#like I’m aro so I get that romance isn’t everything

[ccieatchildren]

I’m sure we’ve all seen by now Steve Blackman’s reasoning for Five/Lila stating:

“I felt that Five had to have a love story.”

And how it shows how this man somehow has such a deep fundamental misunderstanding about his own characters. How he helped create the first three seasons of this show and doesn’t realize that

This is Five’s love story.

Umbrella Academy the show wouldn’t exist without Five’s love. The whole plot and story is it.

He is the catalyst of all the plot lines while his family is the center of all the story beats. His love is the instigator for all the events of the show simply because he chooses to do everything possible in the hope that it will save his loves.

It’s not like this was even a subtle idea because Five literally states it himself multiple times over the series!

I just don’t understand how you can get it so wrong.

He creates the Commission in hopes of regulating the timeline so his family won’t get obliterated from existence, tattooing himself with the potential solution to rewriting the universe so they can all live happily one day.

He survives the apocalypse all on his own, when there was no real reason to, just because he believed he could get back to his family, spending 50+ years developing the math to one day do so.

He joins the Commission and murders and maims and manipulates in the desperate attempt that he might have a chance to go back and see/save his family.

He spends the first time he sees his family after over six decades not with them, but rather searching for a way to stop their deaths, sending them all through time when it doesn’t work.

He runs himself ragged stopping apocalypse after apocalypse just for them.

And when he loses all hope, accepting the kugelblitz, he is content to know he is doing so with his family.

As much as this show is about the whole family, ultimately, imo, this is Five’s story about his grueling quest to save the family he loves.

Because otherwise this show wouldn’t exist without him and the rest of the characters would just be decorations in the rubble of a world long gone.

So to say bro needed a love story— he doesn't say romance, but love story— is so durna, like what??? I guess if you really wanted him to have a romance you could do that, but there were many better options than the wife of someone he deeply loves, something he would never do.

(Not to mention all the real world implications of the romance with the actors, production really was waiting for him to be legal ಠ_ಠ)

Also I don’t think it’s a coincidence that many fans view Five somewhere under the aro/ace umbrella (pun intended).

Now, because of this misconstruction the ending of the show also suffers.

Brushing over all the mind boggling things the real ending says about abuse, its victims, and growing from it (which is actually like how did no one look at that and think hmm maybe this isn’t right for the story we’ve been telling), it also misunderstands love. It tells the audience that love isn’t worth it, in a show… about love. Not just Five’s but Hazel/Agnes, Viktor/Sissy, Allison+Claire, and more. How all your pain and suffering and tribulations for those you love are stupid and useless and cringe.

But y’know what, Mr. Blackman, I think you’re cringe for that absolute bonkers bananas ending.

And that’s why having the solution to the series being that Five should have never jumped in the first place would have been the best ending.

Making it so that the only solution to save the whole universe be that Five stay with his family, with those he loved— what he had been trying to do for the whole show— would have been the perfect conclusion to the story. It would show that all he had to do was stay, because that’s all they ever needed, that’s all he ever needed.

AND IT WOULD MAKE LOGISTICAL SENSE.

Five and Viktor are well confirmed to have been the closest ever since they were young. And Five (doesn’t matter if he’s the now Five who lived through the shows events or the young one who ran off) would most certainly be a supportive figure in Viktor’s life. He’s smart, for one, and it wouldn’t be a stretch for him to figure out what was really going on (especially with his hatred of Reginald) and help Viktor that way. But even if he doesn’t, when they grow to adults and Viktor naturally doesn’t take his pills or his power starts showing, Five’s love and care for his (closest) brother would most certainly help prevent the apocalypse. Especially since if Five and Viktor are close, as they grow older, I feel like the others would grow closer as well, maybe not the same degree, but they would be more willing and supportive of Viktor in the end (I feel like Season 1 shows us how at the end of the day the siblings do care for Viktor, but they were just too late, so this time they wouldn’t be).

Through the subway we see the timeline where he jumps still exists, so that should mean there is a way for him not to do that. His jumping (and the siblings he brings along) is what creates the paradoxes and the "need" for the Commission. So by him not jumping, problem solved.

This might come at the cost of the current versions of the characters, but I think if they can make the developmental journeys they did once, I think they can do it again, and have a happy ending.

(Also the Jennifer incident wouldn’t happen either bcs of Five or just bcs that plot line was so fluffin stupid, so yay alive Ben)

(And Diego and Luther meet Lila and Sloane respectively cuz they are also part of the marigold brood so they still do exist at the same time, so yay happy couples)

It is somewhat simple, but I think that works as well, especially for a character like Five. He spends so much time looking at all the different equations, trying to find some complex solution to everything, trying permutation after permutation (as evidenced by our and the diner Five's), when it was right in front of him. Idk, I just think it would be nice if he just decided to stay with his siblings instead of running off.

Sure it may not be completely perfect, maybe Ben still does die, or Klaus can’t meet Dave again, or characters still find themselves prey to their arrogance but I don’t think it needs to be, because real life isn’t perfect. But the bonds we make and the love we share makes it so, a major theme the Umbrella Academy isn't unfamiliar with.

And it just makes me so deeply sad that this isn’t the ending we got. That this isn’t the ending the characters got.

They deserve so much better than Blackman gave them, and it’s a disgrace that he didn’t.

[physalian]

So, I’ve written posts utterly baffled by writers who think tackling the intimate nuances and complexities of minorities/ disabilities/ neurodivergences that they don’t have based on ego and research is just easy and no one will notice. But like… there aren’t rules for any of these demographics. All aces don’t think the same way, that’s why there’s like 20 different specific labels under the ace/demi umbrella.

But the reason I don’t think anyone can get by on research alone if this character’s quirk (for simplicity’s sake) is the whole plot and their defining feature is this: There is no ‘default’ person and the 50s-esque model citizen was a caricature. Odds are somebody isn’t “perfectly normal” just with one little outlier trait. We’re all different mixes and blends so saying “I’m gonna write a gay dude, I read this one blog by a gay dude and I’m an expert” is just. No.

This is also assuming that it’s realistic for your character to be absolutely certain about themselves and can diagnose or label themselves with medical accuracy. We’re all just vibin’, you know? Some might, and kudos to them, still wierd to so confidently write something you researched like cramming the night before a final.

Like, if you tell me you wrote an ace, and you yourself are straight or simply not ace and have no ace friends or relatives and just thought it would be cool, but your book is an intense deep-dive into asexuality, I’d bet very good money that it is not, in fact, a deep dive into asexuality, just your extrapolation based on a modicum of research and your own biases.

You’re missing out on so much personal context. I’m ace. Also, possibly aro? But also unofficially diagnosed as autistic and I can’t get a real diagnosis because reasons. And everyone is different so I don’t know where the boundary lies between “this is an autistic thing” and “this is an ace thing” and “this is an aro” thing. You, intrepid author, can’t expect to articulate that if a real person living with it can’t.

You can’t articulate it, because I can’t articulate it, and I’m probably contradicting myself all over the place in a giant game of mental Twister. Like. Romance sounds great, but I’m also fiercely independent and am too used to doing everything alone to actually picture being a healthy team and not having to carry it like groupwork in high school. That image just does not compute.

Or, romance sounds great, but I can’t love you the way you expect and odds are I’m not going to want to sleep with you… but I’ll watch your favorite TV show with you and I’ll buy you that box of candy that you probably forgot you mentioned wistfully wanting last week and I’ll make sure the fridge is stocked with your favorite snack and I’ll do the driving and I’ll text you memes and funny pictures and song recommendations to make you smile and I’ll do 100 other things desperately trying to make up for the guilt of both wanting you to find me attractive, but not actually finding you attractive, but it's actually finding the effort I make and the choices within my power that I want you to find attractive and not 'nice ass' or whatever, of wanting you around and wanting love, but not wanting sex and I guess if you cheat but it's "just sex" I have to deal because you've got "needs" and you're "normal" and I'm lucky to have you around without putting out. While simultaneously daydreaming about an imaginary person who doesn't expect those 100 other things done from guilt, but I got bills to pay and can't be selfish and, well, that person doesn't exist.

But sure, your ace is gutwrechingly realistic because they're an android or an alien and are incapable of a sex drive anyway and not human because, what? All humans have a sex drive, you donut. You just haven't met the right person yet.

No one is just one thing in isolation and otherwise “perfectly normal”. The arrogance and naivety it takes from so many writers who think this can’t be shocked when the negative feedback comes in. Write inclusively. Do not write the deeply personal struggles of a life you did not live, that someone reading your book can look at and think, wow, I can’t believe how wrong they got it. Do I expect to read a perfect copy of myself in someone else's ace charcater? No. Every ace is different, but there's the "ace" flag for a reason.

[aroacecharacters]

I have the opposite problem. As someone who's quoioromantic I don't know how to write alloromantics correctly. I know both of you are Aro-Spec but please post this so others can, thanks!! <3

~💖✨

Okay let’s see if I can help a bit…

So I believe allos start out with some form of attraction, usually aesthetic which for them combines with romantic and sexual attraction. Though appearance isn’t necessarily a factor when they feel attracted, it seems to frequently start with thinking the other person looks good.

That usually leads to them getting to know the other person a bit before deciding to be partners. Sometimes this can be casual, or sometimes this is going on dates. It’s best for them to have a few things in common. This is sometimes called the “talking” stage.

Then they agree to become partners and this is the “dating” stage. This has its own “honeymoon phase” where at first the characters are excited to be together. They are still getting to know each other more and figuring out boundaries and things.

Then after dating they get engaged and married but those are usually after a good amount of time.

So when you are writing these romances you want to give readers a reason to want these characters to end up together.

Give them chemistry. Give them reasons to want to be around each other. Develop their friendship along with their romance.

When they start “having feelings” for each other describe how it makes them feel. Butterflies in their stomach, they blush more around them, they get nervous just talking or being near them. But they always want to be near them.

(For example: If I like someone, I don’t care what they are talking about, I just enjoy watching them be passionate about something.)

There’s a lot of things people do when they have crushes and it takes some work, but just sprinkle these things in, and that’s a start.

Also, just like in your plot in general, throw in a little tension. Relationships aren’t always sunshine and rainbows. But please have your characters communicate! (Unless you really like the miscommunication trope. Also, that advice applies to real life.)

I can’t cover everything, and I’m hoping I’m not too redundant, but just like other topics you’re writing, it’s best to do some research. And there’s a lot of media about romance.

I hope this helped a little, I only have a tiny amount of experience dating someone but I do like reading romances.

-Mod Ryn

[absurdly-overpowered-astronaut]

Aro-ace headcanons >:3

I have a lot of queer head canons for Code Geass. Despite not having any outright confirmed Queer characters to my understanding asidefrom intro girl (“actually I want to kiss Milly” girl you will always be famous) it is a very queer piece media in so many ways.

Specifically I want to hone in on some Aro-ace readings of certain characters.

Firstly I really like veiwing C2’s story through the lens of being Aroace or as being a metaphor for the aroace experience. C2 wants to be loved and so when she gets her Geass its the ability to make people love her but its not what she really want. She wanted genuine connection and community but instead she gets a superficial artificial devotion.

It remains me of how Aroace people often want close relationships and intimacy but not romance/sex so they seek out romantic relationships because they think its what they want but they don’t want love in that way. They don’t want the superficial aspects of relationship but the emotional connection.

C2 didn’t realise at first when she got her geass that the love she wanted and the love her Geass gave her weren’t the same. She didn’t want to be loved in that way. She didn’t so much want love well she didn’t want the superficial aspects of love/associated with love (kind words , gifts ect) but rather the genuine connection.

Much like how aroace people don’t always want sex or kissing or to hold hands or whatever but rather want a genuine connection and they often mistake those things for the love that they want in out heteronym/romance-norm society.

She is also often dehumanised alot which though maps pretty well to really any and all minority groups unfortunately…but dose have an aroace angle. To have sex and want love are seen as an essential part of the human experience so the absence of these desires in aroace people leads to dehumanisation. Not that this evidence would hold up if it was the only piece just that its an interesting aspect to my pre-existing reading.

Mao loves her in a way that isn’t exclusively romantic it’s weird and messy romantic love mixed with possessiveness and maternal love / familial love plus some other stuff. You can’t put their relationship in a clean box but for his time in his episodes its mostly framed as romantic and C2 says she loved him but as a friend/mother/older sister/guardian figure not romantically/exclusively like he wanted. People feeling intitled to the love of a arco-ace person (especially aro-ace women or just like women in general unfortunately) so him being so insistent on making her love him even though she’s not interested and him thinking that something must be wrong because why wouldn’t see love him? He’s doing everything right! She just needs to be convinced!

Her whole thing with mao is similar to a common Aro-ace experience. Not that allo people can’t have unrequited love thats forced on them just that this is a common aro-ace experience.

I couldn’t quite explain this all right but hopefully the idea gets across.

Though I primarily headcanon Lelouch as gay I also like reading him as aroace for a lot of the same reasons I read him as gay

-seems genuinely pretty uninterested and even uncomfortable with romance.

-Seems to see it as an obligation(ie Shirley kiss)/hindrance (ie the fan girls at school)

-is expected to date women by Sayoko , his friend group and the rest of the school 

-usually never the one who initiates the kisses he gets through the story (ie C2 at the start of R2 , shirly , Kallen at the end of R2) the only time he dose initiate is when force kisses Kallen when she finds him about to take refrain but that comes of to more as more het-norm/rom-norm and desperation (not it makes it okay)

Ect

I read this as him being uninterested in women but I like and think you could also read this as him just not being interested in anyone and only engaging out of rom-norm or obligation (he’s also my favourite and I’m a-sexual and probably a-romantic too and he’s my blorbo and I like projecting onto him)

Lastly and certainly leastly Loyd…Loyd I love you but the grown your character is built upon sure is shaky. Loyd is the closest to being canonically Aro-Ace he says so himself that he doesn’t really feel anything towards other people and is arranged marriage to milly seems purely out of convenience (if I’m remembering right) buttttt thats less because Lyod is Aro-ace coded and more because Lyod is based in some not so great scientist tropes that draw on stereotypical autistic/nd traits…I think he even calls himself a sociopath? When he is talking to Nina about having to choose between your heart and science and how he didn’t have to make the choice because he dosed have a heart which a bit yikes for a ND coded character to be characterised as having not empathy sure do low the low empathy rep here haha…ahhhh loyd I love you but I hate you

He’s the mad scientist who doesn’t understand emotions and is married to his work and though that translates to some very aro-ace coded scenes/lines and I do head canon him as such its more shaky…

[chonnysinferno]

tumblr deleted my ask :( anyway first n most importantly, could you listen to bopgil https://youtu.be/rORI1sZM-9I?si=wwaYyY82DnO9VLHk

anyway can i send you odd asks more often

anyway anyway i thought that was a completely one sided thing like. yeah. sometimes i just rotate people in my mind for a bit n then stop . pokes you with stick

juke’s towers of hell is a tower styled obby game. while you may be cascading down the social spiral, perhaps you will be able to ascend one of these trauma inducing towers

my head hurts so much but i got fries i think it’s because of malnutrition i don’t eat enough

fuckin like. i made a vaguepost about you. just two star crossed tumblr users. i guess that’s probably weird whatever

at first i saw cjshippers on your dni and i was like ok. goodbye then. and then it’s just like that one time you horribly interpreted my post about aro mind which i definitely said in a way liable to misinterpretation when i maintagged it aka i should’ve known better and then someone i admired at time took your misinterpretation n that was so fear and then i avoided you and now you are just like. oh it’s that person again. in my notes. on occasion. youre a cryptid tawa mi… i spin my pencil sometimes. badly. so sometimes when i am thinking now i get the urge to spin my pencil and i am thinking abt it right now. spinning fry gets fry seasoning in my hands so. i wrote loveless aro heart but it’s in a fic i definitely didn’t intend platinically. it’s this thing right. shipping is so weird because i’m aromantic and when it comes down to it, the difference between romance ala romance just seems like wording. a label. cause friends can do everything that partners can and there’s no depth difference so like wh huh? i call it a shipfic but it could be considered as just thing different than how i usually write thing like. i make them kiss. whatever. i focus on how close an intimate they feel. but i could also do that when romance li lon ala. so. allos are so weird to me. still figuring out what i think of the word love but still. allos……. ? ? ? anyway writing relationships where it not being love ISN’T A FLAW is so so enrichment i should do it more

pokes you with a stick pokes you with a stick pokes you with a stick hiiiii hi hi hi hiii

it’s like the mutual i would usually send writing asks has established it likes ‘weird violence’ and complicated dynamics n such so i can send stuff w/o fear i know it a little bit however i don’t know. what is up. with you. i literally saved something i sent to it so i could just put that here however that feels like cheating and or betrayal. you turn the corner to your kitchen and i’m standing there. consuming ice very loudly and aggressively. recklessly even. ‘so do you think about the transient nature of any positive hms relationship’, i ask. what do you do (also i have plugged my own ice maker in btw)

also i’ve already convinced three (3) mutuals to watch centricide so if you do i will feel even more powerful like ohhhh wawa mi li kama suli…. surprisingly they didn’t eviscerate me very cool

it’s like showing up to the function like oh so you rbed that post you like those types of relationships. writes something down. ok so can i write about [paragraph redacted cause i realized maybe there’s a reason you shouldn’t put gore and cannibalism in someone’s inbox without permission. so can i put gore n cannibalism in your inbox :3]

NEW CENTRICIDE THEORY: radcen is called the ringleader of the centrists cause he

i forgot the joke fuck

i am so sorry im like. drawing funny objects (when im not supposed to0 be but SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH shhshshshshhb) and watching centricide rn sodfsdfkjkljddmklslmk im like. really scatterbrained im sorry HGAHAHGHAS yea im already watching it btw feel more poiwerful in return you should watch hfjone if you havent tho. like a trade of interests i get into yours you get into mine >:-)c sorry for like. misinteruptting that one post that one time. hides away i n shame i think that was like. the time i actually knew you existed. for a negative reason ^_^''''''''''' i try not to think about it cause i dont think ur still mad at me for that. hopefully this is goign to be like not arranged in the order of the ask (aka im not reading this in the way this is written. things are being answered in a way that makes no sense) PLEASE SEND ME ASKS even if they are odd. actually the odder the better im going to be honest with you i do not get much interaction askwise so. it brings me joy it wasnt a one sided thing LMFAO i guess i can see why ud see that. no its weird idk whats going on anymore. hi tho!!! is continously poked with a stick. youch. twitches like a bug uhjhmmhmhmhmh ill try jtoh i rememebr you ranting about it sometime but i dont rmemeber any of it i am so sorry also dont vaguepost about me. coward /JOKE that is funny thjo HAHAHAH also eat more. or i will find you. dont malnourish yourslef /silly idk about the shipping thing. i dont get shipping either im going to be honest with you romance is like. just not understandable to me??????????? i cant comprehend why this happens. what is romance continues to be poked more. stares at you i dotn know whats up with me either maybe someone else knows. i dont know much about myself so ^_^ being called a cryptid is probably the best way to describe me i feel. yeag put anything you want aslong as its not. nsfw or smth. ill smite you also can i have some ice pls ice is great wdym by relationship do you mean like. platonic??? romantic????? what do you mena byt his i think ive answered everything i keep having 2 scroll up LOL also edit (once again i know) i did enjoy the video link u sent thank u

[legoshurtmyfeet]

Romance ❤️‍🔥

(And look at the emoji that comes up at that word- interesting huh!?)

Im not sure how to explain this one…

Romance … still undecided about this one. Never even considered aro until a year or two ago but maybe, maybe there’s something there and I’ve been confused

Because I want something I can’t quite feel

Or because I thought I wanted something I was meant to feel??

I think I can explain it best like this-

Wedding dresses…

I love wedding dresses love them- always have. When I was ten ish I invented and played pretend shop with a friend. We had the whole thing set up in my loft - a till, a catalogue with wedding dresses I’d drawn, appointment book, pretend cheques and credit cards, shoes, veils. Everything. It was called Silver Life. I had business cards, accessories. I made the whole thing. I even had some old wedding dresses my mum had found somewhere for me.

But here’s the important part….

I never never imagined my wedding dress or my wedding. That didn’t have anything to do with me. I loved weddings and the dresses but I was never in the role of bride.

Other girls had ideas about their wedding/their dress/ perfect wedding/dream wedding/day

Not me, not at ten not at 15 or at 21 when the only man I’d ever felt anything for broke up with me because “I’d want to get married soon and have children”

I’d never expressed such a desire, never really thought about it and that was of course not the true reason he dumped me after four years over the phone.

Fun fact- I did not have children for another 10 years and even then it was a decision not a overwhelming desire.

I love weddings but I never imagined a wedding or a declaration of eternity for me not when I was little, not with boyfriend number 1, not in the first months of heady infatuation and lust with my current partner. He did, he spoke of love and engagements, he put a harabo ring on my finger “as a joke” he meant it.

We thought I might be pregnant 5 weeks into the relationship- I wasn’t and I have never been more relieved about anything ever… he was disappointed, bless him. He would have married me.

So I think my feelings about love and romance are like my feelings for weddings.

I like the concept, the beauty of it all, the idea of love and forever but just the idea.

Just the concept of it. In real life I do love deeply please don’t misunderstand that but it’s not a heady romantic love. It’s not the love I write about that makes my heart trip when I read it. That kind of love is unwelcome in real life. It makes me feel uncomfortable at times.

So although I never want to be without him, I know that I would not choose him over all else, the other people I love. I would not follow him anywhere or leave my family for him. I know that’s true for other people too but for some people it isn’t. Love is blind, love makes fools of us all, follow your heart… and so on.

That’s not in me, am I sad about it? Maybe a little but it’s just how I am so it’s ok too and I’m happy. I just don’t feel like that.

Love for me is a choice, a decision something I thought (quite literally) might as well give it a go and 25 years later here i am.

I don’t burn 🔥 like the romance ❤️‍🔥 heart

I never have but I yearn for it sometimes like a moth looking at the light, I wish I could feel it but I’d be terrified if I did.

I don’t know if that makes sense? I have more thoughts around this I’ll share later.

[lara-eats-the-rich]

[CW: Mentions of violence, gore, sex? I guess?]

So uh, a friend of mine told me that I desperately needed to make an account here, so here I am. Name’s Lara, and I’m a shapeshifter. Been one for 6 or 7 years now. I won’t really go into how that all happened – kinda ashamed of it, made a pact with some demon or whatever and am now cursed with only being able to sate my hunger by eating human flesh – not particularly pleasant to most people, I imagine, but I make do.

There’s plenty of not-so-great people out there that won’t be missed, ya know? Corrupt people, I mean. I’m not some monster who goes and eats innocent people off the street. It’s more fun anyway to lure in some corrupt asshole only to tell them that their actions have consequences.

Fun. Yeah. It’s uh, really fun, actually. Like, really fun. Half the reason I became a shapeshifter in the first place was because of the fun of playing a character, if that makes sense. I could pretend to be literally anyone. The other half of the reason is because I hated who I had to be. Course, I didn’t expect the whole curse thing when I asked that “doctor” for the medicine. Only after starting the treatment did they tell me about the whole eating people thing. Wasn’t too pleased about that, as you can imagine – they only revealed themselves as a demon or something when I tried to kill them. Scared the shit out of me. Haven’t seen them since.

You’d think that whole situation doesn’t lend itself much to making friends, but there’s communities for everything, it turns out. I’m not even the only shapeshifter. Far from it, actually. I mean, the “hating who I had to be” thing isn’t uncommon either – I did label myself as trans for a while, but not anymore. I’m not limited to one look, one person, one form - so much for ‘basic biology’, eh?

Actually, I know a gal who’s got much stronger shapeshifting stuff than me. We’re really good friends, actually. She’s trans, too, but spends most of her time in her actual body, even if she could get to exactly where she wants to be with a snap of her fingers. It’s kinda remarkable, actually. She says it’s because she doesn’t know how she’ll end up looking anyway. That’s pretty brave of her, I think.

As far as I know, she got into the whole shapeshifting thing because of a demon, too. I mean, they call themselves a demon, or a goddess, or a demon-goddess, so it’s not strictly the same thing. Amy’s not even cursed by it or anything. Lucky bitch. The ‘goddess’, as she calls them, apparently granted her the shapeshifting stuff because – get this – she wants Amy to be her heir. Yeah. So now she and the goddess have the same abilities. Supposedly she’s the goddess of chaos and change or something, but I’ve never heard of her. Their abilities even extend to other people, too. They make these little symbols, or gestures, or something with their hands and then they can just… change anyone. Amy, because she’s a nice person, only does it with willing participants – I’ll get into those later – but the goddess just does in on whoever she feels like, and calls it divine retribution, funnily enough.

I think I used to know her in school, actually. Weird coincidence, I guess. Course, we were both different people, metaphorically and literally. That was long before any of the transform-y things. It’s not that we were even friends, particularly. Well, we are now, of course, but we just didn’t really talk. I guess it took both of us to become the ‘real’ us before we actually got close to each other.

I mean, we’re not like that with each other. Found out pretty quickly after trying to uhh… “lure” in some food that I’m not really into sex. Or romance, particularly, either. So I guess I’m aro-ace. I just use it to get closer to my food so I can… you know. It’s got me in some pretty funny scenarios, looking back. Like, several times I’ve lured in a guy who ends up wanting me to give him head, only for me to literally eat his dick. I mean, it’s not that simple, of course, I won’t just go straight in for it, but I’m not interested in pleasuring the other people aside from just tricking them. That’s the fun bit.

Stuff like that is kinda the worst part about the eating people thing, though. But I have figured out some nice little ways around the actually yucky bits. You know, like the stomach, and uhh… lower bits. I’ve found that I can make some sort of chemical that basically causes all of that to get expelled from the body before I actually eat the targets. I don’t wanna deal with all the yucky stuff.

The process of getting rid of it all is kinda gross unfortunately – I usually bump into them “accidentally” and give them a little prick of the chemicals, then over the course of a week they sorta… throw up all of the bits I won’t eat. Not pleasant for them, sure, but its all turned into sludge anyway so it’s not like its recognisable to anyone. After that they feel perfectly fine, as if nothing happened. Not really sure if they can actually live properly after that, not having a digestive system and all. At least, by the time I give them that little injection I’ve already decided that they’re the target anyway.

There’s also another chemical I have that clots a lot of their blood where I bite them – I guess it’s a venom of sorts, which is kinda cool. Stops a lot of the major bleeding. Makes it so I don’t have to clean up too much. I’ve kinda gotten used to it, as you can tell. I used to put a lot of time into not leaving a trace behind, especially before the chemical stuff, but Amy and the goddess gave me all sorts of ideas that really help out so much. Shame I can’t share a meal with them. I mean, I guess I can, but I don’t get any sustenance from regular food. Still tastes good, though.

Jeez, I’ve really typed a lot, haven’t I? Maybe I’ll wrap it up for now. I’ll probably write some of my experiences down with the whole hunting thing sometime if anyone wants to read it. I guess its sorta incriminating, but it’s not like I can be arrested or something. I can probably escape from anywhere. That’s an odd thought, isn’t it? Anyway yeah, bad-guy-eating stories coming soon, I suppose. Or maybe let me know if there’s something you want to ask me? I’m open to that.

[weathertheraine]

tsukiyama and/or kuroken for the ship bingo!

Tskym has been done!

KUROKEN!! Childhood best friends together forever! I know I’m saying this for everything but I rlly hate so much fanon kuroken - to the point where i actively avoided the ship at first. Ppl do them both so dirty. UwU kenma and fuckin. Gross manipulative kuroo i am holding you away with a ten foot pole. Thank you @unacaritafeliz for converting me with your very good takes and your love for kuroo. I Get It now.

They can be so good. It’s about knowing each other so well, being each other’s safe space and coming-home feeling. They’d both do literally anything for each other.

Again !! I keep picking qpr but i think it’s bc i love couples who are best friends first - for a lot of these the Romance aspect isn’t necessarily what’s important to me,, I just need them to love each other So Much :,,) I like hcs of aro kenma !! And kuroo who is their Person and never feels ‘cheated’ out of anything, bc all he wants is to be with kenma and make them happy.

Thank u for the ask !! Here’s the bingo !!

[siriusly-rem]

HEARTSTOPPER S2 SPOILERS

I’m not gonna lie, I cried at Isaac’s arc

Like as an aroace person myself, I could literally feel the confusion surrounding him. He was surrounded by couples everywhere, which then sort of lights a bulb in your head like “why don’t I have a s/o?”

As we saw in S1, Isaac didn’t really care about relationships. Nor did he really care in the beginning of S2. It was just him and his books. But his “loneliness” (and I’m putting it in quotes because i don’t think he was lonely) is impossible to ignore when he realizes it’s just him and his books.

When he begins to get attention from James it’s nice, it’s refreshing, and it’s so easy to get confused. Especially when you never even considered you could be aro and/or ace. And he rejoined the party after kissing James and realizing he did in fact not have feelings—only to be met with everyone having fun and being coupley. It freaking sucks. And I felt a tear of my own roll down my cheek just as he did too. Because it truly feels like there’s something wrong with you.

It took me years before I even heard about aromantics and asexuals. And let me tell you once I got that information it was like the I fell into place. I no longer felt like an awkward puzzle piece that could not fit into the puzzle that is the world. It clicked and everything made sense. And you can see that at the art gallery where the artist tells Isaac about their piece and this look of peace and relief washes over him. (I cried here too)

AND THEN AT PROM WHERE HE GRABS THE ASEXUAL BOOK TO LEARN MORE. Ugh he’s just like me fr

Anyway, there isn’t a lot of asexual and aromatic representation and while I also identify myself with other characters and their experiences, Isaac was something else for me. A lot of people seem to brush of aros and aces even in LBGT community itself.

It’s hard enough living in a world that puts sex and romance on a pedestal, don’t forget us. Thank you Alice Oseman for including us.

We are the ‘A’ in LGBTQIA+ ‼️

[bloop-im-a-frog-now]

As an aroace writer, I always want to include aspec characters in my stories, whether it's the point of the story, or just a little thing on the side about them. There are so many directions I can take when writing these characters, especially if it's an experience I've never had, but that's the problem.

People have often told me I can change whatever headcanon I have for one character when writing fanfiction, and while that helped me liberating from my closed-minded view of fanfiction writing, I just can’t help but feel like I’m offending someone whenever I write aspec characters. 

I want to write aroallo characters, I want to write loveless aros, I want to write sex-favorable aces, I want to write a QPR that's sex favorable and a QPR that's just an intimate bond between two characters without sex. I want to write everything I see on the aromantic and asexual tags, and it frustrates me that I can't.

Since I’ve decided to headcanon c!Scar as aroallo and try to incorporate that in my writing as much as possible, I just have this feeling that I’m writing it wrong. That I didn’t encapsulate the aroallo experience. Which isn’t a fair pressure to put on myself, especially since I’ve never experienced sexual attraction (that’s up to debate). But I can’t help but want to write every aroallo experience out there. They get so little rep and I feel bad that I’ve tainted their image even more by writing Scar as aroallo, as if my little headcanon destroyed the world. 

That’s an exaggeration. I can't write the "perfect" aromantic or asexual character, heck, I don't think I could write the "perfect" aroace character. And I wish I could make everyone happy, by showing them "look! this is a loveless aromantic character that is quite happy to be by themselves!" or "look! this is a married asexual person with their queer platonic partner and they have a bunch of cats!". But that'd be impossible. And it frustrates me.

So, while it makes me sad I can't write a romance-repulsed aroallo character and showing they're non-sam, or I can't write a sex-favorable asexual character and writing experiences I never had, I just hope that one day, maybe one day, we'll get more than aroace rep, and that one day, we can all be happy and satisfied and make more content with aspec characters.

And mostly, I hope someday I can write aspec characters without feeling guilty, without thinking I’m doing something wrong, even though I did all the research possible and was even approved by a couple of my aroallo friends. 

This probably doesn't make any sense, sorry...

[abucketofweird]

Heartstopper Live Reaction: Ep. 6 Truth/Dare

- When do u graduate??? Damn that must hurt

- Oh shit the girls comments

- Not where’s Waldo as a little activity (isn’t it something else in different places?)

- Ohhhh I love the friendship talks

- ISSACS ARO COLORS SHIRTTTT

- THEY DEF MEANT THAT

- again the couples together then Issac is hard

- I’ve felt that before and it SUCKSSS

- AHHH THE CONFESSION

- I’m glad they had someone who didn’t know until adulthood

- It’s realistic for so many people

- HAPPY BIRTHDAY TARA

- I’m so glad Imogen is integrated into their group

- Issac just coming in and out of frame with more books is an amazing joke my god

- All the montages are adorable

- REPRESENTATION MAKING NICK COMFORTABLE WITH PDA

- Also all the rainbows lol

- ISSAC BOUGHT LOVELESSS OMFG I CANT

- Also the amount of books is adorable

- That’s like $800 or more in books practically

- Wow that’s a massive party

- Now they are kissing all over lol

- Oh Issac I’m so sorry I feel left out

- It sucks to feel like u don’t have anyone

- Especially since everyone is just kissing all over

- WAS BEN INVITED TF?!??!

- Oh Issac bby

- James saying the crush thing reminds me of the scene where Nick and Charlie first kissed

- Ohhhhh Issac

- I don’t want a romance for him but at least he seems ace

- THE TEAR

- NO HOMOPHOBIA HERE HARRY

- I’m glad Harry is growing

- It’s important for people to be able to grow

- BUT YESS HE HURT U YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY ALLOWED TO NOT FORGIVE HIM

- Tao that crawl was terrifying

- WTF WHO US THAT PERSON

- damn I knew this would be an issue

- His friends sticking up for him is so great

- AWWWWWWWWWWWW

- Not the “I called it”

- NICK IS SO GREAT HES DOING SO GOOD GLAD EVERYONE REACTED WELL

- Interesting that they ran her down the hall when a bathroom was right there

- They must know that alch makes u sick why did they grab the teachers

- OH SHIT I CANT WATCH THIS

- everyone in school will def know sorry Nick

- OMG HE JUST WANTS TO SHARE IT

- Oh the boys def planned to let Nick and Charlie be alone

- YESSSS CONSENT

- I’m so glad they are showing the sex discussions on screen

- CONSENT IS KEY AND THEY ARE SO GREAT FOR SHOWING THISSS

- God Issac is my baby and I love him and want him to be happy

- AHHHH ILY DARCY IS SO GOOD

- oooooohh teachers getting wild

- AGHHHHHHHHH

- everything is so freaking cute

- Charlie is the big spoon confirmed

- THE HEART ON INSTA HOLY SHITTTTT

- I don’t want them to leave their Paris bubble the angst is coming

This episode could also be considered my favorite!!! The Issac content really grew and the little nods towards his aroace identity are ramped up!! The idea that someone can grow up and change but you can still not forgive them for their actions is so important!!! There was so much adorableness in this ep for Charlie and Nick, Tara and Darcy (at the end anyways), and Elle and Tao!!!

100/10

[bashsbooks]

Loveless Book Review

★★★★★ ~ 5 out of 5 stars

Loveless, Alice Oseman’s fourth and most recent novel, has yanked asexuality and aromanticism to the forefront of book club discussions with its insanely relatable characters and the messy way they go about figuring out interpersonal relationship dynamics. And as a certified, card-carrying queer who has a lot of aro and ace friends, I am totally here for it. I was so happy and excited to see them represented in popular, mainstream media - and in YA, no less! But I am juuuust old enough to remember when queer representation trickled into books like crumbs, rather than the whole cookie, so to speak, so I was surprised - and delighted - to realize that the ensemble cast of Loveless represented across the rainbow, that this book was not about an aroace woman adrift in a sea of allocishets, but about her discovering our community and finding her place within it.

Loveless follows Georgia Warr, a freshman at Durham University in England, who is obsessed with the idea of romance, but finds herself repulsed and uncomfortable whenever she tries to get involved with anyone. Her two best friends from secondary school, Pip Quintana and Jason Farley-Shaw, are with her at Durham, and she becomes fast friends with two other people on campus: her roommate, Rooney Bach, and her college parent, Sunil Jha. Navigating the university environment, the meshing of old friendships with new, and the confusing realization that she may not, in fact, feel any sort of attraction, Georgia grows to understand herself and relate to those around her more authentically.

This is a hilarious coming-of-age novel, but it also doesn’t pull its punches. It’s not afraid to let its leads fuck up. Georgia and her friends feel authentic. They are a gaggle of eighteen year olds (except Sunil, who is a couple of years older), and they still have a lot of growing up to do, some of which they do throughout the novel. The conflicts are relatable; I remember being a teenager and trying to figure out my gender and sexuality, feeling like an imposter within the queer community, and not being one hundred percent happy about the conclusions that I came to. 

Even if you aren’t queer, Georgia is relatable in other ways - she worries about not having enough friends, about not being cool at parties, about having hobbies that are ‘weird’ (she loves slash fic… this book really slapped me in the face by referencing Drarry and Korrasami in the second chapter). 

Which leads me to something else that I love about this book: the references! I feel like I’m the perfect age to get all of the references in Loveless, from those iconic ships (and a few more that are referenced later) to the live action Scooby-Doo movies. Shakespeare also comes up a lot, because Georgia’s roommate, Rooney, is obsessed with Shakespeare - this speaks less to my age group, but still heavily to my interests. (Georgia does roast John Keats at one point, though. Not cool, Georgia.)

The way the characters learn information feels more natural than I’m used to in mainstream queer media. Oftentimes, it is awkward and stilted, definitional and over-explanatory, usually so that the (non-queer) audience knows what words like ‘aromantic’ and ‘asexual’ mean. I find this type of scenario inauthentic, as most of my experience learning new sexuality and gender terminology comes from someone of that sexuality or gender very casually explaining, rather than me looking it up in the OED. Even when I do start by Googling it, my second step is always finding a primary source that isn’t so… well-rehearsed. Georgia learns new terms from her friends in much the same way I did, and I like that inclusion. 

Honestly, I like pretty much everything about this book. I’m pleased to rate it 5 out of 5 stars. I’m excited to read more Alice Oseman soon - I’ve already picked up the first volume of Heartstopper from the library!

[tttrashmouth]

one of my friends swiped up on my insta story a few weeks ago with something kind of flirty and i’ve been thinking about it ever since because like,, i identify as aromantic, i don’t really wanna actually date anyone, talking and flirting i guess is kind of fun but i just cannot bring myself to date people, it feels wrong. so she swiped up and i told my (allo) friend/roommate about it and they know i’m aro and i’ve explained this shit to them before and they say they get it, but i just don’t think they do. i hung out with the friend who swiped up on my story and it was fun considering we’re already friends and i mean, idk i wasn’t going to initiate anything because i’m not trying to date anyone, or start a relationship or anything. if her and i flirt or are affectionate it’s just like, that’s how we are. the two of us have tried dating in the past and it didn’t work and we decided we’re best as friends and i’m fully okay with that, in fact i’m thrilled about it because I AM AROMANTIC!! idk it’s just so frustrating and i feel like i’m missing something?? idk??? it just feels like my roommate is expecting it to progress like an average romantic relationship and it just simply won’t. we will probably stay friends and hold hands and go on picnics and see concerts and live our lives as friends, platonically and i’m okay with that and she seems okay with that so like,,, idk i just hate how everything is so romance focused and it just makes it frustrating to talk to people about because they’re expecting something more and there isn’t idk

[blufox3542]

Shout out to all my fellow aromantic people who are obsessed with the concept of romance.

[canonically47]

THANK YOU. i don’t need many aro and/or ace characters, i just want romantic relationships to be less of a focus in fandoms. i like rarepairs and silly ships as much as the next guy, but it gets to the point where EVERYBODY has to be in a relationship and EVERYBODY has to be paired and if you say “hey guys maybe we should let friends be friends” you are immediately dubbed homophobic, or against cringe culture, or whatever the fuck, when that isn’t even your point.

no, i don’t ship your ships because i’m homophobic or against two men who have never breathed each other’s air making out ugly style. i’ve watched a full-length fan-made film based on the romance between two characters that never met. i’ve written fanfiction. i love exploring certain romances.

but when it gets to a point where everyone has to do everything about romance - when every fic is romantic, every character is paired, nobody can have friends - it becomes an issue. you are making fandoms inaccessible for aroacespecs, especially those that are repulsed by romance and/or sex, and that’s the true tragedy, not the so-called ‘cringe culture’ you claim i am a part of when i tell you that these two would, in fact, not make a good couple.

At the end of the day the actual heart of the matter isn't whether it's okay to ship aro/ace characters, it's the fact that so many people do not know how to interact with media or write fanfiction that isn't centered around romantic + sexual relationships.

There are so few canon aro and/or ace characters that it shouldn't even be an issue. The question shouldn't be "Are we allowed to do the exact same thing with this .0001% of characters that we do with the other 99.9999% of characters?" it should be "What can I do with this fun opportunity to explore these characters and stories in a different way?"

[merely-a-caricature]

What does it mean to be Sex/Romance Ambivalent?

The majority of people on the aspec are aware of favorable, indifferent, etc. when talking about personal stances toward romance/sex. But what about ambivalent? I don’t see people mentioning it nearly as much. I’ll give a brief explanation for those who don’t know what romance/sex ambivalent is.

Since I’m sex-ambivalent, I’ll use my personal experiences as an example. Sex-ambivalent is a personal stance on sex. Your feelings toward sex may fluctuate and be unclear. (Everything I say can be applied to romance-ambivalent as well with some obvious tweaking). Your personal stance could range from the feeling of being indifferent to averse, favorable to repulsed, indifferent to repulsed, whatever. Personally, I fall anywhere from feeling like indifferent to repulsed.

How we feel may vary depending on mood or what types of acts are being performed. For some they may be more comfortable when it’s with fictional characters. Or maybe they’re more comfortable with different people. I may be in a in a mood and be rather repulsed by the idea of anything sexual, but when I’m in a better mood it doesn’t bother me as much. There are many other reason why your feelings towards romance/sex may fluctuate, but this is just a general overview.

I may occasionally read erotic fanfiction and enjoy it, but I can’t even stand the thought of actual p*rn. Sometimes I don’t even want to read any kind do fanfiction like that. While I do enjoy certain types of more erotic fanfiction, I only enjoy it when certain types of acts are performed. Usually I just like a passionate make-out that gets a bit heated. Maybe some stuff that gets more suggestive too. But anything that involves actual more intimate parts on top or bottom gets an immediate “Nope” for me and I suddenly get more uncomfortable. I can’t stand the idea of intercourse or read about, but I can be totally okay with other “less intense” sexual acts.

I also want to point being being greyace is not equivalent to being sex ambivalent. I’m a black stripe ace meaning I experience no sexual attraction, but I am also sex-ambivalent. You can be greyace and sex ambivalent, be black stripe and ambivalent, and even be allo and sex-ambivalent! Ambivalent isn’t just a way to describe aros/aces, it can apply to anyone no matter your orientation.

Romance/sex-oscillating is also another slightly different term that describes how feelings towards the concept of romance/sex fluctuate/change over time. The factor for changing feelings when your oscillating is the passage of time v.s the factor for changing when your ambivalent is going to things like mood, whether or not it’s the written word, fiction or non-fiction, the types of acts being performed, etc. It depends on the person what external factors may change their feelings. Some people use both labels, some people, like me, don’t, and that’s okay. I apologize if I didn’t explain oscillating well enough. I do not identify with the label myself or feel that way, so please tell me if I could improve upon anything said.

All of this to say, some people feelings on romance/sex are very complicated and don’t fit super neatly into one single stance or they can fluctuate over time. You may feel differently about different situations than I do, and that’s okay. All us ambivalents aren’t the same after all!