#like I’ve done all the measurements I really am a size small I’m five feet tall and just not that big

[just-rogi]

Coming to the realization that my mother doesn’t know what size clothes I am… I tell her over and over agin I’m a size small, I’m a small person, I wear size six pants and small tops

… and she keeps buying me large clothes that I end up swimming in because she can’t wrap her head around the fact that I lost a lot of weight like five years ago

[herstroywritten]

Magix Inn: One bed, one shirt, two idiots in love

OK. Confession time: I LOOOVE tropes. All of them. The oh I’m so cold and I don't have a jacket, so you gave me yours. Oh no, we’re paired together and I don’t like that. Oh look, we have to stay in this hotel together and (*cure shocked face*) there’s only one bed! All of it. Like, ALL of it. And when it’s done well... Ughhh, my heart can barely stand it. (If you want an A+++ example of it, go ahead and read Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo and watch the new Shadow and Bone adaptation on Nextflix. Helnik serves all the tropes in all the best ways.) Anyways, my point is that that’s all this is, and I am fully aware of that. I needed more of these tropes with Rivusa, so here we are. Enjoy.

She's going to kill them. Every single one of them. And she was going to make it as painful and slow and agonizing as she could. Now that she knew how to extract mind control, she figured she could easily learn how to enact it. She would learn to do it overnight. She would! And she would most definitely use it on every single one of her suitemates, no moral obligations holding her back. In fact, she was doing them a favor by not opting to do it with her knives, the ones she'd begun training with a month ago or so. She was going to do it, no hesitation- 

"You can take the bed."

Riven's words snapped her out of her fantasies. She forced herself to finally turn and stare at him. He was already standing in the middle of the room they had been assigned. The room that had a single king sized bed in the middle of it. There was a small window on each side of the head board, with thick tattered curtains covering the view of the barren land outside. A couch was positioned to the right of the bed, a door stood just a few feet above it. There was no dresser in the room, no closet. 

Not exactly a five star hotel, she thought to herself. But then again, they were in hiding from a psychopath who thought herself to be the future ruler of the world, not on vacation. The cracks on the walls and the dust that could be seen covering every surface fit the murderous mood of their escape so much more than a nice cozy bedroom. 

Musa wondered how Stella was holding up. Bitterly, she hoped that she was hating it. Served her right for leaping at the chance to spend the night with her ex-bodyguard instead of opting to share with one of the girls. 

It had been a long night of traveling and by the time Dowling, Silva, and Harvey had finally located their destination, the whole group was practically a squad of walking zombies struggling to maintain awareness long enough to not fall asleep while standing up. After escaping Alfea, they had trekked through the woods continuously for 36 hours straight, needing to get as far away from the school as possible without using magic for fear of giving away their plan. 

Their little group had been led by Professor Harvey, who somehow knew exactly where they were headed without using a map to navigate through the veils of greenery that they had bypassed. How, Musa wasn't sure. It all looked the same to her, and quite frankly after a while she seriously considered the possibility that they were just walking in circles. Sam and Terra had followed behind their father, pointing out harmful weeds to avoid touching or stepping on for the rest of the group. The rest of the girls had followed their orders, Bloom and Sky leading the charge, then Brandon and Stella, Aisha, Musa, and Riven. Dowling and Silva followed a few feet behind, making sure that no one was following them as they went. Needless to say, the journey had been endless and there seemed to be no end in sight. The students had been unsure of where they were headed, as the professors had refused to divulge any sort of extra information unless it was explicitly necessary.

In the end, they had walked out of the woods and into an abandoned city. White bricks and cracked cement littered the ground that they passed through, exerting great effort to not step on any broken shards of glass and cut themselves. 

"Aster Dell" Bloom had whispered when she had seen the jagged outline of the town. Professor Harvey had nodded his head at her words, verifying their truth, and that had been that. No one spoke and no one asked the millions of questions that swarmed their minds. How were they able to see this place? Wasn't Queen Luna supposed to have it covered up? Why were they even here? Wasn't this a little too obvious of a hideout? Musa's curiously was running high, but her desire to just sleep was even greater so she had just followed right along as the professor led them through winding streets and in front of a rundown building that seemed to barely be holding onto its hinges.

Dowling had broken the silence, "Welcome to Magix Inn, or what's left of it. We'll make camp in here for the night."

Turns out Magix Inn was just that, and inn. And a tiny one at that, just ten boarding rooms to offer. Each boasted a king sized bed and minimal furniture. Unfortunately, the four rooms located on the south side of the building had been completely destroyed in the wreckage, so they were left with six to pick from. Dowling and Silva had taken the one at the very beginning of the eastern hallway, for security measures. For that same purpose, Professor Harvey had taken the one at the very end of the corridor, and Sam joined him. Sky had insisted he stay with Bloom for the night, attached to her as he had been for the last 36 hours, fearing that she would lose control of her magic again. No one bothered to mention that there was nothing he could really do if that happened again, they just let the couple slip into the room diagonal from Dowling and Silva's. Their door had barely closed before Stella had basically dragged Brandon into the room next to theirs, shouting over her shoulder "Good night everyone!" That left Aisha, Terra, Musa, and Riven. And two rooms. There had been an awkward silence, during which the girls looked back and forth between the three of them, daring each other to make the first move. When Aisha scooted slightly closer to Terra, Musa knew she was about to lose. Frustrated, angry, and just plain tired, she'd huffed and spun around to face the devil himself.

"Well, would you look at that?" Riven's grin was basically a smirk as he cocked his eyebrows in her direction, eyes roaming up and down the whole of her, his usual form of acknowledgement when it came to her. "Looks like we're playing roomies for the night." For some reason, he did not sound very disappointed at that idea. 

"Not another word," Musa had growled at him, before making her way to the room second to last from the end of the hallway. In any other scenario, she would be happy that he was choosing to speak to her again but right now she couldn't be bothered.

And now, here they were. In a room. Alone. With one bed. Two sets of curtains. A couch that was definitely too small for either of them to sleep in comfortably. One door that led to the bathroom. Oh, and did she mention the one bed? 

She finally stepped away from the doorway, letting the heavy wooden door lock behind her. As she crossed the room and headed for the bed, she couldn’t help but notice the dust that kicked up at her feet as she walked on the oriental rug that had to have existed for at least 16 years and who knows how much longer before then. The idea of sleeping here was almost revolting, but at this point she would give anything for a place to lay down, so whatever. They'd fought monsters and survived, they could outlive a bit of dust. What she might not be able to outlive, however, was sharing a room with the specialist standing behind her.

She dropped her backpack on the bed, choosing to ignore the dust that resurfaced with the motion, and turned to face him. 

"Yeah, no. As much as I would love to watch you try to squeeze into that tiny little couch, it would be extremely cruel of me to make you do that after a day and a half of constant walking. Plus, it's a king sized bed. I don’t need all of it. We'll just share." She hoped that came out as causal as it sounded in her head.

Riven's smirk, the one that hadn't left his face since the sleeping arrangements had been decided, grew even wider at her words. "I suppose, if you insist. An Alfea gentleman would never ignore a lady's wishes, after all." 

She scoffs at him. "I doubt you would count among the gentlemen of Alfea."

"Oh, I don't know. I've been told I have a way of outdoing myself when it comes to ladies' requests. Especially in the bedroom." He's eyeing her from the corner of his sightline as he makes for the bed, dropping his own bag diagonally from hers. She's suddenly flushed, from anger or blushing she's not sure. But she's not about to give him any ideas.

"We are not, I repeat NOT, completing any sort of requests tonight." She narrows her eyes at him, her voice strong and unwavering. It surprises her, the sheer strength behind those words because honestly it's the opposite of what she wants to say. The opposite of what she wants to do.

"Whatever you say." His statement is short, filled with hidden messages. He shuffles through his bag as she shuffles through her thoughts, watching him and biting her tongue so that all her questions don't come tumbling out. 

He heads for the bathroom, and once she hears the door close, she pulls out her phone.

"Hello!" Aisha's voice is all cheer and chuckle on the other side of the line. Musa thinks she can hear Terra's giggle in the background, too. 

"I'll kill you." Musa's reply is a lot less cheery and a lot more lethal.

"Oh, come on!" It's Terra's voice this time. "We're practically doing you a favor. You should be thanking us."

"I'll kill you. All of you." She repeats it, just to make sure they're really catching it.

"Musa, love, you know this has to happened at some point." Aisha's words are calm. "We're headed into a war. We're running away from school. We're going to have a lot more shit to deal with in a couple of hours, and you're still not in the right mindset for all of it. You’re in a completely different world. If you're so worried about it, just ask him. Better yet, just tell him."

"I don't know what you're talking about, " Musa mumbles angerly.

The sighs that she hears from the other side of the conversation tell her just how little Aisha and Terra believe her. It's silent for a second, and Musa can just feel the two girls going back and forth on who's turn it is to confront her. Terra's sweet voice comes through the phone after a few seconds, "Musa, we're not going to tell you what to do. It's not our place. But we will tell you what we see, because you're our friend and we love you and want you to be happy-"

"Terra, we're heading for a war. There is no happy in war." Musa's voice is monotone. 

"Musa," her name is a warning on Terra's lips, a sign that she's used this excuse before and it hasn't worked. "Look, I know you like him. I know it's weird between you two. You had to go digging into his brain to break him out of a spell and he didn't appreciate that, but quite frankly, I don’t think he appreciated being Beatrix's little pet and Rosalind's spy either. So he can be bitter and mad about it all he wants, you did what you had to do to save his ass and ours."

"That's the problem though. He's no longer mad about it. At least, I don’t think he is. He's talking to me. Like, now that we’re in the room. He hadn't even looked at me since the I broke that stupid spell…" Her voice drops at that last sentence. 

"That's good. Right?" Aisha's voice is a mix of encouragement and confusion. 

"Since when are you in on this, Aisha? I thought you hated the guy?" Now Musa's just curious. How did they even get into this situation in the first place? How did she get here, sharing a room with a boy that has one too many demons on his shoulders and whom she's embarrassingly crushing on?

Aisha's reply is quick and defensive. "Oh, I still do. But, he's still Sky's bff or whatever and he's still your…" There's a pause that follows that particular thought and Musa takes the time to wonder how Aisha is going to finish that sentence.  "You know what, I don't really know what he is. But he helped you train and you two had something going before, well, before he started disappearing to go do Rosalind's dirty business. Plus, for some unknown, godforsaken season, you're into him. As your friend and roommate, I feel the need to support all your dumb choices, within reason of course. So, yeah. I guess I'm in on whatever this is too."

"You sound like Stella." Musa's mouth quirks into a smirk as she picks up Aisha's groan from across the line.

"Don't remind me. Pretty soon, I'll start swooning over ex-bodyguard-turned-teammate Brandon too." They all get a laugh out of that line.

"God, I'd pay to see that. Poor guy has his work cut out for him, I wonder what they're doing right now." Terra's inquiry needs no answer, but Musa feels the need to comment on the situation at hand. 

"I can't believe she did that! She just left us! You know what, she's the first one I'm killing. You two can pick between second and third place."

Aisha chuckles at her words before a yawn overtakes her and she replies, "Alrighty, it's bed time. We've got a long day tomorrow. And, Musa, just do it. Just talk it out and get it off your chest. You don't want to leave things unsaid, not when we don't know what tomorrow brings. You've already played that game before and it was not fun." Aisha's right, of course. Musa has played that game before.

Right before Riven disappeared, they had been training together for a while, which had somehow turned into them having lunch together on the daily, which had then turned into secret meetings at night in the greenhouse. They'd both needed some alone time, to catch their breath and just marvel at their messed up lives and all the fucked up shit that was going on. And for some reason, his little quips and their constant banter had become her new safety net, a web of comfort and solace, something she hadn't had since Sam and her started drifting apart. But unlike Sam, who was all calming waters and steady footing on a gentle boat, Riven had been all of the tumultuous oceans in the worst of weathers. She never really found her footing in the storm that was Riven and his thoughts, and that had brought her a comfort like no other. In a world where all they had was scheduled to the minute thanks to Rosalind's insane regime, his inconsistent thoughts had drawn her in. She'd wanted to break him open, tuck herself into the blanket that was his mind, and lay there until his emotions numbed both her and him. And, then, somewhere between aching to be numb and heavy innuendos, she had found herself staring at him more often than she should and thinking about him in ways she knew would do her no favors if she let them continue. But, she let them continue. And pretty soon, his loud emotions weren't just comfort and she didn't just want to drown in them. No, at that point, she had wanted to dive deeper into them so that she might try and shift through them. Try to untangle his deepest fears and settle them. To mold her own pain into the shapes that formed the cracks of his heart, so that she could somehow fit him and be a comfort for him in the same way he was for her. She'd wanted it so bad. So, so very bad. And she'd almost said so, too. Too bad Rosalind had chosen that day to start using the spell she had placed on him months before.

Aisha's voice pulls Musa away from her own thoughts. "Hey, Musa? You still there?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sorry. Just dozing off a bit, it's been a long day."

"Ugh, tell me about it. Look, if you two won't talk it out for yourselves, do it for us. We're all on edge with all the sexual tension that's coming off of you two."

"Aisha!" Terra's voice sounds horrified. "Actually, she's not wrong. As Stella so kindly suggested, you two might want to just fuck it out. See if that helps break the ice."

It's Musa's turn to be horrified now. "Terra! You did not just say that! And we are NOT fucking anything out!" 

Her friends, however, don't give her the satisfaction of listening to her defense. "Goodnight Musa!" And with that the phone call ends and she's left listening to silence and feeling even more agitated than she did when she first called them. She screams and throws her phone across the bed, watching as it haphazardly hangs from the corner of the white duvet. 

"Now what's all this about fucking?" Riven's voice nearly sends her digging her own grave. Great. Just great. Of course he chooses now to make his way back into the room.

"Nothing." Her rely drips in venom as she makes a point to angerly dig into her bag and pull out her toiletries. She pushes past him and into the bathroom before he gets the chance to question her again. She worked quickly to strip herself of the heavy layers she had on, and into a long white t-shirt that she often wears to bed. She had forgotten to pack a pair of shorts, as she usually just took them off and slept in her underwear. For a second she considered wearing jeans to bed, but she decided she wasn't about to sweat to death for Riven's sake. He'd seen naked girls before. Plus, if it wasn't jeopardizing her modesty, she doubted it was harming his innocence.

When she came out, however, she started to question her decision. The second she stepped out of the bathroom, Riven's voice greeted her.

"So, now that you're done hiding," he started, scrolling through his phone in nothing but a set of sweatpants. "Do feel free to explain to me who's fucking who, besides Brandon and Stella." He'd looked up then, and that had been their demise. His eyes had gone to her face first, but she'd watched as they moved downward in a slow motion, as if he was committing every bit of her body to memory.  She understood now why girls raved about him, because if he gave them all that look… well, Musa supposes they would all feel exactly how she is feeling right about now. 

Oh, for god's sake. Why her? 

She waits for the comment she knows is coming.

"Please tell me you're not planning on sleeping in that." Well, that's not what she expected.

"What?" She raises an eyebrow at him.

"You need to put on something else if we're really not completing any requests tonight." He's still staring at her legs as she chokes a laugh at him and makes her way to her side of the bed.

"Get your head out of the getter, idiot. I can sleep in whatever I want and you can handle yourself. You'll be fine." 

"I know you can sleep in whatever you want. Me controlling myself, that's where our issues start, love. You have a little too much faith in me." He catches her eyes and quirks an eyebrow her way as she shuffles to unhook her bra from behind and slips it off under the shirt she's wearing before throwing it on top of her other clothes. "For fuck's sake, are you serious right now?!" Honestly, she was going to keep the bra on before she saw his reaction to her bare legs, but at this point they’re so far in over their heads that she might as well pull out all the stops. His continuous reactions are just icing on top of the cake.

"Oh, absolutely." She's smirking at him, eyes dancing with mischief as he stares at her full of lust. She laughs as she tucks herself into the covers. "Relax, I'll keep my underwear on." His face is heating up, frustration evident in the line between his brows and she longs to reach over the expanse of the duvet and press her thumb to the space between his eyebrows and smooth it out. She doesn't. 

"This isn't fair," he protests.

"Says the guy who's shirtless right now," comes her reply.

"That's not the same thing and you know it." His voice is strained and she's eager to see when it'll snap, when one of them will finally just admit defeat.

"Isn't it? The feminist in me disagrees."

"Don't. Don't you dare take that stupid shirt off." His hands are shaking as he points a warning finger her way, and she laughs. She's enjoying this way too much. But she knows if she keeps it up, he'll keep true to his word and she won't push him away, and frankly that thought should scare her. Instead, she finds herself wondering how many buttons she can push before he caves.

"Turn off the lights and come to bed Riven." Her voice is light now, no longer teasing. He watches her snuggle further into the covers, eyebrows still furrowed at her and she can practically hear the turmoil in his mind. "Ugh, honestly, calm the fuck down. Your emotions are so intense right now, it's hurting my brain. I promise I'll keep the shirt on. Now, come on. Come to bed."

He mumbles something about staying out of his mind, but he closes the small lamp by his bedside and crawls into bed beside her. Well, calling it beside her is a bit of a stretch as he's practically at the edge of the huge bed. She huffs at his child-like manner and rolls her eyes at him.

"Seriously, Riven? I thought you'd be jumping at the chance to get a girl into bed and here you are avoiding me like the plague. You know I don't bite, right?"

"Whatever," he mumbles. She finally turns to face him, reaches her arms across the mattress and digs her fingers into the waistband of his sweats, tugging him closer to the center of the bed. He jumps at the feel of her hands on his bare stomach, his breath catching at this throat as they now stand face to face and mere inches away from each other. She watching his eyes as they take her in, and she's vaguely aware of the fact that this is too intimate. This moment is exactly what she was trying to avoid, but she can't bring herself to care. So, instead she takes this time to study the green of his eyes. In the dark, they're illuminated by the thin sliver of moonlight the peeks from between the curtains of the window on her side of the bed. They're dilated, more black than green, but she can just make out the color around the edges or his iris. Hazel on the inside, and impossibly green on the outside ridges. She remembers when she was younger, she'd once told her mother that she wanted interesting eyes, by which she meant she wanted blue or green eyes. Something other than her brown orbs. In a way, she was vainly excited when her powers had come in and her eyes started to glow lavender and purple. How naïve she had been, how stupid. She knows now, looking into Riven's eyes, that interesting eyes had no color attached to them. Interesting eyes were ones that held stories, emotions. And Riven's eyes held so many stories, and so many emotions. They gave him away, at least to her they did. She swears that even without her powers, she would be able to feel the pain, the hurt, the mischief, and (right now) the undeniable want by just looking into his eyes. The want is especially pungent. She hopes he can see the want in her eyes too. She bitterly thinks to herself that her girls are right, the two of them are hopeless. They've been cascading through this thing between them, her and Riven, and after she broke his mind control, he'd refused to look her in the eye, let alone talk to her. 

They stand face to face with each other for a while, before she finally ducks her head below his chin and tucks herself against his collarbone. She feels him tense below her (feels her own breath catch, fearing that he'll push her off) before he relaxes a little and his breathing slows down. She listens to his heart beating beneath her, and the pounding of it against her ear lulls her mind into a peaceful state. Once she feels like she can finally breathe normally again, she works up the nerve to ask him the questions she's been meaning to ask for about two days now. 

"Are you angry?"

He pulls away from her, just enough to look down at her. But she won't look at him. Instead, she traces his collarbone with the tips of her fingers, burning holes into it with the intensity of her gaze. 

"Angry?" He sounds genuinely surprised. 

"Yeah," her reply comes in a whisper. Tears are welling in her eyes, but she refuses to let them slip as she continues to bore into his skin. 

"Why would I be angry?" 

"Don't." She doesn't want to say it. Doesn't want to be sorry for what she did, because she's not. She's not.

"Don't what?"

"Don't make me say it." It's a whimper this time, her voice threatening to crack along with her heart.

"Musa," he lifts her chin up. "What is going on? Why would I be angry at you?" She stares into his eyes again and curses the gods above for making her do this.

"Because I had to go into your mind. I had to dig around and manipulate it. I know you've never liked that about my powers. I know that it's no better than what Rosalind and Beatrix did to you. I know that, but I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry, Riven." She says it as though she's trying to convince herself. A deep breath, and then she's talking again. "I'm not sorry because it freed you. So, I'm not sorry about my powers or about what I did." She notices the line between his brows growing more and more as she speaks, and this time she does reach across the space between them and smooth it out with the pad of her fingertip.

She's not expecting an answer, but she was hoping for one. And as the silence between them grows, she figures she has overstayed her welcome. 

As she moves away from him, his arms snap into motion. They wrap around her waist, pulling her back into him. She squeezes her eyes shut as his scent engulfs her once again. 

"I'm not angry." His words, mumbled against her hair, are the final straw. Her tears come ripping through her body, unwelcome but inevitable. She hates this, hates crying. She's not a quiet crier. When she cries, her whole body cries with her. She shakes, she hiccups, and her breathing speeds up. There's no way he doesn't feel it. 

"Musa, really, I'm not angry. And hey," he's pulling away again, gently pushing her back so he can look at her face when he says the next words. "For the record, you are NOTHING like them. Nothing. Do you hear me?" She hiccups and looks down. "You're not. I swear to you, Musa. You're not. And, just so you know, I don't hate your powers. Never have, never will." 

"But you said-"

"I know what I've said. It wasn't because I hate you, it was because I hate my own mind." He pauses, looks away from her as if trying to work up the courage to continue. "Sometimes…  a lot of the time… I can't stand myself. What I hated was the idea of anyone, especially you, seeing all my bad parts. And fuck, Musa, there are so many shitty parts of me. So, so many. I mean, I've been helping Rosalind execute a war for months. Fuck." He chuckles a laugh with no humor behind it, looks up to the ceiling. "Fuck. I'm so fucking broken, Musa. And the idea that you felt that. God, I don't know…"

She watches him struggle, feels his inner turmoil. She finds herself wanting to sort out his feelings for him, mend his aches.

"Is that why you keep pulling away? From me, I mean?" She needs to know. She can't be imagining this thing between them, can't be the only one with her heart on the line right now. He moves so that he's looking at her again, but doesn't answer her right away.

"You're good, Musa. You're so fucking good. Nothing about you is bad. You're good, and you're smart, and you're fucking gorgeous." She feels her heart flutter at his words, her hopes taking flight and jumping to the sky. She wants to scream with joy, wants to kiss him. But his words are laced with a treacherous kind of tone, she can feel the desperation in him, and just as quickly as her excitement came, it leaves.

"I can't do this, Musa. I can't do it. Not to you. You deserve better than this." He's pulling away, and her heart is sinking.

"Better than what?" She sits up as he gets out of the bed. He walks to the end of the bed, looks at the door that leads to the hallway. She can feel him pulling away, wanting to leave.

"Better than what, Riven?" She's louder this time, angry that he's pulling away again after all she's told him.

"Me!" The intensity of his voice causes her to jump back. "Ok? Better than me!" His body is shaking, and so is hers. Because honestly, how dare he?

"And who are you to decide what I deserve?"

"Fuck, Musa. We're not doing this. We're not playing at this game." She feels like she's being scolded, as though she's a child he's refusing to answer to. 

"You don’t get to decide what I deserve, Riven. And you sure as hell don't get to decide what I want-"

"And what do you want, Musa?" His words stop her. "What do you want? Because I have been racking my brain for so fucking long trying to figure out what it is you want. And as much as I think I have you figured out, I can't possibly be right."

She runs the question through her mind a couple of times, questioning how to answer him. She's tired of lying. Tired of wanting him when he's scared to want her back, of constantly being on edge around him. So she decides she might as well tell him. "You. I want you."

"No, you don’t." Fuck him.

"Yes, I do!" She's angry now.

"No."

"Yes!"

"Musa, no."

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?! Are we really doing this right now? Are we arguing about this like middle schoolers? You asked what I want. And I want you!"

"No, Musa, you don't."

"Why is it so fucking hard for you to accept it?! I want you and that's the end of it." She getting angrier as they keep going, and it furthers her anger that he's so calm about it. 

"You can't want me, Muse. You can't." The despair that she feels from him is intense and it, along with his nickname for her, knocks the breath out of her.

"What do you mean I can't want you?" She's trying to keep her voice down, fully aware of the thin walls and the fact that everyone else is probably asleep by now.

"Just… I'm not good. Not in the way the rest of you are. I'm a walking mess and I can't do anything without fucking it up." His voice is small and Musa can see the broken boy behind the persona he's managed to construct for himself.

"But I do, Riven."

"Why?" A broken question. 

She mulls it over in her head, chuckling. "Because, Riv, you've never been able to walk away from me and I've never been able to let you. We play games, you and I." They do. They ring around the rosies, a pocket full of kisses just waiting to spill out of their carefully constructed gates. "We circle one another, Riv, until we're both dizzy with desire and want and fear and fatigue… but we never break the circle. We never stray off path. You lean forward and I lean in, ready to give you my all, and then you pull back. And then we go back to the circle." It's a long metaphor and honestly she's not exactly sure if she's getting her point across. He watches as she pushes herself to her knees on the bed, shuffling closer to him with every word. 

"The circle is our game, Riven. You run, I chase. I run, you chase." She reaches for his hand. "I've never wanted to lose a game so badly." His eyes are on her as she pulls him back onto the bed. She leans in slowly, making sure that she maintains eye contact with him the whole time. She wants him to know she means it, all of it. She's not going anywhere. Her fingertips trace their way up his stomach, chest, neck, winding into his hair. They're millimeters away, noses pressed against each other, breaths mingling.

"Your move, Riv." And she feels her words break his concentration, just as his hands snap up to her body. It’s a quick movement, but his hands etch a trail of fire on her as the move roughly from her knees to the back of her thighs, up her back, and to the junction of her shoulders. When their lips finally meet, it’s anything but gentle. He bites at her lip, she gasps against him, and he takes the chance to tug on her bottom lip. She can't help the moan that leaves her, thoughts of the others already asleep leaving her mind as he does things with his tongue she didn't know were possible. He moves to her jaw, kissing his way downward as she cranes her neck back so that he has all the space he needs to do whatever he's planning on doing. She doesn't know what he's aiming for, but she knows what she wants him to do. She lets her hands fall to his pants, tugs them down. He moans against her collarbone and she swears she's going insane. She's burning but she's also shivering. She can't breathe and yet she feels like she's breathing for the first time in her life. 

"Shirt," she gasps. And then it's off of her, the one thing that he swore needed to stay on her if they were going to make it through the night. 

They spend the night doing everything they've avoided doing for months. He fills the silence with whispers of how gorgeous she is, and she feels her heart burst at its seams. They don't sleep, and she doesn't want to. This is better than sleep, she's never felt more awake than when he's tracing the lines of her body. 

He's resting on her chest, arms slung over her body as his fingertips play with the ends of her hair, when it hits her.

"I'm going to have to tell the girls that we did fuck it out." And as much as she hates the idea of her roommates being right, she thinks that maybe his laugh makes it all worth it.

[ayanna-wild]

A Place To Call Home

Word Count: 1557

Pairings: Lucifer Morningstar x Reader

Warnings: angst, possible trigger, fluff

A/N: Request from anonymous, And thank you all so much for being so supportive, screw the haters, you guys are amazing and I truly couldn't ask for better readers!

Tag list and Request are open!

Summary: He seldom came to this part of the city, where the people who resided would sooner rob him then help him. But he had a favor to collect on. While he waited to cross the street, he notices a small crowd of people and there you are at the center, torn clothes, dirty, and giving away all the money you had just collected from the crowd who had bought your art. He can't help but be curious and you soon find a persistent devil tailing after you. Wondering why you gave everything when it was clear you had nothing. 

..................................................................................

Lucifer sighed as he stood impatiently on the sidewalk. This light always seemed to take so long to change, with how old it looked he was surprised it even functioned at all anymore. He'd have crossed the street already, light be damned, if he didn't think someone might run him over. He wouldn't put it past anyone in this part of the city. Most watched him like greedy vultures, waiting for his demise, so they could swoop in and collect from his misery.

A small crowd of people gathered around someone who was sitting on a blanket. He didn't think much of it, they'd been there a while. He turned his attention back to the light, just in time to see it flicker before fizzing out all together. 

"Oh bloody hell." 

Lucifer glared at the wretched thing, looking both ways to see if he could safely cross. He wouldn't even be here if the Detective hadn't asked him to use one of his favors. He was beginning to regret agreeing. He'd been seconds from stepping off the broken concrete, and onto the street when he threw one last glance over his shoulder. The crowd had dispersed, and he saw the person at the center was now gathering their blanket. He watched you closely as you walked a few feet down, handing the cup of money in your hand to an elderly woman.

The two of you seemed to argue for a moment, but ultimately it seemed you won and you draped the worn blanket you carried over her shoulders. Lucifer watched you walk away curiously before changing his direction. He approached the older woman with a kind smile.

"Excuse me, do you know who that was?" He asked politely.

She regarded him closely for a moment, almost suspiciously.

"I do. What's it to you?" 

Lucifer smiled at the woman's attempt to be intimidating.

"I simply wish to ask her a few things is all."

He held his hands up, trying to show her he meant no harm to her or you.

"Her name is Y/N, she lives not far from here." 

"And does she do that often? Give her money away like that?" 

The woman shrugged, peering into the cup you'd given her.

"Yes, sometimes to me, sometimes to other people, I always tell that girl not to worry about me. She's worse off than I am. I've got my coat for the winter, but she insists on giving away her stuff. Her hard-earned money, she's talented, if her situation was different she'd have made a name for herself by now."

Lucifer was even more intrigued now, and he glanced down the street.

"There's a soup kitchen close by, poor funding but it provides at least three meals a week. Hardly anything, but it's enough to keep some skin on her bones."

Lucifer frowned a little at that, and the elderly lady began to gather her stuff.

"It's the alley by the old deli, you can't miss it, she's draped this old blue tarp over a few crates. Bit rough, but it gets the job done." 

Lucifer thanked the woman before going on his way. He looked around the area, searching for the place she had described. He found you, placing an unused trashed bag over a hole in your tarp. You didn't notice him lingering as you taped the bag down.

"Not exactly a five-star hotel is it?"

You jumped at the sound of his voice, turning to face him with unease. Lucifer took a step into the alley, making you take one back.

"Maybe not, but it does the trick."

He watched you shiver, saw the goosebumps on your skin as you stood there.

"I don't have any drawings left to sell if that's why you're here."

Lucifer looked around the place you called home.

"You don't have much of anything by the looks of it." He hummed.

Your unease was gone, replaced instead by annoyance and you crossed your arms. 

"It's better than what I had before... where I was before." 

Lucifer frowned, tilting his head.

"Anyway, if you're just here to comment on my living situation than kindly fuck off." 

Your words were bitter, a stark contrast to the actions you had displayed earlier. Lucifer walked closer to you, but you didn't seem as hesitant this time.

"I apologize that was rather rude of me, I assure you that isn't why I'm here."

"Then why are you?" You looked at him skeptically, like you didn't trust his words.

"I suppose your act of selflessness quipped my curiosity so, I've come to ask you why." 

You looked at him confused and a little lost, and he continued, further explaining himself.

"You gave that woman all the money you made, from those drawings I'm assuming you spent hours making. Then you gave her your blanket, which by the looks of things was your only source of warmth for the winter, despite how tattered the thin fabric was. I simply wish to know why that is. Why share everything when you have nothing to give?" 

You stared at him a moment, studying him as you tried to gauge if maybe he had ulterior motive beyond his question. However, it seemed he really was just curious.

"Her name is Edrsia, she's almost seventy-years-old. She's not on the streets by choice, her son took everything she had and pawned it off. Her husband passed years before, and she couldn't afford even a shoe box size apartment. She helped me, when I first started living on the streets. So, I give her what I can, whether I can spare it or not."

You expected him to be satisfied with your answer, maybe even leave you alone, but your response seemed to have the opposite effect.

"Yes but why? From what I can tell you're barely making it yourself. I simply cannot fathom why you'd give up what little you do have. Just because she helped you once, that hardly means you should risk your own well-being to return such a small act."

You smiled a little, offering a small shrug.

"I guess because it's just the human thing to do. I don't need a good reason to help someone, just a reason."

Lucifer pondered over your answer silently and you glanced back towards your makeshift tent.

"It's supposed to rain tonight, I really should-"

"Would you like a place to stay for a while?"

You almost tripped over yourself when you heard that.

"What?"

"Not for free of course, you see I rather like your art, and my bar could use a bit of...artistic flare."

You suspicion didn't go unnoticed by the handsome man, and he gave you a charming smile.

"The choice is yours, I'm merely offering you a warm place and a small job."

You mulled it over, he didn't come off as the type of person to play a joke this cruel. Yet, you suspected he had some underlining goal to this.

"What do you get out of this?"

Lucifer grinned, your question making him like you all the more.

"It's been my experience that humans can be rather selfish creatures, very few offer any real selflessness. If nothing else you can at least teach me a bit more about this side of humanity."

The deal seemed almost too good to be true, and a part of you wanted to refuse. But your shaking hands and the numbness in your limbs told you that you couldn't afford to be stubborn, not unless you wanted to freeze to death.

"Okay."

"Marvelous! Then if we have a deal-"

You shook your head, not moving to shake his outstretched hand.

"Not yet. I'm only agreeing if you help Edrsia, she doesn't have good health, she can't survive another year out here." 

Lucifer once again seemed surprised, but he nodded regardless.

"Consider it done, now do we have a deal?"

This time you did shake his hand, and let out a yelp when he tugged on your arm pulling you to his side. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders, leading you down the street.

"Goodness you're chilled to the bone darling, here take this."

Lucifer released you to remove his jacket, but you shook your head looking almost ashamed.

"I live on the streets, showers aren't a luxury I can afford."

He ignored your protest draping the material over your shoulders, despite your words you quickly pulled it tighter around you.

"I don't mind my dear, it's not your fault."

You looked up at him smiling a bit.

"Thank you... I never got your name."

"Oh dear how rude of me to skip introductions, my name is Lucifer Morningstar."

"It's nice to meet you Lucifer, I'm Y/N."

He raised an eyebrow, but the smile never left his lips.

"No last name?" He inquired.

"Does it matter?" 

He hummed a little at your answer but didn't pry.

"I suppose not, well come on love, let's get you out of the cold."

You didn't argue when he placed a hand on your back, and you fought back grateful tears. Lucifer watched you from the corner of his eye, a soft smile on his lips, his heart swelling at the hope in your eyes.

Maybe you could teach the devil a thing or two about the better side of humanity.

..................................................................................

Tag List: @sallyp-53 @mizzezm @adira-secrets @we-are-all-alittle-strange-here @gingernarwal @im-just-along-for-the-ride @lifeshortbro @star-trek-is-my-lifesource @measure-in-pain @emiwrites3reads

[alison-anonymous]

flawsome bandits pt. 11 ♡ sonic

Flawsome Tessering

Part 11, coming at you! This part doesn’t have too much Sonic x Y/n, but don’t worry my darlings, I am saving that for the next chapter ;) This one includes some mother-daughter relationships and tons of foreshadowing. Enjoy!

Warnings - slight angst, robotnik x stone mentions

♡♡♡

“Why so down, Sonic?” A man with a head as smooth as an eggshell asked his pet boulder as it sat next to him in his poorly repaired drone. The boulder had tiny little dents in its craters that were obviously created by Robotnik to form a dopey grin and two misshapen eye sockets. The man chortled to himself as he tapped the cracked glass where an electric blue quill sat, charging up his entire machine. “Aww, are you sad because I’m coming back home?”

Robotnik stared intently at the little boulder, watching as it practically began to sweat under his intense gaze. He finally sat back up and let out yet another loud chuckle, filling the silent air around him for miles. “Sorry to disappoint, bud, but you and your little girlfriend are going to be toast as soon as I wrap my hands around your puny little necks~” He sang out the last part, his time spent in isolation taking an immense toll on his sanity. His tethered and gloved hands expertly found their way across his very dented control panel, clicking on a bunch of buttons that ended up making the drone begin to whirr. The air surrounding him that reeked of fungus began to churn at the new winds. 

“Come on, baby,” Robotnik grumbled, pushing his prized invention to the limit as it began to levitate its misshapen and damaged body a couple feet off the ground. The engines worked in tandem with one another, struggling to compensate for the extreme damage that had been inflicted upon them. Even Robotnik’s expert repair jobs using the emergency kits Stone had made him place in every one of his drones wasn’t enough to make up for it all. 

He guessed Stone was right for once. Shocker.

The erratic energy being extracted from Sonic’s quill mingled with the artificial power he was able to save. As the drone began to sputter, he quickly grabbed onto the throttle in an attempt to steady the drone, even his hideously long mustache hairs twitching with anticipation. He had to do it. He had to make this work. He couldn’t stand another second trapped here with Mushroom Bertha, Mushroom Kick-Sonic’s-Ass, Mushroom Carl, and Mushroom I-Want-A-Hedgehog-Skin-Rug or IWAHS for short. After a couple of minutes spent in agonizing suspense, a little glimmer began to form in the air before him. A malicious grin made its way across his lips as he realized that his plan was working.

The energy coming from his drone was enough to cause a small rip in the universe, mostly due to Sonic’s alienated DNA and ability to tesser between universes. The tear grew a decent size wider, its edges glowing an abnormal white and a very faint image of what he presumed to be Green Hills glimmered within it. It was right there. He was going to make it! It was barely big enough for him to pass through, but it was all he needed. With a surge of energy and Robotnik practically gritting his teeth until they chipped, the drone shot through the portal in a flash of blinding light, crash landing onto a very mossy green ground. The impact made Robotnik slam his face against the throttle, but luckily his gigantic mustache hairs cushioned the blow. The drone slowly began to let off steam, already having used all of its juices to float for less than thirty minutes. A steady blow of steam began to shoot up into the air from one of the drones' important capsules, and Robotnik was quick to regain consciousness, standing up and practically falling back down into his seat from the excitement. He looked around the area, hoping taking over his entire internal chemistry as he looked at his surroundings. The hope died almost instantly as he came to a horrific conclusion.

This… this wasn’t Green Hills! 

What the actual fuck?!

There were oddly misshapen trees and abnormal creatures waddling around the perimeter and LOOP-DE-LOOPS?! The anger got the better of him as he picked up the boulder sitting next to him and screamed at the top of his lungs.

“God damnit, Sonic! This is all your fault!” And the tiny boulder was sent flying out of the drone to land against the grass, where it rolled down a hill.

It was safe from the evil man’s clutches at last.

Robotnik let out another frustrated groan and slammed his fists down onto the dash, causing even more smoke to secrete from vital components of the drone. But he didn’t care right now. He had been working on building up all of that power for months. To have it all lost getting him somewhere that wasn’t even where he needed to be - where those goddamn hedgehogs were! And now he was stuck in this crazy backwards land with nothing to defend himself with. At least back with the mushrooms the only predator was sleep deprivation.

And of course, that was self inflicted.

“Oh thank god.” A sudden voice broke through his frustrations. Robotnik’s head snapped up so quickly he was sure he heard his neck crack. He was expecting the worst: three headed bear, snake crossed with a lizard, horse sized horsefly, something deadly and positively hideous. So when he saw a little black and red hedgehog staring at him intently with ruby irises and what looked to be a gun and a little bag situated around his hips, he was very, VERY surprised.

“Well, who the fuck are you supposed to be?” Robotnik couldn’t help but blurt. The hedgehog looked incredibly relieved as he came closer to the drone, showing his gloved hands in a means of presenting no harm.

“My name is Shadow. I was created by your assistant, Agent Stone.” Robotnik’s heart stopped at the sound of his name. “He sent me through the different universes to find you. It’s taken forever, but I finally did it. I have more rings left to get us back to the planet where Hedgehog Sonic and Hedgehog Y/n reside.” 

Robotnik was floored, to say the least. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Agent Stone, the little guy who made delicious lattes and who knew him better than anyone else, MADE a hedgehog and sent him to help Robotnik defeat the two once and for all? 

He owed him a thank you. Or maybe more than that, if you catch my drift ;)

“W-Well then, I suppose it’s nice to have you on board, Mr. Shadow. Unfortunately, my drone was a bit destroyed during the movement here, so unless you have a giant bag of tools next to your gun there, I-”

“Don’t worry, Sir, I’ve got it handled,” Shadow interrupted him, turning around to point into a throng of bushy trees. “I met an Echidna along the way who might be of use to us. Perhaps we could brainwash him into assisting us.” 

Damn. Agent Stone really did a number on this guy. Robotnik liked it. 

♡♡♡

A few hours later and a lot of impressive manipulation, Shadow and Robotnik had recruited yet another member onto their team: Knuckles the Echidna. He was a very burly red thing with intimidating eyes and an unfortunate lack of brains. But, he had resources and his muscle could even out Robotnik’s brains and Shadow’s apparent fiery temper. They were able to convince him that Y/n and Sonic were two beings from a far away planet that were power hungry and had a plot to destroy the entire universe, including this planet. Of course, Knuckles was petrified and said that they must be stopped immediately. The guy was also pretty handy with supplying the needed instruments to fix up Robotnik’s drone. 

Of course, it wasn’t the best job, but it would have to do for now. After Robotnik had done his little patch job, the trio were beginning to prep for their return to earth.

“I assume that you are very excited to defeat the two hedgehogs, Doctor,” Shadow spoke with authority. “But I think it would be better to hide out in a secluded spot for a little while in order for us to build up our resources. We wouldn’t want to go straight into battle without being prepared.” 

Even though Robotnik was really looking forward to crushing Bonnie and Clyde, he had to admit that Shadow had a point. He nodded slowly. “We’ll hide out in the woods in order to gather resources and start the formation of Metal Sonic. Agreed? Agreed.” Even though he wasn’t looking for a confirmation, the two nodded despite. Everything was going according to plan. Robotnik had gathered two allies and had already begun his plan to form a metal-based version of Sonic. For two reasons, really. The first was to use Sonic’s greatest power and turn it into his weakness, and the second was to try and trick Y/n into not being able to fight the one that she loves. They were going to destroy the two hedgehogs once and for good, donating their bodies to Robotnik’s favorite charity: science.

But what these little twerps didn’t know was that a certain fox had been spying on the three of them ever since Robotnik had crash landed a couple feet away from his lab. It was finely secluded within the weeping willow trees, so he hadn’t been able to see it. But his security measures sure saw the mustache guy.

The little fox’s stomach began to fill with dread as he thought about all of this. These guys were obviously up to no good. Anyone who loved the color combo red and black was obviously up to no good. Especially someone who grew their mustache past five inches. 

On each side.

Those two hedgehogs they had been mentioning… What were their names? Bonnie and Clyde? Funny named for hedgehogs, but he guessed that their world was different than his. He began to rummage through the different gizmos and gadgets he had spent ages on until he finally gathered all of the materials he needed. His little gloved fingers found their way to his energy-tracker as he calibrated it to their energy sources. Funny, he thought. One of them was stronger than the other. 

He narrowed his eyes in determination, steadying himself as he thought of the realm they lived in and tossed one of his golden rings. The second the portal opened, he jumped through, landing on what appeared to be a cliff looking over a small town. Relief filled his orangish-yellow chest as he looked across. He hoped he knew what he was doing. 

Extending his two tails, he leapt off the cliff.

♡♡♡

“M-Mom?” Maddie stirred in her sleep. 

“Mommy?” 

The young mother’s eyes slowly opened to be greeted with the sight of her daughter who had tears streaming down her cheeks. The sight of her daughter in distress kicked all of the sleep out of her as she instantly shot up in bed and immediately started wiping away the tears. Most of them got brushed into the fur around her eyes, but she didn’t care.

“N/n, baby, what’s wrong?” She asked softly, trying her best not to wake up her husband who still lay sound asleep behind her. Y/n only continued to cry harder, her e/c eyes glowing in the dark.

“I-I’m sorry, Mommy. I-I didn’t w-want to see i-it, I-” Maddie gently shushed her, standing on her feet and expertly lifting up the frail hedgehog onto her hip, holding her like she was a toddler. 

“Y/n, honey, you’re not making any sense.” She glanced over at the clock and realized it was barely five in the morning. What on earth was she doing up this late? Y/n was in such hysterics that all she was able to do was plant her face into Maddie’s shoulder and continue to cry, her chest feeling like a million daggers were being dug into it. Maddie’s heart was ripping at the seams for her daughter, as the last time she had seen her this upset was when Sonic had died. She quickly and quietly took the weeping hedgehog out of her room, making sure not to make a sound as she closed the door to leave her sleeping husband alone, and continued through the darkened halls until they made it to the main bathroom. She closed the door behind them and set the hedgehog onto the counter, grabbing a wad of tissues and quickly dabbing her eyes while Y/n wrapped her arms around her trembling torso.

“I-I’m s-sorry-” She hiccuped, choking on the mucus being created from her tears. Maddie’s gaze softened.

“Sweetie, what on earth could you have to be sorry for?” To her surprise, Y/n’s eyes only filled with guilt and self-disgust as she looked down at the floor. 

“...what happened?” Maddie gently cupped her daughter’s furry face in her hands and stared into her liquid e/c eyes. The deeper she looked into them, the more she was able to picture Y/n before she had turned into a hedgehog, back when she was a human. The little hedgehog exhaled a shaky breath and wrung her hands together.

“I… I woke up to singing. And I followed it outside, and there was this… thing out there. It was calling to me, and when I touched it, this is going to sound insane, but it showed me pictures of the future. I-I saw Robotnik, and I saw me and Sonic with two other people and then… the last one… M-Mommy, it looked like someone was trying to k-kill me-” Maddie’s heart stopped in her chest, her eyes widening in horror. Fresh tears began to spill down Y/n’s cheeks even faster. “I-I don’t want to die!”

Maddie quickly enveloped her in a tight hug, pressing her daughter’s head into her chest and stroking her quills gently. “Shh, it’s okay, baby. You’re not going to die.”

“H-how do you k-know that? M-my powers are growing a-and I don’t know how to s-stop it, I don’t want to kn-know how we’re going to d-die, I-” 

Maddie hushed her, continuing to stroke her quills. They sat like this for quite some time, with Maddie consoling her hysterical daughter until her sobs finally died down and were replaced with melancholic sniffles. Maddie’s heart continued to pound, however, fear and confusion coursing through her veins. She was trying with all her might to wrap her brain around the matter, but she was the one who had had the worst time figuring out how Sonic and Y/n’s powers worked in tandem with one another. Even Tom relatively understood better than she could. She knew that Y/n had vocal telekinesis, but seeing the future? Little wisp-like creatures? It didn’t seem like those had ever been mentioned or used before. 

What was going on? Was her daughter truly in danger?

Her grip around her tightened. Y/n exhaled softly and it was then that Maddie realized she had fallen asleep. A small smile crossed her lips as she picked her daughter back up and began to make her way back into the living room. She could have just taken her to her bedroom, but in all honesty, she felt safer leaving her with Sonic than by herself. As she walked through the darkened hallways, she tried to silence the red alarms blaring endlessly throughout her mind. 

Something was wrong.

She could feel it. She didn’t even need magical powers to feel it. Her breath hitched in her throat as she made her way down the stairs, making sure not to trip as she entered the living room. Sonic still lay sound asleep on the couch, not having moved an inch since Y/n had woken up. Maddie gently set her daughter down on the couch, resting her head on Sonic’s chest and covering the two with a fleece blanket. Her fingers softly traced Y/n’s jawline as she slowly stood back up, a small, yet sad, smile staying on her lips.

“Don’t worry, sweetie,” she whispered into the silence. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

♡ a.a.

[fatandnerdy30]

The Itsy Bitsy Spider 17

Hope and Scott enlarged themselves as soon as they came in the special door Hank had provided for them. Both of them were heavy hearted for the news they had to tell Hank.

"Hope?" he father called from the living room. "I thought I heard you. Did you bring...oh you did." Hank came walking out into the foyer and made a face at Scott, who smiled and waved. "Hey Hank. It's nice to see you again. OH! Ummm...thanks for the new suit. It fits perfectly." "Of course it does. We've been working together for almost two years. I think I should know your measurements by now. Now, where is Sean? His family is waiting to see him." Hope shook her head, looking sadly at the floor. "We...we lost him. He was killed by one of the doctors that was holding his family captive. I'm sorry..." Doctor Pym was speechless. "How?" he finally asked after a long silence. "There was another man in the room. He took us by surprise when we thought he was unconscious, but he still had enough life in him to manage to pull a knife on Sean and....stabbed him in the back." Hope took a deep breath. She usually wasn't this upset when they lost someone. But, this man had known her father, was her father's friend. She would have liked to get to know him. "In the end, Sean destroyed his files, all his research." took the small tablet out of her back pocket, using a blue disc on it. "We were able to save the tablet Doctor McCleary was holding, but that's all." She handed the bloody tablet to her father, seeing the face he made when he took it. "Thank you," he managed to say around the sudden lump in his throat. His one time partner was gone. He shouldn't be feeling this way, he hadn't spoken to the man in nearly thirty years. But, it still hurt. "Any luck getting in touch with Doctor Banner?" Hope asked. Hank shook his head. "I started to..but I've been thinking, and I don't think I want anything to do with the Avengers if Stark is anywhere near them." "What?!" Scott exclaimed. "So, you'll just leave a kid who used to be normal, the size of a mouse for the rest of his life, without helping? Not even sending Doctor Banner any information on the serum that could have been used?" Hank gave Lang an angry glare. "You have no clue what Stark is like! He's a user. He uses everyone and everything for his own gain!" Scott shook his head. "No. I don't agree with you. I met him, fought with him...he uses his technology to help people, not take them down! You're thinking of his father!" The white haired man glared at Scott, but didn't say anything. Nothing would change his mind on the Stark family. "I want you to bring the boy here, then. If we have him, we can at least tell if the serum is reversible." Hope and Scott looked at him with shocked faces. "Do you know how impossible that would be? Tony has an AI that monitors the entire building, and I'm pretty sure he has things in place for anything ant sized." "Well, I am not stepping foot in a Stark building, even if that means leaving a child the way he is now!" Hank was stubborn, but the thing was, so was Hope. "Well, I'll go into the building then, and have you on Video where you can see the kid, talk with him, ask him questions. Sound good?" "Not really. I don't want you anywhere near the Avengers." "This isn't going to solve anything. Just suck up your pride, Hank and go to see this kid! Or, at least contact Doctor Banner!" Scott had had enough of this. The two glared at one another until Pym sighed. "Fine. I'll go into Stark's tower. But, he's not getting any files or information from me." With that, the man turned. "Where are you going?" Scott yelled. He wasn't finished. "To tell Sean's family the news," was all Hank needed to say. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The news was playing on the screen in front of the nurses station. May wasn't really paying much attention to what was being broadcast as she did her filing, until something caught her eye. Turning to the television, she saw it was the Avengers taking fire from some super villain that could fly, the footage from almost a week ago. But, that wasn't what she was looking at. One of the camera men turned his attention to the Hulk, who had Tony Stark's daughter in his arms, but there was something on his shoulder. The camera zoomed in a little more and May thought her heart was going to stop. There, sitting the green giants shoulder, was Peter! The woman let out a small scream as she watched the monster grab him in his hand and close the fist. "May?" One of the woman's coworkers came over, worry on her brow. "What's wrong?" "Peter," she whispered. "Peter's alive!" She pointed to the battle on the screen. The woman was unable to wrap her head around it all. Her nephew was alive and was the size of a doll with Tony Stark. The Hulk was shown again, but this time his legs were caught in a metallic rope and he was sent flying to the ground, letting go of the Stark girl, but the camera couldn't pick up Peter. Until the little girl was about to fall to her doom. Her sleeve was being pulled by something, and the cameraman focused in on Peter as he grabbed her sleeve and managed to actually pull the girl to safety. May smiled, tears in her eyes. Just like her nephew to think of others! Suddenly, he was gone, a piece of asphalt landing where he was. She let out a scream and collapsed. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "First things first." Steve was setting up to start training Peter. It was a little odd not to be using the equipment, but hey, work with what you've got. "We run some tests. First test: strength. Sam told us what you did on that bridge with Morgan, and let me tell you, that was no small feat. So, I want to see how much you can lift." He set up the smallest weights they had, which weren't light, but not too heavy either. "Start with the smallest, lightest one. Then move up until you can't lift anymore. Sound good?" Peter nodded with a smile as he jumped off Mr. Stark's palm, taking off the wrist straps and running up to the weights that were so much larger than him. But, he couldn't be put down by that, because this was his moment to show the Avengers what he could do! Rubbing his hands together, Peter grabbed the weight. Everyone watched with bated breath as the boy lifted the weight with ease above his head. That was ten pounds, no light weight. "Now what?" he asked, not about to just let the weight drop. "Just put it down and go to the next," Steve said patiently. Peter nodded and gently set the dumbbell down, moving on to the next one, which was fifteen pounds. Again, he easily lifted the weight above his head for about thirty seconds before setting it down again. Again and again he lifted the weights, but started struggling when he hit the fifty pound mark. At sixty pounds, he was literally shaking in his effort to lift it. At seventy pounds, he grunted as he tried to lift it, but could barely get it over his head before he dropped the weight, breathing hard, his face red. There were six more weights, so he moved to the next one, which was seventy-five. He struggled a lot with this one, this time barely getting it off the ground before he collapsed to his knees, panting. Peter felt the ground rumbling so bad he actually fell over, only to be met with several adults, all of them looking down at him from their towering, skyscraper heights. It was scary, but the boy couldn't move at the moment. Tony knelt down first. "You okay, Spiderling?" When the boy nodded, he smirked. "Well that was one helluva show, Thumbelina. Feel like you could do a little more?" Peter nodded. "Yeah...let me just catch my breath?" He let out a gasp as he was grabbed around his middle by two large fingers and lifted from the ground. A water bottle cap was thrust into his hands filled with sweet, blissful water by a smirking billionaire. The teen couldn't thank Mr. Stark before he started chugging the liquid down, not stopping until it was empty. "That's much better, thanks." He sighed. "So what's next?" "We want to see how well you're able to stick to things," Bruce came forward, excitement in his voice. "We've seen you in action on certain objects, but we want to test in what climate you would stick. Like, can you stick to wet surfaces, frozen surfaces, things like that. Can you handle it?" Peter nodded, but then paused. "I think the chemical should be done by now, too," he said thoughtfully. "But, I have nothing to put it in and I really wanted to test it out. I mean, I have something to put it in, but no container since I didn't have time to measure it yesterday while I was building the shooter." Tony smirked and held out his hand to Banner, dropping the teen into the doctor's palm. "Yeah, I already thought of that. While you two were playing mad scientist, I made something for the kid. Be right back." Peter gave Doctor Banner a confused look, to which the man just shrugged. "I can never tell what Tony's thinking," he replied. While they waited for Tony to come back, Bruce let Peter off his palm to stick to the nearest wall. The entire group watched in fascination as they small boy climbed all the way to the top of the ceiling. Wanda followed when he got too high as a safety precaution, ready to catch the boy if he fell. But, Peter had all his concentration on his hands and feet, making sure they stuck to the surface of the smooth wall. When he turned to look down, he was met with the smiling face of Wanda, who waved to him. "How long do they want me to stay up here?" he asked, and the girl repeated down to the others. "You can come down any time you want, son. You didn't even have to climb that high," Steve laughed, imagining Peter's blush. "Well that's something you should have told me," Peter grumbled. He wanted to test his own abilities too, and someone was there to catch him just in case. So, he turned around and slowly let his hands off the wall and straightened out so he could just walk down the wall like it was nothing. A few times he had to catch himself because of the weird angle, but he was sure it was a pretty cool sight. And it helped him understand that he could stick to more than just metal this way. "Reminds me of when we first rescued him," Natasha laughed. "Freaked Tony out so bad to see him just walk down his suit." Peter grinned at the memory as he stepped onto the floor. "I wasn't sure I could do it, because I had never used my new abilities before Mr. Stark came into the lab. I had been hiding under the table they put my cage on, sticking to one of the table legs after they..." Peter stopped himself, unable to think about what the soldiers did back then. It seemed like so long ago, but it had only been two weeks since then. "It's okay," Bucky said, kneeling down. "I understand more than anyone how messed up Hydra can be. But, if you ever want to talk about it, just let me know and I'll be there to listen." Peter smiled up gratefully at the man and nodded. "Thank you," was all he said, and that was all that needed saying. "What did I miss?" Mr. Stark asked as he walked back into the room holding a brown bottle and something in his fisted hand. "Well, Peter just climbed up to the ceiling and literally walked back down," Sam said. "Freakiest thing I've ever seen, and I fought Ant-Man." "Friday, turn the sprinklers on the wall please," Steve asked and suddenly Peter was almost swept away by the river streaming down the wall and onto the floor. "Woah!" he cried, falling on his butt and just going with the current, that is until Rhodey reached down and plucked him from the water like a drowning bird. "Easy there, Spider-Head," the man laughed, though it felt weird to have a something so small actually literally sticking to him. "A little warning next time, Cap?" he asked the wincing blonde. "Th-thanks Mr. Rhodes." "Hey, you don't have to call me that, kid. Just call me Rhodey, okay? That's what everyone calls me anyway, except when I'm at work, then they call me Mr. Rhodes, or General." Peter's face was priceless when he told him that, his eyes wide and his mouth shaped like the perfect 'O'. "You're a general? That's amazing!" He hadn't ever met a general before, and he had a million and one questions, but they were interrupted by Mr. Stark literally grabbing Peter from the man's hand. "Okay, time to see if you stick." Tony said with a smirk, the teenager squirming in between his pointer and thumb. He pressed the boy to the wall and waited a minute before slowly bringing his hand away, but keeping one palm up under him just in case. And Peter was glad for the hand, because the minute Mr. Stark let go, he slipped at least a foot-to him-down the wall before he was able to feel his fingertips grip. "Phew, that was close," he laughed, looking back to see the giant adults watching him with worried faces. "I'm okay, just took a minute. I'm gonna start climbing now." And Peter did just what he said he was going to do. But, he didn't get very far before he lost his concentration, thinking about how well this was going, and he fell. Tony was glad he'd had his hand out, because the kid fell right into the center of his palm, face pale and eyes squeezed shut. "You okay, Pete?" Peter opened one eye, then let out an explosive breath and nodded. "Yeah, yeah....I'm good...just lost my concentration for a second." "What do you mean?" Bruce asked, coming over to inspect Peter for any injuries. "Concentration?" Peter nodded. "Yeah. It's like, when I focus on sticking to things, I do it, even if it's in the back of my mind, as long as I'm thinking about it, I can do it. I don't really know how it works, but it does. I think anyway. I wasn't really able to use my abilities back in the lab, spending almost all my time in that cage, at least until Sean came in. He let me out and set up a little obstacle course for me to use for exercise." The team all had the same look of pity on their faces, to which Peter freaked out at. "It-it's no big deal!" he cried, eyes wide. "I'm not in there anymore, so that part of my life is over!" He was telling the truth about that. His life had gotten better than it ever had, even with May. Sure she was great, but ever since they lost Ben, he'd lost a father figure of sorts. But, now when he looked around the room, he had so many male role models. But when he looked at Mr. Stark, he almost felt like the man was his father in a way. He couldn't explain it, but whenever the man held him in his hands, he felt....safe. Protected. And in a way, loved. He liked feeling that way. "Boss," Friday's voice came from the ceiling. "Happy says there's a woman screaming at the gate of the Compound. She says her name is May Parker." Peter's face went white as he looked up at Mr. Stark with horror. Aunt May was here!?

@sparrowrider @letsbeinspiredby @6inchicon @ixlovexirondad @carttorchdeatth

[richiefuckfacetozier]

Chapter 15: Under Pressure

Story: It’s Not My Fault

Pairing: Richie Tozier and Eddie Kaspbrak

Located on Archive of our own

For other chapters - | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 |

“She didn’t even let you tell her?” Beverly said in horror from the backseat of the car. Richie drove Eddie and Beverly to school the next day. They had started doing it when Richie's father gave him his mother's car after her DUI. 'The only useful thing Wentworthless has ever done for me.' Richie had said once.

“What a fucking bitch.” Beverly hissed.

Eddie fidgeted awkwardly at Beverly’s brashness. As angry as he was, she was still his mother. ��It was awful Bev. Then I was so terrified I might see her this morning that I made Richie help me sneak out the window and down a fucking tree.”

Richie laughed heartily, taking his eyes off the road to say to Beverly. “It was hilarious. He fell on the last branch and landed in my arms like a damsel.”

“EYES FORWARD!” Eddie screeched. “And it wasn’t funny! I saw my life flash before my eyes.” Eddie shoved Richie’s shoulder.

Richie scoffed, “Oh please, you fell like 4 feet.”

“You’re the cutest, Eddie.” Beverly laughed and ruffled his hair affectionately. Eddie scrunched his face at her. He ran his fingers through his hair to flatten it back down.

“I am not cute.” Eddie grumbled.

“Yes, you are.” Richie and Beverly said at the same time. Richie put his hand up and without even looking at it, Beverly perfectly high-fived him.

“How do you two do that?” There was a slight twinge of jealousy at how in sync Beverly and Richie always were.

“Rich might be your soulmate but he’s my other half.” Beverly poked Richie’s side. Eddie could not help but smile to himself at being called Richie’s soulmate.

Richie squirmed away from her poking since he is the most ticklish person around, “It’s true. She could probably guess what I am thinking right now.”

Eddie crossed his arms surveying them with doubt. He zeroed in on Beverly. “Alright, prove it. What is Richie thinking?”

“You don’t want me to say, I promise.” Beverly laughed.

“Do it, Bev.” Richie bounced in the driver’s seat excitedly. “Try to guess!”

She grinned at him and cracked her knuckles as if getting ready for a boxing match. “Alright, three things. One, what you are going to do about lunch since Eddie didn’t pack any food for either of you and you probably forgot your wallet.”

“Correct.” Richie nodded.

“You shouldn’t be driving without your wallet!” Eddie chastised.

Richie shrugged, “I keep my license in the glove compartment.”

Eddie opened the glove compartment to check then closed it roughly. “You’re an idiot. We can go off campus and get food, I brought money.”

Beverly put her hand over Eddie’s mouth to stop him from harping. “Two, if I brought weed for us to smoke later. The answer is yes.”

Eddie pulled her hand from his mouth glaring at the pair, “Guys, seriously?” 

“Listen,” Richie said with an air of superiority. “We are trying to cut back on cigarettes for you.” 

“And because cigarettes are making our lungs shit.” Beverly added in annoyance.

Eddie huffed, “Well, good because not to pull the dead dad card but he died of lung cancer you dipshits.”

Beverly shrugged, “Weed is better than nicotine anyway.”

“That’s true but harder to get in small-town stupidass Maine,” Richie complained.

“What’s the third thing he’s thinking about?” Eddie said bringing them back on task. 

Beverly smirked devilishly, “Three, sorry about this Eddie, he’s thinking about sex with you.”

Eddie's mouth gaped open and his has flushed bright red. He twisted in his seat to scream, “Fuck you, Beverly!”

She put her hands up in defense laughing, “It’s true!!”

“To be fair, I always am, so that one doesn’t really count.” Richie reached over and pinched Eddie’s cheek.

He batted the hand away, “Unlock the door, I’m gonna to fling myself out of the moving car.”

They all started laughing so hard their sides hurt. Eddie was grateful to have two of the best distractions in his life. Beverly and Richie were the best at cheering him up. When they quieted down, Beverly brought her hand forward to hold Eddie’s. They had the same size hands. Her’s were calloused just like Richie’s. He sighed and squeezed her hand kindly.

She hesitated then asked, “So what are you going to do about your mom, hun?”

He shared a quick glance with Richie. “Again I say, unlock the door so I can fling myself out of the moving car.”

“Eddie!” She laughed at his dark humor. “Are you going to try telling her you're gay, again?”

“Nope.” He said definitively.

“Come on, my fruity skittle, you have to try again until she listens.” Richie encouraged. He placed a hand on Eddie’s knee rubbing it soothingly. The attention from both of them was becoming overwhelming. Eddie did not want to have this conversation right now, but he had already decided what he would do after last night.

“No, I’m not going through that again. I will act like nothing happened because I know that’s what she’ll do.” Eddie let go of Beverly’s hand to turn in his seat and talk directly at Richie. “I’m going to get through school, graduate, and move away forever. That’s the only sensible option for me.” 

Richie removed his hand from Eddie’s knee and placed it back on the steering wheel. Eddie observed as his mouth turned into a thin line but he kept his eyes front refusing to acknowledge this latest confession.

Beverly, however, was not going to ignore it. “Eddie, that’s crazy. You can’t live a lie for a year and a half.”

He locked eyes with her incredulously. “I’ve been living a lie under that roof for 16 years, why bother being honest now. I won’t get to be myself until I’m far away from Derry.”

The car fell silent. Beverly was regarding Richie with caution, who was still staring forward in thought. His grip on the steering wheel tightened significantly. There is a deadly calm that passes over Richie when he is angry before he blows up or says what is wrong. Everyone in their friend group finds it extra unnerving because Richie is rarely truly mad.

He took a deep breathe then let it out. Eddie watched him do all this in confusion. He seemed to be trying to control the anger. What does he have to be angry about? Eddie thought.

“I love you for you and always will,” Richie said through gritted teeth. “But please stop talking about leaving forever unless I am in that equation. It is pissing me off.”

Eddie opened his mouth to snap at him but closed it deciding he would not go there. There was too much going on his head to be fighting with Richie. “I love you too.” Eddie whispered. “And of course. I go wherever the fuck you go.” Richie’s intensity eased and he smiled at Eddie for repeating the same words he said last night.

Beverly sighed sadly, “I love you both and I’m sorry your parents suck.”

“I think my mom is coming around. She loves Eddie.” Richie rolled his eyes grinning. “Wants to adopt him and hasn’t insulted me for being gay in a while.”

“Oh my god, that’s so precious!” Beverly squealed animatedly. “Do you think she suspects anything between you two?”

Richie nodded, “Definitely. My mom is too smart not to.”

Eddie felt his mouth dry up with nerves. “Oh god. I hope she doesn’t tell my mom,” Eddie grumbled. “But I really like her too so that’s nice.”

Richie pulled into the school parking lot trying to find a spot. It did not take him long because he had the best luck with parking spots. “How do you always get a front row parking spot!” Eddie laughed in disbelief.

Richie wiggled his eyebrows seductively, “Clean living, baby.”

“Ok. Sure, Trashmouth.” Eddie smirked.

Richie put the car in park but kept the heater running. They had some time before classes to sit in his car. Beverly pulled out a cigarette, saw the evil-eye Eddie was giving her, then put it back in her pocket. “How’s your mom been doing in general, Rich?” She asked.

“Bev, she’s been sober for 2 weeks.” He said with pride. “She went back to AA.”

Eddie gazed at him with surprise. He felt a pang of sadness that Richie had never told him something so important. “I didn’t know she ever went to Alcoholics Anonymous.”

“Oh yeah,” He turned his head toward Eddie. “She’s been going on and off for a decade but this is the most amount of meetings she has ever been too. It’s nice, but it will inevitably come crashing down soon.”

“Why?” Beverly asked in concern.

Richie took a deep breath and let it out. “My dad’s leaving her.”

Beverly immediately put her hand on his right shoulder, Richie placed his own on top of hers. She did not say anything right away. It blew Eddie’s mind how connected the two of them were. They were all an extremely connected group. Shared trauma will do that to you.

Beverly raised her face up and shouted, “Hey, universe! Go fuck yourself! Leave my gays alone.”

“Did you mean guys?” Eddie laughed.

She placed her other hand on Eddie’s shoulder. “I did not my love.”

“Alright, Richie,” Eddie decided to change the subject before one of them cried and got sappy. “What is Beverly thinking about.”

“Hmmmm,” He thought for a moment. “What did you have for breakfast Bev?”

She sat back in her seat crossing her arms with a challenging grin on her face. “I didn’t eat breakfast.”

“Alright, she is thinking about: our science test today, if Stanley is going to cancel their shopping plans this weekend, and whether Ben will finally ask her out. 

“Never going to happen,” Beverly sighed dramatically. “Sometimes I wonder if he really likes me or not. Then I see the way he looks at me and I am just like...kiss my fucking face, Ben Hanscom!”

“Why don’t you ask him out? Who says the guy has to do it?” Eddie suggested.

“Oh, I have. Three fucking times but he doesn’t think I am serious. No one ever takes me seriously.” She wrapped her arms around Richie’s shoulders and pretended to weep.

“Same!” Richie joined her fake crying charade.

“I wonder why.” Eddie commented sarcastically. He shoved them apart and added a forehead flick for good measure. “We should probably head inside.”

As Eddie opened the door the icy air hit his face harshly. He hated being cold more than anything. Richie walked around and slung his arm around Eddie’s shoulders knowing this about him. Normally he would berate the taller boy for being too openly affectionate, but the extra warmth was really welcoming. He let himself move closer into Richie’s side.

“I’ll see you two later, I’m going to try and catch Ben before homeroom.” Beverly kissed Eddie on the cheek kindly. “Sorry, again about your mom babe.” Then she looked at Richie. “And sorry about your dad. I love you both.” 

“We love you too, Bevvie.” Richie said smiling. She waved them goodbye and jogged toward the school.

Richie brought his face to Eddie’s ear whispering, “So my most beloved tootsie roll, I know we have already talked about not doing anything on Valentine’s Day next week but I was thinking since…”

“No, fuck Valentine’s Day.” Eddie interrupted him pulling out of the embrace. They were starting to be too obvious anyway.

“Come on Eddie! Please?!” Richie whined.

“No Richie, Valentine’s Day is a stupid commercialized holiday meant to make you buy overpriced flowers or chocolates, It makes single people feel bad and I don’t care for it. If you truly love your loved one then you would show it every day.”

“I wonder what that’s like.” Richie grumbled angrily.

Eddie stopped in his tracks staring at Richie, who turned around realizing Eddie had ceased walking. Eddie’s face was burning with rage. “Richie...what the actual fuck?”

“I’m sorry Eds. It’s just…” Richie grabbed his arm and pulled him to the side of the school building out of hearing range. A couple people glanced at them curiously but no one paid much attention. When they were safely away from others, Eddie pulled his arm away. 

Richie put his hands in his pockets taking a shaky breath, “Eddie, I want to go out on a real date with you.” Richie’s eyes were boring into Eddie’s with a lot of emotion. “As actual boyfriends.”

Eddie’s own face softened at that. “We go on dates, Rich.”

Richie shook his head. “I don’t want one of our usual ‘dates’. Where we go to the Aladdin Theater and have to sit in the back to hold hands. Which only happens if there is no one in the row with us. I don’t want to have a fake date where we have to invite everyone else just to make it look like it isn’t a date. I’m tired of the secrecy. I understand it, honestly, I do, but I am still tired of it. We are going on almost 5 months dating and it just feels like we aren’t moving in any real direction. In fact, sometimes it feels like we are moving backward. I just think we should go on a -”

“Ok!” Eddie yelled to stop his rambling. 

Richie stared at him, not believing he had successfully convinced him. “What do you mean, ‘Ok’?”

Eddie exhaled, “I mean ok. Let’s got on a real date.”

“Are you serious?” Richie searched his face for any sign that he was joking or wanted to take it back.

“Yeah, you have a car,” He went to hold Richie’s hand with a reluctant smile. “Let’s drive out of town and go on a fucking real date.”

Richie pulled him in closer with excitement making Eddie stumble into his chest. Richie kissed his cheek. “Wow, so this weekend?”

“This weekend sounds great.” Eddie paused and played with the zipper on Richie’s coat, then asked, “Have we really been dating for 5 months?”

Richie smirked at his boyfriend’s complete cluelessness. “We kissed September 14.”

“Shit...our 5 month anniversary is on Valentine’s Day. God damn it.” Eddie peered at him hopefully. If he could avoid a Valentine’s Day anniversary, he was going to try. “Alright, but you didn’t ask to be my boyfriend until my birthday in November.”

Richie brushed Eddie’s bangs to the side slowly. “I consider the kiss to be more pivotal than when I asked to be boyfriends. It’s hotter.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, “Such the romantic.”

“Only for you, babe.”

“Hey, Richie…” Eddie bit his lip anxious to ask this question.

Richie continued running his hand through Eddie’s hair absently. “Yeah?” 

“When Beverly called us soulmates...do you think she is right?” Eddie held his breath for an answer.

A bit of a blush spattered on Richie’s cheeks as he said, “Absolutely.” Without an ounce of doubt.

Eddie smiled up at him feeling just as much certainty. “Me too.”

The first bell rang signaling that they needed to head toward class. Eddie placed his hand on Richie’s shoulder squeezing it. “We’ll talk more later. Let’s go to homeroom.” He turned to walk away but Richie wrapped his arm around Eddie’s waist bringing him roughly into his chest. Richie leaned forward brushing his lips lightly against Eddie’s but not fully closing the distance. As if challenging Eddie to pull away. His hot minty breath washing over Eddie’s face made him shiver. His needs took over any logic and he put his arms around Richie’s neck pressing their mouths together.

Their lips parted quickly, wasting no time as their tongues rolled against each other. Their breathing was heavy and loud as Eddie sucked on Richie’s bottom lip. Both of them were practically panting.

Richie slid his hand under his jacket and up the front of Eddie’s shirt. His touch leaving a trail of burning in its wake. Eddie moaned as their bodies molded closer together. This just encouraged Richie as his other hand grabbed Eddie’s behind. Eddie gasped and kissed him harder practically bruising their lips. Richie kneaded him eliciting another groan from Eddie. He could barely focus with Richie touching him like this. Eddie was hot. Too hot. He needed them to stop right now.

Except he wanted to keep kissing Richie. If he could kiss Richie every day, all day, for the rest of his life, he would. Richie kissed down his jaw as he pulled Eddie even closer, flushing their bodies as one even through all the layers. Eddie rolled his hips against Richie who groaned. His lips pressed against Eddie’s neck, licking and biting into his skin.

“Don’t mark my neck,” Eddie breathed out.

“Fine.” Richie brought his lips back up to kiss Eddie’s. Then the moment was broken by the sound of the second bell.

“SHIT!” Eddie grabbed his bag and started running. Richie following on his tale. They ran up the school steps and flew through the halls until they reach their classroom.

Eddie swung the door open quickly. “I’m so sorry Mr. Clarke!” Eddie said breathlessly.

“My car broke down, had to run ten blocks here.” Richie lied easily.

The teacher frowned, “Sit down Mr. Tozier.” Richie and Eddie went to take their seats. Eddie made eye contact with Mike, who was laughing to himself at their appearance.

“Hold on Mr. Kaspbrak. You are wanted in the principal’s office.” Mr. Clarke held up a pink slip.

“For what?” Eddie wondered aloud. He was rarely called to the principal’s office anymore. His mother used to do it a lot more when she made him go to doctor’s appointments every week.

“I have no idea. Take the slip and go now.” Mr. Clarke insisted. Eddie glanced back at Mike and Richie. They had identical looks of confusion and Richie shrugged.

Eddie walked through the hallway slowly, trying to prevent a panic attack. The only explanation for being called to the office would be something his mother wanted. He mentally kicked himself for not going downstairs to see her in the morning. Sneaking out the window was a mistake. Eddie suddenly got nervous that she was taking him out of school for good. She was going to homeschool him and never let him out of her sight.

When he got to the principal’s office, he was ushered in right away. The principal of the school was an older man named, Jon Filch. He was a stern man, who lost his son years ago. It was one of the children taken from Derry too soon. Eddie always felt awkward around him, but he got that way with most male authority figures.

“Hello, Edward,” Principal Filch said in an exhausted voice. “Had a nice long shouting match with your mother this morning.”

Eddie put his hands on his face in embarrassment. “I’m so so sorry. We are fighting, so she tends to um...take out her anger out on everyone but me.”

He ran a hand through his grey mustache nodding. “Yes, I remember fondly her yelling at me when I was a vice principal at your elementary school.”

“Again, I’m sorry.” Eddie averted his eyes to his hands.

“Edward, she wants to pull you from all your classes with Mr. Richard Tozier. And I think -”

Eddie's anger flared up and he immediately shouted, “What?! That’s completely crazy. We share every AP class together!” His breathing was picking up as his voice rose in pitch, “And not all of them have a second class available. You can’t just - “

Principal Filch raised his hands in defense, “Edward! Relax. You are going to give yourself a panic attack.”

“How do you know I get panic attacks?!” Eddie yelled louder, breathing erratically.

“You used to clearly get them as a child. Please, breathe. Let me speak.” He stated firmly. Eddie’s eyes flashed distrustfully. Most adults in this town could not be trusted but he held back his anger.

“Please sit.” Eddie glanced down and realized he was standing with his hands clenched. He slowly sank down into the seat.

“Contrary to popular belief, I tend to side with students when it comes to their education. You know yourselves better than your parents think.” He picked up a stress ball and handed it to Eddie. He reluctantly took it, letting his hands squeeze the ball methodically. “From my conversation with your mother, I gathered some kind of relationship is happening between Richard that she is not a fan of?”

Eddie pressed his thumb into the ball aggressively, refusing to give the older man his attention. He focused on his finger with the gold pinky ring Richie gave him for his birthday. It calmed him to look at it, thinking about how much he cared about Richie. He wished people would be more understanding of them. People being his mother. 

“It’s not anyone’s business but your own.” Eddie inspected him with scrutiny, not sure he heard him correctly.

“One of the best parts of life is that you get to pick your friends. And they pick you in return. You don’t get to choose your family but you do decide how you handle life’s challenges together.” Flinch held his gaze trying to get a proper read on Eddie. It made him anxious being put on the spot in this way. “I know a little something about overbearing mothers. When my wife and I lost our son…” His voice cracked and he tried to clear it. He grabbed a cup of water on the desk, drinking it.

“Your son was Hughie. Right?” Eddie said solemnly.

“That’s right.”

Eddie nodded thinking back to a boy, who was about the same height as him before he passed. With bright green irises and red hair like Beverly’s. “He invited me to all his birthdays since we were 5. He was really sweet.”

“Thank you. My son always thought you were cool with your inhaler and fanny pack. Don’t ask me why, he was an odd boy.” Principal Filch played with his thumbs for a moment thinking. Eddie handed back the stress ball, which Filch accepted gratefully. “Anyway, when we lost our son, my wife went into superhero Mom mood. It drove the kids and me crazy. She nearly killed herself with how much she was taking on through her pain.”

He held Eddie's gaze steadily trying to see if Eddie understood him. “My point is, you and your mother have had loss as well. I’m sure that grief has manifested into the woman she has become. You just need to try talking to her and if that doesn’t work or feel safe, please come speak to me or any of our counselors.”

Eddie soaked all this in with humility. He could not remember the last time an adult was truly this kind to him. Mrs. Tozier had come around but they started off rocky, leaving him wary of upsetting her. The principal barely knew him and actively cared about his well being. 

“Thank you. I’ll think about it. But what are going to do about my AP courses? I can’t drop them! I don’t want to get stuck in this town.” Eddie gave him an apologetic expression. He knew Principal Filch had lived in Derry his whole life.

He grinned knowingly, “I wouldn’t want that for you either. So what we are going to do is make sure you sit on opposite sides of the classes you cannot switch out of and switch you into the classes you can.”

“That is completely unfair!” Eddie protested. “How can you take her side like this?!”

“I am not taking her side. But it was the best compromise I could come up with that pleased her enough not to take you out of school entirely.” He seemed sincerely sorry but that did not stop Eddie from being angry.

“Fine. Give me the new class schedule.” Eddie demanded. “Please.” He added dismissively. Mr. Filch handed over the schedule. Eddie took it and read it over quickly. He would have homeroom with Bill and Beverly now, so that was not too bad. Richie and him now only shared 2 classes when they were in all 7 together.

He turned around and began marching out of the office. He was ready to be an asshole and not say goodbye, except he stopped himself.

“Thank you for what you said. Richie and I are having a hard time balancing family and our relationship so it means a lot to hear some kind of support from an adult.”

“Anytime, Edward.”

He considered him for a moment, “I prefer Eddie.”

“Anytime, Eddie."

[angstymarshmallow]

Hearts on Sleeves (Seth x MC)

[A little note: I’ve been working on this fic on and off for a little while. I apologize because I’m kind of neglecting some of my requests but I really enjoy writing Seth and MC fics right now - because they always leave me with warm and fuzzy feels. Anyway here’s another one! Hope it’s enjoyable!]

[Summary: Seth needs a little help from Keegan (MC) as his wingwoman to impress a woman he meets at the club. She wrestles with her feelings for him the entire night until Seth follows after her].

[Word Count: 3421]

Keegan didn’t know why she agreed to leave her house tonight.

Actually; that was a lie. She knew why, but allowing herself to swayed by Seth’s annoyingly sappy blue eyes was another story entirely. All it took was one look and a series of pleas followed by an I’ll owe you one Iowa, for good measure to break her will. A firm no never stayed a firm no for long when it came to him. It never took much for her to practically melt into a puddle when Seth asked anything of her.

She kept telling herself it wasn’t her fault. He used his natural good looks for evil; turning them on her so fast that she had barely sputtered a response before eventually admitting defeat. It was frustrating to think about – but the more she knew Seth, the more she realized fighting her feelings would be a lot harder than she thought possible.

She was supposed to be happy with being just friends. Just friends had gotten them months of hanging out and binge-watching shows and movies together. But how long could she deny the possibility that she might have had unknowingly developed feelings for Seth Levine?

And it was those same feelings now that ended her here. Inside this dimly lit club, suffering the consequences for having feelings for one of her best friends.  Keegan wanted to drink herself under the table the more she lingered on those thoughts. Feeling miserable, she couldn’t enjoy her beer without thinking of what he wanted her to do tonight. Her job title tonight demanded her to remain mostly sober.

It was nearly a half an hour of sitting by a booth and sipping her drink when Seth reached over to lightly elbow her in the ribs. “That’s her.” He whispered into her ear. His voice was low as though he thought everyone else cared enough to overhear their conversation.

His fingers jerked in the blonde’s direction. “That’s the girl I’ve been thinking about asking out.”

She was pretty. Really pretty. Tall, and blonde with eyes that were the colour of chocolate. And when she laughed and Keegan caught a flash of teeth – pearly whites that almost seemed to glint as they caught a stray neon lights.

Great. Why did she have to be so pretty? She thought miserably to herself.

The stab of jealously had been so swift and so raw that it had taken her off-guard. Usually, she was good with setting that part of herself aside but in the moment once she met his stare – all she could think of why he hadn’t looked at her like that. She thought she’d seen glimmers of it in the past – the way his eyes clouded a little bit, and easy grin – but that had been then. And this was now.

And Seth was looking at the girl across the bar in awe.

Ugh. “Yeah, she’s so pretty.” She offered thinly.

He grinned as though he was unable to pick up the sudden animosity in her tone. “Yeah.” He tipped his head back to drink his beer. “I’ve noticed her come in a couple times since last week, but the thing is she’s always with her friends.” he explained.

“There’s safety in numbers.” Keegan muttered. At his quizzical glance, she felt the need to explain. “What I mean is – she’s probably doing that to ward off creeps from talking to her. It’s like a tactic a lot of girls use when they go out as a group.”

“Oh,” his brow furrowed. “I see, that totally makes sense.”

“Did you already try talking to her?” She snorted. “Because this won’t work if you already had. She’d probably recognize you.” She knew at least she would. There was something about Seth that had always demanded attention.

“I know that,” He made a face at her. “God, no. I watched a couple of other guys leave empty-handed last week so I figured my luck wouldn’t have been any different.” He turned those expressive blue eyes that had gotten her into this mess in the first place back to her. “Which is why I was hoping you could talk to her, and kind of –”

“Isolate her from her friends?” She interrupted, finishing his sentence for him.

He grinned. “Exactly!” Playfully, he bumped her shoulder. “See I knew picking you was the right decision.”

“Wait a minute,” she frowned lightly. “You mean to tell me I wasn’t even first choice?” She scoffed, “now I’m offended.”

“Well I don’t know,” his smile dropped a fraction and he shrugged before glancing away. “I thought it might have been kind of weird…” He trailed off.

Her drink nearly slipped from in between her fingers. Catching it in time, she carefully settled it back onto their table before getting to her feet. “Weird? Why would it be weird?” Her voice hitched a little higher. “We’re friends, aren’t we?” She prompted him.

He seemed to relax slowly; shoulders going slack as soon as he nodded back. “Yeah, good friends.”

“Great friends,” Keegan corrected insistently.

Seth smiled. “Great friends.”

His gaze went a little soft as they slid to her and held. For a moment, she couldn’t bring herself to tear away. Something in her insisted not to, and she held her breath. Sometimes a little voice told her she wanted great friends to mean something more and as he kept his eyes trained on her; she wondered if the thought had ever cross his mind.

They both glanced away at the same time and Keegan swore she saw a slight blush on Seth’s cheeks before she excused herself. The silence between them had turned awkward. “Alright,” she rubbed her hands together. “Lemme work my magic – be back soon okay?”

He gave her a thumbs-up.

Shaking her head, she quickly crossed the room. She wedged between crowds of people, muttering hasty apologies when she bumped into one until she made it across the other side of the room. As she drew closer to the blonde, she made a mental note of how many friends she had with her. Five. She counted at least five; all of which in seconds had glanced curiously at her the moment they noticed her presence. Of course, her friends were all pretty too. They were all similar sizes and dressed in clothes that seemed a little too tight for Keegan’s tastes as Keegan drew closer.

Here we go. Keegan gave her the one Seth had been crushing on in particular a smile, “hey.”

The woman glanced up at her, perfectly thin eyebrows arching up curiously. “Hey,” it wasn’t exactly friendly but Keegan hadn’t expected any differently. “Do I know you?”

“No, I think this is the first time we’ve met.” She responds smoothly; already familiar with the role she had to play. “But I just had to come over and mention how much I love your shoes,” she pointed briefly to them and watched the girl’s lips curve into a fraction of a smile. “Rebecca Minkoof?”

“Thanks,” she turned slightly away from her friends, leaning a little as her eyes piqued with interest. “And yeah. They’re actually new and I brought them here to test out.” All seven inches of them seemed to gleam at Keegan in response.

“You should test them out on my friend over there,” Keegan jerked her chin in the direction of Seth. His eyes were trained on his phone, but she had a funny feeling he was watching them.

The blonde pursed her lips, “he is cute.” She responded after a hesitant beat.

“And he’s really sweet, not like the rest of the assholes you probably have dated before.”

“Excuse me?” Her eyes narrow.

“You heard me,” she shrugged. “Sweet guys are the ones you stay up all night and laugh with. They’re the ones that kiss you good night and hold you when nothing seems like it’s going right.” The more Keegan rambled, the more she realized Seth had done all these things – he was the sweetest guy she had ever known. “They don’t mind going on coffee runs with you no matter the time, even if it’s three am in the morning and they’ve got work a couple hours before.” A small smile slid across her lips, “they’re the ones you introduce to your parents for the first time because you know they aren’t going anywhere.” She blinked rapidly, shaking her head as she leveled the blonde with a solemn stare. “You don’t realize it, but they’re the ones that will love you when it counts and they won’t stop loving you.”

The blonde’s eyes widened at her. She blinked a few times; seemingly looking speechless as Keegan felt a blush crept up her cheeks. “Wow that was – that was a lot.” The girl searched her eyes, “are you sure you’re not the one into him?”

Keegan nearly choked on her own spit. “I-what?” She laughed, but even her voice had nearly sounded too strange to her own ears. They climbed higher in pitch as she sputtered to explain, “I – we –” she shook her head, “we’re friends. And all I’m saying as his friend – Seth Levine is worth knowing.” And falling for. She gave the girl a smile for good measure.

Seconds passed between them as though the blonde was deliberating on something. “Alright,” she said abruptly. “You’ve convinced me. He does sound like the whole package,” she sighed wistfully, “and I could definitely use the whole package right now.”

“You and me both sister.”

She laughed, raising her glass to clink with the rum and coke Keegan had brought over with her. “Cheers to new friends.”

“To new friends.” Keegan repeated, after a split second of hesitation. She kept her smile in place as their glasses clinked but they nearly faltered altogether as the woman dumped the rest of her drink down her throat.

“Well, wish me luck.”

She gulped. “Uh, luck..?”

She winked and Keegan observed as her tall and curvy figure sashayed across the club until she was mere inches away from Seth’s booth.

His expression brightened the moment he caught sight of her and with it Keegan’s stomach shrank. She watched them a little longer as the woman slid inside the both. They chatted animatedly; eyes locked on each other and she laughed at all of Seth’s jokes – like Keegan knew she would.

Watching them made her feel suddenly uneasy; her stomach cramping at the sight of the two of them until she felt compelled to look away. Why was she watching anyway? She had done her job. 

She became his wing woman. It was just a pity that it only took being his wing woman for her to realize how completely stupid she was. She agreed to shove him towards the direction of another woman. Another woman that wasn’t her.

It had taken her a lot of speculation to admit all those things she said about sweet guys; realizing as she spoke all of it had been for Seth. He was who she had been thinking about. He as the only person she could almost picture bringing home to meet her parents. 

The way she saw Seth, was never this clear and never this certain before. She didn’t just want to be friends, or even great friends for that matter. She wanted to be more. And standing around like a loser, watching him flirt with someone else wasn’t helping her self-confidence.

She polished the rest of her drink before setting it down on the counter again. She needed to get out of here; she needed to remember how it was between them – the effortless banter and name calling; the nights of falling asleep together. She closed her eyes for a moment, taking deep breaths before finally deciding to call it a night.

She didn’t waste any time in leaving; only pausing to send Seth a quick text.

Hey, leaving. This place isn’t really my scene. See u tomorrow?

Her phone didn’t chime back.

She waited a minute longer before swallowing back her sense of disappointment. She grabbed her coat and headed towards the door.

She told herself not to care so much; she had no right to. Seth was in his right to spend with whoever he wanted. Hadn’t she readily done the same? And yet, she couldn’t deny the simple fact - it did bother her.

And all she could think of  as she hastily yanked the entrance door open, was his sappy blue eyes. The sandy blonde hair and the goofy grin he wore when he was telling a joke. The unnerving way he knew how to tell when she had a bad day. 

It was all she could think about as her feet hit the sidewalk.

-

Keegan couldn’t have been standing for more than ten minutes for a taxi when she heard her name. Her eyes followed the sound of the voice and had widened slightly at the sight of Seth’s approach.

He had this weird look in his eyes, eyes almost too bright for her comfort. Apprehension filled her chest, unsettling her as she waited for the blonde to appear behind him. When she didn’t, Keegan frowned.

He stopped in front of her; his breath slightly uneven as though he had just finished running a marathon. “Jesus Iowa, did you have to leave in such a hurry?” He grumbled in between breaths.

She blinked up at him in surprise as he straightened himself upright. “I –” she stopped short, “what? What’re you doing here?” She slid her gaze past him, jaw tensing as she spoke. “Shouldn’t you be back in there with what’s-her-face?”

“Amber,” he corrected. “Her name’s Amber but that doesn’t really matter.”

“And why not? You’re the one that convinced me that you two had a thing.” She folded her arms, jutting her chin at him.

“I did, and I was wrong.” He responded dismissively, as though it hadn’t mattered. “She was just some girl that belonged as a fantasy in my head. Not the real thing.” He waited until she met his stare before he continued, “besides we didn’t click.”

“But I thought –” she remembered seeing how cozy they looked when she was watching – how easily it was for them to laugh. “But I thought you two were having fun.”

“Oh we were,” his eyes didn’t waver. “We had fun talking about how you’ve got feelings for me.” He said the last part casually while her own breath hitched.

For a moment she couldn’t speak and glanced away. Then she stammered to find the right words. “Th-that’s ridiculous.” She tried to scowl but it faltered the moment she looked back at him. “I don’t have feelings for you.” She had spent the whole night telling herself she did; but the moment he said the words out-loud – he made it real.

And she was afraid. Absolutely terrified.

Seth Levine wasn’t just another guy. He was dependent. Funny. Smart. He made her laugh till she couldn’t see straight, till her eyes filled with tears. He made her smile and groan about how cheesy bad romance movies were. He never hesitated to pick up her calls or allow her inside his apartment during the wee hours of the morning after a bad fight with whatever asshole she had been dating at the time.

Seth wasn’t just another guy. And she didn’t think she could survive if she didn’t have him inside her life.

“That’s…that’s…” She trailed off; refusing to meet his gaze again.

“Iowa,” he interrupted. His voice was surprisingly soft and his free arm slid around her in a way that was more intimate than just being great friends. “When I asked you come out tonight, it wasn’t really because of her. I mean sure – she’s hot, but I was just –” his face twisted, “trying to use her as an excuse to forget about you. The same way I’ve been using other girls to forget about you.” His other hand closed the distance between them to cup her cheek, lightly coaxing her to meet his warm stare. “I hate seeing you date other people.”

A shaky laugh escaped her throat. “I hate seeing you date other people too.” She confessed softly. Her pulse jumped when she felt him move visibly closer. “I’m terrified Seth.”

“I’m terrified too.”

“You just –” she inhaled deeply, “you just mean a lot to me. You’ve been my first real friend. The first real person that wanted to know me, the real me – and not the version I pretend to be around cameras.”

“And you’re the first girl that knows all the different sides of me. The first that hasn’t run for the hills despite all the skeletons inside my closet. It’s so easy to push people away when you hide through several layers of sarcasm and humor” His fingers drew tiny circles across her skin and her pulse jumped again. “But with you, it’s different. I’ve shown you more of me than I have with anyone else.” His lips curved, eyes crinkling at the corner as his voice softened. “So how about we give this we thing a try?”

She could feel his breath on her cheeks and his lips by her own. By all accounts, they were a few inches away and a question was inside his eyes as he waited expectantly for her answer. There was a look of vulnerability to his stare and she knew staring into his eyes that there were no pretenses between them now. No bullshit. No subject change to hide under. It was just the two of them, huddled close together despite how chilly the evening breeze and forgot the rest of the world around them.

Her hands slowly looped around his neck, and she found herself pressing closer to touch his lips. “I think I’d like that.”

He kissed her then; both hands cupping the sides of her face the moment their lips met. Keegan’s nerves felt as if they exploded –tiny sensations rippled, making her shudder before she gripped the back of his baby hairs. And the world around her shifted, before it seemed to fall away, fading into nothing as she moaned into his mouth, kissing him back softly. She hadn’t realized how much wanting to kiss him had become a fantasy until he was right here – in front of her; pressing himself against her. He was real and this moment was real, because as soon as their lips touched for the first time. Everything clicked.

Their lips slid together perfectly, kissing and nibbling as Keegan melted into his touch. Her knees felt unsteady, and her right foot had managed to slide right up as he deepened the kiss. Her mouth slide open a fraction enough for his tongue to quickly dart inside, drawing another soft moan from her lips once they kissed again.

She couldn’t tell how long they stood there; wrapped in each other’s embrace exploring each other’s smooth lips for the first time. But she knew, the moment they pulled away long enough to breathe that this was only the beginning. One beautiful beginning that she didn’t want to rush as she grinned up at him.

He grinned back.

“Damn Iowa, if I knew you were such a good kisser. I might’ve kissed you a lot earlier.”

Playfully bumping his shoulder, she snorted. “Are you trying your Seth charm on me?” She pretended to roll her eyes, “because I’ll have you know –” she lowered her voice, “it’s actually working.”

He laughed. “I knew I’d worn you down eventually.”

“And it only took you a couple months. Coincidentally, you’re a very patient man.” Before she could pull away completely, Seth entwined her hands with his. The weight felt comfortable. Familiar. Perfect.

“I’m a patient man when I need to be. Besides,” he dipped his head slow suddenly and Keegan balked until she realized his intention. His lips touched hers briefly until she responded, they grew in intensity.

They remained locked together, clinging to one another until Keegan felt light-headed enough to pull away first.

He was grinning down at her, expression almost smug. “Totally worth the wait.”

A blush crept up her cheeks. She avoided looking at him as her heart fluttered from his words. Trying to scowl, she clucked her tongue. “God, how is it possible that you’re so hot and insufferable at the same time?”

“It’s a gift.” He grinned. He squeezed her hand as they walked towards his limo.

Shaking her head, she couldn’t help but smile back up at him, knowing all too well those sappy blue eyes of his made it hard to even pretend to be upset at him. “Must be.” She sighed airily and he laughed. “My place or yours?”

“Doesn’t matter Iowa, either way I’ll be seeing a lot more of you.”

-

[ashlynblack30-blog]

A Twist Beginning  Part 1

Chapter 1

Harry Potter had rarely ever been into downtown London, and never had he been in a place called Diagon Alley. The cobbled streets were lined with stores bursting with the strange and unusual. With magic. Real magic. He saw strange people dressed in strange clothes, much like the stuff Uncle Vernon wore to bed. A robe of some sort, but a little nicer, and slightly different. Harry looked up to the giant of a man standing next to him. His name was Rubeus Hagrid, but he said to just call him Hagrid. Hagrid was well over seven feet tall, and his large feet shook nearby potted plants. Just mere hours ago, Hagrid busted down the door of the small shack the Dursleys had dragged him to. For a while now, Harry had been getting letters delivered to him, almost five a day. It was strange because nobody Harry knew would talk to him, so who was sending him letters? The strangest thing of all was that they were being delivered to him by owls. Not the Postman. Owls. After that, several more came. Even more after that. Finally, Uncle Vernon couldn’t handle it. He dragged all of them out to a tiny island to ‘vacation’. Harry knew it was so they, whoever ‘they’ was, couldn’t find him. He still got a letter, but it was not delivered by an owl. It was delivered by Hagrid. That was when his normal life went crazy. Harry Potter was not a normal boy. He was a wizard. Hagrid directed Harry to a large shop, labeled “Madam Malkin’s Robes”. Harry turned to ask what he was doing here, only to find Hagrid gone. Harry became nervous. What was he to do? He didn’t know anything. He only just gotten his hands on some money. The Dursleys never left anything laying around, especially not any money so Harry could find it and buy himself something. They would hate for him to have anything nice or something he wanted. Suddenly, a woman’s voice floated around the corner. “Please hold still dear, I can’t measure you correctly with you wiggling all over the place like this.” Harry followed the voice to see a middle-aged woman bending down to measure a black robe on a blonde haired, grey eyed boy. The boy saw Harry and smiled. Harry smiled tentatively back at him. He gave a small wave and stepped a little closer. The woman stood and turned around, just now noticing Harry. “Oh, I am so sorry dear, I didn’t see you there. Hogwarts, I presume?” The lady said. Harry only nodded. Hogwarts was the Wizarding school that he had been accepted into. That is where his parents went. He had only just figured out what had really happened to his parents, and where he had gotten his odd lightning shaped scar. He didn’t really want to think about it. The lady directed him to the pedestal next to the blonde boy and told him to sit tight. “Hello. I am Draco Malfoy. What’s your name?” The boy, Draco, said. Harry was glad it wasn’t him who had to start the conversation. He didn’t know what he would say. His cleaning and cooking skills were great. His social skills, not so much. “I am Harry Potter. It is nice to meet you.” Harry replied. He waited for a gasp of surprise, a intake of breath. He knew what he did as a child, and knew how people would react. But no. The boy did nothing but smile at him and nodded his head. “Would you like to meet my father, Harry? I am sure he would love to meet you.” Draco said. Harry smiled and shook his head vigorously. At that moment, the lady came back and hurried to finish his and Draco’s robes. After their robes had been finished, Draco had led Harry to the front of the store to meet his parents. Harry was filled with joy. His first friend! Draco was very nice. He taught Harry all about the Wizarding world. He told him about Quidditch, the most popular sport here, according to him. The houses at Hogwarts each had a house team, and Draco was sure he’d get a place on the Slytherin House team. How he knew he would be in Slytherin, Harry didn’t know. Soon, Harry heard a bell chime, and saw someone who was unmistakably Draco’s father walk in. Same blonde hair, although his was long and held back into an elegant ponytail, and the same grey eyes. “Hello, Father. I have made a new friend, and he would like to meet you.” Draco said to the man. Harry looked into the man’s sharp eyes and smiled. “Hello, sir. I am Harry Potter. It is a pleasure to meet you.” Harry said to him and held his hand out. The man grabbed his hand and shook it firmly. “The same to you. I am Lucius Malfoy. How do you do?” He replied formally. Harry smiled at him. The trio walked out into the streets of Diagon Alley and got to know each other. Mr.Malfoy bought the boys ice cream from a sunny shop down the street from Madam Malkin’s, and Harry ate it excitedly. He had never had ice cream before. His cone was filled with vanilla, and Harry almost cried. He had never gotten anything, not even a room. A small cone of vanilla ice cream was heaven to Harry. “Harry? Are you ok?” Mr.Malfoy’s startled voice said to Harry, who realized he was crying. He wiped his tears away, embarrassed and ashamed. The Dursleys would have punished him for crying “ Oh, yes sir. It’s just, I’ve never had ice cream before. It is amazing! Thank you so much, Mr.Malfoy.” Harry replied. Mr.Malfoy looked at him for a minute. “You’ve never had ice cream before?” Draco said suddenly. Harry shook his head sadly. “Draco, floo home with Harry. Mother will finish both of your school shopping. I need to ask you something, Harry. And please be honest. You won’t get in trouble, I promise.” Mr.Malfoy said, his tone leaving no room for argument. Harry and Draco nodded. “Where have you been living, Harry? And what has happened for the past eleven years there?” Mr.Malfoy asked him. “I have been living with my Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia, and my cousin Dudley. I sleep in a broom cupboard underneath the stairs, and I cook and clean for the family. Sometimes, Aunt Petunia lets me eat if clean the house quickly enough. But if I don’t, sometimes she hits me with a frying pan. But that is ‘cause I’m bad…” Harry said, a little quietly. Mr.Malfoy’s face was red. He spun around on one heel, and left the two boys in the middle of the street. “C’mon, Harry. I can show you my room.” Draco said after a few seconds of staring at Mr.Malfoy’s retreating form. Harry smiled and followed Draco, but apparently was too slow, because Draco grabbed his hand and made him go faster. Harry almost tripped over the people in the streets, being pulled this way and that by the harried Draco. Finally, they stopped at a fireplace inside a store. Draco went to the mantle, pulled down a jar of whitish powder and some into the fire. The flames grew and turned a startling emerald green. He looked at Draco for a minute, then realized why he hadn’t done anything yet. Draco was waiting for him. Harry stepped into the green flames as Draco yelled, “Malfoy Manor!” Harry was spinning, faster and faster, the green flames swirling around him, until finally he was thrown out of the pleasant warmth of the fire, and onto a cold marble floor. Harry pushed his glasses, which had gone slightly askew, back up his face. He looked around, and his mouth dropped open in awe. It was huge! White, towering, limestone pillars were on either side of the fireplace and the other two entry ways. Harry assumed they were in the living room, judging by the large couch and the glass coffee table on an antique shag rug. He looked up at Draco, who had a slight smirk on his face. He held out a hand to Harry, who took it gratefully. Draco lead him through one of the grand entry ways, and into a gleaming kitchen. The stove had six burners on it and the counters were made of shining granite. Harry gaped at the sheer size of it all. Draco gave him a quick tour of the house, and lead him up a pair of stairs. The ascent seemed to take forever, and by the time they reached the landing at the top, Harry was ready to sit down. It had been quite the day. Draco opened a grand oak door, and declared the room within his own. Harry saw a bed, ran across to it, then collapsed onto it. He felt Draco crawl into the bed next to him, and tug on the covers. Harry, reluctantly, got up and let Draco cover himself and Harry in the blanket. Harry was asleep within minutes. Harry awoke to the sound of a loud popping noise. He shot up out of the bed, and saw a big nosed, bat eared, tiny creature. It had what looked like a pillowcase wrapped around itself like a toga, and Harry couldn’t help but drop his jaw. He looked over to a slightly groggy Draco who was rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “Buggo, what do you want?” He said to the creature. The thing, Buggo, pulled on its ears and spoke in an obnoxiously high voice. “Madam Malfoy told Buggo to get the two sirs. She said that dinner is ready in the Family Dining Room.” Then he disappeared with a loud pop. Harry just stared at the spot the thing had been at. “What was that?” Harry asked Draco, who still hadn’t completely woken up yet. “Who? Oh, Buggo? That’s just one of our House Elves. They pretty much do everything for us. They cook, clean, and run our errands. They’re pretty helpful.” Was Draco’s nonchalant response. Harry just nodded and followed Draco out of the room into the hallway. They went down some stairs, and turned left, then right, then right again, until they finally came to a small, but elegant dining room. A woman was sitting at the edge of the table. This had to be Draco’s mother. The woman had the same blonde hair as the males, but instead of grey, had piercing blue eyes. When the boys entered the room, she smiled, and the whole room seemed to grow brighter. “Good evening boys. Are you ready for dinner?” The woman said politely. As if on que, both of the boys stomachs rumbled loudly. The nice woman laughed and stood up. “I guess so. Hello, you must be Harry, am I correct?” The woman said to Harry as she piled his plate high with delicious smelling food. Harry smiled and nodded. He stretched his hand out and the nice woman took it. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Harry. My name is Narcissa Malfoy. You can call me Mrs.Malfoy or Mother. Either one is fine.” The woman, Narcissa, said. The three sat down to eat their food, but were only able to enjoy it for a minute, because at that time, the fireplace roared, and out walked Mr.Malfoy. He brushed himself off, and looked at Harry with a wide smile on his face. “So, Harry, I was talking to a good friend of mine at work, and it just so happens, that he agrees with the fact that you should not be living with Muggles. So, you are going to be staying with us for the time being. So from now on, you can call me Father, and Mrs.Malfoy, Mother.” Mr.Malfoy said, his grin almost splitting his face. Harry blinked. He rubbed his eyes. He was staying here? “No more Dursleys? I can stay here, with you guys? You will be my parents?” Harry asked hopeful that it was all real. Mr.Malfoy, Father, nodded. Harry leapt up and pulled Draco up with him. He gave his new family members great big hugs. This was the best day ever! And tomorrow, he would be boarding the Hogwarts Express and going to Hogwarts. Draco looked so happy. “We can have sleepovers every night! And I’ll never have to invite you over! This is the best!” Draco shouted, positively ecstatic. He grabbed Harry’s hand and pulled him back to his room. They jumped on the bed and talked about what they thought would be at Hogwarts. (I heard there is a giant squid in the Black Lake there.) Later, Buggo popped back into the room with two trunks full of school supplies. He told the boys that they needed to get to sleep soon. They had a long day ahead of them. Harry and Draco crawled onto Draco’s bed, got under the covers, and were both asleep within minutes. Harry dreamed of flying broomsticks and giant squids all night.

[the-easy-lay]

untitled coffeeshop au

1.

5 PM and people came rushing in as usual. To be fair, people came rushing in all the time, and every shift was a very busy shift at Stone Cold Coffee, the tiny coffee shop in a corner of Shepherd’s Bush, London. They had very good coffee, very nice seats and interior (though always densely packed with customers), and very good-looking employees. If only they treated such good-looking employees with more kindness, Roger Taylor thought woefully, as he rushed to the counter to prepare three more espressos. He had been constantly on his feet since six that morning, running back and forth between the cashier, the coffee machines and the kitchen, with only a thirty-minute break to have lunch, go to the toilet and catch his breath. They were understaffed so a barista like him couldn’t get away with the extra work, but to be honest, he would have taken all that work anyway, he badly needed the money. He handed the customers their drinks, then headed back to the cashier.

“Welcome to Stone Cold Coffee, may I have your order?”

The customer hesitated a bit. “Um, I’ll have a regular latte, please.” He had very long, dark curly hair that would normally look very funny and odd on other people, but it suited him well, Roger noticed.

“Right, and your name is…”

“Brian.”

Roger grabbed a regular-sized cup and scribbled ‘Brian’ and ‘latte’ on it, before accepting the money and giving back the change. After taking two more orders, he ran to the grinder, poured in a carefully measured amount of coffee beans and finished the drinks in under five minutes. He called Brian and the others to the counter, then hurried off to serve the next wave of customers. His hands were sore and one of the blisters had popped because of the heat from the coffee cups. He wiped his bleeding hands and mopped his sweaty forehead with a tablecloth; his shift would end in less than an hour.

The hours were long, and the management was unnecessarily harsh, but at least the pay was decent enough for him to support himself and send some to his mum every month. One of the reasons they kept him, he had been informed, was because of his appearance – fluffy short blond hair, big blue eyes, and defined muscles in his arms. Not that he ever cared about how he looked, but many times he had found that being so handsome was definitely to his advantage. It was also an inconvenience: female customers often slipped him their numbers written on the receipts and he received flirts and (often rude) comments along with drink orders every day. Roger had long learned how to politely decline, telling them that he wasn’t interested, that he didn’t have the time.

“Dominique, I’m out!” He called to his colleague at exactly 6 PM, untied his apron and went out from behind the counter. He couldn’t feel his feet anymore, he had gotten used to moving on numb feet but that didn’t mean it was a pleasant sensation. Good thing he didn’t have work at the coffee shop the following day, only an eight-hour shift at the university lab. At any rate, cleaning up microscope lens and preparing tissue samples was much less physically demanding than running wild to fill the endless orders.

“Excuse me.” 

Roger stopped in his tracks and turned around, his coat only half-buttoned. It was Brian, the curly-haired customer from earlier, with the coffee cup in his hand. 

“Yes, was there something you needed?” He shifted his feet uncomfortably, itching to come back to his flat and sleep the exhaustion away. He prayed this wasn’t another one of those whiny, demanding customers who wanted a refund because they had ‘ordered the wrong drink’ and now they ‘didn’t like it at all’, and the coffee shop was ‘responsible’ for that.

“Well, you should take a look at this,” Brian handed him the now empty paper cup. He examined it and to his horror, found a faint blood stain on the side. The blood must have come from the blister on his thumb. This could very well earn him a report to the manager - bloody coffee cups were not aesthetically pleasing in the slightest, not to mention hygienic concerns.

Roger tried to keep a straight face. “I am terribly, terribly sorry about this. I should have checked all the cups beforehand. I hope this hasn’t affected the quality of the drink? How did you enjoy your…” He squinted at his own messy handwriting. “…latte?”

“It was very good latte, thank you.” Brian’s expression was unreadable, Roger couldn’t tell exactly how displeased he was. “May I ask where the blood came from?” 

Nosy bastard, digging up details for his complaint. “I, uh, it was an accident. It was from my hands, I’ll make sure to wear gloves next time. I’m very sorry about this, I will get you another latte right away.” Roger wondered if that was enough for the customer to keep his mouth shut. It was definitely worth staying behind for an extra ten minutes if it meant he could keep his job.

“That won’t be necessary, it’s alright,” Brian said, and then all of a sudden took Roger’s hands in his. Roger held his breath as the stranger studied the raw skin and swollen fingertips. He had been practicing for hours last night on the kit, and as a result his hands greatly suffered. ““Are you okay?” Brian finally let go of his hands and asked, his voice oddly gentle. 

“I’m really sorry. It won’t happen again,” he mumbled awkwardly. “I have to go, my shift is over. Please ask the remaining staff for assistance.” He quickly walked away, out of the crickety door with the ringing bell of Stone Cold Coffee, to the bus stop where he would catch a ride home.

Roger wouldn’t see Brian again for another week, but he spotted Brian’s distinct curls the moment the man entered the café. He was pouring cream onto a cappuccino as Dominique took the orders. “One latte and two black iced,” she shouted to him.

 “Got it.” Roger began to make the drinks, taking extra care with Brian’s latte. He even poured more coffee than usual into the paper cup, filling it to the brim. When he handed out the cups, Brian was busy reading a book, too absorbed in it to notice him.

“Thank you very much,” the bloke said anyway, nice as he was.

Roger had wanted to be recognized for what he was good at, but there were many other things he was good at and certainly much more passionate about than handling espresso machines. Now here he was, mixing drinks five days a week. On Saturday, he worked as a lab assistant in the biology lab of the East London Polytechnic. The truth was that he was earning more as a barista than most of his friends as researchers, and besides, he was never too keen on biology, it just happened to be one of the subjects he had been good at. A college degree in biology in hand, working all week with two jobs, and yet he was still after something else. The very thing that had motivated him to leave Cornwall for the great city of London, the prospects of a career in music.

On their third encounter, Brian seemed to recognize him, because he walked straight up to the counter where Roger was brewing coffee. “Hello. I’d like to have a regular latte, please,” he said with a smile.

Roger damn near dropped the spoon. He tilted his head, “Sorry, this is not where you order. The cashier’s that way.” He gestured towards Dominique.

“Oh right. I’m sorry.” Brian hurried to join the queue. He looked exactly the same as the first time they met. Unruly, very curly curls on his head and dressed modestly in a white shirt and slim dark trousers. A short while later, Brian came to the counter for his latte. He took the cup and slipped into Roger’s hands a rolled-up bill. Roger didn’t have enough time to thank him; he had already left for his table. It was a fiver, which was worth more than the latte itself, along with a small piece of paper that said, “Meet me at the end of your shift?”

At 6 sharp, Roger wiped the counter one more time with a wet cloth and washed his hands. Brian was still sitting at a table in the corner, poring over an absurdly thick book.

“So. You wanted to see me.” Roger untied his apron and draped it on the back of the wooden chair. He had never sat in this chair before, not as a customer. He looked out the window, the street was full of busy people walking home to their families after a long day at work. It was a nice view, he could see the opposite shops and houses and lampposts and phone booths, a slice of London, basically. 

Brian set down his book. “Yes, I hope you don’t have any business to attend to right now?”

“No, I don’t. I’m done for the day.”

“You must be really tired. The cafe is so busy.” 

“Indeed.” Roger nodded distractedly. He had no idea why Brian wanted to talk to him. He was wary, this could be about that bloody coffee cup, which was such a pity, because Brian had seemed really nice. Dominique waved at him from behind the counter, motioning for him to move out, they were going to clean up the place and close for the day. “Um, we could talk outside? It’s about closing time here.”

Brian got his coat and scarf and they headed outside. It was so cold Roger could feel his nose going numb immediately. The sky was getting dark, the brick buildings cast shadows upon them, and the flow of people on the street thinned.

“What’s your name? I never knew, and you already know mine, don’t you?” Brian was a head taller than him. He suddenly felt so small.

“Yeah, I’m Roger Taylor. And you’re Brian, you always drink latte.”

Brian laughed. “So you do remember me. You guys have excellent latte.” 

Roger laughed too and he wasn’t sure why. He saw Dominique leave, headed for her tiny house to her three children, and then the store manager, who locked the front door and nodded at him before turning the corner. “I thought you were not happy with my service. On that day, you know, when there was blood on your cup.”

“Well, I wiped it off, so no harm done. I had no problem with that, actually. I’ve never met a drummer who works as a barista.” Brian looked at him meaningfully.

“You know?” Roger was surprised. “How could you tell?”

“I saw your hands.” Once again, Brian took Roger’s hands, peeled off the gloves to reveal the pinkish new skin. Roger could feel the roughness of Brian’s fingers as they brush across his.

“And you play the guitar.” He was sure of it: the calluses on the fingertips and the trimmed nails on his left hand for fretting, the long sharp nails on his right hand for fingerpicking, the long, double-jointed fingers. “Are you in a band, like, full-time?”

“Yeah. Musicians are easy to recognize, you see. Just take a look at their hands.” Brian put the gloves back on for him. “No, I teach maths and physics at a nearby grammar school, and music is more like a dream. A passion. I am in an amateur blues band, though. Would you like to see me play sometime?”

“Sure. That sounds great.”

“When are you free? Friday, Saturday or Sunday?”

“Friday, then.” He didn’t have to think about it, every day was the same.

“I’ll drop by before six to pick you up. Is that okay?”

“Yeah. It’s late, I should get going or I’ll miss the night bus.” A random melody played in his head. He couldn’t make sense of this encounter, but it felt right. They were both musicians, although not professionally, it was one thing that they were both pursuing. He wasn’t alone. 

“See you next week, Roger.” Brian said and turned to walk the other way.

[bookloversreviewer]

COVER REVEAL

Title: Kiss Me Again

Series: Star Crossed Love #1

Author: Vivian Wood

Genre: Contemporary Romance

Cover Design: Lori Jackson Designs

Photo: Wander Aguiar

Model: Tristan Elgart

Release Date: August 6, 2019

BLURB

Once upon a time, I believed in fairy tales.

I thought he was my Prince Charming, even though Grayson was tall, brooding, and from the wrong side of the tracks...

At fifteen, he swept me off my feet.

At twenty, he shattered my heart.

When I finally dried my tears, I became a new person.

Hardened. Untouchable. Impenetrable.

Until one day, like magic, Grayson reappears. All my old scars start to ache.

He’s different, too: haunted. Brooding. Damaged.

We’re both scarred by our past and yearning to escape our present.

He protests my presence even as he kisses me under the starry sky, but it’s no use.

I’m not falling for that again - not for his glances that make me weak in the knees, not for his smoldering touches that make me tingle with need.

He’ll just disappear again, leaving me broken and alone.

That’s why I have to guard my heart - and never, ever fall for Grayson again.

Even though he’s wildly tempting. I can’t forget the way his touch felt, the heat of his lips against my skin.

And I know what we could be together… if he doesn’t shatter my heart again.

Grayson and I are star crossed. Our lives are chartered for two separate courses.

And yet even the stars fall sometimes...

GOODREADS LINK: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/46033793-kiss-me-again

PRE-ORDER LINKS – $2.99 for a limited time!!

US: https://amzn.to/2XEvKMW

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EXCERPT

I take down a big, old tree that I had my eye on before. It is dying, causing a fire hazard. Not to mention the fact that the tree is in danger of falling, threatening any unsuspecting hikers that happen by this place.

Thwack. Heave.

Thwack. Heave.

Thwack. Heave.

I’m soon out of breath and sweating. I pause and peel my cotton t-shirt off, taking a second for a little water from my canteen. Then I go at it again, venting my rage and regret and my heartfelt sadness, watching it wash away as I continue to sweat.

Thwack. Heave.

Thwack. Heave.

Thwack. Heave.

By midday, I am all but boneless, both mentally and physically exhausted. I throw my shirt over my shoulder and head back down to the base camp. It’s hard to think, which is just the way I like it.

I am rounding one of the last bends before I get into camp when I run smack into Rachel. I hit her hard, sending her sprawling across the ground. She looks up at me and her breathing hitches. Her eyes wander down to my chest, which is still bare from my exertions and damp from perspiration.

For the barest second, a note of desire rises in the air between us, unbidden. It’s been a long time since I’ve been around anybody that looks at me this way. Mostly I keep to myself up here, that’s what’s so wonderful about this job.

But for a moment, I remember what it used to be like. Being wanted by women. Being ogled by them. Being the object of a woman’s desire.

Of Rachel’s desire.

I forgot how amazing that could be.

With the next breath she ruins it, though. Her expression turns sour as she picks herself up off of the ground. “You should really be more careful where you’re going.”

Just like that, the brief moment is over, the bubble popped. I roll my eyes.

“It’s not my fault. You ran into me,” I point out. “And then you bounced off me and fell, because you are a tiny person.”

Her jaw tightens. “I am a normal size for a woman.”

Rachel is pissed now and I can’t help but goad her. “Yeah. A tiny woman.”

When she dusts herself off and crosses her arms, I get a little pleasure out of knowing I’ve really annoyed her. “You are impossible. You didn’t used to be so… so…”

She makes a strangled noise deep in her throat. My eyes narrow.

“Did you want something or were you just going to fling accusations about how I used to be at me?”

She pulls a face. “You’re supposed to go through wilderness first aid with me. It’s the last class I have.”

I check my watch, trying not to roll my eyes again. “Alright. How about you meet me at the same little cabin as we were at yesterday in fifteen minutes?”

“Okay.” She shrugs.

“Fine.”

I leave her there and hustle through cleaning myself up. Smelling my t-shirts to find the least sweated-on of the bunch, I make a note to do another load of laundry before I head out on the trail with Rachel.

Because heaven forbid she might know that I stink sometimes. I roll my eyes at myself. Still, I put on another coat of deodorant just for good measure.

Not for Rachel. Just for everyone’s sake. At least that’s what I tell myself.

When I finally walk down to the little cabin, pine needles crunching beneath my feet, she is already inside. Ducking in the too-small cabin, I start to feel a prickling sense of unease as soon as I’m inside the cabin. The walls are so close, giving me the sensation of being squeezed. At least that is how my lungs feel.

I look at how little space I’ve been given in this little room and my throat starts to close.

“Are you okay?” Rachel asks, her brow furrowing.

I nod even though the answer is clearly no. “I just…” I pause and suck in a breath. “We should study outside.”

Grabbing two of the Red Cross handbooks and Whiskey Bend’s additional addendums, I am out the door before she even has a chance to respond. Rachel trails after me as I stalk over to the nearby picnic tables.

Clearing a table of the ever-present pine needles, I motion for her to sit. She does, although she looks wary of me. Like I’m a ticking time bomb and she’s trying not to set me off sooner than planned, I guess.

Out here though at least I can breathe a lot better. Because the picnic tables weren’t designed for someone of my stature, I sit on the actual table and hand her a copy of each handbook.

“Okay.” I open the first aid handbook to the first chapter. “Here we go. Systematic Approach to Assessing, Recognizing and Caring for Adults.”

Her eyes are on me, watching. But I try to focus on the material. Letting my attention drift to her means I would wonder about her.

Whether she still has that cluster of freckles on her lower back that looks just like the Lyra constellation. Whether she still gets that intense look of concentration when she’s about to come, a breathless expression of pure want.

Those thoughts could lead to naming all the things I regret in this life. And selfishly, I just can’t afford that today.

But deep in the back of my mind, those thoughts still swirl around and around. And Rachel is finally done, when she’s taken the test and qualified for official park purposes, the thoughts are still there.

“You passed the test.” I glance at her from where I’m sitting, my guard up all the way.

Her lips lift in the ghost of a smile. She obviously wasn’t worried about not passing.

“I guess that means we are going on this trip, then.”

My heart thuds a little too loudly. I swallow and clear my throat. “Yep.”

For a second, her gaze locks with mine and it’s like she can see right through me. Before her beautiful brown eyes, I am without pretense or preamble, naked and bare for her inspection. Her lips quirk as if she is going to say something.

Then at the last second she shakes her head instead. Pushing up from the picnic table, she turns away, calling over her shoulder.

“See you, Gray.”

Gray.

I feel the word is an arrow, going straight into my heart.

It’s been five years since anyone has called me that.

I stare at her walking away, swinging that pert ass of hers.

I am so, so very fucked if she keeps calling me that.

AUTHOR BIO

Vivian likes to write about troubled, deeply flawed alpha males and the fiery, kick-ass women who bring them to their knees.

Vivian's lasting motto in romance is a quote from a favorite song: "Soulmates never die."

Be sure to follow Vivian through her Vivian's Vixens mailing list or Facebook group to keep up with all the awesome giveaways, author videos, ARC opportunities, and more!

AUTHOR LINKS

Facebook Profile: https://www.facebook.com/vivianwoodromance

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Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/VivianKWood

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[freedom-shamrock]

Something Familiar - Chp12

Also on AO3 Chp 1   Chp 2   Chp 3   Chp 4   Chp 5   Chp 6   Chp 7   Chp 8   Chp 9 Chp 10   Chp 11   Chp 12   Chp 13   Chp 14 Now with art by Zelphaba

While it was definitely strange to be leading her familiar to her room in the form of a boy, it also felt normal.  It was like some part of her brain had known what he was all along, or that she'd put together some of the pieces that made him so odd as a cat, and it all made sense now.

Her eyes caught the cat tree as she headed to her desk chair.  "I think I need to ask you about a few things, but… it's going to be awkward."

He took the chair next to her and bent to gently rub his cheek on her shoulder.  "You can ask me anything."  He straightened up and turned those beautiful green eyes on her.  "I can feel that you're worried about something, and I don't like you to be worried.  I know anything you ask will come from an intent to respect, even if it comes out wrong."

She nodded, trying to find the right starting point.  "Have I ever made you uncomfortable?" she asked.

He shook his head, looking a little surprised.

"So the way I treat you in your cat form… that's been all right?"

He beamed at her and it was like the room was suddenly filled with sunshine.  "I love how you treat cat me.  Please don't change a thing."

That was a relief.  She'd been caught by the sudden thought that she'd been pedantic and rude.  "And how do you like to be treated when you're a person?"

He stared at her, eyes wide, for a moment.  She could feel his uncertainty.  "I have no idea," he said quietly.  "To my father, I was a burden and a tool.  To the other models and photographers, I was a potential path to a very powerful person who could influence their career."  His fingers drummed nervously on her desktop.  "It's been so long, I barely remember what it was like to have someone who genuinely liked me and didn't try to control who I was.  I don't know who I am, who I want to be."

Marinette felt a little pain in her chest that had nothing to do with her injuries.  She took his nearer hand in both of hers.  "I want you to be yourself, whoever that is.  And I'm going to be here for you as you try to figure it out, okay?"

He nodded.  "Thank you."

"What do you want me to call you when you're in you human guise?"  Based on their earlier conversation she had a strong suspicion, but she needed to be sure.  He was too important, their relationship, complicated though it had become, was critical to her magical powers.

"I like being Chat Noir," he said with a sweet smile.  "And I'm still me, no matter which form I wear."

She nodded.  "I know.  But I think people will be confused when you're out and about in human form and I call you that."

He stared at her.  "I'll be allowed to go out like that?"

"I want you to always feel free to take whichever form you want," she said firmly.  "You're still my familiar, either way."  She could still feel the arcane support and boost to her strength she'd gotten from him since their bonding.  "And I don't think this is something we're going to be able to keep secret, no matter how hard we try."

"I like it when you call me Kitty," he said shyly.  "It reminds me that I'm your kitty.   But in a sweet way.  Not like you own me."

She giggled.  "Technically, we own each other," she teased.

He nodded.  "Are your parents going to be okay with me going out in public…"  She felt his realization, though she couldn't see what it was.  "That's why your mom wanted you to get me clothes?  So I can be a boy sometimes, too?"

She nodded.  Letting go of his hand to reach out and nudge his hair out of his face.  Like a cat, he leaned into her hand, rubbing his cheek against her palm.  So apparently he did some cat things when he was in his human shape.  Leaning away for a moment, she opened a drawer and took out a tape measure.  "You've grown since you got those clothes.  May I measure you so we can get the right sizes?"

He nodded and stood up, pulling his shirt over his head in a smooth movement.  Before she could stop him, he'd dropped his jeans to the floor and was pushing them away with one foot.

"Uhh.  You didn't have to strip," she said, feeling the heat in her cheeks.  

" Really ?" he sounded surprised.  "This is how they always take my measurements at work."

For the first time, it connected in her brain that actual teen model and heartthrob Adrien Agreste was her familiar.  He was her Kitty, and he was standing in front of her in his underwear.

"Did I embarrass you?" he asked, worried.

She waved off his concern.  "You're a model and a cat.  Of course you have no modesty issues."  She smiled at him.  "Let me pull up my worksheet."  She'd developed a spreadsheet for measurements, with the ones she needed most highlighted.  Moving slowly, she wrapped the flexible fabric measure around his waist.  "And what does my Kitty like to do?" she asked.  "Do you have any hobbies or interests?"  Checking the number she moved back to her computer and entered it.

"I like videogames and anime," he said.  Holding his arms straight out to the side and out of her way as she captured his hip and chest measurements.  "I read a lot."  He paused in thought.  "I used to take piano, fencing and Mandarin lessons."

She giggled.  "Thanks again for the flash cards.  They're the best."  

He smiled down at her where she was measuring his shoulder to wrist.  "I've always found flashcards helpful."

She handed him the end of the tape.  "I need your in and outseam.  Can you hold that end?"

He held it exactly where he needed to, demonstrating his experience with the process.  "You're really smart, and I like studying with you."

She glanced at him over her shoulder as she entered the latest numbers.  "I'm glad.  But we'll have to see how that's all going to go.  You should get to learn, too."

"I do ," he said happily.  "I like going to school with you."

"I knew you were always paying attention."  She'd been suspicious of that, even when she thought he was just a cat.  "You like physics, I can tell."

He laughed and picked up his pants as she went and sat down.

"What do you want to look at first, shirts, pants, socks… you need everything."  She opened her browser.  

"You pick."  He settled in the chair while he inverted his shirt.  "I've never done this before."

She realized then that while his clothes were a little ratty and small, they were designer.  Like everything he'd probably ever worn.  "Have you ever gotten to pick out your own clothes?"

"For buying, no."  He shook his head.  "My father's assistant always brought me my new clothes and took away anything I'd outgrown."

Marinette scowled at her computer screen as she pulled up a clothing store Nino liked.  " You get to pick what we're buying, though we have a budget, so we need to be reasonable," she explained.   "And once I'm feeling better, I'd like to make you some clothes designed just for you, with colors, fabrics, and designs you pick, okay?"

"You'd want to do that for me?"  his voice was so small and surprised.

"Yes, Kitty," she assured him.  "Here in your new life, we want you to be happy.  We want you to choose things for yourself."  She'd have to talk to her parents about that detail.

After they had ordered several t-shirts and some jeans, he was nonchalantly scrolling through underwear.  It was a little disconcerting that he kept asking her opinion on color and design, until she reminded herself that she and Alya did the same thing.

"What was it like, living as a stray cat?" she asked.  She already knew about his father, but felt she should find out if there was any other trauma he might need help managing.

He shrugged, adding something to the cart and turning to look at her.  "At first, it was so nice.  I felt free for the first time in my life, and it was… that was wonderful.  Honestly, that part never got old."  He sighed.  "But I couldn't really find a cat colony where I fit, so I was mostly alone."

There was the isolation again.  They'd have to work on that.  "Where did you live?"  He really was clever, given he'd managed to live on the streets for about five months without getting hurt or caught.  Stray toms could be territorial and aggressive, but he'd either won those fights without injury, or he'd avoided them.

"I moved around a lot."  Leaning his elbows on the desk, he rested his chin on one fist.  "There was this one massage parlor where the owner was really nice.  If I came by at the right time, he'd feed me canned salmon and he talked to me a lot."  He hesitated.  "I think he might have known what I was, but it didn't bother him.  He called me Plagg and showed me a sheltered spot where his furnace vented.  It was a nice place to sleep when it was cold at night."

"Do you remember where it was?" Marinette asked.

He nodded.  "It's only a few blocks away from here."  He straightened up and reached for the mouse again.  "Why?"

She was pretty sure he was talking about Master Fu, who did a mix of Chinese medicine and massage therapy.  He was a regular at the bakery.  "I want to thank him for taking care of my Kitty."

Chat Noir turned to her, his vibrant eyes wide.  She felt a rush of affection and gratefulness from him, things that were apparently beyond words, because he quickly looked down without speaking.

"I want you to be happy," she said quietly, resting a gentle hand on his shoulder.  "You're such a wonderful person… er being?"

He smiled.  "Either works.  Or cat, too."

She nodded.  "You've made me happy.  You've been so sweet and kind.  You bring me flowers and breakfast…" she hesitated.  "How did you get me flowers, you clever kitty?"

"Oh!"  He stood up abruptly.  "Stay here."  He scurried up to her bed, pushed open the skylight and went out on the terrace.  

She marveled at how fluid his movement was, like a cat in human form.  It was no wonder he was a natural on the runway.  

His footsteps were light on the roof, and after a few minutes, he returned with a tattered black backpack.  He set it down between his bare feet and unzipped it.  "This is what I had with me when I ran away.  He pulled out a jacket, some rope, a notepad, and a plastic bag holding a wallet, and a pile of euro notes.  "The first thing I did was withdraw some money.  It was going to be my safety net in case it got too cold at night and I needed a place to stay, or if I just couldn't hack it as a cat."

It looked like a lot of money, actually.  "Did you need to use it much?"

He shook his head.  "I'm a pretty good hunter… uh… maybe we won't talk about what I ate, though.  Not sure you'd appreciate it."  His pale cheeks flushed.

"Are you telling me you ate like a cat?" she asked, feigning shock.  "How… biologically appropriate of you."

He laughed.  "Okay.  Thanks.  But I promise not to gift you with any mice or birds."

"Oh thank god ."  She didn't even try to hide her relief.  "If you must get me something, the flowers or the breakfast are just fine."

He grinned.  "Noted."

She yawned, realizing she felt drained all of a sudden.

"You need to rest," he said, frowning a little.  "I don't think you should be up in the loft until you can get up and down by yourself."  He pulled at his lip with two fingers.  "Is it okay if I bring down your mattress?"

She shrugged.  "If you want."  She had to agree that the ladder was a bad idea right now.

After a few minutes he'd relocated her entire bed to the floor.  He pulled back the blankets and patted the mattress.  "Come on my Marinette.  It's nap time."

"What are you going to do?" she asked, wincing as she lay down."

"I'm going to watch over you," he promised.  "Do you prefer a cat guard or a person."

"Whichever you want," she insisted.

"And is it still okay if I'm on your bed?" he asked uncertainly.

"You're my familiar and a cat.," she pointed out, smiling as she closed her eyes.  "You can go wherever you want."

Marichat May, day 26 - the stray

Wasn't originally going to show this scene, but it fit the prompt and I wanted to write it. Now to go figure out today's prompt do I can write it tonight, or when there’s a lull in the family stuff.

[pepperminthotchocolate]

Gtjsefanclub Anniversary Prompt Four: Technology

Sean twisted around in the dark, trying to get a better view with the limited light. “C’mon ya fuckin’…it better be the connector.” His voice echoed around him in the enclosed space under his desk.

He knew that technology was temperamental at times, but unfortunately today was not a day he could spare. He had to finish recording his normal videos so that he could send them to Robin to edit, a charity livestream to plan for, not to mention helping Signe with one of her videos. He really needed to figure out what was happening with his setup, and fast.

He gave the plug a flat glare. “It’s not the connector, is it. Sweet divine baby Jaysus, you wanna cooperate please?”

“Sean?”

Sean’s head bumped up against the bottom of the desk in his surprise. He grimaced and carefully backed his way out of the space. Standing to the left of his elbow was his diminutive girlfriend.  Her hands were on her hips, looking up at him with a slightly confused look on her face. He replaced his pained expression with a cheerful smile. “Hey, Wiish.”

“What are you doing under the table?”

“I’m TRYIN’ to figure out what is wrong with this computer. Somethin’ came disconnected and it’s not reading on the screen, but I don’t know what it could possibly be.”

She nodded in understanding. “Do you need help?” She asked, taking a glance over toward the computer.

“Well yeah, that’s the problem. I have no idea what it could be and we’re the only ones here.” He explained and settled down on his elbows. He absentmindedly ran a hand through his hair. A few strands came out of the tangled, green mess. “I guess I could call Robin or maybe Mark-“

“Do you want MY help?”

“What are you gonna do?”

She threw her hands up in a show of exasperation. “Do you want me to take a look or not?”

He chewed thoughtfully on his bottom lip. “…I mean, yeah? But you’re not gonna do it.”  

“Why not?”

“You’re gonna fall back there and get stuck and I won’t be able to help you. Even worse, you’ll trip over a cord and electrocute yourself.”

“I’ll be fine. Come on, give me hand up.” She ordered, tightening her pony tail and pulling the flyaway strands away from her forehead.

He laid his two hands, palms up, as flat as he could against the floor. It had been about two months since she had begun shrinking, and now Signe was a little bit shorter than the length of his wrist to his elbow. She could give the actual measurement if he asked; she checked her height with a ruler at least every day, usually multiple times a day.

Many days’ worth of trial and error had made Sean careful with how she liked to be held. According to the few helpful videos he had seen, each person with Physicalia Dimintuva was different, and so communication was key. Signe herself didn’t particularly care one way or the other, just as long as the person holding her was slow and careful. She also didn’t like to be “gripped” either, so palms flat up seemed to be the best option.

She sat herself in the center of his hands and held on tight to his pinky and ring fingers. Sean did his best to keep his hands steady as he moved forward on his knees toward the area behind his desk. He edged toward the small space between the desk and the wall and, after some deliberation, lowered her into the mess of cords.

Signe gently dropped down from his hands into the space. Even for her it was a tight squeeze. Immediately, she ran face first into what felt like a meter-long spider’s web. The sticky tendrils wrapped around her, and she brought her arms up, scrunched her face and let out a yelp in defense.

Sean jumped to the corner of the desk, trying to peer into the darkness to see what happened. “Are you okay?” He asked, lining up his eye against the small crack between the desk and the wall. He couldn’t see anything, but he could hear her moving around.

“Y-yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” She sputtered, trying to brush the invisible threads off her face and clothes. “You really need to dust back here.”

The flashing blue lights located inside the computer’s tower illuminated the small space. Cords of every shape and size coiled like snakes down by her feet and above her head, running this way and that to plug in to the backs of different pieces of technology. You’d think he’d have labels on these things after a while. Signe thought to herself. The mechanical parts within the computer whirred and hummed quietly along. She knew a bit about computers, but not nearly enough to put together one of these contraptions. Sean had spent months building this thing himself, putting in as much care for it like he would his own child.

“Right, just be careful back there.” He warned, listening carefully for any more signs of distress. She was silent for a few more moments before he asked, “Do you see where the adapter plugs in to the tower?”

“Uh?” Signe muttered helpfully.

“Do you see a big plug with, like, three rectangular ports that are plugged into the tall part of the computer?”

She squinted into the darkness. “Yes, that I see.”

“Okay, look to see if there’s anything that should be there that isn’t. Has anythin’ been unplugged or fallen out?”

“I don’t think so. Give me a second.”

It didn’t help that she wasn’t sure what to look for. She didn’t see anything immediately out of place; the ports that Sean had previously mentioned were plugged in, all of the plugs running up the wall into the tower were seemingly in place. She tried to move in closer when her ankle caught on a stray wire. She nearly tripped, but caught herself at the last minute. It was a plastic covered cord about as thick as three of her fingers put together with an unplugged-in end. Bingo.

“Sean?”

He sat back on his knees, listening intently as his girlfriend rustled around behind the computer. “Yeah?” He asked, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Is there supposed to be a black cord with a blue plug connected to something back here? That’s got little knobby screw things that hook in somewhere?”

“That’s the port for the camera’s power source. That should be plugged in to the tower.”

“Alright, let me see.” She shoved the piece, about the size of a textbook in her hands, into the free space. Nothing yet. She took the knobs and twisted each one clockwise, the screws moving the plug further into the socket.  

An electric hum forced its way through the silence in the room. Sean’s eyes flickered up to the screen; the light was on. The picture was up and working. He grinned. “Woosh! You did it!”

“See, I told you! And you doubted me.” She exclaimed, jabbing her finger at the light above the desk. She waited until he stuck his hand in and she grabbed onto his fingers. He pulled her out of the enclosed space as if she weighed nothing at all, gathering her up into the crook of his arm.

“Ah, knew I kept you ‘round for a reason!” He cheered, giving her a gentle peck on the cheek. At her size, it covered the entire side of her face. She laughed, holding one hand up to her face and the other on his forearm for stability.

“So the reason that I came in was to ask for your help with dinner around five. Think you’ll be done by then?”

“I think so. I’m just going to do an episode or two of this new game, then I’ll be right out.”  

“Okay. Let me know if you have any more technology issues you need me to sort out.” She replied, giving him a smug grin. He chuckled and let her down from his arms, watching her as she made the trek out of his studio door. Whatever he did to deserve a woman like her, he wasn’t sure. All he knew was she never failed to surprise him.

He jumped up from the floor, quickly completed his audio and visual sync, and adjusted his camera to get his full face in view. “Everythin’ good? Am I recordin’? Yep, good.” He laughed, replacing his headphones and fixing his hair.

He energetically mimicked the sound of a high-five. “Top o’ the mornin’ to ya laddies! My name is Jacksepticeye, and welcome to...”. He stopped short, looking directly in the camera. “I forgot the name of the fuckin’ game.”

--------------- --------------- --------------- --------------- --------------- --------------- 

Hey everyone! Prompt number four for the GT Jacksepticeye Anniversary was “technology”, so I figured  what would be a better story idea than technology issues? :D

I just wanted to give a quick shoutout for those who have been so supportive and kind with their feedback with my stories. I’ve never done a multi-chapter arc for a contest/celebration thing like this before, so I appreciate everyone who’s left a comment in the tags, reblogged/liked my work, etc. This chapter was certainly one of the more fun ones I got to write. As I mentioned before, I know NOTHING about cameras or recording Youtube videos, so please keep that in mind for this chapter. Enjoy!

[pcyxiukai]

Hate (Final)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Description: You have truly come to hate Kim Jongin

Notes for update: Not required (already finished series, reuploaded)

Pairing: Kim Jongin x Reader

Mobile Masterlist | Twitter

I heard a knock at my door. I figured the dinner cooking on my stove would be fine as I walked over to the door. I opened it, frowning when I saw the tall form of Sehun in my doorway. He shook the snow off of his boots and smiled at me. It had been almost five years, and I was sure I had cut off contact with all of them. I took drastic measures, changing my number, even moving out of the city.

“It’s been a while, (Y/N). Don’t worry, I’m alone. Jongin isn’t with me.” He told me. I opened the door wider for him to come in, and he shed the extra layers of his coat and he took his shoes off neatly.

“How’ve you been, Sehun?” I smiled, leading him into the kitchen.

“I’ve been good, what about you?” He looked at the stove. “When did you learn how to cook?”

“It’s a skill I kind of had to acquire.” I chuckled nervously. “It’s been a weird past couple years.”

“You don’t have to be awkward with me, (Y/N), I’m not gonna tell Jongin you’re -” And of course, as I expected, a small voice came from the back of the hallway.

“Momma?” Her voice was small and I stood to go down the hallway. Sehun’s eyes widened a little and I frowned. She ran down the hallway giggling until she got to my arms. She just turned four a few months ago.

“How’s my little Jongyeon doing?” I smiled at him, holding her against my hip. Her eyes travelled to Sehun, and she leaned close to me.

“Momma, who’s that?” Her small eyes narrowed. “Is he my daddy?”

“No, honey, Sehun’s an old friend. You don’t have to be scared of him.” I told her. She nodded, contemplating my words. There was no way to mistake her as anyone else’s besides Jongin’s. She had his nose, his ears, and even his lips.

“Woah…” Was all Sehun could muster to say. “She looks so much like Jongin.”

“I know,” I smiled sadly. “I was afraid of that.”

“Why didn’t you tell him?” Sehun asked. Jongyeon held out her arms to be held by Sehun, and he awkwardly took her from me and rocked her back and forth on his hip a little.

“It wouldn’t have changed anything, Sehun. It was toxic, the whole thing, we both needed out.” I walked back over to the stove and stirred the chicken noodle soup Jongyeon had begged me to make for dinner.

“He hasn’t seen anyone else, you know.” Sehun’s voice made me freeze in my spot. “He’s tried, he really has. The longest anything worked out for him was a week, maybe two.”

“I-Sehun, it doesn’t change anything.” I replied firmly. Sehun sighed helping Jongyeon color a picture at the table.

“I’m not trying to force you into anything. I know it was rough for you two, but she’s his kid and he doesn’t even know she exists. I felt horrible not knowing she exists, imagine what he’d feel.” Sehun was right, I knew he was right. He wasn’t saying Jongin and I necessarily had to try again, but he was saying Jongin at least deserved to know.

“You’re supposed to be the youngest, why are you so mature?” I scoffed, shaking my head. “After dinner...can you have him come here after I feed Jongyeon. And you too, you need food too. You’ve gotten skinnier.”

“You were always a mom figure, no wonder you’ve done so well with Jongyeon.” I smiled at his compliment. When I found out I almost called Jongin, just because I was terrified. I never believed in myself until after Jongyeon was born. She even had his surname.

“Mommy, I’m hungry!” Jongyeon exclaimed, falling back against Sehun’s chest. “Feed me!”

“Alright, calm down, Jongyeon, it’s almost done.” I chuckled. She clapped her little hands together and Sehun did the same. She compared their hand sizes and his was much, much bigger than her’s. She squealed and clapped again.

After dinner was over, Sehun told Jongin to meet him at my house (obviously not saying it was my house) and it didn’t take him long to get here. Sehun had left, though, to make sure Jongin would spend time with the family he had made.

When the knock came on the door, Jongyeon ran to answer it. I gasped and ran after her, picking her up before she could open the door. This was Jongin, the man that I told myself over and over again that I hated. The man that I had made a child with, the man that was the father of the child in my arms.

I took a deep breath and opened the door.

“Hi,” His back was turned. “I’m looking for my friend Sehun, he said he was…” His voice trailed off as he turned and saw me. His eyes travelled to Jongyeon, then back to me.

“Hi, Jongin.” I said quietly. “Don’t just stand out there. It’s freezing.” I let him inside the house, and he was still in shock.

“(Y/N)...it’s been a while.” He clearly wasn’t recognizing Jongyeon as his own kid, which was a little confusing considering she almost looked like a replica of him.

“Yeah it has.”

“So you have...a kid?” He raised his eyebrow as I helped him out of his coat. “How old is she? Have you gotten married?” I only laughed at his question.

“I’m not married. Jongyeon’s four years old.” She sat silent at my side.

“Jong...yeon?” He tilted his head slightly, finally beginning to recognize the similarities.

“Kim Jongyeon!” She giggled at my side, kicking her feet lightly. I quickly shushed her and set her on the ground. She skipped away from the two of us.

“Kim Jongyeon.” His eyes were watering as he looked at me, I didn’t exactly know what to do.

“That’s her name.” I nodded slowly. “I have some more soup if you’d like some. That’s what Jongyeon wanted for dinner.”

“I...yeah, sure.” He seemed distracted as he kept his eyes on the small girl that was watching TV and singing along with the theme song of the show. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I figured you wouldn’t want anything to do with either of us. We ended on a bad note.” I laughed nervously.

“After you left...I wasn’t myself anymore. That morning, when I woke up without you, I-I actually cried. Not even just crying, I was sobbing. I realized how much I fucked up and I knew what I did was wrong. I made you leave.” He wouldn’t look at me as he recalled this memory.

“You know where I am now. You have a child, we have a child.” I felt incredibly bad for breaking my promise to him, but I had to. There was no way I could’ve stayed.

“You’ve raised her for four years all by yourself?” He shook his head. “I should’ve been there for you. I’m sorry, for everything.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Jongin. The truth is, I never hated you. I wanted to so badly because I figured it would be easier for both of us. Because if I hated you, it wouldn’t hurt for me to leave. I left that night and you were - you were just laying there. I realized how much I missed you and how much I needed you but I knew damn well that after everything I said it wouldn’t be fair for me to stay.” I told him. I wasn’t honest with any of them the last time I’d seen them. I didn’t hate Jongin, far from it, but I did hate who he had become. He wasn’t the same person I fell in love with.

“Then let’s try again. For me, for you, for our child.” Jongin’s tongue darted out to wet his lips. “I’ve missed you so much more than you know and it’s just not the same without you. Come back to me. Let’s raise Jongyeon together.”

“Jongin...I don’t know.” I felt my willpower beginning to cave to the man who had once been my whole world. “If it doesn’t work out...it’ll hurt Jongyeon. It wouldn’t be fair.”

“I won’t make the same mistakes I did before. I-I won’t make you hate me again, I just want to treat like you deserve to be treated. I want to spend my life with you and our daughter.” I couldn’t remember the last time I’d heard such sincerity in Jongin’s voice, but it long surpassed the past five years I’d been without him.

I felt my willpower crash as it had done all those years ago. It was dangerous, I knew it was. Although, there was no denying I missed him. Having him in front of me really awakened the old feelings I had, no matter how deeply they were buried.

“Okay.” I nodded slowly, watching his face change as I said that.

“Okay?” He tilted his head slightly.

When I nodded again, he pulled me into a tight hug, not showing any sign of letting me go. His hands were trembling against my back and I was sure I was doing the same. I felt the tears gathering in my eyes but I pushed them away.

“I’ll do better this time, I swear.” He whispered before he kissed me. Oddly enough, I trusted him, I believed him.

[fearofaherobrine]

Roleplay Server Log #135

“Ender-Mermaids, Tsunami and Thunder, Candy Seed”

[Flowey] I got it. *He floats down and retrieves the egg, staring down a few endermen before returning

[GK] Notices the endermen taking a rather unhealthy interest- Uh...

[TLOT] Don't go alone Cp. I can bolster you up if you start to falter again.

-The endermen are congregating and tping closer and GK takes off quickly. -

[CP] - I'll be fine

[TLOT] Considering that you just nearly collapsed without saying anything, no you will not be.

[CP] - You try teleporting three full sized dragons plus others

[TLOT] Exactly. I can move myself and Steve if you point the way.

[GK] Flys back out into the space- Does that one look normal at least?

[Doc] Come on Deerheart, lets go, I think they'll be at this awhile.

[Deer] - Alright, Gem, be safe- She shifts back to her human form and climbs back onto Doc

[Doc] Opens a way and zips out into the crackling null space - How are you feeling anyway? You got a bit green around the gills last time.

[Deer] - Still happened a little, but not as strongly as before.  We'll see how I am after a few seeds

[Doc] I'm already getting a signal, xe banks and comes out into a rather strange overworld, everything is done up in pastels, candy flowers and trees and pink grass - um... I guess someone just played a speedrun with a mod pack and abandoned it?

[Deer] - Well, at least this solves the candy for Hera problem...

[Doc] Is already taking samples - Look at this tree! aww, it's the same color as your hair. And the flowers are lollypops

[Deer] Giggles- Shall we find the End?

[Doc] Is watching the finder sweep around and trots after it. - This should lead us to the portal, but honestly, what a nice texture pack. - Xe sweeps some red vines down with a paw and holds a tangle as xe copies them before taking a bite. - Oh! taste that! those are good.

[Deer] Reaches around and snags a bit before chewing on it- Oh that's good!

[Doc] Finds a both an endframe and a nether portal set up next to eachother. - Nevermind, creative junkie, not speedrun.

[Doc] Is sniffing what should be obsidian on the nether portal before suddenly taking a bite out of one of the black blocks.

[Deer] - Doc?

[Doc] I have no idea how to describe that, but it's just as chewy as the vines and equally tasty. - Xe copies some of the black blocks and the dirt blocks for good measure before offering Deerheart a few of the black pixels.

[Deer] Tries and makes a face- I don't really like that one

[Doc] Ah, well, it's individual taste, it's not as sweet. Maybe it needs some touchie syrup mixed in. Either way, lets go to the End.

[Deer] - Absolutely

[Doc] Slips into the endframe and pops out over the void before landing on the floating island. Xe jumps at the weird texture of the ground as it gives under hir feet. - Yikes!

[Deer] - Doc?  You okay?

[Doc] Sniffs the ground- Just suprised me, that's all. I think it's... good grief... the ground is sponge cake.

[Deer] - Oh...

[Doc] Chomps a block and it squishes out into crumbs- Not bad, but it needs fruit or something.

[Deer] Looks around- I wonder what the egg here looks like...

[Doc] Is picking through the creative menu taking things out - everything is sugared. Lj would go nuts here.

[Deer] - Yes he would

[Doc] There it is! Do you want to grab it? -It's on the pedstal as is normal but it's glittering and white as if it was covered with sugar crystals.

[Deer] - Oh wow that's pretty- She slips off of Doc's back and approaches it, carefully picking it up

[Doc] Can't wait to see what's in this one. - I bet it's like a fairy dragon or something

[Deer] Puts the egg in her inventory- Okay, let's go find the next one

[TLOT] Grabs Steve and puts him in a fireman carry on his back- Let's GO.

[CP] Grumbles and follows, tossing the finder out as he creates a portal

[TLOT] Follows with Steve as if he didn't weight anything at all.

[CP] Watches the finder for a moment before taking off after it, creating another opening into a different seed-

-The seed is very old and not even as high res as the current seed they live on.  It's the earliest an end portal could have occurred naturally in game-

[CP] - Oh for fucks sake...

[TLOT] This is weird...

[Steve] Yeah.... Doc's tried to tell me about being eight bit and I feel like I kinda get it now.

[CP] - Yeah this place is old

[TLOT] Lets Steve down and he touches the grass and stones around him curiously.

[Steve] I wonder if there are any Herobrines about?

[CP] - Well I was around long before this so who knows

[CP] Glances at the finder which is wandering off and closer to the ground- Onwards we go- He follows it and debates the best way to get through the ground

[Steve] Is it time to dig?

[CP] - Yes

[TLOT] Does a little fist bump with his husband and the two of them hit the ground like moles. Steve's using a diamond pick and TLOT only his hands, but there's dirt and rocks flying everywhere as they work in perfect harmony until breaking through into a room far below.

[CP] Looks down the hole- You done yet?

[Steve] Echoes a little- Yep!

[TLOT] There's a fortress down here all right.

[CP] Floats down- Alright then, time to find that portal

[Flowey] Looks normal, kind of a bit small though.

[TLOT] Gracefully indicates that Cp should lead.

[CP] Walks right past them, following the hallway and the finder.  They pass cells and fountains and empty chests until they come across the portal-

[Steve] Is just gawking at everything.

[CP] - What?  Never been in a fortress before?

[TLOT] Steals some books as they pass through a librairy

[Steve] Me? Well, just the once... but I was pretty out of it at the time. And it had already been looted so I just went straight for the end frame.

[CP] Rolls his eyes and climbs the stairs to the portal, the silver fish spawner having already been destroyed-  Come on, let's go

[TLOT] Takes Steve and trusts falls them both through the hole.

[CP] Calmly steps into it-

-They enter the end, the end stone hard beneath their feet.  This End island is small and the portal with the egg is easily visible.  The egg looks okay as far as CP can tell from where they are-

[CP] - Alright, let's grab this thing and go already

[TLOT] Race me?

[Steve] You're on!

-The two of them bolt for the egg, their boots ringing hard on the endstone.-

-There's a loud roar from above and a massive shape takes off from one of the destroyed End towers-

[TLOT] Holy shit!

[Steve] There's two! Retreat!

-The two large dragons circle overhead, growling threateningly-

[TLOT] Grabs Steve- Maybe don't run. Just back off slowly.

[Steve] Well I guess this one is in good hands already- is shaking

[CP] - Yeah, they're just warning you guys to back off

[TLOT] Hollers- Sorry! We didn't know! We've been gathering abandoned eggs to hatch them!

[CP] - They don't care TLOT!

[Steve] Hey... wait

[Steve] Ask them if they want to come with us? This seed is super old. We can offer them a better resolution and space in the overworld Doc is setting up.

[TLOT] You're right, having some adults to watch the babies could be good...

[CP] - You guys do realize I don't need to translate for them, right?  They understand you just fine

[Steve] Yeah but, we can't understand the reply as well.

[TLOT] And you're naturally loud.

-One of the dragons lands over the egg protectively and growls something at CP-

[CP] - They say they're content here.  This is their home and this is where they're safe

[TLOT] Makes an attempt to show them mentally what they're offering-

-The second dragon lands, this one male and having a ridge down the crest of his neck.  It snaps at them a little-

[CP] - You're worrying them with those images TLOT, they don't like water

[TLOT] Sorry. I was just trying to show you our resolution. It's more detailed then it is here. We already have several dragons and know how to make spaces for them specifically.

[Steve] Jumps back from the snap. -Yikes!

[CP] Sighs and steps forwards, sending images of biomes without water, this seems to catch the dragons attentions-

[TLOT] And old seeds can get deleted. So it's not exactly safe here either.

-The two dragons share a look before the female reaches down between her legs to pick up the egg-

[CP] - I think we have our answer

[TLOT] I guess we should head straight back and go back out again later then. I'll send Doc an email, hang on a sec- Are you ready with the seed yet?

[Doc] Yes, I've got it set up, we're just waiting for Gems group to get back. Do you want the seed number?

[TLOT] Yes please - relays it to Cp- It has two parts, like a PO box inside the number of their own server.

[CP] Sighs and begins concentrating, he creates a huge tear, an opening large enough for the two dragons to comfortably pass through to the other seed-

[TLOT] Trots ahead with Steve in tow. The rip opens onto a sprawling savannah with a desert in the distance and mountains looming high in the other direction. - Wow, this is nice.

-The two dragons step through, cautious of their new surroundings.  CP stumbles through after them, closing the tear behind him-

[TLOT] Catches Cp as he stumbles. - easy now, lets take five at least-

[CP] - I'm fine

[Steve] Waves at the dragons - do you guys have names?

-The two growl something-

[CP] - They say no

[Steve] awww...

[TLOT] You should think of something to call yourselves, Doc can hook you to respawn if you have names.

-They tilt their heads in confusion-

[CP] - They don't know what respawn is Steve

[Steve] It means you can't die or despawn.

-The dragons are now curious-

[TLOT] Thunks an anvil out of creative and starts making a tag - how about... Thunder and Tsunami?

-The two dragons make a chirping sound-

[Steve] Squees- I think they like it! Can I do one?

[TLOT] Passes a tag and they click in unison, one on each dragon-

[Doc] -There's a slight voom noise and Doc steps through in hir normal shape with several eggs in hir arms. Some of them are oddly colored. - Hey guys; WHOAH.

[TLOT] Suprise!

[Steve] We found some really big ones, didn't we?

[CP] Groans in annoyance-

[Doc] Deerheart and I found some nice ones too, this sparkly one is going to be really interesting I think, the mod was candy themed. Do you think your new friends would mind cleaning them so I can shell them up?

[Tsunami] The female dragon tilts her head in curiousity-

[TLOT] We determined that ender dragon eggs that were abandoned in the void by the players that slew the dragons could be stimulated to hatch if they're first cleaned by adult dragons.

[Doc] We're just going to walk them around nice and warm till they hatch and release the babies here

[Thunder] Leans over to sniff at the eggs-

[Doc] Sets them gently in the grass and steps back.

[Thunder] Steps forwards and licks the eggs, balking a little at the overly sweet one-

[CP] - What the fuck sort of egg is that?

[Doc] Thank you,-notices the white text-  Thunder?

[Doc] Oh, It was a weird mod, all cake and candy and ice cream. Everythign decked out in pastels. You'd have hated it with a passion.

[CP] - No shit, and these two here decided to name the dragons

[Doc] Good that saves me doing it. I'm Doc. Nice to meet you both. I won't be around to bug you too often, mostly just to check on things. Eventually they'll be quite a few dragons here, but you've got the whole seed to spread out if you want. I'd prefer there be no fighting but that's the only real rule.

[Thunder] Is continuing to clean the eggs while Tsunami seems to be building a nest-

[Doc] Makes ready with the shell casings. And waits for them to finish. Xe's got hir eye on the sparkly one in particular.

[Thunder] Finishes and goes to help his mate-

[Doc] Sits down on the ground and starts to cover the eggs with the casings, xe takes two of them and puts them in hir inventory, and starts apssing some of the others out to TLOT and Steve - Cp? You should take at least three of them, we already know you're excellent at raising dragons and get around the seed quite a bit.

[CP] - Do I really have to?

[Doc] Yes.

[Endrea] Looks over at BEN- Where is Aven?  We should get going...

[gem] -come back over to ben and endrea with the guardians who have eddy and Edward- aven said she wanted to grab so of her old stuff so she might be at her house.

[Endrea] - We should be going to get the eggs...

[gem] lets go get her then its not even that far but vin might have to carry ben.

[Endrea] - I can carry you if you dismiss the guardians

[gem] -takes eddy and Edward from the guardians soon after then turn to mist as they fade into gem- lets go.

[Endrea] Simply picks up BEN and puts her on her back and waits for Gem to climb on-

[gem] -climbs on-

[Endrea] Walks over to the house, BEN getting nervous and tense about the water- Aven?  Are you ready?

[aven] -look down from the tree she is in it's smaller and simpler- yep i'm coming -she then heads down the ladder that leads outside-

Endrea] Lowers herself as BEN reaches down to help Aven up-

[aven] -manages to get on with ben's help-

[BEN] - You sure you're okay to come along?

[aven] i'll be ok.

[BEN] Tosses the finder and Endrea opens a way to the void.  She follows the finder into the opening and towards the End they need to reach-

[Endrea] Feels at home in the void but is moving swiftly towards their destination, soon she creates another opening and bursts into a foreign End, she is greatly surprised by what she see's.  There is water, everywhere-

[BEN] Scared squeak-

[aven] -holds ben tight- why is there so much water this is the end for fuck sakes.

[Endrea] - This is certainly strange...

-There are merfolk like endermen swimming below them, deep below they can barely make out a blue egg-

[gem] aven hold eddy and Edward -hands aven the two Enderman-

[BEN] High pitched whine-

[aven] -takes them-

[gem] welp I am going in -jumps off endrea into the water-

[Endrea] Hovers above the water, watching Gem-

[gem] -is swimming towards the egg-

[aven] well she is going to be wet when she gets out of the water

[BEN] - No...  No water...  Bad water

[aven] I hate this too.

[Endrea] - You're not the ones that are harmed by it

[BEN] - I THINK DROWNING COUNTS AS HARMING!

[gem] -has gotten the egg and is now flying up to the group dripping- I got it

[BEN] Tries to get as far from Gem as he can-

[Endrea] - Good, let's move on, the others may already be done

-A mer-ender breaches the water, grabbing for Gem in an attempt to retrieve the egg-

[gem] -is grabbed but is only slowly losing altitude- fuck

[Endrea] Turns and growls at the mer-ender, causing them to let go in fear-

[gem] -is trying to dry her self off enough so it wont hurt endrea-

[Endrea] - You're fine Gem, at this size I can deal with a little water

[gem] -get back on endrea with the egg- then lets head back

[Endrea] Flaps her wings to gain altitude and creates another opening to the void.  They hit a few more End's before heading back to the server-

[Endrea] Lands near spawn and immediately checks on the two new babies-

[gem] -sees the babies- did I miss something when I was looking at the map?

[Doc] Rushes up to them, - how did it go? Did you find any unusual ones?

[aven] -shivers- we got one from and end that was underwater and the Enderman where mermaids

[Doc] Just stands there confused- Ender.. mermaids?

[Endrea] - The entire End was water

[gem] -holds out the blue egg- this is the egg.

[Doc] Wow... Well, I've already got a few in my inventory. If Endrea cleans it up I'll encase it and you should carry that one.

[gem] I bet it's a merdragon

[Endrea] Turns to start licking and cleaning the egg-

[Doc] That one might have to stay here. The seed I loaded for them is very dry.

[Doc] Speaking of such, Endrea, you'll never believe what TLOT and Steve brought back.

[Endrea] - What did they bring?

[aven] -is sitting on the ground with eddy and Edward in her lap-

[Doc] Two full sized and rather old dragons with a bitty egg of their own. TLOT and Steve named them Tsunami and Thunder. They're already in the sub-seed.

[Endrea] - Really?

[Doc] Yep, they seem pretty chill. Should be handy as guardians when we set the babies loose so you can focus on Ashe and... what are you going to name your new babies?

-the two dragons are trying to climb out of the pouch-

[Endrea] - I, hadn't thought about that yet...  How about...  Willow and Oak?

[Doc] I like that. Willow should be the one with the cute sock feet.

[Endrea] Nuzzles them with a happy hum-

[Doc] Is tending to the eggs and begins passing them out.

[BEN] - Why are you handing me one?  I'm fucking lazy!

[willow and oak] -makes squeaks-

[Endrea] Offers more void energy for them-

[Doc] So? All you have to do is move around normally with it in your inventory and it should hatch on it's own. Just call me when it pops. Think of it as the whole server doing a group project for bonding purposes.

[willow and oak] -willow eat much more but oak only eats a little before again trying to climb out to explore-

[Lie] Mentally- Er, Doc?  We might need you here...

[gem] -is already running in a circle-

[Doc] Ha, duty calls. I'm headed for Lie's house. Gem could you take an egg or two to Splender? I'd like to include him.

[Endrea] - Climb on Doc, I need to go there anyways to retrieve Ashe

[gem] aye aye! -runs to splenders-

[Doc] Thank you Endrea, I'd be honored to take that offer. I don't think I've ever actually ridden you before. - Hops up on her neck and hugs her

[BEN] Picks Aven up and flies a little ways with her-

[Doc] You got so big, I don't say it often enough, but I'm proud to have gotten to help raise you up this last time.

[aven] lets go home ben I have seen enough water to last me a life time

[BEN] - Agreed- He then flies off with Aven, not even saying goodbye to Doc and Endrea

[Endrea] Shakes her head at BEN before spreading her wings and lifting into the air, heading for Lie's house-

[Endrea] - It was a much more fun experience this time around Dodo

[Doc] Awww, I love you kiddo. It was a pleasure. Now we both get to have the fun, with three new babies of your own.

[Endrea] - Yes... My babies...

[Endrea] Lands on her landing pad on Lie's roof, lowering herself so Doc can get off-

[Doc] Jumps down and pats her reflexitively before going to check on the babies.

[Splender] Is happily baking some cookies for Sally-

[Endrea] Reflexively lets out a small growl at Doc being so close to her new borns-

[gem] -is out side splendor's house on the shore- hey splendor

[Doc] It's okay, I just wanted to take a peek. You should come inside anyway. I bet Ashe is missing you.

[Endrea] Lowers herself so the pouch is on the roof so it wont fall when she shifts back-

[Splender] Looks out his door- Oh hello Gem!  Come on in!

[Doc] Backs off so she can change. - I'm going to go check on Lie.

[thechampagnecircus]

My Frenemy the Dentist

The dentist. The dreaded place feared by adults and kids alike. I have always felt somewhat bad for dentists. They are up there with the IRS and DMV, people avoiding them like the plague. If it weren't for all the money they were able to charge, I’d truly lament for them. But after a Periodontitis diagnosis eight years ago the dental office has become a frequented place for me. If you are lucky enough to not know what that is, I will give you a quick download. Periodontitis is advanced gum disease.  We have all heard of Gingivitis from toothpaste and mouthwash ads. Used to invoke fear in us as kids to not miss a night’s brushing. This is basically that left untreated. It is unclear as to its main cause, but a mix of lifestyle choices, genetics, and abstaining from regular dental visits seem to be part of the recipe.  

At this point, when it comes to dental procedures, you name it, I have had it. Root canals are child’s play. I have had deep scaling treatments, bone grafts, crowns, laser therapy, all the things. I feel blessed to get the care that I need and I have come to peace with the fact this is something I will battle for the rest of my days. Periodontal Disease is incurable but maintainable. It is given me a soap box to preach to all my little nieces and nephews. Make sure to floss, or you’ll end up like Auntie Carly. Having said all that, I still get nervous going in for even routine appointments.  

About four or five years ago, due to my gum recession, my hygiene appointments started becoming painful. The normal anxiety and discomfort had evolved into a bigger beast than I could handle. They had to freeze all the areas in order to clean them properly. Therefore we broke it up into two appointments. My anxiety got so high and tense that it was hard for the freezing to take. Even Novocaine couldn't get through the stiffness my anxiety caused. The bottom left section of my mouth was the worst and lots of trial and error took place.  Enough was enough and I decided to look into sedation dentistry. I spoke to my hygienist and dentist and we all agreed I was a good candidate.  Like all things, I was scared to take medication and didn’t know what to expect. Nothing could be worse than my current situation so I gave in and never looked back.  

It is now 2021, a normal Sunday night and I review my calendar and to-do list for the week.  There it is, glaring at me. A dental appointment on Wednesday. Has it really been 4 months? As I think this to myself, a tingling of anxiety sets into my stomach, churning its contents like a washing machine mid cycle. Within a moment or two, along comes a deep breath of acceptance and I continue on with my night. Before I know it, it is Tuesday afternoon and I get the confirmation call from the office. There is no postponing it now. I have been there countless times and it’s only a cleaning. Relax. As I fall asleep that evening, I will myself into dreamy compliance.

My eyes open gently, the thickness of our blinds shrouds me in darkness although the sun has been up for hours. I flick my wrist over to see my watch which reads 8:30 am. I’ve slept through the night, without waking up to go pee; a small miracle. I’m over 30, it’s just the new normal. Having somehow had a great night sleep I feel rested and bright until I remember it’s a dental day. I sit up in bed, opening my eyes wider and giving them a little rub. Everyone else is already up and at em’, the kids at work, and the dog downstairs with my husband who’s working at his desk. 

I get up, open the blinds and absorb the light. The sun pours into the room like water gushing from a freshly broken dam. I walk into our master bathroom, its marble tiles cold on my feet. My hair is a tangled mess of crumpled curls, half of which managed to stay in a matted bun. I attempt to swallow my nervousness and begin my normal morning ritual. This consists of brushing my teeth, Listerine rinse, followed by washing my face and applying Ponds face cream. It’s the same lotion I have been using since I was a kid.  If they ever stop selling it, I’d be in for a rude awakening.

I look at the time and it’s now 9 am. Time to take my pre-dentist sedative. Something to settle the nerves. It sits under my tongue, dissolving into a calming serum that eases my mind. I get dressed; leggings, a tank top covered by a big comfy hoodie. It is leopard print with the BRUNETTE label splayed across my chest. Every girl needs a little flare, even if it is to get her teeth cleaned. I head downstairs, and my husband is all ready to go. I obviously can’t drive myself having taken an Ativan, so we hop in the vehicle and head out.

On the drive there, I slowly start to feel the drugs kicking in. My stomach flips a bit, while my insides melt into velvet.  I feel alert yet washed over with serenity. Before I know it, we are pulling into the parking lot, as though we teleported. Aaron starts griping about how busy this parking lot always is. There is an adjacent Lab Services building, along with a few other medical offices, so he is not wrong in his observation. Plus we are tad behind which adds to his agitation.  We finally find a parking spot and head upstairs. We are a few minutes late but are greeted with kind sentiments by the receptionist and hygienist. I have had so many things done here, I feel as though I am a regular and they all know my name. Like Cheers, but not nearly as fun. I tell Aaron I love him and will see him later as I follow her into my designated room.  

The dental chair is there, taunting me. It tries to promise comfort but I know what it holds. I set my purse on one of the countertops and take off my mask. I sit back in the chair, my leg shaking, the anxiety that is stifled somewhat by the meds coming to the surface. My hygienist and I exchange a few pleasantries, before she tilts the chair back into the final position. She then gives me a pair of the classic dentist sunglasses, watch out Vogue. My face is angled up toward the obligatory hanging television. It is always on HGTV. Perhaps there is something subconsciously soothing about quirky couples renovating people’s homes. I don’t really get it. But I have downloaded some media onto my phone and plan to listen with my new airpods. This ends up being a mistake as they keep falling out and I end up giving up on them entirely part way through the appointment. My mind starts to think about how many germs it picked up from the dental room floor.

It is now time for the freezing. My least favorite thing in the world. I breathe deeply in and out while carrying out a hand rubbing technique that doesn’t really work, but I do it anyway. After a couple applications of topical ointment, I brace myself as I see the huge needle descending into my mouth. She says “Ok, here we go”. I feel the pressure in the bottom of my cheek, the pain turns to tingles that resonate into one side of my tongue. Ok, one down. I know there are at least 4 more to go so I am not celebrating yet. The second one comes and goes. We then do right between my two upper front teeth. It feels as though the shot is going into my nose, the stinging pressure radiating into my sinus cavity. This is a new spot for the shot and it feels different than usual. Which of course sends my mind into a mild panic.  What if my face is frozen forever? What if there is nerve damage? Before I can completely spiral, there is another shot on the other side, then another.The chemical flavor breaks free from my insides and the syringe, hitting the back of my throat like a punch of metallic bitterness. I burst up, my gag reflex on edge. I use the suction that they allow me wield at my own free will, and gather myself. I lay back down, apologizing through mumbled words. My tongue is now totally numb and my lips feel fat and awkward. She says “It’s alright, just one more to go” ONE MORE? I think to myself but before it has time to sink in, it is over.  My face is now a detached mess, which in its uncomfortableness is a good thing since I know the cleaning is about to begin.

She first takes measurements of my pockets. The space that can grow between the gum and tooth. This gap can trap bacteria and plaque. With advanced gum disease this is the most important thing to monitor. It is normal to have a small space there but over a certain size is when you get into trouble. A few months ago I underwent a new laser treatment that was intense but hopeful to make a huge impact on said pockets. This was the moment of truth. As she reads out the numbers of each tooth, I hear none higher than four. There are a bunch of zeros and ones and I am thrilled. Once the readings are all done, we get down to business. Ultrasonic scaling, followed by manual scaling.  Both of which I can hear happening but can’t feel. The buzz of the water-pick on steroids and the grating of metal against my tooth. To round the visit out, I get treated to a polish and fluoride treatment. She tells me I am all done and that my husband is here to pick me up. It felt like every second lasted forever yet I time travelled.  

The fluoride gunk left on my teeth has a horrible aftertaste that no matter how much I try to spit into my little dixie cup I can’t remedy it. Two hours have passed in that chair and I am a grumpy Gus. My head is spinning as I adjust to being upright. I almost forget to put on my mask but she reminds me.  It’s probably a blessing since my mouth is floppy and unyielding in its numbness. I am drooling involuntarily like I just got lobotomized.  My husband is in the waiting room, masked up but I can see his loving eyes. I’m happy to see him.  

I sulk the whole ride home like a child who was forced to leave their friend’s house early. We get home and I migrate up to our room to sleep off the meds and anesthetic. I close the blinds, converting the room back into a den of darkness. I change into some pajamas and snuggle into bed. I’m still bitter, surprisingly restless and hungry. I turn on the television, putting on something mindless to usher me to sleep. A sense of delight starts to slowly seep in as I close my eyes. I will wake up in a couple hours with pearly white teeth, and a sore mouth, but it is over. For a few months I am free.

Copyright © 2021 Carly Eddy.

[lukerhill]

Building cabinets up to the ceiling

Wow!! I am so thrilled to get this part of the renovation done! I'll admit I was a little anxious on how I would extend our kitchen cabinets so I hesitated a bit. I thought it would be much more involved than it was. Thankfully it went really quickly and was a fairly simple build. (This is a popular updated post from our last home!) For YEARS I've been planning to build our cabinets up to the ceiling. We picked them out more than 11 years ago and went with the shorter versions rather than taller. I knew that tallest shelf would be too high to reach and I was trying not to spend any more money building this house. :) We did have crown and if you have basic cabinets I think it makes a HUGE difference. You can see here where I had taken it down to build in the fridge -- it was still up on the left:

Just adding some crown is a super effective way to make your cabinets look more high end. 

I still would have done this project even with the taller cabinets. I love the look of built ins and building them up to the ceiling just feels more custom to me. 

So here's the thing, I didn't use any fancy tools to build these boxes. They were so crazy basic -- no pocket hole jig even. If you will see the sides of a piece you definitely need to use that, but for these (and the box I built to extend the island), I just use screws: 

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This is my favorite corded drill -- I love it for bigger projects that last longer than my battery operated drill. 

I didn't even use glue (I've learned adjustments may need to be made later). Those who build for a living are probably cringing. :) But these won't be touched much at all and the boxes are strong! My point is, you don't need a ton of tools or a workshop (your kitchen floor is fine) to do things like this. All you need is some wood, a drill and a dream. ;) 

The hard part of every project like this is figuring out the sizing of the boards to make the boxes. I spend most of my time perfecting that. I stand with a tape measure and notebook and draw pictures of what I want to do and end up scratching most of it out before I get to the final. It's how I work it all out in my head. About an hour later I'm ready to have wood cut. 

I have all my pieces cut down at Lowe's -- I didn't do them all at once this time because I was checking sizing as I went. That is SUCH a wonderful service and I don't mind at all that they've started charging for more than a few cuts. It's well worth it to me! 

I built one box at a time and placed them up on top of the cabinets: 

Your cabinets are built to hold quite a bit of weight so don't worry about that -- I later screwed them into the studs above (and to each other) so that took most of the weight off. 

I built actual boxes -- if you are really good you could build the entire piece and then put it up there. You could build one big box with one piece of wood separating each section, but I knew I wanted to mimic the look of the bottom cabinets with trim so I wanted the sides of these to be thicker. I hope that makes sense!

I waited till I had the three installed before I started the cabinet above the fridge. It doesn't go all the way back but I wanted it to go back enough so that I could attach it to the one next to it. It's also screwed into the stud on the wall and into the cabinet below: 

I was already in love!! My husband and child were just humoring me at this point, nodding and saying, yeah it looks greaaaat. Trust!

We had about two feet of space above our cabinets and I made these 16 inches tall. I was adding a header above and didn't want it to be too thick. I also didn't want the cabinets to be too tall either, I thought that would look at little off since our uppers are a basic size. 

Next I had to prep for the header piece. I screwed some scrap wood into the beams in the ceiling for the header to attach to at the top. I didn't get a good pic of this but you can see a piece of that sticking out behind the header to the right in this pic: 

As you can see, after that was secure in the ceiling I was able to attach my header to that and the cabinets. I used a 1x10 piece of wood for this part. 

Also, I didn't remove the crown to put these up -- I knew I could cope new pieces in so that saved me a ton of time. I just notched out a corner in the header so it would fit over the existing crown. 

Next were the finishing touches -- this is my favorite part because things start to come together! I added some trim along the bottom: 

And then I added the vertical trim to mimic the look below: 

I was getting really excited at this point! 

I made the header thick because I have crown and trim that I needed to continue around this part. That takes up about five inches of it. Also, I will be adding lighting inside the cabinets and that will run along the back of the header. This gives me plenty of room to add that and have it hidden. 

Here's a shot I shared on Instagram because I was so excited:

I was working on a deadline here -- I am a procrastinator through and through. I've had weeks to get this done but I work best when I HAVE to get it done. The counters are coming this week and I wanted to get everything up high done that I could. 

I finished up the fridge cabinet and started adding more trim to hide the rough stuff: 

Here's a shot of how that's coming together: 

You can see here we had to have the recessed light moved out a few inches -- it was right in the way of where the crown was going. Renovations are a constant dance of two steps forward and one step back. :) It's hard to see there but if you look close you can see how I added the small trim along the top that goes around the rest of our great room. It's an easy way to make your crown look extra chunky. Here's another shot before the crown was started:

Excuse the mess! We had some drywall fixes to take care of as well. I clearly should just stop trying to clean. A couple of you have asked about the cabinet on the left side -- I won't be moving it because the the way the doors open would be awkward. :) And here's how it's looking with the crown (that I had help with, I'm not great at coping yet):

I absolutely LOVE it. I'm so thrilled!!

When everything is painted it will look exactly like it did in my head all these years. Paint will come last though, so for now I'll just enjoy. :) As of right now I'm not planning to add doors but that may change. If I do they will have glass fronts. I may add one more piece of small trim where the old and new cabinets meet up -- I'm going to wait on that too. I used some extra wood leftover from the fridge enclosure so that helped a ton with costs. I ended up spending maybe another $100 and that includes trim. I would have paid hundreds in labor if we had hired it out. If you have a large space above your cabinets like us, I recommend making them additional upper or open cabinets. If you have less space you can just add the header and close the whole thing up. With a lot of space like we have that would be too big of a header. If you have any questions or if I missed anything please let me know! Have you attempted this project in your home? I know many of you have been thinking about it! **You have to see the finished kitchen makeover here! **Pin this project for later with this image:

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