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marvelfanfn2187a113 · 5 months ago

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Picking Sides

Sam and Dean Winchester & little sister!reader, Cas & Winchester sister, Jody & Winchester sister, Mary & Winchester sister (all obviously platonic)

Synopsis: you get in a fight with Mary, and when Sam and Dean take sides you go to find someone to be on your side.

Warnings: feelings of abandonment, angst with a happy ending

You were hiding again. These days, it felt like you were always hiding. The bunker used to feel like home, but that home got smaller and smaller until the only place that truly felt like a sanctuary was your bedroom.

It didn’t feel fair to think that the arrival of your brothers’ mom took away your home, but that’s how you felt nonetheless. You wanted to be happy for them more than anything—your big brothers were everything to you, and they got back someone they had lost, someone they loved.

But that someone just so happened to look at you and see only the result of her husband with another woman. You knew it had to hurt—from her memory, it must feel like she’d last seen John only months ago, even though it had been over twenty years. So seeing his daughter—the one he had with another woman—being treated like family by her boys…that had to hurt. You understood that hurt, and you felt sorry for Mary because of it. But what you didn’t understand was why she had to make you hurt with her. Maybe she didn’t mean to—you couldn’t believe the worst about Sam and Dean’s mom, you just couldn’t—but it felt like she never wanted you there. And that disdain was starting to affect Sam and Dean. They could tell when their mom wasn’t happy, and it put them on edge. Because of that, tensions just kept rising until finally you decided that hiding out away from the common areas was best for everyone when Mary was around.

This strategy worked out well back when Mary wasn’t around much, but she’d been hanging around the bunker a lot more now, and it just wasn’t working. You couldn’t be in your room all the time, but any time you bumped into Mary the two of you seemed to get into a fight about something. Today was no different.

You only ventured out to get some food from the kitchen—but of course Mary had to be there.

“Where have you been?” She questioned, though she kept her voice low.

“Just my room,” you mumbled as you started to assemble a sandwich.

“The boys could’ve used your help, you know. They’re doing a lot of research.”

“I’ve got a laptop, I’m doing my own research.” You tried not to sound too snarky, but you’d be lying if you didn’t admit that it came out that way…just a little.

“Well it would make things a lot easier if you’d join the group,” Mary chided. At this, you scoffed—you couldn’t help it.

“Like you even want me as part of the family,” you challenged.

“I said group, not family. You’re not family,” she insisted, her tone still neutral and her voice still low. Something about her trying to keep this horrible conversation nice and quiet just made you want to scream it all the louder. Unfortunately, you did it at the wrong moment.

“Says the one who hasn’t been here for twenty years! Don’t pretend you’re more of a family to Sam and Dean than I am!”

“Hey now!” Dean’s voice snapped you out of your anger for a split second, and turned it to shock—you didn’t know he was so nearby. “That’s enough!” He directed his anger towards you—of course he hadn’t heard Mary’s words.

“But I was just—“ you began, but Dean didn’t let you get far.

“I don’t care what you were doing, I heard enough! Now I think you should go to your room.”

You took a deep breath, desperate to tell your side.

“But you didn’t hear—“

“I heard enough!” Dean was yelling now, and his sudden rise in anger had you taking a surprised step back. “Now go to your room! You’ve done enough damage.”

“B-but De—“

“I said go! And don’t you come out. I’ll come get you when I think you’ve had enough time to think about what kind of consequence your words have. Go!”

It wasn’t often that Dean looked so tall—he was always the “short one” compared to Sam. But now—looming over you like the shadow of a mountain, nothing but anger written on his features—no one had ever looked bigger, and you had never felt smaller. Just when you thought you couldn’t feel more pathetic, you felt tears start to prick behind your eyes. You twisted around and ran for your room before Dean could see them.

You made sure you were well behind your door with the lock in place before you felt safe enough to let the tears fall.

…

Mary was silent as she watched you run. There was a cacophony of thoughts banging around in her head, and it was so distracting that it took a moment for her to hear Dean talking to her.

“Mom? Mom?” Dean was right in front of her when she finally snapped out of it. “I’m sorry about that. I don’t know what’s been going on with her lately, but she shouldn’t have said that to you. I’ll talk to her.”

But Mary didn’t want that. In fact, she felt sick to her stomach. Ever since she had learned about your existence, she had felt almost in competition with you. Somehow, you being the result of John’s relationship with another woman made Mary feel as though you were somehow responsible for it, or complacent with it. Deep down she knew that that was wrong, but she couldn’t help the feelings. So instead, she had been justifying them, and using those feelings as an excuse for how she was trying to win the boys’ affection over you.

But just now, she had seen you for what you really were—not competition for her sons’ affections, not some sick reminder of John’s love being given to someone else taunting her; no. She had seen a scared little girl being rejected and reprimanded by her big brother and father figure, and it had been Mary’s fault.

“No, Dean…” Mary sighed. “I wish you hadn’t done that. She didn’t deserve it.”

Dean was confused. “But she—“

“I said some things to her that…well, let’s just say I deserved what she said. I mean it Dean, I screwed up, not her.”

Dean looked torn for a moment—after all, the only part he had heard were some awful words on your part—but then the scene replayed in his mind, and he saw you; your hands were shaking, your lip was quivering, and Dean had just kept on yelling.

“Oh man,” Dean sighed. “I need to talk to her.”

…

You didn’t let the tears fall long before you made a decision; you couldn’t stay here. You could deal with Mary not wanting you here, but you couldn’t deal with your brothers choosing her over you. That was the last straw.

You had a bag packed far too quickly, and you found yourself lingering in your room, trying to find an excuse not to go. This was your home—you didn’t want to leave.

Then an image of Dean screaming at you flashed in your mind—

“I said go! And don’t you come out.”

This wouldn’t be a one-time thing—it couldn’t. Dean had picked Mary over you, and it would only get worse. You had to go.

You slung your bag over your shoulder and went straight for the door.

“Hey.” Sam’s voice broke your stride for a moment, but you didn’t stop. “Hey, where are you going?”

“Out for a walk,” you huffed.

“I thought Dean told you to stay in your room,” Sam challenged. You froze for a moment.

“You heard?” You asked, hope sparking in the back of your mind. Maybe Sam would be on your side!

“Not everything,” Sam admitted. “But enough. I think you should stay in your room.”

Disappointment didn’t begin to cover what hit you then—Sam, taking Mary’s side too, without even knowing the whole story!

“And I think you should mind your own business,” you grumbled, going out and slamming the door behind you.

…

There was a cab waiting for you—you’d called one while you were packing—so you were already being carried away from the bunker by the time Sam followed you out the door.

The cab took you as far as the bus station, and from there you got on the first bus that would take you to Sioux Falls—to Jody.

You’d been praying to Cas since you’d left, but he must’ve been busy in heaven or something, because he hadn’t come. So Jody’s it was.

…

“I was wondering if you were going to show up.” Jody’s greeting when you arrived on her doorstep was less than conventional.

“What?” You questioned as she let you into the living room.

“Your brothers have been calling me every ten minutes for the past two hours, hoping you’d find your way over here. They’re worried about you.”

“I don’t know why,” you muttered under your breath, but Jody caught it.

“What do you mean you don’t know? Those boys worry over you like mother hens, they always have.”

“Not lately,” came your dull response. “Lately Mary’s more important.”

“Hey, now that isn’t fair,” Jody argued. “They just got her back from the dead. Just because their attention is a little divided—“

“It’s not that.” You huffed. “She doesn’t want me around. And they’re starting to take her side. They used to treat me like their sister, and now they…” you cleared your throat, blinking fast suddenly. “And now they treat me like…just John’s illegitimate kid. And I know that’s what I am, I just…I never felt it before.”

“Wait, kid…” Jody sighed, her hands coming up to hold onto your shoulders. “Kid, that is not who you are. You are so much more than that, and I’m sure if we talk to Sam and Dean, they’ll—“

“No,” you insisted, starting to panic. “I don’t want to talk to them right now, I just can’t. Please, you can’t tell them I’m here.”

“They’re gonna call again,” Jody said.

“You can’t—“

“Y/N.” You were interrupted by a flutter of wings and the deep voice of your favorite angel. “I heard you, what’s wrong?”

“Cas.” Your panic ebbed as you lurched forwards and wrapped your arms around Castiel. He held you close, quick to ask again—

“What’s wrong, what happened?”

“She ran away,” Jody spoke up. “Problems with Mary.”

“Oh, little one…” Cas sighed. “You—“

“Don’t tell me to go back!” You said as you pulled away from Cas. “You haven’t been here, you don’t know what it’s been like!”

“They’re your brothers,” Cas argued.

“But they don’t want to be. They want their legitimate family, and I’m not gonna get in the way anymore.”

“Hey.” Cas bent down to better look at you. “What makes you say that?”

“They just took her side.” You found it suddenly hard to speak around the lump in your throat. “De just-just took her side without even asking me what happened. He screamed at me, I’ve never-I’ve never seen him so angry before. He wanted me to go away, so-so I went. And Sammy didn’t even know what happened either, but he took her side too!”

“What did happen?” Cas asked gently.

You shook your head, “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

Cas reached down and hooked his fingers under your chin, tilting your downturned head up to look at him.

“It matters to me.”

Your lip was quivering and your hands were shaking by the time the first tears fell.

“She said that I’m not family. I mean I-I always knew she didn’t want me around, but…” you swallowed and took a deep breath, trying to stifle your tears. “But she’s never been this mean before. She said I’m not family, Cas. And Sam and Dean took her side.”

“They agreed with her?” Cas’s face was scrunched slightly in confusion.

“N-no,” you admitted. “But when I tried to argue with her, Dean yelled at me.”

“You should talk to them,” Cas suggested. “I’m sure that’s not what he meant.”

“I don’t want to talk to them. Cas, please,” you pleaded.

“Alright, alright,” Cas relented. He was going to make you talk it out with your brothers…later. Right now you were too angry, too hurt. You just needed someone you could trust, and Cas would be that for you for as long as you needed before he could fix your relationship with your brothers.

“They’re going to keep calling,” Jody spoke up.

“Don’t answer, please,” you begged.

“Then they’ll just come here,” Jody said.

“I’ll talk to them if you don’t want to,” Cas said. “Please let me talk to them. I know we can fix this.”

You were silent for a moment, letting yourself process before you spoke.

“I don’t want to see them right now.”

“Then you won’t,” Cas promised. “Just let me talk to them.”

“Ok,” you sighed after another long moment. “But…Cas? Can you…will you…please just don’t take their side,” you pleaded. “Maybe it’s not fair to ask, I just…I just need someone on my side.”

“I’m on your side,” Cas assured you. “Always.”

…

“They’re here.” Jody’s announcement had you more nervous than you thought you’d be. The fear that Dean might yell at you again—this time for running away and disobeying him—was suddenly very real.

It was weird to be afraid of your big brother; it was unnatural for you. But you couldn’t get the image of him screaming at you out of your head, neither could you get the feelings it gave you to go away.

“Y/N?” You snapped out of your thoughts to see Cas standing in front of you. “I’m going to go talk to them, alright?”

You glanced out the window, hoping the sight of your big brothers might somehow give you a different—better—memory to focus on. Instead, you saw a third figure exiting the Impala with the boys; Mary.

“They brought Mary.” Your voice came out barely above a whisper, but still Cas heard and turned to look out the window.

“I’m going to talk to them,” he repeated, only this time his tone was devoid of comfort and filled with rage.

…

“You should wait in the car.” Cas directed his order at Mary, who looked taken aback.

“I came to—“

“If you value your immediate safety, do what I said.”

Mary retreated to the Impala without another word.

“What was that?” Dean demanded. He hadn’t heard Cas talk like that in long time—unless it was to a demon.

“Don’t question me,” Castiel barked. “Not after what you did. And especially not after you brought her—“ Castiel gestured towards the impala, where Mary was waiting— “here. Do you know what she said to your little sister?”

“I don’t—“ Dean began, but Castiel interrupted him.

“No, you don’t, because you didn’t ask. You didn’t get her side, you just yelled at her.”

“And I’m trying to fix it,” Dean said.

“Well she doesn’t want to talk to you.” Castiel crossed his arms in front of him, all but blocking the doorway. “You did that, Dean. Your own little sister is too scared to talk to you, because she thinks you’ll yell at her again. She thinks you’ll pick Mary over her—again.”

“Cas, c’mon,” Dean pleaded. “I want to tell her I’m sorry. Just let me talk to her.”

“I already told you—she doesn’t want to.” Cas left no room for argument.

“Look,” Dean sighed. “Just tell her I need to talk to her. Tell her—“

“Tell her I’m sorry.” Both Dean and Cas turned at the sound of Mary’s voice as she stepped out of the Impala. “Please Castiel. Tell her I was wrong, and that I’m sorry.”

Cas stared at Mary long and hard before seemingly coming to a decision.

“Come with me.” Cas led them into Jody’s house, but stopped them firmly in the living room. “Stay right here. I’m going to go talk to her.”

Cas’s departure brought silence into the house for several long seconds.

“Do you mean it?” Dean’s sudden question threw Mary for a moment.

“What?”

“The apology. Do you mean it? Because on the off chance that she actually lets us in there, and you get to say that apology, you’ve gotta mean it, because she’s going to know.”

Mary was silent for a moment.

“I do mean it. Look, things have been…hard for me. I know to you guys, your father had years to mourn me before your little sister happened. But for me—it feels like I just woke up, and suddenly I find out my husband had a child with another woman. It feels so wrong; but I know that it isn’t Y/N’s fault, and I know that I was wrong to blame her for it. And I see how close the two of you boys are to her—and how close she is to you; that’s going to have to be enough for me. So yes, I do mean my apology—I truly was wrong.”

“Ok.” Your voice startled mother and son, who both whirled to face you.

“Ok?” Mary asked tentatively.

“Well, no,” you amended. “It’s not ok. But I do forgive you.”

“Understood,” Mary said, a ghost of a smile playing on her lips. “And thank you.”

“Things can’t stay the same,” you continued. “I can’t be treated like an outsider in my own family anymore.”

“I understand that too,” Mary promised. “Things will change—I will change them—I promise.”

“Ok then.” You sighed, your eyes flickering over to Dean. The silence went from contemplative to awkward very quickly.

“I’m going to go wait in the car,” Mary said quietly, slipping out the front door to give you and Dean some private time.

“That went well,” Dean said awkwardly.

“Don’t make jokes,” you commanded.

“I’m sorry.”

“You hurt me.” You forced your gaze not to waver as you confronted your big brother. “Not just because you yelled at me; because you picked her side without even listening to me. It was like I didn’t even matter.”

“Y/N—“

“No. It’s my turn now. It’s not just Mary that has to make things better at the bunker. I-I can’t live with being walked over or ignored because you guys choose her. I know she’s your mom, and I would never, ever ask you to choose me over her. But she would, and she has. And you’ve picked her. And that hurts, De.” The tears in your eyes were threatening to fall, but you refused to let that stop you. “It really, really hurts.”

“Sweetheart…” you were in Dean’s arms before you could even think about protesting—not that you wanted to. It felt like it had been forever since his arms had been around you—since you had felt so truly at home. “N/N I’m so, so sorry. I’m not gonna let that happen again, ever. Even if Mary goes back on her promise, and she doesn’t change things, I will. I’m not gonna let anybody walk over you again. You’re important to me—I’m never going to let anyone tell me to choose someone over you, never. I know that doesn’t take back what I did—what I said to you—but…but can you forgive me anyway?”

Your grip tightened on Dean, and he didn’t try to pull away.

“Of course I forgive you.”

“So…” you let Dean pull away from you, but he kept hold of your hands. “So you’ll come home? Sammy’s waiting with some ice cream and another apology for you.”

You giggled, wiping the remaining tears off of your cheeks.

“Yeah. Yeah I’ll come home.”

@nyotamalfoy @mrvlxgrl @chocorade @aestheticdaisies @inlovewhithafairytale @that-wannabe-vangoghgurl @casmustdiee

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rubyvhs · 5 months ago

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stars (castiel novak)

pairing; castiel novak x reader tags; fluff, hardly any angst, inexperienced cas summary; you find cas after his argument with dean and one thing leads to another.

masterlist

Screw the Winchesters for ever hurting Cas. Dean just— he yells, and screams, and he doesn’t stop until he or the person in front of him are hurt. It sucks. Because more often than not, Sam or Cas are that person. Thank God Dean respects women as much as he does because a vamp nest i can take— a screaming fest? Sign me out.

But he isn’t easy on the boys, especially Cas. The angel had to prove himself to Dean— to all of us, really, so many times it should’ve worn him out years ago, but he’s still here, despite it all, and this is the thanks he gets for saving our asses all the time? It isn’t right.

Usually after Dean has an episode Cas likes to disappear. Sam went with his brother while I followed Cas to see that he’s thankfully still there. In the astronomy room. We found it a few months ago and I got to name it. The men of letters seemed to have a knack for stars because the projection on the ceiling is a live image of the stars at the moment. It’s beautiful.

It’s also special. I’ve never sat in this room with anyone other than Cas. It’s our thing, at least for me, I’m not sure what his thoughts on the room are.

“Cas?” He doesn’t look at me from his spot leaning on the wall, staring up at the ceiling. “Cas,” I whisper thoughtfully this time, and he faces me. “Can I sit?”

He shrugs and it’s all the invitation I need. Castiel has learned to understand and deal with human emotions so well over the years that sometimes I forget he isn’t one. He’s responds to Dean so expertly. Especially Dean. Profound bond and whatnot. “Dean is being ridiculous, obviously.”

He doesn’t respond. “C’mon, you know how he is, he gets mad at something as. Waits for someone to blow up on—”

“I know that. I’m not sulking.”

“Then what are you doing here?” No response. “Cas, are you okay?”

“The stars, they’re beautiful.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“I don’t want to lie to you.” I sigh, moving only a little closer, “I do not care what Dean does, or his opinion on the matter, what I did was what we needed.”

“You almost melted the guy’s brain, but yeah, I get it.”

“He will live, and Dean will learn to be alright. It is you who I fear would not forgive me.” My eyes widened. Me? First of all, what the hell does that mean, since when does an Angel of the Lord care if I forgive him? Second, forgive him for what? I just said I get it. “You are the only soul on earth who I haven’t looked at directly.”

My breath hitches in my throat and I can’t even process his words. I didn’t know he could even control that. “I can not control who’s souls I can and can not see— but for all the years I have been with the Winchesters they’ve been very open with me, they bared their souls to me. Well, Dean didn’t have a choice, but Sam saw Angels as some kind of saving graces, he eagerly showed me himself. You have too, to some extent, but I haven’t been able to let my grace free when I’m around you.”

That’s two years of holding his breath when I’m around. Two years of not being comfortable when I’m there and two years of no eye contact. Most of the time all I get is a glance. Most of the time I don’t get anything at all.

“Why?”

“Because your soul will—” he lets out a small laugh (i decide it is my favorite sound in the world) and shakes his head, he whispers my name, “it will blind me.”

“Cas,” I mumble. We’re both moving closer. His lips are so close. “What does that mean?”

“That I’m scared to lose you as I am the Winchesters,” I swallow nothing and try to calm my nerves but he’s doing that thing Dean taught him with his eyes and they’re going from my lips to my eyes and fuck, its chemical. “I am worried to lose any part of you. Your affection for me, however different from mine to you.”

“Cas. Kiss me.” It takes him a while to understand that it’s an order, and that I am consenting, but when he does— God, I don’t want to say it’s fireworks (it is), or that his lips taste like cotton candy (they do, courtesy of Dean’s gum), or that it kind of maybe changes me completely.

He pulls away first. “I tried when I was human, and once when I was an angel, a long time ago, but was that correct?”

I don’t know if I want to kiss him again or compliment and affirm to him that everything he does is correct till tomorrow. I choose the former but promise the latter that we will meet again. We move against each other, smoother than i ever have considering I don’t do this often, and he’s so good you would never know just how inexperienced he is.

“My soul?” I smile into it.

“Blindingly beautiful.” I’m sure he can’t actually see it right at this moment with his eyes only half open to stare at my lips, but it’s enough for me.

It takes longer but I pull away this time. His hand is still on my cheek and he’s slowly pulling me in and out, just brushing his lips against mine while I try to talk. Where did he learn to do all of this? “Cas, what does— Cas—”

Talking’s always been overrated. Especially when we don’t have time.

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demonic0angel · 3 months ago

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Celestial Bodies AU (Part 2/?)

(Part one, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven. Also on AO3)

Robin inhaled softly as Batman strode past his hiding spot. He placed his hands over his mouth and held still within the hiding spot he had found in the spaceship. He could see Superman glance in his direction, but thankfully, he didn't say anything as he floated alongside Batman to go to the command room.

When he heard them leave, Robin quickly followed after them.

When Batman had left him to go to space of all things, Robin knew what he had to do. With the help of Wonder Woman, who had laughed herself silly when he had asked before gleefully complying, he was able to sneak onto the spacecraft without Batman knowing.

It wasn't fair if Bruce got to go to space but he couldn't!

It was space!

Robin followed them quietly and watched as both Batman and Superman stood around the computer monitor that was built into the spacecraft. Green Lantern was already there, staring through the wide window above the monitor at the dark void. Although it was dark, several whirling stars and strange planets all shone brightly and spun in place. The screen itself held several different pictures, and each of them flickered and brightened as sounds came from the screen.

Robin's eyes widened in awe as he strained his ears to listen in.

The sounds were beautiful, like something that he would've heard at a church choir. The singing was ethereal and spooky all in one, echoing with a haunting quality to it like it was underwater.

Like a siren's song.

Robin had to clench his fingers in order to hold himself back from lurching forward, wanting to be even closer.

But who were the people singing?

Green Lantern crossed his arms when he saw the two of them enter.

“Took you two long enough. How did you find this galaxy? I haven’t heard anything about it, even from the Corps.”

Superman answered, “We were testing the new spacecraft for interstellar travel and decided to see if we could go far enough and maybe meet some sentient life forms that could join the Justice League,” he rubbed the back of his head and continued, “Well, we reached this place and then discovered them and made contact. Batman and I asked them if they would help us in the future, and they said they would.”

Green Lantern looked unimpressed. He turned to Batman and asked, “So I guess you were paranoid enough to call me?”

“… yes. And I contacted Zatanna as well.” Robin could tell that Batman was disgruntled by his own powerlessness by the way his voice was tight, like he was gritting his teeth.

He stifled a laugh at the thought of Batman being helpless. He loved Bruce, but oh boy, it was funny seeing him struggle.

Green Lantern shrugged. “I honestly can’t tell you much, because I can’t fly around here like I’d like, even with the ring. Supes, you’ve seen how dangerous this part of space is, right?”

Superman seemed excited to have someone understand. “Yes! The pressure and gravitational pull was very strong. I was only able to escape because I was far away enough and got away in time. The pull definitely seemed to match that of several astronomical objects combining into one. However, it shouldn’t be possible.”

Robin rolled his eyes. When were they going to be interesting?

He sank to the ground and hugged his knees, tilting his head to keep an eye on the three.

Green Lantern nodded. “I agree. It’s definitely way too strong, and usually, any other astronomical object would have collided with one another now, but those are definitely not normal. They’re not bound with logic or science. They even have planets circling around them.”

“We discovered that as well. They spoke with us and we determined that they were sentient,” Batman said. “It is most likely why they haven’t collided yet.”

Robin closed his eyes, leaning against the wall and focusing on the soft singing that continued to play. It lulled him into something like a doze. The song was just so beautiful and soothing, calm, yet strong. It was like a lullaby, one that he was beginning to love.

Green Lantern continued to speak, “It’s the singing, right? The ones singing are the four in the middle?”

“It seems to be all of them in this area, actually.” Batman sighed. “They mentioned two other planets the last time we spoke.”

Green Lantern hummed and turned to the monitor. “I want to try speaking with them. May I?”

Batman nodded and Green Lantern leaned in closer.

He tapped the screen and the sound was enough to rouse Robin. He blinked away the sleepiness and focused in on the room again. Superman glanced in his direction but didn’t say anything.

“Hey! Anyone there?”

The singing continued.

Green Lantern frowned. “Are you sure they spoke to you?”

“Yes,” Bruce growled.

“Try being polite?” Superman suggested.

“… hello? This is Green Lantern speaking. Can someone please respond?”

Robin held his breath as he poked his head into the door, leaning in as close as he could in order to see what would happen next.

The singing slowed to a stop, and so did the flickering on the screen. The sound of static and ocean waves filled the room for a moment.

And then, just like that, the screen spoke with the sound of a thousand voices—

"Hello."

Green Lantern’s eyebrows rose. “Well damn. Nice to meet you.”

"Hello again," Superman interrupted, beaming. "Are you all well? It's good to see you again!"

"We are well, Kal-el."

Superman’s smile went tight but didn’t say anything. Green Lantern glanced at him but was also silent.

Robin was focused on the sound of their voices. It was melodic, kind of like a little choir of voices speaking as one.

Robin's eyes widened again as he thought about it.

Amazing!

Were they speaking to the stars?

The stars continued to speak, “Hal Jordan, son of Martin, what do you seek?”

Green Lantern looked at Batman and Superman, who didn’t look surprised. He frowned heavily.

“Did you all know my identity before?” He addressed Superman and Batman with a glare.

Superman said awkwardly, “No,” while Batman didn’t reply, so it was probably a yes.

He continued to demand, “Do they do this every time?”

“I think so? But Batman hasn’t spoken to them yet,” Superman said, looking at Batman, who still didn’t respond.

Green Lantern grimaced, turning away to look at the stars again before he then answered them.

“… I seek answers.”

“Ask, and you shall receive.” To Robin, they sounded a little tired by his questions. When looking at the adults’ faces though, they didn’t seem to notice.

Robin suddenly felt like he should’ve stepped out.

He was perhaps the only one who could understand these stars.

Green Lantern continued, “Could you tell us your names? Do you know what galaxy this is in?”

“… we have no more names. We are kept far, far away from any living planets except our own.”

“Is there a reason you’re so far away?”

“Yes.”

They waited, but there was no further response. Green Lantern grimaced again, glowering at Batman for putting him in this situation with a clearly very socially awkward galaxy.

“Can you tell us why?”

“No.”

Green Lantern asked, “Are you a danger to us?”

“No.”

“How can we be sure?”

“We’d swallow you if we were.”

Green Lantern eyed the stars with a deep frown. Robin tried to look at them as best as he could, observing the pulsing and glowing stars. The planets that circled them were quite fast, and Robin watched it all with an ever growing sense of awe.

In particular, he focused on the four in the middle, 2 white colored star-like things and a black hole, as well as a wide and glowing orb. The black hole looked intimidating, but it was so cool that Robin couldn’t help but lean past the door.

Green Lantern continued, “I am a Green Lantern. Do you know what that is?”

“We know of everything.”

Green Lantern turned around and muttered, “Jesus Christ.” He looked out the glass windows at the four revolving stars and black holes and then down at the monitor. “How come nobody knows about you?”

“Clockwork hid us….” Their voices were soft, reminiscent.

“Who?”

They didn’t answer, their silence sounding hesitant and worried. Robin hated that they seemed so fearful, as if they were protecting their mysterious Clockwork from them.

“Why?” Green Lantern pushed. Even Batman and Superman were growing agitated at the lack of any actual answers.

“… For our safety.”

Green Lantern nodded and said, “Thank you for answering our questions. That’s all for now.”

Then he pulled away, as the singing immediately picked up again, a little more rushed than before. He looked at Batman and Superman and asked, “Do we have any idea what a “Clockwork” is? Or who it is?”

“I’ve never heard of someone named that,” Batman shook his head.

Superman raised a finger, asking to speak as he said, “I have noticed that this galaxy is in the direction of the Horologium constellation. Horologium means “clock”. Maybe there’s a link between the two?”

“Makes sense. Now what? Do we even need to do anything? They’re seriously uncooperative and I think they’re being vague on purpose.”

Superman frowned. "Green Lantern," he began sternly, but the Green Lantern then put his hands up.

"Okay, first of all, I am way out of my depth here. Intergalactic threats are one thing, children that were forced to become stars is a whole separate matter."

“You already read the report, why are you complaining?” Batman grumbled.

However, Robin ignored the squabble that then ensued as his eyes widened. Children?

Were they in trouble?

Robin needed to help! As Batman’s partner and equal, he was better equipped to help than these three!

These three clearly weren’t suited for this!

Green Lantern scowled. “We have no way of knowing if they’re being truthful or not. My suggestion is that we continue to observe them in the meantime and if they want to “help” us, we take it with a grain of salt.”

Batman nodded. “Exactly my thinking.”

Superman looked a little anxious. “Aren’t we going to help them too? They said that they were human once…”

“Why bother? They don’t even act like it’s an inconvenience.”

Robin grit his teeth.

He knew it! These adults were useless! These stars were kids like him, so they needed to be helped by a kid too. If Robin was able to help, they would surely be better off than with these losers!

Robin loved Superman and Batman (he never really met Green Lantern before, but he disliked him now), but clearly, he was the man for the job.

Superman seemed to be on the same wavelength as him and said, “Let’s ask them! Maybe if we insist, they can give us more information as to why they were changed.”

"Superman, while I appreciate how you hold hope for helping everyone, I really don't think you can help... these." Green Lantern gestured to the window, where the four glowing beings were still spinning in place.

Robin felt heat flare up in his chest at his dismissive tone. How dare he brush off these stars!

Of course, if Robin had been older and not as hot-tempered and determined to hate Green Lantern, he would've seen that he seemed tired. All three of the adult heroes were confused by these beings and could not understand them, not like how Robin could. To them, it was a group of sentient, possibly highly dangerous stars that rivaled their own Sun, that could consume them all in great flames and heat.

They were paranoid, confused, and jaded, and that didn’t make a good combination when faced with beings that they could not understand, beings that they could not help and could kill them without moving.

But Robin didn't know that, so he was still fuming as Green Lantern continued speaking.

"There's no guarantee that Zatanna can help them. And we've only just started the Justice League a few months ago. We don't have many routes to help and we don't know if we can trust them. Or if they're being truthful."

Superman frowned.

"But..." he looked to Batman for help.

Batman was silent, avoiding his gaze.

Robin held back a sigh. Batman seemed allergic to emotions again. If Robin was there, he probably could've backed up Superman.

Adults were so annoying.

Green Lantern huffed. “I’ll ask them, okay? Stop looking at me like that, it feels weird that I’m falling for a grown man’s puppy eyes.”

Superman muttered to himself sullenly, “I wasn’t giving puppy eyes.”

Green Lantern addressed the little galaxy again, their song filling the room before he said, “Excuse me? I have one more question.”

The crackling singing stopped suddenly, and Robin got the feeling that they were annoyed and apprehensive.

“Speak.”

Green Lantern cleared his throat and asked, “Do you need any help? With anything? It’s only right that we help you if you’re helping us.”

More silence. Now it seemed kind of hesitant again.

“Is there anything at all? Anyone we can call?”

One voice in particular suddenly spoke up over the silence.

“… Robin.”

There was silence as Batman stood there, dumbfounded. "Who?"

Robin’s eyes widened. Were the stars talking about him?

Superman flinched.

Batman turned to him with wide eyes and then he whirled towards the door, where Robin had been accidentally leaning too far past the doorway to avoid being seen. He darted back in but it was still too late.

"Robin!" Batman barked. "How did you get on the ship?!"

Robin, realizing how futile it was to hide, poked his head back out. "You left me at home! And then went to space without me!"

Batman groaned. Then he whirled around to glare at Superman. "You knew about this!" He accused, jabbing a finger in his direction.

Superman laughed awkwardly. "Hahahah... uhh... I couldn't sense him?"

Batman put a hand on his cowl and groaned again, in lieu of taking a hand and rubbing it over his face, while Green Lantern gaped.

“Spooky, you’ve had a sidekick this whole time?! Do I even know you?!”

Robin rolled his eyes. He stood up and dusted himself off before walking closer. “I’m not a sidekick! I’m Batman’s partner!”

Batman huffed, but nodded. “Robin is not my sidekick.”

“This is bizarre as f— fudge,” Green Lantern finished lamely, and then pursed his lips together, looking at Robin with narrowed eyes. Robin returned the look. “How’d you even sneak in?”

“I’m not telling you,” Robin said, sticking out his tongue.

“Robin.” Batman glared at him.

Robin rolled his eyes again and crossed his arms. “Wonder Woman helped me.”

Batman rubbed at his eyes. "She and I will be having words after this."

Robin huffed. "Don't be mad at her! I asked her to help me!"

Batman muttered something that had Superman eying him warily.

Robin strode forward and pulled on Batman's cape. "Well, I'm still here. And I say that we help them."

"Kid, you don't understand the situation. They're dangerous. And we don't know anything about them," Green Lantern said, like he was a baby.

"Yes, we do! They're kids and I can help!"

Green Lantern scoffed. "You're what— eight?"

He was actually twelve, but for that, Robin was going to cut this guy’s shins.

Robin took out a wingding, ready to slash this asshole's ankles when he felt Batman lift him up by the armpits and hold him up in the air, forcing him to be still. Of course, he could’ve just left Batman’s hold and probably cut his ankles too, but he decided to be gracious and let Batman hold him.

He did, of course, kick Batman backwards in the chest for daring to put him in air jail, but his armor was too strong so it didn’t do anything.

Robin pouted and glared at Green Lantern with laser-like eyes before he made a slashing motion across his neck with the wingding.

Green Lantern stared at him with horror before he shouted, "Spooky, he just threatened me! Is this normal?! What demon child do you have??"

Superman, who was behind Robin, said, "What? Robin wouldn’t do that! He’s an angel!"

Robin smiled evilly. "Yeah. I'm an angel."

Green Lantern blanched.

Batman huffed a laugh. "You're demon spawn, alright. Stop swinging your birdarang. I gave those to you to fight crime, not other heroes."

"It's a wingding, B!”

He was put down after another moment of having his legs swinging midair, and because he was an absolute angel, he didn't move to cut Green Lantern's kneecaps.

It was apparently visible on his face what he wanted to do because Green Lantern shuddered and moved backwards to hide behind Superman.

Robin sniffed dismissively and then turned to Batman. "Batman, we should help them! They called for me— they need me!”

Batman grew serious again and shook his head. "You don’t know that. They could be dangerous. Robin, you shouldn’t have come here.”

Robin scowled furiously. “Don’t tell me what to do!”

Batman groaned, raising his head to stare at the stars as if they would somehow give him strength.

Robin snorted coldly and ignored Superman’s worried gaze before he strode forward and peered through the window. He shooed Batman away with a hand as he tried to approach him.

“Shoo! I’ll handle this.”

“Robin—“

“You owe me,” Robin said stubbornly. He glared at Batman, who looked even more uncomfortable. “You left me behind. Alone. You owe me! I’m your partner! I shouldn’t have to stay behind just because you told me to!”

Batman grimaced and then awkwardly, he started to say, “Chum—“

Robin interrupted him again. “Stay to the side. I’m Robin, and I’m your equal. They asked for me.” Placatingly, he added, “I’m only going to talk to them.”

Green Lantern was muttering something to Batman in a hushed whisper, but Robin didn’t pay attention to him. He just stared at Batman with furrowed eyebrows and a pout. The two of them stared at each other before Batman nodded slowly. He looked like he was constipated.

“Fine.” His voice sounded particularly tight, as if he was gritting his teeth. “You can only talk to them. And we’re staying here.”

“Fine,” he huffed.

Robin turned back towards the window. Each celestial object spun in place, lighting up with flares and bright bursts of light. The one black hole was still, while the other three spun around and around, as if to encourage him. The planets that circled them continued to do so slowly, waiting.

The singing had not started again.

“Hello. I’m Robin, and I’m here to help you.”

The radio crackled, and then there was a soft, “Hello, Robin.” The call of his name was gentle, a combination of different, reverbed voices with a strange sense of affection and care.

Robin smiled cheerfully. He liked them even more for calling his mother’s nickname for him so gently. “What do you need?”

"You can help us."

“How so? If it’s possible, I’ll do what I can!”

The one voice who spoke up earlier than spoke over the other stars once more.

“Only you can help me, Robin.”

It was said with so much quiet reverence and pleasant softness, that all of them froze. The celestial objects that been moving on their own suddenly stilled again, all in unison with the one black hole.

Robin tilted his head, but a feeling of pride swelled in his chest and he asked, “What do I need to do?”

“Robin!” Batman hissed warningly, but didn’t do anything yet.

“Oh shit,” Green Lantern said, a little too loud.

That one voice continued to speak, as the others quieted, “I’ll be yours. If you can also be mine.”

Robin blinked curiously. “What does that mean?”

“Robin! No!” Batman shouted, but the stars started to whisper loudly, a noisy buzz as they spoke amongst the sound of crackling audio and water. Outside the window, the other stars and planets continued to remain still while the black hole starting to move, humming and thrumming. It flared and glowed with its bright rings pulsing around it.

“You will be my human. And I’ll grow up with you.”

Robin thought of the fact that this star was also a kid, just like him.

The humming grew louder as Batman bristled like a bothered cat.

“So what’s in it for me?” Robin ignored him and grinned, rocking on his heels.

“Robin! Do not!”

It didn’t sound too bad, and something told him that this star of his wouldn’t hurt him. It was like an instinctive understanding, one where Robin knew that this being wouldn’t betray him.

“I’ll protect you. I’ll be your star.”

Robin beamed. With Batman hurriedly striding over to him to pull him backwards, Robin nodded and said sweetly as he put his hand on the glass, “Deal!”

The black hole that hummed outside of the window lit up with a flash and a light flew towards their ship, darting towards Robin like a concentrated sun beam.

Batman gasped, horrified, “Robin!” as he lunged forward to shield him, but the light got to him first, striking him through his outstretched hand and then into his heart. Robin gasped and Batman surged forward, holding onto him tightly.

“Robin! Chum, are you alright?!”

Warmth spread through his body and settled in his bones, safe and hot, like drinking hot chocolate on a cold winter night after a good day of patrol. Robin instinctively pulled off his glove and went, “Wow!” as pale lines appeared on his skin, a four pointed star that split into two between his ring and middle finger on his left hand.

Red, black, and blue bled into his skin until a star appeared when he put his fingers together, a swirl of beautiful colors.

Batman grabbed him and pulled him away from the window.

“Robin! Are you okay? Talk to me!”

“I’m fine, B! Look! Isn’t it cool?” Robin asked excitedly.

“No,” Batman said snappishly. “It is not cool. Are you hurt? Do you feel anything wrong?”

“Nope! Just peachy!” Robin said, wiggling his fingers and watching the colored lines flex. “I’m all good!”

He paused and looked at his mentor, his guardian, his foster father, his Batman. He patted him on the shoulder as Batman knelt before him.

“I’m okay, B, promise.”

The whispering of the stars continued, something sweet and hopeful in their voices as they chattered unintelligibly. The black hole continued to buzz and then all of them were moving in unison again, spinning in peaceful circles as if nothing just happened. The singing also continued, now sounding much happier.

Green Lantern and Superman were staring out the window in horror while Robin continued to look at his new tattoo.

He liked it a lot. It was so beautiful that his heart ached.

Batman stared at him for a long moment. Then he abruptly stood up.

“We’re leaving. Right now,” Batman said. He picked up Robin who startled and then began to whine.

“Nooooo, I said I’m okay! I’m seriously okay! It’s rude to leave without saying goodbye, B!”

Despite how Robin complained, his star only got to murmur a small, “Goodbye, my Robin,” through the radio before Batman swiftly took him out of the command room and into a smaller shuttle.

Robin scowled and kicked Batman in the arm, knowing that even if he escaped, he wouldn’t have anywhere to go in order to escape his overprotective partner. Both Green Lantern and Superman followed, the latter nervously inspecting his hand with his newly formed tattoo.

Robin crossed his arms to not let Superman gawk at his hand any longer before he demanded, “So I can come back here, right?”

“No.”

“Then how am I going to speak to my star?!”

This time, it was Green Lantern and Superman who said loudly, “No!”

Robin cried out furiously, “You all suck!”

Of course, a few weeks later, Robin still snuck in. The space ship that they were on was still located there, now permanently stationed near that little galaxy as Batman overzealously studied the celestial objects that somehow touched him with a magic that no one could recognize.

Thankfully, Robin’s star was still there, just as it normally was.

As Robin crept closer to the window, he pressed his face against the glass and smiled at the sight of his star, a dark and glowing black hole that was now greedily consuming the purple and pink nebulae around it.

“Hello, my star,” he whispered, and his star flared briefly, lighting up with red and gold hues.

Robin beamed.

Yes, it was a good thing that he snuck on that ship that day.

||||||||||||||||||||||||||

Yes, Robin is a demon child. Why? No reason, I just think it's funny. Dan and Dick suit each other 🤣

It’s like a ship but also not a ship? Like I don’t think I’ll give the Phantoms human forms (it’s so much more fun if they’re just stars, but maybe in the far, far, far future they can be humans) but at the same time, this is like…. A qpp. In a weird way. Dan is like 14 tho, and now that Dick has agreed to be his “host” (he’s around 12 now), they’ll grow up together. Please tell me if I should make it a ship or not.

Y’know, I almost wanted to not post another celestial object AU at all bc someone was really rude to me about my last post on this idea. DO NOT reblog my posts with passive aggressive and rude remarks about what is canon and what is not. If you look at my page, you’ll see that I focus on Danny Phantom and DPxDC. NOT DCU!! And even then!! I focus only on the Batfamily!!

You are free to correct me (someone did that some time ago and I appreciate it, they were truly and genuinely trying to be helpful and I feel bad bc they deleted their comments.), but do not tell me what is right or wrong with DCU canon 😒 I don’t consume any DCU media other than some cartoon shows and a few comics.

Sorry for the little rant, it infuriated me when I saw that reply. I’m happy with any comments I get, I just despise it when people give me their unsolicited opinions

Anyways, hope you liked this update! I think I might make this a series?

#dc x dp #dp x dc #danny phantom x dc #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc #dcxdp #dark danny #dan phantom #dan fenton #dick grayson #celestial object au #danielle fenton #dani fenton #dani phantom #danielle phantom #danny fenton #jazz fenton #dp au #dp crossover

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fallstaticexit · 3 months ago

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The Art of Being Seen - a Nancy Landgraab story

୧‿̩͙ ˖︵ ꕀ⠀ ♱⠀ ꕀ ︵˖ ‿̩͙୨

𝔓𝔞𝔯𝔱 𝔒𝔫𝔢 - 𝔜𝔬𝔲𝔱𝔥

Prev / Next

AN / Transcript under the cut

AN: Nancy's story will consist of 3 parts: Part One- Youth | Part Two - Uni | Part Three - Wife Three pivotal moments in Nancy’s life that shaped the Nancy we know today.

As mentioned in the prologue, this story may contain mature and possibly even uncomfy themes and all posts will have their corresponding trigger warners in the post as well as the tags. Trigger Warnings are: Homophobia / Religious Trauma / Death via Car Accident/ Drugs / Alcohol / Infidelity / Sex & Nudity

Also, I have experienced CAS burnout lately, so I aged down most of the townies to teens lol. I figured this version of Cassandra Goth can be the AU version since I’ve already wrote Bella and Morti Goth into my Briar legacy, which this story is apart of that universe.

Transcript:

Cassie: This is Blair Hall, the senior girls’ dorm, and if you ask me, it’s the best one. We have our own private library. Down there is the rec room; we’re not allowed to have the boys over unless it’s with a chaperone.

Cassie: We’re also the closest to the church, which is great for when we have group sessions before service. You won’t have to rush and scarf down breakfast, plus you can sleep in a little!

Nancy: [sarcastically] Gee, how’d I get so lucky?

Cassie: Sister Agnes always says, It’s not luck—it’s a blessing! Vacancies are hard to come by. My old roomie withdrew; she had a really hard time fitting in with the other girls. They can be... kind of intense.

Dina: Oh, look. Another pretty blonde rich girl. Like those aren’t a dime a dozen here.

Nina: [scoffs] Here we go...

Dina: I am not joking. I better not catch her ass around Don. The last hoochie he was tonguing down was also a skinny, flat-chested, blonde bimbo.

Vanessa: You need to put his weenie in a cage instead of fighting every girl that breathes the same air as him.

Dina: Well, he wouldn’t be tempted if these floozies would stay away from my man!

Vanessa: I guess dyeing your hair blonde isn’t working for you, huh?

Dina: Oh, shut it, VV. You’re just jealous he isn’t into redheads.

Nina: Hmm, I thought he was into redheads though.

Dina: Ugh, as if!

Cassie: You can pretty much decorate your space however you want. Just nothing that’s on the prohibited list. There’s a room check every night before curfew, and-

Nancy: What do you know about that redhead on the balcony?

Cassie: Dina?

Nancy: No, she said her name was Vanessa. I ran into her this morning but she didn’t mention her last name.

Cassie: Oh, yeah! VV. Vanessa Villareal. She’s- eh, one of the mean girls. I try to stay out their way. Probably best you do the same.

Nancy: [softly to herself] Villareal. So, she’s old money, too.

Cassie: Her family built the school. Guess that’s why she feels like she can do whatever she wants- eh, don’t tell anyone I said that!

Cassie: But, erm, you’re welcome to hang out with me and my friends during rec and lunch and stuff. I know how tough it can, being the new girl and all.

Nancy: Yeah? ...thanks- Cassie, was it?

Cassie: You’ll totally like my friends. They’re the coolest people on Earth.

Cassie: Definitely better than some people. You can tell who goes here because of their faith and who was forced here because of their lack of it.

Cassie: Hey guys! This is Nancy, she’s my new roomie.

Bob: No way, they filled Angela’s spot already? Money talks. I’m Bob, or Bobby, and this cool, tall drink of water is Geoffrey. Welcome to Paradise.

Bob: [whispers] Geoffrey! Say something to the pretty girl!

Geoffrey: [voice cracks] W-we’ve um, met already.

Geoffrey: Our dad’s are friends. I just haven’t seen her since we were 10 years old. She looks so... different.

Bob: Oh, I seeee. First love? Your ears are beet red, my man.

Bob: Take a seat, newbie! Are you into D&D, perchance?

Nancy: I have no idea what that is.

Bob: Oh, ho ho! You’re in for a treat, m’lady. I’ll catch you up from the beginning of our campaign.

Vanessa: You look so bored. Want to get out of here, new girl?

Vanessa: Don’t worry, I’ll return you back to your nerds in one piece.

Cassie: [grumbles] Um, hello, we’re sitting right here?

Nancy: Go where, exactly? This place is in the middle of nowhere.

Vanessa: Guess you’ll have to come and find out.

Nancy VO: [I learned then, that I would follow her anywhere]

Dina: There she goes, taking in another stray.

Nancy VO: [All she had to do was take my hand]

#Landgraab story #nancy landgraab #dark academia #catholic school #sims 4 stories #ts4 simblr #sims 4 simblr #sims 4 community #ts4 story #a special big thank you to my sister for the title #you’re the best ✨#cassandra goth #geoffrey landgraab #bob pancakes #dina caliente #nina caliente #don lothario #Vanessa Villarreal OC

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fanby-fckry · 8 months ago

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You know what, I’m just gonna say it. I think that Alastor being aroace is part of the reason he’s so shippable to me.

Before you come at me, check the flag in my pfp; I’m aroace-spec.

Maybe it’s me projecting, maybe it’s because I love exploring relationships through an aroace lens, but goddamn. I ship him more than any other character and every time I do, his aroaceness is a major component in the ship.

Examples below the cut because it’s gonna get long:

📻🍎 || RadioApple:

There are so many versions of this dynamic and I am here for all of them.

We have the pre-canon kinky QPR that I show in UH3. I could talk about that all day, but to summarize:

Aroace x genuinely respectful allo is a dynamic that heals my soul.

Lucifer is less tied down by human constructs like amatonormativity, having never been human himself.

The Devil values consent.

Kinky cannibalism, kinky cannibalism, kinky cannibalism, kinky ca- *I am removed from the stage with a comically large hook*

Then we have the Evil and fucked up QPR dynamic:

And of course, trying to get along for Charlie’s sake and eventually bonding over their shared love of dad jokes and musical theatre, both being violinists (yup, Alastor plays violin too, check the wiki) with niche hobbies/interests (ducks, furby organ) and accidentally winding up in a loving, healthy QPR.

📻🕸️ || RadioDust:

There’s something about an aroace and a sex worker who very rarely falls in love.

Angel would know that Alastor isn’t with him for sex, would know that he values Angel beyond his body.

With greyro Alastor, Angel and Alastor would both be inexperienced with romance, but in wildly different ways. Angel has never had a healthy romantic relationship and therefor tries not to fall in love. Greyro Alastor has probably experienced romantic attraction like less than three times in his 100+ years of existence.

And if Alastor never gains romantic attraction for Angel, that’s a whole other level to the dynamic.

It’s got some great angst potential with Angel wondering if he’s not good enough to love romantically or Alastor feeling guilty or confused as to Why It Hasn’t Happened Yet when he cares for Angel so deeply, and eventually it gets resolved with the two of them accepting that their attractions don’t have to match up for them to love/appreciate/care for each other and they smash the amatonormative relationship hierarchy as queer platonic partners.

Or, Angel’s just totally cool with it from the start because he’s spent decades in the kink scene and has potentially been exposed to more relationship anarchy than Alastor.

Kink and queerness have a great deal of historical and cultural overlap, and that includes aroace queerness. Because Angel’s had way more canon exposure to both, it’s possible he knows more about Alastor’s orientation than Alastor does, and I love the idea of Angel introducing him to terms or just being super chill about not labeling things.

📻♥️ || RadioHusk:

Drawing like 90% from pilot dynamic and headcanon on this. They’re just two old men. They get drunk and cuddle. Alastor is one of the few people who knows Husk can purr and takes advantage of this fact. Alastor considers Husk a friend in a fucked up, possessive way. Husk considers Alastor a pain in the ass, but does care about him on some level.

It’s Fucked Up and Evil QPR: Remix Edition.

And the versions where the author puts them through fanfic couple’s therapy and actually gets them into a healthy point in their relationship? One where Alastor no longer owns Husk’s Soul? *chef’s kiss*

📻🌹 || RadioRose:

For me, personally, this is an exclusively nonsexual, non-romantic ship. They’re besties; they’re QPPs. They’re married for the tax benefits and so that they cannot be forced to testify against each other in court.

Rosie knew Alastor was aroace before he did and rather than sit down and explain it to him, she decided to make ace puns.

📻🖤 || RadioSiren: [edit, context here] RadioFemme

Ok, so this is entirely based on non-canon-compliant Lilith. Or, I guess, non-series-compliant Lilith. More of the old WOG stuff from the pilot era, with a healthy dose of headcanon for flavor.

I love the idea of Lilith and Lucifer having an open marriage; I love the UH3 style polycule dynamic.

Lilith being the original seductress and Alastor being aesthetically but not sexually or romantically attracted to her is very near and dear to my heart.

I’m an aroace with a voice kink who is aesthetically attracted to Lilith and I think Alastor is an aroace with a voice kink who would be aesthetically attracted to Lilith, ok?

📻📺 || RadioStatic:

I’m gonna be real with you, 90% of my interest in RadioStatic is in the one-sided version where Vox is a pathetic little incel simp and Alastor is either oblivious, mildly annoyed, or finds the whole thing hilarious.

Whenever there’s any reciprocation on Alastor’s part, I always imagine it being in a very aroace, very Alastor-esque way. He needs to be get something out of it completely unrelated to sex/romance. And he needs to be manipulative and sadistic in the process.

Whether that something is kink-related, a business transaction, or simply the quality entertainment provided by Vox being a cringefail TV-headed little bitch, I love to see it.

#hazbin hotel #alastor #radioapple #radiodust #radiohusk #radiorose #radiofemme #radiostatic #onewaybroadcast #fanby’s fuckery #osha violation #suggestive

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honeytama · 5 months ago

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Across the Fence

Neighbor!Matt Dierkes x Fem!Reader

A/N: I might pass out because of this. Need Matt’s drummer arms to save me. Ty to @areuirish for the pics! Extra tags: @abiomens @exitwoundsx

Summary: Matt and you have been house neighbors for two years and have never got along. Recently, the wooden fence that you two share is damaged in a storm. This dilemma finally makes you both face your hatred head on.

Content and Warnings: Enemies to lovers, Matt’s POV included, smut 18+, arguing/yelling/name calling, hate!sex (they’re in love idc), light degradation, throat fucking, choking/asphyxiation, raw p in v

Word Count: 3k

The day you met Matt was the day you moved into your new house. It was two years ago.

Unfortunately, you didn’t have anyone to help you that day; it was just you, your two dogs, and your packed, rented U-Haul. That Saturday morning also presented a storm, one that didn’t show up in the forecast, and you were soaked, frustrated, and just pissed off. It was supposed to be an exciting milestone and it wasn’t going as planned.

What upset you also, was that your two pit bulls, Daisy and Coco, had to stay in your new bedroom all day while you moved in.

At one point, you saw your neighbor just watching your demise through his front window. His arms were crossed over his chest and he gave you furrowed brows. You resented his nasty, judgmental glare.

You remember carrying one of your nightstands. Even that was heavy, and you couldn’t keep it from continuously bumping into your shins as you walked from the back of the truck to your front door.

He left the window and stepped out onto his front porch.

“You know if you carry it more like this—,” Matt started.

You stopped in your tracks and interrupted him, loudly, “Did I ask for your opinion?”

“I’m just trying to help!” He yelled at you through the sound of rain falling.

“If you want to help, come out into the rain or shut your mouth, you asshole!” You snarl. You remember your cheeks burned afterward.

You didn’t mean to call him names or scream, it was just the nature of that day and all of the obstacles you faced. A part of you wanted to apologize, but you watched as he threw his hand up to dismiss you, went inside, and slammed the door.

—

PRESENT DAY

Matt and you had a mutual hatred.

You two had not got into an argument like that since the day you met, but he’s found many other ways to get under your skin since then.

He plays loud music in his backyard while he grills or gardens. His friends take up parking space in front of your house without him asking.

The way he talks makes you so angry. He can be cocky and arrogant.

He hates that your dogs bark at squirrels that run along the top of the fence in the mornings. He hates that you like to stay up late and watch movies, so he complains that your TV light comes into his bedroom through your windows. Ugh.

This is why you two will never get along amongst a long list of other examples.

His tour dates are times you constantly look forward to and you would not be surprised if he became a tour manager just to be in a different city than you.

Last night, there was a storm just like the one you moved in with. It was loud and your pups were anxious, but it passed and this morning you relaxed with them on the couch.

“What the fuck?” You hear a male voice groan from your backyard.

You hop up and quickly go to your back window.

Matt’s there with his head in his hands standing next to a section of your shared fencing lying flat on the grass.

You leave out the back door and meet him.

“Our fence is so fucked,” he kicks the wood and reels back, “Ah, shit!”

“Are you okay?” You ask, truthfully.

“Don’t act like you care,” he grunts.

“Fine, then kick it again. That will fix it,” you taunt.

“Whatever. Just, help me move it out of the way,” he requests under his breath.

You two begin to lift both sides of the section to lean it against the standing fence.

“You’re doing it wrong,” he groans.

“If you try to tell me what to do again, then you can do it yourself,” you spat.

Matt rolls his eyes. “Why do you have to be so annoying?”

“I’m annoying?” You reel. “Look in a mirror, Matt.”

You two manage to move the section safely. You begin to walk away from him to head inside.

“You’re always coming to my door to complain about shit,” he says from behind you.

“Don’t forget that you do, too,” you turn halfway to face him. “It makes me wonder if you just want an excuse to see my pretty face,” you raise your brows teasingly.

He looks at you in disgust. “Not in a million years would I think you’re pretty, Y/N,” he retorts.

“Mhm,” you hum before turning away to return to your couch.

—

The same day, it’s dinner time and Daisy and Coco need to use the restroom and take some time to play outside. You think that as long as you keep an eye on them, then they won’t go on to Matt’s side of the backyard.

Trusting them as they’re always well-behaved, you look away for five minutes to gather things from your pantry and refrigerator to begin preparing your meal.

You’re evening is so serene until you hear the voice of your neighbor, again.

“Y/N!” Matt angrily calls to you from your backyard.

Ugh. You toss everything in your hands onto the counter and rush outside.

“What?” You raise your voice before noticing him standing on his side of the fence, his fists holding your dogs’ collars. “Matt, what happened?”

“Your dogs got into my garden and ruined my plants! Why aren’t you watching them?”

“I was watching them, you dick.” You walk over to take your girls’ collars into your hands before ushering them back into your side of the yard. “I looked away for five minutes!”

“You’re not watching them well enough, then!” He argues.

With your hands on your hips, “How do you even know they ruined your garden, huh? Did you forget the storm that took down our fence?”

“I saw them—,” he starts.

“Yeah, yeah. If you’re going to be so anal about my dogs coming into your yard while our fence gets fixed, then I better not see your dogs in mine,” you begin to lead your dogs back into the house.

“Fine!” He yells behind you.

“Fine,” you say under your breath.

—

MATT’S POV

Boo and Zeus are in Y/N’s yard. Fuck.

The sun has fully set, maybe two hours after Y/N and I had our argument over her dogs finding their way into my backyard.

I was sneakily making my way off of my patio onto her side of the yard to go search for them while thinking about how I talked to her earlier this evening.

I didn’t actually see Daisy or Coco near my garden. I think I just wanted an excuse to be angry over it being destroyed by the storm. Her dogs can be loud, but those girls are precious and I admit that Y/N is a great dog parent.

Also, I think I just wanted to see Y/N’s face again. That pretty, fucking beautiful face. I have to admit to myself that I tease her and complain to her so that I can get her reaction. I hate that I love hearing her voice.

“Boo! Zeus, back in the house!” I whisper to them once I find them. I follow them back to my patio, let them inside, and close the door behind them.

From behind me, Y/N’s living room lamp light softly illuminates her yard. My feet take me back there, involuntarily.

Looking into her home, she walks through her kitchen and living room in her underwear and bralette, shamelessly.

God, she looked good. Also, I should not be doing this.

When I finally look up from boring my eyes into the curve of her ass, our eyes meet.

I’m fucked.

“Matt, what are you doing?” Her voice is muffled but she walks over to her patio door in strides. “Come inside, now.”

—

READER’S POV

Matt kicks off his shoes once he’s inside. You want everything to scream his head off for violating your privacy, but all you can do is glare at him in silence.

“What are you staring at?” He questions you.

“Excuse me? Matt. I’m not the one peeping through your window, while you try to have a relaxing night,” you jab.

“I’m sorry. I was just trying to get my dogs back into the house and then I saw you—,” he explains and trails off with his eyes glued to your chest.

“I knew you had a crush on me,” you tease.

“What?” He raises his voice. “No!”

“So, you wouldn’t like it if I kissed you right now?” You step forward into his space.

“Not at all,” he chokes out.

“Or, touched you here,” you reach under his shirt and your fingertips graze his lower stomach, just above his waistband.

Matt’s breath catches, “No, because—.”

“Because why?” You whisper against his cheek.

“I hate you,” he says assertively before crashing his lips into yours.

“Mmm,” you let out a surprised moan into his mouth.

Your hand finds its way to the back of Matt’s neck, fingers threading through his hair, pulling him in closer.

He responds with a hunger that surprises you both, his arms wrapping around your waist, pulling you tightly against him.

Matt’s tongue fights yours for dominance and his teeth nibble your lip every so often. You yelp when his hand slaps your ass with a stinging pain. “Take me to your bedroom,” he says gruffly when you finally break apart.

“Matt,” you whine his name as pain turns to lust. You grab his hand and lead him into your bedroom where he pushes you against the closed door once you’re inside.

His lips attach to your neck and he marks you with bites and sucks on your delicate skin. You moan into his ear as he brings his hands to fondle your chest. Matt pulls the front of your bralette down to expose them to the chilled air. His fingertips roll and tug at your nipples, leaving them sensitive to the touch. You gasp as you feel his hard-on pressing into your upper thigh.

“Get on your knees, Y/N,” he commands.

You follow his order and you drop to your knees on the plush carpet. Without hesitation, you tug his joggers down his thighs and he pulls his shirt off to expose his chest. His hat falls to the floor in the process and it’s the first time you see his full head of light brown tresses.

Matt strokes himself and you look up at him in awe. His brows are furrowed again and small moans escape his lips when his thumb passes over a sweet spot under his cockhead. Your favorite part; he’s big. You’re eager to test if you can wrap your fingers fully around him.

“Open,” he tells you. You replace his hand with yours and wrap it around his shaft. Quickly looking, your fingers are a centimeter away from your thumb. Fuck. Your mouth opens up happily; you languidly stroke him while giving teasing licks to his tip. “If you make me cum, then maybe I’ll consider liking you after tonight,” Matt taunts.

You roll your eyes. “Mhm,” you moan as you wrap your lips around his tip.

You take him into your mouth as much as you can and use your hand to stroke his base. You watch his eyes as you bob on dick; his lips are slightly open and let out soft whines when you run your tongue over the spot you noticed earlier.

“God, you look so much better with your lips around my cock,” he hisses.

“Hm?” You make eye contact with him and smirk.

“I didn’t say you were pretty,” he corrects you. His dominant hand makes its way to the back of your head. “Can I?”

You nod and let your hand fall to the back of his thigh to brace yourself. You couldn’t deny an angry, sexy man from fucking your throat.

You groan on his cock once he begins thrusting his hips. Both of his large hands grasp the back of your head and he smiles down at the tears forming in your eyes.

“Never would I think your hard ass would let me make you drool like this,” he grunts with each thrust.

You clench your thighs hard at his words trying to feel some sense of relief. You envied any other woman that got to hear him talk to them like this. If your panties were off, then you wouldn’t be surprised if your juices dripped onto your carpet.

Matt slows when he feels your fingernails dig into the skin of his thigh, “Get on the bed, on your back.”

You stand, take a deep breath, and wipe your mouth as you enter your bed. “What? You’re not going to fuck me from behind? I thought you didn’t like looking at my face,” you taunt him while lying on your back.

Matt shucks his joggers off his feet and crawls to you on all fours until his face is above yours. His right hand comes to grip your chin, “I want to see what it looks like when a girl like you cums so many times she can’t run her mouth anymore.”

Oh.

He kisses your forehead quickly before he pulls your panties down your legs. You sit up a bit for him to tug your bralette off.

Matt raises your legs until they’re spread and fully expose your wet cunt. He nestles between his hips between yours and pushes the length of his cock through the slit of your lips. His cockhead grazes over your clit and you whine.

“You’re fucking soaked,” he groans. “You like to be degraded, huh? Who knew I’ve been turning you on these past two years by being an asshole?”

“I’ve touched myself to the thought of you,” you admit, reaching down to rub over your clit with your fingertips.

His hands squeeze your ankles. “I don’t believe you.”

“You can admit that you have, too,” you moan as he watches you circle your clit. “I’ve seen the tent I make in your pants when I groan your name, or call you a dick.”

“I hate you so fucking much,” he presses himself to the hilt into your pussy with one thrust.

“Ah, Matt, fuck you— you’re so big,” you gasp and furrow your brow.

He smirks and you know his ego has been stroked. Matt’s hands maintain the grip on your ankles to spread you open to use you. He begins to thrust into you at a quick pace and murmurs ‘I hate you’ when his tip taps the back of your cunt.

Tears form in the corners of your eyes from how full you feel. You've never been with a man that has made you feel like this before. You do your best to do anything to show him how good you feel, but at some point, you have no choice but to look up at him with an “o” on your lips and your eyes glossed over.

“Ok, now I’ll admit it,” he slows his thrusts for a second so you can hear him without the sound of your pussy squelching ruining his compliment. “You’re cute. Pretty, even.”

Your eyes roll back at his words and you moan even though your mouth is dry.

“What? Can’t talk back? I’ve always wanted to fuck you until you couldn’t speak,” he teases. In retaliation, you bring your hand to the back of his head, gather his hair, and pull it. “Shit,” he moans.

Matt reaches to place his hand on your chest above your breasts. You smile up at him with a glint in your eye hoping he wants to do what you think he does. You let go of his hair which captures his attention and you nod enthusiastically before looking at his hand.

With your luck, he understands and pushes his hand into the base of your neck and grips the sides. “What a good girl you are letting me choke you out,” Matt grunts.

His weight presses you into the mattress as he fucks your cunt mercilessly. His words and the feeling of the ridge under his tip caressing your sweet spot make your head feel light. You grasp Matt’s fingers around your neck to let him know to ease off.

He lets go and returns both his hands to your ankles, pushing your thighs further into your chest. It’s the first time you can see downwards; you watch the full length of his messy cock enter and exit you with the slapping sound of his hips on your ass. This just about tips you over the edge.

“Matt, make me cum, please,” you whine and look up to match his gaze.

He bites his lip and nods. “Touch yourself,” he demands breathlessly.

Your fingers return to your clit and you pass over it at a quick pace, eager to give him your first orgasm. You gasp as you feel your insides become more wet, like a pipe bursting.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” you moan and shut your eyes.

All he says is “Eyes.” and you shoot them open to maintain his eye contact. Matt furrows his eyebrows in concentration as he brings you to completion. The rush flows over your body and causes you to shake. All you can do is whine his name. It was more intense than any of the times you masturbated to the sound of his voice in your head.

You relax your head on the mattress and attempt to bring your heart rate down. “Thank you, Matt,” you breathe out. “I never thought I would say that to you.”

Matt strokes his still-hard dick while watching the quick rise and fall of your chest. “Y/N, we’re not done,” he reminds you. “You’re going to cum as many times as you can on my cock, my fingers, my tongue… until you can’t take it anymore.”

#matt content #matt dierkes x reader #matt dierkes smut #matt dierkes

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narrynukezankielover · 5 months ago

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This scene in Meta Fiction is amazing. They’re not even in the same city and yet they are having a moment. I find it funny though that Cas is talking to both Dean and Sam about the sign he found that’s attracting angels and then when Dean answers his question about the honour bar they start to have a private conversation and they both look soooo happy. Cas asks Dean how he is. Cas doesn’t know about Dean having the mark of Cain on his arm yet and he never once asked Sam how he is so he just wanted to talk to Dean alone. Sam is still sitting right there next to Dean and you can tell he’s thinking do you two realize I’m still here. Sam then talks to get the conversation back to the sign and you can see Dean is a bit annoyed.

I have no idea if this is the real Gabriel or not but at this point Cas thinks it is. Gabriel called Cas Deans boy toy and Cas just smiled and then rolled his eyes then when Cas asked about what Gabriel has seen he said you mean after it was raining winged men hallelujah? The song It’s Raining Men is a gay song so it sounds like Gabriel (if it’s really him) or Metatron (since in the episode he wrote this scene) is calling Cas gay. Thing is it’s hard to tell if Cas knows about the song or not. Knowing Cas he probably doesn’t so he probably didn’t pick up on that. Obviously all the angels know about Cas and Dean so it’s not a big thing for an angel to call Cas Deans boy toy or gay but usually he gets a bit shy when someone says something this time he didn’t which leads me to think maybe he talked to the real Gabriel about Dean. They are brothers and by the sounds of it Cas seems pretty comfortable around him. There were some funny scenes with them like Cas not paying attention in the store and Gabriel having to turn his head for him which I’ve read was unscripted because Misha wasn’t paying attention so Rich (I believe I got his name right) just moved his head for him. It would be nice to have him in more scenes with Cas and Dean because I have a feeling he’d be like Sam knowing about them and letting them have their moments but he’d probably come out and say I’m still in the room.

This is cute. Dean is worried to death about Cas since he hasn’t called or texted him and he put the GPS on Cas phone. I’m assuming after what happened when Cas was human and all the angels were trying to kill him and by the time Dean and Sam got to him he got killed that Dean decided that wasn’t going to happen again so he put the GPS on Cas phone so he could get to him before other angels could. It’s funny though that Sam is wondering what happened to Cas but he’s not worried and when Dean tells him to go find Cas Sam is like I don’t want to go.

Cas knew there was something different about Dean but he didn’t know what until Dean touched him. I’d like to know if Cas felt like a burning or something from the mark of Cain or if he just somehow knew because he just grabbed Deans arm and pulled up his sleeve.

I love this part in ep 22 because it shows how much Cas has changed. Finding out that angels are killing other angels because they think Cas told them to makes him feel sick. It just shows how different he is from other angels because the other angels probably wouldn’t care.

The next two scenes are a great example of Sam knows. Cas says that he would never make an angel die to kill another angel and he is hurt that Dean thinks that he would and that Dean brought up the time Cas thought he was god. Sam has to get Cas and Dean into another room away from the angels and tells Dean basically that that’s in the past and then when Cas and Sam are in the car together Sam has to calm Cas down telling him that it’s the mark making Dean act that way.

This scene proves that it’s the mark that made Dean say that stuff because here Dean tells the reaper that what she said about Cas doesn’t sound like the Cas he knows. Which means he knows Cas has done some bad stuff in the past (they all have) but he also knows that Cas has changed.

Don’t loose it over one man. She could mean the army but she could also mean falling in love. Dean doesn’t look scared at all. He knows Cas wouldn’t hurt him. Cas couldn’t kill Dean when he was being mind controlled and being told to kill Dean there’s no way in hell he’d be able to kill Dean when he’s himself. Cas doesn’t even think about it he grabs the sword and says he can’t.

This scene is interesting because they both already admitted to themselves that they love the other but here it’s like they know that the other loves them but they are choosing to ignore it because they are scared. Dean went from yelling at Sam, telling him that they aren’t a team that its a dictatorship and that he is in charge to literally two seconds later talking nice and sweet to Cas telling him that the three of them will fight Metatron and being worried about Cas stolen grace. Cas has very good hearing being an angel so he had to of heard Dean and Sams conversation and heard how different Dean talked to him as opposed to how he talked to Sam. Cas asked Dean if he really thought he told the angels to kill other angels and Dean said you just gave up an army for one man no I don’t think you did that. Clearly they know what’s going on. Lastly when Gadreel came in the room Dean almost ran to get between Cas and Gadreel. Cas is a strong angel even with stolen grace and yet Dean still wants to protect him. I have no idea how strong Gadreel is but I’m sure he’s stronger than a human.

#castiel #cockles #dean x castiel #destiel #deancas

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thetiredstuff · 2 years ago

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This is just mostly a handy little post for me but I asked people to rec me some destiel AU best friends to lovers fics and this is what I got:

Recs from ltleflrt:

okay, cupid. by orange_crushed On Air by wincechesters Just Turn Around and Go by @porcupine-girl Version 2.0 by Elizabeth1985 aka @cocklesheadboop Ignore the Butterflies: Best Friend Advice from Dean Winchester by impatient14 A Match Made (and Misunderstood) by surlybobbies More Views. More Money. by herbivoredinosaur Remember When by VioletHaze aka @scones-and-texting-and-murder When In Vegas by Dmsilvis & TobytheWise

Recs from doctorprofessorsong

One of my favorite fics of all time is Evangelist by @valleydean. It's really enemies to friends to lovers but the enemies part becomes friends pretty quickly because they are deeply obsessed with each other. One of the classics if you haven't read it is To Build a Home. Childhood friends who broke up and find themselves back in each other’s life. It is very angsty but they have a lifelong friendship so you get a lot of childhood and teenage friendship moments. If I may self recommend, I just wrote Can't Fight the Moonlight in which they are in this post canon partnership and both want to add sexual intimacy but the partnership is soft so you get some really fun platonic intimacy. It's not AU, obviously, but may have something of what you want. Seraph by @dothraki-shieldmaiden is a superhero au where they are friends and roommates to lovers. It has great world building. More than Kisses by @friendofcarlotta is a friends to lovers epistolary romance. Dean and Cas are pen pals and they share an absolutely gorgeous emotional intimacy. Tiamatv has a few that fit the bill. I'm gonna mention Marchen because I love the world built in that one. Dean Winchester is a prince locked in a tower. Feel free to also skim my fic recs. @riversrecs

Recs by castiellesbian:

tiamatv's "It's the End of the World (As We Know It)" is a friends to enemies to lovers if that counts? They were childhood best friends in that one "A Midterms Night's Dream" by Englandwouldfall is an au where they're roommates (oh my god they were rommates). "In Some Sacred Place" by schmerzerling is a good one where they're friends throughout most of the fic, but it's kind of depressing overall

Recs from porcupine-girl

Just Turn Around And Go (roommates-slash-best-friends): https://archiveofourown.org/works/4228830 Like four weddings and a funeral but without the funeral (Sam POV, Sam is clueless and doesn’t realize they’re together): https://archiveofourown.org/works/6225625 Go Down With This Ship (online fandom besties, don’t realize they know each other irl): https://archiveofourown.org/works/8023642

Rec by trampledundercas

#i thought of ‘ready to fall’ by lemonsorbae on ao3

A whole bunch of recs from dean-you-assbutt-cas-loves-you

A Tale of Two Tropes by Amelia_Clark (E, 7k) As You Walk On By by MercyBraavos (E, 23k) Are We Any Different? by LeviathanBlue, SerpentCountess (T, 41k) More Than Kisses by FriendofCarlotta (E, 29k) things i knew when i was young by stormwarnings (T, 16k) Alright by turningthepages (T, 46k) To Build a Home by intothesilentland (M, 383k) When In Vegas by Dmsilvis, TobytheWise (E, 16k) The Ocean Between Us by noxsoulmate (E, 27k) Room for Two (The Mattress AU) by almaasi (E, 14k) Honey-Baked by mishaminion69, sydkn3e (E, 89k) The Ones We Choose by lightmyway (E, 82k)

EDIT: MORE:

Recs by bexfangirlforlife:

The Graveyard Shift by riseofthefallenone. PurgatoryJar Evangelist by embrancsxx0 Stay with me Sweetheart by Mandalarose We are what we pretend we are by tricia_16 Tricks of the Trade by Trenchcoat_Impala

Recs by impaledbeetle:

okay, cupid by orange_crushed Seek to Know You Better (E) by ahurston Après (E) by Imogenbynight Here's a couple aus that i really really enjoy that aren't necessarily best friends to lovers: spirit of the west (M) by teen_dean Parachutes (E) by chaoticdean (this one literally changed my life it is so good) And This, Your Living Kiss (M) by opal_bullets (again, this is life changing) Roll With It (E) by saltnhalo (this is a The Proposal (movie) au) Shut Up (Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is) (E) by kototyph

Recs by butch--dean:

spirit of the west by teen-dean (everyone should read this 90's horse girl dean au where he befriends cas, a local veterinarian) I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart) by unicornpoe (I am a sucker for all "cas using dean as a vessel" fics) Après by imogenbynight (surely everyone has read this? dean and cas in paris what more can you ask for) under the midnight sun by northernsparrow (dean is the caretaker of a research station in the arctic and cas is a mysterious bird researcher) (I also rec you can keep holding on by this author but be warned that it is very grief-driven - but it is an in-depth study of the way they care for each other) though the course may change by imogenbynight (fake dating AU at a couple's retreat - another one that everyone has probably read but is so worth mentioning in case you haven't) there's no cell service in the afterlife by screamsintothesun (cas gets back from the empty and his phone blows up with dean's voicemails & texts) Gold in the Edges of Our Vision by SewingNatural (dean and cas eat peaches together on a hot summer evening. The writing style on this one is really really lovely) these are just a few from my bookmarks but also there is a really good rec list here & here (this one has a link to a specific friends to lovers list here) that I refer to often when looking for new fics/authors to dig through!!

Recs by mercurialkitty for some reason tumblr won't allow me to add them to my post so just click on their name to go to their post!

These are all the ones i've gotten up til now but will def edit if I get any more. If you see this post and think of a Destiel AU best friend to lovers fic that isn't on here or just a Destiel AU (no abo) fic that isn't on here: PLEASEEEEEE GIVE ME ALL THE DESTIEL AU FIC RECS (no abo)

Also i didn't tag the people who recommended it cuz I don't wanna annoy them but I linked back to all of their original posts or comments!

A hugeeeeeeee thank you to everyone who replied to my annoying messages for fic recs cuz I really really appreciate it. thank you all so so so much!!!!

#to read #destiel #i love my husbands #spn #supernatural #destiel fan fic #spn fan fics

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asmo-d3us · 5 months ago

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angsty & regulus’ death || the letter dorcas received from her first ever friend || part 5 of 8

~*~*~*~*~*~

~*Dorcas Meadows*~

Dorcas never thought that she would live a life without her friends. Those boys. Those boys who always accompanied her everywhere, those boys who never dared to disappoint her, those boys who pranked with her, who danced with her, who shared the best memories with her. The boys who betrayed her, and broke their promise.

But it was fine! It was absolutely fine, because she still had Pandora, and those boys were bad people. They will kill, they will murder, and they will commit crimes. Dorcas is better off without them.

In all honesty, Cas isn’t so sure about that.

It’s been so lonely without them, so depressing. Dorcas doesn’t feel like herself. She feels hollow, in despair, in heartbreak. She misses the comforting laughter of her friends during dark nights in the common room, watching the giant squid glide by the windows. She misses the feeling of rare and meaningful hugs. She misses her boys. Her precious siblings, destined for doom at the end.

Regulus, cold complexion but a warm heart, harsh glares but soft smiles, heated words accompanied by the warmest hands. Regulus, who would find asking for help embarrassing. Regulus, who scolded all of them but laughed behind the scenes. Regulus, who nearly cried alongside the tears of one of his fellow friends. Regulus, who acted so tough, when he was not–just in case Sirius was watching.

Barty, big smiles and small ounces of shame, cold hands but warm greetings, annoying snores with comforting touches. Clingy, but shameless. Loving, but secretive. Dorcas wishes more people could’ve gotten to know him. The best side of him. She wishes they could just understand where they came from, their backgrounds. But no, they judge. They judge without reading the words in the book. They judge by the printed cover.

Remembering the way Barty’s gaze would change whenever Evan stepped into the room was bittersweet. Their soft smiles, soft slide of skin-on-skin, warm hugs and softly spoken words. It filled Dorcas up with love, this new thing between them. She wasn’t used to it, but she knew they needed it. She wonders if they’re still alive. She shouldn’t think about them too much, but she can’t help herself.

And there was Evan. Soft chuckles and loud gazes, quiet nods and hums yet his presence was so there, she didn’t know how to explain him. He was different, carried a different aura, a different energy. All she knew for sure was that if they were straight, she would’ve fallen for him. Flawless skin, perfect teeth, pale glowy skin, slim figure, thin hands, soft locks, deep voices and fragile giggles. She knew why Barty loved him. How couldn’t you?

Dorcas cocooned into the corner of the room, gazing out the window and at Regulus’ star. I miss him the most, I think. She thought to herself. I love them all the same, but I miss him. She didn’t know why, well–she did, but she didn’t know why this sudden feeling of want took over her heart. She closed her eyes, the bright blinking of the star flashing behind her lids.

There came a soft clacking noise from nearby and she cracked open an eye, leaning off the wall in surprise when seeing Regulus’ owl. She stood, walking towards the bird and peering into its wet eyes. She shouldn’t grab the letter. She shouldn’t read it, it’s for the best. She’s gotten enough letters from Barty and enough letters from Evan (a handful, which is quite much coming from Ev), and one single letter from Reg, including this one. Normally, she would’ve ignored the owl like any sane person, but before she could process, the letter was in her hand and the owl long gone over the horizon. She looked up, and Regulus’ star was dim. She furrowed her brows, fiddling with the bent corners of the thick envelope. The star should be the brightest today.

Gulping, she pulled herself away from the window, sitting back down in her tiny corner and glaring unblinkingly at the letter. Laughter at Barty’s jokes, smiles when sharing a knowing glance, hugs when upset, cheering at quidditch, giggles when Potter would stare at him, drama about Lupin being a supposed ‘werewolf’, books being traded between them both, reading quietly in the library while Barty and Evan disrupted peace across the room accompanied with Pandora’s lectures, teasing with crude and dark jokes, memories. Many of them.

She plucked open the poorly stamped wax, her fingers shaking like petals in wind. She tugged out the thickly folded letter delicately, brows scrunched when a separate sheet of paper slipped from between the cracks of the hastendly written letter. She placed that aside, and began to unfold the scrunched up message.

She cleared her throat, blinking with dry eyes, and she read.

______________________

08/01/79

Dear older sister,

If you have received this letter, I am dead. I have told Kreacher to send out all of my letters if I don’t make it back. In all honesty, I always knew I wouldn’t make it back, but I foolishly kept my hopes up. I kept my hopes up that if I went on just a day longer, things would change. But they didn’t. To make sure you read this letter, I have sent an owl to accompany it and bring it to the receiver.

I’m sorry to surprise you like this, especially when we aren’t close like we used to be anymore. I wanted to leave this world knowing the latest memories you have of me are good ones. I know you knew something was wrong with me, and you were right. You always know when something is wrong, and I love you for it.

I hope you never forget me and who I was. I hope when you hear anyone (my brother) speak badly about me you will roll your eyes and defend me. I know you would either way, but it is my wish for you.

Actually, I have a different wish for you when I die. Whenever you stumble upon Barty, Evan, even James, Remus, Lily, and Sirius, show them respect. I want the people I love showcasing love for each other. Even if you must force it.

I promise you, I will be waiting for you all after death. I promise I’ll be here. There is no point anyway in denying everything, I already know I’ll be dead. Don’t ask how, or why I know.

Do not tell anyone what I am about to tell you, but I know how Evan and Barty will die. Someone has told me, but I won’t say names. Spend as much time with them as you can, or at least see them as much as you can. Be strong, nothing will end easy.

I wrote another letter alongside this one. You and Pandora are the only ones who’ve got one. It’s a plan for both of you, just know there is a risk of death.

Maybe in another life we’ll all be able to grow old together as a close group of friends. Inseparable. Maybe in another life things won’t end this way and we could’ve gotten to know each other as much as we could. I face death with the hope that you will all live long and healthy lives, and if not, I fill myself with yet another foolish hope that when we all die, we’ll be reunited.

Remember our friendship, and control your anger.

R.A.B.

______________________

Dorcas shut her eyes tightly, hot tears racing down her chocolate cheeks. She rose up from the floor, knees weak, and she stared upon the star once more. It was dimmer. Fading. But it was still flickering with its remaining energy. He’s not dead, she thought, feeling her heart sink lower down into the trenches of her gut, he’s dying.

She didn’t allow herself to cry. She picked up the other letter, quickly reading the words, Horcrux, spell, potion, death, the dark lord being the only things she understood.

“Panda.” She gasped, clutching both letters and storming out of the room and down the hallway, rapidly clasping onto her bag and rushing to the fireplace. She picked up the floo, and threw it down with an exasperated call of her best friend's location.

Hogsmeade with her friends, Regulus’ swatting hands, Barty’s hyena cackles, Evan’s twinkling eyes, Pandora’s flower crown. Christmas break, Regulus’ eyes filled with dread, Barty pacing the room, Evan sobbing with the mark on his arm, and Pandora nowhere to be seen.

Year 4, Regulus’ transition, Barty’s intrigued stares, Evan’s proud eyes, and Pandora’s knowing smirk. Sirius running away, Regulus’ desperate wails for his brother, Barty’s screaming in fury, Evan’s throbbing headache and pacing, and Pandora’s comforting back rubs.

She landed, nausea stars clouding the corners of her vision. “Panda,” She wailed, collapsing her weight against the door. “Pandora!” she wailed with a scream, scratching the wooden door of the Lovegood residence. Finally, the door opened. And there she was, eyebags and chapped lips.

“Dorcas?”

2 years later, Dorcas Meadows didn’t control her anger after Marlene’s death.

~*~*~*~*~*~

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wrenwinchester · 9 months ago

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Bear with me here. Because I have. Some thoughts.

First things first, visit here for another in depth analysis of the table carvings that doesn’t really have anything to do with my commentary, but I found it while looking for the picture for the table and liked their analysis. So….

Anyway, the table. We watch as Sam and Dean carve their own initials, and we know Mary’s initials get added after her death in season 14. That’s all fine and dandy. And we know Cas and Jack’s names get added sometime after Cas’s death, and presumably after Jack leaves, but we don’t really know when, or even by who. We also don’t really know who carved Mary’s initials, not really.

However, we see Sam and Dean’s different styles of carving into things twice. (Sorry about the gore it was the cleanest picture I could find of the car initials completely.)

Now, neither of the boys are identical, however, we can see a distinct difference between Sam and Dean’s style. Dean carves deep, so it will stay a long time, despite wear and tear. Sam however carves wide. He carves out his initials instead of making a hole. It’s much more surface level, almost as if he’s scared of getting in trouble and wants it to be easier to get rid of. But that’s something we can get into later.

When they add Mary’s initials there are a couple things that tip us off that it was Dean who actually carved them in, A) they’re from that direction, which is the side/seat Dean almost always sits in when both brothers are up and about. And B) it has that same depth to it as his initials, and the same style of how the lines meet. Therefore Dean carved Mary’s initials.

However, this brings us back to Jack and Cas.

Both Cas and Jack’s names have that same width over depth, more surface level carving as Sam’s initials. Especially when compared to Dean and Mary’s. The S in Castiel has very similar strokes to the S for Sam’s initials, and the A’s and C’s in their names are similar if not the same (or as same as they can be considering they were carved into wood and sometimes the grain of the wood disrupts flow a little bit).

This, to me, means that Sam was the one to carve Castiel and Jack’s names into the table. And I’d even bet, that he didn’t do it until after Dean died.

Now I could be wrong about this last part, but if I’m remembering correctly, we don’t see all five names/initials until after Dean’s death. While Sam is sitting at the table (notably in Dean’s spot, and wearing dean’s sweatshirt.) with Miracle, so it’s plausible, and even probable.

And I’d bet he did it when he decided he couldn’t live in the bunker anymore without Dean because every little thing reminded him of his brother. And I’ll bet he did it because they are a part of his family and they deserved to be remembered too.

Castiel, the angel of Thursday, the angel who betrayed heaven for the sake of humanity. Who chose over and over again to take the Winchester’s side over any other supernatural being because he trusted their sense of right versus wrong. Castiel, one of the Winchester’s only friends who stuck around, who made sure that they took care of themselves, and made sure to save them while they were saving the world. Castiel, the Winchester’s best friend.

And Jack, their kid. Sure, he was the spawn of Lucifer, but he was Castiel’s kid. He was Sam’s kid, and he was Dean’s kid. (I’ll get to a rant about Dean and Jack’s relationship at a different point because I have thoughts.) Jack saved the world, and he turned out good because of Castiel, because of Sam, and because of Dean. Jack took the mantle of God to protect the world, so he could protect his family, and keep the angels from interfering with human affairs.

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amhrosina · 2 years ago

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Favorite Kind of Trouble (Matt Murdock x f!Reader x Frank Castle)

MASTERLIST // JOIN MY TAG LIST

A/N: Hiiiii! I feel like it’s been forever since I posted anything, but it’s only been a little over a week! While I battled writer’s block and also had one of the roughest weeks of my life, there was a resounding desire in my asks/replies for another poly!fic with Frank, reader, and Matt, and I finally got around to writing it today! I hope you enjoy it! Also a big shout out & thank you to my lovely beta reader @wheredidiputmyfish for being so great!

**This poly fic can be read separately from the others I’ve written, but at this point, they all take place in the same universe and are just glimpses into their relationship at different times, so if you like their dynamic, you can find links to the rest of the fics here or here!**

Summary: Frank and you get up to no good at a gala event, and Matt’s enhanced senses can’t help but focus on the pretty sounds you’re making from across the room.

(Warnings: oh brother, smut, like pretty much all smut zero plot, somewhat dom!frank, somewhat sub!matt, switch!reader, semi-public fun!!!, fingering, dirty talk (frank mainly lmfao), blow job, choking, wholesome poly flirting, frank and matt think they’re unworthy of each other!!!, they’re all idiots in love)

The gala had officially stretched into its fourth hour, and you couldn’t believe how incredibly unperturbed Matt looked as he politely chuckled at, yet another, bad joke told by the snobby businessman in the too-tight tux. You shifted in your seat, subtly stretching your legs towards Frank, who at least had the decency to look bored. Under the table, your left thigh brushed against his right, and his attention shifted to you as he cocked an eyebrow in your direction.

God, he was so pretty. You didn’t tell him enough, but every time Frank looked at you, even when you were out in public and he refused to let his guard down, the subtle softening of his eyes when they landed on you made him the prettiest goddamn man you’d ever met. You flicked your gaze across the table to Matt, who was putting on a good show and pretending to listen to a rather boring anecdote – the only man that rivaled Frank in the looks department – and they were both wound so tightly around your finger that you couldn’t imagine being happier with anyone else.

Most of the public had no idea that you, Frank, and Matt were something of a trio. They didn’t even know Frank’s real name. To most people, and certainly to the prying eyes of the elites attending the gala, you and “Pete” were a wealthy, but private couple who knew Matt through connections in the art world. They had no idea that the three of you shared a bed, a home, a life together. As frustrating as it was to keep that part of his life a secret, Matt gladly played the part. They didn’t get to wake up wrapped in the arms of the people he loved, and that’s really what mattered to him, and that way, Frank could have the honor of staking his claim over you in public. It all worked out rather well, when he thought about it.

Your gaze returned to Frank. Your eyes slowly followed the trail of buttons up his torso, over the bowtie at the base of his neck, attention snagging on his lips before finally meeting his intense stare. To others, Frank might look stoic, bored, and maybe even annoyed, but you saw the desire in his eyes, felt the way the muscles in his thighs flexed as he shifted in his seat. He wanted it too, even if he didn’t realize it yet.

The gleam in your eyes told him you were up to something, and even if he wasn’t able to read the mischief in your smirk, the subtle twist in Matt’s neck as his ears perked up told him everything he needed to know. Frank leaned closer to you, brushing your bare shoulder with his lips before whispering in your ear.

“Spread your legs, sweetheart.”

Your breath hitched, and you nearly swore when his fingertips brushed over your bare knee. An innocent stroke of the hand from a caring lover. A simple, loving gesture between the mysterious couple that kept mostly to themselves at events like these. That’s what anyone who might be watching would assume, and you knew it.

“What if someone sees?” You breathed in a hushed whisper, but your legs were already opening for him. The effect he had on you was maddening.

“No one can see us.” He assured you, promptly glancing around the room again to solidify his promise. His hand rubbed lazy circles on your thigh, fingertips barely ghosting over the skin of your inner thigh as he slowly made his way up your leg.

“What if someone hears?” You eyed him warily, though the spark of desire had shot through you like a bullet the second he’d made contact with your skin.

“If you’re worried about it, you’ll just have to stay extra quiet, sweetheart.” He lightly flicked your nose with his free hand, grinning as annoyance briefly crossed your face. “Besides, Red’s bored too. He’s probably harder than I am right now, wishing he could touch himself under the table like I’m about to do to you.”

The abrupt sound of Matt’s knee crashing against the underside of the table pulled your attention from Frank. The guests seated near him jumped as he fumbled to catch his wine glass before it tumbled to the floor. You bit your lip in an attempt to smother your giggle. For a moment, the room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Matt cleared his throat, apologizing under his breath as he took a hefty swig of his wine. As the conversations around the room picked back up, Matt glared in your direction. You looked back at Frank, who was smirking.

“Want to play a game, sweetheart?” He whispered, breath coasting over the curve of your ear.

“Is it at poor Matty’s expense?” You cooed, spreading your legs wider as his fingertips grazed the lace of your underwear.

“Maybe.” He smirked, kissing the corner of your mouth.

He shifted your underwear aside, and you had to take a deep breath so that you didn’t moan as the cool air kissed your wet cunt. Frank was normally a patient man when it came to coaxing an orgasm out of you, opting to draw out the experience so that you could enjoy it as much as possible, even if that meant teasing you for hours before finally giving in to your begs. But tonight, with his attention half on you and half on Matt, he had very little patience for games. Not that you were complaining.

He slid a finger through your folds, relishing in the warmth and slickness he found there. You tensed in your seat, flicking your gaze to Matt, who looked like he was going to be sick. Frank’s warm breath heated your neck as he whispered against your skin.

“How long do you think Red will last like this?” He asked, eyes briefly flickering to Matt before returning to yours. He gently circled your clit, eyeing the heat that was crawling up your neck. “How long do you think he’ll be able to hear your pretty little moans before it becomes too much for him?”

Matt tugged at his bowtie, clearing his throat as sweat beaded on his forehead. The tension in the air was electric, and when he parted his lips, allowing the fullness of your desire to hit his senses, it nearly undid him. You were so wet around Frank’s fingers, and the sounds of your soft hums of pleasure combined with Frank’s teasing tone was enough to make him so hard that it ached. He tried and failed to divert his attention back to the conversation around him, only able to focus on your quiet sighs and Frank’s encouraging mumbles.

“I know you can hear us, Red.” Frank teased, adding pressure to your clit. You gripped your seat with white knuckles, panting at the friction building in your core. “I couldn’t help myself. She looks,” he plunged an additional finger into your cunt for emphasis, “ravishing tonight.”

Frank could feel how close you were, relished in the tightness of your cunt as it clenched around his fingers. Matt, he guessed, was not far behind you. He looked like he was on the verge of tears, fumbling with his glass as he tried to look interested in the story being told.

“C’mon Red. You know it’s impolite for a man to cum before a lady.” He mumbled, breathing into your ear. His eyes flickered between you and Matt, and both of you looked like you were about to cry. Matt’s fingers tightened on the glass, and you clenched around him again. “Don’t you want to cum in her tight cunt later? Don’t you want to fuck your cum deep into her pretty pussy? She’s been such a good girl tonight. She deserves our cum, Red, don’t you think?”

His vulgar words were your undoing. You wilted against his chest as your orgasm crashed through you, the throbbing pressure easing as he coaxed it out of you. You moaned as quietly as you could, muffled only by the fabric of Frank’s coat as you shuttered against him. Simultaneously, as you came around Frank’s fingers, Matt’s hand clenched around the wine glass so tightly that the glass cracked, and then shattered all over the table, spilling a red stain down the front of his pristine shirt.

The crowd around Matt shrieked, and Frank watched as he calmly excused himself from the table and hurried towards the bathroom. Guilt crashed through him, though he was sure Matt wouldn’t be upset about the shirt. He likely wouldn’t be upset about the small cuts in his hand either. Matt was forgiving like that. Frank didn’t feel like he deserved one bit of his kindness.

“Is she okay?”

The voice drew him out of his thoughts, back into his body, which was half curled around you as you recovered from your intense orgasm. The stranger sitting diagonal from you and Frank eyed him warily.

“Too much,” you panted, excuse already on the tip of your tongue, “wine. I think I had too much wine, darling.”

You ungracefully attempted to stand, and Frank wondered how much of this was for show and which parts of it were genuine as you leaned into his arms for support. The shakiness in your legs was definitely real, he decided.

“I’m going to take her to the bathroom to sober up. Thank you.” He nodded at the man, who was already half engrossed in another conversation as he led you in the direction that Matt had come a few minutes earlier. As soon as the two of you were out of sight, you straightened, giggling at the show you’d had to put on.

“I didn’t know I was dating an actress.” Frank grinned, rapping on the bathroom door with his knuckles.

“I didn’t know either.” You laughed again.

The door unlocked, and you and Frank covertly slid into the bathroom with Matt, who was a heated, panting mess against the tile of the walls. You could clearly see his desire tented in his pants, and you smirked at Frank in response.

“We did that.” You murmured, stepping closer to Matt’s whining figure.

Frank hummed, reaching for Matt’s hand and inspecting the wounds inflicted by the wine glass. You paused, waiting for a signal from Frank that Matt was okay. Matt was so delirious and high on desire that you knew he could be bleeding out and would insist that he was okay. A slight nod of Frank’s head told you to continue.

You sank to your knees, quickly unbuckling Matt’s belt and pulling his cock free from his pants. Frank wrapped a hand around Matt’s throat, gently pressing him against the wall as you licked the underside of Matt’s cock. Matt whimpered, involuntarily bucking his hips in response.

“Be patient, Red,” Frank murmured, pressing a kiss onto Matt’s jaw, “We’ll take care of you.”

You wrapped your lips around Matt, bobbing up and down his length in a feverish haze. Matt was so worked up that you knew it wouldn’t take long to undo him. Matt tried and failed to keep his whimpers and groans quiet, and he was so loud at one point that Frank had to cover Matt’s mouth with his hand, smothering the noises he couldn’t help but make.

You pushed yourself further down his length, opening your throat to him as you hurried your pace. Matt tensed, grabbing onto Frank’s arm as he let out a stunted groan. He grunted, and you felt thick spurts of cum make their way down your throat. You swallowed around him, grinning when he rested his head against the wall behind him, panting so hard that it sounded like he had just finished running a marathon.

You stood, adjusting your dress as Matt’s consciousness finally returned to his body. He smirked as he adjusted his pants.

“You two are the worst kind of trouble.”

“We're your favorite kind of trouble.” You corrected, chuckling and eyeing the stain that probably wouldn’t come out of Matt’s shirt no matter how hard you scrubbed it. “Sorry about your shirt.”

“And your hand.” Frank added. Guilt flashed in his eyes, but it ebbed away as Matt kissed both of you deeply, hands gently cradling the two of you. Matt wouldn’t admit it so nonchalantly, but when he got the chance to hold both of you like this, he felt like he was holding his entire world in the palms of his hands.

“I’m not upset. I love you. Both of you.”

Frank nodded, humming in acknowledgment, and you noted the way Matt’s jaw ticked. You knowingly squeezed his hand. Frank didn't believe he was worthy of anyone’s love, let alone Matty’s, and you and Matt both knew it. But it wasn’t the time or place for that conversation, and you had no doubt he would breach that topic of conversation later, when Frank’s guard wasn’t so high, and he was feeling comfortable and loved.

“Wanna get out of here?” Matt smiled, squeezing your hand.

“Lead the way, handsome.”

“Good. Let’s blow this popsicle stand.”

You snorted with laughter as Frank ran a hand down his face.

“That was the lamest thing you’ve ever said, Red. I’m embarrassed for you.”

“I’ll make it up to you later.” Matt smirked.

“You promise?” Frank dared, arching an eyebrow.

“Trust me, Frankie. I promise.”

Tag List:

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soullessjack · 5 months ago

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something i was thinking about at work is jacks insecurity about being a burden to the Winchesters + Cas and how much that fits into the autistic lens of his character. obviously it starts with the fact that Sam and Dean were essentially forced into taking care of him at first because of the circumstances surrounding. Literally everything. but it goes beyond that all the way to jack just being what he is and that being inherently dangerous.

for one thing, the bunker (Jack’s only beloved home ever)

initially, the only reason sam and dean agreed to take Jack back to the bunker at all was to safeguard the public from his then-uncontrolled powers, and in last holiday mrs butters also suggests that they’re only keeping him there so he can’t destroy anyone else like he did mary (which jack doesn’t even fight against so.. maybe he’s fine with it being that way?)

then when you come to jacks powers themselves:

they are fundamentally [part of] what makes him different. they’re part of what makes jack dangerous. he can’t have public meltdowns or show extreme anger (or even any frustration, really) without there being consequences — the consequences of someone else getting hurt-or-worse by him, and him being perceived more negatively & fearfully each time it happens. those consequences are just added to the burden jack feels he brings to his family, which breeds guilt and frustration in jack for how he feels he’s affecting them and disappointing their expectations.

this in turn is why jack is so abrasive whenever the guys try to comfort or reassure him. it’s rejection sensitive dysphoria with a little more C4 to it, basically. and speaking from my own experiences, when you’re constantly in a state of low self image or rejection sensitivity, it creates a cycle of eggshell walking and people pleasing—putting all of your focus and energy into managing the feelings of others because you assume the slightest slip-up will make them upset or disappointed or even hate you.

you react to the idea of being rejected before it even happens, and even if it doesn’t happen, because at the core of it all you already perceive yourself in a rejective way.

and that’s exactly what happened between jack and mary after he tortured Nick.

after he’s done, jack turns to mary, ‘flushed with pride’ and grinning about what he did. it was cathartic and sickeningly enjoyable to do. but when he sees the horror on her face as she just says “what did you do?” his pride ‘curdles to shame.’ he’s already sensing rejection for what he’s done, and tries to justify it to mary, and somewhat console her; Nick was a killer who deserved it, and Sam and Dean would’ve been grateful for his death. if Mary thinks something is wrong with him for what he did then she’s the one who’s wrong, actually.

mary (honestly god bless her for still being sympathetic & patient with jack after that) just gently tries to tell him: “something’s wrong. it’s not your fault. you just need help and we’ll help you because you’re family and we love you,” but all jack hears is “something is wrong with you and it scares me. YOU scare me. I’m going to tell the others that something is wrong with you and they’ll be scared of you, too.” **

I don’t think i need to explain in-depth how jack loves his family a very normal and healthy amount, but suffice it to say that he’s established to have a deep fear of, and inability/unwillingness to accept, losing them. he can’t think about it because he hates thinking about it. he’d do anything for them (like self sacrifice or slowly burning a man alive) and to be with them again (like necromancy and unleashing biblical plagues upon nonbelievers).

so when jack perceives that the Winchesters would reject/hate/fear him because of what he did to nick—because there’s something wrong with him—he starts spiraling right there, and he can’t accept that Mary still loves him and wants to help him; he doesn’t even think he can be helped. he can’t deal with any of the rejections he’s perceiving and just wants to be left alone…..

I was going to try and reroute this post back to the whole burden thing, but it’s 3am and I’m losing my train of thought. TLDR i just think it’s very autistic for jacks nature to be narratively framed as both a burden and a threat and also something that just wants to be loved for what it is even though it knows it’s difficult ……. yeagj

**additionally i think he does the same when Rowena refuses to help but I’m getting too sleepy to write that in

Goodnight everypony (<__>)

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rosemariad · 3 months ago

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SUPERNATURAL SEASON 15 - final season - part 1 - i finally made it to the bitter end

Jack’s dead :/ and it does seem like the hunts (at least from the earlier seasons) 😓😱 have been undone as we see some familiar ghosts and some new ones running around trying to kill the helpless townspeople nearby. Sam & Dean try to do some damage control after a new demon swoops in to bail them out of the overrun graveyard. Sam manages to convince the local sheriff about getting everyone evacuated into a nearby high school that will conveniently be out of range for a spell Belphegor proposes to contain the bloodthirsty ghosts.

Meanwhile Sam’s starting to feel the consequences of his attempted God assassination (only you Sam — fitting considering what He wanted you to become) as a wound appears on his shoulder that’s probably not gonna heal. Cas certainly can’t do anything about.

Side note - I guess Jack ain’t getting a funeral huh 😒

While Dean mothers his baby bro at the end of the premiere episode, he momentarily laments how futile his life feels while Sam tries to keep the hope alive that they’ll find some way out of the mother of all shitstorms they’re in right now as for one of the final arcs of the show the brothers take on God Himself in rebellion for the lives He made them live? 🤷🏽‍♀️

Cas finds some time with Dean later in 15x02 after Dean made it clear that he’s still super steamed about Castiel dropping the ball where Jack & Mary are concerned. But he’s not just mad about last season.

Dean’s pissed about the whole show (as he should be considering how his story ends) cuz it’s clear to Dean that their lives were never their own, as God had been pulling the strings the whole time, trapping the Winchesters in a maze to more or less see what Sam and Dean would do with the roles bestowed upon them. And where they are now, the position God has put them in, it all seems so…pointless. Dean thought he was fighting the good fight, but probably feels no different than a puppet. As he put it, he’s a hamster in a wheel and he’s been running this whole time— going absolutely nowhere. So Dean does what he does best and projects his feelings onto the person he’s talking to that can conveniently relate to what Dean is going through himself and make it seem like it’s just them - this time it just happens to be Cas.

But Cas tries to get through to Dean by pointing out 1 very super important thing.

Which I think is important cuz sure Chuck wanted Sam & dean to be these rough & tough boys who kick ass, fuck chicks and drink tons of liquor, but Cas was never part of the overall plan. God probably kept bringing him back from the dead just so that the Winchesters had a useful ally (which may be why Cas has at times never felt like he belonged with Dean [and/or Sam] and felt his friendship with the brothers was contingent on his utility) but Cas wasn’t supposed to have the profound bond he does with Dean. So even though these 2 are on the outs (forgive him, Dean you stubborn dumbass), their relationship is still a rebellion, an aberration, this unplanned, unforeseen thing that God can’t control (or doesn’t bother to as He doesn’t see it as much of a threat, after all the deal Cas made with the Empty still stands 🤬)

Kevin’s back! I should be happy but apparently he’s been condemned - of course he is. Let’s make him suffer as much as possible😡. No one got done dirtier than this kid. Not Adam, not Charlie, not the Harvelles. Adam had Michael. The Harvelles got each other. Charlie (I hope) found peace. But Kevin died alone, he died young and he never got peace. NEVER.

Are these like super ghosts or something because Rowena just sat back and let them threaten her?

And ghosts can consume each other? Kevin almost became part of…jack the ripper? 🤦🏾‍♀️

God went to see Amara, who’s been chillaxing in Reno with a personal masseuse and is surprised to see her bro. When did they part ways?

Sam apparently did do some damage to God even though the aim was to kill Him. When God touches His wound, Sam feels that. Amara ditches her brother when she realizes the true reason of his visit. She makes it clear she’s done playing by His rules.

Man, she is so dead.

Amara mentioned she was trapped…is God stuck in this one universe cuz of the flesh wound? Oooooooo.

Meanwhile, with some teamwork Rowena & Dean defeat the ghost we’ve been following in these first 2 episodes BUT cuz of what God has unleashed there’s plenty more where they came from. They keep coming.

So this ghost-apocalypse is the last major end of days crap? Little early in the season so I'm sure there will be other shenanigans. But definitely On theme for supernatural. Ghost hunting was their bread and butter once upon a time.

Rowena tells the guys that they’re screwed as it’s only a matter of time before the warding breaks down and millions/billions of ghosts get their tons of flesh from all the unlucky humans lying in wait to be massacred.

Dean’s willing to fight with his 1 shotgun and finite supply of bullets 🤣🤣🤣🤣 like boy sit down.

He calls Chuck a fanboy, like uh Dean that fanboy is the master & creator of the universe. He made you! If anyone gets the last word, it’s Him.

On a positive note, where there’s billions of souls in Hell, there’s trillions in Heaven. So in this universe more people go to Heaven than Hell. That’s nice ☺️

Anyway, dean puts Cas on grunt work - that motherfucker 🤬. He doesn’t even ask, he just orders Cas to go with Belphegor and retrieve the horn/staff/whatever from hell they need, and he knows Cas will go because he has to know right? That Cas is entirely devoted to him (cuz Cas is in lurv-) just cuz you love him Cas doesn’t mean you let dean push you around. Stand up for yourself!

Cas does the Dean thing and projects HIS feelings when speaking to the demon, saying that Sam & Dean are just using Belphegor and they don’t actually like him 😭🥺😓

I’m loving the Cas moments in this episode, he kills some random demon, then has to sing to open a box 🤣 we should’ve seen that whole part 🤣 too bad a new demon baddie is interfering just as Cas gets the box open.

Belphegor reveals his plot 😒, he aims to do what Cas did at the end of season 6 but with Hell’s souls instead of Purgatory. No Leviathans this time I hope.

Lol Rowena & Sam are holding hands lemme stop 🤣

Cas WTF are you waiting for move it! Don’t get trapped in hell!

He stays just long enough to hand Belphegor his own ass, all in Jack’s corpse and the body is smote a 2nd time 😭

Chuck really hates Cas doesn’t he? Just keeps punishing this poor angel man - payback for how many times he’s broken the rules.

Rowena comes up with plan B, by ripping out her resurrection doohickey and declares that she must sacrifice herself to take down all the ghosts running around, throwing herself into hell and trapping the souls with her where they belong. She says she’s not doing this to save the world, only because she knows that Sam is the one who was meant to kill her. I guess she’s tired of waiting for her own demise.

Rowena, we hardly knew ye…dies to become queen of Hell like her son before her 🤣 well things sorta worked out for her didn’t they? Too bad her son is lost & forgotten to time. And her grandson is in…Heaven? 🤷🏽‍♀️

I think she died the most noble death on the show. She took her fate into her own hands and sacrificed herself for the greater good and…it WASN’T in vain. What she did, actually worked.

Why you gotta take shit out on sexy baby Cas? You know he feels bad about what happened. And then you're astonished to see him walk away. I feel like that pissed Dean off more. How much tongue lashing is the angel supposed to take dumbass? You can only talk shit to him so much before he decides to walk away like duh.

I don’t think Dean doesn’t care though. He wouldn’t be so upset if he didn’t care. If he truly didn’t care, he’d just straight kill Cas with an angel blade. I think Dean regretted what he said when he said it but was too proud to take it back. Every time I see Cas walk away I hear will you leave me now by Chicago.

Sam is dreaming about becoming the evil Chuck envisioned and killing his brother. We got a flash of that in 15x02 no?

Ugh veggie bacon. I’m sorry its just…ugh. I can’t eat any fake meat. Does things to my throat…anyway.

Dean calls himself the meat man 🤣 ofc he does. He should listen to Sam though, meat man means…other things 😈

Becky’s alive, and finally found that special someone. They have kids together?! But they look too old to be hers (she was single less than 8 years ago?) maybe she’s a stepmom. But I guess it’s a father-children trip so Becky’s left alone and chuck visits her. While she’s still a die hard SPN fan, she’s channeled that energy into making merch and selling it on Etsy. I think in the real world she might get sued but hey yay for her.

Becky still thinks Chuck is just a prophet 😅 I'm glad she regrets what she did to Sam in 7x08. and she’s kept up with her fan-fiction (hopefully she stopped the Wincest smut - #brothersnotlovers)

While the brothers are off solving a monster of the week case, with a bit of a twist (one of the high school kids is a vamp and his parents were trying to help him get away with murder and food by way of his classmates), Chuck tries to get Becky back on the bandwagon like she used to be — I'm glad Becky stood up for herself though. But she also inspires Chuck to start writing again and even though his rough draft left much to be desired (subtle, as much could be said about how the show has been lol, I'm pretty sure folks have said the same things Becky was saying in one form or another), his second draft horrifies Becky

Makes you wonder what she read? Anything to do with vampires and some rebar??? 🤨

Too bad she and her whole family die though. I say die cuz there’s no way we’re ever gonna see them again.

It just doesn’t pay to be a fan huh…

It’s adorable that think Sam & Dean think they’re ��free’, that Chuck is gone. Do they really not understand? God is God. He’s not done until He says He’s done. it’s been made clear He’s not done til the brothers kill each other. So on another case, they start to see that (why didn’t you ask about Cas, Sam? Hm?) in the form of 2 brothers - spoiler alert, they’re werewolves. When the story ends in inevitable murder-suicide, the plot twist emerges as the young blonde is revealed to be Lilith incarnate. She’s returned (thanks to Chuck) as a…messenger? She came for the new fancy gun God made for the Winchesters last season. When she fucks them up, Dean convinces her to run off with him in a bullshit lie/surrender tactic to get Lilith away from Sam. When the brothers try to escape, Lilith stops them, correctly assumes the gun is in the glovebox of the Impala & proceeds to destroy the gun right in front of the guys.

Back in the bunker (where’s Cas gone? Sam tried to reach him yet again) the brothers ruminate over how extra shitty their situation is. That gun wasn’t gonna help you.

It would’ve been cool if at this point the brothers realize they can take the fight to God in a new way. Not rebellion specifically and certainly not violence (they have no weapon to kill Him with). God made the Winchesters in his image, as rooting, tooting badass hunters who drink, fight & fuck their way across the continental US of A. So, stop doing that. Stop the drinking (and the eating of bad junk food it’s not good for you and it’s starting to show Dean you’re basically 40 now), stop the meaningless fighting and as for the fucking lol…maybe Sam finds someone to settle down with and Dean dares to explore his sexuality…with a certain angel …who’s totally in love with — wishful thinking though. Right?

So while Sam tries to track God, (HA!) and Lilith, Dean’s hunkered down in his room & eating his feelings 😔 the poor unfortunate soul is just beaten down from all the misfortune since its been made clear there’s no fucking hope.

CAS is back! Yay! And he’s gone…fishing? If only he took Dean with him but that whole situation is fucked…just like Dean’s life 🤣😭 he stumbles his way into a case while renting a place in the town he’s holed up in, and ends up having to call Dean when the sheriff demands to talk to Castiel’s FBI supervisor. Oof. That was rough, but Dean only mentions that Sam was trying to reach out and to check his messages. And he warned cas about Chuck.

How convenient that Rowena wrote down all the magic she’d done. And of course Rowena was working on a spell that could be applied to Eileen instead of motherfucking Kevin, who’s been dead for way fucking longer 🤬🤬🤬

While Eileen & Sam get reacquainted Dean runs off to Texas on a lead for a new case, and he just seems so depressed. It could just be me & the doom and gloom of the final season and all but the smiles don’t match the eyes you know? And Dean bullshits with the best of them. He runs into an old pal who suckers him into some singing but all the reminiscing on old times can’t make the plot twist hurt less. The reason Lee quit hunting is he found a money making monster - all it requires is continuous human sacrifice. So Dean kills the monster and then he kills his old bestie after Lee says his monologue about how pointless the fight is.

While Dean has his Texas adventure Cas returns (with no mention of his latest fallout with Dean - does Sam even know about their spat???) To work on Sam’s wound as he thinks it can help lead them to Chuck. All Cas manages to do is make Sam worse 🤦🏾‍♀️ He has to reach out to former MoL contact Sergei who comes to the bunker after Cas makes a super direct threat on his life. Pretty sure the angel was motivated not to further enrage Dean (if Dean were to discover Cas endangered his precious Sammy’s life) but Sergei makes even worse & tries to bargain for a key to Death’s library? Huh. Wonder if that’ll come in play later…🙄

Cas claps back tho as he expected Sergei to scheme and had Alt-Bobby follow Sergei’s relative (and here I thought he was bullshitting about being with his niece when he took Castiel’s call) so Sergei realizes he’s beat and puts Sam back the way the Moose was. But Sergei’s trick was useful for Sam in 1 regard as the younger Winchester got some insight into Chuck’s recent happenings.

Dean rushes back to his baby bro for an awkward run in with Cas who asserts Sam’s ok (now). I laugh when Sam tells the others they can beat God. Like, He’s omnipresent, He’s probably listening to you right now…do they not realize that?

Meanwhile the big G.O.D. Went to some casino to rig a slot machine to win every single time in the midst of countless corpses, sparing only 1 woman to serve him cocktails while he plays. So…what was the purpose of all this, to show how far God has fallen? Dude, just like have Him decimate a country or something. Sink some islands. Like real end of days shit! Weak…pfft.

Dean brings forth the demon tablet (honestly they fucked up destroying the angel tablet, that one would’ve made more sense) and they make some weak argument that because God made these tablets it was for the intent in case the demons and angels (and Leviathan or are we not gonna bring them up, they were the first ones we got a tablet on) went out of control — and bullshit! Lilith is basically God’s goon at this point as we see her and Michael have a quick chat in some diner where Adam is FINALLY, FINALLY out of the godforsaken Cage. My. Lord. It literally took the boy a decade to be free (sort of, he’s still stuck with Michael but doesn’t seem to hate it so much). Kid’s got a great attitude after the last 10 (human) years he’s had to live through.

The winchesters bring Donatello back to translate the tablet they have and he finds some notes BUT God intercedes, speaking through the prophet like a puppet, proving my exact point - Chuck is constantly watching these dudes whenever the fuck he wants. He just doesn’t take them seriously. It’s like they’re taking the most powerful entity in existence and reducing him to a general Big Bad. Like don’t have God just threaten. Make Him do shit! Shit that makes you jump and scream and go 😱

Anyway - ugh I love how Cas & Dean are still on the outs but when Dean had to bleed for a spell Cas is willing to heal him 🥺 and Dean lets him 🥺

Rowena can see the tension, picks it up right away and merely asserts that Dean & Cas have to fix it, makes sure Sam’s outta earshot too, since she figures Sam is out of the loop (and she figured right!)

Since it’s clear to the guys that Michael got out of the cage (FINALLY!) we get to see Adam eat a burger (he hasn’t lost his love for them I see😂😂 and the good vibe is ruined when Lilith approaches the archangel and he smites her out of existence (thank goodness) then makes the awed humans at the diner forget what they saw. Cas lures Michael into an angel trap (the holy fire circle) and the Winchesters give mike the 411 but Michael turns it around on them and makes the brothers face Adam.

This kid seriously has the best attitude ever! Like if he wanted to kill them, who would blame him? I sure wouldn’t. But he certainly doesn’t forgive them (so he says). But Michael won’t hear how bad God has become. It’s not until Cas shows him clips from the past couple of years that Michael to accept the reality of the situation.

Not Cas saying Luci was right 🤣

So Michael hands over a spell that may seal God away in a cage and pops open a door to purgatory so Team Destiel can acquire the final ingredient. Yay! But God lured Eileen (and Sam who she brought with him, probably like Chuck wanted) into a trap and takes them back to the casino (why a casino though, honestly?)

Chuck reveals that Eileen is back because of Him as Sam did exactly as God ordained. As if that was a surprise - He ain’t the master & creator of the universe for nothing. He’s about to torture Sam But Eileen tries to sneak call Dean so big bro can know what’s up but Chuck (breaks?) tosses the phone away, ending the call. Dean’s about to run over to Sam like the mama bird he is but Cas stops him.

Yes, speak up for yourself Cas – tell Dean what it is! I'm loving the tension/drama though 😏

But Chuck does reveal that he can’t see Sam because it was Sam who shot him? He mentioned Sam specifically, so he can only watch Dean? Or is it that wherever Sam is he can’t observe??? Then what was that power play with Donatello about?! (Make it make sense writers)

Sam calls out Chuck for being a BITCH - actually Eileen does and for her trouble Chuck makes her a torture puppet and has her gouge Sam while Chuck gets to watch. So petty.

Chuck then says that there is a chance Team Free Will can defeat Him - so long as Dean & Cas don’t fuck up — they’re screwed. And chuck starts to show sam glimpses of the supposed future.

Hasn’t sam been getting more visions of fratricide throughout this season? Per Chuck, they’re moments from other universes where Sam & Dean succumbed to their fates and fratricidal tendencies.

Sam & Dean become vampires (AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA), Jody & Bobby kill Sam, Dean drains Jody - that suuuuuuucks (hehe, get it?)

No that seriously sucked.

Not Cas taking on the mark to seal away God! He’d be helping to fulfill the future Sam saw, no!

Oh thank God, Sam, by dropping the ball (orb) you avoided the very grim future for Cas.

About that FINAL Destiel scene: https://www.tumblr.com/rosemariad/761296693532803072/the-bitter-end-spn-15x18-despair-about-that

About the SERIES FINALE EPISODE ‘CARRY ON’ 15x20 https://www.tumblr.com/rosemariad/761299089485889536/supernatural-season-15-the-bitter-end-series

#supernatural #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #deancas #destiel #jack kline #supernatural season 15 #brothersnotlovers #spn final season #bobby singer #jody mills #kaia nieves

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sasha199 · 3 months ago

Text

Rolan/ Gale drama part 17

Read all of me on A03

Mayhem and Madness

Rating: E

Summary: Sasha and Marlie are out fighting in the darkness and everyone at Last Light misses them. One Tiefling in particular...

Pairings: Rolan & Fem Human Tav

Mastrubation and Naughty thoughts NSFW

Y’all…this game hits different when your Tav is a stand in for yourself.

My sister and I are playing a multiplayer as ourselves, as sisters. I (Sasha) am romancing both Gale and Rolan. Sister (Marlie) is pulling both Astarion and Shadowheart.

There is no escape from this, the tragedy that is our lives. It's simply one morose event after another. Even the taste of wine has lost it’s appeal. I grimace as I take a sip, mourning the reality of this truth. It’s a strange thought, but this is definitely the place for those. They’ve only been gone for about a day, but time might as well be irrelevant with the shadows blocking out the sun and sky. I glance up at the tumultuous clouds above us. I know exactly what I’ll see. Nothing has changed, nothing ever does.

“Hand me that tool there will you, Rolan.” Cal’s voice is muffled from under the cart. I sigh and look down at the tools scattered before me.

“Which tool, be specific.”

“The one with the flat head thingy.” Cal reaches out from under the cart, motioning with a red hand covered in some sort of black grease. I slap the tool down into his grimy palm.

“Nope,” comes Cal’s voice a moment later, his horned head pops out from under the cart. “That one, there.” He points to a larger flat headed tool a bit further away.

Grumbling the incantation, I conjure a Mage Hand to snatch the incorrect tool out of his palm and give him the proper one.

“Thank you!” All business, Cal disappears back beneath the cart.

I take another sip from my tankard and grimace again. With a curse I dump the remaining dregs onto the ground.

“Hey there,” a deep voice calls out, “Just because you can’t stomach the stuff is no reason to waste good wine.” A member of the Flaming Fist, a dwarf, approaches. His face is framed by a scraggly excuse for a beard but his eyes are sharp, darting about the yard as if looking for an escape. He wipes his hands on an already soiled rag, “How’s the cart coming, boy?”

“Nearly there.” Comes Cal’s voice again. He crawls out from beneath it, covered in dark oil and earth. “Looks like we’ll be spared having to replace that rear axle, but I can’t say the same for the braces. Both the left and the right will need replacement. Unless Dammon can rig something for you.”

The dwarf sighs, his disgusting beard barley flutters. “Do you know how much time we have before we’re departing this place? Will I have time to craft new ones?”

“Well,” Cal glances at me, “I know Marlie’s group is working towards… that is they should be back soon.”

“’Soon’,” the dwarf grumbles, “that could mean anything. If they even come back at all. We’ve lost better folks than them to this wretched darkness.”

“There are no better folks,” Cal insists, his voice sounding almost reverent, “neither of us would be here without them.”

I look into my empty tankard, regretting the drink I shared with the dirt.

“Is that so?” the dwarf sounds genuinely shocked, “Well, life is full of surprises. Never thought I’d see the day dainty little lasses saved lads, but here we are.”

I lower the tankard, “Those ‘lasses’ have more talent than the whole of your Fist combined.”

The dwarf squares off with me, thick hands on hips, he looks quite amused. “Well, I’m sure they’re ‘talented’ in some areas, boy. Not surprised, with the way women act these days. Had the chance to sample those ‘talents’ first hand have you?”

I feel my claws digging into my own palm, but before I can say anything, Cal is between us, his broad back blocking the dwarf from view. “You’d do well to speak respectfully in the presence of their friends.” I’ve never heard him use a tone like that, “Or it will be more that just cart parts that you’ll need replaced.”

The shorter man laughs aloud, right in Cal’s face. “And what will you do, eh? A scrawny foul blooded boy. The day you teach an old dwarf like me a lesson, is the day those…”

“Gentlemen, is there a problem here?” A woman’s voice, strong and serene, speaks from behind us. I turn to see High Harper Jaheira surveying the scene. Two other Harpers are with her, an elf and a halfling.

The Fist’s attitude immediately changes as he steps back from Cal, he bows humbly to Jaheira with a properly submissive tone but before he can make excuses she dismisses him, curtly. After he walks away with orders to see Dammon about his cart repairs, she turns back to Cal. “You were given an assignment. And I expected you to see it though.”

“That Fist was speaking poorly of -” I interject, but Jaheira only nods, interrupting me with a raised hand.

“I am aware. And I commend your brother for his convictions. But there is a time and place to take a stand. That will come after they return, meanwhile I expect the two of you to do your part to keep things running smoothly here.”

“We are not Harpers,” I snap, “We don’t take orders from you.”

She looks at me, levelly. It’s hard not to take a step back. “I agreed to shelter you, at Sasha’s insistence. I would have done it even had she not begged. But while you are here, you will not be idle. We must stand together until they prevail. It is not a question of if, but when.”

I swallow hard. More venomous words die on the tip of my tongue. I manage to nod, slightly, but it seems to be enough for her.

“Thank you for updating our inventory, Rolan,” the elf on her right chimes in. She briefly consults a log sheet, “However, the quartermaster does have a few additional questions, if you would be kind enough to check in.”

“Very well.” I glance again at Cal, he gives a small shake of his head. He’ll be fine.

The rest of the so called “day” is filled with similar tedious tasks. Quartermaster Talli is kind, a tad absent minded as I assist her with the organization and calculations of supplies. A child could do it, but I don’t tell her that. It’s because of her that the group at Last Light has survived thus far. We will need her to survive however much longer we stay. I notice the number of healing potions don’t match the log, and we suddenly have a large number of books in inventory, strange books, most weathered and dog eared. There’s one that has actual spider webbing on it, and another that is half covered in...well it could only be dried blood.

I pick up a dark green book set at the top of one of the stacks, a scrap of paper promptly falls out. I snatch it before it flutters to the ground. The comforting smell of paper and ink wafts from between the water-stained pages...and another scent. It’s barely there but... I would recognize it anywhere. I breathe deeply, cherishing the soft floral aroma. It reminds me of honeysuckle on a summer day. A pair of dark green eyes, wet with tears, swim before me...

“Oh you found it!” Tali exclaims bringing me back to the present.

“Found what? A book? There must be at least thirty stacked here. Where did they all come from?”

“Those young ladies,” Tali says, “The darker one with the bushy hair brought these over on their last trip through. Cleared me out of most of my healing potions so we’ll have to be careful until I can brew more. Said she marked that one for you, specifically, said you’d need it.”

“Need it?” My throat feels suddenly quite tight. I quickly open to the title page, the shabby cover and spine are too worn to read. A Traveler’s Guide to Baldur’s Gate, Halfway to Everywhere but Always Home. Home. The word strikes something in me, what I cannot say. I blink as a memory of laughter surfaces, the warm rich laughter of a dead woman. Cal and Lia laugh with her. I shut the book.

“Have I done enough, Tali?”

She looks a bit concerned but acquiesces, “Of course, Rolan. Thank you for your help. Enjoy your book.”

I nod curtly and head back to the inn. The smell of stew hangs thick in the air, most are gathering now for the evening meal. I glimpse Cal and Lia seated at a table with the other tieflings, but I head strait to our room on the second floor. I secure the door with a chair, light a candle, and sit down at the rickety desk. I steady myself with a few deep breaths and flex my fingers to stop their shaking.

I pull the note out and unfold it on the desk. Definitely honeysuckle or some yellow flower that blooms in the summer. I repress the urge to hold the note to my face and drown in that scent, content to just breath it in for a moment. Her writing is loopy and slanted, as if she’d turned the paper sideways to write. Is she left-handed? I’m not sure.

The note starts cordial enough:

“Dear Rolan,” I feel myself grin as I read, “I hope you enjoy the book, I know you and your family will make excellent use of it as you start your new life in Baldur’s Gate. Some of the information is a bit dated so allow me to correct a few things that have changed in the years since it’s publication. The author claims that the Stormshore Street Dock is the place to go for fresh seafood and rare wares that come off the trading vessels.

This is absolutely untrue, for the most unique foreign items one MUST go directly to the Fisher’s Warf, near the city center. There’s also a lively street food scene here with all kinds of seafood fried up and served on sticks. I think the quaint tea house nearby known as Jopalin’s will be to your taste, the owner’s name is Coraline and she’s darling. Lia will like it a lot too. I recommend the savory scones, you won’t be disappointed. When this book was written I’m sure Jopalin’s was still a seedy ale house for sailors. Thank goodness things change, it's the one things I can count on.

On a more personal note I hope you know how heartbroken I am that my group and I will probably not be with you when you first lay eyes upon my precious Gate. But please know that while we are apart you carry the best of me with you. I have absolute faith that you will become everything you spoke of when we first met in the Grove. Everything and more. Heaven help those who doubt you Rolan, for I’ve never met anyone who lives with such ferocity and vindication. You inspire me, and gods know I could use some inspiration these days.

I won’t forget you, and I hope you will remember me fondly. I’m not sure we’ll meet again, but if we do, it’ll be in beautiful Baldur’s Gate. With love, Sasha.”

I stare at the letter a while, heart thumping in my chest. I raise it to my face and inhale the sweet scent before folding it back up. I move over to my bedroll and tuck it in under the corner before I go downstairs to dinner.

When the inn is quiet, and real darkness seems to have rolled in at last, Lia, Cal and I retire to our corner in the second floor room. I wait until I can hear the gentle snores of Cal and the soft muttering of Lia before I begin. I always picture her eyes first. They’re so expressive, so close to being on the verge of tears. Dark green with flecks of gold and amber. Who gave her those eyes? Was it her mother or father? They’re different from her sister’s.

They crinkle with happiness at seeing me, perhaps we’re in the city, on a busy cobblestone street. She’ll have her hair down, or braided, dark curls swirling in the breeze that blows off the river. That hair, how I’d wrap my claws around those curls, bury my face in it... She would be alone, of course, and when I approach her I’ll know just what to say to make her laugh. Her laugh would be loud, like everything else about her. She isn’t afraid to take up space, to have eyes upon her. And my eyes would be upon her, drinking in the vision of her face and figure.

I feel my cock stirring as I turn my face to the note next to my pillow and breath in the flowery fragrance. I slip from my bedroll. Pick my way across the room to the closet, the door creaks gently as I close it behind me, but no one seems to stir.

I slip my hands down my body as I envision her. Is it a memory, a dream..? That moment in the Weave...The lines have all blurred together over time. I do remember the kisses, those were real. How sweet she tasted, our tongues dancing, the way her fingers felt when she touched my left horn. I reach over to the shelves and blindly grab a linen to stuff in my mouth. One of my hands traces the infernal ridges on my chest as the other continues to stroke, gaining speed as the images come faster. Her soft breasts beneath my hands, the smell of her desire...for me. How could she desire such a thing? My behavior towards her had been contemptible at best...outright hostile at worst.

And she had saved me. I can still see her running up out of the darkness. Brows furrowed in determination, hair streaming behind her as she took a knee and aimed her bow with deadly precision. The relief that had flooded me quickly replaced with shame, I had endangered her with my antics. That her whole team had left Last Light and risked themselves just for me...

I groan around the linens and give my head a shake. Those thoughts are no good now, and I focus back on the sweeter memories, the feel of her mouth against mine, the soft sounds of pleasure she made. I’d make her do more than whimper, I’d make her writhe, groan, cry out in the throes of the deepest passion.

I'll have to be careful with her the first time, humans are so soft, delicate even. Perhaps I use my tail to stroke her, push it inside her, feel her wet walls flutter around me... I use my mouth too, devour her. I shudder at just the thought of slipping my tongue between her wet folds. Would she let me knot her? Fill her? I have to tell her about it, educate her on tiefling biology. She’ll be understanding, she'll be excited to take in all of me. So tight, so full...

I envision those eyes glazed with pleasure, her lips parted and panting. I bite down on the linen, digging in my fangs as I feel myself pulsing, throbbing. The ridges on my cock are chaffing my hand but I increase the speed. Her body is perfect, mesmerizing. I run my tongue over her breasts, her body glistens with sweat, chest heaving, beautiful cunt dripping. I watch her as she comes, I want to look into those eyes, kiss her open mouth.

I make her come again...and again, thrusting deep inside of her. Pounding until I feel the wettest depths of her. I fuck her until she cries out my name for all of the Gate to hear, until she begs the gods for mercy. I oblige her afterwards, stroke her, hold her hands, love her.

I swallow a grunt and quickly wrap the linen around myself. Thick wet ropes spurt from my cock and I growl as they cover my hand and trousers as well as the linen. It takes a moment for my breathing to come back under control. I put my head on my arm and lean against the wall until my heart rate slows, running my tongue around my dry mouth. I breathe deeply.

I peek out of the closet, the room is still dark and quiet. I listen again for Cal’s snoring. With the soiled linens in my hand, I make my way back to my bedroll. I nuzzle the note one last time before I roll over and curl into my blankets, praying to whoever might be listening for a dreamless sleep. Or if I must dream, let it be of her.

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