#like airplane ears on a cat

[anintellectualblonde]

Whatever. *makes your llamas experience uncanny valley*

[russell-crowe]

house and the cat in s05e18: "here kitty"

[this-is-chaos-magick]

Stephen: "Wanda your children aren't real"

Her Honest Reaction:

[stiffyck]

[blueggrass]

[gigginox]

cats doing airplane ears is so funny. girl why you so aerodynamic

[cruesuffix]

For some reason I've been thinking about how much Mick really smoked, and like when he actually started..

Like it must've been pretty young right? I'm just imagining kitty!Mick and Sharon going over to Mick's parents house for dinner and Mick is like weirdly irritable/fidgety cause he can't smoke infront of his parents/doesn't wanna get scolded. Maybe Sharon is petting him to try and calm him down, giving him a distraction from the cravings. Perchance he also starts aggressively coughing, then again I've never actually seen him cough...but we do see him get fidgety!

oomfie believe it or not i sometimes think about this to! like, especially when im watching an old concert and i suddenly see this man with a cigarette in his mouth like… omg my mans was a chain smoker frfr!! he’s so funny cause… you can’t wait an hour-two hours to have a smoke break?? i don’t know if we’ll ever know how much he smoked on the daily (if i had to guess maybe one or two packs a day??)

i also think he was probably pretty young when he started smoking… maybe late teens to early twenties?? even so, maybe his family didn’t even know he was a smoker, so he has even more reason to hide it from them and not smoke around them (because if he did, we all know they’d tell him to stop). too bad the nicotine withdrawals are heavy duty. he’s got the airplane ears locked in the entire time, and no matter how much sharon tries to pet him and calm him down, he can’t stop fidgeting. he’d literally have to talk himself out of bringing his pack of cigarettes with him. on the drive to his parents house, he still can’t keep still and sharon is trying to tell him to quit smoking. mick is still very tense and he’s giving her very short and terse answers. (he’s the king of “i can quit anytime i want to!”)

even when they’re at his parents house, he’s still very fidgety and he’s trying to be polite but literally every single thing is annoying him for some reason. his leg can’t stop bouncing and he can’t stop playing with his hands. maybe his mom notices and asks him what’s wrong and now he has to play it off like he’s just a bit spacey and that he’s fine. still, they can see his airplane ears and his tail flicking around impatiently like he’s waiting for something (to go home and smoke a nice little cigarette). whether they address it or not is another story, right now mick just has to get through that dinner without any other issues. sharons just discreetly stroking the back of his head and rubbing his arm to comfort and distract him, and then he just starts coughing. you know the type, the very stereotypical smokers cough. it goes on for a while, and maybe he tries getting up from the table to go nearly choke somewhere else, but luckily it stops and he kinda has to recover while everyone’s looking at him like “what kinda flu do you have?” he plays it off like he just has a bad cough and they continue their dinner.

of course by the end of the day he’d be racing back home to retrieve his glorious pack of cigarettes while trying to forget the day he’d just had.

the poor cat going through nicotine withdrawals… how easy it would be to make him go into airplane ear mode cause of how fidgety and on edge he’d be. i have noticed how fidgety he’d get sometimes in interviews… wonder if that was him thinking about getting a smoke break in lmaooo. also im sure ive heard him cough like…once. he didn’t seem to cough much though… so that’s a smoking symptom he seemed to bypass. still, the man was definitely a chainsmoker so… there’s that! these are still relatively normal things to ponder about oomfie!! (well, at least by my standards, maybe some ppl will look at us like we’re criminally insane but… who cares!! <333)

[ultramantr1gger]

goodnight

[shootinwebs]

songs that make alastor's deer ears bend back from taking psychic damage:

baby shark

that one bizcochito song

yellow submarine

"fuck the pain away" by peaches (one of angel's favorite songs)

that one song about being an icon idk

running in the 90s

that one siiick song by acid wolfpack or whatever (coyote kisses)

most songs by angelspit

ravegirl and the pikachu song

music that surprisingly doesn't bother him (as long as it's not played very loud) :

the crab rave song

a lot of metal

a fair amount of dubstep

skinny puppy (it's a band)

nine inch nails

"sugar walls" by sheena easton

80s madonna

[theboardwalkbody]

Does everyone hate me and I hate everything or do I just need to go to sleep?

[golftimex3]

Mrrreow ?

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

He's so feral cat coded I love it sm

Tav: I want to hear those three little words.

Astarion: I love you.

Tav: That's sweet. Try again.

Astarion: *pouts and crosses arms* Fine. I will behave.

*Astarion did not behave. Later that day, he went on a goblin killing spree and got in a fight with an old lady.*

[charliemwrites]

Hybrid AU with Ragdoll!Reader and Siberian-mix!Konig

Reader is a rescued cat hybrid that Laswell's sister in law has been taking care of for the last 3 months. When she meets this little ragdoll kitty, so bright and friendly and curious, she immediately thinks of the 141. Hybrids have a lot uses in the government. Sometimes combative, sometimes therapeutic. The 141 could use a companion animal, given the close call Soap recently had and the general trauma the whole squad has.

With the kitty's permission and cooperation, they assess her as a possible therapy placement. She tests so well and so high that Laswell (again, with consent) immediately starts paperwork to place her with the 141 before even bringing it up to Price.

He's a bit skeptical at first. Even without being a combat hybrid, their jobs are high stress, very dangerous, and not very stable. But Laswell convinces him to at least meet Ragdoll.

They do introductions at the sister-in-law's house, where the kitty will be most comfortable. Ragdoll takes one sniff of him and starts purring like a little engine. He's visibly surprised, and Laswell can barely hold back her grin as the kitty climbs into his lap. They spend the rest of the afternoon discussing arrangements while his new hybrid naps because obviously he can't say no now.

Price becomes her primary handler. They move her to his barrack and give her a week to settle in, but she's not a skittish thing by any means. Wants to follow him everywhere, curls up in his bed, meows sadly at the door when he leaves her alone. It becomes clear very quickly that the usual introduction manuals are too slow for her.

Kitty meets Kyle next. Again, instant purrs. She presses her cheek into his palms, then wriggles her way closer to brush up against his cheek. Lets out a little "mrrp!" when he stutters out a pleasantly surprised, "hello there." She nibbles at the brim of his hat and grins when he gently redirects her, chirping at this fun new friend.

Two for two, Price and Kyle decide to introduce her to Simon and Johnny. They let her explore the common room first, get comfortable, and then call the other two in. Kitty watches from behind Price as Simon and Johnny enter.

Johnny is a dog hybrid with Simon as his primary handler. Price has faith that his sergeant will behave well with the new kitty, but he's not sure of what her reaction will be. Johnny's obviously, visibly excited, tail wagging, but Simon gets him to sit and wait while she makes the first move.

It takes absolutely no time at all for her to pad out from behind Price and approach. Simon goes first, offering a hand. But she barely even sniffs him before cuddling up to him, pawing curiously at his mask. He lets her, clicking his tongue when she dislodges it a bit, but then he gently nudges her towards Johnny.

His ears are perked forwards, tail still swishing. Kitty's ears are twitching, eyes big and curious. But her tail is up and curved curiously, not even a little fluffed. She gets in real close to his face, sniffs, then bumps her forehead against his chin. Which is when he loses patience and licks a big stripe up her cheek. She mews indignantly, ears going airplane mode, but thankfully doesn't swat at him.

It literally couldn't go better. She's a perfect fit.

Over the next few months she settles in with them happily, an absolute dream of a hybrid. Not very verbal, at least through human speech, but perfectly communicative and incredibly friendly.

She chirps whenever one of the 141 enters a room, has a different tone for each of them. Purrs if one of them so much as looks at her, all slow blinks and little smiles. Chitters when she sees them running outside through the windows.

Even grooming is relatively easy. She lets them brush out her floofy tail without much fuss, only trying to retreat if they catch a tangle. Readily gives up her hands to trim her claws. Even opens her mouth for them to brush off her fangs after raw meals.

She curls up with Simon on bad days, warm and purring, breathing little puffs of air against his collarbone. Lounges with Kyle after hard missions, nuzzling against him while he pets her soft ears. She spends hours upon hours in Price's office, curled up on his lap while he does paperwork or talks over the phone, kneading biscuits into his stomach.

Her friendship with Johnny is maybe the most surprising. They play wrestle just about every night, rolling around on the rough carpets in the common room and nipping at each others ears. She'll pounce on him, little teeth flashing, but almost always get bodied by his larger stature. The others will let them play until one of them - usually Johnny - gets too excited and makes the other yelp. At that point, Price or Simon will usually scoop one of the hybrids up and tsk at them for getting rough.

She's the 141's precious kitty, sweet and friendly and outgoing. The whole base knows her, though she's never far from one of her boys. And they know what it means if Ragdoll doesn't like someone.

It's rare, which is why it raises neon red flags. The first time is a new recruit that reaches to pet her without introducing himself first. She twists around on him, but usually even that would be recoverable. Except when he keeps trying to touch her, she gets a whiff of him and hisses, scrambling away.

The guy doesn't last long.

It happens again a few weeks later with a nurse meant to be giving her checkup. She gets low to the table, tail poofing up, and growls low in her throat. When the nurse rolls her eyes and tells Price to just hold his hybrid still so they can get things over with, he knows instantly that his little ragdoll was right to react that way.

With that in mind, it's no surprise that no one trusts Philip Graves when he visits their base and she takes an instant dislike to him. He introduces himself correctly, but she still hard reverses away from him, nose scrunched up. Ears back, tail fluffing up, she slips behind Price and glares from around his arm.

Problem is, Graves is used to dog hybrids. He's great with them. Kitties... not so much, even with a manual. Ends his week at the base with a couple of proper bite marks and an itchy scratch on his hand.

Given her reaction, Simon and Johnny aren't too shocked when he betrays them in Las Almas.

When a team from KorTac is scheduled for a joint assignment, the 141 is bracing for a similar reaction. Especially because they have their own cat hybrid - some big mixed breed.

Kyle even suggests keeping Ragdoll inside for initial introductions on the tarmac, but they all know that's not actually viable. Their kitty wouldn't talk to them for the rest of the day if they left her out like that.

So Price double checks that her little bell-collar is on and brings her out to meet the KorTac team.

Their cat hybrid is even bigger than expected - no wonder he's a combat placement despite being a domestic breed. He keeps his face hidden behind a big black hood with cutouts for his ears, fluffy tail slightly tangled-looking.

Price hasn't even finished introductions with the KorTac team when she makes a rolling little chur noise, bright and curious. The bigger hybrid zeros in on her instantly, ears flicking. She pads out from behind the captain and slips away before he can catch her. Any calls for her to come back are fully ignored.

She trots right up to the Austrian and mrrps again, pausing mid-step, waiting for a response. The other hybrid doesn't respond - at least he doesn't seem to.

"Sorry, kitten, but he doesn't really do the cat noises," Declan tries to tell her. But he's also ignored, and no sooner has he spoken than she's getting into the other cat's space, continuously making little "brr" noises.

And then to everyone's shock, he's bending down to greet her in return, nuzzling her cheek and forehead through the hood. She starts to purr, pressing up close, tail swishing lazily. A noise erupts from him, deep and rough, rattling in his chest. Johnny jumps and snatches at her shirt, dragging her back to the safety of their team.

She mewls sadly, arms extended to reach for him.

"He's growling, Doll," Johnny corrects, arms curling around her middle. For the first time ever she starts to wriggle. "He's too big for you to mess with."

"I... wasn't growling," the Austrian pipes up. "I apologizes if I caused alarm."

Johnny shoots him an incredulous look.

"Then what was that?" Kyle asks, confused.

"I don't... often purr."

Price takes one look at their still-wiggly kitty and the Austrian leaning towards her, as if wanting to follow, and pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Shit."

[azu1as]

i adore all those aus where shen qingqiu ends up bringing a baby back into the sect and i want that for yue qingyuan.

maybe he ends up stumbling on one of airplane's weird flora and fauna that gives him a plant baby with features that match the victim's true love. in yqy's case, shen jiu, of course.

He hurries back to the sect, keeping close tabs on the baby and refusing to let anyone see the child other than mu qingfang just in case, his beautiful, tiny, she's so small in his arms, daughter ends up being recognized as xiao jiu's especially with her adorable pucker that reminds him of a younger xiao jiu's when he eats something particularly bitter and her brown-green eyes that yue qingyuan quietly hopes turns greener as she gets older.

quite obviously, no one else would recognize these features on such a cute baby and attribute it to the less cute (although yqy would beg to differ) qing jing peak lord.

rumors fly around about yqy's lovechild. the ones who saw him come back from the mission only recall seeing a child in his arms as he quickly flew back to his residence before locking himself in for nearly a week.

when shen qingqiu hears of the rumors, he scoffs. he punishes the disciples who dared utter those baseless accusations towards their sect leader.

it isn't until the next month's peak lord meeting that they're finally introduced to yue qingyuan's daughter.

she looks just like him, shen jiu thinks when he catches a close glimpse.

who was the mother? the next thought follows, filling him with a strong wave of vitriol and an odd sense of betrayal.

"maaaa..." the baby gurgles. she was propped on yue qingyuan's desk, his hands supporting her body weight. the baby giggles as it wiggles around before reaching out towards...shen jiu?

shen jiu clenches the fan in his hand as he uncomfortably watches the baby grunt in an effort to reach him, garbling babyspeak at yue qingyuan as she tried to pull away from his hold towards him instead.

"ma!" the baby yells out, eyes turning glossy in the same way yue qingyuan's often does. the baby stops her attempts at reaching him, and shen jiu almost thanks the heavens that the baby has stopped acting foolishly before she tilts her head up and ear-piercingly wails,

"MAMAAAAAA!"

Qi Qingqi grimances and tells him, "Just take the baby already, Shen Qingqiu!"

Shen Qingqiu didn't like being told what to do, but he disliked the annoying baby's crying more. He takes the baby away from Yue Qingyuan's hands ("Ah! Support her head, Shen-shixiong.") and holds her out in front of himself like an unruly cat.

The baby's cries thanfully die down, but she stretches out her hands as if she wanted to be held towards his chest. A glance towards the other peak lords, who were watching the both of them warily, made him realize that it would be less of a pain to simply do as the baby wanted and have it over with.

"You are as terrible as your father." Shen Qingqiu tells the baby.

He ignores the noises the other peak lords made at his declaration, his eyes caught in the way the baby tilts her head, her entire body almost following suit, at him and giggles.

"Don't laugh, you hellion." he tells off the child finally resting her weight on his chest. It's strangely soothing.

Shen Qingqiu settles back into his seat and raises an eyebrow at the staring peak lords. "Well? Are we going to finish this meeting or are all of you content with wasting an hour staring at this one like some sort of spectacle?"

The baby, finally quiet and comfortable on Shen Qingqiu, falls asleep midway through the meeting. It's a surprise when Shen Qingqiu also finds his eyes almost drooping at one point.

Shen Qingqiu doesn't want to read into his hesitation when Yue Qingyuan finally comes over to take the baby from him. He tucks his hands away into his robes, ignoring the odd emptiness he feels.

[sunderwight]

Moshang AU where Airplane transmigrates into a demon NPC from one of the fanservice clans he created, rather than into Shang Qinghua.

So basically, there was a point in time where a lot of PIDW chapters were just Luo Binghe running around propelled by political plots and rebellions from the demon kingdoms, and most of that actually just ended up being Luo Binghe collecting wives with cute animal ears and tails and various abilities that Airplane used all of once and then completely forgot about. They covered the usual bases of the sexy cat girls, sexy fox girls, sexy bunny girls, sexy bird girls with wings, etc, before moving into more, erm, niche animal hybrid demon territory.

Which is all a roundabout way of explaining Cute Hamster Boy Shang Qinghua in his faithful-to-canon clan of Hamster Demons, whose primary skills include cute squeaking noises and digging abilities.

In the process of making his braindead written-in-a-panic-at-3-am "world building" on this front actually function in a real version of the setting, there has got to be a way for the otherwise-unremarkable fanservice demon tribes to actually survive the incredibly hostile environment which Airplane otherwise described, though. Like yeah sure when you're writing a book you can just say in one breath that the demon realms are incredibly brutal and cutthroat, and then in the next that this tribe of bunny girls with no visible skills at self-defense has existed here for thousands of years, but if you actually tried to set that up in some kind of a simulation the bunny girls wouldn't last one year, let alone one thousand.

In that case of Airplane's hamster tribe, their digging skills are so supernaturally prodigious that they are able to construct massive underground fortifications in otherwise hostile terrain. But that still doesn't solve all of their problems, because they still need to acquire food, and for that they mostly do have to go up to the surface. Some of their weakness is mitigated by sheer numbers -- they have a lot of kids to offset the high mortality rate. However, to further increase the survival rates, the hamster demons also try and make contracts with some of the local liege lords or ruling clans whenever they expand into a new territory. In exchange for protection, they send some of their extraneous family members out as servants, to either cement alliances through marriage (that high fertility is helpful and was indeed the crux of Wife #whatever's acquisition in canon) or to work as diggers or even high-level architects.

As the like, twelfth son of the Hamster Demon chieftain, this is Airplane's fate. On the one hand he's highly positioned enough to get an education, and his plot knowledge helps a lot. On the other hand, he's not high enough in the hierarchy to be kept around, so it's either go work for some other clan or else risk his neck doing missions on the hostile and deadly surface. Neither seems great, but Airplane would rather try his luck as a sycophant than a warrior.

Luckily (or unluckily, depending on his mood when he thinks about it) when Airplane reaches sixteen years of age, it's around the same time that the Hamster clan's tunnels have expanded towards the Northern Desert. Airplane ends up being part of the "hiii~ pleasedon'tkillus let's be friends~" tribute to Mobei Jun's father.

Mobei Jun's father tosses him to Mobei Jun, so Airplane dutifully latches onto him in order to avoid being eaten by any of the other retainers. Airplane has been educated in various subterranean building skills and is under the impression that he's been given to MBJ in order to build him his own palace or something?

Everyone else assumes that the Hamster demon is a concubine.

Mobei Jun also thinks that's what he's been given, but he's too busy bristling in teenage offense at being given a concubine by his father to actually consider taking Airplane to bed. So when Airplane starts doing other things for him, he just sort of bemusedly lets it happen.

Gradually it becomes apparent that Airplane himself isn't interested in being a concubine. No. Clearly, this Hamster is gunning for future empress of the Northern Desert! How else would one explain all the lengths he's going to not only to win Mobei Jun's favor, but to secure his position and ensure his future rule? The system also wants Airplane to ensure the Abyss plot arc happens in the future, too, which means Airplane helps Mobei Jun win and instigate conflicts against the righteous cultivation sects too.

Obviously, Airplane wants power. Mobei Jun knows that if he gets an heir off of Airplane that will be that, the wily minx will use any children to secure his position, and MBJ is not convinced he could control himself well enough to prevent that sort of eventually. Airplane is fiendishly attractive, and he clearly knows it, and Mobei Jun is not sure if he wants to accept what increasingly seems to be the inevitable. He won't be a ladder for someone else's ambitions! But... as long as Airplane remains loyal to him, he will consider it. Even if Airplane never harbors any true affection for him, and simply considers him a means to an end. If, by the time he ascends the Hamster has not betrayed him or tried to elevate himself by flipping over this uncle's side, or seduced any of his other relatives or any of the highly-placed lords all salivating to steal MBJ's would-be empress, then Mobei Jun will grant his wish and make him the second most powerful demon in the North.

Airplane, meanwhile, just wants a snack and a nap. Maybe if he builds a secure enough fortress and amasses enough of an intelligence network and hoards a few advantages for himself, and figures out how to stop pissing off MBJ, he'll survive long enough to retire. Somehow.

[tiredgriffin]

hey if you have a pet or pets you need to reblog this rn and tell me in the tags what their names are. bonus points for including what kind of animal.