#like actually I’m questioning my own sanity
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Shit that I’ve written in my Granada Holmes journal while half asleep:
“I’M SORRY MR. BRETT, WHAT WAS THAT FACE?”
“Bro, can’t a woman like tea?”
“ *shocked monkey noise* “
“Sherlock Holmes lounging like an anime girl”
“Holmes stop being jealous of a rock.”
“No one wants to hear your life story.”
“Doggy to the rescue!”
“Watson, stop writing fanfiction about your roommate.”
“Sherlock Holmes, you whiny little bitch.”
“Holmes is a dramatic lil bitch, as he should be.”
“Grass Sherlock” (I still don’t remember what this means)
“I think stalkers are less scary when they wear top hats.”
“PLEASE NO MORE NAKED PEOPLE I HAD ENOUGH WITH THE BBC SHOW”
“Holmes be taking off his gloves like he’s about to use corruption.”
“Intense chase boat”
And now presenting: Me Wanting To Murder Sherlock Holmes (Lovingly)
“Stop being a sarcastic prick, Holmes!”
“STOP BEING A LITTLE PRICK OH MY GOD”
“BE NICE TO WATSON YOU SWINE”
“Holmes, take your sass, and put it in your pocket.”
“WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THE SASS?”
“YOU BETTER BE NICE TO WATSON YOU ASS”
“HOLMES YOU BITCH THERE WERE SO MANY OBNOXIOUS THINGS YOU JUST DID.”
“HOLMES I AM GOING TO STRANGLE YOU”
“SHERLOCK HOLMES FOR GOD’S SAKE IF I STRANGLE YOU THERE WILL BE NO ONE TO INVESTIGATE YOUR MURDER”
“WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO MRS HUDSON???? HOLMES IF YOU DON’T SAY JK RIGHT NOW…”
“SHERLOCK HOLMES I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL JUMP THROUGH THAT SCREEN AND BEAT YOUR ASS”
#sherlock holmes#dr watson#john watson#granada sherlock#granada sherlock holmes#granada holmes#granada watson#dr john h watson#dr john watson#john h watson#sherlock holmes is a drama queen#something is seriously wrong with me#i think I used to do this as a kid too#with ninjago#I haven’t even scratched the surface of what’s actually written in my journal#like actually I’m questioning my own sanity
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I had a really great time going out to dinner with my mom and nana tonight at a nice restaurant but nana believes in conspiracy theories and my mom and I have to keep debunking the bs sources she pulls out in a joking way to keep her from getting too defensive about how we don’t agree and I’m so tired. God fucking help me.
And then they’re like. Both loudly and condescendingly agreed about the whole “men and women can’t be friends” thing and that men and women have completely different brains/ in general most men are waiting to fuck you instead of genuinely caring about you as a person (and they did that FUCKING CONDESCENDING exaggerated laugh w/ eachother over it. I know most men have misogyny and treat women badly. And that they talk about us differently behind our backs. No fucking shit. But it’s not everyone, and believing so stringently that it’s impossible to have a true genuine friendship without either wanting to fuck eachother annoys and hurts me. How can we ever move forward to a less misogynistic world if we ourselves refuse to build real friendships with the opposite sex regardless of gender.) and frankly that kicked the Gender Issues bruise in my heart and I just Was Not Having It at the end of the night
#still a great dinner and I’m almost cooled off from how annoyed I was and I was very fucking patient about it#but GOD DAMNNNNN IIIITTTTTT AAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHH#my patience was unusually thin tonight because they both kept bulldozing over any attempt to talk I made#and they’re both LOUD#because my nana won’t STOP TALKING TO LET SOMEONE ELSE TALK#and she yells because she can’t fucking hear but refuses to acknowledge it and when someone yells it makes me aggressive#and she INSISTS that we’re BRAINWASHED because we DISAGREE WITH HER#this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to using my tumblr like a diary I’m that fucking close to my limit#I still have to wrap the presents and pack#but I really really need to decompress#and I fucking hate that they’re both like. staunch believers in gene essentialist bullshit to cope with the shitty men in their lives#because like. that perspective that men and women are totally different animals just.#always brings up the memories of every debunked sexist claim about women and men I’ve worked so hard to un-internalize for my own sanity#and self confidence#I’m a cos woman I don’t even have the added pain of questions/transition but it’s still excruciating when that hornets nest is kicked#because it makes me think like. if they’re right and men and women have completely different brains (not just some differences)#does that make every nasty cruel misogynist claim about women- and thus me as a person- true?#are all my male friends really just. not actually my friends then#it’s just our biology motivating us to keep our options open#might just kill myself if we truly are nothing but a set a of steps towards fucking (which we aren’t btw. if we were we’d be more like#cicadas#or those moths with no mouth.#and we sure as hell wouldn’t live so long beyond our reproductive years. we are built for survival#not just reproduction)
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impressing you!
itoshi rin attempts to tell you he likes you in questionable ways
itoshi rin x reader : fluff, crack, use of brain rot terms, dti mentioned, super bad ending i’m so sorry idk anymore school got me, not proofread + likes and reblogs are appreciated <3
growing up with itoshi rin with all his personality quirks, you were pretty sure you could expect anything and everything from him - whether that be him showing up at your house at midnight without any warnings, or him wearing your hello kitty pajamas after school for ‘fun’, or even eating frozen cheese straight out of the fridge for breakfast. but nothing could prepare you for what the hell he just asked you.
“what.” one chance for him to take back, or more so one chance for you to regain back your sanity from whatever you just swore to god he asked.
“.. i asked if you’d like to play dress to impress together.. you know because youre always playing it during class.” what the hell.
maybe the world was ending, and you look outside only to now be even more dismayed that the sun is in fact shining, the sky is perfectly blue, and there was no cloud in sight. then maybe this was all a dream after spending the previous night playing games, you pinch yourself and to your horror, you do in fact feel the pain as you nip at your own hand, almost yelping to the oblivious rin sitting beside you. or maybe your eyesight is failing you and you’re seriously deluding yourself that its rin simply after being apart from him for months, you think, removing your glasses and wiping it and nope - that was in fact rin, still wearing a blank face that youre far too used to.
“do you even have a roblox account..” you were 100% sure that whatever horror games you’ve seen him play does not involve roblox and he’s probably more likely to be a discord mod than a roblox player - credited to you friending him on steam and seeing the horror of games he has bought on that app
“.. ill make one now.” and you think maybe blue lock has actually rotted rin’s mind or maybe his friends there has corrupted the rin you once knew.
and instead of spending your math class, you know paying attention and doing the work assigned, there you were at the back row playing dress to impress with itoshi rin attempting his best but clearly not dressing to impress anyone to say the least.
and maybe this is a miracle and an awakening because you were so sure since a little kid that itoshi rin, your best friend in this entire world, do not have any weakness - whether that be in sports (for obvious reasons), in arts (getting an A even though he ‘winged it’), in games (carried you in shooting games and horror games) that maybe you’ve finally discovered his achilles heels that is apparently fashion.. and handling getting humbled by kids on roblox.
“why the hell is this kid calling my outfit skibidi toilet” if anything, in your honest reaction, you’d call me something worst than that looking at the total mess of a outfit he was wearing because why the hell is he wearing two hairs at once that do not merge at all. in fact, you’d be polite to even call whatever he’s just made an outfit in the first place because it looks like he genuinely spun a wheel and picked pieces at random.
even funnier is that you can practically see rin’s ear letting out steam - clearly upset that he’s apparently not winning the top place. if anything, you think its funnier because he doesnt even rage like this playing his competitive shooting game, or when he doesnt get a good grade for his exams, or even when he drops his ice cream when you were little, only when he plays soccer and apparently dress to impress. now maybe with his ego, or whatever he said learnt at blue lock, would be able to let him score a goal (win top place with a good outfit)
however, to his dismay, and to your expectation, he in fact does not win top places, not even top 3, by the end of the hour long math lesson.
and to him, he practically just lost the first tip that bachira told him and as he quotes “if you like someone you’ve got to like have shared interest right?” and clearly and unfortunately he just cannot get into dress to impress in the same way that you just aren’t really interested in football which he completely gets. but now he’s in doubt about his own situation and by that he means the love test percentage thing he was convinced to take by again bachihara - failing at a whooping 15% that he was meant to be your soulmate. but if there’s something he’s good at, its perseverance and he will not give up just because multiple kids in the game called him skibidi toilet
and right now he thinks hes absolutely down bad and he is only proving the allegations that he really has a crush on you when hes spending time after football practice to play dress to impress. even worse, hes looking up online guides on “cheatsheets” to get outfits, entering millions of codes to unlock hidden items, spending the entire night playing this game.
and of course, its at 4:30am when you log in only to find one person playing dress to impress and youre pretty sure this is the equivalant to a sleep paralysis demon as you blink all the sleep away in your eyes to confirm the words in front of you: itoshi rin is playing dress to impress in the middle of the night. more specifically, itoshi rin who preaches about taking care of ones body by sleeping early, eating all three meals, doing yoga every single day is ruining his sleep scheuldue for a roblox game. and as all sleep deprived people do, you send him a message to confirm that its in fact him and not a hacker.
chat
you: r u playing dti or have u not logged out of dti since class 😭😭
rin: playing
you: R U ACTLLY INTO DRESS TO IMPRESS… who r u impressing 🙏🏻🙏🏻
rin: you
and you feel your heart stop - and not because of caffeine, or another realisation that yoive forgotten to do your work right in class or winning a lucky draw from the ice cream you share with rin. but then the realisation hits and youre now instead let down because of course sleep deprived him would say such words that unfortunately made your heart pump because of all the years you’ve known him, you know that whenever he doesnt sleep well, he always becomes a different person, spouting nonsense about everything and anything as all the logic that he’s so used to melts away from his brain. and so you without thinking close your phone and leave itoshi rin on read.
and maybe its even worse that when you wake up, you realise rin sends you the number of stars he’s collected over his overnight grind that’s somehow more than the amount you’ve gathered throughout the weeks of playing dress to impress and even funnier because he’s clearly texting the wrong person.
chat
rin: (1 attachement)
rin: is this a good rank bachiara
rin: should i check if mine n y/n’s soulmate on that love website increased
you: shld be 100%
rin: from 15%?
you: i’m more accurate than it btw r u still on dti
rin: ?
rin: oh ignore
you: no lets play tgt actlly vote me 5* i need to have more stars than u
and you can’t wait to go to math class to play dress to impress with rin at the back of the class (spoiler alert: he won all the rounds somehow) now dating (he gives you five stars)
#bllk x reader#blue lock x reader#itoshi rin x reader#rin itoshi x reader#rin x reader#rin.<3#itoshi rin fluff#bllk fluff#i want to play dress to impress so bad but exams r preventing me from doing so#need someone to boost me by falsely voting me five stars every round hiiii
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Headcanons of Tim and Damian’s Love/Hate/But-Mostly-Begrudging-Love Relationship (They’re My Babies)
They will take EVERY opportunity to be a little bitch to one another
Tim: “Don’t get too close to me. You probably have rabies.” Damian: *actually bites him*
Damian tripped Tim once, which started an all out prank war that lasted several months. It only ended when Bruce walked into a glue trap and couldn’t reach his phone to call for help. But he couldn’t figure out who put it there so they were both grounded. (It was Tim.)
Tim teaches Damian to finish his vine references when Bruce tells them they need to “bond.” They proceed to try and speak in exclusively vine references and TikTok sounds during patrol. Bruce benches them for his own sanity.
Damian: “I’m not touching you” *gets pushed down the stairs*
Tim: “I’m not in your room” *gets hit in the face with a book*
Tim calls Damian short even tho he’s only like two inches taller for quite a bit of time (and Damian never hears the end of it after Tim’s growth spurt)
Family Game Night could go in one of two ways: they’re opponents and spend the whole night one-upping each other OR they team up and wipe the floor with everyone else’s pieces
Damian: “Just trust me.” Tim: *remembering that one time Damian tried to kill him* “Okay.”
Tim: “Don’t ask questions.” Damian: *recalling the multiple genocidal Tim variants* “Whatever.”
During one Wayne Gala, they make up this game called Freestyle Checkers where they choose guests as their “pieces” then subtly manipulate them into walking to their opponent’s side of the ballroom without talking to someone from the other team or they’re out. No one can know that they’re part of a game or their opponent wins by default.
Bruce is proud of them at first for being more sociable during galas until he realizes what’s going on and immediately loses five years from his lifespan.
Both have attempted to fake their deaths to get out of the same school project
They’re both notorious for stalking people to get information instead of just…ya know…asking like a normal person. So they’re bound to team up one day.
Like maybe it’s Bruce’s birthday soon and both are like “No, I’m getting him the better present,” but then they run into each other in the vents trying to find out what he wants and they end up trading secrets. Just brotherly things
Tim: “I need you to follow this guy for me. I think he’s our culprit.” Damian: “I would rather die than take orders from you.” Tim: “I’ll buy you that fancy oil painting kit you want.” Damian: *already changing into his Robin gear* “Where is he?”
Tim makes Damian play the dumb, helpless kid in all of their covert operations, which pisses Damian off until he gets so good at it that he uses it to his advantage and annoys the hell out of Tim when they’re paired up for public appearances
“God, he’s so annoying.” “Yeah, totally.” “What the fuck did you say about my brother?”
Damian is the only person who can get Tim to actually sleep for once. No one knows how he does it, but the strongest theory so far is blackmail
Tim “I’m ignoring Bruce’s instructions because they failed the vibe check” Drake and Damian “I can totally do this mission that requires four people on my own” Wayne teaming up behind Bruce’s back and immediately getting into deep shit but somehow making it out alive with the bad guys behind bars.
During one of said missions, they thought they were going to die and said “I love you” to one another. After they survived, they silently agreed to never mention it again.
Damian gifts Tim a new board that he designed for his birthday. It took weeks. Tim cries
#tim drake#damian wayne#batfam#dc#dc robin#red robin#robin damian#batfamily#incorrect batfamily quotes#they love each other#dc universe#damian al ghul
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hi! it’s the anon that asked for the maknae line texts hehe :) could you do fake texts with best friend skz where you flirt with them but it gets spicy ;) and no worries if you can’t!
genre: fake texts
hyung line • maknae line
masterlist
hi anon! you’re back again and i love that! 💕💕 i hope you like this. :) gold star to anyone who can tell me the movie reference. hehe
chan:
minho:
changbin:
hyunjin:
🚨reminder: this blog is 18+ only. i’ve been getting a lot of new followers (which i greatly appreciate) but if there’s no age identifier on your blog, i’m blocking you no questions asked. (for my own sanity and peace of mind.) ik some people don’t actually go to my page to read the warnings, so im going to start attaching a warning at the bottom of all my posts. thanks for understanding. 💕
#stray kids#bang chan#stray kids x reader#stray kids imagines#bang chan stray kids#bang chan x reader#stray kids bang chan#stray kids smut#stray kids fake texts#stray kids smau#skz fake texts#skz smau#changbin smau#changbin fake texts#lee know stray kids#lee know fake texts#hyunjin fake texts#hyunjins orange slice too
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★ DO I WANNA KNOW? | JB22
Scenario: in which a series of unexpected events, starting with being stuck in the same hotel room with a single bed, takes teammates yn ln and jenson button from major rivals to lovers.
Pairing: jenson button x fem!reader
A/N: no one asked for this but LAWD I LOVE JENSON BUTTON. i had to do something about it 😔 shoutout to @renarots for supplying memes and 4 am brain rot that contributed to the making of this fic and most of my other ones too
NOTE: yn and jenson drive for mercedes (i had to do this for my own sanity)
racing_news
liked by buttonnation, sebrrari, and 12,432 others
racing_news jenson button responds to questions about his relationship with teammate yn ln following this weekends rumors.
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formulawrld idec about the rumors jenson looks so fine bro
formulavettel i bet seb knows all the tea about them. sebastian please spill
webbersebberf1 🤨 surely they could have just gotten another room? they have the money for it. idk, me thinks they’re dating and trying to keep it secret
⤷ ferrarilvr LITERALLY. you genuinely cannot convince me that they aren’t dating after this
⤷ shumione you genuinely thing they’re together even with how much they clearly don’t like each other?
⤷ ferrarilvr 🤷🏻♀️ things change and honestly i feel like they’ve had feelings for each other and just didn’t want to admit it
It had been three months since the “hotel incident”. Finally, you texted him. You weren’t sure what to expect from him, but you were ultimately relieved by his response, and didn’t wast a single moment on making your way to him.
With each step you take, a small splash sounds beneath your feet. Rain patters on the ground, and you pull your jacket closed in an attempt to shield yourself from the cold gust of wind that blows through the night. Each stride is powerful and determined - the truth is, you like Jenson. What once was a deep disdain for the man has somehow formed into a blossoming adoration for him. Miscommunications and mistakes lead you down the wrong path with him, but ever since the night of the “hotel incident” — as you, Jenson, and your team call it — you haven’t been able to see him in a bad light.
“Look, i’m sorry,” Jenson says, his expression softer than it had ever been towards you. You were almost offended, thinking he was about to try and make you feel bad, but that wasn’t the case. “You’re more than welcome to go - actually, i’ll pay for your hotel room if you want to leave, but if you’re choosing to stay, i’ll give you your space.” It was unlike him, at least, the him that you knew. He seemed remorseful and genuine, like you and him were anything but rivals. It made your heart beat just a little faster in your chest, and you couldn’t deny how strangely right it felt to be in the same bed with him. Even sharing the room was almost natural.
You turned away from each other to change, but both of you were guilty of peeking over your shoulder. Your eyes lingered for longer than you’d ever admit, but the same went for him. Neither of you could muster the courage to say anything, to address the tension between you both, and despite what should have been an awkward atmosphere, you both found yourselves comfortable in each others presence, even with the weight of your forbidden thoughts.
Not much happened after that, truthfully. Things did change though. Suddenly, his presence didn’t irk you, and you could never get on his nerves. You worked together more willingly, almost volunteered, and through those minor changes, you both came to realize how wrong you’d been about the other. Sure, Jenson had his moments, but he was sweet, a genuine and polite guy. You weren’t entitled the way Jenson thought - in fact, you were humble, kind…and how could he ever not see just how beautiful you are?
He doesn’t know the answer to that, but now, knowing that you’re moments away, he finds himself anxious. In a good way. He’s excited to see you, and he laughs to himself about how ironic that is given how he used to dread seeing you. A knock on his door draws him back to reality, and he knows it’s you. Outside of the hotel room, you wait impatiently, and breathe a sigh of relief when he finally opens the door. Instanly, like an instinct, you step forward and wrap your arms around him, nuzzling into his warmth. His reaction is just as instinctive, and he wraps his arms around you, guiding you into the privacy of his room.
For the first time, you talked. Not yelled, not argued, just spoke to one another. It was a completely different experience for the two of you, one that you never thought would come of your relationship, but it came to you naturally. The warm touch of his hand holding yours, the somehow assuring and slightly intimidating way he looked at you as you spoke, the way he didn’t just listen to you, he heard you. And, you did the same for him. Though he didn’t have much to say, you listened and heard, and soon, you felt as though you’d only just met him, yet known him for years. Not the rival Jenson, but a Jenson you could get used to, one that you didn’t back away from when he leaned in.
It was a small, sealing kiss that he placed on your lips. One to really ensure that all of this was happening, that things were changing between the both of you, and you both accepted it, with a weight lifting off of your shoulders.
mercedesamgf1
liked by the.ynln, jensonbutton, and 265,672 others
mercedesamgf1 last time in Abu Dhabi…
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hereforbutton okay but are jenson and yn dating? PLEASE TELL US
formulaobsessed ARE YOUR DRIVERS DATING? YES OR NO?
⤷ mercedesamgf1 🤭
⤷ hereforbutton okay so what the fuck does that mean
formulayn we do NOT care about jenson rn where is my wife
mercamgfan maybe this time don’t prioritize the inferior driver 🙏🏻 yn deserves her wdc
hereforyn i’m so scared that this race is gonna send yn and jenson back into their rival arc
⤷ jensonbuttonlvr NO WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT. i cant handle them going back to rivals now
⤷ ynsgirlie i know. now that we have them being nice, i can’t imagine going back to what they used to be
mercedesamgf1
liked by the.ynln, jensonbutton, nicorosberg, and 346,789 others
mercedesamgf1 OUR WORLD CHAMPION ❤️ an exceptional performance from yn today, and a well deserved win. thank you for another amazing year, @/the.ynln
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the.ynln i’m gonna cry 💔 thank you guys so much.
formulayn THATS MY FUCKING WIFE IM SO PROUD OF HER
buttonynamg MY BABIES P1-P2 IN WDC IM SO PROUD RIGHT NOW
formulaobssesed who’s here after the post race interview? 🤭
⤷ markwebba I KNEW THEY WERE GONNA FALL IN LOVE
⤷ jensonsbutton bro jenson was heart eyes for her in the whole interview and the way he kissed her cheek when she started talking about their relationship 💔 he was so gentle
⤷ hereforbutton what got me was her getting emotional about the win and him hugging her like :( i was always hoping they’d start getting along but i did not expect them to become like this
🏷️: general taglist | @renarots @jsjcue @illicitverstappen @lovstappen @minkyungseokie @treehouse-mouse
#✩ . jb²² files 🏎️#formula one#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 smau#f1 drabble#f1 fanfic#f1 x you#formula one fanfiction#f1 fic#f1 x female reader#formula one social media au#formula one smau#formula one x you#formula one fluff#formula one x reader#formula one fic#formula 1#jenson button#jenson button x reader#Spotify
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Нi!
god, I read your blog literally every day, it's amazing! helps me cope with stress
anyway, i had a little idea i thought you might like. we often give Desmond godlike powers because of the isu crap. our boy is an angel, that's clear, but what about the devilish appearance? horns, seductiveness, gold accents and maybe a tail?
a creature that would make religious people scream in horror, that's what
and let him get attached to Leonardo da Vinci. my boy must be confused. like, he already thought he was going to burn in hell for his wishes, so a literal devil in his studio admiring his work? well, it couldn't get any worse!
it gets worse when Ezio finds out about Desmond and thinks that literally the devil is going to take his friend. Ezio is very against
I’m so happy to hear that. I’m glad this blog is able to help you cope with stress <3
Soooooo… shall we make Desmond’s life much more miserentertaining?
Desmond actually returned to the past while Leonardo was studying the Apple under Borgia’s lock and key.
Leonardo is smart enough to know that he wasn’t the one who summoned an actual demon.
But he has been using the Apple against his will far too long and too much that he has started to question his own sanity.
So when Desmond appeared in all his demonic glory and the guards started to scream and pray, Leonardo’s brain just short circuited and thought “the Apple can summon a demon, yeah, sounds about right.”
Desmond didn’t really have any plans other than stop these guards from trying to kill him or burn him or behead him or… uuuuhhh… chant prayers at him?
Okay.
Maybe going “God can’t save you” was a bad call if he was trying to not be known as the devil or whatever but Desmond is just going to shake that off.
So… he already killed too many people and now he’s worried that Leonardo will come to harm.
Especially since Cesare was a coward who ran away as soon as shit hit the fan, even forgetting the Apple.
So Desmond just took the Apple and Leonardo (who quickly took all of his papers and journals) and called it a day.
…
A non-lethal version of events happened after he reached the Brotherhood’s headquarters and, really, Ezio should teach his recruits to not scream in terror even if someone who looked like a demon (allegedly) walked inside their supposed secret secured base.
And Desmond has his work cut out for him because Ezio?
Oh, Ezio thinks he’s the real devil, summoned by the Apple, to seduce Leonardo to sin (Leonardo and Desmond just glances at each other without saying anything at this)
Desmond’s attempt to tell Ezio that he’s Ezio’s Desmond only served to make Ezio believe he is the devil.
Why else would he know of Desmond?
How shameless of him to try and pretend to be Desmond when he looks like a devil.
Desmond just wants to bash his head when he remembered this Ezio has not seen him in a hologram near Altaïr’s bones yet.
Hell, even if he did, who knows?
Ezio might just think that a devil was trying to copy Desmond’s appearance.
Okay then…
Time to try and make Ezio see that he means no harm and that he is Desmond.
… with Leonardo’s help, of course.
(Leonardo does not have a say on this but he doesn’t mind, Desmond was nice and he didn’t necessarily believe that he’s the devil. If he is, he hopes assisting him would, at the very least, make Desmond think of taking Leonardo’s soul instead. It won’t be bad to suffer in eternal damnation under a devil like Desmond)
#assassin's creed#ask and answer#teecup writes/has a plot#fic idea: assassin's creed#desmond miles#ezio auditore#leonardo da vinci
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I’ve been having this question for a while now and I suppose it’s not the most important but I can’t get it out of my head- is the world like earth? Were there areas/continents more impoverished say than the main area that everything is taking place in- areas that don’t have as much technology I mean, maybe not even puppets. Knowing humanity I wouldn’t put it past that there were villages and uncontacted tribes out there- before the fall I mean and all humanity got wiped out. Ig what I’m trying to get at is if the world just became a giant monoculture or if there was still different collections of people doing things they’re own way. (Sorr if this is a really weird thing to ask)
No no, you're fine. Funny enough, a while back, I was thinking about some rough drafts of literal worldbuilding for the harlequin au, and while this absolutely isn't final (it's TOO small), it does help me establish some rules for what I want this world to be.
It is a giant monoculture-esque/ethnocentric setting, yeah.
The world is NOT Earth. There are similarities yes, but it is significantly smaller than regular earth.
Some areas, lands, or archipelagos are even uninhabitable due to mostly environmental and a strangely paranormal(?) reasoning. Any attempts to expand beyond results in monumental losses whether resourcefully, financially, or just straight up casualties/no one returning ever. They don't have the necessary technology to be able to actually overcome this hurdle, so they cut their losses for now (that was the plan before everyone died that is lol).
That doesn't mean they don't try to harvest whatever resource they can that's in reach. Because they totally would.
The world would be fashioned like a giant cog; leaders say the cog symbolizes unity amongst the cities, and also marks the steady progress of everyone towards "The Future", as a cog helps keep a machine running. Very ironic, considering what state this world is in today.
Yes, I made City of Gears canon from Scarlet's story, I will not hear any objections /lh
The cities are HUMONGOUS. There are a total of 7 Megacities, all connected via giant bridges.
There are large docks for expeditions ALL over the edges of the cog. Planes are very, VERY less popular to use as mode of transport.
But you know what is popular? SKYBRIDGESSSSSSSSSSS BABYYYY
What's a skybridge? Think of "the floating train" + Skylines from Bioshock: Infinite's concepts, but it also spans THE ENTIRE WORLD.
Now, obviously you can smell that a well-hidden dystopian world like this has a lot of systemic corruption in place such as absolutist thinking, stereotyping, outdated societal "norms" and intense class oppression to name a few. I will not be delving incredibly deep into how shitty the old world was for three reasons:
For the sake of my sanity;
Out of respect because I'm severely uninformed and do not actually have the biggest brain nor all the time in the world to research; and
This old world is already gone anyways. There is no need to pick it apart piece by piece in incredible detail, because that's not the main focus of the story anyways. The main focus is how would everyone conform into their new lives, essentially a new beginning for everything?
As such, anything story-related will only be implied through the main cast. Besides, I'm clearly not the only one who's got a lot of ideas for this au, so as long as it's within the realm of possibility, I encourage people to worldbuild if they have ocs for this au, as well as if they so desire. Whether simply implied or directly referenced, go ahead. :)
P.S. some things may be added in the future.
#thanks for the ask!#tadc#tadc au#tadc harlequin au#harlequin au#the amazing digital circus#fantasy worldbuilding#worldbuilding
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The Pain of Living 3
Warnings: non/dubcon, chronic pain, blood/violence, perversion, and other dark elements. Not all kinks or triggers are tagged. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Summary: You deal with pain every day, but a new source of pain lands on your front step.
Note: I know I shouldn’t.
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.
Ibuprofen, pedialyte, gauze, and a few extras just to pad out your cupboards. It’s not quite a success considering what you’re headed back to. You drive cautiously, wondering if anyone else can see the horror sewn into your face. No one stops you, no sirens whoop, you’re left to face the strange man in your bed.
You get home and carry in the bags, pausing just inside to catch your breath. The brief trip has you ragged. You feel twice as bad as when you left. That isn’t what matters. The blood on your floor reminds you that there is much worse to deal with.
You bend and take out the large bottle of pills and a bottle of grape electrolytes. Your steps are weighed down by more than your pain. Dread hangs off of you like a wet blanket.
You knock. On your own door. The man doesn’t answer. Your heart pumps. You knock louder, keeping the bottles hugged under your arm.
Still no answer. You twist the handle and push inside. Please, let it be an awful nightmare. Don’t let him be dead.
“Ah, oh god,” you exclaim and spin away from the sight the strange man’s naked back. The vision of his ass as he bends his leg around your duvet is stamped into your mind. Ugh. “Sorry, I--”
“Fuck, I finally fell asleep,” he sneers. “Got the painkillers?” You nod at the hallway. The bed creaks and he huffs. “Well... give it.”
You turn warily. He has the blanket pulled over his lap. His torso is entire naked, a patchwork of stitches, dried blood, and hair. You near the bed and set down the tablets and the electrolytes.
“NSAIDs,” he rattles the bottle. “Anti-inflammatories help with blood clotting. It’ll keep me from bleeding out like Normandy beach.” You wince at his crude allusion. He rolls his eyes, “relax. Think I’m through the worst of it. No major arteries. But damn...” he leans back against the pillows, “I feel like a slapped ass.”
You furrow your brow. The way he talks, his arrogance, it makes it hard to feel bad for him despite his injuries. He tosses back two pills and reaches for the other bottle. He gulps eagerly and pops his wet lips.
“Mm, fuck, exactly what I need. Hey, you got a TV you can move in here? Something to watch?” He asks.
You hesitate.
“You should probably sleep--”
“Thanks, Nurse Ratchet, I’d love to fucking sleep, but I’m restless now you woke me up,” he sneers.
“Um... I have my laptop.”
“Any fucking screen that can keep me from going mad staring at the ceiling.” He insists.
You nod and back out of the room. This is odd. Absurd to the point you question your own sanity. Have you summoned a hallucination out of sheer boredom? Did you snap? Or do you really have the worst luck?
You sniff and go to find your laptop. You don’t use it for more than filing your insurance claims and to get your mailing labels for your work. He can borrow it for a bit. You don’t have any pending orders.
You return to him. He doesn’t acknowledge you as you enter. You hold out the computer.
“Here, um, it’s all yours.”
“You talk to anyone?” He asks.
“Anyone...?”
“When you went out, did you talk to anyone?”
“Not really. I used the self-checkout--”
“Did you tell anyone about me?” He interrupts.
“Erm, no, I...”
“Fuck, you are dull. That’s all I need,” he takes the laptop. “You can piss off.”
You flinch. Wow. That’s not very nice.
You reach for the laptop as he puts it on his lap, “look, if you’re going to be mean, I have better things to do with that--”
He grabs your wrist and easily twists it back. Despite his condition, he’s just as strong as his bulging muscles would suggest. You whimper as your eyes glimmer.
“Ow, let go, please,” you whimper.
He keeps you locked in for another moment before he obliges. You retract and swallow down the agony. What hurt before is now unbearable. You cradle your arm and retreat.
“Close the door, raggedy ann.”
You shut the door. As much to block him out as to appease him. How can someone you helped be so rotten?
You go to the kitchen and sit in a wooden chair at the small table. You rub your wrist and sniffle. It’s easier to be alone and in pain. You don’t like others to see you struggle. The way that man behaves, you don’t want to show any weakness.
You blow out between your lips and look at the door. You’ll need to clean up soon. The rug is garbage but getting rid of a blood-stained carpet won’t be easy. And the bleach might not do much for the floor.
You put your head down on your folded arms. You’ll deal with it eventually. Like everything else. It’s too much. Everything waits on the pain. Your whole life is centered on your aching bones and burning muscles.
You wallow in your self-pity until you have the energy to get up. When you do, you ignore the inevitable and make coffee. As it brews, there’s a holler.
“Hey, sugar stack,” the man calls, “is that coffee I smell?”
You tense, a surge of pain rippling through you. You exhale and collect your strength. You yell back, “yeah.”
“I take mine black. Thanks, baby.”
You close your eyes and grit your teeth. You’re not a mean person. You’re not cruel. You don’t hate people. In fact, you do your best to keep them happy. You don’t want to be a burden. You don’t to be a problem.
Yet this man makes your brain fiery. You’re actually annoyed. Angry even. It isn’t that he’s just rude, he presumptuous. He just assumes that everything belongs to him, and that seems to include your home.
You can guess how he ended up the way he did. He doesn’t exactly inspire kindness.
#lloyd hansen#dark lloyd hansen#dark!lloyd hansen#lloyd hansen x reader#series#drabble#the pain of living#the gray man
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Okay, so here is my Thought…
It’s already being established that the majority of worlds in the AT Multiverse are born from wishes granted by Prismo. I mean, we know there are other types of alternative universes (Like Flapjack’s universe) - but Prismo’s exposition implies they are the exceptions and not the rule. And we already know the Wish that birthed Farmworld, and we even got a Word of God about Babyworld (a Wish made by BMO) but…
Was Winterworld also born from someone’s wish?
While first watching the episode, I was wondering if that was a universe born from Ice King’s wish to, like, make Princess Bubblegum madly in love with him or something. But after all of the reveals at the end of the episode and thinking about it a bit more - I feel like this is unlikely.
I mean for once, there is the question of how the ‘One Wish Per Person' rule works with the existence of a multiverse. Because we know our Simon also tried using his Prismo Wish
(And from their interactions in Episode 4 it seems like Prismo considers Ice King and Simon to be the same person, So a Wish made by Ice King would also count as the one Wish for Simon)
So like… if Ice King made a Wish with Prismo and then got teleported into Winterworld where his wish was granted and then like… a duplicate of him keeps going in Mainworld Ooo and that one’s actually the Simon we follow… would that Simon get his own Wish from Prismo? Or would the Winter King count as the separate Simon who didn’t waste his Wish yet? Finn has already used up his own Wish but his situation is kinda unique cause he, like, came back from being Farmworld Finn. I’m not sure about the rules here but I’m feeling like it shouldn’t work, Simon used up his one Wish failing to bring Betty back so that means he probably didn’t wish up Winterworld.
I don’t feel super-confident about that, but I feel a bit more sure of this next observation; Prismo says that the Wishes he grants, whatever he wants them to or not, always have some sort of a Monkey’s Paw or ironic twist thing going on. They never go quite right for the Wisher. And the Winter King was doing extremely well until our Free Radicals came along.
I mean… maybe the fact that Pre-Curse Simon would’ve been disgusted with the Winter King’s actions counts. Or maybe the implication is that with the Candy Queen’s recent ‘escalation’ he would’ve been killed sooner or later even without the Multiverse Trio’s intervention.
But… compared to how throughly and how quickly Farmworld went badly for Finn specifically- that honestly feels like a stretch. I think that if Winterworld was born from the Wish of any character - it was most likely Marceline.
She has all the motivation to Wish for Simon to have his memories and/or sanity back - and had it for the longest time out of all of his acquaintances. And if it was her Wish - then it sure as hell has gone extremely wrong for her.
The woman that she loves has been doomed to the same torturous existence Simon has been trapped in alongside her entire kingdom. And Simon might have his sanity and identity again, but this vile man who willingly and knowingly condemned PB to a life of suffering in his stead is so much farther away from the kindly father figure Marceline remembers than Ice King the crazy old Wizard ever was.
And then he also stole Marceline's most beloved personal possessions and like… probably killed her and definitely replaced her with an icy duplicate who is forever the child he wants her to be. If this Wish is some sort of Ironic Monkey's Paw to anyone, I think Marceline makes the most sense.
(I will give an honorable mention to Betty, because she also very much has the motivation and it is kinda weird we haven’t seen her try and save Simon with a Prismo wish. But I think that while, like, dying in the Mushroom War unmourned and unremembered by the man you did all of this for is a pretty miserable fate.... I still think that Marceline’s narrative fits the idea of cruel irony a lot better)
#adventure time#atimers#fionna and cake#fionna & cake#at#at spoilers#fac#fac spoilers#f&c#f&c spoilers#adventure time fionna and cake#adventure time spoilers#fionna and cake spoilers#fionna and cake series#fionna and cake show#the winter king#winter king#marceline#marceline the vampire queen#marceline abadeer#marceline and bonnibel#simon and marcy#bubbline#the candy queen#candy queen#bonnibel bubblegum#marceline x bubblegum#princess bubblegum#adventure time marceline#ice king
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We all know Quackity, fattest ass in the cabinet, quadruple engagey, and “Are we in character? I’m in love with Wilbur” HQ
So, how about we hold a little friendly competition between the different ships in the dsmp fandom?
Aim of the game is to get your ship the most points, through creating content for that ship. Here’s the spreadsheet to track points.
Rules:
Creations may come in the form of art or writing, each of which is worth 1 point
People are allowed to submit more than one piece, actually it’s encouraged :3
The ship must be tagged
You must @ this blog
If you’re being genuinely mean you are getting blocked and anything you make will not count, Ls to all assholes
There is no sign up, just @ this blog and have fun!
Q&A
How long will this event last?
All of September
What if I want to do multiple ships in the same piece?
Be sure to tag all the ships and they’ll count as a point to each ship! (So the Karlnapity shippers don’t lose only bc of half points)
Does the ship have to be canon? Only dsmp?
Nahhhhh have fun do whatever you want. If you do Foolish x Quackity or Roier x Quackity, for example, they’d get their own rows and get a point
What about comics? Poems?
For the sake of my sanity, a comic only counts as 1 piece, even if it has 100 panels. Same for a collection of poems.
How will we know points?
I’ll have a little spreadsheet you’ll be able to see here in the pinned post
What about nsfw stuff?
it’s allowed as long as it’s tagged with community labels or #nsft, if you don’t tag it you are getting blocked
My friend really likes this Quackity ship. Can I give them this as a gift and also have it counted for a point?
Yes! But do not mix giving events together with this competition, to make it easier on me. I do not know if the event organizer of whatever your event you’re doing is comfortable with that, so best not to do it at all. You can still participate in other events, obviously, but please do not tag me to get it counted when it’s for a different event
Are sketches half points?
nope, every drawing is one full point! No matter how detailed or how simple. This keeps the competition a little more silly goofy, like I’d like it to stay. This is very much intended for fun, not a serious competition
You’re welcome to send asks to ask more questions!
#Quackity#dsmp#Qsmp#I’m not tagging all that#fandom competition#yes this is last minute I kept forgetting whoopsie
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it is very evident i wrote this in like 20 minutes. this one is pretty suggestive too and not as fluffy as my usual stuff. butttt look at this man, I CANNOT.
also this is as close to smut as i’ll get because ~no~
“I think you’re trying to kill the whole of your fan base, and me along with them.” You see the sly smirk grow on Chris’s unfairly attractive face.
He knew what he was doing. Worst part is, you can’t be mad at the kid because he did it so damn well.
“Now why would I ever wanna put the love of my life in harms way?” He was being serious yet still had an underlying tone of sarcasm.
You roll your eyes and dramatically shove your face into Chris’s pillow. “It’s not fair that people like you exist!” You yell into said pillow, though it’s mostly unintelligible from your muffled voice.
Moments ago you witnessed Chris take an annoyingly hot, without even trying, selfie. A lollipop placed on his tongue as he looked down at the camera. It was sinful how good he looked. And that fucker knew it.
“Baby, you are one of those people.” He argues back while laughing at how dramatic you’re being. He just doesn’t get it. His fans are going to go absolutely batshit crazy over that picture.
Of course you don’t even acknowledge anything he’s saying, too busy thinking about how it’s gonna be even harder for him to fight off screaming girls. “Have you ever considered getting surgery done to make yourself uglier?” The question falls from your lips and Chris just looks at you like you grew a second head. You were being dead serious.
“I think it would be very beneficial.” You state with the same serious tone as before. “For who?” Chris exclaims, his voice raising a few octaves from how confused he is.
“Well for one, every male on this planet. Like you’re kinda being selfish walking around with a face like that.” You sit up and throw your legs over his waist to straddle him, making him look up at you now. “Just think of how insecure they all must be. Knowing you’re just so effortlessly gorgeous, and they could never compare.” You sigh and gaze down at his lips, wanting to slap yourself for being so in love with a man.
“I don’t know if my ego can take much more baby. You’re making me feel really good about myself.” You offer a lovesick smile, before leaning down and planting a sweet kiss to his lips. “It’s cute that you think I actually believe you’re worried about your ego.”
He giggles at your callout before he grabs your hands and brings them up to his lips.
Another sigh falls from your lips as you continue to admire your boyfriend’s face. Your eyes dance across his features, trying, and failing, to understand how you got so fucking lucky to be able to be here with him in this lifetime.
“I should start taking more pictures with lollipops if I’m gonna get this kind of attention from you.”
“I don’t know if my sanity could take any more.”
“We both know you can take it.” As your mouth falls open from the innuendo, that same sly smirk from earlier appears back on his face. You feel a blush spread across your cheeks and your hands instinctively reach up to cover them.
“Don’t get all shy on me now baby. You’ve been looking at me like I’m the last meal on earth since I took that picture.” Chris is sitting up now, his hands softly grabbing your wrist to pull your hands away from your face. When you look at him again, he’s staring at your lips, ready to smash his own against them.
The air in the room changes drastically. The once love struck awe you both held in your eyes, replaced with a look of lust.
“You gonna kiss me or just stare Chris?” Your voice comes out light, like you were scared to break out of this trance the two of you seemed to have shifted into.
Chris’s gaze flicks up to your eyes, before trailing back down to your lips.
And finally, after what seemed like a lifetime of waiting, his hand wraps lightly around your throat and he envelopes his lips with yours, and you felt like your skin was on fire.
You never thought you would be so fucking grateful for a lollipop in your life.
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What about accidentally sitting on obey me brothers face??
Accidentally Sitting On Their Face | Yandere Obey Me!
Lucifer
“How in the Devildom did you end up like this?!”
“I don’t want to point fingers but it was-”
“Mammon? I’m going to kill him, just hold tight I’ll get up the steps to get you.”
“No! Agh I’m slipping!”
“(Y/n)!”
He just so happened to find you hanging on the railing of the mansion during their stay in the human world
But the human world has a tendency to make you slow
So it didn’t really occur to him to transform and fly up to you
All he mustered at the time was catching you himself
He might have miscalculated as you sat firmly on his face
“Ahhh Luci! I’m so sorry!”
Horrified you spring up
letting him gain his bearings as he wiped imaginary dust off his pants
“I wished we could save such activities for the bedroom but if you insist.”
He’s usually so composed when you try to tempt him
But your boldness just gets the best of him
“Where are you going, we’re not done here.”
Mammon
“Go ahead (Y/n) just grab as much as you can! I have a whole bag!”
“Okay okay just don’t squeeze too hard!”
If it weren’t for his ultimate goal of getting the mineral deposit he would have been indulging in the intimacy of holding you up
Trying to push yourself up higher you wobbled with a loss of balance
Coming crashing down on the avatar of greed
“Oh, my–Mammon are you okay? Can you breath at all.”
“Mmmm~”
He can’t
But why would he when he’s deeply focused on suffocating in your scent
He would have never had a chance otherwise
He whines when you lift up from him
Turning his head when you question the attitude change
When he gets more confident he’ll ask you to do it on purpose
“Come on, lucky charm! It’s for luck in the casino! Don’t you want to give me luck!?”
Satan
It’s all his fault
This man would sooner murder his brother with a ‘prank’ than clean his room
Even when you decide to actually come to hang out in his room
It’s a given that you slip while he’s nose-deep in this latest book
Providing the perfect distraction for a demon otherwise too focused to even think about the cleanliness of his room
“Ahh ouch! But of course, I would slip because you don’t clean…Satan?”
“...”
“Why is it so hot down…Ah, Satan!? Are you okay?”
“...Yes, I just…give me a minute…”
He’s spacing out for the rest of the week replaying the moment over and over again
It’s appalling how unprepared for this he is
Practically high on ecstasy for a week
He needs to get himself together if not for your sanity than for his own
“Y-you want me to sit on your face?”
“Yes, this is the perfect form for exposure therapy. So that hopefully next time this should happen I’ll be better able to handle it.”
He never will
Leviathan
Similar scene
It's dark he leaves a lot of things laying around
And when he’s forcing you to sit in his lap for hours at a time
When you finally get up your plummeting right back down
Providing Levi with the plush softness of your butt
Now as long as he’s not on a checkpoint who are we kidding he’d be happy even still
“Mmmmmm!”
“Aaaaaaaa!!”
“OmigoshOmigoshOmigoshOmigosh you’re on top of me! I’m in you! Aaahhh this is just like that scene from the Rurichan!!! This is my moment!”
He’s oddly hyped
He takes it as a reward for some of the instant kill missions he’s completed in your name
Rationalizing that you're too wonderful, too mighty to tell him directly
So this is your little way of thanking him
So excuse his forceful behavior when you try to get up
“L-levi you can’t keep doing this! You’ve got to let me go!”
“Nope! I’m reaping the conquest of my grinding…ha ha..in life I mean.”
Asmodeus
“Whoa you almost got it (Y/n)~! Just keep looking~!”
“Is it really far back, I can’t seem to–eh?! Asmo you’re holding the latter right?”
“Huh-uh!”
Totally orchestrates the scenario
He’s been thinking about it for a while
And cuddling just isn’t doing it for him anymore
Rather he’s looking for some new material to jerk himself off to
He’s very much still into cuddling, he’s just peeved he got caught
“Ooops~!”
“Ah!”
Landing perfectly on his face, Asmo is so pleased he actually did the math for this
He squishes his face into your crevices
Unrefutably sniffing as he holds your shocked self in place
Maybe even a lick or two or twenty
“Ah~Asmodeus! S-stop it! Let me up!”
“Ahh~! I wish I could see your face~but I’m a little busy!”
Beelzebub
“What are you going up there?”
“Dang it Beel, this is my stash! I–whoa!”
“(Y/n)!” He catches you
But with his face
True to form he doesn’t necessarily pick up on the implication
But he knows one thing
“Mmmhmhmh!”
“Beel! Don’t try to talk to me just let me-”
“But it smells good here…can I–”
“No Beel! Stop! Let go of my–Ah! Don’t use your teeth!”
He acts like a starving animal trying to get a taste
Either give him a taste or throw him a bone
“I just really like that feeling…I want to feel it again.”
Belphegor
It's known that Belphie sleeps anywhere
Not only that
He walks in his sleep
So it isn’t bizarre that he ends up sleeping where you might be sitting
“Oh my gosh, Belphie-? What?”
“Zzzzz stay–zzz”
He’s not letting go
No matter how hard you pull or try to unhook his fingers
It makes you wonder if he’s even sleeping at this point
“Oh? (Y/n) what are doing…”
“I accidentally…sat here but then you wouldn’t let me go…but now that your awake can you let me–”
“Nope.”
“What?!”
“I think I’ll turn you around but I’m not letting you go.”
#yandere obey me shall we date#yandere obey me lucifer#yandere obey me: one master to rule them all#yandere obey me x reader#yandere obey me#yandere lucifer obey me#yandere satan#yandere belphegor#yandere x reader#yandere x you#lovelyyandereaddictionpoint#yanderexrea#yanderes#yandere#yandere beelzebub#yandere beel#yandere asmodeus#yandere asmodeus x reader#yandere lucifer#yandere leviathan#yandere obey me leviathan#yandere obey me satan#yandere obey me mammon#yandere mammon#yandere mammon x reader
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skz when you’re too shy to send a spicy picture
pairing: hyung line x reader
genre: fake text, suggestive, kinda funny? (if you think i’m funny)
an: ik i said i wasn’t going to do fake texts again because it’s hard af. but i think i found an easier way? and i was inspired. chans version of this has been in my head for a few days now. had to get it out. hope you like it 💕
masterlist • maknae line
chan
minho
changbin
hyunjin
i feel like the changbin biases got cheated. everyone has 4 screenshots and he only got 2. im sorry. he’s just a needy boy.
🚨reminder: this blog is 18+ only. i’ve been getting a lot of new followers (which i greatly appreciate) but if there’s no age identifier on your blog, i’m blocking you no questions asked. (for my own sanity and peace of mind.) ik some people don’t actually go to my page to read the warnings, so im going to start attaching a warning at the bottom of all my posts. thanks for understanding. 💕
#stray kids#bang chan#stray kids x reader#bang chan stray kids#stray kids imagines#bang chan x reader#stray kids bang chan#bang chan fluff#stray kids smut#hyunjin#stray kids lee minho#stray kids minho#stray kids changbin#hyunjin stray kids#stray kids hyunjin#stray kids fake texts#changbin smut#changbin#hyunjin smut#hyunjins orange slice too#stray kids smau#skz fake texts
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·˚ ◌༘͙[nsfw alphabet] ! ˊ
this is about as steamy as I’m gonna get outside of blogging other people’s works w the most unhinged commentary imaginable so 18+ only below the cut! ♡
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
his middle name isn’t Joseph actually that’s a coverup and he’s not the King of Pop either that’s a secondary coverup bc his full name and title is Michael Aftercare Jackson, the King of Aftercare. even when he’s less experienced, taking care of you comes like you do with him breathing does to him; he’ll run you a bubble bath, light candles, form a pathway of red rote petals TO the bath, then carry you to lie you down in the hot water, and he’ll either join you or sit right beside the tub with your hand in his, his thumb caressing your knuckles. anything that’s even slightly too sore for you to reach to wash on your own, he’s doing for you with the most love in the world. you’ll have a hard time convincing this man to let you lift a finger around him in general, but after he’s rocked with you? oh. oh no. sit your pretty self down.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
as we all know, Michael is very deeply insecure, so probably won’t ever verbally admit this, but if he had to aka you denied him kisses until he answered, he’d confess he likes his eyes most, and it’s 100% because of the way you lose yourself in them.
now, getting him to admit his favourite body part of yours is entirely impossible for the polar opposite reason. someone could hold this man at gunpoint and he wouldn’t budge on this.
“Say it! Say your favourite part of her body right now, or we’ll shoot!”
“If you think I’ll objectify my girl before letting someone shoot me, you’re not only wrong, you’re stupid. Hit me with your best shot.”
this mf can and will write a love song dedicated to your pinky finger, and you want to ask him to CHOOSE?? unfathomable. literally unthinkable. if you ask him, he’ll just laugh and list every part of you, but if you insist on it, he’ll just pacing. literally doing laps around Neverland. bc he cannot answer you and now you’ve got him stressed bc on the one hand he never wants to disappoint you by not answering a question you give him but you’re an actual angel. for the love of this poor man’s sanity, do not ask him this question.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
prefers it in you and prefers the lack of mess, too. does enjoy seeing you kneeling and waiting for it, though.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
this coming from the man who tried to say his dancing wasn’t dirty? please. he’d fight tooth and nail to suggest that you sucking his fingers was a solely innocent activity. unbelievable.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
heavily era dependent, so based on that: virgin pre-otw era, and if you don’t tie him down in good time he’ll probably get curious w some high end ladies of the night, but it doesn’t take him long to realise he values an emotional connection when it comes to intimacy, so will have only had a handful of serious relationships. however, this man does learn quick.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
say it with me now: missionary! being able to look in your eyes, caress your face with his fingertips, kiss you, feel all of you against him, your legs around his waist omg the man categorically cannot and will not get enough.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
definitely can start off either super goofy or super romantic, but the longer you go for, the more romantic the moment becomes. there’ll be giggles and goofs in the midst of it all, but for the most part, he’s very sentimental about it. considers you and your body to be sacred and will worship at your altar.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
era dependent, actually. otw and thriller he’s got a lil trimmed somethin somethin, bad and dangerous he tried out shaving, then invincible he decides he can’t be bothered with the upkeep of shaving it but he keeps it trimmed and neat.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
same as G, really; intimacy is the priority.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
super shy and from an extremely religious household?? pls. otw era Michael would probably actually rather ask a girl out (and that’d take some convincing from his brothers). depending on when you meet him, you might consider actively encouraging him and he may or may not be super into the idea of you ‘teaching’ him, and then only ever being able to think of you when he does, but even that would be rare. definitely prefers you.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
bro omg. where do we start.
he is the sweetest, sweetest lover, so everything he does is purely loving. there are few things he wont try for you, but in terms of what kinks he already has/discovers he’s super into with you: breeding, spanking, choking (but not hard, mainly just holding you there), having you ride his thigh; anything that involves dominating you will have him intrigued.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
mf was the most famous man on the planet and he’d rather never speak or sing again than share you intimately, in any capacity, so the location will be private and with top security. that said, he can make any location private and secure, you just say the word.
oh, a super fancy restuarant?
“No problem, baby. Security? Clear it. Yeah, kick everybody out and pay for the inconvenience.”
oh, a public movie theatre?
“Already rented the whole place, sweet thing. Every individual viewing room, in case you couldn’t decide.”
he is ready to go at a moment’s notice.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
he is ready to go at a moment’s notice x2
literally anything you do like if you smile at him he’s both the most in love he’s ever been and bricked are you surprised. but, in particular, seeing you all dolled up, especially just for him rather than some kind of official vent will have him dropping to his knees to propose and also remind you that the M in Michael stands for munch.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
slap you. spanking is a little different bc he can understand the dominance of that and in the heat of the moment, shocking you with a spank appeals to him, he loves the sounds you make, but with the abuse he suffered, he can never bring himself to slap you, your face specifically. if he ever held your jaw slightly too hard and left a mark, he’d feel physically sick until it healed. something about seeing your face with marks just absolutely kills him inside.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
this one is a bit of a wild card but I’d put good money on Michael being a hardcore munch who is actually way more shy/hesitant to receive that kind of intimacy than give it; even in otw era, he’d happily go down on you for hours on end while he remains literally fully clothed. he might be a bit nervous to begin with, but he gets the hang of things pretty quick - your body is his most favourite instrument, and he’ll master it, you can count on that.
that said, when he’s confident enough to receive, there is something about seeing you on your knees for him that gets him every time. but, overall, he prefers anything that makes you feel good.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
ever the dancer, he can match whatever pace you or the mood calls for, but he prefers a slow, sensual and deeply emotional hour of lovemaking.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
understands their functionality and convenience - stress relief, post-show bliss, spur of the moment, etc - and enjoys them for what they are, but much prefers to take his time with you.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
will gladly try almost anything for you with very few restrictions, but won’t do anything that risks you being exposed to anyone else’s eyes; the media has been hounding him his entire life, your body is the one thing he wants to keep just for himself.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
remembering the more traditional period that Michael comes from, toys would be a little out there for him, and if you brought them up pre-Bad era he’d be like a deer in headlights who couldn’t make eye contact with you for several hours. but, when he sees what they can do upon using them on you…well, he’s no stranger to fine tuning an instrument.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
is this even a question. this man will deliberately have you side stage at his concerts just to tease you for the ENTIRE show. all those girls screaming for him? ripping his shirt mid-song? and his definitely-not-dirty dancing? PLEASE. he literally lives to tease you for his whole set, just so that he can stroll up to you when the show’s over, all sweaty and panting for breath with a shit eating grin, only to wrap his arms around your waist and act deliberately oblivious.
“Oh, hey baby! Enjoy the show?”
“You know what you did. We need to get to your dressing room, like, an hour ago.”
“An hour ago? My girl, I’d just started the show, I couldn’t possibly-“
and you cut him off by dragging him by the hand to his dressing room while he laughs.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
youtube
oh yeah. his bedroom’s a whole floor specifically for his time with you.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
gets very into degrading you when he sees and hears how much you love it, but will only say things that are equally as sweet as they are filthy.
“Do you hear yourself, sweet girl?”
“Oh my love, look at the mess you’ve made.”
“Yeah? Is that it, pretty girl? Like this?”
“Oh, you like that, don’t you? So good for me, my little love.”
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
a gentleman never tells.
gold pants.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
this is another era specific one that entirely depends on which era you meet him in bc you can assume from getting used to your company, his libido reaches new heights, but for starting in each era:
otw - categorically will not initiate intimacy for like the first year of your relationship bc he’s convinced he’ll misread your body language as wishful thinking when in actual fact you’re lady-bricked 25/8 around him bc who wouldn’t be hello
thriller - a little smoother with it, a little more open to initiating things based on trusting his own instincts, a little more willing to admit that he wants you without you having to ask first.
bad - oh he’s getting it now fr. all that leather? yup. he actually gets more shy when you initiate it in this era and that’s wholly bc he gets blindsided whenever you want him enough to bring it up in conversation.
dangerous/botdf - breeding kink in full swing we havin babies out here, he wants you literally every chance he gets and he WILL make that clear. I’m talkin pressed up behind you at the kitchen counter type beat.
invincible - this entire album should tell you everything you need to know but for those of us who enjoy it being spelt out: the things he whispers in your ear to invite you somewhere more private will leave you speechless.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
considering this man’s stamina, if you last long enough to tire him out, he’ll be sleeping pretty soon after that, but usually you tap out first and that is one of the rare moments you’ll actually see Michael smug.
“All tired out, baby? My poor love. Did I do too much?”
#michael jackson#michael jackson x reader#michael jackson imagine#fanfic#fanfiction#imagine#imagines#x reader
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In response to your AU post, haha! (I originallg dropped it as a comment because I was so tired and Can't Read! But!)
The title alone of your AU is so intriguing to me! The Narrator is so paradoxical in his humanness—a disembodied voice sentenced to be a Narrator in a video game emoting, getting angry, and feeling isolation line any *human* would? That's a different level of turmoil. Personally, I really like this AU for those reasons!
It's so interesting to think about the possibilities that could run wild with this concept and if he would fail, succeed, etc. in whatever attempt he takes.
Do you have any other plans for this AU, as a question?
HIIIIII SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO ANSWER AUGHHH
First of all, yesss I always found it so interesting whenever the narrator acknowledged his non-humanness in the game, because you go the whole time hearing him act and talk exactly like a human!! I feel like so many of the narrators flaws and inner tumoil are so human-like (his sense of identity in relation to his art, his frustration when he doesn’t have control of the situation, when he’s angry he just isn’t being listened to) that it’s easy to forget that he kinda is this nonphysical being with complete control over the world you’re in. But then you have the countdown ending which really reminds you that this dude is ultra-powerful LMAOO
I’m using all that stuff to really develop how he will act and react to certain things he eventually experiences, like eating, touch, physical pain, sleeping, etc! Its actually inaccurate to call it “how-to-be-human” au because the narrator isn’t *really* trying to be human per say, but that’s the lie he is telling Stanley😈😈😈
As for your question, I have plans of exploring a lot of the major plot beats through comics, then maybe exploring the more complicated parts of the story through fics! I just want to keep the comics I post short, just for my own sanity LMAO, so they will mostly be the lighthearted moments. Serious moments I want to give all the time they need, so they will be in fics! And as said before, the majority of the AU will be just silly hijinks like the narrator getting humbled over eating spicy food and dying over it
Tysm for the ask!!
#the stanley parable#the stanley parable ultra deluxe#the narrator#tspud#tsp#tsp narrator#asks!!#htbh au
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