#like are they being fucking real w this one
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Imagine Catra coming to visit Glimmer everyday. At first, only one time a day - just because she had to, because that’s what Prime wanted.
But then, one time, when she was talking with prisoner, Glimmer’s expression changed. Her lips were slightly parted and Catra could swear that she saw sparkles in her eyes. What wouldn’t be that weird, because of what she read about the princess in documents about her, but it wasn’t that kind of sparkle. Just...
“You are smiling” Glimmer spoken and Catra raised her hand to her lips. She really was. She was smiling at some stupid joke that Glimmer said. But no, if she was being honest, it wasn’t exactly a joke as it was. But, talking with her, feeling some kind of freedom she has never felt before. That short visits let her relax for a moment. Her facial muscles began to relax and bring her natural, real, little smile.
“That’s a one, pretty smile. Well, for a Horde’s scum, that is” and Glimmer sent her a wink and Catra felt something. Something in her heart and then that sudden pain in her head. It was only for a moment, but it was there. For a moment, she felt so weird. Something like this never had happened before. It was as if.. as if she for a moment lost connection to Lorde Prime.
“What the fuck” she mumbled and when her eyes finally refocused, she realized that Glimmer’s expression changed again. And not just expression. She came closer to her, to the barrier, and was looking straight into her eyes.
Catra didn’t know what to do with that, so she did what she knows best. Being cocky.
“What. See something that you like, princess?” Urge to let her hand land on her hip was huge. But she was still. She couldn’t move too much, “her brothers” wouldn’t like that and she doesn’t need new problems with Prime.
“Yes. Frankly, yes there is.” She slowly raised her hand as if she was trying to touch Catra’s face. Which was, unfortunately, impossible through the barrier. Wait, “unfortunately”!? The fuck is wrong with me today. Catra took a step back.
“W-what?” Yes, very smug of her, but she wasn’t exactly familiar with physical touch. Not the nice one, at least.
“Just. Just, your eyes. For a moment, they were heterochromatic. One, yellow as sun on the Earth. And the other blue as sky. They reminded me of the Earth. It was nice.” Her smile was a little shy and Glimmer wasn’t sure why she said it, but she did, so she wasn’t going to run from it now.
Or maybe she will.
“Mhm, anyway, I’m going to nap. So. Yeah, that was nice. Interesting. Yeah. Bye, Horde Scum” and she went to lie down on her bed in prison, and after a moment Catra could only see her back.
This time, two things happened.
First, she was blushing. Her face and ears were warm, Catra could feel it.
And second, for a moment, she lost connection with Lord Prime again.
Something was happening to her.
And it was because Glimmer. Their new prisoner.
Maybe the idea of babysitting her wasn’t that stupid after all.
Read a fanfic where Catra was taken in by Horde Prime at young age and now I love this au. Just imagine one day Catra walks into Glimmers cell and for the first time Catra's eye colour is revealed for even just a split second but it what makes Glimmer realize being in the Horde was never a choice for the soldiers raised there
#spop#glitra#glimmer#catra#just read that fic and it was so good#love that idea#and yes i wrote something because aksddmadka#my brain just couldn't let that idea go#without some good glitra things#spop catra#spop glimmer#spop au#she ra and the princesses of power#glimmer x catra#catra x glimmer
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Full disclosure: I know fucking nothing about animal crossing. I've literally never touched it in my life. The extent of my knowledge is that there's that one cat character(?) who people are absolutely insane about and will charge real in person money to see. With that in mind:
obkk animal crossing shaped au where Obito moves to an island filled w human-animal people, run by its resident mayor, a funky wolf man named Kakashi
Obito living his best, small town life, surrounded by strange fluffy people ,,,
Actually having fun thinking ab just Obito being the only full human there, that's a fun mental image to me. He's actually totally weirded out by it but if he brings it up it goes something like,
"So uhh. Why do you have a tail?"
"Oh my god Obito you can't just ask someone why they have a tail"
Obito can no longer bring it up for fear of being animal people racist. Which is not a thing he knew existed, but.
The twist is that he could totally ask people and they'd probably answer juts fine but he made the mistake of asking Kakashi when Kurenai and Genma were around and all three of them were way too ready to fuck with him
Tanuki Genma,,,give it to me,,I wish to see him,,
Kakashi is a wolf man but actually that is a LIE and hes just a very big and fluffy dog guy who somehow got the reputation that he was actually a wolf and just kinda never disputed it, pass it on. He thinks its funny and will regularly make big bad wolf jokes n stuff but meanwhile hes like. A husky or smthn.
Obito realizes he's just a normal ass dog and gets weirdly butt hurt / disappointed about it. Turns out he is actually one of those half wolf dogs but now Obito is being stubborn and says he has "trust issues" and doesn't believe him anymore
Rin as Kakashi's mayoral assistant maybe? Then again, her working at the hospital is always fun tho.
Either or, I am trying to think of a good animal for her. Leaning towards smthn like a mongoose or a honey badger, small and cute looking but absolutely fucking insane and not to be approached under any circumstances because they can rip your fucking throat out
Gai is a bear, no further comments.
I really have no specific thoughts ab this other than it would be funny to me and I want to see normal human man Obito trying his best to live in a weird ass animal-people town.
I want mayor Kakashi to harass him daily and I want them to have a love hate relationship that largely involves them fucking with each other. I think it'd be neat.
#naruto#naruto au#birds fic talk#kakashi hatake#hatake kakashi#obito uchiha#uchiha obito#nohara rin#rin nohara#genma shiranui#shiranui genma#this was meant to be read as obkk bc I love obkk but it can be read as otherwise#obkk#kkob#obikaka#kakaobi#dogteeth kakashi#dog teeth kakashi
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My Wicked take was gonna be on how I don't like the demonisation of Elphaba & infantlisation of Glinda in fandom when the media is *literally* about that not being true but its basically what I've already said before.
Racialised/Black women are never given grace. For anything.
Glinda can take up over half the room Elphaba needs to sleep in but Elphaba wants her to wake up from the role she plays in her & the animals' oppression and she's selfish? Fuck yeah I support selfish Elphaba. Lord forbid the character u lot find undesirable has wants and needs. The extreme defensiveness of Glinda ignoring the broom is bc u lot ignore the broom all the time. U didn't wanna boycott McDonald's for Palestine. You don't wanna skip an iPhone release for DR Congo. You dont wanna skip a Dubai trip for Sudan. You're very much comfortable too.
People love the term 'moral purity' but they never ask what or who is considered pure or impure in the 1st place. You're more touchy bout the Elphabas bc you've been conditioned to look down on women like her. You're more defensive of the Glindas bc you're taught to be. I'm Not That Girl flying over peoples heads doesn't surprise me bc again, there's no concern for racialised/Black women's experiences. People are very much comfortable with a specific form of beauty and womanhood being the standard at Black/racialised women's expense.
And it's honestly jarring seeing sapphic fandom glorify the stigmatisation. I'm so tired the oppressed/racialised sapphic x privileged/white sapphic ships canon or not, bc its very clear u lot think Black and or darkskin sapphics only exist as your extensions & not real people:
Disagree w/ the homophobia towards Gelphie but I'm not shipping it. For the same reason I'll never ship rosemartha. Or Mia x Alison. Or Addy x Beth. Or Cinder x Emerald. Or Yaz x Harper. Or Uma x Mal.
I'm TIRED of the tokenisation of Black women, especially Black sapphics.
So idc I love having messy faves that happen to Black women. I love my aggressive, angry, jealous and "problematic" Black women bc if we dont defend them then who will? If we don't bring the nuance to their characters then who will? There's no one around to help 🤷🏾♀️
#elphaba thropp#glinda upland#galinda upland#wicked film#wicked#fandom misogynoir#misogynoir#black sapphic#black lesbian#sapphic community#sapphic representation#lesbian representation#black representation#morally grey characters#morally grey
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Kamen Rider Gavv ep 1 thoughts
Just going to watch one episode right now because I need to finish Kabuto and I need to Know what Kabuto has up its sleeve. But, the tl;dr of Gavv: Cute show, I can see how traumatized this poor kid will get by the end
Gavv ep 1
okay so I’m already reminded of W. Wonder if there will be a mentor figure that dies like Soukichi does in the first fucking five minutes of W
oh neat doors. I’ve seen Labyrinth too.
jfc how old is this kid he looks baby
yeet out of a plane and the tinkly “oh this is the world mom is from” music lmao
lbr considering the environment you just escaped from and the way you were happy to be freefalling because you were where your mom is from, I think needing some food is understating it.
"what do you have? Do you eat it?" has the same energy as my "what is gender? do you eat it?" joke
WHAT IS YOUR BODY MADE OF
Karakida I want your jacket. Give
Ah you have no communication skills. Understood
"This isn't a monster case" "So what is it?" "Woman fucking killed her own husband and shh keep your fucking voice down"
"today's harvest" and it looks like bloody organs. Hey I've seen 12 Hour Shift too.
oh you've never been allowed actual food have you
oh goddamn it I can hear Apollo aiming the dodgeball already
my dude. you got a tummy ache then gave birth to something. human women would kill for that to be their normal gestation cycle.
mm, cgi is kinda……………………
"hey now I've been fed actual food and have real energy I can make minions" yeah I mean that makes sense. People get all kinds of bodily processes back once they've been properly fed. Usually takes a while for their body to recover but hey you ain't human so I get it
this kid is so sweet and kind giving obvious main character (yeah I know it's shouma) a place to stay and some sweets to eat.
oh right the street drugs WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT HENTAI ASS THING
oh it's just a mouth. Wicked teeth.
Shouma is such a sweetheart
Also ye, I can see why Shouma is enchanted by sweets if his mom never let him have any of the family drugs.
excuse me I need to figure out a way to get into this world and beat down this addict before he hurts this kid
Shouma I would like a full rundown of what you can do because was that super speed and running perpendicular on a vertical surface? My dude? Answers?
Mm, sick monster design
Yeah, the monster and the kid both being like "hey what the fuck" to Shouma is fucking hilarious.
oh fucking ow
your mom turned into a bloody organ thing. Are we sure this isn't just a horror movie?
I feel like these minion things showing up saying "eat gummy!" shouldn't feel as threatening as they do.
OH GOD THE CRYING EYES. I'M HOWLING
"oh with the other one" lmao
I wonder what this show is like on edibles because the bright colours are fun and I had a blast watching Ex-Aid baked. Tho I'd consider that a little too on the nose considering the street drug metaphor of those dark candies
little dudes go somewhere safe that isn't under the fighting feet!
oh interesting so if he gets a lot of battle damage he can repair it by using another minion. Very neat. Wish more "battle damage" was repairable that easily. Looking at you, 3rd Birthday.
oh calling both of them monsters and Shouma just taking it is heartbreaking.
I'm definitely feeling the difference between Takaiwa and whoever the suit actor for Gavv is, but it's more "huh, that's a different way of doing the stunts" than anything bad. I do miss Takaiwa but that's mostly because he's a fucking legend. This guy's doing great, tho.
did… they repurpose the build driver for this?
takaiwa usually stood upright, even for meek characters like Ryotaro, while it seems like this guy's default stance is hunched over. iiiiiiiiiiiiiinteresting. Says a lot about Shouma in this form
okay I was about to say this Rider Kick is lame, but nah, it's pretty good.
Shouma you are sunshine and joy wrapped in ptsd. That's not even a joke I know you're fucking riddled with ptsd from just your memories of your mother alone
Shouma you are not Eiji stop being a hobo
Cute show.
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i've spent my morning going insane over all the new pics hbu
#hands are twitching i'm genuinely tweaking#like are they being fucking real w this one#what am i supposed to do with this#be normal?????#trying to be normal in the caption the tags are for unhinged behaviour#i have not even begun to process all the content#i have so so many thoughts#namely smth my friend and i were discussing that involved table sex but it's fine dw#a new doc IS opened tho#buck x bucky#buckbucky#johnslittlespoon yaps
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balor 🥰
#fields of mistria#fom#balor#fanart#art#sir...im so in love w you...#if anyone else like me loved the fuck out of stardew but was disappointed in the romance options...please play this game#the characters/interactions/dialouge is top notch#i knew nothing about this game i found out about it 2 days before release#i thought i was gonna go for march#and immedately met this guy and just#his first line is like (im a traveling merchant) and i went (oh no)#i have such a THING for merchant characters#i can finally live out my dream of romancing volo pkmn#sort of#except not evil#i think#love that the romance options in this game are like... adults with jobs/dreams/aspirations#unlike stardew where everyone is supposedly an adult but is like a teenager??#but in this game everyone is a contributing member of society#love that <3333#the dialouge for real is amazing#anyway. it still in uhh...early access? so you cant do everything youll be able to do one day#but thats good for me bc i tend to blast through these games and do 90% of things within a week#fanart???? from my ass???#only because i love this game and him#im so fucked up for him#not me tracking his ass down everyday to talk to him#also what i love about this game is being able to talk to everyone multiple times a day#like every hour or something
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tabs w tabs under tabs.
Platonic connections do get shafted very badly by the narrative, huh? Arguably the Grayson family dynamic does get a decent spotlight, but Debbie is pretty significantly changed from her role in the comic, so her relationship with Mark is new to the adaption as well as her overall dynamic with Noaln.
Y'know, I didn't even think about the 'no choice/expectation' angle of the relationship? Like, Mark spends his whole life thinking he's gunna be a Hero Like Dad, and in his personal life suddenly he's got Girl Who Likes You For Sure So You Better Date Her. Like. Where is your choice in the matter. Half tempted to do a 'he and Amber work shit out or at the very least he shelves Eve's interest in him and just does literally anything else' fic bc of what he knows. Like yeah bud, it's okay to do something that isn't predetermined.
Screw going on a date, just hit up taco tuesday with Kate and talk about being a civilian vs being a hero.
A hero's sense of bodily autonomy must be seriously borked in Invincible universe, since most of them ARE lab experiments. And Rex definitely seems like the kind of person who wouldn't let things go that easily. Why wouldn't he be mercilessly weird about? Why wouldn't his fucked up feelings about it spill out over onto Amanda? Like, hey, if you date him, at least you'll know when he gets older he'll look like this. if you suck my dick it's the same dick so it doesn't count as cheating : ) Like. That would could AND SHOULD lbr get real fucking weird with how he acts around him. Or am I supposed to go with him having one outburst before just going 'I'm okay actually (internally screaming)'. But yeah, why AREN'T every member of GoG now worried about what he'd do to them without their consent/knowing? Did the GDA figure out it was Robot who let the Mauler Twins out in the first place? I mean he knew where they were and arrested them once he got what he wanted, and there ain't no way they aren't talking about who they worked for? Ain't no way ppl don't realize it was them who helped Rudy out, right ?? Right? ??
Imagine Debbie having to sit Mark down like 'I know you're a hero but I can't have you freeloading on me when I'm 70. Please get a job that actually pays you'. What's the living at home still culture of heroes? For the non-indestructible ones, how do they cover all those damn medical bills? Does Art run a special payment plan on suits?? how much do those indestructible suits cost?? why isn't he outfitting the fire department ?? does he ?? I do love the throwaway line that implies he also outfits anti-heroes/villains tho. Like. I'm neutral. I just make clothes. bruh. Darkwing fought some of your clients ?? bc he was willing to go after other heroes or bc they were doing crime ?? Art explain.
Mark seeking a mentor/refusing mentorship after his dad would have been neat. I saw someone say he and Immortal had a parental thing and I just squinted at my screen like ??? where ??? where do you see that ??
Also, I will laugh and laugh and laugh forever about the show giving me just enough rope to hang the entire Levy incident on Immortal lol Like, bro really went to stalk a recently injured TEENAGER to yell at him rather than do his job scouting the ruins of a fight HIS TEAM should have been at to begin with, and BOTH survivors of the blast got away to wreak more havoc. You suck bro.
It's like, I get it to some degree, the greater global stuff isn't what the narrative is focusing on - this is adapted from a 20 year old comic- but like you're changing mediums! You're tweaking the story ! Give us a throwaway line about how this world operates! One pissy comment from someone about Cecil/the GDA being the real shadow government, borders melted long ago ! Yet, the one line we kind of get about stuff, is Bulletproof calling out Cecil for only being interested in saving white Americans! And it's like. if that comment wasn't total snark, does that mean Cecil IS hoarding very important global resources to protect a small population? How many other organizations are trying to do the same? Does he just have the monopoly on power right now because he got control of GoG? Also still baffled that Immortal cared so much to yell at Shapesmith about AMERICANS getting left behind on Mars and not just, y'know, HUMANS. Why was that an important factor in the anger Immortal. Why.
Are there incentives to try and get superheroes to have kids in your country?? Recruiters?? We'll pay your bills if you keep us alive and ONLY us? Live here for free, but you work for us kind of shit. Has to be.
Debbie being so chill with Mark going into space bc as a toddler the damn GoG where taking him around the planet doing insane shit with him in the back seat lol There had to have been some Incident with Cecil. Girl you just yelled at a man taking medical care of your comatose husband. 'You have some nerve' she yells at Cecil the moment he shows his face. SOME NERVE? About what? What happened between you two????
Like I'd love to poke more at her sense of physical danger in the hero world. I lover her ambivalence about the destruction of the white house, and Nolan going into alien portals being Tuesday, like- does she have a weird bubble in her brain that bad things happen To Other People? Arguably she had a bit of one for Nolan that burst when he was in the coma, but how much does that extend to what she thinks could physically happen to her? I do love how willing she is to full on confront Nolan about stuff and part of my brain just wants to be like 'that's a sign of a healthy relationship, being able to bring up your concerns w your partner' and the other half of my brain is just like 'Debbie isn't the least bit hesitant about confronting a massive brick shit house of a guy ?? does she just have no sense of personal danger ?? what was her upbringing ???' or am I suppose to conclude that in a superhero world where crazy shit happens all the time People Are Just Like That, bc yeah, you could die in an alien swarm invasion so why hold back talking to the people who could physically hurt you ! There's men running around with canons welded to their arms ! you got nothing to lose !
While I'm not too familiar with the DCU- your batfam meta posts are intiguing- so in transfering some of the broader strokes from them- I think you tackling a 'Mark isn't Nolan's biological son' fic would be fascinating. Sort of a step to the side of the 'what if Mark never got his powers' fic that sometimes pop up in the fandom
OOOOOO chewing on this currently, hm, the much a distinct flavor of exactly what you’re talking about, but the potential for more family drama depending on WHO knows. Does Mark know?? Is he waiting every day only to be crushed? Does he confused non-Debbie features with Nolan’s? I suppose I’m not the most enthusiastic about non-power AUs, but I think there’s something very fun to explore about Mark having to settle with, if he knows all his life, he will never have powers? I think the trajectory of his dreams will obviously shift, I can see him still having that distinct fatherly idolization, but perhaps embraces being useful to the GDA? Cecil’s number one intern—only intern—curtesy of nepotism, ha! There is something tickling me about Mark taking the Robin Route/Role for the Teen Team in terms of having no powers, just insane skills, BUT there’s something way more delicious about intern Mark when s1e01 happens and Mark tries snooping around to find out the truth about what happened to his Dad.
I wonder if, with Mark having a whole another father, if they’re more or less distant relationship, depending on WHEN Nolan entered Mark’s life? Like if Debbie met Nolan later for this, or just for fun, they dated once, separated (Mark being born during then), then they happened to stumble into each others lives again and Mark’s already been born, anywhere from tween to teenager so there’s a gap in how close they are. I feel like one important aspect of the whole Family Drama is how close they’re supposed to be, a functional, loving family turned upside down? So I wonder what more distance does. I wonder how Nolan copes when his family is entirely human and he can’t project onto Mark.
I love thinking about these, omg.
#invincible chatter#tbh eventually we're going to fall into the AND ANOTHER THING#in the tags too I feel like where even more meta commentary is going to take place down here#the threads are STILL multiplying
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a redraw of the first drawing i posted here to celebrate the fact that ive been in tumblr for more than a whole year posting my shit and havent deleted my blog in panic yippee \:D/ (mushy rant in tags)
#i realised too late that it has been more than a fuking year (august 9)#and for context: ive had 3 different intagram art accounts and i deleted all 3 of them a few months before creating them. anxiety amiright#here it has been so different bc people are so nice??? it has been a pretty plesant experience here w all of u really#im so glad to have found myself in such a wonderful part of the fandom and amazing mutuals that i never talk to bc im shit w texting#the atention has been overwhelming ngl. i have over 2000 followers which. holy fuck???#it doesnt feel like a real number and for my own sake im nnot gonna treat it as one#like i apreciate the support and ppl liking what i do but im not here to make number go big yk? im here to connect w other humans#and yall have been amazing humans ^^ thank u for all the wonderful tags and comments and the support overall#it has been so cool sharing my art and finding other artist whom i respect oh so very much. some of them even follow me back wtf#i hope to continue being here for as long as i can and keep growing as an artist and sharing that process with other without fear#also my amy redesign actually goes so hard idk why i forgot about it nxnfbcncb#sth#sonic fanart#sonic#amy rose#nov.aart#nov.junk
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jaime turning women down constantly more bc he is very monogamous and in love with someone else right now for the first time and is also kinda scared of actually having sex with someone other than cersei is sm better to me than “i respect the kg vows of chastity so intensely rn actually because i changed into a good and serious person” or whatever lol
#i truly dgaf about that bffr jaime dude#like its a stupid vow that says nothing about u as a person lmfao#him in the bath with pia thinking of brienne like u r not fooling anybody honestly#like i truly do think its more copium and not being honest with himself tbfh#like he had a rationalization when pia came into his bed in asos too but then it was purely ‘i only love cers i would never’#and with cat it was so funny when he bluffing and was like uh i cant marry bc of my vows but i could still service u😉😉#he would have pissed himself if he was called on that bluff but only bc he would be cheating on cers and have sex with another woman#man that fucked his twins in a sept next to his sons dead body the moment he returned caring about chastity vows#his development isnt really about keeping every vow ever when most of it is fraudery anyway#like pls he is not keeping his vow to his king rn really 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#i think the vows and respecting them has a deeper meaning thats the whole point which ones do u keep and prioritize and why#like weve been thru this 80x being a real vowhead is not what makes u a good person 😭#deleting ur individuality and personal life to be an honorpillhead lol#the vow to cat has meaning the elite bodyguard vow to never fuck has zero meaning 😭#he was ready to break the no marriage vow w cers pls#im not saying this bc of a shipper endgame in mind i find volcel jaime hilarious its just i dont like it as proof of his development#like ill be real guys sex positive warrior gurm is not pushing the idea that keeping ur chastity vows is what honor is about#like i get that he wants to be better and he is figuring out what that really means but
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why is it that there's over 6000 fics in the timkon tag (and around 700 in the trans tim tag) and yet as far as i can tell, literally NO ONE has written any fics about trans tim topping kon (either with a strap or phalloplasty). what the hell is that all about, huh?
#rimi talks#i mean i know what its about and its transphobia bc everyone assumes trans guy = bottom (i.e. girl but without being a girl)#(we dont want straight ships uwu we need yaoi we dont like women. but we do need to reinvent heterosexual tropes)#like. be fucking serious#6000 fics and no one is writing tim w the strap. get REAL#nsft text
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Me if DFO isn't canon
#LOOK IM RAMBLING A LOT ABOUT THIS ONLINE AND IN REAL LIFE I LOOK LIKE A CRAZY PERSON#spoilers#bnha#mha#all for one#afo#dfo#dad for one#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#with how much attention is being given to the DFO theory and then Horikoshi decides that Hisashi is just Some Guy™....#....... (relics of a past time before the reveal ig)#if dfo is real maybe can we get some backstory with inko or something?#like a shojo-manga 3 chapters and its just afo fucking w/ inko stringing her along the whole time and then going “PEACE” once izuku is born#if dfo isnt canon then. then what. what about all these points and thoughts everyones come up with?#tis i boo boo the fool#what if horikoshi never elaborates on midoriyas dad and the fanon is so strong that others genuinely think its real canon after the fact?#“yeah no Hisashi is just some guy i made for Izuku's checkup to say hes Quirkless” NOOOOO WAITTTTTT#(someone mightve made this meme already?)#(i dunno)
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i just had a dream after leaking the woy pilot they also leaked the unused woy s3 trailer that was supposed to have been released in 2023 n it was made fully in 3d n the only thing i remember from it is that peepers got a watchdog gf
#how tf did i dream that up#this is literally like the “i hope dr fans get one last game where komaeda marries a woman”#n it was like for real for real#they had a scene w romantic music playing n stuff#oh n i remember there being a discussion on tumblr abt whether female watchdogs have pink eyelids#but no they dont its cuz she was blushing#oh n i remember ppl on tumblr rlly liked her#ik myla rlly liked her for some reason#realistically if that happened nobody would be so chill abt it#oh n she didnt get a single line of dialogue in thay scene so i remember starting to hc her as nonverbal#this probably sounds so fucked up but it made sense in my dream#pbj
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#having a real one#why. the hell. would one school 2 states away give me a 13k grant for being smart. but the one an hour away. wants me to pay them 13k#after grants.#i would like. to know#i just. i hate it here#she speaks#i dont want to move two states away. thats horrifying. im a wheelchair user. like. are you insane#but. it would be a free ride and id probably get to live w my childhood best friend#but also. id have to apply for state insurance again and id be stranded away from my parents and have to find a real caretaker there#id be away from all my doctors appointments and My Bed and it feels like no one appreciates how fucking risky and scary it would be#greatest hits
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I haven’t posted art in forever, (I am currently working on art tho!! It’s just taking me a bit cuz.. job..) but! But… what about if instead of the art u guys came here for. I instead posted pictures of the cool lil outfits I’ve been wearing recently that im rlly proud of… what about that???
#part of the issue w art is also for some reason. FOR REAL. the default shit I want to draw is just ME. IN MY VARIOUS CUTE LIL OUTFITS#I’ve become a narcissist… a fashion obsessed narcissist.. i just want everyone to see and admire my cool fits…#I struggle. so much more drawing shit that is not me nowadays. and I have so much less free time#but then I don’t FINISH the pics of me cuz I’m like ‘this is too self indulgent!!! stop!! draw fanart!!#like a normal person!!! ghgh-‘#ur rlly gonna come back from an art hiatus w just a bunch of silly pics of u being cute… get a fucking grip..#uhhh.. but anyway lol#I am still drawing. I’m currently working on some expiremental lineless digital art#cuz I felt shaking stuff up might help#we shall see if I finish it tho!#it me#pepper words#anyway look at my fits#my one. 2 curses r in bad at taking pictures#and I live in a dingy basement so the lighting fucking SUCKS#u cannot see all the detail…. u cannot make out All of my lil accessories#it’s sad…#all these outfits r very black and white i do in fact wear colors… mostly red. n green#but I am rlly In my aristocratic vampire / witch era right now… and I’m loving it…#middle 2 pics r the same outfit. just w and without cloak lol#also pls do me a kindness and ignore my messy ass room#lady outfit is actually my most recent and my room HAS gotten less messy! I cleaned it up!#but it’s still kinda. got some clutter lol#*last outfit. not lady outfit ghghg- these r gender neutral femme leaning outfits I’ll have u kno typo!!#also pls ignore the shit on my mirror!! the lil white speckles and stuff! I rlly gotta fucking clean that.. if I wanna keep taking cute#pictures of my outfits lol… I mean. it’s not MY mirror so I don’t think to clean it.. but it is in my living space…#mayhaps… I should clean it lol
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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can ppl in this fandom like... stop... implying that transmasculinity in hcs or (especially) canon is shallow or misogynistic or even transmisogynistic on princible, like literally just by being prescent in someones mind or in the text. like that doesnt fuckin feel good. thats kind of really nasty to imply. if its not okay to say about other trans experiences, maybe dont say it about this one either. why is there a weird little exception here. yall KNOW how much that sucks to hear all day every day. what the fuck
#my t#idk how to tell the hs fandom that every piece of trans coding in roxy in hs1 can be read as transmasc too. like transfem and transmasc#at the same time from the EXACT same reasons. its almost like we all share experiences just by way of being trans. weird i know#its almost like being trans rlly truly highlights what it is to be human and how we are all in fact at the end of the day human together#i just want everyone to stop trying to 'poke holes' in other fans trans hcs FULL STOP across the board no matter who they are#or what the hc is. its needlessly hurtful and more often than not trips into real peoples dysphoria which then#makes the target more likely to lash out. so the person poking them abt it can do a ''SEE? THEYRE ALL MEAN ONE OF THEM#WAS MEAN TO ME JUST NOW'' routine. its so obviously a 'im not touching u!!!' playground maneuver like holy fuck grow up#if you wanna fight for transfem/me folks right to just exist random fans personal headcanons is not the fuckin time or place#the XY in roxys name could be read as her having been DMAB or it could be hussie having a long running giggle about him preordering#his own transmasculinity. roxys colour being pink could be bc shes a girl or it could be compcis!!!#roxys desperation for a bf is from loneliness in canon but its often read as her feeling like she needs one to be a real girl#it can ALSO be read as another aspect of him struggling with compcis and comphet esp w/ his fantasies abt being 'a mother'#yknow what i never fuckin see that rlly highlights the fact that this is just a shitty 'girls rule boys drool' thing? theres like. no#discussions on the potential of roxy being any kinda intersex. absolutely none. he could be mtftm for all you fuckin know#but oh yknow being mtftm is A Shallow Read so we cant have that. hs is only for girls didnt you know we need to terf- i mean turf#out every single instance of queer mascness bc its Evil in the text didnt you know#god help the fandoms word of god token trans boy dirk strider for 'choosing' his eternal misery while everyone else is enlightened#by way of transforming into a girl. bc we must place girlhood on an inhuman pedistal of perfection and niceness and joy and rainbows#like what IS this mahou shojo brand gender essentialism???? im fuckin sick of it#can we remember that girlhood isnt & wasnt safe or joyful for everyone & that that can translate into how we curate our fandom experiences
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