#like I'm guilty of serious meta but like you know what

[kennyomegasweave]

Clyde's Thoughts On The Only Friends Mains After Episode 8:

This is entirely on vibes cause I miss when we were all just so excited to have Messy Gays: The Series.

Boston: Him drinking alone at the bar while sadly looking at pictures of him and Nick? Hilarious from a self proclaimed man with no feelings or attachments. Basically going "fuck it, why not?" when he realized Cheum's baby brother wants to smash? You can't blame a hoe for doing what hoes do. He very clearly doesn't want Top's dick anymore, making all his earlier actions even more insane because he was an entire circus trying to get a repeat performance, finally got it, got called a pathetic mistake the next day, and just said alright and moved on. Did he dress up like Tyler Durden, Peter Quill, or just a hot dude wearing a red leather jacket? The world may never know.

Nick: He really did bug Boston's car and just sat on that audio listening to it for his own humiliation and/or degradation and/or cuck kink. At no point did he have a plan for that audio except for his own personal use to cause a smad boner. Him and Boston really deserve each other cause they both make insanely stupid decisions for no reason except boyish whimsy (fucking your friend's man, outright antagonizing every single one of your friends and then being like “fine I’m a pariah”, illegal voyeurism, wanting your not man man to not hate you but telling his ex friend and new found enemy about where to find illegal filmed revenge porn of him). His new boss 100% wants to explore his body and he has no idea. I predict struggles in his future because of that when all he deserves are snuggles. And make no mistake, he deserves snuggles despite being a weird little voyeur. Is it illegal for a boy to have INTERESTS and HOBBIES? I didn't think so.

Sand: GET ON UP OUT OF THOSE TRENCHES BROTHER. As I've said for eight straight episodes, Jesus be some self esteem for Sand. Because GET OFF YOUR KNEES GIRL RISE UP OFF THAT GROUND. But bless him, he did try more in episode 8 than he's tried the previous seven. I'm not even upset that's only trying cause he thinks Ray loves Mew and he's sad about that and not because he thinks Ray sucks even a little bit. So I award him 50 points for finally telling Ray to fuck off, but still deduct 100 for almost getting himself arrested trying to save Ray from his own stupid self centered actions. I want him to lay on his bed and listen to New Rules on repeat until he internalizes it, lives, and breathes it. Because you know he's only calling cause he's drunk and alone. Sadly, he's a textbook "behind every bad bitch is an ain't shit man dragging her down while she’s Ariel screaming DADDY I LOVE HIM." He and Nick making a bestie pinky promise that they're both done with those flop boys, but then both still being at the party, tells us all they've both already lost. We’ve all been there and you hate to see it.

Top: I am standing before you all today as a noted Top Hater since episode one to tell you I really did mostly hate this young man solely cause he dresses like a 48 year old uncle. I'm a weak shallow individual and I've never claimed to be otherwise. But baby he put those polos AWAY in episode 8 and looked hella good. Him in that Top Gun flight suit? I am looking disrespectfully, carnally, and like a whore. I see why Boston was desperate to bounce on that dick again, I see why Mew's just dissociating with booze and coke. I see the vision. Call me Rapunzel because at last I see the light.

Mew: It's sad watching him be utterly devastated over Top and his polos because he got played, in a way, by a 22 year old wearing polo shirts buttoned up to the top and tucked into dress pants. I know that stings, because how could it not. But he's a drunken woo girl and I’ll always go up for any and all characters that get white girl wasted. I appreciate how much he just doesn't see it for his bestie Ray in any romantic or sexual way at all. I also appreciate how he's just not cut out for the slut life. There's nothing wrong with slutting it up, I was a prolific slut in my heyday, but there's also nothing wrong with not being cut out for it either. He needs to stop getting blackout drunk and doing lines and just meet Top's mom to tell her her son sucks.

Ray: He’s on my shit list right now and I make zero apologies. But he has beautiful big cow eyes. I just really need to see him fucking wrecked because Khao is, imo, by far the best actor on this show where I don't think anyone is bad. And as previously mentioned, I am a weak shallow individual and if you give me a cute short king with how now brown cow eyes crying at rock bottom? Well I'm gonna cuddle him to my bosom. So I have nothing good to say right now, but I hope to cuddle him to my bosom in episode 11. 

I forgot how much fun this show is. I was too connected to tumblr, but now I'm letting the mess flow through me and I'm living. Thank you and god bless.

[dannyphantom-zero]

Doctor Danny Chapter 8

Vlad managed to squeak out of the situation with a cash fine and Lex Luther was supposed to be under surveillance. Despite being "victims", experimenting or holding a citizen, albeit a meta, was still illegal.

Danny however was currently with the justice league. They had brought him to a hospital but there wasn't much they could do for him there after discovering Danny had strange abnormalities with his DNA and heartbeat.

Jason sat by Danny's unconscious body while everyone tried to figure out what to do with the situation.

"Why didn't you tell me your boyfriend was a meta human Jason?!" Bruce demanded.

Jason looked shocked at first which quickly turns to anger.

"Are you kidding me?! First of all, when did we have such a close relationship? Because lately we could only manage a small conversation. Secondly I didn't know myself" Jason bit back the anger billowing inside him.

"He's got unknown powers and now Lex Luther knows about him" Superman said with a serious tone.

"who was that other guy?" The flash asked.

"Vladimir Masters, billionaire former mayor of Amity Park" Bruce said.

Jason didn't look at any of them, his guilty gaze fell on Danny.

"He's, how can we even tell if he's going to be alright?" Jason said.

The room fell into silence.

"Have faith Jason, that's all you can do"

Jason clentched his fist.

"I don't think so, I'm going to find another way" Jason stood up.

He locked eyes with Superman, "dont let him out of your sight. He's a prestigious doctor. He's important-"

Jason walked out, "he's important, to me"

Superman sat in the vacant chair and tried his best to use his own powers to figure out Danny's condition. There wasn't much medical data on Danny to begin with so they weren't sure what we considered normal for him. More than once superman had been sure Danny's heart had stopped, yet he was still alive somehow.

Bruce had conflicted feelings about the good doctor. Jason trusted him, then again Jason was a murdering crime lord out for revenge.

He knew Jason and Doctor Daniel had a special relationship, after all, one doesn't usually cripple people for just a friend.

Joker had yet to recover.

Back in the bat cave Jason was taking full advantage of the access to the oicie records. It was harder than he thought it would be to get information on Danny because he wasn't born in Gotham but he eventually found a lead.

According to the hospital records paired with surveillance cameras outside the city, courtesy of Tim, Jason found that Danny had come from Illinois.

There was also that girl, Sam was it? Did she know his secret? She had to know something right?

Tim glanced over at Jason's screen.

"Oh that's the lead of that startup band Twisted Vines." Tim commented.

Jason's head snapped towards Tim so fast he almost counted it as a jump scare.

"Do you know where they'll be playing next?!"

Tim pulled out his phone.

"They have an app, let's see...seems like their doing a gig at Croscee's Pub tonight"

Jason stood up.

"I'm going to that and your coming with me"

Tim was grinning from ear to ear. So cool!

Later that night Jason and Tim in civilian outfits made their way to the bar. The band had already started playing judging by the muffled music pounding through the wall.

Jason opened the door and maneuvered through the crowd of people before resting in a corner.

Tim on the other hand has made his way to he front and was avidly cheering the band on.

Jason was growing slightly pissed off. Danny was counting on him and the best he could do was watch this stupid concert.

The music eventually ended and the crowd of people tried to swarm the band but security held them at bay.

Jason had other means, he snuck into their bus.

The band members were obviously shocked to see a stranger sitting in their tour bus.

"Jason??" Sam asked. They relaxed, if Sam knew this person than it was probably alright.

"What are you doing here?"

Jason stood up.

"It's Danny, we need your help. Danny's not waking up"

Sam motioned for then to go outside.

"He was attacked by Vlad Masters and Lex Luther"

Sam clentched her teeth, "Vlad"

When she noticed the look on Jason's face she explained, "Vlad wanted to get with Danny's mom and kill his dad. He also cloned Danny several times. One time he was successful."

Jason could feel the pits bubble up in his chest.

"I need to see him. That's the only way I can tell you"

"I brought a car"

Sam nodded, "give me a minute" she said before climbing back onto the bus.

Tim ran up to Jason, "did you talk to her yet? What did she say?" He asked.

"Alright, I'm good to go" she said slinging a couple of her bags over her shoulder.

Tim's mouth went wide open.

"So cool" he whispered.

The car ride there Jason went into more detail.

Bruce was a little surprised that the answers Jason had went to find were in the formation of some rock punk.

Sam was admiring the space when she caught sight of Danny. She dropped her bags and ran over.

"How long has it been?"

"A couple days."

"Do you know what they injected him with? What about the state he was in when you found him?"

"He was injected with a drug that I don't recognize in the system or otherwise" Bruce said handing her the tablet.

Sams expression darkened, "blood blossoms, fucking bastards"

"He was extremely agitated but Jason managed to calm him down just before he fainted"

Sam handed back the tablet.

"Blood Blossoms are extremely harmful to gh- to people like Danny"

"No matter what I need everyone in this room to swear an oath not to say anything about Danny's condition. I know someone who can help him but I need you all to ask as little questions as possible"

"Where do you have to go?"

"Illinois"

"Take the jet" Bruce said. Jason nodded.

"And here, this is the contact of a friend who can give you a log of Danny's normal condition and what to do if he takes a turn for the worst."

It was Tuckers contact. Jason and Sam left and Bruce got on the contact.

Tucker had become a software engineer for AmerTek Industries in Metropolis.

Flash said he would pick him up and left before anyone could object.

Tucker had been finishing up a report on a new robot the company was in the planning stages of creating, next thing Tucker knew he was in the arms of somebody going at incredibly fast speeds to somewhere.

"Oh" is all he said when they filled him in.

"Sams already on it huh" he sisd with a nervous smile.

"She always so on top of things"

"She told us we could find his medical information with you"

Tucker blinked, "oh yeah! We had to create an updated version. After the accident Danny couldn't get checked by normal doctors anymore. Thank ancients his parents were so oblivious-" Tucker stopped talking when he saw their faces.

"Did Sam not tell you about that? Maybe I've said too much. In any case if there's something you don't understand, let me know"

He handed over the digital file on Danny.

Not even two seconds later Bruce was grilling Tucker on what ectoplasm was and what machine caused this to happen.

There was also a detailed report on what devices the Fenton's had made and how they interacted with Danny.

"What's this page?" Tim asked scrolling onto the page filled with a list of all the ghosts Danny had fought and their abilities.

"I,uhm, well I don't think I should-"

Tucker shrank under Batmans judgmental stare.

"Sams going to skin me alive for this but, I suppose I should tell you everything"

The heroes listened, stunned at the words coming out of Tuckers mouth.

Not only had they not known about the mad "ghost hunting" scientists. They also had known about the portal to the infinite realms.

They were even more shocked when he told them Danny had been crowned king.

"He was a teenage superhero and we were his support team"

Tucker smiled, "nows he's still saving lives. Danny really is something else"

Bruce had went to eh next room to brood over his failure to see all of this whole Supes glumly accepted the fact that he couldn't have done anything without knowing.

"You guys don't need to be so down about it. Any transmissions Danny tried to get to you guys was most definitely being blocked by Vlad and his fancy equipment"

Clark shook his head.

"So Vlad and Danny have history" Flash said.

"Yeah, deep history. In fact. Vlad shares Danny's condition. They're both liminals"

Tucker scowled, "he's literally a villain. Danny's been dealing with this guy for years."

"I can't imagine being a fourteen year old hero"

A glum look passed over Tuckers face.

"We, haven't talked in a while. But I should've tried. I knew he was going through something rough. It was hard for him. Didn't help that he was bullied either. Danny too nice for his own good"

"For now, all we can do is monitor his condition. Have faith in your friend"

Tucker nodded. Danny would wake up. He was sure of it.

[ggomos-maribat]

Soul-Stitching: The Heir and the Guardian

Masterlist

Chapter 3: to remember and forget | AO3

CW: Panic attack, mentions of childhood trauma, mentions of death

If Marinette can put it in simple words, the Justice League's prison doesn't look like a prison at all.  

The neatly-done bed, a queen size perhaps, leans against a large headboard. There's a desk positioned at one corner with a rolling chair tucked into it; at the center sits a sofa set on top of a comfy rug. In the other corner, a narrow door leads to the bathroom. The room is well lit, the palette is quite friendly, and the golden accents speak of lavishness. 

She barely caught onto what the Justice League discussed with the Parisian Government, but suddenly she found herself escorted into the Watchtower. Into space. If he had not already known where she was taken, Adrien would've freaked out.  

Speaking of Adrien, her biggest inconvenience is her lack of direct communication with the others. She trusts that her second-in-command will take care of things while she's gone but if they do get into non-guardian-permitted trips, it's not her problem if they incur more expenses.  

She looks down on the special handcuffs they put on her. Apparently, they are supposed to suppress powers, whether of the meta kind or the magical kind, but as soon as the metal hits her skin, she realizes that the cuffs don't do anything to her. Next, she stares up at the two heroes ordered to escort her. They stare back at her.  

“Um . . .” The shorter one breaks silence, rubbing the back of his head, “You're not actually a bad person, are you?”  

Marinette blinks. “What do you mean?”  

“Are you actually Hawkmoth?”  

“What difference does that make?” She asks. “If I say no, will you let me go?”  

“I—um, no we can't but why didn't you insist that you're innocent?” The masked man asks, “With the right evidence you could've won, but you weren't saying anything. How do you not care about being imprisoned?”  

“I'm not the only one falsely convicted because of the flawed justice system, you know,” says Marinette with practiced nonchalance. “The judge said I'm guilty, so I'm guilty. Nothing I can do about that.”  

“But this is a serious crime. Terrorizing Paris? Causing widespread trauma?” This time, the taller leather jacket-clad one interjects.  

“How is this any different from the situation of the ones wrongfully accused? Does that mean I deserve freedom and they don't?” She tips her head towards the room. “Ironic, how you're imprisoning me, a supposed ‘world threat’, in a luxurious room. If you ask the people in Paris, they'd probably tell you I deserve a death penalty, so this is actually a light punishment.”  

The two seem to have difficulty replying to her words, until the shorter one sighs and tells her, “Still, keep in mind that you still have a chance. The members of the JL are still half-and-half about what to do with you. Some of them want to keep you here under close watch while you're serving your sentence. The others are pretty convinced you didn't do anything—they're having a pretty heated debate right now.”  

“What do you guys think?”  

“I dunno, really. You're weird,” says the tall one.  

“Cool. I'll take that as a compliment.” 

“As a detective, I'm taught to consider every clue first before I act,” says the other. “For now, I still can't say for sure.” 

“Okay, that's reasonable.” She gives a flitting smile. “Thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt.”  

She can tell they're feeling awkward based on their expressions and stances. She holds out a cuffed hand. “I'm Marinette, by the way. Nice meeting you both.”  

Marinette nearly laughs at their astonishment. She's aware she's unexpectedly direct even though she's the criminal. The brightly-dressed man steps forward to shake her hand first. “I'm Superboy.”  

And the other tentatively follows: “Nightwing.”  

“Superboy. Nightwing.” She nods, finally stepping into the wide threshold of her room and activating the automatic barrier. “I like you both. Before you go, can I ask when I can eat?”  

The two share a look before Nightwing replies. “Your meals will be delivered at set times. There's some kind of chute over there.” 

“Thanks. See you around?”  

---

Marinette easily falls into a rhythmic routine inside her ‘prison cell’. Though the bed is beyond comfortable, and the meals are filling, she finds that she has nothing to quell her boredom. So instead of walking around aimlessly, she decides to make use of the space to exercise. The other heroes don't seem bothered by this; in fact, in the first two days, rarely anyone stopped by her room. Later on, she wonders if she can request a sketchbook or two.  

Finally, on the third day, she's taken out of her cell, bound into handcuffs again, and brought to what looks like an interrogation room. There is only one occupant—Superman—but the glass panel on one of the walls tells her otherwise.  

She looks up and down at the hero, who gives a polite smile and motions for her to sit. 

“I think you're already aware of the situation you're in?” Superman asks.  

Marinette nods. If unfair treatment and injustice is her current situation then, yes, she is very well aware of that.  

“I know there are things you cannot simply say in court.” His face is grim. “I was there the whole time. But you can tell me, and we'll see what we can do for you. It's safe here.”  

Her eyes stray towards the glass panel, wordlessly saying, ‘Is this what you call safe?’  

“Fine,” Superman sighs, “But can you at least elaborate on why you can't tell us. Is this a binding secret? Will you be harmed if you divulge anything or are there drastic consequences for it?”  

“I'd say a little bit of all three.”  

“Is there anything that will make you talk?”  

She shakes her head. “By keeping silent on the matter, I'm not lying, but I'm not giving the full truth either. I can't tell you because this is what I think is the best course of action to protect you and many other people.”  

“What do you mean?” he presses.  

“You know about what happened to Paris, yes?”  

“Hawkmoth and the akuma attacks . . .”  

“Let's say Ladybug and Chat Noir decided to globally broadcast the existence of miraculi, magical jewels that can grant anyone immense power. What do you think will happen?”  

“It will be chaos. Everyone would be fighting to get a miraculous for themselves.”  

“A perfect example of why knowledge is dangerous.”  

Superman looks like he's thinking it over; she can only predict that he's trying to guess what kind of knowledge she holds, and how far worse it is than the Paris situation.  

“Fine,” he relents, “Can you at least tell us about Hawkmoth's reign?”  

Marinette notes how he said Hawkmoth's reign, which leads her to inwardly ask if he's one of those who believes in her innocence.  

“Why?”  

“What?”  

“Why do I owe you my trauma?” She makes her tone calm but her words impactful. “I've set my expectations for the Justice League, and now I can say that you've gone below it.”  

“What are—”  

“What gives you the right to persecute someone from Paris when you neglected our city when it mattered?” Her eyes narrow slightly. “Much less ask that someone for intel you can't be bothered to find yourself?”  

It's already common knowledge for the Parisians: at one point, the young heroes had called on the JL for aid during Hawkmoth's time, but they were unanswered again and again. It’s just bemusing, how in the most urgent of times, they haven’t responded at all, but when a random girl is convicted of terrorism, suddenly they're all up in their feet.  

The silence in the room is deafening, and Marinette can tell the onlookers outside are speechless as well.  

Superman's voice is painted with deep regret. “I'm sorry. We’re trying to extend our help to the city, even if that doesn't make up for our mistake. We want to do that with you as well, but why do you want to be in prison?”  

Partly, it's because she owes Paris that much. The city never found out who Hawkmoth was, so their anguish was directed at the heroes instead for keeping them in the dark. Then a year later, they find a girl fitting into the profile of their villain. If she's the convenient scapegoat they choose to blame, then so be it.  

“I didn't go here on my own. You guys brought me here,” Marinette says pointedly.  

“That's not what I meant.”  

“You know I can't cooperate even if you try to convince me.” She looks at the window, even if she can only see her reflection. “I think it's best for you to spend your energy elsewhere.”  

---

“That sign is flickering,” Adrien comments with a mouthful of burger in his mouth.  

Eating double-decker burgers in a Batburger parking lot at nearly two in the morning certainly isn't their usual gig. But Adrien gathered from the reliable internet that the Batburgers are a must-try during a Gotham visit, so he decides to hunt for them. Kagami surreptitiously heard about his plans and wanted to tag along, as did Luka. Fei has to join to babysit them.  

“Here, Gami, flip it upside down. The bun will absorb the sauce,” Luka suggests to the girl beside him, who has been attempting to bite down on her burger for a minute already.  

“Seriously, we are being americanized,” quips Fei, who squeezes out some more ketchup on hers.  

“Aw come on, it's a celebration for Adrien,” Luka says, “He did a good job in his defense attorney debut.”  

The boy in question groans, pausing mid-bite to drop down his head on his free hand. “I did so badly! Even when I spent all night reading that textbook on French law and making my cute little badge. She was still proclaimed guilty!”  

“We all know Marinette doesn't mind.” Fei picked up her soda from beside her to let Adrien have a sip. “You could've, you know, told her you'll be representing her. To get the trial running more smoothly.”  

“I had it under control,” the blond insists, “It's just that they brought up the childhood issues card, which is a foul by the way, they basically breached her privacy. I'm still so mad about that!”  

“If I could give my critique, I'd say you should've done a worse number on Rossi,” says Kagami.  

“I couldn't. They would've kicked me out of that trial and disbarred me.”  

“Adrien, you're not a real lawyer in the first place,” Luka reminds him.  

“Whatever. That trial's done and we just have to think about what to do next.” Fei makes a face at the grease on her fingers and furiously rubs them into a napkin. “Marinette's aboard the Watchtower now, so we have to do our work down here—”  

“Marinette's in the Watchtower?!”  

“Yes, Adrien, the JL took her away, remember?”  

“Do you think if I turn myself in for fraud, the JL will take me there too?”  

“Adrien—”  

“What if I say my father's the supervillain, do you think they'll take me? That earns me criminal points, right?”  

Kagami delivers a light slap to his arm. “I thought we agreed that you would not joke about that.”  

Adrien lets out a huff of defeat, focusing back on his burger. Just then a noise sounds out from above them—looking up, he sees that a vigilante has landed on top of the restaurant, partially cloaked by the night. The figure offers a friendly wave, which Fei snorts at.  

“Did we do something?” Adrien whispers as he looks at his friends. “If this is about the camembert stash in our hotel room, I swear to kwamis, it's not me.”  

“What does the infamous Red Robin want with us?” Fei yells up at the stranger.  

“Oh good. You know me.” Red Robin drops down to a ledge, much closer so they can hear him.  

“This is about Marinette, isn't it?” Luka guesses out loud.  

The vigilante nods. “The Justice League is conducting its own investigation for her case. I was hoping to hear from you, since you four are her closest friends.”  

“What's there to hear from us?” Adrien asks. “I already gave my statements to the court.” 

“Before you ask us, we knew nothing about her involvement with the Butterfly miraculous before the whole thing blew up,” Fei supplies firmly.  

Red Robin taps his fingers on his leg. Adrien wishes he can see him better, because he's pretty sure the Gothamite is buzzing with eagerness. Entertainment. “This isn't a formal interrogation so I call your bullshit. You're obviously lying.”  

“Even if we are, you don't have the evidence for that claim.” Adrien licks the sauce that has gathered on his thumb. “The police already asked us. They got nothing from us.”  

“But aren't you concerned that your friend just got thrown into jail?”  

Ah. All the while, they've been munching on fast food in a deserted parking lot. Adrien can tell there's something wrong with that picture. 

Kagami smiles wryly. “Marinette assured us she'll be fine before she was arrested. Unless the Justice League has turned inhumane and is currently torturing her?”  

“No—no, of course not! A handful of the heroes want to prove her innocence, in fact. Don't you want to help out?”  

“Even if we do want to fight for her freedom,” Fei replies, “Are you insinuating that we try to break her out of space prison?”  

And Luka adds, “Marinette's very stubborn if you haven't seen yourself already. We can't help her if she doesn't want to be helped.” 

“Any idea why she's like that?”  

The four of them simultaneously shrug.  

“So your lips are sealed like hers. Got it.” Red Robin sighs. “Why are you in Gotham?”  

“Oh? Did tourists need clearance from the Bats before vacationing in Gotham?” Adrien quips, raising an eyebrow.  

“No, I thought you'll be in Paris. Imagine my surprise tracking you down here.”  

Fei crosses her arms. “Marinette's trial opened up fresh wounds in that city. Of course anyone would want to escape for a short while.”  

“You're not from Paris.”  

“I was close enough to Marinette to understand what it was like. I'm from Shanghai, which Hawkmoth also targeted once, in case you haven't done your research.”  

“You're having a getaway in Gotham, though. Why in Gotham?”  

“Why does that matter?” Adrien rakes a hand through his hair. “If you're concerned about our safety here, don't be. We have experience beating up akumas while half-awake.”  

“Actually we wanted to see what's so great about Gotham that Batman chose to neglect Paris all this time,” says Kagami casually.  

That seems to have struck a nerve. “We didn't know—!”  

“You ignored a city crying for help,” Fei says, “Sorry birdy, but this is a touchy subject if you ask all Parisians. They may have given Marinette to the JL, but everyone still holds a grudge. It's not just us.”  

Later on, they finally chase off the talkative bird, but Adrien has grown quiet. While the burger did lift his mood a little, Red Robin's appearance has soured it again. He angrily sips on the last of Fei's drink (which he promises to replace at another time), leaning against one hand on the pavement.  

“The nerve of them,” he mutters. “Now I don't want to stay in Gotham anymore. Let's go back to base.”  

---

Damian's heart is practically leaping out of his chest. The incidents in Paris and the convicted girl are all the talk in the Wayne manor. At first, he had no mind of looking into it himself until he saw a picture of her.  

Before he knows it, he's suited up, headed towards the Zeta tubes and the Watchtower, breathless but persistent. He knows that face from his dreams. He has memorized that girl in his memories. If there is a chance she's alive after all, he doesn't care how; he just needs to confirm it with his own eyes.  

Finally he's there and he sees her sitting on the foot of the bed. Her blue eyes widen when they meet his, and she presses herself against the wall when he subconsciously opens up the barrier himself. That's when it dawns on Damian that it is her, it's Marie in the flesh, the girl he killed when he was a child. Overwhelmed with the tightness in his chest, he drops on the ground, trembling. 

“Hey, are you okay? What's going on?”  

He feels her presence nearby but her voice seems warped, like he's hearing her underwater. He tries to blink his eyes back into focus, only to be met with a hazy double vision. Hot tears run down the sides of his face; he doesn't notice the hands holding onto his arms.  

“You—you . . .I don't—” he chokes out.  

The voice is closer now. “Stay with me, okay? You're going to be okay. Come on, deep breaths.”  

Damian cannot even control himself, which is such a foreign feeling. His body is wracked with sobs as he holds onto her tightly in the fear she'll disappear before him again. He can't form coherent words, nor stop the shaky cries from his throat. It's as if all the grief he's bottled up in his childhood is coming out all at once.  

She slowly shushes him. “It's okay. I'm going to touch your back now, is that okay?”  

He nods against her shoulder, hearing his heartbeat become less erratic. A small hand presses against his suit and rubs circles on it. He starts to savor the warmth— 

“What are you doing?!”  

He's suddenly separated from that warmth, but he can't register what's happening. He can hear loud yelling and footsteps rushing, and from the corner of his eye, he catches the movement of his father's cape. Damian whimpers, clutching his head.  

“I don't know! He suddenly came in and—”  

I needed to see her! 

“You used magic on him!”  

No, she didn’t harm me. I need to talk to her! 

“No, I did not, he's having a panic attack—”  

Stop, please—the words seem to dissolve on his lips.

“Stay away from my son!”  Damian doesn't know how or when, but he's being carried away from the warmth, from her. His body struggles to break free, but he's forcefully held down. The tears come again, unstoppable as his whole body shakes. 

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Fun Fact! The idea of Adrien being Marinette's defense lawyer came from a joke between him and Kagami. If you ask Luka, he'll say he had no part in it. They carefully kept the secret from Fei and Marinette until the day of the trial . . . for obvious reasons Taglist: @noisydreamlandkoala

[beginnerblueglass]

Elvis (2022), culture of celebrity, Greek heroism, idolatry, and dehumanization.

So this Christmas my Gramma got Baz Lurhmann's Elvis Presley biopic, aptly named Elvis, in her stocking. I watched it with her, and then I watched it again three days later, and then a third time a week after that. Since then it's pretty much been keeping me up at night. I felt like I had to get my thoughts down, even if this just lives in my drafts for all eternity. So here we go; I've never written a long-form meta like this, and I'm really just emptying out my brain at this point. (Long post).

1. Elvis as seen through the eyes of the man who killed him (or did he?)

The movie begins in Las Vegas in 1997, and we are immediately introduced to an old man who's just collapsed from a stroke. He's rushed to the hospital in an ambulance and in his stroke-induced, fever-dream narration he describes himself as Colonel Tom Parker, the man who gave the world Elvis Presley. This narration is interrupted by loud voices of accusation and glaring headlines flashing across the screen, which accuse him of abusing, manipulating, overworking, and ultimately causing the death of Elvis Presley. He sits up quickly in his hospital bed, looks out at the Las Vegas cityscape, and tells us not to believe what the newspapers say about him. He declares that he did not, in fact, kill Elvis, and begins to tell the story from his point of view.

Now the first time I watched this movie, I was overwhelmed and slightly put off by the off-kilter pacing, and having read some reviews, I can see that many other viewers were as well. The first half of this movie is frenetic, erratic, impossibly quick-paced, bright, colourful, and has little respect for chronological order. These are the frantic, confused, morphine-induced ramblings of an old man on his deathbed, allegedly trying to set the record straight concerning the serious allegations which have been plaguing him for decades.

Something happens in the middle of this movie, however. After the victorious emotional and career peak of Elvis's '68 Comeback, the tone of the movie takes a turn. The pace slows down, the colour scheme loses its lustre, and there begins a growing sense of unease and dread. Something terrible is coming. It's ominous. Even if the viewer knows nothing about Elvis Presley, the opening scenes of the movie have already told us that he dies at the end. The main character of the story is nearing his end, and the storyteller on his deathbed is also nearing his.

So Elvis dies, and we get to the end of Parker's tale of self-defence. The only problem is, while he's been telling the story, we've been watching the story, and it seems beyond obvious that the Colonel is exactly what the shouting voices accused him of being at the beginning of the movie: a liar, cheat, and conman, guilty of causing Elvis's death. His final statement is easy to throw away as just another lie, "I'll tell you what really killed my boy: it was love, the love he felt from you, his fans." We roll our eyes in disgust and hope that he dies soon.

But wait. What does he mean by that and could he possibly have a point?

2. Celebrity culture, idolatry, and dehumanization.

I love a good story that accomplishes more than one purpose and tells more than just one story. Elvis tells the story of Elvis Presley, sure, and Colonel Tom Parker, and American pop culture, and the history of American music. It also tells a story that's been played out in real life, film, and television many, many times. The story of the meteoric rise and cataclysmic downfall of a beloved celebrity, a cultural icon, a superstar. What causes the downfall? Well, Parker claims that the culprit is love, specifically, the love fans feel for the celebrities they idolize. I found this movie to be a compelling examination of the dangers of the most prevalent form of idolatry in our culture: celebrity worship.

Before watching this movie I thought I had a pretty fair idea of who Elvis Presley was. I grew up in North America after all, and watched television, and you know, existed. I grew up listening to his Christmas album. I grew up watching Full House, in which one of the main characters, Uncle Jesse, is Elvis Presley's biggest fan. Since I can remember I've always been able to identify pictures of Elvis, and his voice. I can sing along to many of his songs. Many years ago my Gramma acquired a box set of all of Elvis's movies; I've seen bits and pieces of quite a few. Because of the internet, I've learned many commonly circulated fun facts about him, things like, "He was actually blond," and, "He was a legit federal agent," and, "He loved peanut butter." White sparkly jumpsuit, slick coiffed black hair, sideburns, curled lip, funny voice = Elvis, of course.

He is one of the preeminent members of a class of celebrity all on its own: the cultural icon. I wonder if some people don't think about the fact that "icon" is a religious word. In the minds of most people, and in the view of pop culture, Elvis Presley is no longer a human being just like anyone else; he has been reduced to a costume, an easily recognized symbol. Of what? Depends on who you ask. A symbol of America, or good, or evil, or Hollywood, or rock 'n roll, or Las Vegas, or teenage rebellion, or wealth, or a sex symbol.

What happens when a human being becomes the object of another human being's worship? They become just that, an object. Forms of worship include adoration, attention, devotion, money, and sex. They are offered in the name of love, and are often received as love. Our unreliable narrator makes the probably-true comment that Elvis became addicted to the false love, to the point where real love could not compare. Worshipers then feel entitlement to receive certain things back. The idol's life becomes public property, an open book which must be available for a photo shoot at all times, no matter how invasive. Fans swarm the gate of his private home, climb trees to peer into his window, refuse to watch a movie in which he doesn't sing, and photographers must capture his grief after his mother's death, and his haircut and physical exam before entering the military. Both the worshipers and the idol are eaten up by the vicious, dehumanizing cycle, which bears the pretty name of love.

We are invited to consider: did the consumeristic, idolatrous culture, which has a tendency to see people as products to be bought, invite the meddling of wicked, opportunistic men like Colonel Parker? Or did the wicked men, who package people up and market them as products to be sold, engineer such a culture?

3. Greek Mythology, the American Dream, and Elvis Presley.

Typology and literary archetypes are my jam. I adore how movies can play with these concepts through imagery and music. One of my all-time favourite movies is A Knight's Tale (2001). A Knight's Tale is about a peasant who masquerades as a knight and achieves fame, wealth, glory, and love. The director wanted the story to resonate with modern audiences, so he decided to portray knights as the medieval equivalent of rock stars. The movie utilizes symbols, metaphors, costume clues, and a killer soundtrack of classic rock songs to reinforce the idea that we are watching not just a movie about a knight, but also a movie about a rock star. The audience is invited to make inferences and assumptions based on what we know about the rock star archetype.

Baz Luhrmann made a comment in a behind-the-scenes interview, that Elvis had a mythic, hard-to-wrap-our-minds-around life, one that conforms to both the ancient Greek heroic tragedy and the American Dream narrative. So naturally I am obsessed with this idea. Let's get into it.

i. Greek hero stories, glory, the classic character arc.

I'm not an expert in Greek mythology, but I'm no slouch either. The ancient world greatly valued this thing, which has many names in many different cultures. You can see it in Genesis, the concept of having a great name, and the power that comes with it. It's a not-quite-abstract but not-quite-actual, metaphysical substance. For the Greeks, we'll call it glory. Glory is gained by accomplishing heroic feats: killing monsters, fighting in wars, and going on quests. Glory comes with fame, reputation, power, respect, money, women, and often supernatural abilities which give the owner the ability to accomplish more heroic feats, thereby gaining more glory. It is the vocation of heroes to pursue glory. Along with the ability to pursue glory, comes the desire for more. The more you have, the more you want. In fact, it's almost addictive.

The other thing about glory: it's corruptive. The longer you have it, the more things you are willing to do to get more, and the more power you have to do those possibly morally dubious things.

Most Greek heroes were demigods. They were born with a little bit of glory already inside them. This compelled them to seek more glory, and since they were demigods, they had a leg up when it came to getting it; they already had some supernatural strength and a powerful parent. They did heroic feats, achieved glory, received the power, fame, and wealth that came with the glory, were compelled to seek after more, and so on and so forth. Most Greek heroes had one or a mixture of two fates. 1) They died. Either they were in a situation where they were prevented from seeking more glory, so they wasted away, or they were killed in the pursuit of glory by an enemy, monster, or possibly by another hero. 2) They became corrupted. This often happened in ironic, cruel-twist-of-fate ways. One of the villains they fought in their youth was an evil king who murdered his own children, so somehow they ended up becoming a king who murdered his own children, something like that. You know the story: "You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain," or the classic, "You've become the very thing you swore to destroy."

ii. The American Dream Narrative.

A common literary trope, the American Dream story is appealing and inspirational, at least at first glance. The structure is pretty simple: The hero is born poor, with nothing but some talent and/or charisma. Due to a mixture of savviness, charm, hard work, and luck, the hero rises to the top and achieves the Dream of money, renown, independence, and freedom. The deconstruction of the American Dream is just as common in fiction. There's a catch, things don't go according to plan, the illusion fails, your luck runs out, etc. There is both so much hope and optimism, and so much mistrust and jadedness surrounding the American Dream. Can it be real?

iii. Elvis Presley.

Elvis was born with a little bit of something. He was born with beauty, charm, and musical talent; a star quality. These qualities of his drove him to use them. Nothing huge at first, but he always had high aspirations; he believed he could go somewhere. The more heroic feats he accomplished (performing and recording music and making movies), the more glory (or fame) he got. The more glory he got, the more he sought; gradually it became addictive. Soon, the corruptive quality of the glory reared its head.

Imagine an arc; the glory propelled him to the top of that arc, along with everything else the glory promises: money, fame, recognition, love, women, power. Up to a point, the glory is a positive force, but once the hero reaches the top of that arc, it becomes a more sinister thing; it starts pushing him down the other side. It starts to corrupt not only the hero but the people around him. While on the upward climb, the glory is like a magic elixir that grants wishes, but on the descent, it becomes more like drinking poison. Elvis's drug addiction and eating disorder seem like an on-the-nose literary device to symbolize this, but no! It happened.

What about the American Dream? He's the poster boy! Born absolutely dirt poor, with nothing but some talent and a dream. With a fortuitous mixture of charisma, hard work, meeting the right people at the right time, and being in the right place at the right time, he rose to the top. He also managed to nab (or be nabbed by) a business-savvy manager with a carnival background. It could only be the American Dream because Elvis, his music, his career, and his fashion were all uniquely American; he couldn't have come from anywhere else in the world, at any other time in history. Rock 'n Roll, the US Army, Hollywood, and Las Vegas, are inseparable from America.

I saw a person saying that the message of Elvis is that the American Dream is unattainable, but I disagree. It is attainable, but that's not the whole story. The movie presents the American Dream more as a deal with the devil. You'll get everything you ever wanted! But then you'll have to pay the price. To gain the American Dream is to open yourself to the ravages of American consumerism and celebrity idol worship. It's to make yourself vulnerable to the vultures, while you fatten yourself on the riches they feed to you. I don't think the movie portrays Elvis as a completely duped, innocent victim. While he was sometimes force-fed the glory (or the pills), many times he swallowed them consciously, willingly, losing the people who were actually looking out for him and truly loved him to forces outside his control, or due to his own choices. He was not immune to the corruptive power of fame and glory; no one is. That's the tragedy.

Anyway, I don't know how to conclude, but this isn't a school assignment so who cares? Baz Luhrmann is a genius, wow what a good movie, I can't wait to watch it again, I didn't even say anything about the soundtrack or Austin Butler's awe-inspiring performance, I love you Austin Butler,* I wrote this instead of a book report for school, it was worth it, I don't even care if no one reads it, I had fun, now to get on with my life.

*edit: his work, that is, and I admire his devotion to his craft. My point is not that we can’t be fans of celebrities. I believe that ALL human beings are worthy of love and dignity, NO human beings are worthy of another human’s worship, and such an attitude is as damaging to the worshipped as it is to the worshiper, and that SOME human beings, by virtue of extraordinary talent, are worthy of additional respect and admiration. I respect and admire Elvis Presley, Baz Luhrmann, and Austin Butler for being talented artists. The English language being what it is, love is the word we often use to sum all that up, but seeing as I just wrote this whole thing, I thought I’d clarify ✌️

[psalmsofpsychosis]

(still the same anon from all those Batman/Joker asks)

Be ready with those empty walls, pal, I'm on my way!! I've already thrown my suitcase in the car and filled up the gas-

You blew every expectation I had with that answer of yours and I don't know if I'll ever recover. I will absolutely respond to your answer but first I need to put my brain back together from being rearranged like a jigzaw puzzle. I'm definitely looking forward to reading that Jesus/side wound meta whenever you post it.

Until then I have a different question. I don't remember who said it but it was along these lines: "There are only three people in the world who find the Joker funny. Joker himself, sometimes Harley and lastly Bruce. And he feels so fucking guilty for it."

They pointed out how Batman does a lot of bad puns, same as the Joker, except he does it with a straight face and serious tone. For example: Bat-terry, Bat-bucket, Bat-arang, saying "hang in there Alfred" while Alfred is dangling off a metal beam. (Those are my rushed examples, not something the original poster brought up, so if they're unaccurate, that's my fault). Bruce will also just say the craziest shit and nobody is sure if he's serious or not. (Happens all the time)

I have a vague suspicion who it was but I'm not sure enough to @ them.

Joker and Batman's sense of humour and how they are somewhat opposed but still similar will drive me into an early grave I swear. Like that post that's still circulating somwhere that mentions how Bruce "lives and dies by the fact that nobody can ever tell when he's pulling their chain" and how Joker "craves to have his comedic genius acknowledged [but he's just not funny]".

I don't know about Joker wanting to be acknowledged as funny because I don't think he considers himself to be in the clown business. He definitely ranted about this to a captured Damian in a comic once. But he does make a lot of bad jokes. Maybe he doesn't think himself funny, either?

Any thoughts?

(Btw I'm not done pestering you yet, be ready to receive an ask about the Batman: I Am Suicide comic and about Martha and Thomas Wayne in the next few days. I still have to gather my thoughts though.)

(Can I just say that every single one of your answers has made my brain release a huge amount of serotonin? Or is that too much? Eh, whatever, it's the truth anyway. You've brightened my week considerably, thank you so much!!)

❤️❤️ hi friend, i adore receiving your asks and getting to exchange interpretations with you, and i can only hope that my superturbonexus unhinged answers have brought half as much joy to you as your questions have brought me 🥰

I kinda took my time with this ask (sorry!) because it's a rather big bite out of an intricate can of bat worms for me, can included. I also found and reread this particular post by @distort-opia , which put more a dozen more interesting worms in my metaphorical can— i'm not sure though if it was the post you were initially referring to.

So! The concept of jokes and generally being a funnyman is a subjective talk, and my personal preferences regarding where Joker and Batman place on the funnyman scale deviate considerably from what the general consensus in batman fandom seems to be (or the lot i have seen of it), so i guess i'll just take this opportunity to do personal talk, probably more than usual 😂 take it all with a grain of salt! (an ingradient that you'll find this answer contains a fair bit of actually—)

I dont think Joker is funny one bit, and i dont think he's particularly trying to be in the general sense of the word; to imply that he's "funny" both in-world and on a meta level would mean that being funny is his core motivation and the heart of his actions, that it's the foundational component, and to me it's not. A bit more a matter of personal taste on my part, but i actually feel lowkey irritated with Joker portrayals that lean too heavily on the "HE MAKES JOKES HE'S SO FUNNY!!!!!" act at the expect of every other significant characteristic he has, because like, funny is not who he is, it's just one of the 500 things he does. Sure he started as a fun character meant to bring in a dash of psychopathic delight to the early Batman works, but he has evolved to become so much more than that, which i like better than the more simplistic "he's a funny fun guy!!!!" characterizations. To me Joker is not funny, he is not supposed to be the way you pour salt on your dish but it's not supposed to taste salty, it's supposed to taste /right/. His jokes aren't the main dish, they're an added flavour meant to bring home a certain act: the performance. He's a showman, he's here to put on a good show, and that show doesn't have the end goal of being "fun", it has the goal of being iconoclastic and real and raw. But he can't exactly do raw, raw and sincere scares him, in a way he's a slave to his fear and tries to cage it and tame it and understand it the way Batman is scared of bats and everything they represent and he made them his very persona. Joker tries to be true and geniune and sincere but he can't, so he infuses his actions with jokes to soften the blow, shift the taste a bit. He also has the genius' disease; he wants to be seen through, interpreted, understood and reimagined, mirrored, and it's an itch only a certain fellow fucked up intellectual can scratch for him.

Batman deeply understands the value of a good performance and a viciously planned persona, he is a performer both as Bruce Wayne and as Batman after all. And he has the expertise to dissect and bring out all the nuance in Joker's performance, it's probably why he finds him funny. He understands the theatre piece, both when it's executed in a stellar fashion and when it falls flat on its face. noone else can bring this level of discernment to interpreting Joker like Batman does because what other villains do is actually less performance and more.... outright insanity. I think this is also the reason why Batman enjoys saying the most insane shit and making weird jokes at weird times and have everyone be confused by him, it's part of the performance. There are these little almost invisible acts that Batman and Joker catch of each other, that they want to catch of each other, "i'm shaking the persona a bit", like when an actor improvises a moment to keep the role fresh, but only the people in on the script catch it, to others it feels in accordance, not off enough to catch attention. It's one of their core points of connection and similarity actually, they both have their performances and they both wiggle in its frame, sometimes threatening to break through the confines.

[grapejuicegay]

Thai BL Favorites List Tag Game

I was tagged by @feralmuskyscentedhoepran @casualavocados @waitmyturtles (look guys! I'm actually getting to a tag game relatively fast this time!)

Favourite bl:

Could it be anything but Bad Buddy? It's my first ever bl, it changed my life, I met some of my favourite people on here because of it and it just destroys me every single day just be existing. It got me with a flying kick in the chest and I have never let go since

Favourite pairing:

I joined at such a great time in bl and I've had an absolutely wonderful amazing 2 years with so many great pairings. But I love Ink with my whole entire heart and I love both of them and just their very existence as a pairing is Such a Big Deal in the industry as a whole that it can't be anything but

My girls!!!! I have nothing more to say

More underrated actor:

I think it's a toss up between Sing Harit and Aou Thanaboon. I'm excited every time Sing has any sort of role in any show I watch. He's brilliant and SO good. Just like with Neo, he's great at comic relief and effortlessly funny but also SO GOOD in a serious role. And Aou just showed up like a year ago and maybe I'm biased because I'm obsessed with Mes and I love him as Max but I just want to see more of him.

Favourite character:

Feral. Musky Scented. Hoe. Baby Boy. King of Repression. Menace. Dimples. Pran Parakul Siridechawat. I love him so much.

Favourite side character:

Wat "you are what you eat. what you take builds who you are" Wasuwat. Just making movies and looking out for his friends and being their voice of reason in the face of the impossible pressure on all of their shoulders.

Favourite scene:

The Eclipse ep 6 beach scene!

Not just because it's such a good scene but also because it's the reason @casualavocados and I finally started talking after months of lurking around each others' blogs. Julian ily never forget the big meta 💖💖

Favourite line:

I've already yelled with @dribs-and-drabbles and @dimplesandfierceeyes how absolutely insane "I'm tired of pretending to hate you while your face has taken over my heart" is.

But also, "I can't change the world but the world can't change me either"

It's such a powerful line delivered in the sunniest of settings. It's validating and empowering and comforting. It's as big a hug as Uncle Tong gives the boys when they say goodbye.

Most anticipated bl and why:

Only Friends and 23.5 Degrees. I don't think I need to explain

Healthiest relationship in a bl:

They snipe and snark at each other constantly but the only reason it works is because they know each other inside and out. They look out for each other, they fight but they figure it out, they talk about everything. They love each other not despite of their flaws but because of them (it's literally canon!). They make me want to tear my hair out with how much they love each other.

Most toxic relationship in a bl:

I've been very very lucky so far to have watched only great to average shows. I know they exist, but not for me they don't 🥰

Guilty pleasure series:

I don't think I really have any?? Largely because guilty pleasure is usually assigned to shows that are cheesy and/or pulpy shows that you don't like to admit to enjoying because you don't want to admit to watching them at all. I just enjoy enough objectively bad media (fast and furious franchise my beloved) to not really feel guilty over anything I like anymore.

Bonus! Most underrated series:

Agreeing with both @casualavocados and @waitmyturtles on Triage and He's Coming to Me. Both of them absolutely fantastic and DEFINITELY need more attention.

This was fun! I don't know who to tag that hasn't done this already! I guess I haven't seen one yet from @dimplesandfierceeyes @respectthepetty @lost-my-sanity1 @jemmo. If anyone else wants to do this, consider yourself tagged too!

[marypsue]

Blood will out for WIP game?

[from this meme]

Thank you for asking about this one, because it's one I haven't really talked about on here and I'm very glad to have the excuse!

I wrote Lost in the Shadow of the Vampire, which is one of the most self-indulgent things I've ever posted: a piece of semi-meta semi-fan-fiction, where a (fictional) actress working on a (fictional) reboot-slash-sequel to 1987 cult classic The Lost Boys starts to suspect that one of her costars is actually becoming a vampire like the ones in the movie. It was a complete blast to write, and I had so much fun figuring out what the fictional reboot-slash-sequel would be about that I decided that I'd just go ahead and write it.

Since the premise is that this is a movie, a 2015-ish all-female reboot slash sequel ignoring all the other sequels, I tried to come up with a plot hook that would let me introduce new leads and change the time period, while honouring the vibe (without just ripping off the plot of the original) and calling back to the original, but also respecting which actors from the original would actually be likely to come back (and which actors from the original are still, uh. Alive). Also, I wanted a girl gang of vampires who have unfuckwithable style and vibes.

So. The premise of Blood Will Out is that, shortly after she turns eighteen, Kate Fischer, the biological daughter of Star and Michael Emerson, starts turning into a vampire. Since she was adopted as a baby and has had no contact with her bio family until very recently, she has absolutely no idea what's going on - but her sister Jamie does. And, because of what Jamie had thought was a very convincing blog-form webnovel and interactive ARG but is now looking like it's actually just the blog of an actual real-life vampire hunter, they have a line of communication to one Edgar Frog.

Unfortunately, this ends up raising more questions than answers. Was there something sinister behind the string of tragedies that struck Kate's birth family and left her orphaned? Was her becoming a half-vampire really biological destiny, or does someone have plans for her? And, once she finds herself drawn into the orbit of a trio of captivating vampires who're more than willing to accept her as one of their own, does she even want to go back to human? Will Jamie get her sister back, or lose her forever?

Does the world need another female-OC-centric TLB fic? Who knows? Who cares? I haven't written one yet, and I'm having fun. (Also, I have a big reveal in mind for the third act that I haven't seen anyone do before, and is positively evil. I'm excited about it.)

I've posted one small sample here, but here, have another:

“Where the hell were you.”

Kate closes her eyes for a second. Like she’s tired. Jamie knows better than to buy that. It’s past midnight. This is prime Kate active hours.

“I’m serious, Kate. I woke up – alone, in a strange city, in California, by the way – and you were just gone. No note, no text, your phone here on the desk -”

Kate sounds defensive, not meeting Jamie’s eyes. Good. She should feel guilty. “Don’t shit yourself. You fell asleep. I was bored. I took a little walk.”

“A little walk down to the Boardwalk, Kate?”

And now Kate doesn’t look like she feels guilty at all. Just kind of flatly angry. Jamie absolutely doesn’t feel a little silver wiggle of apprehension about that. “So what if it was?”

Jamie can’t find words. So instead, she settles for letting her face and her upturned hands do the asking for her. “So what if – Kate. Kate. We agreed. Neither of us goes down there alone. Do I need to remind you that you had to lock yourself in your room for nine solid hours because you accidentally saw a nosebleed? Do you know how many people -”

“Nobody died and I didn’t eat anybody,” Kate snaps, yanking out the chair by the little desk and dropping into it with her front pressed against its back and her legs splayed out to either side. She presses her chin into her hands on the top of the chair back, so the next words come out as a muffled grumble. “Not like you could’ve stopped me if you had been there, anyway.”

The silence that descends around and between them is abrupt and icy.

Kate shifts uncomfortably in the chair, looking everywhere but at Jamie. Like she knows she’s crossed a line. But she doesn’t seem any too ready to apologise for it. “I know you don’t like thinking about it, Jay. But it’s true. If I did go off the deep end -”

Jamie only realises she’s been frozen perfectly still in place when she tries to unclaw her hand from around the TV remote. “I wouldn’t let you. I won’t let you.”

“Jamie…” Kate’s eyes shutter, for a moment, before she finally looks Jamie in the eye again. “You could get hurt. I. Might hurt you.”

Jamie meets her gaze with one of her own, steady and, she hopes, fearless. “You won’t.”

Kate breaks first. She shuts her eyes, rolls her head back on her shoulders, and grips the chair back, leaning back as far as her arms’ reach will let her. “Ugh. Do you think Mom’s found our note yet?”

In answer, Jamie holds up her phone. Kate flops her head forward again so she can look under her mess of dark curls and see the notifications that fill up the screen. Can see that Jamie’s had fifty-eight missed calls and a hundred and two unread texts.

“I think she’s found it,” Jamie cracks.

Kate groans, long and deep and heartfelt, and lets her head flop backwards again.

She starts getting out her laptop as Jamie’s crawling back into bed. Jamie watches her face, the hard set of her stare, as she sets it up on the desk and boots it up. Now that Kate’s back, the wild anger – and the fear that had driven it – are starting to settle again. But there’s a slow, deep, sucking dread starting to take their place. The matter-of-fact coldness, the who-cares attitude earlier – that’s not Kate. At least, not the Kate Jamie knows. And the longer this goes on, the more often this new, cold version of Kate seems to slip to the surface.

But. Even this new, cold version of Kate still doesn’t want Jamie to get hurt.

That has to count for something.

“Kate?” Jamie says, pulling the covers up around her head so she’s looking at her sister through a tunnel of duvet.

Kate makes a wordless noise of acknowledgment without looking up from the laptop screen.

“You’re going to go back to the Boardwalk without me, aren’t you.”

That actually does get Kate to turn around. To look Jamie in the eye. “Jamie -”

Jamie doesn’t give her a chance to speak. She doesn’t really want to hear her sister talk about losing control again. But more than that, she just doesn’t want to have to hear Kate lie to her. She doesn’t want to know if Kate could do it with her eyes steady on Jamie’s and not a hint of guilt in her face or her voice. “Not tonight, okay? Just…don’t go back there again tonight.”

Kate rolls her bottom lip between her teeth, something in her stare softening.

“Not tonight,” she agrees. “Everything’s shut down by now, anyway. Now come on, Jay. It’s almost one AM. You’ve gotta be up early tomorrow if we’re gonna have any time before dawn makes me useless.”

“Your messed-up sleep schedule’s rubbing off on me,” Jamie grumbles good-naturedly, as she lets her head sink back into the pillow and her eyes drift shut. The bed’s never felt so warm, so soft. Despite her nap earlier, she really is tired.

“Oh shit, I hope not,” Kate says, sounding worried. And then, warmly, “G’night, Jamie. Get some sleep.”

Jamie drifts off to the sound of her sister’s fingers tick-tick-ticking over the laptop’s keys.

[grechsblog]

Oc? 👀

YOU FOOL, YOU ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD !!! NOW ALL OF THE TUMBLR WILL KNOW I HAVE NO ARTISTIC TALENT!!!!!!!

On the serious note, thank you. Now, i can

1. Lok, a guy with amnesia

Appearance

I do not have a full ref of him because i cant draw coherent pictures as a reference.

Heres his colored floating head and a bunch of sketches i did in class with a pen and was still motivated to draw

And a silly little stickman rendition in that style i use in comics sometimes

Personality

Surprisingly good leader

A little cocky at times, but does know how to gain leverage against strong opponents

Does, in fact, like fighting. Weapon of preference is a sword, although he's also proficient in any object that can be used as weapon

Relies a lot on his reflexes though, sometimes maybe too much, which is a byproduct of the fact that his body knows more than he ever will.

Moderately caring person, although cannot pass by someone in distress without feeling a little guilty

Would die to save friend. Had died to save a friend. The world died for him to save a friend.

His teeth are not for show. Do not threaten what is his.

Story

His story is just as incoherent as are my attempts to give him full ref, only thing time it's intentional.

The premise is such: he wakes up in a world he only particularly recognises (but it feels Extremely off) with little memory of who he is, what he's supposed to do or go. The story itself is a journey to uncover his previous life, find his forgotten friends while gaining new ones, and discover the secrets of the world he inhabits!

What actually happens to him (as the story goes) is that he has a panic attack shortly after waking up, - because he doesn't even remember his own name! - fights a Big and Deadly Bird™ with his bare hands, face-plants in a mud puddle, has another panic attack after seeing his face in a river, kills some monsters with his teeth, dies, tears more monsters with the tools he scrapped from nothing and dies again. Yes, in that exact order. And it's not even the end of his first week here.

He's... Going through it

As of his ✨ mysterious backstory ✨.... It's incomplete :p

And by incomplete i mean that i have some bare bones structure of it, but its still mostly just... In the air. Because i love him as a blank slate that Knows something he Possibly Shouldn't (like craftsmanship, weapon usage, farming, ect.) that are so integrated in his muscle memory that it's literally so freaky actually. Man freak

Meta stuff

His appearance and general plot of his journey is actually based on a minecraft youtuber and his modded-mc-with-plot series that i watched at the time of creation. However, unlike the guy that won't allow his character to have any magnitude of personality and reflection of the inflicted trauma all his shenanigans surely caused, i'm rerouting the story Completely south of what actually happened there.

Although it is still happening minecraft, yes. Live with that.

Also, i classify my ocs in my head as siblings, from oldest (created earlier) to youngest (created later), and Lok is the fifth and the youngest in the family.

2. Enais "Ena" Crovn, girl that can survive Armageddon

Appearance

Imagine a generic long haired girl oc of a 11 years old that thought foxes and wings were cool, and you have basically Ena imagined fully

As you can tell.... This one is from 2017? Ish??

These ones are obviously new-er, although they are still entirely incomplete

I do not have Any new references of her except these rough sketches, and she needs Tremendous redesign because Generic Girl White Dress no longer fits, although not much have really changed with her design through the years

Design pending.

Personality

Honestly one of the least traumatised people out there. She's just living her life man.

She's just Just Some Guy.

Positive person, sometimes soft-spoken. Thinking if Fluttershy had to deliver mail instead of caring for animals, although, obviously, not to that extreme

Good with kids

Can fight but really, REALLY would rather just deliver mail, thank you very much

Loves flying

Story

Entirely unknown. Little me had at least 2 different stories for this gal, one of which was that she's an undertale-esque monster that just happened to look deceptively human and works as a mailman for the entire underground, the other being that she was a Freak Experiment of her insane scientist mother that sew wings and fox ears on her and gave her trauma

Surprisingly, the mailman (mailwoman?) one was the first one i actually came up with myself (while the Trauma route was influenced by a lot of gore mlp edits yt recommended me a lot around that time) and even there she was still cool and, by design, in genocide run would still fight the player somewhere in snowdin. So i think i will go with that one

Meta stuff

She IS actually second least traumatised oc i have. As per my ocs family tree, she's also the oldest - in fact, the very first to ever be made, so her knowledge of children comes from wrangling some ptsd and hyperactivity havers in the lot

There's actually third, secret backstory she has, which includes utdr multiverses we all know about. Although she still delivers mail there, she's actually the very same person who sends the asks to askboxes for character to receive through the entire multiverse, and she Is quite strong - because some universes are WILD and very much deadly and it was a necessity to learn to protect herself; which means she can survive anything under any circumstances.

Little me was based af for coming up with this

It is only two for now because i had not expected for it to take So Much Fucking Time to type out this little bits. Ugh

I need to make a list

[clara-maybe-ontheroad]

Weird media guilt cycle : Why I stopped watching, reading and writing about OF

So I used to be pretty active on here about a certain show (ahem ahem) while it was airing, but I started falling behind on new episodes airing and I started feeling ... Guilty ?

Like, my reasons for taking a break were real but not that deep :

despite being really fun to watch, it brought back memories of a pretty chaotic time in my life and made it tricky for me to handle some of my emotions regarding basically all the characters

I was just visiting my partner in Canada and wasn't prioritising watching this show.

But nevertheless, I fell an episode behind, which was normal. Then two. And then three. And at this point there was so many meta posts to engage with, so many things I was tagged in, so much I wanted to read, I didn't know where to start, and I didn't want to get spoiled. And I felt weirdly guilty for not being able to engage, maybe because this was my first time being involved in any kind of Tumblr community.

I felt bad not to reply and contribute to the discourse around the show ; I wanted to avoid spoilers and was so behind so I couldn't read anything and could barely go on Tumblr for a bit, because it was also reminding me I was Behind™. See how other feelings about my life were starting to get into it.

I felt like by the time I would come around to watch, everything meaningful would have been said, and like I had to be the first to comment on something for it to be valuable, and like I was not as dedicated as everyone else. Like I wasn't being productive enough, original enough... About watching one damn show.

I loved watching it ! And watching it with a community, analysing it with everyone, reading all the great posts, was so fun ! But suddenly it caused me dread.

Because coincidentally, many other things in my life that I liked stopped being fun around the same time. Other life stuff made me sink. And this show kinda became emblematic of the pause it felt like my life was taking, of me not being able to follow through, of me feeling directionless. Of me feeling like I had to focus on productive things to be worth of existing, like I was existing in an in between where I wasn't accomplishing enough. And I couldn't watch shows at all for the most part, much less shows about characters feeling lost in their lives.

Ridiculous? Yes. Very real for anxiety-ridden me? Also yes.

I was talking with my therapist the other day though, and we noted that I'm lacking creative outlets since my little depression-y phase a month ago. And that in a way, reading and writing meta about that show was filling a need for creative stuff in my life, since I no longer do YouTube/Tiktok like I also used to.

So ! After a month of being harsh with myself, I'm trying to reintroduce little joys, little moments of creation. And it's silly that writing meta about a show might be part of that, but I guess it was a form of self expression, and in my current phase I need any alley of self expression I can get.

All of this to say... I'm going to start watching that show again !

I'm going to catch up on all the amazing posts people have written about it. I'm going to write silly or serious posts about it. I'm going to try and have fun with it.

Is there any big lesson ? Probably not, or only that we truly have interesting relationships with pieces of media and online communities way beyond what they're actually about.

Also please tell me, has anyone else done this ? I feel very weird.

Anyway if I suddenly start live shitposting you know why !

[connietreecow]

anon if you're still here

please tell me who you are.

i swear on my life i will keep it to myself. i just need to be able to prove you're not the person who claimed to be you.

i understand and somewhat relate to what you said about wanting to be taken seriously. I want to be on your side here, I really want you to not be that person, I really don't want to have been tricked by them the whole time. and I really want to prove them innocent, because their mistake of pretending to be you (for what i presume was just a funny bit) seems to have caused a rift in some friendships and I feel guilty about it because they wouldn't have been involved if it weren't for me.

please anon just give me something, i want to fix everything, i want things to go back to normal. i promise i'll take your real identity to my grave unless you encourage me to share it. if you are a regular in the community like you claim, you'll know i'm an honest and genuine person and will stand by my word.

and i will not (and have never) judge(d) you for your feelings. trust me, at times in my life i've been far more down bad for far worse people, and people were understanding towards me then, so you deserve the same kindness.

please just be honest, no lies, no shenanigans, no shitposting, no jokes, just the best explanation you can give. all i will share with them is the fact that i'll have new evidence about who the anon is and why, but not actually that information itself. we will all greatly appreciate knowing we haven't been meta-punk'd, and if you are serious about your feelings, you'll indirectly get your message through to him without exposing yourself. and we can hopefully put this whole thing to rest.

however, if you actually are that person you say you aren't but who says they're you, after all we've talked about how much it hurts to be told lies within lies and flip-flopping about whether it's true or not.... i will never trust you again. <3

[localcactushugger]

Is anyone else amazed that Hawks was only "undercover" with the Leauge for 6 months at the most.

Not only that, one and a half of those 6 months were spent just trying to gain enough trust to infiltrate.

I know it seems like much longer since Hawks made his Manga debut 2 years ago. But he had such a short amount of time on this mission. Hawks was introduced in the manga with his role being the "double agent". We literally have not seen Hawks outside of his "spy" role. Even when he is interacting with other characters outside of the Leauge, his "mission" is still happening in the background.

It seems Hawks made contact with Dabi right before the Hero Billboard chart, this is when he starts trying to infiltrate. His interaction with Dabi in the warehouse begins immediately after Endeavors fight with High-End:

During this time, Dabi is testing out a High-End Nomu for doctor Ujiko. Which means by the time Endeavor fights High-End, the My Villain Academia arc is already happening. Hawks is assumed to be one of the "members" Dabi is trying to recruit:

The Leauge has already made contact with doctor Ujiko, and the Doctor sends Dabi to test his High-End Nomu out on Endeavor (even though Dabi didn't know it would be Endeavor) while the rest of the Leauge battle Machia. At the time, Dabi still doesn't trust Hawks at all and he keeps the hero at arms length. While Dabi and Hawks are sharing ominous phone calls, the Leauge is hauling ass and it take's Shigiraki a month and a half to finally beat Machia. (The MLA is "defeated" too):

After a month and a half of phone calls (while the Leauge gets their asses handed to them by Machia in the background) Hawks is finally allowed into the Leauge when the battle of Dekia City is finally over. Dabi let's him in because Hawks "kills" Best Jeanist.

But there's a problem. By the time Hawks is let in, The Leagues numbers have drastically increased. They have an army at their side, multiple High-End nomu, and are now called the MLA:

Hawks blames himself, saying that he was "too late". That so many civilians would be alive now if he had been faster. He couldn't round up the Leauge when they were a small group, and now they have an army. A powerful one:

He's in too deep now. And you can see the stress on his face. I bet he never expected to be part of an army. He was simply tasked to round up the Leauge members while they were a small group, but the MLA was completely unexpected. Still, he decides to improvise and do the best he can with the shitty cards he's been dealt. It's not like he has another option at this point.

So he slips a coded message to Endeavor ASAP. Basically saying "yo, in four months shits about to go down. Ttyl I'll keep you posted lol". He can't tell the guy in person now, because to make things harder, he has camera's on his wings. (and even though he's being watched by camera's, he also gets followed by guards at the mansion):

After Hawks relays the massge, he stroles around the mansion with his bodyguard and heads towards the cafeteria. With a little eavesdropping (courtesy of his feathers) he also finds out that the Leauges plan is to "Destroy Everything" in four months:

After he relays the massage to Endeavor, he listens to the Leauges plans of destruction as his thoughts run a thousand M.P.H.

Because now "capture the Leauge" has turned into "Holy shit I now only have 4 months to take down a full fledged terrorist organization/army from the inside-out by myself while I'm being monitored 24/7 with absolutely no privacy & also a full time job as a hero + a public image to maintain. And I can only contact my fellow pro's about this mission through code because if the villains find out I'm a double agent I could be killed and Japan could be destroyed. Also some heros have even joined the MLA so who on my own side can I trust? Only a select specific few for now I guess."

If you thought things couldn't get worse your wrong.

Because around 2 months before the raid Hawks' heart (that wants to be free & has a genuine desire to help people) takes shit a bit too far when it makes him get attached to a certain powerful villain.

Hawks quckily finds out that Twice is easily the second most powerful villain in the Leauge after Shigiraki. He's an S ranked villain and he'll kick your ass with the power of friendship anyday. He's a great guy, but him and the Leauge are still planning on doing horrible things within the next 2 months. Twice is going along with it because he wants to stick by his friends, which y'know, is a cool motive. But considering that fact that the people Hawks is trying to protect ALSO have friends, and family's, this makes shit difficult and sends Hawks on some major guilt trips. (I would show all the panels of Hawks sadly smiling as Twice calls him a "good guy", but alas- Tumblr has informed me that I've reached my 10 image per post limit)

And tbh who wouldn't feel bad about suddenly getting attached to such a golden retriever of a man and then realizing you'll have to double-cross him at some point! I'm not surprised Hawks would feel this way, especially considering the fact that he never wanted to take on this mission in the first place.

Hawks is very much a people person, and he HATES lying even when he has no other option. This is a man who got "shivers up his spine" when he had to put on a serious face while handing Endeavor a book with coded messages inside. He literally felt icky and thought "this is low even for me" just because he had to use a deadly expression so that Endeavor would get the gist.

And when the Commission made their "proposal" about this mission, Hawks' first reaction was to call them out on their B.S. for asking him to put civilian lives at risk. He even admitted that he was feeling bad about sending Tokoyami away while talking to Deku, Shoto, and Bakugo. Hawks felt guilty about not being able to spend more time with his student, but considering that things with the MLA were starting to get riskier, and that Hawks literally handed Endeavor a book with a coded message inside about an uprising 2 seconds later, I can see why he wouldn't want to risk Tokoyami being around him. The fact that the camera's on Hawks' wings caught his interactions with Endeavor & the students also makes the creep‐factor worse. The MLA saw everything AND talked about it in a meeting later. Continuing to train with Tokoyami would put him at risk.

I love the complexity of Hawks' character, he's incredibly intelligent, logical, and intuitive. But at the same time throughout this entire mission his heart is constantly battling with his mind. Even when he knows he has to grit his teeth and do something shifty, his heart never fails to put up a fight with his logistics. Honestly it's been a pattern for a while that Hawks' sympathy always "Trips him up" in some way, so idk why I didn't see it coming around to bite him in the ass later.

(Tbh it's hard for me to see Hawks as a this super "Morally Gray" person that the fandom likes to paint him as because of a mission that he only spent 6 months on. I personally, kinda see Hawks as a "good person" who works for a "morally gray" agency. But that's a whole different meta)

Basically, Hawks getting attached to Twice wasn't a surprise. But considering how powerful Twice was, along with his role in the League's destructive plans (He was a lieutenant in one of the MLA's "Units") the discourse going on in Hawks' mind makes sense. By this point Hawks has already figured out all of the MLA's "Units" along with the three "bosses" that support the lieutenants of those "Units". It's noted that those "bosses" are extremely powerful and can match the strength of the heros as well. It took Hawks an entire month just to figure out all of the "Units" members. (I would show the panels explaining all of this but I'm at my photo limit)

All of these members were tasked to follow their lieutenants and bosses, and the plan was to attack all of Japans major cities at the same time. Once the cities were destroyed and chaos had set in, Redestro and feel good inc. Would distribute support items to the remaining citizens in the name of "self-defense". It would create a country full of discourse and destruction where Redestro and Feel good inc. Would rule from the shadows. But Shigiraki would be the main leader. He would become "king" and sit upon a "throne of rubble". (At least this was the MLA's plan, Shigiraki himself just kinda wants to destroy everything. But I suppose this would make things easier for him to do that.)

needless to say, the stakes have been upped excessively. But it took Hawks an entire month to gather this info.

This post is honestly just me marveling at what an M.V.P Hawks is

My guy literally only had 4 months to take down an entire terrorist organization for the inside-out. AND he was being monitored during that entire time. He figured out the MLA's intentions within the first month of being there. And it took him another full month to go into detail and figure out all the members, bosses, and lieutenants, for each of their "Units". Hawks even went as far as to immerse himself in the MLA's ideology, and he had in-depth discussions with the MLA's members. HELL HE EVEN FAKED HIS CO-WORKERS DEATH JUST TO GET IN.

AND HE PRETTY MUCH IMPROVISED ALL OF THIS SHIT!!! The original plan was to capture the Leauge when they were a small group! But by the time Hawks managed to infiltrate, The Leauge already had an army! They were a full-blown organization! And Hawks just kinda rolled with it??? He just kinda bullshitted his way through??

Like, "okay I'm now apart of an army I guess. The Leauge is now an entire organization and they're planning on destroying Japan in March. Let's see how this goes. I'll just have to make this work"???

LIKE HOW THE FUCK IS HE NOT DEAD! WHAT A FUCKING MADLAD

[headgehug]

So the Gang has done a lot of things, and they don't really know shame, do they?

However, someone wants them to commit an actual murder, and to motivate them, they threaten them with their most shameful secret.

What secret would each of the gang members kill for?

This can be as silly or serious as you're inclined.

omg I'm so bad at sunny meta so I'm going to be dumb and silly <3 this is a fun ask though

Dennis: well it's canon that maureen paid him basically to let her lick him right? and he definitely enjoyed that right. I think sometimes he walks around his apartment and catches himself meowing just casually to himself. and then realizes what he's done and has to sit down and have a good long think about what's happening to him.

Mac: he has, at times, heard Dennis meowing. Dennis has asked if Mac heard anything weird. Mac has denied it. however, Mac did accidentally slip it into a confession once. if that priest ever had reason to blackmail Mac you bet he would do anything to hide the fact that He Knows.

Dee: high school Maureen was sweet enough to hang out with the aluminum monster from time to time (it didn't hurt that she had a crush on the monsters brother and the two were loaded). the girls would do each other's makeup and, sometimes, would be silly and eyeliner pen cat whiskers would ensue. Dee feels guilty for possibly encouraging this catgirl behavior from a young age.

Frank: being an excellent business man and a horrible father, Frank had contacted Maureen and said that she could probably humiliate Dennis by trading licks for debt write-offs. frank of course likes this idea, because frank cuts dennis' paychecks, and he can cook the books enough that Maureen's alimony deductions go straight into his pocket.

Charlie: charlie has been known to hide in Dennis and Mac's apartment and meow to fuck with Dennis, who thinks he's the one subconsciously doing it.

[beevean]

I do not understand how everyone is so happy.

(Sorry in advance for my broken english)

Because for them, The "Meta Era" (wtf is this nonsensical name) removed Sonic "heart & soul", that everything in the 2000 era was "good" bc muh dark, mature & ambition, that apparently only the current era has cheesy/cringy lines despite previous era being guilty of these too and how IDW Sonic is the last "good writing" etc...

TL DR : They are biased.

(Sorry for the lil rant, I loss my excitement for Frontiers after learning that flynn is the writer & read the synopsis)

Yeah, I know. I've read many "the important thing is that the Pontaff era has ended" comments.

Look, I get it. The 2010s games were very light in plot and characterization, and the humor was subpar. When Forces tried to be more serious (note that it wasn't actually written by Pontaff though), it was hard to take seriously. I understand that fans wanted thing to go back.

But this ain't it chief lol. I trust Pontaff with Sonic and Eggman much more than I trust Flynn. Their Eggman is phenomenal, for one - how could people get tired of him being the main antagonist?? He's clever, he's resourceful, he's funny, he's determined, I started loving him since Colors and I never stopped since then. Their Sonic... sure, it wasn't perfect, in Colors he was a bit of a cocky dudebro, and in Generations and Forces he didn't have much characterization, but fuck you I'll always defend his portrayal in Lost World. He failed, not because of a dumb reason like "lol imma pretend metal sonic can be redeemed", but because of his genuine, long established flaw of acting before thinking! He felt guilty about it! He was angry and aggressive against the Zeti for kidnapping Tails! He was miserable that his one mistake lead to the apparent dead of Eggman and all his friends!

Lost World Sonic, written by Pontaff, is a much better Sonic than this idiot written by Ian Flynn:

Also, newflash: I'm a huge Adventure/Dark Age fan, but not everything that happened between 1998 and 2008 was great guys. Eggman being a dumbass who always tried to bite more than he could chew was one of the things that I was happy that it was abandoned in the 2000s.

This is what happens when dumb memes like the one about villains in the Adventure era being cool monsters instead of "just" Eggman get spread. We really going back to when the main antagonist since 1991 wasn't enough. Okay.

... I really hope this is another "the Sonic movie will suck because Gremlin Sonic" situation. I do. I wish I could be as hyped as y'all.

[mbti-notes]

I'm an isfj. I know someone with serious mental illness and I don't feel very compassionate when I hear about his life. I feel pity, I feel very helpless/powerless and angry, I feel guilty, or I feel uncomfortable and want to turn away coz it's scary that people's lives can go really badly. I feel really selfish being like that and I don't want to be this kind of person. How can I nurture more compassion?

Assuming typical brain development, you are born with the capacity to empathize. Empathy is an important part of human genetic history because we needed it for survival, specifically for successful cooperation. To work together well, we must understand each other well, we must support each other’s efforts well, and we must help each other contribute well. As with any raw, inborn capability, it’s up to you to develop it to its higher potential through the choices that you make. Your choices have decreased your ability to empathize. There are two common obstacles to overcome in the process of empathy development:

1) Egocentrism: People at low levels of ego development aren’t able to empathize because they aren’t able to recognize other people as subjects. Do you understand the difference between a subject and an object? Many people only know the difference in theory but can’t apply it. In English grammar, a subject is the “active” part of the sentence, e.g., the person who is doing something. By contrast, the object is the “passive” part of the sentence, e.g., the person who is having something done to them. This basic grammatical structure belies the framework that the mind uses to understand relationships in the world.

Everybody has their own experience, which means that your understanding of reality begins from your own personal vantage point - you see yourself as a subject, experiencing and doing things in the world. Your vantage point includes things like your self-concept, thoughts, feelings, ideas, beliefs, values, judgments, schemas, triggers, past experiences, etc. When you look out into the world through your vantage point, you don’t see the world as it is, rather, you merely see the world as it gets interpreted through the content of your vantage point. A simple example: When you look at a painting, what happens? All you see is a canvas with some colored paint smeared all over it? If that’s all you see, then you’re either not human or you don’t have a personality. No, for instance, as ISFJ, you see the colors and whether you like them, you see the image and how it makes you feel, you see the style and how it compares to the aesthetic styles that you’re already familiar with, and so on. 

The same principle holds true when you deal with people. You, the subject, acts upon the other person, the object, with the contents of your vantage point. You don’t see people as they really are but only as you want/expect/hope them to be - it’s all about you. For example: You think about how they make YOU feel, when in fact, they’re not purposely doing anything to make you feel anything. You think about who they remind YOU of, when in fact, they bear no relation to the people you’ve known before. You think about whether YOU are better/worse than them, when in fact, they are simply a person with strengths and weaknesses just like you. And so on.

There’s nothing wrong with having your own vantage point, as we all have every right to our own existence. However, the problem arises when you never learn or never acknowledge that there’s more to the world than your own vantage point, which means that you are, in essence, completely confined by it psychologically. In short, your vantage point gets in your way instead of aiding you. Egocentrism makes it difficult to empathize because you don’t really see people, rather, you only ever see aspects of yourself as you constantly project the contents of your vantage point onto them. This creates ego drama, as you are more concerned with your experience and how you’re reacting than what’s actually going on with the other person. When you’re not grasping the truth of someone, how can you know the most appropriate way to relate to them, comfort them, help them, or guide them, especially when their experience is very different from yours? You’ll be grasping at straws.

Therefore, empathy requires the ability to transcend egocentrism, essentially, to stop approaching the world as though your own experience is all there is (oblivious) or all that matters (narcissist). To have meta-awareness of your egocentrism and understand how it holds you back (in limiting your perception and distorting your judgment) is to create the space to choose differently, i.e., to refuse to be a slave to ego drama. When you finally wake up fully to the fact that you aren’t the center of the world but rather only one equal part of a greater whole, you will possess the humility that is necessary for empathy. Humility refers to the ability to put yourself into the right perspective. A genuinely humble person knows their rightful place because they are no longer a slave to the ego dramas that create craving for strength and superiority and/or fear of weakness and inferiority. Humility allows you to stop treating people like objects and respect them as subjects in their own right. In other words, their experience is just as important to them as yours is to you, and you are both fully equal in that respect, so you know to honor their existence, as you honor your own. This is the basis of the classic golden rule: do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

What does humility look like in real-life relationships? It looks like LISTENING. To be a good listener is to listen without all the biases, prejudices, and judgments of your ego dramas. Reasonable and sound judgment comes only AFTER you have collected all the facts, which requires listening - only then should you be trying to apply what you know to their experience. But you won’t be capable of listening well if your ego drama is always twisting the facts or if your ego drama always gets triggered every time you interact with someone. To truly hear someone is no small feat. Not everyone who talks about their struggles wants “help”. A lot of human problems arise from never feeling truly seen and heard. Therefore, to be a great friend is, first and foremost, to have the ability to see and hear someone and receive their experience without judgment. Once you are capable of listening empathetically, compassionate action naturally follows.

2) Poor Emotional Intelligence: I have already written about this, so you should read the articles provided. It’s obvious from your description that you have poor emotional intelligence. The development of emotional intelligence is correlated with the development of the F function, so you struggle with using Fe properly. Being confronted by your friend’s struggle with mental illness, your emotions get triggered, your ego dramas start playing out, and in the end, you are stuck in your own head trying to make sense of what’s happening. Your attention isn’t on your friend, is it? You’re not really listening.

It’s common for people who struggle with empathy to frame the problem as “me versus them” - either I protect my own experience or I surrender to theirs. This defensive attitude is rooted in egocentrism. There’s “me”, there’s “them”, and there’s “us”. When you are egocentric, all that really matters to you is "me”, and "they” are only important insofar as they impact you. In “me vs them” mentality, you don’t want to feel any negative disruptions from the outside world, so you close yourself off to emotional influence (a common symptom of Ti loop). By being defensive, you are directly hampering Fe development. Without healthy Fe, establishing a sense of “us” in a relationship is impossible, because the wall of defensive fear never allows anyone to actually reach you. But what about the other side of F dysfunction, such as the people pleasers of the world? They are also egocentric in that they only care about their craving for acceptance and affirmation - it is still ego drama all the same. People pleasers give the illusion of not caring about “me” to get what they want from “them”, but it is actually all about ME and getting them to like ME, not about “us”.

When you have poor emotional intelligence, you aren’t able to accept and resolve your own feelings and emotions, which results in them becoming self-inflicted obstacles - they get in the way of good judgment. Having good emotional intelligence means knowing how to put feelings and emotions into the right perspective, such that they inform you to make BETTER decisions. Resistance to your own emotional life means damaging your decision-making ability as well as resisting all the negative things out in the world. When you encounter negativity in someone else, it reflects back to you your own negativity, and thus begins your ego drama of fighting and trying to bury the negativity in yourself. You are at least aware enough to honestly describe what you feel when you encounter someone that triggers you, but you don’t have the ability to resolve those negative feelings.

One of the main problems of poor emotional intelligence is not being able to tell the difference between thoughts and feelings. Feelings are simple, all you have to do is say, “I feel sad” or “I feel guilty”. That’s it. That’s a feeling. Once you start to say more, once you start to talk about the feeling, then you’re having thoughts. Feelings need not become anything more than what they are, and they come and go like the wind. But thoughts are complicated because they are about analyzing, evaluating, believing, speculating, etc. Thoughts stick to you in the form of ideas and beliefs, and they impair your judgment when you’re not addressing the underlying negativity that creates them. People often try to think their feelings away (i.e. rationalization), which doesn’t resolve anything and even spins you out of control.

You say that you feel guilty when hearing about his suffering. If you feel guilty, then feel guilty. Do you believe that there’s something wrong with feeling guilty? Is it not normal to feel bad for having more than someone when you’re an empathetic person who hopes that everyone can find their happiness? You say that hearing your friend makes you feel uncomfortable because you’re scared of confronting negativity. If you feel scared, then feel scared. Do you believe that there’s something wrong with feeling scared? Is it not normal to feel scared when imagining negative things that could threaten your survival? Why do you view feelings as abnormal or as something to be banished out of yourself? It’s a form of self-loathing.

From these two examples, do you understand that it is your own inability to accept yourself and your feelings that is the root of the problem? As SJ, it is typical to be more concerned with being “proper” than being real, so you consistently deny the truth about yourself because you don’t want to see the many ways that you are “improper”. Resisting your negative feelings and the truth that they reveal about your impropriety only feeds the negativity as you start judging yourself harshly, calling yourself “selfish”, thus your negativity escalates into ego drama and throws you for a loop. By contrast, if you were to simply allow your feelings to inform you about the truth of what’s happening with you and accept that truth gracefully, there would be no need for negative feelings to turn into a big ego drama. 

In the history of psychology, the humanist psychologist Carl Rogers was perhaps best known for his ability to empathize very deeply. He said: “If I let myself really understand another person, I might be changed by that understanding. And we all fear change. So as I say, it is not an easy thing to permit oneself to understand an individual.” 

If you fear change, if you fear your heart being disrupted, if you fear confronting what is strange and unknown to you, if you are easily threatened by difference or negativity, if you fear feeling the heavy moral responsibility of helping someone in need, then you will fear the act of empathizing with people, because they may, at any moment, say/do something that turns your world upside-down. It is that fear which keeps you closed off and stuck within yourself, refusing to empathize when you clearly have the ability to empathize. It’s up to you to acknowledge the fear, accept it, and let it go. Until you make that conscious choice, you are merely stuck on your side of the wall, never able to truly see past it. Only by letting someone into your world, being emotionally strong enough to feel touched without feeling undone, can you establish a connection with them. Once you’re connected to someone emotionally, compassion comes easily (and that is the basis of having a healthy F function). 

[zozophoenixxx]

Friendly reminders about The Flash⚡️

Things I had forgotten or little details I just noticed on my rewatch, maybe even Unpopular Opinions 🤭👀

✨Season 4✨

Even though this was honestly one of my least favorite seasons it was pretty interesting to watch and it had some pretty cool, badass and hilarious scenes lmao

Ok but the intro on the first episode was kinda cool

Cisco, wally and Joe working together... we stan 🙌🏼

Also the new star labs tables and tech make it look pretty cool

Samuroid, Kilg%re, Hazard, Amunet Black, T•h•e W•e•e•p•e•r, Black Bison, The Thinker, Bᵣₐᵢₙₛₜₒᵣₘ, 千卂ㄥㄥㄖㄩㄒ, Prank and Trickster Jr., Dwarfstar, m̾e̾l̾t̾i̾n̾g̾ ̾p̾o̾i̾n̾t̾, Null, The folded man

Ramsey Deacon aka Kilg%re

Rebecca Sharpe (Becky) aka Hazard

Ralph Dibny aka the elongated man

T•h•e W•e•e•p•e•r

Mina Chaytan aka Black Bison

Dominic Lance aka Bᵣₐᵢₙₛₜₒᵣₘ

Neil Borman aka 千卂ㄥㄥㄖㄩㄒ

Sylbert Rundine aka Dwarfstar

Izzy Bowen

Matthew Kim aka m̾e̾l̾t̾i̾n̾g̾ ̾p̾o̾i̾n̾t̾

Janet Petty aka Null

Edwin Gauss aka the folded man

Wally can speak Japanese😂

Joe being able to forgive Caitlin after what she did is amazing I love them 🥺

West-Allen kiss count (approximately): 46 😘

Cisco being upset because he was at the "doghouse" in ep2 is hilarious

"Rule number 1, when a girl say it's fine, it's not fine" i- I'd be happy with Cisco as my boyfriend

Gypsy's gorgeous bro 🤩

Ok i'm sorry but that "we are the flash" bothers me

Not Cisco, Barry, and Caitlin playing laser tag... AGAINST KIDS😂💀 And Cisco really went "you have failed this city" I love them (ep3)

Jesse just broke up with Wally... With a…

Breakup cube i-

HARRY IS SO AWKWARD

Joe being lost or done with everything going on around him is hilarious, and he also looked so sad when Cecile asked him to sell the house

Iris and Barry really would've gotten married out of the blue if it hadn't been for Kevin (the lil boy in ep3) LMAOOO

This boy really used cinnamon incense on purpose when the father was allergic to it and just went :) ┐(´ー｀)┌

"no need to shame the little boy" I-

We love Barry defending little kids 🥺

I liked Cisco's shirt in this episode

Haikus are easy

But sometimes they don't make sense

Refrigerator

Not Wally leaving 🥺😩

BAHHAHHSXHAHSGHASGAH Joe's reaction when Cecile told him she was pregnant

OMG just realized that in the beginning of ep4 when Cisco and Gypsy are making out on Cisco's bed that… BRO I-

After Cisco asked Gypsy what her real name was she went to the bathroom and he stayed in bed but went to look for something in the little night table… that something was probably a condom… Y'ALL WHAT BAHBSAHBSHAS

Ralph Dibny used to be a dirty cop, I had Completely forgotten about this man

I just noticed that every time that Barry goes into a new room he looks around and i guess he tries to grasp as much information of it as possible and it's kinda cute

I like how Breacher always has a serious face but when Gypsy talks to him he smiles 🥺

CISKY KABDjahdHAHDSH

Also Breacher being Danny Trejo (Machete) from Spy Kids

"Good people don't destroy lives and call it noble"

Gypsy's real name is Cynthia and Breacher's Josh

Girl Night's out was an awesome episode, I mean we got to see the girls working together, Felicity, Drunk Barry and Cecile going #feminism it's just great

Amunet was kinda funny lmao Annoying but funny lol

BAHSHAHHA that scene when they get mugged by the guy that try to mugged Barry in s1 is hilariousss (ep6)

Ok but Black Bison (Mina) was right like why are things that belong to people that are still here in a museum?

Uff istg I hate Marlize sm like she's so manipulative and she just slapped Barry like bro u know ur guilty he's just doing his job ugh, I know she becomes good at the end but still 😤🙄

Harry and Caitlin 🥺

I love how Cisco's powers improved throughout the seasons. Like at the beginning he needed his goggles to vibe and now he just did it without them.

Bro even tho Amunet is evil she really just encouraged Caitlin and let her know that she is amazing for her, not only for killer frost.

I like Iris and Caitlin's friendship

The fact that she decided to go after Caitlin, instead of Barry shows how good of a leader she is

"those white girl dreads came straight from the 90s" BAHSHAHHA I love Cisco

Bro no wth I only saw Dominic for one episode and I already loved him 🥺

UGHHHH He didn't do anything this is not fair it makes me so upset like it was so infuriating to see him go through trial for something he didn't do🥺

Ig that's what he felt like when his dad-

I-

Noooooo

Caitlin holding Iris's hand during trial 🥺

Ralph really protected Joe and prevented him from basically destroying his life by planting fake evidence on Marlize's shoes

Ok but I love 千卂ㄥㄥㄖㄩㄒ's episode because I think it's like the first time that we get to see Killer Frost fighting alongside them 🥺

They really helped Caitlin turn into Killer Frost with... puppies 🥺😂❤️

Bro the amount of people that are in jail for crimes they didn't commit makes me so upset

And the fact that he got the same cell as his dad 🤌🏼😩

"I'm the fastest mop alive" I love how even when he's in prison he's still finds a way to smile or make Iris smile i-

Zoey Clark was James Jesse's girlfriend and Axel Walker's mother.

Ralph's first superhero name was stretchy man

Lexi La Roche was Caitlin's childhood bully

Omg just saw Nora for the first time in s4 ehhh actually probably not the first time since I think she appeared in the crossover but I skipped that episode so oh well 😂

She's so awkward- her Barry is showing lmaoooo

OMG I love this, Cecile just found out she can read minds lmaooo

JOE'S FACE BAHSHHHAHAHA

SHE'S A TELEPATH

BULBASAUR BAHAHAHAHAHA

Big Sir's real name is Dave and i-🥺

BARRY'S A CHEATER ABSHAHAHH he cheated on poker lmaooo

Cecile would definitely be me if I had powers

Harry's actually pretty insecure

Mini Ralph and Mini Cisco are hilarious

I will forever love Big Sir like 🥺

The fact that he did get his happy ending 🥺☺️❤️

Bro I felt so bad when the bus metas were almost free and Devoe took them 🥺

I'm ngl I'd love to get a pep talk from killer frost

OMG THATS WHY HE NEEDED T•h•e W•e•e•p•e•r i never really understood why he needed him but it was to keep Marlize in love

BAHSHAHHA I love Cisco "Ralph I love you but you sleep on a futon" (a damp futon)

AND IRIS "you nasty" JAHSHAHA

Ok but I love Izzy Bowen's energy, she reminds me of Laurel sm

I love how Harry calls Cecile- DA Cecile Horton

The Flash s4:E14 "Subject 9" minute 12:14 - Cisco yelling "Iris" with the voice Crack is the most hilarious thing I've seen today lmaoo

Just realized that the first time we saw Izzy Bowen she was singing Somethin' Bad which was probably foreshadowing what was going to happen with her character

Bro izzy🥺

"AH SON OF A BREACH" BAHSHAHHA

Iris being a speedster is kinda cool and I like that her lightning is purple :)💜⚡️

Cisco just saved Iris 🥺

Poor Cisco, Harry just destroyed his little airplane thingie he was working on because he was looking for his thinking cap that Joe had because Harry was getting addicted to it

And Joe noticed because Harry had the same symptoms as Francine did 🥺

Bro that scene in ep18 where Marlize and Iris are fighting is pretty badass, especially when Iris basically stabs herself to get rid of Marlize or when Joe makes it into the Cortex with the Samuroid's head in a pole lmaooo😂

Ralph and Killer Frost 🥺

I love Snart from Earth-X

Bro no I love Cisco and Gypsy I cried when they broke up 🥺

Amunet's real name is Leslie Jocoy

Diggle throwing up after running with Barry every single time is hilarious😂

I love it when Cecile inhabits other people's minds right when she's about to give birth BAHSHAHHA SHE REALLY IMPERSONATED JOE PERFECTLY

Joe and Cecile baby's name is Jenna Marie West🥺☺️

This house is bitchin' BAHAHAHA I hated this cliffhanger like I loved it bc it wasn't that bad but it was yk?😂

[the-blue-fairie]

Hi, just wanted to say I LOVE all of your metas/analyses. Especially the last one about Agnarr, Iduna and trolls. And about trolls - I haven't found many posts concerning them. Would you please elaborate a bit? How do you think the sisters' attitude towards them looked like from the time they were 5/8 til 18/21? Did Anna tell Elsa about her and Kristoff's visit in the valley? Did Elsa tell Anna about what happened when they were kids? What's Kristoff's attitude? They are his family, but they're also guilty of... well, much, in a way. Would Kristoff treat them/behave differently after learning the truth? Did he remember what happened in the past? Did Anna get her memories back? Would the girls want answers? How could their visit in the valley look like? What can be excuses for Pabbie's behavior? Please feel free any theories/thoughts that come to your mind, I'm dying to know everyone's thoughts and ideas on trolls!

To be honest, I feel like the trolls are the most inconsistently-written characters in the first film and so they end up being whatever the plot needs them to be depending on the scene, regardless of whether those scenes contradict.

When we see them at the beginning of Frozen, they serve the role of “mysterious magical beings”/wise mages who move the plot forward by giving advice that sounds wise and predicting that, “Fear will be your enemy” and so forth. They help to further the plot and their words are deliberately vague so that the writers can imply a double-meaning: Other people’s fear could be Elsa’s enemy, but also Elsa’s own fear.

But of course, that then raises the question: why don’t the trolls clarify that? Why do they speak so cryptically? In the moment, viewers don’t question it because “wise magical beings who speak cryptically to impart wisdom” is a common trope and so, if these magical beings speak cryptically, it doesn’t seem like a problem. Maybe they just do that because they’re mysterious and magical and distant and wise, right?

BUT then, we have more scenes with them later in the movie and those scenes show the audience that the trolls aren’t just distant and cryptic because they’re “just like that.” In fact, they’re perfectly capable of speaking straightforwardly - which raises the question, Why didn’t they clarify to Agnarr and Iduna what they were saying? Of course, they didn’t clarify because the movie wanted the double-meaning to be an “aha!” moment for viewers later on, but that still creates a scenario where Agnarr lays out a plan that, from the get-go, seems to have negative implications (“...we'll lock the gates, we'll reduce the staff, we will limit her contact with people, and keep her powers hidden from everyone... including Anna”) and then never shows the trolls going, “Hey, wait up, this could go very wrong very fast. That seems like a recipe for her growing ashamed of herself.” The trolls could have clarified things to Agnarr and Iduna, could have spoken more clearly to Elsa... but they didn’t.

Speaking of the way Pabbie talks to Elsa, it seems incredibly tactless to tell an impressionable child that, “Yes, there’s beauty in your powers, but ALSO GREAT DANGER!” and then show a vision of figures converging on her, either like a mob or like manifestations of her inner fear consuming her. If you don’t want this little girl to be scared or ashamed of herself, don’t approach the matter like that. And Pabbie and the other trolls can clearly see how terrified Elsa looks after seeing the vision - and yet none of them try to comfort Elsa in a less distant or aloof way - not even Bulda, who is shown to have a warm demeanor with Kristoff when they meet.

Don’t tell me they couldn’t understand what their words could lead to for Elsa - or for her parents. You don’t see a child look like this...

...and bury her face against her father and not realize your words and ominous-looking lightshow could scar her. 

Again, the trolls’ aloofness and distance makes sense if we only look at them within the context of their first scene where they serve as the standard “cryptic mystical beings.” But when future scenes show that they’re not just cryptic and aloof because they are mysterious beings, their actions don’t make sense.

 The trolls are referenced again when Kristoff mentions his friends who are “love experts” and, while I’d argue that true love experts should know a little better how to comfort an obviously scared child and her family, this second reference doesn’t seem too contradictory to what we know. If, from the first scene, we interpret the trolls as aloof and wise, then it would make sense that they would teach Kristoff to assess a situation from some degree of distance and be level-headed about things... as Kristoff seems to be doing when he discusses matters of love with Anna. When he brings up his “friends who are love experts,” he does so as a means of reinforcing his point, so this suggests the trolls share his perspective about not leaping into things.

BUT THEN Fixer-Upper happens and the trolls are ALL about leaping into things and jumping to conclusions without clarification. And look - I like Fixer Upper. Its core message is sweet and it gives me Anna and Kristoff in troll wedding-attire, but it presents the trolls as more akin to Anna’s perspective on love and leaping into things than Kristoff’s. Even when Pabbie shows up and the scene takes a more serious turn, the trolls aren’t meditating on the various forms of love - even though they are supposedly “love experts” but jumping to, “A True Love’s Kiss, perhaps?”

And again, I know WHY the film is written in this way. It’s building to its twist and you can’t give away the game too soon. But the behavior of Bulda and others seems at odds with Kristoff’s level-headedness, even as he earlier in the film ascribes that level-headedness to their tutelage.

And the trolls straightforwardness in their speech feels at odds with Pabbie’s cryptic tones earlier. Even if we assume, “Well, maybe Pabbie is just like that because he’s the more serious one,” it doesn’t explain why Bulda or any of the others wouldn’t try to find some way to reassure little Elsa or talk about the obvious issues with Agnarr’s plan.

So... the trolls basically serve as “whatever the first film needs them to be in that moment.” They’re aloof cryptic mystical beings. Then they’re a means Kristoff uses to justify the sensibility of his argument. Then they’re overly energetic and hyper and not cryptic at all.

And if you suggest, “Well, maybe they were aloof and cryptic initially because they were talking to a king and queen in a serious situation,” that cryptic-ness only made matters worse. Telling a terrified child that she was dangerous only made matters worse. And, if you say that, “Well, they didn’t mean to say that Elsa was dangerous, only that fear was dangerous,” then they chose their words terribly even though they knew this would influence the course of events for years and that only made matters worse, when future scenes show they were perfectly capable of clarifying matters. And characters who are supposed to be so wise and loving - as evidenced by how Kristoff turned out and their loving relationship with him - should have a basic understanding from looking at a little girl’s horrified face that their words matter and are, in the very moment, having a dramatic negative effect.

I don’t know exactly what the sisters’ attitudes towards this turn of events would be because it doesn’t really come up in the films or shorts. Elsa tells Anna about what happened when they were kids in the musical, and it makes sense that Anna would tell Elsa about her and Kristoff’s visit to the Valley, but that’s the thing. The films and shorts and even the musical don’t really... talk about the complicatedness of what happened on that night that changed the royal family of Arendelle’s lives forever. The films don’t really... hold Pabbie to account or hold the other trolls to account. We’re just supposed to see them as wisely benevolent.

But the thing is, intentionally or not, the prologue of the first film wrote a much more complicated narrative - and the trolls, to me, feel more culpable than Agnarr and Iduna because they are the ones who are even advising the adults.

But also it’s hard to talk about culpability because... the trolls are just so inconsistently written. At least Agnarr and Iduna have a common through-line across both films - loving parents who wanted to protect their children and made mistakes in the process. That’s at least cohesive, even if I feel the films don’t hold them accountable for how their actions influenced their daughters.

But the trolls are more haphazard.