#like I was pissed at Andrew for so much of this book

[kiloxy]

“Omission is the easiest way to lie.” Neil said. “You could have corrected me.”

“Could have, didn’t.” Andrew said. “Figure it out for yourself.”

(The Foxhole Court, p. 28)

^ Neil about to internalize it and tell no one about a certain countdown two books later.

[tangerinecat655]

im sorry but aftgtwt pisses me off so bad.

like?? what tf did thea do to make yall hate her sm??

i swear ppl act like she preyed on kevin or smth when he was literally the one who felt attraction towards her first.

not only that, but they didn't even start a relationship until they were both legal adults. no flirting or anything was stated to have happened between them until kevin was at least 18, like???

[perfecteggpartyland]

i can't stand the fact how foxes are more and I mean much more sympathetic and concerned for Neil for being in the nest for two weeks which I get it he's Neil but have no sympathy for Kevin who literally grow up in there for years. Even Neil he still acts the same and that's one thing I can't really stand. And Kevin's exy obsession gets made fun of when that's his literall self worth measurement. Also he gets told he's an asshole like Andrew but like all the foxes are??? I'm not saying Kevin's has no flaws like he does but his treatment always pisses me of and don't even get me started on the fact that in so many fics and in the books he's called a cowerd when he's anything but. bravery is not only knife swinging or shit talking. He literally told to run away when he find out who Neil was and he knew they would get disqualified without him. He kept his secret told Neil that he would watch him if he drank not to say anything and offered to talk about riko. When he's terrified of him and rightfully so. He gets constantly shut down or just told he's an asshole without his trauma ever being taken into consideration. Or when he gets blamed because of Neil's choices like even if the foxes did find out where Neil was what would they do? Call the police? Or Walk off without a freaking Yakuza on their tails? Like Kevin's treatment by the fandom is just unfair .

[aboutnavi]

One of the things that pisses me off so much about AFTG relationships is whatever the fuck Nora decided to do with Kevin and Thea. For one, let’s start with the big elephant in the room shall we: Kevin was fourteen and Thea was eighteen when they met each other. Kevin was literally a child and Thea was not. When they slept together for the first time Kevin is - presumably - eighteen (Nora only said it was his first year at EAU) and Thea was twenty two/three and it was in front of everyone. We know the Raven’s mindset is fucked up at best but seriously… in front of the entire team? They never talked about themselves in a normal-relationship way when they were at Evermore. According to Nora, “Thea’s last words to Kevin–until she showed up at Fox Tower in TKM–were to get some more practice in with the girls so he’d be ready for her when he graduated.” Be for real… this isn’t normal. But let’s pretend we can put all of this under the “they are Ravens and Ravens knows no boundaries and never had any normal human interaction in their lives” belt.

Let’s do a time skip. Riko breaks Kevin’s hand and Kevin leaves EAU. He spends a year at PSU not playing and not once he reached Thea. Understandable because he was still afraid. Then he starts playing again, still doesn’t reach her. She found out about all of this - broken hand, leaving the Ravens, playing again - through the media. Then, she shows up at PSU out of nowhere and almost doesn’t give a chance for Kevin to explain himself. Except Kevin explain - at best he can, considering he couldn’t put her in danger at the moment - but still she saw how Jean was and she knew what Riko was capable off, right? WRONG. Because Nora goes on to say the worst thing possible about their future:

Be fucking for real. You telling me you saw your teammate an inch from death, saw that the supposed love of your life had his career almost destroyed - and Thea and Kevin got married, so she is aware of the amount of trauma Kevin carry from being raised with Riko at EAU - and still the hate edges off because “after all, Kevin’s playing again, so no harm no foul, right?” ???? Are we seeing this? As a fandom, are we collectively seeing this?

“But Kevin needs someone who can keep up with him and with his obsession with Exy”. Ok, but I’m pretty sure there are other women besides Thea playing Exy that would be able to keep up with Kevin and still have an ounce of sensitivity in their bodies.

Now my only logical explanation to this, which is where I always go back to is that Thea and Kevin weren’t supposed to happen if Nora had planned AFTG like a normal writer should. We know she wrote a thousand versions of AFTG - even versions where Kevin dies or where Kevin/Andrew/Neil were together - before publishing as a book and we know she had so many versions inside her head she made the books a fucking mess but there is no way someone didn’t warned her about this absolutely fuckery of a relationship. I can’t believe we as a fandom bought into this and still reinforce it as a hc.

Also, do we really think Thea helped Kevin navigate his trauma after TKM? During their lives? This is so incredibly unfair because Kevin deserved someone who could help him heal himself and understand life outside of Exy but no, Nora really had to give us/him this mess.

I needed to vent a little, anyway…

[cosmiccowboystuddies]

the sunshine court notes

first things first riko needed to be brutally beaten to death, a shot was too quick

renee talked like a fortune cookie and it was pissing me off

i wish we got more of Wymack and Jean, it was very nice of him to get on the plane with Jean

jean immediately getting annoyed with basic life is really funny

jean is also really sassy and hilarious

also something weird happened in jeremeys house

my personally theory is that he had a sibling who died and his family thinks its his fault

like maybe an accident or maybe the sibling overheard something that they weren't supposed to and his sibling had to die as a result

whatever happened the butler knows about it and is trying to protect him

and whatever happened had to be bad because the act of dying his hair had his family ban him from the dinner table

neil believing his relationship with andrew as a strength his really good for his character, considering his mom was so keen on him not forming any connections

the fact that jean actually considered reaching out to his sister, only for him to learn that she was dead breaks me every time

and neil using her to force him into a belief that he doesn't deserve to belong to anyone but himself was a necessary cruelty.

i also like that Jeremey was the one who telling him about Rikos death was good

jean has no agency in the entire 1st act of the book, he is taken from the nest and basically held captive, then he is forced to go to the sunshine court, which he doesn't like but has to

the foxes all hide info from jean for his own good

and jeremey being the one to tell him is nice because jeremey is his first taste of freedom

jean talking about his abuse in such a casual manner is horrifying bc he thinks its so normal and its horrifying

" i didn't ask" broke me in so many ways because Jean doesn't particularly trust jeremey at the time, nor did it slip out while he was angry, he just said it so casually like it was normal

At first i felt bad for Lucas, but not so much anymore.

he was a sympathetic character who was trying to straddle a thin line of having faith in his captain and who he belives is a violent stranger and his brother who is not the same boy he know

but bringing Greyson to jean was soo fucking stupid it pisses me off

and the fact that jean wasn't even really fighting back, just trying to protect himself is upsetting

also the imagery of him punching the keypad over and over again just trying to get out is gutting

jean isn't a dog who bites, he's a dog who puts his foot to the fire because he believes that he is supposed to do

the water scene was sad as well because he was trying so hard to behave but physically could not

also Jeremey and really most people on the team meet his violence with unflinching kindness is really sweet

i also appreciate how jeremey doesn't force jean to talk about his trauma or even takes the notes from him, jean has had little to no control in his life since he was 15 and forcing him to talk about it when he wasn't ready would have made it worse

and jean asking jeremey to pretend was sweet and what was even sweeter when he did

jean learning to cook is nice as well because he needs life skills

theory for book 2: jeremey buys jean his freedom and jean becomes an exy coach ( more of a pipe dream i guess)

i also think Greyson will kill lucas

jeremeys saving grace being the thought of his sister deserving better is horrifying

i wish we got more of his relationship with Zane

neil is a real one because Jean compared Greyson to drake once, and Neil took care of it for him

jean being afraid of sleeping alone is so sad because he's basically been trained to sleep next to someone

and the fact that he has nighmares, but they are hardly mentioned, and jeremey is the one to bring it up is so sad

also kevin should have tried harder to reach out to jean

jean pushed away the foxes because he knew they would eventually leave him too

jean being steadfast in the idea that if he plays a good game he will have momentary peace is heartbreaking

jean holding onto his talent despite people thinking he slept his way to the top is also upsetting

i hope we get a zane and jean reunion bc i think they truly cared for each other

maybe kevin sends jean a postcard and a magnet and they can reconnect

also him realizing his very limited possesions have been destroyed made me almost cry

and the magnet scene with jeremey is very sad, but him realizing the magnets are broken make him realize that he is

kevin and jean still both being afraid of riko is telling bc riko is dead

let me know what yall thought... always willing to talk about all for the game.

[nanatsuyu]

I feel like it’s not talked about enough that early in the books Kevin is the only person we see Andrew initiating any type of physical closeness/touch with at all … also thinking about how they’re described physically with each other in Son of Nefes like. so much tenderness (@ your tags about how Andrew carries himself around Kevin and Neil)

I definitely think their closeness in the beginning gets overshadowed a lot by how close Andrew and Neil get later in the series. And that's not a diss on andreil! I think it's important to Andrew's character to see that while Neil played a very large part in letting Andrew explore his boundaries and grow comfortable with physical affections, there were others that helped in that healing along the way too.

One of my favourite scenes is the one where Kevin takes his glove off for Andrew to inspect his hand for any damages. It's written in such a way that implies they weren't paying any attention to the rest of the world around them. Matt had been carded, the play was over and a fight had broken out, and during that sliver of time, either Andrew had hailed Kevin over or he'd gone of his own volition to the goal for Andrew to give his injuries a one over. Kevin knew he was going to get swapped out, and they both turned somewhat surprised when Dan called out to Kevin, as if the game being in play was an afterthought. (Which, considering it's Kevin, seems somewhat ooc since he always knows what's going on on court).

And, although we don't have the exact words regarding Andrew's deal with Kevin, it was implied in the most basic terms that Andrew would protect Kevin from Riko. (There's obviously nuance here given Andrew's bodyguard tendencies when Kevin gets into later spats with people, but for the sake of how vague most of Andrew's deals are spoken aloud, I think it's safe to assume he promised to protect Kevin from his big bad not sibling in the same way he promised to have Neil's back). All that just to say... It wasn't really in their deal for Andrew to protect or look after Kevin outside of his affiliations with the Ravens. And yet, even after threatening to break his own hand before all this, because Kevin annoyed the piss out of him so much, here he was, inspecting Kevin's hand and putting the game on hold to do so.

This injury has nothing to do with Riko or the Ravens. So, in terms of their deal, he didn't really need to dote on Kevin like that. And yet.

And yet.

And this is really only one instance of them being glued at the hip. Andrew does a lot of redirecting of Kevin's person in the same way we see him do later with Neil. Like you said as well, Kevin's the only one for some pages that we see Andrew physical with that isn't necessarily reactionary or defensive. I know Andrew was still on his meds at the time, but this line came across to me as him literally shoving Andrew down court who didn't seem to take much issue with the it:

He doesn't make much mention of it, but if I had to wager a guess, these moments of familiar contact are not a new thing upon Neil's arrival.

(Also it's been a hot minute since I skimmed through son nefes (the ec and I are on cherry picking terms most days) but I know Renee saw it too.)

Like it makes me insane to think about how their deal didn't have to incorporate all that closeness. It didn't require Andrew to become intertwined with the rest of Kevin's life and daily going on's. He could have agreed to keep him on a leash from getting dragged out of the fox den by the Ravens and called it a day, but we can see clear as day that Andrew treats his relationship with Kevin far more delicately than that. In terms of canon, the best friend (platonic soul bond or whatever title floats your fancy) behaviour jumped out of Andrew so fast, I'm shocked how anyone could overlook it.

And I haven't even touched on how Wymack views their relationship, or Kathy's show, or the role Andrew plays as Kevin's other half post Evermore, or the first genuine smiles are the ones they give each other, or the pseudo threat of the butter knife scene, or whatever they had going on here:

Like, there are certainly motions that can be considered varying levels of tender, but I do think it's important to remember that Andrew's gestures should not be measured with the same scale as say someone like Renee. We can obviously see in later chapters that Andrew can be incredibly gentle (ie the hip kiss that ruined my life), but I think it's a disservice to Andrew's character to understate how close he and Kevin are through the series, both physically and emotionally.

[stabbyfoxandrew]

arsonist neil for wip wed please? i love reading these snippets so much!

WIP Wednesday (4/24)  Arsonist Neil / Firefighter Andrew AU (Part 154)

The call lasts for two and a half hours. Andrew has never willingly spoken to someone this long in his entire life. Even when he was higher than a kite back in college. It’s incredible how much you can tell a man you barely know. Andrew reveals that he used to play exy himself, which led to him meeting Kevin. He also tells 10 about Nicky, the TV show he’s been watching, the book he hated himself for finishing, and that he doesn’t like sour cream. 

(That came up because apparently 10 had tacos the other day.)

But regardless of topics, which Andrew thought they would have run out of, his throat is aching by the time 10 finally says, “This has been nice.”

“Yeah.” Andrew agrees even though he’s had to piss for at least forty-five minutes and he’s currently starving to death. “It has.”

“I haven’t had breakfast. Have you?” 10 asks as if on cue.

“No.” Andrew's mind races through the food in his apartment and he has to bite his tongue to keep from inviting this man over for brunch.

“I missed the hotel’s breakfast cut off, by a lot.” 10 sighs. “I guess that means I’ll have to go somewhere to get something.”

“I highly recommend Waffle House.” Andrew says. “The food is mediocre but there’s almost always a fight going on in the parking lot. A little entertainment for you.”

10 laughs. “Thanks, but I think I’ll stick to what I know.”

“Which is…?” Andrew asks.

“Trying to figure out where I’ll be?”

“Caught me.”

“Stalker.” 10 laughs. Then, “Andrew, can we talk again later?”

“Yeah. Bye, 10.”

[fancifulpurposelesslovely]

hello!! I have newly joined the summer sons fandom and if you are in the mood to do some character extrapolation, I’m so curious to know how/if you see Sam and Andrew’s ~dynamic~ progressing post-canon? I read your exchange about the canonical power dynamics between them with another user and I found both of your viewpoints fascinating and insightful so like if it would be fun for you I’d love to hear more! Do you think they ever explicitly acknowledge it between each other? Who do you think brings it up if so? I feel like Andrew would have some complicated shame-adjacent feelings to work through based on what he internalized from Eddie as “appropriate masculinity” if anyone like made him explicitly acknowledge how much he gets out of and enjoys casual submission, but I can’t get a handle on how Sam would think about it? I also feel like Andrew would rather die than bring it up at least in terms of where he is at with his communication skills immediately post-canon. Idk! If it would be interesting for you to think it talk about I would love to hear your thoughts!!

Pretty much one of my favorite topics in general, anon! Just wanted to wait until I had time to sit down at a real keyboard for this.

So I've definitely tried to think about how their relationship and any dynamic might evolve post-canon, and I've got a very quick post on the subject:

And this is largely still my main opinion. I think they're very intelligent and wild and very specifically sheltered in a way that Riley had to break out of for his own sanity a lot earlier than Sam or Andrew did. So Riley would either buy a couple of books online or get some from a library or something, leave them in a bag on Andrew's bed with a note, and hope they never had to speak about Andrew's relationship with Riley's cousin ever again. He might also beg Ethan to jump in and be another source of information on the gays and the intricacies of kink stuff. Not because Ethan is necessarily an expert or involved himself, I think he would just find it interesting and wouldn't have the personal squick about Sam.

(For the record, I think Riley would grab The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy and Paradigms of Power and Negotiating Your Power Dynamic Relationship by Raven Kaldera to start. Or at least, those authors are where I tend to start.)

I do think the almost breaking each other and the general fucking up will be an important part of it all because these boys are not naturally drawn to lengthy verbal communication about their wants, desires, and issues. A lot of it would be done by feel, by vibe, by following body language. Assumptions, wrestling that starts playful and gets to be more, setting up mutual unspoken expectations for each other, then getting pissed/hurt when the other person didn't live up to them 100% of the time because they didn't really know they were supposed to. Sam being slightly too critical of Andrew on a day where Sam is tired and overwhelmed and Andrew is a little fragile, not realizing Andrew would hold onto that for days because Sam "didn't think his opinion mattered that much." (no no that's not personal experience talking, ofc not). Andrew getting in the habit of grabbing Sam refills or new drinks or being the runner for different party chores, then one night just not having the energy or not feeling appreciated and just refusing to do it. Sam and Andrew both not understanding why Sam got so annoyed about it and why their relationship cools down for a couple of days. Little shit like this that's fairly visible from the outside if either of them has a tendency to bitch about it or if you share a living room with them on a regular basis.

I think they do eventually talk about it (this might not be in character for canon and I may have just decided because I want them to, but I'm sticking with it.) I think Andrew would probably read a couple of chapters of the books Riley gave him, panic about it, ignore them for weeks, try again, repeat cycle. I agree that he would have a lot of hang-ups around masculinity and being "like that", but I also think he'd recognize himself and recognize parts of his relationship with Eddie. He'd eventually see that what he and Eddie had been together had been really unhealthy, and maybe it could have been something better and stronger and real, if either of them had ever figured out how to talk about it.

Eventually though, stuff would resonate enough that he'd feel the need to talk to Sam, or he'd be weird about stuff for weeks and Sam would tell him to spill or get over it. So Andrew would bring the books over and try to talk about what Riley had pointed out or what parts of the books were speaking to him, and they'd alternate Andrew being stubborn and recalcitrant and blushy/interested, and Sam would probably laugh it off at first but when that clearly hurt Andrew's feelings, he'd try to hear him out. Sam would chase the blushes and the interest, but he'd probably have complicated feelings about being explicitly asked to lead Andrew in this way. On the one hand I think it would feel like another responsibility that he's being asked to shoulder, but on the other I think he could come to recognize that this is the kind of relationship he wants and that he's wanted to build before without having the words for it. And I think he would recognize what it does for Andrew and what Andrew' submission could mean for him (Sam). Picking up one responsibility in exchange for being able to put down others. Feeling cared for and appreciated even as he cares for Andrew.

I think after talking about it they'd still fuck up sometimes. I think they'd still feel weird about drawn out explicit negotiations and there would be a lot of joking and a little arguing and maybe substances to get through some of those vulnerable conversations. It would take time and patience.

One of my fics gives a pretty explicit example of how I think kink/power would play into their relationship later (be warned, it's entirely a piss kink fic, we blame mark.) Another fic plays a little bit more with the abstract and the subtle undertones.

Did this answer the question? I went all over the place with it. Thanks for giving me reasons to think about it again!!!

[literallyrousseau]

(would take wayy too long to comment thread this, so;)

The entire Rot & Ruin series by Jonathan Maberry: a post apocalyptic zombie series that follows a teenage boy and his buds as they learn the horrid reality of the world they live in (horror/sci-fi)

The Simon Snow trilogy by Rainbow Rowell; orphaned kid goes to magic school bc he's supposedly a chosen one, aka gay mages & vamp/human subplot romance, enemies to lovers (urban fantasy)

The Boneless Mercies by April G. Tucholke; an unfinished series abt a group of female mercenaries in the death trade who travel to kill whoever they are assigned, gone off path to fight a beast in hopes they'll earn enough that they won't have to be mercies anymore. (Fantasy/action)

Midnight Strikes by Zeba Shahnaz; girl stuck in a time loop, whole lotta violence and decent world building, barely there subplot romance (fantasy)

Hell Followed With Us by Andrew J. White; another post apocalyptic, but this time with religious imagery, whole bunch of body horror and a subplot gay romance, trans main character (horror/fantasy)

How to Bite Your Neighbor & Win a Wager by D.N Bryn; a deal between a dude desperately trying to figure out what the hell happened to his mother and a vampire who's starving. Gayness and angst ensue aka the inherent homoeroticism of letting ur vamp bro feed off you (fantasy)

Ethan & Jag Destroy the World by Maz Maddox; monsterfucking w a splash of saving the world that you broke by accidentally binding a demon to u bc you wanted a fake bf to piss off your ex. Gay. So gay. (Fantasy)

Angels Before Man by Rafael Nicolás; a retelling of Lucifer's fall from heaven but make it angsty gay shit. Oh, and a terrifying amount of gore and violence at the end. It actually made me super uneasy, something not many things I've read have done. (Dark fantasy)

Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon; if you really like world building, high fantasy. DRAGONS so many dif pov's and lovable characters. Takes a bit to get into it, then it's addicting (high fantasy)

Boyfriend Material by Alexis Hall; fake dating, good character development, dudes bein gay . Pretty sure there's a second one? Haven't read it yet tho (romance)

These are just a few of my favs, I've got a bunch in my mini library.

I've prolly got more if you're lookin for something different

MY FRIEND I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO REACT

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS MATE

the synopsis and everything⁉️🔥 dude this convinced me to buy a kindle just to read foreign books without paying for the [very expensive] freightage

Aside from the ones with heavy gore and body horror [my bad bro, weak-ass stomach😔], I gotta read them all

Thank you for the recommendations man🫶🏻🫶🏻 fr thank you🫂

And you got a whole mini library⁉️⁉️ Man thats so cool, genuinely

[mostlymaudlin]

what's the worst take you've seen on your favorite characters?

HAHAHAHA this is a funny question 😂 i dont really like to yuck other peoples yum, and that goes for pretty much everything in fandom! so i don't wanna like, call out bad takes, but rather just be vocal abt my own takes?

so, on that note...

i have a lot of thoughts about andrew's mood/connection to his own emotions. one really unhealthy way of dealing with a lack of control over your mood/emotions/general situation is compartmentalization and repression -- for me, that always looked like rationalizing my feelings away until they hurt, but i'd convinced myself that it's stupid that it hurts & so i will not acknowledge the pain/do anything to address it -- im just gonna push on through like nothings wrong.

and like... this works! for a while! sort of! it's dysfunctional as hell and probably damaging to many aspects of your life, but you can survive with this detachment as long as you can maintain your web of lies.

with andrew, you can see that he maintains a very rigid view of the world: he does not CARE about anything, he does not WANT anything, he will make deals and he will do exactly what it takes to uphold his end, and he will expect that of others. in the books, esp in TKM, we see that as long as he can operate under these assumptions, he can maintain that famous apathy. but whenever this worldview is challenged, he flips out (example: that scene where aaron accuses andrew of killing tilda for his own benefit, and he gets PISSED and says he did exactly what he said he'd do and "fuck you" if you thought otherwise.) he also tends to lose his apathetic facade around neil, because neil inherently challenges his perception of his own caring/wanting, and it's especially bad when neil does or says stuff that like rly makes andrew's heart squeeze hehe.

i believe andrew is really good at repression. but the thing about repression is that it takes constant, difficult work to filter all sensory input through your internal logic, so your mind is constantly racing as you rationalize everything down into a place where you don't have to acknowledge how you feel it. so if we're talking about how andrew thinks, i'd say that he's incredibly self-aware and a big thinker, because he's doing a lot of internal work to maintain apathy.

and also, from personal experience, it's extremely difficult to cope when you can't lie to yourself anymore. if you believe that you're worthless and undeserving of feeling your pain, and someone comes along, makes you trust them, and then is willing to die to prove how wrong you are -- how are you supposed to rationalize that away? and how are you supposed to shoulder all of those emotions when you don't know how to process them? that's so scary, and so hard, and something that takes a lot of time and support.

all of this is to say: i view andrew as a character that is clinging desperately to a thin mask of apathy, and i don't think he can hold on for much longer. i think he feels soooo many things and is constantly at war with himself over it, because he does not have any tools to cope. so FOR ME, i have trouble reconciling this with interpretations of andrew that show him as someone actually feeling apathetic. but, like, to each their own!!

[bookshelf-dust]

imsosorry i'm about to request again (just tell me to stop if they get too much)

could you write a fic with Gareth where reader is usually very talkative and cheerful but someone shouted at them about it being annoying, and now they keep sentences to a minimum, so Gareth tries to find out what happened? and maybe gets angry at the person for shouting at them? this time I may have done it a little bit too precise, sorry

(again, sorry for requesting so much, it's just that you write them so !!! undescribable. beautiful. gorgeous. CHEFS KISS. and you're so FAST AT WRITING THEM?? amazing)

going quiet.

gareth emerson x gn!reader

word count: 1,610

warnings: swearing, bullying, andy, gareth gets angry, fluff/comfort

a/n: hii!!! do not apologize for requesting! it makes me feel loved and i’m so so happy that you like the way i write him and that you trust me with your ideas! and your idea is indeed perfect. seriously don’t apologize. i love it when you request things and i appreciate it. also it’s easy to write these when you’re so sweet. and i hope this doesn’t suck. <333 (also i will use any chance i can get to bully jason’s goons).

————

“Well, I like The Breakfast Club a lot, actually. I just hate the ending because of Allison’s makeover. It pisses me off that Andrew didn’t have eyes for her until she looked like every other girl in sch—”

“It seems that everything pisses you off, huh?”

You’d been talking to Nancy, but that wasn’t who was speaking to you now.

You turned your head, fingers gripping the edge of your open locker door. Andy was looking at you, hands in the pockets of his varsity jacket, a sick smile on his face.

“I’m sorry?”

“You’re just really fucking annoying.”

Andy’s voice made your stomach drop. You’d been just fine, talking to Nancy, some mindless conversation about movies because she’d had a similar talk with Robin over the weekend—who shared your opinions on Allison and Andrew.

But now it was like someone had opened a window when it was much too cold to do so, a rush of cool air sending a chill down your spine.

Andy seemed to have a way of doing that.

“You know, my locker is just down there,” he pointed, “and everyday I hear you blabbing about whatever shit you seem to think is important. Frankly, I’m just sick of hearing your voice. The world would benefit from you shutting the fuck up, I think.”

Your hands were shaking now. “What the hell, Andy? Why are you being such an asshole?” Nancy raised her voice, trying to confront the boy, but he just tossed his head back in glee, and walked off.

You always told yourself that you could stand up for yourself in a situation like this. You could do it easily anytime someone said something to Gareth or one of the kids, but his comment had come out of nowhere, and you’d been too shocked to fight back.

It had been the way he said it really, the way he looked at you. Like you were a nuisance, and it hurt your feelings.

He’d targeted one of the main things you were comfortable with—talking to people you cared for about things you loved. You’d been around people who let you be yourself for some time, so being told that your passion and cheerfulness was annoying was the worst thing he could’ve chosen to pick on.

Deep down, and in every vein, it hurt.

“You okay, Y/N? Really you can’t listen—”

You raised your hand, cutting her off. “I’m fine, Nance.”

And then you were off, hoping that the way you could feel your eyes glazing over wasn’t obvious to any onlookers.

Nancy didn’t see you again until lunch, but she was sat with Robin and some of the school newspaper kids, you with the Hellfire Club. She tried to see if you were okay just by looking at you, hoping that you hadn’t let Andy’s comment hurt you, but the bounce of your leg under the table told her otherwise.

“Did you finish your book last night?” Eddie was looking at you, shoveling pretzels in his mouth, eyebrows raised while waiting for your response.

You felt Gareth bump your leg with his knee, knowing you would be excited to talk about your book if you had indeed finished it. Yesterday you’d been very close, with only a couple chapters left.

“Yeah,” you said, finishing the rest of your drink and trying to avoid eye contact with Eddie, which he had did not like.

“How was it?” He inquired.

“Fine.”

“That’s it? We don’t get to hear about the ending? The grand reveal?” Eddie wiped his mouth on the back of his hand, sitting up at your vagueness.

“Nothing to tell. It was fine.”

“Are you alright, Y/N?” Gareth grabbed your hand under the table, and you fought the urge to pull away from him.

“I’m—”

“If you say fine, I’m going to scream,” Eddie declared.

“I’m okay,” you finished instead, looking back and forth between them both.

Eddie rolled his eyes, though he wouldn’t argue because you had come up with another response.

Gareth looked over your face like he was searching for something. “Gareth, please.”

He knew that tone. It either meant, I’m fine—really—or it meant I don’t want to do this right now. Either way, he dropped it.

In class that afternoon you worked silently beside him, even though you were supposed to be working with him on a project. When he asked you questions you gave one worded responses or simply nodded or shook your head.

That night he called you after dinner like he always did. For a minute he was worried you wouldn’t even pick up, the phone having rung for so long, but you did.

“Hello?”

“Hey, sweetheart. You okay?”

“Fine, Gareth.”

You could hear him sigh loudly on his end, even though it was clear he’d pulled away to try and not make it so obvious that he was concerned and a little stressed out about your behavior.

“The twins want you to come for dinner this weekend.”

“That’s nice.”

“Is that okay? Not too busy?”

“That’s okay.”

The entire conversation you were soft spoken. It was practically killing the boy. You were never this quiet, in tone of voice or in the amount you had to say. You always liked to talk about everything and nothing with Gareth and with Eddie, or Dustin or Lucas.

You were an excited person. You liked to geek out about something or listen to someone else do the same.

And you weren’t doing that.

Something was wrong. Gareth was sure of it. He just had to figure out what.

————

“Did something happen? Something that I don’t know about?”

Gareth tracked down Nancy the next day, even if that meant he was now standing awkwardly in the corner of the school paper’s preparation room.

He crossed his arms, feeling increasingly nervous.

“They’re not talking are they?”

“No. Nancy, come on. What the hell happened?”

She exhaled. “Andy made an appearance yesterday morning. Decided he’d be a prick and told them they were,” she lifted her hands to use air quotes, “‘Really fucking annoying.’ Then he went on about how they never shut up and that the world would in fact benefit from them doing so.”

Gareth ran a hand down his face.

“I told them not to let it affect them,” Nancy continued, “but I think this one was a little too close to home, you know?”

Gareth nodded, suddenly feeling very angry.

“Yeah. Yeah, I know. I’ll figure this out. Thanks, Wheeler.”

————

Luckily for Gareth, he ran—literally—into Andy right after his chat with Nancy. It was lunch, which is why he’d come looking for answers because you were nowhere to be found.

“Watch it, freak.”

“Why don’t you, asshat?”

“Excuse me?” Andy turned on the other boy, brow furrowing, chest puffing out like he was trying to show off.

Gareth was fired up. He never fought. At least he hadn’t since middle school.

He had sisters to be a good example for, and he really didn’t want to be trouble for them—or his mom. He also really didn’t like split knuckles.

But right now, he was astronomically pissed.

Gareth grabbed hold of Andy’s collar, yanking him close.

“Why’ve you got to be such a fucking asshole all the time huh? Because let me tell you, nobody needs to hear your opinions or your bullshit outlook on the world.”

“What the hell is your problem, man?” Andy’s voice cracked, as he was clearly not expecting Gareth to have confronted him like this. Not when the latter usually just flipped the former off and moved on.

But this was about you this time. Your feelings had gotten hurt. And Gareth couldn’t protect himself from these things, but he could protect you.

“You’re an asshole, that’s my problem.”

Gareth let Andy go, shoving him back much more gently than he’d been holding the boy.

Little did he know, you were propped up against the wall across the way, watching this little interaction from afar.

“Jesus man, shit,” Andy said, rubbing at his collarbones.

“Just fucking stop this shit, yeah? I don’t care about whatever dumbass reason you’ve got for taking your feelings out on people, but just leave my friends out of it.”

Gareth shook his hands out, and the gesture seemed to frighten Andy, who hadn’t realized he was that strong before this moment.

“Yeah, whatever man.”

And then he was gone.

Gareth ran his hands down his face, and you took that as your queue to approach him. You reached up, carefully grabbing his wrists and wrapping your fingers around them.

Gareth jumped. “Damn! You scared the shit out of me.”

“I’m sorry.” You planted a kiss on his cheek, and he went bright red.

“I take it you figured it out?” His brow furrowed at your question. “I was watching,” you clarified.

“Oh. Oh. Shit, I’m sorry.”

“Gareth, you don’t have to apologize. I appreciate you sticking up for me. I should’ve done it myself, and come to you, but he just—”

“He hurt your feelings?” You nodded. “I know. Sometimes certain things just hit wrong, yeah?”

“Yeah.” He grabbed your face in both hands and kissed the top of your head.

“Hopefully he fucks off. But either way, I want you to know that I love hearing you talk. I love it when you get excited and you get loud and you share all the little things that make you feel that way, okay? I don’t want you to change or shut down because of someone. Especially Andy.”

That got a laugh out of you, and Gareth thought that sound could’ve cured everything wrong with the world.

————

please let me know if you liked this! feedback is always appreciated!! comments and reblogs mean more than you know. <33

[writtenicarus]

tw - mentions of abuse, drugs and genuinely any aaron-related trauma themes

ah yes, welcome back to part two of me ranting about the forgotten trauma of our favourite underrated aftg characters who the fandom absolutely shits on, this time, aaron. oh boy. before i begin, anybody seeing this who hates aaron and just will definitely die if they don't urgently disagree with me in the comments, your hates just gonna be deleted but thanks for boosting my post. anyways.

okay so let's start with the first claim that is always so hastily thrown around. "but aaron is homophobic!" okay, so, considering the fact you apparently all ignore seth's actions, when does aaron ever say the f slur? of course he expresses disgust when his cousin makes sexual comments to another guy around him. they're literally related, we all would. neil's gender was not relevant at all.

in fact, when, in actuality has aaron ever canonically spoken about gay people as a collective? because..reading yknow the LITERAL BOOKS he does not.

another thing aaron haters wanna jump on is "he is a dick!" and then..love andrew? now i love both my twinyards here but who are you to call aaron a dick and then get on ur knees for andrew who drugged neil without his consent. this isn't andrew slander, but you guys have really iffy standards. like boohoo you don't like him? HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU LMAO? you think he would care??

now let's get into his trauma and how much that is overlooked. i think people can understandably connect with andrew more and get pissed when aaron has his issues with him and neil but let's remember that aaron walked in on his brother being assaulted by another man. he is obviously going to be an asshole to any man who wants any form of non-platonic interactions with his brother out of worry for the foreseeable future.

what we usually forget is that aaron was raised on drugs and violence and abuse. his mother abused him, beat him and tormented him his entire life. of course his first response to everything is hostility.

another thing is his attitude towards tilda: it is literally 1000% normal to love your abuser idk why that is even a fucking question but yes you can

overall i just think he is treated so unfairly.

he isn't an asshole, he is a brother and a friend and a cousin and he's trying his best.

we need to appreciate him more man.

also "andrew is hotter tho" THEY'RE IDENTICAL

[jeork]

TC Tag Game

As always I’m excessively late to the party, but thanks @renaultphile for the tag!

1. "He would not fucking say that" only they did and it's canon. When/who?

I don’t have a copy of the book at hand right now, but while Laurie is visiting home for the wedding he goes on a walk and recites this weird incest-y song to himself, then contemplates how it always felt relatable to him. I’m not saying he would not fucking say that, because obviously he does and I hear him quite clearly. But I am saying maybe he should not have fucking said that. 

Also Ralph calling Bunny “Boo”. I don’t care how drunk he was, you don’t randomly slip out with a word you wouldn’t otherwise use. It’s part of his vocabulary. This one had me in contemplation for months, like, would he ever call Laurie that? Does this count towards the bad habits and lifestyle choices he wants to abandon while being with Laurie? Whole scene’s just embarrassing af 

2. Did they kiss in the study? Yes/no + why you are 100% correct about this.

I think they probably did, but that it was very chaste. I’m convinced the kiss between Laurie and Andrew is supposed to mirror it almost exactly. The way I see it, Laurie didn’t fully process it and therefore just stood there. From the flashback he got later on while holding onto Ralph’s sleeve while they’re in Ralph's room I think Laurie might’ve grabbed onto Ralph’s arm a little. But other than that I don’t think he did much, which made Ralph decide he wasn’t ready yet.

3. Mandatory question about Ralph's alleged tattoos.

I wasn’t aware this is something people discuss lmao, I’ve only thought about it once myself. Gonna be a party pooper and say he has none, as it's "improper"

4. 53 vs 59 edition: quote a line or paragraph that is better in the edition you like the least.

I feel like me and @renaultphile are the only ‘59 truthers. I think I once even wrote an entire post just on why I like that Mary cut the knee-touch?

Again, don’t have any book copies at hand right now, but I remember one small detail in the ‘53 I really loved. During Alec’s birthday party while he’s blowing out the candles everyone is looking at him, and for a moment there’s this shared feeling of hopefulness. In the ‘53 Laurie feels someone’s eyes on him, but by the time he turns around Ralph has already stopped looking. Something about Ralph glancing at Laurie in this moment, who’s presence represents so much to Ralph, makes me ache. 

5. Which TC character would feel right at home here on tumblr dot com?

I guess the obvious answers would be something like Hazell, Sandy or Bunny, but I feel like Andrew would run the most terrifically angsty aesthetic account. Also young Laurie, he'd probably write bad poetry or something

6. Tag yourself at Alec's birthday party.

The two guys holding hands in dead silence, not because I can relate, but because they really set the scene. Or the petty shit-stirrer who snitches on Ralph having a boyfriend. Or the other petty shit-stirrer who cries "Here comes Bim"

7. Post a TC meme.

I used to run a TC meme account over on Twitter. I’ve planned on reposting all of that stuff on here sometime, in the meantime here’s one: 

8. Easy to talk about who deserved better. Who deserved worse?

Dave. The Mature Wholesome Elder act he’s putting on at the end is pissing me off. Self-serving cu- 

Also, following the heavy implications that Alec had been snuggling it up with Bunny for quite a while, I think he got off pretty scot free 

9. You can break the fourth wall (at any point in the novel) and say a single sentence to our protagonist, Laurie Odell. What do you say?

I really wanted him to stay friends with Reg. I always felt like Madge’s Aunt Vera joke was pretty funny and well intended, albeit improper and terribly timed. It didn’t come off to me as her making fun of him for being gay. More like her trying to awkwardly bond over it, similar to Reg during The Bathroom Talk™. If Laurie hadn’t been so emotionally rattled at that time I feel like he would’ve played it off. It was such bad timing for him. So I wanna scream at him “Chill out, they’re clearly not out to get you!” 

10. What's a question you have about TC? One you haven't found an answer for yet.

I think there still might be a couple minor details, but I can’t remember them right now. The only bigger piece of dialogue that’s still a little intransparent to me is Ralph’s whole speech at the beginning of their post-wedding trip argument. I have my theories about it, but would also enjoy to hear more. 

Considering I’m over a month late and have no clue who did this tag already I’ll open it up to whoever might still wanna do it. 

[that-darn-clown]

so, i now have a third Fnaf related thing. until i come up with a proper name for it, i like to call it "This Is The Closest Y'all Are Gonna Get To Me Doing Canon Fnaf"

this is mostly the result of me seeing some Fnaf designs and concepts and realizing "oh i can just. do what i want. with canon at this point."

so have some fun facts!

half because i think it's a cool concept, half because i want to make the designs different between this au and the Rewrite, Mike and Cassidy are both biracial. why is Liz the only completely white kid in the Afton family? well...we'll get there in a bit.

y'know Andrew from the books? Vengeful Spirit of the books? yeah he's here. he was one of Mike's friends prior to Getting Murdered. also close to Cassidy, but y'know.

i'm making Charlie more transmasc. specifically, she figured it out pre-Murder, but didn't get to explore gender stuff as much as he wanted :/ (still transmasc bigender, though. just more transmasc)

MCI kids are a bit different. Fritz is still here, though!

it's basically like a fusion of some of my own ideas and Dual Process Theory's timeline (Mike is (one of) the Vengeful Spirit(s), Cassidy is CC + got springlocked, stuff like that).

Cassidy, mayhaps, witnessed Andrew's murder. maybe. and Mayhaps William did some gaslighting. maybe.

Cassidy knew all of the MCI kids, especially Andrew.

Michael Definitely Took Charlie's Death And Andrew's "Disappearance" Very Well And Didn't Start Lashing Out By Bullying His Brother. Definitely Not.

the other Fnaf 4 bullies were some other kids who were "in the wrong crowd," as some might say.

Liz Gets To Live Because I Said So.

so...Willry happens in this universe. William had a Technically Affair ("technically" because Claire didn't care. if her husband wants to [REDACTED] his business partner, that's none of her business. she just wants to raise her children. similar situation to Anna; she's a lesbian and hadn't figured it out yet so she just went "huh. i'm weirdly more chill with this than i thought i'd be"). one day, William just. shows up with Elizabeth claiming "Oh I found this poor baby abandoned on my way home from work :( Guess I better take her in :(( Please ignore the fact that she's a redhead with freckles like my business partner that's just a coincidence"

then Liz got older...and it was kinda obvious that she inherited some traits from William (Bunny Teeth and the Bunny Ear Hair Things). so now it's a lot harder to just claim that it was a coincidence. the fact that Liz also had Henry's green eyes just made it ten times worse.

William ignored the rumors...and then a woman who worked at the Diner (Tammy Schmidt), who had ginger hair, green eyes, and freckles, claimed that she was the mother of Liz. so...Henry doesn't get outed as transmasc! yippee!

Claire divorced William (in 1981) because she did NOT like him roleplaying Icarus so hard and wasn't going to stick around to watch him inevitably fly too close to the sun. she was going to get her life together before deciding to take the kids (not Liz because. well, Liz isn't her biological daughter. this isn't to say that she doesn't consider Liz as effectively being her own child, but like. y'know. Not Her Kid Biologically Speaking), but uh. she ended up getting into a car accident only a few months later. RIP Claire 😔

William, being the "very reasonable" man he is, got drunk one night (because this man took the divorce Really well (sarcasm)), and because he internally blamed Henry for this mess (like he wasn't the guy who decided an affair was the greatest idea), and murdered Charlie. (which is partially why she's so pissed at him in this au; because he had the gall to take his anger towards Henry out on her. not that she would've liked it any better if he did take it out on Henry, but y'know).

the first four MCI kids (Bea, Fritz Jr., "Gabriel"/Gabi, and Isaac) were a mix of "William's on a minor power trip of sorts," "William unfortunately discovered the fact that he finds murder fun and now everyone's suffering," and "William isn't done hurting Henry. This time he's hurting Henry's business." Andrew's death was due to a minor argument that started between him and William over how Michael was doing that kinda. Escalated. William knocked Andrew out on accident, and then he went "okay guess i'll murder him now." so he springlocked Andrew. and Cassidy kinda witnessed it.

the Fredbear plush was a gift from Charlie and Andrew. Andrew partially possessed the plush to keep an eye on Cass and Mike (and it then led to him witnessing Mike being a dumbass for the next two years).

so...Mike, Andrew, Charlie, and Sammy were all around the same age (12-13) when the Murders happened in '81. so uh. Mike maybe had a crush on Andy that he never got to tell them about. he definitely doesn't have any regrets about that!! no siree!!

by the time Fnaf 2 was going on, Mike was kind of. spiraling. he recognized Jeremy as one of the few people who was nice to him after Things Went To Shit, so they started talking at work, crushes developed...and then almost half a year later, when Jeremy had started healing somewhat, they kinda went "hey we're adults. let's go to Nebraska." and then they did that. Mike had that sort of Mini Crisis that some traumatized young adults have where it's like. he has agency. he can do whatever. so he cut his hair a bit, dyed it bright red, got a tattoo on his chest, all that stuff. didn't call his dad at all during this. sort of started realizing how fucked up his childhood was. also met Tammy again, and she helped the two of them. Mike kinda changed his last name to hers, both because he viewed her as a mother figure and also because he did Not want to risk people finding out who he was.

Phone Guy survives. fuck it. he did kinda get maimed, though. unfortunately.

Mike found out about MCI stuff around the time of Fnaf 1. he was Not happy.

you now get: Charlie fun facts!

decided to give her both "weird girl" and "tomboy, but there's transness there" energy.

style vibes are sort of like. a mix of punk, "this looks like it's vaguely steampunk," and flannels. mostly because that's the kind of clothes he had readily available to him.

feral. extroverted introvert. she's even autistic. does the wildest shit and pulls Mike, Andrew, and Sammy along with him. sometimes even Cassidy (even though Cassidy was like a toddler at this point; three years old).

also just. really fucking petty and sassy. responded to a bully who was being homophobic and transphobic with, what effectively amounted to, the early '80s middle school equivalent of "You wanna kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid. 🙂"

still very protective over people, and a sweetheart. if it isn't obvious, i love this au version of Charlie. my beloved.

one time got some weed from a high schooler and went "hey guys wanna smoke this in the backroom at Freddy's on Friday night?" and then Mike and Andrew went "Fuck Yes." Sammy acted as the guard to the room. Henry and William were busy at Fredbear's, so they left one of the more reliable teen employees in charge for the evening. he walked in on those three smoking weed, was told "please don't tell our dads," shrugged, and just left. didn't say a word to Henry or William about it. Cassidy also walked in on it, but he wasn't going to snitch on them regardless. mostly 'cause he was three and didn't even know what they were doing to begin with. in Charlie's words, "8/10 experience, would do again."

just the most chaotic child imaginable. i've seen enough 80s movies to think that Charlie, a 6th grader, probably would've been believably this chaotic. like. you don't know how many movies where "kid in the age range of middle school to high school discovers weed and then proceeds to smoke some out of curiosity" was like. at least a minor plot point or scene. i also included this because I Can And It's Funny.

this song fits him perfectly. i'll let you listen to it to understand why, but. That's Just Her In This Au.

also, as for who the Vengeful Spirits/Ones William Should Not Have Killed are, here they are from Least Vengeful to Most Vengeful.

Charlie: doesn't hate William; just in UCN to do the ghost equivalent of kicking William in the balls repeatedly before leaving, hopefully with everyone else in tow.

Cassidy: Got Springlocked. also angry on behalf of his friends.

Andrew: also Got Springlocked. just pissed at William in general.

Mike: William killed him in the fire (neither he nor Henry planned for Mike to die this time. he tried to leave, but William didn't let him), William technically got him killed by sending him into the now-abandoned Freddy's, where the spirits (minus Andy, Cass, and Charlie, aka The Spirits Who Would've Recognized Him), confused, basically mauled Michael to death, where he then crawled out onto the streets and died. Charlie found him and brought him back, though. Mike's just pissed in general from where William basically ruined his fucking life. he'll probably be the last soul to leave.

also...if you're curious, i can tell you why the souls would see Mike and think he'd be William, when William would already be dead and springlocked at this point (something that they all witnessed, mind you). :]

Ough... like George I am a curious little monkey. Please tell me more ehehehe

[destinyc1020]

I want more adult petermj not this Disney pg13 nonsense. At least Andrew/emma level intimacy,if not better nothing lol otherwise it's would piss me off

Hahaha yea girl, Andrew and Emma had pretty good sizzling chemistry (well, for a comic book film at least lol) in their Spiderman movie. Disney is VERY "PG", so I'm not expecting much from Peter and MJ in their franchise tbh. I'm surprised they even had that scene where Tom/Peter was shirtless and Z/MJ was with him and it sounded like they were doing "other things" in the bedroom, if you catch my drift lol.... 😏🤭

🤣🤣

[basedkikuenjoyer]

Our sixth book in the series (fourth in written order) The Silver Chair is one of the hardest Narnia books to write about. It's a weird one but most fans I've known like it and I bet it's a fair few people's favorites. This time we're done with the four Pevensie siblings and our holdover is Eustace Scrubb from Dawn Treader. More mature and changed by the voyage here with a classmate Jill. Back to the same vibe as The Magician's Nephew pair with a way better Uncle Andrew stand-in out of our main man this blog will always stan, Puddleglum. I know you lovelies out in Tumblr land love Puddleglum.

Imagine Eeyore playing D&D as a frogman paladin. Pessimistic as hell, though he assures us he's a weird optimist for his Marsh-Wiggle race, but he goes hard. I have never forgotten the sheer emotion that came across when Puddleglum found out he committed the major taboo of eating a talking animal. He also gets the best chance to showcase why I like the fine line CS Lewis walks with Christian elements in the series.

Has to do with the main plot. Underdark this time and now I'm starting to appreciate where my love of fantasy sea, desert, and cave journeys come from. Caspian's son Rilian has been taken by an evil queen brainwashing him. Evil queen does lean into being a figure for atheist arguments but it's important to note that the tone is a very fine line. Imagine making a criticism of Youtube Athiests leaning on specious reasoning to dunk on a prominent Christian. It ties in more with the series setting up Eustace & Jill through a criticism of English schools, Digory in Wardrobe bemoaning how they don't teach logic anymore. And what seals the deal to me is how Puddleglum lays it out in a bit of an author filibuster...making explicit the idea that he thinks the question of whether or not Aslan and the world of Narnia above are actually real isn't important.

The idea of those things matters in its own right, especially if those ideals inspire him to be a better person. The belief that this worldly life is but the first step on a much grander journey, the faith that the world is a more special place than mankind can fully grasp does not need to be true if it gives us the drive to make a better Earth. I can get behind that at least. This is also a man who very much believes in the idea of maintaining whimsy & childlike wonder for much of the same reasons. That's pretty ballsy for Christian philosophy, looking at the clergy I know today I only know one example who'd comfortably say something like that and he's still an asshole that really could do with reading The Last Battle more closely. I'm not a religious person by any stretch, but it absolutely pisses me off to see charlatans looking for a hot take trash a wonderful child-friendly series that teaches critical thinking and examines the nature of belief as mere Christian propaganda.

Other than that you see the writing start to mature. Special shoutout to The Horse and His Boy getting a nod as a famous in-universe tale. Which is awesome for a very 1001 Nights inspired side story. Even more so when it is a foreshadow or callback depending on which order you read the series in. Eustace & Jill are a solid pair. I don't think they have the chemistry Digory & Polly had but weaker character chemistry for CS Lewis is still better than most. Great, great entry in the series that is a fun story for a kid but gives you some real meat if you revisit as an adult.