#like all of these are seen as imperfections that need to be fixed

[ursaspecter]

I love you crows feet I love you big noses I love you bumpy and/or crooked noses I love you laugh lines I love you face scars I love you chin clefts I love you dimples I love you freckles I love you little line on the tips of noses I love you square jaws I love you forehead wrinkles

[s-soup111]

Make sure it kills me

Paring: Jinshi x (f) Reader

Genre: angst

Tags: , one-sided love, arranged marriage, hanahaki au

“You’re breaking me.” You concluded in your letter. It’s not as if you were going to send it anyway, you placed the carefully folded letter into your locked drawer along with all your other heartfelt paragraphs. What was the point? He didn’t return your feelings anymore. Yes, maybe you did once share small intimate glances, hold pinkies as you walked down the flower garden together. Maybe you did share secret kisses under the softening gaze of the moon-lit pond. Where did that go?

“Was it ever real?” You ask yourself.

Maybe it was. But that was all in the past, Jinshi no longer belongs to you, he belongs to that servant named Maomao. You’ve seen the way he looks at her, with gleaming eyes and intrigued grins. You’ve seen how he gave her his hair pin, you’v seen it all. Jealousy swirling in the pit of your stomach, how pitiful.

Why does he love her? She’s just a servant, strange green hair and a freckled face, she is nothing compared to a beauty like you- you held a graceful complexion, you had an air of confidence not only beautiful but superiority. Just as the daughter of the emperor should. You were perfect, so why doesn’t he look your way anymore? Maybe it was because of how perfect you were. Maomao was anything but perfect, an unpredictable character and lower class. So imperfect but kind.

You choke on something, suddenly you find it difficult to breathe. You struggle in your room but no one comes to help you, all your ladies in waiting are outside by your order. How ironic. You hyperventilate in your own room, coughing, tears swelling in your eyes- you reach out trying to grasp onto something. You fall and your sight fades.

Jinshi is not aware of your falling ill until Maomao is summoned into your quarters. Jinshi knows you will be fine, he is not so concerned for your health as he knows Maomao will fix you some way or another, so he does not find the need to visit you. Not until Maomao ushers him urgently with a sense of panic in her eyes does he start to notice something is wrong.

“The madam is severely ill.”

Jinshi rushes to your quarters as soon as he hears this, you never get ill, so why now? As the emperor’s daughter you have been treated with the utmost care, therefore almost never falling ill. He drags Maomao with him, telling her to fix you immediately, not a request, an order. She’s never seen him this way, not with sweat falling from his face in panic, eyes scanning you with concern, hands shaking. Not the usual flirty, perverted man she’s used to.

You open your eyes, searching around your room for any signs of human presence, you see Maomao sitting next to you, head hung low with dark circles sitting under her shut eyes. She must have taken a long time to treat you, you are grateful. You try to raise yourself but it strains your body, your arms supporting your body are weak and unstable, you let out a dry cough- leaving behind a beautiful pink petal on your bed; yet you do not notice and leave your room quietly.

The moon is bright; yet it is a cold and star-less night, you stare at it for some time before you feel the icy breeze get to you. Your body feels weak and worn. In another timeline, Jinshi would wrap his robes around you, shielding you away from the wrath of the night. You walk away pathetically, not the blood trickling from your mouth.

Jinshi watches you from a distance, he is paralyzed by your beauty, ethereal in the moonlight fanning your pale skin, he watches you gaze into nothing in particular, he sees puffs of smoke leave your mouth every time you exhale. You must be cold, he is too unsure if he should go towards you. He sees you turning to move away, his eyes catches something but isn’t sure what it is. Suddenly, he realizes Maomao isn’t next to you and worries. But this time, he worries for you than her.

You are heard by the maids weeping and sobbing in your sleep, often beseeching Jinshi to come home, the life left your body, only leaving some empty shell, your body pained and ached, vomiting blood and pretty pink petals, your health declined to the point you could not manage your household affairs and Jinshi was forced to take over. Jinshi visited your room as much as he allowed himself to; he watched your weak frame struggle to breathe as more tears rolled down your face.

For some reason his heart ached to see you like this, he thought he’d lost feelings years ago. Maybe his heart just didn’t want to let you go.

“Beloved..?” You reach out one night. Jinshi is nose-deep into his work as he hears your voice. He turns around abruptly, heart hammering in his chest. You looked enthralling even deeply ill. Though, you had tears staining your face, “Jinshi, please.” You cried. You coughed, spitting out flowers that tasted bitter on your tongue.

“You’re breaking me, please stop this my love,”

“You know I can’t do that,”

“Then kiss me. Kiss me like you love me, tell me you love me even if you have to lie.”

“I love you.”

You look at him, the ache in your heart has not gone.

“You’re merciless.”

[amaranthineghost]

| DARLING, OUR STARS ARE DYING, BUT WE'VE STILL YEARS LEFT TO BURN ( lando norris. ) |

ꕥ pairing: lando x reader

ꕥ parts: 2

ꕥ summary: their relationship is dying while their love burns strong, yet they're unsure if they can save themselves.

ꕥ authors note: I have an idea for a part two, so if anyone wants a continuation of what happens, let me know :3

ꕥ warnings: it's just sad. minor implications of sex, but mostly angst and heartbreak.

SOMETHING WAS WRONG. they hadn't known what, but something was off in their relationship. for years, they'd loved each other, and no doubt they still did. they'd spent every waking moment they could with each other, but they hadn't realized their relationship had grown stale, unchanging for years.

it puzzled them because the love they had for each other still burned strong, but their relationship is dying.

they'd find themselves spending less time with their lover, more time with their friends in separate nightclubs across monaco. though their relationship lacked excitement, they would never seek it out in other people. because at the end of the day, they'd find their way home, drunkenly stumbling through the door of their apartment and back into each other's arms.

they found themselves depending less on the other for entertainment and companionship. their love wasn't dead, but their relationship felt like it.

when sitting right next to each other at the dinner table changed to sitting at opposite ends. when they'd make a mess in the kitchen to cook a dinner to share between them changed to making separate meals at different times.

though they were still young, it felt like life had finally caught them as they got entangled in their careers. he traveled the world, she stayed in the comfort of their apartment. maybe it was lacking. lacking the naivety of their youth that created the spark of their relationship.

because when he was home for odd weeks during the year, he was always out. from the crack of dawn till the sun set on the other side of the sky, he'd be out exercising with his trainer, having dinners with his team, or just clubbing.

and she'd barely attend his races now, her presence unseen in the paddock, causing numerous rumors to surface and plague the internet. because when they'd be seen in public together, which was a rare occurrence now, they wouldn't have a single touch to connect them.

the internet had realized their status before they had. nobody knew why they'd changed, not even the couple that had been through thick and thin. they couldn't imagine being apart, but it was like they were bored.

they didn't know what to do. they'd been through countless struggles together, finding solutions in the dark. but they had no flame to light their path this time.

it killed them. they wanted so badly to revive their love, but they didn't know how. they knew they needed to talk, but they were never around anymore. they didn't even sleep in the same bed as one another.

it was often they could find themselves with eyes wandering their wall with pictures framed, a few crooked that she would pester and nag him to no end to fix. he never would. the imperfect perfectness every time he looked between their faces, eyes crinkled with smiles caused a sad one to take it's form on his face.

he missed the memories between them because they were that, memories. they'd never do anything like that now. no ski trips where he'd spray her with snow with every stop, with her cursing him out all in good fun. because she'd do it right back.

no more lying on beach towels next to each other in the sun, getting tan, though she told lando he never needed to. and every time without fail, he'd take her sunscreen, squirting odd shapes onto her back that'd be displayed for weeks. she'd always slap him for it.

they didn't go out anymore. any attempts to relive what they once experienced were futile. they tried fancy restaurants, but silence with high tension plagued the air around them as they ate awkwardly.

because now it felt like they were back to square one. when he claimed to know her like the back of his hand, he wouldn't be so sure now. it was like they didn't know who they were anymore. they stopped talking to each other because they'd given up. there wasn't anything they could do.

she'd been on their couch, aimlessly flicking through countless tv channels. her eyes weren't even on the screen, and her hand was on autopilot while she channel-surfed. she'd let out another sigh, her eyes rolling over to his office door.

it was ajar, she could see movement from inside the room. she looked longing at it. she remembered when she'd distract him from his work, placing herself in different spots around the room, but ultimately ending up on his desk.

her eyes adjusted back to the tv, shutting it off and tossing the remote somewhere on the couch. she sat in silence for a while, listening to the sounds of him living in another world just ten steps away. because their relationship had gotten to the point where it felt like they were living in different time periods that crossed each other's lives.

they'd barely focus on each other because they didn't have the time. they were never alone together anymore, always in separate rooms, or surrounded by friends.

it pained her, guilt building in her body with every step. her stomach churning with every creak in the floorboards. she walked on the tips of her toes to his office. she hovered over the door handle, despite the door being slit open.

part of her hesitated because she didn't want to do this. she didn't want to leave him, to lose him, but it felt as if she didn't have a choice. remaining a couple benefit neither of them, it only hurt what remained and what remained was merely nothing.

but he was her first love, and first everything. it felt like betrayal to turn her back now, but she's afraid their backs have been turned for months because she can't recall the last time she thought of him as her soulmate. she loved him, but was love simply enough to save them?

when she pushed open that door, she knew she'd never be the same. they wouldn't be the same and part of her was okay with that because nothing's changed. she couldn't keep living like this, she was still young. young enough to meet another person to settle with, which seemed crazy to her to think about. she'd never thought about anyone but him.

"lando, can we talk?"

the hair on the back of his neck rose, dread filling his heart. he'd been waiting to hear those words for months, every conversation, they loomed in the back of his mind. though he hated how much he expected to hear it, he knew it had to happen.

he'd turn in his swivel chair, pen nervously pushed between his lips. he looked at her sadly, already feeling the words yet to leave her lips.

"I think we should break up," her voice broke, caused by the tears that streaked down her face. she hated herself for breaking down, being vulnerable when they both knew it was coming to an end. it still hurt because despite her words, she loved him. she knew he did too.

he didn't know what to say, a simple 'okay' felt too harsh, but the tears in his eyes would've spilled if he spoke any more.

so he simply nodded, muttering something completely inaudible to her, and himself.

she shook her head, gazing at him through her hazy, tear-stained vision, her voice high in a struggled whisper, "what's wrong with us?"

"i wish i knew, darling," he slowly stood, his feet dragging across the carpet on the wooded floors. he stopped in front of her, a sad look across his face as he stared down at her. he noticed how she no longer wore his hoodies, or any of his clothes.

hesitantly, his arms wrapped around her, pulling her into his chest, he knew for the final time. he bit his tongue in hopes of not showing weakness because he didn't want to make her feel worse than she already did.

"i know i promised us we would fix this, but I don't know what to do." he muttered into her hair as he shook against her, " 'm sorry i broke my promise, love."

" 'ts okay."

"but it's not."

"i know." she pulled away, wiping her tears on her hoodie. she sniffled, her nose and eyes red while she gazed up at him, "i'll pack my things, 'ts your apartment after all."

he was quick to shut her down, shaking his head, nearly breaking down as he spoke, "no, I couldn't kick you out." because what boyfriend—ex-boyfriend would he be if he kicked her out onto the blazing streets of monaco? he couldn't do that to the girl he loved so deeply, but he knew he couldn't stay. he had to let her go and he despised it because he knew it was for the best.

"I'll stay with max," he said simply, looking at her desperately with sad eyes, "please, let me just take care of you, financially at least."

"it feels wrong to depend on you."

"i know, but 'ts the one thing I can do for us."

so he left, packed his bags and drove his mclaren far from their apartment, now hers. he looked in the rearview mirror sadly, seeing her standing in the only hoodie he'd left for her. he couldn't see the tears in her eyes, but he knew they were there like they were in his.

he nearly turned around. he wanted to fix this because he didn't want to leave her. she was all he knew and it was like starting over. it felt like betrayal to leave her and find himself in a random club across the city.

but he'd been doing that for months with no issue. it only hurt now that he didn't have an apartment to go back to with her presence residing in it.

he punched the glass of his rearview mirror because it felt like the past staring him in the face. because she should've been in his future.

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

So with some of the takes I've been seeing in the Wandee Goodday tag, I wanted to share my perspective.

Just to note - I firmly believe art is subjective and what we see can vary a great deal based on our own perspectives and lived experiences. I'm not calling anyone wrong, I'm just saying this is my personal take on things. (I feel like this should be obvious, but nuance is so often lost online).

And my main goal with watching QL is fun and escapism. I'm here to have a good time. I tend to go with the flow, I like imperfect characters (I even like the fucked-up ones), and I trust the characterization and plot elements to be doing what they need to do until a problem shows within the narrative itself.

Ok, disclaimers done - here's my take on Dee & Yak's interactions around the fake dating idea.

I think all of their interactions are deeply affected by the degree to which they have already developed genuine feelings for each other, but are not yet in a place to admit it, even to themselves.

Do I think Yak has real concerns about being out as a boxer trying to hit a career high? Absolutely. But I think his quick jump to a "let's end this" reaction was mostly a kneejerk attempt to protect himself for what he felt when Dee, the man he is already emotionally connected to, and desperately wants to be able to kiss, dropped a request for fake dating over a real deepening of their relationship.

We don't yet know the level of societal homophobia this show is aiming for, BL land can go many different ways with this, but considering his brother's openness in the gym that he owns, training boxers, there is a tone being set. Yak literally holds hands with Dee in the middle of the street. He doesn't panic when people recognize him at the hospital. This may change, but I'm going to trust the signposts that his career concerns are valid, yes, but are not the dominant issue between them.

Similarly, is Dee competitive and overly focused on winning? Clearly. It's set up in his earlier conversation with Yak for a reason. But at the same time, his insistence that it has to be Yak is not just about his need to win - again, this is about genuine feeling. He wants Yak. This is a way to get Yak, and to frame it to himself in a way that feels less scary and vulnerable, especially after being hurt by Ter.

I know a lot of people saw Dee as being pushy. I do agree with that, and yes it is going to cause more issues for them in the future. But I wish more people also saw Yak holding firm to his boundaries and refusing to give in to the immature behavior from Dee, showing why he's such a good partner for Dee.

And sure, we haven't seen Dee support Yak as much so far, but the scene with the mother and child wasn't there just for kicks. Dee is empathetic and caring, and that will be important in his relationship with Yak as well. He is there for people when things are at their worst.

Some people see Dee on the bridge as being manipulative.

I saw Dee as finally cutting out the toddler shit and being emotionally real about why he's taking the scholarship too seriously, how sensitive he is to what people think of him, why Yak is someone he trusts implicitly, and how he knows it's not Yak's problem and it isn't fair to expect him to fix it.

Some people see Yak as finally agreeing to fake date as showing he is weak to emotional manipulation.

I see a man who has more agency than that. I see a man who is affected by seeing genuine vulnerability both because of how caring he is as an individual, and because of how much he wants a real emotional connection to Dee. And eyes-open, he makes a choice.

These are two characters who have never just been friends with benefits from the beginning. And the narrative has never been about what they are saying. It's about what they are feeling.

[saruman-the-silly]

Oh hello... I wanted to make a request, I wanted to know how the Papas would react to seeing that y/n is a little chubby. Because I was looking in the mirror and I was so sad about what I saw, and now I'm lying in bed scrolling through Tumblr thinking about making this request... You don't have to do it if you don't want to, It's just that I love the way you write that I kept thinking about it.

I very much want to, thank you very much :D there is nothing, and I repeat, nothing wrong with being a little chubby, or being a lot more chubby! Whatever size you are, you are beautiful, remember that <3

This also gives me a reason to finally write something for Primo and Secondo so thank you hehe

soooooo I present to you, headcanons about the papas with a chubby reader! (gender neutral ofc hehe)

(I wrote this kind of quickly so if there are horrible grammatical errors, I will try and fix them as I find them lol)

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Headcanons: Papas with a chubby reader

Primo:

He's very old, and a bit old-fashioned, so he just instantly thought you were an angel when he saw you. Back in his days, the curvier you were, the more attractive you were.

When he got to know you as a person, he grew to love you very quickly.

All of your curves and imperfections were a work of art for him.

Primo is also such a gentle person, and would notice the instant you were feeling down/insecure. He doesn't pressure you to talk about it though, but he still makes sure you know that he's there for you.

If you wanna talk tho? He would listen really well, and after you had poured your insecurities out on the table, he would assure you that your curves just made you more, well, you. And you were his amore, the most beautiful thing in the world.

Secondo:

He's a serious guy who does not like to talk about emotions and stuff. (I don't think he even knows how but lmao anyway)

Secondo's usually serious and no-bullshit charade was quickly torn away by you and your delightful presence. (He was freaking out like crazy when he first met you, Terzo would not let him forget how he stumbled over his words when he was first introduced to you)

Also, fuck, he couldn't keep his eyes from you. Every time you are in a same room with him, his gaze almost involuntarily shifts back to you.

He loves you. So much. So when you came to him, telling how you didn't think you looked good, he was a little confused. How could you see yourself in such a light, when you had made such an impact on him?

He reassures you that yes, he wants to be with you and nobody else.

He doesn't really know say anything else. But he doesn't need to, his actions prove the endless love he harbours for you.

Terzo:

Ah, Terzo, our hopeless romantic.

Terzo has seen many different types of bodies up close and personal during his life, but not one of them could match your beauty.

Needless to say, when he first met you he fell. Hard. Like, head over heels. Out the door went his playboy days, he only had eyes for you.

He literally worships the ground you walk on.

You had trouble believing him, when he confessed his undying love for you. (Don't blame him he just likes to be theatrical but he really did mean it)

You confessed to Terzo about your insecurities, and he proved himself to be a great listener. After talking, he reassured you that yes, he meant what he said, yes, he wants to be with you.

He would then bring you in front of a mirror, and gently kiss and caress all the parts of your body you are insecure about.

Copia:

He would understand your struggles very well. Having a history with insecurities himself, Copia isn't a stranger to body dysmorphia.

Copia loves you. So much. You helped him get through a lot of his insecurities, so, now was his turn.

He let you vent, while making you a cup of tea, and wrapped you in a tight hug afterwards. You cried in his arms and he just held you and comforted you.

Copia is very direct about his feelings toward you. He lists all the things he loves about you, and tells you how you size just makes you all the more perfect. (the man loves thick thighs)

He would do his best to make you see yourself in the same light he sees you. Copia gently traces over your stretchmarks with his finger, then kisses them and whispers to you how beautiful you are.

---------------------------

Thanks for the request annnd enjoy :D

Remember, you are beautiful no matter your size <3

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Tw: Parent trauma stuff, a vent post because damn my mommy and daddy issues are flaring up during my exams

Yves will talk to your parents for you.

As much as he wants to have you solely rely on him for your emotional, physical, and spiritual needs, he isn't selfish enough to deprive you of the experience of having a healthy and loving relationship with your family. Or at least, have a successful reconciliation with them and move on from the hurt.

He knows that people with good bonds between their initial caregivers would go on to live longer, happier, and have an overall peaceful mind; something that Yves wants you to receive. And it's something he could afford for you, why wouldn't he let the love of his life have something wonderful like this?

Yves already knew your history, the fights, the tears, the anger you held for your parents, and their refusal to admit their wrongs. But he wants you to confide in him organically, he doesn't want to force such a change in you. So he waited, stayed by your side, and observed, allowing you to slowly warm up to the idea of using him as a diary.

He would listen with no judgment, engulf you in a cushion of comfort and solace as you cry in anguish over the painful feelings you harbored for your parents. Yves would stay silent, cuddling you if that is what you needed and pressing soft kisses on your head whenever you're overwhelmed with your emotions. Only when you've calmed down, will he gently pry.

He has to dig through layers of resentment and agony, ignoring the red herrings and false wants. No, you do not truly want your parents to die a horrific death for what they did or didn't do for you, that's not your ultimate desire; try again. It doesn't matter how difficult it gets, Yves already knew the answer but you don't. He's trying to get you to realize what you actually need.

And you just wanted to feel loved, heard, seen, and protected for once by the adults who were supposed to teach you how the world works. You don't even give a damn if they gave you a sincere apology or not, all you needed was their acknowledgment that they were imperfect, you wanted their willingness to change, and them to be there for you while there is still time left. You wanted them to look at the mirror and see all the ugly parts they've been pretending not to notice, just like how they've been holding up a mirror against you all your life and nitpicking on all your flaws no matter how inconsequential.

You wanted to move on. Not alone, but with them. But they're stuck in the past, prickly and resistant to improvement. And it appeared to be a herculean task for you to do alone, an impossible mission, even.

Yves will absorb all of it with a sympathetic gaze, stroking your hair as you lay against him, completely drained of energy yet free from the burden plaguing you for years. Perhaps even decades. He will thank you for exploring this topic with him, it has taken a toll on you. But to heal, is to feel.

He will review all the information he has gathered on you, your family, and their dynamic, past and present. He will assess if this bond is salvageable or mangled beyond repair; Yves isn't going to blindly play family counselor, he knows there are just some relationships that aren't worth saving or not feasible to exist. If it's the latter, he will focus more on enriching your life to dull the pain of the past; it will no doubt always be there, but it will shrink with the joy he nourishes you with. At the same time, Yves would be cursing your family with a taste of his wrath, making the option of death appear to be a more merciful one. You wouldn't know what he did, but all you needed to know is that they're absolutely out of your life.

However, if the relationship is still viable, just severely damaged, Yves would do anything in his power to mend it. Just like how he would sew up holes in your clothes or fix any of your items that are broken with his excellent craftmanship, he would execute a plan to rebuild the bridge they charred.

They still cared for you, but they chose the wrong way to show it. Or they had their own demons to deal with which unfortunately roped you into a hell that you shouldn't have been in. Or that's just how they were taught by their own caregivers and they didn't know anything outside of it. As long as there is that weak pulse of genuine parental care and love for you, Yves will do anything to resuscitate it.

With his vast wealth, he could easily eradicate issues stemming from financial pressure. With his near infinite contacts, your parents have no problem getting the means to survive another day with their disease- they could even receive a cure for it. With his influence, their perpetrators could finally be brought to justice. With his shrewdness, Yves would orchestrate occurrences daily to teach them valuable lessons and correct their viewpoints. He would only make himself known if it's necessary, otherwise, your parents may think they're on a lucky streak or finally maturing as adults. Or if they're superstitious, a sign from a higher power to reach out to you and talk.

However, Yves wouldn't let them open the conversation with you just yet. They have to prove themselves, that they could pass his discrete battery of tests. Even if they did well, Yves would enact one last checkpoint: he would personally pay them a visit and talk.

The atmosphere must be calm, but not too lax to the point your parents feel comfortable disrespecting Yves. It has to be polite, warm, and cordial, but not too much lest they fail to subconsciously perceive what a threat Yves could be. There must be discipline, on both sides, no exceptions.

Yves have already taken their hunger, thirst, and sleep levels into consideration. The temperature, the smells, the humidity, the lighting, and the hormones present in their bloodstream on that day as the smallest variable could throw his entire plan off. As a failsafe, he would prepare cups of their favorite hot beverages and tea-time snacks laced with drugs that would allow him to control the situation better. It will have no adverse effects on their health, it will only serve to influence their mind however Yves sees fit. But he really didn't have to go this far, they trusted him to the fullest as Yves always had their best interest in mind. They're quite fond of him too, so it would be a difficult feat to shake him off their good graces.

It started off with a light-hearted conversation about general topics, just to ease your parents further and to fully prime them for the transition to heavier ones. Some discomfort was expected, maybe they tried to change the subject or divert his attention to something else, but Yves is unwavering. He would be gentle, yet firm. Using his body language and even minuscule actions such as picking his cup up without drinking from it to manipulate the situation. Implicitly reminding them who is in charge of the entire scene. It's almost like a spell, they couldn't bring themselves to leave even if they had a history of running away at the first sign of discomfort.

Yves will hear what they have to say. It's nothing he hasn't heard or seen before, this is only to give the illusion of a fair playing field. But his intention was never to take anyone's side, but to give you what you wanted out of your parents.

Once they're done, Yves would take a sip out of his tea. He would then lay out your deepest feelings toward them, the rage, the sorrow, the push, and the pull. Perhaps they were neglectful without intending to, money was tight and they had to put food on the table. Maybe they went through worse and resented you for having a better childhood than they did. They dismissed your hardships as something trivial, and sent a message that you just weren't that important.

You felt like you were never good enough under their outrageous expectations, you felt like their love was conditional and your worth was tied to what you could do for them. You felt betrayed because they broke your trust by telling your relatives your secrets, you felt like they only had you because everyone else was having babies and they succumbed to peer pressure. You felt discarded when they both divorced, or they remarried and had children outside. You felt less important than their booze bottle. Your views don't matter, only the opinions of others do. You were forced to be another parent for your siblings: children you never asked for. You felt unloved, you felt unwanted, you felt abandoned.

He made sure to speak in a language, pace, and tone they understood. It will be absolutely direct, with no room for misunderstandings and Yves would be happy to clear up anything over and over again.

It's difficult. It's frustrating but achievable. He has to keep a poker face as they try to deflect, defend, and twist. And for each attempt for them to escape these strong revelations, Yves would have something to counter it and ground them back to Earth. No one can leave until Yves thinks the outcome is satisfactory. Let the room flood with tears, let their voice go hoarse from yelling, it doesn't matter to Yves, he has his eyes constantly on the prize.

Eventually, he gets what he wants out of this meeting. Your parents would be as exhausted as you when you first vented to Yves about your relationships. They're finally accepting that they're also human with the most hideous of faults. And also accepting that they have the capacity to change for the better before it's too late.

They passed. His final test, they passed.

He would end the discussion, scheduling another meeting but with you this time. The dates he chose are very strategic, as a confrontation too soon or too late will render their 'training' ineffective.

Yves wouldn't be in the room, at least not visibly. He still has eyes and ears to watch over you, but his conceivable presence will affect the process. It has to happen without his obvious coaching, but Yves has the ultimate control.

You will be tense and they will be on edge, so he ensured that both sides are sufficiently groomed (with or without knowledge) before commencing.

It could take anywhere from a few hours to a few weeks for you and your parents to get on the same page, going through most, if not, all five stages of grief. It is a death of the past, and the birth of the present, after all.

His green eyes will be staring at the screen intensely, having his ears carefully listening to every single detail. Yves would be working tirelessly to puppet the stage, nothing is done unintentionally; not even that one green leaf that blew past the mildly smudged window. Everything happens for a reason, and that reason was Yves's puppetry.

In the end, he would succeed. You and your parents would break down crying, holding each other and promising to do better while they could still feel what it's like to breathe. Due to the tremendous emotional toll it has on each other, Yves expected that you will experience aches on your body. You would receive nightly massages from him.

Slowly but surely, things will change. Yves encourages you to call them as much as you can, likewise, he would encourage them to contact you too. Dinners, lunch, and brunch with everyone would be frequent. You would have the family that you deserved, but never gotten.

And Yves would smile, joining in pictures and conversations between you and your parents. Enjoying the quality time he gets to spend with you.

Your father would sling an arm around his shoulder, while he gracefully crouches down to his level. Your mother would grin and have her hand holding you by your arm as the entire family looks into the camera lens.

Yves is also happy to receive the blessing to experience the domesticity of a nurturing family he never had.

[bg3-bitching]

Re the same 2 conversations happening over and over, I want to submit another recurring theme that comes up so frequently it’s nearly impossible to avoid: the idea that an “imperfect survivor” like Astarion really needs compassion and patience from others—except in the context of this game, this innocuous-on-its-own idea is overwhelmingly framed as “therefore a good person would stick with Astarion through his cruelty and sexual manipulations because he needs to be cruel and sexually manipulate you in order to feel safe, but give him time and he’ll get better!” And anyone who expresses basic dislike for Astarion’s early behavior is told “but stick with him and he has the best development” at best, and at worst, “you must hate stories of survivors who aren’t ‘perfect.’” Where to begin with the conflations and assumptions? As though it’s impossible to be a survivor or care about survivors and not love this cruel, manipulative, abusive character. As though it is never valid for anyone worthy of respect to find Astarion’s early behavior a dealbreaker. As though finding Astarion’s actual cruelty and sexual manipulations too high a price to pay for whatever development he has later is a sign of an inferior moral character in real life. And don’t get me started on the tendency to call holding Astarion accountable for his cruel words and actions “victim-blaming.” In a word, yikes?

Which brings me to another point about this character being less than groundbreaking: “you owe it to a cruel man to stay with him and endure him treating you badly because he’s only cruel as a result of his past suffering and he will get better through your love” is not a new message at ALL. Especially not to women. And while I will give it to the game that this wasn’t necessarily intended in the writing, too often this is exactly what a lot of the gushing about Astarion’s character falls into and regurgitates. It can be a bad time to run into that over and over again, especially combined with other characters being vilified in comparison with Astarion. It can feel as though the efforts to drive home that “you never owe someone who is cruel to you a relationship, it is not your moral obligation to fix them through your love, you are not a bad or unkind person for leaving to protect yourself” is being directly combatted. Even though I know it’s just a game, when the rhetoric about “why Astarion matters so much” takes this form, it can feel really hostile. Rather than expanding awareness and empathy for all survivors, it often feels like another game of “this cruel white man’s pain matters more than other people’s safety.”

(Disclaimer about “not every Astarion fan says these things, just enough to be a disturbing pattern and impact one’s experience in general fan spaces,” etc.)

I have a response to this, but I'm gonna do a separate reblog for it.

This ask by itself needs to stand alone and be seen.

[itbmojojoejo]

A Letter To You / Aegon X Reader

Summary: Aegon gives Reader a shock.

Wordcount: 590

Authors Note: Thank you @arcielee for fixing my punctuation and tense - we both know I'm a messy writer and I very much appreciate your help xox

You held the parchment in shaky hands, the singular sentence scrawled in Aegon’s imperfect handwriting staring at you. 

“I can be anything you want me to be.”

His musical chuckle dragged your eyes to where he sat, swilling his cup of arbor red, his violet eyes raking over your now nervous form. 

“Aegon,” your voice quaked. “What is the meaning of this?”

“It’s exactly what it says it is. I can be whatever it is you want me to be.” 

As he stood from his chair, slowly stalking towards you. You watch as his eyes shift from the vibrant violet of canon lore and to the bright cerulean blue you’ve seen on the television - or did you read that in a fanfic? 

You gasped at his changing form and the lopsided grin now plastered on his face. 

“What is the matter, darling? Do you prefer them to be violet?” He asked, finally reaching you. 

You stammered, unsure how to answer. You liked them as violet when you read the book - it is afterall, the signature Targaryen look even if the tv adaptation does not follow this. “I don’t understand what’s happening.”

“It’s quite simple really. I’m not real.” He laughed, throwing his arms up. “You can bend me to your will, mould me into your desired image, choose and change my morals to fit whatever trope it is you wish to write or read!”

You stare at him with disbelief as he gently took hold of your shoulders, “If you wish for me to be gentle and caring, I will be. If you enjoy the scent of wine lingering on my breath when I lean in close to finally kiss you, you will. If you want that same scent to be stale and off-putting, churning your stomach to the point you want to be rid of my presence, so it will be.”

“And what if I…” You started, weary to ask for what it is you truly desire. 

“Go on. Use your words pretty girl.”

His smouldering look coupled with the rasp in his voice gave you the bravery needed, “I want you to be possessive, obsessive, in fact.”

“Then that is what I shall be.”

The point is - FICTIONAL CHARACTERS CAN BE WHATEVER YOU WANT THEM TO BE, BECAUSE THEY ARE FICTIONAL. 

You want that man to be soft and gooey and lovey dovey - WRITE HIM THAT WAY! SEEK OUT THOSE TYPES OF FICS!

You want that man to be problematic, riddled with red flags but still displaying the odd behaviour that has you weak in the knees even if that behaviour in real life makes you run the other way - WRITE HIM THAT WAY! SEEK OUT THOSE TYPES OF FICS!

You want that man to be pathetic, sobbing, a wet piece of cardboard you need to dry out and provide love and care to so he can recognise he is deserving of it - WRITE HIM THAT WAY! OR SEEK OUT THOSE TYPES OF FICS!

The world of fiction provides us a space to explore different topics/tropes/dynamics. We can literally bend fictional characters to do whatever we want them to do, and we can read the writings of others doing this same thing - and the best thing about it? We can ignore it if we don’t like it, or you can go the “I can do this but different” route AND WRITE YOUR OWN STUFF! 

Try it. Don’t be a dick. Ship and let ship and all that stuff.

[skemford]

Wanted to collect some thoughts i have about the ink demon as a character and what made him the way he is

So here we go, another personal character analysis

1. Backstory/Background

As we all know, the ink demon is an attempt to create real life toon Bendy with using the ink machine

He's the only one known instance of cartoon character being recreated without someone dying (for example, Buddy Boris) or without them being based on real people (Tom and Allison)

GENT and Joey saw him as a failed experiment and they've tried to find reasons for "why" it didn't worked the way it was intended.

It's really important for story's development and becomes one of main forces that move it:

Joey believes that you need human souls to create a perfect cartoon character (explored through batim)

GENT tries to figure out if there's something wrong with the ink machine and decides to start experiments on humans later (batdr/fade to black)

1.1 Isolation

The ink demon was closed off and isolated from everyone while they've tried to find the ways to "fix" him

Joey said that he started this project to create "alive attractions" and BendyLand in batim's cycle has a spot where Bendy (presumably) could've been placed if he was perfect:

which, obviously, didn't happen

It's worth to note that this place can be found at the haunted house which is a part of "Dark Land", location that was later confirmed to be toon Bendy's personalized attraction.

We don't know for how long the ink demon was closed at JDS but it was long enough for some employees like Norman to notice that something is off:

"...Every night, just as I'm pickin' up my coat, there's a deep groan rising up from the floor. One of these days, I'm gonna get my light and see what's causin' all the fuss below me" (Norman Polk, Boris and the dark survival tape)

After JDS went down, he was transported to New Jersey and was closed off again.

Similar thing repeats one more time in 1953 when Joey has started to work on "Joey Drew Studios show" at Kismet Productions.

We have no idea when exactly Joey has decided to 'permanently' put him in the cycle,we can only speculate that it happened somewhere in 1950s.

2. Thomas Connor/GENT

Thomas is GENT representative at JDS and he was directly involved in the ink machine's creation:

"One weird note, the first figure ever created was a failed attempt in the likeness of the character called Bendy" (Thomas Connor, batim ch 5)

In batim ch 5 Joey claims that he saw the ink demon at Tom's office which confirms that he was completely harmless at the beginning:

"...Whatever that grinning thing was I saw wandering around your office,you better keep it locked up tight!" (Joey Drew, chapter 5 tape)

He doesn't say anything about him being violent or damaging their property.

It looks like the way he acts is a consequence of abuse and isolation from GENT and Joey; it's not the reason he was isolated in the first place.

3. Joey Drew

Joey saw toon Bendy as his child that he loved and cherished but the ink demon is seen as "a weird abomination" and "a grinning thing" by him:

("... I'm paying for living attractions,not weird abominations!...")

Outside of wanting to make profit without spending more money than he intended to,Joey is also known to be obsessed with toon Bendy and his design; he sees the little devil as the most perfect work of art the world has ever saw:

"Picture me standing side by side with my greatest creation, Bendy." (TIOL, page 11)

He also notes in TIOL that toon Bendy's creation process was supposed to perfect and he nitpicks every minor detail as important

Joey calls himself a perfectionist on multiple occasions which further explains his disgust toward the ink demon, someone who came out "imperfection".

"...They were swell, I’m sure you’ve seen them and enjoyed them yourself, but they weren’t what I, ever the perfectionist, wanted them to be. Something was off." (TIOL, page 159)

"It wasn’t Bendy. But it was a cartoon character. It triggered something inside me. That deep-down place that held the solution to Bendy’s appearance had finally stirred" (TIOL,page 153)

Shawn Flynn mentions that Joey reacts deeply negatively to bendy dolls having crooked smiles:

"...So what if i went and painted some of these bendy dolls with a crooked smile? That's sure no reason for Mr. Drew to be flyin' off the handle at me..." (Shawn Flynn, batim ch 3 tape)

In Joey's eyes, Bendy was supposed to be 1 in 1 recreation for him to be perfect and lovable; the idea of him coming out off-model was something deeply unacceptable.

He separates bendy from the ink demon and calls the ink demon monster or beast:

“I think you woke the beast.” (FtB, page 247)

We know the ink demon's perspective on Joey only through his minor interaction with Memory Joey in Batdr's ending. After he decided to speak about his love toward Audrey with ignoring second person in the room, the ink demon calls him a "poor excuse of Joey Drew" and crushes to death.

He was never loved after being recreated by the ink machine and this scene can be easily interpreted as jealousy.

Even with Audrey and the ink demon temporarily sharing one body, she was still separated and put above him.

4. Henry Stein

Henry is Bendy's second creator (or "real" one, depends on how you interpret this) but he wasn't present in the ink demon's life when he was 'born' from the ink machine.

Does the ink demon know that Cycle! Henry is not the real deal? Likely he does, it was stated a couple of times that he can differentiate humans from ink creatures (and he senses ink creatures through the ink)

Latest source of this information is FtB, where he easily knew where Archie Carter, person who was experimented on, was located.

“He’s connected to me. I can’t hide and I’m leading him right for you both..." (page 215, FTB)

We don't know the ink demon's perspective on Henry (sadly,they don't have interactions in BATDR) but it can be said that he likely has complicated feelings about him.

The tombstone picnic cartoon (1929) features toon Bendy looking at someone and smiling after seeing them:

TimetheHobo (previous cartoon animator) has confirmed that this shadow was intended to be Henry:

It explains why this is the only one cartoon with a lost ending; after Henry has left the studio, Joey didn't wanted him to be associated with Bendy in any way. But especially when Bendy was happy to see Henry in cartoon's context.

Possibly the ink demon remembers Henry from cartoons? It may be the case but it's based on thin speculations; i won't claim that it's confirmed to be canon. Only time will tell.

5. The keepers/Wilson Arch

After Wilson has decided to enter the cycle and "tame" it, the ink demon becomes one of things he wants to deal with first and foremost.

The keepers, being Wilson's servants of sort, were tasked with capturing him. We don't get context on how exactly they've succeeded but we do have a couple of tapes from them:

" ...Be advised that sedation will not last long. Termination must commence immediately upon reception. Wilson will expect a detailed report of the creature's demise." (Keeper Log 13, Batdr)

Some time passes and they figure out that it's impossible to destroy him, so plans start to change. They decide to include tortures and surgical invasions to try to make him weaker:

"Keepers have administered quarter hourly sessions of physical tortures and surgical invasions to wear down his powers. All of these efforts have been ultimately unsuccessful. A new method of control must be devised" (Keeper Log 26, Batdr)

Which, obviously, fails to work. On their 44th experiments they were able to press him into toon bendy form, which has worked as a 'jail' of sorts:

"...He is smaller in size and harmless in this more timid state. His powers are also greatly reduced." (Keepers Log 44, batdr)

They also state that it was painful for him and under this pressure he has started to express emotions,like crying:

"...Using lengths of steel wire to cut into the side of his body, he now registers emotional responses. There were tears of ink documented. Screams of pain..." (Keepers Log 44, batdr)

Through the game the lost ones did wanted to believe that the ink demon has "died" but they knew that it's not true:

" He said that the ink demon is dead but i saw him. I really did"

Putting the ink demon into a smaller form and placing signal towers around is not equal to destroying him

It doesn't seems like this effect was permanent anyway; Betty says that the ink demon was at the North Wing some time ago, which seems to happen way before Audrey has entered the cycle

Wilson's plan didn't worked from the beginning, he simply delayed the issue that he had.

6. Audrey Drew

The ink demon knows who Audrey is (even before she or the player does), he says himself that ink speaks to him and has revealed everything that it knows about her:

"...The ink speaks to me. It whispers your secrets..."

"... This realm.. is mine. You were born from it... you belong to it."

They have strong narrative parallels through the whole game:

The ink demon was abandoned and forgotten. He's a cartoon mascot who's supposed to be profitable and if he isn't, he doesn't serve his purpose.

Audrey in contradictory was loved. She's human passing and wasn't put under the pressure that the ink demon has experienced.

6.1 The ink demon projects his feelings onto Audrey

The ink demon does understand that their situation is a bit similar, at the end of BATDR he projects on Audrey on purpose. She's the only one person who can (at least try to) understand the way he feels.

Based on that, they do have a lot of things in common:

One creator;

Audrey's relation to Joey is obvious, he created a daughter for himself and refers to her this way.

With the Ink demon it's Joey's presence after his creation, comments and intentions which makes them 'related'. The ink demon=Bendy and Joey saw toon Bendy as his child/"firstborn".

Failed daughters/Audreys were replaced until the perfect one, in similar way with the ink demon being replaced because he's imperfect;

Even if girls demises is not Joey's fault (we genuinely lack context), it's still interesting that it has happened.

It does makes Audrey's existence "a terrible lie" (as the ink demon says) because she doesn't know that it has happened

Their situation may make them feel lonely among others;

One of them is a tall demon among dead employees/more cartoonish characters and another is an artificial human among regular humans. Again, the ink demon's attempts to project on her make a lot of sense.

Other residents of the cycle were manipulated by higher-ups (or created to only exists in the cycle) but before that,they had normal life (or fake memories about it)

With these two, it never was "normal" for either of them, even if their experiences are highly different.

6.2 He's trying to be honest

I've brought it up in my post with Joey analysis but I'll mention it here too:

The ink demon doesn't lie

Him being an antagonist doesn't mean that he has to lie or that you can't trust him. Antagonists aren't always plain evil characters,they can be complex! In contradictory to Joey who's a huge liar,his creation isn't one.

Nothing he says is misleading, neither he intends it to be. He either tells truth directly or projects onto people.

At the moment Audrey is the only one character he has a couple of completely honest moments with:

"He's lying, Audrey..." (about Wilson)

"They promised us peace,but they bring us only more pain" (about Wilson and the Keepers)

He drops the act of sounding threating here and says it as calm as he can. He stops it only after she says "be quiet".

He was shut down when he wanted to do a genuinely good thing in a long time; after that,he won't say anything similar anymore.

7. DR Beast Bendy

The ink demon doesn't need someone's soul (whatever this concept means in canon) to transform, which is backed up by Batim; him wanting to become one with Audrey is not related to this.

The ink demon wants to feel perfect and loved, using Audrey for this (who had almost everything he didn't) is the closest thing to perfection he can do.

He became one with "Joey's greatest creation" only to feel perfect. He wants to "give her purpose" only because he feels like he doesn't has one.

It goes from a really sentimental place which has made this scene look cheesy or weird to some people; but we're talking about 'unlovable' character who was completely abandoned by people

I also doubt that he couldn't fight for control in his own body, resetting the cycle is something that he has accepted at the end of the day (even without wanting it to happen)

8. DR Toon Bendy

Personally I interpret him as one person, there's nothing in canon right now that says that it's Jekyll & Hyde situation.

He's still the ink demon but smaller and weaker,as thekeepers say in their logs. This form is designated as "toon bendy" but it was never said that they were able to create another personality.

After signal towers forced the ink demon into the 'toon' form,he simply walks away from Audrey. He knows that she wouldn't want to see him after that.

If they indeed were different personalities, toon Bendy would have no reason to do so; we know from Buddy Boris that two personalities in one body have different values and don't blame themselves for something another one did.

I don't think that his behaviour was "manipulative" or "pretendious",it feels as it misses the point of his character.

He acts the way people would expect toon Bendy to act, the way Joey expected him to be. He has the looks for it and he can get positive attention he never had before.

People loved Bendy in cartoons. Audrey was happy to see Bendy and wanted to spend time with him/protect him.

I see this as him playing the role that he could never fullfil before. As I've mentioned earlier, even when looking as himself he still has small moments of honesty/vulnerability.

9. The cycle

(based on personal speculations from BATDR)

"...Here, you'll find the meaning in your pain.

This voice line is one of my favourites, i also can see it as him projecting. Possibly he has tried to find the meaning for himself or for why everything has went the way it is.

The cycle is the only one thing that belongs to him, he takes control over it and has no one who'd command him (especially after Joey's death)

He's the most important entity in it and everyone are either scared or worship him.

I can see the cycle as something that also gives him sense of stability/"privileges" which would explain why he was against resetting it even after Wilson's influence.

Outside of this,he had no idea what Audrey would do to him after she'll leave the cycle; she doesn't communicate anything and he was left in the dark.

10. "The end"

"...You see, there's only one thing Bendy has never known: He was there for his beginning, but he's never seen... The End." (Joey Drew, batim ch 5)

I always liked that "the end" reel is his only one weakness. It makes perfect sense because Bendy's a cartoon character and JDS has closed without release of any "goodbye" episode.

But it also makes a lot of sense for ink demon's origins. He saw his beginning but he never got a happy ending.

Every loop ends with the ink demon looking at Henry's face and reaching to him before the reset; it continues in BATDR in similar way.

I've mentioned "The tombstone picnic" (1929) cartoon earlier and it feels like batim's ending was written by Joey this way on purpose.

One huge difference is that in cartoon Bendy was happy to see Henry but in the loop it's written off as a negative thing.

Henry is the one who brought "the end" to Bendy

Studio has started it's slow downfall right after Henry has left. He was way more important than Joey wanted to admit.

Joey has blamed Henry for almost everything,he likely blamed him for this too,so it makes sense why the cycle ends this way; it reflects what has happened in reality

TL;DR:

The ink demon didn't came out the way that was expected but he's still (obviously) is Bendy. After Joey has figured out that it's impossible to 'fix' him, he closes him in the cycle and puts into the role of the main antagonist.

The ink demon embraced this role and doesn't see himself more than a mistake and a monster (which he projects onto Audrey in DR)

~~~~~~~~

I'm always open to discussion if you've noticed that i missed or misinterpret something!

Thank you if you've read it to the end! I really appreciate that you've decided to spare some time for me

Also TY @cr33ping-cr34tv3r for inspiring me to finish it! :)

[tickles-tea]

Glass

Happy birthday to my number one, the light of my life, and the cause of the low numbers currently in my bank account ❤️ This fic is a little different from my usual writing but I really wanted to put something out for Izaya’s birthday so I hope you all enjoy ;u;

Shizuo used to hate Izaya’s laugh.

It was like glass shattering into a shower of sharp edges and unapologetic cruelty, every broken piece expertly aimed to hurt. It dripped in a poison so potent Shizuo could taste it- that vicious cocktail of cyanide and deception. That deception was what made it so bitter, Shizuo was sure.

Because at its core, Izaya’s laugh was completely and undeniably fake.

For all of Izaya’s smirks and snickers, not once did that glee ever reach his eyes. Every smile perfectly fixed in place, every laugh rehearsed and performed, all coming together to form the mask of Izaya Orihara.

As the years passed, Shizuo began to believe that perhaps there was no face behind that mask at all. 

It wasn’t until they’d begun their…situationship…that this belief was brought into question. 

In the darkness of night, hidden between tangled sheets and heated flesh, he found ghosts of sincerity in that mask.

He saw longing in those clever eyes, pupils blown wide with desire and desperation. He tasted restraint on Izaya’s lips where the other would try his damnedest to stay quiet, where he would bite into his own skin to conceal any noise that wasn’t artificial. 

Izaya’s mask cracked during those nights and, with it, Shizuo did too.

It shouldn’t have come as a surprise that the thing that finally shattered him was that same glass-crackle laugh.

Shizuo’s touches had grown softer. Bites were replaced by kisses, black and blue flesh making way for goosebumps over pale skin. He had started to explore instead of devouring.

All it took was one wandering hand brushing a little too lightly over Izaya’s thigh to reveal something Shizuo hadn’t known he was looking for. 

A giggle- sweet and bright and genuine and everything Shizuo had thought Izaya to be incapable of. 

Another crack in the mask had formed and Shizuo desperately needed to see what was behind it. 

His hands were his pickaxe as he chipped at its jagged edges. Spidering fingers climbing up a slender rib cage caused Izaya’s face to scrunch up in a wide toothy grin. Thumbs drilling into the hollows under his arms broke the dam and released a flood of helpless laughter. Despite coming from the same vocal cords, this laugh was so different from the one Shizuo was used to.

If Izaya’s usual mirth was a splintered mirror, this was a stained glass window. Bright, colorful, and refracting beauty like true laughter should. This frantic cackling, irregular and imperfect, was the truest reflection he’d seen of who Izaya could be if he allowed himself to. 

Shizuo knew of crystal clear lakes that played tricks on your eyes, with water so pure that you could see the very bottom without realizing how deep it truly was. He knew, and yet he still drowned in Izaya’s laugh. He let it fill his lungs with each breath and huff of amusement, drinking it all in. It was intoxicating.

It was surprising for Shizuo Heiwajima to willingly dive into the depths of Izaya Orihara. If anyone were to even fathom the idea, they'd be silenced by others for their own safety. Retribution would surely come for them at the hands of either man. However, the thought that Izaya would welcome him in- keeping his hands gripped around Shizuo’s wrists instead of the handle of a blade -was almost unimaginable.

Shizuo had learned that things aren't always as they seemed with Izaya, though. He’d learned that behind those fierce eyes and acidic grins hid a smile so honest that it made Shizuo’s heart clench. If he could believe this impossible reality, was it really so far fetched to think that one day that mask would shatter like glass? Was it foolish to think that Izaya might one day raise one elegant hand and remove it entirely? 

One couldn’t know for sure, but sitting here surrounded by the sugar and sincerity of Izaya’s laughter…Shizuo couldn’t wait to find out. 

[yoonkinii]

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

Baldurs Gate:

Astarion

We Were Human

Synopsis: Astarion died as soon as he became something the world has never seen before. No one noticed the damage before it was too late and the Astarion everyone loved was lost to the new one. No one could notice when the turn was slow and silent. He slowly lost the playful glint in his eyes. Lost the love he gaze upon me with. Lost everything that made him the man I loved. Oh, how I would give anything to get him back. I would gladly give up my damned soul for him.

(Aka you are transported back to the past in order to prevent Astarion from losing himself once more. The only problem? You don't have a lot of time.)

Theme Song: Vore - Sleep Token

"You have become the voice in my head Only recourse we're left after death Your viscera welcome me in, welcome me in My life is torn, my bones, they bleed My metaphors fall short in the end Your flesh and bone welcome me in, welcome me in Are you in pain like I am?"

Pairing(s): Ascended!AstarionxReader

Warning(s): Gore, blood, cruelty, cursing, death/murder, mentions of using oneself unwillingly, abuse. Its ascended astarion, prepare for the worst. (Will be updated as more parts are released)

Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | ...

Status: on hold

Note(s):

For the sake of the plot- Astarion will not automatically be damned from the start. In this world, Astarion becomes lost to the ascension overtime until he becomes the ascended vampire we know him to be in the game. Another note that should be highlighted is that this story will be told from the first person perspective since it benefits the story more than any other perspective.

You will also notice various things being different from the game. For example, Karlach will be able to stay in the ‘human’ world and she fixed her heart. (I love my girl, I’m not sending her back), Szaars palace has a different layout cause the one in the game was stupid. There will be more that you will notice in the future so beware. You notice many things that were not included in the game but it I ensure that it is on purpose and isn't just there randomly. It should also be noted that when I post, I post the raw draft before I go back and edit the story. I do this so I am able to post consistently without having readers wait. I will go back and edit once I am able so if you notice spelling mistakes, I apologize.

Soulless Soul

Spawn!AstarionxAbsolute!VampyreReader

 Synopsis: There he stands, eyes downcast and shoulders caving in on himself. He does not look weary as he was pricked and prodded to fit the standards of his master. He has no idea why he is here- lined up amongst his siblings in the dining hall. His back aches, scars he knows that have not healed properly catching onto the rough fabric of his shirt. He watched the floor, he knew better not to meet the eyes of the predators that lurked before. He doesn’t even look up when the hem of an emerald green dress stands before him.

“This one. I want this one.” 

He does not allow himself the privilege of hope to blossom in his chest at those words. 

Theme Song: Soulless Creatures - Aurora

All the pieces of my body's gone Look at me now and tell me how I feel inside Every pieces that I lost, I have loved

Warning(s):  mentions of sexual trauma, Physical assault, gore, death, panic attacks, cursing, (more will be added as the story progresses if needed)

Note(s): Redacted in case of spoilers. I will upload notes with the first chapter

Part(s): TBA

Jujutsu Kaisen:

Gojo Satoru

Perfectly Imperfect

Synopsis: Everyone is born with a soulmate. Everyone knows by the time they hit age 18, a different kind of soulmate mark will appear. Some are unable to see color until they meet their soulmates gaze, others have matching tattoos. These are the more common ones; ones that can be tracked down in history but others are rare. So rare that there’s rarely any information available about it. Rare like yours and the only case of this soulmarking was dated decades ago with only two lines describing it.

"Person A and Person B afflicted by this marking will discover themselves to be covered in string-like tattoo markings in certain areas. These areas are what the soulmate A or B deem unworthy of themselves; or rather, what they hate about themself."

This wouldn't be a problem for you if it wasnt for the fact that everything from the collarbone to your ankles was decorated in white string-like lines.

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x Reader

Theme song: Bonfire - wave to earth

What color is my sky painted? What color is your emotion? Close your eyes slowly and feel the wind. The bonfire is fading out. Maybe we are falling Falling down with the rain.

amore mio aiutami- Piero Piccioni (literally the song that plays when M/C looks at him)

Warning(s):

18+, Sub!Gojo (gasp!), cursing, mentions of self-hate, discussion of Self-hate, mentions of minor character death- Will be added as chapters progress but if you see something that I didn’t include here, please let me know!

Note(s):

Expect this to be a short fic. I do not plan on having this over 6 parts and even then it could be less or couple chapters more. Depends on how I write everything.

Part(s): TBA

Ryomen Sukuna

Snippets of Love

Synopsis: Glimpses of your relationship with Sukuna through prompts/questions.

Paring: Sukuna x Reader

Theme Song: Heart To Heart - Mac DeMarco

So I had a late Arrival So, we never saw the start of each others lives heart to heart

Notable tags: ModernAU, slight age gap, Canon/Fanon implements, Sukuna still has his tattoos, CEO Sukuna, uncle Sukuna, college student reader, pierced Sukuna.

Note(s): Inspired to do this series based on Kyarrcha fanart of Sukuna on Instagram! I want this to be mostly based on requests about certain moments such as when Sukuna and you first met, first date, and things like that. This can also include certain scenarios or environments. Feel free to send in requests but I will also add in my own takes.

Requests: Open.

Warnings: will be listed in the sections.

You are not required to read snippets in order, but it is recommended.

How y♡u first met Sukuna!

How y♡u met Sukuna again (and got his number)!

First date with Sukuna!

Sukuna letting y♡u doll him up!

Sukuna with drunk y♡u

Jealous Y♡u

Choso Kamo

Echos of Love

Synopsis: Choso is one of the few to possess abilities that transcend human limits. His family was taken away from him and he was given to serve the king. He was trained in nothing else but to kill and follow orders. He was a man made weapon. His name whispered in fear- the kingdom's boogeyman. He hates it though. Hates how his freedom was ripped from his hands. Hates how his ‘gift’ is more like a curse. He is offered a deal he can’t deny- transport the princess to safety in a neighboring kingdom. The only problem is, she’s the daughter of the man that took everything from him and she is being hunted down by unknown forces. 

Pairing: Choso x Reader

Theme Song: my love is mine all mine - Mitski

Moon, tell me if I could Send up my heart to you? So, when I die, which I must do Could it shine down here with you? 'Cause my love is mine, all mine I love mine, mine, mine

Notable tags: FantasyAU, Fanon (I am creating my own world and using some pieces of jjk in it), major character death, (Will be updated as chapters are released)

Note(s): Teehee, I love Choso.

Part(s): TBA

[differenteagletragedy]

Teen angst Our Life Swap AU! I will never stop!

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Positive."

You looked down at Baxter, then to the box of hair dye in your hands.

"Ok, here goes nothing."

If someone had asked you to describe what your best friend looked like, "black hair" would be near the top of the list. You knew he had an issue with it -- he thought it was grey, not black, and so he saw it as an imperfection. Fourteen-year-olds didn't have grey hair, so it must have meant there was something wrong with him.

There wasn't, you knew that. Baxter's hair may not have been jet black, but it wasn't nearly light enough that anyone would notice. Besides, regardless of hair color, he was the most beautiful person you'd ever seen. You didn't know why the color mattered so much.

But it did. It mattered to him, deeply. And he mattered to you. So you opened the box of dye and started reading the instructions.

He was uncharacteristically silent as you sorted all the little bottles then mixed things together. Sitting on the edge of the tub in the upstairs bathroom at your house, an old towel wrapped over his narrow shoulders, you could tell he was upset about something.

Before you slid on the gloves that came in the box, you took one last opportunity to check in on him.

"You sure you're ok?" you asked.

He nodded, but he wouldn't meet your eyes. That's when you sat down next to him and, after a moment of hesitation, reached over and grabbed his hand. He held it back automatically, giving it a squeeze out of second nature, but when he did look at you, he was confused.

A moment of silence passed. You knew he knew that you knew him well enough to see through this.

Finally, he sighed. His eyes went back down to his lap.

"I'm fine, it's just ... I want something to be different," he said quietly.

"What do you mean?"

He squeezed your hand again then slipped it out of your grasp, folding in on himself, and said, "I don't imagine it will come as a shock that I'm unhappy with certain things in my life."

You nodded. It didn't come as a shock. He didn't get along with his parents, he didn't like his private school and most of his classmates there. The only time he really seemed happy anymore was when he was in the comfort of your home, or really just in the comfort of you.

"I can't change so much," he continued. "I can't make most decisions for myself, I'm at the mercy of my parents which is ..." he looked off and scoffed, "not ideal."

"So what's the hair dye got to do with it?" you asked.

"It'll be one thing fixed. One less thing to think about --"

You cut him off to say, "It doesn't need fixed. Your hair. There's nothing wrong with it."

Baxter smiled at you, but there was a sadness behind it. He looked deeply in your eyes, and you knew that he was desperately trying to see himself the way you saw him -- despite his own self doubts, you'd always made it abundantly clear how wonderful you thought he was. He wanted to see it too, and he tried, but he just couldn't.

His eyes fell, and he said, "I believe I'd still like the black, please."

You took one more moment to look at him before standing up and putting on the gloves. You couldn't reach him today, but you felt confident that someday he'd grow to love himself as much as you did, if by no other means than your own dedication to him.

After going over the directions one more time, you got to work. You'd never dyed anyone's hair before, but it seemed straightforward enough. The two of you stayed silent as you went, working the dark liquid into his locks. It didn't take too long to get a mostly even coating everywhere, and then it was time to wait.

There was some idle chitchat, but he stayed quiet for the most part. It wasn't an easy silence like the kind you normally shared -- you were aching to make him feel better, and the concept of "feeling better" wasn't in the realm of possibility for him at the moment. When the timer you'd set on your phone went off, indicating it was time for a rinse, it was a relief.

After a slightly awkward bit of scrambling, Baxter ended up on his knees, his chest resting on the edge of the tub and his head down near the faucet. You pulled the showerhead down close to him, turned on the water and started spraying it over his hair, which was already clearly a pitch black. You stayed like that, not talking but just pulling him gently where you needed him, until the water ran clear.

"Ok, that should do it," you told him as you turned the water off. You pulled out a fresh towel so he could dry himself off.

He stood up, careful not to look in the mirror just yet as he scrubbed his head with the towel. But you could see everything.

The smoky grey you'd always associated with your best friend was gone, and in its place was a flat black. It was strange, and it didn't look like it belonged: what it looked like was an outward expression of the darkness that had seemed to be taking him over on the inside. You didn't like it.

When he finally put the towel down, took off the one around his shoulders and looked in the mirror, you saw that he didn't like it either. Or, as you suspected was more likely the case, it wasn't the automatic fix he'd hoped it would be for how low he felt.

Bravely, he put on another smile at his reflection, then turned it to you and said, "Well, that's something."

Without thinking, you threw your arms around him in a tight embrace. He was surprised at first, then brought his arms around you to return the hug. You weren't sure how long you stayed like that -- you were too focused on trying to press some warmth into him. Something to fight away the sadness.

"Not that I'm complaining," he eventually said, "but to what do I owe the pleasure?"

You pulled back enough to look at him and blurted out, "I love you."

His eyes widened and he flushed bright pink across his cheeks and up to the tips of his ears. You felt your own face turning hot -- no matter how true the sentiment was, it wasn't one you were ready to share with him.

"You're my best friend," you quickly added. "You're like family. I love you. That's all."

After a pause, the corners of his lips stretched upward. There was a little light in his eyes -- for the first time that afternoon, a smile had reached his eyes.

"I love you too," he said softly, pressing a kiss against your forehead.

He pressed himself back against you, holding you tighter than he had before, and that was fine by you. Maybe someday you'd see that familiar, pretty grey again, and maybe someday you'd be able to tell him the real nature of the love you had for him. But for right now, just in this moment, he was right -- this was something.

[bakafox]

"Vote Blue No Matter Who" is triage, not a panacea.

Granted I only am on this one hellsite, but I have yet to see anyone who's saying "Vote Blue" claim that that's all we need to do to fix things or even to staunch the bleeding that the US is doing.

I seem to see people claiming that people are saying that is the only answer, and not a needed part of the jigsaw puzzle that is living in this godawful timeline.

I am just a middle-aged person who is tired all the time, and triply, doubly, tired of what looks like absolutely pointless infighting on the left, from 'just left of center' to much farther that way.

The GOP holds all the power it holds and wins elections because the die hard republicans don't quibble all that much over candidates, and are happy to be single issue voters.

And on the left, people are big mad about whether or not 'harm reduction' is an actual thing that needs to be an important part of any movement, and making bad faith readings and arguments right and left.

I may have made a bad faith reading myself tonight, over what looked on my reading like the umpteenhundredth post about how only privileged and self-centered people can think 'vote blue no matter who' will get anywhere, and making it sound yet again like that's being said as some kind of magical coda that is all that's needed to fix things, when I have never seen anyone claim it is.

I see posts noting that voting is like doing the dishes or laundry, I do not see posts saying it's the only action that matters and all action stops there.

There may be posts like that out there, but I'm maybe naive enough to think it's a great minority and also probably also psyops to a degree.

Unfortunately I do see posts that seem to say that trying to triage the US and that saying "Vote Blue No Matter Who" is a stance of traitorous elites and imperialists who care only about their own skins and that it's mostly ignorant white people using the phrase.

....Despite knowing I follow a number of nonwhite people, some of whom I would call legitimate activists, (unlike myself,) who are saying it's what's needed to try and buy us a little breathing room.

It is breathing room. It's putting the oxygen mask on first before helping the kid in the next seat. It isn't a permanent answer, but in today's time and place, with how the two-party system is rigged, it is the immediate bandage. It's the pressure on the wound.

But the pressure will have to be kept up, yes. People will have to call their representatives and write their representatives and vote in every election they can vote in for even the most incremental change if there isn't a valid miracle option, and right now there is no valid miracle option. People will have to donate time, donate energy, donate funds to causes while also voting.

Someday I hope we have better candidates and a ranked choice voting system with nobody disenfranchised from voting, but the only way to get there is to vote, because bloody revolution is not a tenable option. The left is not organized enough and there's too many people with too many axes to grind against imperfect allies for there to be the right focus on the actual enemy.

There's too much historical record of revolutionaries turning on their own and becoming another bad status quo that needs to be dealt with again somehow, for it to be trusted over incremental change as long as incremental change can be made before taking some bigger leap.

There has to be a running start. Not a jump from a dead stop.

There's also just the sheer technology and arms gap as well as distance gap between what any cells of leftist 'freedom fighters' in the US versus a fully Republican controlled military. The tactics would be hell even if somehow everyone could be provided immediately with weapons and training and that the idea of having to live in a world where everyone has to be willing to use weapons and take lives is kinda hellish in and of itself.

What countries are we going to get aid from? What governments are promising the US left help if Trump wins?

Vote Blue No Matter Who rhymes, it's catchy, maybe that also leads to people distrusting it. I don't know. But it is one step to take, and an important one until there is enough of a shift, and both sides are not the same. They just aren't.

[firehose118]

thank you for writing let the world we dream about be the one we live in now the fandom really needed this fic. and also the fandom should really read this fic.

Oh my gosh thank you!!! 🥰🥰💕💕 sorry for writing a small novel here but I have some strong feelings about this! I hope you don’t mind.

That fic is one of my favorite things I’ve ever written honestly. Immediately post-7x06 there were sooooo many fics where the Buckley parents were homophobic towards Buck and it just didn’t sit right with me. Writing/reading about defending against homophobes can be healing but like… why does there need to be homophobia in the first place?

These are complicated characters with complicated pasts and relationships to each other. I am far from a Buckley parent defender but I also refuse to be a basher. They’re imperfect. They traumatized their kids. They’ll never fix that or make up for it truly, but they’re trying to be better going forward. Maddie and Buck both want them in their lives. We can like that or dislike that, but that’s a canon fact.

It’s taken me a while to come around to this but a central theme of 9-1-1 is fucking up irreparably and having to move forward and try to do better anyway. Bobby is the tentpole character for this theme, but we see it with Tommy and (soon) Eddie and, controversially, the Buckley parents. If you reduce the Buckley parents to their worst actions, you have to do the same for these other characters. If you extend these other characters grace, you have to do the same for the Buckley parents. Because they’re trying.

I know fandoms increasingly want characters to be good or bad with no nuance or complications, but that’s not how life works. It’s very juvenile. It flattens the themes of this show. You don’t have to like the Buckley parents. I don’t. I think the show handled their redemption arc poorly. But to hang on to hate and vitriol over past mistakes made out of grief and pain when the characters are intentionally trying to be better just feels petty. And we’re all adults here, right?

Also I just want Buck to be happy. His sister got married, he has a great boyfriend. Why can’t he have a strained and awkward and touchy yet generally positive relationship with his parents too? He just wants to be loved!!!!! Let them love him!!!!!!

Anyway for anyone who doesn’t feel like clicking through to the fic (though please do! Please please do!) here’s a distillation of these feelings in this fic:

Buck could be angry about the past, about being treated like an inconvenient piece of furniture his whole childhood, about having to hurt himself just to get their eyes on him; and still, to an extent, he is. He’s burned off the worst of the fury about it over the last few years, but he knows it will never truly go away. A gaping hole in your chest doesn’t close just because the people who put it there apologize.

He could be angry about the present, about being confronted firsthand with a side of his parents he’s never seen come so easily before. It could have always been like this? And they just never tried? I wasn’t worth trying for? But Buck knows better. The people standing in front of him now are no more the people they were five or ten or thirty-two years ago than he is. They are, all of them, very different people now. His parents will always be griefstricken just as he will always be angry, but they have started to heal for him. They have only gone to therapy and begun processing their loss in order to have a relationship with him. They’re trying for him.

So Buck chooses to be optimistic about the future. He will never forgive his parents for his childhood. He will never forgive them for abandoning Maddie to Doug when they were in a position to know a lot more about her situation than he was. But he is also happy that they want to be in his life moving forward. Both things are true.

His parents are making amends; admitting fault. They are acknowledging his pain and working earnestly to make up for causing it. And Buck intends to let them.

[air--so--sweet]

TUA Season 4 Spoilers

So...they released deleted scenes for season 4.

Ah yes, let's delete the important character moment between Luther and Diego despite it bringing their series arc full circle, from rivals, to brothers, and acrually shows someone react to finding out how Brn died, who needs to see Klaus' relapse having actually motivation like being having to deal with actual ghosts (I'm guessing we would have seen said ghosts but as this is deleted the VFX weren't added, except for the one he walked through so we understood what was happening), and we drefinitrly don't need to see actual resolution to his story that aldo resolves his entire series arc. Nope they all should be removed. But repeated Baby Shark scenes and a overly long not at all funny, just incredibly gross scene of them all vomiting, no that can stay in.

It's not quite as egregious as the HIMYM deleted scene from the finale but it's close... Also, while I disagree with them removing the scene wgere Robin tells Ted she still has feeling for him, HIMYM had the excuse of having a network TV slot to fit into, TUA, is on streaming and, while we did get some of their longest episodes this season, they were no where near as long as the longest episodes of shows we've seen on streaming. And it's not like these scenes are incredibly long either.

And don't get me wrong, I don't think these scenes would have saved the show. The ghosts scene still feels too brief and he'd already fought with Allison and acted like relapse was a foregone conclusion, but it least acknowledged that dealing with ghosts was why he used drugs in the first place. And Klaus at AA definitely has more of comedic tone than I'd like, it falls into the same trap as a lot of this season of telling over showing, and I don't love Claire and Allison randomly walking in part way through for no reason. However, it has Klaus taking accountability, admitting he's an addict, that fear has stopped him living, and has him realising he can still be those things, he can be an imperfect, fallable, messy human, and be worthy and deserving of love and he doesn't have to do everything alone (which also links back to what he said at the start of the season about Claire liking the version if him who's sober and scared). Literally wrote a fix it scene last night thst deals with these very themes, because we don't see them in the show, so it's even more infuriating to know they were dealt with and left out. And yes Klaus erasing himself a few hours later does render his growth pointless but I'd still rather see the growth rather than not have it at all.

The Ben scene isn't needed (and is very funny to watch without VFX so when he sees his reflection it's just two stand ins in mocap suits 😂) but it could have been a cool scene. The scene of Klaus and Lila's relatives is fun but a bit on the nose I think. Also, finding out Klaus is almost 3 years sober, not actually 3 years sober- makes his lines about being sober for the first time in his life even more frustrating because, I was letting it slide they were ignoring Dallas since he was at least sober for the same amount of time as he was in the '60s, but turns out he's not, he's been sober for less time. Great...

[sitp-recs]

Hi Liv!!! I’ve seen you have an draco injury/disability reclist but I was wondering if yoy knew of any fics where harry had an injury/disability??

thank you!!

Hi anon! Yes definitely, here are some hurt!Harry for you:

Wield Me by @tackytigerfic (E, 10k)

Draco Malfoy, blacksmith, is renowned through the magical world for his skill and exquisite creations. He could quite easily spend the rest of his days making pretty trinkets for the fae court, and being handsomely rewarded for the privilege. But why take the easy route when instead he could get involved in a dangerous mission with Unspeakable Harry Potter (who also happens to be Draco's... well, he's something, isn't he?). A little story about learning to strike while the iron is hot.

The Snitch-Maker by Omi_Ohmy (T, 21k)

Draco is content with his Snitches, with the tap tap tap of his hammer, and the tiny gears and sharp scent of metal in his workshop - until one day Harry Potter appears, asking for help to solve a rash of Snitch-tampering in the Quidditch world.

Fearful Trill by @vukovich (E, 29k)

Harry should have come out and met someone when he was younger. He should have seen a doctor about the pain in his hip while youth was still on his side. Now, he's made his peace with dying young, but maybe not with dying alone.

If an Injury Is to Be Inflicted by @shealwaysreads (E, 45k)

Harry Potter disappeared a year after the Battle of Hogwarts, and with him went all hope for true change in magical Britain. Three years later, Draco indulges himself and attends his first Dog Fight—the infamous underground fights with no rules, no referee, and no points system bar blood on the floor. The game was simple: you win, or you die.

fly like paper, high like planes by @harryromper (M, 47k)

Harry Potter, Head Coach of the Appleby Arrows, is very content leading a quiet life. He has a doddery old house-elf who makes his breakfast, a team of players who love Quidditch almost as much as he does, and a Kneazle that curls against his damaged leg at the foot of his bed at night. The absolute last thing he needs is a fit, tattooed, and wildly talented Draco Malfoy back from living his life on the margins.

Harry Potter and the elusive day off by pleasebekidding (E, 71k)

Auror Potter needs a fucking break. He is wiped. He is exhausted. He probably didn't intend to put himself into a magical coma but these things happen. And who cares, really? He is comfortable in a house where he has hidden away all the shit he can't deal with.

Merlin Works in Mysterious Ways by lordhellebore (M, 82k) - cw: major permanent disability

When Harry is forced to form a Blood Bond with Draco Malfoy under threat of death, he thinks his future will consist of a cold home and sexual frustration. But when a group of left-over Death Eaters decides to stir trouble, their lives change completely – and it takes them both some years to figure out whether it’s for better or for worse.

Balance, Imperfect by @bixgirl1 (E, 91k)

When Harry sustains an injury in the line of work, he no longer knows how to navigate the life he loved, and finds help and solace from the most unexpected source.

Any Instrument by @dictacontrion (E, 131k)

Draco Malfoy wouldn't go back to England for anything less than an exceptional case. Being asked to figure out why Harry Potter can't control his magic might be exceptional enough to qualify.

The Ordeal of Being Known by @lou-isfake (M, 146k)

When Auror Potter is anonymously cursed with silence by being forced to hide his own voice inside his mind, there's unfortunately only one person in the country with the qualifications to fix it: Certified and Licensed Healer Legilimens, Draco Malfoy, specialist in Mind Curses and Afflictions. It's obviously a terrible idea, a disaster waiting to happen, but Draco's never been able to back down from a challenge... especially from Potter.