#like I really really really REALLY do not like criticizing them

[teaboot]

do you think i'll ever get to a place in my life where i'm actually a good person and i don't keep getting bombarded with people telling me all the ways i'm doing things wrong. will i ever stop feeling like i'm faking being good and i'm actually a despicable person deep down inside like there's something rotten and irremovable in the very core of me. i feel sick

As a recovering self-hater I have a few things that have been helping

Truly shitty people are typically, in my experience, not chronically preoccupied with anxieties that they need to be better. It seems to be the 100% rock-solid certainty that everything you ever do is selfless that you need to watch out for.

Motive only matters in court. If you donate 30 hours a week to charity so you can tell yourself you're a good person or you donate that same time because you genuinely enjoy helping people, that's still 30 hours, imo. At that point the argument is more philosophical than anything. The help is still happening.

Nobody can read your mind. You can be the bitterest, cattiest, most judgemental and mean-spirited motherfucker alive, but as long as you don't let your feelings hurt others, you're golden. In fact, I personally think you should get extra credit for effort. Swimming upriver ain't easy

None of us are selfless by nature. That's okay. We all crave attention, and validation, and comfort, and reward. That self-interest is a survival skill. It's not going anywhere and I don't think it should. The key is moderation, self control, and consideration for others.

The loudest voice in your head probably isn't yours. Survivors of all kinds of abuse- and all abuse is psychological to varying extremes- often keep their critic's narrative in their head. That voice that says you're awful- is that something you'd say to someone else? No? Then try to figure out who said it to you. They were probably an asshole. The voice that answers it it probably your own. Listen to that one

No, you will not feel like this forever. It's a pain in the ass, but dedicating time and thought into ignoring that inner critic and elevating your positive impulses is effective.

Some things I've done myself that seem to help:

Do some research on cognitive behavioral therapy and cognitive reprogramming. These are easier to exercise with a therapist but once you figure out the steps to follow you can do them on your own, too.

When you do something good, write it down for yourself. Keep a dated journal, either on paper or in your phone. When you find yourself in a pit of self-loathing, you can go back and remind yourself of all the good you've done. If this is hard, try listing 3 good things you did at the end of each day. Anything from picking up a scrap of litter to running a food drive.

Long post, but really, the best thing I can say is this:

Aything that takes effort is worth celebrating, even if that effort is minimal or that task is considered small.

At the end of the day, "bare minimum" isn't working a full-time job and eating three meals a day, cleaning up after yourself and doing it with a smile- bare minimum is nothing. Bare minimum is laying on the floor motionless for 24 hours and filter-feeding like a sea sponge. And if even that's difficult for you, then it's not your bare minimum, is it?

There's a lot of cruel, inconsiderate, uncaring people in the world, only out for themselves at the expense of others, and even if you think you're one of them, giving a shit about doing better still puts you a mile ahead of most.

Try not to worry too terribly. If you're thinking about it, you're probably doing fine👍

[tackykachowch]

How it feels to not like timebomb after s2

[et6rnalsun]

𓍼 chris can’t tell the difference between fashionkilla! reader’s lippies…

it was one of the first times chris had come to your house. unexpectedly, you had invited him into your private world after months of acting like a mysterious girl — the one you have to work hard for years to get to know deeply. to say he was nervous was an understatement, his palms were sweaty as he lightly rubbed them against his dark jeans that he loved so much. he didn't know how to move, or if he could even walk on your shag rugs without you getting nervous and rolling your beautiful eyes at him.

your black cat, adorable to him ( matt should see her, his mind said ), was almost more welcoming than you. she started to circle his legs, before gingerly resting her cheek against them when he leaned down to stroke the back of her ears with a ridiculously big smile on his face. jokes aside, the kiss you left on his cheek when you approached him was so much better than anything else. he's sure he shivered, and not just from the cold sensation your rings against his skin had caused.

“y’seem so shy” you teased him, chuckling as you watched him look around, almost looking lost. “different from texts, huh?” you added, not missing an opportunity to dig in deeper. and he wanted to die when your words brought him back to things he actually typed and sent to you: 'if i come to your house, you don't know what i'll do to you'

“i’m just trying to be a gentleman” chris rolled his eyes, approaching you from behind as you walked towards what he assumed was your bedroom. his arms were wrapped around your waist to keep you close in that way, his cheek pressed against the top of your head.

the interior of your room seemed to be the dream of every girl that was interested in makeup, even if slightly. your dresser was exploding with all kinds of products, a large bed that he could already tell was a cloud — to try as soon as possible — three wardrobes that he was afraid to see the inside of. plus other things he hadn't really thought about too much.

chris let himself fall back onto your bed not resisting the temptation, arms spread wide as he sank into the impossibly soft mattress. a satisfied groan escaped him as he stretched, the plush comfort confirming everything he had imagined. “yeah,” he muttered, half to himself, “this is what heaven feels like.” his embarrassment had vanished into thin air like a dissolving cloud.

you didn’t respond right away, too busy rummaging through one of the drawers at your dresser even though he wanted you right next to him. he watched you, his lips twitching at the way your brow furrowed in concentration. you moved around your space with a casual ease, but to him, this was a rare glimpse into your world. you then turned towards him, meeting the insistent gaze you felt on you. “what do you think of my kingdom?”

chris propped himself up on his elbows, glancing around the room as if he were an art critic assessing a masterpiece. “kingdom is putting it lightly,” he replied, his voice laced with mock seriousness. “this feels more like just shit i don’t understand at all” you raised an eyebrow at him and his playful words, crossing your arms as you leaned against the dresser and smirked. “oh yeah? like what?”

he gestured toward your dresser, his hand sweeping across the sea of beauty products neatly arranged—or chaotically clustered, depending on perspective. “that. aaalll of that. it looks like sephora exploded in here.“

your laugh was loud and unrestrained, the kind of sound that made his stomach flip in the best way, his heart already felt full from the fact that you were warming up to him so much. “you wouldn’t get it,” you said, shaking your head as you walked over to the bed and plopped down beside him to his delight. at that, he sat up fully, leaning closer with a smirk that was both curious and challenging. “try me,” he said, folding his arms.

you raised a brow, clearly amused by his sudden interest. “alright, genius. let’s see how much you know.” standing up again with a brief chuckle you couldn’t hold back, you strode to your dresser and pulled open a drawer, returning with a handful of lipsticks. holding them out like they were your damn kids or just gold, you asked, “these?.”

he leaned forward, squinting at the assortment in your hands. after a long pause, he shrugged. “lipsticks. brown ones?. all the same.”

your jaw dropped, and you stared at him like he’d just insulted your entire existence. “the same?” you echoed, your voice climbing an octave. “bitch, you can’t be for real”you shook your head, grabbing two from your collection before settling comfortably into his lap, the lipsticks right in his face. “one is in the shade livin’ the cream — don’t comment,” you pointed at it with a manicured finger. “while the other is sprinkle sprinkle. they are so fucking different, chris!”

he had that annoying little smile on his lips, and he just seemed to be focused on your body placed prettily on top of him. “mhm. exactly the same”

you groaned, dropping your head into your hands as he laughed. “chris, i swear to god,” you said, sounding desperate but amused at the same time. “the first one has a cool undertone, and the other is warm. it’s not that hard to understand, it is?”

he was still laughing as he set the lipsticks down on the bed, his shoulders shaking. “alright, alright,” he said, holding up his hands in mock surrender. “you win, baby. they’re totally different. i see it now, okay?”

“good,” you said, though your tone was far from convinced. crossing your arms, you narrowed your eyes at him. “you’d better mean that, or i’m kickin’ your ass out.”

he grinned, leaning forward to wrap his arms around your waist and pull you closer. “oh, c’mon,” he said, his voice softening as his lips brushed against your neck softly. “I’m trying to learn here. maybe i just need a private lesson. y’know, hands-on.”

the sound of your most sincere and sweet laughter filled the room again, and as you playfully swatted at him, chris couldn’t help but think that he could get used to it. and you should too.

[majikkulu]

━━ ❝MASTERLIST❞

in this pick-a-card reading, we’ll dive into what people really have to say about you—whether it’s glowing praise or secret whispers. what’s the tea they spill when you’re not around? remember, this is a general reading — take what resonates and leave the rest.

if  you  have  any  ideas  for  tarot  pacs  you'd  like  me  to  do,  feel  free  to  drop  them  in  my  ask  box,  and  i'll  make  it  happen!

choose the picture or pile that calls to you and let the magic unfold!

PILE ONE i  can  tell  this  pile  feels  personal—what  people  say  about  you  hits  close  to  home.  they  think  you're  indecisive,  struggling  to  take  action  or  follow  through  on  what  you  said  you'd  do.  it  frustrates  them;  they  feel  like  you  can’t  commit  to  certain  things.  some  even  say  you’re  guarded,  mysterious,  hard  to  read.  and  that  only  makes  them  more  curious—what’s  really  beneath  all  of  that?  there’s  also  this  idea  that  you  avoid  confrontation,  preferring  to  stay  neutral.  while  some  see  that  as  wise,  others  view  it  as  passivity,  like  you’re  afraid  to  stand  your  ground.  interestingly,  one  specific  person  seems  to  stand  out  here.  they’re  obsessively  focused  on  you,  constantly  talking  about  you.  they  might  discuss  things  you’ve  been  through—maybe  toxic  relationships,  bad  habits,  or  difficult  patterns.  but  it’s  not  all  criticism.  a  lot  of  people  are  fascinated  by  you.  they  find  you  magnetic,  charming,  even  alluring.  some  are  jealous,  though.  they  notice  your  sensitivity—maybe  they’ve  seen  you  cry  or  assume  you’re  the  type  to  cry  in  public.  they  might  even  think  you  look  younger  than  you  are,  which  makes  them  wonder  about  your  age.  there’s  also  talk  about  your  creativity.  whether  it’s  how  you  dress  or  how  you  express  yourself  artistically,  it  leaves  an  impression.  and  then  there’s  the  assumption  that  you’ve  “got  it  all.”  some  think  you’re  rich  or  incredibly  successful,  even  if  you  don’t  feel  that  way  yourself.  maybe  something  big  happened  recently—an  achievement,  a  win,  or  an  opportunity  that  others  wanted.  it’s  clear  they  see  your  potential,  and  that  potential  is  both  admired  and  envied.  people  question  if  it’s  luck  or  hard  work  that  gets  you  where  you  are.

PILE TWO people  talk  about  how  cautious  you  are,  how  you  take  your  time  with  everything,  and  how  you  question  every  little  detail.  to  them,  it  might  come  off  as  overly  slow  or  even  boring  because  you’re  not  impulsive.  they  see  you  as  someone  who  hesitates  or  spends  too  long  planning  before  acting,  and  some  might  say  you’re  no  fun  because  of  it.  they  notice  how  you  like  to  have  a  plan  for  everything,  but  they  don’t  realize  that  beneath  that  calm  surface  lies  an  inner  beast—a  strength  they  can’t  begin  to  comprehend.  you  handle  things  with  patience  and  emotional  control,  and  people  see  that.  they  talk  about  how  calm  you  remain,  even  in  serious  or  emotional  situations.  it’s  like  nothing  can  shake  you,  and  that  composure  either  impresses  or  frustrates  them.  some  gossip  that  your  strength  borders  on  stubbornness,  but  let’s  be  real—that  envy  stems  from  wishing  they  had  the  kind  of  self-control  you  do.  there’s  competition  swirling  around  you,  even  if  you  don’t  see  it.  people  notice  how  you  deal  with  disagreements  and  conflicts.  you’re  unbothered,  and  that  drives  them  crazy.  they  might  talk  about  how  you’re  not  afraid  to  speak  up,  even  if  it  causes  tension.  they  focus  on  how  you  defend  yourself,  how  you  never  back  down,  even  in  situations  where  others  think  you  should.  they  see  you  as  determined,  standing  firm  in  your  beliefs  and  decisions,  and  that  resilience  makes  some  people  misunderstand  or  even  resent  you.  it’s  funny,  though—they  think  you  provoke  them  with  how  you  respond  or  even  just  with  your  presence.  your  energy  bothers  them,  but  that’s  their  problem,  not  yours.  you  stand  your  ground,  and  that’s  what  really  sets  you  apart.

PILE THREE people  gossip  a  lot  about  your  quiet  nature  and  what’s  going  on  in  your  life  behind  the  scenes.  they’re  curious  about  what  you’re  up  to,  especially  since  you  keep  things  so  private.  it’s  like  your  silence  sparks  endless  speculation.  some  even  find  you  suspicious,  questioning  your  motives,  intentions,  or  honesty—accusing  you  of  being  manipulative  or  using  tricks.  there’s  talk  about  you  avoiding  confrontation  or  shying  away  from  taking  responsibility,  and  for  some,  this  feeds  into  the  narrative  of  you  being  a  liar.  there’s  a  sense  that  you’ve  distanced  yourself  from  people,  maybe  even  withdrawn  completely.  this  makes  others  wonder  what  you’re  searching  for—your  purpose  or  direction  in  life.  your  quietness,  while  intriguing,  can  make  you  hard  to  approach.  some  feel  like  they  can’t  fully  connect  with  you,  as  if  you’re  masking  your  true  self  or  staying  intentionally  detached.  on  the  other  side,  there  are  those  who  admire  you.  they  see  you  as  wise  and  insightful,  someone  who  remains  calm  and  composed  even  under  pressure.  your  guarded  nature  and  emotional  detachment  make  you  magnetic  in  a  way  that  draws  people  in,  even  if  they  don’t  fully  understand  you.  they  gossip  about  how  cautious  and  hesitant  you  are  to  take  bold  risks,  calling  you  predictable.  yet,  they  also  acknowledge  your  ability  to  handle  life’s  ups  and  downs  with  grace  and  poise.  whether  people  envy,  misunderstand,  or  admire  you,  it’s  clear  that  your  energy  leaves  a  lasting  impression.

[llyfrenfys]

Adding on with a personal example of this since I cannot sleep (it is 8am and insomnia has got me bad. I've been up all night).

Last week I went to a local pub with some friends. I got up to use the toilet (important note: I'm a disabled trans man with IBS). The pub I was at legit only has an accessible stall in the ladies' room. And I'm a trans man who passes frequently enough for it to be An Issue if I went to the accessible stall. It was also about 3am, give or take.

So I go to the adjacent men's room and use the toilet stall (even if I wasn't trans, I'd still need the stall anyway for my IBS). Outside, I hear a cis man passing some women queueing for the ladies' room. As mentioned before, the accessible stall and ladies room are frustratingly one and the same. An accessibility nightmare. So there's always queues. The man walks past and tells the women to come into the men's with him instead of waiting and they can give him blowjobs. I couldn't see anyone involved (again, I was in the stall having an IBS moment). But this made me so angry I began to prepare to get up - then stopped because - I'd be putting myself at huge risk by 1. Probably outing myself 2. Even if I didn't end up clocked, I'm not very tall or intimidating, 3. I was actively having a disability moment and couldn't exactly pack it in to get on my high horse.

I felt pathetic and hopeless because I couldn't step in to say something. Expecting marginalised men to put ourselves in harm's way just feels like an extension of the patriarchal idea that men have to be defenders or protectors and if not, we are not performing masculinity sufficiently (and as op put it so well, essentially discredits feminist men in the eyes of men who aren't. As does the act of being a feminist while a man).

When I was outed to my parents for the third time without my consent (c. 2019) my dad (estranged, along with my mum) said to me that "no man will ever accept you" [note: I went on to date a cis man for the next 5 years] in regards to my transness. Even though he is dead wrong - he really meant "no man *like me* will ever accept you". And unfortunately a lot of cis men are like him.

I feel horrified I couldn't step in to say something to that man in the men's room last week. But I am unlikely to have achieved anything and would likely be on the receiving end of violence depending on how the man took criticism.

I wish there was something constructive I could do in moments like those without putting me in harms way. I sadly couldn't approach the women later to check if they were okay because I didn't see their faces. And even if I did - I don't want my presence to be unnerving for them so soon after being harassed by a different man.

If your vision for the deradicalization of right-wing men begins and ends with "other men telling them that that's gross and to stop it" then I'm sorry, you do not understand how masculinity works.

"Men who hold patriarchal status" and "men who are feminists" are two groups who overlap less than you want them to. I'm sorry. That's not solely because men are so happy with patriarchal status that they don't want to risk it by policing misogyny/queerphobia/racism, It's because being misogynistic, queerphobic, and racist, end expressing other forms of toxic masculinity(and often abusively so) are part of how people establish and maintain patriarchal status. The men who have the ability to stop this via nothing but peer pressure are the very people who are doing it. That's by design. And engaging in feminist intervention is, in and of itself, usually the abrupt end of that status and its associated power to persuade misogynistic men.

Like, I have worked in blue collar jobs as a notably queer person. It was pretty much a constant deluge of verbal abuse. In my experience, most blue collar work environments are exploitative, abusive, and bigoted, and very gleefully so. On the occasions I have spoken up about someone saying something that was super fucking out of line (asking me which of the girls walking by was hottest. We were installing a portable classroom at a middle school), believe it or not, they completely failed to be shamed! Because nobody else on the crew gave a fuck. *I* was the weird one. They ghosted me. A full blown company ghosted me. I suddenly didn't have a job anymore because they just straightforwardly stopped telling me where the next job site was.

Like, this doesn't mean that it's your job to do it, but this vision you have of these big groups of men where everyone is on the fence and there is precisely one shit stirrer who can be shut down by a brave feminist man who can single handedly set the example for all these other guys...you are high. You are describing an "everybody clapped" level absurd scenario. Most of these truly virulent misogynistic guys either have zero friends, because, you know, our society is atomized to fuck, or they are in a group where the feminist guy is actually the weirdo who can be shut down and ostracized much, much easier than the misogynists, because there is no such thing as a man misogynists respect who stands up for women.

You might be saying "well, we're talking about longstanding personal relationships, actually. Like, they need to have to want to spend time with you and then, as a side effect, you can mind control them out of being a threat to us."

Problem with that being:

1: Many feminist men also have no friends, see the atomized society above.

2: Feminist men already stopped hanging out with men who make rape jokes because why the fuck would we want to spend time with them.

3: That isn't just because we respect women so hard. We are in many cases talking about men who are also deeply queerphobic, heirarchical, violent and abusive to other men. What initially drew me to feminism and women was a lack of heirarchical squabbling and constant bullying, and the ability to be openly queer. A lot of men who came to feminism did so because they knew that the patriarchy was not a place they would find success or acceptance. These are not the men who are gonna be able to change right wing minds.

4. Men do not view themselves as a monolith. There is no universal brotherhood of men. The actual meaning of the term "Fragile masculinity" is that men are constantly expected to prove that they are deserving of the status of being a member of their own gender. There are large swathes of men--including most of the men who you'd look to as examples of good, feminist men who you want to undertake this project--who are considered failed men, sissies, f****ts, soyboys, ect. They are. Not. Going. To. Convince. These. Men. Of. Jack. Shit. Much less successfully *shame* them. Jesus.

I know all of this sucks. I know it would be cool to be able to just point at a group and have them be responsible for the work. But nah. It's gonna have to be a societal project, one that will probably outlast all of us. Sorry. The thing you want these men to do is, absolutely, the morally correct thing to do. But presuming that it would be effective is, and once again I am so sorry about this, just ignorance of how these social groups function.

[yandere-daydreams]

I have a Yandere idea for you, if you want of course!❤️ How about a yandere who is rejecting his love for the reader or in denial, and as a form of escapism creates a doll identical to the reader, maybe it started small, like him creating beautiful dresses to the reader doll, or sleeping together, eating together, maybe even giving the reader doll a kiss while his shadow critically analyzes the situation... Meanwhile he keeps bothering the reader, or teasing or trying to do all sorts of things, like flirtations that he may have practiced with his doll with the reader, giving sweets that he prepared..

tw - stalking, obsession, and disturbing themes.

wait that's so scaramouche coded actually,,, nonetheless we persist.

it's just such a show of pure, uncensored, incurable desperation. they want you, but they can't have you, so they have to settle for an imitation - cold and lifeless, sure, but as close to the real thing as they can get (well, before they're finished renovating your future bedroom/holding cell, at least). they took good care of little you, too - changing your clothes twice a day, cuddling you at night, kissing your forehead when the real you's done something that makes them want to throw doll you across the room. it's funny, how similar the list of things that can break porcelain is to the list of things that can break bone. it's good practice. they lasting they'd ever want to do is hurt their darling love, no matter which form you might come in.

the doll's good for practicing other things, too. they'd never know how to talk to someone like you in-person, so they practice on the doll, doing their best to stringing along a conversation and trying not to care that the only response they get is a glassy-eyed stare. they'd like to have a little experience under their belt by the time they actually bring you home, so they practice going over the list of rules they've drawn up with little you, walking through your daily schedule, trying miniature versions of the, uh, ""accessories""" they've bought ahead of your arrival to make sure they're all as cute as they imagined. admittedly, sometimes their activities veer into less-than-wholesome territory, but they try to catch themself before they can fall into the subsequent shame-spiral, to remind themself that this is a form of practice, too. they want to be able to take care of you - in every way you might need to be taken care of.

it is really so bad to vent a little frustration out on your temporary replacement, in the meantime?

[theunsinkableship1]

If You Know You Know

I don’t know how many times I’ll have to say this, it must be tiring for some, but I need to reiterate this CLEARLY to be properly understood:

I WILL NEVER SHIP THEM WITH ANYONE ELSE.

This makes absolutely no sense to me. The only reason I’m here is to support Luke and Nicola as a couple. I’ve never done anything like this before, and I won’t do it again after them. Hopefully, if they become an official couple, I’ll step away because my purpose will be fulfilled.

I joined this fandom because I saw something extraordinary between them, something I’ve never witnessed in my entire life. Their connection felt so unique and undeniable. Other relationships, real or supposed, simply don’t matter to me in this context. I initially believed people supported them because they, too, recognized the magic between them. But clearly, that’s not the case for everyone, which is disappointing.

To me, there’s no point in being part of the Lukola fandom if you don’t genuinely support both of them together. To be clear, I deeply admire and respect both actors, and I support their careers wholeheartedly. But that’s not why I’m here. I’m not here to support two talented actors, I’m here for their LOVE, for that incredible bond they share.

I’ve seen many relationships in my life, but nothing like this. Their dynamic is something rare, something worth rooting for.

To be a true shipper is to stand firm in your belief, to celebrate the connection you see and cherish without hiding behind the guise of "realism" or "pragmatism" to spread negativity. If you don’t believe in the ship, that’s fine, but then, why stay? Why participate only to criticize those who do have faith?

Truly shipping them isn’t about constant doubt or spreading cynicism; it’s about what you see and feel between the two people you root for. For those of us who support Lukola, our belief stems from the extraordinary connection we’ve witnessed between Luke and Nicola. It’s something that doesn’t come along every day.

It’s not about shipping every supposed relationship they might have, that approach dilutes the magic of what we see in them. Even if they confirm that they are indeed in those relationships, will I support those ones? Not really because I’ve seen many of those; if they love it, I like it .Their lives, their choices. Not every relationship needs to be shipped, and that’s okay. If Lukola isn’t your ship, then jump ship. No one is asking you to believe, but also, don’t bring your doubt and negativity into a space meant for those who trust and support this connection.

This space is for believers, for those who see and celebrate something extraordinary. If you can’t see it or choose not to, that’s fine, but don’t pollute the energy of those who do. We’re here for Luke and Nicola together, and our faith in them doesn’t need validation from those who don’t share it. Let us enjoy this space as it’s meant to be a celebration of love, connection, and the beauty of their bond.

It’s not about being delusional or not accepting the facts as reality. It’s about recognizing something profound, something rare that transcends other real or supposed connections. We don’t believe their bond is just platonic, just PR, or just friendship. If you still think that you need actively LISTEN and pay a closer look and EAR at what is publicly available. It goes beyond that. What we see is something that defies the boundaries of ordinary relationships.

This isn’t about diminishing the significance of other relationships they may have; it’s about acknowledging that what Luke and Nicola share is singular, a once in a lifetime kind of connection. It’s not something that can be replicated or overshadowed. It’s more.

This ship isn’t built on superficial observations or wishful thinking, it’s rooted in what they’ve shown us. It’s something you don’t see every day, and certainly not in every connection. It’s about believing in the rarity of what they have and celebrating it for the unique bond it is.

For those of us who believe, this feels more like something bigger, more meaningful, and more enduring than any fleeting moment.

This corner of the internet wasn’t created to be all things to all people, it was built with a clear and intentional purpose: to celebrate, believe in, and support the connection between Luke and Nicola. It’s a space rooted in trust, admiration, and the shared belief that what they have is rare and extraordinary.

If someone finds that they no longer resonate with that purpose, that’s okay. People grow, perspectives shift, and interests change. But the respectful and graceful thing to do is to quietly take your leave. Staying to criticize or sow negativity only detracts from the energy and intention of the space, which is to uplift and celebrate, not to argue or debate.

This community thrives on faith and positivity. It’s for those who still see the magic, who choose to believe, and who want to nurture a space filled with that same belief. If that’s no longer where your heart lies, it’s perfectly fine to move on, do the same if you think that we’re crazy, but let us continue to build on the foundation that brought them here.

"If you know, you know."This phrase perfectly encapsulates what it means to believe in something that isn’t always spelled out but is undeniably felt. Like the kind of connection that doesn’t need an announcement because it’s there, plain as day, for those who see it.

“If you know, you know" speaks to the undeniable energy and chemistry between Luke and Nicola. In their silence, because sometimes, what’s not said speaks louder than words.

For those who know, no explanation is necessary. For those who don’t, no explanation will ever be enough. That’s the beauty of it. Some things are felt, not proven, and if you know, you know.

[honeytonedhottie]

fostering and living out confidence⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🧁🍬

CONFIDENCE ANALOGY ;

think of unshakable confidence as a fragrance, there are three layers to fragrance, the base note, mid note and the top note. thats what makes the fragrance stick and creates the scent we love so so much. confidence is similar in that way, its not just a mask or a front, at least not authentic confidence.

SOOO after thinking of this analogy im going to structure todays post like that, just to keep things simple and easy to apply. anyways, lets talk about confidence…💬🎀

BASE NOTE ;

the base of self confidence is self love. period. you can think of a billion other ways to say this but the base will never change. the base of ur self confidence is how much you love yourself. so how do we get a strong base? a strong foundation of self love thats gonna make sure that our self confidence remains intact?

start treating yourself like someone that u care about. treat urself like you would a friend, would you criticize them harshly for every mistake? would you tear them down when they’re struggling? no, you’d encourage them, remind them of their worth, and help them grow. now it’s time to do that for yourself. cuz why are u treating others better than u treat urself?

a really important aspect of self love is FORGIVENESS. forgiving yourself and having compassion for yourself cuz we hold ourselves to such a higher standard then we do others, especially if you're a perfectionist. and that can become really toxic, really quickly.

MID NOTE ;

the mid note of self confidence is trust in yourself. it’s the belief that you can handle whatever life throws your way. it’s knowing that even if you stumble, you’ll figure out how to get back up. its knowing that YOU'LL HAVE UR BACK even if others dont. we can build up our self trust by...

♡ doing what we say we'll do

♡ following thru on promises made to ourselves

♡ practicing self discipline

♡ trust ur gut feeling

♡ say no when u dont want to do something

some words that u can add to ur vocabulary to be more confident and advocate for urself properly is "absolutely not" or simply NO. theres so much power in the word NO so make sure to use it more…💬🎀

♡ honor your feelings and honor your wants + needs

self confidence is the mid note of confidence because without self trust, ur confidence wavers because you’re constantly second guessing your abilities and choices and thats not sustainable at all. you have to know and TRUST that ur that girl. bcuz u are.

TOP NOTE ;

the top note of confidence is how u express yourself. its the top note because thats what radiates outward and its how the world notices u first. self expression is how you own ur individuality, how you voice ur own opinions. how u express urself AUTHENTICALLY. in essence, self-expression is about living boldly and unapologetically as you. because isnt it so freeing to just be who you are? now what are some ways we can cultivate our self expression?

♡ having creative outlets

♡ exploring ur interests

♡ having ur own personal style, signature, brand etc

♡ journalling

GET COMFY IN UR OWN SKIN ; 

i feel like the most confident people are dancers. i feel this way cuz of the way my own confidence SKYROCKETED after i started dancing. i feel like dancing gives u a sense of control over ur own body and its just amazing.

whenever i feel like i need a little boost of confidence or i wanna feel sexy and good in my own skin i DANCE. and i promise that it helps so so much. i dance around in my room in my panties all the time and it’s like therapy. 

embarrassment does NOT exist, stop making urself feel awkward or embarrassed for making mistakes sometimes, learn to laugh and not take everything so seriously.

ALTER EGO CONCEPT ;

an alter ego is a persona you create—someone you embody when you need to channel certain traits, strengths, or energies that you might not fully feel in your everyday self…💬🎀 

using an alter ego is super helpful when it comes to confidence because it helps u to detach from ur insecurities. you temporarily set aside your fears and limitations and adopt the mindset and behaviors of your alter ego.

using alter egos can even help u to access different strengths that u never knew u had because ur removing the limitations that u place on urself. lets talk about how to create an alter ego.

HOW TO CREATE AN ALTER EGO ;

first start off by identifying the traits that u want to have, then give ur alter ego a name and an identity. u can even go as far as to visualize ur alter ego, anchor them with symbols, and practicing embodying them. some examples of people who used the alter ego concept include beyonce with sasha fierce, and kobe bryants black mamba.

[mathsbian]

Also a lot of schools have other kinds of free tutoring available as well, you don’t need to ask ChatGPT how to do your calculus homework because 1. It doesn’t know, it was trained to pair words together not do math (use Wolfram Alpha instead to check your answers) and 2. You can get help from someone who is getting paid to help you but that you don’t have to pay for and you will come away actually having a better understanding of the topic you are learning about.

Writing papers is teaching you to formulate arguments and how to support them properly.

Math homework is drilling skills and techniques into you.

Programming assignments are teaching you to think like a computer and preparing you for when you get a job and get assigned a very specific corner of a big project.

Labs and science homework are preparing you for lab work (duh…) and reviewing other people’s research.

And I genuinely think, as a person who got degrees in math and computer science, that it’s really important to learn how to write an argumentative paper. It teaches you so much about how other people are writing their blog posts and papers and articles and whatnot. It teaches you that you can certainly find individual quotes from things supporting your thesis, even if the whole thing maybe doesn’t (check sources for information you are being given, maybe the source doesn’t actually say what they’re arguing it does?). It teaches you that, when you have to find sources to argue against, that you can find sources that are very easy to argue with (is this video essayist actually arguing with the best version of the other side of this debate? Or is it just the stuff easiest to argue with?). It teaches you how to think critically about the things you are reading and what they are saying (because for a while a lot of what you were reading was being analyzed as a potential supporting source). Value the time you have being guided through this process.

chatgpt is the coward's way out. if you have a paper due in 40 minutes you should be chugging six energy drinks, blasting frantic circus music so loud you shatter an eardrum, and typing the most dogshit essay mankind has ever seen with your own carpel tunnel laden hands

[aziraphales-library]

Hi mods!!! Thank you so much for the work you do 💛

I was thinking if there's fics you all wanted to add to the #mods favorites tag??

Here, have a cake for me to express my gratitude 🍰 some of my absolute favorites I found in this blog! 💛💛

Hello and thank you! <3 This ask prompted me to go through the tabs on my phone to bookmark and close the fics I've read. So, to add to the #mod faves tag, here are my favourites of the ones I've read recently...

Critical Upgrade (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Tech) by Kirathaune (T)

Modern Office AU: Aziraphale likes his vintage computer equipment, but it's causing problems with his colleagues. Gabriel mandates an upgrade, and Crowley from IT is assigned to make it all work.

Our homeward steps were just as light by On1OccasionFork (T)

She flipped to the paperwork for the new gentleman, a Mr. A. Z. Fell. He was a retired literature professor, it seemed. He was slated to be in the room next to — oh, this could be a problem — Anthony.

Creative Writing for Creative Children and Panicked Nannies by munchmulch (T)

Unsurprisingly, it only takes a few moments for pounding feet to be heard from the hall before a harried looking man skids to the entrance of the room, halting with a jerk before actually stepping in. “Adam! You can’t just run off like that! I told you that they’re not going to want a bloo—“ he cuts himself off with a strangled sound, “blasted adult sitting in on a club!” --- Aziraphale is as prepared for the new school year as he can be-- what he's not prepared for is an awkward man in sunglasses who's about to pull Aziraphale into not only his own life, but the lives of Aziraphale's students.

Take Me to Heaven by TawnyOwl95 (M)

Aziraphale does not have a priest kink. His brother, Father Gabriel, is a priest, for goodness sake. It's just that Father Anthony isn't really like any priest Aziraphale has met before and he's thoroughly upsetting the carefully constructed habits Aziraphale has made to keep himself safe. When Father Anthony replaces Aziraphale as the conductor of St. Beryl's Church choir, they are forced to work together to get the choir up to snuff before Bishop Frances' visit. Aziraphale's attraction grows and it becomes harder to repress who he is and what he wants from life. A life he's starting to feel like he's wasted by trying so hard to conform.

The Garden of Temptation by tishae (E)

Anthony J Crowley is a gardener in the small village of Tadfield, making barely enough to get by. He rents a room, doesn't eat or drink much, but he's getting to live his 'passion', whatever that means. Aziraphale Godfrey, a professional antiques dealer, is engaged and he has no reason to be unhappy. He has a wonderful apartment, is taken care of, and only sometimes is he made to feel small and inadequate. When Crowley comes into an inheritance that includes a number of items that he's pretty sure are junk, he is way out of his depth, and readily calls up a professional to help him work through it. Turns out they both have a lot to unpack. or I wanted to write about sad Aziraphale becoming happy Aziraphale, so here we are.

The Parent Trap by illustrious_slimeman, nonbinarysharks (T)

Adam and Warlock are identical twins, separated as infants and each raised by one of their adoptive fathers. When a chance meeting at a summer camp brings them together again, they hatch a plan to get their helpless parents back together. In the process, they learn more about themselves, each other, and their parents' history than they ever imagined. --- This is based off of Melonsharks' Parent Trap AU and is a fairly faithful adaptation of the 1998 Lindsay Lohan version of the film but with a few changes here and there, a whole lot of new scenes, and accompanying illustrations courtesy of Shark! The fic is pretty much fully written at this point and will be updating every Saturday

- Mod D

[carnatus89]

Shen Qingqiu triple trouble!

So, System Possession AU of @artsarasp is going through, stuff let's say. Angsty stuff. So of course my mind was like.

Let's make shen triplets!

The situation is, Shen Jiu has his fatal Qi deviation, Shen Yuan dies by choking on food and all is normal. But, some error occurs, and both Shen Jiu’s and Shen Yuan’s souls are in danger of disintegrating from the Qi deviation. The System notices this and tries to fix it, forcing the soul to generate a body to occupy from basically thin air. But there’s a problem, since there’s two souls that are now generating a body, meanwhile the original body is still functional, though has been metaphorically dragged through the mud. Thus, both Shen Jiu and Shen Yuan materialize with new bodies while the System is absorbed into the spare body.

So now we have three Shen Qingqius. And the System is Not Happy.

Neither is Shen Jiu to be honest.

Shen Yuan somehow convinces both the System and Shen Jiu that they should pretend to just be brothers, make some bullshit about trapped consciousness to fool the peak lords, while he wacks his brain to try to avoid death or punishment from the enraged System. Which can still give both points and punishments. The problem is that since he got the short end of the stick in the body lottery, he has to be very careful of exerting the body’s limits, so he can’t get agitated. And giving punishments is very agitating. Shen Yuan is basically trying to make the System care. If Wall-E can love, so can the System, wouldn’t it be better for the story if he becomes an active member? It would also be better to leave the story to develop itself organically, think about all the character development! So the protagonist can have a more round support cast! If he read something like that, he wouldn’t have criticized so much the papapa scenes since he could just focus on that! What do you think System-bro?

Meanwhile Shen Jiu is very conflicted, since these, what, fakers? Clones? Some type of demons? Are stealing his face and seem to have some ulterior motive, but both seem eager to ‘help him’ somehow. Granted, the blue eyed freak is creepy as fuck, a fake cherfulness that all his instincts scream to get away from, but he’s mostly… nice. The definition of the word, at least. The other fake is snarky, doesn’t really back down from a verbal dispute, and, while infuriating, it’s more real. Safer, in a way, more honest. Besides, the blue eyed one is useful when trying to find synonyms while writing or finding the name of a song he couldn’t remember well. They can stay, for now.

System is actually scared. They saved the scum villain character, but made a bigger problem while also becoming… vulnerable. How could they make sure the story functions if they have a weak and frail body? They are forced to play along, become a more direct support to the characters to make sure they stay in line. But [User02] seems to have other ideas, and while they must punish him, they really can’t without suffering themselfs. The original scum villain for the most part follows the script, but he also seems perturbed by their presence, which is fine. All is fine, they should be able to fix it.

Somehow.

The three of them are mostly the same in appearance. The major difference that the peaklords catch on is the mark on the forehead (I don’t remember what it is called). Shen Jiu has a lotus flower painted, Shen Yuan has a dot while the System has an empty circle, resembling a zero. Both Shen Jiu and the System have their clothes correctly, while Shen Yuan doesn’t really know how any of his layers of clothes work, so he fastened the belt around everyone, even the outer robe. Finally, the System has their hair tight to their head, Shen Jiu has it a little loose to let it flow but staying neat and clean. Shen Yuan just, tries his best. Finally, the System’s face is kinda cartoonish, they make faces that shouldn't be possible, stretching his smile wide and making their eyes a little too big. Both Shens don’t mention it much, they just say they’re special.

I don’t know what came to me to do this shit, but now’s here, deal with it.

Spanish rambling when this idea just came barreling through my brain.

[bonefall]

with how little relevance characters often have outside their introduction arc, its genuinely WEIRD how relevant tree constantly is. which is an odd criticism because characters should remain relevant after being established but in warriors it feels like blatant favoritism. i dont even dislike treee and i liked him a lot in tbc but its ODD

Mr. Gas Leak has a very distinct feeling (an odor, if you will) to me. It feels like he became so relevant because people were frustrated that he wasn't doing the Very Special Job they'd invented just for him back in AVoS, so the writing team tried to "respond to criticism" by making him show up all the time.

But like... that wasn't really the heart of the criticism. It wasn't a clamor to bring back Tree specifically. It was frustration that they would set up worldbuilding elements and then forget about them when they became inconvenient.

SkyClan's return, negotiator role, the border guard between the DF and StarClan, voting to oust a leader. We've gotten at least one (sometimes multiple) additions that threaten to shake up the status quo in every modern arc-- and then they're forgotten about or not used to their full potential.

In honesty though, the more he appears, the more I actively dislike him. I thought he was cool at first, I enjoyed the idea that SkyClan was going to bring some new dynamics to the politics at the lake. But every role he's had since his introduction has been insufferable.

I HATED how he absolutely refused to do his job in Squilf's Hope because of personal bias

I can't stand how the Sisters have been willing to help the Clans after their treatment in that book, and the constant narrative derision they get in spite of that

The fact everyone just forgot Tree existed in ASC until Nightheart said something was astonishingly bad writing. If I forgot about a major worldbuilding element like that I would be genuinely embarassed, not cutely lampshading it

Even the way he ended up "helping" when the narrative remembered him was annoying. Like, "Oh right! Having this role just grinds the action to a screeching halt! Instead of the Battle Cats doing Battles, they argue offscreen about things! Wow, this was a terrible idea to begin with!"

There are waaaay worse characters in WC, and I can't bring myself to hate him the same way I hate some others like Gray Wing. But boy, he has found his way down my list of "least liked WC characters."

[cloverkel]

I cannot with this. Most of this, and also in the anime, is orihime specifically having feelings for ichigo. All of the proof I see for ichigo, is him protecting her. But what people seem to forget is that he does this for everyone, hence the rescue arc for Rukia as one of the many examples. The reason that the plot focuses on his protective nature of Orihime, is that she cannot defend herself well up until later arcs, and in the arrancar arc she is quite literally kidnapped. The proof here is 1 of 2 things, Orihime having a crush on ichigo which is not reciprocated, or the fact she was kidnapped and ichigo and all of her friends came to save her specifically. All the instances in this post, and manga have explanations as to why ichigo is protective, and he would in fact do that for anyone one of his other friends as well. Just because ichihime is canon, does not mean it was well written. This does not mean, that it makes sense, or is realistic, or there is not better ships. If anything, I'd argue that it would make more sense if Ichigo did not have a love interest, as he barely showed interest in orihime, the person he literally married and had kids with, let alone the other options. Again, the reason he was protective of her during the arrancar arc, is because she was kidnapped. Other instances, are explained by the mere fact, that he would protect all of his friends. These actions are not mutually exclusive to orihime, nor romantic in nature besides her one sided feelings, as this one mean all his protective actions towards his friends would be romantic as well. It took up until nearly 400 episodes for them to get together, and even then it feels forced by the studio and producers rather than kubo himself (hence making them look like siblings in design choices and making other people actually interested in orihime, rather than ichigo). If you want to talk about the ulquiorra fight, the fight itself was rushed and ichigo, being the mc, had plot armor. Hence, his hollow form which is never seen again or barely addressed, despite killing ulquiorra who was said to be unkillable. Orihime was more used as a plot device rather than a love interest for most, if not all the show. The only time she had good or consistant writing, is the first season, where I feel her feelings make more sense and the ship would've been good if the show/manga didn't nuke her character and make her one-sided. The ship is one-sided for the entire animanga, and lacks nuance. There is a reason, a lot of the fandom dislikes the pairing, such as reasons previously stated, but also personal disappointment with what the ship could've been. Orihime could have been a really relatable and good character, although her writing slowly got muddled and she became just a love-astruck support character (i can explain this in more detail if needed).

Again, just because something is canon does not mean it is good. And ALL evidence supporting ichihime, is subjective to criticism, as from a writer's standpoint it is just poorly written, and could use A LOT of revision.

Why IchiHime was obvious as hell for endgame (regardless of the fandom’s denial about it)

–IH has been obvious since the pilot chapter. Ichigo and Orihime had mutual romantic feelings for each other in the bleach prototype, Kubo’s original plan for bleach. Here’s a post on it. –If you really, truly want to argue that Ichigo and Orihime “barely had any moments!” luckily, I was insane enough to create a masterpost with links to every single IH moment in the manga (which had to be split in half because it literally broke due to having too many links on it). Part One is here, Part Two is here. It has over 377 links. Say what you will, but IchiHime has the most moments and screentime of any other pairing by a landslide.

–The amount of focus that was put on Ichigo’s desire to protect Orihime specifically is MASSIVE. It was made more than apparent how much Ichigo cared about Orihime and how important she was to him, by the level of focus that was put on Ichigo’s protectiveness over her, specifically. It’s something that singled her out as special and set her apart from the others, time and time again. It was consistently emphasized in the manga, and, conversely, so too was Orihime’s desire to protect Ichigo specifically. Their mutual desires to protect each other was a recurring theme. I’ve made a masterpost on this too, which you can find here. Warning, it’s long. –Ichigo is open and receptive to Orihime’s displays of her feelings for him in positive ways. The fact that she cares about him so much doesn’t bother him in the slightest. In fact, he likes it. Here’s another link.

With that out of the way, let’s get to it

Keep reading

[mrs-hatake]

Hi hi , I've been really wanting a fic with reader/mc having a smaller chest and her being insecure about it

Do you think the LADS men will care about her size or love her regardless?

Thanks!!

a/n: thank you for sending in a request, anon! i hope you enjoy the boys' reaction and i'm sorry for caleb's abrupt ending but it's midnight where i'm from and i'm very sleepy :(

Sylus:

“I’m not coming out!”

Sylus sighs heavily as he robs the spot between his eyes. As much as he loves Y/N, she is very stubborn. Usually, he tolerates such behavior and enjoys seeing her reactions when he teasers but today, he’s just so tired. 

They’ve been shopping all morning for the perfect dress for a dinner party they’re invited to this Friday night. Feet sore, head throbbing from the loud and obnoxious music playing and stomach rumbling with hunger, Sylus has half a mind to snatch Y/N and return home to the comfort of his dark and quiet home. Screw the party and the perfect dress. Y/N has a walk-in closet full of pretty dresses and outfits. A new one is completely unnecessary.

“Sweety,” Sylus sighs, “You’ve been in there for fifteen minutes. Either come out or we’re going home.” he tries to sound as gentle as he can to hide his frustrations but Sylus is at his limit.

At that moment, a sweet voice, one that is no doubt concealing a similar exhaustion Sylus is experiencing, asks from above, “May I help you with anything, sir?”

Looking up, Sylus meets the questioning gaze of a salesperson standing next to the leather chair he’s sitting on. The smile on her lips is tight but to an untrained eyes, it will come off as an easy going and friendly smile.

Wanting to end this torturous day, Sylus just points at the fitting room Y/N is in, “She won’t come out. 

The woman nods her head. The raging storm of determination radiating takes Sylus aback. He watches, marveled, as the woman knocks on the door and, somehow, manages to convince Y/N to step out. 

“I don’t like it.” Y/N pouts, using her arms to shield her chests. 

Sylus lifts his eyebrow. It’s rare for him to see Y/N acting so shy. Especially after being together for a long time.

“May I ask why?” The salesperson asks, eyes examining what Y/N is wearing.

Glancing between the woman and Sylus, Y/N reluctantly uncrosses her arms. “I hate…this.” she gestures at the top she’s wearing. 

“What’s wrong with it?”

Y/N frowns as she explains, “It’s something a woman with a…larger chest should wear. Not me.” she finishes her statement with a mutter towards the end.

Sylus’ thick line of his eyebrows jump in surprise. He has never heard Y/N be so insecure about herself before. Sure, she’ll complain about having a bad hair day or make a criticizing comment about some of her pictures but those are normal things. He has never seen her be so self conscious that she’s hiding her beauty. 

“That’s because you’re wearing a bigger size.” The salesperson calmly explains, “It needs to be smaller.”

“I can’t go any smaller, this is my size!” Sylus knows that Y/N didn’t mean to shriek but she tends to forget to control her tone of voice when she’s frustrated.

“I understand that, miss.” Calm as the sea, the woman further explains, “This top is meant to compliment a woman’s chest regardless of their size. That’s why you have to go two sizes smaller.”

Y/N stares at the woman with doubt. She bites her lower lip in contemplation before agreeing to the suggestion.

“There, that looks much better.” The salesperson states after Y/N changes into a smaller size.

And true to her words, the built in cups push her smaller chest upwards, making them look bigger and fuller. Y/N is glowing with delight as she pays for her top and maxi length skirt.

On their drive home, Sylus stays silent. 

It’s only when they’re home where Y/N is steaming her new clothes with a happy tune that Sylus’ asks, “Since when has this been an issue?”

Glancing at him, Y/N tilts her head. 

“Your chest.” Sylus clarifies. 

Shame washes over Y/N in waves as heat warms her cheeks in embarrassment, “I don’t know she shrugs.

“Y/N.”

Unable to avoid answering the question since Sylus used his deep and commanding voice as Onychinus’ leader, Y/N replies, “I just thought…you might not like them anymore.” Her voice grows quiet with each word.

“What?” Sylus gawks at her. For the third time that day, Y/N has taken her by surprise. He doesn’t have time to dwell on how he, as a crime lord, should always be alert. His brain is too focused on what Y/N has said. 

“Why would you think that?”

Again, Y/N shrugs. 

This time, Sylus doesn’t push her. He waits with the patience of a monk until she’s comfortable to speak. 

But when she says nothing, Sylus just sighs. 

He talks large but quiet steps to where Y/N is standing by the closet and gently turns her around to face him, “I’ve never stopped loving them.” he explains.

And Y/N wants to tell him that he doesn’t have to take pity on her, Sylus quickly adds, “I never cared about their size either. I always found them cute and you know how crazy I get when you wear those adorable knitted bralette.” 

“You’re just saying that.” Y/N mutters.

“Y/N,” Sylus cups her chin and tilts it upwards, “I meant. I love every inch of you. If you gain weight, I’d still love you. If you lose it, my heart will skip a beat at the sight of you. If you want to get bigger breasts, I’ll support you if that’s what makes you happy. You want to keep them the way they are, then I’ll continue loving you. It doesn’t matter what I want, all that matters is what you want and whatever makes you happy.”

With each word Sylus utters, Y/N’s eyes well up with tears. She blinks them away but a single tear manages to escape. Sylus quickly wipes it away.

“What if I don’t have any breasts?” Y/N asks, tone very serious.

“Wouldn’t bother me.” Sylus’ answer is firm, confident that his feelings wouldn’t change.

“What if I have four tits?” 

Sylus rolls his eyes, a laugh coming out as a huff, “Now you’re just being ridiculous.”

Y/N beams at him. She leans on her tiptoes to peck his lips, “Thank you.” she whispers.

“I love you.” Sylus leans down and returns the kiss, “And I meant everything I said.”

Y/N nods and presses her head against his chest, sighing in contempt when Sylus hugs her.

Zayne:

Zayne likes that he has a routine; one that he follows to a T. His small circle of friends and his colleagues tease him about his eccentrics but Zayne pays them the mind. Just knowing how the day will play it puts his mind at ease. 

Zayne absolutely abhors when things don’t go his way. And even when he is known as a problem solver, he just loves predictability. Waking up every morning at four thirty sharp to lie in bed, processing his existence and then getting out of bed to work out for an hour is a routine he’s been following since high school. 

The baker at the bakery five blocks away from his hospital has memorized that Zayne always steps into her bakery at a quarter to seven to grab his usual breakfast; a turkey and egg with cheese croissant and a black coffee. He’s at work at exactly seven. Has his lunch at one in the afternoon and his home at six in the evening to continue on with his routine. 

So, when the time finally comes where he and Y/N start to date, he changes his routine. Zayne will be honest, the change was stress inducing but he managed to perform little changes. He still follows his weekend routine, however, it will be at Y/N’s apartment. They both have agreed since their relationship is only a few months old, it’s much too early to move in together. 

This is how we find Zayne having breakfast with Y/N on a lazy Saturday morning. He’s sipping his black coffee in one hand while his other is holding his sleek black tablet which projects a hologram version of the morning paper. 

“Do you know Dr. Ivannikov?” Y/N asks after Zayne places his coffee mug on the kitchen table.

Zayne doesn’t look away from the newspaper, “The plastic surgeon? Yeah I know him.” 

“Is he any good?”

Zayne shifts his gaze from his tablet to glance at his girlfriend, “Why?”

Known for his attention to detail, Zayne doesn't miss the minute way Y/N’s shoulders tense and how forced her causal tone is.

“No reason.”

Curious, Zayne puts away his tablet and pays his full attention to Y/N who is avoiding his questioning gaze.

Zayne stares. Intense and demanding for answers. Maybe it’s the jealousy of having another doctor brought up in the little haven or the fact Y/N is being secretive that has him frowning, unaware of how suffocating he’s being.

“I want to get breast implants.” The words pass through Y/N’s lips in a rushed whisper. Embarrassment dripping from every word. 

Zayne blinks as he tries to register what he heard. “I’m sorry?” he leans in closer, “I didn’t catch that.”

Y/N groans but she can’t escape Zayne’s hunger for curiosity.

“I don’t know.” She shrugs, still refusing to meet Zayne’s hazel green eyes. “I just don’t think they look nice. Every time I shop for clothes, they don’t compliment me at all. I want to buy those sexy lingerie but I’m too flat to show off anything. And…”

This time, she does meet Zayne’s gaze as she continues, “I’m worried you don’t find me all that attractive.”

Now that Zayne thinks about it, Y/N’s confession does explain why their most intimate moments were always done in the dark. He assumed that it’s because Y/N is shy and embarrassed but now he knows better.

“I can call him right now if you want and have the surgery for tomorrow.” Zayne states. As he leans back into his chair, he doesn’t miss the dejection shadowing Y/N’s beautiful face.

“But I’ll only do it if you really want this. I am a little hurt that you think of me as a shallow person and that you’d rather go through extreme measures than expressing your concerns with me but since it’s your body then it’s your choice to do whatever you want with it.” He finishes by crossing his arms across his chest.

Hearing all of that is like eating a bowl of needles; harsh and difficult to swallow. Y/N knows that Zayne is being logical but she thought he’d wax poems about her beauty. 

“What do you think, Zayne?” Y/N asks, heart beating in her ears in expectancy. 

“I think,” Zayne interlocks his fingers and rests his chin on them, “That you’re perfect the way you are.”

Y/N hears Zayne clear as crystal but she doesn’t process what he said, “What?”

“I don’t think the implants are necessary and I love how you appear. As I said earlier, however, if that’s what You want then I’m not going to stop you.” Zayne simply shrugs.

A volcano erupts in Y/N’s tummy and fills it up with millions of fluttering butterflies. She pushes her chair back and walks to where is sitting across from her. She invites herself on his lap and wraps her arms around his shoulders.

“I love you.” She kisses the tip of his nose, “Thank you for being honest.”

Zayne smiles at her. He brushes a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “I love you too.”

Caleb:

It’s very rare for Y/N and Caleb to have a week off from work at the same time. Especially with how hectic their work is getting. Mountains of reports, long missions and sleepy nights. They’re at their wits end.

That’s why, when their schedule for July was released, they’re ecstatic to learn that they’ll be on break together. So they decided to take advantage of the heat and rent a vacation home at the beach located an hour away from Linkon.

“Hurry up! We’re gonna be late!” Caleb shouts at the bottom of the stairs as he glances at his wrist watches, “All the good spots will be gone.”

He and Y/N should’ve left the beach house ten minutes ago but Y/N is running late. Which is odd because Y/N is punctual and would rather eat chalk than be late to anything. 

Fed up with waiting, Caleb takes to the stairs by twos.

“I’m coming in!” He announces before opening Y/N’s bedroom door. 

He finds her standing in front of the full length mirror; hands on her hips as she twists and turns while examining her reflection. 

“Does this look weird?” Y/N asks while pointing at her pastel green halter top. 

Caleb’s ears are pretty pink when Y/N stands closer to him, as if the shorter distance will help him with his assessment. 

“I think they’re–it’s cute!”

Y/N groans, loud and unladylike. Her eyes roll as she clicks her tongue. “I don’t want you to think they’re cute, you should think they’re sexy!”

Wait. 

“What?” 

Caleb’s breath catches in his throat as the words are registered in his brain. “What?”

Again, Y/N rolls her eyes. “My tits. They should be hot. Not cute.” She explains as if she’s talking to someone is intellectually challenging. 

“Oh.”

Y/N sighs. 

“Just forget it.” Y/N turns to change into a tankini to save herself from the embarrassment but a tight grip holds her in place.

“They’re hot. You’re hot.” Caleb’s bounces between Y/N’s chest and her eyes, ears still pink but they’re much brighter than before.

“Now you’re just pitying me.” Y/N crosses her arms, a sour taste on her tongue at the thought of Caleb singing empty praises.

“No, I mean it! You’ve always been and I’ve always found you attractive.”

Y/N doesn’t trust Caleb’s confession despite how truthful and genuine it sounds.

“Really?” She quirks an eyebrow.

“Yes!” Caleb nods frantically. “Do you know how hard it is to fight off those filthy mutts drooling all over you?”

Heart hammering in her chest, Y/N lowers her arms, suddenly feeling shy. “You do that?”

“Yes!” Caleb doesn’t screech but it’s pretty close. “You’re smoking hot and it’s a fight to the death type of situation and I’ll be damned if I don’t come out victorious.”

It’s intense and all too much but his confession makes Y/N’s thoughts fuzzy. Warmth bubbles in her tummy and goosebumps prickle her skin as Caleb continues complimenting her.

“We don’t have to go swimming.” Y/N interrupts Caleb who is retelling an incident where he punched a guy for making a crewed comment about you. 

“What, why not?” He gasps because Y/N has been begging to go to the beach.

“Because we have a lot of things to talk about.” Y/N then shyly smiles at him, “Like when did you start liking me and how long I’ve been liking you.”

[srslylini]

The thing about Act 1 of season 2 is that, while in context with the rest of s2 it was bad, they actually did set up a good story and continued season 1 pretty amazingly.

There were still some problems but genuinely most of those problems stem from the rest of the Episodes not delivering and not on the first 3 setting stuff up.

Act 1 giving us the tree being sick? Really good idea, perfect set up even the connection between the hextech and it being sick? Nice as fuck. It's what they did with it (nothing) and how it didn't matter (at all) that destroys Act 1.

Caitlyn's set up was absolutely not bad, and a lot of people were praising it. It made sense for her character and it also didn't seem like they thought she was right. Not with all the other episodes after Act 1, though. Contrary to populer believe I like morally not so good (evil) characters if they make sense. Caitlyns narrative was promising to be interesting they just didn't do anything with it and acted like what she did in Act 1 was fine and excusable and alright. It wasn't. Had they actually done something with what they set up with her, well I wouldn't be standing here now.

They also promised this season being a Vi focused season and while I would say that Act 1 did actually give us a lot of Vi, in context with the other Acts... no. In hindsight there was no need to make her an Enforcer. "But the lore-" I'm gonna stop you right there, they also completely changed Viktors lore, and even Jinx' lore. So?

CaitVi was also something that, in Act 1, I was way more ready to get behind. I was a CaitVi shipper in season 1, I did like their dynamic and wanted it explored. I liked their kiss. I did not like what they did after that. Not Caitlyn hitting Vi and then getting to hit her again and never apologizing. I am a lesbian and here I am telling you: Everything that happened with them was weird.

Act 1 also gave us this genuine good found family between Isha, Sevika and Jinx. It was so moving and well done even in such short of a time (there is still stuff to criticize about it but the consensus is that it is awesome so yk I can overlook certain stuff). And then they turned around and wrote Sevika completely out of the story and killed the plot device that was Isha. When Isha should have mattered.

I didn't even originally dislike how many new characters they introduced because season 1 once mastered characters like this. Maddie seemed promising, until she wasn't. Loris seemed interesting and well thought out until he wasn't. Lest was such a good addition until she was just written out of the show completely. Don't even get me started on Steb.

Ambessas ploy in Act 1 was also something that I genuinely liked. Even Mel figuring out a mystery was good. Until they decided "well that doesn't matter anymore".

In Act 1 I did actually like the subtleties. I liked how Caitlyn saw the Violets and how, in episode 3 of s2 she saw one through her rifles lense (I have no idea what that is called, sue me haha) floating over Jinx. Because it was a nice add on and nothing that would destroy your viewing experience if not noticed, and it wasn't on the nose.

While a lot of directions they took, I was already questioning (the Smeech stuff took up way too much time) I was ready to give that a pass because it didn't destroy anything, yet.

Up until episode 4, it all seemed well enough, and while the prison scene also made me question stuff (that god damn Enforcer pants joke oh my god I will never let that go what was that) it wasn't anything too bad, yet.

The reason Act 1 doesn't work now is because of Act 2 and Act 3. Had Act 1 stood alone or had Act 2 and Act 3 delivered on Act 1, we wouldn't have that much of a problem. As it is the further Acts destroy what Act 1 seemed to carefully build up.

In the end what seemed purposefully and artistically done in Act 1 now seems like something the writers actually believe.

[venomous-qwille]

Hi Qwille!

So I was wondering because I’m struggling with this myself- how did you continuously improve with art when you were first still building upon your skills? Like to get to a level that could be professional?

And I think I mean this in more of a mental capacity way. I tend to get angry at the fact that I’m not better by now and feel like I struggle by the skin of my teeth to improve from where I’m at every time, even if objectively speaking I’m already better than people would expect me to be.

I just feel like there’s a better way to go about it than being fueled by anger or spite. I enjoy art, and I’m proud of my work, but I don’t know how to *not* be angry at myself for not being better at it. How do you accept self criticism with grace when it comes to your work? Or how did you, when you were younger? If that’s a question you’re willing to ask, of course! Thank you <3

Hiya! So, I'll start out by saying that this is absolutely the hardest part about learning to draw/paint. The continuous failure and discontent with the work we produce is a constant struggle that is, I believe, the main reason people stop trying to learn at all.

It's okay to get angry and sad, it's okay to be dissatisfied. It's a very cruel joke that, as artists, our eye will improve faster than our ability to draw. We are constantly chasing a carrot that is being pulled further away from us. For me: my improvement was not constant. There were several points where I didn't draw for years, because of other life factors and because the art I was creating brought me no joy.

Things had to change when I decided that I wanted to do art professionally. I needed to improve and improve fast, so I bent a lot of time towards studies. I found that the things I got better at the fastest were the ones where I found studying to be really fun. I really enjoy copying master paintings- especially the nineteenth and twentieth century realists. Finding fun in doing them for the sake of doing them really helped me improve fast because it wasn't stressful- I was just creating art I liked, even if they were copies.

I think accepting that the main joy of art is in the creating, not the result, really helped me be at peace with my artwork. Also, becoming a professional artist and realising that I didnt own what I created- and that I was subject to the (often questionable) tastes of my commissioners/art directors/stakeholders really allowed me to unlatch my emotional self from my work.

Every piece is a step, sometimes you will hit your bellcurve, make the best thing you are currently capable of making- and fuck that feels good- but often you wont, and you wont know why you dont like it. Learning to enjoy the push towards those small moments, the slow improvement as you gradually grasp new skills, learning to love learning, that is the most curative thing. Once I started to enjoy failing, because it meant I was learning- and once I started forgiving myself for not picking everything up straight away- I was much, much happier.

It's okay for it to be hard and your emotions are valid. Forgive yourself for having them and try to find something you enjoy about the process. Recontextualise your mistakes as what they are: not a failure, but just another step up the giant mountain of your art journey. There is always a higher peak. The journey never ends. Stop looking at the top and just enjoy the view and the mountain air. (And for fucks sake don't compare yourself to other people. They're not even climbing the same landmass.)