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writtenwhalien · 6 months ago

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jump then fall (into you) | part 2

banner by the talented @jimilter 💖

pairing ↠ jungkook x reader

genre ↠ cruise AU, fake dating AU, best friends to lovers AU | fluff, angst, smut

word count ↠ 52k (pt 2. 14k)

18+ | warnings ↠ swearing, drinking, sexual content: foreplay, oral m. and f., protected sex etc.

summary ↠ bringing Jungkook along as your date to your ex’s lavish cruise wedding seemed like a perfect idea at first — all of your family and close friends together, nothing can go wrong… then Jungkook’s ex shows up and all of a sudden you’re in a years long relationship with him. You don’t mind though, really, how hard can sharing a cabin and pretending to be deeply in love with your best friend really be?

note. i hope you're enjoying! ☺️ don't forget to interact please + here's a few songs that inspired me and this story (more at the end too!): photograph — ed sheeran i think i fell in love today — kelsea bellerini where are you now — lost frequencies & calum scott 3:15 (breathe) — russ words — alesso & zara larsson jump then fall �� taylor swift

part 2

🍉 note. while I have your attention, I would like to divert it to those in palestine as israel commits war crimes against them. Innocent men, women and children are being tortured, degraded, displaced and murdered endlessly — it is a genocide and we are all complicit if we do nothing.

as a minimum, please donate to legitimate organisations + boycott the big 3 — starbucks, disney and mcdonald’s — as well as others. feel free to message me for more information and/or donation links, thank you <3 🇵🇸

You know what he wants you to say, but as you feel his fingers around yo, all you can think of is how wrong they feel — they’re not as long as the ones you’re most familiar with, not as calloused on the palms or soft from the back. Every moment with Jungkook from the past few weeks buzzes through your mind and it all starts to make sense – you’ve always known Jungkook makes you happy but you never thought about why…

Looking up at Lawrence, you nod slowly. “Yes,” you say, softening the words in the hopes it softens the blow.

It’s a quiet confession, not only because you’re pretending to date Jungkook, but because now you’re no longer sure if your heart is open to anyone else besides him.

Lawrence smiles, releasing a small breath he’d been holding. “I had to ask,” he chuckles.

You’re sure his cheeks are turning pink but with the dim lighting, you can’t be sure.

Lips pursing, you nod.

There’s another moment of hesitation from him, then he kisses your cheek once before stepping back.

“I’m glad I asked though, I’d probably regret it forever if I didn’t,” he adds, eyes gleaming as they look over your face.

You manage to smile despite feeling bad and a little awkward now — it’s not every day someone confesses to your face like this. “It’s okay, I get it.”

Just while your mind races to find an excuse to leave now, Lawrence’s gaze shifts to behind your shoulder and his eyes suddenly widen, face going somewhat pale. You turn around, eyes following his line of sight and when you see who’s standing there, you’re sure your expression mirrors Lawrence’s.

Jungkook and Alias stand more than a few feet away by the staircase towards the upper decks, but it’s not hard to see their expressions from here.

Alias purses his lips and looks at Jungkook before he shifts his weight awkwardly. But it’s Jungkook you’re focused on. His expression is blank and he just stares at Lawrence and you.

How long has he been standing there? Why isn’t he doing anything? And why do you only now realise how close you and Lawrence are still standing while holding hands too?

You let go, stepping back abruptly too but you know it doesn’t make a difference.

Jungkook's lips curl into a curt yet polite smile before he turns and disappears around the corner.

What the hell is happening?

Jungkook and you aren’t even dating for real for this to be a problem so why on earth does it feel like you’ve actually done something so wrong?

The guilty feeling in your chest grows as you stand still, still looking upon where he was.

“I’m so sorry,” Lawrence apologises immediately. “I can go talk to him, it was all my fault.”

“No it’s fine,” you shake your head, managing a smile. “I should talk to him, don’t worry.”

He nods and you walk away before he can say anything else.

“Walk with me?” you say as you approach Alias.

He nods, falling into stride beside you. “What was that about?” he asks, nodding back in the direction of Lawrence.

“Um, he told me he likes me, or at least did,” you wince.

“Ah, that explains it.”

You shoot him a look. “That explains what?”

Alias hesitates. “Well, he looked like he was about to kiss you.”

Oh gosh. “But he wasn’t!” you exclaim in a hushed whisper. “I wouldn’t do that!”

“I know!” Alias exclaims too, “But it still didn’t look good. I’m assuming that’s why Jungkook just left.”

“You think he’s upset by it?”

“Well what else could it be?”

Sighing, you slow down.

Alias looks at you confused. “What’s wrong?”

“What am I doing?” you ask rhetorically, thinking out loud.

Raising his brows, Alias points down the corridor. “Finding your boyfriend to explain what’s happening?” he says almost sarcastically.

“But that’s just it, he’s not actually my boyfriend so why did he walk off? And why do I feel bad about it?” You feel like you sound a bit helpless but at this moment you don’t actually care, at least not with Alias.

It’s confusing — first you find yourself having all these weird moments with Jungkook, then Lawrence tells you he likes you only for you to realise that maybe you actually do like Jungkook, and now Jungkook walking off like this…

Could he actually be upset by this?

Alias’s expression softens and he places his hands on your shoulders, squeezing gently. “I think you know why.”

You frown, lips pouting. “What are you trying to say?”

He chuckles, pulling you in for a hug. “I’m not saying anything. You’re figuring this out on your own.” He pulls back and takes your arm in his as he walks slowly down the corridor again. “Now, what are you going to say to Jungkook?”

His question is met with silence, but he doesn’t push any further as you take the time to think.

You’re well aware of what Alias is trying to say to you but there’s a part of you that doesn’t want to acknowledge it — more like you don’t know how to acknowledge it.

Maybe you do like him? Or maybe you’re just confused? It could definitely just be lust, or even just loneliness as it has been a long time since you’ve last been with anyone. Or maybe all the pretending has gotten to your head? — that’s definitely a plausible reason for the way you’re feeling.

Although, it really doesn’t feel like it. There’s a reason pretending to date Jungkook comes so easily to you. Being with him is natural to you because you’ve always felt like you belong together; now you realise you’ve been feeling that romantically not just platonically. Having been so close to him for so many years has created a safety blanket around you, one that you can’t imagine living without and most definitely can’t ever replace. Even the thought of coming on this trip without him felt so wrong. There must be a reason why it doesn’t feel surprising to you that at some point, your feelings crossed the line from friends to something more.

“I don’t know,” you groan quietly. “This is so weird, what does someone say in this situation?”

Alias actually takes a moment to consider this. “Actually,” he starts, pulling on your arm to stop walking. “You need to be sure of how you feel before you say anything.”

He’s right.

“Take some time,” Alias says. “Maybe just address what happened with Lawrence for now?”

You nod. “Okay, I’ll just tell him what happened.”

“Yeah, do that,” Alias nods too. He looks down the corridor but makes no move to walk any further with you.

Your cabin is only a few doors away so you hug him goodbye, and after he wishes you good luck, you make your way towards it.

Clearing your mind, you focus on the simple goal for now. Just let Jungkook know that there’s nothing between Lawrence and you — what he saw isn’t what it looked like.

Tapping into your room, you feel your heart race a little faster as your nerves rise. Jungkook isn’t anywhere in the cabin but you can hear water running in the bathroom.

Taking a deep breath, you mentally scold yourself to get it together. Some of your clothes from earlier in the day are still scattered on the bed so you decide to at least clear these away while you wait.

It isn’t long until you hear the lock clicking and Jungkook walks out of the bathroom.

You look up to see him patting his face dry with a towel. He’s already dressed for bed and you note that he’s wearing a top this time.

When he sees you, his face shows no surprise or even much emotion at all. He simply nods and averts his gaze almost immediately. “Hey,” he says, tossing the towel into the laundry basket.

“Hey,” you respond quietly while keeping your eyes on him.

He walks over to the bed and starts picking up some of his own mess. If the situation were any different, you wouldn’t really think anything was wrong by the way Jungkook is acting. But you know Jungkook.

For starters, he never folds his clothes neatly before putting them away. He usually just roughly puts them together and hides them away somewhere, yet here he is, laying out a shirt and folding the sleeves with much focus.

“Um, Jungkook…?”

He looks up immediately. “Yeah?” There’s no irritation or anger or anything else in his expression. Just the usual concern you’re used to seeing on his face whenever you call him.

“Are you okay?” you ask, feeling stupid as soon as you ask it.

“Yeah, of course,” he answers, shrugging as he resumes folding his clothes. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Good.”

Turning away to put your clothes in the drawer, you frown to yourself. You know he knows why you’re asking — him walking off like that wasn’t normal and now him acting like nothing’s happened…

“So,” he says, clearing his throat. “You and Lawrence…”

There it is. You turn to face him again. He’s still looking down as he folds his clothes but you don’t need to see his face to know he’s not looking forward to the answer.

“You like each other?” His voice is steady but you can hear the quiet reservations that come with it.

“No,” you answer immediately.

He pauses for a second and you expect him to say something, but he doesn’t. He only nods and carries on putting his clothes away.

You tell him everything. “We bumped into each other during the game because I was kind of confused about where to go after me and you split up. We just started talking and it came up that I used to have a crush on him way back in high school, and as we spoke…” you watch Jungkook carefully, still unable to see his face as he stays looking down, “… he just ended up telling me how he used to have a crush on me when we were growing up and it apparently never really went away.”

It’s now that Jungkook finally looks up. He has a small smile on his face — not a smirk, not anything to show you it’s anything other than a genuine smile despite it not being his usual smile that meets his eyes.

“So Lawrence likes you then.” He says it more surely, as though he’s just reaffirming a fact rather than asking a question.

You hesitate. “Well, yes, he does but he knows I don’t like him.”

As his smile fades a little, Jungkook raises a brow. “Are you sure?”

“Positive,” you say, feeling something heavy begin to weigh down your chest.

Jungkook considers this. His gaze is steady as he looks at you from across the room, looking for any clue that might suggest otherwise to him.

The longer he stares, the more you feel the weight on your chest. You don’t like this — you don’t like that Jungkook could even think for a minute that you like anyone else. Since high school, you haven’t had any real feelings for anyone and as Lawrence made you realise, it’s all because of Jungkook.

“Jungkook?” your voice comes out coarse and quiet.

He looks away, jaw shifting as he now chooses to roughly fold his clothes together. Then —

“I think we should stop the whole dating thing, it was my fault so I’ll tell whoever I need to tomorrow.” He says it clearly and decisively. “I don’t wanna hold you back, you should give Lawrence a chance.”

With a scoff, your brows knit together and you frown at him. “I just told you, I don’t like him.”

“He was your high school crush for years, you’ve always wanted this.”

He says it so nonchalantly now and it makes you angry because you know just moments ago he was upset because of this. Sure, he didn’t say anything, but Jungkook is your best friend and you know him more than anyone else.

“Well not anymore!” you blurt. “Why don’t you believe me?”

Jungkook looks at you and immediately you can recognise the small signs of him feeling hurt but he does well to disguise it as best as he can. “I saw how you looked at him that night, Y/N. It was pretty clear how smitten you were, anyone could see it.”

Immediately, you’re confused. “What are you talking about?”

“Cartagena,” he responds, almost despondent. “You came out of the venue together and it was clear from your face that you were over the moon to have him there.”

Now you remember… and devastatingly enough, you realise Jungkook isn’t wrong. You remember how you felt when you initially bumped into him — it was a childish kind of excitement when seeing your crush but that’s all it was. Seeing him just brought back memories and that small part of you came out because it had been so long but since then you know there’s been nothing.

Jungkook, however, wouldn’t know that. You realise that you must’ve looked how he’s describing and gosh, you can’t even imagine how you’d feel if the roles were reversed.

Before you can ever try to find the words to explain how you feel, a knock sounds at the door.

Jungkook is the one who answers it since you’re still too caught up in your thoughts.

You even remember how you’d stupidly been flirting with him right in front of Jungkook, you pretty much called him ‘tall, handsome and mysterious’ when you were supposed to be “dating” Jungkook–

“Lawrence.”

You turn immediately at the sound of Jungkook’s voice. Sure enough, Lawrence is standing there in the doorway looking exactly as he was when you left him.

“Uh, hey,” he says, nodding awkwardly as he glances between Jungkook and you.

You just stare at him blankly. This really doesn’t help you right now.

“Hey,” Jungkook says with a smile, resorting to his usual politeness. “What’s up?”

Lawrence hesitates, still glancing between you both. “Sorry, I was thinking about whether or not I should come but I figured the sooner the better… uh…” he looks down, clearly feeling bad. “I just had to apologise, I told Y/N about how I felt and that was inappropriate and stupid of me when she’s with y—“

“We’re not together.”

Lawrence looks up and at the same time, your eyes snap to Jungkook.

If you thought him saying that was harsh, the blank way in which he says it hurts even more.

“We never were,” Jungkook says. “Y/N just agreed to help me out by pretending to be my girlfriend because my ex is on this trip.”

Lawrence’s face changes from confusion to surprise to realisation within a few seconds. But you’re not looking at him.

Your focus is solely on Jungkook. You can’t clearly describe what emotions you’re feeling. There’s a bit of everything — it hurts, that’s for sure, but you’re also angry at him for so rashly telling Lawrence and you can’t help but feel betrayed.

Pretending to date Jungkook has been nothing but easy for you and these past few days have taught you it’s because there’s probably a huge part of you that wants this. For Jungkook to just end it so suddenly makes you feel like he doesn’t want you the same way you want him.

You wonder if it’s naive to think he wants you back, but you do. Alex has told you countless times, heck all the Cirillo siblings have made a remark or something about Jungkook and you at least once every time you’ve met. Even Lawrence has seen it apparently. Though, none of this necessarily means it’s true.

With the silence in the room, Jungkook looks at you. He holds little emotion in his face but the way his lips are pursed tightly tells you he’s holding back something.

“Uh,” Lawrence glances between you both, “I’m gonna go. Sorry again for everything,” he adds in a mutter. He closes the door as he leaves and you’re left alone with Jungkook.

“Why would you do that?” you ask as soon as the door clicks.

“Because he likes you. I’m not gonna stand in the way of that.”

Your expression falters. Fuck, it’s been a long time since you last wanted to cry but you’ll be damned if you let him see you. Steeling yourself, your jaw clenches.

Despite your best efforts, of course, Jungkook still notices. His own steely expression softens and he almost says something but then stops. For a second, you think he might apologise and even tell you something you want to hear. But he doesn’t.

“What am I supposed to do?” Jungkook asks softly.

There’s a hundred other things he could do but he chose this — even after you’ve told him how you feel about Lawrence.

“Fine,” you flare. “Tell everyone.” Without another glance at him, you walk past him to the bathroom and slam the door shut.

It’s only after a quick shower and some much needed TLC, that you come out of the bathroom.

Truthfully, you didn’t expect Jungkook to still be in the cabin, but it doesn’t make the feeling in your chest go away when you see he’s not there.

There’s so many questions going round and round in your head that it hurts. You trudge across the room, slipping into the bed and finding solace with the comfort of your silk sheets that still smell of Jungkook.

Everything Alex said to you at the start of this trip keeps replaying in your mind — you want it to be true, and sure most of the time it feels true too. But with the way this past hour has gone, you can’t help but doubt it.

If Jungkook really liked you, he wouldn’t have told Lawrence the truth, would he? It doesn’t make sense, why would he? He should’ve wanted to have kept it up the same way you do. Pretending to date Jungkook is as close as you’re getting to the real thing and that’s something that you’re sure that you want.

Now though, you don’t even have that.

It’s not exactly something you can blame Jungkook for. There was no reason for him to keep it up, especially if you haven’t told him why you want to.

Maybe you should tell him now though?

No. That’s too scary. Sure, you want him to know, but the idea of him not feeling the same way is way worse than anything else. Plus, what if he starts to feel uncomfortable around you, you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if he felt that way.

Releasing a heavy sigh, you sink further into the bed and close your eyes.

You shouldn’t say or do anything else until things go back to normal. That’s the best thing to do.

With your mind made up, you try to fall asleep but it proves to be more difficult than normal. With every minute that passes, you wonder where Jungkook is and what he’s doing. It’s only been 15 minutes but you’re already deciding whether or not you should message him.

It’s always been like this with Jungkook — your arguments never usually last longer than a day and most times you settle them straight away.

This feels different.

The sound of the door clicking open simultaneously relaxes you and raises your heart rate.

As Jungkook makes his way across the room, your heart decides to do all kinds of acrobatics. Inwardly, you curse at yourself for not realising your feelings sooner.

You can hear the sound of his shirt being pulled off as he changes into his pyjamas. A moment later, he’s carefully moving the covers back on his side of the bed as he gets in slowly so as not to wake you.

Moments pass in silence and you wonder if he’s fallen asleep, but then…

“Y/N?” His voice is barely above a whisper and just like that, your heart jumps again.

Instead of responding, you turn around to lie on your back. As you lower your hands to your side, you accidentally brush his hand. Reflexively, you move your hand to rest on your stomach instead.

Noticing this, Jungkook turns to look at you. You’re sure he can’t see you very well in the dark but with the white of the ship’s exterior safety lights coming in from the gaps in the shutters, it’s still easy to see fairly well.

For a brief moment, he doesn’t say anything and you don’t turn to look at him. Then, he looks back up at the ceiling too.

“I’m sorry,” he says, sounding deflated.

It hurts you to know he’s feeling bad about something that isn’t even his fault. If it wasn’t for the way you’re feeling, you wouldn’t care about him telling Lawrence and you wouldn’t have argued with him for him to be apologising now.

“It’s okay,” you respond quietly, finding it too hard to find the words to say anything else.

“No, it’s not,” Jungkook sighs. “I shouldn’t have done that without asking you, especially since I made you do it in the first place. This whole thing was stupid, I shouldn’t have let it happen.”

“You didn’t make me do anything,” you mumble as his last words play over in your head – this whole thing was stupid. “It was Alex.” Does he really think it was stupid? It never felt stupid to you, it just felt right.

“Yeah, but it’s because of me it happened and I could've stopped it.”

“I didn’t mind…”

You feel lame saying it because the real reason you didn’t mind is because it was the closest you’d get to dating Jungkook, but you say it because you don’t want him to feel bad about any of it.

“I know,” he says softly in understanding. “I think it’s just best to tell everyone it wasn’t real.”

You haven’t experienced anything like this before – there’s a heavy feeling in your chest trying to fight its way out. It’s causing the lump in your throat and you can’t tell if you want to cry or just tell him the truth right here, right now.

But you don’t. “Okay,” is all you say.

He must hear something in your voice – he’s attuned to every frequency of yours and the emotion that comes with it, just as you are with him. You know how sad you sounded just then and undoubtedly he’s picked up on it.

He looks at you, trying to analyse your features in the dark. Then, his hand moves and you feel his palm closing around yours, pulling your hand between your bodies to rest on the bed with your fingers intertwined. “Again, I’m sorry.”

You’re looking at him too now. Have his hands always felt this warm? Have they always fit into your own so perfectly?

“I know, it’s okay,” you answer, still fighting that feeling in your chest.

His brows knit together. “You promise?”

“I promise.”

Gently, he squeezes your hand and his features relax.

That feeling in your throat pushes harder and you realise you want to tell him. Maybe it’s because it’s dark right now it seems easier to let the truth out, almost as though it’ll stay a secret in the dark.

“Also,” he says, voice suddenly softer, “for what it’s worth, I think Lawrence is an amazing guy.”

All other thoughts come to a halt in your mind and you swallow hard. “Why are you saying that?”

Jungkook looks back up at the ceiling and when he talks, it’s a little quieter than before. “Just, I know how you used to feel about him and if he feels this way about you now, well, it could be good for you,” he adds with a shrug.

You’re unable to mask the frustration in your voice. “I already told you,” you say, “I’m not interested in him.”

Jungkook looks at you again with his brows furrowed in concern. “I know…” he hesitates with a sigh, “I just…”

“Forget it,” you mutter, pulling your hand free from his. “I’m going to sleep.”

Jungkook says nothing as you roll over with your back to him, and you say nothing else either.

The feeling in your chest has subsided but it’s been replaced with another feeling, more like an ache which you’re determined to sleep away.

It feels almost impossible as your thoughts stream endlessly through your mind, each and every one about Jungkook and the words that you’ve left unsaid. But somehow, at some point, the thoughts slip away as the weariness of the day takes over and you finally fall asleep.

It’s hot.

Jungkook pushes you hard against the wall, his thigh parting your legs as he grabs your waist tight. His breaths are heavy as his nose skims your neck, teasing you before he settles in the sweet spot behind your ear.

You’re just about managing to hold yourself up though if it weren’t for his grip on you, you’re sure your knees would give way.

There’s barely any material separating you from his thigh and you’re desperate for some friction down there. With your arms around his neck, you rock yourself against him to find some much needed relief.

You’re moaning and Jungkook chuckles, a sweet deep sound that makes you want more, and he gives it to you as his hand slips between your legs.

Gosh it’s hot.

It is hot.

That’s the first thing that your barely conscious mind picks up on.

It’s the middle of summer–you don’t know why you can feel the weight of the blanket on you. You dimly remember getting under it when you got into bed but normally you always stick a leg out or something before going to sleep.

You try to move your leg now to push it past the covers and out into the cool air, but it doesn’t budge.

Something is in the way.

Still half asleep, you try again as you think it’s just the covers tucked under your leg — only now you realise that’s not the cover, it’s another leg and it’s not yours…

You didn’t realise something was missing when you were falling asleep a few hours ago. Why would you? You were completely preoccupied with other things to have remembered it.

It’s now that you come to your senses and realise what’s happened — you forgot the pillow.

You forgot the pillow as a physical boundary between Jungkook and you, and now the exact thing you wanted to avoid is happening.

Jungkook’s warmth surrounds you from everywhere. His breath is gentle and quiet by your neck, his chest close to your back and his legs are somehow tangled with yours. His arm is draped over your frame, hand resting comfortably by your stomach.

What’s most obvious to you though, is your ass tucked comfortably against him, no doubt right against his crotch.

Fuck. This is simultaneously a dream and a nightmare. It feels so good to be this close but you know it’s so wrong, especially after the actual dream you just had which given your situation now, explains why you’re still feeling so needy down south.

You try to shift slightly again but it doesn’t work — Jungkook sighs softly in his sleep, leg moving to rest on top of yours.

Great. Now you’re actually stuck like this.

Eyes closing, you try to think of what to do but as you run it through your mind, you come to the conclusion to stay exactly as you are.

How bad can it be? With the sun shining through the cracks in the blind, you can tell it’s probably 10 am so all you have to do is pretend to fall asleep again, Jungkook will wake up very soon, he’ll realise and then he’ll just move away. Then it’ll be as though nothing ever happened.

Besides, it really does feel so good to have him holding you like this. Sure, Jungkook hugs you a lot and in general is pretty affectionate with you but this. Having him softly breathing down your neck as he sleeps comfortably with you in his arms — it’s a feeling that satisfies something you never knew you needed.

The only problem is it’s more than a little difficult to fall asleep when you can feel the hard outline of his little friend down there. Fuck, life is really testing you right now and it really doesn’t help that your pyjama bottoms are silk so you can feel a lot more of him than expected.

Groaning internally, you try to scoot away once more but it doesn’t work. Not only that, you actually didn’t just groan internally but out loud. You almost clap your hand over your mouth when you feel Jungkook shift behind you once before going still again.

Except this time, you can’t feel his warm breath on you for a second… then it comes back, but this time it’s different. You’ve spent enough of your lifetime with Jungkook to know that he breathes heavily when he sleeps and right now, he’s no longer asleep.

You’re not quite sure what comes over you, maybe it’s the heat getting to your head, or maybe you’re emboldened by the fact that Jungkook is awake and he hasn’t moved away from you… ever so slightly, you push your hips back against Jungkook’s crotch.

A sharp intake of breath from behind you confirms exactly what you wanted to know.

You do it again and this time, Jungkook reciprocates in kind. You can feel him even better now and the hard outline of his dick pushing against you makes you let out the softest whine, barely audible but with Jungkook so close to you, there’s no doubt he heard you.

Fuck. You feel almost dizzy and you’re certain that you’re not thinking clearly right now – this is Jungkook, your best friend… you try to remind yourself of that as you wait for him to do something more, but the only thing that repeats in your head is this is Jungkook. Jungkook, the man you love and adore so much and right now you can only think enough to know that whatever is happening right now, you want it.

With bated breath, you wait for what feels like an eternity but is probably only a few seconds, then Jungkook’s hand slides from across your stomach to hold your hip.

“Y/N?”

His sleepy voice so close sends a swirl of excitement through you.

“Yes?” you answer in a breathy murmur.

“I…,” he whispers, barely audible. His hand slides up your side, stopping below your breast.

You can tell he’s hesitating to move further so without hesitation, you roll your hips against him which elicits small moans of pleasure from both of you and in response, Jungkook’s hand begins to move again and you’re anticipating the feeling of his strong hands grabbing on to you where you want them so bad–

Knock knock knock knock knock. “Sleepy heads, what time do you call this?!”

– Only to be interrupted by the one and only Alias.

Immediately, Jungkook withdraws and moves faster than you can even process. He’s out of bed and throwing on the closest hoodie just as you turn around, still catching on from whatever the hell just happened. Despite the dark lighting in the room, you can tell he’s flustered from the look on his face but goddamn he looks so cute with his messed hair and you could not be more annoyed about being interrupted right now.

He pauses, turning towards you and just as your eyes meet, there’s the loud knocking again followed by Alias yelling whatever it is he’s saying.

You’re more focused on how Jungkook is looking at you to comprehend anything else. In this split second, he looks like he has a thousand things to say but not a single thing comes out of his mouth except…

“I’m sorry.” He says it so fast that in the seconds it takes you to realise what he just said, he’s already at the door letting Alias in.

“You’re not even dressed,” Alias says the second the door opens and he sees Jungkook. “And you’re not even up,” he says as he sees you. Shaking his head, he walks over to the blinds, completely unaware of the tension that is still heavy in the room between Jungkook and you.

You glance at Jungkook again to see him looking at the floor but it’s as though he can sense your eyes on him because he looks up and your eyes meet for the second time. You’re sure your expression must mirror his – flustered, somewhat guilty, but mostly just confused.

You know why you’re confused – in the last few days you’ve come to the realisation that your feelings for your best friend are more than just platonic and this happening makes you wonder what the hell Jungkook is thinking… is he feeling the same way as you? God, you can only hope… Or is he repulsed by what he’s just done and is completely regretting it now?

“Honestly, Y/N, I’m actually surprised that I’m up before you,” Alias continues as he rolls up the blinds. “You’re usually the responsible one. And Jungkook, you know we were supposed to meet at nine, it’s almost 11 now and we’ll be arriving tomorrow morning and we were supposed to meet with Alex this morning to go through the plans for the weekend, did you forget—?“ Alias pauses mid sentence, turning to look at you with a frown.

For a second, you think he’s caught on to everything, but thankfully, it’s not that.

“Why do I sound like my parents?” He shudders, looking at Jungkook too. “I must be getting old.”

Both Jungkook and you laugh, albeit awkwardly. This, however, doesn’t go unnoticed by Alias. His frown changes to something more curious as he looks between you.

You expect him to say something about it but he doesn’t.

“Well, Jungkook, he’s still waiting to speak with you, he’s already briefed the other guys.”

“Right,” Jungkook nods, now avoiding your gaze as he grabs his clothes. “I’ll just get ready, I won’t be long.”

“Cool,” Alias says, taking a seat in the armchair by the window. “I’ll wait for you then.”

As soon as Jungkook has disappeared into the bathroom, Alias turns to you. “Did you tell him?” he asks immediately.

Still slightly befuddled, you frown. “Huh?”

“Last night, you said you weren’t gonna say anything about how you feel but why are you both acting so different?”

“Oh.” All of last night comes back to you in an instant. Lawrence confessing, your conversation with Alias and everything else that happened with Jungkook after. “No, I didn’t,” you pause, brows knitting even further together before you look at Alias. “But I think he might know anyway.”

Alias’s brows shoot upwards. “What makes you think that?”

Because he was just feeling me up in bed and if you hadn’t walked in it seemed like it would have gone further. Well, you absolutely can’t say that.

“I don’t know.”

Frowning, Alias moves to sit at the end of the bed. “Are you okay?” He reaches forward and puts a hand on your knee.

“Yeah,” you nood, smiling as you take his hand to reassure him. You’re sure you must look like a bit of a mess, not only have you just gotten up but your mind and pulse is racing from what just happened with Jungkook – whatever it was. “Could you just give us a minute though?”

“Sure,” Alias answers, getting up right away. “Just text me if you need anything,” he says. “I’ll be waiting on the deck for you guys.” He stops by the door, turning around. “But Alex is still waiting for Jungkook too.”

“We won’t be long,” you reassure him with a smile.

He nods once more before leaving the room.

You’re left with only the noise of your thoughts and the shower running in the bathroom. You can feel your pulse racing as you push the covers back and get out of bed. It still feels so hot in here so you find the AC controller and blast the cool air to help calm yourself down as you try to process what just happened.

What did just happen? Were you and Jungkook really about to do something? Just thinking of it sends butterflies swirling down south but they’re quickly sent off track when you ask yourself what on earth it means?

You know why you were okay with it all happening… if you didn’t have feelings for him, you would never have let it happen, but you do, so you didn’t stop it. Is it the same for Jungkook? The idea of Jungkook liking you is far from foreign – Alex has always been trying to tell you but you just never believed it… this, however, has you in two minds.

Or, there’s also the other more plausible reason. Jungkook woke up and realised his hard dick was enjoying the fact that there was another warm female body in such close vicinity to him so naturally, he made his move and you didn’t object so he went along with it. You’ve had your own small share of experiences with friends who you ended up doing more with without any feelings involved and so has Jungkook, maybe he just thought that’s what this was… God, even just the thought of that hurts.

The bathroom door clicks open and your head snaps up.

Jungkook walks out still scruffing his hair dry with a towel. He’s dressed casually for the day but he still looks as good as ever to you. He pauses after a few steps when he sees Alias has gone and slowly, he lowers the towel and looks at you.

You feel small because you’re so unsure of where you stand with him right now. Pressing your palms with your fingers, you try to relax and think clearly but it’s hard when your heart is pounding in your chest and wants nothing more than for him to confess he has the same feelings as you do.

Still, as you look at Jungkook, it seems like he feels small too. His fingers are squeezing the towel as he switches it between his hands and he hesitates, starting to say something before he stops.

You so badly want to say something, anything, but you have no idea what. How do you start? Can we talk about what just happened? Did you like it? Do you like me? Because I like you, a lot. Gosh, if only it was that damn easy.

“Um,” Jungkook starts but looks away from you. “I’m sorry about what happened…” He loosely points to the bed.

Startled, you just stand there for a moment. He’s sorry?… “You’re sorry?” you repeat.

“Yeah, I, uh, I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“So, you weren’t thinking about what you were doing…?” you echo, starting to feel like a stupid parrot. He regrets it, of course he does.

Jungkook blinks, somewhat confused but you don’t blame him. You’re asking for clarification for selfish reasons – you need to know if he thinks what just happened was a mistake because it was far from a mistake for you.

“No…” Jungkook hesitates, his face rounding as he looks at you. You’re sure he can tell you’re upset by what he’s saying. “Were you?” he asks.

“No.” It’s not a lie – you really weren’t thinking about what was happening, just that you enjoyed it.

As soon as you say it, you’re sure you see Jungkook deflate. Did he want me to say yes? No, that doesn’t make sense, he said no first.

“Right, yeah.” He clears his throat as he fiddles with the towel again. “I’m sorry it happened, I wouldn’t ever want to make you feel uncomfortable.” He says it with such sincerity that your chest tightens.

“I didn’t feel uncomfortable.” The words come out before you can even stop them but you want him to know that, you’d hate for him to feel bad about something like this when it’s far from his fault that you let it happen just because you like him and wanted it to be something more.

Jungkook’s expression is the same as before, eyes rounding and there’s that barely-there pout to his lips as he asks, “You didn’t?”

“No, I didn’t.” Shit, what are you saying, Y/N? You can hear the blood rushing through your ears and you start to feel sick. “But… it wasn’t supposed to happen?” You mean for it to come out as a question but you have no clue if it did.

“I, no,” Jungkook clears his throat again and he nods. “It was just a mistake then, it won’t happen again.” Now he looks away from you completely as he goes and puts the towel into the laundry basket.

Suddenly, you feel yourself on the verge of breaking. How can he be so composed right now when you feel like you simultaneously want to shout at him to tell him how much he means to you, and cry endlessly because–does he really not feel anything for you?

“Alias is waiting for you upstairs,” you say, walking past him to go into the bathroom. “I’ll meet you later.”

You leave no time for him to respond but just before you close the door, you catch a glimpse of his confused doe eyes and just like that, your heart sinks again.

“Could it really be?” your dad pretends to rub his eyes, blinking a few times as his face morphs into a grin. “Our daughter is here to grace us with her presence, I don’t believe it.”

Your mom laughs, gently patting your hand as you sit down between them.

“Ha-ha, very funny dad,” you deadpan, throwing him a grumpy look.

“I’m only kidding, honey. I’m just glad you’ve decided to join us for lunch.”

“Of course,” you shrug. “I’ll even make your plates, what do you want?”

Your dad throws your mom a look. “Our princess is spoiling us today.”

Rolling your eyes playfully, you head over to the buffet table to prepare two plates for your parents with everything you know they like. Just as you turn back to return to your table, you catch Jungkook watching you from across the balcony.

He’s on a table with Alex, Sophia and a few others. Meeting your gaze, he gives a small smile before looking away. Gosh you never knew a smile could hurt so much.

Ignoring the pang in your chest, you return to your parents and slump into the seat.

“Where’s yours?” your dad asks, already reaching for a sandwich.

“I’m not that hungry,” you mumble, taking a strawberry and biting into it.

Not so slyly, your parents exchange glances. They choose to say nothing for the moment, making small talk as they enjoy their lunch.

Once your dad is on his second cup of coffee, your mum takes your hand and squeezes gently. Looking up, you take comfort in the smile you see on her face. You know that both your parents are aware that there’s something on your mind – it’s why you’ve chosen to sit silently in their company while they have their own light hearted conversation. You also know that their advice is usually unparalleled to anyone else’s and right now, you could really do with some of their wise words.

“Is there anything you want to eat, honey?” your mom asks.

“The fruit is fine,” you answer quietly.

In response, your dad piles all the fruit into the plate in front of you while your mother gently continues probing.

“You’ve lost your appetite then… that usually happens for a reason, hm?”

You don’t say anything and she continues.

“Would it have anything to do with Jungkook?”

The rounded eyes you give your mom must give it away immediately as she lets out a small sigh.

“How could you tell?” you ask.

“He came down ten minutes before you,” your dad answers, “he normally always waits for you. Not to mention the funny look you gave each other just a little while ago.”

Sighing, you slump further into your seat. “We got into an argument last night,” you admit, feeling like a five year old again.

It seems so stupid to say out loud, especially because you don’t think you can bring yourself to reveal the real reason the argument feels as bad as it does – the reason being your feelings for him – but you don’t really care about feeling like a kid when it’s your parents. They’re the only people you can be this vulnerable with and at times like this, you want their comfort and company the most. You would love to tell them the whole story but there’s no way you’re telling them what just happened this morning so you go with everything else.

“It wouldn’t be the first,” your mom says, still holding your hand as she takes it into her lap.

“No, but this felt different…”

Your mom hums, gently playing with the bracelet on your wrist. Neither she nor your dad say anything, waiting for you to continue on your own.

Closing your eyes, you let out part of the truth. “Lawrence told me he likes me.”

Your mom’s fingers pause briefly before she continues twisting the charms between her fingers. Looking up, you catch your parents exchanging glances, most definitely surprised but they’re subtle about it.

“He told me last night and I made it clear it wouldn’t work… but I think it looked different to Jungkook and he just kept telling me I should give Lawrence a chance even though I told him I don’t want to.”

“That’s what you argued about?” your dad asks.

“Mhm.”

“Lawrence telling you that…” your dad pauses momentarily before continuing, “how did it make you feel?”

“It was weird,” you admit. “I used to have a big crush on him.”

“Oh, we know,” your mom says with a smile.

Despite it being in the past, it still feels so embarrassing — you were such a wide eyed 16 year old with a fat school crush that even your parents noticed.

“But I don’t now,” you mumble, cheeks warming as you keep your head lowered. “I told him that and I guess I felt kinda bad too. It’s been a while since we left school.”

Your father hums in agreement. “That’s a long time to like someone,” he says, head cocking as he looks at you knowingly.

“I know.”

Squeezing your hand, your mom takes over. “And what about Jungkook?”

“Well, when I told him, he was insisting I should give it a try.”

“That doesn’t seem like such a bad thing to suggest,” your dad shrugs. “I’d say the same thing, after all, you said it yourself that you liked him before and Lawrence is a good guy.”

“Yeah but I don’t now,” you reiterate. “I thought Jungkook would know that.”

“You’ve been single since you left college, Y/N, there’s absolutely no reason for him to think your heart is elsewhere…” he pauses, patting your leg, “unless you tell him.”

“Huh?” You look at your dad but he’s already looked away, a smirk on his face as he takes a sip of his coffee.

“I, what would I…?” you sputter, looking at your mom and seeing the smile on her face, you fall quiet.

So much for trying to keep this a secret — if your parents know then you wonder if anyone else knows. Although, of course no one else knows you as much as your parents and here they are telling you to tell Jungkook how you really feel but it’s still so nerve wracking to you.

There’s so many times you can think of that would make you think he likes you as much as you like him, but then there‘s also that voice of reason in your head that tells you you’re reading into it too much. Jungkook doesn’t like you romantically as much as you wish he would.

Chin lifting, you get up. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you say, “but thanks for the chat,” you smile, giving a quick kiss on the cheek to both of them.

“Darling, you’ll regret it if you don’t,” your dad says as you’re walking off.

“No idea what you mean,” you call out with an airy wave of your hand.

Walking across the length of the deck, you steal a glance in the direction of Jungkook only to see he’s no longer there. Looking around, you can’t see him anywhere. Resigned, you find an empty table that’s out of sight from everyone you know and slump into the chair to be alone with your thoughts.

No one knows you better than your parents, not even Jungkook and if they’re telling you to tell him then you can’t argue that there’s a big part of you that agrees and even wants to tell him. How would it feel to have Jungkook as yours? Sure, you have him more than anyone else right now — you share everything together, the good stuff, the bad stuff, and all the days in between…

It’s something you’ll forever be grateful for because if you can’t have all of Jungkook then you’ll take the little things whenever you can. Still though, you know it’s not the same when all you are to him is a best friend; his response to what happened this morning completely confirmed that to you. In some ways, it hurts more than anything else knowing that as his best friend, you’ll be there when he eventually does find someone to call his own and fuck, even just the thought of that hurts like a bitch.

Who knows if you’d even still be friends when that happens? It’s only natural that he and whoever he chooses would become closer than ever and you’ll just be that childhood friend considered to be like a sister…

“You’re moping.”

Turning around, you see Alex standing with his hands on his hips.

“And you’re interrupting,” you grumble, slumping back into the seat.

“Nope, come on, I’m not having this,” he says, coming right behind you and holding your head to look up at him. “The wedding is in three days and you are not going to spend it like this.”

“I’ll be fine for the wedding, I promise.”

Narrowing his eyes, Alex lets go and sits down next to you. “What about tomorrow?”

Tomorrow night is Thalia’s hen night and Alex’s stag night. The cruise will arrive at Porto Cheli around dawn tomorrow and most guests will be escorted to various villas rented out by the Cirillo’s. Meanwhile, you and a few close others, including Jungkook, will be arriving at the Cirillo family home. A grand estate which given its enormous size, will accommodate the tradition of keeping the bride and groom parties separate until the wedding on Saturday afternoon.

Thalia has never been much of a party-goer so she’s choosing to keep things simple with a fine dining evening although you’re sure Sophia has planned for strippers and booze to appear at some point during the night.

“I’ll be fine,” you repeat, plastering on a smile.

“I know you can fake it for everyone else but I actually want you to have a good time, Y/N,” he says, putting his arm around you.

Your smile turns into a genuine one. “I will, of course I will, it’s your wedding weekend and I’m so happy for you.”

Alex grins. “Thanks, I know you are.” He lets go and turns his chair to face you. “But I also know that you’re not talking to Jungkook right now, which means both of you will be moping until you make up.”

Of course he knows, you think. Well, he doesn’t know about this morning and you don’t know if you can bring yourself to tell him, it feels rather embarrassing for you. “Alias told you?”

“He told Sophia, she told Thalia and Thalia told me,” Alex shrugs.

It’s not like you expected it to stay a secret between your friends. Whenever Jungkook and you aren’t talking, it’s usually pretty obvious to everyone around you, especially your friends.

“Wanna talk about it?” Alex offers.

“Not really.” Talking to your parents was enough and you already know what Alex is going to say. “You probably think I should just be completely honest about how I feel, right?”

Alex shrugs again. “Yeah, although he should’ve been upfront about it first.”

Surprised, you look up at him and he continues.

“I know I've been telling you for ages that he’s whipped for you, but this kind of proves it, don’t you think?” Alex glances at you, eyes creasing in the corners as he hides a smug smirk. “There’s only one reason he reacted to Lawrence the way he did.”

It makes sense, but it also doesn’t – Jungkook purely could’ve been pushing you to be with Lawrence as a friend who just wants to see you happy. You’d hate to think it’s for the former reason, only to realise you’ve terribly misinterpreted the situation and end up stupidly admitting your feelings to Jungkook when he cares for you only as a friend. “It doesn’t really,” you say, trying harder to convince yourself than Alex. “I mean, he probably just didn’t want me to waste the opportunity.”

“Ha!” Alex scoffs. “Waste the opportunity.” He gives you a look. “Come on, Y/N, why are you fighting every reason that you have to try?”

“It’s not a reason,” you counter. “We’ve gotten into one argument and I don’t think me saying I have feelings for him will change anything–”

“So you do.”

“What?”

You look back at Alex and see his eyes wide and he’s not even hiding his smile anymore.

“You do like him,” he repeats.

“I, what…?” Suddenly, you realise you just said it out loud. Opening your mouth, you’re about to try to cover it up somehow but it’s too late.

“I knew it,” Alex laughs, seeming way too ecstatic considering how shit you feel. “This is gold, Y/N, this is it, I’ve always known Jungkook liked you but you liking him too, it’s perfect!”

“Shh,” you hush him suddenly, grabbing his hands as you look around in a panic. “Alex shut up, someone’s gonna hear you.”

“The whole world should know, Y/N,” he laughs happily again. Looking at you, he cups your face in his hands. “I’ve been waiting for this for so long, you need to tell him, Y/N, please!”

The thought of telling Jungkook is terrifying to you, even more so now that Alex is saying it out loud and someone could possibly hear.

With your expression split between worry and confusion, Alex’s smile fades a little but not completely. “Y/N, this is good, what’s wrong?”

For the first time, you let yourself say the truth out loud. “What if he doesn’t feel the same way?”

Alex sighs, his smile softening. “There’s only one way you’ll find out.

Now it’s you who scoffs, pulling away from him. “Yeah, right.”

“I am right,” he insists.

Sighing, you look at him. It’s so hard to hear Alex tell you that Jungkook likes you when youc an only think otherwise after this morning… “Something happened,” you start, watching Alex carefully.

For a second he still smiles but when he sees the worry lining your face, his expression mirrors yours as his smile fades. “Okay… you wanna talk about it?”

You quickly glance around to make sure no one can hear. “You promise you won’t tell anyone,” you say, “not even Alias or Sophia or Tha–” you cut yourself off. Asking Alex not to tell his soon to be wife is like asking him to cut off his hand, you already know that since he couldn’t even keep Sophia’s birthday present to her secret. “Fine, only Thalia.”

“Appreciate it,” Alex nods.

“Mhm, well…” You tell him briefly what happened this morning, sparing him the details but telling him every word of what was spoken after and he listens carefully, not interrupting you once.

You chose to tell Alex because he’s the one who has always been so sure of Jungkook’s feelings for you, not Alias, nor Sophia, or even Thalia. Sure, the others have hinted at it but only Alex has ever paid attention to everything between Jungkook and you so if anyone knows the whole story and can give you the best advice, it’s him. So, it feels a little alarming to you when once you’re done, he still doesn’t say anything for a moment.

Then, he purses his lips, grimacing before he finally speaks. “Honestly, that’s a bit confusing. If there ever was a way to confess, this was the perfect window to do it.”

For what feels like the umpteenth time today, your heart sinks. “That’s what I thought.”

“But,” Alex says very surely, taking your hand, “it doesn’t change every single other thing he’s ever done to show he likes you, and let’s be real, he’s probably just worried that you won’t feel the same.”

It’s what you want to hear but it’s still so hard to accept it because what if it’s not true and you make a fool of yourself in front of Jungkook.

“I wish that were true,” you mumble. “But I don’t think I can keep holding onto hope when it hurts like this.”

Alex squeezes your hand. “Y/N, we know Jungkook, he doesn’t exactly play with anyone’s feelings and I absolutely don’t think he would start something physical with you unless he was feeling it emotionally too.”

“I know, but what if it’s just because he was horny.” You’re still mumbling, cheeks going warm as you say it.

“Look, I think there’s a lot of guys who would sleep with their best friends if they had the chance,” Alex says, “but Jungkook isn’t one of them, he never has been.”

Thinking about it, you realise he’s right. Jungkook wouldn’t. There’s been way more chances in the past for him to have done things with you and you’re pretty sure there’s even been times where you drunkenly made a few moves on him but he never did anything himself.

“Still, I don’t know.”

“Oh, come on, Y/N,” Alex says encouragingly, “how long have I been telling you he likes you? I haven’t been saying it for no reason.”

“But you have no concrete proof either.”

“Just take a chance, be brave and then you’ll see I was right,” Alex says, raising a brow.

Glancing at him, you chuckle. “This is coming from the guy who had to get drunk to say I love you to the love of his life for the first time.”

Alex smiles and leans back in his seat as he gestures around him. “It worked didn’t it? Look at me now.”

Well, he got you there. Plus, you can’t deny the big part of you that believes it. Jungkook and your friendship does feel more than friends sometimes and you know it’s not all in your head. This morning seemed to confirm that too.

Narrowing your eyes at Alex, you turn away to face the horizon. “Don’t say anything to anyone, but I’ll think about it.”

“Yes,” Alex laughs, hugging you. “I’ll keep my mouth shut,” he says, sounding so excited. “You won’t regret this.”

Laughing, you pull him into your side. “You could start now, half the deck can hear you.”

“Sorry,” he grins, squeezing you.

Maybe he’s right, maybe you won’t regret it.

Jungkook comes to a stop at the end of the balcony to watch the sun set behind the sea. It’s been a long day with Alex asking his groomsmen to assist him in all things wedding related and then Alias needed help sorting out the entertainment for tomorrow.

Jungkook hasn’t seen you since lunch. He went back to the cabin while you had lunch with your parents since he didn’t want to make it awkward for you when you eventually came up to finish packing and since then he hasn’t seen you as you’ve been with the girls all day.

Truthfully, after this morning, he doesn’t think he can bear to see you just yet. He feels like a coward. Not only has he probably ruined his friendship with you, but he also can’t help but feel like he’s hurt you. You looked so timid as you stood across the cabin from him and a part of him felt like you wanted him to say something other than what he said. If only he was 100% sure it’s what you wanted, Jungkoook would shout it for the whole world to hear, but what if it’s not and he really does ruin everything between you. Besides, you called it a mistake. That’s all Jungkook can remind himself of as it takes everything in him not to tell you he wishes that there was something more between you.

“Why the long face, Kookie?”

The voice comes from behind him but Jungkook doesn’t have to be looking to know who it is.

Valentina appears beside him and leans on the balcony too. She doesn’t even look at him but just watches the horizon ahead as Jungkook was. “Trouble in paradise, huh?”

Jungkook frowns. Of course that’s the first thing she would think of. “Not really,” he mutters.

As much as he wishes it was paradise between you and him, it wasn’t, none of it was real

and what he finds worse is that he couldn’t even keep up a fake relationship with you – he completely blew it.

“So what then? They didn’t have your favourite bagel for breakfast this morning?” She laughs lightly.

However, Jungkook internally scowls. It’s annoying that she actually knows him rather well despite the finer details of their ‘relationship’. “No offence, Val, but I really just wanna be alone right now.”

There’s harsher things he could’ve said, particularly naming her as the least desirable companion right now, but even without that, Valentina seems to get the message from his tone alone.

The humour in her expression disappears leaving only a small poignant smile.

Not expecting such a quick retreat from her, Jungkook immediately regrets his harsh tone but at the same time, he really is not in the mood for Valentina and her usual antics today.

She doesn’t move an inch though. With a small sigh she turns and faces the horizon just as Jungkook was.

Jungkook does the same; although he’d rather be left alone, he’s definitely not about to make it known again, especially since he now feels a bit bad.

“It’s always been her, hasn’t it?”

For a moment, Jungkook is completely thrown. Multiple thoughts run through his head – What? Valentina knows? How long has she known? Was it from when he was with her? Was he really always in love with you even while he was seeing other people? That must make him a complete dick, right? Has he always made it so painfully obvious that he’s in love with you?

His hesitation seems to give Valentina the answer she was looking for.

She glances at him and smiles before looking away again. “I’m not surprised really, I knew it from when I first met you, I guess it’s my fault for putting us both through everything we went through, it was damned from the start.”

“That’s not your fault,” Jungkook says, the guilt festering.

Valentina just shrugs. “It’s over now, no reason to care.” She says it meaninglessly but Jungkook can only hope she means it.

“So why the long face then?” she repeats, looking at him. “She’s yours, go be with her.”

“It’s not that simple.”

Valentina laughs, bumping her shoulder into him. “Yeah, you’re right. Pretending to date someone you’re secretly in love with is never simple.”

For the second time, Jungkook looks at her stunned. “How did you…?”

She shrugs, still sporting an amused smile. “I know you think I’m stupid, Jungkook, just a head in the clouds rich bitch like everyone else does, but I’ve gotten this far, haven’t I?”

“That’s not true,” Jungkook corrects her immediately. Sure, Valentina has her unbearable moments and more often than not, she plays dumb and innocent, but Jungkook knows that she��s more than that. “I wouldn’t have dated you if I thought that.”

“Don’t worry, Kookie, you don’t have to try to make me feel better, I really couldn’t care less about it. Now, back to the main issue here, you need to grow a pair and tell Y/N how you feel about her,” she says bluntly.

She’s not wrong, Jungkook thinks. “It’s just not that simple,” he sighs, turning away from her. It feels odd to be having this conversation with Valentina and despite her honesty just now, he doesn’t really feel like opening up to her.

“What’s complicated about it? You like her and she likes you.”

“We don’t know that.”

“You honestly think she doesn’t like you?” she asks, sounding surprised.

Hesitating, Jungkook eventually shrugs. “Sometimes I think so…” It’s true, sometimes Jungkook really feels so sure that you feel the same way, but then something always happens that changes things. He thinks of Lawrence – you liked him for so long and although Jungkook doesn’t know the extent of it, you always had this schoolgirl crush on him, even whilst you were with Alex. “But I don’t think she does.”

Valentina looks at Jungkook like he’s stupid and he’s vaguely reminded of why they never worked out. “Well, you can keep thinking that but it’s kind of obvious she does.”

Saying nothing, Jungkook looks out at the horizon again, leaning his forearms into the balcony. The sun is almost fully set marking the last day of the cruise. They’ll soon be arriving at Porto Cheli and it’ll be even harder to spend time with you once the bride and groom parties are separated. He wants to talk to you and to make things okay between you again, but he knows that he’s upset you and although it’s confusing him, he wants to give you space.

Valentina sighs, nudging him. “Just talk to her, you don’t want to regret it later on,” she says, straightening up as her usual flamboyance returns. “You know if it doesn’t work out, I’ll always be here for you Kookie pie,” she almost coos, making Jungkook laugh and cringe at the same time. As ditzy as she may act sometimes, Valentina is more smart than Jungkook ever gave her credit for.

She grins, winking at him before she waltzes off like the conversation never happened.

The cabin is dark when you finally return to your room. It’s well past midnight and you expect Jungkook to be here but as your eyes quickly adjust, you can see the room is empty. As you walk in further, you see his suitcase standing packed and ready in the corner of the room.

Deflating, you trudge over to your own open suitcase on one side of the room. You’re only half packed and you’d hoped Jungkook would still have his to do too so you’d have a chance to maybe talk to him, but it seems he’s already done it while you were busy with the girls. You wonder if he avoided you on purpose.

Pushing this thought quickly out of your head, you press shuffle on your ‘summer ‘23’ playlist in an attempt to cheer yourself up while you finish packing. It doesn’t really work but you at least keep your mind free from running rampant, instead singing along to some of your favourite tunes with no regards for your cabin neighbours, one of whom is Valentina and you’re more than certain she’s not in her cabin because you last saw her walking out of the premium lounge with a tall, handsome stranger whose face you couldn’t see and they went into an elevator going to the cabins on the other side of the ship, barely waiting to let the door close before locking lips.

Must be nice, you think sourly before shaking your head. Not cute, Y/N, you scold yourself. Although you don’t blame yourself for having negative thoughts since you are on the short end of an unrequited love story with your best friend, you’d still rather not be bitter.

Almost three hours later, you’ve packed everything, showered and are already dressed ready for the arrival at Porto Cheli soon. You’ve chosen a simple outfit, a sky blue linen co-ord with jewellery to match. Slipping into the comfiest sandals you own, you move your suitcase next to the door and grab your phone before heading out of the room. It’s almost 5am so there’s around an hour left until the ship docks at the port, marking the end of the cruise and the start of the busy wedding weekend. Most of you took a nap during the day, so deciding you wouldn’t sleep tonight, they all agreed to meet one last time on the cruise.

Despite everything that’s happened with Jungkook and the dampener it’s put on your mood, you’re still excited to celebrate Alex’s wedding. Not only is he dear to you, but you’re celebrating his marriage with so many of the people you love the most, making this whole trip special. It would be perfect if you could end it by fixing what’s happened with Jungkook but you feel like you’ve already made yourself so vulnerable to him and nothing came out of it.

It’s quiet and dark in the hallways as you make your way out to the pool on the top deck. It reminds you of the nights you were sneaking out with Jungkook to meet the other guys for whatever stupid stuff you were getting up to. It makes you miss him now and you subconsciously walk a little faster in anticipation of seeing him now as you all gather for the last time.

You can hear your friends before you see them and you smile at the sound of Alias’ laughter as you climb the steps to the deck. You’re certain any patrolling staff would have heard and they’re either being nice enough to let you all off, or Alias tipped them enough to keep quiet.

There’s a bunch of familiar faces hanging around all together, all friends of either Alex, Thalia, Sophia or Alias. You smile at a few as you make your way over to Sophia, Thalia and a few others.

The girls greet you warmly as you approach and Sophia hands you a drink as soon as you arrive. You take it and immediately take a sip. You weren’t planning on having anything to drink but one won’t hurt. There’s an excited buzz in the air, the same you felt on the first day of cruise but this feels special. The sun is rising on the horizon and you’re here with almost all of your best friends. Almost all of your best friends. Jungkook still isn’t here but you try not to focus on it and just have a good time with your friends.

It works, so much so that you’re mid laughter when a familiar face joins the deck and makes their way over to you, but you don’t quite realise until he pats your shoulder as the conversation progresses.

Turning around, your smile falters but doesn’t disappear. “Oh, hey.”

“Hey.” Lawrence looks nervous, an emotion you’re not used to seeing on him.

You also weren’t actually expecting to see him but you’re glad he’s here. Throughout everything, he’s still a friend and you’d hate to lose that relationship with him.

“How are you?” You ask, smile widening. You haven’t seen him since that night and you’d hate to think he’s been avoiding you when it’s the last thing you’d want.

“Good, thanks,” he nods. He seems to suddenly relax at your warm response. He glances at the group behind you and you turn too. No one is paying either of you any attention but Lawrence still asks for privacy. “Do you think we could talk?” he asks tentatively. “I’ll make it quick, I promise.”

“Of course,” you nod, following him as he turns right away and walks to the furthest side of the deck where it’s quietest.

You stop when he does, taking a seat on the bench beside him. It’s easy to see he’s nervous as he glances around quickly before looking down at the drink in his hand. You want to say something to make him feel better but you don’t want to interrupt whatever it is he wants to say.

“How have you, uh, how have you been?” He looks up, holding eye contact for barely a second before looking away again.

“Good,” you answer. It’s not the truth but he doesn’t need to know that.

He nods and takes a sip of his drink. You do the same and you’ve just swallowed when he speaks again.

“I‘m sorry for pulling you away from your friends, I just wanted to talk to you tonight before all the wedding stuff starts and I didn’t know if I’d get a chance.”

“That’s okay, I don’t mind.” You lean in a little so he looks at you and smile. “You’re my friend too though,” you say, feeling the need to remind him.

His smile mirrors yours and he nods. “I kinda messed it up though…”

You know this is of course what he wanted to talk to you about and although you don’t think it needs to change anything between you, you know yourself how easily feelings can change a friendship. Not only that, but he deserves an explanation from you too since you did have feelings for him for a good chunk of your teen years and later, plus your conversation ended before it was supposed to that night when Alias and Jungkook appeared.

“Not really,” you shrug. “I think it’s just how we deal with it now, no?”

“Yeah, if you’re okay with that,” he agrees. “I’d like to.”

“Of course I am. And I’m sorry too by the way.”

Lawrence looks confused and you don’t wait for him to say anything before continuing.

“I think it must have been confusing for you to be on the receiving end of my feelings for you while we were in college and maybe I even subconsciously made it seem like it after too.”

“Ah,” Lawrence purses his lips. “Well I didn’t really know.”

“I know, you said that before but I still feel like I need to say it. There may have been a few times I was coming off as more than friendly and that was wrong of me.”

Lawrence’s silence serves as an answer.

“So yeah, I’m sorry too. I hope we can go back to how things were,” you say hesitantly.

“It might be hard,” Lawrence responds honestly.

“I know…” your voice feels small. You know all too well how feelings can change a friendship. “But we’ll try?” You look at him and smile hopefully.

He nods. “Of course.”

You’re content with that. Of course you don’t know the extent of his feelings for you so you hope it won’t be hard for him to move on – after all, the two of you mostly ever met up at family functions and dinners of the same sort. It’s rare for Lawrence to have joined any of the outings with your friends. It was never his fault since his parents have always pushed for him to do more for their company, especially since he was an only child. It’s something that’s always made you more grateful for your own parents and their completely laid back and caring approach to your career, even all throughout school. The only thing they ever pushed for was your grades but they kept up that same effort in all areas of your life, even your extracurriculars. Sure, sometimes when you were growing up you felt the pressure but you always felt supported by them no matter what the final result was.

Lawrence has experienced the opposite of you to say it simply, and you’re sure that given time, he’ll find the right person for him as he prioritises himself.

“Thanks for talking to me though,” you say, “I’m glad you did.”

“Me too,” Lawrence says, taking another sip. “At least now I don’t have to avoid you all weekend long.”

You laugh, agreeing with him and soon enough, the conversation continues although it doesn’t last longer than ten minutes with Lawrence excusing himself.

You stay seated at the bench as he leaves. You didn’t realise you were concerned about your relationship with Lawrence but the relief and content you’re feeling now tells you as much. You’re glad you’ve cleared everything up with him, now if only you could get yourself to do the same with Jungkook.

Glancing around, you realise that he still hasn’t appeared. He definitely would have known about it so you wonder why he hasn’t turned up. Finishing your drink, you get up and head over to where Alias is sitting with his friends Kelce and Dillon.

“Hey, Y/N,” they all say in unison when you come and sit beside them at the pool. They’re definitely a little tipsy and you don’t need to see the cans beside them to know that. Their goofy smiles say it all.

“Hey guys,” you chuckle, patting Kelce’s shoulder. “Um, have you guys seen Jungkook anywhere?”

Alias immediately frowns but it’s Dillon who answers. “We were with him a while ago at the lounge.” He looks at the other guys. “When was that? A couple of hours ago?”

Kelce looks at his phone. “Yeah, it was around one.”

You went past the lounge at the same time, that’s when you saw Valentina leaving with that guy… for a split second, your mind goes there – could it have been him? – No. Absolutely no. The idea is absurd. You feel stupid for even thinking that.

“You haven’t seen him since then, Y/N?” Alias asks.

“No.” You ignore the seed of concern that settles in your stomach. You’re certain he’s not with Valentina, but where is he?

“We were gonna leave the lounge together but he stayed for another drink,” Alias tells you, seeming to share the same concern as you. “He seemed like he wanted to be alone so we left him.”

“Oh.” It’s not like Jungkook to drink alone – if he does, he’s usually upset about something. “Well, thanks for telling me,” you mutter, getting up and leaving the group.

Alias, however, gets up with you. “Hey,” he says, taking your arm. “You want me to find him?” He looks you over and you’re sure the concern in his expression isn’t solely for Jungkook.

“Um…” you hesitate. You don’t want to seem like a clingy best friend, especially not after what happened between you, but if Jungkook is drinking alone then he’s not feeling okay and you would normally be there for him. This time you feel like you can’t be, but Alias can. However, you don’t want to ask Alias to spend his night away from his friends and family.

Looking at him, you smile. “No, it’s okay. I’m sure he’s around somewhere.”

Alias doesn’t seem convinced. “But then he would be here.”

He’s right. “Or maybe he was tired and went back to the cabin?”

“You just said you haven’t seen him since we did.”

Chewing on the inside of your lip, you shake your head. “I haven’t.”

Sighing, Alias pulls out his phone. “I’ll try calling him but if he doesn’t get back to me in ten minutes we’ll go look for him.”

“Okay,” you nod. “Let me know if he replies,” you say, thanking him too before going back to some of the girls.

You’re not listening much to their conversation although you try to get involved to take your mind off of Jungkook.

It isn’t until you receive a text from Alias with a screenshot that your nerves are put to rest.

[3:01] Me: hey man where r u?

[3:13] JK: hey sorry bro, I knocked out on the balcony.

[3:13] Me: oh okay, it’s all good just wanted to know where u were. Join us now? We’re at the top pool deck.

[3.15] JK: I’m just gonna check all my luggage is packed first. Will join later.

[3:15] Me: cool see u.

So he’s fine, he just fell asleep. You still want to see him but you know that’s not going to happen unless you go down to the cabin room and you don’t want to seem clingy so you don’t. Instead, you turn your attention back to the conversation the girls are having and feel the excitement for the weekend to come.

Jungkook doesn’t get drunk often and he had no plans of doing so the last night of the cruise either, and he most definitely did not expect to get drunk with your father of all people…

“You coming Jungkook?”

Looking up from his drink, Jungkook shook his head. “Nah, I’m just gonna hang here for a bit,” he said with a smile so as not to raise suspicions from the already watchful eye of Alias.

Still, Alias frowned. “You sure?”

“Yeah, I still got a headache.”

“Alright, well text me if you need anything,” Alias said as he, Kelce and Dillon got up.

“Get well soon,” Kelce said as they took their leave.

“Join us later, yeah?” Dillon added.

“Yeah,” Jungkook nodded. “I’ll catch you guys later.”

He watched as they walked out, trying to find the same excitement in him for the wedding as they’re feeling but his head was full of other thoughts.

Sighing, he looked down at this drink again. It’s true that he had a headache. He even chose not to have anything alcoholic, opting for a mocktail from the extensive drinks menu available at the lounge. He’s not sure where it came from but he thought it’s most likely just because he couldn’t stop his brain from thinking and the lack of sleep didn’t help either.

Truthfully, he knew he was just moping. He knew what he had to do and he knew it before his conversation with Valentina. Although, the fact that she said it too just made Jungkook more aware of the truth.

The line between friendship and something more had always been blurry for Jungkook and the past few days only made him more sure of it — he’s in love with you and he always has been for as long as he can remember.

Every time the thought crossed Jungkook’s mind, it triggered the questions that come with it. How do I tell her? Does she feel the same way? She’ll hate me. What if she hates me? I shouldn’t do that to her? What’s worse, is that now it had come to the point that being with you was almost painful – not knowing if he could have more with you when all he had to do was confront his feelings, swallow his pride and be honest with you. Even if you didn’t feel the same, it was the point at which he realised he would rather you hate him for admitting his feelings and ruining your friendship, than stay quiet and never know if he can have what he’s always wanted with you.

That said, it still felt so hard to do – he had a lot to lose.

Head lowered, Jungkook tried to figure out the best way to do this when he heard a familiar laugh somewhere behind him. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw Valentina walking with a tall, handsome man beside her. Jungkook had seen him around a few times but he wasn’t sure if he was a part of the wedding party. Whoever he was, he sure knew how to make Valentina laugh; she was laughing as he put his arm around her and she raised her hand to hold his fingers loosely when she looked towards the bar. Making eye contact with Jungkook, she stopped and tilted her head.

Jungkook just smiled awkwardly and turned back around. He didn’t want to seem like he was staring even though that was what he was doing but for no bad reason – he liked to see Valentina happy. Despite her shortcomings, deep down she always had good intentions for the most part and making her happy was something Jungkook couldn’t do. However, he would’ve been lying if he said seeing her like that didn’t hurt – not because he was jealous of her, but because everyone around him seemed to be having such good luck in their love lives (whether there’s feelings attached or not) and here he was, unable to find the words to tell his best friend he loves her. It sucked.

“And what are you doing here, may I ask?”

Hearing Valentina’s voice so close to him all of a sudden startled Jungkook. He looked up, eyes wide. She stood with one hand on the bar and the other on her hip.

“Uh, just getting a drink.”

Valentina rolled her eyes. “I spoke to you less than 12 hours ago, Jungkook, do you not remember anything?”

“I do,” he replied, glancing across at her date who seemed super unbothered as he waited for her a short distance away.

“Then why are you here?”

“I just needed to think some things over.”

“Like what?”

“Just things,” Jungkook said, feeling somewhat intimidated by how serious she was right now.

“You know you’re just wasting time,” she said matter-of-factly.

“She’s with everyone else right now, I don’t want to ruin her evening,” Jungkook says defensively.

“I really don’t think anything you say or do could ruin her evening.”

“We don’t know that.”

“Well, yeah but you’re not doing anything about it so how is that any better?”

She wasn’t wrong but Jungkook was convinced he needed to give you time. “I’m just not ready yet,” he sighed.

Valentina sighed too. “Fine,” she shrugged and turned back towards her date. “But you don’t need to think, Jungkook, you just need to do what needs to be done,” she added with a wave of her hand.

He knew she was right but why did it feel so hard?!

Getting the attention of the bartender, he ordered a much needed drink, downing it all almost as soon as it came before ordering a second. At least he wasn’t a light weight. He knew this wouldn’t help his headache but it wasn’t like he was helping himself at all by sitting here and thinking endlessly. Endless thoughts of what could go right and wrong trailed through his mind, leaving him conflicted as he accepted that he wouldn’t disturb your night with this.

Halfway through his drink, someone came and took a seat at the stool beside him despite there being space elsewhere. Looking across, he was more than surprised to see the last person he would’ve expected to see here.

Lawrence only acknowledged Jungkook with a nod before ordering his own drink.

A multitude of emotions went through Jungkook at this particular moment starting with wanting to punch Lawrence in his perfect face, to feeling sorry for himself for being forced into this situation, then feeling sorry for Lawrence because he knew that he got the short end of the stick – at least Jungkook still has a strong friendship with you — and oddly, gratefulness because Jungkook knows what he needs to do now and without Lawrence, he wouldn’t have been forced into it and who knows how long he would’ve gone without telling you the truth (though he had yet to do it).

Saying nothing himself, Jungkook took another sip of his drink.

Lawrence, however, started a conversation. “You not joining the others?”

“Nah,” Jungkook answered quietly. He gave no reason but he didn’t need to.

Lawrence nodded in understanding but said nothing else. His drink arrived and he stayed seated, sipping quietly beside Jungkook.

Jungkook really didn’t care for conversation. He came to the bar for some peace and quiet so initiating a conversation is the last thing he wanted to do.

With all that said, Jungkook’s curiosity got the better of him.

“What about you?” He asked without even turning his head. “You’re not gonna head up there?”

Lawrence shook his head. “I’ll head up a bit later”

Jungkook nodded, wondering if Lawrence would see you while he was there. He could ask him but that would open the doors to another conversation which he didn’t really want to have.

Lawrence didn’t owe him any apology since you’re not really his girlfriend. He did seem to cross a line considering he didn’t know that at the time, but there was no reason for him to say it now.

Just when Jungkook took another sip of his drink, Lawrence put his glass down and looked toward Jungkook, sincerely.

“Hey, man, I’m really sorry for what I did.”

Although he harboured some slight resentment towards Lawrence for what happened, it immediately seemed to melt away in that moment. Their friendship extended well beyond the past few days and Jungkook has never been the type to hold a grudge, especially not when the other person is genuine.

“It’s cool,” he responded. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I did.”

Jungkook only had to glance at Lawrence to see he looked guilty and felt bad about it. “I was selfish and I wanted to tell Y/N how I felt. I guess there was a part of me that wished she wasn’t with you and that was completely fucked up.”

“She’s not with me though.”

It came out slightly harsher than intended, carrying the weight of Jungkook’s own feelings. Lawrence went quiet and Jungkook continued, resigned.

“Honestly I’d say you’ve got a pretty good shot with her, I’d go for it if I were you.”

“Why don’t you?” Lawnrence asked simply, without any curiosity or even peaked interest. His voice held more of a genuine want to help.

“What?”

“Why don’t you just go for it?”

Jungkook shook his head. “We’re just friends.”

“I don’t think it’s that simple.”

“No offence Lawrence, but how would you know?”… Now that did come out slightly harsher than intended. “The last time you even saw us was probably at Sophia’s graduation and even then you were gonna way before the night ended.”

Completely understanding, Lawrence backed up. “You’re right, I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine.” Jungkook cooled off. “I’m sorry too. That came out wrong.”

“It’s alright.” Lawrence sat back in his chair, swirled his drink before taking three long sips to empty the glass.

“It doesn’t change anything though,” he said, getting up from his stool. “There’s a point at which you can pass friendship and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with treading beyond that line.” He put a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder. “Just do it carefully.”

Jungkook stared at Lawrence but Lawrence didn’t linger.

“Anyway, like I said, I’m sorry for everything.”

Jungkook watched as he walked away, the words swimming in his befuddled mind.

Lawrence was right. There was a line and Jungkook knew he was straddling that fine line and perhaps now it was too late to step back. Instead, he should be brave and put everything out on that line. It was easy enough to think with liquid courage flowing through him, that and the fact that you weren’t here right now. But maybe he should have taken advantage of the fact that he was feeling more confident now, he should find you, he found himself thinking. He should tell you he’s in love with you and then whatever happens next will happen. He can’t control that and right now there’s already a strain on the relationship that can only be fixed by the truth.

He should do it, he thought. The thought built up more and more, ushering Jungkook as he pushed himself off the bar stool—

“Where you going, son? I just got here.”

A firm band on Jungkook’s shoulder pushed him back down, contrasting the loving tone with which he was spoken to.

Your dad took the seat which was previously occupied by Lawrence and Jungkook could only stare for a moment as he called the bartender and ordered two drinks. If it was anyone else, Jungkook would’ve apologised and excused himself to carry out his plan of finding you, but with your dad it was simply not the case.

“You like a gin and tonic right?” He asked, after ordering.

Jungkook wasn’t particularly fond of it but he nodded. “Yeah, thanks. “

“How come you’re not with the others?”

Jungkook shrugged, hoping that your dad wouldn’t be able to tell he’d already had a couple to drink. “I just wasn’t feeling it.”

“And Y/N?”

Despite being the only thing on his mind for a while, the mention of you still threw him. “Huh?”

“Is she with the others?” Your dad asked coolly, reaching for some peanuts from the bowl in front of them.

“Yeah, I think so,” Jungkook answered as nonchalantly as he could.

The bartender arrived with their drinks and your dad took his and sipped slowly in silence.

Jungkoon was not uncomfortable around your dad, not in the slightest. In fact, he seemed to have grown rather close to him over the years and appreciated the almost father-son bond they shared. Having spent much time with your family, there wasn’t much he had yet to experience when it came to your dad, but this was something different. He’d never been sat at a bar, just the two of them making small talk over drinks.

Jungkook knew your dad well enough to know that that wasn’t the purpose of this. Your dad is just breaking the ice to another conversation… but what? Surely it had to be about you and that was the only reason Jungkook found his palms unusually sweaty.

After what must’ve been at least twenty more minutes of small talk about the weather and football, Jungkook had emptied his second glass.

Your dad laughed. “I forgot you can take your liquor, huh?”

Before Jungkook could even respond, another drink had been ordered for him and Jungkook willed himself to drink this one slower, wary that he was already more than a few drinks in now though he was grateful that your dad was good at keeping up

“So, what’s the real reason you’re not with the others?” Your dad asked, his own drink replaced with another as well.

Jungkook shrugged and answered honestly. “Just not in the mood to socialise. I think I’d be a bit of a Debby downer so I’d rather sit this one out.”

“That’s selfless of you.”

“Not really, kind of selfish actually.”

Your dad nodded. “A bit of both then.”

Much to Jungkook’s surprise, your dad emptied his glass faster than Jungkook had and didn’t hesitate to order another.

“Anything else for you?” he asked Jungkook.

“Uh, sure.” Jungkook wasn’t sure why he said yes but he did, ordering a whiskey instead.

Your dad pulled his phone out and sighed, muttering an apology about a work issue and Jungkook nodded, not minding in the slightest. But the issue must have been resolved quickly because he put the phone away only moments later.

“It almost feels wrong to be drinking with you,” your dad said.

“Why?” Jungkook asked, taking the smallest sip from his glass. “Because I’m younger than you?”

“Partly. I’ve known you since you were so young, it’s hard to believe how much you’ve grown up.” Your dad smiled. “Y/N too.”

Jungkook smiled. “It has been a long time.” He thought back to the first day he first met your dad and you. He was a shy kid, hiding behind his mom and at the time, you were pretty shy at the time too. It was your mom who encouraged you to ask Jungkook if he wanted to read a book with you. He looked at his own mom for reassurance before shyly agreeing and following you to the reading corner in your playroom. By the end of the night your affinity for him had grown and that was the simple start to your long friendship with more ups and downs than Jungkook could count.

“But at the same time it feels like nothing.”

Your dad raised his glass. “Exactly,” he said, with an agreeing nod of his head. “A lifetime and nothing, both at once. I sometimes wish I could go back.”

“To when we were young?”

“Further back if I could,” he smiled. “Maybe a few years before Y/N was born. Just before I got married.”

“Why then? Jungkook asked, curious. He’d known your dad for so many years and they’d had plenty of conversations about serious stuff and more light hearted stuff, but this was different. He’d not spoken much about his relationship witn your mother, especially not when partially intoxicated. And while Jungkook had seen plenty of the love they shared, he’d not heard much about it except from you.

“When I first met Y/N’s mother—gosh,” he sighed contentedly as though reliving the moment. “She was like no one else I’d ever met. She still is,” he added with a gentle chuckle. “There’s no one else I’d rather spend my days with. I’d give everything I have to be with her. Every minute of every hour, always.”

The smile on your dads face grew, as did Jungkook’s.

“We were young when we got married, you know?”

Jungkook nodded. “I know. 24 right?”

He nodded, the corners of his lips turning up further into a proud smile. “I didn’t want to waste another day without the promise of having her by my side. My friends said I was mad, too young.”

Jungkook shakes his head, knowing how it felt to not want to be apart from someone he loved so dearly. “I don’t think you were mad at all. You were in love.”

Your dad turned, now masking the smile that was on his face as he looked at Jungkook with a mischievous glint in his eye that Jungkook hadn’t seen before. “You know it when you feel it. There’s no mistaking it.”

Jungkook knew that now. He felt it more than ever with you now. But more pressingly, Jungkook realised – your dad knew.

If it weren’t for the drinks he’d had, Jungkook might have felt embarrassed.

In quiet admittance, Jungkook sighed. “I know.”

Your dad smiled. “You shouldn’t let this time get away from you, Jungkook. You’re young with a life to live. Do it with love and without regrets.

Jungkook nodded, feeling a tumultuous swirl of emotions inside. “I will,” he said, feeling more certain now than he had before, but he knew his head wasn’t in the right place to do this. First he ought to sober up…

There was a gentle pat on his back from your dad. “Good.” He flagged the bartender down for what felt like too many times to Jungkook. “But first another drink with me.”

“Sure.” Jungkook felt his words slur slightly. Then the cogs in his brain which were turning a little slower raised a question in his mind. his eyes narrowed and he turned to your dad. “Wait, is this a test?”

Your dad laughed. “I’ve always liked you Jungkook.”

“Me too.” Jungkook smiled though he still looked wary.

“Good.” Your dad returned the smile with even more fondness. “And no, it’s not a test. Let’s drink.”

So Jungkook stayed.

note. how are you finding it? :) let me know xoxoxo link for part 3 here

more song recs: lose control — meduza & becky hill & goodboys tenerife sea — ed sheeran i'm a mess — ed sheeran so good (stripped) — halsey crazy what love can do — david guetta & becky hill & ella henderson

#jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook #jjk fanfic #bts fanfic #jjk x you #bts x reader #jungkook oneshot #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook smut

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beardedjoel · 1 year ago

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pretty little wife | morning glory

joel x f!reader one shot collection

part two of pretty little wife — can be read independently series masterlist | main masterlist | ao3 summary: 4.3k words — saturday mornings in the miller household are for a few things only, and most of them include joel making his wife come as many times as he damn well pleases. | no apocalypse au, no use of y/n warnings: 18+ MDNI! pre-established relationship/dynamic, unprotected piv, rough sex, free use kink, sub/dom relationship, oral sex (f receiving), overstimulation, dirty talk, pet names for reader, cute husband joel, generally extremely submissive reader so if you're into that this is for you! a/n: i'm literally so blown away by the attention the first part of this got like WOW i'm so glad you all loved reading it as much as i did writing it! here's another snippet in their domestic bliss, and stay tuned for some ~interesting~ developments in the next part

i've decided to start a kofi in case anyone wants to consider a small donation to support my work! ♡

As much as you love Friday nights, the day Joel comes home pent up from a week of work and fucks it all out onto you, you love Saturday mornings even more.

Saturdays are for you Joel always says, and he starts this particular Saturday by waking you with kisses on the forehead and a fresh, steaming cup of coffee on your nightstand, one you can smell before you can even see it. He insists that after a long week of making meals, keeping the house spotless, your book club, nurturing your friendships, and keeping up with his insatiable need for you, you deserve one morning that’s completely for you, where Joel is happy to service you in multitudes.

You grumble and squeeze your eyes shut tighter as you feel his lips press onto your cheek again, and Joel laughs at your insolence.

“Know y’don’t like to sleep past eight, honey,” Joel comments as you continue to resist his attempts to wake you up.

“I knoooow,” you whine. “Mostly your fault I was up so late,” you add on, grumbling and recalling the way Joel had kept you up, insisting he keep filling you over and over. From the moment he got home until late in the night, somehow he’d managed to come three times, torturously edging you then making you come between them. Some days you truly wonder where the hell he gets the stamina from, how a man of his age can act like he’s twenty years old some nights. Anytime you ask, he just says that you make him absolutely fucking crazy, nothing more to it. It’s a miracle the two of you found each other, someone that can keep up with him just as well as he can with you.

“You’d like it better if I didn’t fuck you when I want then, hm? Get you all fucked out like last night?” he asks, his voice with a grating edge that’s between a threat and teasing. You make it a point to peek your eyes open at him finally, letting him see the fear in them at that prospect.

“N-no,” you shake your head wildly, eyes going wider as you fully wake up. “Of course not.”

“Thought so,” he says before leaning forward to kiss you, a sly smile dancing on his lips as you look over at him, perched on the bed next to you. He’s laying on his side, propped up on one elbow as he takes you in, his eyes full of mischief as they tend to be in the mornings.

“You know I have to give you a hard time when you act like you did last night,” you tell him, and Joel considers your words with a grin.

“I know ya do. Wasn’t too much last night, right?“ he asks. You always appreciate that Joel checks in like this, especially when he knows he’s gone further than the average day. And last night… he’d shown you just how long his week had felt, and how much he needed to make up for the lost time he’d had working late a few nights.

You shake your head sternly in reply. “Not at all,” you say sweetly, and Joel’s face relaxes before he leans in for another kiss that you gladly return.

“That’s my good girl. Your coffee’s over there,” he says, head gesturing towards the mug, despite every Saturday being the same with your coffee always on the nightstand when you wake up.

“Thank you, baby.” A flash of a grateful smile from you is all your husband needs, and you can see him melt a little bit at it.

You sit yourself up against the headboard, the sheet falling you reveal the top of your silky camisole trimmed in lace, a beautiful mauve color. Joel’s eyes catch on the skimpy fabric, one strap slipping down your shoulder, and he smiles, his eyes shading darker, watching as you reach for your coffee and start to sip on it. It’s perfect, a splash of your favorite creamer just to give it a little sweetness, and you send a grateful thought into the universe that Joel knows you so perfectly well.

“I see that look you’re giving me,” you say, giving him a close lipped smile over the top of your mug, eyes flashing at him with intrigue.

“How’s it different from any other Saturday? Y’know it’s all about you today,” he says matter-of-factly.

You chuckle and shake your head playfully. “Can’t a girl enjoy her coffee for a few minutes?” you tease him, and Joel makes a quiet, nearly growling sound in his throat before sitting up and moving to straddle your legs.

“Y’can certainly try, but you ain’t gonna be able to hang onto that mug for long, or do much of anything but come for me,” Joel says, and you find yourself losing your breath slightly at his words despite hearing much more filthy things coming from his mouth in the time you’ve been together.

“How many times this morning, then?” you ask tauntingly, taking another long sip from your mug before setting it back safely on the nightstand.

Joel’s eyebrows raise a bit before he slides himself further down on your legs, taking the sheet with him. You shiver a little at your skin being exposed to the air, the only thing covering you being your thin camisole and shorts set. Joel takes you in with hungry eyes, the way your body responds to being exposed with a smattering of goosebumps.

“As many times as I want, doll, y’know that,” he says. His fingers find their way to the silky hem of your shorts, passing the material through his fingers and inspecting it for a few seconds.

“Don’t know why y’even bothered to put this on after I was finished with you last night,” Joel muses, eyes traveling up the fabric until he reaches your chest, where your hardened nipples are starting to poke through the silk. “Just gonna take it right off this mornin’. Maybe rip it…” His head tilts cockily as his other hand slides up your smooth thigh slowly, tortuously. You arch your back slightly, lips parted with an oncoming whimper, showing him how much you want it.

“Am I not supposed to wear all the pretty things you buy me?” you retort back, low and still husky with sleep. “And rip this one? It’s my new favorite,” you say with a frown, trying to sound whiny and desperate enough to convince him to spare this pajama set.

Joel has quite an affinity for coming home with new lingerie and sexy sleepwear for you, strolling into the house after work with a boutique store bag, the contents inside shrouded with pretty paper. He’s given you countless slips, bras, thongs, garters, or any style of lingerie he finds that he wants to see you in. You tear them open with equal delight each time, something to replace the things that are ruined in one of Joel’s many other affinities - tearing your lingerie off of you. Whenever you gripe about it he promises to replace it with something even better. So far, he hasn’t failed, always spoiling you with something gorgeous each and every time.

Joel’s head leans forward, burying into your chest, settling between your breasts and inhaling deeply. “I know… you love this one…” he says, breath hot on the dip of skin between your tits, sending your already hardened nipples straining further through the fabric.

“Maybe I can get the same one, should still be for sale.” He begins kissing the soft skin there, goosebumps spreading across your body as his warm lips clash with the curve of your breast. You can feel his hands start to grip the bottom edge of the fabric, pulling it tight, desperate to rip it off of you.

“Better be. And a new set of panties to match it,” you bargain with him, and Joel glances up with a wide smirk, loving when you show him your more feisty side. His head dips back down, tongue finding your silken covered nipple and flicking it a few times before sucking it into his mouth. You arch into him, moans of his name spilling from your lips. He sucks until you can feel the surrounding fabric getting soaked, and you’re writhing wildly under his large frame, begging him.

“Please, baby… I need it,” you whine out, and Joel pulls his head off of your chest, a string of his saliva still connecting him to your shirt for a few moments. His eyes are lustful now, darkened a few shades by your body’s response to him.

“Need what, little doll?” he asks bitingly, almost condescendingly.

“Touch me, Joel.” Please, please, please. You beg in your head, nearly having to stop yourself from reaching between your legs and touching your clit yourself.

“Be a patient girl for me now,” he counters, and you feel your cunt clench around nothing at his commanding words, desperate for him to ravage you in any way he sees fit.

Joel places his hands on either side of your waist, his lips moving to start work on your other nipple, sucking and biting on it through the fabric. When both are thoroughly abused, swollen and aching from his mouth, you’re sure that you’ve soaked right through your panties to your shorts. You can feel your cunt pulsing, aching, the feeling spreading deep within you as you breathlessly pant, your hips twitching in desperation.

“Fine, fine,” Joel says, breathing out an amused laugh. “Let’s see what you’ve got on under here.”

His hands hook around your pajama shorts and yank them down, exposing the cotton thong you’d put on. Maybe Joel had been right, you should have just stayed naked last night - you’d likely be halfway to an orgasm by now if he hadn’t gotten distracted with all your clothing.

“Almost like you didn’t want me to make you come this morning, all this damn clothing in the way,” he tuts, snapping the waistband of your thong hard into your hip. You wince at the sensation but it only serves to make you even more wet for him.

“P-please -“ you beg, barely able to get any other word out but that same one over and over.

“Baby… jus’ fuckin’ soaked….” Joel muses with an amazed sound to his voice. “Even after last night, just a little suckin’ on your pretty tits get you like this? Fuckin’ drippin’ through your panties, little doll.”

You writhe as his fingers toy with your nipple while he talks, the other hand swiping across the front of your underwear to take in just how badly you’re wanting him.

“Yes - y-yes it does,” you answer dutifully, and Joel smiles ear to ear.

“Wet f’me all the time, ain’t you? Ready whenever I need this tight little pussy,” Joel grits out, giving your sopping cunt a swift slap and repositioning himself between your legs, letting his head dip down. You nod wildly in response, murmuring more begs of “please” as he nears torturously close to your warm heat.

“Need a taste of this, bet you’re so fuckin’ sweet right now,” Joel says, his mouth now inches from your cunt. You nearly cry at the anticipation, hips pushing towards him, your throbbing clit begging your body for any kind of relief.

Joel’s surprises you by dipping his mouth to you, but he licks a strip up the outside of your underwear, dulling the sensation for you. You still moan loudly, so desperate to feel any part of him touching you in between your legs. He continues to lick along the fabric, pushing his tongue down hard to reach your slit through your panties before he starts sucking on your clit.

“Wh- my underwear, Joel… please….” you moan out, mostly incoherent now, feeling a dull pleasure starting to build deep inside of you.

“And let all this go to waste?” Joel replies, sucking the fabric into his mouth just to taste what you’d already spilled out for him. “Don’t think so, darlin’.”

You flutter your eyes when his tongue pokes into your entrance, the fabric adding an extra layer of texture to all the sensations that’s driving you absolutely wild. It’s pulling you closer and closer to the precipice, to the edge where you now sit teetering as Joel’s tongue makes contact with your clit again, rubbing your panties against it as he flicks there.

He groans out loudly at the taste of you in his mouth, the way your panties keep getting more soaked between his own saliva and all the arousal you’re gathering there from the way his tongue is moving on you.

“I’m- oh, Joel, fuck, don’t stop,” you whine, hips starting to stutter into him. You arch your back slightly, chasing your high with just a few small jerks of your hip. “I’m so close…” you say breathlessly, frustration boiling in your blood that you’re not quite there yet. You start squirming needily and Joel moves quickly, throwing your legs over his shoulders and pushing back on your thighs so that your legs are pressed close to your body. You can feel even more how much you’re soaked, absolutely dripping as it slides down onto your ass, the sheets below you.

“Come for me, baby, y’can do it, so fuckin’ pretty and wet for me. Be my good little wife and come for me,” Joel praises quickly into your cunt before sucking hard, pulling your clit into his mouth and pressing a finger against your entrance, pushing your panties into it and pumping shallowly in and out a few times.

You snap at his praising words, desperate to do good for him, to follow anything he wants from you and you finally feel the tension in your belly coil so tightly that it breaks, sending you careening into your high.

“F-fuck, oh, Joel, baby,” you whine out with long, low moans, shaking as your body goes taut and vision goes white. You shudder and writhe into his mouth as he keeps a steady pressure on your clit and moves his fingers rapidly on your hole.

“Good girl, fuck, such a good girl, let’s do another,” Joel says as soon as he feels you coming down, and moves quickly, his tongue darting around the edge of your panties and sliding underneath, one finger pulling the fabric aside.

You nearly scream his name, the overstimulation coupled with his now direct contact with your most sensitive parts has you absolutely reeling. You pant heavily, trying to scoot your body away, but Joel’s hold on your legs is tight, his own tension starting to build underneath his sweatpants.

His tongue buries in you, lewdly lapping and slurping at every last drop of your come that he can as he groans in pure pleasure at the taste. He’s getting more aggressive, his need for you climbing as you rush towards another high.

“Fuck, gimme this tight little pussy,” Joel murmurs, his heaving breaths against your skin. He quickly starts to tear your panties, and through your haze you hear the ripping of fabric and seams, laying with your legs still pressed up against your body, held up for Joel to see between your legs clear as day. You feel like complete jelly, nothing reaching your mind but Joel Joel Joel and the pleasure he’s giving you.

He dives back in after you feel the torn panties laying open and limp against your thighs, his teeth nipping at your clit here and there, sending your hips twitching and little yelps flying out for your mouth.

“Need something’ in here, don’t you? Can feel you desperate, squeezin’, want my big fingers in there,” he says, more of a statement than a question, but you find yourself nodding dumbly, figuring that Joel seems to have known best up until this point, so no use in questioning it now.

He takes the liberty of pushing three fingers inside of you, giving you no chance to adjust, pumping them in and out a few times and then immediately hooking them to find the spongy part of your walls. Your breath catches, and you find it hard to get air into your lungs now between his mouth and fingers ruining you in tandem, making you fall to pieces.

You can’t speak, can’t think, can only chase what he’s giving you and let out pathetic moans and mewls and he fucks you with his fingers and presses on your g-spot. You feel tears brimming in your eyes, sliding down your cheeks but you don’t care, not when every bit of you is on fire in the best way, screaming out in pleasure.

“Hold your legs up f’me, need to fuck my fist to this, all these pretty little noises my wife makes,” Joel commands, and you do your best to keep your legs where he’s pushed them to, finding the muscles starting to tremble with the exertion and your quickly approaching climax.

“C’can’t hold on,” you whimper as you feel Joel shimmying on the bed to sit up and pull his cock out with one free hand, the other continuing to pump in and out of you. You peek down through half lidded eyes to see his cock, so hard and raging with need that it sends a pulse of desire straight through you to your aching hole. You need him inside of you, but most Saturday mornings he’s insistent on just eating you out like this until you’re a limp, sweating, crying mess, not wanting to detract from your pleasure by using your pussy for his own.

“Let go, baby, come again f’me,” Joel coos before his tongue circles your clit again and you melt into the pleasure, letting it wrack your body once again. You hear the slap of his flesh against his cock as he pumps it, fucking his fist earnestly as he hears your cries for him while you come around his fingers, squeezing him to keep pressing on the spot that’s absolutely devastating you.

“So fuckin’ addicted to this, gimme another, little doll, help me finish,” Joel says, sounding nearly manic as he pumps on his cock. “S-so good f’me, Christ,” he murmurs as he whimpers a little at the sight of you coming down from your climax and the feel of his own hand wrapped around his cock.

“Wanna feel you, wanna come on your cock, please… p-please…” you whine, completely dazed now.

“Y’know…” Joel struggles to get the words out, “It’s your turn, n-not about me,” he says with a grunt, tugging hard on his cock.

“It’ll make me come, I p-promise, just fill me up,” you tell him, holding your shaking, spent legs open wider, inviting him in. You writhe at the thought of Joel being inside of you, knowing your fully displayed cunt is fluttering and squeezing at nothing right now, and Joel can see every bit of it.

“Please…” you utter quietly, and that last insistence is what sets Joel over the edge. He’s on top of you in a second, wrists grabbed into his hands and pinned next to your head as he uses his body to keep your legs held up and steady before slamming into you. You yell out in complete bliss as he fills you to the hilt without stopping in one thrust, his cock stretching you mercilessly.

“That what you needed, pretty wife? This big cock inside ya? Get it every fuckin’ day, can’t get enough though, ain’t that right?” he says, unable to stop himself from immediately thrusting into you over and over, chasing after his orgasm. You’ve noticed that Joel can have incredible self control with most things until he’s buried balls deep in you, only then does it all go out the window. You love that power you hold over him, despite giving him every ounce of power to take it whenever he wants.

“Yes, yes, Joel, fuck me,” you cry, “harder.”

“Harder? Want me t’ruin this tight little pussy, it’s all mine, all mine,” he rambles on. “Fuck, c’mere and let me fuck you like I own it.”

He grunts as he pulls out of you with a wet pop, scrambling to flip you onto your belly and slamming back in as quickly as possible, cock hitting you so deep your eyes roll back as he presses your cervix.

You can only make wild, completely feral groaning sounds into the mattress as he fucks into you, devastating you as you see your vision spotting with white from the combination of pleasure and pain that he’s doling out. Your entire being feels supple right now, completely given over to Joel as he uses you to reach towards his own pleasure.

You whimper as your hips grind against the mattress, your sore and overstimulated clit getting even more friction than you can handle, and sure enough, you crash into another climax, your body shaking violently as Joel presses down on your back, fucking you even harder as you squeeze around his length and pull a rough, staggered grunt from him while he pumps one last time before spilling everything. Joel comes hard, pressing himself as flush as he can with your body, and you can hear his ragged breaths coming from behind you while he starts to come down.

You both stay exactly as you are, his half hard cock still twitching inside of your cum soaked cunt, both of you struggling to get a grip back on reality. You only now realize just how tear stained your face is, several stray tears still rolling down your cheek and onto the sheets below you.

Joel gingerly pulls out of you, but you stay prone, even as he crawls up next to you, just laying flat and letting his spill drip out of you, loving the feeling of being so used, so messy for him.

You flutter your eyes open to try to look at him, and you know it must be a sight to behold. Joel thumbs one of the tears on your cheek and then pinches it gently, rubbing his thumb along the soft skin there.

“So cockdrunk, look at ya,” he says with a disbelieving shake of his head.

“Mmmm,” you manage to get out, not even sure what you’d say if you could speak right now.

“I’m gonna run you a bath, pretty girl, then we’ll get you fed.” You can only nod in return, still trying to get yourself back to the present moment as you feel the bed move when Joel slips away. You doze as you hear the water running from the adjacent bathroom, and curl up slightly just before hearing Joel pad back into the room and gently shake your shoulder.

“Let’s go, gotta take care of yourself, doll,” he insists, and you mumble as you open your eyes and start to sit up. Joel peels your sticky, sweaty camisole off, tossing it on the bedroom floor and then leading you to the bathroom. The sight and smell in here is heavenly, and you wonder why you’d even thought about resisting getting out of bed for something this incredible. Fresh lavender scents the bath along with a clean, linen scent from the candle Joel lit on the bathroom counter. Inviting steam drifts off the top of the bath and you can hardly wait to dip your foot in and soak down into it.

“Thank you, baby,” you say sweetly, turning to Joel and tilting your head up to plant a kiss on Joel’s lips. He grasps at the back of your head, pulling your head in even closer for a few long, lingering kisses. He licks into your mouth and you moan quietly, your still freshly fucked cunt unsure if it should ask for more right now, or if it even can.

“You’d let me fuck y’again right here, wouldn’t ya? Cum runnin’ down your leg still and everything,” Joel asks you, and you nod bashfully, avoiding his eyeline, knowing it’s the embarrassing truth of just how desperate he makes you.

“Christ, how’d I get this lucky, huh?” Joel answers with a crooked smile. “Get in that bath, sweetheart, y’need to rest now.” He spins you towards the tub and gives you ass a light smack, urging you forward. You chuckle and decide not to resist, knowing he’s right - your body needs a break from the wonderful man that is your husband.

“Breakfast in thirty, mkay? I’ll make your favorite,” Joel tells you, a final kiss landing on your bare shoulder before you step over the rim of the tub and you turn to see him leave the room.

You hiss a little at the immediate heat of the water, but quickly find yourself sliding down into it, a relieved sigh escaping your lips as the lavender reaches your nose and you lose yourself into the bliss your husband set up for you so lovingly.

After soaking until you’re feeling refreshed and bordering on pruny, you step out and see the outfit Joel set out for you in the bedroom, indicating that he’d had a particular preference for what he wants to see you in today. You smile as you hold up a rather non classically sexy outfit compared to your closet full of lingerie and pretty dresses - one of Joel’s old t-shirts and tiny lounge shorts that barely cover your ass. You throw Joel’s choice and relish in the scent of him surrounding you through his clothing, hugging the fabric tightly to yourself. You bound down the stairs eagerly to the smell of breakfast cooking - chocolate chip pancakes by the smell of it - and think dreamily about what another perfect Saturday morning it had been in the Miller household.

joel taglist: @bbyanarchist

#it's official i'm absolutely losing it over husband joel here #fic: pretty little wife #joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #x reader

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m00njelly2 · 12 days ago

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Hello

This is my little hideaway for my horny thoughts! I’m a 19 year old, born in 2005, from the USA, & bi. You might recognize me from my old blogs @/littlec0ner, @/princessje11yf1sh, & @/moonjelly! I do have a throne list but it’s not currently available but I have a ko-fi if you would like to support me at the very bottom !

BACK UP @m00njelly3 PLEASE FOLLOW IT

DNI

MINORS

Blank blogs

Racists

homophobic & Transphobic people

Zionists

MAGA weridos

What I’m into

Age g@p, daddy k!nk, size difference, strength k!nk, br33ding kink, fauc3t, an@l, r@pe fantasy etc (will add more as I remember & explore)

What I’m not into

R@ce Play, extreme violence, scat, toilet stuff, that animal stuff forgot what it’s called

Disclaimer

I don’t condone anything illegal, if you think/ wish anything about my fantasizes are real gtf off my blog! All fantasizes are between consenting adults with pre-established limits

How to interact with Me

First and foremost, I love interacting with people but I have rules that I asked that are followed for my own personal safety & comfort!

I prefer asks over DM’s: my DM’s get flooded easily & quickly, I’m more likely to respond if you send an ask!

When send asks make sure it’s something you would say to someone you just met, even if it’s a kinky ask the same thought process applies

If I don’t answer your ask don’t take it personally: either I don’t want to answer it, or I’ve answered something like this before, or it’s already answered in this post

If you chose to DM me remember: one if I don’t respond don’t take it personally. Two, I’m not always in the mood for sexting so if you come into the conversation with that energy I’ll straight up tell you I’m not down. Three, if I stop responding, again, don’t take it personally my DM’s probably got flooded again or I’m busy

I do have sessions but there are separate rules for that

Sessions

I’m more selective on sessions I’ll be honest lol

Let me know your blog here on tumblr

I’m more likely to respond if you send something interesting

Featured Tags

Jelly’s thoughts - for all my thoughts

Jelly’s pics - for all my pics/videos

Jelly’s answer - when I answer asks

Jelly’s psa - all my important announcements

Physical Description

5’0 or 4’11

130 pounds

32 DDD

Long wavy/ curly black hair

More about me

I’m a student so I’m not here all the time a lot of what I post is on queue/ schedules

I’m a cat mom of 2

I’m an active person, I weight lift, swim, and hike

I’m a homebody, but still extroverted

I yap… like alot

My hobbies include reading, cooking(learning how to), kpop, anime, marine biology, Star Wars, & DC comics

I’m a virgin lol

Tend to follow back if I think you/your blog is cool/funny or if I like the aesthetic

Ko-fi

If you decide to spoil me ($5 or more) let me know in my DM’s and send me proof, I’ll send you something special🤭 (just make sure I can submit media into your inbox)

#moon’s psa #jelly’s psa

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remyfire · 2 months ago

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I cannot express how much I hate needing to do this. But my finances are down to the absolute wire and I need help one more time to pay not just for Peach's care, but for some of my personal expenses as well.

Peach is my wonderful, beautiful, perfect, sassy, cuddly, loving cat. She's 12 years old, and a few months ago we found out that she is diabetic. I love her so, so much and I will do anything I can to keep her healthy and give her a wonderful life as she enters her senior years, but unfortunately the costs of caring for a diabetic cat are more than I can afford right now.

The good news? I've landed a job! I'm so excited to start this week! But until my first paycheck comes through, the transcription work I do on a contract basis has been increasingly hard to come by and what little I have received can't cover all of my present expenses. Peach needs a vet visit, syringes to inject her insulin, and her vet-prescribed food, and I need help to pay for my commute to work, and I am completely out of options.

So here's what we're looking at. Peach's syringes and food are the above $168. I have also had to purchase a third glucometer for her—yes, you heard that right—for a total of $40. Because my credit card is so close to being maxed out, I can't even schedule a vet visit to apply it until I have the funds, and that's going to be somewhere between $50 and $100 to apply the sensor and do some additional bloodwork.

Then we come to me. I am going to be commuting to my new job via train and the most affordable way for me to do so will be to purchase an unlimited ride pass for the month of October, costing $75. And on top of this, I have my upcoming October health insurance bill that totals around $150.

This all adds up to be between $483 and $533, depending on what bloodwork they will need to do during Peach's vet visit. Factoring in the fee that Ko-fi and PayPal take from donations, I am in need of around $575 at the most.

This is an overwhelming amount of money to ask for. I know that and I feel like shit for doing so. But I am so close to reaching financial stability. I just need a little more help and then I'll be back on my feet for good.

Any reblogs are appreciated! I'm so grateful for any donation, no matter how small. And as always, please don't feel pressured in any way to donate—take care of you and yours first.

#fyi this is going to be queued up several times over the next few days and at varied times of day #so feel free to block the next tag if you would like to avoid seeing them #remy's donations #i feel like i am dangling from a tall ledge and white knuckling the edge and i am so grateful that it's almost over #but i'm making myself sick over the fact that i have to ask for anything at all so please forgive me #fundraiser #mutual aid #long post

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serialkilluh1996 · 3 months ago

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☣Persuasion☣

Mean crush-Konig x Virgin-female-reader

You've finally convinced your inconsiderate crush to sleep with you, but it's not quite to your advantage. However, you were far too desperate to back out.

Warnings: smut, edging, pussyjob, that's abt it. Contact me if I need to add more.

This is old, and written by a minor, so it's probably gonna look weird compared to my other fics.

You had a crush on Konig. Not a healthy, "Oh, I think he's cute" kind of crush.

More of a "I'm begging on my hands and knees for you to let me suck you off" kind of crush. Konig knew this, and gave you a myriad of cute little nicknames for it. "Pathetic", "Lapdog", "desperate weirdo". How romantic😊

He was this tall, buff, massive Colonel, and you? You were just his desperate admirer who lacked self respect and sexual experience.

Even with all the times he'd rejected you and your failed attempts at being flirtatious, you never gave up.

He called it "pestering", you called it "ambitious". You were gonna fight for what you wanted, no matter how worthless it made you look.

Konig looked at you with folded arms as you hovered naked above him, legs on either side of him as you held an embarrassed expression. You had finally convinced Konig to have sex with you. Well, sort of. Certain rules applied.

Rules such as: "You're not allowed to stick it in." He reminds you, letting you know just how far he was willing to let this small arrangement go. That, and he wasn't actually planning on doing anything while this happened. He just sat there and let you do all the work. Not ideal for your first time but you were ready to settle.

You pouted as you looked down at his length.

A solid six inches with a thick vein sprouting from his groin that eventually trailed to smaller veins, the head only slightly exceeding the rest of his cock by centimeters, already glistening and moist from the natural lubricant it produces.

You had always dreamed of the day you'd lose your virginity, with all the deranged smut you read giving you great expectations on what would go down. You weren't necessarily disappointed with what you saw. You were just...unprepared. scared, even. But you couldn't back down now. Not after having to convince him to do this with you.

"It doesn't bite." Konig spoke, catching you off guard. His was softer than usual, but still hard enough for you to know he was being his usual mean self.

Hesitantly, you reach for it, placing your fingers around the top of it. It was cold and wet, and you could feel the veins described earlier.

You winced, laying it back on his stomach, the tip reaching his naval. You sat yourself on top of it, blushing as your entrance became acquainted with the feeling of the veins. You rubbed yourself against it, creating friction between your hole and his rod.

He looks at you with narrowed eyes as you edge yourself on him, carefully rocking your hips back and forth as your face burned with embarrassment. He watched the way your lower lips spread and closed as you rubbed yourself on him, your clit peaking out every now and then. The way your hips continued this forward backward pattern while your legs stayed in place.

He felt you heating up on top of him, silently enjoying the sight of you getting off at just the feeling of him against you. It was cute to him just how desperate you were for his touch. Your hips moved harder as you try to hide your pathetic whines of pleasure, letting your slick lips glide up and down his dick.

You could feel a lump in your throat, the feeling his girth teasingly rub against your hole making you feel uneasy. He could see it on your face. You were eager to meet release, a feeling you've only fantasized about. Konig watched on as you sorrowfully grinded, not moving an inch to assist you.

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loomiskemp · 1 year ago

Text

Retired Avengers Bucky and Steve embrace a quieter life, running their own bookstore. When a sorrowful woman seeking solace from an abusive past enters their shop on a rainy fall day, their mystical cat, Alpine, takes an unexpected interest in her. Bucky, with his ability to read auras, senses her hidden pain. Determined to bring her joy, he persuades Steve to join him in uplifting her spirits, leading to the blossoming of a healing connection that transcends the pages of their own love story.

Rated Mature: sexual themes: double penetration (anal/vaginal) dirty talk/lactation kink) fingering, oral, tit fucking. Mentions of abusive ex/stalker

Rain falls from above. The heavy drops hit roughly against your yellow raincoat, the cold starts to seep in, the concrete wet underneath your black boots. You seek shelter but you can barely see what’s around you. Your mind swirls, it feels clouded with unsaid emotions. You feel lonely, sad, happy, angry– You feel everything all at once. It tires you, makes you not want to leave bed for days. The only moments you have relief is when you pinch the inside of your elbow, the pain providing moments of bliss before blood starts to gush from the sensitive skin.

A year. It’s been a year since you’ve gathered the strength to leave your abusive boyfriend. His name was James. He called you names, got drunk, hit you when he felt like it. You never had a say. He didn’t take the break up well, his obsession with you growing into something evil and sinister. You could always feel his eyes. Even now when the rain hides you, you feel him. You appealed for a restraining order but the court hearing was taking longer than you expected. He was always there, when you left the house, when you were in the supermarket. James didn’t say anything. He just stared, sending an unsettling feeling to the pits of your stomach. You started to go outside less and less, and when you looked out the window you could see him.

Surprisingly enough you weren’t there this morning when you peered down your window. Maybe he didn’t want to get wet, maybe he was bored and gave up. Whatever it was you were happy, you couldn’t run outside fast enough.

The rain continues to pour, looking up you allow the cold drops to hit your face. You giggle as they slide down your neck, going all the way down to your breasts and wetting your bra. The fog clears a bit, allowing you to be drawn away from your thoughts thanks to a faint orange light. It’s warm so you decide to walk towards it, a cozy looking bookshop comes into view, the books in the display are a bit dusty, but you think that it adds to the vibe of the small shop.

When you enter you hear the sound of a small bell right above you.

~~~

It wasn’t a hard decision to make when Bucky asked Steve if he wanted to open up a bookshop. Steve didn’t have it in him to keep the battle going and it sounded like the perfect retirement. Finding the book hadn’t been hard, they knew a bunch of people who were happy to donate and soon the bookstore was open for business. Steve and Bucky found themselves spending more time here than there home. They enjoyed the ambiance, the chocolatey smell of old books, the coziness of the dim lighting of their bookstore.

They were behind the counter when they heard the bell ring. Neither of them looked up, finding that most customers enjoyed being alone during their hunt for the perfect book that called out to them. Soft, wet steps echoed.

With a soft sigh, Steve pushes up his thick framed glasses up the bridge of his nose and hugs Bucky tighter. Sitting behind the counter, Bucky shifts further up Steve’s lap,

his pencil sketching thoughtfully onto the paper. Steve’s lips find the curve of Bucky’s cheek, his mouth moving gently as he watches what his partner was drawing. Right now it seems to be a drawing of the bookshelves that stands across from them.

“You’re running out of inspiration,” Steve mutters into Bucky’s skin. “Book are my inspiration,”

“I’m hurt,”

Steve smiles lazily, Bucky scoffs at his faux offense.

“And what would you prefer my inspiration to be?”

“Me, obviously,”

“You are my inspiration but I can’t exactly have you in the nude in the middle of out bookstore,”

“What do I always have to be in the nude for you to find inspiration?” Steve adds. “Don’t you think I look cute in my sweater?”

“You do. But what can I say, I enjoy studying your naked form,”

The two giggle, Steve nuzzling Bucky’s cheek as the other adds shading to one of the books. Bucky realizes quickly that their laughter attracts the curious look of their customer, you smile and look back to the book you’re holding. Bucky recognizes the book; Conversations with Friends by Sally Rooney. He decides to leave you alone and continues to focus on his sketch despite Steve's distracting words. This goes on for about five minutes, their white cat Alpine jumps on top of the counter, pulling them both away from their conversation.

She meows and jumps down, walking towards the customer. Their eyes follow Alpine, her tail curling playfully as she follows you further into the bookstore. The two exchange brief glances, both of them confused about their pet’s behavior. Bucky stands up and decides to go after the feline.

Bucky walks between the narrow bookcases, he sees you sitting with Alpine purring on your lap. You have a book open in front of you, open to your watchful gaze. Just as he’s about to walk closer he stops. You’re still unaware of his presence and he takes this opportunity to study you. Despite your smiling face, he sees your aura, broken and fearful. Bucky isn’t a fan of this ability of his, it feels invasive. Frowning, he walks up to you, pointing to Alpine.

“If she’s bothering you I can take her?”

For a moment you look up to him confused, then you look down to Alpine and smile, effectionaly petting the white cat’s head.

“No, not all. She seems to enjoy the picture of the animals on the pages,”

Raising an eyebrow, Bucky looks down to see what she’s reading. A soft, reminiscing, chuckle falls from his lips when he sees that it’s Winnie the Pooh.

“My mom used to read that to me and my sister all the time,” he explains. “It’s one of my favorites,”

“Yeah? I’m enjoying it so far. It's the perfect children’s book isn’t it? It’s a bit foolish but reading stuff like this always leaves me feeling happy,”

“That’s not silly at all,” he answers, his smile soft as he thoughtfully observes her aura. “I re-read it whenever I can. It makes me happy too,”

“Glad that I’m not alone,”

Alpine purrs and stretches across your lap, you giggle, your fingers finding that special spot right below her chin.

“I guess I’ll leave you to it, sorry for bothering you,”

“Please, you didn’t bother me at all,”

He nods and heads back to where Steve is. Steve lifts a brow at him, his eyes silently asking what happened. Bucky isn’t sure how to answer him, he’s felt something, and

After leaving you he felt emotional. Steve reaches out and holds his hand, gently squeezing. When he looks back at his partner, Bucky sees that Steve might already know what’s on his mind, even before he does.

“She’s soaked from the rain,” Bucky says.

Steve answers with a smile.

“Then let’s dry her up.”

~~~

You found it odd at first, the way the two book owners circled around you like affectionate hawks. You learned that the first man who approached you was Bucky, and the other man, with glasses with a few grays scattered in his hair, was Steve. For some reason they were acting rather affectionately towards you. Steve sat next to you and petted Alpine’s head while Bucky brought you all some tea. He also sat down soon after. Despite their older age, you noted that they were quite handsome.

Heat licks the bottom of your spine when Steve’s fingers accidentally touch your thigh while petting Alpine, the cat purrs happily.

“So anything specific you’re looking for?” Steve asks.

You name a couple of books, some of your favorite authors for reference, they briefly exchange glances, which prompts you to raise an eyebrow.

“Something wrong?”

“No no,” Bucky chuckles, playfully raising both hands in mock surrender. “We’re just surprised, not many people know of those titles and names. We have the same tastes in books as you it seems,”

“We can show you similar books to those you just listed,” Steve offers, placing his mug back on the coffee table. The sound of soothing rain fills the bookstore. “If you want to,”

“Sure that sounds delightful,” before you pick up Alpine, the white cat jumps and disappears between the bookshelves, you giggle. “I guess she wants to join us too,”

The three of you get up, following the wise cat. Bucky’s knuckles brush against yours and your breath stutters.

“Usually she’s not so fond of customers,” he says, his voice low. Steve’s presence is strong and tall, walking right in front of you two. “You must be special,”

You snort, it’s an unattractive sound so you quickly cover your mouth. “I doubt I’m anything special,” you say from beneath your hand. “In fact I think I might be bad luck,”

“We don’t believe in bad luck,” Steve chimes in, his voice melodic. The air is stifling, it’s darker around you now, the light not reaching this far back. Deep down you want to reach out and touch Steve’s back, feel the warmth of his body to find comfort in it. “But even if we did believe in it, we would never call such a pretty thing like yourself as bad luck,”

A shuddered breath escapes your lips, prompting Bucky to hold your hand. Surprised, you turn to him and he only smiles, squeezing gently.

“You don’t need to be afraid, this part is always dark but the most amazing books are hidden here like gems in a cave,”

Finally Alpine comes into view, she’s standing at the end of a dark brown bookshelf. The three of you walk towards it, Steve’s finger immediately finding what he was looking for. He shows you the book, explaining briefly what it's about and hands it to you. Then Bucky brings you his favorite book, it’s the first of a series. They keep piling book after book onto your arms, the weight gradually getting heavier and heavier. The dust makes you sneeze, and Alpine keeps on walking between Steve and Bucky’s legs. She stands at the end of your feet and meows at you, you’re not sure what the adorable feline is trying to say. You wish you could understand her.

“I think that’s all for now,” Bucky says, almost triumphantly, with his hands on his hips.

Steve looks at you amused, both his eyebrows raised, “You need help with those, sweetheart?”

“Uhh…maybe?”

Bucky mumbles an oh shit as he walks to you with long strides and scoops the pile off of your hands. You feel much lighter. The three of you walk back to the front of the shop with Alpine following. She jumps on top of the counter as Steve carefully places the books into a tote bag. Bucky stands right next to you, your shoulders brushing against one another. You feel warm and fuzzy, a smile tugs at your lips.

“What do I owe you?” you ask, pulling out your wallet.

“Don’t be silly,” Bucky clicks his tongue, pacing a hand on top of your wallet and making you lower it back down. “We’re lending you these. We want you to read them,”

“Well, if the young lady wants to pay…”

Bucky warns, “Steve…”

“Maybe perhaps she can let us take her out for dinner,”

You blink hazily at that, slightly dazed, slightly confused. Bucky smiles from ear to ear, nodding eagerly.

“A date?” you ask, mouth feeling like it belongs to a stranger. “With both of you?”

“Yeah,” Steve answers, his blue eyes moving across your body. “Unless that’s a problem?”

“Nope not at all,” you grin, taking the tote bag. The rain had stopped. “How about at seven?”

“It’s a date,” Bucky says, waving you off.

You feel happy for the first time in months, sadly, when you arrive home you feel the familiar hateful silhouette of James. Fear replacing the positive emotion, you quickly move inside your apartment and hug the books that had been given to you.

Tears wet your cheeks.

~~~

You still don’t know how you ended up with two dazzling men in your bedroom. Well, you did know how but it still was surprising. Your bedroom, you still can’t believe it. The connection between the three of you had been instant, and after both of them taking you out for dinner, well, you couldn’t help but invite them to your place. Deep down you hoped that if James was out there, stalking you as always, he sees you with both of them. You want him to know that you’ve moved on, and in the best way possible.

The two were quick to strip you and lay you upon the bed. Bucky took his place between your quivering thighs, burying his tongue deep in your cunt while Steve occupied himself by kissing you silly. He sucked your tongue into his mouth, teeth gently nibbling on your flesh as he licked the inside of your mouth. Everything was happening so fast. Pleasure rushing up and down your body. Bucky groans as he tastes you, the curve of his nose moving along your clit, making you slicker than you can ever remember. Steve moves away from your lips momentarily, his cock in his fist as he looks down to Bucky. You can briefly see the fire in his eyes.

“Make her nice and wet for us,” he groans, capturing the bead of leaking precum with the swipe of his fingers. “She is going to need it all if she is going to take us both, isn’t that right, sweetheart?”

Bucky hums as a response, fingers suddenly making their way through your folds and sliding inside of you. Steve chuckles when your lips part with a gasp, his gaze falls back to you, thumb pulling down your bottom lip as his smile shifts into something darker. Your pulse quickens at the look. He comes closer to you, stroking himself languidly, he lays the tip of his cock between your lips.

“Care for a taste?”

Your tongue swipes at the slit, his salty taste coating your tongue, your eyes flutter closed, back arching and pushing more of yourself into Bucky’s sinful mouth. You nod, a moan rattling your throat.

“Good girl,” he rasps, pushing his cock between your wet lips. “You need to get me wet too if you are going to take it all,”

Fuck. The thought of them both filling you up made you gush around Bucky’s fingers. He chuckles, scissoring his fingers, he draws your aching clit into his mouth and sucks hard. The feeling is like electricity, surging through you and making you immobile. His tongue swirls around the sensitive nub and before you can relish more into the feeling, his tongue leaves you, forcing a whine out of your chest. Steve’s fingers squeeze your chin, the sting of it urging you to look up at him.

“Don’t forget about me,”

Your eyes go wide as he pushes the rest of himself into your throat. The head touches the back of your throat, you want to gag, your nostrils flare and your throat tightens around him. Steve’s head falls back, the veins curling around his neck popping. His jaw tense and in that moment he looks so powerful, so strong, your head spins, pussy clenching tight around Bucky’s thick fingers.

“I think she likes the taste of you,” he mutters, head dipping lower between your legs. “And I can’t really blame her, however, she tastes even better,”

“I bet she does,” Steve murmurs, he slowly rolls his hips, balls laying heavy on your chin. But, his eyes are glued to Bucky. “Give me a taste,”

Your eyes roll back, goosebumps bursting across your skin. The amount of filth these two men possess will be the death of you. Bucky grins into your skin, teeth grazing against your inner thigh, you clench around him, a shudder clawing up your spine.

“She liked that too,” he drawls. Bucky curls his fingers on more time before pulling out and offering your taste to Steve, who in return licks eagerly around the other man’s fingers. He closes his eyes, moaning at the taste, then his eyes flicker down to you. “Delicious.”

You want to say ‘oh god’ but end up moaning around his cock instead. Bucky grins, gripping the other’s chin, he yanks his head towards him and captures his lips in a heated kiss. Steve’s eyes flutters closed, licking into Bucky’s mouth, he chases the taste of you. His cock throbs on your tongue, precum leaking from the tip. You swallow eagerly, in return he parts from Bucky with a groan, mouthing the underside of the other man’s chin as he pushes him back between your quivering thighs.

“Don’t stop,” he commands Bucky, but his eyes are locked on you. “I want to fuck her as soon as possible,”

Before Bucky goes back down, a brief worry clouds over his face, his gaze meets yours. “You have lube, sweet thing?”

Steve stops and you look up at him confused, blinking heavily as your mind clears up for a brief moment. When realization hits, Steve pulls out, however, he lays his cock on top of your lips; it feels heavy, wet and warm.

“I do,” you speak, voice hoarse as your lips graze against his cock. “It’s in my drawer,”

You think you raise your hand to point, but instead your arm still lays on the bed, only your finger gesturing towards the forgotten bag. Bucky follows, and after a second, he’s right back between your legs, mouth ghosting over your core and tongue swirling around your other hole.

You yelp at the feeling, involuntarily pulling away. Bucky’s strong arms snakes around your thighs, nails digging into your flesh, his tongue moves back to your clit and gives it a tentative lick.

“Do you want me to stop?” he asks, voice stern. Meanwhile Steve begins to stroke himself while observing you, the slick sounds echoing in your ears. You feel so bare before them, and it isn’t just because you’re naked. These two truly see you for who you are.

You shake your head, “No, I want to continue…just– I never–”

“It is alright, baby girl,” Steve says, hovering above you. His thumb plays with your lip. “You tell us when you want to stop and we will. Understood?”

When you are in the midst of nodding, he clicks his tongue with annoyance. “Words,”

“I understand,”

This time when Bucky licks you, you don’t flinch away. Instead you let out a wanton moan, hands cupping your own tits as he spreads your legs wider. You peer down, seeing the way he crowns between your legs. Noticing your gaze, he purses his lips and spits. Making a show of it. You let out a soft hiss, head falling back, you look up to Steve. A whine parts his own lips, his strokes becoming faster, harder as he watches Bucky. You had your suspicions that something more was going on between these two, but now you were certain of it, which in return makes you feel blessed that they are allowing you to be a part of it.

Bucky, completely unaware of you both ogling him, pushes his tongue into the tight muscle. You melt at the feeling, thumb swirling around your pebbled nipples. Soon, his fingers replace his tongue, you’re tighter down there. He groans at the way you clench around him, and while he pumps his fingers in and out of you, his mouth returns to your dripping cunt, cleaning the remains with his tongue.

“Fuck,” Steve gasps, “You look good down there, baby boy,”

Bucky moans into you, the vibrations sensing tingles up your body. With a moment of desperation, you grab Steve’s wrist, stilling his movements. He looks down at you, worried, but that emotion soon fades when he sees the lust swirling in your eyes.

“Want you,” you choke out. “Want you both, now– Please–”

You sound so desperate, so needy, but you’re too far gone to actually give a crap. Steve and Bucky exchange glances. You feel them having a wordless conversation, something only the closest of people can do.

You hate the way jealousy flares in your gut.

Steve lays down, pulling you on top of him, your chests flush against one another as Bucky gets behind you. His heavy cock rests between your cheeks, he ruts against you like an animal in heat, rubbing the precum into your already sweaty skin. Steve nibbles your chin, smiling.

“You ready for us, beautiful?”

“Yes,” you breathe out and whimper when you feel Bucky’s nails raking across your back. They’re teasing you.

“You sure you can take us both darling? We aren’t exactly…small, if you know what I mean,”

You’re on the verge of tears, your cunt throbbing painfully. Your heart sinks into your chest.

“Please– Please give me your cocks,” you beg, figuring this is what they want. “I need you both to fuck me or else I’m going to go insane,”

“Shit,” Steve gasps, cock nudging your entrance. “Such a filthy mouth for such a pretty thing,”

“She’s something, indeed,” Bucky continues, he lays a soft kiss between your shoulder blades. “Since you asked so kindly, we might as well give you what you want. Or we wouldn’t really be gentlemen now, would we?”

You want to say that nothing they’re currently doing would be considered “gentlemanly” but you swallow your pride and bury your face into the crook of Steve’s neck, inhaling his musky scent.

“Please,” you say again, whispering into his skin.

His fingers painfully digs into your hips, you imagine that he probably meant for this gesture to be soothing, but instead it screams nothing other than the need to possess you, which you’re happy for him to do.

It starts off slow. Steve slides into you easily, and it sounds like the air is being knocked out of his lungs.

“So wet for us,” he murmurs, peeling you out of his neck and pressing his lips against yours. He continues to speak between breaths. “How are you this wet already? Did his tongue feel that good, baby?”

“It did,”

Bucky growls at that, his own cock throbbing painfully as pours a generous amount of lube both on you and himself. He begins to fill you inch by inch. You can feel every curve, every vein of his cock. Parting away from Steve, you nuzzle the side of his face, sucking in a deep breath while Bucky goes in deeper and deeper.

When he has fully buried himself into you, his pelvis flushed against the curve of your ass, Steve’s eyes roll back, cock twitching deep inside your cunt. The three of you pant heavily, you feel so full, so satisfied. You can stay like this forever and have no idea how you’ll part from the two men later on.

“Can you feel me?” Bucky asks Steve, slightly pulling back his hips and pushing forward again. “She’s so tight,”

“I can,” Steve hisses, his chest trembling.

“Are you alright, little one? Does it hurt?”

“A-A bit but I’m okay,” you lick the salt off of his neck. “You guys can move now,”

For a moment you swear that you’re burning from the inside out. You have no idea how they manage it, but the way they thrust is like a tortuous dance. You’re brought to the edge on multiple occasions, and pulled away from it again and again. The two men play with each other through you, both of them a slave for another and you’re in the middle of it all, being pulled to one edge from another. Bucky’s movements are calculated, his pacing slow, yet hard. With each grind of his hips, he makes sure that both you and Steve feel his fat cock piercing through you. Meanwhile Steve is more feral, much like an animal, he fucks into you nice and hard, not really caring anything other then yours and Bucky’s pleasure. It’s freeing. You know no matter how they play with you, you’re going to be taken care of.

Bucky’s lips trail down your back, squeezing your ass while Steve pushes you up and devours your tits. He draws a stiff nipple into his mouth, tongue swirling and teeth nipping at the sensitive nip. You scream out both of their names, your eyes squeezed shut as they use you. Your world is spinning, the pleasure mind-numbing and putting pressure on your neck.

“Where do you want us to cum, baby?”

Bucky groans, cock throbbing. “I-Inside–” you say without thinking. “Please– I wanna feel you both,”

Steve’s hand sneaks in between your sweaty, writhing bodies. His fingers rub at your clit, his thrusts becoming even more uncoordinated and desperate from before.

“You first,” he chokes out. “Cum for us,”

You have no idea when you became so eager to comply with his commands, but you do. You bite into his shoulder, a bright white light flashing behind your eyelids as you gush around them. Bucky stops completely while Steve continues to rams his hips up into yours. The man behind you makes an almost painful sound.

“Steve,” this is the first time you’ve heard Bucky whimpering out his name. “I need to cum, I want to cum– she’s squeezing me so tight– Fuck, tell me,”

Before you can understand what’s happening, Steve pushes both himself and you up from the bed. He crashes his lips into Bucky’s, the other moans into his mouth, between kisses you hear Steve muttering out a “cum” but you’re not sure. Hips staggering and stuttering as he spills into you. You feel it. Your head falls back onto Bucky’s shoulder, a moan ripping from your throat as the sensation of his cum pushes you into the brink of another orgasm.

Steve’s eyes roll back at the way you squeeze him, his balls and stomach tight from holding himself back. He can feel Bucky spilling into you. The way you squeeze around him is intoxicating, you moan his name, begging him for more. He’s not one to deny his lovers.

It takes him two more thrusts– After that he’s cumming in thick ropes. Filling your pretty pussy up as you cum a second time. He hears Bucky muttering a string of curse words, his cock still buried deep in your ass. As he pulls out, cum dribbles out from the corners of his softening cock. It takes him everything not to flip you back down onto the mattress and clean you up with his tongue, but he knows by the way you look at him that you might be dancing too close to the edge. Bucky follows suit, slowly pulling out and gently slapping your ass before heading to the bathroom.

“Fuck, Steve,” you say, voice laced with sleep as you both fall back down to the mattress. “That was amazing, I–”

“Shhh,” he says, rubbing your nape. “Don’t think about anything now, Bucky’s gonna clean you up now, then we can sleep,”

You nod, eyes fluttering closed.

“And we can talk in the morning,” Steve continues, smiling up to Bucky when he sees him returning with towels. Bucky smiles back, as he gets back on the bed. “You sleep now, sweetheart,”

“Okay,” you murmur.

If this is a dream, you don’t ever want to wake up from it.

~~~

It’s been a month since the three of you had found each other. You’re stacking books while your gaze peers outside, it’s a foggy day with not many people outside, except for the familiar shadow of your stalker. Placing the book down, you don’t realize your fingers are in the middle of two books, when you slam it down it hurts and you bite the inside of your cheek hard enough to draw blood.

“Hey, are you alright? What’s happening?”

It’s Bucky, it’s always him. He’d told you about his odd ability to read aura’s, you were becoming quite good in hiding your emotions even from him but it seemed like today wasn’t the day. Bucky reaches where you are, softly picking up your hand, he brings your fingers to his lips and kisses them.

“Sorry just got distracted,”

Steve follows, he looks outside, which makes you sweat.

“Who is it?” Bucky asks.

“No sure,” Steve mutters, sliding his glasses up, his gaze flickering to meet yours. “You’re not telling us something. I noticed it you know, how you nervously look around whenever we’re out, or when we’re at your apartment, or even here,”

Bucky protectively pulls you closer to him, his eyebrows are raised with surprise. Apparently Steve had kept that observation to himself.

“Is that true?” Bucky breathes. “Is there someone following you?”

“It’s nothing serious,” you try to ease them both, but by the way they’re looking at you, you know it would be impossible to distract them. You sigh, nostrils flaring. “It’s my ex…James. He hasn’t left me alone since we broke up,”

“Have you told the cops?” Steve steps between you and the display glass.

“I have, there’s a court hearing in place, I asked for a restraining order. It’s likely that I’ll get it but it seems to be taking longer than I initially anticipated,”

“Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” you feel Bucky’s lips tracing the column of your neck, you press into him.

“I didn’t want to worry you. I didn’t want to mess this up,”

“You could never mess this up and you should better to hide such a big thing away from us,”

The next thing you feel is Steve’s lips pressing against yours; It’s rough, possessive, angry. A feeling you’ve never felt from him before. Bucky’s a rock behind you, his own hands traveling across your body, squeezing and pinching every patch of skin. Steve licks the inside of your mouth and you let out a moan. Your body burns for them. The fog is thick outside, no one to enter the cozy shop, the two men pull you towards the back, where there’s a small rug and lay you down.

When Steve’s inside you it’s a beautiful feeling. It’s warm, safe and pleasurable. He fucks himself into you with long, languid thrusts while Bucky devours the rest of your body with his mouth. You feel his tongue on your breasts, neck, mouth, even ears. He takes the opportunity to play with you as Steve takes out his frustration of not knowing the dire situation you were in. He’s angry at himself. It’s not enough that he makes you come once, he needs to feel your cunt pulsing around him again and again. Bucky helps, his fingers moving around your clit with expertise. Slick runs down your thighs and soaks the carpet. The scent of books mixes with the musk of your many orgasms.

Steve comes soon after, his seed warm deep inside you. Pulling out, he replaces his cock with tongue. He pulls orgasm after orgasm out of you, you feel yourself crying, throat hoarse from crying out both of their names. Bucky licks the tear streaks, and moves to push Steve away. The flames of feeling powerless still raking across his skin, Steve comes up to kiss you. His lips are tender, tasting of you and himself.

Bucky, hard and aching, doesn’t say a word as he cleans the both of you up. The three of you hold each other, it’s impossible to understand which limb belongs to who.

You’ve never felt emotion like this before. In that moment you understand that you belong to them.

And they belong to you.

~~~

“Fuck, what happened to you two?”

It’s late. It’s so late that Bucky shouldn’t even be up. Especially since he has to open up the shop first thing in the morning, but of course sleep eludes him entirely and he ends up scrolling through a magazine about greek sculpture “the archaic period”. He has no idea when he got it. He probably brought it in from the bookstore for further inspection. Supposedly you and Steve were supposed to be back hours ago, only leaving for a brief grocery shopping. Sleep slowly comes crawling back at about the fifth page of his magazine, that is until the apartment door busts open. He jumps, then relaxes when he sees that it’s only you and Steve– But panic comes rushing back with full force when he notices your heavy breathing and Steve’s blood soaked white button-up shirt, his glasses fogged up with the heat inside.

Bucky throws the magazine onto the coffee table, making a straight line to you and Steve. Before he can wrap an arm around you to help you up, he’s stopped by you raising a hand. He raises an eyebrow to that, eyes flickering to Steve who looks exhausted.

“It’s nothing serious,” Steve says, his lips slightly curling up which makes Bucky believe him. “We just ran into her ex and I had a little…chat with him,”

“Ran into her ex? Wait, you mean James?” Bucky shakes his head, eyes scrunching close while he tries to understand. “Can one of you speak clearly, what happened?”

“He was stalking me as always…” you swallow, clearly still shaken up from the experience. “I wanted to leave but Steve…He got angry,”

You voice out finally, Bucky notes the way you sound defeated. Worry coils around him, squeezing him tight and emptying his lungs of air. He ushers them both to the couch, still not touching you since it seemed like you didn’t want that. From your aura he has a mild understanding of what you’re feeling, you seem scared, worried, but also happy. Bucky disappears into the kitchen figuring that both of you needed water.

When he comes back with two fresh glasses of H2O, your head is pressed snugly on top of Steve’s shoulder. Skin glistening with a sheer coat of sweat. The way you’re still breathing heavily worries him. Your brows knit together, you almost look like you’re in pain. Steve’s staring at the coffee table, his lips moving slightly as he reads the title of the magazine, then he hears Bucky making his way towards them and his eyes flicker to meet his.

“How’s the magazine?”

“I don’t think that’s where your focus should be,” he grumbles sitting next to you. Bucky places one glass in front of Steve and presses the rim of the other to your lips. You shiver and shake your head. “Come on, you need to drink something– What happened to her?”

The question is directed at Steve.

“We got into a fight. I think she was expecting me to get hurt because I’m old and gray,” he chuckles, slightly shaking you. “But I proved her wrong, didn’t I honey?”

“Yeah,” you finally crack a smile. “I guess James won’t be following me for a while. Finally…”

Bucky can’t help but still feel worried. He’s glad that Steve thought that moron a lesson, but still, he could’ve gotten hurt. His gaze drops to Steve’s lap, who infuriatingly notices his sudden emotional withdrawal. Steve swiftly leans over and touches Bucky’s chin lightly with his knuckles, pulling his gaze up.

“I’m okay, don’t worry. You know it takes a lot more to knock me out,”

Bucky feels his cheeks heating up, a dust of pink coloring his skin. Your hand finds its way to his thigh, squeezing gently.

“I’m sorry, It’s all my fault,” you whisper.

Suddenly your chest heaves, Bucky can’t help but watch the movement like a hawk. Your shirt is dirty, the hem of it ripped and tattered, but he also notices two small wet patches right above where your nipples are supposed to be. His eyebrows raise, disappearing under his curls. Steve’s thumb moves across Bucky’s jawline, drawing his attention back to him.

“Is she lactating?” Bucky asks and Steve follows his gaze, seeing the wet patches for the first time. “How’s that even possible?”

“What?” you look down your shirt, cheeks warm as you see that he was right. “I’m not pregnant, I don’t think at least, maybe it’s because of the meds I’m taking?”

Bucky blinks before answering, he’s deadpanned, mouth dry as a desert.

“Medicine can do that?”

Steve blinks, “Should we take her to the hospital?”

“No, no it’s probably fine.” you shake your head. “Let’s just rest for a bit,”

Bucky’s lips round up into an okay. His eyes flicker back to the stains, they’re bigger now. It feels like puzzle pieces coming together as he realizes what those wet spots are. He hears the blood rush in his ears, cock twitching with interest. For a brief moment he feels guilt for being turned by something so odd. You huff out an embarrassed sigh, looking at Steve before turning your gaze back to Bucky, your eyes softening immediately.

“Don’t worry I’m fine. It’s just– It kinda…hurts,” your teeth gnaw your bottom lip raw, it takes him everything not to lean and give it a soothing lick. “It’s like the week before my period. My nipples get all stiff and sore, but this is like… ten times worse,”

“Maybe we should…massage them?” Steve offers, that usually did help during your pms. “But it’s up to you, baby,”

Seeing how flustered you are, Bucky reaches out, thumbing your bottom lip away from your sharp teeth and lovingly stroking the soft muscle. Your eyelids flutter for him beautifully, a blissful sigh escaping your lips.

“W-We should,” you inhale a shaky breath, Bucky smiles. “Sucking m-might help and well, massaging,”

“Alright then,” Steve mutters. He leans into your personal space, lips tracing the column of your neck as he continues to speak. “We should do what makes you feel best,”

Bucky’s ashamed of how quickly he becomes hard. Uncomfortable, he shifts in his seat. He’s wearing sweatpants, so there isn’t much he can do to hide it. Mind racing, he covers his mouth with his hand, scratching his cheek, an unconscious thing he did just because. Steve’s eyes sparkle at his reaction, his blue eyes a shade darker when his gaze rakes across Bucky’s broad frame, seeing the bulge hiding underneath the thin layer of fabric.

“We don’t have to do it,” you say, oblivious to Bucky’s situation. “I don’t want to cause you guys any trouble,”

“You’re not causing trouble, on the contrary, we would love to help,”

Bucky closes his eyes. He feels strained by the purr of Steve’s voice, his neck clenching and unclenching as he tries to not focus on your leaking nipples. Without thinking he licks the inside of his palm, imagining it was your sweet tasting milk instead– He still can’t believe it.

He’s rudely brought back from his day dreaming when Steve cups Bucky’s aching erection, gently squeezing his cock from above his sweatpants. Bucky makes a choked out sound, hand falling as his eyes flutter open.

“Let’s help our little lady out,” Steve smiles.

“Let’s,”

“Guys, please…”

The desperation in your voice causes both men to turn to you, both of them looking at you worried. Your head falls back and you lift your shirt up with trembling hands.

Bucky’s mouth waters at the sight; your breasts are swollen, nipples erect and leaking. He knows that your breasts tend to get bigger about a week before your period but never this much. Your lips part with a groan, his eyes flickering up to meet yours. You’re looking down at your nips, something between pain and arousal written across your face.

“Just do it– Please,”

It takes only a second. A second for them to pick up their jaws from the floor and attach themselves to your aching nips. Bucky feels Steve’s cheekbones against his cheek while darting his tongue out to draw a nipple into his mouth. A moan mixed with a sigh leaves your lips. His nose is completely buried into the soft flesh, sucking with fervor. Bucky’s eyes flutter closed, a groan trembling within his chest as the sweet milk coats his tongue. The taste tingles his taste buds awake. It tastes like cantaloupe juice. His cock painfully hard in the confinements of his sweats. He feels your fingers scratching against his scalp, tugging him closer. Without even thinking he thrusts his hips, a spike of pleasure ringing up his spine with the almost to-non friction.

“Fuck–” Steve’s voice comes from right next to Bucky’s ear. He sounds very similar to when Bucky fucks into him, a slurp follows. “You taste so good?”

“Really?” you breathe out.

Bucky looks up with his lips still wrapped around your pebbled nipple, he gives it a hard suck, purposefully moaning loud around the flesh. He notices the way your back curves, pushing more of yourself into their mouths. You close your eyes, chest heaving as the two of them sucks on your tits.

“Yes, baby– Tastes amazing,” Bucky slurs. “Does it feel better?”

You nod shakily, nails scratching both his and Steve’s scalp. “More,” you choke out. “Squeeze them,”

Bucky’s eyes flicker to Steve. The other man pulls his mouth back, lips parting from you momentarily and Bucky sees your nipple glistening with spit. Steve massages your breast, beads of milk show up at the tip, leaking down the curve of the plump flesh. Bucky feels something feral awakening inside of him as Steve leans and catches the drop with the tip of his pink tongue, licking a stripe up to your nipple, he sucks again.

Eyes nearly rolling back, Bucky cups himself from over the fabric. He’s pretty sure if he looks down he’ll see a wet patch of his own. He rounds his mouth, licking your nipple back between his lips. His hand comes around the roundness of your tit and starts to massage it as well, his heart hammering in his chest as more milk squirts into his mouth.

Your whimpers and moans and pleas are driving him mad. He can’t help the way his hand sneaks under the waistband of his sweatpants, can’t help it when he begins to fist himself, sucking you harder and pressing the flat of his tongue against your leaking nipple.

He’s minutes to making a mess in his sweat before Steve stops him, curling his thick fingers around his wrist.

Bucky whines, hips stuttering forward, he doesn’t stop licking you, the taste of you soothing his nerves. You tug on his soft curls, another whine escapes his throat but he obliges, letting go of your swollen nip and looking up to you with a shameful gaze.

“Sorry,” he rasps. “Didn’t mean to get carried away,”

His heart flutters when you smile down at him, you seem better now, your breathing even and tits looking smaller.

“You misunderstand, baby boy,” Steve’s soft voice urges him to look at him instead, confusion written in his eyes. “I just thought of something even better,”

You cut in before he can finish.

“Bucky,” you say softly, his gaze snapping up to meet yours. For a moment he forgot all about his fingers wrapped around his cock. “Would you like to fuck my tits?”

“God– Yes baby girl, I would fucking love that,”

Normally, being the voice of reason, Bucky would urge everyone to head to the bedroom where there’s a perfectly comfortable bed to lay in– but not now, not today. All clothing is cast aside. All his reason is swallowed deep down by his lust. He straddles your chest as Steve acts as a pillow underneath your head, which sprinkles Bucky with a bit of relief. At least you won’t be entirely uncomfortable. He swallows thick as his pulsing cock rests between your swollen breasts, you’re still leaking, wet streaks glistening all the way to your lower abdomen. Steve slowly curls his fingers around your throat, slightly tilting your head up so you would face him. Bucky wets his lips when you part your lips, tongue out, Steve leans in to kiss you. A drop of precum heavily falls to your chest, his cock twitching.

You moan into the kiss, eyes dropping to meet Bucky’s. Steve’s fingers dance across the frame of your jaw, hooking his thumb into the side of your mouth.

“What are you waiting for?” Steve smiles, despite what his tone might suggest, he’s smiling. “Don’t keep her waiting, Buck,”

“Yeah yeah–” As if waking up from a trance Bucky blinks. “This…won’t hurt will it?”

“No Bucky– Please–”

He can’t deny you for long.

Bucky pushes your tits together, the width of his cock disappearing between the pillowy mounds. He experimentally thrusts forward– The pleasure he feels is sudden, like needles sticking into his skin and awakening him. He hisses between clenched teeth, he’s somewhat aware that Steve’s fucking your mouth with his fingers, eliciting sweet muffled groans from you but he can’t seem to tear his eyes away from your bosom. He pushes his thumbs into your nipples, more fluid bursting from the sensitive nubs as he rolls his hips a second time, then a third, then a forth–

He knows he’s not going to last. His balls are already tight, the tip of his cock crowning between your tits and touching your chin, a string of precum stretching each time he pulls back his hips. Whining, you pull away from Steve’s fingers and tilt your head down. He feels light headed as you poke out your tongue, sucking on the tip of his cock every time he slams his hips forward.

“You two look so good,” Steve groans, reaching out and squeezing your tits. “Fuck– you ‘bout to cum Bucky?”

“Y-Yeah,” his chest heaves, hips stuttering. “Wanna cum all over her perfect tits–”

You moan when the head of his cock touches your tongue, eyes rolling back. A smug smirk stretching cat-like across his face, Bucky speeds up. His cock is throbbing constantly now, the pressure of sliding between your breasts starting to get the better of it. However, he doesn’t expect Steve to reach forward, pushing his hand between your bodies and cupping his balls. He rolls them between his fingers, grinning as Bucky’s lips part wide with a wanton moan. Beads of sweat slid down his tail bone, his breath choked out. His balls tighten within Steve’s grip and thick ropes of cum shoots from the tip, making a mess of your chest and face. Bucky’s head falls back, whimpering and moaning while continuing to rock his hips. It doesn’t stop. He feels like a teenager at the way he cums endlessly, cock twitching and throbbing.

When he’s finally done he looks down at you, chest rattling with hitched breaths. You look completely dazed, moaning around Steve’s fingers once again as he feeds you his cum. Bucky nearly gets hard again, his gut swirling with arousal. He leans down, cupping both your breasts and kneading them as he presses his lips against yours. His tongue swirls around Steve’s fingers, licks the inside of your mouth, groaning into it when he tastes himself. Bucky breaks the kiss when he feels the wetness growing between his palms, sliding down your body he closes his lips around your nipple again, drinking as if he hasn’t had water for five thousand years. His cock slowly hardening again with your moans gradually becoming louder.

Steve sighs, fingers pushing back Bukcy’s hair, “We should probably talk about what might have caused this tomorrow morning,”

The morning you’re feeling a bit off, your PMS in full force as you stir uncomfortably on top of the bed. Steve pulls you close, the warmth of his hands right above your stomach, stroking lovingly.

“Good morning,” he slurs. “How are you feeling?”

“I don’t know,” you groan, Bucky kisses your clavicle and you shudder. “I think I’m going to get my period soon,”

“Care package time,” Bucky says, lips moving against your skin.

“It’s your turn Buck,”

“I know, I know,” he yawns, stretching before getting out of bed. “See you guys in a bit,”

It doesn’t take Steve long for him to start touching you after Bucky leaves, the door closing with a gentle thud. His hands travel down your warm body. Steve hums as he swirls his fingers around your clit before dipping inside you, feeling the last of his release from last night still coating you.

“Still wet,” he murmurs, crooking his finger forward, dragging a sigh from you. You can already feel a familiar tug pulling in your core, his touch firm as he slips a second finger in, scissoring you open with care. His lips find your cheek, a messy kiss pressed to it, barely a distraction from the rhythmic movement of his fingers.

“Steve,” you mewl, trying and failing to keep your voice below a whisper.

Patient as always, he shushes you sweetly, his other arm shifting beneath you until his large hand is cupping your jaw, tilting your face back and allowing him to kiss you fully on the lips. It’s the perfection distraction, the whine you release when his fingers pull out of you stolen by the heavy sweep of his tongue in your mouth.

The taste of stale morning breath has never been better as you continue to kiss, a lazy press of lips and tongues, low groans traded back and forth as Steve pulls your top leg back and over his hip, giving him room to slip his hard length inside you. It’s not a perfect fit from this angle, but it’s enough to have you arching into him, arousal dripping out and around his thick cock.

His movements are small, barely there thrusts of his hips that still send stars bursting behind your eyelids. It’s more than slow, legs tangled and hands grasping, sheets kicked away, allowing the sunlight to find your bare skin.

Normally, he takes his time with you, ensuring you feel every snap of his hips, each dig of his fingers, pounding into you with a ferocious stamina. He tugs and twists and wrings every ounce of pleasure from you, until the only word left inside your heart is his name. He lets his mouth run away from him, drunk off the feeling of fucking you, every dirty thought he’s ever had groaned into your ear.

But in the morning, he moves gingerly, the sunrise tempering his thrusts and stealing his voice. He pulls you close, and moves inside you, a gentle grind of his hips that fan the flames of your pleasure, but somehow keeping you on the very edge of languid.

You move together softly, little gasps and hushed moans breathed into each other as you cling helplessly to the moment. The end is looming close, both of you still feeling the effects of last night tingling at the edge of your arousal. And before you know it, your release is blooming, liquid heat seeping down your spine and pulling your muscles taut. Steve isn’t far behind, his teeth sinking into your shoulder, his cock twitching inside you as he fills you up with his cum.

You do not, cannot move, your heart ragged and stuttering inside your chest. Steve eases you through it, hands tracing the curves of your breasts, lips soothing at the mark his teeth surely left behind. It’s minutes later when he finally speaks, voice still low, though not with sleep.

“I leave you alone for two second–”

Bucky might sound like he's scolding you two but he’s smiling. Steve affectionately kisses the back of your shoulder, his cock softening inside of you. His fingers draw slow circles around your stomach.

“I love you,” he whispers.

Bucky sits back down on the bed, but instead of handing you your usual period care package, he hands you a pregnancy test.

“Just a feeling,” he mumbles softly.

You smile and take it, knowing that whatever happens, they have you. Now and forever.

#chris evans x reader #sebastian stan x reader #bucky barnes x you #steve rogers x reader #stucky x reader

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