#like a gross person

[lilydoesanon]

another pipeline of Omicron fics

smut one-shot: Valentine's Day kinky smut. currently untitled. in progress: I have written one line.

smut one-shot: Dick has a Red Hood kink. currently untitled. in progress: still only a drabble but it's moved up in the list.

smut one-shot: cum inflation. currently untitled. just a pipedream atm but the last pipedream turned into 14k words, so.

smut one-shot: oral knotting. currently titled: deep. in progress: still only a drabble, moved down for the moment.

sick!Dick fic 2.0: Dick catches the flu. currently titled stay with me. pre-relationship sickness fluff, but only an idea for now.

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[starscream-is-my-wife]

Sometimes a day makes you want a Starscream to bite and squeeze

[tapenbreak]

reverse somnophilia with kylar—as in through the depths of the twinkling night, they can’t help their creaking footsteps from making its way to your thoroughly sleeping form, restless slip their way through an opened window you’ve oh, so thoughtlessly left opened like the forgetful boy that you can be.

but, doesn’t that explain enough on it’s own? that being, an unspoken invitation left by yours truly for him to eventually sneak his way towards your snoozing self—merely unperturbed by the way his quivering figure hovers above your own. prettily dozing away for him to do as he so pleases and that is, to settle himself underneath the woollen covers as well, as though this is where he irrefutably belongs so. him, your curled up form that remains blissfully aware of a foreign presence intimately pressed against your own. . . ah, there it is—found it.

for you see, he’s inadvertently uncovered an unknown secret of yours during one of his numerous trespassing trips of laying upon your single bed, too. one which you’re sorely left unaware of, judging by the way you hadn’t taken proper measures of not purely sleeping in your mere underwear. the sudden grasp of your welcoming arms finding themselves encircled around the width of his rather. . . skinny waist, singular leg hooked upon his hip like it’s the most natural thing to do, as per expected—you cutely cuddle the nearest thing within your reach, in your sleep, but not only that either. simultaneously humping along the familiar curvature of his backside, dribbling cock neatly resting between his asscheeks.

and funnily enough, he doesn’t make the slightest movement so as to potentially startle you. gleefully lets himself be used so, as your unsuspecting stress toy in your slumbering wake. since you certainly need the resulting relief, don’t you? or so, his deluded self has properly convinced himself of such—that he’s surely helping, is all! rubbing along the straining bulge of your leaking cock head firmly pressed against the stretchy material, subconsciously squeezing his squishy thighs to further aid the eventual release, which you seek yourself.

no, no—he really can’t help the stifled whimpers that spills past bitten lips meant to be silenced. cranes his neck partially to the side to witness your utterly adorable expression you’re presently wearing while you’re practically fucking someone’s clothed behind. hitched breath faltering and uncaring for the possible name that may slip out as you’re doing this. solely concentrated on delightfully drinking in the deepening furrow of your brows, flutter of your curled lashes and quivering of your glistening lip. further coaxing you into finishing for your rewarded efforts of crudely grinding yourself against a willing kylar, and finish—you do. rumpled sheets laid askew in the desolate room itself, sticky seed spattering amongst the mattress’s extended space, but more importantly. . . covering the surface of his shorts like a candid trophy meant to be flaunted, which he won’t as this is meant to be only his to witness.

so maybe, the loner breathlessly lays there for a couple more minutes to savour the feel of your body nicely close to his—despite being unconscious of such. steals a glimpse downwards to where his cute, little cock lays untouched and pressed against the inward part of his thigh. doesn’t let himself chase any sort of release either because, in the most pervasive of ways, he finds it hotter that you’ve involuntarily neglected him of such an orgasm. let him silently leave once he’s done his part of satisfying your sleeping form underneath various blankets as though he was never was here, to begin with.

and maybe too, do you awaken in the morning with a noticeably apparent flush to stain the fullness of your cheeks. inwardly cursing at having another salacious, wet dream to be the barren cause as to why your briefs are now stupidly painted shear in your translucent cum. jolting upwards at robin’s curious head peering to the side from your door left ajar while claiming it’s nothing—you’ll be the one to clean this filthy mess and slip on your school uniform on time.

unbeknownst to the fact that the dark headed boy adds another stained shorts of his to his growing collection, disgustingly admires the sheen of your fat load now adorning the fabric of his clothes. sometimes wears them as though they’re a part of himself, too.

perhaps, he’ll make due to consequentially have your pulsating cock catch on the rim of his puffy hole next time and then, hold your dripping seed in his ass to school.

yeah, maybe. that’s an idea.

[mybraindumpsterfire]

… they have matching phone cases… good thing im completely normal about this

[bottomvalerius]

Heavy on the “nor would you be invited to”

[meowdy-all]

I know i did NOT just get a wincest shipper across my dash in the year 2024

[inkskinned]

we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.

"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."

i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.

you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"

i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.

what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.

i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.

"don't make a big deal about this," you said.

this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.

"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.

you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."

the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.

afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."

[leupagus]

On Voting in America

So one of the most profound comments on routine chores that I've ever encountered was, hilariously, the Pickle Rick episode of "Rick & Morty," where (after a lot of shenanigans have already ensued) this therapist absolutely lays Rick out:

"I have no doubt that you would be bored senseless by therapy, the same way I'm bored when I brush my teeth and wipe my ass. Because the thing about repairing, maintaining, and cleaning is: it's not an adventure. There's no way to do it so wrong you might die. It's just work. And the bottom line is some people are okay going to work and some people, well, some people would rather die. Each of us gets to choose."

I think about this at least once a week — usually while I'm doing my laundry or sweeping or some other task that needs doing and won't get me anything more than clean clothing or a dog-hair-free floor. There's no Pulitzer for wiping down your microwave or scrubbing your toilet; no one's awarding you for getting all the dishes out of the sink. At best you have the satisfaction of crossing it off your list.

Voting is very much the same (and I'm talking about the US here, as an American). Sure, you sometimes get a sticker; but nobody's going to cheer for you. There's no adventure here, no potential for anything more than crossing something off of a list. It's a chore, something that needs doing in order to repair, maintain, and yes even clean. So I get why people don't like doing it.

And I've decided I don't give a shit.

Do it anyway. Your country takes astonishingly little from you — taxes, the once-in-a-blue-moon jury duty, and a theoretical draft that hasn't been used in over half a century and likely will never be again — but it asks you (asks! not requires! not demands!) to vote once or twice a year. It's not always easy; especially in conservative states, the impediments to vote can be ridiculous. But it is once a year and unlike in our nation's all-too-recent past, you will not die if you do it.

In fact, the worst outcome from voting these days is that the person or issue that you vote for loses — but you won't know if they lose until after the election. Polls are less accurate now, for a whole host of reasons; you cannot know until after the election who or what will win. This makes your vote more valuable than possibly ever before.

Use that power. Not because it's exciting or even rewarding, but because your vote is what keeps our country's metaphorical teeth from falling out and our metaphorical ass from stinking.

Brush, wipe, vote.

[thevixenwitch]

Fertility magic can be:

- A sex thing!

- An agriculture thing!

- An abundance thing!

- Whatever the fuck you want it to be!

[howsdeanshole]

imagining an alternate ending scenario where cas comes back (handwavey, thanks jack/whatever) and he and dean talk about The Confession after some sort of episode-long miscommunication/avoidance as usual and they get together. but i’m imagining the aftermath of this, where they’re getting used to permitting themselves the casual intimate touch that comes with the new emotional territory and dean is working up the nerve to tell sam so he keeps shrugging off cas’s hands or taking his own back or inching away whenever sam comes in, and eventually sam is like “*scoff* dean, im glad cas is back, too! you don’t have to hide it. it’s not like i’m going to think you’re gay or something.” thinking he’s lightening the mood and taking a weight off of dean.

however. lol.

after this dean keeps trying to tell sam that actually he and cas ARE in love. unfortunately sam is convinced dean is pissed about the gay comment and being weirdly PA about it, and he’s mad that deans dragging cas into his charade because why else would dean be sitting in cas’s lap or petting his hair or getting cas to put his hand in deans back pocket???? he GETS it, okay! dean doesn’t have anything to prove to him! can he just leave cas out of it??????

this would be a 2-3 episode long conflict. in my heart. which is only resolved when sam walks in on them hitting fifth base in the dean cave and is like. okay. well. i don’t think that was for my benefit whatsoever. going to go as far away as i possibly can and scrub off my brain.

[canisalbus]

A silly little thing, but when I think of your world, is inside-out ear seen as like. Dog equivalent of lettuce in your teeth? I just imagine Machete having an important meeting but he's had one pointy ear inside out the whole time.

I also like the idea of a subversion of their normal responses of Vasco being the one mortified if it happened to him, while Machete just popping it back into place without breaking stride

Hmm, it would certainly be a little embarrassing to be caught with your ear inside out, especially in a more formal/professional setting. But ears are very sensitive to touch and actively used in communication, so I think most dogs would notice it pretty quickly if one of theirs flipped out of place on accident.

Then again everyone has ears and most dog ear shapes can be turned inside out, so it's probably an universal thing that every dog experiences from time to time.

[avenin7]

I’ve realized why I hate most fanon interpretations of Revali now. I can’t stand when people make him lie about or brag about things he can’t actually do. I’ve always seen Revali’s character as truthful and honest to a fault. (will insult you to your face if it’s accurate levels of truth) He’s egotistical yes. Because he can actually back up what he says. I find it so annoying irl when someone says they can do something when they can’t or lies about knowing what you’re talking about when they very obviously don’t. And I’ve noticed a lot of fanon takes his character that way because of the common headcanon that he’s insecure. But I find that trait so unbearably annoying and have never headcanoned Revali’s character that way. I’ve always seen him as humble when you know, he actually doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Or being able to acknowledge when someone else has skill higher than him. (the whole POINT with his beef with Link is because he was under the impression Link thought he was better than him. He just wanted a chance to either be proven right or wrong. His dialogue in the dlc implies that even if he lost, he would have been content to just know). That doesn’t sound like someone who can’t acknowledge when they’re wrong.

So when people are out here writing Revali in extreme denial and making him act like a complete asshat who thinks he’s hot shit when he’s very obviously NOT; it rubs me the wrong way. Feels like it does a disservice to his character a lot. and makes him extremely immature & annoying

[stealingyourbones]

Every time I see a manipulative ass tiktoker who does tarot with forceably clickbaity words on the thumbnail like (DONT SCROLL!! HE STILL LOVES YOU) and encourages unhealthy romantic relationships or bad habits or shit like that, I want to reach through the screen and throttle that poster. Those assholes need to be banned from the site.

[g0nta-g0kuhara]

Entomologist really was the perfect talent to give Gonta. What better field of study could you pick to parallel the guy whose entire character is drenched in misunderstanding and loneliness than that on the animals which are looked at by most people with complete disgust just for existing the way they do?

[delicatedoggie]

sometimes i think ab being a kid at my friend's house n he's the hot older brother that always comes home all sweaty from skating n ruffles my hair whenever he sees me n pretends not to notice how i look at him w my big puppydoggie eyes bc im just a silly kid with a crush. n then i get so horny i feel lightheaded