#like I'll be talking abt something
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"Don't get me started on X" <- person who has never heard of nor formed an opinion on X
#I do this so much though#like I'll be talking abt something#my friend will bring up something else that they find relevant#I will have no idea what it is but still 'Dont get me started about X' it's free#it sparks joy
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hyperfixations are so crazy because you never know whether this next thing you like is going to be a short-term interest or if it's going to change your entire life forever
#thats how it's been for me atleast#it's like flipping a coin every time i get into something new#this was abt splatoon btw lol#anyways it's unlike me to textpost on main but i felt like sharing my thoughts so. heeey#maybe i'll talk here more often idk
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of all the star wars movies, which of them do y'all 1) enjoy the most 2) consider the best quality and 3) think you've rewatched the most. add your answers in the reblogs or replies, i'm genuinely curious how much of an overlap there is within everyone's three answers. mine don't overlap at all! they're revenge of the sith, empire strikes back, and the force awakens :^)
#len speaks#star wars#revenge of the sith#empire strikes back#the force awakens#not tagging more films than that bc i cant b bothered. incoming tag ramble ahead bc i have sw brainrot rn and im making it everyones prob❤️#i rlly struggled 2 remember if id watched tfa or aotc more. i went w/ tfa bc it was formative to me as a teen and ive seen it probably 6ish#times? whereas aotc was the first sw movie i remember (specifically the scene of obiwan serving c*nt in the bar lmao) but i've only seen it#for sure 4.5 and maybe 5.5 times. the .5 is from when i got bored after obi-wan's scene ended and ran off to go play in the mud or smthn 😭#i'm sure tfa will eventually get surpassed in number of rewatches by aotc and rots bc i don't fw the direction of the ST but that's my#current ballpark estimate of my total number of rewatches#as an adult tho if i just wanna watch a star war i'll go with aotc bc it's fun and ends semihappily and i can turn my brain off for the#spinny lightsabers. it's great background noise or for if you're sick or whatever. rots on the other hand? i won't talk through that unless#i'm quoting it with my brother and i am LOCKED IN 100% entirely entranced by it all#i almost picked rogue one for the best quality answer but i think the character writing is weaker and the facial cgi is creepy. esb beats#it by a hair imho bc of that. the vader hallway scene goes hard tho!!!#also i'm not covering shows or games or books or anything else in this post - simply the films. might ask abt shows later but that might#also give me hives bc so many of the shows suck ass and i don't rlly want ppl extolling the virtues of t.bb in my notes 💀#and yes i do think one's enjoyment and one's opinion of quality are two things that often overlap. but sometimes you just like something#bad and that's awesome. like rots is the best of the prequels by a large margin and i adore the opening and characters and many of the#scenes but that doesn't mean it's the best star wars has to offer ykwim? it's my specialest most favoritest sw movie but that doesn't blind#me to the dialogue lmfaooo
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happy birthday you weird little freak. it's finals season so i can't afford to make a full drawing for u rn but i can at least give you your favorite thing in the world
bonus drawing + og imgs under the cut
cannot believe that crucified!komaeda is the cuntiest i've ever drawn him. call it divine inspiration
#martzipan#nagito komaeda#hajime hinata#komahina#komaeda doesn't like sweets. so i gave him something savory in place of a cake <3#the first time i tried to draw these i started giggling too hard to actually get anything done#the second time i tried to draw these i had a realization mid-drawing that i'm getting an art degree#i'm gonna be a professional artist. i'm gonna make art for a living#and i'm using it for this. <3#also crucified!komaeda happened bc my friends and i were talking abt mbti types#and i found out komaeda's. and i learned he shares a personality type with some WILD figures. you should look it up he's an infj#jesus is one of them#and immediately they were like 'you should draw komaeda on the cross'#and i was like 'i've thought about it and you just made it necessary'#and then i made it. and it was beautiful#maybe i'll give komaeda an actual birthday drawing sometime after finals are over. but for now this is what he gets#i'm finally hyperfixed on dr in time for a kmda birthday and then bam. finals week. girl ur luck cycle is affecting ME too#anyways. these are the bestworst things i’ve ever drawn and maybe ever will draw#hinata ended up darker than how i actually headcanon him but it’s ok. i’d rather him be darker than lighter
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why is everyone suddenly jackdoctor posting. like i'm not complaining i've just been indescribably sick over that entire storyline for years so it's funny to see it picking up steam again
#UTOPIA IS UP NEXT IN MY REWATCH BRO I WILL LITERALLY DIE 😅#and i keep seeing that utopia clip someone posted that i still can't hit play on like oh my GODD you want me to die#the way it's like. already batshit crazy if you just watch dr who but then here i am having#consumed literally hundreds of hours of extra content and soso deeply ill#YOU GUYS DON'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT.... HHNNHNYJTNJFHFHFHFHDHB#so glad i get to force THREE of my friends to watch t.orchwood with me coz I#never got to talk abt it before and now I'll finally be unleashed. lordddddd#like ohhmy god it's not even like... like i dont SHIP them i dont think i ship anything in dw#but what an incredible story especially after you get All of jack's side of it. hough#i should whip up a list or a watching/listening order or something the catalogue of dweu in#my head has to be of SOME use other than making 3 specific ppl sit through it with me....#doctor who#jackdoctor#jack harkness#trying to start a tagging system for dw after 7 years on tumblr is gonna bite me in the ass
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I dont care about the odds of womens liberation happening because I dont solely focus on "winning" per se. That's not to say I dont want or aim towards it but freedom isn't just about the end but the journey too. Cultivating a lifestyle as a single childfree woman is something bigger than me and something I hold onto to get me by.
One thing about conscious is that we all know we're going to die. This terrifies some; but in some cases it gives a purpose to existence. Death becomes a metric to measure the things that are worth it in life, things to dedicate life towards for fulfillment in existing. Whether the end goal actually comes to fruition or not is irrelevant because the hope and purpose carries you as you live.
To get by the hardships of life and inevitability of death: dedicate yourself to something bigger than you. Having a sense of purpose beyond yourself drives innovation & delivery. It's not just about how long you live but what you live (& are willing to die) for. This is how cults, religion, charity, activism, natalism etc affect people. It gives them a sense of purpose greater than themselves so they devote their lives to them even in extreme cases where it'd kill them. They suffer & work in the name of their cause.
Many women regret encountering feminism & seeing maIes for how evil they are but I dont. I see things more clearly & more importantly it's given me a purpose in life; something to orient how I carry myself as long as I live: To pour my energy into myself & other likeminded women, to live beyond serving a maIe, to trust myself & not let the claws of maIe supremacy sink into me, to be the subject of my life instead of the object, to know I'm ending the line of suffering and not giving maIes what they ultimately want - another soul in the chain to continue the suffering, etc. That's the direction I'm taking my life.
I'm saying all of this because with things like separatism, 4B etc if you're serious about it think about these things as something bigger than yourself let it be something that you devote yourself to that goes beyond you. In the end it isn't just about you, it's about the future children you're saving from experiencing the hurt & suffering of this world. For me, no matter what happens as long as I dont give birth before I die that's a W for me - when I die the suffering in my line ends with me. So that's how I see this as something bigger than myself, it's not just about me but my (potential) future offspring. And before anyone tells me about how there's good in this world; good isn't guaranteed but suffering is.
When you give yourself to something bigger than you you're able to commit to things for the greater good & not just doing things for the sake of it. I dont refuse to date, reproduce, wear makeup, etc to stick it to anybody; it's just freeing for me. I think the lack of seeing these things as something bigger than yourself is part of why many women struggle to commit to this or even think of the idea (there's obvs many reasons but I wont get into them to stay focused). I commonly to hear things "I'm not doing x for some fringe online movement" because they dont see a greater good, sense, or purpose to it so instead women will get in pro woman spaces demanding it caters to them & their existing habits rather than working within these spaces towards a goal greater than themselves compared to dating which is why they're willing to inconvenience & risk more in that regard.
This might sound extreme but many people whether they're aware of it or not have a purpose for themselves at some point & legacy they want to build to leave something behind or it fulfils them. For me the way I see all of this is that I want to succeed as a single childfree woman as my legacy. That's what I build towards. I occasionally ask myself that if I was to die now would my life & the things I did reflect what I believed in at the end of the day. Now obviously people have different motives & legacy aspirations which causes conflict (even with maIe supremacy it's about legacy which is why maIes live & die for it. It makes it easier for them to reproduce & steal labour from women to pass off as their own & that's something added to their legacy - something that lives beyond). Ofc not everyone gets remembered but in the grand scheme of things as I mentioned it's not about the end goal but the journey there.
The thing with fulfilment is that it is so strong if this thing wasn't there people likely wouldn't know what to do with themselves. Despite the criticisms of religion, part of why it's so powerful & popular is bc many people wouldn't know what to do without that framework shaping their lives. Something they can lean on in hard times, something that directs the way they go about their daily lives so people take it very seriously with its ups and downs as it gives them purpose & they'd be lost otherwise. Similar thing with patriarchy, if you remove the benefits it comes with; maIes wouldn't have a purpose to work towards & existence wouldn't be worth it for most of them. This is why many of them dont care about going on rampages even if it costs them their lives to uphold the system as they have nothing to live for out of maIe supremacy. A loss of those structures would be a net negative as they have to work harder for the same or less results.
For many women, romance is something that fulfils them & adds purpose to their lives (remember having purpose to something means you're willing to struggle for it). In my previous post I addressed the argument of how there'll be violence when women reject maIes en masse but even when women choose to date maIes the risk of violence is still there (which there's endless strategies on how to 'vet' and mitigate) but they still go for it because a having relationship is something bigger than themselves. These things fulfil them so much so that many women refuse to take maIes as they are & actively shut out news about their violence bc it'd make them hate them & they dont want to do that bc losing romance would be losing it all. It isn't just about them, they're looking for someone to explore, build, and create life with as it fulfils them so they'd be willing to take risks to find that. Hell even out of dating, many women will risk their lives & livelihood to advocate for maIes politically as they see the cause as greater than them.
I've provided examples to put this concept in context so for the more relevant part: as a single childfree woman where does this leave you? Find a sense of purpose & fulfilment to it. This is something that has to come from within for it to stick, a sentence I say isn't going to give you purpose bc you dont know me & I dont know you. To a degree, typical things that give people purpose & fulfilment are messages that have been instilled into them from childhood. As people grow & face challenges it's something they lean on and it works for them to get by life. Many religious people look to their creator when they're going through hard times in addition to everything else they do surrounding religion as they devote themselves to that. So having a purpose & sense of fulfilment is important bc when adversity inevitably comes up it will help you overcome it.
TLDR: We're always taking risks depending on what we find purpose & fulfilment in. These things tend to be bigger than ourselves. Find purpose and fulfilment to being a single childfree woman.
This is the final part of my series of posts about the popularity & rise of single childfree women:
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
#finally got this out lol this took a while because I had a lot going on in my personal life but it's been on my mind to get this finished#find purpose as a single childfree woman#so good luck to y'all & I hope more single childfree women find purpose to this. One thing I'll say is dont feel pressured to find purpose#fulfilment. Not everyone will find purpose but at the very least find a sense of fulfilment that isnt rooted in sumn like getting back at x#in the end this is something that should be fun it's not a punishment. Enjoy yourself ! Be happy with your life it should let you feel good#& add meaning to your life. Have this bc it will keep you strong through hard times. I personally see no alternative I will go down fightin#I refuse to continue an xys legacy through me. I reject the life where I'm a wife & mother in every dimension even if it means I go down#that's a risk I'm willing to take for freedom. You'll notice I talk abt myself a lot bc it's something that has to resonate with you.#It can inspire but ultimately this must grow within; good luck gyn.#female separatism#female separatist#4b#6b4t#single woman#childfree women
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and happy pride to these assholes. it's still june so i can technially still make that joke right
#the nemesis speaks#nemesis art#malevolent podcast#malevolent fanart#god i hate tagging for new fandoms yall scare me. im stopping there#anyway i have too many directors notes for this. ive developed such a vivid image of john in my head#but absolutely nothing for the dude with the actual physical body lol#idk just thinking abt the fact that the trader said ''two appear before me'' implying he could perceive john visually#but it's hard to wrap my head around like. a totally separate body that john doesn't appear consciously aware of himself#so: i think they are generally tied together. like this.#but anyway yeah. tattered/torn piece of something else. shattered crown. open hood implying a face behind it.#(yellow also has/had a mask and an unbroken crown it's symbolic™)#the stains on the cloak are blood btw! since injury/death so consistently brings these two closer together#(and the red symbolically brings the yellow closer to arthur's brown color scheme)#the blood on the CROWN is legally john's though. or. the king's more accurately.#the intact crown on the king himself pierces through the cloak like barbs#this is all a metaphysical representation and not Actual blood ofc but (gestures vaguely) you get it#i'm talking too much whatever it's very late i probably shouldn't even be posting this WHO CARES#tomorrow i will have my proper pc back and not be drawing on an ipad old enough to have a tumblr acct maybe i'll do something better then#fuck it hit post#mv liveblog#<- almost forgot
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Was gonna make a vent post talking abt how everything sucks but then something good happened so I'm okay now, I'm cured
#Still gonna vent a lil...#So things kinda sucks as of late for me#I have all these little problems. That on their own aren't that bad. But they just. keep piling up and become one big problem for me#One thing after the other. I am tired. Like emotionally. My mind is exhausted#At this point I keep thinking that something really bad is gonna happen#I try to be positive. I try to make all these problems not get to me#But man. It's kinda hard#Idk. I just don't know.#I just feel unlucky#Whatever. At least I still have my ability to draw. That's one of the most important things for me!#If I feel bad I'll just draw something. Maybe even for someone! I've been having fun drawing other ppls ocs :]#I feel better now btw. Sorry for the vent tho I actually don't like venting like this but also. if I don't talk abt this I'll explode.#So yeah. Hope everyone has a good day!
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Do you know what sort of role Soda’s gonna play in your AU? Like if Darry’s Elsa and Pony is like Anna is Soda just going to be the middle man between them again? Just taking on a whole new role or is he going to take an existing role?
hii!! i’m so sorry for the late reply!!
Soda is going to be a completely new character instead of taking on the role of a specific character from the movie. it’s hard to explain without revealing too much, but he’s essentially the bridge between Darry and Pony!
at the start of the story, Darry doesn’t shut out Soda nearly as much as he shuts out Pony. He’s mostly paranoid about being around Pony since he’s the one who got hit by Darry's ice powers. So up until the death of their parents, Soda gets along really well with both Darry and Pony seperately, though the two of them don't interact at all.
After the death of their parents, Darry begins shutting out Soda completely as well, and isolates himself from everyone up until the coronation. Especially the second part of the story is going to be quite different from the original, but I'm not 100% sure about the storyline and I don't want to reveal too much just yet <33
Tysm for the question!! I love talking abt this so much 😭 and once again I'm so sorry for the late reply, I had a lot of fun finally answering this aksjsjdjdjd
if anyone has any further questions abt the au, let me know :DD
#I keep talking abt not wanting to spoil too much. Like I'm producing a full ass movie or something 😭 like Harvey come on it's not that deep#anyways#harvey’s babbling#the outsiders musical#the outsiders broadway#the outsiders au#I'll add a tag for the au soon. I'm probably gonna do a poll on how to call it#Darrelsa?? Drelsa?? but both of that is too Darry-centric. Sigh.#sodapop curtis#darry curtis#ponyboy curtis#the outsiders but they’re frozen
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i don't remember how i stumbled across this interview but i've never seen anyone mention it so i'm dropping it here <3 it's a little dated but still like super valuable and a decently in depth look at higuchi-sensei's previous works and how she works and thinks as a mangaka... personally i think it's the most i've ever learned from an interview of hers. super interesting stuff :0)
#oofuri#higuchi asa#yuku tokoro#yasashii watashi#kazoku no sorekara#tw: suicide mention#and maybe i did jump out of my chair at the yuku tokoro mention. but i'll never tell#i love how she says basically u can't truly know a character without getting to know their family as well. a story progresses best this way#that's why she draws everyone's parents and siblings so thoughtfully in her work#wow and also.#that line abt how - after yasashii watashi - she received a letter from a fan saying it'd helped dissuade them from taking their own life?#and i think she says: 'and I remember thinking that maybe I drew this work because I wanted this answer' (?????)#very much used a translation app but#i respect her so much#pls skim if you'd like#ok one more. the line at the very end ->#'when they [abe & mihashi] met they both had their complexes. but after spending 3yrs together theyll arrive at....?'#ok well. boyfriendhood. next question.#she's so embarrassed at how long oofuri is taking her wkjakdjkjsd queen lift ur head...#i think she says something like 'homosexuality alcoholism and physical disabilities are all subjects I wanted to depict but it might be -#misleading to say im attracted to them' abt yuku tokoro. which i think is epic bc i take it to mean like. she wants to#represent these themes w/o fetishizing them#but she drew yuku tokoro first AND THEN had to go looking 'around the world' for somewhere to publish it bc it wasn't 'commercial'#so she just wanted to write it...........her mind....................... ok my god i could talk abt this forever
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Persona 5/ Persona 5 royal spoilers ahead!
Okay so I did this WIP a while back that I discontinued but I'm still going insane about the meaning of it and also the symbolism of masks in this game and also akeshu parrallels so I need to Yap abt them
Yap session under the cut!
The symbolism of masks in this game drives my so batshit insane actually. Like. So often we see in media that people are finally free when they take their mask off (both metaphorically and literally) but in this game we see people's true forms when they put one ON.
Like the palaces are where we see people's true faces and desires. It's the place where no one can hide who they are. And yet it's one one place where you wear a physical mask and disguise and have to conceal who you are.
I could (and will at some point) write an entire essay about that but rn it's akeshu hours
Because Joker is arguably the best example of that, he becomes alive in the palaces, where his face his hidden. It's his freedom
Versus Akechi
The first time we see Akechi show his true form to Joker (and the player) is in what is percieved at the time as the real world. The entire time we work together in the palace, the place that shows who you are despite the mask you wear he hides who he is. It's only in the gritty real world that he reveals himself.
Joker in the real world is perceived (at least by people outside of his circle) as closed off and someone to be cautious around, he has a criminal record so he could be dangerous. The exact opposite of how he is in palaces, the centre of the team and a flame people are drawn towards
VERSUS AKECHI
In the real world he is a celebrity, he is loved, people are drawn to him. But in palaces he's cold and heartless, his words are cutting and he cares for no one, not hesitating to kill to achieve his goal
Opposites in every sense
THE ABSOLUTE PARALLELS IT DRIVES ME INSANEASHBANANSJAKSS
They were both ruined by the same man. They both ended up in their current predicament because of said man. They both had the potential to weild multiple personas. They both have the capability to lead. They are the exact same and yet the exact opposite
They don't need to lie awake at night and wonder what would they be like if their life had turned out slightly differently. They don't need to because they have each other. EVERYTIME THEY GO INTO A PALACE THEY SEE WHO THEY COULD'VE BEEN, THEY FIGHT WITH THAT PERSON SIDE BY SIDE EVERY NIGHT I'M GOING MAD
#THEY DRIVE ME UP THE WALL#THIS IS JUST ME SPITBALLING THERE'S SO MUCH MORE BUT I NEED TO WRITE IT UP PROPERLY AND TURN IT INTO SOMETHING COHERENT#I AM SHAKING YOU BY THE SHOULDERS LIKE A MADMAN THEY R SO ABSBSNSNSNSM#Every time someone makes a joke abt persona being nothing but a creepy dating sim an angel loses its wings.#I have my head in my hands#There's so much more to it and I could talk abt it and the themes it carries for hours#I need to talk with someone about it or I'm going to blow up. None of my irl friends play in I'm going into withdrawal for lack of being#Able to have conversations abt it#God it's so it's so#I need to write a more indepth thing but I needed to vomit this out before I went insane#This might not make any sense I'll go back and proofread in the morning#Absolutely no one here follow me for persona content but I'll be damned if that's gonna stop me talking abt them#these two drive me so insane they are the perfect mirrors I'm lying on the floor rolling around#Sorry for the mile of tags I'll go back and edit this in the morning#Might delete idk I just needed to Yap#goro akechi#joker persona 5#persona 5#persona 5 royal#akeshu#Yapadoodledoo: fandom edition
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ruthlessly deleting old 2021/2022 posts (not by me) from my dean studies tag like *click* un-incorporating that from my beliefs system! also the way SO many posts have me like ok uh-huh good aaand then say one completely wrong thing that loses me. it's so many posts.
#it's usually when they randomly drop some line of fanon. like saying dean has never admitted to being wrong in his life#or never expressed an emotion or been vulnerable or doesn't Talk About Feelings or is super duper RepressedTM#like i'm sorry. have you watched the show. oh and have you taken off the sammy POV goggles first?#bc this guy is always crying and being vulnerable and talking about his feelings. he is self-aware.#he may not always want to talk to sam abt things! but he sure does talk about things with other people#do i need to reblog the compilation posts AGAIN?#(also re: his sexualiy? AWARE. sorry i saw him flirt and be flustered by so many men. he knows how he feels.)#and then 'first time ever admitting to being wrong' this one came from a post abt dean's prayer in the trap#like i'm sorry but first of all. dean apologizes more than any other character on the show. there are hard numbers on this.#people have tracked this on spreadsheets. i think ilarual is one of them.#and often he is apologizing for things that aren't even his fault! but he still feels responsible for bc he's been made to feel that way#his whole life!!#other characters *cough samandcas *cough* apologizing Less doesn't mean they've Done less things wrong#it just means they're not owning up to it and brushing it under the rug. something both do frequently.#anyways. aside from apologies. dean also has no problem admitting he's wrong y'know when he's actually wrong#which is less often than you'd think bc he has pretty good instincts and intuition and often suspects things which turn out to be Right#but anyways. another thing abt the trap prayer is. i don't think cas Needed to be forgiven#i think dean was justified in feeling angry w cas over the circumstances leading to the Death of His Mother! totally normal grief response!#i think cas also understands dean to be someone who needs time to process and deal with his feelings (he says as much to jack)#however. despite me not think dean Needs to forgive cas. the thing is. with dean when it comes to cas the forgiveness is implicit#when he says /of course i forgive you/ and in the cut like /of course i wanted you to stay/ like. yes he was mad and dealing with grief#but also. yes cas was already forgiven even back then. he just needed Time to work through the feelings#anyways i think dean says he 'forgives' cas bc it's what CAS needed to hear to stop feeling guilty and dean gives him that closure#but i also think cas was already forgiven even in dean's anger. he wants him there always. i'd rather have you. we can fix this. etc etc#a lot of tags for a non-rebloggable post ajksdfs maybe i'll make these into a real post sometime#vic.txt#dean and feelings#so i can find this all again later
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a wild aether appears !! oh my gosh, he has a tiny smile while looking at you! this is such a rare sight! what do you do?! what have you done, even?! he may have forgotten he's supposed to be stoic! maybe you should like this post (🎔) for a cute inbox thingie so he can keep on smiling ! maybe !!!! or we could plot things !
#HELLO!!!!!!!#i'm kinda-ish back !#i made a new-ish icon border and psd for aefer bc i miss him so so much <333#maybe we could like. idk. plot or talk about or muses or something hahaha.........#i miss writing with u guys 👉///👈#also !! i'll make posts abt this later but. i haven't played genshin since arlecchino dropped ! orz#i also plan on oc-fying the heck out of aether (as u can see by his modded+edited lil icon)#❛ㅤ𓆩✦𓆪ㅤ:ㅤstarter call﹔ㅤㅤ/ㅤㅤthe cosmos call for you.
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lots of respect for ppl who don't post/talk abt certain oc things due to not wanting to spoil their own stuff, however i will not be doing that. by the time any of this stuff is finished it'll probably be different anyways
#i have this thing where i simultaneously cannot ever find the words to articulate my oc stuff and the inability to shut up about it#who the fuck knows if i'll actually finish it. i mean i'd love to. i WANT to but these are (for now) passion projects and i can't devote#myself to them full time so! i'll hand over the details#nothing wrong with not wanting to spoil things either i get it. i jsut talk a lot. esp if i'm excited abt smthin#actually now that i think abt it there are some ttw things i keep close to my chest#partially for spoiler things but also the canon of the story is so wildly different from what it has been that it is the one case where i#don't want to introduce something cool and neat only to have it scrapped later bc this blog is evidence that i have done that. many times#and thinking abt storytelling the way i imagine honeybee being told is nonlinear so at times it necessitates me 'spoiling' things from#p1 and p2 for instance to explain how they got to where they are in p3#i'm thinking a bit more and with ttw being horror i think the next time i get around to taking a solid jab at it i will actually be more#cagey about certain things. esp in regards to sanguine as a whole#but it's underbaked in the middle rn so. shrugs#i still also don't really mind spoilers in general so i don't give much of a shit abt spoiling my own stuff yknow?#good stories are good regardless of spoilers and my intention is to make good stories. not that i can be the one to judge that tho#but i like what i make and that's the really matters yeeeeeeeehaaaawwwwwww#rambles
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Sigh
#sometimes my guy friends mame me think ''yea some guys are actually cery soft and nice and cool and i like tjem''#and then sometimes a man will do something horrid and I'll remember why i ever had such hatred for them as a kid#anyway i dont hate ALL men#but man#i hate most of em imma be frank w yall#i hate the ones that cant take no for an answer#cuz tell me why i told tjis guy i wasn't interested like 20+ times and he jusy#kept talking#muffled screaming#it was such a nice day too 😭#we went to the river today and swam and it was awesome and he was our guide#and he looked p young so when we started goofing off i thought ''#cool new friend#ERRR#WRONGGGGG#screaming cryinh tjrowing up#he bought me food even tho i explicitly told him not to and then he complaiwd abt how i made him waste money after i rejected him for the#tenth time#i cant bro#anyway yea#people who don't understand what rejection is! explode#please#ruined my day#damn#tw vent#vent
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again and again i find myself lamenting that audio roleplay isn't taken more seriously by some people. like yeah, they often have a romantic element, and by nature they usually directly involve/address the listener- and i totally get that those things aren't to everyone's taste. no art or entertainment is universally appealing, and that's okay! but.. it still makes me a lil sad that the "cringe" reputation of asmr/audio rp precedes it. there's a whole lot of talent and creativity being poured into these audios by so many people that i feel goes unrecognized and/or disrespected simply due to the medium that the stories are being told through.
#this post brought to you by: me bingeing Sam & Darlin's entire storyline over the past few days and having a Lot of feelings abt it#asmr#audio roleplay#rp audio stuff#redacted audio#anyways i don't have a conclusion to this post. and i'm not Mad or Upset or anything i'm just thinkin' out loud#and i mean it's not like it doesn't get plenty of praise within its respective audience bc it does. at least for the more popular creators#but i feel it'll still always have the shadow of its cringe reputation looming over it#which makes it hard for some ppl to openly appreciate or share with others that aren't already fans of the medium#like do u know how many comments i've seen along the lines of 'this is great but i'd die if anyone knew i liked this kinda stuff' ?? :(#idk maybe i feel strongly about it bc i'm a self-insert fanfic writer. and i feel like the two have a lot in common. including a bad rep.#like. not every audio will be well-written or produced and neither will every fanfic. but that doesn't mean it's a less legitimate artform#and i'm lucky to have never (yet) received negative comments on my work. but that doesn't mean that it doesn't make me sigh when people-#-say shit like 'this reads like fanfiction' as a way of calling something bad. or other similar sentiments that make the same implication#and i wouldn't be surprised if audio creators feel the same way when they encounter certain comments or statements#like. those YT videos where ppl will 'try bf asmr for the first time' or whatever and it's just 20 mins of cringing and over-reacting? eugh#tbf i haven't watched many bc why do that to myself. so Maybe there's some that are respectful but still. imagine getting roasted like that#and yes yes i know that by posting stuff online you're inadvertently sighing up to be criticized by Anyone but still. man. i dunno#i'm going on a tangent but my point is. i'm grateful for the creators that still make their art in spite of the public's perception of it#bc some of the most impactful emotional experiences i've ever gained from fiction took place in audio rp and i'm so serious abt that.#anyways. this post almost feels like i'm 'making up a person to be mad at' but i promise it's not that serious i'm just yapping. mostly.#certainly not trying to start any kind of debate or anything either i just have a lot of fixation-induced energy and nowhere to put it#this is Eric's fault (/lh) for cooking Sam up in a lab catered exactly to my taste and making Darlin' waaaaay too painfully relatable#but it's also My fault for bingeing the Inversion /and/ the Quinn arc /and/ the Summit all within a couple days. but i can't help myself#feels like i've run an emotional marathon. triathlon. The Emotional Olympics if u will. i'm feeling Everything#who knew that beating the shit out of ur fictional abuser could feel so goddamn cathartic! it's a nice replacement when u can't do it irl#anyways i'm off on a tangent again. thanks for coming to my TED Talk i'm gonna crawl back in my hole now#actually i'm gonna go relisten to a few audios. as Research for my Sam & Darlin' playlist as well as a post i'll be making about it soon#u Know i've got it bad when i not only make a playlist but start Posting on here about the songs that remind me of them. i'm cooked guys.
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