don't know if I like "trips Zack with his foot" or "Gets rejected by his goddess by way of the Stern Look of Disappointment and is only given more life to Reflect on his Wrongdoings while being made into a Weapon" more.

Idea for a story

If anyone looks at my FFVII posts from a few years ago or my AO3, they'll see a lot of Genesis fics. But, hm... I'd say for a new one? Probably something that has him appear during the Remake/Rebirth timeline.

My old main fic To Change A Sombre Morrow ironically had him time travel into the past, and I used to have a lot of fun imagining him dimension hopping, so... anything like that, too XD

Unpopular opinion

I'm not really aware what the popular/unpopular opinions are right now? Hm. I used to have some ideas about his family - that he didn't intend to kill his adoptive parents in the first place (he has a hair-trigger temper so he probably went ballistic and regretted it really quickly), and/or that he and Angeal were effectively basically like half-brothers through Gillian. The second because I've always been a bit confused by how all that worked, but also... If they were able to resolve things peacefully, it would have been sweet.

Favorite relationship

Mostly because of a bunch of fics I read, Cloud. Although considering that I hc Cloud as aroace I never shipped it, exactly (even when I tried). What I took from them was that I liked the way they bonded over being the only ones who could remember the way SOLDIER, Zack, and Sephiroth once were. Like PTSD buddies who sometimes make each other better and sometimes make each other worse.

Favorite headcanon

This dude is autistic. So very autistic. Special interests galore. I think I saw a few other things over the years that fitted but yeah. Entire autism right there. Probably ADHD to boot. Does he know? No. Does he care? Not as long as it doesn't get in the way of him finding his (true) meaning of LOVELESS.

Even that aside, just... that he gets so used to the idea of his wing as an extra limb that he uses it as such without thinking. So Cloud, who is used to Sephiroth being Very Dramatic with his, is just twitchy and freaked out when Genesis uses it to do things as awe-inspiring as... sulk on the roof.

#ffvii stuff #genesis rhapsodos #dumbass cat of a man

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thatgoblin · 3 years ago

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Ask meme: Carlos!!!! ^^

Headcannons of me and my Himbo Husband F/O

He's hot. No, literally. The man is a furnace and while it's wonderful in the winter, in the summer it's awful because I'm always hot and he wants cuddles bit I feel like I have a human sun attached to me. Upside is my feet always get cold so making him sit on them is always a win. Unless we're in bed and he doesn't expect then he whines.

No less then 5 times a day do we say 'What the fuck are you doing?' To each other. 5 times each that is. Either I'm being a weird goblin and talking to myself or trying to fight something OR he's trying to do a haka like dance for the cats who are entranced yet also terrified.

I thought I had a lot of hair. The man almost had me beat. We have to clean the drain once a month or it gets backed up. But oh my gods his hair is so soft. Even if he hasn't washed it in a few days.

Don't tell him to not do something. The jerk will do it. But then again I'm the same way. 'Do not add habanero to the chili! It has chilies in it already! I don't have an iron tongue like you!' 'But flavor, babe!' 'I am not dealing with an upset stomach later for the sake of your "flavor", Carlos.'

He loves to give affection in weird ways. Like whispering in my ear that he just took a big shit in the bathroom so give it a few minutes or he'll have worked on the yard all day and will come in to rub his stinky body on me. 'I gotta do it or the werewolves will sense you!' 'What werewolves!? What are you talking about, Carlos!?' 'The ones from Seattle. If they small an alpha on you then they'll leave you alone!' 'I'm gonna hose you, stahp!'

I do it right back to him though. Mostly with gentle nibbles. Kinda gentle. Gentle like. Okay sometimes I just straight up bite him where I can. There's also the times I do a 'mating ritual' which usually begins with me flapping a jacket I have on or a robe and making bird noises before proceeding to chase him and scream 'LET ME LOVE YOU!'

We both refer to the cats as our children. He's a proud papa of 3 cats who love him, well 2 who love him and one who tolerates him becausr Carlos feeds her. TBF Patty barely tolerates me.

Carlos sleeps like the dead. I'm pretty sure that I've tried to wake him a time or two when there was a definite need for him to be awake but he was just out. Short of throwing water on him, he was not getting. Yes, I poured water on him from one of the many water bottles we have.

He has become the neighbors nemesis. I tried to stop him, but when I found out why, I helped him. It was over some stupid bushes they didn't like in our yard so we planted more. They complained more, we hadded more. Now we have so many hydrangeas and I don't know how to care for them. Send help.

Carlos is absolutely amazing with his hands. The man can crack my body like a glow stick and I'll ask for more every time. He gives the best massages. I swear he should have been a masseuse. He doesn't like it when I try to give him one, something about 'I am not dough!' IDK.

Usually people don't care for feet, but Carlos doesn't mind it. I give him pedicures a lot because otherwise his feet would be EXTRA rough and I will not do that to my sheets.

For as much attention ad he may crave, he's pretty good about letting us have our own things. It's nice having that alone time but parallel play is good too.

The man can cook. He likes to as well and will hijack my dinners if I'm not careful. *points to habaneros in the chili*

While he will start out the big spoon, I always end up being his backpack because I wrap around him like an octopus when we sleep.

Also, he would sleep in nothing if I let him. Fear of having to quickly leave while grabbing the cats is real so he has to wear at least underwear. He whines but does it.

We'll leave the spicy details for later. ;)

#resident evil fanfiction #resident evil #fanfiction #Carlos oliveira #carlos oliveira x reader

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peppers-writing · 4 years ago

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Robot Vampire

CatShifter!Jaskier and poor Advice Columnist/Witcher Geralt

Tags: nudity but in a casual oh yeah i’m naked oh well let’s cuddle, fluff, humor

Written for flashfic whoo; thank you to @resident-beekeeper, @astaticworld, @king-finnigan, and @the-third-bard for helping me out w/ this one.

On A03 here.

“Stop it.”

The ball of fur writhes furiously by his hand.

“Jaskier, I said stop.” Geralt wonders how life keeps throwing him the slimiest, most rotten of bones.

“Ow! Fuck, no biting!” Jaskier snaps his jaw and turns away to curl in on himself. Geralt goes back to typing. The article’s due by the weekend and it sadly will not write itself. When he’d signed up to be a journalist, Geralt’d figured they’d just have him writing the monster and or pet forum. Easy work.

Sadly, he’d been hired as an advice columnist, an agony aunt. Even sadder, Jaskier refuses to turn back into his human form today.

He’s distracted by a soft paw rubbing against the back of his hand. Pitiful, pitiful eyes look up at him, ears flattened and oh no. Geralt takes a deep breath and steels himself. “No, I already gave you all of my salami.”

Jaskier gives him the dirtiest look with his startling blue eyes and Geralt makes a note to check his shoes for surprises before he puts them on. He shifts on the bed, sitting with his legs criss-crossed underneath him.

His flatmate... Geralt should’ve known. The rent was too cheap and the ad was only looking for nonhumans. Geralt should have known, but Lambert had done a background check and he hadn’t said. It’s no excuse; Geralt should’ve known that there was something up with the shit-eating grin on Lambert’s face when he’d given him the go ahead.

The ginger cat burrows under his wrist, tail flicking idly as he reads what Geralt’s got on his screen. Jaskier adores Geralt’s job, the dirty drama he gets on a daily basis soothes his flea-ridden soul.

This week’s question is an especially wonderful one.

Dearest White Wolf,

My partner is a doppler. I, of course, have no problem with this— I love them with my entire being, I could wax poetic on their beauty, inner and out. But dating a doppler does come with its issues. Namely, I keep forgetting their latest face. Now, it’s a spooky thing waking up to a face you don’t know. I thought I was giving them a kiss good morning, but when I opened my eyes, it was a face I’d never seen and I yelped before promptly falling off the bed.

Now, my partner won’t stop laughing at me for it. They take one look at me before bending over in laughter. They’re beautiful when they laugh, I love them incredibly, but I would like to cuddle them without having them shake in barely-contained laughter behind me. Just for one night.

Please advise, Wolf. I await your answer.

Yours,

Touch-Starved

Jaskier yowls from beside him, clicking his teeth at the screen where Geralt has one awful sentence written.

Dear Touch-Starved,

I am sorry to hear that.

Thank you,

White Wolf

The cat chitters at his reply, no doubt adding embellishments and cooing over the nature of Touch-Starved’s relationship but it’s in Cat and Geralt, luckily, does not speak it.

“Will you shut up if I give you scritches?” Jaskier yowls before tilting his chin up. His tiny head presses into Geralt’s giant hand as he pets his flatmate. He continues to type with his left hand with his friend successfully distracted.

Dear Touch-Starved,

I am sorry to hear that. Take a picture of their face

Thank you,

White Wolf

His hand is very suddenly attacked by a blur of orange and claw.

Dear Touch-Starved,

I am sorry to hear that. Take a picture of their faceakdfhadsf

Thank you,

White Wolf

Geralt is a monster hunter by profession (the writing’s a side job, to pay the rent and the like) so he does not yelp. When Jaskier will inevitably make fun of him later, he will deny it because he is a monster hunter by profession and Jaskier’s accusations are untrue because he did not yelp.

He picks Jaskier gently, cupping his legs and furry ass as he brings him to face level. “You’re a bastard,” he tells him, voice even, “Please let me work, bastard man.” Jaskier, impossibly, rolls his eyes and hops out of his hands and onto his head. He makes a nest of it and settles down comfortably. Geralt rolls his own eyes and turns back to his work, praying for a text from Vesemir. Where was a kikimora-that-wants-to-eat-you when he needed one?

The document stares at him.

Dear Touch-Starved,

I am sorry to hear that. Take a picture of their face. Set it onto the lock-screen of your phone.

Thank you,

White Wolf

He stares back. Jaskier’s tail brushes against his ear. It’s good enough, time to move onto the next one. It’s a miracle they pay him for this shit; something about his straightforward, gruff answers keep his readers entertained.

Jaskier meows from his perch, before hopping down onto his lap. “What, am I not giving you enough attention?” He scratches behind his friend’s ear and rubs his hand down his back and up his tail. “I don’t know why I put up with you, stinky bastard man. You're an awful, stinky bastard man, I don't know why I do.” The shapeshifter yowls and pounces on him; Geralt very suddenly finds himself flat on the bed with a naked Jaskier on his chest, scowling down at him.

“I do not smell!”

Geralt throws his head back and stares at the ceiling, contemplating his life briefly. He looks up again at his friend, his brown hair mused and his blue eyes annoyed. “You’re awful, get off of me.”

“Not until you admit I don’t smell! I may be a small furred animal at times, Geralt,” he pokes a finger into Geralt’s breastbone none too gently, “but I do not smell.”

Geralt groans, long-suffering. “You’re right. You don’t, now get off of me.” Jaskier looks at him a moment longer.

“No, I don’t think I will.” His eyes shine. He lays down, resting his cheek against Geralt’s chest, and settles in. “It's quite warm here.” Geralt could push him off if he wanted to. He considers it briefly and doesn't.

“You’d be warmer if you put clothes on.” Jaskier peers up at him, brows scrunched before his face smoothes out as if just now realizing the feeling of his air-chilled iron nips press against Geralt's chest. He contemplates, shrugs, and settles in again.

Geralt flutters his eyelids in annoyance even if he doesn’t mean it much, and pulls his duvet over to cover his friend. He closes his laptop with his big toe and wraps his arms around his friend’s waist.

Jaskier makes a happy noise and snuggles into the warmth.

The doppler issue can wait until tonight. Geralt shifts and settles in for an afternoon nap with his dumb shifter friend.

#geraskier #jaskier #geralt #the witcher #the witcher fic #My writing

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slashersins-abandoned · 4 years ago

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the ones who would smoke

michael myers . big surprise here . big boy likes to get high . however , he prefers editables . if you want to smoke , that’s fine , he won’t take a hit . pass him a brownie . also , be prepared , this man gets lazy and hungry and very touchy . he’s a fucking cuddle monster when he’s high . kind of like a needy kitten who wants pets in the middle of the night and will lay across your face , only to jump off and eat food as loud as they can before coming back for more loving . michael is exactly like that . also , if you want high sex , you’re gonna have to take charge and ride him , he’s just gonna enjoy his high and pleasure while you do the work .

vincent sinclair . it’s one of his favorite ways of relaxing . he’s done it since he was a teen . bo discovered booze , he discovered weed . he’s no less intense when he’s high , still staring at you , still touching you , only his movements are slowed and less delicate . he wants you close , in his lap , against his side . he’ll play metal music in the back ground , letting smoke swirl around the both of you . expect a lot of smoky kisses and long gazes from your man . he’s high as fuck and you’re the only thing important to him right now . a living breathing work of art .

carrie white . carrie ? our sweet girl ? doing the weed ? it’s more likely than you think ! while she might take some convincing , her deep need to rebel against her mother brought on by the courage you give her has this good girl shyly taking a hit . she will cough . give her water and praise and tell her it’s all okay . it happens , you can take it slow . and please do . let the high slowly seep into her skin and lungs and let her feel light and relaxed . she’ll want to cuddle , and you should stroke her hair and just talk . you’ll smoke and talk for hours , never getting so high that you’re both far gone , but getting high enough that everything is slow and hazy . you might even get some shy kisses from your sweet girl , and she’ll giggle and hide in your chest , feeling free for once .

the ones who would rather drink

bo sinclair . everyone knew he’d be on this list . the man drinks so much he should have a beer gut and how he doesn’t is beyond everyone . whether it’s a beer after a days work , a couple after a rough day , or an entire pack after a bitch ass week , this man usually has at least one a day . he likes the buzz he feels . he likes how in some ways he can forget about shit . but mostly he just wants to get fucked up and sleep . while he can be a bastard when sober , he can be one when drunk too , running his mouth . but he also tends to get a little more emotionally open when drunk , so you might end up hearing him say things he will pretend not to remember in the morning .

lester sinclair . another beer drinker in the sinclair home , only he’s a lot more casual about it . he’s like a social drinker , only having two or three . he’s a goofy drunk , stumbling around and laughing and chattering on . vincent and bo find it hard to be upset after a rough week if they have lester over to get drunk . it’s also funny to them that their baby brother is such a light weight . he gets really embarrassed when he does get drunk enough that he’s making a little bit of a fool of himself , but he’s so cute that vincent and bo can only tease him .

thomas hewitt . while this big country boy wouldn’t mind a ice cold beer , he doesn’t drink all that much . maybe once a month or so , sometimes once every two . and he rarely if ever gets drunk . he’s seen charlie / hoyt drunk too many times , and had too many run ins with drunk as fuck bastards when the slaughterhouse was still open . he doesn’t want to be like that , so he keeps himself to no more than two beers at one time . he doesn’t mind the taste of beer , and it really is more of a social “you earned this” type of deal for him .

the ones who would do both

jesse cromeans . this man drinks only the most expensive , oldest scotch , whisky , bourbon , and wine . he drinks casually , he drinks socially . but he does not drink to get drunk . no . he tries his best not to actually . which is surprising to most , as he was considered a bit of a play boy party boy back in his earlier rich boy days . but while he doesn’t get wasted on booze , he does enjoy getting high as fuck . he’ll only do it in the comfort of his own home . relaxing and smoking and watching old videos of his . might jerk off a little , might snuggle up to you . might pull you into his lap and laugh with you as you both watch stupid videos on the internet . one time you laughed at a picture of a blurry paper bag for two hours . jesse won’t leave the house until his high has completely worn off . he doesn’t wanna be caught off his guard .

billy loomis . he’s a bad boy . what can i say ? he’ll drink , he’ll smoke . as long as it’s with you and stu and he’s having fun ? who cares . billy is a messy drunk , getting naked and wanting to bite and kiss over you and stu , even if it doesn’t lead to anything else . it’s just too hot for clothes and he wants his babes close . he’s a munchie having , giggle gremlin when he’s high , however . while its more snickers than giggles he will almost laugh at anything , wanting to be the one cuddled and coddled while he eats chips and shakes with laughter .

stu macher . loud and handsy drunk , however if he drinks too much he gets a bit violent towards others . which is why you and billy know when to cut him off . when he’s just normal drunk , he’s wanting to touch and talk and talk and talk . he won’t know he’s being too loud , just spilling out words and nonsense for fun as he lays across whoever is closer . as a high boy , he’s almost completely quiet . he’ll just lay and stare and watch with his mouth open in awe . sometimes he’ll start giggling but then he’s back to dead eye staring . he’s also gonna be cuddling things that he thinks are you and billy but aren’t . like a pillow . or his cat .

the ones who would never do either

brahms heelshire . this man will only drink sparkling grape juice . he doesn’t have the pallet for booze and he doesn’t like the smell of weed . he has no issue with you drinking , as long as it’s fancy whine , chardonnay , etc . you have to be classy , like mummy and daddy were , if you drink . he might take a sip , but he’ll prefer his juice , thank you .

jason voorhees . he’s highly against all things booze and drug related . he literally kills people who show up on his land , he makes double work of them if they do either of those things . he’s a good boy , momma raised him right . if you do either , he’s conflicted and a bit upset . you’re his special person , you’re good , why are you doing bad things ? if you explain to him that it’s just a small glass with a meal during like , thanksgiving or christmas , he might relent . and if you tell him the weed is for pain and it’s legitimate , he will be less inclined to be upset with you . but still , he doesn’t like it .

bubba sawyer . bubba doesn’t like the way booze and beer make people act . he doesn’t wanna act like that . he got drunk once , and he hated it . it’s the same with weed . he has a strong sense of smell and his little nose hates the way weed smells . which is why he babbles at chop top to call him stinky . if you drink , he might be a bit skittish , thinking you’ll try and hurt him like so many others have . it’ll take a little bit of patience to calm him down , and tell him you’d never . he would like it if you didn’t drink , but if it’s only a little and you aren’t being mean he’s okay . as for the weed , he might pout because now you smell like chop top , but the way you giggle and act is cute . so he doesn’t hate it as much .

jacob goodnight . no . just no . hard no . no drugs . no booze . not you . not him . he just can’t . years of religious abuse have ingrained some roots that are too deep to pull out . and for jacob both of those things are a no .

martin ( 1977 ) . martin doesn’t do either . he already feels off as it is when he hasn’t fed recently . and he has no need for drugs or alcohol . why would he ? besides , he doesn’t want to make any mistakes while intoxicated or high . it’s just that simple . he’ll say no politely if offered . if you drink or smoke he might make a mild complaint about how you don’t need those things , about how it makes you taste off and he likes it when you taste like you . the only drugs you should have inside of you are the ones martin gives you to sleep .

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slashersins · 4 years ago

Note

You've made a few posts about getting stoned with Michael in the past,, how do you think it'd be with some of the other slashers?? And like, which ones do you think would be into it and other ones that maybe aren't sure about it but would try it if they knew you liked it? and which ones would not smoke or take anything EVER? I'm just very curious to hear your take on this !! I mean... don't think you've made any previous posts about this?

okay so , lets break this down into categories ! they’re pretty well spread out , so here we go !

the ones who would smoke

the ones who would rather drink

the ones who would do both

the ones who would never do either

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patchdotexe · 4 years ago

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explorers of arvus: heading back / 3.11.21

zoom and enhonse

LAST TIME ON ARVUS taure passed out and we are now down a healer! also we met a disciple of halvkar, and surprisingly did not murder her. this is fine. we have instantly gotten distracted by our various carts. cats. our various cats

DID ANY OF US CATCH TAURE, SHE FELL OVER sieron tried to catch her and smacked charlie+thorne in the face (he rolled a nat1, f) BUT the catboy is to the rescue bc silje is the designated Not Incompetent of the group today

CONSULT THE CHILD hewwo yrel yrel: her mind is being consumed by the serpent of nightmares. :D charlie: HELLO?????//

so, dendar(?) the night serpent is imprisoned beneath arvus! she was formed from the nightmares of the first sentient being, and sometimes she eats people's nightmares. if she's exceptionally hungry, she'll force nightmares onto people for her to feed off their fear. yrel thinks taure will Probably wake up. there's a thing on arvus mentioned by the locals called a "sleeping sickness" where people will fall asleep for a few days, sometimes longer, but will wake up. its magical in cause, the people afflicted by it have horrific nightmares, and its just kinda. a thing. wowza

(i have gone back to spelling yrel's name as yrel bc i think it looks nice)

OH HEY SOMEONE POSTED A THEORY ON ONE OF MY STICKMOLUS ANIMATIONS man i should get back to stickmolus sometime. once dsmp releases its awful grip on me.

i keep getting distracted by seeing myself in the camera preview. i have a tooth gap! what the fuck its cute?? K I KNOW WE'RE SUPER BLURRY IN FRONT RN BUT PLEASE HELP ME STAY FOCUSED I SWEAR -leo

we're gonna build a sled! to put taure on. thorne: i have a good strength score. ....i say, out loud charlie: i am four feet tall. [cue argument between thorne & sieron about them both being horcs but sieron has a +0 bc strength is his dump stat] OH, OKAY, THORNE ROLLED A NAT20 TO CARRY TAURE. NICE

[discussion about what to tell everyone at camp vengenace] thorne: the last thing we need to do is a witch hunt charlie: --and we already hunted the witch! the witch has been hunted.

time to discuss strategy! we need to figure out how to head back to camp vengeance, eg if we want to follow the path we already took or if we wanna do some trailblazing. looks like we're gonna try and take the most direct path! which means we'll prolly risk tangoing with some undead but im willing to risk it TINY HUT STAIRCASE sorry i just remember it now and then

nyx: [meowing at his cats] thorne: uh... why is silje meowing? jorb: silje's food bowl is empty jorb: you look at silje's food bowl and there's a divot in the middle and the food is all on the sides emotionally, we must bully the catboy silje saw something interesting and started meowing

thorne: ill take first watch silje: ill also take first watch. charlie: [quietly] gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy (but, like, extended for 15 seconds)

silje: [takes watch] [rolls a nat1 and gets distracted by looking at his crush]

THORNE HAS LOCATED A DOG the dog does not give a shit about the tiny hut. THE DOG HAS PEED ON THE TINY HUT goodbye dog

EVERYONE IS ROLLING AT LEAST 1 NAT1 thorne: wow! that sure is a dog. thorne has drawn the worst possible dog. thorne has erased the worst possible dog. we dont speak of the worst possible dog its the dog version of honse. DONSE

sieron is now on watch! MAN we are havin trouble rolling today. at least kali's here to make sure sieron doesnt stare at a rock for 50000 years sieron sees a mouse! bottom text

charlie is now on watch! kali is havin a big ol thonk. nothing meaningful has come of this

i am perceiving some deer. sieron is not perceiving some deer. silje is perceiving some deer, but better the deer are fucked up and undead! silje has gone from "we should hunt these deer for food" to "we should hunt these deer for sport"

charlie: i do not feel like being jumped by five thousand skeletons

charlie takes first watch with sieron! WHY ARE OUR ROLLS SO TERRIBLE taure is super cursed right now. that's not very pog charlie: this place sucks. thorne: to be fair, we havent-- charlie: YOU'RE ASLEEP, SHUT UP

oh hey coolname galvanic finally partied. nice.

thorne is at watch! solar: hey, is leomund's tiny hut an orb? there's a critter digging around! AH, THE CRITTER IS UNDEAD. this could be a problem

solar: hey michael, how much does the horrific sin against god dog i drew look like this creature michael: [dice roll noises] about 50%.

michael: if anyone likes, they can make a nature check-- solar: ME MEMEMEMEME ME ME ME

its a bulette! aka a land shark. problem: they are not normally undead. this one is undead.

jorb: imagine if you could tame one of those and use it as a mount. leo: IT WOULD JUST DIG UNDERGROUND AND LEAVE YOU THERE

we are just calling it a weird dog

we're going to mail a letter to the heart of arvus. HEY, CHECK OUT THIS WEIRD DOG,

JORB FOUND ART OF A BABY BULETTE. WEIRD PUPPY!

solar: hey guys, check out this sick art of a bulette i found

silje kept a lookout for the weird dog but its just fucked off. goodbye, weird dog give it up for day 3!

man there's been like, three incinerations today in blaseball. what's up with that. I SWEAR IM MOSTLY PAYING ATTENTION its just been an eventful day in blaseball. also im wearing my garages bomber rn. jaylen is home wooOOOO the wind smells stinky. this is fine.

we're actively avoiding whatever combat michael keeps nudging at us bc we're carrying around an unconscious person and i SWEAR hes gonna throw something directly at us once he's done with our shenanigans

UHH MICHAEL ASKING FOR PASSIVE PERCEPTION LOL

huh. this place used to be inhabited? we're in the woods rn but there's some like, stone ruins? like, VERY ruins. like, not really any structures standing, but enough evidence to show there Were things. WE FOUND A STATUE charlie: i want to smash my face against the lore.

used to be a circle of standing stones, but most of em fell over or got overgrown. inside of the circle has been cleared, although v roughly-- ground's torn up statue is of fjolnir! warrior holding up a spear and shield. AH, THERE ARE CORPSES, a human got REAL fucked up here. one of the corpses is straight up impaled on fjolnir's spear. n ... not pog.

i am trying so, so hard to pay attention. but i also kinda wanna take a nap.

charlie: [stares at statue] [rolls a 4] i wonder if he had a dick.

okay so something rolled in, tore up the overgrowth inside the circle, and murdered a couple dudes. and was also super tall and human-adjacent. hrm.

oh my god why are we rolling so shit today. time to stealth away and hope we dont get casually dismembered

k: jorb's hair is so long... leo: K, PLEASE,

time for a break! i am very tired but im gonan see if i can push through a little further. nyx is petting his cat why do orangatangs look like that

first watch is thorne and sieron! have they even, like, talked thorne unhabby ): thorne's worried we were tresspassing when checking out the statue, meanwhile im thinking about that one time when sieron got bit by a groundhog

(oh my god this is from late 2018)

leomund's tiny hut, aka the anti-sea bear circle we are getting SO much mileage out of the tiny hut. SILJE HUMS A SONG WITH KALI cute........... FINALLY I HAVE ROLLED ABOVE A 14 wait no i rolled a 16 twice. anyway we are not dead

nearly at camp vengenace! boy howdy i hope camp vengeance didnt get burned down. AH FUCK TAURE IS UNCONSCIOUS SO WE CANT CAST FOR DETECT POISON kaepora nearly made us all shit ourselves but its okay he just saw some bison and thought it was cool Michael Is Consulting Several Tables

WHY DOES JORB'S CAMERA ZOOM LIKE THAT why am i hungry. i have so many questions

HEY, TALL GUY [smacks sieron]

camp vengeance looks better! like, nobody's Obviously Sick anymore, the medical tents arent overfilled, we did it! we saved the dayyyyyy time to report to ryder! taure's getting dropped off at the medical tent

man remember when charlie didnt wear pants

oh man, with taure unconscious charlie is now taking point with social interaction. wild. jk im making jorb do it bc im tired HAHA NAT 20 PERSUASION BC OF ME HELPIN SIERON man ryder is such a cock. he was totally ready to keep throwing troops at heaven's brazier to die until we managed to persuade him out of it. jorb: did we tell ryder about the vision? michael: you kinda just took a look at him and went STINKY BOY!

okay yeah anything that dies on arvus will just pop back up as undead. man, arvus sucks.

ryder: alright, dismissed. charlie: seeya, soldier boy! :D hahahahaha im gonna eat his knees.

SILJE NEEDS ENRICHMENT IN HIS ENCLOSURE

charlie: ive decided he sucks. silje: we've already arrived to that, you're late!

LMAO WE WALKED IN ON INGRID AND HER CRUSH they fuckin. nice. you go, you funky lesbian

jorb: we've got the tiny hut, we could go anywhere leo: we could go to SPACE! nyx: we could not go to space. leo: WITH A TINY HUT STAIRCASE, WE CAN,

we are 320 miles away from the spaceship that exists on arvus. nice.

michael: justin sees you-- roll a strength saving throw. leo: i cant wait to die! [rolls a 3] I AM CRUSHED BY MY DOG michael: he rolled a nat20.

BOSS ENCOUNTER: CHARLIE'S DOG (the small circle next to him is one of the medical tents.)

THORNE IS PACT OF THE GUN solar: PARRY THIS, YOU FUCKING CASUAL

sieron, to ingrid: seems like youve been doing well charlie: i punch sieron. sieron: sieron: the camp, of course.

man we have no idea if the heart of arvus is actually related to the prophecy or not. theres a Lot of stuff lining up, but not enough, and its hard to say how much of it couldve been literal?

solar & michael: [discussing exposition] me: [cracking up bc penn sent me a funny dsmp joke]

prophecies are weird.

charlie is just s she is just sitting here SILJE PLAYED CARDS REALLY GOOD AT ME nyx rolled a nat20 and took all my money

oh cool we can talk to yrel telepathically! time to hoist yrel. THIS IS SO SCUFFED thorne mentioned yrel and now we're trying to explain to ingrid that we have a magic talking snake charlie: I WANT TO GO HOME. thorne: we cant go, we have a GOD-KING to kill! "i think theyre insane, theyre talking to a snake" "ingrid, druids exist" "oh. im gonna go back to getting railed by my 7 foot tall girlfriend"

#leo chirps #ttrpg #explorers of arvus #OKAY WE'RE CAUGHT UP NOW sorry abt that lmao

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metaphorical-love-for-a-car · 5 years ago

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An Unexpected Reunion-- Malcolm Bright x Reader

oRequest; “the reader is an FBI agent who met Malcom in Quantico but they lost contact cause she went to do undercover work and now shes put in New York on. A case and they just catch up and be happy cause malcom needs happy” (anon)

Warnings; specified fem! reader, language, bits of violence, terrible writing

Word Count; 2.1k

Notes; I rewrote this like 5 times so I hope y’all like it lol

Trainees were separated into groups for various training sessions throughout the day, and a group was never the same. Everyone was rotated around. Your group for the day happened to do incredibly well in the training exercises. “Best so far,” you were told. They decided to reward the group by allowing all of you to have a paintball fight, writing it off as combat practice. Everyone darted to various corners of Hogan’s Alley. You hid behind a dumpster and readied yourself for the battle to begin. A thud from the inside caused your brows to furrow. Since the Alley was a mock town, you knew that there wasn’t any trash inside that would attract any critters. Nevertheless, you decided to check it out. You cracked open the lid, only for something to latch around your arm. “What the fuck, Bright?” He shushed you.

“Come on, this is the best hiding spot here! Anyone comes around, and you can easily take them out without being spotted. Just... just hurry up and hop in before you blow our cover.” You stared at him, blinking slowly. Was he serious? Malcolm’s eyes widened, causing him to look slightly frantic as he motioned you inside. Alright, he was completely serious. You clamored into the dumpster and hoped that no one heard the lid slam shut. Malcolm clicked on his flashlight. He raised a brow and grave you a sly grin. He started to speak, but you interrupted him.

“If you’re about to make this sexual, I swear to God I will shoot you in the crotch right now.” Malcolm grimaced, looking highly offended.

“What? No! I was about to ask if you had heard about how Johnson from the second group pissed his pants in the hostage simulation today,” he rapidly explained. Then he froze for a moment, giving you a doubtful look. “You wouldn’t shoot me this close range. You’re not that cruel.” You held up your gun.

“Wanna bet?” Malcom narrowed his eyes at you. He was challenging your capabilities. What was once a game of hide-and-go-seek turned into a game of cat-and-mouse. Either way, you weren’t losing. You leaned back and pulled the trigger. The paintball hit its target with a loud twap! Malcolm shouted a string of profanities as he curled into fetal position. You clasped a hand over your mouth to keep from laughing. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry.”

“Bitch...” he groaned.

“You practically told me to!”

Fond memories of your old life were what got you through your secret life. Being assigned to go undercover for months on end was no easy feat. There were plenty of times you wanted to call it quits, but you couldn’t. So, you’d think of moments that made you happy. You were beyond relieved when you were able to return home. It was as if you could finally breathe again. You wanted nothing more than to sleep for at least two weeks straight, but, of course, you weren’t allowed such luxuries.

You had awakened too early for your liking but decided to spend the time catching up on all the shows you missed while undercover. You had just sat down with a cup of coffee when someone started banging on your door. You sighed, taking a long sip of your coffee and hoping that they would go away. Luck wasn’t on your side, as the person continued to try to punch your door down. You groaned and shuffled over towards the door. It revealed a woman with curly hair. She gave you a small grin and held up a badge. You squinted at it in an attempt to determine its authenticity. “Hi, I’m Dani Powell with the NYPD. Are you Ms. (Y/L/N)?” You eyed her for a moment before finally deciding that she was telling the truth about her identity. You slowly nodded, slightly confused as to why she was there. “Mind if I talk to you for a few minutes?” she asked, putting her badge away.

“Yeah... what’s... I’m sorry what’s going on?”

“Your neighbor was murdered last night.”

Your body tensed. Was she serious? Could a murder have seriously taken place right under your nose? You turned on your heel and hurried further into your apartment. Dani looked confused, hesitantly stepping inside. You fumbled through a drawer before returning with a badge of your own. “I’m with the FBI. Could I see the crime scene please?” Dani raised a brow at you.

“Let’s go talk to my superior first.” You nodded and slipped on a pair of shoes. Following Dani down the hall, she approached a man leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. “Where’s Gil?” The man furrowed his brows at the sight of you. Okay, so maybe you could have at least brushed your hair before you walked out. You probably looked like a hot mess.

“Inside. Who’s your friend?”

“Special Agent (Y/F/N). FBI. I live down the hall,” you answered. The man seemed surprised, causing Dani to roll her eyes.

“Oh shit, really? I’m TJ.” He started to say something else, but Dani interrupted him.

“She wanted to see the scene, but I was gonna let her talk to Gil first.” You pursed your lips. Surely, it wasn’t the same person you were thinking of. There was a slight commotion from inside the crime scene before two men emerged into the hall. One was waving his hands widely, while the other looked done with his shit.

“Okay, so we’re looking for-” Your jaw dropped. Malcolm? Here, of all places? The world is quite a small place. “Cookie?” TJ and Dani’s faces wrinkled.

“Stinky!” Malcolm laughed at the familiar nickname as you threw your arms around him in an embrace. Gil smiled at the two of you.

“What am I, chopped liver?” You scoffed before giving him a hug too. TJ and Dani shared a look of confusion, which wasn’t lost under Malcolm’s gaze.

“Team, this is Cookie. Cookie, this is the team.”

“I’m sorry-- but Cookie?” TJ asked, almost astonished at hearing Malcolm call someone by their pet name. The profiler nodded. A smirk crossed his lips.

“We’ve been friends since Quantico. During training, (Y/N) snuck out of her room to steal some treats. Everyone’s called her that since.” You rolled your eyes at the mention of your nickname.

“And you’re... Stinky?” Dani asked with a laugh. You beamed at the opportunity to share your favorite memory from training.

“At some point during your time at the academy, a handful of trainees are dropped off at random points in the Prince William Forrest Park to test your survival skills. We somehow managed to bump into each other while wandering around and decided to team up. Two heads are better than one, right? So, we were trying to figure out a shelter situation when Stinky discovered a foxhole type thing. I warned him not to go in, but-” Malcolm interrupted you.

“I’m pretty sure you said, ‘We can’t go in there because your head’s too big. You’d get stuck and die before we even get a chance to go on a real mission.’”

“Shut up, Stinky, I’m telling a story. Anyways, the bastard decided to go in. Lo and behold! There was a family of skunks living inside, and he just barged right on in. The dude stunk. Bad. No one would go near him for about a week. So, the name Stinky was born.”

After telling the group a few more stories about Malcolm and learning a bit more about the case, you went back to your apartment to change into some actual clothes. They still required you to go down to the station and make a statement. Malcolm offered you a ride, which you gladly accepted. You hadn’t seen him since before he got fired.

As the two of you got in his car, you couldn’t help but notice how awful he looked. His hands were shaking, and he had heavy bags under his eyes. “You’re staring,” Malcolm joked, but, this time, the smile didn’t quite meet his eyes. You shook your head.

“Yeah, it’s cause you look like shit, Malcolm.” He turned his attention back to starting the car. He knew that you were being serious when you used his actual name. You watched his inner turmoil, no doubt debating whether he could confide in you. Turning your gaze away, you didn’t want him to feel like a bug under a microscope. “How long has it been this bad?”

“It’s been bad for a while now, but it’s gotten worse over the past few weeks.” His voice was small, and it made your heart ache. Shaking your head, you got out of the car. Malcolm’s brows furrowed. You poked your head back inside.

“Well? Are you just gonna sit there like a fly on the wall, or are you going to tag along with me?” Without a moment’s hesitation, Malcolm switched the car off and appeared by your side. You linked your arm with his, tugging him along. “Don’t ask questions, just follow my lead.”

You led him to a rather posh boutique not too far from your apartment building. Malcolm seemed a bit concerned as to what you had in store for him, and you couldn’t help but laugh. The older woman working there seemed a bit disapproving as the two of you walked in, giggling over some old inside joke. “Okay, seriously, why are we here?” Malcolm finally asked. You grabbed his wrist and looked at his watch.

“You have five minutes to put the most ridiculous outfit together. Loser has to buy lunch. Go!”

You scurried away, hoping that he would let loose and have some fun. Luckily for you, Malcolm wasn’t the one to back away form a challenge. Five minutes passed faster than you would have liked, but you thought you did pretty good. You were wearing large sunglasses, a tiara, and a jacket almost entirely made of rhinestones. You turned around and nearly fell to the ground with laughter. You hadn’t expected Malcolm to take the challenge that seriously. He was wearing sunglasses similar to your own, a feather boa, a shiny necklace, and he was even holding a single earring to one of his earlobes. What got you the most was his ridiculous hat, something you would only expect to see at the Kentucky Derby. His smile widened at your reaction. “Looks like you’ll be the one buying lunch.”

“I lost?”

“Obviously,” Malcolm scoffed.

“Oh, but did I really?” You quickly pulled out your phone, snapping a couple pictures. “I can’t wait to show these to Gil. He’s gonna die.” Malcolm’s jaw dropped. He put his earring down and held a hand out to you.

“Gimme.”

“What? Hell no, Stinky. You’re gonna have to pry this thing out of my cold, dead hands.” His eyes narrowed, and you immediately regretted your statement. Malcolm lunged at you, causing you to shriek and dash away. He cornered you near some clothing racks. His arms wrapped around you as he attempted to wrangle your phone from your hands. The two of you were too busy laughing and fighting each other to realize that you were inching closer and closer to the racks. As you struggled to get out of his grasp, Malcolm had the bright idea to suddenly let go, sending you tumbling forward. You landed on a clothing rack, taking the whole thing down with you. Malcolm roared with laughter and had to lean on his knees for support. “Fuck you!” you called out. He held out a hand, helping you to your feet. “You’re a jackass.”

“Oh, come on, you know you love m-” He was interrupted by the older woman clearing her throat. Her arms were crossed, and she was tapping one foot.

“I think it’s best if you two leave. Now.” You both apologized profusely and even offered to help clean up, but she shooed you out of the store, after taking back their clothes of course. You gave Malcolm a hard time, blaming him for getting you both banned from the store. After the two of you fell into a steady silence, walking side by side, you prompted him with a question.

“What were you saying earlier? I know I love what?” Malcolm laughed, almost nervously.

“I was going to say that you know you love me.” You pursed your lips and hummed.

“Maybe that’s why I’ve put up with you all these years, Stinky.”

“You’re not a ray of sunshine either, Cookie.”

“At least I don’t smell like skunk ass.”

“That was five years ago!”

~*~*~

Prodigal Son Tag List;

@ourfracturedomens

Permanent Tag List;

@blitchen

@blitchen-fics

#prodigal son #prodigal son fox #prodigal son fic #prodigal son x reader #malcolm bright #malcolm bright x reader #malcolm bright imagine #malcolm whitly #malcolm whitly x reader #tom payne #tom payne x reader #tom payne imagine #request

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jadekitty777 · 5 years ago

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The Miraculous Tales of Luckybug and Qrow Noir

Anyone ready for an onslaught of fics from me for the next week? Because that’s what’s happening my friends.

(I apologize that my blog will also be running on super speed for the next week as I reblog stuff. I also apologize in advance that I won’t have time to read many, if any, fics. My own still need to be edited and finalized. Aaah lil’ stressed honestly).

Day 1: Flirting

Rating: K+

Pairing: Qrow/Clover

Word Count: 5600

Ao3 Link: The Miraculous Tales of Luckybug and Qrow Noir

Summary: In the daytime, he was Clover Ebi. Just a normal college student, with a normal life. But there's something about him no one knows yet. Because he has a secret. A miraculous secret.

(AKA: The Miraculous Ladybug AU no one asked for)

“Voici, À Bientôt!”

“Merci beaucoup. Bonne journée!” Clover replied, taking the box from the smiling cashier.

As he stepped out of the bakery into the busy streets of Paris, he gave a sigh of relief. Though he’d been living in France for the past two months now for his Spring Abroad program, he couldn’t help but feel a little anxious every time he had to converse with the locale. His accent wasn’t the best and some words he just couldn’t remember the right inflection for.

Then again, as he got to Green Belt Park and took a seat on one of the empty benches, leaning back to enjoy the stunning view of the Eiffel Tower in the distance, he figured being in such a beautiful city was a good excuse to remain speechless.

He set his bookbag down beside him, opening the flap, and then the top of the box, revealing two small slices of cake. “Okay Ruby, you can come out. It’s safe.”

In a flash quicker than lightning, a red streak zipped from his bag and into the box. A moment later, the kwami looked up at him with starry silver eyes and asked, “You got me two?”

He tapped her on the head, right between her antennae. “The strawberry is for you. The other is…”

“For Qrow, right?” As she looked up at him, he decided that the paragon of heroism should not have such a shit-eating grin.

“It’s not-!” He knew his face was getting hot. “We have to work on the sociology project this evening so I thought he’d appreciate it.”

Not fooled for a second, Ruby said between bites of cake, “You should just tell him.”

“I don’t think I should be taking love advice from an immortal being that transcends time.” He craned his head back, watching the thin clouds above drift along the sky. “Besides, it’s not that easy. Qrow is, he’s just so-” He pictured the other man, all dark hair, captivating red eyes, and shy, personal smiles wrapped around a gruff voice that belayed layers of emotion. Clover sighed longingly, “Wonderful.”

Even without eyebrows, Ruby rose one. “Ah-huh. I can see how you’re having trouble.”

He cracked up. It was nice to have her sensible perspective around. He had to wonder how different his life would have been if he never picked up that little black box with the note ‘You’ve been chosen’ left underneath it.

Having come into his life around the same time Qrow had, she’d been privy to a behind-the-scenes look to how his relationship with the other man shifted from strangers to close friends. She was the only one who heard his secret thoughts as that bond grew into intense feelings.

“I really mean it though. It’s always best to be honest with your heart.” The kwami told him.

“I know you’re right. But is it what’s right for Qrow?” At her head tilt, he explained, “He’s got a crush of his own, remember? The one he’s so vague about?”

“Maybe he’s so vague because it’s you?”

He snorted. “Only if he knows I’m Luckybug. He’s got blue eyes, remember?” That was one of the only things he’d been able to pull out of him, besides the gender. Which, after a simple process of elimination, meant it was either Qrow’s best friend Taiyang or James, the leading RA in their dorms back home. Well, or rich and prissy Jacques, but he knew Qrow had better standards than that.

“He could be colorblind to green?” Ruby offered hopefully.

He gave her another pat on the head. “I don’t think it works that way, but thanks for trying to make me feel better.”

She made a soft noise, before floating up from her bed of crumbs to sit on his shoulder instead. “He hasn’t mentioned this person the entire trip though, right?”

Clover started in surprise. She was right, he hadn’t – which was a huge change from the near weekly aside he’d give about whatever his ‘prince charming’ was up to. “You think it’s fading away?”

“I’m not sure.” She said, looking towards the city’s prized monument. “But I think it might mean this trip could be an opportunity to tell him how you feel. What better place to do that then the city of love?”

He mulled that over. When he found out his university offered abroad studies during junior year, he had been so excited. He’d always wanted to travel, but the prospect of going alone was also nerve-wracking. Qrow, facing much the same enthusiasm and inhibitions, had struck a deal that they would go together. That also meant they had been spending an exorbitant amount of time together, living together in the shared home with a few other students. Shared a room, even.

How many nights had they spent together, just talking about nothing and everything? Mapping out plans over train and bus schedules to fit in as many big sights as they could on their free weekends of tourism? Walked along the Seine at night, the city lights reflecting off the water, where Clover would inadvertently get lost staring at how gorgeous Qrow looked in the casting glow?

Maybe… he could…

“Clover, the sky!”

The sudden alarm in Ruby’s voice had his head jerking upwards. To his horror, the space above the tower was turning black with red lightning streaking across. The telltale sign of Omen at work. But she couldn’t be here!

But sure enough, from the depths of the portal, a large, winged Grimm appeared. It looked like a giant raven, with terribly sharp claws and razor-tipped feathers.

His kwami looked to him, determined. “We need to transform.”

He nodded and grabbed his phone, sending a quick message to Qrow, before stuffing it and the bakery box in his bag. After a cursory glance around, he ducked into the shadow of a tree trunk. “Alright Ruby, charm on!”

The clover-shaped brooch on his chest glowed and Ruby collided with it, and in an instant, he felt his civilian clothes disappear, replaced by a skin-tight, red and polka-dot suit and a mask that covered his eyes. His hair lengthened, his normal, spiked quiff falling into a messier comb over, some of the bangs tickling against his forehead. As the magic of the transition faded, he plucked the yo-yo off his belt and went racing across the park, throwing it at a rooftop, feeling the end latch onto a chimney. With a pull, it retracted and he went flying through the air, landing at the top in one smooth motion. He paused only long enough to leave his bag behind before he went racing along the rooftops towards the emergency.

“I don’t understand. How is Omen here?” Clover asked to no one, feeling panic begin to rise. Did something happen to the team back home? The thought made him sick.

Maria had been very strict about how many miraculous he could put on the field in his absence, not wanting to have another fall into the wrong hands like the Pegasus miraculous had. So, he – or more specifically Luckybug – left Yang the Dragon with Tai and Sun the Monkey with Elm, giving both specific instructions to protect San Francisco in his absence. He’d only called for their assistance a few times before when things got really hectic, so he was hoping Noir would be able to balance the less experienced miraculous users out.

But to think Omen may have defeated all three? That was too awful to imagine.

He looked up at where the bird was circling the tower, dread settling into a hard knot in his gut.

How was he going to do this alone?

“Your stinky fish, madame.” Qrow presented the sardines with a flourish.

Blake lit up immediately, diving for the can and fishing one out for herself.

He left the rest of the can on the desk in easy reaching distance, before setting back into his chair where a very blank word document was staring back at him. He gave an agitated huff. He’d been hoping to at least come up with a few research topics for their paper before Clover got back from his lecture in International Affairs. Which was, Qrow mentally reminded with a fond eyeroll, not a required course for the program they were a part of. But Clover just couldn’t help himself, saying it might come in handy for his GPA score as he signed himself up for the class.

Tch, overachiever.

The distinct feeling of being watched sent a shudder down his spine, and he gave the spirit beside him a look.

The cat kwami stared back, unblinking.

“Blake you’re freaking me out again.”

Her ears twitched and she went to fetch another sardine. “I was just waiting for you to get that dreamy look on your face again.”

He flushed. “D-Dreamy?”

“Mmhmm. It kind of looks like,” She gave an exaggerated sigh, placing a paw against her cheek and fluttering her non-existent lashes.

“I never look like that.” He deadpanned.

“Whatever you say.”

“I don’t! And, anyways, what’s it to you?”

She didn’t reply, taking the time to munch into her fish instead.

He sighed, focusing back on his laptop, switching over to the internet to check on the feed from back home. No new reports of any attacks on any of the news blogs. It was like their enemy had decided to take a vacation at the same time he had.

When Qrow had first became Noir, Maria had told him to be very careful with what information he gave, even to other miraculous holders. He intended to vaguely tell Luckybug he would be out. So, it had really been a stroke of luck when Luckybug announced first on their last mission together that a family emergency was going to keep him out of commission for a while – but that he’d left Tatsu and Timber in the wings in case he needed help. So, he never shared his own intentions. Instead, he placed Kali in charge of Weiss the Bee until he returned, knowing that the power team Lucky had left behind would need a more versatile and calculating fighter in their midst.

(The role he normally filled, he thought with a sense of pride).

He’d been checking on things back at the home front regularly, knowing it only took minutes before social media was trending any new crisis, but it had been unusually quiet. He was sure Lucky was doing the same, wherever he was.

His heart clenched up, thinking about him. They’d been fighting the good fight together for over a year now, and it hadn’t taken much for Qrow to become smitten with the mysterious, masked hero. He’d thought he was everything he ever wanted; strong, daring, ambitious, with a dazzling smile and a baritone voice that was to die for. He was certain their time apart would be torturous.

Yet, it hadn’t been.

They said distance made the heart grow fonder, but it was more like his heart had forgotten. He couldn’t pinpoint when it was exactly that he’d become so preoccupied by Clover. How he’d grown to appreciate his gentle gestures and thoughtful words, his hearty chuckles and sincere expressions. It was as if stepping out of the war woke him from a stupor and gave him a chance to see things he’d missed, even when they were right in front of him.

Qrow sighed, placing his chin in his hand.

“This is my favorite part.”

“Huh?” He looked down at Blake, recognizing that mischievous gleam in her yellow eyes.

“The best story I get to witness is when one of my hosts falls in love.”

“I-I’m not falling in love!” He said immediately. “I have a crush.”

“Really.” It was her turn to deadpan.

He shoved himself away from his desk, offense all over his tone as he echoed, “Yes, really. You know how I feel about Lucky.”

He paced the length of the room, coming to stand by the window, staring down at the busy streets below. A moment later, he felt her weight on his shoulder, almost nonexistent, but there.

Her whisker tickled his neck as she turned her head towards him. “What do you know about Luckybug, really?”

Qrow leaned his arm along the glass, meeting his own reflection’s eyes. “I know he’s smart and funny and he’s always willing to put everything on the line to do what’s right.”

“But what do you know of him specifically? What’s his favorite color? What’s his family like? Does he like anchovies on his pizza?”

He snorted at the last one. “He’s my romantic interest, not yours.” His smile slipped away. “I know what you’re getting at. Unless we reveal who we are to each other, this can’t go any further.” He sighed, shoulders slumping. “I know that. But it still feels wrong, somehow. Are… my feelings that fickle?”

“Not fickle.” She levitated, hovering by his face. “They just had no room to grow. These things have to be nurtured, but if there’s nothing there to care for it, they’re only bound to wither away.”

That had been way too scripted. He gave a laugh. “That’s it, I’m not downloading anymore trashy romance novels on my phone for you to read.”

Her ears flattened. “If you make me sit through your boring lectures, I’ll break the sprinkler above your head.”

“Alright, I fold.” He held up his hands in surrender. Though he was almost positive it was an empty threat, he didn’t want to tempt fate with the kwami of destruction.

She softened. “Anyways, I think with-” She abruptly cut herself off, suddenly darting against the window. “What’s that?!”

He jerked around, spotting where the sky was darkening on the horizon, turning a deep, inky black. He’d seen it so many times before, the magic was unmistakable.

“You don’t think…” Blake trailed off.

“Omen.” Qrow finished, features smoothing into one of rigid resolve. He turned to the kwami, her expression matching his own.

He lifted his hand, the jeweled ring glinting back at her. “Blake, luck off.”

Clover landed in the courtyard, shouting as he ran. “Everyone, clear out!” He desperately tried to remember whatever French he could. “Fuir! S’il vous plaît!”

“Chanceux!” One of the locals cried, desperately trying to find their phone.

“Non, fuir!” He repeated.

A screech from above made him cover his ears, looking up to see the giant bird climbing down the Eiffel Tower, the vertical walk down unnerving somehow. He backed up as the bird landed on concrete, its impressive height daunting him. His fingers clenched around his weapon, backing up as the bird lowered its head. Its beak was big enough to swallow him whole if it wanted.

It seemed that, at least, was enough to make the people around him finally start to flee.

“Well, well, well. What have we here?”

The voice had him looking higher, spotting the speaker mounted on the beast’s back like a queen in her bed of feathers. Omen walked forward until she stood on the bird’s crown, lowering her sunglasses just enough to reveal crimson red eyes as she stared over the tops of the rims at him.

“What are you doing here?” Clover asked, pulling the yo-yo’s line out as a warning.

She only smiled patronizingly, as if he were no more a threat than a child. “That’s none of your concern.” She pushed her glasses back up, flipping her raven-haired braid over her shoulder. It fell like a horse’s tail along her back, between the wings the Pegasus miraculous granted her.

He felt bad for the imprisoned kwami being forced to do her bidding.

“Tell me, where’s your cohort?” Omen asked, giving a cursory glance around as if Noir would just pop into existence.

“I think I’m more than enough for you.” He instantly realized that had been the wrong thing to say as she laughed.

“You’re alone.” Fuck. “Well, that makes this even easier.” She gestured to the bird she stood on. “But as I’m a fair opponent, I’ll give you a choice. You can hand over your miraculous now, or you can resist and my little Nevermore can have a bit of fun first before I take it.”

As answer, he only started to rotate the yo-yo at his side, the device whooshing audibly as it swung in fast, heavy arcs.

Omen’s dark wings stretched open. “The fun way it is.”

She shot up into the air – but he didn’t have time to worry about her as the Nevermore immediately struck forward, beak opening to snap him in half. He jumped backwards, throwing his weapon out with a yell. It nailed the bird right in its head, the creature giving a sharp cry before it shook it off and straightened up. It opened its wings, the span of them covering a third of the courtyard, and gave a few hard flaps.

It was like being blasted by hurricane winds. Clover yelped as he was thrown off his feet and went tumbling across the concrete. The Nevermore, able to make up the distance in one bound, was on him in an instant. The wind whooshed right out of his lungs as a taloned foot came down on top of him, pinning him to the ground. He grunted, bracing his right arm between him and the appendage trying to crush him while sticking his left arm between its toes.

The bird jerked its head down for another strike, the razor-pointed beak filling his vision like a guillotine.

He swung his left hand upward, the yo-yo flying high and it was by pure luck he got it right in the eye.

The Nevermore gave a pained cry, hopping back. Suddenly, Clover could breathe properly again. He jumped to his feet, slightly lightheaded, throwing his line out again in hopes of tying the creature up and bringing it down.

Instead, with exact precision, the bird caught the end of the yo-yo in its beak, pulling it taut, and then threw its body around, bringing what was on the end of the line with it. Before Clover could process it, his body was yanked forward and he went flying through the air. Everything around him blurred into a mesh of greens, blues, browns and whites, blending together into a sickening cacophony.

He braced himself for the impact.

It was softer, and warmer, then he expected.

“Not having a great day are you, lucky charm?”

He gathered his bearings, realizing who had caught him and jerked his head up in surprise. “Noir?!”

Noir grinned back roguishly, winking one green eye at him. “You know, if you wanted to fall into my arms, you just had to ask.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Clover pushed a hand against his face, rolling out of his grasp to stand on his own. He retracted his yo-yo and studied his surroundings, taking note that he’d been tossed so far, they were underneath the Eiffel Tower. “What are you doing here?”

His teammate didn’t get a chance to answer, the bird giving another of those deafening screeches as it tried to shove itself between the legs of the tower. They both jerked away, before twisting around and running the other way.

“Could ask you the same thing!” Noir shouted over the noise. “Where’s Omen?”

“Lost track of her.” Which meant she was playing her normal A-game: Exhaust them by making them fight her pet so that it would be child’s play to steal their miraculous. Their goal was to defeat it – because if he could purify the contaminated feather within the creature, it would act like a direct attack against Omen, usually enough to weaken her into fleeing.

“Alright let’s – Watch it!”

Both of them jumped back when the corvid was suddenly in the path of their escape route, its gigantic foot missing them by inches when it was thrust under the tower, claws raking over the ground.

That was no good. Clover looked around, before pointing towards the ceiling of beams above them. “Up.”

Noir gave a nod, reaching out to grasp him around his waist and taking out his quarterstaff. He tapped it to the ground, and within seconds it shot them upwards as it extended. When it was high enough, they leapt onto the first section of metalwork, protected in the shell of crisscrossing steel. Noir compacted the weapon back into baton length, turning to him, “Alright, now what?”

“Now we just-” He started to say, raising his yo-yo, when the whole tower rattled as the Nevermore clamped onto the side they were hiding in. It gave a few wild cries, slamming its beak between the spaces as it tried to get to them.

Noir watched it warily before he called, “We’re safe for now, do it!”

Not wasting a moment, Clover threw his weapon up in the air with a cry, “Lucky charm!” The end of the yo-yo began to glow with the magic of creation, until it held the brilliance of a star. Then, with a pop, an item materialized, falling back down into his waiting hands.

It was a fishing rod.

Noir gave it, and then him, a dull look.

Clover was grinning. “Well, looks like-”

“Don’t-!”

“I’m giving fly fishing a whole new meaning.”

His partner groaned audibly. “You are worse than Tatsu.”

“No one is worse than Tatsu.” He joked. Tai’s never-ending set of puns really did fit the bill for cartoon-y superhero though.

Another slam from their enemy had dirt raining down on them from above.

Getting serious again, Clover rose both the rod and the yo-yo, saying, “You knock it off, I tie it up, and we end this.”

“Got it.” Noir nodded, pointing his staff towards the bird. “On your signal.”

He threw both lines upwards, yanking himself to a higher vantage point, running along the metalwork. They were so high up, it was like he was running towards the sky. Just as he got to the end, he yelled, “Now!”

At the same moment he jumped, the pole extended, slamming into the Nevermore’s chest. It was thrown off with a cry and both of them flew parallel to one another. He wound both weapons back then swung forward, the hook of the fishing rod and the ball of the yo-yo twisting around either wing of the bird. Flightless, it plummeted with another screech to the concrete, slamming down hard enough to shake the earth.

Clover’s landing was much softer, falling onto its chest and using the momentum to leap off of it like a trampoline, landing again several meters past its head. He held both the lines fast, ensuring it couldn’t get free.

“Cataclysm!” Noir came soaring out of the tower next, the power of his own destructive magic having taken shape at the end of his baton, glimmering black like an obsidian gem and curved like a scythe. As he came down, he swung it around, impaling the sharp end in the center of the monster bird’s chest.

It gave one last croaking cry, the ends of its wings curling up before falling flat as its body turned to dust, leaving nothing behind but a single, black feather. Clover threw out his yo-yo for it, the ball end splitting open like the shell of a ladybug’s wings, before snapping it up. He pulled it back in, hand open to catch it.

An arrow struck the end, knocking it off course.

In quick succession, another two arrows were shot off as Omen bared down for them, swooping in like a Nevermore herself. Clover swung the fishing rod, deflecting the one coming his way. Noir did the same for the one aimed at him with a quick spin of his staff, before using one end of it to vault himself upwards and meet their enemy half way.

As they grappled in the air, Clover took the chance to yank on his weapon in. With a flit of his fingers along the yo-yo’s surface, it glowed white, purifying the feather.

Omen gave a pained cry, before slamming the limb of her bow against Noir’s head. Clover’s chest tightened in panic, rushing forward as his partner fell like a stone from the sky. He just barely made up the distance in time to catch him in his arms, relieved to find him still conscious. They both looked up as they heard a scoff.

“Tch. Eventually your luck is going to run out. Nothing will stop me from creating a new world.” Omen sneered. “Until next time, boys.”

She shot an arrow above her, another red and black portal opening up. With a flap of her wings, she flew into it, gone as quickly as she had come.

Clover sighed, looking down at his partner. “You alright?”

“Ugh, gonna be feeling that one tomorrow.” Noir grunted, pressing a hand to his head, one of his leather cat ears being pushed down. His injury didn’t seem to hinder his ability to realize their position, because that telltale smirk overtook his face. “Though, guess I’m the one falling for you now.”

“I’m not above dropping you.”

“Are you always this mean to invalids?”

He loosened his hold just a smidge.

Noir clung to him. “Okay, message received.”

Clover set him on his feet, seeing the people starting to trickle back in to investigate the scene.

Time to go.

Once they were safely hidden on the rooftops, hidden in the shadows of a chimney, Luckybug turned to him with that million-watt smile. “Thanks for the assist. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

Qrow lent back against the brick. As he spoke, his normally rough voice came out even rougher around the edges; the way it always did when he was Noir. “I’m sure you woulda figured it out lucky charm.”

“I’m glad I didn’t have to.” He replied, averting his gaze down. He spun the white feather between his fingers, frowning in consternation. “I still don’t understand how she got here though. Her portals shouldn’t be able to reach this far.”

Any other time, he would have been eager to ponder over the details of this latest attack with him, but he knew his time was running short and something more important was on his mind. “Could say the same about you. You got family out here?”

The frown became more defined. “Noir, you know I can’t-”

“Tell me, I know.” He waved off the excuse. “But that could change, if you told me who you really are.”

Lucky sighed, placing a hand on his hip. “Okay, what brought this all on again?”

Qrow met that blue-eyed gaze he’d once fallen in love with, feeling like everything between them was as thin as the wire of the other’s yo-yo. Uncertain and easy to break. If he wanted to make it stronger, he needed something more.

Now or never.

“Look, all that flirting I do? It’s not for show.” He pushed off the wall, clearing the few steps of distance between them. His heart raced in his ears. “I like you. A lot. I want to get to know you, the real you. But, I need to know if I even got a shot.”

“Noir…” He knew the answer before the other even spoke. It was all over his face, etched in his sad smile and downturned brows. “I’m sorry, but my heart’s already with someone else.”

“Oh.” He turned away.

Funny, he thought it’d hurt more.

A tentative hand rested on his shoulder. “You gonna be okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I am.” Qrow replied, surprised that he meant it.

Before more could be said, both their miraculous started to beep in warning.

The hand slipped away. “Guess time’s up. I’ll… see you around?”

Qrow nodded, hearing Lucky retreat along the roof. Before he could leap away, he called, “Hey, that person of yours. Do they know?”

“I, uh.” Gravel crunched underfoot as his teammate shifted his weight anxiously. “Not yet.”

“You should tell ‘em.” He looked over his shoulder, giving him a reassuring smile. “Anyone would be lucky to have you.”

Lucky’s eyes widened, and then he was smiling back. “Thanks. Someone’s going to be really lucky to have you too, one day.”

Qrow reached for his staff, heading his own way. “Well, duh. I’m incredible.”

The other cast his line, flying away with a laugh. Qrow watched him go, before dropping down into the alleyway. He ducked down behind some boxes just in time, the leather bodysuit falling back into his normal wear.

Blake collapsed into his hair with a sigh. “I’m going to need about fifteen more sardines.”

“Glutton.” He got to his feet, knowing his nest of black hair would hide her just fine as he headed for the sidewalk.

“Qrow? Are you okay?”

Answering it the second time around wasn’t any harder then the first. “Yeah. I just needed to know for sure. Now I know it’s okay to let him go.”

She didn’t respond verbally, but he felt the way she nuzzled his head, though whether it was meant to be for comfort or encouragement was hard to say. Maybe both.

It took about fifteen minutes to get back to the share house he and a half-dozen other students were living in for the duration of the program. When he stepped inside, he found it oddly quiet, the only noise a slight shuffling in the kitchen. A glance revealed his twin sister was there, hunched over the counter, nursing a cup of tea in one hand as she pressed her forehead into the other.

Heh, maybe she felt him get clonked in the head earlier. “You alright?”

“Yeah.” She mumbled. “Just a migraine.”

He lowered his voice, “You the only one here?”

Not up for talking more, Raven merely nodded.

Strange, Clover should have been back by now. “Okay, I’ll make sure to tell everyone to be quiet when they get in. Feel better, sis.”

She offered him a weak smile. He ducked out of the kitchen, heading back for his room. As Blake floated down to her still open can of tiny fish for a much-needed recharge, Qrow snatched up his phone to send out the group message, only to find two missed messages from Clover.

The first one was from nearly an hour ago. Sorry, running late!

On my way now. You won’t believe what happened at the Eiffel Tower. That one was from just a few minutes ago.

Qrow quirked a smile. If Clover only knew…

He tapped back a reply. I know. I went out to try and get a view of it. Forgot my phone.

He could see the other was replying, but he switched to the group text in the meantime, sending out a warning to be quiet for his twin. He’d just hit send, when another string of texts came through, one right after the other:

How do you forget your phone? You’re supposed to get photographic evidence!

Anyways I’ll be there in a few.

Also, noted.

Qrow headed for his bed, flopping across the sheets with a groan. The aches of the day were starting to set in, and he felt ready for a shower and a nap. He buried his pounding head into his pillow, shutting his eyes.

He didn’t open them again until he heard the bedroom door click shut. He rose up on his elbows, scanning the room quickly. The sardine can was gone, as was Blake.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” Clover asked as he crossed the room, dropping his bag on his bed.

“Wasn’t asleep.” He ran a hand over his face, adding, “Much as I wanted to be.”

“You doing alright? You look pretty beat.”

Beat up was more like it.

“Been a long day.” He offered as explanation. It did little to wipe the concern from the other’s face. “I’m fine Cloves. We got that paper to work on.”

Clover ran a hand over the back of his neck. “Sure we do but we can take it easy for tonight. Can’t say I wouldn’t mind to turn in early myself.”

“You? Mr. Extra Credit?”

“Haha, very funny. I mean it. I have this terrible crick in my neck. Oh!” He dropped his hand so he could go digging into his bag. “But hey, I did bring you something that just might cheer you up.”

That got Qrow to finally sit up, trying not to seem too eager as the other procured a small, white box and held it out towards him. He reached across the space between their beds to take the gift. Once it was safely on his side, he pulled open the top.

“It probably got a little smooshed, but it’ll taste the same.” Clover was right about that – the cake had fallen on its side, and smears of icing clung to the top and sides of the box.

Qrow swiped a finger across one of them, gathering just enough to take a taste, and his eyes lit up. “Double German chocolate? You’re too good to me.”

“Nah, I can be better. Because I have… a fork!” Clover waved the plastic utensil around, winking his way. “What would you do without me?”

“Probably have less dorky interactions to deal with.” He replied, reaching out again.

Instead of grabbing the tines, he curled his fingers over where the other’s held onto the handle.

Qrow deliberately met his gaze, smiling as suavely as he could. “Thank you, Clover.”

Though his cheeks turned a little pink, Clover met him match for match with his own charming smile. “Anytime.”

As they both pulled back, they couldn’t help but think this was the start of something good.

Underneath their beds, unbeknownst to them both, Ruby and Blake shared knowing smiles.

#clover ebi #qrow branwen #fair game #fairgameweek2020 #rwby #fanfiction #Chase Firekitten's Tale

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bloggerspow-blog · 4 years ago

Text

Mortal Kombat: Return To Of Kombat Shrines

Johnny Cage wiped sweat and angrily licked his upper lip, “So now is time of glory fighting, do you enjoy pain sandwiches?” Reptile looked down then up, then right, then at Johnny, then thought for a moment, then slightly bent his right knee. “If it is delicious swipings you like, then pain it is to your personal area parts!” Reptile slightly moved his foot and a small plume of dust was swept up. “See?”, said Reptile looking down at the ground. “See what?”, said Johnny. “Sorry, I was checking my massages.” Reptile now furious yelling: “Did you no like my dance moves?! If you were not so busy with your stupid, silly, awful, annoying, amusing, time consuming, absurd, benign, delightful and awful yammering you would have witnessed a thing that would have made you aware of it existing. Johnny, once more involved in a text with his agent looks up and raises his right eyebrow so it is higher than his other eyebrow, the other eyebrow is located on the opposite side of his cranium. The main idea is that there are two eyebrows and the one he is moving is the current one described now. “Well I...” Reptile interrupts while Johnny is speaking just now a moment ago: “Shut up you stupid pud!” Johnny stops moving, puts his hands at his sides and Reptile does the same, neither of them continues to move and stares silently at one another...day turns to night.......

MORTAL KOMBAT!!!!!

Sonya slowly roused from sleep in her room which the sun was coloring a golden shade of yellow, her hair lay about her carefree and flat, like pancakes left on a stove. The pancakes were delicious but there were more made than needed, so some were saved with Tupperware. With a majestic stretch, she raised up from her bed and arched her well toned body showcasing her physique and at the apex letting out a horrendous fart: “PLBBBBBBBBBBBIP!!!!!! It violently shook the adjoining wall. “Really Mom? What the fuck you smelly fucking bitch?! I swear to God after the first 3 games you just let your shit go and do you know how embarrassing it was having to go to school explaining that you were on medication while shouting: “ERUAGHHHUHEEEHHUHHH!” While ripping off men's heads and pissing on their ashes?” Cassie was a typical asshole teenager who was spoiled and smelled like gum and hairspray, even after raising her to be a man she still insisted on being a bitch. Cassie is painfully aware of how stupid it was for her mother to have bred with her father, although to be fair he was the only normal person with a normal penis in the tournament (Kano had a metal cock and Jax was...look Sonya is a racist okay? She wouldn't date Liu Kang, she wouldn't even date Quan Chi due to his Jewish heritage.) “You had your pick Mom, you stupid fucking cunt bag, you could have banged a thunder guy, or even sold your soul to a sorcerer with erectile disfunction and I would be able to kill fuckers with my magic queefs with green magic clouds or some shit. Noooo, instead I have some stupid ass drone and shoot people in a martial arts tournament.” Sonya had been silent up till this point, she had been busy breathing in her flatulence as she found it absolutely fantastic, she loved breathing her own fart gas, especially early in the morning after a night of drinking and eating peanuts. “Cassie, you are a whore, a fucking mistake, we actually were using condoms AND I was on birth control AND had a diaphragm inside me yet we still somehow got fucking cursed with you.” Sonya picked a small booger from her nose, smelled it and flicked it with fury at her daughter where it hit the wall with a shower of gross sparks. “You were a mistake and so was I, we all were because I recently found out Kano is my actual father so yeah, our family is a shit show even by Outworld's standards.” Cassie and Sonya both shake hands and salute, the entire room is suddenly engulfed with flames.

Outside...”Thank God we got out of that”, said Cassie. “You can say that again.”, said Sonya. ”Thank God we got out of that”, said Cassie. “You can say that again.”, said Sonya.”Thank God we got out of that”, said Cassie. “You can say that again.”, said Sonya. “So Mom, are you finally ready to admit you are a stupid whore?”, Cassie looked at her Mom for a response. “Yeah totally am slut.”, Sonya smiled and revealed she was missing 3 teeth, making her smile resemble a hobos. Sonya then let out a battle cry: “Lalalalalalala!!!” Cassie looks up, then down, turns around once, then back at her Mother. “Why did I just do that?” Sonya glares seriously into the distance at a nearby tree. “It's because you are a warrior, because you understood what that thing was to know. When instructions were handed out and mailed, they were hard to understand due to being comprised of small pictures with no words. We all still were able to assemble the furniture ourselves but I will never forget it, that is when I knew you were the un-chosen one, the one who was supposed to know the thing. Then all this other stuff happened, and I am also hungry now.” Cassie looks like a cat who was wet but then became dry and hoarsely replies: “Then, we dine in Hell tonight! My little kettle corn Mommy Mom!!!” Now different things happen to other characters too.

Scorpion grabbed at the brown tube which had become the ultimate opponent with a scrap of white barely hanging onto the edge of the roll. “Damn!”, Scorpion reached out and snatched the tube off the holder with a soft loving gesture. “By the fires of unholy eternal Heck, this is less than what I desire!” He then goes through a painstaking task of peeling back enough cardboard to cover his hand and reluctantly lowers his palm to relieve his stinky shameful horrible waste he was naughty enough to expel because he is bad and a devil person. “Whew it sure is smelly in here now!”, waving his hand in a circular, counter-clock wise and sideways motion he sang a sad, uplifting ditty: “Iiiiiiii juuuuuussst tooook a craaaaapp, iiiiiitt waaaas reallllly baaaaaddd, it buuuuuuuurrned my deeeeemonic aaaaaassss and nooooowww I am saaaaad.” He exited with a mighty flush as his enemy faced him down right outside the door. “I need to shit too once in a while dickhead.”, Sub Zero was not pleased, ever since this uneasy peace it seemed there was never a free moment to use the bathroom. “What are you doing in there anyway? It is not like you are jerking off, your dick was burned off years ago.” Scorpion erupted in a bout of flame and was now a skeleton. “Nooo, I can't, should we talk about what happened to your appendages? Or is it too soon to mention the ice tray incident?” Sub Zero became sad and cried tears which froze before being able to escape his stupid cold face. “You do not know what it is like, shrinkage was a real issue and you know how it makes me feel. Can we not do this right now please?” “Oh all right, I supposed you have been helping me with my baths and daily feedings, ever since we moved into this apartment I have begun feeling like you do not hate me anymore, you never rip off my head, you are always criticizing me and it makes me hot...not in a good way either. Sub Zero set down his knitting and looked at his friend, “Look, I really still need to use the bathroom okay?” “Then use it.”, said Scorpion. “I will.”, replied Sub Zero with a pep in his step as he pranced to the bathroom angrily. Sub Zero then uses the bathroom. Having finished using the restroom, Sub Zero returns to the couch and resuming knitting while humming: “Dun dun da dun da dun da dun da dah. Duh da du da duh da, (murmering) mortal kombat” Scorpion now in human form once more slaps his right knee past his thigh, but not quite the very tip of his knee, about 4 inches away from the front of his leg where the human knee joint is usually located. “See? No hate, just some odd couple bullshit...you used to be cool man.” Both beginning humming together as we slip out quietly...I mean really who wants to watch that? They are like a married couple.

Lament of Badgers

Liu Kang looked out over Edenia, a sprawling and beautiful land, with its sparkling waters and happy squirrels. He then put down the magazine and observed his dreary surroundings. The apartment was in his Mother Sui Kang's name not his own so he could not help but try to follow the rules, no loud chewing, no spiked arm bands on the couch and the worst rule of all, no fighting. There was water running, in fact it had been running for too long now... “Kitana! Are you almost done washing our produce yet?” “Almost my little Egg Foo Hung!” God he hated that nickname, yes he had a huge dong, but it was not the most mighty of the Wangs, Goro held that title. “Did you check the mail K? I was too busy rehearsing for my graduation speech.” Kitana laughed crazily and did a back flip, “I am so glad to be who I am! And yes I checked the mail and no you did not get anything, hehhhahahahahahaaaa!” Liu Kang stood up with speedy and fresh air while flossing shouting: “You disrespect the fish you get the whole thing, you wanted to see, you dreamed so hard like a fighting fish of glory. So now what say the opponents?” Kitana rose in the air on one leg while posing with her hands clasped and began to sing “Shake shake shake senora shake your body line.” and while gyrating was also firing a Desert Eagle at her husbands feet. “For fuck's sake what is wrong with you? You crazy ass bitch, we are gonna get evicted now cut it out!” Kitana descended to the ground and scratched at the wood, she scratched until her fingers were bleeding. Liu Kang watched for a few moments and then bowed, back flipping out of the room while letting out small “Wudap!” and “Wah!”.

Keys were heard jingling the doorknob. “Waiyaiyaiyaiyaiiiiiiii!!!” It was the landlord, must have gotten off early. She flung herself into the room, then backwards down the stairs and out into the road. A passing car honked its horn loudly, Sui stood up and lifted the vehicle over end like it was made of paper. People scattered in fear as she walked up to the window of the car where a man was stammering and shaking. She pointed her bony dirty green finger in his dumb stupid face, then turned and ran back up the stairs, then fell back down the stairs, then went to the local corner store for a candy bar, then returned to the stairs, she then carefully went up them and hopped over the last one, she was not going to fall for that shit again. Entering the room to find filthy empty food containers and dirty diapers stacked in the corner. “ I am home you lazy no good doo doo Kang!” Her screams filled the room and Liu Kang smiled warmly, “Hey Mom, did you check the mail? I am waiting for a collectors edition mug with a map of how to get to the new island for the chess tournament I told you about. His mother punched a hole in the wall, lit a cigarette while bouncing a basketball with her arm still in the wall, she took a drag and no smoke ever came out. “I know how deep this goes, there is no chess tournament, you must have gotten drunk with rent again right?” Liu Kang looked into a nearby mirror, winked, wiped his face, noticed his left eyebrow was getting long again and plucked a hair, then procured a shaver and removed the entire thing. “Oh no now I look not like a furious fighting man of burning muscle punches anymore. “Oh you look so handsome, like a suitable rental car with extra seat room!” His mother was now juggling firey blades and a cat. “Mom why do you always know just what words are said?” She swung a samurai sword at a watermelon in mid-air. “From here on out I will never talk like a boondalungaloo again. I am sorry that you are such a little baby bitty beep beep blop ploopy bloopy blee. It is the only way to center your Chihuahua.”

Liu Kang nodded and quietly painted his finger nails hot pink, he stopped to apply a small sticker of a baby chick to his index nail. “Kitana, thank you so much for this color it is striking, get it?” Kitana burst into the room wearing an overcoat and a bullet proof vest. “I am happy you like it, to make others happy is the motto of the badger!” Liu Kang fought to prevent vomiting as he drank a glass of rotten milk. He looked at a picture of himself on the wall, “Badger? What are you talking about?” Kitana set her puppy down and it ran backwards to its kennel. “You know silly, the Lament of Badgers Festival. It is what precedes Mortal Kombat in the hood bitch.” Liu kang took a long drink of chunky sour milk, “By the Gods why am I drinking this? Yeah I forgot, oh well, guess it is time for DVR watching. Liu Kangs ugly stupid fingernails tapped the remote lightly. He list-fully opened the viewing guide and selected his library, then navigated to settings, system and updates and then moved down 3 places to select update check, the screen flickered and he was back at the previous menu. Liu watched as his TV levitated off the ground and fell, shattering like a pillow dropped on bags. “Liu Kang you silly sad Sally! Get the fuck up and train now!” Raiden was standing in front of him smoking a blunt and wearing a pimp coat, his hat replaced with a bandanna. “And yo stupid asses better have my rent by the first...bitch.” He was instantly gone in a puff of green smoke, a small fire had been started by his lightning feet of fury. Liu Kang had to act fast, he threw Kitana's cat at the fire and it took out a cat sized fire extinguisher out of its suitcase and sprayed coolant, putting out the fire. While flying through the air it had also pissed for the length of the throw, not of fear but vengeance. “Now I leave you with my mighty piss stain to remind you of the day you crossed me, Sudakai Hiroki!” The cat struggled his paw to flip the bird to the human and left, making sure to slam the door. “But your name was Fluffles.” Liu Kangs eyes welled up with tears as he chopped an onion furiously with care. The door burst open, and Sudakai looked like a fire dragon as he said “That was never my name, you are so stupid man really, no one likes you. You are cheap, you are always yelling some unintelligible shit and spamming, sorry bro but fuck you. I forgot my nip.” The cat had snatched his satchel of kitty cat mowie wowie and fled slamming the door. Liu Kang cried this time out of sadness as the cat had also made off with the rent...oh well...it wasn't the first time.

#liukangwoo #mk11funny #funnyfanfict #retroxtainer #mk11fanfiction #comedymk #subzerofunny #scorpionfunny #fictionalfun #mkcomedy

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fics-for-my-heart · 6 years ago

Text

Cats out of the bag

Summary: Set visits with Tom lead to a secret being revealed

Word count: 1301

Warning: swearing

A/N: I found this prompt on Pinterest and went with it. Let me know what you think!

Masterlist

“Have you seen this man?”

“Only everyday since I was seven.”

—————

“Alright, Tom, remember the flips you practiced yesterday? Can you do some of those during this fight scene?” The stunt coordinator asked.

“Yeah!” A muffled voice sounded from behind the red mask.

It was a hot day, probably one of the hotter ones, and filming for the new Spiderman movie was in full swing. In all honesty you wanted to be in Tom’s air conditioned trailer reading a book, but you promised you would come out and watch him film. He missed you and had invited you to join him on set so you flew in a week ago with Harry and Sam.

“Have you seen this man?” Asked bystander watching Tom flip all around pretending to fight the villains hinchman. Not entirely interested, but her child was absolutely mesmerized.

You smiled. “Only everyday since I was seven.”

She gave you a look trying to decide if she should believe you or not. But it was true, you and Tom had met in grade school and had been inseparable ever since. You talked everyday either on the phone or facetime, and you snapchatted all the time also, so really you had seen him just about everyday since the age of seven.

The director called cut and told everyone to go on lunch. Tom quickly removed the mask, relishing in the fresh air, and made his way over to where you stood behind the barricade.

“Hey there kiddo!” He kept his Peter voice on as he bent down eye level with the child who was now bouncing with excitement.

“Oh my goodness! Mommy it’s Peter Parker!” He pulled on the hand of the lady who was speaking to you moments before. “I’m Charlie!” His smile was so wide it was contagious as he held out a Spiderman action figure.

“Hello Charlie. Woah! That’s so cool! Can I sign it?” Tom was seriously the cutest when it came to fans. The little boy’s head shook up and down so fast it’s a wonder he didn’t get dizzy. “Y/N, do you have a marker?” He asked, looking up at you from his crouched position. The mothers jaw going slack at the realization that you hadn’t lied about knowing him.

“Always.” You smile as you pull a sharpie out of you bag. Being on set you noticed that a lot of people would ask Tom for autographs so you started keeping a marker on you.

Tom took the marker and signed “Spiderman” on the back of the figure. “Here ya go buddie. Be careful, it's still a little wet and might smear.” He stood up and ruffled the kids hair.

“Thank you Mr. Spiderman!” Charlie couldn’t take his eyes off the toy, smile stretched from ear to ear.

Tom shook hands with the mother. “Would it be okay if we also got a picture?” Her voice was soft with nerves.

“Of course.” He looked at you again, the twinkle in his eyes turning your heart to puddy. “Y/N, Can you take it for us?”

“You don’t even have to ask, dear.” You respond, taking the mothers phone as Tom reaches over to pick up the little boy.

Charlie smashed his face into Tom’s, not even caring how sweaty it was, smiling so hard his eyes were closed. You snapped a few with his mom, and then one with just him and Tom. Showing them to the mother as you handed her back her phone.

“Thank you guys so much, it means the world to him.” The mother smiled as her and Charlie walked away.

“Hello there.” Tom finally said to you. “Let’s go grab some food and hide in my trailer till they are ready for me.” He tried to place his arm around you but you stopped him.

“Sorry ‘Stinky-Man’ but you smell awful, so I’m not hugging you till you shower.” You stepped away as he almost fell over the barricade.

He groaned. “Thankfully we are shooting some regular scenes next, so, you,” he reached over and poked your nose, “go grab us lunch and I’ll go make myself smell good.”

You rolled your eyes but made your way to the catering tent. When you returned to Tom’s trailer, his music was so loud it could be heard from outside. You placed the food on the table and turned the music down before setting up the lunches on plates.

“Excuse me, ma’am. I was listening to that.” A sassy voice spoke from behind you as arms wrapped around your waist.

“Well, I don’t think the entire lot wants to hear your music, darling.” You patted his hand and turned in his arms. Since around the time you entered high school, you had Tom had been secretly seeing one another. You both admitted to having feelings, but with the weird schedules of filming and you taking some classes back home, a full relationship didn’t seem like an option. So there were a lot of stolen moments when you were together. Hiding out in his trailer, kisses, cuddles, the occasional make out session gone too far. You liked it, you were happy, Tom was happy. There wasn’t the worry of constant paparazzi harassment. Just you, Tom, and the moments you shared together.

He rubbed his wet head all over your face. “Do I smell better now, love?” He asked as you squealed, trying to get away.

“You shit! Stooooop!” You pushed his shoulders, but couldn’t stop the laughter that escaped your lips. “Thomas!” He finally stopped, face red from laughter and an innocent look on his face.

“What’s wrong? Don’t want a shower?” He caught your lips in a quick kiss before letting go, handing you the towel he had used on his hair and sitting at the table.

“Not while I’m fully clothed thanks.” You roll your eyes, sitting across from him and placing your feet in his lap.

“We can change that.” He says with a wink.

You scoff. “We most certainly will not.”

Tom laughed, tossing a chip before changing the subject.

You stayed in his trailer when he returned to set, deciding to take a nap. The warmth from the day finally cooling on your skin, and the full belly from lunch made you extremely tired. You weren’t sure how long you had been asleep, but you were suddenly awaken by a weight on your chests.

“Oof.” Opening one eye you could see the brown curls your fingers were instantly drawn to. “Thomas.”

“Y/N. Sorry to wake you.” His voice was lazy as the feeling of your fingers relaxed him, making him realize how sleepy he was.

You leaned up and kissed his head. “It’s alright, love.” And with that you both fell asleep.

A banging on the door jolted you both awake a few hours later. “Tom, you’re needed back on set.”

“Jesus. Alright!” He sat up, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself from the rude awakening. “I need to get a sign to let people know I’m napping.”

You poked him with your toe. “Sounds like a smart plan.”

“Honestly I just want to stay here with you, darling.” He leaned over you, meeting your lips for a slow, passionate kiss.

“If only.” You sighed as he pulled away.

“Holy. Shit.” A voice from the door pulled your attention away from each other. Sam was standing in there, his dropped jaw quickly turning into a sinister grin. “Fucking knew it.” He turned on his toes. “Harry! I was right! You owe me $50!!”

You placed your hands on his cheeks. “Well, I guess the cats out of the bag now.”

“Oh those little shits.” Tom pecked your lips once more before jumping off the couch. “HARRY! SAM! You two are so dead!”

#spiderman #peter parker #tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #tom #tom holland fluff

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margridarnauds · 6 years ago

Note

6, 7, 10, 21, 23

THANKS AVERY

6. Answered here

7. List your NoTPs from each fandom you’ve been in.

Let’s have the SALT. (Mandatory disclaimer that my own personal feelings towards the SHIP does not inherently extend to the shippers, that I ship many dynamics that some people would call “abusive” given the ongoing debate over what “enemies to lovers” means, and that some dynamics here are things that I might have shipped under other circumstances, but things just...didn’t work out that way.)

Cats - I hated Plato/Victoria before I even knew that it was POSSIBLE to hate a ship that much. I always went with the Plato = Macavity theory to get that little skeavy dudebro off my girl. (Also, I’ll be honest, the whole “mating dance” thing is...such a fucking weird sequence anyway. Like, my ship preferences aside, ALW WHY DID YOU HAVE TO HAVE A SCENE WHERE THE CATS FUCK?)

Pirates of the Caribbean - Jack Sparrow/Elizabeth.

Harry Potter - Ron/Hermione. I never saw it, tbh, and they seemed to be pretty bad for one another, even in the books. The films just took it up several notches.

OUAT - Captain motherfucking Swan. I hated that smug, greasy little motherfucker so much. So much.

Star Trek Ds9: Jadzia/Worf. THERE. I SAID IT. Both sides brought out the absolute worst in each other, leading to an absolute trashfire of a ship that obliterated all in its wake. AND THEN WE HAD TO DEAL WITH THE FALLOUT OF THAT. EVEN AFTER THE SHIP WAS *DEAD*. Don’t mind me, don’t mind me. I’m cool, I’m cool.

Carmilla - Tbh...Laferry. Never my thing. I know that her character development’s a BIG part of Perry’s arc and I fully embrace character growth, but it just. Left a bad taste in my mouth. And the way shippers used to treat Laflashdrive shippers back in the day. As if shipping a nonbinary character and a flashdrive somehow makes it hetero. (#LetLafBeaRobotfucker2k19).

Les Miserables - You know what? While I’m on the Salt Train...

Enjolras/Grantaire. Now, there are plenty of ships that are probably more deeply annoying to me, but none are as prevalent as this one. And I might like them a lot more if they WEREN’T so prevalent. But as it is, it’s like a black HOLE that’s devoured the fandom, so that you’d think the entire fucking novel/musical is about these two. And. Maybe I shouldn’t talk given what I ship, but it isn’t even like they’re THEM at this point, they’re just two generic white guys in an “uwu” relationship. And I’m not speaking for EVERY single thing given that I have neither the time, concentration, or will to read every. Single. Thing. Made about these two, but it’s something I’ve noticed, though I’m not saying that I haven’t enjoyed SOME things made about them and the whole “You believe in nothing.” “I believe in you” is...good content.

It’s like...you’re walking in the woods (there’s no one around and your phone is dead) and you see a brightly colored pink tree. At first, it’s great. A pink tree! You’ve never seen one of those before. You wander further into the woods, and there’s another! And another! And soon enough, you’re surrounded by pink trees, in a technicolored horror realm. Where’s the sky? Where did you come in at? You think you remember seeing the sun once, but NO, it’s another fucking pink tree blocking your way. There is no God, there is no ground, there is only a technicolored nightmare blocking your every move, drowning you in visions of Barbie-esque horror.

Terra Nova - Skye/Lucas. WHY GOD WHY? Look, we KNOW I have terrible taste in ships, some of which have...questionable dynamics. BUT EVEN I CAN’T GET INTO THIS ONE. There’s no...mutual spark between the two of them, just Lucas creeping on Skye and Skye trying to get away. Also, since I’m here...Skye is estimate to have been born in ‘32-33, making her approximately 16-17 by the time the plot kicks into gear. Let’s be very generous and bump her into 17-18. Lucas? 2124, making him...oh, 25. Not the WORST age gap I’ve ever seen in my lifetime...but....questionable. Very questionable. And I know the series wants to have us believe that people grow up faster (see: The fact they actually think Maddy’s old enough to GET MARRIED. TO A SOLDIER. WHO IS REALISTICALLY IN DANGER OF MAKING HER A WIDOW,) but NO. Like, at my CURRENT AGE, with less than four years separating me from that age gap, I can’t see it. That is still at least 7 years of experience in the “real world” that she doesn’t have. He still saw someone with THAT MUCH of an age gap with him and WANTED something, whether or not she wanted it or not, and tried to PURSUE that something while calling her “sister”. Like, I can’t stop anyone from shipping it and I have a firm “ship and let ship” mentality, but....EW. EWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWeWEEWEWEW.

B5 - I’m in the same boat as you as far as...on one hand. Byron/Lyta makes me want to vomit, but also...our Teep OC does owe her existence to her weird, hetero white goth uncle.

Star Wars: Han/Leia. Because, as we all know, cornering a woman before you kiss her is the love story of the generation. Han would have been better with Luke and Leia with Holdo.

The Pirate Queen - Tiernan/Gráinne. I. Hate. This. Ship.

His Dark Materials - Torn between Ruta Skadi/Asriel and Lyra/Will. Tbh, leaning towards the latter because while the former is AWFUL and signifies the quite frankly terrible writing decisions that distinguish the second and third books, at least it didn’t involve a badass, feral girl child becoming a dainty, submissive 50s housewife in the body of a 12 year old. “Oh, Will, I’ll do whatever you say, I promise. I won’t use my awesome powers unless you say I can, you’re so fantastic, Will.” Gag me. Also...they’re twelve. This doesn’t HAVE to be an epic, tragic romance, and the fact that their “kiss” (WHAT THE FUCK PULLMAN, WHAT THE FUCK, I’M NOT A PURITAN BUT WHAT THE FUCK) is the key to saving the universe? Really? Basically, they should have been friends.

1789 - Danton/Solène. (I KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT I WOULD SAY, BUT NO. MY HATRED FOR THIS ONE MANAGES TO OUTSHINE IT.) “But Rachel,” you might say, “You’ve been very, very open about preferring anything to Ronan/Olympe” and that’s TRUE. But the Toho version managed to push my hatred of this one with The Scene, AKA “Go back to the kitchen, Solène and let the menfolk take care of this.” The French version didn’t even really have it as A Thing, he was just a customer. And the amount of time Danton spends with Solène is always directly proportional to the amount of spinal surgery she’s going to have. Now, I can’t exactly BLAME the two Japanese productions for doing what they did, because they have to appeal to a Japanese audience in the way they see fit. It’s an ADAPTATION of 1789, not a tour of it. But that doesn’t mean I have to LIKE it. And. Like. You know there’s no way THAT one’s going to end in a way that’s good for Solène. Either (1) he’ll set her aside for his family or (2) If they SOMEHOW stay together...the Reign of Terror’s looming.

Also: Danton/Charlotte. No. No. Just. No. There are so many reasons why. But no.

Ace Attorney - Maya/Nick. WHY SWEET MOTHER OF HETERONORMATIVITY WHY?

10. Is there a fandom you read fic from but don’t write in?

We’ve both discussed a lot about how...DIFFICULT it can be to write fic for something. There are a lot of things I love dearly but just don’t have it in me to write fic for. Ace Attorney is an obvious one, Mozart l’Opera Rock, Elisabeth (though I’m trying to work on that one), Les Miserables, Star Wars, Star Trek, B5....a ton more that I could mention but it would honestly take too much time. Words hard, reading still hard but slightly easier.

21. What was the first fanfic you ever wrote?

The first thing I ever wrote, when I was five years old, was (very heteronormative) fanfiction for The Stinky Cheese Man, where he finds The Stinky Cheese Woman, which now, of course, I recognize as my own attempt to write myself into a narrative from which I’d been excluded. Or something. I think my mom still has it buried someplace, lurking...

Also, @theocraindora at some point managed to get me to write at least one full Carmilla AU during the second season, when we both must have been about 17-18-ish, if my math’s not too dubious, and that was the first thing I ever actually finished for a long time, even though it didn’t ever meet my personal standards for publishing and is likely to stay buried. For awhile, at least.

23. Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of & explain why you like it.

Since I talked about PLP’s tragic backstory, time for something happier. Paradise Lost, which I’m actually pretty damn happy with because it was my first time working with something that’s not a historical piece, and it was honestly a treat working with Mira’s voice. I think that Mira really “clicked” for me as a character here. Like, “Yes, this is why she’s like this, this makes sense.” There are some times where you can really feel a character’s voice when you’re writing and you can get things out, and this was one of those very rare times for me. Not saying that it’s going to happen NEXT time, but this time, it was rather relaxing.

It was honestly one of the smoother writing experiences I had? Like, it only took me about a day or so, from when we exchanged PMs to publishing it, which is pretty impressive, all things considered. I’m still not tossing out doing anything more with this world in the future, tbh. That and Goosefic were probably two of the easiest to just...get out. (WHICH. 92 HITS. GOOSEFIC HAS 92 HITS. THAT IS INSANE FOR A ONE-SHOT IN A SMALL FANDOM. HOLY SHIT.)

(From your other ask!)

50. How did you get into reading and/or writing fanfiction?

I’ve been WRITING fanfiction since I could hold a pencil and make scribbles. When I was younger, I could write that kind of thing easily, the shame came later.

Finding out that fanfiction EXISTED...was probably when I was about 9-10 and found Balto x Harry Potter crossover fanfiction. Which. In hindsight. Was pretty horrible, but my young self was CAPTIVATED because Balto and Harry Potter? In the same universe? IT WAS LIKE MAGIC.

Astonishingly, I did not read M rated stuff until I was at least 15-16-ish. I kept myself remarkably sheltered and only looked into it when I became curious. And got over my weird hyper-religious phase.

When I was about 12-13, I started to toy with writing myself, writing my own OC crossovers for Phantom Manor (the gother, European version of Haunted Mansion that was my special interest for. Ages). Carmilla when I was 17-18 was one of the first things I wrote a full, complete Thing for, even if I never published anything for it. And from there, I’d try to write things for both The Pirate Queen and Dracula, though both projects proved to be too ambitious and I ended up cutting them off, tragically, but they gave me the confidence I needed to get into 1789, which I DID publish something for finally, on the day I was taking my GRE because. Well. I had something else I feared more than a flame.

51. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go!

I don’t know if this is one thing or five separate things in a trenchcoat, but here you go.

I love how we can explore things that could never be explored in canon, for one reason or another; I love that we have an experience that we can filter according to what WE want, including trigger warnings, which is honestly a godsend to me. We talk a lot about the transformative nature of fanfic, and it IS, but also, the level of empowerment that comes with being able to take back a narrative that says “hey, you’re not supposed to be in this narrative” or “You’ll like what we put out and you’ll stick with it” or “Well, if you don’t like it, create your own” and say “Okay, I will.” And, obviously the comments are lovely, having that kind of instant encouragement, and in the small fandoms in particular, it’s VITAL, but I also don’t feel like they’re inherently mandatory or that readers should feel FORCED. But I do love that, no matter what, something you write can connect with someone from the other side of the world. Like, people can argue all they want about fanfic being valid or not, but MOST people who want to be professional writers never get that. And when you stop and think about how we’ve been changing the narrative for as long as we’ve had oral stories, that this is how storytelling was ORIGINALLY done...that’s very humbling.

#janetcarter

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alovevigilante · 3 years ago

Text

Setting and time: Somewhere, somehow, I dunno.

Kari: Hey George!

George Lopez: yes ma’am!

Kari: listen, I like you. But I need you to put out your stogie, cause I got the asthma, and also before the stink gets so bad that the raccoons take a shit on the back porch cause they were mad because fooled that there was no garbage there to rummage through, cause that’s what your cigar smells like.. stinky garbage that would fool a family of raccoons that need to take a shit….

George Burns (mumbles): listen pal, you better do what she says, otherwise she’ll shove a celery stick with peanut butter and raisins in your mouth. I still can’t completely open mine due to the cement reaction of the sticky peanut butter to the roof of my mouth there, and that was a few weeks ago…

Kari: it’s called, “Ants on a log” and it’s delicious and a better alternative to smoking a cigar that makes the surrounding area smell like someone is taking a crap in a forest fire.

George Lopez: Lots if shit takers because of cigars around here…

George Burns: I’m still smacking away…

Kari: you were smacking before I was born!

George Lopez: um, sure. I can put it out…

Kari: Thank you kindly.

George Lopez: I hate to bring up the obvious here, but George Burns… you’re dead.

George Burns: I might be dead, but I’m still here discussing all those strings of fiber that are now jammed in between my teeth from that piece of celery she shoved inbetween my dentures there…

George Lopez: um, yeah… I didn’t hear that part… sounds uncomfortable, but on the bright side, maybe you don’t need your daily dose of Metamucil now.

Carol Channing: (real slurpy like smiling so huge the Cheshire Cat would be disconcerted) jjeee-ust use polident, Georgie! It’ll help with those awful tar stains on your teeth over there from all those big ole nasty cigars you smoked for all those long years, and it’ll keep your breath minty fresh! Smell mine! Suuuuper dee duper polident!

(Carol Channing smiles and snuggles the polident box next to her face, and does a bunny nose..)

George Lopez: what does that have to do with fiber?

Martha (big mouth) ray: um, carol? that was me in the polident commercials.

Carol Channing: are you ssssshure it wasn’t meee?! I think I remember myself smiling really widely like this:

Martha ray: no.

Carol Channing: are you positive?! Because I would’ve shown all of my teeth… that would’ve made sense that I did those commercials…

Florence Henderson as Carol Brady: and me…. Don’t forget me!!! I did the commercials too! I’m carol brady! Remember that?! I am the mom on the Brady bunch! My husband Mike didn’t want to do the variety show, but we did it anyway. The kids were insistent that we do it… I wasn’t. I’m a wall flower really…

Kari: you were in a band with bob dylan’s son?!

Carol Brady: no, I wasn’t. How do they perform if they’re so shy?!

Martha ray: oyyyyy…

George Lopez: can I ask what the hell I just walked in on here?

George Carlin: don’t…

Kari: look! There’s 3 Georges!!!! There’s gotta be a joke in this somewhere…

George Carlin: not so far, unfortunately… but how about this? a smoker, a joker, and a midnight poker… player… (Keillor, I would never say this shit… )

Kari: you love manfred Mann!

George Carlin: I guess I do now…

Kari I have no clue how we lucked out, but George Lopez here was in a huge poker tournament! He lost to a girl.

Gracie Allen: oh George, you didn’t! When I was alive women were not allowed to participate in such masculine things… remember honey?! I tried playing with you one time in one if our shows and I won by accident cause I didn’t know how to play and I was shuffling a deck that had been sewn together and I dressed like a card shark! Oh! was I funny…

George Burns: um, Gracie dear,.. they was Lucille Ball in an episode of, “I love Lucy.”

Gracie Allen: oh dear… that wasn’t me then?!

Desi arnaz: not unless you were my wife.

Gracie Allen: oh no…. I could never eat Cuban… too spicy…

George Lopez: holy shit…

George Carlin: look George, here’s the deal; We aren’t the people you may have known personally or met one time at a celebrity golf tournament or a celebrity roast…

Gracie Allen: mr. Lopez, you’ll have to forgive me, but are you in tournaments for a living? Is that a career now?

George Burns: here Gracie, have an “ant on a log” it’s delicious..,

(George Burns shoves the celery stick with peanut butter and raisins in Gracie’s mouth)

George Carlin: As I was saying… we are facsimiles that this woman Kari keillor, an unknown and fine that way but would prefer to get paid highly cause who wouldn’t for her writing, and stay relatively incognito like most writers do or don’t depending, cobbles together to entertain herself and maybe like 4 other people. So, don’t freak.

George Lopez: I’ve dealt with creepier… after all, I was on network television for years…. (1)

Kari: ok, this scene is going south fast… So, I’m gonna end it with a fruity observation.

George Lopez: ok….

Kari: George, your last name implies you’re low on…. Pez.

Richard Pryor: it doesn’t imply it, it straight up says it. Hey… listen man… if your body was a pez dispenser, does your dick come out your neck?

George x 3: scene.

(1) network execs not reading this, please don’t blame George Lopez, or any other person for this terrible display of writing… it’s just that Kari’s pen, Bill Murray, wrote this, so, if you’re going to blame anyone, please put all blame on, Bill Murray. Thank you. 🥸🙈🤷‍♀️💕🤣

The Steve Miller band wrote and sang, “the joker”. (Mentioned above) Manfred Mann, did not. But, if you are blinded by the light, be sure to check him out, as he is the resident expert in that department…

#no tags

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dollhandinfection · 7 years ago

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How was AFI?

Oh man, it was honestly a life changing experience. So the concertstarted at 9 pm and me and my awesome friend got there at 12 pm. Oh and did Imention that it was fucking hot?? It was literally 110 degrees, and if you knowanything about Kansas you know that the majority of the heat was humidity. Butluckily when we got to The Midland (which is where they played) we found thislittle crook of shade so we put all our stuff in that and camped out. While wewere sitting there it came out that we were the first people (and almost only)who were actually from Kansas. I spoke to a couple of AFI fans while we werewaiting for hours and most of them were pretty cool and really nice. While wewere waiting I went across the street to the really fancy grocery store to goto the bathroom. I go in and I end up talking to this neat dude whose like anuber fan and has been to almost all the shows on The Blood Tour. While we weretalking it got brought up that apparently Circa Survive wasn’t playing thatnight. Which honestly I was kinda glad about cuz I didn’t really know anythingabout Circa Survive. But I felt so shitty because my friend came with me cuzshe’s a Circa fan! Luckily when I told her she wasn’t upset or anything andsaid she would’ve came anyway. Apparently a lot of other people in line alsodidn’t know that Circa wasn’t playing, but no one was mad about it (I guess alot of people just assumed that because all the other shows on this leg of thetour are with Circa Survive, but I guess KC was the exception.) I was also a little worried because people kept saying thatthe tour shirt didn’t even mention the KC stop on it, but luckily they werewrong! (it doesn’t have the right date on there, but it definitely says KC). Sofinally at about 8 something they start letting us in, and by that point myfriend got like a pinched nerve from sitting on the ground for too long, so sheended up just sitting in the lobby for the concert (which honestly may havebeen a good thing because she probably would’ve gotten crushed in that crowd).I immediately go to the merch table and while I’m buying my shirts my awesomefriend goes and saves me a spot so close to the stage. I get to the spot andthe girl standing right next to me is wearing the same shirt as me! (which isfunny because we were the ONLY people there wearing that shirt. We both knew itwas an older AFI tour shirt, but we both couldn’t remember exactly where we gotit from haha.) She was pretty cool and so was her husband. Before the concertstarted, she leans over and goes, “so you’re gay and I gotta ask… Do you thinkDavey and Jade are gay?? I always thought they were in a relationship.” And I’mjust like ha well they’ve never really straight out said what they’resexualities are, but I know that Davey’s really never been the one for labels.I honestly don’t think they’re 100% straight, but I can’t really say if they’regay or not since I don’t personally know them. (Granted tho they’ve been in aband for over 20 years and if you haven’t been at least a little gay with yourbest friend, then you’re not really best friends haha.) So finally the concert starts and Citizen comes out. Now I had only really heard ofCitizen by their lyric pics on tumblr and a couple of seconds of some of theirsongs. But I gotta say, I was pretty impressed. Besides the fact that there wasn’t a good mic check before playing, I thought it went pretty well. Icould hear all the instruments clearly and that whole band was really puttingtheir all in. It was a little awkward since no one really knew their songs sowe just kinda stood there and listened and clapped. After that performance I’lldefinitely be checking out more of their music. I really wanted to saysomething to them after the concert, but they pretty much grabbed all theirequipment and bolted (they probably just wanted to get back on the road asap.)After Citizen it was about 20 minutes before it finally happened. Adam came outfirst and got set up, then Hunter, then Davey, and Jade. Where I was standing Igot an amazing view of Davey and Jade. Sadly tho I wasn’t able to get any pics of Hunter because he was on theleft side of the stage, and I couldn’t get any pics of Adam during the concertbecause of the way his drums were lit up you couldn’t see his face. They startoff playing Girl’s not Grey and it literally felt like I was seeing the face ofGod. Davey locked eyes with me for like 1 second and then he reached his handright across in front of me and I brushed it with my fingertips because I wasnervous and didn’t want to be pushy. And let me tell you about this setlistholy fuck. So like I said they started off with Girl’s not Grey, then they wentinto Love like Winter (which was the first song I ever heard by them so thatwas awesome), then So Beneath You, then 17 Crimes (which is one of my favsongs/music videos), and then Malleus Maleficarum (which is when everyone losttheir fucking minds and started shoving like crazy), then Get Hurt (which wasthe first time they ever played that live!), then Lost Souls (which is whenDavey stepped into the crowd and I FUCKING TOUCHED HIS BACK HE WAS RIGHT THEREIN FRONT OF ME AND I HAVE VIDEO PROOF), then The Leaving Song pt. 1, then HeWho Laughs Last, then Feed From the Floor (which is also one of my fav songsand I may base my AFI tattoo that I’m gonna get after), then Days of thePhoenix (I could watch them play this song over and over until I die), then IHope You Suffer (which honestly I never really connected with this song before,but watching them perform it live holy shit, there was just so much passion andit literally felt like Davey was singing the song into my soul), then SnowCats, then Miss Murder, then Paper Airplanes, and then Silver and Cold (which wow, it just really struck a chord with me).Davey also sang most of Jack the Ripper (one of my all time favorites)completely a capella! (I also got some of that on video.) During the concert Ialmost lost my balance a couple of times cuz during certain songs people fromthe very back would start pushing and it pushed me into the first two rows ofpeople (which I said sorry about every time it happened just like the girlsbehind apologized when it happened.) Oh and also during the last two songs Igot wedged between these guys that were like a foot taller than me. The guy onthe right wasn’t really excited and just kinda stood there and nodded his head.The guy on the left wore a bright blue shirt (he was in the video that I took ofDavey in the crowd) and he was drunk and a complete asshole. Apparently duringthe rest of the concert he was pushing and shoving the girls that were behindme and made his way next to me. then during the last two songs he startsshoving me to the right (when literally no one else was shoving), I thought itwas an accident at first. Then I realize he’s clearly trying to bump me out ofmy spot, so I start shoving back. Then HE LITERALLY STARTS SHOVING HIS ASS INMY FACE. I had it, I was in the heat all day and about to pass out from toomuch excitement and I was not gonna put up with this shit, so I shoved him realhard and yelled, “DUDE WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?? YOU’RE SHOVING YOUR ASSIN MY GODDAMN FACE I’M A LITTLE GUY JUST LET ME STAND HERE PLEASE”. He fucking turns tome and says, “um you’re being a little rude.” So I was like haha dude whateverand wedged myself in front of him so that I could enjoy the last song. Afterthe concert like six people behind me came up to me to tell me that that drunk guy was an asshole and thanked me for actuallypushing him back and calling him out (they were all my height and the dude was like 6 foot something). A partof me worries that Davey just saw me pushing and thought that I was the assholeor something, but Jade was right there too and we talked after the show and hewas so nice. So after the concert ended me and my friend went out by the tourbus to wait and see if the band would come out. Adam came out first and theperson next to me asked for a pic and he said, “well actually I have a coupleof stuff I need to get. But I’ll be back, is that okay?” Like wow what a sweetguy. So eventually he comes back out and I’m starstruck. I shake his hand andtell him how weird it is to see one of the people I’ve been idolizing since 5thgrade so I’ll try to talk like a normal human being as much as possible, and hesmiles and says he’s happy I had a great time at my first AFI concert. Then Igave him this letter I wrote to the band and I tell him I didn’t want to makeit out to any specific person in the band because you’re all important. I tellhim how much I love AFI and that I don’t ever want him to feel like fans don’tappreciate him because the band wouldn’t be the same without all you guys. Andhe was like aww thanks. And he took a selfie with me and after I took it he waslike, “wait I didn’t see where to look, was I looking at the camera?” so I pullup the picture and he goes oh okay cool I did it right (what a nerd I lovehim). He also autographed this AFI postcard thing that I got with a pendant andThe Blood Album at Bestbuy. And then Jade comes out. And at this point I letsome guy borrow the sharpie I brought and I was scared that I wasn’t gonna haveit when Jade came up, but luckily he had his own (it was a gold sharpie aw). Ishake his hand and tell him how much I enjoyed the concert and how much Iappreciate him and the rest of the band and how it wouldn’t be the same withoutthem there. And he goes, “well you’re favorite band is kinda like yourchildren, you gotta love em all equally” and I’m like ha yea, I have sixsiblings tho.. and he’s like, “oh well siblings are a different thing, we allhave a favorite haha”. And then I told them that this was my first AFI show, buthopefully not my last unless you guys break up tomorrow. And he laughs andgoes, “well that is a possibility. Davey just made a really stinky sandwich, sothat might lead into something.” What a funny guy! We take a selfie and then Iask if he could also sign my card. Now this was pretty funny, when I handed himthe card he flipped it over, then he flipped it back over again and lookeda little confused. He goes, “I don’t recognize this at all, where did you getthis??” and I told him and he looks at my pendant and goes “wow you’re the onlyone here that I’ve seen wearing that, cool!” I just thought it was so funnythat he didn’t recognize that card at all. Then Davey came out and he waswearing that really cute black hood thing he’s been wearing a lot ininterviews, and as he walks by these two drunk girls scream demanding apicture. And he was nice about it and goes No pictures, but I’ll be out later.We waited like an hour and half after that and he was a no show, but honestly Ithink he was just drained (he may have came out after we left but I doubt it.)This concert was a real life changing experience. When I got home from theconcert my grandma started yelling at me and I realized; I accomplished one ofmy childhood dreams, so I’m not gonna put up with shit anymore. I feel like amore complete person. I feel like now I really only want to use my energy onthings that are important to me, and getting yelled at for no reason isn’t oneof them. And also since I wasn’t able to get a pic with Hunter or an autograph,and I wasn’t able to get an autograph from Davey (I don’t expect to get a picwith him since I’ve only seen like one pic of him and a fan on this tour) thisjust means I’ll have to go to another AFI concert! I can’t wait!

#afi #sorry it took me a while to sit down and type all this out #kuzzbuzz-fuzzbuzz

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