#like I just want to be an irresponsible adult??

[vivisecti]

important confession:

i used to be tumblr user Vivisecti. i deleted my account because in a psychotic episode i said vile and indefensible shit about "recovering" pedophiles- because i genuinely thought at the time that they could be "cured" and that i could cure them.

my mental illness is no exucse for such a sentiment but i hope to explain why for those hours/days that i held that belief.

i have believed for a very long time that i was sent by God to rid the world of pedophiles, planning murders and even mass murders to do so. for a breif time during my grandiose delusion i believed that it was possible to "cure" them through therapy or medication.

it is not. there is no cure. they should be euthanised.

part of my words, which i apologise for and deeply regret, was me thinking that i could "cure" my pedophile father- which was delusional denial- and i projected it onto others in an irresponsible and reckless manner.

i will never and have never defended pedophilia. i want to make that abundantly clear. my issue was that i thought it could be cured. this is an extremely dangerous lie spead by pedophiles that say "Im in recovery/ im cured though" in order to lower your guard.

pedophiles use mental illness as an excuse or explaination for their abuse- but pedophilia is a set of ACTIONS that you CHOSE to do, and not a mental illness (i dont care what the DSM-5 says.)

when i say "mental health isnt an excuse for pedophilia" i am also saying "pedophilia is not a mental health issue, and to say so is to soften the evil of it and try to make it sympathetic."

i am also very sorry for not telling you who i was earlier- i pathetically wanted you all to like me again, and it was an absolute breach of your boundaries to follow and mutual people who previously had me blocked. i dont have the right to ask you to listen to me or read this, and i am disgusted with myself for being so parasocially needy.

i would especially like to apologise to @rottenfleshnbones who was the victim of my vile words. im so fucking sorry for what happened last month. the anons i sent to you were not enough to express that. you dont have to forgive me or even read this but i just hope it comforts you even a little bit to know that i do not hold those beliefs anymore, and never held them in a sane mind to begin with.

i have hurt others and i am so sorry. i wasnt lying when i said that as an adult i want to work with children who are victims of incest. all i have ever wanted (even in my schizophrenic haze) was make there be fewer pedophiles and less child sexual abuse. i went about it in completely the wrong way and was delusional and in denial.

i really really love you guys and want to be friends.

-vivisecti

[onetimetwotimesthreetimess]

me: celebrating and getting into dumb shit to celebrate my new found financial stability (i literally have no idea why this place is giving me this much money for this job I literally have no idea what I’m supposed to do lol). Creating Pinterest board to decorate my new place and buying cute office wear (last all jobs were work from home—I’ve never been to an actual office y’all), creating designs for my next 12 tattooes (watch me spend every last penny on tattooes and books)

also me: immediately enrols myself into a stupid financial literally course cause I might know a lot of angst for fictional characters but idk shit about taxes and mutuals funds and what not?? And as I woman, I think we should know about all this stuff to protect myself in the future (protecc from idk what but still)

everyone I know to me: you are literally the most chaotic person who keeps getting into dumb shit all the time and yet are the most sensible person at the same time ever like how is this even possible??

[dat-lil-shark]

Just to inform you, guys. I’m intending that, for the majority of our Sparkling AU, it’s an AU, so it’s not about the characters when they are actually babies anymore. It’s basically about the whole entire TFP story except it’s set in a universe where there are no actual wars. The whole ‘war’ thing is just some sparklings going into groups and play-fighting with their imaginations. Every character that ‘died’ in this universe are just either moving to another school (ex: Cliffjumper & Elita One) or got tired of the game and didn’t wanna play anymore (Ex: Skyquake, Dreadwing, and Breakdown). And all the human characters are all little ragdolls that are brought to life by the sparkling’s imaginations.

cause the actual show crippled me and this is my denial mechanism.

(read the tags)

[vvitchy]

why are so many young people online obsessed with calling lgbt people fruits it’s one of my biggest pet peeves

[hopkei]

........but what if tho...?

level of insanity increasing.......

but wHAT IF tho?????

[anxiously-sidequesting]

So this thought has been in my head for quite some time but... I can't help but think about an angst filled, heartwarming tale between Morganthe and Malorn if Morganthe was still a teenager and a student struggling in Ravenwood

[coockie8]

So have y'all also heard about the 13-year-old TikToker who had an 18-year-old fan travel all the way to Florida from Maryland with a gun to, I assume, kidnap her, after which her parents just continued to let her post publicly available videos of herself online for literally anyone to find?

I'm sorry, I'm just losing my mind a little bit over this. Like apparently they even had to pull her out of school at some point due to a second stalker, and at no point do these parents stop to think "Maybe we should stop letting our barely pubescent daughter post videos of herself online for every single creep in the world to fawn over" like seriously!?!?!?

I get wanting to give your child freedom, but at what point do you draw the line here? After she gets kidnapped and further traumatized for life, 'cause you know her dad having to literally kill a guy who showed up at her house with a gun is having some kind of impact here.

[giantkillerjack]

"Oh, Jack. You silly boi. You know that help at the top of the stairs is no help at all."

---

Art piece i may delete later about my parents offering money to me and my sisters to pay for either grad school (a thing I don't want and can't do with my disability) or my wedding (also a thing I don't need/want), but not for anything that would actually help me escape poverty and find stable housing and income.

Like, I recognize the privilege of being able to complain that my parents have offered me a bunch of money but in the wrong way.

But also if that money is on top of a flight of stairs that I can't climb (but my sisters can), then I haven't really been offered money, so much as I have watched money I need be placed somewhere I can't reach it. Which tbh feels worse than if it was never mentioned to me in the first place.

I was gonna send this art to them and i wrote this big long message to go with it, but then I decided to wait until my therapy session on Tuesday to talk it thru with her first, since I've literally never regretted doing that.

Besides, both of my parents are lawyers and right now they're providing me and my friends with a lot of free legal advice about this property we're trying to buy together, so I don't want to rock the boat currently.

I just wish I knew if I had access to that money as a poor person in need of stable housing and quality disability care, and I wish my parents weren't world-class hLepers who have a long and triggering history of engaging me in rigorous debate about the kind of help I should be allowed to receive from them as a disabled person.

Nothing like having to provide an argument that would hold up in court every time I'm sick and need help! Love that! Love that I can't even talk about money with them now without having invasive thoughts about it for days to come due to past incidences in which this repeated behavior of theirs literally endangered my life!!

Not like I need that mental capacity for working on the largest and most exciting opportunity of my life that also happens to line up with my hopes and dreams for the future!! It's fine!! What do I even need mental capacity for anyway?????

This wouldn't even be the first time this little Distrust Fund has caused problems for my relationship with my parents. They are very opposed to that money being used to help my disability and it has caused PROBLEMS for us that we have never quite recovered from.

It's just difficult to be reminded that although our relationship has gotten better (mostly thanks to me setting boundaries), that doesn't mean they now actually believe what I need for my disability when I tell them.

They really do love me, and they have only ever acted with the best of intentions . But good intentions cease to matter when the impact is harmful and repeated. And they have proven to be repeatedly incapable of providing non-ableist support for me again and again and again. They've even genuinely tried to learn; and sometimes it really seems like my mom has made progress with her therapist (who is disabled), but who knows when I can so jarringly be reminded of how quickly that toxic ableist thinking can show its ugly face.

It's so clear to me and they don't even know it's there.

It feels like I'm in a horror movie when I try to get them to understand their own ableism, and that is a good good sign that I may want to consider an approach that minimizes my mental damage instead. Even if it means I don't get their stupid, deeply-conditional-and-yet-the-conditions-are-SO-vague-and-they-won't-admit-it money.

[mariska]

me at 1 am when i have to wake up at like 7:30-8 AM at the latest and partake in an autism assessment appointment when my brain almost never naturally wakes up before like 9:30-10 am and i have medical trauma and prior misdiagnosis triggers acting up in my head and i just got my period and i have endometriosis so im in agony and i start to feel a full blown depressive panic attack coming on even though i've already taken my anti panic medication and also i have adhd and cant get myself to turn on fortnite and play for like an hour to try and de-stress because of all of the above plus executive dysfunction

[theamazingannie]

Love how my parents will talk positively about how kids were so much better behaved when they were younger when parents were allowed to beat their kids and also simultaneously talk about how unhappy their childhoods were and how much they disliked their parents growing up and completely fail to see any correlation

[be-good-to-bugs]

my life is so boring :( i want 2 party

[wilderat]

applied for ebt. did not qualify for ebt (:

[genderqueerdykes]

at this point i don't care how dumb a lot of people would think this is but we need to normalize adults carrying stuffed animals and comfort objects.

i have witnessed grown adults step out of their homes clutching adult cats to their chests just like a kid clutches a teddy bear, all while scolding it for trying to get away because it is uncomfortable and feels unsafe. i have watched people carry around puppies and miniature dog breeds while shopping and get upset at them when they don't sit perfectly still.

if you want something that brings you comfort by holding it, and can be taken anywhere and everywhere with you, but don't want it to move, make sounds, interrupt you, have bodily functions or needs, can be forgotten about easily if it gets inconvenient and can be put down without it running away: you want a stuffed animal, toy, blanket, or other comfort object.

you do not want a live animal. wanting an animal means accepting that it is alive. animals are not objects to be held and then berated when they have the audacity to be sentient. animals are not objects, period. they are living, breathing beings that have needs just like you. you. they are not here specifically to comfort you, there are here to be alive.

we need to normalize that it's okay for adults to carry objects that comfort them. i'm autistic and struggle with anxiety- i do this every time i leave the house when i'm able to. i carry very large stuffed animals with me and i don't receive negative comments, in fact, i only receive compliments if people say anything at all. i've been told that seeing an adult who carries stuffed animals and has lots of visible comfort objects (keychains, stim toys, etc.) is a welcoming sight to see, and that it brings others joy.

it's okay to want something that brings you comfort. but a live animal isn't always the answer. they are comforting, but they are not objects, and it's really irresponsible to use them as such. we need to acknowledge that adults need comfort, but we also have to be responsible in where we get it from.

[oatmealaddiction]

Rant time, but like, people who complain about the diamonds in Steven Universe getting "redeemed" and "facing no consequences" like, why did you ever think the diamonds getting destroyed was on the table as an option? Why did everyone think the show was going to end with Steven fighting and killing the diamonds, or the universe dolling out some Hayes Code Karma Violence like a giant rock falling on them at the last second? Like I guess I understand the criticism in theory that Steven Universe's metaphor for the diamonds as toxic family members falls apart when you consider they're crimes as space monarchs doing a colonialism, but Steven isn't The Avatar. At no point in the show does he even have the power to doll out the punishment you guys want.

Steven *does* try to fight the diamonds, and he gets his ass kicked. He gets smashed under his own shield and knocked out. His mom forms an entire army to fight them and LOSES and has almost all of her friends corrupted by them. The Diamonds are bigger, badder and stronger than The Crystal Gems (kind of like how adults are bigger and stronger than children.) So instead, he reveals his identity as Pink and the Diamonds immediately stop trying to kill him and the show instead pivots to be about political diplomacy. He doesn't like the diamonds, by the time Future rolls around we find out that he hates them and has private thoughts about killing them even now that that they don't pose any threat. But during the show he's powerless and so instead, talking to them and trying to change their mind is just a practical option because fighting hasn't worked. Because in the real world, there are times you will be outmatched and violence won't be the answer—even if the people hurting you probably do deserve violence.

And the diamonds aren't "redeemed," they just change their mind. They just decide that they want to keep Pink in their lives, so they begin to take accountability and undo the damage that they caused with their war, and presumably will spend the next thousands of years of their lives dismantling their own empire. And again, Steven Universe Future discusses the discomfort and the downside of this approach, that even if it's better and harm is actively being undone, the diamonds can't resolve all the harm they've done and Steven largely doesn't feel like he's gotten justice for what they did to him and his mother—much less the universe. So I don't get where anyone gets off saying this story is irresponsible or saying you should just forgive bad people. I don't see that anywhere in the story. The theme of Universe has always been the necessity of change, and so it makes sense that the villains aren't forgiven or revealed to be good people—but that they just change.

[bluegiragi]

I hate to ask this cause it feels stupid but I dont wanna do a bunch of research on whatever the recent cod mw fandom discourse is,

but I saw the reblog of someone accusing you of supporting people who write sexualized pedophilia and that really is personally my only """"moral"""" with nsfw shit, (I'm a patreon subscriber and ig I just wanna know where my money's going) is THAT true?

i used to follow an artist who, 5-6 months ago made racist art featuring gaz and soap in a slave context, which I didn't like, retweet or interact with in any way. they also made under-age art of ghost soap, which I also didn't interact with . people on twitter called me out yesterday, for retweeting (months before this incident) other art they'd made as evidence I stood by/encouraged/was an avid fan of all these tropes. The art I retweeted wasn't either of these previous examples of art, but one where ghost and soap were sleeping in a bed together, as adults, peacefully. I can't emphasise enough that I have not interacted with this artist at all, for over six months. The callout in question has framed me as a close friend of theirs when, in truth, our total timeline of interactions could probably be counted on one hand, and I haven't interacted with her in so long that I genuinely forgot I was still following her.

The crux of all is this is that I did not unfollow + block this artist earlier on when the racist art was posted months ago, and then I retweeted a fic tagged with "non-con" (ghost gets soap off in a context where he can't really properly consent, they're in front of a crowd of strangers and they have to fuck, but both parties are into each other) written by a friend as I wanted to support their writing.

The pedophile claims are because I retweeted a fandom bingo post that defended loli-con without reading all the squares properly, and then immediately un-retweeted it when I properly read it. All in all, the post was on my account for maybe a few minutes.

The zoophile claims are because people say i support someone who wrote zoophilic fic and called people slurs, and I genuinely don't know who they're talking about there.

The anti-asian racism claims come from the original accusers in the callout thread thinking that I made Horangi's eyes in the monster!AU sensitive as a way of making fun of Asian eyes. The real reason is because he's a cat hybrid in that AU and cats are sensitive to light.

I tried addressing all this in a casual way earlier on in a misguided attempt to sort things out more 'civilly', and responded to an ask talking about my "support" for the artist who drew the slave Gaz art by saying the fanart in question was tone deaf and in poor taste. It wasn't enough for some people, so I'm happy to say it clearly- yes, it was racist, and the reason why I didn't want to be more aggressive is because I didn't want to extend all this mess by throwing this artist directly to the wolves - I genuinely believed them at the time when they said that wasn't that their intention, and think they should've deleted the post at the time, but not unfollowing was a decision that I made. I know now upon reflection that it was naive of me, unwarranted and frankly irresponsible to take a stranger at face value and believe they had good intentions, when the act of not deleting the post in question was evidence of a lack in remorse. In the moment, I'd thought back to my own personal experience with a friend of mine who used an asian slur in my company, who later sincerely apologised and legitimately cleaned up his act after I gave him a second chance. It informed my choice to not unfollow at the time, but there's a difference between someone you know irl for months and a stranger on the internet you've interacted with a few times. I shouldn't have coddled them in my response, and I'm sorry for not treating it with the severity it deserved. It was callous, and stupid, and indicative of internal biases that I ever thought it was a light enough offence to "see through", and I deeply deeply apologise. I promise from the bottom of my heart to do better.

That's everything so far. I didn't unfollow an artist when I absolutely should've, which i'll always strongly regret. I also retweeted a properly-tagged fic on my clearly 18+ nsfw account. I've undone both of those actions now. I hope this can be the end of it.

[banj0possum]

Alistair x (platonically) Teen Reader

In the fic he is like oh my god a bride, he walks in and instead of an adult..or a bride-

They find a teen, who literally threw a pebble at him, an angsty teen💀

I’m very happy to read ur fics and usually pair them with teen/child mc because I find it funny because they expect the love of their life

and teen mc standing there :🧍‍♂️

anyways sorry for the long request, luv ur writing, and ur art :D

Yandere! Evil King x Teen! GN! Reader

CW: platonic relationship, Alistair is a bit of a DILF so do with it as you will, Dads are hot you guys!! READER IS A MINOR.

👑 Who is this sassy lost child?

👑 His minions kidnapped you while you were on a carriage ride back to your kingdom.

👑 He was hoping for like a princess or something to marry and take over the kingdom with or whatever so like...what tf he gonna do with you???

👑 Clearly you were too young to be in a situation like this, but theres no way he's giving you back without a reward, so yes he still holds you for ransom.

👑 "Child, I am Alistair, King of-ACk!"

👑 Did...did you throw a pillow at him?!

👑 "How dare yo- AHK! Stop it!" another one..

👑 You refuse to listen to anything he says, you just wanted to go home

👑 You two had a bit of rivalry for a bit. He hated you and you hated him.

👑 He promised not to show any affection or care towards you since in his eyes, your actions didn't deserve it. How can someone be so rude to a king !?

👑 But he starts to notice you don't eat much. He never sees you in the dining hall and has only seen quick moments of you nibbling on some bread or pastries the servants gave you.

👑 He scoffed, so irresponsible! You must eat a proper meal right this second or you'll starve!

👑 You're surprised to see a meal prepared for you during your routine trip to get a snack from the pantry with a note on the plate.

👑 "Next time, ask for a proper meal. I don't want your parents to think I've been starving you. -Alistair P.S. go to bed early."

👑 Huh...

👑 Alistair smiled from the doorway of the dining hall, watching you eat up with a smile on your face. You might have been too scared of him to ask for food so you've been sneaking snacks while he wasn't looking.

👑 Of course he wasn't doing it because he cared about you, he just didn't want royalty like you to resort to such pathetic means to eat!

👑 Why are you still sad? Perhaps he should get you some things to keep your attention..

👑 He asks (threateningly may I add) about your hobbies or interests.

👑 The next morning your cell (which has been upgraded to a lovely room in the castle because he didn't want you to be filthy and gross in a dungeon) was filled with anything he could find that he thought you'd enjoy.

👑 Don't think he wants you to be happy! He's just tired of seeing you sulk everywhere!

👑 He denies everything, but you swear you could see a tiny smile on his face when you hugged him happily.

👑 You start being a little more open to him, showing him anything you've made or done with pride and he'd receive it gratefully, but he won't show it of course.

👑 "I made you this friendship bracelet!"

👑 "I've seen better jewelry."

👑 "Oh I'll take it back then I guess.."

👑 "No, it's mine now, back off."

👑 Drawings and the like that he said would be thrown out as soon as you left would be seen framed in his room

👑 It would be a..waste of good canvas..

👑 And of course he buys a few books of your choice for you to read, he'd be damned if your brain turns to mush.

👑 Bro bro he'd be the type to let you swing around while holding onto his bicep.

👑 If you ever have any problems, or come to him in a bad mood, he'd have no idea how to help other than to sit down and listen to your troubles.

👑 He's not the most physical when it comes to affection, but you bet your ass he's gonna do everything he can to cheer you up.

👑 At this point he's rewriting his demands for the ransom. Either your kingdom lets him sign some adoption papers or he's starting a war.