#like Shrek

[jayteu]

Feelin green

[smilesrobotlover]

I’m so stoked for this movie but look at this glow down. Ugh what did they do to his beautiful golden hair. This is an outrage

[ill-sleep-when-im-dead-again]

psychosomatic

he was dreaming. The edges of his vision hazy, glowing, the time seeming to expand and contract as he walked the hallways, the stairs, more rooms, until he hit the ops center trap door.

He was on the roof. It was terribly dark. The air was electric, the clouds churned. Soft halos of incandescent street lamps peaked over the lip of roof, dissipating before they reached him. He felt a terrible itch. Danny felt like a doorknob shocked him, that single second eternal and all up his arm.

He thought he was going to jump out of his skin. His scar, in fact, that had faded so nicely since the accident last month, seemed to be very eager to do that. It was raised now. Throbbing in time with the static in his chest, the static he ignored every day. He was *fine*, nothing weird to see here. Danny felt like his skin as too tight. It was... Glowing? No, no, it's not supposed to be-

Danny nearly ripped his shirt off, and yes, the entire scar up his chest, to his neck where he couldn't get an angle on it anymore. Totally glowing. He tries to speak but it's a dream. He can't run or scream. Only witness. The glow became more intense; a web of lightning bursting at the seams.

~~~

It was so green. He closed his eyes and the afterimage was nothing but green. He didn't remember much of that day. Sam and Tucker filled him in later.

"We just wanted to see the portal."

"you said, 'it's just a fancy, blinking arch. The friggin' thing doesn't work. I swear, it's like their third child. Mom and Dad have practically moved down here to work on it.'"

"you put on your suit. You went inside it-"

"I goaded you on, I should have listened to you but I want to take pictures-"

"you tripped-"

"it was a mess down there dude-"

"you caught yourself, you said, 'see nothing to worry.'"

"and you leaned on the wall-"

"oh god they put the BUTTON inside the damn thing, you looked confused-"

"I'm so sorry, I didn't think-"

"the portal's busted, like, really bad-"

"everything was just, green-"

~~~

The portal didn't work. But he dreamed it did. He dreamt of an infinite expanse of green. He was in the hazmat suit again. It reminded him of a cartoon h saw once of a shattered world. Little islands of rock floated across the sky, above, below. He saw some people- people? Probably people- in the distance. Something in the core of his being begged him not to approach them. He did as he was told, for once.

Now, the green was inside him, and it was forever, and he couldn't hold it in anymore. His skin began to peel back. Beneath flesh was pulsing green, inverted sunbeams. Oh god, he was going to die up here. He remembered he had another hand, and tried to clamp the gap closed.

"please," he managed to whisper.

Danny's hand burned. He pulled it back with a hiss. He couldn't look at this, he didn't want to see any of this. His vision was being overtaken by green. A voice echoed.

But he could see a distortion. A bump. Finger tips, clawing at the edges of his biceps, from the inside out. They grasped. They pushed. The static encompassed his whole body. He was being pulled apart like putty. Danny could screamed now, and boy, did he scream.

His back arched more than he thought possible, and the scar widened, a violent slash of green across his pale form. An entire arm shot out, followed by a head. The light was so bright he could not large distinguish details. He thought he would rip open completely.

He stopped registering the actions that were happening. All there was was light and static and the feeling that he was about to catch himself during a fall. His scrambled thoughts tried to hold himself together.

~~~

He woke up in his bed. Sweating. Tshirt half off. It was blessedly dark in his room. Panicked hands cradled his arm, his chest. Smooth. Almost invisible. Nothing to see here. No spooky ass hands or Great Gatsby metaphors to see here.

It was just Danny, and he had another nightmare. He just had to be logical. Surely, the gaping wounds would still be there. The lightning under his skin was nothing. Actually, this was the least he felt it in weeks, he thought.

And if he could think, he was not dead. He breathed, the exercises Jazz forced him to learn. Slow breath in. Hold. Slow breath out. Count it nice and even. Fuck, he's never gonna tell her this helps, he'll never hear the end of it. Just like he's never telling his parents he super fucked up the portal, because then they will end *him*.

It was 4 am. He had a few more hours until he got up. Maybe he'd have a better dream. He fixed his shirt, sipped the water at his nightstand, and went back to bed.

It was 4 am. It was over a month since his heart last beat. But if he didn't think about it, he was fine.

[cerealdog]

Loving all the groups so far

[inbabylontheywept]

i once accidentally dated someone for a few months. its very difficult to explain how this happened, but the gist is that i thought we were hanging out, and she thought we were on dates, and it was just a very painfully highschool thing.

she was a little bit confused that i hadnt tried to pull any moves, at all, even a little. like, didnt even try holding hands because, and i cannot emphasize this enough, i did not know we were dating.

so, halloween rolled around, and she thought, you know, why wait for destiny, when you can grab it? so she hit me with a clue by four.

babylon, she said. babylon. my mom's gonna be out of town on halloween, and im gonna have the house to myself, and it's going to be kind of lonely. would you like to come to my house and watch scary movies with me?

you know, kind of a netflix and chill thing. except, and i cannot emphasize this enough, i did not know we were dating. also autism. so i took it at face value and said: oh! yeah! thatd be fun! and she thought she got her point across, but she didnt and it was a mess.

skip forward to halloween: my family has a block party every year, right? and at that point i was too old to really trick or treat, but we still wore costumes for our role in the block party, which in my case, was handing out cotton candy. so i took the first shift, and my costume was this homemade abomination minion thing. i had full yellow body paint, and goggles, and a bald cap, and overalls. the kids who saw it were like, uh, hm. overly realistic minion. and adults were like, oh, some kind of hills have eyes hillbilly with jaundice. very scary.

(it was not my best costume.)

my little brother swapped me out for second shift, and i was getting ready to change out to head to her house when i was like: no, she'll get a real kick out of this. this is one of the worst things i have ever worn. so i kept it on and just brought a change of clothes thinking i could shower real quick and change at her place after she saw my nightmare getup.

so i left after that, got there, knocked on her door, and she said come on in. so i went in, and there was this very long hall with an abrupt right turn into her living room where the tv was, and i went down the hall, and i made the turn, and my field of view went from beige drywal to her, on the couch, naked. naked in the paint me like one of your french girls pose. super naked.

i panicked. this was my first time seeing a real person like, full on sex naked,which is a totally different beast from other kinds of naked. you see one kind of naked and you think yeah, im ready for all the kinds of naked, but you arent. i wasnt at least. i really wasn't.

so my brain crashed to BIOS. she also crashed to BIOS, but for different reasons. of all the ways this could have turned me, having me show up in yellow body paint and overalls was pretty pretty low down the list.

so we sat there a while, and you know, she wasn't getting any less naked, which really wasn't helping me get my brain sorted out. it really wasnt much of a surprise when she got her bearings first and started asking questions.

"babylon," she said. "babylon. what are you wearing?"

and i was like, kind of rebooted, but i was nowhere near full functionality, so symbolic language wasnt loaded in yet. i had nothing running but my trusty autism.exe, so i said

"overalls"

and she looked at me like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked at her like she was the first naked person i had seen in real life who got naked specifically for me, and my upper level cognitive process went: "listen man, we are not going to get our shit together as long as 80% of your brain power is devoted to not blinking. you gotta get out of here."

and if id communicated that, maybe things would have been less of a mess, but instead i just kind of turned around and walked back to my car. i figured i could drive a few loops around the block, get my brain in order, and figure out what the hell we were gonna do.

the only thing i had said to her since arriving was, again, overalls.

first loop around, i was like: oh god fucking damnit. oh shit. oh shit. shes gonna get like, an eating disorder from this. oh no.

second loop around i was like: oh NOOOOO oh WHAT THE FUCK oh SWEET JESUS PLEASE. i dont wanna go back man. i just wanna bury this and forget about it. please. please. let this bitter cup pass from my lips.

and after my third loop, i went and i knocked on her door again.

she answered it this time, and i counted my lucky stars that she'd changed into some pajamas. she was all teary eyed which was the saddest thing ever, and we sat down in her kitchen and talked. it was pretty bad - i figured out we'd been dating, and she figured out that trying to jump from home plate to 3rd base is considered ballsy in baseball, least of all dating. no real winners there. and i can remember after all that, we sat there a bit a bit longer, just steadying ourselves, and i was like "well, im actually really glad we figured that out. guess i'll see you at school tomorow' and she said "WAIT. wait."

"lets watch shrek 2."

so we did and it was horrible. we did not look at each other. we did not say a word. we just sat in stony silence, while shrek 2 played in the background, and when it was done we shook hands. i think we might have been able to salvage that as a friendship if it hadnt been for shrek. as it was she turned white as a sheet and ran away every time she even got a glimpse of me at school, and that summer she moved to a new state to live with her dad. all her friends said she moved just so she wouldn't have to go to school with me anymore, and i dont actually think they were lying.

every time i hear relationship counselors talk about how important communication is, and i'm tempted to roll my eyes, i look back and go, alright. alright. theres probably some poor bastard, somewhere in the world, who doesnt even know that hes married.

and god help him when he figures it out.

other bad dating story here.

[anna-scribbles]

old doodles from the archives 🫶

[mfshipbracket]

[eatthatstrawberryyoullsurvive]

oh how i long for you, strange green pasta that i have never had

[ravangie]

It was Shrek's anniversary yesterday!

And it's Shrek 2's anniversary today!

Congrats, everyone!!!

Thought I'd use this opportunity to show you all my favourite pieces of my female universe Shrek fanart💚

I'm so happy these movies exist🥰

More of my Shrek fanart here✨

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Out of sight, out of - wait.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[sleepytoycollection]

Me at the dollar store: oh how cute they got a little figure of Dragon

...

Wait a minute.

HER NAME IS ELIZABETH???? WHAT???? SINCE WHEN??? DOES DONKEY KNOW THIS??? ELIZABETH!!!!!

[risibledeer]

This happened I can attest because I’m psychic actually 👍 lol

[melrosing]

jaimcat arranged marriage au….

[niyana-the-ambiguous-mobian]

So I finally watched Puss in Boots 2....

[paleoleigh]

I need Mary and Doug to show up at the inn so we can have an exchange that goes like:

Mary: Stede?!

Stede: Mary?!

Ed: Mary?

Stede: *remembering dinner at Anne and Mary Read's house* Ed...

Mary: *doing the math* Ed?

Stede: *affirmatively* Ed!

Ed: *confused, pointing at himself* Ed.

Doug: *also confused* ....I'll go wait in the carriage.

[vimbry]

people talk about how things like seinfeld and supernatural are reoccurring references on this site, nobody talks the constant presence of 1960s pop rock band the monkees. I'll be looking at a post that seems to have absolutely no relation to the band the monkees, and there's a tag that's like "this is so peter tork coded". and you know what. I don't know anything about the monkees, maybe that is total torkcore.