#like Rick really got a different Steve than everyone else

[daydreamerdrew]

Captain America 65th Anniversary Special (2006) #1 and The Avengers (1963) #46

I like Steve being a mother hen as a consistent part of his characterization

[dreamy625]

Contrary to popular opinion - ficlet

I wrote something silly

Words: 1381

Content: Little bit of swearing

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“So we’re really going to do this then?”

“We agreed it’s time, didn't we? But we don’t have to, if you’re getting cold feet?”

“No, you’re right. It’s been nearly two years, we can’t keep hiding it. I just worry how they’re going to react.”

“They’re our mates and they love us. Well, sort of. They might be shocked at first, but I think they’ll be okay with it once they get used to the idea. And if they aren’t, well, fuck ‘em!”

“Yeah, fuck ‘em!” echoed Steve, with more resolve than he really felt. 

“Ready?”

Steve nodded and reached out his hand to grasp Phil’s. 

“Here we go then.” With his other hand, Phil pushed open the door to the Rec room and greeted the rest of the band. “Morning, everyone!”

There was a chorus of ‘morning’s and ‘how do’s from the various band members and techs scattered around the room, and an unintelligible grunt from Sav, who hadn’t had enough coffee to form actual words yet, but, engrossed in newspapers and the morning mail, no one looked up. 

“How are we doing this fine day?” he continued, hoping to draw at least some eyes towards them.

Joe looked from the football scores to the window and then to the two guitarists. “It’s raining?”

“Err, that is a fine day in Holland, need the rain to fill up the canals!”

Joe frowned but decided it wasn’t worth questioning the logic of this and just went back to his paper.

Phil steered them in a circuitous route around the room, stopping to greet Rick.

“Morning lads.” The drummer looked up. “Nice shirt, Steve.”

“Thanks, it’s new.”

Impatient, Phil prompted, “Notice anything else?”

Rick squinted at the two of them. “You got your hair cut?” he hazarded.

“Oh never mind.” Phil gave up, dragging Steve away to the breakfast buffet.

“The doughnuts are good today!” Rick called after them.

“It’s not working,” puzzled Phil as they busied themselves pouring tea and choosing pastries, “maybe we’re being too subtle?”

“I’ve got an idea…”

Steve started rattling crockery until at least a few of the people scattered around the room looked vaguely in their direction, and then pounced on the other man with what looked like it was going to be a giant sloppy kiss, but ended up more of an awkward peck with their noses bumping. Other than Sav rolling his eyes, there was no reaction. When Phil blinked and recovered from the inept surprise attack, Steve’s expression was a pained cringe. Phil grabbed his shoulder and almost pushed him out of the door into the corridor and away from the audience.

“What was that? Even I didn’t believe that!” 

“I know, sorry, I got nervous at the last second.”

“Well it was a good thought, but no one batted an eyelid. At this rate we're going to have to screw on the mixing desk before anyone notices anything.” 

“That seems a bit extreme. Not to mention uncomfortable.”

“So we need a different approach. Something a bit more obvious.” 

“How about we start referring to each other as boyfriends?” 

“That might work. And we could call each other darling?”

“But we don't even do that in private?” 

“Well I can't call you my actual name for you now can I, Bunny?”

“No, please no.”

“See, that’s why it suits you so well, because you’re so cute.” He reached up and booped the blushing man’s nose.

“Shuddup,” Steve muttered, but he couldn’t hide a pleased little smile.

-----------------------------

Back in the lounge, Sav turned to Joe with an observation. “Is it just me, or are those two even weirder than usual today?”

“The snogging you mean?”

“No, they’re always doing that. The muttering in corners. I think they’re up to something.”

“Plotting more of their shenanigans probably. Remember the day they spoke in Spanish accents?”

“And that time they tried to do everything backwards and Steve fell down the stairs; and when they pretended to be each other for an entire week.”

Joe shuddered. “The sight of Phil trying to fit in Steve’s jeans will haunt me for life!”

-----------------------------

During lunch Phil asked for ‘water, for my boyfriend’, ‘ketchup, for my boyfriend’, ‘extra napkins, for my BOYFRIEND’ and so many other things that the exasperated waitress eventually just brought him a tray of condiments and cutlery, and on the journey back to the studio, Steve sat on Phil’s lap, even though there were enough seats for everyone. But still no one commented, or even acted like their behaviour was the least bit unusual. That evening, back in the room that was ostensibly Phil’s, though in fact they shared it, they reconsidered their strategy.

“There’s nothing else for it, we're going to have to actually tell people.”

“You do it, you’re better at words.”

“But you’ve known them longer.”

“That’s why they’ll be shocked. But everyone knows you’ll shag anything with a pulse, so they won’t be that surprised you’re shagging me!”

“Cheeky!” exclaimed Phil with mock offence, poking him in the ribs. Then he turned serious. “You know it’s not just that, right?”

“I know. I don’t understand why you’d pick me, but you did, so…” He shrugged.

“You are ridiculous.” Phil threw an arm round the other man’s shoulders, pulling him close and kissing him on the forehead. “I love you, you pillock. And tomorrow we’ll tell everyone and then I won’t have to pretend not to any more.”

“That’ll be nice,” murmured Steve, settling into his embrace. 

-----------------------------

The time they chose for the big announcement was the end of the day when everyone, Mutt included, was hanging around the studio listening to the tracks they’d put down that day. They’d been twitchy about it all day, but the somewhat anticlimactic response to Phil’s stammered ‘Me and Steve, we’re… well… we’re together’ was neither the outrage and derision they’d feared, nor the happiness and congratulations they’d hoped for. It was laughter.

“See, I told you they were up to something,” crowed Sav.

“Gotta give it to you, lads, this is real commitment to the bit,” added Mutt.

“No, really,” protested Phil, “we are a couple. Partners, boyfriends…”

“We’re in love,” declared Steve, flushing pink. 

“Nah, you’re pulling my leg.”

Phil resorted to desperate measures, grabbing Steve round the neck and giving him a passionate kiss, squeezing his arse for added effect. 

“Would we do that if we weren't a couple?"

Joe and Sav looked at each other and nodded. “Yes?”

“Definitely,” confirmed Rick.

“You've always done that.”

“Well we've ALWAYS been a couple!” insisted Steve.

That revelation finally shocked everyone into considering it seriously.

“What do you mean always?”

“Err, since we were rehearsing for the Pyro tour. All that time together working out guitar parts. We sort of… grew on each other.”

“Then there was a bottle of Jack Daniels and a hotel room with a really big bathtub…”

“Phil! They do not need to know that!” He looked around the control room. “How did you never even suspect? Sav, you’ve stayed at our flat in Paris - didn't you wonder why we’ve only got one bedroom? And Mutt, you noticed our matching necklaces. And everyone always comments that we spend all our time together.” 

Rick shrugged. “We just thought you were best mates; like Joe and Sav, they're always together.”

“Hmm, maybe there's something they need to tell us too?” mused Phil.

“FUCK NO!” Joe and Sav hollered in unison, leaping six feet apart.

“No offence, mate.”

“None taken. You’re a fine figure of a man, but you’re not my type.”

Joe decided not to think about whether he was flattered by that remark and turned back to the newly-revealed couple. “You’re serious about this?”

“Totally…”

“Like a heart attack.”

“Then congratulations are in order.” Sav stepped forward and gave them both a back-slapping hug. “We should go get drinks to celebrate!”

Joe still looked a little concerned. “Are you gonna be doing that… smoochy stuff… all the time now then?”

“Maybe,” stated Phil defiantly.

“That might take a bit of getting used to, but, okay. Happy for you, mates.”

“Do we have to start playing disco now?” quipped Rick.

“We’re not GAY,” snorted Steve.

“We’re not?” Phil lifted their still-clasped hands.

“All right, we’re a bit gay. But we’re not that gay.”

[lovewithasideoffries]

her sister; his girlfriend - part 2/3

summary: When Y/n gets a phone call finding out about the death of her sister, she's worried. The only thing that could make this situation even worse? When she finds out her 4-year boyfriend, Eddie Munson, is somehow involved.

warning: swearing again, still not proofread

word count: 1598

Part 1

As promised, Y/n burst through the doors of Family Video within the next 5 minutes. Thankfully there were no other customers there at the moment, or else she’s not sure she would’ve been able to spot Dustin and his friends. 

As soon as she saw him, memories of playing DnD with the 7 or 8 year old version of him came rushing back. But the person who really caught her eye was none other than the former-asshole: Steve the Hair Harrington. 

“Hey kiddo, Harrington,” she greeted, her tone switching from light to snarky between the two. “And I’m not sure I’ve had the pleasure of meeting you two.”

“Uh, Robin,” the other Family Video worker introduced herself, and Y/n turned to the redhead.

“I’m Max.” 

“Well, Max, Robin, it’s an honour to make your acquaintance, my name’s Y/n.”

“Right, Dustin said you have a lead for where Eddie is?” Max asked, skipping to the point. 

“Okay, yeah, so, you probably know that Eddie’s a drug dealer-”

“You really downgraded from dating me, Cunningham,” Steve muttered jokingly under his breath, interrupting you. 

“Bitch, you cheated on me and slut-shamed my best friend, I’m pretty sure I could’ve dated literally anyone and it would’ve been an upgrade, shut up.”

“Ookayyy, now I can see why you didn’t want me to call Y/n. Anyways, back to where Eddie is,” Dustin intervenes, not wanting them to get sidetracked. 

“Right, sorry, it was just a joke, I get that, I apologise. I’m just on edge because of… Chrissy,” Y/n explained. “But yeah, Eddie gets his drugs from a guy named Reefer Rick and I’m almost 100% sure that he’s hiding out at his house.”

“Okay, well why not just go to this Reefer Rick’s house then?” Steve questioned. 

“Right, I definitely didn’t think of that, thanks Steve. It’s ‘cause I don’t know where his house is, it’s not like drug dealers are advertising their location to everyone.” 

“Okay, well, did Eddie ever mention this guy’s last name?” Robin asked, starting to pace.

“No, I don’t even think Eds knew his last name. It’s not really something you want to give out during business deals.”

“I bet the cops know his last name,” Steve commented off-handedly. 

“What?” Max said. 

“Cops,” Steve repeated. “I mean, listen, if this Reefer Rick is actually a drug dealer, I guarantee he’s been busted at some point. Means he’s in the system.” 

“The cops? Really, Steve? That’s your suggestion?” Dustin asked. 

“I mean, I just think, at this point, they should probably be filled in on what we know, what’s going on.”

“You think Eddie’s guilty, don’t you?” Dustin accused. 

“Woah, woah, woah! I believe is innocent until proven guilty, all that constitutional shit. I just- you know… just don’t think we can rule it out.”

“That’s precisely what we’re trying to prove here, Steve.” Max said. 

“And maybe, we’d have a little more luck if you spent less time trying to find a girlfriend, and more time trying to find Eddie.” Dustin’s tone started to get a bit angrier. 

“Ok, well somebody has to tend to the customers!” Steve defended.

“Especially if they’re babes, right?” Robin asked, winking. 

“Hey! Not fair, okay? I attend to all customers equally, babes and non-babes alike. We’ve got a very big selection in here, alright? It can be super overwhelming for these people.”

“Yeah, it can be,” Robin smiled to herself. 

“What are you doing?” Y/n asked as Robin turned around and started typing on the computer. 

“Maybe we don’t need a last name,” she replies.

The rest of the group gathers around her, watching as she hits the enter button and 12 different accounts with the first name Rick pop up. 

“12 Ricks have accounts here.”

“That’s a lot of Ricks,” Max comments. 

“So let’s narrow it down.” 

Once the 5 of them had decided which Rick was Reefer Rick, they immediately hurried out into Steve’s car and sped toward the location: 2121 Holland Road. 

Because of Rick Lipton’s house being located in the middle of nowhere, the drive there was long and pretty awkward, with Y/n smushed in the back seat with Dustin and Max. Thank god she wasn’t stuck in the middle seat. 

“So, Dustin, how have you been?” she asked, trying to break the awkward silence. “High school turning out to be not so scary after all?”

“Pretty good I guess, especially now that Eddie’s take us in. Before that it was rough.”

“Oh my god, bullies pick on you?”

“Yeah, fucking Jason decided he wanted to turn his whole basketball team against us.”

“Wait wait wait, Jason Carver?”

“Yeah, you know him?”

“Ugh, unfortunately. He’s dating Chrissy- or… dated Chrissy, I guess.” Y/n’s voice lost its cheerfulness as she was once again reminded that her little sister was gone. The conversation died down after that. 

The rest of the ride was filled with silence, Yn quietly humming as she listened to some music through her headphones, and hushed conversations between Steve and Robin, mostly about someone named Vickie. 

They arrived late at night, and somehow, after getting no sleep for the past 24 hours, Y/n was still up and running. 

Dustin aggressively rang the doorbell, once, twice. And when no one answered, again, knocking a bit too. 

“Okay, well, that’s settled, I guess he’s not here,” Steve said. 

“Eddie! It’s Y/n!” 

“Great,” Steve rolled his eyes. 

“Look we just wanna talk, okay?” Dustin added, ignoring Steve’s annoyed quips. “No cops, I swear, we just wanna help.”

He banged his fist against the door, still ringing the doorbell, as Y/n started travelling around the house, shining her flashlight through every window she found. 

“Reefer Rick!” Dustin shouted.

“Don’t scream that,” Steve reprimanded. 

“Hey, guys?” Y/n called out, the rest of the group going over to see her pointing her flashlight at a rusty old shed. 

The group hurried toward it and timidly circled the shed, until they found the door unlocked.

“Hello?” Robin called out, peeking her head inside and slowly going in. “Is anyone home?”

“What a dump,” Steve commented. 

After a couple minutes of searching, Steve grabbed an oar he found and started attacking a crate covered in a tarp.

“What are you doing?” Y/n glared at him.

“He might be in here.”

“Yeah, okay, and just fucking attacking him is gonna do wonders, Harrington. What the fuck is wrong with you? Just take the tarp off!”

“If you’re so brave, you take the tarp off!”

“Oh my god, Harrington, there’s nothing to be brave about, it’s just Eddie!”

“Okay, right, and you’re sure that ‘just Eddie’ isn’t going to hurt you?”

“Yes, I’m sure!” 

“Hey, look over here,” Max said, the bickering between Y/n and Steve stopped. “Someone was here.” She pointed her flashlight at a table covered in empty bottles and wrappers. 

“Maybe he heard us. Got spooked and ran,” Robin suggested. 

“Don’t worry,” Dustin said sarcastically, “Steve’ll get him with his oar.”

“I know you think you’re being funny Henderson, but considering that almost everyone in this room has nearly died a hundred times, personally, I don’t find it funny in the slighte-” 

Steve was cut off by Eddie jumping out from one of the crates with a broken bottle and pushing him toward the closest wall, glass at his throat.

“Woah woah woah! Eddie! Eddie! Stop!” Dustin screamed. 

“Eddie,” Y/n spoke calmly, keeping herself at a distance, but close enough that he could see her face, “Eds, it’s just me. It’s Y/n, okay? And Dustin, and that’s Steve, you remember Steve right?”

“He’s not gonna hurt you,” Dustin stressed, helping her out, “Right Steve?” 

“Right, yeah,” Steve whispered. 

“Steve, why don’t you drop the oar slowly?” Y/n suggests, groaning when he lets it go and it hits the ground loudly, further startling Eddie. “I said slowly, Harrington!”

“Eddie, Eddie, baby… I promise nobody here wants to hurt you? Okay?”

“What are you doing here?” he asks in a hushed whisper. 

“We’re looking for you. We’re here to help. These are my friends,” Dustin says, “This is Robin, you know Robin from band. This is my friend Max, the one who never wants to play DnD. And, look! It’s Y/n too!”

“Eds, we’re on your side. I promise! I flew down here to help you, Eddie. I swear, all we wanna do is help!” 

It took him a moment, but Eddie gave in. Letting Steve go and walking toward Y/n, his eyes crazed. 

“Hey baby,” she whispered, slowly wrapping her arms around his waist as he plopped his head on to shoulder. His breaths were laboured, and she knew then that he was still in shock. 

Carefully, Y/n brought one hand up to his hair, tangling her fingers between his soft locks. His fingers laced with hers, the hand previously wrapped around his waist clasped tightly with his. 

“Y/n,” he whispered, holding on to her tight. 

“Hi love.”

“You- you don’t think I did it?”

“I know you didn’t do it, Eds. And I wanna know who really did, that’s what we’re tryna figure out here.”

“Right, if you could tell us what happened, maybe it would help us do that?” Robin added in softly. 

Eddie pulls away from his girlfriend’s hold, looking into her eyes. “You won’t believe me,” he says, his voice breaking. 

Y/n looks over Eddie’s shoulder and locks eyes with Dustin. “Do they know?” she mouths, and when he nods, she turns toward her boyfriend. “Try us.” 

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[twh-news]

What is the Multiverse? Five Must-See Alternate Timeline TV Episodes to Watch After ‘Loki’

Look, I get it — multiverse storytelling can be confusing. Marvel’s Loki streaming series is only the latest in a long line of stories that plays fast and loose with the idea of multiple or parallel timelines. Loki follows the God of Mischief (Tom Hiddleston) after he gets involved with the Time Variance Authority, or the TVA, as they try to correct problems in individual timelines. This provides us a chance to see lots of variant Lokis (including our favorite chompy green boy) and opens up opportunities for a lot of zany storytelling that doesn’t necessarily have to impact the primary timeline.

The idea of multiple universes existing at the same time isn’t anything new. Some of the earliest examples date back to Norse mythology, which divided existence into nine worlds. DC Comics first introduced the idea of the DC multiverse in its comics in All Star Comics #3 in 1940, and Marvel later followed suit, starting with their What if? series in the 1970s. While the concept of parallel universes might feel a little daunting to contemplate on your own, these five television episodes will help you understand the magic of the multiverse.

“The Parallel” — The Twilight Zone

When it comes to television that changed the way we think, Rod Serling‘s The Twilight Zone is the forebear of them all. The original series ran from 1959 to 1964 and contained stories from science fiction greats like Ray Bradbury (Farhenheit 451) and  Richard Matheson (I Am Legend). Each episode in the anthology series told a different short story, most with the intent of exploring some political or social allegory.

In 1963’s “The Parallel”, Major Robert Gaines (Steve Forrest) is orbiting earth in his space capsule when he suddenly blacks out and wakes up on Earth with no memory of how he got there. He’s uninjured, but the world he’s arrived in doesn’t quite match the one he left. His daughter suspects he’s someone else, his house suddenly has a white picket fence that his wife swears has always been there, and everyone keeps calling him Colonel, which matches his uniform but not his memories. He’s a little shaken until he comes to the conclusion that he’s in a parallel universe, and then takes steps to get back to his own timeline.

“The Parallel” marks the first instance of multiverse storytelling on TV. It doesn’t do anything particularly groundbreaking and is a middle-of-the-road The Twilight Zone episode, but it’s the first, which means it paved the way for everyone else to tell TV stories about parallel universes and doppelgangers.

“Mirror Mirror”/”Crossover” — Star Trek/Star Trek Deep Space Nine

Did I say doppelgangers? If there’s one franchise that has capitalized on the potential fun of meeting your alternate self, it’s Star Trek. In the “Mirror Mirror” episode of the original series, a teleporter mishap sends Kirk, McCoy, Scotty, and Uhura to a parallel dimension where everything is reversed. The Federation has become an evil Empire, Kirk is a tyrant, and Spock has a goatee (that’s how you know he’s evil). The episode started several tropes about doppelgangers (including the whole goatee thing), and paved the way for future Star Trek iterations to really go wild with the Mirror Universe.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine explored the Mirror Universe more than any other Star Trek series, with stories taking place there over five different episodes. The first of these, “Crossover,” is the most important and sets the stage for the later mirror episodes. In “Crossover,” Major Kira (Nana Visitor) and Doctor Bashir (Alexander Siddig) have an accident inside of the wormhole near the planet Bajor, sending them to the Mirror Universe. It’s been decades since Kirk and co. crossed over, but things are still pretty backwards in the Mirrorverse. Instead of the Federation, there’s a coalition between the Klingons, Cardassians, and Bajorans. Terrans (a fancy word for Earthlings) have been enslaved. The space station Deep Space Nine is instead a mining operation, run by the alternate Kira, the Intendant.

There are few things in the world as enjoyable as watching Visitor play her double role. The entire cast really gets to go for it with their Mirrorverse personas, and you can tell they’re having a blast. The Mirror Universe in Deep Space Nine gave the actors a chance to explore their characters in new ways, and it provided more insight into their individual pathos. Sure, the Mirrorverse versions were the “evil” versions of themselves, but there were still versions of themselves. Kira is a strong leader with a dry sense of humor, regardless of whether she’s the former Bajoran freedom fighter or the Intendant. “Crossover” set up the following four Deep Space Nine Mirror episodes, including episodes where Captain Sisko (Avery Brooks) must pretend to be his doppelganger and deal with the fact that his dead wife is still very alive in the parallel universe. Some of the episodes are silly fun, and some are a bit more heady, but they all get to explore sides of these characters that we’ve never seen before.

“Remedial Chaos Theory” — Community

The NBC sitcom Community frequently made its own riffs on popular tropes, and it had an utter field day with parallel universes. In the season 3 episode, “Remedial Chaos Theory,” viewers are treated to seeing six different ways the same evening could have played out. The friends, who met in a Spanish study group at their community college, are all celebrating Troy (Donald Glover) and Abed (Danny Pudi) moving into a new apartment. When the pizza arrives, group leader Jeff (Joel McHale) suggests they roll dice to see who has to go get the pizza. Abed, who is sensitive to tropes, points out that Jeff is creating new timelines by introducing chance, and then we get to see each of them play out.

What “Remedial Chaos Theory” does is brilliant. It’s a bottle episode, all set in one location with no visible impact on the overall plot. However, by seeing how the situations change each time a single character is removed from the group dynamic, we’re able to learn so much more about the group as a whole. The episode gives us insight into the characters and their relationships by changing up the formula just a pinch and removing one element. In the Darkest Timeline, which leaves Pierce (Chevy Chase) dead and severely maims the rest of the group, it’s revealed that things fall apart without Troy in the mix. At the end of the episode, the prime timeline continues and it’s Jeff who has to go get the pizza. This ends up being the most positive of the timelines, which means maybe the group is better off without Jeff at all. It’s a great piece of character storytelling and even ends with the Darkest Timeline versions of Troy and Abed making felt goatees for themselves before declaring they are Evil Troy and Evil Abed.

“Rixty Minutes” – Rick and Morty

Community showrunner Dan Harmon clearly has a love for stories involving parallel timelines, so it’s no surprise that he expanded on those ideas in Rick and Morty, the adult animated series he developed with Justin Roiland. Rick and Morty is a kind of Back to the Future for twisted adults; it follows the adventures of alcoholic mad scientist Rick Sanchez (Roiland) and his hapless grandson Morty Smith (also Roiland) as they travel through space and time. In the first season episode “Rixty Minutes,” Rick introduces the entire Smith family to the many parallel timelines that exist. He and Morty watch Interdimensional Cable in the A plot, which gives Roiland a chance for lots of fun improvisational gags, but the B plot is more interesting. In order to enjoy his cable watching, Rick gives Morty’s parents and sister a helmet that will let them see through the eyes of some of their alternate selves.

Jerry (Chris Parnell) finds a version of himself that’s a huge Hollywood player who parties with Johnny Depp. Beth (Sarah Chalke) finds a reality where she’s not a horse surgeon, but a human surgeon, like she always wanted. Their teenage daughter Summer (Spencer Grammar) discovers that she was an unplanned pregnancy and that her parents argued about whether or not to get an abortion. In the parallel universes, she either doesn’t exist or her life is hopelessly boring. This leads to a pretty massive existential crisis, but she’s stopped by Morty, who has already had his fair share of timey-wimey weirdness.

Morty takes Summer upstairs and shows her two dirt mounds in the backyard. He explains that he’s not the Morty from this timeline, and that he and Rick had to come here after things in their timeline got too bad. The Rick and Morty in this timeline had just died, so they slipped in unnoticed. Then, Morty gives Summer a bit of advice that shows he’s beginning to grow up a bit on his madcap adventures.

“Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody’s gonna die. Come watch TV?” he pleads.

The episode ends with the entire Smith family realizing that dwelling on possible alternate realities will only ever cause problems. It’s a testament to living in the here and now, and is one of the series’ most emotionally resounding moments.

There are dozens of shows with multiverse stories out there, from ’90s sci-fi staple Sliders to the later seasons of Supernatural. These five, however, helped expand upon the trope as a whole, and are worth checking out to improve your pop culture savvy. That, and they’re just a lot of fun.

[guymaito]

For the ask thing :3:

Top 5 animals? Top 5 fav/comfort movies? Top 5 fav cartoons/shows?

I’m honestly glad to know theres other people including you who actually like Pakku and his character :3 Yes he was a completely asshole at the start but he did change, it’s just that it was so subtle that not everyone saw it

Also random song associations with characters:

Fighter by Jack Stauber reminds me very well of Piandao, Pakku, and Jeong Jeong as their younger selves during the war.

Why do I associate Grace by Lewis Capaldi with Bumi? (the music video tho would give more context to why it might make sense)

Oh Klahoma by Jack Stauber reminds me of Piandao and his overall anxieties for his partners.

Consider some of these songs as sorta song recs? Idk but still :3

1. Giraffes!! the reason why their tongues look like That is cause of extra melanin and to prevent sunburn!!

2. Seals!! there are 33 different kinds of pinnipeds and there over 50 extinct pinnipeds

3. Dogs!! they can only see in shades of blue and yellow, so bright red roses look yellowish brown and lively green grass look dehydrated and dead

4. Crows!! a group of them are called a murder

5. Cows!! they’re actually colorblind, they can’t see red specifically, so male cows, bulls aren’t getting mad at the color, they’re getting angry at the movement

1. The Losers movie from 2010, it’s a action mystery movie about Clay and his team that are a part of an elite US Special Forces Unit and are approached by a mysterious woman to exact revenge on their handler, Max, who betrayed them and just,,,the characters, CHRIS EVANS, jake jensen and all of his kinda weird glory, THE ELEVATOR SCENE, also cougar!!

2. Captain America and The Winter Soldier movie, it’s a action movie, which makes me realize that a lot of my faves are prolly gonna be action something, but anyways, it’s about Steve Rogers, who now lives in the nation's capital as he tries to adjust to modern times. An attack on a S.H.I.E.L.D. colleague throws Rogers into a web of intrigue that places the whole world at risk. Joining forces with the Black Widow, Natasha Romanov, and a new ally, Sam Wilson, Steve struggles to expose an ever-widening conspiracy, but he and his team soon come up against an unexpected enemy. oh my god,,,just,,,the fight scenes, the running scene at the beginning of the movie, steve meeting sam that way, just everything!! this was also my introduction to marvel so in my mind no other marvel movie can live up to this (other than spiderman away from home)

3. Spiderman Far from Home, again, it’s a action movie, i’m not gonna explain this cause the post is getting long, but!! mj and peter!! just,,,all of their scenes!! also jake gyllenhaal!! the fight scenes!! the soundtrack!! everything about it is amazing!!

4. Thunderforce, again, i’m not gonna explain, it’s an action adventure and comedy movie (ofc it is look at the other 3 🙄 /s), the relationship between lydia and emily!! the relationship between lydia and emily’s daughter!! the humor!! the fight scenes!! the soundtrack!!,,,,just everything about is good despite the bad ratings

that’s more like a top 4 than a top 5 but that’s like,,,,all the movies i genuinely like and will rewatch if given the chance and for that where’s a honorable mention: Hamilton (the movie version on disney+ that came out i think nearly a year ago), the soundtrack is amazing, the characters are better, got some funny moments and is mostly historically accurate, like yeah angelica did forget her name cause at the time of her meeting alex ham, she was married to a man named john church (or something church idk) so her last name was church but she introduced herself to alexander as angelica schuyler, not angelica church, so in satisfied she was telling the truth about forgetting her own name, but in the same song she said that her father had no sons even though the real angelica had 3 brothers.

1. Avatar the last Airbender, ofc or else i would have a blog (mostly) centered around it and it’s sequel /s but fr though?? it’s such a good show!! zuko’s redemption arc, iroh’s redemption arc (even though his more subtle than zuko’s) , aang!! love him and his character so much, especially when he gets to be a sassy little shit, sokka and his shit humor and brains, katara, toph, hakoda and HIS shit humor, the fight scene with hakoda (he fights kinda like a waterbender, using his opponent’s momentum against them), bato and his lovely, lovely voice, piandao, aang going ‘how about he get on YOUR back and you can fly us to the south pole’ or something like that to sokka after he complained about appa not flying higher, the boiling rock episodes, hakoda apparently being a good dad but a shitty prison riot starter (love that for him), just!! atla is such a good ass show, im not changing my mind. also!! i like the way they introduced ozai, not showing his face but still presenting him as not only a shit dad, but a shit person as well, like up until book three, we only saw him like, the neck down and in like, a flashback or two (i don’t really remember how many flashbacks ozai was in actually cause it’s nearly been a full year since i last watched it) and that’s it, so it made seeing his face for the first time all the more better cause you was already like ‘what the hell does this shitbag look like’ and then you see him and now ur like ‘oh!! THATS what he looks like!!’

2. The Legend of Korra, again, ofc or else i wouldn’t have a blog (mostly) centered around it and it’s prequel, just,,,,korra’s arc from being hot headed to calm is fantastic but also sad considering the way she went from that to this, korra’s book 1 character!! for whatever reason i really like b1 korra, just,,her design, her hair style (even though she had it for nearly the entire series) just!!! book 1 korra <3, also the entirety of book 1!! just amon posing as a anti bender nonbender despite being a waterbender himself, the scene where tenzin and his kids nearly lost their bending, which would’ve meant that, if tenzin did lose his bending but his kids didn’t, that would’ve meant the strongest airbender would’ve been his 11 year old daughter, the gruesome way to end the season finale episode by doing a murder suicide which was dark as fuck for what?? a kids show??, also the villains in this show!! their good as hell!! the backstory of the red lotus and how and why they were created?? amon and his anti bending?? kuvira and her plan to basically rule the earth kingdom (idk i haven’t finished book 4), unalaq and his spiritual stuff and wanting to become a dark avatar and fusing with vaatu?? also!! the other disturbing scene of korra basically getting tortured near the end of book 3, i mean?? it deadass left her hella traumatized and unable to walk, again hella dark for a fucking kids show

3. The Walking Dead, even though i haven’t finished it or watched in like, 4-5 months, i just,,,the way the presented negan!! practically foreshadowing him the entirety of season 6!! him appearing at the very end of the season 6 finale and pretty much having an entire episode dedicated to him in the very beginning of season 7 (which is why some fans argue he was introduced in s7 not s6 cause of the fact that he didn’t show up until the very end of the s6 finale but had an entire episode with him in it in s7, while others say vice versa cause the very the first time we see him was in s6 not s7), the fact that the walking dead logo was getting progressively more and more decayed as the series go on?? the fact that the WALKERS (the zombies) are getting more and more decayed as the series go on?? dale’s death scene?? shane’s death scene?? negan’s relationship with rick’s daughter?? the fact that this show also has what?? 11, 12 seasons?? which reminds me that i’m still on season 9 of twd

4. Sabrina the Teenage Witch, just,,,salem and his sarcasm?? sabrina’s aunts?? sabrina herself?? just!! everyone is just so fucking funny in this show it’s unreal, specially salem!! a lot of my favorite scenes have salem in them, the ‘are you on a women’s chat room again?’ (or something like that) and salem saying ‘i like the attention’ in response, that one harvey and salem scene that i don’t know how to describe without turning this into a giant paragraph like the ones before this one

5. blue’s clues, it was my favorite childhood show and i love the reboot of it so much!! especially p for pride moment in that song i don’t remember the name of, blue themself!! steve leaving which was sad but getting an equally amazing host in the process?? amazing!! the scene where salt and pepper introduced their baby, paprika?? just,,,it’s such good show and i loved it when i was younger and i still love it now!!

[shellheadtm-a]

know your 616 tony stark - steve rogers edition

originally i was going to group these by groups but the avengers are so large i'm gonna just do...posts for everyone.  especially steve.  there's just too much between these two for me to ever keep it to a blurb, and that relationship is super different in 616 and why is also important.

this is gonna get real long.  strap in.

if you've been here a while you know this story:  so, unlike the mcu, where steve was found and thawed by shield, a newly-formed avengers (consisting of iron man, the wasp, giant man, and thor) went looking for the hulk on a rampage, and happened to stumble across a body floating in arctic waters and pulled it into their sub to have a better look at it.  they didn't expect the dude to be alive, but as he thawed, they realized he was breathing.  more than that, they realized that his clothes - old army olive drabs - had been shredded, and underneath was the red, white, and blue of the fabled wwii war hero, captain america, along with his shield.

sidenote:  tony stark considers this day (canonically) to be the best day of his life.  the day they found steve in the ice is his best memory, his little injured fanboy heart went pitter patter at the very idea of captain america being on their sub and being alive after all that time.

so, to continue our story:  steve woke up and flipped out and had to be subdued before they got him calm down and got to talking, and they decided he was more than welcome to come back to new york with them.  after some adventures of steve's own - the avengers being turned into statues, getting shot, meeting rick jones (professional hero sidekick), finding the alien who turned the avengers into stone, and fighting namor the sub-mariner - steve was made an avenger and the rest is history.

unfortunately, it's...a lot of history.  so let's look at the differences.

iron man and captain america were immediately friends.  there was no animosity there, iron man very quickly became the solid grounding force in steve's life at the time, because iron man was pretty down to earth and charming and funny for a robot (full disclosure, tony kept a secret identity and claimed iron man was his bodyguard).  it's a joke that tony and steve always touch each other unnecessarily all the time always but the reason it's a joke is because it's true.  it started literally immediately after steve got out of the ice.  tony stark gave steve a home in that not only did he open his house on 890 fifth avenue to the steve (it was the avengers' meeting place), he took him on a date tried get up him up to date with the present day.  radiohead is forever going to be an inside joke between them.  no i'm not actually going to explain that.  just know that the band radiohead definitely has a meaning for both them.

the animosity that happens between the two of them is because they both have tempers and are stubborn.  not because they don't like each other.  they love each other, this is fact.  they are literally attached at the hip when they're not swinging at each other, and them swinging at each other is super rare, actually!  tony's one of the people in steve's life that will call him out when he's being stupid about something (the captain america mythos is strong and tony's both not over it and over it - he's come to value steve a hell of a lot more than captain america and he's not afraid to let steve - his best friend - know when he's being a dumbass).  steve makes tony want to do and be better, to be someone steve can be proud of.  they're a duo.  they work best as a united pair and with being on the same page.  they're the mom and dad of the avengers and everyone knows it.  steve's the disappointed gives you a lecture parent, tony's the stand there behind steve and frown and reel steve in when he gets carried away parent.  i'm not even joking a little bit about this, this is what they do.  they're a two man show.

they communicate in looks and finish each other's thoughts and sentences.  it's part because they're part of that generation of avengers teams that were all super close like a family and literally lived together, and part just plain steve and tony.  they do this thing where there can literally be a party going on and everyone else is milling around socializing and they'll have themselves in a corner and talk to each other only, like they're the only people in the room.  they do that in front of other people in other situations.  they fill in the blanks for each other when they talk to other people together.  it's sure as shit a thing you have to witness for yourself.

the nicknames tony gives steve aren't derisive.  instead, he's a big fan of things like beloved.  captain handsome.  winghead.  he occasionally throws out an old man, but even that's affectionate instead of acerbic.  he likes to talk about how pretty steve's eyes are.  the only times he refers to steve as rogers is when things are literally going to shit between them, which, again, is less often than you think.  tony and steve are best friends.  if they're not speaking, the world is out of balance.  all of these things are part of the tony and steve displays of affection with each other, when including the fact that they are touchy.  like i could literally dig through the comics and find plenty of times where there have been shoulder squeezes, the way they'll guide each other with a hand on the back, neck squeezes.  that's just tony and steve.  it's how they are.  there's normally none of this standoffishness.  they are, in the end, physically and emotionally very close.

they love each other.  however you want to read it, that is fact.  that is canon.  whether you want to look at it as them hovering in some weird space that's more than friends and never taking that last step, as one side being unrequited on a romantic front, as it being strictly platonic, whatever.  they still love each other.  it's not some tsundere thing, literally everyone knows they care a lot about each other.  like a lot of you know, a lot of you are new, but some of you may not be aware of how during civil war, steve literally died in 616.  well.  not literally.  more like got forced through time but for all practical purposes he was dead.  and tony immediately fell the fuck apart.  couldn't even give steve's eulogy, he broke down right there at the podium.  if you've never read the confession, you should, that's about as solid of a love confession as you're ever actually gonna see, probably, of tony sitting in a room with steve's body sobbing his heart out explaining his reasoning for what he's done.  because steve's death is the one thing!  he cannot live with.  and he is a mess until he goes on his brain delete world tour.  there's a whole secret funeral with just tony, jan, and hank (well, skrull-hank but they think it's hank), the last of the original avengers still standing, where they found steve in the ice.  just...he was a mess.  and it didn't get better at all for a...super long time.  (they're in a much better place with each other again finally and it's good to see and i love my boys.)

when they fight it's usually due to hurt feelings on both sides because they are both shit at using their words.  and tony's usually the guilty party that's been lying.  lying is a defense mechanism for tony.  it's something he's trained himself to do after years of abuse.  which is kinda funny (in a sad way) because steve actually had a Not Great Childhood with an abusive alcoholic father, too, they just coped in two separate directions.  but tony likes to hide things, pretend like everything is great, everything is peachy, he can do it On His Own, and steve gets angry, every single time, because together things might have turned out differently, and also there's some jealousy occasionally mixed into that (read: finding out about the illuminati) and they just...they're very intense.  their relationship is very intense.  and they can argue and fight and disagree on all kinds of things but at the end of the day...tony still loves steve, and steve still loves tony.

steve is tony's moral rudder.  this isn't me talking shit, tony literally says so.  steve is tony's north star, the one he follows to guide him in the right direction.  what would steve rogers do is literally his mantra.  and this isn't a new thing, tony's been a cap fan from when he was very small.  he has an entire collection of captain america memorabilia that he's been gathering since before he ever became iron man.  so it definitely predates him meeting steve for real.  he decorates with steve's face (okay, and the other avengers, too, there's always plenty of artwork and photos of the teams hanging on the walls).  he keeps a picture of steve in his office the way most people do their significant others.  he just really loves and admires steve a whole lot, and it's only intensified in the time they've known each other and been friends, and steve's friendship is literally the most important thing in the world for tony, period.  even when they disagree.  especially when they disagree.  and tony would trade his life for steve's without even thinking.  has tried to.  the red zone story arc is a prime example, because tony willingly exposed himself to a biochemical agent that worked as flesh eating bacteria on steroids to give steve mouth to mouth to keep him alive, essentially thinking he was trading his own life for steve's and being fine with that decision because "captain america's more important than you."  obviously they both survived, but nothing hurts more than seeing steve cradle tony's head in his lap while tony's dying, knowing tony willingly exposed himself for steve.

tony would probably have left the avengers ages ago if not for steve.  he'd have let the dream die after avengers disassembled (which, for the unfamiliar, is when wanda destroyed the mansion and house of m happened and some of the team died and tony just didn't have the money to rebuild and keep them going).  steve basically gently bullied him into starting a team with him after the breakout at the raft (a bunch of superpowered criminals got loose).  he definitely wasn't going to join again after siege and reluctantly let steve talk him into it (even though i think a break there would have been good for him).  he built the avengers machine for steve, to center around steve, because i believe he fully intended to either not survive or to in some way no longer be a part of the avengers.  he let steve and thor talk him into starting another new team (the current one).

for tony, steve is the important part of captain america.  and it's been that way since they first became friends.  steve constantly amazes him, makes him want to try harder, live up to who steve thinks tony is.  he stumbles a lot, he's only human, but steve's opinion of him is so, so important, and when they're on the outs tony's whole world just falls apart.  but more than that, steve's not just...he's not the serum to tony.  steve could be deserumed and scrawny and have a host of health issues like he once did and it wouldn't matter a single fucking bit to tony, steve will still be steve for him, because it's not captain america that's made steve a hero, it's steve that's made captain america a beacon of hope.  that's all steve.  and tony will also do everything in his power to get steve what he needs, help him when he needs it, will drop literally everything immediately to do anything steve asks.  the rules tony may have in place with other people do not apply to steve.  the exoskeleton he built steve, when the serum was failing and steve was basically dying, broke all of tony’s rules about his tech, and he did it willingly, without a second thought, because it was for steve.  the idea of someone ever telling steve the only thing that makes him special came out of a bottle would have tony ready to fucking fight.

tony knows all the little things about steve you typically do know about your best friend.  the bagel thing always comes up, so you know.  tony absolutely knows steve's favorite bagel flavor.  they can probably recite the way they both take their coffee by heart without thinking about it.  dean harassed me with it like at some point earlier, but there's a thing samnee did that was basically the steve and tony dynamic in a nutshell.  i mean ffs, folks, tony literally.  canonically.  has stolen clothes from steve, he's absolutely got one of steve's blue with the white star tshirts.

in retrospect this all sounds way, way less than platonic but i literally cannot make this shit up.

point is:  in this case, steve is probably his most influential and important relationship.  i'm not saying at all that there aren't others that have their own extreme importance; there are.  rhodey, carol, pepper, happy, nat, clint, thor, bruce, all the people you know from the mcu are all very important to him.  but steve and tony are...intense.  very intense.  and at the same time so absolutely effortless when they're not opposed on the important things.  steve is tony's best friend, full stop.  if tony possibly feels more than that...well, you're allowed to draw your own conclusions?  but uh.  intense.  they act as one another's anchor, they're home.

[recentanimenews]

FEATURE SERIES: My Favorite One Piece Arc with Steve Yurko

  I love One Piece and I love talking to people who love One Piece. And with the series going on 23 years now, there is a whole lot to talk about. As the series is about to publish its 1000th chapter, a true feat in and of itself, we thought we should reflect upon the high-seas adventure and sit down with some notable names in the One Piece fan community and chat about the arcs they found to be especially important, or just ones they really, really liked.

  Welcome to the next article in the series "My Favorite One Piece Arc!"

  My next guest in this series is Steve Yurko, co-host of The One Piece Podcast, a podcast with a subject you can probably guess. He's also a former storyboard artist for Rick & Morty and is currently working for Netflix Animation. As a ride-or-die Sanji fan, Steve chose the Baratie Arc, where Luffy and the gang run into an East Blue restaurant with a cool chef that loves to cook and kick.

  A note on spoilers: If you haven't seen the Baratie arc yet, this interview does contain major plot points. Watch the Arlong Park arc starting RIGHT HERE if you'd like to catch up or rewatch!

    Dan Dockery: So a friend tells you, "I'm done with the Syrup Village arc and I'm not sure if I want to watch this next one. I think I might be tapped out on this whole One Piece thing. In one sentence, how do you get them to stay and watch the Baratie arc?

  Steve Yurko: The Baratie arc laid down the foundation and created the formula of the One Piece arc as we know it.

  That's pretty good!

  Yeah, I’d say that, when I first started it, One Piece was my third favorite. I was more of a fan of series like Shaman King and Naruto, but after Baratie, things shifted. It was a turning point for me. I would hope that it would do the same for anyone who’s, say, previously apathetic towards the series.

    How old were you when you first read it? Or watched it?

  It feels weird to say this, but my introduction to One Piece was Chapter 1. Like Dragon Ball Z, the first episode I can remember watching was, like, Yamcha training on King Kai’s planet, and I’d get Goku and Yamcha confused and stuff, because I had just dived in. So for me to start a story like One Piece from the beginning is kind of rare. I was 15, I think.

  So, we're jumping into Baratie, and we first see the guy with the brass knuckles, Fullbody. He's trying to act cool on a date and he's being mean to everyone else. And then we have Sanji being typical Cool Sanji and Fullbody acts up and Sanji just tears through him. How did you react? Did you know immediately that you'd like this waiter?

  Well, I don't want to alarm you here, but my first thought was “Sanji’s cool!” I’d seen images of him before, and I saw his black suit and blond hair and I figured, “Oh, another crew member, probably. Looks distinct enough.” So I often have to look back and wonder “Did I like him because of his edgy coolness?” but I think now it’s because there were more layers to him. Like, he definitely stands out from the other Straw Hats, but he also has this distinct fighting style with cool reasoning. He’s a cook and he doesn’t want to bust up his hands trying to punch people in the face, so he uses his feet. So, he does like these cool capoeira kicks, which only gets better as they go along because I feel like so many anime characters, the stronger they get, the more they start to fight the same with fast volleys of punches and laser blasts. So Sanji’s kicks are a great way to differentiate himself from the main cast and other anime heroes. 

  So, then we have Luffy, he shows up by damaging the Baratie. Enter: Zeff. Full disclosure: In my infinite naivete when I first watched One Piece, I thought Zeff was going to be the new crew member. And then I thought Gin was going to join the Straw Hat crew. And then when Sanji finally joined, I was like, "This guy? Really? Dark horse candidate over here."

  You didn’t know yet?

    I guess I hadn't watched the first ED yet — when the crew slowly shows up and stands beside one another.

  You saw Usopp’s silhouette appear and thought, “Eh, I’ve seen enough.”

  "That must be all of them."

  It happens.

  So, you meet Zeff, and you learn about Sanji and Zeff's relationship, and we get a big One Piece flashback. What do you think of that? Because it would become a staple of the series to kinda pause, see what happened to an important guy, and then come back.

  Such an incredible story and so gruesome and terrifying. Sanji’s original flashback is so underrated because it could happen to anyone! Like, you’d have to go out of your way to get stranded on an island, but going days and weeks without food or any real comfort? I think people underestimate how traumatizing that would be. And then Zeff losing his leg because he hacked it off for food, it’s brutal. Just thinkin’ about that, I feel it in my shins. Because that almost happened to me with a minor injury. I let a minor injury get infected, and I could’ve been close to losing a leg.

    Wait, what? Gahd.

  I was doing box jumps at a gym, and my shin hit the corner of this wooden crate.

  Yeah, those things have no give in them.

  Absolutely. And at the time, I thought it was just this dark spot on my shin. And I figured it was, ya know a bruise. So I let it be. And then I picked at the scab and I realized “Wow, that’s a little deeper than I thought. I guess I’ll go to the doctor if it gets worse.” And I kept going to the gym, wearing pants over like this open wound. And my left leg is so swollen. So I went to two different doctors, as the first one did tests and then sent me to another one. And when this doctor saw me, the look on her face said “Oh, this is bad.” So I laughed out loud about how dumb I was and the doctor turned to me and said “This isn’t funny. This IS SERIOUS.” It had gotten infected with bacteria and it was spreading, and she just took a sharpie and drew around the infected area, and gave me antibiotics and was like “You have to keep this elevated, and if the redness goes outside of this line, go to the hospital.” But luckily, I recovered, even though the doctors were like “Honestly, we thought you’d go to the hospital.” So when Zeff severs his foot with a rock, how does anyone not feel that? 

  Do you think that's one of the reasons Luffy is fascinated by Sanji at first? His mentor, Shanks, lost his arm and was cool about it. Zeff lost his leg and was cool about it. Basically twins.

  That’d be an interesting conversation that we never got to see. Just two dudes talking about how weird it is that both their father figures did that, with only Luffy thinking it’s cool. 

    Don Krieg's ship gets blown in half by an incomprehensibly cool character, Mihawk, the first Warlord to appear in the show. You see Mihawk arrive — what is your reaction to him? Because it's not a case of "The villain of the villain is my friend," but rather "Oh, he did that to the villain? I hope he does not do that to us, as that would suck."

  It’s almost like the good guys meeting the bad guys, and then a tornado comes in. But here’s the thing: I missed the issue of Jump where Zoro fought Mihawk. So I assumed that Zoro had just won. The greatest swordsman in the world shows up and Zoro beats him. Boom. The climax of his character arc has been achieved. Nothing left for Zoro. 

  He just did it.

  I didn’t find out until so much later that Zoro lost. I wasn’t quite aware of what made for a captivating story yet. At that time, an obstacle appears, an obstacle gets taken out, ya move on. I almost want to apologize to Mihawk. 

  I love how One Piece does this though. They do it with Smoker and Aokiji and the like. It reminds me of The Witcher III when you go off the path a little bit, and you're at a Level 4 and then a Level 39 Gryphon swoops down and decapitates you. It keeps the "power levels" interesting.

  Luffy starts up Breath of the Wild and goes right for Calamity Ganon. But Mihawk is like the analogy for the Grand Line. He represents it, without revealing too much. Mihawk is like a Pizza Hut demo disc of danger.

  I really like that. And no one knows, to this day, exactly how powerful he is. Over 20 years later, and we're still wondering how he matches up against Shanks or Blackbeard or whatever. One Piece has so many characters where Oda hasn't shown his full hand in regards to them, yet we're totally emotionally invested in them. That's good storytelling.

  He’s doing something right. And I love that Mihawk has a little character arc here, too, where he shows up nonchalantly slicing up Krieg’s ships, probably doesn’t expect much, and then he’s taken aback by Zoro’s gusto, because he hasn’t seen anyone like that in a while. And he slices Zoro down. But he respects him, when in the beginning, he clearly didn’t respect anyone around. Mihawk wants to see him be better and try to take him down one day. For him to willingly build someone up like that is rare. Like Frieza wouldn’t do that.

    So, Don Krieg — what were your opinions of him at the time? Because he's a really bad guy surrounded by more morally grey guys like Mihawk and Gin.

  What I like about the East Blue saga is that every main villain is an antithesis of Luffy and what makes Luffy a truly great captain. Buggy is all about treasure. Kuro is about ambition and the fortitude to be a pirate. Krieg is about might and strength, and Krieg thinks he has both of those because of his weapons and armor. But Luffy has willpower and ambition and doesn’t let the world change his views. Luffy is incorruptible whereas Krieg is willing to poison his own crew when stuff starts going south. Krieg isn’t fondly remembered, but he really serves his purpose in the story.

  So, after Krieg is defeated, Sanji turns down Luffy's offer to join the Straw Hat crew. Now, he knows this is a bad idea. He's not gonna find the All Blue floating around on the Baratie. Why doesn't he go immediately?

  Well, he knows it’s a bad idea but he’s completely misinterpreting Zeff’s sacrifice. He feels that since Zeff sacrificed his leg, he has to repay him by working for him indefinitely. But the reason that Zeff did that was because he wants Sanji to live on and chase his dream. That’s why Zeff took pity on him in the first place. He’s an older, worn-down man now, and he stopped chasing his dream. And now he wants to see Sanji or someone get a win. It lifts his spirit to see Sanji and live kinda vicariously through him. 

  So, the second time I ever cried over One Piece was during Sanji's goodbye and Zeff's "Don't catch a cold." The first time was when that little dog was trying to protect his dead owner's shop in Orange Town, but that's a different story. But this shot of Sanji on his knees thanking Zeff with all the cooks surrounding them is so iconic, and Sanji's acting like it's a gift that Zeff gave him that Sanji could never repay, while as you said, Zeff just wants Sanji to be happy. What did you get out of that? I assume that you're a human with human emotions.

  I cry every time I watch that. When I first saw it, I was like “How? How is a series this good?” And there’s so much to that ending sequence. Because the Baratie is built on this rough, angry masculinity. Just these dudes being mean and fighting each other and customers all the time. There’s never a time or a place for lending a shoulder to someone else. No emotional embraces of any kind. Just everyone berating everyone. No one can open up — just stupid man babies. And then you get to this moment where Sanji is leaving and they’re all trying to be cool while playing it off. Especially Zeff, who can’t give a legitimate goodbye, but rather a “Don’t catch a cold.” But there’s so much to that statement and the facade crumbles. All these grown men start bawling. 

    I've never thought about it that way. There's all these little hints of kindness, like feeding the bad guys, and it's a masculinity powder keg. And then Sanji, in an ultimate display of putting his heart out there, bows to the man who saved him and the keg explodes. That's really cool.

  ONE PIECE LIGHTNING ROUND!

  Favorite One Piece character?

  Sanji

  Favorite One Piece villain?

  Enel

  Favorite One Piece moment?

  March to Arlong Park

  Favorite Straw Hat Crew pairing?

  Luffy and Zoro

  Favorite moment of the new Wano anime arc?

  Soba Mask’s debut

  If you could eat one Devil Fruit, what would it be?

  Whatever Kanjuro’s fruit is

  Moment that made you cry the hardest?

  Sanji leaving the Baratie

  Moment that made you cheer the loudest?

  Straw Hats at the Tower of Justice standing across from Robin

  One Piece location that you'd like to live in?

  Whole Cake Island. Ya eat well, ya know, you can survive Big Mom

  Favorite fight scene?

  Sanji vs Mr. 2, of course

      Stay tuned for the next installment of "My Favorite One Piece Arc" as we speak with Botchamania creator Maffew about his favorite One Piece arc: Alabasta!!

        Daniel Dockery is a Senior Staff Writer for Crunchyroll. Follow him on Twitter!

  Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features.

By: Daniel Dockery

[mucky-puddler]

Once Upon A Time In Hollywood and reaping the rewards of research

First of all, spoilers for the film named above. Also, a disclaimer about words said - they are all mine own opinion, don’t come after me, just let me have this

So I saw my first Tarantino film recently, and I have a few thoughts. This is about to get really confusing so buckle up.

Let me give y’all an overview of the film. From the trailer, Once Upon A Time In Hollywood looked like a movie about a struggling movie star - set in 60′s, I got a lot of Texas/western vibes, regardless of the types of films we can see being produced throughout this film (told you).  Leonardo DiCaprio appears to be the lead with Brad Pitt as the brother-from-another-mother (whom I presumed would be given the romantic sub-plot, but more on that later). Oh and Margot Robbie is also there - she too plays an actor, but in a different film to DiCaprio...in the film trailer...yeah, that makes sense.

Being the terrible film studies student that I am, I decided that this will be my first Tarantino film. I’ve heard good things about him and have been recommended some of his earlier pieces of work like Kill Bill and Pulp Fiction, so I thought I would dip my toes in with the one that was in cinemas - Once Upon A Time In Hollywood.

So about 2/3 of the way through this film, with my M’n’Ms all gone and after leaving the theatre to buy some water, I had a thought come to me - nothing is happening. There is no plot. This film is made up of a series of moments that have been filmed nicely. I got bored - so bored, in fact, that my film brain kicked in and made me realise that there was no plot. Throughout the remainder of the film, I was searching - for meaning, for foreshadowing, for anything at all. I saw potential in a lot of these moments - where Brad Pitt’s (Cliff Booth) and Margaret Qualley’s (Pussycat) characters finally meet and visit an old filming location where Pussycat lives, or where Leonardo DiCaprio’s character (Rick Dalton) shares a moment with a child actor (will go into these scenes more later maybe), but there was very little connecting them together. Also, Rick and Margot Robbie’s character (Sharon Tate) never meet until the last few minutes!

Above is a diagram I have become extremely familiar with - I don’t know if it has a fancy name or anything but it essentially maps out the amount of tension as the story progresses; it can be applied to anything with a story in it, not just films, and it’s not a strict rule.

1 is exposition; now, we are often told (or I am, at least) that exposition is of the devil and should be removed as much as possible. But without exposition, how will the audience know where or when they are in the big wide universe. Authors (this is the term I will be using for the people that write stories) need exposition for setting the scene that is taking place - and that is okay. The entirety of Once In Hollywood appears to be exposition - there is so much setting up of character and relationships that nothing else seems to happen, which nicely leads on to the next point.

2 is called the inciting incident - it is an event within the story that sets off tension and invites excitement in the very souls of the audience. I did not feel that this vital point was evident in Once In Hollywood; I guess you could say that the meeting with Al Pacino’s character (Marvin Schwarz), where Rick realises that his career is over is the inciting incident, but I would argue that it doesn’t affect the rest of the narrative - Rick doesn’t change as an effect of the meeting, and therefore neither does the story.

3 is the rising action, and this is where most of the story should take place - smaller events are slowly increasing the tension up to the pinnacle (more on that later). Once In Hollywood, in my humble and potentially naive opinion, does not do this whatsoever. Everything following Rick and Marvin’s meeting remains at the same level of tension until the last twenty minutes or so. That’s not to say that I did not find some scenes interesting - the scenes I mentioned earlier were the most memorable and interesting for me (obvs everyone is different).To be completely candid, I’m surprised it took me 2/3 of a film for me to realise how uneventful that film was - perhaps I’m entertained by boring films.

4 is the climax, the part everyone looks forward to, and this can definitely be seen in Once In Hollywood - but it is a little unexpected. The murderers almost came out of nowhere, and I saw no connection between the man who ordered the kill (which I think was Damien Herrimon’s character, Charles Manson (some of you may be familiar with that name, I’ll get onto it later)) and those who actually (tried to) get their hands dirty. They did have a connection with Cliff Booth, purely on accident, mind you. The wind-up to the big climactic fight was somewhat drawn out with an unnecessary amount of shots of the murderers walking up this hill to get to Rick’s house. The actual fight was exactly what I expected from a Tarantino movie - bloody and violent and epic (although it was weird that Rick brought out the flame-thrower (from one of his earlier movies) and torched one of the murderers without knowing what was going on).

I’m going to lump 5 and 6 together because there are only a few minutes of the film left to cover and they generally happen close together anyway. So 5 is falling action, where the tension calms down a little and the adrenaline slowly leaves the audience and they can lean back in their seats once more, and 6 is the resolution where everything comes into perspective. In the context of Once In Hollywood, neither of these events are fully satisfied - the cooldown period before the credits was so short meaning it left the audience confused, and nothing was really resolved because there was nothing to resolve in the first place. I’m sure a statement can be made about the peculiarity and abruptness of life here, but I don’t want to make it because it sounds stupid.

And now about the research. I was more than happy to leave behind this film in memory and move on with my life (bad film student), but my wonderful boyfriend search for answers and found a clue to them all before the bus arrived home.

If you are familiar with the name Sharon Tate, then you already know where this is going, but I had never heard the name before - I know very little about my own history, let alone the history of another country. You may also notice that she is not mentioned a whole lot in my very very brief overview of this 2 hour and 40 minute film; that’s because she’s not really in it - she doesn’t interact with any of the other characters until the very end when she invites Rick into her home after the attack. And I have a theory about why.

If you type ‘Sharon Tate’  into google, you will be greeted with the face of an actress that was murdered in 1969 in her home in Hollywood by the Manson family, led by Charles Manson. Prior to this research, I was guessing that the character called Manson was in charge of the potential murders within the film because his name was only brought up once and there wasn’t really anyone else it could be. Then after a simple google search, it is confirmed (to me, at least) that he is the man behind it. So my next question was this; if you have such a big story in your film, why not focus the film on that instead of a fictional character? The words ‘based on a true story’  always hit home to the audience, making them realise that their lives are not as safe as they once thought, so why leave out such an impactful tool in the hopes of making it a fictional story?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cF76gm9PdOs

Now that right there is a scene breakdown with Leonardo DiCaprio and Tarantino (who is a lot younger than I thought he would be), and Tarantino discusses how the character of Rick Dalton fits into our past, fighting for jobs alongside Steve McQueen who is also seen as a character in this film (played by Damien Lewis). On top of that, Mike Moh plays Bruce Lee, which brings our real people count up to 4 - so it’s pretty clear that this film is based in our history. But it isn’t our history, because in our history Sharon Tate dies. Therefore...alternate universe!

If you know anything about me...which you don’t...you would know that I love talking about things like this - it is my jam. I think it is interesting that a director as famous as Tarantino would employ such a trope commonly associated with science fiction.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtbJMTPi2zQ

After watching the first minute of this film by New Rockstars, I have learned that this use of the alternate realities is actually quite common for Tarantino to use, which is interesting. I have never heard anyone talk about Tarantino and his use of popular history within his work. In this video, his films are described as a fairytale re-telling of events, often ending happier than history did. 

But does all of this, the idea of an alternate, interconnected universe, the happier endings, the familiar names, does it balance out the plot-less moment montage I saw that rainy afternoon? Honestly, I don’t know. I’m kind just happy discussing films, and people always have more to say about the films they hate rather than the films they enjoy, right? I could go on more, but this post has taken days, and I mean days to write, so imma summerise - this film is okay after thinking about it a bit and after knowing a little more about Tarantino, and research pays off.

[peachximagines]

Princess Five (One)

warning: underage drinking

word count: 1.9k

pairing: OCxBilly Hargrove, platonic: StevexOC

a/n: as a poc, I am not excusing Billy’s racist undertones/his bad behavior. Also instead of El at this point, it’s the OC. This takes place after the events of Season 2. 

  I lift the apple in front of my eyes, glimpsing over the curves and the way the lights hit it so gently. Hopper smiles at me, “Don’t play with your food kid. You should be getting some nutrients in before Steve takes you out.” I shrug, letting the apple bounce onto the table in front of me. Hopper sits in front of me, leveling us.    “You don’t have to go if you really don’t want to. I’ll tell him I changed my mind.” I shake my head, dismissing the idea. “Kids aren’t as nice as the kids you know are. Will, Mike, Lucas, Dustin, and Max are different. You understand that right?” I nod. “If anyone gives you grief, DON’T use your powers. Just walk away.” I huff in disdain. He shoves my shoulder, standing up. I shouldn’t let anyone walk over me. I deserve the respect that everyone else gets. I can’t use my words so I’ll use my actions instead.    “Eat the apple or you’re not going Fee.” I frown, biting into the tart fruit. “You’re going to have to introduce yourself as Fee, I don’t think Five is a socially acceptable name.” I roll my eyes. “I saw that, brat.” I smile, swallowing another chunk of the fruit down.    “My name is Five. Badass name.” I scribe on a piece of discarded mail. I slide it over to Hopper. He assesses the words.    “Introduce yourself like that if you really want to, but be wary.” I click my tongue, giving him the thumbs up. A honk outside shifts the attention from the half-eaten apple to my only age-appropriate friend. “Okay kid, no drinking, no kissing, home before midnight.” Hopper kisses my forehead, following me to the front door. I tap his hand three times. I love you.    “Love you more.” I scrunch up my nose. One tap. Impossible. Hopper waves to Steve. Steve waves enthusiastically at Hopper as I slide into the seat next to him.    “Home at a reasonable hour. I own guns, son.”    “Of course, Hop. She’s in good hands with me.” I shoot Hopper the thumbs up. He watches us pull out from the driveway and Steve peels off into the night. Rick Astley sings gently in the background, Steve humming along.    “I know this is your first party. I promise I won’t leave you okay?” There was a certainty in his voice I knew I could trust. I nod. “If anyone gives you a hard time, let me know and I’m there.” I look away from his soft face. I know he couldn’t win a fight. Someone scary already destroyed his face once. The memory of the bruises and the cuts sends shivers down my spine. I vow to hurt whoever hurt my friend, I will never let it happen again. I open his glove compartment searching for a pen. I find a stubby pencil instead. I pull my notepad out of my purse. Steve watches out of the corner of his eye as I scribble words on the paper. I shove his arm to get his attention and he briefly takes his eyes off the road.    “‘Mute not disabled’. Well shit, Fee I know that. I just worry okay.” He faces forward, focusing on the road. “People can be mean alright?” I watch as the scenery outside changes from only woods to an expansion of rock. The quarry. I scribble more words. I wait until Steve parks a few ways from the rest of the cars before shoving the pad into his hand.    “ ‘I know mean. Papa.’” Steve sighs, turning fully to me. “I know you know mean. This is just different alright? Please just take my word for it.” Steve smiles at me, his voice gentle and kind.  I nod, getting out of the car. The chilly air nips at my nose. The excitement and screech of loud teens almost drown out the crackle of the bonfire. The fire towers over everything, casting a warm glow over the surrounding area. The burnt embers release a smell making me nostalgic. Hopper’s cabin. There’s only one place the fire fails to illuminate. The pit of the quarry looks almost bottomless and I feel suddenly overwhelmed. I turn to Steve, his eyes already on me.    “Three taps to my left hand and we’re out of here alright? We’ll go to a diner and drive around until your curfew. Three taps.” I nod. As we walk into the crowd of teens, I feel out of place. They are all kids my age but yet they know so little. They don’t know the expansive dimensions or the monsters that could lurk in bottomless pits that they like to party around. Steve grabs two glass bottles from a cooler, placing one in my hand.    “It’s beer, tastes like piss but we act like it tastes good.” I open the bottles without touching and Steve sputters. “Fee! We’re in public.” he hisses. The realization dawns on me. The ignorant teens wouldn’t even begin to grasp the concept of telekinesis. I shrug, drinking the cold piss, as Steve had called it. I scrunch my nose up.    “King Steve! Your new princess can’t handle her liquor. Not like the old one at least.” A gruff voice calls. A tan boy steps into my line of sight and I feel all air leave me. His hair was blond and long, longer than Steve’s. He smirks around the bottle pressed to his lips. “Want some, princess? It’s what these cow fuckers here call ‘fuel’.” Steve steps between me and the offered bottle.    “She’s fine, Hargrove.” Hargrove presses two fingers into Steve’s chest, pushing him out the way. The bottle’s still outstretched. I allow my eyes to travel up from the base of the bottle to the tan strong arms holding it. The strong arms connected to a strong chest that was barely covered.    “Take a sip, sweet girl.” I grip the bottle and take a huge swig. Hargrove whoops loudly as I swallow it down. The burn in my mouth is almost unbearable. He laughs, pulling me from the rock and next to him. “Shit, princess!” I wish I  could scrub the burning feeling from my mouth. Hargrove throws an arm over my shoulder, pressing me into his side. He smells like the cigarettes Hopper smokes and a little bit of the liquor I just drank.    “Alright Billy, that’s enough,” Steve growls, pulling me back to him. I scramble back to the rock, returning to my original position.    “Aw Stevie, never any fun. I saw your old princess cuddled up with Byers by the fire, maybe you should say hi.” Billy says. It sounds like a nice suggestion but the intent doesn’t seem too nice. This mean is just different, alright? This was the new mean. Nice words but mean definitions. I look over to the fire and saw them. Nancy was tucked under Jonathan’s arm. One arm with Nancy, one arm with his camera. I peak over at Steve and I can tell he can see it too.    “I need another beer,” he grumbles. “C’mon, Fee.”    “I’ll keep her company, you don’t need to have a leash on her.” Steve rolls his eye, setting his hands on his hips.    “I’m grabbing a beer and saying hi. Will you be fine over here?” I nod. “She doesn’t talk dipshit so have fun with that.” I wish he hadn’t said that. The intent wasn’t harsh but the words were. Mean was different than Papa Mean and I wish I didn’t have to learn it.    “You don’t talk?” I shrug. I pull my knees to my chest, allowing myself to hide just a little. “That’s cool. I talk enough for the both of us.” I look over my knees. Billy got himself comfortable on the rock. “I’m Billy Hargrove. A sip?” I sip from the outstretched bottle, keeping eye contact with Billy. The look in his eye put a fire in my belly that I didn’t know I could feel. Maybe it was the alcohol. Just a hi from Steve turned into a full conversation with Nancy and Jonathan. Billy stayed, keeping me company and full of fire. The bottle was empty by the time Steve hustled over.    “Shit, Five. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to talk for so long.” I giggle, shrugging my shoulders. I lean my head fully against Billy’s shoulder. He had wrapped his jacket around the both of us when he noticed I began to shiver.    “Are you drunk?” Steve looks at the empty bottle. “You’ve got to be shitting me!” he exclaimed. All the happiness in me dissipated. I sat up straighter, letting the jacket fall from my shoulders.    “Come down, it’s a fucking party.” Billy tries to defend me, sitting up haphazardly. “C’mon princess, it’s chilly out here.” I shook my head, wrapping my arms tighter around myself. He gazes at me and then at the angry Steve. “And you, Mr. Mature, don’t yell at her like that again alright?” Billy slides off the rock, allowing his legs to have a much-needed stretch. He shimmies out of his jacket, offering it out to me. Steve pushes himself between us.    “Keep the fucking jacket. Five, let’s go. Now.” I slide off the rock, bowing my head.    “Who the shit do you think you are? I’ll knock that crown off your head so quick your head will spin, King Steve.” Billy sneers,  clenching his leather jacket so tight his knuckles show strain.    “Take your jacket, and fuck off.” Steve plants his feet in the dirt, squaring himself off like he was ready for a fight. I will never let it happen again. I clench my jaw and focus on anything in the vicinity that could avert attention. I look at Billy, his eyes aflame. I step forward, pressing my hand on his bare chest. I stare at him, willing him to calm down. The flame flickers before dying out. Calm. I urge. I keep my eyes on him. I rub the skin beneath my hand gently with my thumb. Calm. I offer Billy an awkward smile.    “Put this on, Fee,” he says gently, offering his jacket. I take it from him. He smiles. His eyes flicker to Steve real quick before he turns away, walking back to his group.    “Car, now.” I rush to keep up with Steve as he takes the largest steps to get to the car.    “What were you fucking thinking? You got drunk, you draped yourself like some harmless over Hargrove and you took the jacket?” I squish into the seats, willing the angry to go away. “Don’t hide now. Now you have to fucking deal with Hopper.” I squeeze my eyes shut. Hopper won’t let me leave again. I’ll have to go back to the cabin. I tap three times. “I’m glad you’re ready to go because that’s exactly where I’m dropping you.” Steve cranks up the music Rick Astley filling the car. I wish I could feel guilt for what I did. Maybe feel bad for drinking with someone Steve obviously doesn’t like. But I couldn’t. Nothing in me told me what I did was wrong. I had fun. I was happy. I deserve to be happy.

[apparitionism]

Helicobacter 15

I have very little idea who even sees what I post anymore, given Tumblr and its unparseable algorithms. Once again, in the interest of possibly appearing in search results, I’m going to eschew links to the other fourteen (!) parts of this story here in this post... but they exist and can be found! This piece mostly boils down to callbacks, so the previous parts are indeed important, in an inside-joke sense. Anyhow, with housekeeping out of the way, where were we? Previously on Helicobacter, Myka was happy, Helena was too, and I myself couldn’t be bothered to stitch some dialogue exchanges into a full scene. Did a little better this time, but it’s still sort of Frankenstein’s-monster-ish.

Helicobacter 15

Helena knew that what she beheld wasn’t real. She knew it, because this was a plan, because everything thus far seemed to be going to plan. But when she entered the hospital room and saw Myka in that bed—that hospital bed, which was so very much not the bed they had so recently shared—all of what she knew left her mind: the “you’re up!” text she’d just received in the parking garage where she and Steve and Liam had been waiting for their cue, the fact that Steve and Liam were indeed right behind her, the crush of people in the room itself. The full complement... Abigail, extravagantly “blood”-soaked; Rick and Varsha, exuding white-coated competence; Jeannie, wearing a stricken expression that proved she either was an extremely good actor or did not enjoy having to see her daughter this way any more than Helena did; and, finally, Jane Lattimer, with whom Helena had interacted in only the most functional of ways but who had maintained a commanding, severe aspect at all times. She now looked a bit like Helena herself most likely had, in that original, first hospital immediacy, her face a mix of “something is happening to which I do not have full access” and “how can I persuade my actual day to resume.”

These things left Helena’s mind, and what remained was Myka, in a hospital bed.

“It was you all along,” Myka said, and her voice was sweet, not weak. “It really was you.”

Helena had been working on a dramatic statement in the “yes, it was I!” genre in response to whatever she encountered, here in this little hospital-room playhouse. But “I’m sorry” she said instead. An inadequate apology for everything from the original sin of the textbook through to Myka’s having to lie here in a hospital bed again.

Myka said, “I’m not.” She smiled. “But we really need to stop meeting like this.”

Enough of Helena’s wits returned for her to observe, “Abigail seems to have got the worst of it this time.”

“Impressive, right?” Abigail said. “When she gets sick, she gets sick. Overachiever.”

Now Helena did try to “act”: “You told her,” she said to Rick, who nodded. “So you know everything?” Helena asked Myka.

“I hope so,” said Myka. “I want to.”

“I want you not to be sick again,” Helena said, and that was no act.

“I can see that. Come here. If I am going to be sick again, it’s where you belong.” Myka looked up at Rick. “Now I’m the one who’s sorry. I did think it was you. Before. That it was supposed to be.” Rick said a soft “me too,” and Helena saw that Myka’s words, and his, were indeed about before: before Helena. Months ago, she would have found such an acknowledgement exclusionary and enraging. Now it raised further gratitude in her. She found she could not quite remember how it felt to hate Rick.

She did remember, however, how it felt to go to Myka’s bedside and take her hand. “I didn’t think I’d be allowed to do this,” she said.

“Technically,” Myka said, now with a glance at Jane Lattimer, “you’re not. But isn’t there an initiative about to be rolled out? That might make it okay?”

Everyone else was now conspicuously silent. Helena was not at all sorry to have missed whatever histrionics had preceded her entrance, but poor Liam was likely to regret finding so little to work with, improvisationally.

“Initiative?” Jane asked, with an edge, and Helena began to worry.

“Sunshine?” Myka asked back.

Jane frowned, and Helena, her worry intensifying, said, “I don’t want to cause trouble. But at the same time, I’d be happier if I didn’t have to skulk in someone else’s emails. Even if he was kind about it. Thank you, Rick.” She meant it.

“You’re welcome,” Rick said, and he seemed to mean it as well. “Happier’s a good goal. For you and for Myka. I think we all agree on that.”

“We certainly do,” Jeannie said.

Her words made Helena remember that, given the situation, she wouldn’t know who this was. “Have we met?” she asked.

In lieu of a real answer, Jeannie ruminated, “Myka told me about you, the first time this happened. Of course she told me after the fact. About all of it. ‘Hi, Mom, hope bridge club was fun, and by the way, cancer.’ And even then she seemed more concerned about having decorated you with so much of her AB-positive... that was a little confusing, in terms of priorities, but the most confusing part is why nobody insisted on calling her next of kin!”

“Mom,” Myka said. “First, I wasn’t dying. And second, storyline, okay?”

“Fine,” Jeannie said. “Am I allowed to sigh and say words about destiny?”

“Like I could stop you,” Myka said.

Helena tried to walk a middle way with, “I wish the circumstances were better, but I’m pleased to meet you.”

“We’ll see if it’s likewise,” said Jeannie, with a bit of her familiar twinkle.

“I’ll try to make it so. If Myka will let me, now that she knows that my feelings belong to me, not Rick. And now that she knows that her feelings are for me, not Rick. That is, if she still has those feelings, given the revelation that they may be for me, not Rick.” Well, that had been a terrible improvisation. Helena wished some language-use fail-safe mechanism could have cut her off after the first “me, not Rick.”

“I have them,” Myka said, with admirable simplicity. To Jane, she said, “So could we?”

“Could you what?” Jane asked. She still wore a frown, but was that was from “when will my day resume” annoyance, or because Myka was on an extremely wrong track?

“Hold hands, now that we know who feels what for whom. Could we just do this, and not worry about our jobs? Given the sunshine, I really think we—”

“But Myka,” Jane said, her expression changing from severe to gently serious, “that isn’t how it’s intended to work. It’s intended, once we announce, to flush people out: ultimately, to be an even greater deterrent. To show that we can find problems and dispatch them. One of you would still have to go—the only thing the initiative does is provide for some negotiating and grace period. A softer landing, with associated publicity. For example, Helena’s firm could finish the library, but she’d be barred from city work after that. Or you could wrap up your projects, and then you’d exit with some sort of severance package.”

Myka’s small smile had vanished, and her hold on Helena’s hand had become progressively tighter through Jane’s explanation. “What? No... no, no, no! Blameless adorable girls!”

“What?” Jane said.

Myka turned to Helena and said, in a voice as tense as her grip, “I didn’t know.”

Helena said a quiet, “That’s your just deserts for reading things you shouldn’t. Draft memos... marked-up city planning textbooks...”

“I thought it was going to be perfect,” Myka said. Her eyes dampened, and she blinked fast.

“It is perfect, as far as the initiative goes,” Jane told her, “but it doesn’t get you the outcome you seem to want.”

Myka hates how red... they really could not move to Maine and refuse to fish for lobsters, so Helena was going to have to come up with something else, and she was going to have to do it quickly. “But not the outcome you want, either,” she said to Jane, buying time.

“How do you mean?” Jane asked.

“Do you want me to be barred from city work?”

“Of course not. I wish I could say there were plenty of firms in the sea that can bring work in on time and on budget, but.”

Helena continued, slowly, “And you can’t possibly want to send Myka off into the sunset with a severance package, because she’s exceptional at her job.” An even more salient through struck her: “And because you most likely won’t be allowed to replace her, will you? Given budgetary concerns.”

“That’s most likely correct,” Jane said.

And now Helena had to throw that last reasonable save-us-all possibility out the window as well. Not on impulse, but as an imperative: because it was no longer a reasonable possibility. She said, “I would swear to fall out of love with her, but I don’t believe I can do that. And you would have your suspicions, wouldn’t you? Regardless of what either of us swore.”

“‘Suspicions’ is far too mild a word for what I would have, if you tried to sell me that story,” Jane said. “That story.”

It was a clear request: sell me the right story. What was the right story? The current circumstance was once a different circumstance, Helena reminded herself, and then she began to remind Jane of it: “Let’s consider a hypothetical situation. What would have happened if she and I had been together before I bid on the neighborhood?”

Jane said, promptly, “You would never have been allowed within ten miles of that bid.”

“But remember, the process began before the current mayor took office. And Myka wasn’t involved, not initially. Under the previous administration, that was the functional equivalent of being ten miles apart, wouldn’t you say? Under the previous administration, our integrity would have been the stuff of legend. Perhaps even epic poetry, composed in Greek.” She glanced at Myka, who was not at all ready to smile. I will never, ever let this face be red again. Maine, lobsters, red. Everything connected. Fix it.

Jane said, “I have my doubts about the poetry, but in a general sense, yes.”

“And neither Myka nor I could have known that after my unfortunate incident with her now-former coworker, you would assign her to the project. Could we? She certainly didn’t volunteer for it.”

“No...” Now Jane Lattimer had a tilt to her head and a glint to her eye that suggested she was beginning to see Helena’s point: blameless adorable girls...

Myka was still blinking, and she was breathing hard through her nose: she wasn’t there yet.

“The timeline,” Helena said. “The timeline. You assign Myka to the project, having no idea that she and I are together in some way; we don’t say anything about it, because why would we have done, under the previous regime? A short time later, the new mayor takes office; new rules go into effect. Myka and I are now stuck: what can we do? If we reveal ourselves, either she loses her job, or my firm is dropped from consideration. We don’t want either of those outcomes, so for a brief while, we bide our time. Perhaps we’re trying to figure out a plan.” She looked at Myka again, and now Myka blinked again, but slow, an I trust you blink, an I still don’t quite see but I trust you movement of lids and lashes.

Helena, encouraged, continued, “We fail to figure out a plan before Myka falls ill, and we have our day in hospital. She conveys to you the basic facts of what happened—that she did fall ill, that I was there with her—because she could hardly conceal those facts. And you, following the guidelines, remove her from the project and install Abigail instead. We breathe something of a sigh of relief, but we also find ourselves consigned to secrecy. We’re trapped. We remain trapped, all this time... but, notably, I don’t attempt to influence any of Myka’s work, and she exerts no influence to benefit me. That is objectively the case.”

“The mayor wouldn’t bother to follow that story,” Jane said. “She’s busy; it’s lengthy. And I’m not persuaded it’s true.”

“It could have been true. Just as this story of emails and a relapse could have been true,” Helena told her—but having done so, she realized that she had fully confessed to the fictional nature of the current situation. Monumental error?

Apparently not; Jane’s posture relaxed, and she said, “So Myka’s all right?”

Myka squeezed Helena’s hand. “I’m all right,” she said, and Helena was so relieved to hear her sound like herself again that she sat down next to her on the bed, heedless, now, of all appearances, even of making it clear that she had indeed been with Myka, lately, in a better bed than this one. She noted that she was on the correct side of this bed. They had been in better beds, but at least she was in this one correctly.

“All right then,” Jane said. “Several things could have been true. What actually is true?”

The words “First there was a fountain” made their way out of Myka’s mouth before Helena managed to interrupt, “I don’t believe anyone’s life will be improved if we try to explain. Speaking of stories no one would bother to follow.” Myka’s theory regarding public shaming was all very well, but now they needed to offer something that made sense.

“All right then, “ Jane said. “We’ll save the truth for a less instrumental time. But what would you like me to sell to the mayor?”

Helena said, “Sell her this: a city employee and a contractor have a personal relationship that predates the current administration, but that relationship has never been allowed to influence their work. I think that says a great deal about how this mayor has managed to bring integrity back to governance, don’t you?” Jane began to nod, if still with bit of skepticism, so Helena went on, “If the mayor is indeed concerned about having nothing to disclose, then here is something that may be disclosed. If everything looks too perfect, here is a story in which everyone’s behavior, while not perfect, is undamaging to the work at hand. In fact the work at hand is being done rather well, and our conduct has been, all things considered, very nearly exemplary.”

No one else in the room had said anything for quite some time—poor Liam, Helena thought again. Everyone’s eyes were on Jane, who said, “It’s a shame you weren’t secretly married. I’d have a better case for having this new initiative somehow grandfather you in, given your ‘exemplary’ conduct.” Helena heard the quote marks.

“Hm,” Rick said. “How about if they were engaged?”

Jane tilted her head one way, then the other. “It couldn’t hurt.”

Rick turned to Myka and Helena and shrugged as if to say “well then.”

“There are several people who work at this hospital who would attest to that as fact,” Helena said.

Myka smiled up at Helena. “Plus it would help explain why you dropped everything to be here today—I mean, here, today, when I’m having this relapse—regardless of appearances.”

Jane said, “And I suppose it would explain why, here today, you were both unable to hide the ‘real’ situation from me. Given what a terrible actor Helena is.” She said this last with a “go ahead, challenge me” air.

“Terrible,” Helena agreed, not rising to the bait, if indeed it was bait. “Jane, I believe you’re the hero in this scenario, are you not? You offer the mayor an easy way to show a tinge of relatively harmless imperfection, and you keep all your personnel in place. No other department head could possibly have the opportunity—and ability!—to thread such a needle.”

“Don’t push,” Jane warned.

“I can’t help but push,” Helena said, because it was true. “Look at her.” She herself looked at Myka... and was struck by the fact of her. No more impulses; only imperatives.

“It’s fortunate you’ve given up asking me to believe that this romance is purely epistolary,” Jane said. “We do still have one problem, however, speaking of looking: going forward, there’s that pesky appearance of a conflict of interest. I’m not sure how I can talk the mayor down from that.”

Varsha said, “I have an idea. You see, I’m using this wallpaper”—she gestured at Rick—“to help my career.”

“Who are you again?” Jane asked.

“I am Doctor Varsha Parekh, but that is unfortunately neither here nor there in the present circumstance. The point is that the wallpaper is fine with it. He would most likely not be fine with it, however, if I hadn’t told him. If for example I told someone else and that news made its way back to him.”

“Full disclosure!” Liam said, with a florid melodrama that the current circumstance certainly didn’t warrant... then again, Helena did see that it was likely to be one of his only lines, so of course he would want to make the most of it.

His making the most of it startled Jane. “Who are you?” she asked.

“I thought,” Liam began, just as extravagantly—then Steve elbowed him and he calmed down—“well, I thought I might get to play a doctor too, but instead I’m ‘Assistant’s Boyfriend.’ Which is fine.” He elbowed Steve.

Jeannie sighed. “I’m still just ‘Mom.’”

Myka burst out with, “Don’t say I didn’t warn you!”

“I know you did,” Jeannie told her, “and it’s fine, just as Liam said, but—”

“No, Mom,” Myka said, “I’m talking about disclosure. If I warn them, no one can say I didn’t warn them.”

Abigail mused, “It is a conflict of interest. Say it loud and proud, over and over, and eventually nobody’ll think twice about it; they’ll bake it into every single good word you might say about her. And every single bad word you might say about anybody else.”

“You will have to say it over and over,” Jane told Myka, “or everyone will think you’re joking.”

“I will be so happy to say it over and over,” Myka said. Her hand, still gripping Helena’s, was warm.

Jane said, “You’ve always been above reproach... are you ready to take that reputational hit?”

At that, Myka did lose a bit of her shine. Helena looked at Abigail, who shrugged and said, “She’s the one who keeps saying she’s tougher than she looks.”

“Think of it as a metaphorical pie in the face,” Helena suggested to Myka.

“I guess you did pre-apologize,” Myka said. “First thing when you walked in here.”

“And I felt I really did have to throw it. Well, to set you up for it to be thrown, I suppose. Unfortunately I don’t think anyone will bother hiding it in a bouquet.”

“Helena, I had no idea you were this strange,” Jane remarked.

“I’m not the one who—never mind. Yes, I am this strange. Now. I occasion the throwing of metaphorical pies. I personify the lessons of a koan that inexplicably involves a lobster. And everywhere I go, I find myself there under false false pretenses.”

“Not everywhere,” Myka said. “But speaking of false false pretenses, and why she goes places, I should make clear that regardless of when anything did or didn’t happen, I did all the pursuing, I swear. If she’s been trying to get me to wield influence on her behalf, she’s doing a terrible job. Gave me no incentive at all.” Myka accompanied this with an irresistible nestle against Helena’s side... a reminder that Myka herself had provided near-constant incentive for Helena to give up and give in. As she was now once again doing.

“Maybe she’s spectacular at reverse psychology,” Abigail said.

“Whose side are you on?” Myka demanded.

With a glance at Jane, Abigail said, “Good governance. I’m on the side of good governance.” She glanced down at the “gore” that decorated her. “I’m also on the side of clean clothes.”

Steve said, “She is not spectacular at reverse psychology. She’s not even very good at straightforward psychology.”

Helena sat there and took it, because really, what were her options? Her martyrdom was mitigated by the fact that she was still sitting next to Myka, holding her hand. With a modicum of hope.

Jane said, “Honestly, psychology aside, I wish you’d just come to me in the first place. My heart isn’t made of stone.” She shook her head in an exasperated chide.

In response to which, Helena had no choice but to muse, “How ironic it would be if someone had, prior to all this, suggested doing precisely that.”

Myka un-nestled herself and poked Helena in the side. “How even more ironic it would be if, after all this, someone else were to decide she’d changed her mind about wanting to be with someone.”

“I am having a sign made that says ‘point taken.’”

“Good investment.” Myka then re-nestled herself, as if it were a relief to have that settled.

And with that, Helena capitulated. Entirely: no part of her soul was divided. She would sell the firm to Steve if she had to; she would move to Maine; she would confront lobsters or any other monster from her childhood, from her subconscious, or from reality. She would maintain.

Jane said, “I need to make one more very important point, one that each and every one of you needs to take to heart: You’re all terrible actors—“

“Now, wait,” Jeannie said, and Liam added, “You should have seen me as Biff Loman three seasons ago at the Civic Theater.”

Jane rolled her eyes. “But since you’re willing to put on this ridiculous show to ‘help’ them, can I count on you to maintain the equally ridiculous position that they’ve been involved for as long as they have to have been, for this story to be plausible? A year? More?”

Helena, suddenly giddy at the idea of victory within their grasp, said, “We have known each other for more than a year and have been madly in love for twice that long. Wait, was that backwards?”

“Liar,” Myka accused. “Three times that long.”

Rick offered, “I am pretty sure Myka cheated on me with her.”

Myka raised a threatening hand to him. “Hey. Actually too soon on that.”

“Sorry,” he said.

Helena remembered how it felt to resent him. She glared.

“Very sorry,” he amended.

“Some secret engagement that you were trying to tell me some fake story about,” Steve said, contemplatively.

Helena recognized the phrasing. “You did say that. At the time.”

“I was all set to believe it then... so now I do.” His breathing was steady. Helena reflected that if she did have to sell the firm to him, everyone there would most likely breathe far more steadily, far more of the time.

“Wonderful,” said Jane. “And when I say ‘wonderful,’ I mean that if I hear one whisper of trouble about this, everyone in this room over whom I have any authority whatsoever is fired, removed, or otherwise penalized. Do I make myself clear?” She received decisive nods from everyone, even those over whom she technically had no power at all. “All right. Here is the ‘real’ story: you’ve been engaged since before the current administration came into office. I had no knowledge of this engagement. As far as I knew, you met on the day of Myka’s hospital stay—during which, I’m gathering, Helena represented herself as Myka’s fiancée.”

“I did,” Helena said.

“That representation of the situation was, if anyone asks from this point forward, true,” Jane told her.

Helena said, “It felt true.”

“It did,” Myka agreed.

“True enough,” Rick harrumphed.

Helena remembered yet more resentment.

Jane went on, “And I removed Myka from the project with absolutely no knowledge of this previously existing relationship. And the two of you spent a great deal of time fearing for your lives and livelihoods.”

“Also true,” Helena affirmed.

“Very,” Myka intensified.

“Because you didn’t know how magnanimous I would be in attempting to work out this grandfathering situation,” Jane concluded.

“I bet I suspected,” Myka said, with a bit of a wily smile, and she knew Jane better than Helena did, so she would know if that was all right, but Helena still had to resist a strong urge to shush her and tell her not to tempt fate.

Fortunately, Jane seemed not to take it amiss. “I haven’t survived as many administrations as I have by being unwilling or unable to do what’s necessary to get to my preferred outcome. You’re not wrong about the politics of the situation, Helena. I think this will let the mayor send a particular signal... I think it could, strangely, work. And work well.”

“So many of Myka’s ideas seem to,” Helena said. “Work strangely, I mean. And well. Although rarely as she intends.”

Jeannie said, “You probably wouldn’t be surprised to hear that that’s been true since she was five and decided that she wanted a pet. Her father wouldn’t get her a dog, so she used Pop-Tarts to train a raccoon to sit at the backyard picnic table with her.”

“And against its better judgment, it agreed to continue to pose as her fiancée,” Helena said, and she felt Myka’s body move. Laughter, accompanied by a mumble of “should’ve tried Pop-Tarts with you.”

Abigail asked, with enthusiasm, “Did it bite her and give her rabies? Ooh, Rick, is that why you decided to become a doctor? Seeing your little best friend foaming at the mouth?”

“Seeing Myka foaming at the mouth would’ve made me want to become an exorcist, not a doctor. Also, I thought Myka did have a dog.”

“Can you not tell dogs and raccoons apart?” Varsha asked, giving him a look. “That is so sad.”

“You are a fine one,” Helena told her.

“I know which one you are. If my grandma were standing here with a bowl of her famous lapsi, she would without doubt refuse to serve it to you. She’d train a raccoon with it instead.” She really was very matter-of-fact about it. Helena believed her.

Jeannie continued her story: “That well-fed raccoon spread the news about the Pop-Tarts far and wide. Myka’s father took the trash out one day and met up with eleven of them, sitting in a line, waiting for Myka and snacks. Reasonably politely, but still. He screamed—he’s never liked raccoons—but they were unfazed.”

“And?” Helena asked. Myka was still laughing against her, harder now, saying “Eleven, eleven...”

“And the next day, he brought home a dog to deal with our raccoon problem.”

Now Myka picked up the tale. “She was a Corgi mix named George Eliot—although I was five, so I thought that was all one word, ‘Georgeliot’—and I adored her. So did the raccoons, and vice versa. My dad felt so betrayed.”

“I begin to see why he spends so much of his time sitting in a boat,” Helena said.

“Also he thinks raccoons can’t swim,” Myka told her.

“Can they?”

Myka, solemnly: “Like little furry crocodiles.”

Helena did think she had gone all in, mere moments ago. Now, however, a small, final bit of her heart or her soul or whatever might have intended to hold out some possibility of defiant resistance dusted its hands, picked up its lunch bucket, and walked off the job. She sighed. “I suppose they’ll feel right at home in the fountain, then.”

“They’ll keep it lobster-free for you,” Myka assured her.

“Considerate,” Helena said. She closed her eyes and, for one breath, paid no heed to those surrounding them; she let herself revel in the physicality of leaning against inadequate pillows, atop an industrial-grade bedsheet. With Myka. Not the day’s inevitable outcome by any means.

Then Jane said, “I am now exiting this inside-joke snowglobe and going back to City Hall, where I expect Myka and Abigail to join me shortly. And I’d appreciate it if Myka and Helena would both be so kind as to continue behaving in your exemplary nonpersonal fashion until I’ve had a chance to talk to the mayor.”

“Should I be there?” Myka asked. “I really think I could explain—”

Jane interrupted, beating Helena to it by a nanosecond, “You should not be there. You should be at least half a world away.”

At this, Myka gasped, dropped Helena’s hand, and sat up extremely straight. She said to the room, “Half a world away! If everybody here isn’t thinking exactly what I’m thinking, I’m going to be so disappointed.”

Helena said, “I, on the other hand, will be relieved. Because I fear for our collective sanity if we’ve all started thinking like you.”

“I’m with you, Helena,” Rick said, and Helena felt her umbrage subside again.

Varsha said, “I’m inclined to agree, but for reasons of family and history, I’ll vote ‘present’ instead.” She directed an appraising gaze at Myka and asked, “Unless you’re thinking about rabies? It’s caused by a lyssavirus, not very interestingly shaped, but extremely—”

“Not rabies,” said Myka. Varsha deflated, and Myka said, “I promise to think about rabies some other time.” Varsha didn’t smile, not exactly, but Helena for one was amused to find that there was a facial expression easily legible as “pleased to have at this moment begun mentally assembling a PowerPoint presentation on the topic of lyssaviruses.”

“Clean clothes?” Abigail tried, to which Myka shook her head. Abigail glanced at Jane again. “But I still care about good governance.”

Liam declared, “I’m a dime a dozen, and so are you!”

Both Steve and Myka said, “What?”

“It’s from Salesman. I was thinking about that season at the Civic.”

Steve said, “I was thinking about what kinds of design projects we could bid on that might involve greenhouses.”

Jane said, “Hm.” Then she said, “Well.” Then she pointed at him and said, “You didn’t hear it from me, but there’s a public/private partnership being set up to fund a senior-housing complex. I heard the word ‘greenhouse’ mentioned as something to consider, in terms of providing resident activities. Then again I also heard ‘horseshoe pit’ and ‘pickleball court,’ so they may go sporty instead.”

“When we bid,” Helena began, but at Jane’s ahem hurriedly corrected to, “rather, if we bid, Steve will wax lyrical on the virtues of gardening and persuade them otherwise. Won’t you?”

“The virtues of gardening, but the virtues of gardeners in particular,” he responded.

Liam put an arm around his shoulders. “Aw. You’re not a dime a dozen.”

“Neither are you,” Steve said, with an answering embrace. Helena found them charming.

Myka, charmed or not, was undeterred. “What is wrong with you people? Half a world away!”

“Well,” Jeannie said, “my first thought was probably too stereotypical a ‘Mom’ line, given that it was ‘honeymoon,’ so—”

“Ding ding ding!” Myka shouted. “We have a winner!”

“Your thought was ‘honeymoon’?” Helena asked, and Myka nodded in dramatic fashion. “I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but I don’t believe we can go on a honeymoon.”

“Why not?”

She had to be joking. The guileless eyes had to be an act. Helena didn’t know what the purpose of this act in particular was, but she played along and said, “Those generally follow weddings.”

Still guileless: “And?”

“And—Jane, don’t listen to this part—as far as I know, we are not in fact even engaged to be married.” Something had turned slightly strange in the room; Helena looked to Steve, but he gave her very little in response, not a smile or a shrug, just a gaze. Abigail did the same. Helena began to worry again. “These things do tend to proceed in a customary sequence,” she said, as a last aren’t-we-on-the-same-page stab.

“Okay, then, let’s get our raccoons in a row.” Myka turned her still-upright torso toward Helena and took her hand again. “First step: will you marry me?”

TBC

[i-dont-want-your-hysteria]

PSA- How It All Went Down On February 10th

Today is the one year anniversary of when I got into Def Leppard, and how everything on this blog came to be becuase of today. Below is the entire story of how I came across Leppard, and how this blog came about. 

Happy one year!

Let me get one thing clear- I definitely grew up on Def Leppard in one way or another.

My dad’s been a huge fan since ‘83, so of course, I heard their music growing up. However, I didn’t exactly know it was them that I was hearing- I just always heard their name from my dad. I kept my own taste in music, and never paid attention to them (since I didn’t exactly know who they were).

So, the road to my current state of Leppard-loving actually began at the beginning of my sophomore year (fall 2016). For some reason I "rediscovered" Sugar (as in I never knew the title or the artist of it but always heard it as a kid) and started listening to it a lot. A lot.

During my sophomore year, I transitioned my music taste into classic rock. I don’t remember how this happened, but it was for the best.

 At the end of my sophomore year, I "rediscovered" Animal (same scenario) and started listening to it a lot, but never listened to any other song by them voluntarily. 

In the summer following this (summer 2017), whenever we burned a fire on our deck, we would always play Weird Al/ Electric Amish (stuff like that) when we were out there late at night. Eventually, one night in July, I was out of ideas of what to play so I asked my dad (a huge DL fan) what I should put on and of course he simply says "Def Leppard." I asked him what song and said to just pick one, so I thought, “oh god I don't really know any of their songs and I don’t know what he likes, what should I pick? Okay, I’ll pick one I don’t know. Let's just pick the first one that comes up that I don't know" and it just so happens that that one was Hysteria, and I put it on and immediately my dad goes "Ahh.. you had to pick this one...” and tilts his head back, looking up at the sky.

He then told me the story of the first time it was played for the rest of the band (which isn’t 100% true, but this is just what he knew) he said that one of the guitarists (it was actually Phil and Sav) played what they had so far for the rest of the band around a campfire like we were doing (which turned out to be some of Sav and Phil's Irish friends).

But it felt really cool being out there with this song playing, and it was the first time I had ever heard it, too. Hysteria was my favorite song within a week. But, still, I could probably only name 3 or 4 DL songs at this point (I apparently did know more, but none by name). Those 3 or 4 DL songs kinda defined that summer for me, funny enough.

October of 2017: I don't exactly know how it happened, (I think I heard it on the radio) but I rediscovered Photograph (I actually knew this one by name) and became OBSESSED WITH IT FOR ALL OF NOVEMBER. Making music videos in my head, writing it into my NaNoWriMo novel, listening to it whenever I could, just wow- I love it. That's when it became my favorite song of all time (and it still is- tied with Hysteria).

It's January of 2018 now, and I'm still cooing over Photograph and Sugar and Hysteria and Animal, then January 14th, 2018 comes around- I almost meet Rick by accident, then a week or so later I'm watching the Metal Mayhem block on MTVC...

A video ends, it fades to black, and then suddenly I hear that "pck......" pluck of a string that echoes away and my heart jumps- “IT'S PHOTOGRAPH OHMYGODOHMYGOD...!!” 

It occurred to me right then and there that I had never seen the music video before (or even considered that there may have been one)

It had ALSO occurred to me that I had never once actually looked at a picture of the band. I'd never seen their faces. 

So I’ve got a favorite song I’ve been obsessed with for a solid two months, I discover its music video, and look at the band who sings it for the first time- and who starts singing my absolute favorite song of all time but an absolutely daSHING young man in a Union Jack tank top and a white scarf.

And then he hit me out of nowhere and I actually said to myself "God... the lead singer's actually kinda cute... like... really cute..." followed by an "oh no" shortly after because I knew I'd eventually fall madly in love with this simply adorable man who sings my favorite song, and I’d remember that that is what started it all (but that's not what started it all. It was simply an “I’ve been down this road before and this is typically how it starts.” I was more shocked than anything that my dad’s favorite band had a pretty cute lead singer- like how was that possible?) I was now, however, teetering on the edge of falling into an obsession... anything could set me off. 

And it finally did- on February 10th, 2018. My dad was taking me to a drama club rehearsal, and Bringin On the Heartbreak came on the radio. My dad turned it up and went "Yes! Old Leppard!" and at the chorus I went "WHAT'S THIS SONG CALLED I THINK I'VE HEARD IT BEFORE"

It was just the chorus I remembered, not exact words, but it just sounded all familiar, the melody of their forces, the screaming of the words, I'm pretty sure I heard it a really long time ago. And thus, it had begun. I went home, I found it on our iCloud and downloaded it.

Then I remembered my dad saying something when he was drunk about how "I nEED ROCK. LIKE ROCK. I'M TALKING LIKE- PYROMANIA. TWICE."

So I thought "I really really like a small handfull of Def Leppard’s songs. I think I should listen to them more. I'll listen to Pyromania- twice." (I’d heard of the album beforehand but never listened to it- or had I?). So I did one day. I listened to it. Twice. And BOOM; there were at least 4 songs on there right off the bat I most definitely recognized. Turns out I did know a ton of songs by Def Leppard- I just didn’t know it was them.

And of course I looked into them a bit more, hearing about all their popular stuff, listening to all of Hysteria, FINALLY looking up that handsome son of a bitch's name (Joe), finding out that one of the main composers of my favorite song went and died before I was born (Steve), and finding their more popular songs, and listening to all albums soon enough. 

I kept going back to tumblr to find pics of them and such, but there weren’t a lot. There wasn’t much on here at all about them. Whatever I did find, though, I reblogged. I was straight up obsessed within days. That week was crazy for my old tumblr. 

However, at the end of the week, on Feb 18th, only a week after it all began, I accidentally deleted my tumblr account (long story, don’t ask). I was honestly devastated because I had it for almost 4 years and all that history was now gone in the blink of an eye. Within the hour, I restarted and created a new tumblr account. I was lost on here and didn’t know where to begin, or get back on my feet. For one thing, I got my old url back ( @mccoys-killer-queen ) and immediately made my background the same pic of the guys as it was before to kind of trick myself into thinking nothing had changed.

I was wrong, and that was a good thing.

I got back into a fresh new blog, and started going around to people and asking them to spread the word on what happened and to hopefully get most of my followers back.

To this day I don’t remember all of them, and that’s been a good thing so far.

While I was doing this, I started talking to @raised-on-radio (whom I had only become mutuals with about a week earlier), 

“thinking about legit starting a def leppard blog tho” I said in the tags of a post I reblogged. She sent it back to me saying that I totally should (thanks, by the way!). And while I wasn’t totally serious about it at the time, I thanked her for the support so early on.

The next day- literally- the next day (Feb 19th), I messaged her and said that I couldn’t help myself, and made a DL blog (you’re looking at it right now). I’d never had a sideblog before, but within a week, I really enjoyed it (and obviously, I still do). Upon looking at this dead/sleeping fandom on tumblr, I realized right away it needed some sort of revival- to become like other fandoms in the modern day. There was no fanfic (on tumblr at least), there were no memes (oh heLL NO there was not), there wasn’t much circulation of posts, and it just felt dead- which I KNEW it wasn’t. It was very far from it.

Over the next month or so, it seemed now that I was involved with the fandom, it was starting to awaken in some ways. There were people actually posting content, more people were making blogs, memes got involved (I’m taking the credit for that, lmao, it seemed no one else posted memes except me and @stupidpicturesofdefleppard ). I don’t want to say I caused this awakening, but it just seems that it happened around the time I got involved with everything. A divine coincidence.

The year that followed was amazing in so many different ways. In a year, I went from not even looking at a photo of the guys and not even knowing their names, to interacting/having one of them and their official twitter interact with me on Twitter a few times, to meeting one of them in person (and putting my arm around him and having him call me ‘darling’), to having a year long obsession that’s still going strong, to knowing much more songs by them than any other artist, to knowing more facts and history about them than anything else, to being able to recognize them if given the slightest detail, and to being absolutely in love with every member and everything Def Leppard has done (not in that order!)

One year later, here we are! The past 365 days since I first heard Bringin’ On The Heartbreak in my dad’s car has been one hell of a story that’s taken me months to completely type out, and I can’t thank everyone enough for somehow making me gain 364 followers in the past year for something I never thought would get off the ground! If I told myself a year ago that I’d be where I am now, I don’t know what I’d think of it. I’d think it absolutely crazy- which it is!

But I wouldn’t change a thing about the last 365 days, that’s for damn sure. 

Rock on, guys!

[wingshead]

headcanon / meta post based around de-constructing the thematic qualities in the five-part series man out of time by mark waid.

Bucky: What about you, “Rembrandt?” You oughta start makin’ plans. Steve: If my country wants me to keep serving, I’ll serve. But they might not. Seriously, what purpose does Captain America serve outside of combat? I wouldn’t be surprised if they took the suit and shield and sent me home with every other soldier. Bucky: Ha! They’re gonna have you be the first man to break the sound barrier! First man to climb Mount Everest! Heck, you’re gonna be the first man on the moon! Steve: You think? Bucky: That’s my two cents. So I ask you back: Is that what you want? Steve: I’ll do whatever needs doing. Bucky: That’s not an answer. My brother, you have been running a mile a minute since they shot you up with the super-soldier serum. There is not an American alive who doesn’t owe you (and me) a thousand times over. So, what? Do? You? Want? Steve: Honestly? I just want to sleep.

So right off the bat in the first few pages, it’s pretty clear from the beginning of this mini series that we’re getting a look at a side of Steve that we don’t see very often in the comics, and it directly deals with Steve’s exhaustion & uncertainty. For all his boosting the morale and fighting on the front lines, Steve has an exhaustion with the war and the fact that he for as long as he fought in it, he never stopped working, fighting, and obeying orders the entire time. He has never once complained, other than when he was frustrated in the beginning at not doing more. Minus obeying orders (seeing how for a good portion of his run with the Avengers he’s been the de facto leader/ co-leader of the team), Steve continues on the same way now in the future. He’s strong, he’s fast, he’s got enhanced stamina and agility and an eidetic memory. He’s dedicated to the cause : both as a man wanting to do the right thing, and as a soldier wanting to serve his country.

And Steve is very much a soldier, he may have only fought in World War II for a number of years, but he’s fought in many other wars afterwards, and fought alongside other men as well - both as Steve Rogers and Captain America.

But unlike the other GIs and men out in the battlefield that had something or someone to come back to, Steve didn’t. Even back then. He didn’t have family left to go home to : didn’t have a girl. Didn’t really have any friends either. He’s fully immersed in Captain America: the man has become the symbol, and without the symbol, Steve’s not sure who the man is. The question Bucky asks him, ‘what do you want?’, is a difficult one to answer for Steve, because for all that Stevewants peace in the world and the war to end, he doesn’t know what he’ll do in the absence of having a war to fight. A purpose. Despite the fact that it was a pretty god-awful movie, the line ‘God’s righteous man, pretending he can live without war’ in regards to Steve is a pretty accurate one. Steve is constantly at war : with the world, and with himself. He hasn’t known life without a battle or a fight for most his life. The idea of peace and normalcy is a tempting one, and it’s Steve’s goal, but he doesn’t know what his role would be in a life where he’s no longer needed to be Captain America anymore.

Throughout the five part series, Steve’s thoughts are shown in a recurring type-face in the form of a mission report. It shows his distrust with the people and the world around him, and the fact that even in completely new terrain, Steve’s first instinct is to think like a soldier still in a war, & act like he’s behind enemy lines. The last thing Steve remembers is being thrown from a plane armed with a bomb that Zemo had set, and now he’s waking up to strangers in strange costumes. He fought with the Invaders, and super-beings are not new news to Steve : he’s fought with them, and against them. Considering the last thing Steve remembered was being in enemy terrain, he’s suspicious still of the Avengers at first, and Steve tries to maintain a cover that no longer exists. That never existed. He’s still reporting to his higher up. Steve is using his inner reconnaissance report as a crutch : trying to hold onto something familiar, even though it’s not real.

And then there’s the whole issue around his hallucinations, the people and fantasy that he makes up in his head to cope with the reality he’s faced with. This one…kind of speaks for itself. The fact that Steve on the outside looks very composed and calm with the situation, when the panels seen through his eyes show a very different and more disturbing story. His cavalier attitude freaks a lot of people out, both Rick and the medical staff that Steve sees after being shot, but despite the fact that Steve ACTS like he’s fine waking up in the distant future, the fact that we can see that he’s replacing people in the present with people from his past shows that he’s really, really not dealing with what’s happening to him. it’s obvious that waking up and being faced with a time that’s not his own isn’t something that Steve can readily or easily accept, and it’s traumatized him to the point where he’s had to make up an entire world around him to compensate.

But it’s not only limited to the hallucinations. A few times in the comics Steve has what’s known as the thousand yard stare. A blank, long and limp look that isn’t directed at anything. The thousand yard stare was coined in WWII to correspond with war veterans where the intense trauma they faced had left them haunted, and not all there. It’s reflected in their gaze. The dissociation. And dissociation is exactly what Steve is going through right now. He couldn’t possibly be in a more dissociate state at the moment, with everything and everyone he knows gone from his life forever.

Dr. Dysart: Hang on. You can’t just leave! There’s paperwork and payment and – Steve: Alright, I’ll play along. Call this number. This man will clear everything. Dr. Dysart: There’s only six digits … Wait. President Roosevelt … ? Steve: Tell him I said hello. Dr. Dysart: Son, stop! What did you mean when you said “even here”? Where do you think you are? Steve: Huh.

The issue, and the tail - end to Steve’s conversation with Doctor Dysart really hits home the extent of Steve delusions here, and its only expanded on when he meets Rick on the streets of New York. Steve has deluded himself into believing he’s in a dream, because it’s easier for him to accept the future and the changes if he thinks his mind is making it up and he’ll wake up from it soon. But despite this, he still keeps up appearances, showing that while he’s trying to convince himself all of this isn’t real, a part of him deep down can understand that it isn’t, and he can’t freely give away classified information.

Another one of Steve’s hallucinations, and another way for him to compensate for his loss and not face the reality of it all. He sees Rick, a young kid & a friend of the Avengers, and his mind immediately turns him into Bucky. Bucky, who last he’d seen, had been on top of a plane that had blown up. Bucky, who Steve had asked about when he’d 'woken up’, and didn’t get an answer for. ‘Bucky’ looks the same age as he did when Steve last saw him in 1944, despite the fact that in this 'dream’ of Steve’s they’re decades in the future. “It’s good to see you, partner. I was worried about you.” he tells Rick-Bucky.

The guilt and the fear of admitting that the possibility of Bucky being dead is not something that Steve, at that moment, was equipped to handle.

He chooses instead to use a coping mechanism, replacing Rick’s presence with the image of Bucky’s. But during the entire conversation with Rick, despite Steve seeing him as Bucky, he can hear what Rick is saying and understand clearly how it doesn’t fit in with what Bucky would say. Steve understands this, but he chooses to ignore it. He tries to keep playing along with his little game, and keep up the illusion as long as he can. Desperation, maybe, to see when the 'dream’ will end, how far he has to play along before he can wake up.

And yet.

Yet, despite the fact that Steve believes he’s in a dream, he still remains ultimately unchanged in one of his biggest character traits:

The first thing Steve did when stepping back into New York was rush to the aid of a young woman getting robbed. Despite Rick calling him crazy, and Steve believing he’s in a dream - therefore whatever he does should logically have no real consequence - he decides to help Rick in finding the Avengers.

The illusion doesn’t break in the face of everything that his 'brain’ keeps coming up with – the internet, females as Doctors, foreign languages, modern slang, etc etc – until he’s faced with FDR’s death. It’s what makes the illusion snap inside of Steve’s mind and it breaks him out of his trauma induced delusion forcibly. He ends up leaving Rick and going after the man they’re after himself.

And when Steve finds out it’s an alien, when he’s faced with yet ANOTHER oddity that he couldn’t possibly come up with, faced with the reality that he’s really in the future and Bucky’s not here, faced with his world crumbling around him – all Steve can do is laugh. He laughs. Like it’s funny, because it’s the only thing he can really do. The only other option is cry and grieve and face the fact that he’s lost EVERYTHING.

Despite snapping out of the hallucinations and coming to terms with the reality of things, Steve remains vehemently determined to find his way back home. Despite being impressed and overjoyed w/ the future’s accomplishments, he wants to go home. but despite his stubbornness to go home, he listens to the President’s orders above all else. Bitterness possibly at Tony, for exposing him to all this information, knowing he wouldn’t be able to go home afterwards because of it. Steve’s silent breakdown by the foot of Lincoln’s statue, a small figure in comparison to the cold marble, all by himself with his head in his hands, cuts a very solemn and tragic figure. The juxtaposition between both Steve’s current attitude now - solemn, sad, beaten down - to how his attitude was just earlier in the issue - awed, inspired and impressed - as well as Steve sat hunched in front of the Lincoln Statue, which sits tall and proud, is pretty remarkable.

Steve was impressed by the future but from an outsider’s point of view : like sitting in a class, watching a documentary play. What you see astounds you, but it’s a documentary and it ends, and you go back to your own life. Steve expected that. He expected to go back to his life. The future held many remarkable things but it wasn’t, in his opinion, his time. It wasn’t his world, no matter how much better things seemed. Then you have Steve sitting in front of Lincoln’s statue : two larger than life figures that dedicated themselves to their country. Both etched in time, both someone many people know of. Only Steve’s not standing still in time : he’s just out of it. He’s out of place.

It’s in the fourth issue that you really start seeing the shift in Steve’s attitude. He’s downtrodden : he feels beaten down, lost, and at a crossroads with no clue where to go. Thor’s words, while probably meant in a good natured way, didn’t help. The next few pages show even more examples of the juxtaposition that Steve embodies : he fights alongside the Avengers and accepts his duty, given to him by his President and country, but he doesn’t stop searching for links to his past either. He tries to find evidence of Bucky and Peggy’s existences, and eventually visits his commanding officer, General Jacob Simon. A man from his past, who opens Steve’s eyes to all the corruption and cruelty of the world, when Steve had been shown only the good and the progress by Tony, a man from the future. There’s a clear divide shown, between Steve fighting for peace, justice, and good both on his own against what General Simon tells him about as well as with the Avengers, and Steve being crushed by the weight of all the evil, the injustice, and the cruelty of the modern day world. Being exposed to the horrors.

He feels even less, and less like he belongs, despite having a spot on the Avengers, and while he shows his disgust and disappointment with General Simon, he hides his feelings well from his teammates. He’s distant to them, as seen when Iron Man tells Hank Pym that he barely ever sees Cap anymore. Steve is silently grieving: for his life, and for what he’s woken up into, something he fought to protect and create that’s not as great or beautiful as he thought it would be.

The entire issue is very much reference to the opening conversation between Bucky and Steve at the start of the series: Steve, being tired and wanting to sleep but doing what he’s asked to do, being where he’s needed. Only now Steve has a home he needs to get back to, but the war he’s fighting is more internal and impossible that it’s one he’ll never really come back from, one he hasn’t come back from even in today’s comics.

When Steve is finally, finally transported back to his own time by way of Kang, at first he’s shocked. But shock gives way to relief. Not joy ; not excitement ; relief. Steve is relieved to be back home. But throughout the issue, his expressions mainly seem too serious, too somber to match the eagerness and impatience he’d displayed earlier in the series about getting home. A man even asks him, “How’s it feel to be back home? Pretty terrific, I bet!” 

and Steve pauses for a bit before answering with a ‘it’s good’. But Steve’s not smiling, despite having said he’d missed this just a few seconds earlier, Steve is showing anything but happiness. He’s finally back in his own time, and catching up on things, but – his perspective has changed. Most telling of this fact, is that slowly over the course of the first seven pages, the color fades. It fades so that everyone in the background is in black and white, but Steve stays in color. It’s a total juxtaposition to the first two issues, where Steve hallucinated and imagined everyone in the future / present to be someone from his past. The only difference now is that the people in black and white are the people from his past. The only people in color are the images of his teammates he sees on a circus poster, in place of the actual carnies. The people in the 40s are the ones that Steve knows. Except now Steve knows more. He’s experienced something extraordinary and new : and he’s changed because of it.

Steve has, for all his emotional displacement in the future, adapted mentally to the cultural and societal shifts that it offered and gave. It causes a rift between him and the 1940s, where things are different from what he’d seen in the future, where progress hasn’t yet been made, despite all the issues and problems that had been created in the future, something important happens in this final issue.

Steve realizes that even when he’s home he has no one, nothing to stay for or come back to. It’s shown in his worry and constant thoughts for the Avengers, because they are in the future and they are something he has to go back for. Bucky is not there. Steve feels he can do for the Avengers what he couldn’t for Bucky : Save them. And he does.

Steve: It’s odd. All I wanted was to be back home, Noonan, and now that I am…I don’t feel ready to put down roots. Why is that? Noonan: Eh. We all gotta get readjusted, am I right? Don’t be sad, be proud! We fought the good fight, and the job is done! Steve: It’s not that simple for me. I have…I had these friends…And the last time I was with them, they were in trouble. I couldn’t help Bucky…And now I’ve failed them, too. Noonan: I don’t know what you mean by “failed 'em”, but if it’s that important…there’s nothing you can do? You know what Captain America says, Rogers: “there’s always a way.”

Steve realizes how he doesn’t belong ; not to the future, and not to the past anymore either. Most people when they think of Steve, and hear the words “man out of time”, tend to only associate it with him being a man of the past in the future. And that is true. But that’s only half of it. Steve is a man out of time in all regards. He says it himself in several different medias, in the movies, in the comics, in different eras : he never fit in, even in his own personal life. He always stood out. He didn’t want to, but he did. But the past is what Steve knew: it held his life, and his potential for a normal one after the war. Now Steve is enlightened, he’s seen the future. He’s lived in it. This issue is showing that even when he DID go back to his own time, and had every opportunity to stay, he couldn’t. He didn’t fit in. It didn’t fit him. Steve lives in a future where it’s very much the same, but he actually serves a purpose.

This goes back to the fact that Steve is a man who fights for peace but is at constant war – and is made for it. However much he dreams of a normal life, it’s not in his cards. We can come full circle here, and draw back on Bucky and Steve’s conversation in the beginning: Steve doesn’t know what he wants to do after the war is over. Captain America is what Steve knows best. Fighting the good fight. Living in the 40s, after the war is over and peace reigns is certainly a tempting thought for Steve, but it’s not a realistic option for him. Not anymore. Not with everything he’s learned, and not with how he is. He goes back to help the Avengers because that’s what he’s always done: help. The Avengers gave him a PURPOSE. Steve may not fit in, and he feels a lot of disassociation with the world and the people, the current culture, but he’ll protect it.

[rhoeysama]

So, I was going to write an essay about Nancy Wheeler, self-acceptance and the undue hate that she receives, but it accidentally turned into so much more than that. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to share it at all, but seeing as I lost myself in writing this, and it feels like such a big chunk of my soul is in this, I will. I’m rambling about Nancy and Jonathan and getting my thoughts out, and it’s perhaps a bit messy, but I just wanted to share my thoughts on these two characters. Although some of the writing on the show is lacking, in my opinion, and doesn’t do Nancy and Jonathan the justice that I think they deserve, I really like them, and their relationship, and I just want to express that. 

It’s about the concept of self-acceptance and being true to oneself, and about Nancy’s journey to finding herself and how it connects to real life. It’s long and ranty, but if you want, you can read it and hopefully it wasn’t a complete waste of time. :) 

* * * * * * * * 

Nancy was quick to forgive Jonathan for his mistake because she’s a compassionate person. 

She was willing to give Jonathan the benefit of doubt; willing to believe that his heart was in the right place, that he’s not a bad person and didn’t have malicious intent with what he did. He just made a bad decision, at a bad time, when his head wasn’t screwed on just right, after his brother had went missing. And on top of that, he’s only seventeen.

She was genuinely curious about why Jonathan took her picture in the first place. 

“What was I saying [when you took my picture]?” 

She wanted to understand his reasoning behind it (to learn more about him, what's going on inside that head of his, what makes him tick), so much so that she brought it up again later and pressed him for an answer. He didn’t want to answer, because he had already said his sorry and acknowledgment of having overstepped a boundary and been “weird”. And when he finally gave in to her prodding and presented his observation, she became angry. It just happened to be very awkward when it came from a boy who appeared to like her, which is why she tried to chalk it up to him just being jealous of Steve. But that wasn’t the only reason. She got angry because he was right, and she knew it. After all, he wasn't the first person to vocalize that she was trying to be someone she isn’t.

Barbara: “Nance, this isn’t you.”

Dustin (to Mike): “There’s something wrong with your sister. She’s got a stick up her butt. (...) She’s turning into a real jerk. (...) She used to be cool.”

Jonathan (to Nancy): “I saw this girl, trying to be someone else. But in that moment, you were alone, or you thought you were, and you could just be yourself.”

Nancy was changing her behavior and making bad choices to be liked by a boy. But she never wanted to - or tried to - join in on the bullying and mocking of others just to be part of his group and be perceived as “cool”. Steve even pointed this out to Tommy and Carol: “Neither of you cared about her. You never even liked her. Because she’s not miserable like you two, she actually cares about other people.”     

The compassionate Nancy is the real Nancy. The Nancy who cares about others. The Nancy who's willing to listen to someone’s side of a story, and not simply dismiss them and believe the rumors about them instead. The Nancy who’d rather end the suffering of a wounded animal than leave it to die a slow, painful death. The Nancy who’d rather buy bear traps and a can of gasoline and go after and kill a monster than let it claim more victims. The Nancy who puts her own life in danger to get justice for her dead best friend and her parents. The Nancy who dances with the lonely adolescent boy who's crying because nobody wanted to be his dance partner, and cheers him up with words of encouragement. 

That’s the real Nancy Wheeler. 

Not the one who slams doors in other’s faces when they kindly offer her their left over pizza. Not the one who looks on when someone’s property is taken by force and destroyed as revenge. Not the one who tells her best friend - whom she dragged to a party she didn’t want to go to in the first place - to get lost while she goes upstairs to have sex. Not the one who drunkenly calls her boyfriend “bullshit”. 

Being young, especially a teenager, is hard. You have limited experience and knowledge about the world, but plenty of feelings and thoughts and you’re vulnerable and exposed and people can be so cruel, so relentless. Everyone is going through their own life with their own burdens, and deals with it differently. Some bottle it up, some lash out, some bully, some drink and do drugs or party and have plenty of sex to dull the pain. Some, unfortunately, commit suicide. But everybody deals in their own way, and most people wise up, mature, and grow into the people they were always meant to be. Not all, but most. 

And we all have an essence, an authentic self. Someone we were born to be, but the world tried to take it from us. And that is why the way we act when we’re alone is who we truly are. That’s when our walls come down and we drop our masks. 

This is why Jonathan is an interesting character to me. He saw Nancy as something more than she appeared to be. She was a genie in a bottle, and that bottle had become increasingly small as she was growing, but she was still trying to fit, even if it wasn’t in her own best interest. (And Jonathan saw in her what she saw in Will, and what he had told him as well: to just be himself.) 

There are many things we do in private when we’re alone that we would never ever do with others around. I, for instance, talk to myself. A lot. Like, have actual animated, heated debates, complete with all sorts of funny faces and voices, it’s almost like a performance, except I prefer mine not to have an audience. I also sing terrible “opera”, and laugh at myself for how bad it is, because it’s pretty bad, but that’s okay. It’s all in good fun. I also do a lot of voice acting, trying to imitate Eric Cartman, or Rick and Morty or any random Pokemon, but again, it’s awful (but I hear I make a very believable Bulbasaur!). It’s mine, and mine alone, and I’m not willing to share unless I’m 100% comfortable around someone. But it’s something I have accepted, and I’m content with it. It’s all a part of who I am. It’s valid, it’s authentic, it’s weird, it’s human. 

This is everyone. Every single person. And guess what? It’s okay. Because none of us learn how to be human, it’s not like it’s taught in school. Or on TV. And all of us are in this life, trying to figure it all out, and most of us don’t have much to go on except for what we absorb from the culture we happen to find ourselves in. And all that culture has to offer is this checklist of things you’re supposed to have, you’re supposed to do, supposed to be. And that’s not all; there’s a deadline for each of those boxes on the checklist! Also, there’s a shit ton of fine print and legalese, and people who will sneak a peak at your list and ask you why you haven’t checked the boxes yet and ostracize you for it, too. 

Nobody tells you that everyone does that weird or gross thing you’re doing when no one’s watching, except that others have their weird or gross thing while you have yours, and yes, everyone thinks they’re the only one doing it, and if anyone found out, oh dear lord have mercy. That’s why we don’t really talk about these things, either. So we shut up about it, think we’re alone in our weirdness, and try to emulate our surroundings, and everyone’s basically just a bunch of fakers wearing masks and creating these fictional personas of themselves to put out there in the world. It’s a defense mechanism, because people are cruel and judgmental and ruthless. They are ready to tear you down if you don’t behave a certain way, if you don’t fall in line and get with the program. 

People are messy and complicated; LIFE is messy and complicated. Nothing is ever straight-forward or obvious, because even adults don’t always know what to do and don’t always have their lives figured out. Sometimes everything looks idyllic and perfect on the surface, and they have all the boxes checked on their list, but they may still be deeply dissatisfied and unhappy. All of this comes from the lies we tell ourselves: if only I have this and this and this, I will be happy. 

The truth is, it’s the other way around: if you’re not happy and grateful for the things you already have, no amount of things and good happening in your life is ever going to make it any better. 

So, one of the hardest things you can do in life is to accept yourself for who you are, and learn to love yourself, just the way you are. It’s hard, in the face of reality, in which most people don’t share your sentiment, most people don’t like themselves and would much rather NOT accept themselves, and that’s why they won’t accept you as you are, either. Because the way our consumer culture has evolved is by constantly making sure that people feel dissatisfied and unhappy with what they have and who they are, so that they keep on buying more, buying more, consuming, consuming, consuming. And on the other side of the same coin is the religions and politics, the meddling authoritarians on both sides of the spectrum trying to put their ideological shackles on you and keep you in a shoebox (or the “magic lamp”/bottle), when there’s a whole limitless universe out there.

When you’re a teenager, you start waking up to these facts, and it’s ridiculously hard. Coming out of childhood, suddenly realizing what this world is all about. Realizing that there’s so much suffering in the world, and you feel it too, but there’s not much you can do about it. 

But there is, actually. You can start with yourself, and extend kindness to those who need it. Extend kindness to yourself first by not lying to yourself because it’s more convenient. The truth has a tendency to catch up to us, and it will sooner or later, and the longer one waits, the messier it will be. Once you learn to be kind to yourself and ask yourself “Who am I, really? What do I want?”, you will start embracing your true self, even if the journey there will be rough and ugly. You’ll lose friends along the way, and maybe family, too. People will get pissed at you and some will even try to ruin your life and your reputation.   

But no one can learn and grow unless they go for what they truly want, what they hold to be true, push their boundaries, and inevitably hurt others and themselves in the process. If we never do any of these things, our lives will stagnate, nothing will ever happen we get nowhere. When we stop learning, we’re dead. 

Being a teenager is hard, because life is hard. It’s especially hard when you know who you are, and you know that what you want in life, and what you like, and the very essence of your soul does not mesh well with what’s expected of you. 

Jonathan knows who he is, and he’s accepted that he’s a “freak”, and that’s okay. Nancy is still figuring things out, but starting to embrace her true self more, and thankfully she has Jonathan there to help her with that. 

[aion-rsa]

The Suicide Squad: Joel Kinnaman Finds a “Stranger, Funnier” Side of Rick Flag

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Joel Kinnaman has been on a hot streak since 2016’s Suicide Squad. He’s become a stalwart sci-fi action leading man, headlining the Netflix adaptation of Altered Carbon, Amazon Prime’s Hanna, and most recently, winning raves as For All Mankind’s Edward Baldwin. But all that time, Rick Flag was still hanging around, waiting for Kinnaman to come back. And with James Gunn taking the reins of the new sequel, The Suicide Squad, Kinnaman jumped at the chance to rejoin the Squad.

Playing one of only four returning characters, one would think that Joel Kinnaman would be carrying some benefits and some baggage into The Suicide Squad. As it turns out, that’s half right: as Kinnaman tells us in an interview, the camaraderie and chemistry with his returning castmates is there, but any baggage of carrying the first movie’s “plot donkey” forward was completely lifted from him by the new director’s tone and style. 

What was your journey with Rick Flag like between when the first film came out and when this one started shooting?

It was in this sort of no man’s land in a way. The first film was a big financial success, but I think we all agreed that the end result didn’t really add up to what we had hoped and set out to do.  This went through a couple of other directors that were interested in taking it on. But when James Gunn came on board, it got really real, real quick, and everyone realized what a great opportunity this was.

When I read James’ first draft…it just had everything that we always hoped that this franchise would be. It really had a sincere love for the characters, and it found some odd emotional depth in it. But at the same time, it was just really funny and silly. Every page made me laugh.

I felt maybe on the first movie, I was a little bit of a plot donkey. And here, it’s a much looser, stranger, funnier version of Rick Flag. The first conversations I had with James were how I didn’t really feel like I wanted to be constrained by what I did in the first film. I wanted to go at this almost looking at it as a new character. He was all for that. 

What do you see as Rick’s core as a character? 

[He’s] a guy who, the military is his family, and he grew up without parents. So, he is what he does. Of course, you have to find the pain and the emotional depth of any character that you’re going to do. I think over the course of this film…I can’t really spoil it too much, but if the military is his family, Rick Flag, over the course of this film, has a reckoning with his family.

You’re no stranger to action or science fiction, but how were those elements different in this film than the first, or other stuff that you’ve done? 

The scale on this is just on another level. Because it’s so heavily R-rated, you’re completely free to do whatever and say whatever you want. It just gives you complete free rein to explore this. It really is like a war movie at its center, with so much ridiculous silliness in the middle of all that. And then John Cena has a silver toilet seat on his head throughout the whole film, so you’re balancing a lot of different elements here.

Who in the cast do you feel brought out the best in you as a performer when you were working with them?

I definitely had some heavy stuff with John. That was really fun, and I loved his perverted mind at work. Everyone in this movie is fantastic. David Dastmalchian (Polka-Dot Man) is a remarkable actor and he taps into my Swedish sense of humor, where it’s all a little suicidal. It’s just the comedy of some really depressed, depraved person. Idris Elba is a phenomenal actor. Me and Margot Robbie always have fun. And also, Steve Agee, who played the physical aspect of King Shark. 

It’s a very rich cast. Everyone brought something, and it was very high level. Me, Idris, and Margot would talk, because I think we’re actors who come more from a dramatic corner of our profession, and we were paired with a lot of actors who maybe come more from the comedic side. It was a beautiful marriage.

I’ve never been asked to say things that ridiculous before, and I realized how difficult it can be. They make it look so easy. It’s really a very advanced art form…even more so being the straight man. It takes a lot of work just dialing that timing in, and it’s really helpful to be around these great comedic actors, but then also to have a director who has such a finely attuned sense of it. 

Who was the funniest person on set? 

I think it was clearly John. He kicked it up to another level. He’s a fucking comedic genius. He’s really funny and just the nicest guy.

James has said that the action in this movie is going to rely a lot on practical effects. Did you have any particularly challenging moments? How much gore were you covered in during the shooting?

There was quite a bit of gore, but then we also had these little, sort of Saving Private Ryan beach sequences, where it’s a full-on war, with shit blowing up left and right and we’re running through it. I haven’t really done that on that scale with that many extras before. When James said that he was making it a war movie, I didn’t really think he actually meant a war movie, so that was pretty cool.

Were you relieved to know that your costume was a lot less intricate than some of your costars?

Yeah. My makeup times were very easy. I’d pop in, and it probably took me like five minutes in makeup and costume. Margot’s just sitting there for two hours, with full body makeup. I’m shooting For All Mankind right now. In that one, I’m now feeling the three-hour makeup in the morning pain. So I’m paying it back on For All Mankind.

Which members of the Squad are Rick closest to in the film? And who gets on his nerves the most?

Well, actually in this one, Flag and Harley have become much closer, as you’ll see…and also with Captain Boomerang. They’re sort of like, OG Squad members now. I think everyone else, he’s constantly very suspicious of. 

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The Suicide Squad opens on Aug. 6 in theaters and HBO Max. 

Check out more on The Suicide Squad in the latest issue of Den of Geek!

The post The Suicide Squad: Joel Kinnaman Finds a “Stranger, Funnier” Side of Rick Flag appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3nrGOvq

[neganandblake]

I think I liked you better when you didn’t have a knife in your hand, Peaches... Chapter 79 - Working for points

When Blake finds herself sold out to the Saviours by her abusive fiancé, she realises that she's certainly not on her own anymore and finds an unlikely friend in Negan. And Negan does NOT like men who beat their girlfriends, one tiny bit….

MASTERLIST

Chapter 79 - Working for points

[Blake find that in the wake of her and Negan’s fall out, the leader of the Saviours has changed a few rules for her...which certainly only seems to exacerbate the situation for both of them further.]

Blake awoke early the next morning, it taking a her a few moments to remember the events of the previous day.

But of course, they soon came rushing back to her, jabbing at her senses like a knife to the stomach.

Just the way Negan had looked at her…with pure hatred and anger in his eyes…that had hurt more than Blake could even say.

But what had hurt more, had been his words. Had Negan really supposed that she and Steve had slept with one another, back in Alexandria? Did he really think that little of her?

She had told him at the time, when Negan had walked in on Steve trying to kiss her in that kitchen, that there had been nothing to worry about…so why now had he changed his mind and began not to trust her? After all they had been through together?

The pair had said a lot of hurtful things to one other over this past week but it was the lack of trust that pained her the most…

…but then perhaps Negan was merely hurting Blake in retaliation for all the things she had accused him of….for not caring…for only being concerned with himself.

Blake had given a sigh, rubbing her face with her hand now…praying she wouldnn't start to cry again.

Last night she had stood in the garden alone, sobbing, long after the sky above her had grown dark, and the lots surrounding the Sanctuary had emptied completely.

She had gone inside and not bothered grabbing anything to eat, not feeling up to it right now and so had gone straight to her room collapsing onto her bed, with puffy eyes and red, tear-streaked, cheeks.

But this morning Blake knew she needed to pull herself together. There were lots to be getting on with in the garden and she would try and use that as a good distraction. For what else did she have right now…?

She had contemplated leaving. But where would she go? She had cut herself off from Rick and the people back at Alexandria….aligned herself with the Saviours who, of course, had enemies everywhere.

She was screwed. So she would stay here…for as long as she could bare at least…

Although at the rate she was currently going, that wouldn't be long.

But Blake, shook herself now. For this wasn't the time to start feeling sorry for herself. She still had it good here…with three meals a day…running water….whatever supplies she needed…

…she of course knew that life could be a lot worse out there on the road all alone.

And so, lifting herself up and out of bed, the caramel-blonde woman, grabbing towel and a bottle of shampoo she had taken from the marketplace downstairs, padded out into the hallway, heading to the bathrooms.

Less than thirty minutes later, with stomach rumbling, Blake walked into the large canteen, damp hair tied up in a loose knot on top of her head, with a pair of indigo jeans on and a white blouse.

She gazed about now, spotting Arat, Danny and a couple of other Saviours chatting in the corner, but no Negan today, which was a relief. For Blake was not yet ready to face the dark-haired Saviour again. Not after what had been said between them last night.

The place was fairly busy today with most of the Sanctuary's residents frequenting here at this time of the morning to pick up whatever sustenance their points could afford them, before beginning the working day.

Even Dr Carson could be seen on the far side of the large hall sat alone at a table eating a plate of waffles with a book spread out on the scrubbed wooden table before him.

Blake walked across the room, avoiding the eye of most people as she did so, before reaching the end of the short line for breakfast. And from the glorious smell that was wafting towards her, it looked like they were serving eggs, with waffles, and syrup, as well as freshly baked bread. Just that alone was enough to make Blake's mouth water these days.

And so in less than a minute she had reached the front, coming to stand before the two Saviours stood behind the makeshift serving counter.

Blake recognised the pair of them immediately, them being the same watery-eyed red-head and the white haired man, who had been here just last week when Negan had made the woman cry. And yet again, today the woman was stood serving, while the older man stood beside her, crossed out items and scored off points in a huge ledger.

The woman offered Blake an immediate warm smile and busied herself piling Blake's try high with food items.

But as Blake reached out a hand to take the tray from the woman's grasp, giving her a brief thank you of sincere gratitude, the white-haired man at her side suddenly snatched the woman's hand back.

"Wait," he said, his fingers running across a place in the large book before him, not even raising his eyes to look at either of them. "She doesn't have enough points for that."

Blake blinked and stared at him suddenly, the hint of a smile dropping from her features.

"Yeah, she's got enough for the waffle and the syrup but not for the eggs or the roll," he uttered again, to the red-head beside him, speaking as if Blake wasn't even there.

The female Saviour almost immediately retracted the tray, looking guilty, as she scraped the eggs from the plate back down into the vat before her.

But Blake could only gulp now as she stared up in shock at the pair in front of her now.

"I…errr…I don't understand…" she said in a quiet voice.

But the white haired man gave a short huff, scratching out points against Blake's name, before finally gazing up at her beneath arched eyebrows.

"We've had the order to add you to the points system as of yesterday," he said shortly. "And working in that gardens for what…ten hours… that gets you forty points."

Blake felt her heart pounding as her eyes drifted down to the plate of waffles and syrup before her, a nervous frown appearing between her brows.

"So if I take this…does that mean I won't have enough points to eat later this afternoon…o-or this evening?" she asked, her voice wavering slightly as she spoke.

But the man gave a grumbling sigh.

"Well I guess you can take just the bread," he said huffily. "And that'll mean you might have enough for a portion of fresh vegetables tonight…depending on how hard you work today."

Blake felt her heart plummet into her stomach now, feeling the eyes of the people stood behind her in the line on her now, causing her cheeks to burn red.

She gave another gulp, her eyes drifting down to the plate before her.

"I-I'll just take the bread then," she said, hearing her voice begin to break.

But she willed herself to hold it together as the red-haired woman looking sad, switched the plates over, instead handing Blake a small plate with a single bread roll on it.

"If you want spread, that'll be five extra points," said the man turning back to his book disinterestedly, and calling forward the next Saviour in the line. "Next!"

Blake gave another hard gulp, staring down at the piece of bread in her hand, feeling so guilty for the amount of food she had been entitled to these weeks living at the Sanctuary while everyone around her, not in Negan's favour, had scraped by just to fill their bellies even half full.

Quietly, feeling wholly embarrassed, Blake hurried over towards the long table far off in the corner of the room, sitting alone now not wanting any more attention.

She wasn't however, aware of Arat's eyes following her across said dining hall, stopping abruptly in her conversation with Danny.

Blake took a seat, with her back to the grimy wall, tearing apart the dry bread roll with her fingers and eaten it silently, thinking on everything.

She wasn't surprised of course that Negan would make her work for points. For that was, of course, how things worked around her for everyone else. Why shouldn't she be any different?

But, feeling utterly despondent, Blake barely noticed the curly-haired general come to stand before her.

"Hey," uttered Arat, breaking Blake suddenly from her thoughts, as she blinked up at her.

Blake gave a gulping attempt at a smile now, worried that Arat might have come to her to give her orders from Negan to leave…

But instead the woman just shifted her weight from foot-to-foot and chewed on her lip for a moment, before speaking again.

"..listen…" she said, giving a a small frown. "…for the record…I think putting you on the points system is kinda a shitty move."

Blake bit at her own lip now, gazing up at the tough looking Saviour before her.

For she knew it took a lot for Arat to speak out about Negan, as loyal as she was to him.

"…and I just wanted you to know that…" Arat gave a small sigh, peering down at Blake earnestly. "….that if you need anything….anything that you don't have enough points for…I'll get it for you….no questions asked."

Blake felt tears pricking at the back of her eyes now at Arat's generosity at her own risk.

"T-Thank you," stuttered back Blake, as Arat gave a swift nod before turning on her heel and marching swiftly back over to the small group of generals on the far side of the room.

That was the second time in just a few days that Arat had reached out to her, and Blake honestly appreciated it. Feeling less alone here now that she should have done.

For at the end of the day, even without Negan, Blake still had Arat, the wives, Eugene…

She was not alone.

She had hope.

Hope for a better life that she would have out there anyway. Even it did involve working for her supper.

And Blake had barely been sat alone for even a minute, when suddenly, a young boy of about seven or eight years old approached her looking a little nervous, holding out a plate piled high with yellow scrambled eggs.

He had short brown hair and was missing a front tooth, but smiled politely, setting the eggs down onto the table before her.

"These are from us…" he said in a sweet-little voice, pointing back over his shoulder, to where a couple in their forties, who must have been the boy's Mom and Dad, sat alongside a few other skinny-looking Saviours.

They all grinned over at Blake, and the caramel-blonde woman almost immediately recognised the teenage girl she had one given the tampons to, back in the marketplace several long weeks ago now.

"Thank you so much," said Blake to the kid, giving a shaky gulp, as the boy skipped happily away, heading back over to his parents.

She felt overwhelmed now, that people would think about her and be so generous.. especially when they themselves had so little to give. She promised herself she would return the favour one day.

But this had been exactly what Blake had been trying to tell Negan all along.

Sure, he had an empire here, but sometimes being good and kind to other people would get you so much further than a dictatorship where people were starved and forced to work for very little.

Blake ate every last morsel of what was on her plate…hoping to god she could drag out her points enough to manage to get herself up to at least two meals a day.

Working out there in the garden was exhausting and without some sustenance, that kind of toil would be hard.

And so, picking herself up and clearing her plates to the side, she began to head out of the dining hall, making for the corridor that led out to the walled garden.

But before Blake could make a move, she heard a sudden voice behind her.

"Hey! Blake, wait up!"

She recognised the voice, instantly, grimacing a little as she swung around, coming face to face with –

"Hi...Steve…" she murmured, a little irritably, gazing up at the tall, brown haired man as he crossed the room towards her, drawing the eyes of several women as he did so.

He was conventionally handsome, with large tanned biceps bursting from the tight white t-shirt he had obviously loaned from the marketplace.

He ran a hand through his ruffled hair, as he beamed down at her. Happier than he probably should be here, noted Blake.

What was his MO?

Surely he hadn't seriously come here to become a Saviour or one of Negan's men? Right?

Blake eyed him a little cautiously, but Steve seemed unperturbed.

"God this place is like a maze isn't it?" he grinned, stepping closer to her now, looking like a hulking great puppy with wide cheerful eyes. "I came down here earlier looking for you, but didn't manage to spot you."

But Blake scratched at her arm, giving a dry gulp.

"Yeah…I was just about to head out to get some work done on the garden," she muttered back in an attempt to get away from Steve. The more the pair of them hung out the more likely it would look to Negan and the rest of the Saviours, that what Negan had implied, had indeed been true

But Steve clapped his hands together brightly.

"Great, I'll join you," he uttered happily as a couple of skinny women waltzed by, looking him up and down as they passed the pair of them. "It'll give me something to do around here…so I can get some points to my name…. and prove myself a bit, y'know?"

Blake did know….

And that was what worried her.

For she knew just how far Negan would make his men and women go to 'prove' themselves to him…

"I dunno," she said, darting her eyes away and chewing on her lip.

But Steve took another intimate step into her, grasping hold of her upper arm gently and coaxingly. "Oh come on," he urged nudging her slightly, and leaning into her. "Give me a chance to prove myself to you too, huh? How about it?"

Blake didn't want to, but the way Steve was looking at her, almost pleading right now, his face right up close to hers, she didn't have much choice.

And besides, he was bound to be safer with her in the garden, keeping out of Negan's way, than he was walking the halls and getting under people's feet with his eagerness to help.

"Ok, fine," she said with a soft sigh, twitching a smile up towards him. And with that the shoved past him, making her way out of the marketplace towards the long corridor, bumping Steve's shoulder as she did so.

"But you can do all the heavy lifting, we clear?" she murmured.

And Steve gave a chuckle and barely lingered for a second, before following obediently behind her out of the large open-plan room.

But what neither of them had noticed, was that on the walkway high above the room, Negan was stood, jaw clenched watching the pair's every move….their closeness…their touching….the way Blake had just smiled gently before leading Steve away…

His blood was boiling with fury and pure jealously now, his grip tightening on the barbed wire covered baseball bat in his hand….

But what the fuck could he do now?

Kill the stupid fucking son of bitch? After Blake had defended him?

Nope. For Negan knew that if he did that, he might as well send her away right now, for she would never ever fucking forgive him.

But Negan was angry…hurt…and wasn't happy about the pretty-boy's fucking appearance here, not one fucking bit.

But turning on his heel...he headed once again from the canteen...heading up to his office...determined to keep an eye on the pair of them...even if it was the last thing he fucking did.

It was long after lunch, as Blake picked herself up stiffly, a short spade in one hand, covered in dirt and fresh soil... that a large bag of fertilizer was suddenly dropped down at her feet, making her jump in fright.

"That's the last sack of it," said a sudden panting Steve from her left coming to stop just a foot or two away from her now.

The pair had worked here all morning in the morning sunshine, Blake putting the brown-haired guy to work moving bags of compost from one end of the lot to the other, working as far away from her as he could possibly get.

But Blake, who clutched her hand to her chest, glancing up at him now…. gulped almost immediately at the sight that met her eyes….

For there was Steve with his shirt off, revealing a taut and tanned torso, almost hairless, perfect-looking and beaded with perspiration.

What the hell was he doing?!

There were plenty of other Saviours working out here now…a few men just a few feet away from them in fact. And none of them had felt the need to start working without their tops on.

Blake averted her eyes almost instantly.

"Oh…right…ok…" she nodded, placing her hands to her hips, trying to search for something to say.

But she barely needed to. As before she could utter another word, Steve had stepped close to her….

Blake's breath caught in the back of her throat now, staring up….

…as the brown-haired man suddenly leaned in towards her…

Fuck.

Blake held her breath, her mouth going completely dry…as Steve lifted his smooth hand to her face….

Fuck, was this the kitchen all over again?!

Here in front of everybody? Really?

No, no, no…

Had she led him on in any way? Given him even a hint that she was interested in him?

But to Blake's utter relief….Steve merely brushed at her cheek gently with his thumb.

"You had some dirt on you," he uttered with a warm smile, licking gently at his lips.

And Blake couldn't help but let out a shaky breath as she realised just how close they were now…

His lips just an inch or two from hers….

Blake peered up at him…hoping to god he wasn't about to try anything…when suddenly, something glinting in the sunshine, caught her eye….

…movement in a window…high above the garden….

Blake at once squinted against the sun and blinked suddenly…seeing a figure stood there….

….a figure now watching the pair of them….

Blake hurriedly pulled away from Steve, taking a couple of sudden steps back as she frowned darkly…

...realization of just who that person was, dawning upon her, as she took him in…

Negan.

Stood in that window, leather jacket shrugged over his shoulders… watching her….no, spying on her…

Checking up on what she was doing with Steve…

And in that moment, Blake let out a roar of anger, tossing down her spade with a loud clang, drawing the attention of every single person in that garden at that very moment.

That was it.

Fuck it, she had had enough.

And so, shoving Steve aside, Blake stormed back into through the large doorway that led back into the Sanctuary…her teeth gritted tightly together…

…angrier than she had been in a long, long time…

...heading off to find Negan...

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged/untagged in this fic. More coming soon…

@collette04 | @attorneyl | @charoly | @princessmoonspunky | @mssharingisfun | @shimmerybutt | @yellatthetopofyourlungs | @daydreamsandchai | @onemorebeautifulnightmare | @arwa-alii | @letsdosciencekids | @maggiesourie | @blumenkind72 | @toloaughistolove | @alonna-oxoxox | @brebre149 | @hibernatingallyearround | @baked-potatoes | @elinyaes | @jmackie1983 | @starbabysparkle | @christynjay | @mwesterfeld1985 | @letseatandsleep | @xxqueenofisolationxx| @jml509 | @uselessdarylblog​ | @soursuckers | @padmeisgay​ | @waddiwasi44 | @karlbourbonismyhero​ | @lfsbitencourt | @toxic-ink | @laaadygisbooornex3 | @cutiedaij | @warriorqueen1991 | @ask-kakashihatake | @hayjeff54 |  @beast-by-name | @neganslilbitch | @ourtenderescapes | @itstheamandashow | @side-xix-men | @adriannawiggins | @dessie | @ariannaroba97 | @ivanna6026 | @soythedemonqueen | @lovelynerdytraveler | @joelssmugglingservice | @rissbennett | @kourtneyxgirl | @sophiestru24 | @intensemindorgasms

[ilovethings-somuch]

500 Follower Extravaganza

HELLO! as you can probably tell from the title, I reached 500 followers 😊 I couldn’t be more thankful for each and every one of you. So to celebrate I compiled a list of prompts

so the plan is you can either request a prompt that you want to see me write, or if you see a prompt that you want to write, you can write it, tag me in it, and I’ll share it! 

Rules:

no more than two (2) prompts per fic/drabble

each prompt will only be used by me once, however if I write something based on a prompt and someone else also wants to write something based on that prompt, that would be okay.

send me an ask to request and to let me know you will be writing something based on a prompt. 

I am willing to write: Chris Evans. Sebastian Stan, Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Diana Prince, Frank Adler, Chris Beck, and Carter Baizen

I think that’s all the rules I have, but I reserve the right to deny a request.

I’m going to tag my usual tag list as well as some friends, please share this, I would love to have lots of participants!

@amistillmyself @giftofdreams @wildestdreamsrps @iamwarrenspeace @castellandiangelo @always-an-evans-addict @pegasusdragontiger @helloitscrowley @thejulesworld @thewintersadie @valentinesbird @mycapt-ohcapt @whostheblondegirl @theycallmebecca @loricameback 

Prompts below the cut

(I added numbers to make all our lives easier)

“I’m in trouble.“

“He’s got a sword!“

“Oh, I feel sheepish.“

“You’re just… trapped.”

“I wish for your freedom.“

“All this for a loaf of bread?“

“Who disturbs my slumber?“

“Tell. Her. The. TRUUUUUTH!”

“Uh, rule #1: I can’t kill anybody.“

“I’ve been looking all over for you!“

“Tragic, isn’t it? But, no harm done.“

“I can’t believe it. I’m losing to a rug.“

“Quick, wish for something outrageous!”

“I can’t bring people back from the dead.“

“It’s not a pretty picture. I don’t like doing it!“

“All right, you bad boy. But no more freebies.”

“You’re too kind. I’m embarrassed. I’m blushing.”

“Sadly, yes. She is my sister. She’s a little crazy.“

“You’re speechless, I see. A fine quality in a wife.“

“Getting into trouble a little early today, aren’t we?”

“YOU’RE GETTIN’ YOUR WISHES, SO SIT DOWN!”

“Look at me from the side. Do I look different to you?“

“Looks like we’re gonna have to find a way outta here.”

“You’re gonna grant me any three wishes I want, right?“

“No, really. On a scale of one to ten, you are an eleven.“

“Trouble? No way. You’re only in trouble if you get caught.“

“Ten thousand years will give you such a crick in the neck.“

“You’ve certainly proven your worth as far as I’m concerned.“

“No matter what anybody says, you’ll always be a prince to me.“

“Rick ‘em, rack ‘em, rock ‘em, rake! Stick that sword into that snake!“

“But, what am I talking about? Let’s get real here, it’s not gonna happen.”

“Like so many things, it is not what is outside, but what is inside that counts.“

“If you wanna court the little lady, you gotta be a straight shooter. Do ya got it?”

“And all of a sudden you’re walking out on me? I don’t think so… Not right now!“

“Such a thing would be greater than all the magic and all the treasures in all the world!”

“Don’t turn that on!”

“I thought you meant "literally” metaphorically. “

“Good morning… I see the assassins failed again.”

“Did you see that? Please tell me you saw it.”

“I’m sorry, it was the HEAT OF THE MOMENT,”

“You’re just not enough anymore.”

“Kissing me breaks the promise… remember?”

“Every time we fix things something else ends up breaking.”

“Ah, it was all my fault.  Wasn’t it?”

“You never had that shine in your eyes when you were with me.”

“What makes you think I’ll be any different this time?”

“I’ll let you down.  I will always let you down.  I’m not enough for you to be satisfied.”

“Are you satisfied with the mess you’ve created out of me?”

“I should have listened to everyone who told me this was a bad idea.”

“I’ve never met someone who can so gently destroy me the way you do.”

“But I’m cold!”

“Hey, let me use your pockets to warm my hands.”

“Your nose is all red.”

“Yeah, Not gonna happen. Get your own hat.”

“That’s my jacket!”

“Why are you out here in this weather?”

“…Your gloves are supposed to match.”

“Hold my hand. It’ll be warmer.”

“My scarf always did look better on you.”

“I’m just warming you up.”

“I can’t feel my nose!”

“Come in, its freezing out there.”

“You suit rosy cheeks.”

“Here. Take my jacket.”

“Your lips are all blue.”

“Here. My scarf.”

“I can offer you exactly one of my gloves.”

“My jacket is big enough for us both.”

“Your hands are all cold…”

“You’re my regret.”