#like Oh yeah i can juggle btw. Just so you know.

[iindigoeyed]

two things about félix are factual:

he is a theater kid

he can do card tricks and other forms of stage magic

this means that it is entirely possible that félix fathom can juggle. thanks for your time

[fellow-fandom-fruitifier]

Listen, I know there are already reasons that Charles has anger issues and is a people pleaser but that doesn’t mean there can’t be more-

In this essay I (as someone with ADHD) will explain why I think Charles ADHD headcanon is so valid. (‘S gonna be a lot so it’s all under the cut.)

Symptom number one: Irrational Anger

Gonna get the more obvious ones out of the way real quick. Now, listen, Charles has every right to be angry, but his tolerance window for anger seems to be pretty low and I’ll bet anything that’s cause he doesn’t like to be angry. So he just refuses to learn how to cope with it.

症状数字二、八方美人 (Symptom number two: People Pleasing)

I know their are multiple factors for why he’s like this but EVERYONE has multiple factors for why they’re like that so LET ME HAVE THIS!!! But yeah Charles lives to help his friends and feels useless/worthless when he can’t do that.

Síntoma número tres: Enmascaramiento (Masking)

Sir “It’s squinting.” Rowland. We’ve seen him pull on a mask and shove down his true emotions SEVERAL times in the show. It happens after the Devlin house when they meet up with Niko, happens on the lighthouse with Crystal, happens when Edwin is trying to confess and Charles mistakes it for Monty.

Symptom Antall Fire: Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (It’s the same in Norwegian I guess??)

He did not like it when Edwin kept secrets from him AT ALL. With both Cat King and Monty. He absolutely felt rejected from knowing more about his bestie/being allowed in to help.

Symptom Number Five: Impulsivity (Ran out of funky languages, sorry.)

“Should I grab it? Should I not grab it? I went with grab it?” *Proceeds to smash it on the ground.*

Symptom Number Six: Stimming

When he twirls his bat or juggles the ball.

Symptom Number Seven: Forgetfulness

“Charles. You have a bag that can hold an infinite number of things.”

Symptom Number Eight: Lack of Filter

This man. THIS MAN. “Oh, yeah. I know we’ve known your for, like, an hour or two but Edwin went to capital H Hell btw.” “Oh my god, haha. This song reminds me of that time my dad busted my Walkman lol.” “Mate me and Crystal literally just snogged.”

[daydreaming-en-pointe]

˗ˏˋ street food date ´ˎ˗

(isn’t that just the most creative title :D)

requested by very a lovely person who wishes to remain anonymous <3

Pairing: Pavitr Prabhakar (Spider-Man India) x Fem!Pakistani!Reader

Type: Oneshot - Fluff

Word count: 1.3k

Warnings: terms of endearment, mentions of food & eating, usage of Hindi (translations provided), I don’t speak Urdu so it’s google-translated 😭

A/N: Reader speaks Urdu and Pavi (canonically) speaks Hindi. Since both languages are pretty similar in terms of speaking, at least from what I’ve observed, let’s assume that they can understand each other fairly easily :)

I absolutely LOVED writing this omg it was such a cute request! Sorry it took me so long so do this, I was so busy that I completely forgot abt all my reqs for a while 😅

Btw this was barely proofread so if there are mistakes no there aren’t <3

“Meri jaan, you’re spilling it.”

You turned at the familiar voice, just barely managing to balance a paper plate in your hands with an absurd amount of dahi papadi chaat piled onto it.

“You’re late,” You noted, biting the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from smiling like a lovestruck idiot as Pavitr approached you, flashing that dazzling, slightly crooked grin that had your heart stumbling and falling over your mind trying to make sense of it all. You dropped your gaze to the floor, trying your best to cross your arms without dropping the food on the plate.

“I know. And I’m sorry, I really am. But you know that juggling my… duties and timings are hard,” He dipped his head slightly to make you look at him, brushing a small piece of papdi off your kurta. God, he was so annoying sometimes. His eyes were so soft and irresistible and he knew it.

“Come on, look at me,” He said teasingly, stepping forward slightly and grinning as you glanced up at him, then immediately frowned at your lack of willpower when it came to him. “There she is.”

You felt a smile break through so you set down the paper plate on a nearby ledge, leaning forward to wrap him in a hug and bury your face in his clothes. “Arre, you’re insufferable,” You mumbled, to which he let out a small chuckle and effortlessly picked you up to spin you around despite your little yelp of surprise.

“Oh, yeah, definitely. I’m sure that’s why you came out here on a date with me to have street food, right? Let’s go, meri dhoop. No use of you being all sad right now, naa? Look, there’s even pani puri a few stalls down.”

You almost got whiplash from how fast you turned your head to look, your eyes widening in excitement as all previous thoughts were forgotten. “You should’ve mentioned that earlier!”

Pavitr laughed, the easy chuckle - as cliché as it sounded - practically music to your ears as you grabbed his hand and took off, leading him to the pani puri vendor. “I knew that’d cheer you up.”

One shared paper plate of (admittedly quite messy) pani puri and a whole skewer of seekh kebab later, you leaned against a ledge overlooking the Mumbattan bridge right next to a whole row of new vendors. Pavitr wrapped an arm a little too tightly around your shoulders, nervously measuring the distance you would fall if you tripped.

“Pavi, relax, I won’t fall,” You gave him a reassuring smile, and he breathed out slowly before giving you a slightly strained smile in return. “Yeah, sorry. Spider-Man stuff. Lots of, uh… bad things happen. Usually near large drops.”

Your eyes flicked to his hand, gripping the railing so hard his knuckles were starting to lose circulation. Sensing his discomfort, you moved away from the railing back into the middle of the cobblestones.

“I’m going to braid your hair,” You declared suddenly to ease the tension in the air, examining the smooth waves that framed his face, pushed back slightly with his blue headband. His eyes widened in horror at your statement. “Wait, what? No! I said I was sorry for coming late! I’ll do my absolute best to come on time, I promise!”

“I’m not that rough,” You protested, scrunching your eyebrows as he cupped his warm hands over your cheeks. “Of course not, meri jaan. You’re so gentle, my hair definitely doesn’t feel like it’s being sent to an early grave.”

“Aap drama baghair kisi wajah ke bana rahay hain.” (You are making drama for no reason) You frowned at him and he chuckled softly, shaking his head.

“Kabhi nahin! Mei achcha vajeh se drama karta hoon. …Uff, thik hai, tum mere baalon ko tod sakte hain. Lekin… pehle ise kha leh.” (Never! I do drama for good reasons. ..Okay, fine, you can tear my hair out. But first… eat this.)

He held up a plate of vada pav, his smile growing as your eyes lit up again, the familiar scent bringing back memories of sitting in your grandparents’ house and watching them cook, masala-infused aromas wafting through the kitchen from the large utensils.

“What did I do to deserve you?” You wondered aloud as you started stuffing your face with the nostalgic dish. Your tone was lighthearted and playful, but it had a few traces of the underlying truth. You were so, so lucky to have him, and you knew it.

You could see it every time he dramatically presented you with some knickknack or the other that he picked up along the way, handing it to you with a bashful ‘it made me think of you.’ You could see it every time he adjusted your dupatta, every time you caught him staring at you with round, loving, awestruck eyes as if you were the very centre of the cosmos itself.

And when he smiled at everyone it was usually genuine, sure, but you had a special kind of smile reserved for your eyes alone. One that made the small dimples at the corners of his mouth even more noticeable, one that made him scrunch his nose subconsciously with how wide he was smiling.

The kind of smile he was using right now. And oh, good grief, you were so far gone for him. He was so effortlessly gorgeous it actually hurt - wavy hair swept to one side behind his headband, brown eyes turning gold in the sun, the light dappling his face and flicking tiny spots of shadow onto his skin.

“Tum bohat khobsorat ho,” (You’re so beautiful) You whispered, completely spellbound. Pavitr blinked in surprise, his smile turning slightly shy. “Arrey, tum mujhe bahut zyaada phlait karte ho.” (You flatter me too much)

“No, really!” You insisted, tapping the tip of his nose with your pinky and laughing when he scrunched it instinctively. “You’re very pretty, you know that? Mera khobsorat ladka. Pretty, pretty boy.” (My beautiful boy)

“Aap adhik sundar hai.” (You’re more beautiful) Without warning, he gently grabbed your torso and pulled you into his arms, burying his face in your hair. You looped your arms around to meet behind his shoulder blades, resting your chin in the crook of his neck.

You were scared to move, to disturb the silent peacefulness of it all, but you wanted to tell him something that would hopefully put his worries to rest.

“You know I won’t leave you, right? I won’t be your… what is it, canon event? Whatever that is.”

At the words ‘canon event’, Pavitr flinched as if he had been burned, his eyes wide and searching as he looked at you. “What? Where did that come from? And how-”

“Okay, listen, so it’s kinda my fault,” You began, choosing your words so as to not agitate him any further. “But you know how you said I could read your journal, because basically every embarrassing thing you’ve written is you being lovesick for me?”

“I didn’t think you’d actually do it!” He covered his face with his hands in embarrassment, messing up his hair in the process.

“Anyway, uh… you left it open on your drawer and I maybe kind of accidentally looked through the last entry. But only because I was worried. You’d been acting stressed out the whole day, remember? I’m sorry!”

“I don’t… hmm, actually, that’s pretty sweet that you were worried. I appreciate it.” He lifted his head to meet your eyes, almost smiling before his face crumpled again. “Hang on, what else did you see? Oh, god, did you see the whole page of poems I wrote? No, wait, hear me out! In my defence, I was absolutely whipped for you. I still am, but-”

“Pavi?”

“Yeah?”

“Ai, meri mohabbat. Chup ho jao. Mujhe lagta hai ke yeh dilkash hai,” (My love. Shush. I think it’s adorable) You reassured him, leaning forward to kiss the tip of his nose before moving in to press a soft kiss to his lips, an attempt at putting his worries and ramblings to rest.

That shut him up pretty well.

Please know that I am not Pakistani! I tried my best to write this, but if there is anything I’ve gotten wrong, please let me know and I’ll be happy to change it. <3

Meri jaan - my life

Meri dhoop - My sunshine/my sun

A kurta is a loose, collarless type of shirt worn by people in South Asia. It usually extends up to or just past the knee.

A dupatta is a length of material worn arranged in two folds over the chest and thrown back around the shoulders, typically with a salwar kameez or a kurta, by women from South Asia.

Papdi chaat (or papri chaat) is crispy fried-dough wafers served with typical chaat ingredients such as chickpeas, boiled potatoes, yogurt sauce, and tamarind and coriander chutneys; it may also contain pomegranate seeds. Dahi papdi chaat is the same thing, but more yoghurt is used (dahi means yoghurt/curd).

Pani puri is a popular Indian snack consisting of fried puff-pastry balls filled with spiced mashed potato (the puri), spiced water, and tamarind juice (the pani).

Seekh kebab is a type of kebab made with Indian spices, spiced, minced or ground meat, usually lamb or chicken, formed into cylinders on skewers and grilled.

Tags: @hobiebrownismygod @l0starl @therealloopylupin2099

[callmehere-iwillappear]

rec list (last updated: 10/22/23)

aka 'if you liked [cmh] you might also like [insert other really good fic here]' bc there are So Many amazing fics out there good lird

few things. first off if you see a disaster twins bias no you don't. second i tried to find all the authors' tumblrs but there were some i couldn't - if you know any of the ones i missed let me know!

aaand third, there are just. SO many good fics i ended up splitting things up. this is the rec post for multi chapter fics, here's the one shot rec post

Multichapter Fics

Complete

A Twin Thing (@minumi-chan)

Four times Donatello rejects Leo's notion of them being twins, and the once (and future) time he embraces it.

GOD THE TWINS EVER.... funny in parts but also hurts in the best possible way and thankfully has a happy ending to soothe the pain. i literally love them so much

Because We Could Not Stop For Death (@turtleinsoup)

After Leo dies, Donnie builds an android of his twin. After Leo dies, he comes back. He does. And Donnie will not ever let him go again.

very very very very VERY heavy please mind the warnings but god. god. another take on the 'leo dies in the prison dimension' concept that btw WILL make you cry. like a lot. absolutely incredible study of grief. i am never going to be the same person after reading this

coming right on back for you (@taizi)

Rise!Mikey’s portal in the prison dimension takes Leo a little bit farther than he meant for it to. 12!Mikey finds a familiar-looking stranger.

soooo full disclosure i haven't actually watched 2012 tmnt. that said even without that, this fic rules. incredibly soft and heartwarming. i love them

Corrupted Upgrade (@dandylovesturtles)

His brothers think they don't need him anymore? Well, fine. He doesn't need them either. The old Donatello is gone. He'll build a new one. One that will make them regret they ever threw him aside. Building things is what he's good at, after all.

i can't say too much without spoiling the twist, but oh MAN guys it's real good. come get your donnie hurt/comfort juice rn. also for a hurt/comfort fic it has NO RIGHT being so funny so often

Dimensions Apart & Home Again

"Who said I'm hiding?" Leo scoffs. Normally he wouldn't take such a sharp tone, but he's tired and not in the mood for what he feels to be an interrogation in his own bedroom. "You all know where I am. I live here, remember?" “Yeah, very funny. And you know where we live. But nobody's seen you for two weeks.”

ooohhh post movie hurt/comfort my beloved... leo is isolating and donnie kicks his ass. metaphorically. mostly. meanwhile raph and mikey are also having a certified Bad Time but it's okay they all get comfort by the end

Havoc, Thy Name is Donnie

Donnie accidentally turns himself into a child while experimenting with mystic power. It's cute until Donnie gets his hands on his older self's tech and then it's really uncute and Leo and S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. are having a heart attack.

child donnie is an absolute MENACE and it's INCREDIBLE. terrorizes leo. terrorizes shelldon. terrorizes some random criminals. terrorizes april. terrorizes draxum. all in the course of a single day. 12/10

how to get very good at juggling (@radishhqueen)

The Krang invasion put a couple of things in perspective for April. One of them was how much she wanted her parents to meet the Hamatos. The only difficult part is…getting her parents to meet the Hamatos.

the turtles meet april's parents! it goes... about as well as can be expected. REALLY good april centric post movie fic

little kid with a big death wish (@remedyturtles)

Leo's mind rebelled against the sensation. The heaviness burst into awareness, body, limbs, lungs, blinking. The middle distance he'd apparently been staring in focused. Leo was awake. Leo was aware. Leo was alive. Being alive wasn't something he thought he'd be.

genuinely don't think i could ever recommend this fic enough. mind the warnings as it does get very heavy but. god. idk how to express how much this fic means to me in just a few sentences but like. you'll understand if you read it (also for. an actual summary: post movie recovery fic with a side of extra leo)

Nothing Haunts Us (like the things we don't say)

The boys learn the hard way that truths can hurt. Well, some of them.

truth spellllll you love to see it! lotta post movie angst + some good comfort at the end + bonus the boys actually being emotionally vulnerable and talking about their issues (even if it's not 100% by choice)

Trial and Error (@apatheticrobots)

Leo ends up in the past. This changes some things.

YES the healing (well. eventually).... big fan of the leos' dynamic in this one. also that One Scene (the one with the animatic. if you know you know) gives me goosebumps EVERY time good god

Unfinished business

When one dies leaving something undone, there's a belief, that they do not go gentle into that good night. They linger on until they've finished what they couldn't while alive. And for four turtles, that business is using the Poltergeist movie as inspiration.

bad future ending but make it HILARIOUS. tldr the future turtles haunt the SHIT out of the krang. that's all i'm giving you because that's all you should need. they fucking rick roll them. please

Use Only For Intended Purpose (me!)

That's probably not how mind melds are supposed to work.

sorry for reccing my own fic do you still love me /j BUT FR if you like post movie disaster twins hurt/comfort with a side of dream sharing. i got u

Where in the World is Neon Leon?

Leo practices portalling on his own. This is not a good idea for many, many reasons.

set over the course of the show + the movie! aka leo trying so so hard to be seen as reliable and getting incredibly fucked up over it. also making new friends

write this down on my headstone (it wasn't what i hoped for) (@bottledovercast)

it’s as he drifts listlessly through the cold-as-shit hellscape that leo’s willing to admit, maybe this wasn’t what raph meant. aka: i do not believe for one second that there were No Problems in between getting leo out of the prison dimension and the final scene of the movie.

i genuinely do not know how to do this one justice with words. it's written impeccably and the hurt/comfort is just. chefs kiss. please read it (+ has a sequel now that's also absolutely incredible!)

In progress

At My Worst (@teainthesnow)

Future Leo ends up back in time, stuck in the body of his younger self, who is still conscious but trapped within his mind.

genuinely LOVE this concept like there's a lot of (really good) future leo goes back in time fics but i'm pretty sure this is the only one i've read with them sharing a body? god the dynamic is. SO good. one of my fave future leo + present leo dynamics ever tbh. just. chefs kiss

I May Be Invisible, But I Still Look Good (@dandylovesturtles)

Leo is cursed by a mystic whatever thingy. But don't worry guys, he's totally got this! Getting back into his body? Easy peasy. (He hopes it will be easy peasy.)

will smith poses fellow ghost(ish) leo fic my beloved! ngl this one kinda has a special place in my heart so i May be biased BUT even aside from that it's just. so good. the premise is so interesting and it's written super well and in character and also i would like to give leo a hug PLEASE GOOD GOD

I'm Sorry, Teenage Mutant What Now? (@tangledinink)

When Hamato Yoshi is presented with the chance to return to the surface with his sons and give them a 'normal' life as humans, he takes it. He didn't think that they would forget about that whole turtle thing. But it seems kind of too late to tell them now. Surely they won't find out any other way, right?

human au! ... kind of. actually brooches au but they THINK they're human which is fine until, y'know, it's not. currently in the 'not' part of the fic and it's just going really great for everyone! you love to see it

In Which Donnie and Leo Make Themselves Everyone Else's Problem in an NYC That Isn't Even Their Own

It was a huge mistake on the Kraang's part to kidnap the wrong half of the wrong set of brothers and leave behind two very worried twins. And not just any twins. The disaster twins.

another crossover with 12tmnt which. again i have not seen, but like. this fic is just. REALLY good. it's set pre movie so there's not that trauma, it's literally just the twins fucking the 12 kraang up and living up to their nickname while the 12 turtles (and rise mikey and raph) look on in horror

i think i would prefer the prison dimension (@purplecatghostposts)

Leo gets sent to the Kraang Apocalypse Future that he really didn’t want to think about. Future Leo, Mikey, and Donnie are absolutely baffled by him. Nobody is happy.

you've heard of future leo in the present, now get ready for: present leo in the future! he gets dragged into the apocalypse instead of getting pulled out of the prison dimension back to his brothers and boy he is, understandably, Not Thrilled!

Last Grain of Sand in the Hourglass (@last-hourglass)

The one where the Hamato family is freaking the fuck out, Leo is lost in the Prison Dimension, and a very-time-displaced Leonardo refuses to leave his younger self behind. (Oh, and there may be some mystic hauntings afoot. You know, the usual result of messing with the space-time continuum.)

future leo gets saved while present leo stays in the prison dimension! there's A Lot going on in this one and half of it is BIG spoilers but just. oh my god. this shit is SO well written i am eating it

Mikey's Jam-Packed, Guaranteed to Get Donnie's Memory Back, Friendship Tour!

Donnie wakes up without his memory one day and everyone panics. They're just going to have to jog his memory the old-fashioned way! Through the power of friendship! [And a small (I was wrong. A very large) degree of violence and shenanigans]

donnie gets amnesia and SO SO MANY shenanigans ensue. also a tiny bit of angst but it's fine

Minor Interference (@bambiraptorx)

The turtles accept Draxum's offer to train them. Little does he know that they're only going to use it mess with him.

haha draxum accidental dad moments... well okay not entirely just yet but he's getting there! the turtles are PEAK teenager literally just causing problems on purpose and it's incredible

Mutant Ninja Midlife Crisis (@mutantninjamidlifecrisis)

In the midst of attempting to make peace with his death at the hands of the Krang, Master Leonardo is suddenly yeeted over two decades into the past, courtesy of his little brother.

YEAAHHH another future leo fic! mans gets dropped into the past and IMMEDIATELY kidnapped and brainwashed so things are going great (it's fine he gets better. you know how it is)

odd man out (@threestripeslider)

The one where Future!Leo somehow managed to luck out on a one in a million mere millisecond chance of a freak glitch in the space-time continuum that sends him back into the present, where the Invasion has been successfully driven back. And it looks like it was a one-way ticket travel.

DAD FUTURE LEO MY BELOVED.... he really took one look at these kids and said is anyone else gonna give them a third (3) dad and did not wait for an answer. also big fan of casey's high school adventures LMAO

Power Up

Leo also gets healing hands like his 2k12 counterpart. Sadly, they end up backfiring on him. Who needs to know though?

leo taking 'it's not about me' to the extreme. good god please get this kid some therapy and self worth. the AGONIES

The Lemonade Leak (@turtleinsoup)

The one in which Leo can’t sleep without his swords, because there is a monster in his room, pretending to be Donnie.

oh man. oh MAN. legit one of my fave fics out there. i'm not usually a big thriller person but this one GETS ME + the way the author writes the different perspectives is just. chefs kiss. genuinely has me on the edge of my seat every single update

The Neon Void

Five years. It's been five years. Hamato Leonardo was back. But he was no longer who he once was.

krangified leo! ... sort of. absolutely delicious angst and also i want to rattle leo's brothers. TALK TO EACH OTHER

Three-Sided Coin (@leglessstreetlights)

Highly self-indulgent fic where I put Leo, Future!Leo, and TurtleTot!Leo in the same room until they hug

what the description says! room is a bit of a stretch and present leo is fresh out of the prison dimension So There's That. some really sweet moments in this one though. tiny leo my beloved

this year we lost our dear brother leonardo

The aftermath of the Krang, and of pulling Leo out of the portal. 90% comfort and silly banter.

this is a series not a single wip but i'm saying it counts because i love it a lot. hope this helps <3 yeah what it says on the tin. immediately post movie family hours you love to see it

Times Five

Leo gets struck by a mystic beam that splits him into five parts of himself; literally.

god the TWIST. still losing my mind over it. the whole thing honestly. lotta dealing with leo's complicated emotions about the invasion and himself, really really good tbh

Write Me Well, My Love, Write Me Weird

When stories start popping up on various media outlets of the Turtleman, New York Cities own personal cryptid, most of the world shrugged. To the citizens of New York? fear, excitement, adoration for this odd and lovable creature. Everyone is quick to share stories and memories of their encounters, much to lament of Turtleman's older brother.

leo and donnie get spotted by humans (more than once) and said humans post about it on social media, as humans tend to do. raph is Not Thrilled. angst (and eventual comfort) ensues

[jennyandvastraflint]

It's late, I'm very tired, but I am going to write you the ask anyway because I need you to know you put a new fic idea into my head and somehow it has grown and now what am I going to do? Do I have time for it? No. But it's been a lot of fun writing a snippet on the train today (as you do) and I hope it will stay for a while and maybe develop?

Basically, it's -

"[The cat] already has a name" the Doctor said suddenly. "She's called Siren." "You've named her?" Yaz exclaimed. "Has she told you?" Graham asked. "Mate, she doesn't actually speak 'cat'; she was having you on, earlier" Ryan stage whispered, before blinking and looking over to the Doctor. "You don't, do you?" "She's wearing a name tag" the Doctor explained and really, now that Yaz was examining the cat's collar, there was a tiny silver square reading 'Siren'. "Oh" she said, wondering why the Doctor hadn't used the name yet. Was it as not to get too attached? It had taken her awfully long to enter the discussion on the name, too.

I'm not quite sure how far this will go but there is actual plot already somewhere. It's a bit - difficult though. Because they're all treating the cat like you would treat a cat. Which is different from how you'd treat a human/timelord/whatever, especially when it comes to boundaries. And they don't know she's not a cat of course, because River is there ~undercover~. To them, basically, 13 has 'adopted a stray'.

Anyway, it is still very fun :) (also 90% of it has turned into a zoo tycoon ad but I am blaming that on companion-showdown) I love writing for the fam! It's difficult to juggle so many people in one scene but I love all of them so much 🥰 (but if I do write this whole piece it will probably end up being doctor/yaz/cat!river centric so that's only 3 characters and one is mainly non-verbal)

(This is about that cat named River Song in that post (yesterday?) and you saying it should be River undercover btw. Not sure whether that's been clear until now.)

Do you think Siren is a good name? Sirens sing and live in bodies of water, so I thought she might choose it as a not-too-obvious undercover name. Plus, River would dig the seductress connotations. (It might also have come to my mind because we've been talking about mermaids but anyway)

Alternatively, I was thinking Cleopatra bc we know River has cosplayed as her and it would be cute to call the cat 'Cleo'. It's a very cat-like name, I think.

Or 'Melody'? More angsty but also more obvious and riskier. And the idea is that the Doctor cannot know either she's there. But it also makes a good name for a cat I think.

(also, yeah, I totally haven't finished the lkh rewrite either, I think I told you earlier. But ohhh shiny new fic concept with thasmin and River and a cat 😍😍😍 anyway I am blaming you <3 (for the idea, not the procrastinating - the procrastinating is 100% on me))

God, I hope this is halfway coherent now. I'm not feeling too coherent 😅

Anyway thank you so much for listening <3 I'm very grateful to hear any thoughts! On the name or general thoughts :) Also questions! As I said, there is some plot. Unfinished, but I can see a main direction (and it looks suspiciously like 20k+ words so... not sure I will follow it ever)

First of all, absolutely love that my bullshit inspired you XD

Second, I love the scene you wrote omgggg! The fact the fam didn't notice the nametag and just went to the more outlandish explanation of "13 speaks cat" 😂

I love the name Siren so much!! Like first, it fits with the "River" (body of water) "Song", but it also reminds me of how when River calls for the Doctor, they are always there for her, almost as though drawn to River.

(Shiny new ideas always so appealing, yuppp, it is a thing I know all too well)

I am so excited to read more of this, and am looking forward to the plot that awaits us!

On the point of juggling so many characters, yes, I find that anything above three characters regularly interacting gets a bit crowded. Perhaps you'll still find a way to have Ryan and Graham there and doing little tasks during the fic, like for instance sending them to get food for Siren XD

I am honoured to have enabled this as your writing sounds a delight!! May the writing gods bless you, may your writing be plentiful and motivating!

[mcalhenwrites]

I was lamenting to a friend about how little I had read this year (compared to how much I wanted to). They mentioned that I was doing my best while juggling two jobs - which led to me adding that I work more than that. On top of self-publishing and my receptionist job, I do take art commissions and I sell amigurumi at events (hate that for me). I'm also going to be working at the dog treat bakery when it shows more profit. (Not a matter of "if" but "when" here, and that's likely within the next couple of months.) Then I pointed out that... I have read 90 books this year so far. It is actually 91, and almost half of them are manga/comics while the other half are novels.

A ton of the books I have read come from libraries, which still is good for authors! And it is very good for the libraries to show traffic. :) I have purchased some or been gifted books this year. I decided to take a photo of the ones I know I've gotten this year, though I can't tell you if they're all here. I remember buying two of these as a reward for publishing Geckos. Hahaha. I'm saving for a car, but sometimes it's nice to reward myself with a book every paycheck, if I feel like I can get away with it.

Oh, and I bought Reverie on kindle for $2 bc it was on sale and I had just started my new job, so I thought it would be an acceptable treat at that price. (Ryan La Sala posted about the sale and I was like, "Oh, I liked The Honeys! I should read that!") I'm really sad that I can't do more. When I was whining, I was partially upset bc I had hoped to catch up with reading online as well. I haven't been that great at keeping up with AO3. I have browser bookmarks of things I want to read just stacked up. There are some authors on tumblr I want to catch up with. I can tell you right now that I love Lily Mayne's stuff and wish I could buy the entire Monstrous series in one go instead of every few months or so with no idea when I'll get the next. I'd love to have more manga, esp if it stops getting published! (Too burned by the past on that one, now I fret about how many I probably will never own and aren't at libraries to read.) So yeah, anyway. I do want to be better! But I did move twice (states and then apartments) and acquire a job and do a ton of other things, I'm trying really hard to stay afloat financially. BTW... NOT buying a book every paycheck might save money in the long run, but is still isn't enough to buy a fucking car or a house, and I'd like to better tolerate my life in the 3000 years it would take for me to save for either one of those. And right now, I'm shifting more toward reading library books and avoiding any purchases of books to save a little. I haven't bought a book in... the last month or so? I'll be so happy when I'm finally secure enough to not just buy books from all the authors I love but afford to always preorder (this is very good for authors!) and gift friends books!!! And commission artists for all sorts of things! And buy prints! I'm gonna give all the love I can! (And in the meantime... if anyone wants to buy my books... hahaha... It would go for a car right now, not books, but hey, maybe if I sold 1000 copies of Geckos, I could also splurge on a nice box of books and hold a giveaway.)

[mysticinsightstarot]

hello.

how are you?

may i please have a reading on my future spouse's and i's love story? my initials are SB, if you require them!

thank you. <3

Yeah ofc !♡

Btw I love your profile pic Jennie 📸 💓

Loads of love and blessings 🙌 💖 💕

✨The Love Story of You and Your Future Spouse✨

1. The Initial Meeting: Queen of Pentacles & The Tower OMG! 💥 Your first encounter is going to be one for the books! Imagine someone as grounded and nurturing as the Queen of Pentacles, just minding her business, and then BOOM—along comes The Tower! This meeting is going to shake things up in ways neither of you will see coming. Maybe you're casually sipping coffee, and suddenly—like a bolt of lightning—you lock eyes and everything changes! Expect the unexpected, babe! 💥💫

2. First Impressions: Ace of Cups Cue the heart-eyes! 😍 From the moment you meet, there’s an overflow of emotions—like your souls just click. It’s that pure, fresh, butterflies-in-your-stomach kind of vibe, filled with potential for a deep, loving connection. Aww, so cute! 🥰💖

3. The Attraction: Strength Ooooh, it’s that inner fire that draws you both in! 🔥 You’re both going to admire each other’s resilience and the strength you see in one another. It’s like your hearts recognize that you can weather any storm together. There’s a fierce loyalty and courage that sparks your attraction—an unbreakable bond forming right from the start. 💪💞

4. Early Challenges: The Hermit Uh-oh, early on, one of you might feel the need to retreat and figure things out solo. 🧘‍♀️ It could be that the intensity of the connection makes you or your partner want to hit pause and dive deep into some self-reflection. But don’t worry—this introspection will only strengthen your bond in the long run. 🌙🕯

5. The Deepening Connection: The Emperor As your relationship evolves, it takes on this solid, structured vibe. 🏛 Your connection deepens as you both step into your power, building a strong, stable foundation together. There’s respect, security, and a mutual understanding of each other’s roles in the relationship. It’s giving serious power couple energy! 💼👑

6. First Declaration of Love: 7 of Pentacles & 6 of Pentacles Your first "I love you" comes after a period of nurturing and growth. 🌱 There’s been effort put in—time invested—and you’ll feel that it’s the right moment because things are balanced and fair between you two. It’s like you both realize, “Yes, this is worth it, and we’re both giving and receiving equally.” Awww, talk about mutual love! 💌💖

7. The First Major Milestone: High Priestess, 2 of Pentacles & 2 of Wands The first major milestone is all about intuition and balance. 🌙 You both intuitively know that you’re meant to be, but there’s a bit of juggling—maybe balancing careers, long distance, or deciding on the future. But together, you’ll make a decision that sets the course for your future plans. It’s a significant step that aligns with your shared vision. 🌟🌏

8. Emotional Foundation: Page of Wands & 5 of Swords Your relationship's emotional core is a blend of youthful curiosity and the ability to overcome conflicts. 🕊️ While there may be disagreements or challenges, your connection is rooted in passion and the desire to learn and grow together. The Page of Wands brings a sense of adventure, while the 5 of Swords teaches you both to pick your battles wisely. 🎒⚔️

9. Shared Values: 5 of Cups & 2 of Cups You both value emotional healing and connection. 🌧️💧 Even when things get tough, you both understand the importance of working through disappointments together, finding solace in each other. The 2 of Cups shows that, at your core, you value partnership, love, and unity, turning any past hurts into something beautiful. 🥂💞

10. Spiritual Connection: The Lovers Oh, honey, you two are spiritually meant to be. ✨ The Lovers card confirms that your connection transcends the physical—this is a divine union, blessed by the universe. Your souls are intertwined, destined to walk this path together. It’s like you were made for each other, and your spiritual bond is unbreakable. 💫💑

11. External Challenges: The Chariot & Knight of Pentacles Life’s going to throw some curveballs at you two—there might be obstacles like long distances or career demands—but you both have the determination to keep moving forward. 🏇 The Chariot shows your resilience, while the Knight of Pentacles indicates that slow and steady wins the race. You’re in it for the long haul, no matter what! 🛤️💼

12. Internal Challenges: 8 of Wands, 5 of Pentacles & Wheel of Fortune Inside the relationship, there might be moments of feeling left out or overwhelmed by rapid changes. 🌪️ But don’t fret—the Wheel of Fortune is here to remind you that life’s ups and downs are all part of the journey. Even when things seem tough, trust that everything is unfolding as it should. Keep the faith, and know that brighter days are ahead. 🎢🍀

13. How You Overcome Challenges: Justice Balance, fairness, and honesty are your go-to strategies for overcoming any hurdles. ⚖️ You both value what’s right and just, and that shared sense of ethics will guide you through any rough patches. By treating each other with respect and fairness, you’ll navigate challenges together with grace. 💍💌

14. Future Together: The Magician Your future together is pure magic! ✨ You two have all the tools you need to create the life you desire. With the power of manifestation, you’ll turn dreams into reality. This card is a beautiful sign that your relationship is destined to be full of possibility and success. You’re co-creators of your destiny! 🪄🌟

15. Legacy of Your Love: 8 of Pentacles & The Sun Your love leaves a legacy of hard work, joy, and fulfillment. 🌻 The 8 of Pentacles shows that you’ll build something lasting through dedication, while The Sun radiates happiness and vitality. Together, you’ll create a life filled with warmth and success that others admire. Your love story is one of triumph and bright, sunny days! ☀️🌻

16. Message from the Universe: Knight of Cups, 9 of Wands & 7 of Wands The universe wants you to know that love is a journey of persistence and protection. 🛡️ The Knight of Cups reminds you to keep your heart open and romantic, while the 9 and 7 of Wands encourage you to stand your ground and protect your love. Don’t give up—this love is worth fighting for, and with perseverance, you’ll overcome any challenge. 🥀⚔️

Bottom of the Deck: 8 of Cups The underlying theme is all about growth and moving towards what truly fulfills you. 🌊 At the core of your journey is the courage to leave behind anything that doesn’t serve your highest good, walking towards a love that is deeply satisfying. Trust the journey—you’re heading towards something beautiful. 🌅✨

Your love story is an epic tale of strength, resilience, and deep spiritual connection. With the universe guiding you, there’s no doubt that this journey will be filled with magic, growth, and everlasting love. 💖🌟 What a beautiful path ahead! 🌈

[queen-rainy-love]

Wouldn’t it be funny if there was a talent show, but it’s Cookies you wouldn’t expect to have that kind of talent?  Btw the judges are Pastry, Latte, Gingerbrave, and PV just cause.

Like, Rye and Chili Pepper aerial dancing together. Financier singing opera, and breaking a glass (everyone is crying—it’s beautiful). Crunchy playing a clarinet on a tricycle on a tight rope. Sparkling juggling glass cups, MC’s violin, Herb’s plant he holds, an axe, and Vampire (bat form) as he dodges balls being thrown at him (it’s Gumball throwing it). Princess & Knight are doing archery blindedfolded with Clover on the target, surprisingly calm…and the arrows are on fire. Everyone is shocked and the judges are excited and applauding! The Cookies who participated all bowed and smile.

Interesting. But I think reactions would be funnier. This is going to be fun.

*The scene is set in the Cookie Kingdom where Cookies were gathering around. Red Velvet, Madeleine, Clotted Cream, Lilybell, Royal Margarine, Cream Puff, and Custard III were part of the crowd.*

Red Velvet: I can't believe you brought me here.

Madeleine: Oh come on. You need a break from your...*looks around* little side job. Plus we're here to be supportive.

Clotted Cream: That's correct. Many of our friends and family are here. It's only right that we're here.

Lilybell: Plus, some of us have never really seen a talent show. So it would be an experience.

Royal Margarine: And we can go get some donuts after this.

Red Velvet: ...Fine...

*The show started and to say it was interesting...would be an understatement.*

*Rye and Chili Pepper*

Custard III: Woah! Look at that!

Lilybell: It's beautiful!

Madeleine: Huh. Didn't think Rye and Chili Pepper could get along long enough to do an aerial dance.

Clotted Cream: It is impressive.

Red Velvet: ...Ten coins say one of them drops the other.

Clotted Cream: Velvet!

Royal Margarine: I'll take that bet.

*Financier*

Red Velvet: Would it be wrong to say-

Clotted Cream: Yes.

Royal Margarine: When did she learn to sing opera?

Madeleine: She's Financier. She can do it.

*Crunchy Chip*

Royal Margarine: I won't lie. That is impressive.

Clotted Cream: How did he get that tricycle up there? And how did he keep it on the tightrope?

Red Velvet: Don't know. It's just good to know that there's a bike small enough for him. I just don't know where he learned to play the clarinet.

*Sparkling*

Cream Puff: Wow! That's amazing!

Madeleine: How does he-

Red Velvet: He's a bartender. He's most likely gotten stuff thrown at him before and he's picked up juggling as a show trick. I will give him points tho. I've seen Vampire's flying. He's good.

Lilybell: I would like to see more of that talent.

Madeleine: Not for another three years.

*Princess, Knight, and Clover*

Cream Puff: Look! It's Clover and Knight! Princess too!

Lilybell: They're doing archery!

Custard III: And Clover is putting a jellyberry on his head.

Royal Margarine: Ah! The traditional jellyberry trick. It is usually quite an impressive...um...Why is Princess and Knight putting on blindfolds?

Madeleine:...They wouldn't...

Clotted Cream: They would. And...is that Capsaicin onstage?

Red Velvet: Yeah. What is he...*eyes widen* Is he lighting the freaking arrows?

Madeleine: By the Divine Light, he is.

Red Velvet: ...They're all in trouble.

[ask-hannah-blog]

Honkers hiiiiii!!!! 🤡🤡🤡🤡 It's ya girl Pretzel!!!!! 🥨🥨🥨🥨🥨 Just had the craziest dream the other night! I think I've found my calling!

So, there I was, at a carnival like I used to go to as a kid, just walking around, enjoying myself. Then I started to smell the most wonderful thing: Delicious delicious food! Warm, salty, mouth-watering smells of freshly prepared junk food!

I notice myself drifting off toward it in a daze, literally lifting off the ground like a cartoon character, and when I get there, I realize something. No one is manning the stand!

Oh no! We can't just leave all this food unattended! Luckily, there's an employee uniform on standby for me to take over. I hurriedly put it on, not questioning why the shirt just had a gaping hole where my tits would be, or why my huge weiner was hanging out of my skirt. The shoes were weird too, they were big long sneakers with a hole for my toes to pop out of, so they're just wriggling around waiting for a customer to suck on them. Soon enough a bunch of other guests (they're probably fellow clowns to be!) show up and I start serving food! I'm so good at juggling different orders all at once and making the guests laugh with my antics! Then someone shows up, a bloated thing I only recognized as a fellow clown further along on her transformation, and asks for the "special menu"...

A switch flips in my head and I present myself to her. She starts sucking my dick and I watch her visibly swell from how much I unload into her. A bunch of other clowns start to surround me and get working on my toes and tits. Sucking and licking, sucking and licking. Gosh, I was in heaven! I couldn't stop farting, and to my surprise, I realized that my farts had the exact same smell as that of the food stand.

I woke up with my bed covered in mayo jizz. I tend to sleep naked so there was absolutely nothing to protect my stuff from the onslaught of my shower of cum. If my plushies weren't cum stained before they sure are now. I was too groggy to get myself ready to lick up that much jizz on all my babies so I resolved myself to give them an actual cleaning later on. The thing is, I tend to get thirsty when I wake up, and as I got up to grab a drink, I realized that my tits were audibly sloshing. Weird! I figured,

"Well, I already ate my own cum, why not sample my breasts too?"

To my surprise, it tasted like cola. You'd think the carbonation would be uncomfortable, but no, it feels kind of fizzy and silly! Gives me the giggles heheheh...

So yeah, it was a pretty wacky start to the day for me. I read what you said about my previous messages by the way and if you guys have any advice to get rid of that lady's pictures I'm open!

(I'm also open to some good foot porn suggestions! Hannah hit me up with your faves, I can tell you're a woman of culture. I'd also be very interested in seeing Brittany's tootsies up close, but I understand if you're a little possessive with them!)

Also, love love love love the shirt hahaha! I was laughing so hard when I saw it, I let out a gas bomb of a fart, it smelled like nacho cheese all over the flat! I would totally get one IRL if I could, you're the funniest girl I know!

BTW If you're looking for bigger feet, take it from me, you can get your toes to grow a bit by just really pulling on them when you're sucking them, same thing with your soles! Just give your foot a nice longggg drag of the tongue and it grows for the gag! Saw a clown do it in a video and I've been thinking of trying it out for myself soon! I might record a vid, I dunno. It's the exhibitionist urge giving me ideas.

Lots and lots of love and kisses and hugsssss!!! Love ya lots Hannah!🤡🤗🤗🤗😘💖💖💖💖💖💖💗💗💗💓

Uh oh! Look out! Incoming message from Pretzel! Gotta prepare myself.

*closes door*

*sits down*

*pants off*

*cuts cheese*

*Starts masturbating*

🥨

Oh my god Pretzel you greasy little freak you’re becoming so hot! What an amazing dream.

Normally I would warn people against those circus dreams, but your was just sooooo perfect for you, and those shoes sound hot!

I think what we need to do is set you up a snack stand in front of my office or in my lobby so you can entertain my guests before they get in!

Hehe Hyuk!

Gosh so hot. I’m imagining your big musky wiener turning all red and ruddy, a proper hot dog, hyuck!

And UUUUUUUUUGH you feeding that clown your mayo until she was a flat bloated whale? That’s so perfect for a junk food clown like you! The whole circus is going to be filled with fat lady clowns if they don’t keep you on a leash! Hehe, I’d like to keep your greasy ass on a leash, my little wiener dog…

You may want to consider sleeping with a condom on, or an empty condiment bottle hyuck! If you’re having night emissions. Should make clean up a lot easier.

If you even want to clean up! Having a bunch of crusty stuffies with matted fur seems perfect for you! Give them a smooch for me, or a good fucking, whatever you think I deserve!

And I know I’m not the only one thinking about what a funny clown mommy you’d be! Filling your babies up with soda, making them the gassiest little cuties on the fair grounds! Hyuck if nothing else I want to grab those tatas and shake em up real good until they speeeeew!

As for foot porn? Gosh where to begin. Kink dot com has some great stuff, ever since I woke up in a nylon bodysuit I’ve been really into encasement, mmmmm yummy yummy nylon. Socks, shoes, ughn I just can’t choose I’m a total foot freak, I’ll take it all honk honk! Hehehehyuck!

And it is so great that you’re thinking of filming yourself and posting it! When we first started talking a month ago you were too shy to even leave your room, and had to perform for your stuffies, now you’re thinking of licking your feet in front of the whole internet! So proud of you!

Make you a deal, I’ll send you pics of me swallowing Brittany’s feets if I can get pics of you licking yours!

Toe Clevage better look out, next time that that slut flashes her feet in public she might just get a gallon of mayo dumped on her feet from our small town clown! Our pretzel is going to be a loud and proud exhibitionist!

Can’t wait to hear more of your adventures! I love ya girl! Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re just such a great low class clown. Just a perfect gross little greasy freak for me to add to my stable. ❤️❤️❤️

Oh yeah advice… hyuck!

Um I dunno…

Oh wait!

Keep being gorgeous!

- Ms. Hannah

[jfks-phat-cheeks]

you already know im a simp 😌💅jfk with a fem gamer reader? I enjoy your hcs so muchhh

ye s s s time to bring in the gamer gals >:D thanks for the request hun!!

Jfk With A Gamer Girlfriend

Okay so to be completely honest he doesnt play video games. He really just didnt have the time because he was constantly juggling between sports, school and singing.

So he was never really indoctrinated into the whole gaming world.

And then he meets you.

The first time you asked him to play a game with him he thought you were talking about something else, so he agreed.

Boy was he incorrect.

Next thing he knew he had a controller in hand and was loaded in as player two on an online fighting game

He had gotten the absolute crap beaten out of him on the first round. You smoked him. To be fair he had absolutely no clue what he was doing, he didn’t exactly get the controls so you would have to explain it to him a couple of times.

Then it occurred to you that he has absolutely no experience playing video games.

For the next seven hours you show him the ropes and all the classic games that everyone should know. Minecraft, battlefield, gta, skyrim, fallout, all of them.

To say he was overwhelmed is an understatement.

He realizes that he doesn’t exactly like most of the games, well, he likes them he just doesnt really want to play them. So he opts for watching you play them instead.

But if he had to pick a game if would be a sport game or animal crossing. There is absolutely no in between.

If you are on mic, you can absolutely expect your teammates to hear your boyfriend cheering you on in the background.

“Kick his er-uh digital ass babe!”

And by god if anyone has the audacity to say “well you’re just a girl, you shouldn’t be playing” or is creepy to you or is just a pig to you in general, jfk is absolutely on the dudes ass in an instant defending you.

You honestly would have to take the mic away from him before you get banned for bullying.

His favorite thing to watch you play is Minecraft. He finds it relaxing to just cuddle up with you, snacks and drinks near by. He likes the game because it isnt super stressful.

And if you are one of those intense builders he finds it so freaking cool, he absolutely adores all of your buildings.

He really likes the strawberry cows.

He does brag about you btw. “Oh yeah? Well i er-uh have a girlfriend that games. A er-uh gamer girl girlfriend!”

In the end he loves you, and he loves your games!

[gennabi]

ZUL MY LOVE 🫀🫀🫀🫀💖🥰❤❤💖💖💓💞💖🫀🫀

MY EVERYTHING ♡♡♡♡♡♡

비오는 날에 내 햇빛!!!!!!!

(나는 이것을 위해 번역기를 사용하고 있습니다,나는 그것이 의미가 있기를 바랍니다 LOL 🙃)

How's you day/week been? I MUST KNOW

I can't function properly without knowing how my favourite person IN THE WORLD is doing! Full deeTs pls 🥴❣

(BTW you've been my baby from the beginning so dw 🥸 - It's been so long that i thought you would've noticed we have our matching necklaces on rn :///////// 💔💔💔)

(아직도 당신을 사랑하지만)

- MBA ♡

ANONNNN MY LOVEEEEEE 😭😭😭😭😭😚😚😚😚😚💖💖💖💗💞💞💗💞💗💞💗💞💗💖💗💖💗💞💞💗💞💗💞💖💗💗💗💖💞

sorry i got to this supeerr late :') but let's go babyyyyyy!!! cw super super long lol, sorry i got excited heh

YOUR EVERYTHING???!*@**@??@??& STOPPP;!^$$%# UR MAKING ME BLUSH HFVDBVSVSBS lemme just kiss ur cheeks as a thank you heh <3

어머어머 대박 ㅋㅋ 너 까지 한국어도 썼어요 와... 정말 감사해용 ㅠㅠㅠ 햇빛이??? 그 만큼?? ☹😭😭 눈물이 주루루루 :') 사실은.. 저도.. 너는 진짜진짜진짜 나의 천사 같은 거 같아요 ... 나한테 늘 많은 사랑도 응원도해주고 있어요 그래서.. 저도 더더욱 너 사랑과응원할께요, 나의 천사 헷👻🤗💗💗💗💗💗💖💞💗💖💞💖💞💖💞

아 그리고 이거는 티엠아이는데 한국어 my beloved anon는: "나의 사랑하는 어난"

(걱정마요~~ 너 나에게 무슨 말해주고 싶어서 알아요, 너 잘하고 있어요!! 😚💗)

많이 썼어요 미안해용.. 헤헤헤

OKAY SO come here on the couch and we shall cuddle as cigarettes after sex is playing in the bg.. anyway

days leading up to this week were actually pretty rough :') i had to juggle between house chores, art and taking care of all the house thgs in general (sick cats, sick person, sick me lmao) umm yeah it was horrible. but like it wasn't down to the pit horrible, i just wished that i could have more time to myself yk bcs i was so busy tending after other people 🤕🤕 but!! hehe im finishing off one of those huge load which is my art portfolio that's been bugging me for months :D and in general, both the cats n ppl are getting healthier (one cat didn't return home though :(( n one of my bros got very sick but my parents helped so :) ) so im just starting to feel excited bcs i can start to do the thgs i love again hehe; dancing, binging stranger things!! i even bought 2 samyang lolol n that's pretty big considering i eat it like 6 months once? lmao. oh oh!! and my bday is coming at the end of this month too so im looking forward to that as well 😋😖💖 ummmm i think that's it? hehe <3 i hope u had a good day and week, my beloved anon :)) and also a good week for next week and the next one!! and the next next one anddd ygm wkkwjejd if ur ever feeling down, just know that im draping my blanket around u and accompanying u to sleep 🫂💗💗 or fight people 😁, which ever the situation is

(gasps scandalously /j okay... that's... cute... you're cute... we're cute.. hehehehejej anon what if i smack my head against the wall out of pure happiness 🤨☹😳 also im sorry ive disappointed u my beloved, u can scold me all u want 🤕😞 )

(너 그냥 나 너무 좋아죠?? 😏😚)

[worstloki]

Wait...ATLA AU with Waterbender!Loki, and FireNation!Asgard. Mayhaps the spirits are more relevant in this AU, so people especially blessed by non-main/non-elemental spirits (so anyone other than La, Tui, Agni, uhhh Guain and Shu are the earth kingdom ones I think, and The Autumn Lord or air) can have some manipulation of Qi, but it works differently and is very, very rare, depending on the power level of the spirit, a bending blessing can last 1 generation without renewing it through more bending blood, or like 20 generations but it skips a few. So you can have Non-bender (but actually water bender Loki), or Insert Cannon Spirt that can give him some shape shifting blessed and maybe still Water bender but figures that that out waay later Loki. This ask is a little bit of a mess, but just Water Tribe Loki (who’s stuffed full of ‘water Tribe’s are barbaric’ propaganda) Living in Fire Nation Asgard.

because Loki, like me, simply must be the center of the universe:

- Asgard is the fire nation, obviously, and Odin has 3 kids: the fire-bending lightning-bending prodigy daughter, the spare fire-bender who is good but not as good who will strive to do what his father asks because Father simply must be right (even if he’ll realize later and switch sides), the non-bender who is the dishonorable family disgrace who freaks out and makes a run from home when he realizes he can water bend and neither of his parents can and realizes he was adopted? stolen?? and is maybe the avatar and oh frick Odin’s razing the other nations trying to find the avatar and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

- The “air nation” can be four temples/realms (svartalfheim, alfheim, vanaheim, muspelheim) which were wiped out on by the last Sozin’s comet, so the cycle moved on to the water nation (southern water tribe/jotunheim) (northern water tribe/nifleheim) and there ain’t no way he’s going there those people are barbaric monsters... aren’t they?

- he joins a Midgardian (earth-kingdom) circus road-trip that’s touring across the realms (yes, he juggles) that’s actually just the Avengers and maybe they’re all non-benders? maybe some of them are? None of them are too flashy but Loki’s trying to observe the mix of bending styles and pick up on bending techniques without making it too obvious that he’s not a non-bender

- cue Loki getting in touch with the Earth spirit and getting some neat blessing gifts with bending and now he can Earth bend too and suddenly BAM Thor attacks the circus and Loki water bends to defend his circus friends from his fire and they make eye contact and Loki is so scared/devastated at having to go up against Thor who is angry at Loki for leaving home and has been tasked to retrieve Loki - the water bending throws Thor off and in his confusion Loki freezes him to the ground and apologizes and runs for it.

- now the circus folks are all “um, dude??? the prince of the fire nation just attacked us and you didn’t tell us you could bend?? what’s up with that???” so he tells them he may or may not be Fire Nation Prince Loki and they all feel betrayed because “those colonialist jerks??” but Loki explains how he’s actually a water bender... and may also be an earth bender... and they’re all totally on-board with the avatar returning because it’s about time and the earth kingdom is on thin ice with them (ba sing se is Svartalfheim btw) and yes the reason we’re a mix of benders is because this circus is actually the white lotus the avengers and were touring the realms to low-key try finding the avatar who is supposed to be the saving grace and end of this war please

- now the circus folks are helping Loki meet all the other nation spirits (yes they venture into the terrifying Jotunheim and Nifleheim while searching for the spirit (”what do you mean you don’t know where the spirit is?? how’d you find the last ones??” “I only met one!! and it came to me!!” “well I guess we’re stuck searching everywhere in this frozen wasteland then”) and additionally he only gets to meet the spirit who grants him the bending after he accepts parts of himself and others (for example, the water bending was a result of him finally realizing that he didn’t stand a chance at the throne and it wasn’t until every shred of hope that Odin could one day be proud of him was gone that he was messing with the turtleduck pool and maybe saw the water spirit in the reflection and bent water) (the earth spirit comes to him when he accepts that there are people that will still be proud of him and he can move on with life because the circus folk like him for who he is and were excited when he successfully landed a bunch of throwing knives on targets and decided on that as an act he can do)

- The circus folk are also trying to teach Loki what little they know about bending btw since he’s admitted to copying and mixing their techniques together (he does all the bending in one style and yes it’s as chaotic for the opponent as that sounds because you can never tell what he’s going to bend) but there 100% has to be an episode where he steals the water-scroll  

- Thor chases them down and Loki can bend water now?? and he’s just trying to bring Loki back like Odin asked him too and then one time he catches up to them and Loki panics and bends Earth too and Thor realizes and stops fighting and tells Loki to just go. Thor goes back to the Fire Nation and argues with Odin and calls him out because Loki is the avatar?? he’s from the water tribe?? and he feels betrayed and does the Zuko-Ozai-Black-Sun-Speech-Without-The-Black-Sun about how neither Loki nor Thor need to prove themselves and he won’t tear this family apart any further (Frigga is in fact an absent mother here btw) and then Thor goes and chases Loki down over weeks and saves him (blue mask hero?? except... feathered-helmet hero??) from Fire Nation soldiers who got their hands on him and the circus folk are NOT happy to have him around (air bending comes to Loki when he finally forgives Thor for being an arrogant self-righteous meanie to him for years because Hela is attacking them now and this is so much worse and Thor gets his eye burnt by Hela and Bruce isn’t that good but he can water-bend and heal a bit so it’s not too bad and he takes a moment to breathe and goes for a walk and BAM air spirit) 

- they get attacked a few more times, loki tries getting over the trauma that is realizing the harm that the fire nation has done to all the other realms (and thor is learning this too by the way so when hela attacks you bet they try mentioning the damage and loss of culture the fire nation is resposible for even if she doesn’t care because she’s the heir she needs to be perfect because her two brothers weren’t and look what happened to them they were exiled and live with a blasphemous blend of peasants (and rich-kid-metal-bending-earth-nation-runaway-royalty tony (”WHAT?! SO THAT’S WHERE YOU GET THE MONEY?? I thought you were scamming people not selling cool metal toys and what are we doing that attracts all these royal snobs to us??”))

- Loki has a dream where the fire spirit tells him to keep searching and then one day Hela goes to burn Thor again and Loki just goes ahead and fire bends right back at her and hoo boy his fire isn’t blue but it sure is a lot and Thor does the “........YES!!!” thing and Hela gets stuck in a ring of fire while everyone else laughs and leaves and she can’t lose so watch as her “close friends” end up not being ty lee and mai but the valkyries (the kyoshi warriors are the Red Room Assassins in this AU and no it’s not a childhood torture house it’s just a mostly-women midgardian protection group (maybe Nat trained there so if the circus ever bumps into them she’ll know them? Jane should get to be one of them too even if she’s more into inventing... she and tony should Talk... maybe she and Pepper can beat him up and give him some Respect Women Juice the same way Sokka got his?)) 

- epic chase across the realms since Loki can bend all the elements now he just needs to figure out how the Avatar state works but until then the gaang is struggling to stay ahead of the Valkyries and get Loki trained up to take down Odin (Thor teaches Loki fire bending so that’s covered but no one else except Tony who is a metal-bending expert really learnt properly and Loki isn’t even a metal-bender)

- eventually Hela snaps from all the losses and as she becomes more unhinged Brun jumps sides and Hela kills off (or fires, if we’re staying PG) the rest of the Valkyries and now Brun is super guilty but she’s fighting to avenge them now 

- blah blah blah Sozin’s comet day and Loki goes up against Odin with the help of the Avengers (maybe Thor can take down Hela with the help of Brun and Nat?) etc. etc. 

- so anyways Loki takes Odin’s fire bending and that was the first time he’s entered the Avatar state and when everyone asks how it felt Loki goes “oh i’m not the avatar” 

- “you’re WHAT” “not it” “but you JUST went into the avatar state and everything” “yeah and kyoshi gives good head pats but I’m not it” “but-- you mastered ALL THE ELEMENTS?!” “yeah because I was gifted them by the spirits” “but you needed to renew the cycle after it was gone from the world for so long--” “nah I think the spirits just liked me and wanted me to have it” “they... just... like... you...??” “yeah” “so you actually ARE a non-bender Brother??” “oh yeah definitely I was, but not anymore :)” “so you ARE the avatar” 

- [twenty minutes later] “I just went into the avatar state and they just told me i’m not it” “...this happened while you were in the avatar state though???” *shrugs* “eh” “don’t SHRUG this off is there an actual avatar out there or no???” “maybe the real avatar was the friends we made along the way” “shouldn’t we go find them???” *cue everyone setting out on another grand quest to find the ~actual~ Avatar*

[marvxlousqueen]

Warren Worthington- Flexible

requested: So I guess this could work as either Ben hardy or Warren (but I feel like probably more Ben maybe?) anyways, so imagine you being a contortionist and Ben/Warren comes to one of your shows and sees the way you move, and decides to see how far you can bend in the bedroom if you know what I mean 👀👀 love your blog btw!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

A/N: thanks so much for requesting :) hope you enjoy ! and yes i used a roger gif what abt it

warnings: smut, sub!warren if you squint, cussing 

word count: 1008 lmao

Warren was not excited to be dragged along to the talent show held in the school’s cafeteria. Their school was already small and full of kids with weird talents to how the hell would a talent show be any different than a normal day? No matter how many times he argued this, Peter continued to pester him until he came along. 

“Seriously though, if I went up there and flew it wouldn’t be anything special! I do that EVERYDAY!”

Peter nodded,”Yeah that would be lame. Good thing Charles already thought of that.”

Since Professor Xavier wanted to have more fun student activities, he made sure the talent show would be all mutation free, allowing kids to see their classmates and friends do normal human things for fun. 

Peter and Warren hadn’t entered, but Kurt was planning on juggling and Scott was going to recite pi (like a fuckin nerd). 

The two made their way to the middle of the cafeteria where chairs were set up facing a makeshift stage used for plays and announcements. After grabbing a seat they chatted a bit with other students waiting for the show to start. 

30 minutes later the talent show was still going and Warren was currently feeling intense second hand embarrassment as Kurt dropped the balls he was trying to juggle for what felt like the tenth time. Kurt finally picked them up and gave a bow, walking quickly off stage. Warren tried to give him an encouraging thumbs up as he walked by, but somehow felt it wasn’t convincing. 

After Kurt exited, a girl made her way up to the stage. Her hair was pulled back and her leggings outlined her shape well. Hank, the announcer for the show, gave a brief statement before she began her act. 

“Welcome to the stage- this is (Y/n), a senior this year and today she will be sharing with us her skills as a contortionist.”

Hank gave her a thumbs up and she began. She started out with a back bend, then flipped it into a hand stand and spread her legs above her head, walking a few steps in that position.

Peter whistled, “Damn, I didn’t know (Y/n) could do that!” 

Warren nodded, not taking his eyes off her form. Me neither, he thought to himself. As she continued to move and bend, Warren couldn’t help his eyes wondering over her body. He pictured how she’d be able to move under the sheets in his dorm room. Warren’s face turned red as he realized his pants had tightened.

Fuck you hormones.

(Y/n) finished her routine, ending in a full split, and gave a bow to the clapping crowd. Warren took this as an opportunity to go to the bathroom to relieve himself. On the way, he saw (Y/n) bent over a water fountain, and he felt his pants tighten more. 

Jesus fuck, he thought

She stood up and saw him staring, “Oh hey Warren! Did you like the show?”

He nodded, coughing before giving a real answer. “Yeah, you were- you were great! Didn’t know you could move like that.”

She smiled, “yeah.. comes in handy, you know?”

His throat tightened, she didn’t mean it like that, idiot, he told himself.

“Warren?”

He nodded, not trusting his voice.

“You got a little problem huh?”

His faced burned, “w-what?”

(Y/n) laughed and grabbed his hand, “just come with me.”

She pulled him into the girls bathroom, which was empty since everyone was still watching the show. Opening a stall, she shoved him in and locked the door.

“So, guessing you really enjoyed the show...”

“I mean..yes.”

(Y/n) smiled again, “well I’m glad.”

Warren’s mind went blank as she pulled him into a kiss, hands combing through his hair. She backed him up against the wall of the stall, as his hands moved to her ass. (Y/n) traced a hand down his chest to grab at his bulge.

“Fuck,” Warren mumbled against her lips. “Yo-You think we can speed this up a little bit?”

She pulled away, “not until a I get a taste first.”

(Y/n) dropped to her knees and unbuckled Warren’s jeans as he pulled off his shirt, wings making it a bit difficult. After palming him, she pulled down his boxers and gave special attention to his tip.

Warren groaned at the feeling of her warm mouth wrapped around him and had to resist the urge to push into her. (Y/n) took more of him in, pumping the rest with her hand, gagging slightly as Warren’s hips shuddered. 

“Can we- please-”

She gave one last suck and moved back, lifting her shirt up and tugging her leggings down. 

Warren’s eyes scanned her body, “Holy shit, you’re- fuck”

(Y/n) laughed, “wow thanks, flattered.”

She grabbed his shoulders and flipped their position so that she was against the wall. Warren’s fingers traced down her body as she moved to leave her mark on his neck. He slowly pulled down her underwear and began to tease her, rubbing at her clit. 

(Y/n) rolled her eyes, “I thought you wanted to speed this up, jesus.”

Warren grabbed her leg, holding her behind the knee, “Can you bend for me?”

She extended her leg until it was on top of his shoulder, doing a standing split.

Warren groaned at the view of her spread for him and lined up with her entrance. “Ready?”

She nodded, lips finding Warren’s again as he pushed into her. He gave her time to adjust once he bottomed out. Slowly he pulled back and thrusted into her, speeding up each time. Their moans echoed in the bathroom as he went deeper into her, the angle of her leg giving (Y/n) a whole different pleasure. 

(Y/n) continued moaning into Warren’s ear, legs shaking, until she reached her end. Warren finished soon after, burying his face in her neck trying to catch his breath. (Y/n) pulled her leg off his shoulder.

“I should show you some of my other tricks sometime, hm?”

Warren nodded quickly, pulling her into one last kiss.

taglist: @chocolatealmondmilkshake​ @thoughtlesspace​@chxrrymoons​@babebenhardy​@rexorangecouny​@cyndagoaway​@killcomet​@mcrmarvelloki​@queen-turtle-boiii​@hardlylo​@ziggymay​@onceuponadetectivedemigod​ @ixchel-9275​@queen-baelin @radiob-l-a-hblah​@kurt-nightcrawler​@kellypenac​@disaster-rose​@free-pool-trash​@jinxfirebolt18902​

hmu to be added!

[mcheang]

Queen of pranks

I don’t know why I can’t just write holiday fics near the actual holiday. 😕 I don’t think this counts as a salt fic but it does get revenge on some characters we write salty fics about

After having to be a role model and juggle so many responsibilities, Marinette has been looking forward to April.

Tikki agreed to let her chosen go wild. She needed to let some steam go. In fact, Tikki had a plan to get back at Plagg for Kwami Buster!

Marinette’s first victim: Chat Noir

At midnight, when the month of April had officially begun, Ladybug had given Chat some treats to help him stay awake during school.

Because of his sheltered life and strict, controlled working environment, Adrien is unprepared for the pranks he has to face the next day. (And believe me, people aren’t going to go easy on him just because he’s like a baby chick in a war zone)

Marinette had to hide her head in her hands to muffle her scream when a sheepish Adrien came to school bearing blue teeth, courtesy of a Friend from work.

April Fools was celebrated in France, yes.

In fact Ms Bustier found her office flooded with paper fish made by the whole class

Alix and Kim were the ones leading the war, playing pranks on each other and everybody else all day long.

But Marinette had been Chloe’s victim for too long. She knew how to avoid the traps set by Chloe and Lila, and pretty much everybody else.

Her first target: Lila

1. Hide a fish in her bag. Yeah, that left a very big mess. Plus her stuff all stank of dead fish afterwards.

2. Block access to her locker with a fake brick wall (thank you icarly) and find her locker behind filled with silly string

3. Sabotage her soda to explode in her face

Second target: Sabrina (for sneaking into her home and stealing her diary!)

1. When Sabrina opens her locker, she is covered in an explosion of syrup and feathers

Third target: Alya (some of her blog posts were not at all approved by Ladybug)

1. Alya’s shoe soles were covered in sticky substance that would hopefully make it difficult for her to run after akumas

Fourth target: Ms Bustier

1. She came to class covered in sticky confetti

Fifth target: Adrien?

1. This was really weird but since Marinette now knew Chat’s identity, she could help Tikki prank Plagg. First, Marinette stole Adrien’s outer shirt during morning gym and found the Camembert inside. She switched it for dairy-free cheese.

2. Then she wrote on the white shirt: Sunshine child, and cinnamon roll on his jeans. She then slipped a card to her Chaton and asked him to find and prank her if he can before the day was over and she will agree to a date. Fail, and he can’t pun for a whole week.

When Adrien returns from gym, he accepts the prank with good humor until he finds the card. HOW IS HE SUPPOSED TO FIND LADYBUG IN LESS THAN A DAY?

Meanwhile, Plagg discovers Tikki’s prank and wails that that was completely unnecessary and unfair.

Sixth target: the principal

1. She switched his computer mouse with an actual squeaky mouse

2. Classic bucket of water over the door

Seventh target: Chloe

1. Chloe is an expert on pranks but she doesn’t have a kwami by her side. Tikki phases through her purse and drizzles honey everywhere

2. Tikki hides Plagg’s cheese in Chloe’s backpack. When Chloe complained about the stench, Adrien had to quickly reach into his bag and clamp Plagg’s mouth shut because he wouldn’t stop whimpering at the waste of such a delicacy

3. Tikki glued Chloe’s locker door and all her stuff inside.

As Marinette and Tikki congratulate themselves on a successful day, Adrien tries to prank everybody by starting a food fight and hitting everybody.

As Marinette managed to hit Chloe with stew and Lila’s hair with pie, she also escaped the food fight with a few others.

No surprise, an akuma appears “Jester.”

And yes, Alya was screaming with rage that she couldn’t run fast in her shoes. She eventually gave up and ran in her socks. (Gotta give her credit. Alya doesn’t give up)

As soon as Ladybug casts her cure, Chat kisses her nose. Ladybug freaks out but Chat says her nose looks the same as before. Ladybug checks her reflection in a window and is reassured. She hurried back to school before she will be marked late.

When Marinette returns to class, Alya points out she has a red nose. When asked who did it, Marinette glared at a smug, gleeful Adrien Agreste.

Thank you Color-changing lipstick! Adrien had requested the Gorilla bring him during lunch. You couldn’t just wipe the Gabriel lipstick off, you actually need remover.

When class ends, Adrien waits for Marinette and reminds her what he is owed. Marinette blushes but excitedly accepts his offered arm and lets him lead her to a nice dinner.

The next day, Chloe and Lila ultimately declare their hated for April Fools. Not only were they inconvenienced and humiliated, but that was the day Adrien was lost to them. On April 2, Adrien asked Marinette to be his Girlfriend. She said yes.

Seriously, the class was surprised to find Marinette less nervous in her Boyfriend’s presence and Adrien ditching his Bros to cling to his Girlfriend.

Oh, btw, Kim was crowned prank king. He won for his consideration in including Markov in the prank. The robot couldn’t fly because his rotor blades were tangled in silly string.

[rwbyconversations]

Why Oscar’s writing has been disappointing

Stories rely on their characters. You can tell a grand, sweeping narrative that spans continents and timelines but if you don’t give a rats ass about the people at the center of these events, viewers won’t care. Stories with high kill-counts like Walking Dead, Game of Thrones and Attack on Titan rely on audiences forming an attachment with characters very quickly, so that the possibility of their sudden death is all the more painful for the viewer. Long story short, if you can’t make an audience care about your character, it can be hard to keep them interested. 

RWBY has overall done a fantastic job at getting people to fall for its cast; I’m a case in point with how hard I’ll go to bat for Emerald and Mercury. But be it the obvious choices in the main cast, the wide array of villains to obsess over. The fandom even has a few eccentric folk who stan for people not seen in years! (shoutout to CFVY fans, who knew you’d get rewarded over the whole Coco in Chibi thing by getting a book?) But rather unfortunately, while one character has managed to earn a fanbase happy to see them get content, the writing has consistently failed one particular character, through constant refusals to allow them the screentime they deserve and often putting it in the wrong places when they do get morsels of time to shine each year.

Oh no, not you. I’ll get back to you before this hiatus is out. 

... actually why are his gloves orange of all colors? And what’s with the banages, is he planning on cosplaying Dazai from Bungou Stray Dogs at an Atlas convention during the off-season?

Yeah, no, I’m talking about Oscar Pine. First introduced in Volume 4, Oscar has now been a part of the main cast for half of the show’s runtime. In that time Oscar has developed psychosis, met a ticket-punching man, got stuck in a house for a month, fought a teleporting staircase man, was involved in a train crash, bought new clothes, and stole military property. 

Notice something? Nothing in there mentioned Oscar getting character development. Or rather he does... but it’s always offscreen. Oscar is infuriating in the sense that he has a lot of wasted character potential to be one of the best characters in the show- a simple but efficient design, great voice work from Aaron Dismuke and a charming personality that makes him a likable hero. But in spite of that all, Oscar constantly get the shaft when it comes to his screentime showing him developing from his problems, and each volume so far has had Oscar be faced with a trial that would make for a truly fascinating character arc, only for him to get over it while the camera’s focused elsewhere. And that’s what I’m going to focus on in this essay- I’m going to go over why I think Oscar’s writing has been consistently mishandled, and my hopes for the character in Volume 7. 

God damn I don’t like doing this, I want to like the farm boi most of the time 

1) Volume 4: All these voices running through my head, I’m on fire, face burning red

Oscar is introduced very early in Volume 4- as in, he’s in the first episode and is the eighth character we see onscreen after the villains. Oscar is in fact, if you don’t count Ruby’s character short, present in Volume 4 before the title characters. His first episode is... a lot of nothing, mostly just Oscar doing some farming. Oscar’s introduction does a good job telling us a bit about his character without him saying much- he’s prone to daydreaming while working on the farm, clearly not enjoying himself and his work. It matches up with what we learn later, that Oscar dreams of becoming a hero. It’s a stock motivation, and a stock background, but a simple and effective way of setting up a hero who desires the chance to prove himself in the wider world. His intro scene is a nice, quiet beat between the dark opening of Evernight and Salem, and the more frantic action of RNJR fighting the Geist. But overall the time the fandom was wondering what was up with Oscar- he wasn’t in the OP and nothing had set him up before now and yet here he was, getting focus before the main girls.

It takes until Oscar’s second appearance, three episodes later in Family, that we get the real reason for his importance- Ozpin’s in his head, but it would take another three episodes, in Punished, for this to be elaborated on in an unintentional Christmas gift from Rooster Teeth; Ozpin’s in his head due to their Auras and souls merging thanks to Ozma’s pact with the Archangel Asshole a few centuries back, and now Oscar is starting to act like an Assassin’s Creed character with all the memories that are in his head that he didn’t create. It’s a cruel irony for Oscar- Ozpin plays on how Oscar wants to be more than just a farmhand to try and get him to go to Mistral, but Oscar’s body language and face make it clear that this wasn’t how he saw himself getting some new life choices. Rather tragically, Oscar finally gets the chance to be part of something bigger but the manner in which it’s offered to him is anathema, as it’s coming from a literal voice in his head who claims to be a dead headmaster, and more importantly, he was never offered a choice- this was thrust upon him, a young 14 year old child who never asked for this burden of responsibility. And the last shot of Oscar in this episode already has him cracking under that burden, stuck on his knees and unsure what to do. 

(also btw Oscar’s Aunt tells him to clean his hands but Oscar’s model has gloves on all the time, so... how would he clean his hands? Or does he read books with dirty gloves? Eww)

It’s an interesting place to leave Oscar, at the metaphorical and and spiritual crossroads, and means the viewer wants to see Oscar’s next actions and the deliberation between the easy, boring life he knows or risking everything on a voice in his head telling him to try his chances in the big city. Sounds pretty interesting, right?

Not to the writers, unfortunately. Because when we next check in with Oscar three episodes later during Kuroyuri, Oscar’s already on the road to Mistral with his backpack all ready to go. That deliberation, the consideration, Oscar eventually choosing to trust Ozpin and go along with his plan? All done offscreen. Similarly, Oscar goes from treating Ozpin’s voice as an irritating thing to be annoyed has been chucked out a window- now out on the open road, it doesn’t “feel crazy” anymore. It just feels like such a cheap way to handle Oscar’s writing- rather than show his development naturally, it just fast-forwards until it reaches a point where it skips all that. And unfortunately, this isn’t the first or last time Oscar is victim to the writers fast-forwarding through his development moments. Given how much of Oscar’s arc hinges on this crucial first step, it just seems inane to me that of all of the potential Oscar scenes to cut... him coming around on Ozpin and making the call to leave was what got the cutting room floor. Especially since nothing in his Kuroyuri scene was all that essential for Oscar in contrast, barring setting up the the mystery Hazel and Ozpin’s past.

Oscar doesn’t appear again after his encounter with Hazel until the finale, when during the montage of Ruby’s letter (that consists of half her dialogue this season) we see Oscar on the train to Mistral, which really only caused a problem thanks to all the people who used it to ask why RNJR didn’t take a train. He also appears in the post-credits scene, meeting Qrow at a bar and asking for his cane back, the volume ending on Oscar extending the cane experimentally. 

Being blunt, I feel like Oscar should have been cut from Volume 4 and just introduced in Volume 5 with the bar scene. Volume 4 already had to juggle far too much in RWBY and Cinder’s plots, and adding Oscar to the mix unfortunately meant the screentime for some characters had to suffer- especially Yang. His time this season ultimately goes nowhere and only gives him a basic background that most fans would have already guessed from his character design, and the already wobbly Jenga Tower that was Volume 4′s screentime didn’t need more blocks thrown on top. I like a fair few things in Oscar’s arc, but it’s content that ultimately I’d have been fine having left on the cutting room floor. Hell, if nothing else, Oscar’s first scene should have ended with Ozpin’s reappearance, that these are two separate scenes is mind-boggling and left the fans wondering what the hell was Oscar’s purpose for weeks. 

Oscar’s debut arc has its ups and downs, much like the volume itself. His intro scene and argument with Ozpin are both well-executed and show the viewer the vocal dynamite of Dismuke’s performance or just set up his base character, but for every good thing to come of Oscar’s arc, it’s fraught with issues- most notably, his scene of choosing to leave his home being omitted and beginning the unfortunate tendency for Oscar to get the short end of the stick when it came to development and agency, which undermine his choice to leave. But overall, Oscar built himself a small but dedicated fanbase with his debut volume, even immediately shooting up to become a potential target for Ruby’s affections in the fandom shipping wars. It was a rocky start, but surely now that Oscar was going to have his plot merged with RNJR, he’d be able to handle his screen-time more effectively, right? 

Right? 

Volume 5- Two for one on meatsacks

Volume 5 is Oscar’s worst volume so far, being blunt. It’s a lot of people’s worst volumes though (Cinder, Ruby, Weiss, Mercury, Adam, mine) that at least he can share the load. It doesn’t help that he’s not in half the damn thing because his body is being used by Ozpin to regale the audience with expositon that makes them actively yearn for the sweet embrace of death... or just the return of the World of Remnant shorts. Oscar’s first scene in Volume 5 is just a recycling of the Volume 4 post-credits scene, which raises the question of why the scene was used in Volume 4. I don’t think it’s even touched up, they literally just copy-pasted it. Much like his first scene in Volume 4, his intro scene this volume is intercepted by comedy relief- last time it was Jaune’s miserable attempts at being a strategist, this time it’s Drunkle Qrow.

... You know, this scene ages poorly in hindsight given how just one volume later Qrow’s alcoholism is treated with ice-cold severity. 

Episode 3 follows up on this and gives us Ozcar’s first major scene of the volume, and unfortunately also sets up their dynamic this volume. Oscar gets some awkwardly charming moments with Ruby but overall the scene is dominated by Ozpin taking over for the first time and explaining his reincarnation powers alongside setitng up RNJR’s plot for the season- “training.” An episode later sees the entirety of this training, with Oscar and Ruby engaging in hand-to-hand combat and Oscar getting a lore dump from Ren (in hindsight this is novel not just because they’re outside during it but Ren’s the one delivering the infodump and not Ozpin). Ozpin barely even factors into the episode barring some fisticuffs and a generic speech at the end. But the scene is overall just pointless to the narrative beyond loosely setting up Jaune’s own Semblance unlocking, and this is the last we hear of RNJR “training” for the upcoming trials at Haven. Hell, even though the story makes a point of noting Oscar still hasn’t unlocked his Semblance, that still hasn’t come up two years later. This scene really only pays off in one immediate way:

This is Ruby’s sole contribution to the Battle of Haven after getting KO’d by Emerald outside of just yelling orders for offscreen fights, and all this helped do was begin to convince people that “MERC’S A BAD FIGHTER WITHOUT EMERALD.” 

Lighting the Fire’s training scene is one of Oscar’s only major scenes where he interacts with RNJR to boot for the entirety of Volume 5, and it’s quite sad that nothing really comes of it. It just serves to highlight how little Oscar interacts with the other kids, as most of his dialogue this season is just as Ozcar.

Necessary Sacrifice then, should be great on paper. It’s an entirely Oscar and Ruby scene with Ozpin only chiming in at the end. It has Oscar confronting Ruby and himself on his fears and how Ruby can put up a brace face, and Ruby finally gets to open up a little about losing Penny and Pyrrha at Beacon. But the scene just falls flat on its face and botches the execution. Putting aside Ruby’s own problems in this scene (her speech feels incredibly pre-rehearsed, as if she spent hours practicing it in the mirror to ward off anyone actually prying into her life). Oscar’s anger and fear come out of left field with nothing setting this up in his prior scenes this volume. Ruby needed a scene where she talked about losing Penny and Pyrrha, but it should have been during Volume 4, with Jaune. Having it now with Oscar feels like the writers apologizing for having Ruby get shafted for screenitme during Volume 4... during the volume where she gets shafted by literally everyone else. The scene is frustrating to me, it could and should have been a lot better (musically at least I love the reprises of When It Falls and Lets Just Live), but it just feels like a hasty patch note. Oscar doesn’t really develop from the situation and his fears are just forgotten for the rest of the volume. 

Oscar then proceeds to basically sit out Volume 5 barring Chapters 11 and 12. I still don’t get why he wasn’t part of the dinner scene with RWBJNR, since it would have been so very easy for him to be part of the dinner and get the chance to interact with the rest of the kids. Oscar wants to be a hero, so let him... actually interact with heroes his age. Have him brought up to speed on the crazy adventures the team have, let them get to interact with Oscar without having to deal with his backseat driver. You could even make something tragic of the scene where Oscar is forced to go away so Ozpin can take over, and the team’s faces fall flat when Ozpin gets right to talking shop which leads to the YOU TURNED THEM INTO BIRDS exchange. But otherwise, the rest of the House scenes revolve around Ozpin talking. The kids talk past Oscar, and again, you can very easily make something tragic of that as Oscar could grow to resent Ozpin because none of the others see him as himself, just a puppet on strings. But again... Oscar’s just not allowed to develop onscreen in this show.

And perhaps the worst thing about all this is that whenever Ozpin actually is called out on his tactics, one of the most pressings ones in his possession of Oscar,a  14 year old boy, is never used as fuel. Granted, yes, Ozpin has no control over who’s his next host but surely someone, somewhere is going to opine how morally bankrupt it is that Ozpin essentially conscripted a child not even old enough to get a learner’s permit into his eternal shadow war. It’s times like this that my theory that Jaune was going to be Ozpin’s original replacement before the backlash to Jaundice made them backtrack looks more and more possible. 

The Haven Battle episodes quickly have Ozpin force control away from Oscar, but it’s not like Oscar did much before then anyway other than serve as the conduit for another lore dump on Hazel’s backstory. He doesn’t try and learn why Leo defected and manages to trounce the headmaster so well one wonders how the hell Leo got put in charge of a combat school. After that, Ozpin takes over (and we admittedly get some of the coolest fighting in the actual Battle of Haven in Ozcar vs Hazel) and Oscar only briefly returns in the last seconds of the finale to drop the sequel hook that they need to get the lamp to Atlas.

Volume 5 is just a bad season for Oscar- this is the one time we don’t get his eternal phantom of offscreen character development because it’s not fair to say Oscar has any development in Volume 5. He’s immediately forced to the back to serve as a projector through which Ozpin can put the audience to sleep, most of his actual scenes are irrelevant or just feel like a waste of time and he basically sits out the entire finale. It’s just infuriatingly incompetent writing- we’ve gone from Oscar being a waste of time in Volume 4 to just being a waste of a character in Volume 5 who barely gets to express himself. Little is done with Oscar that could not be achieved by putting a tape recorder beside a lampshade and calling that Ozpin’s new host. Volume 5′s bad for a lot of characters, but at least most of the rest of the cast had good seasons beforehand to show how well they could be handled or written. Oscar didn’t have that, and while ultimately the blame was placed more on Ozpin for hogging the time, Oscar’s critics began to grow and he was derisively seen as just a plot device to let the writers bring Ozpin back and serve as a mission marker for the heroes. One more bad season for Oscar could spell the end to his character ever having a warm reception among the fans and critics. Drastic action would need to be undertaken in order to regain trust in Oscar. 

3) Volume 6- Tossing out the baby with the water

So the big plan to give Oscar some screentime... was basically cut Ozpin out of the story entirely. Oscar is almost entirely himself after the fourth episode, it’s the longest run of episodes with Oscar as himself that we’ve gotten in the show to date and Ozpin doesn’t even surface until the finale. There’s a lovely line of Oscar’s in episode 4 that finally lets him address some of the fears and concerns he should be rightfully worried about- “I’m just going to be another one of his lives, aren’t I?” Oscar’s tone is just so bleak there, it works super well and it was nice to finally see Oscar expressing human emotions. It even my cynical heart hope that Volume 6 would finally see Oscar get the limelight he had been denied for two years running.

But then the ball is just dropped hard. Oscar’s left in a background role for the Brunswick episodes, stuck working on a tire while RWBY encounter the Apathy. What’s already a somewhat rushed resolution to the whole plot of “RWBY express concerns about going onward to Atlas in light of Jinn’s revelations” now leaves Oscar, the guy carrying Ozma’s soul in him, out of the moment. He just gets to be tired and tell Blake to make food if she’s hungry. 

Argus at least alludes to putting Oscar in the driver’s seat for his own solo arc where he explores the city alone after Jaune physically assults him (why didn’t anyone stop Jaune from hurting Oscar two people saying Jaune’s name with all the concern of someone stubbing their toe just feels cheap). Even though I was cold on the episode as a whole, Dead End did set up the wonderful idea of an Oscar episode, one where he maybe forces Ozpin to come out so they can talk frankly for the first time in two volumes. Maybe they could even rip off Avatar (some more) and have Oscar meet Ozma himself, using his conversation with the two as his own chance to rally onwards and decide to bring the fight to Salem.  It could have been a really sweet moment of him backing Ruby up in her desire to keep going, the two forming a mutual bond of bolstering each other’s hopes as they carry the burden for their team. 

But no. Because I can’t have nice things, in an otherwise near-perfect episode where I actually got Mercury and Emerald screentime and the lovely Pyrrha statue scene (which I low-key feel like Oscar should have been a part of but that’s a subject for another day), Oscar just gets over his issues, buys a new outfit and dodges past his problems, getting to develop past them, off-screen, for the third time in a row. 

As far as I care, Oscar stole the money for this costume from either Qrow or Jaune and I don’t care if Miles says to my face he earned the money legit, I’m keeping that headcanon. Also, why are his gloves still orange? They don’t fit the rest of his costume.

If there was anything that got cut from Volume 6′s final half, I’d bet money on it being Oscar’s solo arc. Kerry himself has admitted during the RWBY Rewind for the finale that stuff got cut, and it’s very likely (going off comments from Miles that The Lost Fable was a huge resource drain) that this content was going to be part of the entire episode that was cut (Volume 6 initially had 14 episodes but around Christmastime this was remedied down to 13). It’s actually downright insulting and infuriating that Oscar got the shaft again, especially when Volume 6 finally seemed to be addressing the issue of Oscar never getting growth or focus. He was free of Ozpin, and with Ozma’s history revealed it was the perfect time for him to embrace the past forced upon him and resolve to become a hero. But no, the episode count went down so we had to wave goodbye to Oscar’s agency again. 

Just think of how beneficial it would be for Oscar to actually confront his sorta-not-really ancestor, who may have had to watch as soul after soul gets consumed for him. Has Ozma ever had someone tell him none of this was his fault? I feel he needs it. 

If I was a more suspicious person I’d say it almost feels deliberate, that someone on the writing team doesn’t like Oscar and is purposefully keeping his growth offscreen out of childish spite. But three volumes in a row now, Oscar’s growth has felt artificial and fake, and leaves him feeling like an afterthought. I know it’s not a problem of RWBY not being able to write new characters well, just look at how fleshed out and beloved Maria was after just her debut season. But Oscar just can’t catch a break and it’s frustrating to watch. In a volume that otherwise made huge strides in solving many of the pre-existing issues in Volumes 4 and 5, that 6 still refuses to treat Oscar with anything other than mild apathy is just mind-boggling. 

Like, what was even the point of having Jaune say Ozpin was just pretending to be Oscar? To make Jaune look irrational? To plant the red herring in the viewer’s minds?  The rest of the volume itself shoots the idea down hard, and it feels like it was going to be used during Oscar’s potential cut scene, but again... it was cut. I can only go off what’s in the volume and unfortunately, Oscar in Volume 6 is only marginally better than he was in past Volumes. Bless his heart, Aaron is trying to save this character but the writing itself is dragging Oscar down every chance it can get. 

4) Volume 7- The potential breaking point

Oscar’s character is currently in a make or break spot, and Volume 7 will either finally solve his growth issues or this will be it and his fandom will reach a boiling point. The worst thing is, it’s a very easy solution to fix Oscar.

Just put his character development onscreen. 

That’s it, the golden answer to all of Oscar’s problems is to just stop cutting his development and agency short. Oscar has potential to be the most tragic character in RWBY- someone who wanted to be a hero, only for the responsibilities to be forced on him without his consent. He’s someone who the rest of his companions oftentimes don’t see as a person, just a walking telephone to their boss. Imagine how dehumanizing it would be, especially after Qrow’s “Don’t lie to him, we’re better than that” line? Imagine being someone effectively living on borrowed time because sooner or later, your consciousness will be absorbed what makes you you will be but a distant memory? Oscar could easily be a shining example of character growth, he could easily have a great arc of learning to deal with the burdens of Ozma’s struggle, of being the target of Hazel and Salem’s ire when he did nothing to earn it. But it needs to be soon, or all the potential in the world won’t be able to save Oscar. 

Perhaps Volume 7 will have a flashback to Oscar in Argus having that confrontation with Ozpin and getting his new outfit. Perhaps Ironwood will be mistrusting of Oscar claiming to be Oz, and Oscar will have to step up and prove he is who he says he is. Qrow never apologized to Oscar for punching him, so an apology would serve both Qrow and Oscar’s arcs as Qrow reignites his spark to fight. A potential confrontation with Salem where Oscar may try something the previous Oz lives didn’t could work wonders for Oscar. Volume 7 could still easily have Oscar get spotlight, but with how many plates the season is already planning to spin (Tyrian and Wattts going to Atlas, Cinder and Neo going after Ruby, Weiss dealing with her family, Ruby learning about the Silver Eyes with Maria, a likely return of Faunus racism for Blake and Yang, Atlas class warfare, the token reminder that Pyrrha died so Jaune, Ren and Nora can be sad, etc.) I’m already accepting that Oscar is the most likely candidate to get the boot again. It’s happened before, and I try to avoid being a sucker who falls for the same thing over and over. Definition of insanity and all that. 

5) Conclusion

Oscar is... I hate to say this again, but infuriating to me writing wise. He has so much potential as a character in terms of his growth but despite having had main character status for half the show’s runtime now, it’s hard to really care. Oscar keeps getting the short end of the stick, and if it turns out that the whole reason he got shafted for years was because of M&K’s mystery fetish, I might actually throw a chair out a window.  

What makes it worse is that Oscar is not a character with no hopes of being salvaged! There is a very easy way to remedy the problem and it’s just to let him have his time to shine and develop offscreen. Flashbacks covering the lost events such as his leaving his farm or gaining confidence in Argus (or even giving Oscar a character short specifically to address these issues) might be belated and feel like damage control- let’s be fair, after Adam’s short this wouldn’t be the first time they resorted to doing damage control in their shorts- but it would be a step in the right direction and show the team are committed to working to salvage Oscar. But they want to do it, it has to be now. If Oscar leaves Volume 7 suffering from the same problems, he might as well get killed off in Volume 8 because that will be it for his character, no one will defend him and Oscar will fully become the heroic Cinder in that no matter what, you can rest assured they won’t get onscreen development from anything that happens. In the meantime, all I can do is hope that this time, things will work out for the farm boi. There’s a goldmine of a character here guys, someone’s just gotta put the work into finding the first nugget. 

In short, Oscar can be a great character, if the writing lets him become it onscreen. But until then, it’s going to be a frankly depressing journey to get there.

Thank you for reading. 

[teffyjeffy]

(Most of) JoJo’s Bizzare Adventure: Stardust Crusaders but almost everybody are kids having fun at recess.

Want a random JoJo post out of nowhere? No? Okay well here you go anyway!

A lot of the time when I was watching JJBA I felt like I was watching a very dramatic retelling of what was actually two kids playfighting.

“My guy punches super fast!” “Oh yeah? Well my guy can stop Time!” “Oh yeah?! Well, mine can too! I just discovered it!” “WELL MINE CAN DROP A ROADROLLER ON YOU” “THATS CHEATING”

Anyway, the idea started to snowball, so please enjoy my masterpost of (most of) JJBA Part 3 where the Stardust Crusaders are a group of 9 year old rascals who met up one day during recess. This is just for fun ^_^ also these are all copied and pasted from discord so the structure is a little jumbled. Enjoy!

Oh, and Spoilers are ahead.

“I can punch super fast!”

“Well I can use cameras and TVs as crystal balls, but I need to break them!”

“Mine can shoot flames, ooo ooo and-and I can control them at will!”

“Mine has a sword that can stab anything”

“MINE HAS AN ATTACK THAT IS UNBLOCKABLE AND ITS AREA EFFECT IS THE WHOLE PLAYGROUND-“

“No Kakyoin that’s not how we play. Youre not allowed to have an invincible attack”

Kakyoin’s introduction:

“I have an invincible attack”

“That’s not how it works Kakyoin but you’re cool, so you can keep playing with us”

The insect stand “Tower of Gray” was when the group was bothered by a fly on the school bus and they got a little too rowdy in their attempts to kill it, which pissed off the elderly bus driver. Thus the kids agreed that he was responsible for bringing the fly onto the bus in the first place. They got detention.

Jean Polnareff’s introduction:

“I have a sword that can pierce through anything!”

“Okay Jean, you can play with us, but you have to promise to stop pushing Avdol into the wood chips, he doesn’t like it.”

The stowaway girl is actually a 5 year old girl who wants to play with them and they hate it at first but they eventually warm up to her. The monkey with a ship stand was actually a retelling of the groups trip to the town’s public swimming pool. The boat was just an inflatable tube and the monkey was a chipmunk. And the original boat that blew up? That was the group’s original inflatable tube that got popped because the 5 year old wouldn’t stop gnawing at it

Later, the kids SOMEHOW convinced their parents to let them stay in the same hotel while the parents all hate business trips to go to. They “promised” not to pillow fight, then everyone except for Jean went to go get snacks while Jean went to explore the new room.  Unbeknownst to them, the previous guests of the room accidentally left their daughter’s doll behind. Jean HATES dolls. He accidentally stumbled upon Child’s Play when he was surfing channels way too late at night without his parents knowing. Fear turns into aggression and someone from the hotel staff goes to check on him. He finds Jean and realizes it’s the same kid who shot him with a water gun earlier. Jean is kicked out and the parents have to pick their kids up. Jotaro and everyone else weren’t happy. 

Rubber Soul is actually just that one bratty kid who thinks it’s sooooooooo funny to mimic other people while also making fun of the person they’re mimicking. It makes them feel “powerful.” Jotaro encounters Rubber Soul when the latter is mocking Kakyoin one day, while Jotaro is playing with the 5 year old; he then chases Rubber Soul all around the playground, and when he finally gets him, he busts his teeth in. They were only baby teeth though, they grew right back, which saved Jotaro from a brutal punishment. He was still forced to go without dessert for a month. He didn’t complain though because his mother was dealing with the flu at the time. He would give all his desserts to Kakyoin, which his how Jotaro discovered Kakyoin’s creepy habit of juggling maraschino cherries in his mouth.

J. Geil was somebody who used to play games with Jean’s sister. When she found out he sucked at party cake and teased him for having “Two left hands”, J pushes her into the mud and never plays with her again. Jean has held a grudge ever since.

Hol Horse is Geil’s “New friend” which pisses off Jean. Hol Horse, being a member of the wrong crowd, beats up Avdol and J. Geil just goes along with it. Jean is all “Avdol why are you even here, you had nothing to do with this!” And Kakyoin’s like “Should we call 911?” And Jean responds “Not yet, I need to beat up these guys first!” And Kakyoin calls 911 anyway.

The Mirror stand is just J. Geil going “Made you look” and punching your shoulder.

And Hol Horse’s stand is just a nerf gun. The reason it hurts is because he likes to get right up in your face before firing it. It’s ineffective if you’re too far away from him, because the dart bullet loses momentum and hits the ground harmlessly.

Jean eventually gets back at J. Geil by chasing him into the middle of a group of kids, then pointing up at nothing, shouting “Made you look,” and poking J. Geil in the eyes, which causes him to cry like a baby. And later, Jean is like “Oh yeah, I totally stabbed him with my sword!” when Jotaro asks him what happened.

Then Hol horse runs away because he realized J. Geil was a total loser.

The Empress stand was just Joseph’s retelling of his parents taking him to the doctor’s office so they could deal with a wart on his arm. He hated how boring the actual process was, so he pretended that he bested the wart in a game of wits and tore it asunder. Jotaro was grossed out. 

(Btw in this AU Joseph is only a grade older than Jotaro, instead of being his grandpappy)

Wheel of Fortune is just the result of a very nasty game of tag with a brat who wouldn’t leave the group alone.

Enya is the crazy cat lady at the end of the street whose house the kids were forced to pass one day when they missed the school bus.

Steely Dan is the snobby “Cool Kid” of the playground, and a sore loser when the kids don’t play the way he wants them to. So Jotaro gives him a black eye.

The Sun is a kid who likes to fry ants with a magnifying glass. But Joseph likes bugs, and seeing this made him cry. So Jotaro, Kakyoin and Avdol plot to destroy the magnifying glass, which they thought was really funny. But at that point, the magnifying glass had to be returned to the science lab, so the kid was spared. 

Or, in another interpretation:

“Hey guys, I wanna play! My guy’s power is that he’s literally the sun!!! ” 

Joseph: “Wow, that’s pretty powerful-“ 

J,K,&A: “YOUR POWER IS STUPID, GET LOST”

Death Thirteen was the result of the kids being forced to deal with a baby who was throwing a tantrum while they all waited to get on the giant slide at the County Fair. Kakyoin was especially pissed. 

I have nothing for the Judgement stand.

I don’t have anything for High Priestess either.

And Iggy is still a dog, but I’m getting rid of his tendency to fart because I just HATE IT

N’Doul isn’t blind, he wears glasses and can’t see shit without them. And he has a water pistol. And he hoards the playground’s sandbox.

Oingo and Boingo are a 6 year old and his 1 year old brother and they’re just the cutest little demon spawns.

Anubis is a dog that snatched Jean’s toy sword in its mouth, and the sword’s power to transfer souls was just Jean fearing that the dog had rabies. Jotaro rolled his eyes but convinced Joseph to help him buy a new toy sword to shut Jean up.

Mariah... I dunno man, I didn’t really care for her arc and it definitely doesn’t fit the “kids playground” scenario I’m going for.

ALESSI IS WRITTEN OUT COMPLETELY. HE IS NOT ALLOWED ON THE PLAYGROUND.

The D’Arby brothers are known for being the cheaters of the playground. So Jotaro scares the eldest brother in a game of Go Fish, and it messes D’Arby up so much that it triggers his Asthma and he he has an Asthma attack. 

Pet Shop went down as the day when Iggy had a fight with a seagull and got pecked the ever loving SHIT out of. Jotaro tells the story at every Christmas party.

The younger D’Arby battle happened on a day when he and Jotaro were playing video games together. They accused each other of cheating, which resulted in Jotaro insulting him for liking dolls before pummeling him and consequently getting kicked out of the house. Joseph gave him a high five though, so it was worth it.

Vanilla Ice was the toddler who didn’t bother to move out of the way if you got in his path while he was driving his toy mini jeep. But if you asked Jean or Avdol, they’ll tell you that the toddler deliberately puts people in his path to run them over. And the occasional dog.

And finally, DIO.

DIO was a kid who got transferred to Jotaro’s school after being expelled because the principal of DIO’s previous school couldn’t get him to leave two of the students alone, by the names of Johnathan and Erina. He was pen pals with Johnathan, but that was the only connection DIO bothered to maintain.

Jotaro thought DIO didn’t even deserve the title of “School Bully.” He thought DIO was just a weird freaking kid. Despite that, most of the kids were scared of him, Jotaro’s friends included.

DIO loved to utilize the classic “Time Out!” whenever he played with the kids, and if they didn’t abide to the time out, they got a knuckle sandwich.

Jotaro was the first kid in a long time to just say “Nope.”

That’s when he learned that DIO was a kid who liked to screech like a banshee when things didn’t go his way. As well as throw a whole bunch of pencils (seemingly from out of nowhere) at any person that he upset with.

The road roller in this AU is the closest thing to a lethal heavy weapon that you can get on the playground: a frickin BIKE. 

And DIO is like “TIME OUT SO I CAN SLAM THIS BIKE ON YOU” And Jotaro goes “Nope, your time out is cancelled because you’re a freak and also you tried to bite Joseph which was just gross, anyway-“ and he punched DIO in the leg, pushed him to the ground, and kicked woodchips in his face.

They both got expelled.

A few years later, on his way to middle school, Jotaro bumps into a kid named Josuke...

<============ TO BE CONTINUED

BONUS JJBA BATTLE TENDENCY

The Pillar Men are a reflection of the infamous day when three highschool bullies showed up to the playground. One of them beat a kid named Ceasar in a Rock Paper Scissors match; in responce, Joseph (who at the time was only 4) went apeshit. He kicked the first highschooler off of the carousel at the County Fair. Then he located the second highschooler, tied up his shoelaces, then lit them with a match. Finally, during the school’s annual science fair, he tracked down the third highschooler, who had just finished rigging a student’s baking soda volcano to blow up in his face. Joseph threw a bunch of rocks that he found outside at the highschooler, and then proceeded to lock him up in the school’s astral observatory. The first two highschoolers fled town after that, but rumor has it that the third one is still stuck in the abandoned observatory.