#like a grumpy mom bruh | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

serxeinxx · 3 years ago

Text

ଘ੭:: week two: — ; 𝐒𝐎𝐅𝐓𝐈𝐄!

ଘ੭:: pairings: bakugou x fem!reader

ଘ੭:: summary: going back and forth, reading shojo mangas, THE bakugou katsuki happen to be caught by you in the store, purchasing it.

ଘ੭:: wc: 2.8k

ଘ੭:: warnings: cussing, bakugou being bakugou, FLUFFF!!

— Helloo! this is my second story for the event! this story was supposed to be posted on my old wp acc but now, i’m posting some contents here on tumblr AHHAHA + i hope you guys enjoy! ALSO! thank you ate @mrskenmakozume for beta reading my work although i have a lot of incorrect commas and the words are not capitalized correctly ;-; i’m deeply sorry for that :’))

— I ACCIDENTALLY POSTED THE FIRST ONE- THIS IS THE SECOND ONE

—SITTING DOWN ON THE BED, reading rom-com mangas "secretly" is a perfect entertainment for the grumpy blond ash. Turning from page to page, concentrating on the suspense, thrill, and climax of the story. Out of nowhere, he slammed the book onto the bed. Being careful with his manga and at the same time, he wanted to explode it into pieces, but he couldn't.

"FUCKING CLIFFHANGER! GO AND DIE!" yelled the blond ash. "This is fucking bullshit." He can't afford to go outside and buy the exact volume he bought since, he was aware that maybe someone will see him. And that will crush his image and pride.

He picked up the book and placed it on his secret stash of books behind his bed. He was sort of pissed off. He sighed loudly, and decided to leave his room and go to the kitchen. It was the weekend, and most of his classmates went out to go home and visit their parents, hang out, or do some other errands they had to accomplish.

This was a relief for Bakugou since he hated going back to his home. To be yelled at by his mom, he just can't stand it. Of course, he loved both of his parents, he's not the type to show it. Never. Ever.

Finally, he arrived at the first floor of the dorms where he and the entire class were living for now, just for the safety of every student since the Kamino Incident happened. It has been days since it happened, and he received a lot of anonymous text messages after the incident.

'it's your fault that all might have lost his powers!'

'I hope you rot in hell and die!’

'you really are perfect to be a villain bruh no cap.'

Those messages made him wanna puke in guilt until there was nothing left. He was still blaming himself. Even after his fight with Midoriya, he still can't get over it.

"I can't get it out of my head! It's constantly playing on loop! SO WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!"

You hummed as you went inside the dorms and to your surprise, you saw Bakugou in the kitchen. You raised an eyebrow on why he was staring at an empty glass. You sneaked up onto him and gave him a little scare.

“BOO!” He flinched a little.

“You were spacing out, what's up?” you asked. Bakugou sighed at your presence and replied, “One, shut up. And two, mind your business.” You rolled your eyes at his stubbornness. "Fine then. You're always like this to me. It's not like you'll ever talk to me anyway." you grumbled and left the kitchen and went out, leaving Bakugou alone.

You went out around the musutafu streets, looking for something to entertain. As you walked, you happened to stumble across a bookstore. You went inside and was greeted by an old woman and her cat. "Hello there dear, are you looking for something?” she asked. You shook your head in reply and answered “I really wish I could but, I don’t know what to read though.”

“Kids these days are interested in manga, right?”

“Uh yeah although, i, personally, didn't have the time to read some mangas. What's your recommendation?”

“Well, manga is quite fun to read. Adventures, slice of life, horror, and etc., it's really up to you dear.” she answered, guiding you to the aisle where the mangas were located. You scanned through the genres and the titles, from what you remembered, horimiya was the title of the manga that you heard from your classmate way back in your last year of junior high. “Uhm, excuse me-”

When you were about to ask the nice lady you met but, she disappeared from your side. You raised an eyebrow to your confusion and with a hint of curiosity. “Huh, weird.” you commented. It took you a while to find the manga that you were looking for.

‘Horimiya’

The manga that you were looking for was here, and it was the first volume. Just when you we’re about to turn around, you bumped into something or someone. “Oh my gosh I'm so, sorry-”

Your eyes widen to see bakugou in a hoodie and a mask. “bakugou?” you said with a questionable tone.

Bakugou himself is defeated. Out of all the people, you found him in the manga section, holding a rom-com or a shoujo manga, to be exact. "What are you doing here? Did you follow me or something?!" he asked. You scoffed at his question. "Me? Following you?! Don't get ahead of yourself!" you retorted.

Your smirk grew to know his situation. Of course, Bakugou saw it. That look in your eye, it’s like the predator found its prey. "Oh, my! Is that a shoujo manga? You must be an expert in this field!" you started. “If you tell anyone about this you’re dead!” he replied. You laughed at him. “Ah, don’t worry, I won't tell anyone. But! I would tease the fuck outta you softie boy.” you added. Bakugou growled at you, and had a red shade on his ears and face. "I'll be having fun teasing you the entire month I guess, or maybe even more"

"Don't tell anyone about this. I'll...do what you want." he grumbled.

"I'm sorry, what did you just say?"

"I said I'll do anything." he repeated himself. The first time ever, he's willing to do it to someone. He's the best of the best! But for some unfortunate reason, he has no choice but to do it. Of all people, why you?

"Oh really? You're not trolling me are you?"

"What do you take me for? Some other extra?" he taunted.

"Geez geez, 'm sorry." you rolled your eyes. You Placed a hand on your chin, thinking about what to ask for bakugou. "Oh! I know, let me read your other books! And help me how to get started on mangas." you proposed.

"Nope."

"Oh well i guess i should tell denki that—"

"Okay! Okay! Fine!"

You dig in the bookshelf to look at the second volume. Bakugou noticed it. "What are you looking at?" he asked. "Im.. looking for the second volume." you replied.

"Idiot, don't buy the other volume if you don't know the plot yet. You might get disappointed because of it. What are you looking for anyway?" he asked again.

"Horimiya." you replied and continued to look for the second volume.

“I have the second volume. Just buy that and let’s go.” He walked right through you. Since you couldn’t complain, you followed him. You are still curious about the old lady that talked to you here just when you stepped inside the shop. You paid for the book and waited for bakugou. “Hold this.” he handed you out the things he bought. “You have hands for a reason.” you said sheepishly. “Just do it.”

“Why? Are you scared that people might call you a softie? Oh, the great Bakugou Katsuki is a softie for rom-coms. I think there’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s just an interest at the end of the day.” you said.

When you both arrived in the dorms, you grabbed a couple of snacks from your room and brought them into bakugou’s room. His room is much cleaner than yours. As expected from him. "I have the snacks, Just get what you want.” you laid out the snacks on his table. He approached you and handed out the second volume. You we’re amazed by its condition. “Woah, this book looks so new.. like, this has never been touched..” you said in an awe while inspecting. “That’s what you called ‘handle with care’.” he replied. You playfully rolled your eyes at him. “whatever you say bakugou.” you chuckled.

“Oh my god, he did not!" you squealed while reading on Bakugou's bed. It’s been months since you caught him purchasing rom-com mangas, you and bakugou had a good friendship after that. For Bakugou's case, he was kind of enlightened to have someone to talk to about this. His reactions, guesses, and his awfully comments at every scene.

“That was a stupid move. He could’ve asked her out!” he commented. You feel tense when he goes near you just to look at the part where you are reading. To denki, kirishima, and deku, you had no problems when they’re near proximity with you, but this case is different. Could it be?

You got up from his bed and stood up, making Bakugou look at you. “Where are you going?” he asked. “I gotta go to my room, it’s late.” you replied. “It's literally 6:47, something is up. Do you… wanna talk about it?” he asked. You stopped your tracks. “it’s okay, i’m fine really… I just need to be alone, that's all.” you said and left his room. Leaving him dumbfounded. You rushed to your room, with your blushing face. But before you went to your room, you happened to see Kirishima. He was about to say hi to you. But you ignored him and went to the elevator.

You closed the door and immediately hopped on your bed and hugged your bolster pillow and screamed on it. “what the fuck y/n…. THAT WAS A DUMB REASON! AAAAAA!” you rolled on your bed like a little kid. ''He'll probably thinks that I'm being weird!”

*brrrrt!

Your phone vibrated. You were hoping that it wasn’t bakugou. You sighed to see that it was not bakugou. But your eyes widened to see kirishima’s text

Rocky

yo, y/n you kay? i saw you rushing from baku-bro’s room. Did he say something to you?

You replied back to him.

y/n

nah, i’m just feeling unwell that's all.

in an instant. Kirishima replied back.

Rocky

oh, well, take a rest then. :))

y/n

Will do! :3

"She’s lying." Bakugou commented. Kirishima looked at him. He scratched his head in confusion. “What did you do? I saw her running in the hall with her face redder than my hair." Bakugou put a hand on his chin and began to think. “I went near her” he answered. Kirishima immediately shakes him up. “What the hell shitty hair?! you got a death wish or something?!” he asked.

“MAN! YOU FLUSTERED HER!” he said. Bakugou raised his eyebrow. “Huh? What is that supposed to mean? Deku, you, half ‘n half, and dunce face also did that and she didn’t get any reaction. So why me huh?" he asked once again. Kirishima pinched his nose bridge out of his friend's naivety. “dude…. I think, she likes you.” he helplessly said.

It took a couple of seconds to register the 5 words that kirishima said. “HAH?! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK OF THAT?!” he blushed. Kirishima pointed his finger on bakugou. “Dude, you’re blushing..”

“N-NO I’M NOT!”

The next day has arrived and you avoided bakugou purposely. Just when you went inside, Bakugou was staring at you. It's as if he’s looking at your soul on the way he stares at you. ‘Oh my god, what if he knows?!’ you said in thought.

You sat down immediately on your seat away from Bakugou. You are lucky enough that Bakugou's seat was far away from you or else, you would be dead to the moment you sat down near him. As The class started, you had a hard time focusing on Mr.Aizawa's lesson. Even in training, Uraraka would poke at your cheek because you're not paying attention well. You could feel his stare again and again. “Are you sure y/n? you can tell All Might that you are not feeling well.” Uraraka suggested. “No, no, I'm fine. I just- tons of things have been going on in my mind lately, that’s why i was not focusing enough on the training. “ you replied. “if you say so.. It’s not too late to tell sensei though.” Uraraka added.

The class ended with you, drained with energy. You went ahead instead of going along with Yaoyorozu after school. Now that you are walking alone towards the dorm, you let out a long yawn. You are sleepy, too sleepy that you can't even eat at the moment. “oi.”

You stopped your tracks to see Bakugou behind you. “Why are you avoiding me? Did I do something to you?” he asked. You immediately shook your head in denial. To your luck, it was sunset and the redness of your face is not that visible. “No, you did nothing.” you answered.

“bullshit.”

He walked towards you and faced you. “You know, you're kind of a dumbass sometimes… it’s cute though.”

you’re blushing real harder after hearing those words from his mouth. “i… like you too, idiot.”

“but!-”

“Kirishima told me last night, why did you run away from my room” he explained. “You don’t need to say those and come here.."

A lip touched your lip so softly like a feather. Despite his Passive-aggressive attitude, he can pull off the most softest move. You slowly synced yours to his. You slowly lift your hand to hold his face gently while he tilts his head for a deeper kiss. This kiss lasted for a minute then you two broke the kiss, with both eyes locked on each other’s gazes with a blush on your faces.

“I saw you reading the part and you were excited about that. It's about time I did that.” he whispered. After the kiss you had, you we’re speechless. He looked at you and you laughed a little. “What’s so funny? Are you making fun of me or something?!”

You shook your head and gave him a smile. “You’re such a softie, katsuki.”

ଘ੭:: tags! :

@mrsbrandoxxx @sanemishina @meliii0 @bubble-bootie @hirugummies @uwiuwi @5sos-wdw @purpi-narwhale @triviajeongin @izukus-gf @smashboxgirl26 @esloao @uxavity @fluffieveggie @arael-asuka @sscarchiyo @lazyafgurl @meqgumis

293 notes · View notes

fractallogic · 2 years ago

Text

how am I doing, you ask? HOW??? am I doing????

well, I finally reset the router in the airbnb and I've been here since tuesday, exclusively using my phone and, briefly, the phone hotspot when I need something on my computer, because the wifi did not work

mom and bf still don't have wifi in their house because ah, oh, we didn't know until YESTERDAY that no one had called to set it up again after they were gone for so long. (bf called this morning. comcast is SHIPPING something to them before they can access the wifi. it will not get here by the time I leave.) this is obviously great and super convenient considering we're in an age where everything is electronic and it's also my mom, who fully embraced the internet and being digital in the mid-90s.

I found my mom's most recent will, which is four pages long. there is one section where she says she's leaving her share in [PROPERTY] to bf, and one section where she says she's splitting the rest of her assets between bf, me, brother, and stepdad in these various unequal amounts. that's it. she does not specify what the other assets are. I'm entitled to 25% of her estate, minus that property previously specified. what the fuck does 25% of her estate even entail. the pueblo house? (am I technically speaking entitled to 25% of 1/3 of the property? wtf?) plus 25% of her various other accounts and whatever? is it only the stuff in the house (and scattered throughout wherever she owns things)?

let me reiterate, it is FOUR pages long. one page is the witnessed page. one page is the beginning of the will where you renounce all other previous wills. half a page is naming bf as the executor and me as the executor if he can't do it. half of what's left is the "i leave the property to bf". half of what's left is "everything else is left in these proportions to these four people".

i just..................... god.

bf got all grumpy with me earlier when I was like "mom, we need to send a copy of your 2021 tax return that you filed jointly with stepdad TO STEPDAD so that he has some kind of record of his 2021 taxes, and there's no record of it in your turbotax account online, and there's nothing on your desktop computer or google drive, where is it". he was like WELL that's AWFULLY PERSONAL to be LOGGING INTO HER TURBOTAX ACCOUNT

bruh. what the fuck do you think we need to be doing with her death imminent and her memory basically gone. her short-term memory is atrocious, and that starts with anything happening in basically april of this year. she can't remember what she had for breakfast by the time lunch rolls around. and I'm sorry but this is as cogent as she's going to be for the literal rest of her life. so, sorry dude, we're going to be doing LOTS of logging into various accounts to make sure all her affairs are in order. she was also sitting here with us as we did it, so like, chill.

also yeah, don't talk to me like i'm stupid for not checking anything on her laptop and only checking her desktop computer, because I couldn't find her laptop in the hellhole that is her office space and I don't know where the fuck you put anything in this goddamn fucking house especially after you unpacked mom's things YESTERDAY from your fucking trip. of COURSE that's the one you had with you on the trip and what you did your taxes on, but I can't fucking look for anything on it if I can't find the fucking computer in the first fucking place

HE LOOKED AT ME LIKE I WAS STUPID; I'M NOT STUPID. he backed down after I used my "hi adult, you are talking to another adult" voice, but oh my do I feel PRICKLY after that. can't wait to see how far we progress toward "professor talking to students who clearly cheated but denied doing so" in the next two days.

(also, my man, you have six people who are going to be helping you eat out the fridge tomorrow for breakfast and lunch. I think I can make a plan to make fucking pasta sauce for dinner tomorrow. GOD FORBID I make something that you can fucking FREEZE what we don't eat and don't need to worry about going bad. jesus fucking christ.)

you fucking goddamn coward. sack up, buddy. you need to get your shit together and act like a fucking adult right now. you're scared? sure. but you need to do all this anyway.

you know who else is probably even more scared (deep down somewhere where she remembers getting her terminal prognosis a month ago or remembers looking up what a glioblastoma is)? my fucking mother.

you know who's scared but doing it anyway? my brother, who is a CHILD and having to learn about all of this stupid fucking bullshit on the job instead of getting to learn about it first, who is about to lose his primary caregiver very prematurely, and who is facing having no parents in a very short period of time.

dude, you're a grown-ass man and you can't manage this? I'm tired. I'm done. I'm ready to steamroll over you so my brother and stepdad have to deal with as little of your bullshit as possible, because you keep putting up needless fucking roadblocks all of the time because you're afraid of death and in denial about your partner dying. welcome to the present, we're running a real nation.

#i'm frustrated by my mom's lack of planning and her bf's ability to get in the way at every turn #i'm so tired and i can't wait to go home #i'm losing patience for my brother acting like a normal 21yo #who is understandably overwhelmed and scared and sad #and having to talk him down every night and come up with a plan for everything and. everything.#i just really want to not be here and having to figure everything out while managing everyone's emotions #also sorry not sorry that i'm very much resonating with stupid young hamilton right now #but you want to go old man? let's fucking go

3 notes · View notes

wonderlustlucas · 5 years ago

Text

four - hwang hyunjin

⇢ prompt They say good things come in fours. Who? Couldn’t tell you, but they especially do during Christmas. Maybe that’s just Saint Nick. ⇢ pairing hyunjin x female reader ⇢ word count 11.7k ⇢ genre fluff ⇢ warnings swearing. mentions of alcohol & s e x. teenagerz being teenagerz. insane amount of fluff & stupidity. kind of ends w a smutty cliffhanger. ⇢ summary After suppressing how you felt about Hyunjin back in high school, you thought you were done going back on your feelings. Turns out, a little time apart, the spirit of Christmas, and an accidental nap is the perfect cocktail for falling in love with your best friend.—friends to lovers!au ⇢ a/n hello & merry christmas! here is a gift for you all on this very merry day. also, thank you for 1,000 followers! that in itself is one of the best presents i could ask for. thank you for all your kindness & support on my blog & for following me in the first place! it truly means so much to me. i hope you enjoy reading! ♥︎

big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇[now] Sorry! I just woke up

big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇[now] Whats wrong fool

big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇[now] Did u rlly think 12 texts were gonna wake me up?🤦🏻‍♂️ godt damn u on some WACK shit

You roll your eyes in time with each consecutive text that Hyunjin sends, waiting for the lock screen of your phone to blacken after reading them. He’s about as useless as pedals on a wheelchair, you think, ignoring the texts and forcing the device into the snug back pocket of your jeans before transferring the last two excessively packed grocery bags into the trunk of your car with an exhausted huff. Christ, if the bagging lady put one more item in those bags, she would be the one to blame for six cans of soup rolling about the parking lot.

The license plate rattles when you slam the trunk lid closed before hurrying around to the driver’s side and anxiously hopping inside to start blasting the heat. It is obnoxiously chilly for the first of September. Well, not really. Your body is just beginning to get used to the ungodly wrath of summer’s sweltering heat leaving you in a constant state of sweat and nausea for the past three months. Not that you’re complaining, of course. You nearly did somersaults of joy when the morning news reported a temperature of sixty-one degrees with some wind gusts and welcomed the beginning signs of autumn with open arms.

You would never admit to Mom who told yo uon the way out to change out of a tank top or at least wear a jacket, but yes— you are, in fact, cold. But now you have godsent warmth blowing from the vents and the seat warmer on its highest setting beginning to thaw away the goosebumps painted on your skin. Giving your arms one last rub, you lean up enough to retrieve your phone and open the conversation with Hyunjin.

[2:37 PM] YN: please. smell my balls

[2:37 PM] YN: nothings wrong btw. i was GOING to ask if u wanted any specific snacks for tn buttttt someone didn’t answer

[2:37 PM] YN: and excuse u i called too. i may be an idiot but im not stupid

[2:38 PM] YN: ik u would never hear a text when ur having wet dreams of yeji

You stop there with a smug smirk when the three dots on his side appear, knowing you’ve hit his funny bone with this one.

[2:38 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: Bruh

[2:38 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇 :I’ve literally never have had a wet dream ab Yeji pls stop

You cannot fight your shit-eating grin, thumbs circling over the keyboard in thought as he apparently deletes whatever other text he was going to send when the three dots disappear.

[2:38 PM] YN: mmhmmmm

[2:38 PM] YN: because last time you slept over you weren’t whimpering her name in ur sleep

[2:38 PM] YN: sureeeee

You decide to end your teasing there and continue once you’re home. It is starting to get late, after all, and Mom will begin to worry that the creepy employee always in aisle sixteen has abducted you. Plus, you’re cruel and like to watch Hyunjin suffer. Switching the ringer off, you throw your phone into the cupholder and drastically lower the heat and turn off the seat warmer. It’s starting to feel like a sauna in here, and not in a fun way. Can’t understand how anyone enjoys hanging out in a sauna to begin with anyway, but to each their own, you guess.

In the five-minute drive it takes until you are pulling into the driveway, Hyunjin calls three times. He is incredibly peeved at your lack of a response to his distressed texts and still wound up from your text about Yeji. As if! You’re already a clown not realizing his ever-growing affections for you, but to think he had a crush on Yeji? You’re the whole damn circus!

By the time he calls a fifth time, now sat up on his elbow in bed and strumming an annoyed beat of his fingers at his thigh because he really just wants to yell at you for being the most annoying person alive (and maybe to hear your voice, too), you have brought in the last of the bags and look to Mom who has started to put the groceries away and expects you to half-heartedly do the same.

“It’s Hyunjin. He’s having an existential crisis because I haven’t answered his texts,” you explain to her, unenthusiastically holding your phone as it vibrates against your palm. Half of you wants her to ask to finish putting everything away first just so you can torture him even longer. Alas, such extravagant wishes are denied, because when it comes to Hyunjin, your parents would undoubtedly throw you under the bus just to keep that boy happy. And so, just like any other time, Mom’s undying love for Hyunjin has her dismissing you from the kitchen with a hearty laugh.

“Jesus Christ! What?” You hiss, halfway up the stairs when you tap to answer his call on the last ring.

“Wow! Look who finally decided to answer!” Hyunjin shouts back, the swoosh of his sheets once he finally falls back against his pillow again rustling all too loudly through the phone. “I was driving,” you spit, marching into your bedroom and collapsing against your bed, the same rustle of your blankets sounding loudly into his ear. “There’s a thing called the speaker, ___. Ever heard of it?” He retorts, evidently shutting you up and he knows he won this round if your silence is anything to go by.

“Whatever,” you groan, using all your toe strength to kick the sneakers off your feet by their soles, “what was so important that you couldn’t wait and had to call me five billion times?”

“I had a question. And you hurt my feelings.” Well, shit. You can practically hear and see his pout through the phone and your heart positively swells in your chest at how undeniably, unjustifiably cute he is. You sigh.

“I’m sorry for making fun of you about Yeji. I’m going to do it again but next time I promise I won’t pull the wet dream card,” you apologize frankly; because, in all honesty, it would be worse to say you are not going to do it again when you most certainly will. Bullying Hyunjin is fun, what can you say?

Hyunjin heaves an exasperated breath from his lungs because he knows there is no point in arguing with quite possibly the most sarcastic human he knows and that’s the best form of an apology he’s going to get. Whatever. He’ll make sure to wipe his morning snot and droll on your shirt in the morning. “Anyway,” he grumbles, in the background you hear Kkami bark from a few rooms over, “I was going to ask if you wanted to come over my place instead? I know your parents probably want to see me and stuff but mine are out of town for the night so we can sleep in my bed until like three without Mom waking us up to force feed breakfast.” You roll your eyes. Of course your parents want to see him.

“Plus, Mom just put that grey comforter I know you really like on my bed so we can cuddle all night and watch stuff on YouTube,” he quickly adds as a convincing afterthought. He’s really got his sales pitch going on this one. Truth is, you have only slept in his bed with that stupidly soft blanket twice last winter break, but it’s still sweet that he remembers how much you loved it (aka how quickly you fell asleep and how grumpy you were being woken up because it’s just that darn cozy). Either way, you would never pass up an opportunity to snuggle up with Hyunjin in the comfort of his own bed with his citrusy, floral scent on the pillows luring you to sleep.

“My Mom is going to be heartbroken, Hyunjin,” you tease, “but who cares. You had me sold at sleeping until three. Do you still want me to bring the snacks I got?”

“Oh, thank God. I love your Mom’s cooking but I haven’t left bed all day and I really want to keep it that way. And yes, please. I’ve been eating dry cereal for the past two hours.”

“Hyunjin, have you brushed your teeth yet?”

“No. Didn’t you just hear me? I said I’ve been in bed all day. Eating cereal. When would I have brushed my teeth?”

“You’ve officially taken breakfast in bed to a whole new level, Jin. I’ll see you in a few hours. Oh, and please, you have no concept of personal space so make sure you brush your teeth before I come over.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Love ya, bye,” Hyunjin promptly hangs up, probably eager to get back to binging whatever drama he’s watching before you lecture him about his hygiene again. Not that it matters, anyway; chances are, it went in one ear and right out the other and you’re going to drag him out of bed later to brush his teeth.

Damn. You didn’t even get the chance to say love you back. Not that it matters.

It doesn’t, you quickly shut down the pesky thought that keeps you up at night and force it back into the storage part of your brain labeled ‘Deal with Later,’ because, really, you’ll have to think about that later. It’s not that you don’t want to think about it yet… you just don’t have the time to stop and really figure out what your feelings toward Hyunjin actually are. Yeah. That’s it.

And now isn’t the time, you tell yourself, scooting up the mattress in order to bury your face in the pillows to suffocate the pounding throb in your head. Hyunjin is nothing special.

Well, no. That’s a lie. Everything about Hyunjin is special. Anyone with eyes, ears, even a nose can sense that. You had quickly found out just how wonderful he is when you met him freshman year of high school. At the time, he was everyone’s sweetheart by the first day, but it just so happened his eyes were all on you.

He was obviously adorable, and every class you had together he always made a point to talk to you and returned your sarcasm with an impressive level of expertise. So, when it came to him asking you to the first homecoming, the answer was yes without a second thought. But during the last slow dance of the night, with his hands gently holding your waist, he at last listened to his conscience and revealed that as much as he liked you, he truly did not want to date in high school. Or right then, at least. And honestly, you were glad; Hyunjin was quite possibly your favorite person you had met thus far, and you would have rather kept him as a friend than commit to a relationship the second month of school and risk losing him later down the road.

And boy, keep him as a friend you did. As it turned out, Hyunjin grew to be your truest, best friend in high school. Sure, you each had your own friend groups, but the two of you were the iconic pair everybody knew. But strictly platonic, despite the rumors and wishes that went around for the next four years. You like to think that neither of you ever developed feelings past what everyone feels toward their best friend— an innocent, wholesome sort of love.

But when had things changed? Hormones, as always, were definitely a big part of it. Hyunjin was always a cutie, but it wasn’t until he grew into his own skin and developed a newfound confidence did you start to see him differently. Until everyone saw him differently. Neither of you missed the way people stared him down, pupils dilating every time he ran his fingers through the black tufts of his hair, hearts aching for some sort of interaction. Or when you started attending parties, groups of girls would fling themselves at him in a blundering disarray, most of which he would turn down with a gentle dismissal that flew over their heads, too drunk to actually care.

But then there were times his dick made the decision for him, desperation and deprivation weighing in on him and you’d watch with a tight jaw as he’d leave the room with the pretty girl of the night skipping after him. You never realized it was only on those nights did you wind up in the back seat of Han Jisung’s car.

But even after the physical attraction sizzled out over time, things were not the same. Hyunjin wasn’t your hidden little treasure anymore. All eyes were set on him and it took more than a glass of water to swallow your jealousy. But why? Why were you so resentful all of a sudden?

It’s hard to share Hwang Hyunjin, you decided. Once established that you were his main hoe and he was yours, it became a significant burden watching others try and get in between. Not that they did it with a malicious attempt to separate you, but it still hurt. You’re selfish, and you admit it— Hyunjin, quite frankly, is the love of your life. Romantic or not, nothing could change your feelings toward him. It goes beyond his unfathomable beauty and spunky personality. Everything about him from his nose to his hands, to his distaste for onions and the way his face scrunches up when he lets out that giggle of his and even to the way he prefers to sleep against the wall but will force you to when you’re over so he can “protect you in case there’s a monster” all mount into this big, giant section of your heart set aside for Hyunjin.

So despite your efforts to ignore the pang of jealousy each time he would find a potential someone or the joy whenever he’d find his way back because “they kept wanting to hang out in the morning even though I said I don’t wake up before noon,” this Hyunjin-shaped hole in your heart seems to only grow the longer you ignore it. Kind of like every medical condition out there: the longer you ignore it, the worse it gets. So, basically Hyunjin is your heart disease.

Yikes. Sounds a lot worse when you try putting it into words.

Well, he won’t be your heart defect for long if he keeps ruining those pearly whites of his by only brushing once just before bed, you chuckle to yourself, rolling to your side at the sudden lack of oxygen between your face and the pillow. There’s a fleeting moment without thought when you unconsciously reach for your phone to check for any notifications before the fattest revelation of them all falls from the ceiling and smacks you right upside the face.

Shit. Looks like you’ve gone right ahead and totally dissected each and every fiber of your feelings for Hyunjin.

Blinking up at the ceiling, the weight of your emotions isn’t as heavy as you expected them to be. Instead, it’s more of a breath of fresh air, as if you have finally accepted the way things fell instead of ignoring them. Your feelings for Hyunjin have always been there. It just took a little effort to get them out.

Nevertheless, it is going to be difficult hanging out with him in a few hours with your exposed emotions still needing to be processed. Especially when he will pull you to his side and keep you nestled there the entire night. Rubbing your temples, you realize it will take some serious self-control to put everything on the back burner and just enjoy the time spent with Hyunjin.

Sighing, you check the time on your phone again. 3:21 and a text from Hyunjin asking if you could bring green tea.

“Mom!” You yell, defeated. “You were right!”

You used to think Hyunjin lived far away. Truthfully, he’s only fifteen minutes away if you go ten over the speed limit. But the only way to get to his house entails driving through the chaos of the mall and town center, which adds an extra ten minutes sitting through traffic no matter the time of day.

Now, Hyunjin’s college campus is two hours away. Well, technically five from you, since you’re almost three hours away in the opposite direction. So you’re lucky if you get to see him once a month with how hectic school becomes and how difficult it is trying to plan to come home the same weekend. Fortunately, it has worked out this semester. And while you should spend this time with your families, they know how much you crave one another’s company as the weeks drag on. The twenty-two minutes it takes getting to each other’s homes is totally worth it.

You expect Hyunjin to tell you to use the key hidden underneath the resin meditating frog statue in the front garden to unlock the front door when you text him you have arrived, but to your utmost surprise, he’s there, awake, to open the door for you.

“Stinky!” You yell, dropping your things on the floor to burry yourself in his embrace, standing on your tippy toes to wrap your arms around his neck in order to really get the full experience of hugging your favorite giant. “Poopy!” He shouts in return, long arms winding tightly around your waist and even going so far as to lift you up a few inches. God. Hate when he does that.

“Why are you up? I thought I’d have to let myself in with you sleeping all your problems away,” you ask, smiling gratefully when he bends down to pick up your bag. “I realized Kkami hadn’t been out all day, so I came down to let him out and find actual food,” Hyunjin explains as he makes way into the kitchen, opening the back door to let said dog back inside. “Aw, poor thing,” you pout, squatting to scratch at Kkami’s neck when he zooms faster than the speed of light to you, “does that mean you brushed your teeth?”

“I did, actually,” Hyunjin snorts right back, scrunching his nose at you before turning away to open the fridge. Sitting on the floor with Kkami in your lap, you take the opportunity to finally get a good look at Hyunjin now that he’s distracted. And of course, he looks good. Really good. Last time you saw him he still was a brunette, a look he rocked during the spring and summer months. This is the first time you’ve seen the freshly dyed black hair in person. Even though he always looks handsome, something about Hyunjin with black hair completely changes his aura. Brings back memories of how badly you wanted him in high school. You shiver at the thought.

And, to top it all off, how he manages to stay in such disgustingly good shape despite his atrocious eating habits never ceases to amaze you. Like, come on. The boy eats worse than a raccoon seven days out of the week, lives off boba, works out maybe five times a month, dances in his free time and still keeps his body in tiptop shape. God, you hate him. His pediatrician probably hates him, too. You even go as far as to sniff the fries in your dining hall and you gain five pounds.

Even now, he looks unnecessarily regal in the baggy material of his sweatpants and flannel. And the warmth of his kitchen’s ambient lighting does nothing to suppress the heavy thumping of your heart. So casual is his dress, yet how immaculate he looks rummaging the cabinets for a snack.

“Are you hungry?” He asks, the familiar softness of his voice shaking you from your daze as he closes the refrigerator door after his unsuccessful search. Here’s the thing: you really aren’t hungry, but Hyunjin clearly is, so if you say no then all he will be thinking about is food until you decide that you are hungry. “Yeah,” is what you say, nudging Kkami off your crossed legs to stand, “I brought green tea and a few snacks, but we could order Chinese food or something. The place near Dunkin’ and the gas station makes bubble tea now, too.”

Hyunjin’s brows shoot up, flashing his boxy smile. “Is it good?”

“I mean, I’ve only had their pork dumplings and mango tea before, and it was pretty good. I don’t know about their noodles or anything, though,” you shrug, moving to stand beside him at the kitchen island. Distracted by Kkami trying to jump onto the sofa in the living room, you don’t look to Hyunjin until the poor dog is successful in doing so. Startled to find him already gazing down at you, your heart truly is not prepared for him to go right ahead and wrap his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder. Totally not freaking out or trying to overthink his need to constantly cling, you justify his actions by quickly recalling the time he said, “My head is too godtdamn big for my godtdamn body.” More like his head is too heavy because instead of a brain it’s just a chunk of cement up there. He just needs to rest his head sometimes.

Yeah.

“Mm, I don’t know,” Hyunjin hums, swaying your body with his to an unheard tune. By now, any coherent thought has dissipated into thin air and all you can do is melt against him. “Why?” You manage.

“’Cus if we order anything that means I’ll have to get up and get it.”

“Oh my God, Hyunjin, really?” You laugh. Your hands naturally glide to where his are linked at your stomach, pressing to interlock your fingers overtop his. “If that’s the only reason for your uncertainty than I could always come get it, idiot.”

“No! It’s okay,” Hyunjin says, jumping back before you can even process it, “I’m not that hungry anyway.”

“Ohhh ‘kay,” you laugh breathlessly, whiplashed by the whole thing. Good thing you aren’t hungry, because when was the last time Hyunjin turned down food? Blinking at him precariously, he doesn’t seem to notice until one too many seconds of silence pass by.

“C’mon,” he demands excitedly, jumping back into reality, “my roommate told me to watch this anime called Soul Eater but I wanted to watch it with you.” Once again, before anything can even register past every single That Was Cute™ alarm ringing in your brain, Hyunjin is grabbing your bag and reaching for your hand, leading you out of the kitchen and upstairs.

You and Hyunjin binge aforementioned anime until he falls asleep first around 2 AM, only stopping to order food an hour in (he’s an indecisive man indeed), to get up to retrieve it, and to actually eat while catching up. For most of the night, you are able to forget the way his heartbeat against your back mirrored your own in the kitchen. But then, a little while after you fall asleep yourself, Hyunjin unconsciously shifts closer and you spend another hour blinking at his relaxed hand twitching against your abdomen, trying to keep the hurricane inside your heart at bay.

You can’t make it home October. Hyunjin texted you to let you know he was going to be the third weekend in, and you tried desperately to manage your time in order to make it work. But one group project in chem lead to another paper in psych and before you knew it, your roommate was listening to you sob over a boy and curse out your classes.

September left you emotionally wrecked, to be totally honest. You hate Hyunjin and you hate the way he makes you feel and you especially hate how realizing you have a crush on him makes you unsure if everything he does is his way of hinting he feels the same or if he’s always been this touchy and you are just now recognizing it. So, missing a month of seeing your favorite human being essentially means missing another day of trying to decipher which actions of his go in the Friend list, and which go in the Questionable list. And that, my friend, is unacceptable.

You absolutely cannot not go home this month. November is the calm before the storm (the storm being exams looming the second week of December), and while it would be beneficial maybe staying on campus to continue preparing, you tell yourself going home will be just as helpful. Mental breaks, and stuff. Totally not just to see Hyunjin.

Either way, Hyunjin asks you if you would join him on the seventeenth to go to his second cousin’s christening and you absolutely cannot say no when you know how bored Hyunjin gets at family events when they aren’t for him. And so, fast forward to the third Sunday of November and you are ready to pass out ten minutes after entering the church.

“I’m so happy for you two! I always knew you would last into college,” one of Hyunjin’s aunts exclaims, pinching your cheeks but the only pinch you feel is that of your heart.

Clearly she is misinformed, or just prone to jumping to conclusions but yet again, you can’t really blame her with how couple-y you and Hyunjin are. Past the single tunnel vision of your gaze, you watch her smile falter when Hyunjin goes rigid beside you and oh my God this is the most embarrassing moment of my life, his whole family thinks we’re dating and here we are still stuck in each other’s friendz—

“I’m glad you think so, imo,” Hyunjin suddenly picks up, sneaking an arm around to rest his hand on your hip, tugging you close, “I don’t know what I’ll do if she ever decides to leave me.”

It’s nice to think that he means it, to imagine that you are here not as a tag-along but to join him in a family ceremony because you are part of the family. The thought turns your blood to sugar and everything surrounding you falls apart; you listen to the rest of their conversation without processing it, the precise detailing in the marble pillars blurs into a mass of white, and you still feel his strong hold on the curve of your waist yet you are lost in the swam of possibilities.

How lovely it would be to live up to her assumption. To ‘last into college’ as a couple, not as best friends. To be able to call him yours even when you’re not together, to come home and kiss his lips, to sleep in his bed and it mean more than the laziness of blowing up the air mattress. At some point, he leads you into the third pew to sit beside his parents, and when you greet them with a hug all you can think about is them viewing you as more than their son’s friend.

God, you hate it.

You’re not as religious as Hyunjin and his family. But for the first time in years, you find yourself looking to the crucifix during the service and praying to whoever is up there to give you some strength and patience, because Lord do you need it.

Hyunjin is a funny guy.

Or so he thinks.

It’s not that he isn’t funny. It’s just— compared to your friends Minho or Changbin, he isn’t at the top of the list. When you think of Hyunjin, the first words that pop up are soft, loud, and dramatic.

It’s not that he isn’t funny. He’s just weird.

Insanely, ridiculously weird. For example, the time he called Jeongin a vitamin. Or the time he slapped half a bottle of sunscreen on his face. Or his random bouts of dancing at inappropriate moments. Just to name a few.

After the Baptism, Hyunjin acted like nothing happened. Didn’t even bring it up. Not even a joke. After the ceremony, you joined his family for a luncheon, which just involved the two of you being weird and making peculiar dancing videos on SnapChat with the swirly filter and complaining about school for a few hours until he drove you home. Obviously you stopped for food again on the way.

But that was it. Things went on as normal, and you returned to campus later that night and forced the whole experience to the back of your brain. It was officially grind season, and grind season meant studying for exams. No parties. No boys. And certainly no Hyunjin.

You both were home for winter break in the blink of an eye. And in normal Hyunjin style, he sort of vanished for the first week. Probably catching up on his strict sleeping schedule, you presumed, and accepted the fact that it was going to be a few days before you saw or even heard from him. The only anticipation you felt was wanting to give him his Christmas gift.

After what seems like an eternity away from Hyunjin, you get out of the shower on this fine Saturday before Christmas to find a slew of texts from him.

[5:52 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: Aloha mamacita

[5:52 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: How do u feel about getting froyo tn

[5:52 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: We can get fat and then u can sleepover aaaand

[5:52 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: We can stare at the wall for a few hours

[5:52 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: And

[5:53 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: *cough*

[5:53 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: Exchange Jesus gifts

See? Weird. Who wants froyo when it’s thirty degrees out?

[5:53 PM] YN: “aloha mamacita”

[5:53 PM] YN: uHmmmMMM

[5:53 PM] YN: im down mr president

[5:54 PM] YN: why do u want ice cream in winter tho. don’t u want like

[5:54 PM] YN: hot chocolate or seomthing

Obviously not. Two hours later, Hyunjin arrives to pick you up for froyo despite all your efforts in convincing him maybe you could take the train to the city and watch a light show, or simply drive around and swoon over the rich people houses and their Christmas decorations. He didn’t budge. This leads you to your second question of the day: why is it that when you threw on sweats for the occasion you called yourself a hag, but upon entering Hyunjin’s car you make a mental note of how hot he looks when he’s wearing the same exact thing? You groan at the thought. It’s because it’s Hyunjin, of course.

“Bonjour, mademoiselle,” he greets, flicking your forehead once you settle into the seat of his Subaru WRX because he’s a hotshot and likes to flex that he can drive a manual. Not really— the car is absolute garbage by now, having been his Dad’s old car (his Dad likes to flex too, apparently). However, Hyunjin takes care of it enough for it to seem five years old instead of ten, and, either way, watching him work the stick shift is unexplainably hot.

You swat his hand away. “Drive, bitch,” you huff, twisting to buckle yourself in. Once he’s reversed out of your driveway, you glance back to find him fighting against a devilish smirk.

“So,” you start once he has navigated out of your neighborhood. His brow twitches up. “Are you taking Hawaiian and French at school? You’ve been throwing quite a lot of languages at me recently.” Hyunjin shoots you an unamused look. You return it with a wrinkle of your nose.

“Anyway,” he ignores your teasing, pausing to switch gears for whatever reason so he can make it through a yellow light, “how did your exams go?”

“Well, you know…” You trail off, looking to your window. It feels a lot later than eight o’clock. With it getting dark so early in the evening nowadays, it feels as if nighttime is always following you.

“You know… what?” Hyunjin interrupts your daze, concern laced in his voice. “They were fine. I passed everything, I’m just worried about my major,” you explain sadly, barely glancing at him before you are turning back to the window to stare at the moon. Must be nice being a moon. Just get to hang out in the sky watching everyone and being watched.

“I mean, if you want to switch, now’s the time. Better do it now before the second semester,” Hyunjin advises, wise as always. Not really, but he’s right. “What are you thinking of going into?”

Yikes. He’s going to kill you.

“Nursing,” you blurt.

“Oh my Lanta, ___, are you serious?” He groans, stopping at a convenient red light presenting the perfect opportunity for him to smack his forehead on the wheel. Dramatic. “How are you gonna manage that? You’ll practically be two years behind everyone else!”

“I know,” you sigh, throwing your head back on the headrest, “that’s the problem. Bio just isn’t doing it for me. I don’t think I can spend the rest of my life in a lab watching mitosis. I need something more rewarding, so theoretically nursing is a perfect start. I don’t know, though.”

“Why don’t you switch to interior design or something? We could get our own HGTV show, ___,” he says, but you don’t meet his gaze when he glances over because beneath his words, you can sense some serious hopefulness. Interior design would be cool, but you’ve never considered that as a career choice. You once helped your parents pick out everything when they redid a bathroom at home and that turned out great, but as a major?

“I don’t know, man. I’ll have to talk to my counselor about it, I guess,” you shrug, pulling the hood of your sweatshirt over your head and tightening the drawstrings until the material covers your eyes, “why can’t you audition to be a K-pop star or something? I could be your manager. Heck, even your makeup artist. I’ve done your makeup before, remember?”

Hyunjin laughs, loud, and the sound sinks deep into your heart and makes you feel warm all over. Stress? Gone.

For the next few minutes or so, the ride is comfortably quiet. At some point, he turns on the radio and Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You” floods your brain and reminds you to look forward to exchanging Christmas gifts later. God, you hope he likes it. You really went out on the sentimental gifts this year.

Hood shielding your vision, you jump when his large hand suddenly comes to grab the top of your head, squeezing hard and you imagine he’s trying to press some hopefulness into your brain. “Hand on the penis stick, Hwang,” you bark, blindly reaching for his own head across the way and pulling his ear when you do so. Good Lord, you hope no one can see into the car because… what.

Hyunjin lets out a giggle this time, reaching to pull you into a headlock and even though he’s got your head shoved up against his sturdy chest and goes on to give you a noogie, you’re stuck being all high and loopy on the sound of his happiness. And hey, it’s nice to know you’re the cause of it.

“We’re literally parked, idiot. If you had your hood down you would’ve realized,” Hyunjin snickers, releasing you after watching you struggle for a few seconds. Jerking away from him, you swiftly pull back your hood. “Oh,” you laugh, reading the flashy Yogo Factory sign above the building in front of you, “you could’ve just told me instead of watching me bask in misery.”

Hyunjin suitably ignores your moaning and groaning by getting out of the car and standing in front of the car, illuminated by the headlights. Why? Why must he look so scrumptious in his black hoodie and grey sweatpants and four-year-old white Nike sneakers? He has no gosh darn right!

After fixing the mess he made of your hair, you at last join him outside the car, shooting him another glare and moving ahead of him to open the shop’s door without waiting for him. “From now on, we have to start texting each other what we’re wearing before we go out, ‘cus this looks a little ri-donk-ulous,” Hyunjin whispers in your ear as you make your way to the cup selection, trying to ignore all the stares you— no, he is getting along the way.

“What do you mean?” You ask, plucking two medium sized cups up before turning to look at him. Then you look down at yourself. Oh. Looks like you’re both wearing the hoodie from junior spirit week. “Nice.” Just Couple Things™!

Back to Hyunjin being weird— why did he drag you all the way out here just to get a cup of chocolate frozen yogurt and maybe half a scoop of peanut butter chips?

Meanwhile, he watches in absolute disgust as you blow through your own dessert. Vanilla yogurt with probably every topping offered because you physically cannot make a decision, especially when they have chunks of cookie dough up there.

“So,” Hyunjin starts, trying not to look you in the eye considering you look like a goblin shoveling globs of diabetes down your throat, “have you talked to Jisung recently?”

You choke on a Fruity Pebble at his inquiry, prompting him to reach across the table and slap your back a few times until your esophagus is cleared. “Ugh,” clearing your throat one last time, you take a few sips of water while shooting him a glare. Jisung? Really? “How dense are you?” You hiss unintentionally.

Hyunjin raises his hands in defense. “Just a question.”

Yeah, just a question. Dumbass. “I mean,” you laugh awkwardly, “not really. We have a streak on Snap and sometimes we’ll talk occasionally but I don’t text him every day or anything. How about you?”

He shrugs, concentrating instead on stirring his yogurt into a goopy mess. “Eh. We still use our group chat a lot but that’s it. He’s too busy making music in Malaysia.”

You chuckle at this, picking out the boba from your own cup and leaving the rest now that it has started to look like something sold at the Chum Bucket. “That sucks,” you offer, not the best at giving him consolidation, you opt for linking your feet around his own in some weird act of intimacy, “isn’t he coming home for the holidays, though? I’m sure you can all have a reunion soon.”

“Yeah, he is,” Hyunjin hums, suddenly too focused on trying to escape your trap under the table. Annoyed Hyunjin is cute. “Stoooop,” he whines, kicking at your shins before breaking into boisterous laughter at your relentlessness, “I will not hesitate to throw this cup at your face.”

“Yeah, right,” you scoff, “I’d like to see you try.”

At this, Hyunjin drops his stupidly long arms beneath the table and easily captures your foot by the ankle, pulling hard enough for you to slip down your side of the booth. “Hyunjin!” You shriek, panicking slightly at your sweaty hand’s insecure grip against the leather. You’re going to fall. You’re going to fall flat on your ass underneath a table at a frozen yogurt place because the boy you like pulled your foot too hard. Fantastic. Ignoring you, he starts to wiggle your shoe off your foot no matter how hard you try to squirm out of his relentless grip. “Stop trying to eat my toes in the middle of Yogo!”

Finally, he releases your foot, letting it fall limp against his thigh.

“God,” you huff, breathless as you squirm back up your seat, cheeks burning ferociously, “you are such an ass.”

Behind the playful smirk he fails to hide, something darker glints in Hyunjin’s eyes and it makes your heart skip a beat. Then, “We should go.” The suggestion makes the heat of your blush scorch even hotter down your neck and you instinctively turn away, only to find the customers on the other side of the shop watching you with just as perturbed looks. Fantastic, part two.

“Okie,” you squeak out, blinking after him in complete and total bewilderment as to what just happened when he gets up to throw his trash away. Whatever. Following after him, you too toss your cup out before quickly finding your hand engulfed by his larger one as he leads you back outside, the sudden sharpness of the cold air bringing tears to your eyes. You desperately want to ask him what that was about, or why he’s acting so sneaky, but you stay silent, too afraid your voice will come out shaky and vulnerable. Instead, you let him tug you into his side and try to keep up with him no matter how badly your knees threaten to buckle with each glance you sneak up at him.

It’s silent when you enter the car, watching warily as he reverses out of the parking spot and maneuvers through the lot. Your heart rate seemingly cannot slow itself down, adrenaline taking the place of oxygen the longer you stare at him, at the concentrated scrunch to his face, at the cute tip of his button nose and at the swell of his lips and you distantly wonder what would happen if you pulled him into a kiss at the next red light.

In the midst of your daydream Hyunjin clears his throat, bringing you back to reality and you realize with a startle that he has caught you. Jesus Christ! What has gotten into you? You mentally smack yourself upside the head, instantly turning away from his cocky little gaze and staring straight ahead in search of something else to focus on. “___,” he sing-songs, slow and sensual and entirely demolishing the walls you have built around yourself. It is at this red light you wish to simply open the door and run.

“Yes?” You manage, wincing at how small your voice sounds and while looking out his window instead of into his eyes, you notice him grip the steering wheel hard enough to turn his knuckles white. The tension is insurmountable, weighing in heavily on your chest and you desperately wish to arrive home, even though that means having to survive the next twelve hours with him. Anything is better than the small confines of his car.

“What do you want to do when we get home?” He asks, cool as a cucumber. You pale. It is a dangerous question and you do not know if he realizes that. “Um,” you cough, scooting to sit up straight, “whatever you want.” You whisper the last part, genuinely petrified because you have absolutely no idea if your brain is twisting everything to make it seem like Hyunjin is flirting or if things are totally normal. No idea.

“Hm,” he offers, tilting his head in thought, “we shall see.”

Yeah. We shall.

The rest of the ride is quiet, comfortably or uncomfortably you cannot say because you are too busy trying to calm the Spongebob burning office scene occurring inside your own head, hopelessly telling yourself that everything is fine, Hyunjin’s fine, you’re fine. Just pretend like nothing happened, you tell yourself when Hyunjin pulls into his driveway with practiced ease. “Ugh,” he groans after retrieving your bag from the back seat, and you watch with a raised brow as he skips up to his porch, yelling, “I have to pee!”

“Begone with you, piss boy,” you tease, holding the screen door open for him as he struggles to unlock the storm door and pulling on one of his hoodie’s drawstrings just to annoy him. “Stop,” he growls, low and playful but nevertheless sending a swarm of butterflies to your tummy. You ignore him. Finally unlocking the door, Hyunjin shoves the keys into his pocket and seizes your wrist, yanking your arm down with enough force to nearly topple you into him. “Why are you being so annoying tonight?” He frowns at you, nose and brows scrunched in irritation and it is only because of his proximity do you finally soften up.

“Sorry,” you pout back, bringing your other hand up to boop his nose, “I just missed ya.”

“Ew,” he snorts, stepping past the threshold and kicking off his shoes. You follow suit, closing the door behind you and clicking the lock into place as Kkami comes sprinting over. “B-R-B,” Hyunjin announces, presumably bouncing away to the bathroom.

“Oh, boy,” you huff, squatting to pick up the fluffy little dog and hugging him close to your chest, “your dad is making my life very difficult.” Pressing a quick kiss to the top of his head, you put Kkami back down and grab your bag before heading upstairs, knowing Hyunjin is going to take his grand old time and probably take a shit while he’s at it. Plus, you’re impatient and dying to take your bra off.

Aside from what light his Gudetama nightlight offers, Hyunjin’s room is ultimately left dark. Here’s the thing: he used to have a lamp on his dresser, but then he took it with him to college and only brings it home for summer because he’s lazy and sleeps the majority of the time he’s home, anyway. Instead, he put up his little remote-controlled Christmas tree in addition to the lava lamp he has beside his bed. Perfect. For Hyunjin, at least.

Switching both of these on, their subtle glow offers just enough to keep you from banging your toe against something. It’s happened one too many times. Hyunjin’s room isn’t messy— he really isn’t a messy person to begin with, but he will reorganize the furniture in his room fifty times a year and you never know where the crooked leg to his bedside table will be to ambush your pinky toe.

Setting your bag onto his bed, you excitedly fumble past all your layers and unclasp your bra, maneuvering out of it with a delighted exhale just as Hyunjin begins his ascent up the stairs, steps creaking loudly under his heavy trudging. “I’m an idiot,” he grumbles, leaning against the doorframe to catch his breath.

You don’t bother to look at him, opting to quickly retort instead, “We been knew.”

“Ugh,” Hyunjin groans, exasperated, and you finally turn to him after successfully jamming aforementioned undergarment into your bag, “anyways. I don’t know why I didn’t just come up here, because I have to wash my face anyway and you do too and now we’re both going to have to share a sink.”

“Aw,” you coo, tone dripping with sarcasm as you pat his arm, “poor baby has to share the bathroom.”

“I’m actually going to strangle you,” he sighs, nevertheless following after you into the bathroom.

“Kinky.”

Hyunjin glares, unamused as he opens a drawer for his pink bow hairband and your striped pink and blue one that he bought for you, but keeps here for sleepovers. Yeah. He throws it to your face. “Sorry,” you offer, pulling the soft headband up to hold your hair back, “I’ll try to stop. I’m just so used to annoying you.”

“Clearly,” he scoffs, flashing his stupidly cute teasing smile and in your head, you imagine raising a white flag in surrender— he’s got you, he’s won, it’s over. Time to call it quits and head home. Evidently shut up (for now), you offer him a roll of your eyes before turning on the sink to wet your hands before pumping out some of his scrumptious watermelon face wash. Maybe if you scrub hard enough, you’ll manage to rinse away all the overwhelming thoughts of the night, too.

Barefaced Hyunjin is immaculate. Well, Hyunjin is immaculate twenty-four hours out of the day, but barefaced, freshly washed, hair messy, ready for bed Hyunjin is immaculate, and you are one of the few people lucky enough to see this eighth wonder of the world as often as you do.

Now, maybe it has something to do with the unexpected ambiance the light from his laptop, Christmas lights, and lava lamp have created together that makes him look so unfairly beautiful at this given moment. Or, you’re just insanely pussywhipped and looking for an excuse. You try not to think about it.

“Why are you so squirmy tonight?” He asks, frustrated enough to interrupt Kermit singing ‘Shawty I don’t mind’ playing from his laptop. “I’m not,” you defend, a weak argument indeed, given that you have just finished adjusting your position beside him for the umpteenth time.

“I mean, four female Ghostbusters? The feminists are taking over! I’m an ad—”

“___, you’ve touched my dick like four times. Don’t try and tell me you’re not squirmy. What’s wrong?” Hyunjin interrupts a second Vine, and even goes on to talk over ‘I have the power of God and anime on my side!’ like a lunatic. Oh Christ, you have? Surely you would have noticed. “Sorry,” you mumble, embarrassed as you bury your face into the curve of his pectoral and instinctively move your leg settled between his away, “I’m just hot, to be honest.” Technically, it is not a lie. Hyunjin’s family definitely keeps their thermostat at a higher temperature than yours and you always manage to sweat your ass off every time you come over. This time, however, you are certain it has more to do with the assault your heart is facing rather than your sweat glands.

At the sound of his tap against the spacebar to pause the video, you wordlessly and reluctantly sit up from your comfortable spot beside him in order to rid yourself of your heavy sweatshirt. Now, here lies the problem. Sweatshirt: off. Nipples: out. Realistically, Hyunjin has seen your boobs a number of times over the past few years, and even if he hadn’t, he probably wouldn’t even bat an eye. But right now, your heart is on the line, you’re embarrassed and you’re trying to play it extremely safe.

You toss the hoodie to the floor and nestle right back where you were anyway, slinging your right arm over his torso and ignoring his sharp intake of breath when you snuggle closer. “Better?” He asks, voice strained and it literally makes you nauseous. “Yep.”

He resumes the video. You had started early in the night watching Pom Poko, which unsurprisingly ended with the two of you crying at the bittersweet ending, then moved to TikTok compilations on YouTube to cheer up before moving on from them and onto the classic Vine compilations. You paid good attention for the most part, chuckling along with him to ‘What up, I’m Jared, I’m nineteen and I never fucking learned how to read,’ ‘Bruh chill, I don’t know why you in a big time rush,’ and all the other absolute comedic masterpieces. But after the fourth or fifth video of the same six second clips with an occasional rare one, you began to grow bored and decided to do what you do best: admire Hyunjin.

Sure, ‘Come get yo juice!’ followed by the loud smash of the oven made you smile, but you found the flashing lights casting shadows beneath Hyunjin’s eyes and lips much more fascinating. Of course, this is not the first time you have been held so close to him. But it is, however, all too easy to get lost in the sight of him and you’ve noticed recently that you are in desperate need of a map. Whether it’s due to your time away from him or simply an appreciation for untouched beauty you do not know.

Even now, your gaze flickers to his laptop once you hear ‘Get to Del Taco,’ but having already watched it five thousand times you tilt your head upward to catch Hyunjin’s silent giggle at ‘free-sha-voca-do.’ It’s a vicious cycle, really, going back and forth between wanting to simply enjoy the night and realizing enjoying the night lies totally in Hyunjin’s presence. And so, you continue to fall into this trap each time until you pay no mind to the videos at all, basking in the brilliance of Hyunjin’s joyous smile and the warmth his happiness makes you feel. It is this thought that slowly tugs you to sleep, a fight to keep your heavy eyelids open lost until finally, you give in to the comfort and allow yourself to drift off to the sound of ‘Step the fuck up, Kyle.’

You think you are dreaming.

You think.

“___,” the softness of Hyunjin’s voice at the crown of your head eases you from the clutches of sleep and you stretch your locked limbs before curling further into his side. “We didn’t open presents.” Even though you can’t see him, you can hear his pout, and you realize you must be awake to hear the disappointed words caught sluggishly between his lips so vividly. You hum, hesitant to open your eyes because you really want to go back to sleep. Just for a little while. And so, you ask, “What time is it?”

“Just past two,” he whispers.

You hum again, trying to formulate a sensible sentence in the parts of your brain still asleep, “We can… wake up at four. And open gifts. Okay?”

“Okay, weirdo,” Hyunjin chuckles to himself, sliding lower down the mattress after shutting his laptop.

You think you are dreaming.

You think.

You can’t remember ever falling asleep facing each other. But yet again, your brain is clouded beyond capability and now, you know for certain you are dreaming. Hyunjin never faces you.

Blinking slowly, it takes a few seconds for your eyes to adjust to the impenetrable darkness and you struggle to make out the features of Hyunjin’s face. You know you are dreaming, and so you tug him closer, throwing a leg over his thigh and an arm over his waist. Even in your sleep, you feel the sadness pricking at your heart, for even it knows this is only what dreams are made of. You like to make the best of it.

“You know I love you, Jinnie, right?” Your voice comes out funny, drawn out and mumbled like your tongue is numb and you fight the urge to feel for yourself.

“Of course I do. I love you too.” His reply surprises you. You thought he was asleep and, either way, hearing such fond words from him puts your heart at ease. He must be misunderstood.

“No. I mean like… I like you, love you. Like I want to kiss you… kiss you good morning and before bed love you. Send you hearts and take stupid couple pics and… go on dumb dates love you. You know?” Your words feel garbled and incomprehensible the longer you go on, trying to express how you feel when nothing is real proving to be increasingly difficult. God, if only you could do it when things are real.

You start to feel yourself slipping as he mutters a reply, mind in free fall and fuck, fuck, fuck, he’s whispering and you can’t hear him but you are too tired and helpless to wake yourself up to hear it. No, too lost in the next dream to go back. You can’t tell what is real and what isn’t. Christ, were you awake? You can’t tell. All you know is that you are warm, so, so warm and letting sleep take over you once more is the best answer to all your questions.

Hyunjin always says he hates waking people up. Because he’s normally the one needing to be awoken, whenever the roles are swapped he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do.

This time, however, he takes it upon himself to repeatedly smack your face with his pillow. Not a fun experience when it’s coming from someone who fails to recognize his own strength. “Jesus, fuck! Okay!” You hiss, the cloud of sleep abruptly ripped away from you with the slap of his pillow against your skin. Arms raised defensively in front of you, you catch his next swing and tear the pillow out of his grasp to shield yourself all before you have even opened your eyes. When you do so, with the blatant intention just to find where he is and hurl the pillow at him, you are met with the harsh light from his ceiling fan and have to squint past the stinging white light to see his shit-eating grin.

“Was that necessary?” You groan, undeniably annoyed and wanting to glare at him more but needing to rub the ache out of your eyes. “Yes,” is all he says, reaching for your bag and catapulting it to you. He is incredibly lucky you are quick enough to catch it before it thumps against your head. What has gotten into him? Did he eat an entire bag of Pixy Stix while you were asleep? You watch, still dazed from sleep and reeling from the whole pillow smacking attack, as he flings open his closet door and turns back around with two neatly wrapped boxes. You squint to make out the dancing Santa T-rex wrapping paper.

“Oh,” you chirp, understanding, and you unzip your bag to retrieve the large box taking up the majority of space, “thanks for waking me up. I’m surprised you remembered. Did you stay up?”

A rosy blush burns its way across his cheekbones. Odd. “I, um�� yeah. No, actually,” he stutters, really odd, given he was bouncing off the walls not even thirty seconds ago, “I set an alarm. You made me sleepy.” Hyunjin sits beside you once you have scooted over, leaning against the wall and crossing his long ass legs. He keeps his eyes trained on the boxes in his hands. “Oh,” you hum, looking to your own gift and suddenly wishing for the mattress to swallow you up, “sorry. I haven’t gotten as much sleep as you on break so far.”

“I don’t think anyone ever has,” he jokes and you finally look to him, sharing a cheeky smile before he gets all shy again, tongue darting out to wet his lips, “um, Merry Christmas, ___.”

It’s a simple phrase, but it makes your heart swell. “Merry Christmas to you too, Hyunjin.” Leaning over, you wrap your arms around his shoulders in an awkward side hug, but still end up feeling all drunk and loopy on love when he eagerly returns the gesture, arms curling around you.

“Okay,” you huff, sitting back, “me first.” You dramatically hold your gift out to him, jittery and nervous all over. Buying for Hyunjin is always hard. He’s just so easy to please, but when you want to do more than just please him it’s a constant battle trying to decide how far out you are going to go for him each year.

You watch impatiently as he tears the wrapping paper open first, and then finally lifts the flaps of the box up. “Aw,” he whimpers, pulling out the quokka plushie and attached certificate, “you adopted a quokka for me?”

You grin when he hugs the soft stuffed animal to his chest, the weight on your shoulders partly lifted from his positive reaction. He reaches back into the box, brow scrunched in thought as he regards the framed picture. “The First Day…?” Hyunjin asks, perplexed as he reads the title above the constellation poster. You scoot closer, leaning over to look it over once more. “This was the constellation of stars on our first day of freshman year. The day we first met.”

“Oh,” Hyunjin sniffs, “that’s really awesome, ___. Thank you. This is coming with me to school.” At this, he hugs you again, probably to hide the tears you know are threatening to spill because Hyunjin is Baby and cries every year. “Anything for my favorite fake Aussie,” you smile, leaning your head on his shoulder as he reads through the quokka adoption letter.

“Okay! Your turn!” He exclaims, setting his gifts back into the box and passing you the smaller one of his. He catches your curious glance to the second one he keeps by his side. “We have to open this one together.”

“Christ, okay. Looks like I’m gonna be crying tonight, too,” you sigh sadly. “Ooh,” jumping ahead of yourself, you wiggle your eyebrows at the white box before you, “Hyunjin if you bought me a Fitbit… I swear to God. How many times have I said I am not working out with you?” However, once you finish tearing open the wrapping paper you find it is not, in fact, a Fitbit.

“It’s not a Fitbit, idiot,” Hyunjin scoffs a second too late, waiting for you to slip the lid off the box. “They’re bond touch bracelets.”

“Explain,” you murmur, enamored but confused at the two little house arrest looking bracelets.

“So basically, we each wear one,” Hyunjin starts, taking one of the bracelets out and a burst of color blooms across its small screen at the motion, “and if you touch it, mine vibrates and I ‘feel’ your touch.” As he explains, he buckles it around your wrist, twisting it so it lies correctly. You silently take the second one and help it on him, brain too caught up to actually say anything.

“Try it,” Hyunjin whispers, suppressing his excitement.

You gingerly bring a finger to the little screen, tapping it once, twice. Nothing happens. Frowning, you try again, tapping and holding, then a second time, and finally— a strip of pink light appears and the bracelet gently vibrates as you tap and hold a random pattern. In response, the bracelet on Hyunjin’s wrist lights up blue, buzzing in the same pattern.

“Oh, Hyunjin,” you sniffle, fighting back your own tears because you refuse to let yourself ugly cry in front of him, “this is amazing. Now I can annoy you year-round. Thank you so, so much. I love you so much.” He hums, pulling you close when you turn to give him a proper hug. To your utmost surprise, however, instead of letting go he curls one fist into your side and helps swing your legs over to straddle his lap. “Oh.”

“___,” Hyunjin sighs thoughtfully, fingers playing with the sleeves of your tee, “I love you, too.”

You nearly spit up your coffee. If you were drinking coffee. Instead, you’re left with a dry mouth and a slack jaw at his words. Huh?

Glancing to the constellation picture peeking out of his box, and then to the matching bracelets you both wear, you find your mind reeling trying to make sense of it all. Yeah, you say the forbidden L-word to each another all the time, but most certainly not with you on his on lap and his lips mere centimeters away. The answer is so obviously clear as day you have trouble believing it.

“Fuck,” you laugh all of a sudden, as soon as the realization hits you, “I wasn’t dreaming, was I?”

Hyunjin lets out a joyous giggle, hands linking behind your back. Unable to hide his smile any longer, he clarifies, “You were not, madam. We literally just finished talking about when we were going to open gifts and then I got ready to sleep. Two seconds later you dumped your heart out to me, but when I answered, you were asleep.”

“Bruh,” you wince, hiding your face with your hands, “I am so sorry you had to deal with that.”

“No, don’t be,” Hyunjin comforts, reaching to tug your hands away. Your gut does somersaults when he intertwines his fingers with yours. “I was actually, uh, planning on doing some sort of confession to you anyway, but then you went right ahead and did it for me. So thanks for that.”

“Wow,” you chuckle, trying to wrap your mind around it all, “does that mean you, ahem, perhaps like me too?”

“No, I just got us really couple-y long distance relationship bracelets, pulled you onto my lap, and kissed you because I just want to be friends.”

“You didn’t kiss m—”

The sly little fucker interrupts your retort by quickly dipping down to press a fat smooch to your lips, missing miserably and you don’t know if he did it on purpose but you quickly fix the problem, releasing his hands to cradle his jaw and tilt his head the right angle. Finally, finally you kiss him, breathing in the smell of him like some sort of aromatherapy and whimpering into his mouth when his tongue swipes against your own. It is like nothing you have ever experienced, the taste and feel of him making you tremble and igniting a burst of electricity through your veins. You could kiss him forever, you think, sucking on his plump bottom lip greedily until he finally pulls back, desperate for air or trying to reel himself in you can’t say.

“You have to open your other gift,” Hyunjin reminds, chest heaving, and your gaze follows his long fingers as they comb his hair away from his forehead. Automatically, as if kissing Hyunjin once grants you some kind of free pass to do the same, you brush a few stray strands away from his face before leaning back to admire him. “Stoooop. You can’t do that and not expect me to kiss you again. Open. Your. Gift.” Hyunjin whines, squishing your cheeks and turning your head away.

“Okay, don’t blame this on me,” you huff, reaching for the second box before jabbing a finger into his chest, “you, sir, need to stop being so beautiful for like, two seconds.”

He scoffs, helping you rip off the wrapping paper, “You’re the beautiful one here.”

“Ew,” you wrinkle your nose, most certainly not used to Hyunjin dishing out such compliments, “this is too Hallmark Christmas movie for me. Let me open my gift in peace, ugly.” This box, unlike the bracelets’, is simple cardboard and when you lift open the lid, a brown leather book looks back at you. “You remember Up?” He asks.

On the leather, it reads Our Adventure Book in mismatched colors. “Yeah,” you whisper, flipping open the cover to find two baby pictures glued on the paper, one of Hyunjin, and one of you. At the top, it’s labeled ‘Before Shit Went Down.’ You laugh.

On the next page, there are random photographs from middle school, and then finally each other’s eighth grade graduation portraits. Then, written at the top is ‘Here It Begins,’ followed by a selfie he randomly took with you a few weeks into school freshman year, and then some from homecoming. Silently flipping through the rest of the book, your tears flow freely now, touched beyond comparison at all the photographs and all the memories accompanying them. Some are from large events like prom, others from random moments you don’t even remember, but each and every one comes together to form a special mold fitting perfectly into that Hyunjin-shaped hole in your heart.

The last picture is from the christening last month. Of course, it isn’t one of the nicer photos his mom took of the two of you, but a SnapChat selfie with the flaming sunglasses filter. He’s mid-laugh and you’re pressing a kiss to his cheek. Funny thing is, you don’t even remember taking it.

The page next to it is blank, aside from what’s written at the top of the page. “Togetha Foreva,” you read aloud, voice choked up and God, you cannot fathom how gross you look right now. “What the fuck, man!” You sob, punching Hyunjin’s shoulder before wiping your nose and cheeks with the back of your hands. “I didn’t sign up for this cock and ball torture.”

Hyunjin laughs loudly at this, pulling you into a hug and giving you a few seconds to recover. “Hyunjin, this is like… seriously the best thing anyone has ever done for me, holy shit. God, you Pinterest son of a bitch, this is such a good idea,” you groan, flipping back through the pages and getting teary-eyed all over again, “I can’t express how much this means to me, Jinnie. Thank you, really.”

Flashing that toothy grin of his, Hyunjin tugs you to lie back down with him and tilts your head up to press a much more accurate kiss to your lips. “I meant what I said before, ___,” he murmurs, “I don’t know what to do without you, and I know we only get to see each other once a month but I can’t keep living as just friends. You’re so much more than that. And I hope all the pictures we add from now on will show this new chapter of our lives. If not, well, then I guess I’ll just burn the book.”

“Are you asking me to be Kkami’s official poop-picker-upper?”

“Yes. Wait— what? No!”

You break into a fit of laughter, only to be interrupted with him pinching your side and causing you to let out a yelp. “Hey!” You bark, jumping closer to him and away from his hand until, finally, you give in to your self-indulgence and go right on ahead in swinging a leg over his hips and pinning him beneath you.

“You ruined my serious love speech, ___,” Hyunjin pouts, face scrunched up at you.

“I’m sorry, baby, go on.”

You pause, blinking slowly at him. He blinks back, the silence in the air weighing in heavily as both of your two brain cells bounce around trying to figure out what did you just call him?

“Never mind,” Hyunjin says, voice a low rumble of thunder as he reaches for your hips and easily flips positions, “I think you’re on the same boat.”

You laugh, tilting your head back and eyeing him indignantly. Fuck, he looks unfairly delectable hovering above you.

“Okay, how many more times do I have to tell you I love you for you to formally ask me to be your girlfriend, stupid?” You scowl, bringing your hands to cradle his neck, thumbs brushing delicately against his jaw.

“Call me baby again and we’ll see about making that happen.”

You raise a brow, tugging his face closer by the chain of his necklace. “You’re lucky it’s Christmas, baby.”

1K notes · View notes

themanicgalaxy · 3 years ago

Text

SPN 7X12 Time After Time

oh boy

OH NO NO JODY

Also I wanted to mention that Smile and be fine feels deeply integral to Dean in a bad way, and also that it's important the episode after Bobby's death revolved around fatherhood

god I miss Cas

I miss not sibling angst

goddammit Dean

A TIME TRAVEL EPISODE?

...he's...literally a mom

SAM IS SO GRUMPY

ah mummified body

aw she misses Bobby too

"call me after" aw

"Aw I feel bad we didn't get her anything"

Sam: bruh I'd rather it be porn

...Dean watches anime

AHAHA DEAN

he always loses

"no relation" LMAO

ah he steals time

"are you gonna look up more anime or are you strictly into Dick now"

SAM

AHHAAH

"don't worry we'll pretend this never happened" aka "I'll let you be the smart brother"

I LOVE THIS

...wait

yep Robbie Thompson episode

Bi Dean Truther Robbie

ah fedora dude

barely ten minutes of context huh oh

WELCOME TO 1944 BITCH

He did try FBI

ah yes the gun

HSDFIP AHAHA THE BADGE IS 68 YEARS OUT OF DATE

PASHFAIS ah yes just tell the truth

he meets a hunter from the 1940s

Eliot Ness! (he took down al capone)

DEAN'S FACE

"he disappeared in a ball of red light" "yeah that tends to happen"

MOM JODY

DEAN

DEAN YOU'RE NOT HELPING

FUCKING NERD

"hunting the same thing in different centuries" oo that's good

kills in threes

aH HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND AWESOME

DEAN YOU FUCKING NERD

HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THE SLANG

HE TRIES A COMEBACK IT DOESN'T WORK

GAS IS FOUR DOLLARS A GALLON

only drivers say that

bobby is INDEED a hoarder

HE LIKES PLAYING DRESS UP

HE LOOKS GOOD THO

THEY DON'T GET WHAT AWESOME MEANS

"idjits" aww

ah the ring, they zoomed up on it before too

ooo the working in two different centuries I LOVE IT

summon a god vs kill one

FUCKING N E R D

NO IT's NOT LIKE IN THE MOVIES

NO LOCKPICKS JUST KICK DOOR DOWN

the lettuce?

hero worship

"came from the war"

LMAO GOOD COP BAD COP

holy SHIT DEAN LOOKS GOOD

ah rufus

ah yes the drinking

and the little bits of yourself you leave in places

ah this is after al capone

just did it cuz damn

"enjoy it while you have it it's clarity" jeez

ah the trunk of weaponry

whoops

THE MIX UP OF SLANG

LMAO SHE'S BOBBY

I love her

yep...they're stuck

AH HE SENDS A MESSAGE

ah his wife

eliot ness is gone!

bruh just

be straightforward ONE time

god I love the vibe

Bobby's old stuff?

so they find it

aww Sam

"do I have to use my mom voice" LMAO

and he does what he thinks Sam would notice

and carves his name

oh that's so good

"you asked for it, YOUNG MAN"

I FUCKINKG LOVE THIS

SAM'S SO EXCVITED

IT'S SO CUTE

FUCKING NERDS

ah shit the two timelines

tHE CLOCKS STOPPED!

THEY GOT THE TIME TOO!!

he gets Dean??

AH FUCK THAT GOT ME

"I'M A GOD" o touchy

ur doing great sweetie

"I do it for you" yes so helpful

i mean I understand being lonely sucks

gottem

HEY UNTOUCHABLE awww

"your future is covered in thick black ooze" yes but also the empty

1. being scattered throughout. Like the idea of when you're a human being, bits of yourself are scattered throughout everywhere, in spaces and in time(the lady that said "idjits"). I really like that.

2. two timelines. They went HARD into the whole thing with same thing, two timelines, all working together. That was so enjoyable to see come together. The clock stop was set up too!

and Eliot Ness calling Dean untouchable was adorable. Also him doing it after he did the thing with Al Capone, the whole "it's clarity" that's. that's interesting. it's a last resort, there's nowhere to go

3. MOM JODY. I just think that was so cute

4. holy shit Dean looked good holy shit holy shit. Like the 40s look? good.

bro I hope he's ok tho

5. Sam was so excited! Seeing genuine puppy Sam was so nice

6. being lonely. The whole wandering and being lonely, but killing because you're being forgotten, but also killing because you want to but

and also everywhere through time

that monster was Important

holy shit the next one is Emma

#pawswatchesspn #7X12 Time After Time #this was highly enjoyable #I loved it so much

1 note · View note

mothmansbutt · 4 years ago

Text

Supernatural S4 Review

Still trudging on in my effort to marathon all of supernatural, which I havent seen before so if you send me spoilers please don't

Highlights of season 4:

WE GOT PLOT, BOYS

Cas!!! But he's grumpy

This season was better. I wish we had more monsters because its kind of Whats Wrong With Sam Winchester Hour now

Every time sam did something I was like really sam???????? Really???????

I wanted him to be a little evil as a treat but now I have regrets

Every season I think "i can't believe you made me watch 'x' with my own two eyes" this time it was the life-size suicidal teddy bear

Can't believe the writer made self-insert fanfiction in his own show

I will never get over their pronunciation of Samhain i will never be forgiving anyone for this i screamed through the whole episode

Ruby is evil. We know. Next

Loved the hilarity of the yellow fever episode until they... dragged a ghost behind their car with a chain... yeah

I'm so sad about Jimmy Novak bruh. Why are all angels inherently assholes

They blinded and then killed the psychic lady and I should have known but I'm still disappointed

Where is Ellen??? Where's my mom

Family Remains was actually kinda scary good job guys

OOF big feelings in this season. Big dean crying hours. Yall this one did not go down well

OVERALL

Sam you're a fucking disgrace wipe the blood off your mouth you're embarrassing me

Season 1 Season 5

#spn #s4 #i did actually like this season so much more but its also like #at what cost???#i wish we could go back to the silly monster days #we're in angst land now #supernatural

6 notes · View notes

angelicorn · 5 years ago

Text

Chapter 4 Reactions “Why do the dementors look like crusty labias?” -My sister upon witnessing a close up of the whispers.

Chapter 1-2 Reactions

Chapter 3 Reactions

I present to you my reactions to playing FF7R for the first time. I voice recorded myself as I played through each chapter. I finished the game and will slowly be writing down most of my commentary as I played. My sister, who has no prior exposure to the lore of FF7 (sequels, movies, novellas, etc.), watched me as well and I will be including her fresh perspective here as well. I also use the word “bitch” affectionately. I call my besties by that word so if you are easily offended, don’t read.

If you hate any other ship beside your own, don’t read this. In this particular reaction, my sister and I comment jokingly at the interactions between Jessie/Cloud and Cloud/Tifa. Our reactions and preferences aren’t an attempt at disregarding any other ships out there. They’re our opinions and will never be determining factors on the validity of your personal ship. With that said, here are our reactions!

Ok, fuck, we’re going to have to sneak out and go topside with Jessie... (sis: He’s gonna fuck her.. me: He’s going topside of the plate! Not topside of her! sis: I know, I just wanna piss you off.)

*When Cloud says all SOLDIERS receive training to operate motorbikes* Sis: If he’s lying about being a SOLDIER, why are his eyes the color of mako if all SOLDIER bois have them? me: that’s why normal people have to finish the game to find out.

Sis: JESSIE IS A HELLA THOT, SHE’D BE YOUR BEST FRIEND. Me:... Why can I totally picture that?

*Cloud tells Jessie to get off after Jessie begins narrating themselves as a couple* Sis: Do guys believe girls think this attitude is cool? Yuck.

Jessie isn’t deterred by Cloud’s foul attitude at all. You go, bitch!

*When Roche appears* Sis: uhhh... why is adult Demyx in this game? me: He doesn’t look--oh. HAHA

Cloud is so badass.

Sis: WTF IS THIS PLACE SO NICE FOR? PEOPLE BE UP HERE LIVING COMFORTABLE WHILE PEOPLE DOWN BELOW DON’T EVEN HAVE PAVED ROADS, HOW DO THESE RICH BITCHES SLEEP AT NIGHT KNOWING THERE’S CHILDREN LIVING IN SHIT CONDITIONS RIGHT UNDER THEIR FEET?!?!?!!! ME: Tricia, relax. It’s just a game. Sis: Sorry, the social worker side of me is coming out.

The music is sooo pretty. I need to learn this on guitar.

Her house is so fucking cute.

You know what? Cloud’s kinda like a cat. Cute, but can be total bitches.

Does Jessie’s mom approve of Biggs for Jessie...? (Sis: I approve of Biggs for anybody. He should be the main character. Cloud’s “tew kewl for yew” attitude is a turn off. He’s hot though, so...)

I know I have to sneak into the room, but I wanna hear more of their conversation! (Sis: No time to fuck around, bitch. Get what you need and leave, here, let me do it. Me: No, no, you can play the whole game on your own when I’m done.)

Oh shit, Jessie has a very sweet side to her. I love this bitch.

She’s doing this cause all bc of her dad. Man, Jessie’s so special.

Cloud, Biggs, & Wedge are bros.

*gasp* IS THIS THE PROMISE SCENE? (Sis: Tifa’s so cute! Cloud’s got a lame rat tail, ew. At least he isn’t too much of a dick.)

Why are they showing so much cloti content every chapter??? (Sis: bc obviously he’s been crushing on her since they were lil churrens)

Sis: Cloud looks like he get emotional and teary eyed every time he thinks of Tifa. Like his eyes change in size and...kinda change in color. Like.. them bitches starting to look blue. Me: *gasps* I kinda see it. Definitely his eyes get bigger... Sis: He’s such a typical haole, blonde hair, blue eyes, he got the baby red flush on his face too, soooooo cute! me: You were literally shitting on him a few minutes ago, what changed?

Sis: You’re like one hit KO-ing everyone. Did you fucking over level yourself again? Me: I...think I did. Sis: This is why you need to learn restraint.

*Wedge gets bit* Sis: Wedge is the MVP bruh

Sis: You have to fight adult Demyx again? Me: Clearly his name is Roche. His name is right there.

Holy shit, Wedge really is fucking MVP

Sis: Who are the hazmat suit lookin’ bitches? Me: The rest of AVALANCHE. Sis: There’s more of them??? Me: Did you really think all of AVALANCHE was just Jessie, Biggs, Wedge, Barret and Tifa?

If you don’t let your friends look at your singed ass, you’re not truly friends.

Cloud is chuckling! Sis: Feel, don’t conceal, bitch! LET IT GO~

Sis: Is grandma over there hitting the guard?

*Cloud mentions Jessie’s dad* Sis: Wow, did Cloud fucking just--fuck you Cloud, breaking bro code. Snitches get stitches.

Did they have Jessie strapped up with Biggs so that Cloud won’t talk to her about her dad during the parachute dive? LOOOOL

Biggs wrapping his hands around her waist, bruh.

Holy shit Jessie is giving me anxiety.

Biggs’ face nearly collided with Cloud’s I’m dying.

“pay you in full” Sis: they’re def gonna fuck tonight. Ohh my gosh, but what if she tells Tifa?

Sis: yeah Cloud, why you gotta be such a hardass?

Wedge’s smile is so precious, we need to protect him.

Sis: We’re on our way to fuck bitches~

Oh my gosh, Biggs is a sensitive guy secretly. So cute!

“Life’s a stage and love’s a play.” Wedge, who hurt you? Was it Jessie? Let me go talk to her for you.

Wedge is a cat mom? Maybe that’s why Wedge is so attached to Cloud. Bc Cloud is a grumpy cat lol.

OH SHIT. Did she just plant one on his cheek?

Sis: She wants his dick. She’s thirsty. Me: Wedge warned us about her. She’s just playing a game! Sis: Then ditch the bitch. Me: When you say bitch, it sounds mean! I don’t want to be mean to her, but I don’t want to give her hope. Decent guys don’t lead bitches on. Sis: You were trying to get into Tifa’s room at the start of the last chapter, you freak. Decent, my ass.

I’m sorry, Jessie, I love you, bitch, but...not happening. Sis: She’s so unfazed by it! See? She’s peachy beachy. She probably has other options. Now let’s see if Biggs is home! Me: I need to see what the other option would lead to.

*We paused the game and watched the no promises option* She legit pretended to be excited about making pizza for us and she changes up on us like that with her “psyche!” bull shit, oh my goshhhh, she’s playing the game! Sis: Love’s a play, life’s the stage.

Sis: Biggs is a neat freak AND handsome AND sensitive? Throw Cloud tf away. Make Biggs the main character.

Do people just not lock their doors in this hood? Sis: If you don’t have valuable shit, there’s nothing to steal.

Tifa is in Cloud’s room! Sis: Stop trying to get them to fuck. Tifa’s not gonna let them fuck until they’re official official. She’s too classy for that.

He’s trying to get her to open up! He wants to spend more time with her! Ugh, He’s trying so hard to be aloof and caring at the same time!

Sis: She won’t share all her secrets. She has a fucking punching bag in her room, she’s strong enough to handle her issues without leaning on no fuckboi. See, look she’s changing the subject. She won’t even sit directly next to him. Cloud scares the bitch, why would she wanna get close to him after he tried to kill Jeffrey. Me: Johnny. Are you sure you haven’t played FF7 before? Sis: If I did, I wouldn’t be asking 21 fucking questions every 10 minutes.

Sis: *sarcastic* Wow, I love how he quietly says good night to her right before she shuts the door, like he can’t fucking say it to her face properly. He’s a coward! Me: Everyone is shitting on Cloud! Sis: He’s frustrating! Me: He’s traumatized! Sis: From what...? me: *realizing I may have spoiled the story for her* let’s play and find out, shall we? Sis: Woooow...

*confused bc this wasn’t in the original* Whaaaat is going on? Sis: Why do the dementors look like crusty labias? Me: Can we fucking play this game in peace?

Sis: Holy shit, a hoard of labia dementors!

This is fucking weird. I need to use Tifa to stagger these bitches.

THEY STOLE OUR GODDESS, FUCK NO. Sis: They ain’t do shit on her. She’s strong af, look at how little damage they’re doing to her.

HOLY SHIT JESSIE NO. Sis: damn, maybe if he fucked her, this wouldn’t have happened. me: you’re joking right? sis: obviously. but then, why are you laughing at my joke, huuuh?

Cloud is still tryna be cool, carrying Jessie bridal style. Like um, Barret and Tifa could have easily carried her bridal style into the bar themselves. Stop stealing the show all the time.

You think Tifa’s a little jealous? sis: no, only insecure girls would think that. Jessie can’t walk and Cloud was only trying to help. Barret would probably throw her over his shoulder if he tried to help her up and that’d probably fuck up her leg more. He has a fucking gun for an arm, tf is he gonna do to help? Cloud’s just being a decent guy. A decent guy who won’t try to go into their crush’s room at night without being invited, weirdo. Me: *I’m speechless, but grinning*...

Sis: See? He can tell Tifa’s nervous. I honestly couldn’t tell at all. And he’s telling her to breathe. Jessie was clearly in distress. Tifa was too, but we couldn’t tell cuz a bitch is strong. Cloud pays attention to her too, why’d she be jealous for? You’re the insecure bitch, LOOOL, just kidding. Me: Woooow, you make a good point, but you had to use me to get there? You biiiitch!

Barret said the line! ohhh my goshhhh, my heart.

sis: “play it cool” he says, when he’s standing fucking over 6 feet tall, buff as fuck with a gun arm, Cloud with a bigass sword, and Tifa looking fly as fuck. They stick out from the rest of these normies, talk about obvious.

This concludes our reactions for chapter 4!

Just a little context, my sister is studying in social work and aims to be a social worker in a few years while currently working in an office for her college that handles campus recycling, promoting eco-friendly alternatives and hosting events that promote the reduction of waste. She loves that the story is about people trying to rescue the planet and plans on playing this game herself! We are very close and don’t mind being a little mean to each other! It’s all in good fun. The whole insecure commentary my sister made was due to my personal issues I had experienced in a long time relationship I had where I caught my boyfriend of 5 years cheating on me with one of my closest friends. I bare no ill will, however, that experience left me with an aversion to dating seriously. I recognize that this incident left me with insecurity issues and always found my self questioning the sincerity of people’s actions. My sister claims that Cloud was just being a decent person helping Jessie, while I saw it as something worth being jealous over. Having my sister watch along and reacting with me is helping me view this story from an objective, unbiased perspective where it isn’t tainted by my own experiences. It’s really interesting and refreshing and an eye opening experience. I’d love to read up on any other gameplay reaction as well, so send them my way!

#final fantasy 7 remake #Final Fantasy VII Remake #FF7R #ff7r spoilers #ffvii remake #FF7R Reactions #cloti #cloud x tifa

36 notes · View notes

chickensarentcheap · 4 years ago

Text

Best of Me -Chapter 47

Warnings: none

Tagging: @innerpaperexpertcloud, @alievans007, @c-a-v-a-l-r-y, @ocfairygodmother

He takes the three oldest out to breakfast before school. It’s an attempt to kill two birds with one stone; spend time with them before heading to The Kimberley for four days, and to try and repair some hurt feelings. There’s still some lingering animosity being in those little bodies; moments when they remind of him the time he’d ‘taken mommy away and kept her away forever’ and how it felt like he was ‘gone for centuries’. It’s been almost seven months since he both took the McMann job and -regrettably- gotten his wife mixed up in it. He hadn’t realized at the time just how damaging that entire experience would be for the kids. Having both their parents away, and then sending them away with Ovi; staying in hotels and eating crappy food and travelling through four states before winding up at a stranger’s place in Oklahoma.

It had been done to protect them; keep them away from home and hopefully keep McMann’s people from finding them. But he’s never actually told them THAT. The nightmares caused by the knowledge of him going after bad guys had been bad enough. Telling them that the bad guys had been after them would have meant years...if not decades...of intensive -and costly- therapy. Ovi had tried his best to keep things calm and relaxed; attempting to convince the kids that they were on an adventure and trying to fill their days with new sights and new experiences. He’d grown up a lot in those two weeks. Suddenly responsible for four lives on top of his own; innocent little being totally dependent on him to keep them safe. But he’d come through; he’d done exactly what he’d been told to and had come back with everyone happy (relatively), healthy, and unscathed.

But despite Tyler's best intentions and efforts, it had negatively affected them. Especially HIS prolonged absence. Things weren’t magically better the moment they were reunited in the driveway at their old place in Colorado. Even with all the hugs and kisses and the tears of relief and happiness, the kids had been angry. Furious that he’d had the nerve to not only take their mother away from them, but that he’d stayed away for an uncharacteristically long time. For two weeks they all refused to sleep in their own rooms; five bodies all shoved into the queen sized bed in the master. They’d alternate nights when it came to bad dreams; no evening passing without one waking up kicking and screaming and sometimes wetting the bed or throwing up. Night terrors that consisted of the ‘bad guys’ coming to the house and either kidnapping them or doing horrible things to their mom and dad in front of them.

Once they moved to Australia things began to calm down. In the kids’ minds they were on the ‘other side of the world’, which put them far enough away from the guys that it may as well have been in another universe. And once the initial hostility of being uprooted from the old house and their old lives wore off, they had begun to thrive. Happier in their new home and in their new country.

He herds them into a smaller family restaurant in the downtown core; the fingers of one hand hooked in the back of both boys’ t-shirts, a hand on the back of Millie’s head. Always keeping them within a couple inches of him and his eyes constantly surveilling everything around them. Aware of every car that passes by or door that slams too loudly. Every pedestrian that walks past them on the sidewalk or lingers in store entrances or on front porches; defenses up when any time he feels as if someone is paying too much attention to them or comes a little too close. All of his senses running on high and his instincts sharp; his brain constantly processing everything and anything that happens around them. Functioning as both old Tyler and new Tyler; the two managing to coexist, at least temporarily. He’s confident in his skills and his abilities; he knows he’s able to keep them safe and that if a threat does arise, old Tyler will be one that reacts to it.

There’s an empty booth at the very back of the restaurant; enabling him to be able to sit facing the door. And the moment they arrive at it the bickering begins; who gets to sit next to the window, who gets to to order first when the waitress arrives, demands that no one orders the exact same thing because ‘that’s copying and copying is annoying’.

It’s surreal how drastically the direction of your life can change. Almost seven years ago he was standing in that squalid apartment in Dhaka surrounded by street thugs; mentally deciding in which order he was going to take them out in order to rescue Ovi. Now he’s breaking up fights over who gets to sit next to him and which napkin and cutlery belongs to who. You don’t know patience...true, unwavering patience...until you have kids. It doesn’t matter how much you pride yourself in how calm and collected you are while on the job; surrounded by tension and danger. Because nothing...and no one...tests your nerves and your sanity quite like a dramatic and ‘extra’ almost six year old and two five year olds who find it impossible to sit still.

After a brief game of ‘guess the number I’m thinking of between one and ten’, everyone is finally settled. The waitress coming to take their drink order and leaving them with menus and crayons for the kids to use to colour on the paper tablecloth. A victorious Tanner sitting between him and the window, and TJ and Millie across from them; as far away from each other as possible on the small bench. They’ve been at odds since leaving the house, bitter with one another after they’d fought over who would be the last one to kiss mommy goodbye.

Tyler watches his daughter from across the table; amused -and slightly disheartened- by how much older she suddenly appears courtesy of the sullen, if not overly dramatic, expression. Her elbows resting on the table top and her chin planted in her upturned palms; eyes narrowed as she alternates between looking at the menu and glaring at her little brother as he has the nerve to entertain himself by creating a pyramid out of coffee creamers. ‘Little brother’ doesn’t adequately describe the kid; he’s only eleven months younger but has three inches and fifteen pounds on Millie. He’s tall and solid; all torso and long limbs.

He wants to tell his daughter to stop being so much like her mother, but nothing could be further from the truth. That expression, that steely glare, that attitude...it’s all him. And he sees the look of disgust she fixes on him when he removes his baseball hat and runs a hand through his hair. The top is starting to come in; he’ll take the clippers to the back and sides while he’s away.

“What?” He asks, and places the hat and his sunglasses on the bench beside him. “What’s that look for?”

“You’re not really growing that stupid hair cut back again, are you?”

He smirks. “What if I am? What if your mom likes my hair that way? Tanner has the same hair cut. Doesn’t look stupid on him.”

“And it’s not stupid anyway,” TJ pipes up. “It’s a bitchin’ haircut. I wish I had it.”

Tyler reaches across the table to lay the tip of his index finger against the tip of Millie’s nose, pressing lightly. “Why so grumpy?”

“I’m not grumpy,” she mumbles, and pushes his hand away.

“You look grumpy.”

“That’s just her face,” Tanner says, not even looking up from the game he plays on his dad’s phone.

“Bruh,” TJ grins. “That was savage. But so good. And so true.”

“When did you become the mean brother?” Tyler asks, playfully digging his elbow into his son’s side.

“She called me a bitch baby last night,” he explains. “Because I didn’t want to go into the woods without Ovi with us. We’re not supposed to go in there without an adult. Without your mommy or Ovi. But she wouldn’t listen.”

“You went in there by yourself?” he addresses his daughter.

“I stopped her,” Tanner says. “That’s why she called me a bitch baby.”

“Even though he tackled her,” TJ chimes in. “In the middle of the road! It was awesome. He’s not very big, but he’s strong as hell. Like mommy. Small but strong. Mommy can pick up both of us. At the same time!”

“I’m not THAT small,” Tanner frowns. “I’m almost as big as you, Teej.”

“On what planet? I got tons on you. Like daddy does on mommy. Daddy’s like a giant and mommy’s just tiny. But she scares me more than daddy does. She yells louder. A LOT louder.”

“I’m not scared of mommy,” Tanner says. “She’s nice to me because I listen to what she says. You just ignore her and then she gets mad and we all pay for it. If you’d just listen the first time…”

“Daddy doesn’t even listen the first time.” TJ points out.

“And then he wonders why she yells at him,” Tanner retorts. “‘Cause he annoys her.”

“I’m sitting right here,” Tyler reminds him. “When do I annoy your mom’?”

“All the damn time,” TJ sighs. “And then she gets bitchy. Like Millie. But Millie is way bitchier.”

“I’m not bitchy,” Millie scowls. “You’re just a dick.”

“Okay...enough…” Tyler pleads, noticing both the amused and appalled looks nearby diners are giving them. “Can not act like a normal family for once? What did I say before we came in here? What did I say not to do?”

“No fighting,” Tanner says.

“No bad words,” his brother adds.

“And no annoying each other. Or me. And you’re doing both. So stop. Or I’ll leave you all here and make you walk to school.”

“Mommy would be so pissed,” TJ declares. “She’d be mad at you forever.”

“She’s always mad at me about something. And you…” he looks at Millie. “...you know not to go into the woods alone. You want a dingo to eat you?”

“I wish one would,” TJ says, and then holds his hands up in surrender when his father glares at him. “She said she saw some lady go in there and told her to stop because that’s part of our house but the lady didn’t listen.”

“What lady?”

Both boys shrug.

“I didn’t see sh…” TJ bites his tongue when Tyler stares at him pointedly. “...I didn’t see anything. Ovi went and checked but there was no one there. He couldn’t find anyone. He said it was probably just someone trying to get to the beach without going on our property.”

Tyler turns his attention to Millie. “What lady?”

“There was no lady,” TJ insists. “No one else saw a lady.”

“I’m talking to your sister, you mind? What lady?”

“I don’t know,” Millie shrugs. “But there WAS a lady. I saw her. Just like I saw that guy in the Jeep in front of Salena’s house.”

“That’s not even her name,” TJ says. “She was lying to us. The whole time. That’s a shitty thing to do.”

Tyler frowns at him. “Excuse me?”

“A crappy thing to do. Sorry! It just came out. Maybe if you watched YOUR mouth around little ears….”

“How’d you like to walk to school?” he asks, then gives a polite smile and a nod of thanks to the waitress that refills his coffee and brings chocolate milk for the kids.

“You wouldn’t do it. Mommy would make you sleep on the couch forever.”

“I saw her daddy,” Millie insists, tone -and eyes- serious. “Remember how I saw that guy in the Jeep? Just like you did?”

He nods.

“Well I saw her too. Ovi asked me to get the mail so I did and that’s when I saw her and I tried to yell at her and stop her but she just ignored me. That’s why I tried to follow her and then Tanner stuck his nose in it.”

“Because we’re not allowed in the woods by ourselves,” Tanner informs her. “Daddy said when we moved there that we weren’t allowed because there’s bad things in there and we could end up hurt. Or dead. Do you want to end up dead? Because that’s how you end up dead.”

“That’s not how daddy almost ended up dead,” she points out.

“‘Cause the bad guys tried to kill daddy but didn’t,” TJ says. “Because Uncle Koen says daddy’s too stubborn to die. How do you know the lady wasn’t a bad person, Millie? She could have been a bad person and what would you have done? Nothing. She would have killed you.”

“Okay…” Tyler sighs heavily and runs a palm over his face. “...let’s NOT talk about bad guys and people dying. Or not dying. Just stop. What did the lady look like?”

“I still say there was no lady,” TJ grumbles.

“She kinda looks like Auntie Nik,” Millie says. “The same color of skin. Maybe a bit darker. But she had the same color hair and it was really long. She had it in a ponytail but it was still as long as mine.”

“You remember what she was wearing?”

“Of course I do. I notice things. She had on jeans and a black t-shirt and a green jacket like the one you have. And red shoes. Like purple ones that you bought mommy for Christmas.”

“Converse.”

“Yeah. Those ones! She had a pair of those on. She was kind of young. Maybe mommy’s age. Or a little younger.”

“Mommy’s old,” TJ declares. “She’s not young.”

“Don’t you EVER let her hear you say that,” Tyler warns. “And she’s not old. I’m older than she is.”

“Uncle Koen says you’re as old as Jesus Christ,” Tanner says. “The person. Not the swear word.”

Tyler smirks. “He did, did he?”

Tanner nods. “And mommy’s not old Teej.”

“She had all of us. She has to be.”

“Doesn’t mean she’s old because she had all of us. Just means her and daddy like to make babies. Doesn’t mean she’s old. Daddy’s old.”

“Excuse you,” Tyler nudges him with his elbow. “I’m only five years older than your mom is.”

“Your forty,” Millie points out. “That's super old. You have gray hair.”

“Because of you guys.”

“We don’t give your gray hair,” his daughter huffs.

“Mommy gave it to him,” TJ says. “‘Cause she’s a pain in daddy’s ass. That’s what he says all the time. That she’s a pain in his ass and drives him crazy. Right, daddy?”

“Don’t throw me under the bus.”

“You’re the one who said it! That mommy’s a pain in your ass. Uncle Koen said you’re lucky to have her. That she puts up with you. That tons of guys would want her and if you don’t, someone will take her off your hands and take her away.”

“He said that?”

“I don’t want some guy taking mommy away,” Tanner pouts. “I don’t want her leaving. She wouldn’t leave us, would she, daddy?”

“She would never...ever...leave you guys.”

“Then you better make sure no one steals her away,” Tanner says. “‘Cause I like the mom AND dad I have. I don’t want another mom or dad. That would suck, having another dad. He’d probably be some loser that doesn’t do cool stuff with us like you do.”

“He probably wouldn’t let me surf,” Millie adds, and sips her milk. “Or take us camping and fishing. And he’d probably be mean to us. And to mommy. You can’t let someone take her, daddy. I don’t want another dad. I want you.”

“No one is going to steal your mom away,” he assures them.

“The guy at the grocery store likes her.” TJ says. “The one that drives the Mustang and has the man bun. The one that called her a MILF. Whatever that means.”

Tyler frowns “Someone called her that?”

“The guy at the grocery store.” TJ sighs. “Mommy told him to F off. ‘Cause he got too handsy.”

“He what?”

“He touched her butt,” Millie says. “He said it was an accident, but I think he meant it. Mommy told him to F off and that she’d tell her husband and that you’d go there and break him in half. Could you really do that? Break him in half? ‘Cause I want to see it if you do it.”

“Of course he can break someone in half!” Tanner exclaims. “He killed somebody with a rake!”

TJ frowns. “That’s our last name.”

“It’s also a garden tool, dumb ass,” Millie huffs. “And it wasn’t one person, Tanner. It was two.”

“How do you guys even know that?” Tyler asks. “Because I know mommy wouldn’t tell you.”

“Ovi was telling Uncle Koen and Nathan,” Millie replies. “We just overheard it. Is it true? Did you kill two people with a rake?”

“Maybe…”

“I would have liked to have seen that,” TJ says. “Are you going to kill the douche at the grocery store? For touching mommy’s butt?”

“Maybe I should.”

“Daddy could totally kill that loser,” Millie enthuses. “I think you should do it. Break him in half. Can we watch?”

“No one is breaking anyone in half. Or killing anyone. What is wrong with you?”

“But you could, right?” she inquires. “Break him in half?”

“Of course he could!” TJ exclaims. “Look at the size of him! 0ne of his hands is bigger than your whole head. And you have a big ass head.”

“And look how big his arms are!” Tanner adds, and attempts to wrap both hands around one of his father’s biceps. “Look! They’re huge! I can’t even put my hands around one! He could totally break that guy in half!”

“I wish you would,” TJ says. “No one touches mommy like that. Only you’re allowed. We can touch her too, but that’s different because she’s our mom. She gave birth to us. Me and you at the same time, Tanner. However THAT worked.”

“Everyone knows how babies come out,” Tanner informs his brother. “The doctor opens the mommy’s tummy and pulls the baby out, right daddy?”

“Sometimes, I guess. That’s not how you guys got out, but…”

“How come TJ got to go first?” Tanner asks. “How come I didn’t get to go first?”

“I have no idea. It just worked out that way.”

“And how come I was by myself?” Millie inquires. “Why didn't I have a partner?”

“Because your brothers are twins. You’re not. You were alone.”

“You couldn’t have given me a twin? Like asked God or whoever or whatever?”

“That’s not how it works.”

“I’m so confused,” she sighs. “I don’t even know HOW I got in mommy’s tummy, never mind how I got out. And I couldn’t even have company in there? That’s some bullshit.”

The waitress chuckles as she arrives with their food. “You’ve got your hands full here, dad.”

“You think? And this is them behaving.”

“It could be worse,” TJ says. “There’s two more of us at home. A baby brother and a baby sister. Like, a baby, baby. Like tiny. Really tiny.”

“She sounds like a kitten when she cries,” Tanner adds. “‘Cause she’s so small. And she looks like mommy. We look like daddy. Not Addie though.”

“How do babies get out of a mommy’s tummy?” Millie inquires. “Daddy won’t tell us.”

The older woman laughs, then pats Tyler on the shoulder. “I think I need to bring you an entire POT of coffee.”

****

“How come we don’t get to come?” Millie asks, as they walk hand in hand down the path at the back of the school, the boys already running off to play soccer with friends. “How come we have to stay here but you and mommy get to go away?”

“Because sometimes, moms and dads need to be alone.”

“Why?”

“Don’t you want to go and play with your friends?” Tyler nods in the direction of a group of girls gathered on the playground, calling to Millie and waving her over.

“No. I’d rather stay with you. I can see my friends whenever. And when you leaver, I won’t get to see you for a while.”

“I’m not going to be gone that long,” he reminds her, and tightens the elastic holding her braided ponytail together.

“Long enough. Remember when you said you wouldn’t go away again? When we were at our old house and we had to go away with Ovi and then you were home when we got back? Remember?”

“I remember.’

“You said you wouldn’t go away again. And now you’re going away. And you went away two weeks ago! To visit Uncle Koen.”

“I was gone for one night.”

“Still,” she sighs as she lets go of his hand, then crosses her arms over her chest and she looks up at him. “We still miss you. Even if it’s just one night. You said at our old place that you wouldn’t go away again.”

“This is different.”

“How?”

Because that was for work. This is because your mom and I need some time alone together. Adults sometimes need that. And mommy and I? We desperately need that.”

“Why?”

“Look, when you’re married and have kids, you’ll understand. But right now, you’re only five…”

She glares up at him.

“..almost six, and you don’t need to know how or why or any of that. Just mommy and I need to be alone and that’s all that you need to know. And we’re going to go and be alone and we’ll be back on Tuesday.”

“Why so long?”

“It’s four days. That’s not long.”

“But you said…”

“I know what I said. And I told you, this is different. Back then was about work, and this is about spending time with your mom. Adult time. No kids allowed.”

“You’re not going to bring me back a baby brother are you?”

He chuckles. “That’s not how it works, kiddo.”

“Are you and mommy going to MAKE me a baby brother? ‘Cause I’d rather a puppy. Or another sister. Please not a brother.”

“We can’t make you a brother OR a sister. We can’t make any more babies.”

“How come? If you made five of us already, how come you can’t make more?”

“Because we can’t.”

“You’re only allowed five? Is that a rule? You can’t have more than that? What if Addie had had a twin? That would have been six! And what if Austin was still here? Does that mean Addie wouldn’t be allowed to be here? Because she’d be number six.”

Tyler frowns. “You ask a lot of questions.”

“I’m curious about the world. Mommy says I’m a free spirit. I don’t know what that means, but it sounds cool.”

“I think your mom’s right.”

“So if Austin was alive, I’d have an older brother right?”

Tyler nods.

“Better than younger brothers. Older better are better. Would he like me?”

He runs a hand over her hair. “I think so. He’d be a lot older than you, though. He’d be sixteen.”

“Do I look like him?”

“Kind of. I guess. I dunno.”

“I bet I’d like him. I had a dream about him the other night.”

Tyler arches a brow. “You did?”

Millie nods. “We were surfing together. I didn’t even know who he was at first because I’ve never seen a picture of him. I only know what you told me about him. But said who he saw and that he was my older brother and that he was there watching me. I was kind of scared at first. When he said that. But then he smiled and he ruffled my hair like you do, and everything was okay. I knew he wasn’t there to scare me or hurt me.”

He merely nods, fighting back the tears that threaten and swallowing around the lump of emotion that sits in his throat. It isn’t so much grief anymore; he’s moved on with his life and became a dad again and can’t imagine NOT having Millie or her siblings in his life. It’s more her view of what happened. It’s innocent and it’s pure and she has no idea that if Austin were still here, she probably wouldn't exist.

“Mommy gets sad when I ask about him,” Millie continues. “Even though he wasn’t hers. I think she’s sad for you. She said that he was still here, I probably wouldn’t be. Or any of us kids. That you and her probably never would have met. Is that true?”

“It’s a possibility. I like to think I still would have met her and fell in love with her and married her. And had all you guys.”

“Do you ever wish that he was still here and we weren’t?”

“You know what…” Tyler scoops her up with one arm and settles her on his hip, then presses a kiss to her forehead. “I would never...EVER...wish that in a million years. Because I love your mommy and I love you and your brothers and sister. I can’t imagine NOT having any of you.”

“Do you miss him though?”

“Sometimes. I used to miss him all the time. And then you came along and I got to be a dad again and it made a lot easier to deal with. And if weren’t here? I’d be pretty sad. I’d miss you a lot.”

“How much?”

“A hell of a lot.”

“I’d miss you too. I always miss you. I wish you weren’t going away. AND taking mommy with you. Won’t you and mommy miss us?”

“Of course we will.”

“Won’t you be bored without us?”

“I think your mom and I will find things to keep us busy.”

“Like what?”

“Like things you don’t need to know about.”

“How come there’s so many things I don’t need to know about yet?”

“Because you’re just a kid. And mommy and I are adults who do adult things. And you don’t need to know what those are.”

“Please no babies,” she begs.

“I already told you…”

“I don’t get why you can’t have more.”

“Amelia…”

She giggles and pulls his baseball cap off, then puts it back on backwards. “Daddy…”

“I’m not telling you where babies come from or how they’re made. But nice try though.”

“I’m nothing if not persistent.”

He laughs. “I think there’s more of your mom in you than people realize. This lady that you saw…”

“I DID see her. She was real. I swear.”

“I believe yo. And when you get home from school. I want you to tell the neighbor about it. About what you saw and what she looked like, okay?”

“Don’t make me talk to her,” Millie pleads. “I don’t like her.”

“I know you don’t. But I still want you to tell her. Please? For me?”

“Fine,” she sighs. “I’ll do it for you. But only for you, daddy.”

“Thank you,” he presses a kiss to her cheek. “Bell’s going to ring soon. You better go.”

“No. Not yet,” she wraps her arms tightly around his neck, clinging desperately to him when he attempts to put her down. “I don’t want you to go yet.”

“I’m only going to be gone for four days,” Tyler promises. “And no bad guys. Just me and mommy.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

“And you’ll come back Tuesday for sure?”

“For sure.”

“I’ll miss you, daddy,” she pulls back and kisses him as she holds his face in her hands. “I’ll miss you so much.”

“It’s only four days,” he reminds her.

“I don’t care if it’s one day. I’ll still miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too.” He lays a hand on the back of her head and places his lips against her brow.

“You’ll bring mommy back, yeah?”

“No. I’m going to leave her there with her new husband.”

Millie frowns. “That’s not nice. You’d miss mommy if she was gone.”

“I would,” he agrees. “I’d miss her more than you could ever possibly understand. Now go. Go and see your friends.” He sets her on the ground, then shrugs her backpack off his shoulder and hands it to her. “See you Tuesday.”

“For sure Tuesday?”

“One hundred percent for sure.”

“Okay,” she says, and then wraps her arms tightly around his legs before scampering off towards the playground.

“Hey Amelia!” he calls to her, and she stops and turns to look at him. “Don’t let anyone dull your sparkle!”

A wide, brilliant smile spreads from ear to ear, and he can see those blue eyes sparkle from her stands. “I won’t!” she promises, and then hurries off to join her friends.

****

“You’re worried aren’t you.”

Briefly looking away from the road, he glances over at her as she sits in the passenger seat, watching him intently. Their flight leaves in half an hour; hiring the same old SASR buddy that he’d recruited when he’d gone to see Koen. It’s safer that way if someone is keeping tabs on them; no paper trail, no names on flight manifestos, no record of them ever boarding a flight and heading to The Kimberley. Once in Broome he’d rent a vehicle under a fake name and pay by cash. Anything that has to be done to keep someone...anyone...off their trail.

They’d be wide open targets there; the land vast and barren and unforgiving. And while he’d have the upper hand both knowing the landscape and having the confidence to use it to his advantage, it’s still not a fight he wants to engage in. Guys like Mahajan don’t just send one person, they send an army of them. If he was alone, he wouldn’t think twice about engaging. But when there’s someone else relying on you to keep them safe, it’s a whole other ball game. It raises the stakes; makes everything much more dangerous and dire.

“You’ve been really quiet,” Esme says, as she retrieves a pair of aviator style sunglasses from her purse and slips them onto her face.

True to her word, she’d managed to track down a yellow tank top and a pair of tattered and torn jeans shorts; almost identical to the outfit she’d been wearing when he’d first laid eyes on her. She’s changed since then. They both have. The piercings long gone and her hair six inches shorter. She’s curvier now; hips wider, breasts fuller, ass and legs thicker. She’s carried five babies inside of that little baby, after all. HIS babies. And she’s more beautiful now that she had been back then. And he’d never thought that would be possible.

“Are you okay?” she asks. “You’ve been like this since you got back from your time with the kids.”

“I’m fine. Just haven’t had much to say.”

She’s used to it. Even after nearly seven years he’s very much the strong and silent type at times. But there’s usually something behind it now; no longer quiet because he’s busy building up walls to protect himself.

“This isn’t your normal quiet,” she remarks. “How you get when you’re not feeling chatty. This is your ‘thinking too much’ kind of quiet. I know you, Tyler. Your different moods. I know your different forms of quiet. It’s all in your face; on your face. I’ve only spent nearly seven years trying to sort them all out.”

He smirks. “Anyone ever tell you that YOU think too much?”

“You’ve only been telling me that nearly every day since we met. I know something’s wrong.”

“There’s A LOT wrong,” he reminds her. “A hell of a lot.”

“I’m not talking about all of that and you know it. Did something happen this morning? When you were with the kids? Did you see something? Hear something?”

“I’m just quiet. Nothing happened. I took them for breakfast, dropped them off at school, that’s it.”

Fuck. He knows full well that he should tell her about what Millie had seen. It will only come back to bite him in the ass somehow. The truth always gets out. Always. Whether it’s a week from now, a month from now, even years from now. He doesn’t even know WHY he does it. Why his initial reaction is to always keep things from her. Whether it’s that overwhelming and sometimes all consuming need to protect her from anything and everything or the fear of putting too much worry and stress on her plate. Or maybe it’s just an old habit he can’t shake; years of bottling shit up and letting it eat away at him.

But instead of just fessing up, he brings up the first thing that comes to mind.

“Did you know our kids know I killed someone with a garden rake?”

Esme laughs. “What?”

“They brought it up at breakfast. About me killing two people with a garden rake.”

“Well I know I didn’t tell them. I try NOT to talk about what you did for a living. Or what you DO for a living. I’m so confused. Do we talk about it in past or present tense?”

The way she cocks her head to the side, the way her eyes are slightly narrowed...that’s all Tanner. He’s seen that expression so many times on their boy. Usually reserved for when someone has said something so incredibly stupid that he can’t wrap his head around it. Millie’s insanely smart, but he’s even more so. He’s brilliant and he’s crafty and he’s sneaky in that ‘under the radar, no one will ever expect it’ way. There’s a lot of his mother in that kid. A hell of a lot.

“It’s what I do,” he reasons. “It’s what I’ve gone back to you. It’s what I am.”

“It’s not who you are,” she gently argues. “It’s part of who you are. There’s a difference. Is that what’s bugging you? That they’re starting to realize just what you do? They were going to find out sooner or later, Tyler. And all they think you do is go and get good people away from bad people. That’s the extent of it right now. And they know sometimes you have to hurt the bad people. Sometimes you even have to kill them,” she shrugs. “It is what it is.”

“They’re kids.”

“They’re smart kids. Insanely smart. All three of them. TJ has the dumb ass act down pat, but he’s a smart little bugger. When you actually sit down and talk to him, he’s like talking to an adult. He has shit in his head that blows MY mind. He’s like you; he keeps it all under the surface and uses it when he has to.”

“Is that some roundabout way of calling me a dumb ass?” he teases.

“You are far from dumb. But people underestimate you, too. They always have. They see the muscles and the tattoos and the scars and they immediately think bad ass. That you’re all brawn and no brains. Yet you’re both. And THAT’S what makes you dangerous.”

He grins. “I’m totally the guy your parents told you to stay away from when you’re growing up, aren’t I.”

“You so are,” she laughs. “You’re my father’s worst nightmare. He would have warmed up to you once he got to know you. He would have at least given you a chance; not like everyone else. But I would have brought you home and he would have seen the hair and the ink and all the scars and he would have shit his pants.”

“Is it wrong that that makes me as happy as it does? Knowing I would have successfully corrupted his little girl?”

“You did a good job of it. Corrupting me. I was a good girl until I met you.”

“Like fuck you were.”

“I was! I was sweet and innocent and…”

“Sweet and innocent girls DO NOT bang a guy they just met. I’m sorry. They just don’t. I love you, but there was nothing sweet and innocent about you when we met. You had your tongue pierced.”

“Lots of girls have tongue pierced. It’s cool. It’s edgy.”

“That’s not why you got your tongue pierced and you know it.”

“Maybe I was holding out hope on finding a guy that would let me use it to its full advantage. And then you showed up and boy, did you let me use it to my advantage.”

“I miss that thing. I think you should get it done again. Just because.”

“Yeah, I know what your ‘just because’ is. Maybe for your birthday. We’ll see.”

“That would be the best birthday present EVER. The gift that keeps on giving.”

“I’m already the mother everyone avoids at the school. Why not add something else to the list of things that make me stick out like a sore thumb. Why is everyone so uptight there? It’s a public school, for fuck sake. They act like it’s some posh private school. And they’re scared of you.”

“Good.”

“I hear the teacher made a play for you. At the bar.”

He frowns.

“What? You didn’t think I’d found out? Koen told me. That she tried to get on your dick. She’s lucky I don’t go there and beat her ass. I mean, it’s flattering that everyone thinks my husband is a hottie and totally fuckable, but don’t actually try.”

“Like the guy at the grocery store? The one with Mustang and the man bun? Seriously, Esme? A guy with a man bun? Talk about downgrading.”

She laughs. “Chad.”

“Chad? He even has a douche name.”

“He is a douche. But he’s only twenty-two, so…”

“You’re a fucking cougar. Atta girl.”

“I can’t believe the kids told you about that.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about it.”

“What’s there to tell? He grabbed my ass, I told him to fuck off, and then I told him I was going to tell my husband and you were going to show up and rip him in half. And he’s seen you and he thinks you’re totally capable of doing it.”

“I WILL rip him in half.”

“You’re not going to take a garden tool to him?” she teases. “Maybe a shovel to the head? Chop off his dick with a pair of hedge trimmers?”

“You know what…”

“What? What are you going to do Tyler? Nothing. Because you love when I tease you. When I ride your ass about things.”

He smirks. “I like when you ride me, all right.”

“That is NOT what I was talking about and you know it. I’m surprised you’re taking it so well. Finding out about Chad.”

“Chad and his Mustang and his man bun? Fuck. I’m going in there next week just to freak him out.”

“He’ll shit his pants. He’ll see you and piss himself.”

“Good.”

“I thought you’d be pissed. Which is why I didn’t tell you in the first place. But this? I like this. I like this side of you. The one that just laughs it off and doesn’t lose his shit.”

“You handled it. I’m impressed. You’re little but you’re not to be fucked with. Tanner is definitely your son.”

“He’s a tough little bugger. He’s not afraid of anyone. He’s a lot cagier than anyone thinks. He flies under the radar and surprises everyone. Maybe he’s the one that’s going to follow in your footsteps.”

Tyler frowns. “Why the hell would you want that?”

“You really think one of them won’t? My money was on Declan, but I don’t know, Tanner might shock everyone.”

“I don’t want any one of them being like me. Not that way.”

“It’s not the most horrible thing in the world, you know. If one of them does turn out like you. And I’m not just talking about looks and personality.”

“I know what you’re talking about. And I can’t believe you’d even say that, let alone be okay with it.”

“It’s not like you’re a serial killer. There’s worse things in this world you could be doing, you know.”

“I kill people. For money.”

“That’s not ALL you do, Tyler. It’s part of what you do. And one of them wants into it, we can’t stop them. It’ll happen whether we want it to or not. And if you think your kids are going to suddenly hate you or think less of you because of the job…”

“They might.”

“That will never happen. You’re their dad. What you do for a living has no bearing on how you raise them; what kind of father you are. You’re not the same person at home that you are on the job. All that matters to them is who you are when you’re with them. They don’t give a shit about anything else.”

He wants to believe that. He NEEDS to believe that. That when they're older, all they’ll remember are the good things; the times they spend together and that he was never afraid to show them affection or tell them that he loved him. How he’d tuck them in at night and read them bedtime stories and sometimes even fall asleep alongside them; tall, heavy frame way too large for their small beds, yet never complaining about the neck pain or the stiff back he’d wake up with. He hopes they remember that he TRIED. To be a good man. A good father. That they’re able to look back and say that they watched him treat their mother well; loving her with every fibre of his being.

But the reality of who he is...the things he’s done...it won’t be easy for them to accept. Not when they’re old enough to fully understand things.

And he thinks of Nik and her last ditch attempt to talk him out of settling down. She’d first tried when he’d found out that he was going to be a father again; making the mistake of confiding in her about just how scared he actually was. Not that he was having a baby, but that he’d only fuck things up again. She’d encouraged him to just cut all ties; convince Esme -only three months pregnant at the time- to go back to the States and live her life as a single mother. Telling him that he didn’t need the extra stress and worry while he was trying to recover; a baby would only be a burden he couldn’t afford and shouldn’t take on.

He’d refused to listen; he wasn’t abandoning her or their kid. He was going ‘all in’; they’d move in with one another and get to know each other and have the baby and raise it together. It wasn’t the conventional way of doing things. But they hadn’t started out conventional so why start being that way now? They’d make it work; they’d fall in love if that was in the cards and they’d have a good life and maybe even have more kids. It was the first time in his life -since Austin died- that he felt hopeful; he had a reason to live and not put a gun in his mouth or keep going on suicide missions in hopes of catching a bullet.

The last time she’d tried to ‘get through to him’ was the night before he got married. Asking him to meet her for a few ‘pre congratulatory drinks’ and then both propositioning him and trying to get him to change his mind. Attempting to convince him that this life -a husband, a father- wasn’t meant for someone like him. Someone who had the guilt and the regret and his kind of past. That being a family man AND a merc just wasn’t possible. Did he really want his children finding out years down the road just WHO he was? Did he really think they’d be able to accept that? Did he really think they’d love him knowing the truth?

“Tyler?” Her voice is soft. Concerned. “What’s going on with you?”

“Nothing,” he gives a reassuring smile. “Just thinking about stuff.”

“Bad stuff or…?”

“No. Just stuff that doesn’t matter anymore and I need to let go.”

“About…?”

“About nothing important. Just an old conversation with someone. About where my life was and where it was heading. Just some shit they said that pisses me off now when I think about it. They weren’t saying it for me. They were saying it for them.”

“We’re talking about Nik aren’t we.”

He nods.

“She won’t stop calling. She won’t stop sending emails. I can’t avoid her forever. YOU can’t avoid her forever. I think she wants to make amends. And normally I’d say ‘fuck her’ and that she made her bed and know she has to lie in it, but I actually feel kind of sorry for her.”

“That’s a first. You feeling sorry for her.”

“First you abandon her. Now Kyle.”

“Okay first off, I didn’t abandon her. There was nothing to abandon. I used to fuck her. That’s it.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have been so good at it,” Esme teases. “She wouldn’t still be holding on as tight as she is.”

“Or maybe she can just leave me the fuck alone.”

“I don’t think this about wanting to jump on your dick. I think she’s finally gotten the picture that that’s NOT going to happen. I think she’s legitimately hurt. That you went and started your own business without at least telling her. Or giving her the opportunity to partner with you.”

“I don’t want anything to do with her. Tell her that the next time she calls.”

“I have an idea!” She clamps a hand down on his knee. “Why don’t YOU tell her? Nik is your mess, not mine. I’ve spent almost seven years dealing with her shit. I’m done. It’s your turn.”

Tyler sighs.

“Just call her and see what she wants. What’s the worst that could happen? She wants to work with you? Or just wants to reem you out for stealing her people? Just hear her out and hang up on her if you have to.”

“I’ll call her. When we get back.”

“And please call Yaz. He says he wants to talk to you. That he has an offer for you.”

“What kind of offer?”

“He wouldn’t tell me. Just that he had an offer and you needed to hear it. So call him too. So I don’t have to keep putting up with these people. Because I’m on my last thread of sanity and if I lose that last threat…”

“I’ll be the one paying for it.”

“Exactly! See? You get it. Only took you nearly seven years to figure out how things work. Happy wife, happy life, right? You’re catching on.”

“You and your fucking mouth…”

“You love me. And my mouth.”

“I’m not denying EITHER of those things.”

“I’m not talking about what I do with my mouth. I’m talking about what comes out of it.”

He smirks. “Sure you are…”

“Your mind is permanently in the gutter. Middle age suits you.”

“Fuck you and your middle age crap. I’ve still got at least fifteen years to go before I’m middle age.”

“Tyler, no one lives to be a hundred and ten.”

“You just watch me.”

“You know what? You’d be the one who would. You’d be the one that after getting shot, stabbed, hit with a shovel, hit by a car, everything else that’s been done to you and you’ve been through, that WOULD live that long. Somehow that makes sense. The one that should have died a long time ago ends up living that long.”

“I’m too stubborn to die.”

“I’ve never heard anything MORE true. I like hearing this kind of talk from you. Instead of the doom and the gloom. Instead of hearing you talk about not coming home and being stuck in Mumbai and…”

“Hey…” he reaches out and takes her hand in his, settling them on his thigh. “...let’s NOT talk about Mumbai, okay? For four days, let’s not talk about that. Or the job. Let’s just...I don’t know...talk about normal stuff. The weather and what we want to eat and things we want to do. I don’t care how boring it is or how stupid is seems. I just want us to be...I don’t know...normal.”

“Have we met? Neither of us are normal.”

“Okay, so our version of normal. I don’t want to talk about Mumbai or Mahajan or the job or…”

“If you didn’t want to talk about it or think about it, you wouldn’t have brought THAT,” she lifts the bottom of his t-shirt and nods down at the holster and gun on his right hip.

“Might have to kill a dingo. Wasn’t that in the wedding vows too? That I wouldn’t let a dingo get you?”

“That’s what hunting rifles are for. Not Glocks.”

“Just better to be safe than sorry. We don’t know who is out there. If anyone IS out there.”

“Do you think there is? Someone out there? Watching us?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know.”

“You’d tell me, right? If you felt that way?”

He nods.

“You know what’s funny? You’re the one that is talking about us ‘talking’ when we’re there. I’m the one that’s looking forward to the sex.”

He chuckles. “Well I’m looking forward to THAT too. Weird hearing you mention it first though.”

She laughs. “I can’t help it. There’s something wrong with my hormones. That’s all I’ve been thinking about lately.”

“And you call me ‘extra’.”

“I want to have all the sex,” she enthuses. “With you. All of it. Like dirty, raunchy, adult sex. The kind we can’t have at home because we always have to worry about kids interrupting us. I mean hard core sex. Like in Dhaka. Where I can make all the noise I want and no one can hear it.”

“Everyone in the hotel in Dhaka heard. They all knew my name and I never told anyone of them my name. So…”

“Remember the time the people next to us complained to the manager? The second night? I think they were just jealous. They wished they were getting dicked down that good.”

“I do miss that kind of thing,” he admits. “It’s a turn on. Hearing you.”

“You’re such a bad influence. I really WAS a good girl before I met you. I don’t know what got into me.”

“I know exactly what got into you.”

“Well if you weren’t so good at these things…”

“Isn’t that part of why you married me?” he chides. “Because I am good at those things?”

“One of the reasons. There’s a lot of them. Reasons. I really married you because of your hair, so technically I should have filed for divorce the second you made me shave it off.”

“I’m growing it back. Relax.”

“And you’re getting scruffy again,” she grins, and rubs her hand against his cheek. “You’re all sorts of sexy. No wonder I put out so much. And it’s going to be good for us. Getting away. And not just because of sex. Just to be alone together. Be able to relax and just...I don’t know...be together. We haven’t had that in a long time.”

He nods in agreement. “I don’t know if we’ve ever really had that. And no. Dhaka does NOT count.”

“That’s because you were getting paid to have sex with me.”

“In a weird way, yeah.”

“I really was whoring myself out to you.”

He frowns. “What?”

“Nothing. It’s just something someone said. It’s not important. What’s important is us and the next four days. And me NOT getting eaten by a dingo.”

He laughs at that. “I’ll protect you from all the dingoes, baby.”

“I know,” she smiles, and then rests her head against his shoulder. “You'll protect me from ANYTHING.”

He nods in agreement. It’s true. He WOULD protect her from anything. Anyone.

No matter what it costs.

#tyler rake #tyler rake fan fic #tyler rake fan fiction #extraction #best part of me #chris hemsworth character

8 notes · View notes