#like Jesus fucking Christ man that shit has fucked me up
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Steddie I Soulmate AU I 2k I Rated Mature I idiot4idiot
The thing about linking with your soulmate, you never knew when it was going to happen. There were horror stories about it happening during weddings to someone else or while performing heart surgery or landing a plane, but linking was so rare, stories like that seemed more like fairy tales than cautionary ones.
If anyone had asked Eddie what he thought about it, he would've said the odds of there being some guy out there destined to be his mate, let alone that he'd have to worry about linking during some critical moment, were astronomically low.
He'd be wrong.
Because his ears are ringing, his vision has tunnelled, and there's an empty vacuum where his usual chaotic thoughts should be. All signs pointing toward-
Hello?
Jesus H. Christ, not now! Not right now, this cannot be happening now. Quick! Think of something else! Uhhh… Golems! Ice golems! Or maybe frost giants. Yeah! Not having hate sex with your arch nemesis. Shit! Stop thinking about it! Frost giants, frost giants, frost giants!
Hate sex? He hears echo around his noggin next. Arch nemesis?
Fuuuuuck. No, darlin’, don't even worry about that stray thought! Nothing to see here. I'm, uh, baking! Yeah. Brownies. For a charity bake sale
A long pause, empty space between them, before he says, I don't believe you. I think you are having sex
Sex?! He screeches. How dare you! I would never!
You would. Go balls deep into a guy you don't even like, sounds like to me. Class act.
Oh god, there’s gotta be a way to salvage this.
No, let me explain, please!
Knock yourself out
Right. So, this guy, I know him from school, right? And he was always kind of a jerk. The space between them pings with a sort of stung feeling but Eddie doesn't understand how any of this works yet so he ignores it. But we end up having a few mutual friends, and this one really weird event happens that forces us to, like, team up, I guess. After all that I'm spending more time around the guy and he's not so bad. Invited me over to smoke up with him, which was cool. I'm gonna be totally honest, I'm not sure how exactly we got here, the sex part, but it’s pretty hot and heavy, kinda aggressive, so… yeah. Hate sex I guess
Soulmate is quiet again. His feelings bleed through anyway, at least Eddie's pretty sure that's what he's getting. It feels like embarrassment and disappointment.
You okay? Did I scare you off?
You don't like the guy at all? You said arch nemesis
Oh. Uh. Well… How did he explain to his future partner, if he hadn't already ruined it, that he likes him plenty, he's just been holding him at arms length, metaphorically, because he assumed the guy was straight? Up until roughly twenty minutes ago. He should probably start with honesty.
No, I like him okay. He's not as bad as I'd always thought. We give each other shit but I'm pretty sure it's just left over bullshit stereotypes from high school. I bully him about his music taste, he bullies me about my shitty van. That type of thing
…Right
He waits to hear back from his soulmate but he's not very talkative. That's okay, Eddie can talk enough for both of them.
So, what were you up to when we linked? Not driving I hope
He can hear the guy sighing over the link, which is worrying.
You'll never believe it, but I'm also having sex at the moment
Seriously? That's hilarious
Yeah. A hoot
Not having fun?
I was. But I recently found out the guy doesn't like me that much. So, yeah, real mood killer
Oh man. That sucks
Oh my god. Yeah, it really does. Kinda wish he'd get off of me so we can get the awkward part over with but he's distracted at the moment
Doing what?! Eddie yells, offended on his behalf.
“He’s busy not realizing he linked to the guy he was hate fucking.”
Huh?
“Eddie, open your fucking eyes.”
That's Steve talking.
He blinks his eyes open to see Steve looking up at him. He's not pleased.
Wait
“Yeah.”
Oh my god
“As impressive as it is that you managed to stay hard through that whole thing, I'd appreciate it if you-” He hisses as Eddie, rudely he realizes, pulls out without warning.
He scrambles to the end of the bed, bunching up the comforter around his junk. “I'm so sorry, fuck, Steve, I'm so sorry. I don't… I didn't…”
He can't fix this, he starts to slowly comprehend. He's made Steve think he hates him.
“Nah, it's cool. I get it.”
I don't hate you, I swear. You have to believe me
“Sure, Eddie.” He's yanking his briefs back on, angry and trying not to show it. “You just don't like me much.” Can't believe I did this again. So fucking stupid
Eddie's certain he's not meant to hear any of that but he responds anyway.
You're not stupid. Please let me explain
“You already did. And I am fucking stupid,” he snaps. “Here I thought we were flirting this whole time and you thought we were bullying each other. That's real fuckin’ stupid of me. I'd convinced myself you actually-” He snaps his teeth shut but Eddie can still hear the unfinished -liked me. “I really wish you would control your feelings, dude. You're broadcasting your horror straight into my head.”
“I don't know how to stop,” he quietly admits.
“Well if you'd ever shown up to health class you'd know how to control it.”
I never thought I would get a soulmate
Steve's surprise at that pings around his brain before he does what Eddie can't and shuts it down.
“I did. I've been thinking about it for years.”
And you ended up with me… And I ruined it before we even got started. I ruined it. Steve Harrington is my soulmate and I ruined it. What the fuck
“You don't have to say it like I'm some kind of prize.” He steps into his jeans and tugs them back up to his hips, not even bothering to do them up. Which is- “I guess it's nice that you think I'm hot. That's something. Maybe we'll be the first casual hookup soulmates.”
He has to fix this. Somehow. Think, god damnit! Wait! That's it! He just has to show Steve what he's thinking!
“I wish you wouldn't.”
“Too bad!” He snaps back.
Okay, as embarrassing as this is about to be, he has to tell the truth.
Eddie was in the 8th grade, Steve in 7th, when they first met. Or, when Eddie first noticed Steve anyway, they never really spoke to each other, their cliques already established by then. But Eddie can remember it like it was yesterday. It was lunch, Eddie was walking by with his bagged PB&J, when he heard it. Steve laughing. It was so joyful, Eddie didn't even know what he was laughing about but it made him smile anyway. Of course one of Steve's shitty jock friends caught him staring and called him a queer freak but that wasn't unusual.
“What the fuck, Eddie? Why do you remember that? And how are you so good at visualizing?”
He ignores the questions to move on to the next memory. Eddie's sophomore year they somehow ended up in the same Shop class. Again, they never spoke but he got to watch Steve work, tongue poking out while he concentrated, the proud look on his face when he whittled some hunk of wood into a recognisable shape.
“I forgot about that. It was a dolphin. I was dating Chelsea Hosteller, they were her favorite animal.”
“Lucky her.”
“Hey, fuck you, man, you're the one showing me this shit! What am I supposed to assume from any of this? You thought I was cute? So what? You clearly don't like who I am as a person, so what difference does it make?”
He's not going to have the patience for every single moment, and they're a lot of them, Eddie realizes that now. So he speed runs through them, making sure to send every bit of feeling through their link.
Steve in his Scoops outfit, luring Eddie to the mall but never making him brave enough to go in. The horror of not knowing whether Steve was alive or dead when he heard about the mall burning down. The joy of finding him at Family Video, somewhere he had reason to visit.
You never even talked to me there
Listening to every word to every story Henderson told him about Steve and his bravery. Pretending to be annoyed so no one noticed he was eating it up. Getting to know the real Steve over Spring Break, the giddiness he couldn't quite tamp down, even as he was scared shitless. The pain of knowing Steve was still in love with Nancy Wheeler, even though it was the obvious narrative to Steve's fairytale life. Of course he gets the girl at the end.
What? Is that why you-
The way he stuck around afterward, even though their dynamic was more antagonistic than friendly, and the way Eddie thrived off of every snarky comment. How it felt like banter even though Eddie knew, by all logic and reason, Steve was merely tolerating his presence. They would always be antithetical to each other, circling but never meeting.
Eddie, no
Steve growling ‘Do you ever shut up!’ before pouncing on him downstairs. The heavy pounding of his heart as he wrestled Steve up the stairs. The way his brain never did catch up to what was happening or why, until it was too late, and he was ruining both the greatest sex he'd ever had and also the chance to prove, though he's still completely unworthy, that he has already been primed and ready to fall for Steve for years. The shame of ruining it. The heartbreak of ruining it. The teeny, tiny spark of hope as Steve stares him down. He has to close his eyes to avoid it, lest he say something stupid and fuck it up again.
You…do like me?
Yeah, Stevie. I like you a whole lot. I just didn't think I was allowed to like you. I didn't realize you liked me too. I'm sorry I said all that shit earlier. I didn't want to tell the guy I'd just linked with that I was thoroughly enjoying the chance to sleep with this guy I'd had a crush on for years. That seemed rude
The bed dips and so does Eddie's stomach. Steve's enormous hands slide up his neck, into his hair, and gently cradle his face as he leans in to kiss Eddie square on the mouth.
Oh. Hi
Hi
This is nice
I think so too. How do you feel about finishing what we started but this time we both know that we like each other?
That sounds awesome. But are you sure? I really, really fucked up the first time
I thought you were perfect up until you called me your arch nemesis
I have been told that sometimes I'm a little dramatic
You know what, that's fair. I really should've taken that as a compliment, if anything
See? Now you get it
What I'm getting is another condom. Hold my ankle so I don't slide off the bed
You got it, baby
Unbelievable. Salvaged the wreckage of his own stupidity and managed to bag the hottest guy in town! Score one for the nerds!
“I heard that.”
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Everyone talking about adopting Palestinian kids needs to read Scott Carney’s The Red Market and a brief definition of genocide outside of the physical destruction of lives.
#ra speaks#personal#adoption#palestine#the red market#it’s been years since I read that book#but the sections about the trafficked kids has always stuck with me#about the family who had their son stolen. who tracked him down in America. who asked the family to see him#not to take him home not to be a part of his life but simply to speak with a now young teenager#and tell him how much they loved him and missed him and were happy he was safe#only for the family to deny them.#like Jesus fucking Christ man that shit has fucked me up#idk maybe it’s just cause my countin died recently#and she was adopted and her graduate psychology work was with adopted kids because she was passionate#about the flaws and dangers of the system she grew up in#but every person who talks about saving the children when they mean taking them away from everything and everyone they’ve ever known#it makes my skin crawl#we should be putting effort into keeping track of families. of finding family friends and connections for these kids.#not throwing them into a new country full of racists who will give them shit for where they were born no matter how American they’re raised
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People who infantilize autistic coded characters are the weakest link in society's chain.
How are you gonna look at this mf
And then tell me he's too uwu to do anything. Open your eyes, expand your brain; he thinks of the MCnasty too. Let him say fuck !!!!
#and even if he doesn't think of the mcnasty because thats also valid he is still a fucking ADULT jesus fucking christ#his trains arent the only thing he can get railed WHO SAID THAT#HE CAN CHOO CHOO IN MANY WAYS#i kinda hate that even after aaaalll this years the same stereotype prevails so bad like even when people do write him in serious things#he still gets infantilized like 'uwu he doesn't know anything too pure too saint' bitch look at me in my gay eyes and tell me he#didn't look at mello's leather covered ass when he went to pick up his photo that's why he didn't turn y'all can't see my vision#anyway rant over because i could do a ted talk about this shit but i won't because i get easily angry at how bad people see my fav character#my damn point is that if u infantilize near then i suggest u to read the manga again my man has fucking HOBBIES but aint a child#peace out🙂↔️✌🏻
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So guess who finally watched JJK
#I went from watching Dungeon Meshi earlier this month to watching JJK and I haven’t watched a shounen in literal years so#I can found dead in a ditch after being beaten bloody and raw holy shit#I like knew it would but dark but like Jesus fucking Christ on a cracker I was not expecting that#I still need to read the manga but like damn I need a moment after that#so far I can say JJK is in fact worth the hype and has consumed my soul#Yuuji Itadori my absolute beloved I love you so much I would die for you with zero hesitation#he’s my favorite character and I only want good things for him so so badly and I also want to torture him#I have a deep love hate relationship with Sukuna that kinda haunts me#Megumi is so funky I like him a lot#an absolute madman pretending to be the straight man in bits and no I will not be taking criticism on this opinion#kugisaki my girl you deserve more screen time please let her shine#nanamin you will also haunt me#I didn’t want to like Gojo I was like I am above simping for him and then I’m putting on the clown make up and THEN#They put him in a box just as I went goddamn it I am down bad for Gojo Satoru like COME ON#Anyway Suguru and his eye bags and depression and deeply rooted issues compelled me#Satosugu brain rot is in fact and real and can hurt me#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#shibuya arc#itadori yuuji#megumi fushiguro#nobara kugisaki#gojo satoru#geto suguru#nanami kento#satosugu#ryomen sukuna
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like why did they change where Vegeta was when Cell announced the cell games in the anime
why did they make this vegeta starting shit with yamcha instead of chillin in the lab with his family? why did they take Bulma out of the lab? Why'd they say she was Out while Dr Brief was repairing 16? Why did they change Bulma working on advanced robotics to running in late with her baby?
it's the same scene except: - Bulma's actively at work being a scientist - Vegeta's not being rude to her (or anyone else!) - Vegeta waits for Trunks instead of leaving the room - Cell interrupted the airwaves, which means Trunks and Vegeta were just hanging out with Bulma and Dr B while they were working
Those are all Great Character Details!! That the anime rails against!!
#these cowards afraid of showing Vegeta actively choosing to be around his wife and child even when he's Bad#Because Goku who is Good never ever even once makes that choice onscreen outside of filler#and then they justify that choice by making Chi-Chi seem horrid and unreasonable for (checks notes) Not Wanting Her Child to Die#anyway I am once again being bitter about anime vs manga klasjdklasd#I can't believe I let the anime convince me I hated Goku man Goku's SUCH a good and ridiculous character in the manga#the anime just SUCKS at letting him be who he's always been#and has to reframe and recontextualize and reword everything he does so that it seems like he's Actually Quite Mature and Thoughtful nO#THAT's VEGETA YOU COWARDS#also the fact that bulma said she wouldn't live with him at the beginning of this arc to him casually hanging out with her and trunks#after cell beat his ass and humbled him is REALLY GOOD SUBTEXT for their shared relationship having improved without showing it#it's great subtext for all three of them and toei just went 'nah' and decided to make it a whole group shot so ...? Master Roshi could sit#and explain how ??? Tournaments Work??? Just so Cell could log on and also explain how tournaments work?? God it's been so long#since I've watched the anime and now when I do it just makes me mad aklsdjskja the manga is SOOOOO much better#there are some spots where the pacing is more ideal in the anime like goku turning ssj for the first time but like man. everything else is.#like why are you making Goku snarky with Vegeta dude his clapbacks are SO much funnier when they're just Tactless Honesty#like Vegeta's not insulted by Snark bitch he grew up in the Freeza force that man was raised by THE bitchiest drag queens#Vegeta's insulted by someone saying something deeply and insultingly True to his face as if it's the fucking weather#Goku in the anime is like 'a battle of wits hoho' but Goku's purity is part of the joke he's not snippy he's just got no social etiquette#He's just honest! He's not trying to be insulting. That's what MAKES it insulting! That's the WHOLE GAG of why Vegeta can't stand him#Goku is always just telling the truth and it's always the rudest shit Vegeta's ever heard in his life#'it's a sunny day! i'm way stronger than you! see you out there bud!' 10000% Genuinely Friendly. Golden Retriever-Ass Pure.#Infuriating. Hilarious.#anyway I looked at anime clips to make sure I remembered things right and that was a mistake#as someone who has a soft spot for it and grew up on it -- compared to the manga it's bad and it's always been bad#and toriyama was right to be disinterested in watching it jesus christ they BUTCHERED his work#anyway this has been another shot of haterade with sketches thank you for scrolling my rambletags askljdask#dbtag#i just truly can't get over how they make Vegeta call her 'woman' in the anime and he literally only ever calls her Bulma in the manga#except for on namek when he refers to her as 'the/that woman' because she is a complete stranger#why is he calling her woman like he's a 1940s american husband and not an extraterrestrial from a deeply advanced society toei
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Office disability culture is so fucked in environmental science and fieldwork. Like the mindset that to do the job you have to be in perfect physical health or you should just quit. Like I'm not talking about something that is 100% physical labor here, everything is mostly achievable with aids and you don't need to be able to do every single thing. But there's this weird like..pride..that my older coworkers have. They work out in the gym and brag about how many reps they did. They tease each other for having medical issues. They don't ask for accommodations because they fear that their legitimacy will be hurt. That it means that they can't do their job anymore. That they won't be TRUSTED to do their jobs anymore. That it will get taken away.
So they FURTHER hurt their bodies by not resting, not taking breaks, not using ergonomic equipment, not using safety equipment. Not drinking enough water. Not using mobility aids when they are so old that it's supposed to be acceptable. They don't use the scooters at the grocery store, they don't use their handicapped placard, they don't use knee pads or compression gloves.
And here I come in, 24 years old, looking perfectly healthy. And I use walking sticks, I sit down a lot, I have my care bag, I have a ton of gadgets for making fieldwork more comfortable, I have boundaries and limits, I wear braces and knee pads and compression gloves. I use my handicapped placard.
They react in one of two ways:
1. How DARE I. I'm so lucky to be young and no one sees THEM having to do all those things (literally nothing is stopping them but pride). Like old man if you need a break take a fucking break. I'm not going to hurt my health to make you feel better about hurting yours. I'm not risking a flare up to spare the 65 year olds feelings. Im gonna take my break and use my equipment cause my boss doesn't care as long as the work gets done. I'm tired of glares from 100 year olds making themselves struggle across the parking lot when they could also be using the fucking scooter. (I never take the last scooter, there's always another available. Also it's not my fault if walmart only provides 2 scooters for the whole store).
2. It shows them its okay. Its okay to need aids. When I first showed up at my job it was very...macho..everyone was afraid of seeming old (theres probably only 3 of us under 30 in the whole department, most people are at least 50, mainly 65 year olds). Then they saw me using my walking sticks, taking my medicine openly, bringing a chair with me when working away from my desk, using my TENS unit. I overheard one lady ask her granddaughter what fibromyalgia was (apparently she had spotted my pain tracking journal).
My older coworker with a bad knee got a walking stick like mine and beamed when she showed me. The grandmother uses a cane and a walker interchangeably and more often. I get asked where I get my little portable fan and pocket heaters and special clothing. Even abled coworkers are doing it. My coworker who's younger than me sets alarms to take breaks now just like I do. People seem more comfortable using things that help them now.
My boss has really struggled. He has a lot of internalized ableism and hates thinking of himself as crippled. He spent his whole life physically active and strong and all these health issues and overexertion are catching up with him. Like he did environmental testing in areas with fucking radon. He did work where they threw asbestos around like snow for fun. He's done a ton of really hard physical work. He grew up with the mentality that pain was just something everyone has to push through. But I think seeing a young person make the choice not to push through is helping him a bit. He wants to make his own walking stick, he goes to the doctor more. We bond over having constant medical issues and I even gave him the name of my surgeon. Yea he still says stuff like "shoot me if I have to use a wheelchair" (not as much anymore since he now knows I use one) but he's getting there.
Yeah so I've had this in my drafts for a bit and I wanted to update that my boss has been walking around with a fucking broken ankle for the past couple of weeks. He thought it was just arthritis pain and eventually couldn't take it anymore and went to the foot doctor. The doctor has no clue how the fuck he's been walking on it. Now he has to wear the boot and he's banned from fieldwork while he heals.
Older people and the elderly need to learn that it's okay to not push through the pain and ask for help. Everyone needs to learn this, and not be like my fucking boss. Go to the doctor, get that sore joint checked out. Get those tests done. Use that aid. Stop walking on a broken ankle just because you can.
#chronic disability#chronic pain#spoonie#disability#from the field#wrenfea.exe#literally fucking flabbergasted#he walked in after leaving for a bit to go to his appointment and came back like so yeah my ankles been broken#BUDDY#everyone needs help sometimes you dont deserve to be in pain#like thats some catholic guilt shit im pretty sure#this man has had 4 major back surgeries so i guess a broken ankle is nothing compared to that#but still...jesus fucking christ#not sprained..BROKEN#and thats along with all the rest of the pain hes in#like i get being used to pain but if i stub my toe during a flare up I can't handle it because it pushes my pain level over the edge#so it actually makes me less tolerable since im already in pain#but im used to a higher pain level than abled people are#ok im done rambling for now im gonna go play Minecraft
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So I was reading articles about John Hurt (as I do when I procrastinate on life in general lol) and I saw a still shot of a movie I’ve never seen still shots of before; so I looked it up. It’s a play. I was worried I wouldn’t find it in full online; but I did, so here it is in all its glory:
youtube
He’s just… ugh I want to gently hold his face in my hands he’s just so sad and lonely with his weepy voice and eye bags. I couldn’t process half of what he said but I think this is a warning about always speed-running through life to get to the next good thing. We should appreciate the moment; because in the end, we’ll have nothing at all but our memories. If we rush through life, we won’t have any memories to keep us warm at night when the chill of death creeps up on us in our old age.
Also, spool, spooooooooooollll…….
spoooooooooooooooooooooolllllll [cackles in mentally unstable]
@kaleidoscopr @theindo @possessedbydevils @randomtwospirit
#The fucking banana. I was talking to him through the screen like#“…a banana??? You keep bananas in…. there? You good man? A—are you okay?#What the hell are y—” [cracks up but quickly stops laughing] “Oh— oh honey… you’re not right are you?#No you’re not right. Uh…. Why don’t you sit down; your breathing sounds awful. You sound like you’re gonna die…#OH GOD [loses my shit laughing/cringing ] “Oh— oh ouch. No no no— I’m not laughing at you I just— I like your actor…#a lot… too much probably#and he’s just good at what he does and the timing of it all… this is exactly how I act when I’m home alone#I swear I’m not laughing at you… I just— PUT THAT BANANA BACK YOU’RE GOING TO KILL YOURSELF”#John Hurt#stage acting#Krapp’s Last Tape (2001)#Samuel Beckett#Yeah… funky stage play. Very moving and dreamlike#[This is me gently holding Mr. Krapp and rotating him in my mind like a bowl of ramen in a microwave]#Screaming crying throwing up beating the walls#I am unwell#Ough ough ough#It’s not difficult for me to watch per se#but I’m very much the kind of person who HAS to help when someone’s having a hard time doing something#— especially if they’re old or otherwise infirm — or I’ll feel like a piece of shit for weeks… and this fucking man#this fucking man is so good at being frail and pitiful that I feel genuinely agitated that I can’t reach into the screen and help him#It’s like the torture scene in 1984 all over again where he just barely manages to wrench himself upright on the table#then immediately falls off onto the concrete floor with the most tragic sickening bone-grinding splat you’ve ever heard#AND HAS TO HOIST HIMSELF UP ONTO HIS FEET ALL BY HIMSELF WHEN HE’S MALNOURISHED AND EXHAUSTED#Like ughhhhhh let me pick him up and wrap him in a blanket and carry him somewhere warm and safe and make him an omelette#And I know I write whump and I shouldn’t be this sensitive#but JESUS FUCKING CHRIST MR. HURT YOU ARE KILLING ME#Youtube
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Them doing a photo lineup of the mugis for the battle and when it's Robin's turn she just turns and does a blue eyed stare at the camera 😭😭
Look at her 😭😭
#i have a question about the heart pirates.... they just look like doctor's assistants... they dont even have weapons and for all we've seen#the only one who maybe can fight is the big guy and he's new... and bepo is the navigator and draws shit maps... how does the crew work.....#well all minks can fight but idk if bepo was trained in zou.... so....#why is sanji's little dance now moving his ass side to side akdhaksk#oh finally!!! shachi and penguin are swordmen and bepo kicks!! we really haven't seen much of them... idr if they did much in sabaody#honestly if law just took his friends for the ride and took care of everything else.... respect#the animation..... JESUS CHRIST!!!!!#there really was no need to bound man now but alas it looks cool#denjiro ITS TIME!!! YEAAAAAAHHH#the wig..... dramatic reveal....#kinemons plan being misunderstood and working becausw of it ajdhajshsj#and what boats did they destroy??? lmaoo??#luffys fit kinda falls apart on his orange jorts... purple and orange okay but red too??? mmm.....maybe red and purple dont match either....#kinemom saying he might die bc he has used up all his life's good luck HAJAHAAJAJ#okay lets finish that last boat but can someone get momo.... please.....#LAW!!! SHAMBLES!!!! GET MOMO!! its so funny how they complain about him not drawing like shit anymore ajdhaks#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 980#sanji can fly come on now....#come on now sanji..... dont let a theatre adult win... well nvm what is that... lmao sanji just taking hits instead of taking nami inside#also the fact that tokis fruit is around now.... who has that power.... or did it go.back in time to appear in her original time???#the orchestral strings version of the first opening as momo flies away..... damn#OMG JINBEEEEE!!!! HE DESTROYS THE SHIP! SERVES CUNT! AND ANNOUNCES HE IS JOINING THE CREW!!! FUCK YEAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!#luffy is so happy akdhsksj ME TOO!!!! FINALLY!!!!!#episode 979#<- fucked up.again#luffy loves jinbe so much i really love their relationship!!!!! that's his father now. shanks who
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Today's been a long day huh
#iskall situation#this shit stings man#it stings so bad#i never brought it up on this blog i dont think but I was a massive iskall girlie#i fucking loved this guy he'd brought me so much joy and positivity and i looked up to him so fucking much#idk if its parasocial to say I also dont really care I feel like my trust has been so violated#my best of wishes for the victims. fuck man#might delete this later. its been a long ass day#idk how to get across how much i looked up to this man. his positive attitude was such an inspiration to me bro FUCKK me im gonna be sick#ive been watching him for like. a third of my life man this sucks so fucking baddddd jesus christ#props to the hermits for how they handled this it was such a mature way of going about it ig#imma try to sleep. im feeling kinda sick bc of this
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Uuuugh this lady at ceramic that brought her son in and is like "oh well i brought him there to teach him boundaries" and MOTHERFUCKER YOU COULD HAVE DONE IT IN THE TWENTY YEARS YOU HAVE RAISED HIM. DO NOT DROP THE RESPONSABILITY ON ME (who is also autistic) AND THE HEAD CERAMIST JUST BECAUSE YOU SEE "OH WOMEN"
#like for fucks sake. i am younger than him. i should NOT be his babysitter#he is also like. p high functioning. he just has no boundaries and is annoying as fuck and asks inappropriate questions and acts#pretentious in the 'oh i am the only Lived Man here' way and he fucking keeps touching me and my shit#EVEN THOUGH I TOLD HIM SEVERAL TIMES TO. STOP. TOUCHING. ME.#'but why do you have something against me' well yeah but thats a direct consequence of breaking my pretty reasonable boundary#OF NOT WANTING STRANGERS TO TOUCH ME. jesus fucking christ#and all of this because his mother probably went 'eheh he is autistic boys will be boys let him be 🥰'#and only now realized how much of a fuckup that thinking is. but nooo she cant fix her shit herself she has to#pull other people in. ffs she also wants to sign him up to my scout group because#'well you know each other (we have known each other for five hours)'#also all this deliberate saying that she did that for him because well. again. he is p high functioning. she just#breathes down his neck and shelters him as fuck#god i wanna bang my head against a wall ceramic lessons were supposed to be a way to unwind myself not get angrier
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ghezikjfjekzjkezn i cannot fucking WAIT to move out
#my mom went in my room while i was gone AGAIN#and she threw out stuff AGAIN#it wasnt even the guest room i squat in. i wasnt even gone 24 hours. it was MY room the one nobody else ever has to interact with.#she threw out the carboard boxes i wanted to keep to see if i could craft smth with them#and i knowwww i have a hoarding problem but man. it was a couple of packs of cereals. it was nothing.#i want to throw out everything i've ever fucking owned i want to live in an EMPTY APPARTEMENT i want to own nothing but a mattress#im going to try to talk to her reasonably about it#and like. i feel like a monster because theoretically it's lovely and in credibly nice of her to clean my room#but i did not fucking ask!! holy shit i think i'm old enough to have some fucking responsability over how my room is#it was rank but it's MY room it's out of the way nobody else ever HAS to go in#and i understand i understand yes age is a factor but also as long as i live w my parents (or anybody else) ill have to compromise some#but holy shit!! what if it's filthy? let me live in my filth until i learn to clean it up properly#you could at least fucking ASK. or WARN me. or i dont know. mind your fucking business.#jesus christ im starting to remember why i dont ask for help#broadcasting my misery#vent
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FUCK YOUR FATHER FUCK YOUR FATHER FUVK YOUR FATHWR FU--
#final one tonight (and the one i was looking for when i found the other one i was initially looking for)#(in my. fucking. folder.)#this has to be book 1??? i'm certain it is (shot taken revisiting prev books)#still like. this is so fuvked up. like. it's been so long and so it's easy to forget (esp w gustav being canonically dead now)#but like. imagine having a parent who refuses to fucking talk to you in your own fucking house#just cause they disagree w a choice you made.#and like as i say that i know for some people they don't have to imagine. severely fucked up and i'm so sorry.#UGH..... IT'S JUST...... SO UNFATHOMABLY CRUEL.#oh but he's just strict. a stern father figure. dude shut up i'm gonna throw up LMFAOOOOO#also not to be queer about it but oh my god. holy shit. oh my fucking god. jesus fucking christ. FUCK#there are many reasons alfonse fire emblem makes me insane and unwell and this js one of them#to me he's like. def queer but not in a way where it's visible. heavily influenced/defined by his agab and how he was raised due to it.#he has Just Enough things going for him to make it so he has done Everything Right.#and yet. that does not free him from SO many horrors. in a way he's punished for it. but it's all he's ever known.#it's normal. he's normal. everything is normal. this is just how it's supposed to be.#i'm going to chew on his arm. gnaw at his fuvking shoulders. have him sit on my lap and be held.#for once in his fuckinh life.#what thw fuck ever man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EXPLODE ‼️‼️‼️💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥#fe alfonse
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Why the fuck is he like that (beyond lovingly)
#talkingcore#went bonkers over this for a solid minute the art of good lineweight really got to me#JESUS CHRIST WHO THE FUCK DOWN MY HALL IS HAMMERING SHIT PLEASE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ARE YOU ILL IN THE HEAD#apparently it was someone knocking. I hope their hands hurt. that is absurd these walls are so thin there is no need#ANYWAY one thing about hirano is he can fuck up some line weight#pip’s so silly he’s got the like pooka shells on his ID what a guy I hope he never gets the hiccups again#he’s goofy but also like man. he’s just a good guy like the respect he has for others around him Especially seras awwwwww#the whole thing of him talking about not liking London but liking the people?? ACGHGHH he’s warm!! he’s kind!!! 🛬❤️💥❤️❤️💥🔥🔥🔥💥🔥💥💥💥🔥🧍♂️
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My eczema is actually driving me out of my mind I swear to fucking god
#i have had this recurring patch of dyshidrotic eczema on my right middle finger for 6 months now (i searched around to find the exact#duration lol)#i looked on the subreddit and my situation is nowhere near as severe as a lot of people’s so i feel very lucky due to that#like there’s people whose entire hands are covered in it and i just have a patch of it on my middle finger#plus a few recurring patches of more ‘average’ eczema/dermatitis#my left pinky knuckle; the space between my left middle and ring finger; the inside of my right wrist; and the outer side of my right hand#are the recurring spots but i don’t get bumps there. just reddened; itchy and cracked skin#the bumps are just on my right middle finger but they drive me CRAZY#i can’t knit or write with a pen while the bumps are there because i’ll burst them and if that happens i Really won’t be able to knit#because it hurts too much#i’m trying to make christmas gifts and the whole side of my middle finger is just a bunch of tiny cuts#i’m so sick of it!!!! it doesn’t seem to respond to my normal steroid cream (betnovate) or my hand lotion (gloves in a bottle)#it has to have been sparked by an allergy but i can’t for the life of me figure out what it is. i first noticed this happening#when i started cooking from scratch a lot earlier this year. i blamed my wooden spoon for rubbing up against the side of my middle finger#but switching to a silicone spoon hasn’t helped. i only started using nail products in like august-september and this had been going on#for months by then. i mean i literally only quit being a lifelong nail biter in late july#i feel like going to the doctor is the only way i’ll get this fixed but i feel embarrassed because it’s SUCH a mild case#like i could absolutely just chuck a band aid on it and get all my christmas gift knitting done. but jesus CHRIST man#maybe i’ll see if i can get hydrocortisone via boots online. it might respond to a different steroid maybe#i have very little faith in antihistamines because this shit was if anything worse during the summer when i was taking fexofenadine#but i might take nytol anyway because fuck this#personal#ETA because i know someone is going to suggest that my pen/needle/spoon grip is stupid and i should adjust it to prevent this:#i have SUCH bad dyspraxia it’s not even funny. learning new motor skills or a new muscle memory takes me such an unbelievably long time#i’d rather put up with the eczema than spend like a year relearning how to knit#the spoon i will try to hold in a more encompassing hand grip and i’ve been trying to avoid handwriting for a long time but needles….. no
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Diabetic Steve who is at a Dairy Queen with Robin after he went with her to an all girl punk band that’s she’s been wanting to see for years. Steve had been feeling weird all day but he didn’t want to bail at the last second because he knew that Robin would just cancel everything to take care of Steve.
(Steve would do the same for her).
Steve plops down into a booth while Robin goes to order them food. He pulls out his pod and winces when he sees his glucose level.
64 and going down. Not a good sign.
Just to be sure he pricks his finger and holy shit, he’s actually at 43. It’s at that moment, when Steve is wiping his finger with the alcohol wipe, that his phone decides to loudly beep to alert him that, “hey you’re crashing pretty hard and fast— take care of it soon!!”
Steve is rifling through his bag while Robin is already trying to rush their orders.
“Shit,” Steve mumbles to himself. “I’m out of fucking juice.”
His hands start to shake and Robin begins to freak out. Steve is always so in control of his diabetes, she’s never seen him like this. So, Robin does what any other person would do and grabs the largest blizzard she has ever seen on the online orders tray and runs over to her best friend.
“Here! Have this, I’m going to try to get you some apple juice!”
Steve just nods his head and slowly spoons some of it into his mouth.
“This tastes like shit, by the way.”
“You’re welcome, dingus. Now shut up and eat.”
The worker behind the counter comes over and starts talking to Robin after she sits in front of Steve. Steve can’t really make anything out right now since he’s trying to focus on making his hands work. But, he thinks he hears the mention of calling 911 and an ambulance.
Time passes a little slower after that. Steve somehow manages to get down enough of the ice cream that he is slowly rising again.
57 after he pricked. Thank god.
It’s at that moment that Eddie Munson, lead singer of Corroded Coffin, walks in. He went to his best friend’s, Chrissy’s, show and needed a pick-me-up after helping her lug all of her equipment back into their vehicle.
He goes over to the online orders tray and it’s empty. He doesn’t really mind waiting. He walks over to the counter and sees that the worker is extremely frantic as she sorts some shit out.
“Hey,” he starts, his fingers tapping the fake granite counter top. “Just checking, I’m here to pick up an order for Edmundo and it’s not on the tray. Do you know when it will be ready?” He flashes an awkward smile and the worker just points to the table behind him.
“We’re working on it. Your nightmare of a blizzard was needed for something else. Give us five minutes.”
Eddie nods and slowly turned around, where he sees the most gorgeous man eating his blizzard. Reluctantly, he might add. The man has on a light pink t-shirt and brown corduroy pants, thick lensed glasses sliding down his nose. The woman across from him was clad in funky colors and had a dirty blonde bob. She was talking extremely fast and gesturing with her hands a bunch.
Chrissy would love her.
He walked over and tapped the man on the shoulder.
“How’s my blizzard?”
He slowly looks up and Eddie is met with honey brown eyes and beauty marks for days. A straight nose and an angular jawline. Jesus Christ.
The woman looks like she’s about to say something, but the guy beats her to it. “It tastes like if a unicorn threw up in my mouth, but it prevented me from passing out. So… thanks.” He smiles. “I’m Steve.”
Eddie needs to become Steve’s husband immediately.
“And I’m in love.” He pauses and then sees the look of glee on Steve’s face. “EDDIE. My name is Eddie.”
“It’s nice to meet you Eddie. Are you free tomorrow?”
#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#stranger things#diabetic steve harrington#Eddie Munson is Hispanic in my head#meet cute#kind of meet ugly tho#depends how you look at it#robin buckley#I need more fics where steve has diabetes#type 1 diabetes#strawb writes
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Silly little thing inspired by this post
From the moment Logan came home he was acting strange—handsy, far more than usual, a glint in his eyes you’ve never seen before. Really, how could you deny your own curiosity when you felt him against your back, bulge pressing against your backside as his hands wormed their way up your shirt.
“Been waiting for you all day,” he mumbles against your skin, pinching your nipples between his two fingers, sliding his thickening cock against your ass. “Miss me sweetheart? Because I sure as hell missed you.”
In the time it takes for you to nod your head he’s already ripped your shirt open, your gasp of surprise soon overshadowed by the moan that leaves you when his hand moves to rub against your pussy over your jeans. His voice in your ear is sin itself, the sound of it enough to have you weak in the knees.
“Let’s go upstairs darling, wanna show you just how much I missed you.”
Like hell he needed to tell you twice.
Logan’s got you on your knees within minutes, large palms gripping your hips with certainty, the movement of his hips against your backside leaving you starry-eyed—You don’t know what came over him, but you do know that whatever it is, you love it.
Rough, predatory even, he folds himself against your body, grunting with each thrust as his cock batters into you, sweat lining your skin as you try your best to keep up with each movement of his hips. Even so, you can’t help how badly your body burns with exhaustion. An arm wraps around your stomach, pulling you toward his chest, keeping you steady as he fucks up into you like a man possessed.
You’re on cloud nine, floating above your own body, so beside yourself with pleasure that you give yourself fully to Logan, letting him fuck your weakened body like a toy. Your vocabulary becomes limited to cries of his name, your fingers splayed against his thighs, his voice growling into your neck.
“Good girl, stay just like that, lemme make you feel good,” he says, lapping at your open mouth. “Lemme think for you, just focus on how good it feels, yeah? Stay with me doll.”
Your head lolls to the side, a sloppy attempt at a kiss before you separate with a whine. The mounting pressure has your fingers moving towards the base of his cock, surprise gripping you when you feel how it swells beneath your fingers.
That’s certainly new.
Logan’s none the wiser, if anything the presence of your fingers only spurs him further into your warm cunt, drooling at the sudden overstimulation. “Holy shit—keep your hand right there, Jesus Christ—“
Somehow his hips move even faster, battering his swollen cock even further into your poor, abused pussy, desperate to fit himself as far as he can inside you. Your warnings fall on deaf ears, even as you beg him to listen Logan’s far more interested in stuffing you nice and full to give a shit. “Fuck, fuck, Logan—“
“Shh, fuck—“ His fingers against your clit silence your protests, your legs shaky as he continues to fuck into you. “Just be quiet f’me, that’s it—oh god—“
He keeps you nice and pliant in his arms, too cock-drunk and brainless to care about the fact that the pressure inside your pussy is growing, or care about the fact that Logan’s practically drooling against your neck, biting, licking, sucking at any exposed skin his teeth can reach. “Feel so good, so fucking good—“
You cry out his name when you cum, your juices running down your thighs and soaking his cock as he continues to fuck into you, pinning you by your arms even further into the bedsheets. Back arched, face down, ass up—his weight against your back makes you seize, your breath caught in your chest when you suddenly feel something growing larger inside of you.
It’s soon followed by the familiar warmth of him spilling inside of you, so much more than you’re used to. His cum fills you up, so much so that you feel it slipping free from where his cock is plugged inside of you, his hips still moving even if his cock is firmly locked inside of you.
It takes you far longer than you care to admit to gather yourself, your fingers reaching down to touch where his cock swells, your hips tentatively shaking only to find that it doesn’t move from you an inch. The action has him pulling you back into him, his hot breath fanning against your cheek.
“Don’t move, please,” he begs, desperation laced in his voice. “Too fuckin’ sensitive, fuck—“
“Logan,” you whine, trying to pull yourself away again. “Can’t move, you’re heavy—“
He grunts in response, slowly turning the both of you on your side, his large arms hugging you still as he’s locked inside your pussy. It’s now you can look down and see just how fat the base of him is, lodged so far inside of you that it makes your stomach bulge just that bit more.
Your whisper is that of morbid curiosity and a bit of awe, fingers tracing where your stomach protrudes with the weight of him. “Logan, what the fuck?”
“What?” He mumbles half-heartedly, and you have to grab his hand and show him exactly what you’re talking about, his head lifting to see his swollen dick disappearing in your cunt.
“What the fuck…” he whispers back, equally in awe of…whatever the hell this is.
“Is that normal?” You ask, and he shakes his head.
“No it is not,” he says, hissing when he gives an experimental thrust. “Feels fuckin’ good though.”
#robo writes#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett smut#wolverine#wolverine x reader#wolverine smut#got bit with the abo bug today :3
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