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lucifugousart · 1 year ago

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"DIO's Heaven" A jjba world building theory no one asked for that has been TORTURING me for years.

❗❗ SPOILERS FOR PARTS 1-6❗❗

OK LET'S GO "The Heaven pertaining the soul, WHERE it'll go." Tl;dr: Heaven is a place. Here's how:

We know that in the Jojo universe Hell and Heaven are equally talked about as a religious belief. In part 1 young Dio was sure his Father was going to end up in Hell for the atrocities he committed his whole life.

And again, in part 6 Dio specifies that the Heaven he talks about is where the human spirit will go after death. With the introduction of stands, the visual personification of souls, we clearly see this happen multiple times, especially the ascension to Heaven, where they'll finally find peace.

In part 5 we'll also see how, ironically, dying is the only way to escape the chains of Fate. The same Fate that has been object of both oppression AND obsession for Dio since his young age. He believed it was in his Destiny to accomplish his early goals, being Jojo also part of this bigger plan. Of course he was wrong.

Failing to realize how Jojo was the closest person to him (and how attached he was), this dumb man ends up killing him and then regretting the act. I don't wanna go too much in detail about it because we all have read the manga and perfectly know what happens, so, Dio just lost the most important person in his life and had 100 years to overthink about it at the bottom of the sea. Perhaps, taking jojo's body wasn't what Destiny meant for them as "being two that make one" and this dumb dumb can't go back in time. ...or can he? Let's proceed in order

All Dio wants is happiness (relatable, i know) that can only be found in Heaven. Why? We'll see this later, i wanna focus first on how to get there. Because as we said, Heaven is an actual place. But reaching it isn't very easy, especially if you're not dead. Also there's another MAIN issue: Dio isn't human. By rejecting his humanity through the stone mask he basically lost any little chance to ascend to Heaven, because believe it or not: vampires may have a soul, but they're damned. After death there's absolute nothing, no Hell either. Just this:

But Dio knew this well. His death was a temporary but necessary phase, he'll write about it in his journal (he simply wasn't expecting it to happen like THAT, sigh) and his plan is safe also thanks to an unexpected gift, a little trinket, that carries his consciousness and dna.

Let's recap Dio's instructions to get to Heaven:

-A trustworthy friend. “He must be someone who is not interested in political power, fame, wealth, or sexual desire, and who chooses the will of God before the law of humans.” I will talk about God a lot as ideal, but even if we have a tangible proof of saints existing in JJBA I still don’t wanna claim God’s existence as certain. We have Dio doubting it himself (“If God exists”) and sure there is a force ruling the events, but I have a quite different view on what this force actually is. Let’s continue;

-His stand, The World, and “courage”. “I must have the courage to destroy my Stand momentarily. As it disintegrates, my Stand will absorb the souls of the 36 sinners and will give birth to something utterly new.” -The souls of 36 humans who have sinned, “because those who havesinned harbor a strong power within.” It is said that we, humankind as a whole, are “sinners who need God’s grace” and that the true distinction between a bad person, worthy of going to Hell, and a good person, worthy of Heaven while being forgiven for their sins, resides in the ability to feel “regret” for their own actions. I believe the sinners being from the Green Dolphin street Prison’s lowest circle was providential: they’re all criminals who voluntarily rejected God, their soul already belongs to Hell. So why? There’s a deep symbolism in this.

The sinners are a reference to Dio’s past identity, the man who rejected humanity in favor of world domination (Actually not just that, but now it’s not the time for an in-depth analysis of Dio’s psyche). Such a person would never reach Heaven, right? Well, the key is in “regret”.

Exactly because Dio regretted his actions attaining Heaven it’s not impossible, just very difficult. We said he was gonna use the souls of sinners, but sinners go in the opposite direction, to Hell. So how is it possible? The trick is in the number: 36 has a double meaning. If we look at it mathematically, the sum of the integers from 1 to 36 is 666, the number of the Beast (and Dio was referred to as the Evil in opposition to the Good, with a name so contrasting to make everything even more interesting). On the other hand, 36 has also very positive meanings: the actual number of texts in Holy Scriptures is 36, it’s said that in every generation there are exactly 36 perfectly righteous people alive (we could easily also call them saints) and the world only continues to exist in their merit as they contain a spark of the Divine Light within them, that same light that first shone for 36 hours after its creation and before being replaced by the Sun… But most importantly, 36 has a meaning of rebirth. It’s two times 18, which carries the meaning of “life” (from the Hebrew letters that spell “chai”, meaning "living") so 36 translates into “two lives”. Thinking about it, it’s exactly what happens through the Green baby: Dio reincarnating as someone new, a new pure lifeform free from his sins, no more damned.

-The cryptic 14 phrases, engraved into The World, so that he couldn’t forget them. I believe these phrases carry Dio’s past but also his Future. Something that after his rebirth would let him not forget where he came from, but also remember where he’s going. Which is why they’re so important and spark a reaction in the Green Baby:

“Whatever is born will "awaken". It will show interest in the 14 words that my trusted friend will utter... My friend will trust me and I will become his "friend".” We’ll witness the first Gravity-induced fusion in the entire series, something that will become more familiar later in Jojolion.

-”Lastly, I need an appropriate location. North latitude, 28 degrees, 24 minutes, West longitude 80 degrees, 36 minutes. Go there and wait for the New Moon. That's when Heaven will come.” AND THIS, RIGHT HERE, IS WHERE WE START. The foundation of how Heaven, Gravity and Fate, Souls and Stands work in the Jojoverse. And also where things start being complicated. The best way to explain everything is starting from Pucci and his role in Dio's plan, then moving back to the first manifestation of Stands. As i said before, in PB the existence of God is in doubt because we don’t have any tangible proof, it's simply an idea sustained by faith. What if i tell you that God, as an actual figure, is actually a product of human actions and everything is governed by Gravity/Fate instead? We know that Dio and Pucci encounter was a product of Gravity, and so was their fusion: there's a reason why he tripped on him, of all people.

It's exact after this moment, when all left to do is "waiting for Heaven to come" that we get the first actual manifestation of the Divine: the recurrence of number 3.

Biblically, the number 3 represents Divine wholeness, completeness and perfection. If there ever was a desire to highlight an idea, thought, event or noteworthy figure for their prominence, the number 3 was used to put a Divine stamp of completion or fullfilment on the subject.

Now i'm not saying that Dio is God or became one (THAT would be interesting and i already valued the possibility some years ago), but seems like in the Jojoverse there's no room for coincidences and everything happens as planned by Destiny, so these 3 people being the sons of Dio and drawn to Pucci are exactly where they were meant to be. If God doesn't exist, this is still the proof of how Dio is getting closer to the ruling force of the Universe: Gravity. And through it, finally find happiness. So, we're waiting for Heaven and we have a very specific place where to go for make it happen. Cape Canaveral: the most optimal place to launch a rocket. But what does this have to do with Heaven? OH, MORE THAN YOU IMAGINE. Because it is a place. But i never said it was on Earth.

To understand our destination better, i wanna make a step back. Ecclesiastes 12:7 says “and the dust returns to the earth as it was, and the spirit returns to God who gave it.” We said we don’t have real evidence of God, but spirits DO go somewhere. Foo will say it clearly: the spirit/soul can’t stay on Earth for long, with the only exception of a sudden or tragic death, tying them to a specific place. In most cases, they have unfinished business as the deceased person does not accept the way in which they died (like Riemi or Kira and his father). But once this soul is freed, and if they're worthy, they all go in the same direction: up in the sky, welcomed by a very bright light.

Heaven is often described as the "highest place" and in the Scriptures, in both Hebrew (shamayim) and Greek (ouranos), it can be translated as "sky".

The first line of the Bible also states that Heaven is created along with the creation of the Earth (Genesis 1). SO. We're looking for a VERY bright something in the sky, created post Big Bang and as old as the entire Universe, which is also deeply subject to Gravity. I already have a very clear idea in mind, but let's also drag in the mix what Pucci knows: the World, a stand involved with the manipulation of TIME, was NECESSARY for reaching of the conditions to attain Heaven. Who's that pokemon? It's a Quasar!

An astronomical object of VERY high luminosity found in the centres of some galaxies and powered by gas spiraling at high velocity into an extremely large black hole. SO IS HEAVEN A QUASAR?!? Ahah no, but there, at its core, that's where our bus ticket is.

Quasars are some of the brightest objects known, able to outshine all the other stars and can be trillions of times brighter than the Sun. They were much more common when the universe was young, must have been able to form after the universe began to expand. But any simple one won't do, no. To find Heaven we must identify the first, oldest quasar in the Universe, which hosts a very peculiar and unique, primordial, supermassive black hole: the gate for true, unfettered happiness. I'll try to make this as simple as possible leaving out every superflous notion or math about general theory of relativity or we'll NEVER be able to get to the point. At the start i hinted to the possibility of going back in time. Yes and no, it's a bit more complicated than just press rewind but Pucci was right, it IS involved with attaining Heaven.

In astronomy, a black hole is a physical location of no return because Gravity is so strong that nothing -not even light- can escape. As you get closer to it, the flow of time slows down progressively to the extreme. From an outside viewpoint it's like time stops.

At its center, a black hole is thought to have a singularity point: a location where matter is compressed down to infinity and all conceptions of time and space completely break down. Some even call it "Reverse creation". But as we said, to reach Heaven we seek something way more specific.

As far as we know distant objects are seen as they existed in the past and quasars are the most distant and oldest that astronomers have been able to detect. The most distant quasars are seen at a time when the universe was one tenth its present age, roughly a billion years after the Big Bang. So we're not fully able to find our special primordial black hole, unless we have a way to get closer in a matter of time: Made in Heaven's ability to accelerate time to infinity through gravitational power manipulation will be providential in this. By moving back in time we get to reach and go over the Cosmic Microwave Background, a remnant from an early hot, opaque plasma stage post Big Bang and an evidence of it being the origin of the Universe, the beginning of time. We have zero knowledge of what's behind it as we can't observe it.

Assuming that Made in Heaven brings us there, what now? In the designed location, moving at infinite speed towards the singularity point of a black hole as old as the Universe itself, and with time SLOWING down once we meet the Singularity point, WHERE are we going? Incredibly, our answer can be found in the Book of the dead. In Ancient Egypt it was believed that the afterlife was a mirror image of life on Earth. Death was only a transition, not a completion, and opened the way to the possibility of eternal happiness. So let's consider this:

An entire universe behind a black hole, exactly like the one we know, but unaffected by the laws of Gravity as the Fate we know that keeps everyone in chains. Where a soul lives like any their normal life on Earth, but free to act outside any binary AND with the lack of the "Evil" that messed with their previous life, with the promise of a happy otherworldly existence. A chance of rebirth, staying true to yourself, but aware of mistakes you won't commit again. Now if this isn't Heaven i don't know what it is... It makes sense that through Made in Heaven only living organisms could reach such place, as the dead are already subject to the laws of Gravity in their predestined travel to either Hell or Heaven. But things got messed up by Pucci's intentions, as his stand ability is subject to his own belief, desires and psyche.

It is possible that "knowing your future in advace resulting in peace of mind and happiness" belief caused Pucci and Emporio to travel back in the course of Time jumping in a new world where destiny will repeat itself, hence the ability to see the nearest future as vision. And this is anywhere near to what truly Heaven is supposed to be. Happiness won't come from reviving your life exactly like it was (in fact the sole differences we spot are due the people that were already dead being replaced by their own version belonging to that world) but as we said it's the act of being FREE from the laws of Gravity. I believe this shift of intention is what caused Pucci's demise and Emporio's travel to a secondary parallel universe, hinting the existence of a multiverse where every world is connected to the others through the numerous black holes that reside in them. But neither of them would lead to the afterlife except for one. How much does this complicate things? Very.

Probably if Dio and Pucci were able to spend more time together, with Dio explaining better his view and belief, nothing of the canon timeline since before Pucci's death (his death included) would ever happen and everyone would be living their best life in Heaven. Or even better, if Dio were able to realize his plan before the events of part 3... (all the pain of SDC... gone, never existed. Sigh.)

Identifying Heaven as an Universe (including space and time, planets, stars, galaxies, all the forms of matter, energy, the souls of every creature and humanity) makes everything extremely interesting when we look at how the Jojoverse works.

Given that the gate for Heaven is a Quasar, it's known that sometimes they shoot out pairs of straight jets, containing matter moving close to the speed of light in a tight beam, to distances far beyond the galaxies they live in: how does this affect the worlds these beams reach?

For a start, we can assume that with Creation every living creature is born with a soul, that is shaped after the individual's choices, experience and psyche. In various religions it's attribuited to the Divine spark gifted by Gods. The references to light are so many that is difficult to call them a coincidence in a setting where "coincidence" isn't really something possible with Gravity's laws. Back to our matter escaped from Heaven, if it were to get in touch with a normal soul, we'd probably have an evolution reaction: natural born stand users.

I believe that the particles coming from Heaven, engaging with the soul that originated there, would trigger a violent reaction shaping the original soul into something more complex (and i would say dormant) that always belonged to the user. We'll learn with part 3 that not everyone has the spiritual strenght to bear this evolution, like when stands are induced later on. So are stand arrows involved too? The answer might surprise you.

Let's take a step back and move to the Poles, approximately 50k years ago, when a meteorite crash-landed on Earth around Cape York, Greenland and later on, in that same site, a misterious disease was found, leading to the creation of stand arrows 2to acquire the powers of Gods".

The fact everything happened at the poles is very relevant to this theory, especially a certain discovery. Let me introduce you to Neutrinos: a subatomic particle that is very similar to an electron, but has no electrical charge and a very small mass, it was almost believed they didn't have any at all. There are different types of neutrinos and they're the most abundant particles in the Universe, although very difficult to detect too. It is possible that a large fraction of the dark matter of the universe consists of primordial, Big Bang neutrinos.

The type that is relevant to us is high-energy cosmic neutrinos that are born in the CENTER of quasars, expulsed by jets and able to cross the Universe without interacting with matter and without any delays on their way. But at the Pole was found a particle that "shouldn't exist" shooting straight up out of the ice and seems to move straight back in direction of the quasar that originated it. Some scientists dared to call it "a ghost particle". Let's add this up to the evolution of the soul, the rules of Gravity and the guys that wanted to gain the power of a God: if the metallic material of the meteorite, infused with the ghost particle, were to come in contact with the organism where the souls resides... Did i already mention that they interact through Gravity?

Lastly, this whole system would give us a reasonable explanation for certain stand abilities, like Vanilla Ice's and Okuyasu's (being possibly connected to a black hole's singularity point, allowing them to destroy the matter they absorb with no turning back) or others, seen afterwards, capable to move objects or people through different dimensions and/or parallel worlds. Lastly, i wanna spend two words regarding Dio's resolve and why i firmly believe that he regretted his actions. Dio's a person who tends to live a lot in the past and lets it influence his future. I don't think though that his search for Happiness was meant for the whole humanity, like Pucci tried to achieve. Dio's wish was more selfish and limited to himself, perhaps to his trustworthy friend too, but nothing more. He sacrificed himself for something once, that didn't lead him to happyness as he might have thought at the start of Phantom Blood, but is ready to give up on everything a second time with no hesitation. No feelings of grandiosity or power, he recognized his mistakes and wanted to restart everything once again.

And maybe living a normal life for once. Who knows, maybe letting people be close to him without paranoid tendencies too... True, unfettered happines probably lies in the simplicity of conducting your life following your own decisions, and not Fate's. Or your abusive father's.

So this is Heaven. I know it's long, delirious at some traits and all, but i thought these corrispondences were neat and worth of being shared. So if you got till here and enjoyed it, thank you for your time!

#dio brando #dio jjba #Dio's heaven #Heaven jjba #Jjba #jojos bizarre adventure #manga theory #mothtalks #stone ocean #enrico pucci

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kairos-polaris · 11 months ago

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I've had a lot of thought about the chapter 236, the way Gojo's death was framed and handled. Now that my hopes for his return dwindle, I am getting around to putting them all in one place with manga panels for reference. I am only going to discuss the chapter in the context of character relationships and narrative wise, a lot of people smarter than me have already analyzed the Buddhist symbolism that hints at Gojo's resurrection.

There will be two parts, both operating under different asuumptions. First one takes the fact of Gojo's death at face value with no hope for his return. In contrast, the second part will be all about how 236 is a perfect set up for Satoru's recurrection. It requires a lot of trust in Gege's writing and planning ahead and as of now I don't have much faith but analysing the possibility of it was fun, so I am including it.

Part One or An Unsatisfaying Attempt At A Satisfying End

Right of the bat we can agree that the chapter is trying to really hard to sell that this is the satisfying ending for Gojo Satoru, him going out in a fight against the one who matches his power, dying without regrets.

Yet the chapter contradicts itself, the more I think of it the more it feels like it's trying to fool not just the readers, but Satoru himself into thinking he has no regrets. Just earlier he thinks about Megumi and not telling him about his dad.

Perhaps I am reading into this too much, but it feels like he is pushing those thoughts away to maintain the allusions of having no regrets. There is no mention of Sukuna possesing Megumi or anything about his students now having to face Sukuna in his stead. Ultimately he failed, not just in reaching Sukuna as Gojo says so himself but saving Megumi and protecting his students. He doesn't acknowledge it because in doing so he will admit he died with regrets.

This chapter is a pinnacle of focus on Satoru's selfishness, the separation between him and other sorcerers.

Haibara's words feel harsh (Satoru even looks upset) and while not entirely wrong, they aren't the full truth. Satoru cares and we have many proofes of it. The most obvious is him opening his domain for as little as possible to protect the people in Shibuya, him becoming a teacher and his desire to protect the youth of his students.

All of those examples focus only on Gojo Satoru, the strongest sorcerer. If you see only his strength, it is no wonder you think he only fights for the kick of it, that this death is fitting. It is a worthy end to the strongest sorcerer, finally having met his match.

Now, with the assumption of this chapter being truly the end for Gojo Satoru, there were ways to keep the focus on him not having any regrets while acknowledging his failures. Just have him say "I wish I could be there for them, but ultimately I know they do not need me. They are my students after all." But for now it feels like a cheap attempt to make it a good ending without actually putting in the work for it to be satisfying narratively wise. I would actually prefer an acknowledgement of Satoru's failures and how there was still so much he could do, both as the strongest and as a teacher. Unless....

Part Two or The Fitting End For The Strongest Sorcerer, Complete Ego Death, And Path To Enlightment.

A more hopeful conclusion I've made after hours of overthinking is the possibility of all of it being intentional. Losing to Sukuna is what will help Satoru reevaluate his own beliefs and how he views his relationships with others. Losing to Sukuna is Satoru also losing his title of the strongest and with it the mindset tied to it and the way people perceive it, as shown both by him and the people in the after life

Something I've concluded in the previous part is how the entire chapter is only about one aspect of Gojo's character, focus only on his strength. It is further supported by him being depicted as his teenage self, whose entire identity was built upon the fact that he is the strongest.

Everyone we see in the afterlife can be related back to Gojo's blue spring. Geto Suguru, his closest friend and his equal; Nanami Kento, his friend and ally, the one who followed his selfless ideals to the very end; Haibara Yu, admittedly we don't know much about his and Satoru's interactions, but we could theorize that it was his death that caused Satoru to want to protect the youth of young sorcerers; Yaga Masamichi, his teacher who he cares for. And then the three people who symbolized the shift in that mindset: Kuroi Misato, Amanai Riko and Fushiguro Toji. He failed to protect the former two, showing that he is not yet the strongest, and the fight with latter, that brings him on the verge of death, makes him stronger than before.

All of those people are in some way connected to Satoru but it is interesting that another character isn't there. Fushiguro Tsumiki*. It could be that she is just less important to him but I believe it is because he met her when his goals shifted towards those we see in the series. He already has a dream, to build a new jujutsu society for which he needs strong allies, which is why he takes Megumi in (Gege's words, not mine). That would also explain why Nobara and Megumi aren't there, even if I would like to believe it's because they aren't dead yet (Gege is allergic to confirming their status).

I would prefer a proper resurrection but Satoru returning through seance the way Toji did would not only be a call back to the parallels between them but also allow for him to truly let go of his regrets the way Toji did.

What I am trying to say in so many words is that I want to believe 236 symbolizes true ego death for Gojo Satoru, a change in mindset that will allow him to build authentic connections with the people around him when he comes back, him leaving his past and his regrets behind.

All of this requires for Gege to have any amout of care for the characters and writing skills so I doubt it would happen but it's a nice thing to think about. I am more inclined to believe that Gege messed up in their attempts to make Satoru's end satisfying and will continue believing. Unless Gojo actually comes back.

#long post #jujutsu kaisen #manga spoilers #jjk 236 #jjk 236 analysis #gojo satoru #dedicated to today's chapter's leaks #also all the s*kuna glazing was annoying but i get it :/#character analysis

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mrbensonmum · 2 months ago

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TV Show - The Fall of the House of Usher IV

Once again, we learn more about Roderick and Madeline's turbulent past. However, it quickly becomes clear that Roderick wasn’t always as strong as his older self. His early days at Fortunato were full of difficulties, and his sister advised him to submit to the system, even if it meant getting involved in illegal activities.

But this episode focuses mainly on Leo. He has moved in with his boyfriend, Julius, but we already know that Leo wasn’t ready to take him to the family gathering. It seems like, in a drug-induced state, Leo killed Julius’ black cat. So, he tries to find a replacement, and along the way, he too encounters Verna.

After a lot of drugs, broken drywall, and several seemingly dead small animals, Leo also ends up dead. That sounds simplistic, but Leo endures some serious psychological torment. It’s almost as if he’s driven mad, and he ultimately takes his own life, obsessed with the black cat on the balcony.

By now, it’s clear through the flashbacks and Verna’s repeated appearances before each child’s death that everything is connected. Something Madeline and Roderick did on New Year’s Eve in 1979 has had lasting consequences for the entire family.

What stands out to me is that Perry is the only one who doesn’t die from a hallucination or vision caused by Verna. While all the other children encounter Verna before their deaths, Perry dies as a result of the acid in the sprinkler system. Camille dies from a vision of Verna, who actually turns out to be the chimpanzee, and Leo dies chasing a vision of the black cat on the balcony railing.

These visions are obviously caused by Verna, and maybe I’m overthinking it, but I find this detail fascinating.

Roderick, plagued by unnecessary jump-scare-style shocks, increasingly sees his dead children. Sometimes it’s during the retelling of events, but often it happens while he’s talking to Auguste. And we keep seeing that open door, wondering what’s happening down in the basement.

There’s one more thing I want to highlight because it’s important to me, and this show sets a great example. Victorine and Leo both have same-sex partners, and Camille has sex with her two assistants. What I really love about the way the show handles this is that it doesn’t make a big deal out of it. Let me explain! The show doesn’t force it in your face, nor does it make any special mention or focus on it. It’s treated as completely normal, just like everything else, and I love that. I wish we could see much more of this in other series.

In my first post, I mentioned that not every episode centers on one of the Usher children, but now I realize that’s not entirely accurate. There’s a constant mix with the past of the Usher siblings and the rise of Fortunato, but we’re also getting more of the present. As the story refers back to the past, we can see that something terrible must have happened back then.

It’s clearer in the flashbacks, but even in the present, we’re constantly reminded that maybe Roderick is just a figurehead, and the real captain of the Usher/Fortunato ship is Madeline.

I also feel a growing urge to learn more about Edgar Allan Poe’s short stories. I think I’ll need to visit some bookstores in the coming days and see what I can find. The show continues to entertain and remains consistently thrilling! It was created by Mike Flanagan, and I think I’ve seen something from him before—The Haunting of Hill House, if I’m not mistaken. I liked that too, but after The Fall of the House of Usher, I’ll definitely check out more of his work. He also wrote and directed Gerald’s Game, and interestingly enough, the lead actors from that movie, Bruce Greenwood (Roderick) and Carla Gugino (Verna), are also in this series. I love it when directors and actors form a team, work well together, and then reappear in other productions.

#House of Usher #Edgar Allan Poe #The Fall of the House of Usher #Netflix #TVShow #TV Show #Carla Gugino #Bruce Greenwood #Mary McDonnell

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sapphire-weapon · 5 months ago

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Hi. As someone who really likes Ashley (and Eagleone) I obviously want her back. But having read your asks a few days back I kinda understand how that probably won't happen, having to keep a small cast so the focus stays on actually important characters (plus sadly is nowhere near as important or memorable as other one-off characters like Sheva, Billy or Carlos and even they don't have much prospect of returning). But still I let my delulu self have fun for a bit. And something stood out, and it's the conversation on the lift, right after the wrecking ball fight.

Ashley, for the first and only time in her existence, talked about her future after the game. And it is strange when a character discusses their future, because we as the audience will take that as foreshadowing of something about said charcter ultimately becoming true. But Ashley's not coming back; the devs are not gonna write her back into the games, right? So why, why choose that as the topic of their conversation? They really could've chosen something more casual, maybe keep their dialog as harmless and casual flirting that leaves no consequences to the future like they did in other sections of the game. But it had to be that. Why?

In 2021, ID gave Ashley a picture cameo after forgetting about her for 15+ years, with a more matured and beautiful (and less pixelated) image. 2 years later in 2023, RE4R came out with a new and improved version of Ashley, making her infinitely more likeable, and thus making people sadder that this is the only game they are gonna see her in. But in that same remake, she teased about becoming a US agent with Leon, fighting evil and whatnot. So is it ever possible that in the 2 years after RE4R we will hear from her again?

Is Ashley's reintroduction timeline just a coincidence? Yeah probably. But taking into account the nature of the conversation on the lift and this coincidence, it really really felt like I'm connecting dots. Will she come back? Not as a main charcater or anything, maybe just with Hunnigan-level of importance, but will she come back?

At the end of the day, I must admit I looked a bit too much into this. I just want to see her again, and I'm overthinking to make that seem more plausible. But I also really really want to hear your thoughts on this, on the foreshadowy conversation and timeline, on how Capcom went out of their way to make her lovable to the point of taking some of Ada's spotlight away. Can this be a preparation for an actual future role in the franchise, albeit small and insignificant?

And if you've seen that very AI looking RE 9 cover, who is that woman at Leon's side anyway. Her hair is light colored and her physique looked too small to be Jill's. And that hairstyle...ok I'll stop; that cover meant nothing and she's probably a new character. I just see Ashley everywhere now lol.

I'm gonna answer this backwards.

I'm assuming the AI lady is Jill just because of the leaks. But like. It's AI. So don't read too far into it.

Now, I'll admit that I always did find it weird that Ashley talking about becoming an agent is the single only unskippable "cutscene" dialogue in the entire game. You can even skip Leon and Luis's conversation on the elevator up to his death. But you cannot skip the one between Leon and Ashley on that lift after the wrecking ball.

But here's the thing.

One of the most important things that that German leaker, Andy, talked about was how RE games are made.

I talked about this a little already, but RE directors and producers are given free rein to write any story they want for the games, and they are in no way obligated to pick up where another team or game left off. He used Steve as an example -- no one was interested in bringing him back as a tyrant, so no one ever did.

But it wasn't just Steve. He also specifically mentioned that we will never see Sheva or Helena again -- because nobody in executive roles on the team cares about them. No one's going to go out of their way to bring them back. And they don't have to. No one's going to ever mandate it. That's not how these games work.

So the same kind of principle applies to Ashley. She'll only come back if someone wants her back. In this case, the likeliest candidates would be Hirabayashi or Kadoi, who both seemed particularly invested in her character for RE4make.

But, to our knowledge right now, both Hirabayashi and Kadoi are working on CVXR.

And RE9 started production before RE4make did. So there's no way she was planned for RE9. That wouldn't make any sense.

So this brings me back to my original point. She's not coming back in RE9. And if she's not coming back in RE9, she's not coming back. What would be the point of bringing back a character over 20 years later? Right at the end of the story, even?

They're not going to retroactively fit her into any remakes, either. Because she doesn't belong in them.

She's not coming back. She's just not.

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all-timepanic · 2 years ago

Text

I watched shazam fury of the gods yesterday and I have thoughts. It has bothered me all day so I need to leave this somewhere. So I guess here is my sort of review. But it is kinda rambly. Or something. Idk I just need to get it out. It also got a lot longer than I planned it to, sorry in advance.

Of course it wouldn't be as good as the first one. Sequels, especially from superhero movies, rarely are. (but maybe I'm just too much of an origin story fan for this as well) This sounds kinda negative, I know, but believe me, I liked this film. A lot, actually. But I'll probably leave out quite a few of the things I actually liked. The main focus is the "bad" stuff. Maybe someone agrees with some of these things. Maybe I'm just overthinking a fun, hero movie. Who knows.

It felt kind of... generic? I liked the first one for its humor. The characters were great, the villain seemed fun and they had fun with some superhero tropes. (+ i loved a lot of the way it was made, from the different shots, to the sets etc.,).

This one fell a little flat for me. Of course, it might be funnier once I get to watch it in english (I can only watch it in my native language here, sadly) but a lot of the jokes just felt like they are forcefully trying to reach the first one in levels of fun. (And don't get me wrong, I was laughing quite a bit as well, there were some HILARIOUS bits in there, but they didn't stick with me as much as some of the firsts ones, y'know?)

The plot kind of felt a bit more boring as well. Yeah, the entire "figuring out the new superpowers" isn't something you can repeat in a second movie, obviously. Instead it went with the kinda family/trust/fear of rejection angle which is nice. It is obviously something that effects Billy. I was excited to see this storyline followed through. But it kind of felt like the movie was just going through the motions? The movie obviously needed to go from point A to B to C but Billy's progression just felt very quick and forced. The speech from the wizard before the showdown didn't feel earned enough for me.

Like, plot angle they were going for was great. Of course everything Billy went through would change him and his behaviour. There is quite a lot of trauma there. And I know with the tone this movie has that is not something that will be unpacked completely. I just wish it was handled slightly differently? (I would have to think more about what bothered me about this, but it isn't handled the way I wish it would be considering it was the very first thing we heard about Billy in this film)

I also disliked how little we actually saw Billy as a teenager? I enjoy Zachary Levi's acting as much as the next person but let Asher Angel get at least some screentime? I don't know if it was because of scheduling or whatever but there were a lot of scenes where the characters didn't need to be in superhero form but they just sort of hung out in adult form.

And it is just a small moment but I still wanted to call it out, because stuff like this annoys me. When Pedro came out everyone answered that they already knew. I hate that. Yes, it was supposed to be a funny moment so of course it wasn't going to be a big, emotional thing and it doesn't need to be. But it always irks me when people "knew" beforehand. bc it always feels like they are saying "people always know before" or "don't feel proud of yourself for opening up, it's old news" (am I explaining this okay? It just diminishes it and if everyone already knows, why add this moment? Especially in this scene where no one would realistically bring the topic up?). Maybe it's not a big deal but imo it was not a good moment.

The biggest thing I hate though is the big, emotional death of a main character with a long scene of the character accepting their fate, grieving friends and family and a funeral (!) just for them to be revived without consequence? Not saying that this is the movie that needs to pull off such a dark twist but... why? It was a very nice emotional part of the movie but it ended up feeling cheap? Especially bc it felt like an excuse to push in a cameo last minute. (It was a nice callback to the fist ww scene, a sort of gotcha we actually have the actress here, but at what cost).

Like I said, I never expected Billy to die, he is THE title character after all and DC would never have the balls to do that. Especially in the 2. film. + they did push Freddy into a more active role, which I love, but especially Adam Brody wasn't built up in a way to take over the franchise, so I knew this would't happen. I was still disappointed. It always cheats the audience out of their emotions. We just wasted 10 minutes of emotional stakes just to be cheated out of the satisfying conclusion?

anyway, I also wanna mention a few things I liked before I leave:

Like I said, the humor was still nice. It felt familiar in a way. And the immaturity was what I expected and hoped for. It makes sense in this film + for the characters. I love the design of the lair. Of course they would bring a bunch of stupid stuff in there. It fit their personalities. (And making the wall in the back a climbing wall was fun, idk why but it was)

I loved Freddy. I liked his character in the first movie as well but I liked him even more here. He got a lot more stuff to do on his own, more screentime and more own struggles to deal with (there are a few things that aren't great but they aren't that big a problem for me)

The monster design was great. I am a sucker for greek mythology and for twists on well known creatures so this one kind of hit a soft spot for me. I liked the way the monsters looked, from the minotaurs to the harpies, and the unicorns were great. I like that they were the fearsome predator type animal in the bunch. and the dragon. I loved it so much. Yes, being made of wood IS sort of a design flaw but you cannot tell me that it didn't look epic. And the way the fear was incorporated into its abilities? Amazing (wish we could have seen more uses of it)

On a similar note the fight scenes were really fun. they played with a few nice ideas and incorporated the superpowers well. ( I especially thought Ana's power were nice to watch, although they weren't often used in direct conflict)

....so I guess that's it? Like I said in the beginning, I really enjoyed this movie but there were quite a few things that felt off, in a way? Maybe I'll feel differently after a rewatch but it just doesn't feel as comfortable as the first one, if that makes sense. It doesn't feel as tightly knit or as satisfying. It is still a fun movie to watch but idk. If anyone wants to discuss this feel free to reblog it and add on or whatever.

#shazam #shazam fury of the gods #shazam 2 #billy batson #I'm putting this on tumblr instead of a review page bc I don't wanna clean up this review xd

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loveandshatteredglass · 2 years ago

Note

Love the imagery in I would die for you but would you, can you elaborate on that a bit please? 🤗

I'm going through this line by line because I worked a lot with metaphors here and it actually is deeper than it sounds at first glance

The bullet through my head

Represents my sudden rushes of overthinking that felt like a shot in the head.

My brain spilling out on a silver plate

Represents the mental effort that went into trying to make things work, about which I tried to talk to him during and after the breakup that's figuratively my brain spilling out on a plate for him.

Bon appétit, my love

I hope it tastes sweet

I'm asking him to eat my brain as a sign of my devotion so he physically has a part of me in him and I care about the taste of it to make sure that what he's eating is delicious.

The knife impaling my heart

The breakup physically stung in my heart as if it had been stabbed and pulled out through the hole in my chest.

The blood I spit out into a wine glass

For my lover to drink

Another cannibalism reference; spitting out my blood into a fancy wine glass for him to drink for the same reasons as in the first verse.

I would die for you but would you?

I'm questioning if he would do the same for me as I would do for him. I feel like I was more devoted and committed to the relationship by doing everything in my power to save us, especially when things got hard towards the end. I would literally die for him, but I'm not sure he would too since he wouldn't even give us another chance.

When my final judgement day arrives

You will be the chief justice

You always see people twice in your life and here that second time will be a long time after we had parted ways, where he will have to make an impactful decision.

Imposing the death penalty

Despite having loved me in the past, he would show no mercy and sentence me to death, which, in a transferred sense, means he would still hurt me after all this time that had passed.

And for you I will happily take it

The golden thread through this poem: the willingness and almost eagerness to sacrifice myself for him because my love for him is stronger than the pain of anything he puts me through.

Burn me at the stake

A reference to the song Melissa by Mercyful Fate because it was a special song for me and my boyfriend. Maybe I would be burnt as a witch for seducing him or something.

And watch my skin turn into coal

A pictorial description of the burning process as a sign of my obvious suffering from his choices.

Is this what you wanted?

Are you enjoying the show?

The rhetorical question, both to make sure my suffering is pleasing enough for him and to give him a bad conscience. Of course he wanted this and must be enjoying the outcome because he himself made that decision, but I'm holding on to the small chance that he might realize what he had done, regret it and set me free.

When nothing is left of me

But my ashes and footprints of sin

Footprints of sin represent my own mistakes in the relationship that left a permanent mark, along with the ashes at the stake, which represent the wounds from my heartbreak and in a certain way how things went up in flames as the only option seemed to be a breakup without any attempt to save the relationship.

Will you ever think back to me

Or forget about the good times we had?

I wonder if when I'm not there anymore, he would ever think of me again and remember the many happy moments in our relationship or instead suppress those and focus on what had gone wrong in order to feed his bitterness and convince himself that he doesn't miss me and I don't mean as much to him as he means to me.

Maybe curse me even in death

Wish I had suffered more, died slower

I don't know how he feels about me at this point, so it's possible his resentment for me is so strong that he still wasn't satisfied with the way I suffered and wishes the torment had been even worse, longer and more painful.

Either way I don't care

For I'll sacrifice myself for your sake

What happens afterwards doesn't matter to me anymore because I would have the feeling that I had sacrificed myself for the person I love, even if he had broken my heart before.

#asks #about the poem

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everydaymonster · 2 years ago

Text

Based on the post above:

Henry stops washing the dishes for a moment. His hands actually pause mid-scrub and he stares down at the soapy water with unfocused eyes. It’s been a year, is all he can think, and he feels it more than anything. It’s a stone in his heart and a pit in his stomach and a shadow over the sun. A year ago, his life became heavier, hollower, and darker, and he hasn’t been the same since.

A soft sound from the living room draws Henry out of his head. He cautiously places the plate back in the water and listens hard for if the sound comes again. There it is: a sigh, the rustle of a page. His heart speeds up and he has to swallow back sudden fear. But he makes himself leave the kitchen and walk out to the dining room.

Standing in the arch between dining and living rooms, Henry sees a head of dirty blond hair just over the top of the recliner turned away from him. It’s turned mostly silver-white now, but there are traces of the color it once was threaded throughout. A sigh, a rustle. Is she breathing? Henry isn’t sure she still needs to breathe. He wonders if, like her hair, the person inside the body has changed. If there are any traces of Nora left, like the streaks of blond still in her hair. Or if she’s completely gone, obliterated by the grave.

And if so, what has Henry brought back.

“I can hear you overthinking,” Nora says, without turning her chair around to face him. Can she? She was always an empath, but... “Okay, stop that.” Now she does turn around, slowly, to glare at him. It’s a familiar motion that makes him feel a little better, the way her feet tip-tap-tip on the floor to spin her around bit by bit. It’s something the old Nora would do, before she died, before he desecrated his wife’s grave, god forgive him, how can she...

Nora stands up. She looks good for a dead woman. There are large, crude stitches running up and over her shoulder, and a length of flexible plastic piping running from her chest to the back of her neck, but those are the most obvious signs. Her skin is pale and a little mouldering, her eyes are filmy, and behind the clouds they blaze yellow instead of their former blue. But they focus on him and make Henry feel as if he’s the only one she sees, just as they did when she was alive.

Nora sighs. “This is going to be a whole thing, isn’t it,” she states, not really asking.

“Wha -what?” Henry says. He crosses his arms over his chest. He normally lets the girls run free after a long day, but he’s still got his binder on right now. He doesn’t want Nora to harbor any illusions about her husband - if that’s what he is - technically widower - doesn’t want to lie to her...

“You, me, the ‘What hath science wrought?!’“ Nora throws her hands up as she declaims this in a melodramatic tone straight out of a Boris Karloff movie.

Theater kid even beyond the grave. Henry actually laughs a little, which makes Nora smile.

“Go on, say it,” Nora insists. “Do the whole monologue, it’ll make you feel better hun.”

Hun. Henry’s actually tearing up. “Wh-what ha-ath sciene wr- wrought?” he says shakily. He smiles through his tears. “M-my god, what have I-I done? I’ve...” he trails off, overcome.

“What have you done, pulling me back from the tender embrace of death, snatching me away from hell itself? I am not natural, not human, and therefore I must... destroy!” Nora has crept closer, looming ominously over him, and with that last word she pounces. She seizes Henry by the arms, pulls him close, and kisses him gently.

It’s their first kiss since Henry brought her back to life. It’s not perfect. Nora smells kind of bad, like mildew and rot. Hopefully a few weeks back among the living will clear most of that up. If not... well, Henry was never a fan of Nora’s cigarettes either, but eventually he associated the smell with her and came to accept it, if not love it.

Nora’s always been a little bitey in their kisses. Colleagues think Henry chews his lips out of nerves, but the truth is it’s always been Nora. She sucks his lower lip into her mouth and nibbles on it. Henry can’t help a moan, and he can feel her grin. God, he’s getting turned on by his dead wife, he must be sick in the head or something.

A bop on the head, heavy enough to jar him out of his spiral. “None of that,” Nora murmurs, still so close. Her eyes are closed as she leans into him and Henry automatically wraps his arms around her. She fits there the same as she always has, head on his shoulder, sinking into him. Where they both belong.

“So, am I your wife still?” Nora asks, a little bit teasing, but he can hear the undercurrent of worry in her tone. He kisses her again.

“Yes,” he says. It’s the truth. It’s the only one he knows. But not the only one he needs. “Am - am I... I’ve changed too, I mean.”

Nora is silent for several minutes. Then: “You’re still mine,” she says in a growl. “We can figure the rest out. But... I would like to hear - if you’ll tell me - about while I was... away?”

Henry nods and Nora relaxes. They settle on the couch together, and Henry gathers his thoughts, trying to figure out how to explain what led to his decision not to let go, becoming a mad scientist, and resurrecting his wife.

the "came back wrong" trope except like... they didnt. like this mad scientists wife died, and so he studied necromancy, brought her back, and she came back and it all worked. like she came back exactly the same as she was before with literally no difference. but the scientist guy is like "oh no... what have i done.... shes Different now!!!! she came back Wrong!!!!" and shes just like. chilling. reading a book. cooking dinner. shes just so so normal but in the guys mind hes like "oh shes soooo weird" but shes just normal

#Everyday Monster #Henry and Nora #transmasc #cw body horror #cw death #writing #fiction

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riddikulus-writings · 5 months ago

Text

Born To Run

FRISAL; 3ABY

DAY 4; Early Morning

Cal decided that he should have picked any other cover. Sister. Cousin. Best friend’s wife. Even I don’t know this woman would’ve probably worked better.

Last night–

No.

Yesterday was weird.

He was beginning to have difficulties figuring out if Anaya was just getting into their cover, or legitimately flirting with him. Maybe he was reading too far into her soft touches, lingering glances and her extreme physical affections. Physical affections that got more brave the more she drank. Suddenly she always had to be touching him, and he knew from knowing her mother that that was one of the ways the Kesikki women showed affection but–

Fuck.

He was thinking too far into it. He had to be. Running her fingers through his hair, getting in his personal space for some reason or another, or simply just leaning on him just had to be a few of her many ways of showing that she liked having him around. Nothing bad was coming of any of it, and he knew she’d stop if he asked her.

He didn’t want her to.

Cal was liking the extra attention. But it was muddying his common sense. Like now, laying in the sand on the beach beside the docks. He in his swim trunks and another poorly-patterned, unbuttoned shirt and Anaya all but on top of him in her short-shorts and cropped sweater she had to cover her bikini.

She was really close to him.

It was welcomed because the foggy morning air had a bit of a bite to it, but he still wasn’t sure what she was playing at, “Naya.” she hummed from beneath her visor [lowered to cover her eyes] and Cal bumped his knee to hers, “Naya.”

Anaya pushed herself upright, adjusting her visor. Tightening her hair ties, “What, honey?”

He regarded her green stud earrings and her hair piled on top of her head with a quick glance, not really sure what he was actually grabbing her attention for, “Uhm. How are you feeling?”

“Feeling like I need a nap,” her mouth was forced into a yawn to drive her point home, “Bit of a headache from mixing beer and wine last night. Otherwise, I don’t think we’ll be in any danger of Javal trying to drown us. I can swim, can you?”

“Decently enough.”

She patted his thigh, dangerously high up on his leg, and let it rest there, “See, then we’re fine. Should we have brought the droids?”

He tried to ignore her hand placement before they had a different problem to deal with, and instead focused his eyes on how the fog hung low on the water, “No, it’s better to leave them home for this.”

“Is it so we can have some,” Cal pushed up onto his elbows, leaning over her, “Alone time?”

“It was so Javal didn’t try to kidnap either of them, but–” Anaya doing the same as him and brushing their noses together should not have surprised Cal, but it did. Not enough to make him move back. Her eyes were on his mouth as she spoke, “Do you want some alone time?”

No.

Say no.

Cal, say no.

The iron willpower of Jedi Cal Kesitis was deteriorating. He glanced at her lips before falling back into the sand, a puff of it flying as he landed. Cal tucked his left arm behind his head, “In due time.”

It both was and wasn’t a promise. He couldn’t – shouldn’t step into that territory. Not again. It still felt wrong, even after so many years of bending the Jedi Code to fit his new lifestyle. To pull another Kenobi, of all people, down that path would be wrong.

She’s never sworn the Jedi Code. She doesn’t adhere to it.

“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”

Cal reached for her and tugged her down beside him, tucking her into his side; her head on his collarbone, an arm slung over his chest, “Nothin’.”

Anaya looked up at him with one raised eyebrow, “I know that nothin’. I say it all the time to mom, and mom said it all the time to dad. You’re overthinking about something.”

“I am,” it felt so natural for Cal to bury his nose in her hair, “I’ll overthink with you later. We need to focus today.”

“Laser-focus, lest we be cocktail’d to death by the Imps.”

Cal squeezed her shoulder, “You’re not funny.”

“I’m funny lookin’, though,” Anaya gave one dry laugh at her own joke, and peeled herself from Cal’s side. She hummed and removed her sunglasses, folding them into the collar of her sweater before standing and brushing the sand from her butt, “C’mon, I think I hear an obnoxiously-sized boat moving through the water. Must be Javal.”

Obnoxiously sized was almost an understatement. Cal, obviously, has not seen very many boats – fancy or practical – but the one coasting up to the docks was extremely spacious, an open cabin on the top deck and dimly-lit windows signaling that below deck had a cabin and at least…

Cal counted under his breath as they got onto the dock and began walking down it, “Onetwothreefourfive fuckin’ rooms?”

“They better have a good cocktail bar,” Anaya was grinning ear to ear. Her excitement was palpable in the way she was almost dragging Cal towards the water’s edge.

“Honey, slow down!” his protest bubbled out in a laugh as he began stumbling, his feet still not used to the sandals that Anaya had bought him.

The sun was just beginning to peek through the clouds, and Anaya looked even more beautiful bathed in the soft morning sun as she stopped at the end of the dock and grinned back at him, “Keep up, slow poke.”

“The sun was in my eyes,” he protested quietly, tugging her into him so he could hold her by the waist.

They had to play the part, afterall.

[That was Cal’s excuse].

Anaya tugged Cal’s sunglasses from the top of his head and slid them onto his face as Kolphi stopped the boat and stepped out from the driver’s cabin, “Good morning, you two!” He stepped onto the dock beside them, dressed in an outfit similar to Cal’s again [Cal was beginning to think Anaya was purposely dressing him like a local vacationer], “If at any point you two would like to get off and head home, do not be afraid to let me know. Any time spent with new friends is a good time, even if it is short.”

Anaya pulled away from Cal, keeping her hand in his, and turned to fully face Kolphi, “Will do, thank you Kolphi. And thank you again for inviting us along with you guys, today.”

Kolphi opened his arms and embraced Anaya in a one-armed hug, “It’s our pleasure. Now come, you two have to meet my family.”

#cal kestis x oc #Cal Kestis #Star Wars #jedi: survivor #jedi fallen order

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inklore · 2 years ago

Text

of the essence

premise: working alongside tangerine to retrieve something as minuscule as a briefcase should be easy–would–have been easy if there wasn’t history between the two of you and you weren’t at each others necks or annoyed senseless by his need to be right, or your need to have him inside of you.

pairing: tangerine x f!assassin!reader

word count: 2.9k

warnings: eighteen+ content, unprotected sex, creampie, enemies who are partners who aren’t really enemies but are definitely lovers, tangerine has a big dick this is canon, cocky behavior, banter, public sex (unrealistic dicking in those tight ass train seats), dirty talk, pet names, spanking, mentions of violence and death.

etc: ya girl has booked a one way ticket on the tangerine slut train! sorry i’m late to the ride but i’m here now and i hope you enjoy this!

i do not give anyone permission to translate or repost my work, please be respectful — if you enjoyed please comment or reblog!

It was foolish of you to think that there would be any civility between the two of you, that you could actually do this job in peace without him getting on your nerves or you grating at his. “It’s just a quick grab and go, no big deal” your boss had said, and as it always goes that was too good to be true.

“Tangerine will also be there..” she had trailed off after you had accepted, after you had put your eggs into one basket and already started with a game plan; upon hearing the rest of her words you were smashing said eggs with the bottom of your boot in irritation.

The want—need—to deny the job. To tell her to pick someone else because the thought of being near said fruit with a beautiful mustache was not only frustratingly distracting, but the two of you couldn't stand each other.

Not after too many nights spent in tangled sheets and the constant head butting and one-upping the two of you always did—putting your team at risk all because the two of you refused to agree on anything.

But you needed the work, sitting idle for too long made you overthink, made your skin crawl and impulsiveness kick in to the point of destructive behavior.

So as amazing as saying no to this job sounded, you couldn’t afford it.

Thus how you’ve ended up here; in a silent train car across from the one person you’d kill not see again. Trying not to put your nails into his eye sockets from how he’s looking at you and the snarky comments that never seem to end, flowing like an overbearing stream from his mouth.

The more he talked the more your blood boiled. The more your eyes stared at his mouth. The more you thought of events from the past that needed to stay there. Not bombard your brainstem with ideas that had no business being there at a time like this; thoughts that make you think ‘what's the worst that can happen?’

This. This is the worst that can happen.

“Where’s the new bloke?” Tangerine’s head turns to the side, a ghost of a smirk pulling at one corner of his mouth. The roll of your eyes making that annoying expression spread to an even more annoying grin.

“Couldn’t cut it.” You say passively, grip the book in your hand that you pathetically thought you’d actually be able to read—to be distracted by.

He hums, fingers tapping on the armrest of his seat.

“Couldn’t keep up with ya?”

“Can anyone?”

“Not without effort,” his eyes move in a sweeping motion from your feet to your face. Slow. agonizing to your insides. Annoying. “That’s for certain.”

“Thanks.” You scowl, grumbling under your breath. Bring the book up to your face, try to read any of the words on the page without focus.

“I meant no disrespect.”

“That’s shocking, feeling under the weather today?”

An airy chuckle leaves his lungs and goes straight to the bottom of your stomach. You try to ignore how you can feel him shift in his seat. How you know he’s pulling at his navy suit, making himself more comfortable. Manspreading his legs to the point where there’s no more room between your knees and his. One of his lengthy legs pressed into your inner thigh.

You should have sat in Lemon’s seat when he got up.

Fuck.

“Still can’t take a compliment I see.”

“Still don’t know what a compliment actually is, I see.” You mock, can feel the edge of the paperback digging into your palm to the point of one little bump of the train and you know a paper cut is bound to happen. The bouncing of one of your legs starts, the deep shallow breaths, all signs of your irritation getting ready to bring itself to the forefront. Cause a scene that needed to be avoided right now.

“It was a compliment.”

“A backhanded one.”

You know he’s the one rolling his eyes now by the puff of frustrated air he lets out from behind the book.

And maybe most of this irritation was coming from the fact that he was right. Your last partner was a fool. An incompetent one. Where, yes Tangerine was a fool, more often than not, but he was at least competent and good at his job. The partner you had been assigned didn’t know the difference between a glock and a rifle, an ass from its cheek—he was the definition of new blood, sour blood, a trainee without a clue which is how he ended up in a shallow grave. A welcome blessing to you when a bullet pierced through his chest cavity.

But not everyone was Tangerine.

The two of you may not play nicely while working together but he was damn good at his job and the two of you always got the job done and on time. Even if Lemon screamed at the two of you to stop bickering for half of it.

The reasons why the two of you shouldn’t work together was better than you getting saddled with another idiot.

Annoyance and attraction aside, Tangerine was damn good at his job—too good most times and you’d choose this back and forth over the latter always. Because even through his cocky-knowing-remarks and that annoying raise of his brows he always did that sparked some fuel in your lower belly when the two of you would bicker over right wrong, left right, up down; he had your back, you could trust him not to put a bullet in it or get himself killed.

“Were you the one who shot a bullet in that poor bloke's heart?” The tip of his pointer presses itself into the top crease of your book, pulling it down to reveal his grin. “You can be candid with me,” his lips twitch cockily. “I won’t tell a soul if you got a little homesick for me and had to do it to reunite us, promise.”

You flick his hand away, “as if.” Your mouth falling open to make a show of your gag of disgust, “it would have been a justice for me to put him out of his misery. But now I’m wishing the bullet had changed directory and hit me instead. I’m the one who really needs to be put out of their misery.”

“Oh,” he clicks his tongue. Lips turning down into a frown, “you’ve missed me. You can’t deny it.”

“Deny.”

“You wouldn’t have taken the job if you didn’t.”

“I needed the money. Eating is a wonderful thing.”

“So is our time spent together.” Just as the words slip out you can feel his knee press further into your thigh. See his back slink just a little lower into his seat as he does so. Eyes cast down to where the heat from his knee and your thigh is causing your nerves to clench up—to go haywire.

“It’s a waste of time.”

“I’d have to disagree.”

“Would think there was something wrong if you didn’t.”

Before you can pretend to read the next sentence from your book, before you realize he’s reaching out for it, he snatches it from your grip and tosses it in the seat next to him with ease—leisure—as he scoots forward, his knee following suit and pressing itself at your covered center. The intake of breath that fills your lungs at the swift friction as he does so frustrates you for a different, more dangerous, reason.

The back of his palm wrapping itself around the back of your neck to bring you forward with him, nose to nose. Your scowl deep and threatening.

“From what I remember correctly, you didn’t think it was a waste of time to have my cock inside of you the last time we found ourselves partnered up.”

“Things change. I got smarter.”

“Oh you’re already smart, love. We know it’s not that.”

“Fuck off.” You try to pull yourself from his hold but the more you tug the tighter his grip becomes, and the more your insides melt and make your underwear slick.

“As much as I love this little game of ours, time is of the essence. I’d love to have you riled up and holding a knife to my throat but we’re on a tight schedule.” With more added pressure he has your lips centimeters from his, the warm puffs from his breath and deep rumble of his accent making your mouth buzz and draw in like a moth to a flame.

Except this flame is annoyingly addicting—to his mouth and that annoying knockoff pornstache above it, that golden chain that makes your mouth water at the remembrance of it dangling over your face when his weight is on top of yours—and always leaves you in a bigger mess than you started with.

But it’s a flame you clearly aren’t strong enough to turn from.

Because when he says, “We have about thirty minutes before Lemon comes back, before the train stops and people fill the car. So stop being a brat and take what we both know you want.” Your insides go from melting to liquid lava that seeps down to your core and singes your pussy until it’s throbbing—and denying the reality of it would be as idiotic as what you do next:

Wasting no time in climbing into Tangerine’s lap, the huffs of frustration and growls mixing together as your mouths come together and teeth sink into lips, bites turn into tears, and nails dig into clothes until you can only feel skin underneath the beds of them.

His mouth is all over your neck—fingers having already torn at the button up and tossed it to the dirty floor, your bra torn and beside it—tongue running along your collarbone to the column of sensitive flesh that he sinks his teeth into. The friction of his mustache leaves a burning trail along the way. Making your head fall back and breasts press to his chest.

His fingers make quick work of the mechanics of your jeans, helping you maneuver out of them in a way that takes little effort and keeps you pressed to him; keeps your fingers in his hair tugging and pulling, keeps you rocking against his hardness that presses full and thick against his slacks. His mouth still on your skin, refusing to let go.

When his pointer loops itself into the crotch of your panties to pull them to the side, his knuckle pushing into your wet folds and moving along your aching clit, a hum of approval is kissed against your chest.

Tangerine’s chin digging into the top of your breast as he looks up at you with a smirk that only makes you whimper now, “knew you missed me.”

“Shut up.” You want it to sound meaner, argumentative, but it slips out attached to a moan as his knuckle presses circles against your clit. Your legs shaking around him. Nails digging into his scalp. “If I admit it will you fuck me already?”

“You know I’ll give you anything you want, you need only ask, love.” The grin on his lips before he presses them to yours in a rough kiss of passion, and lust that burns so deep you don’t remember where or how it began; makes something ethereal swoop in your stomach. Makes your fingers move faster than lightning to unbutton his slacks, his large arm holding your back tightly as he lifts up to pull himself out.

To have his cock on full display and in his palm. His large hand looking small compared to the thickness of length, of how heavy he looks and feels. A low groan slipping from his parted lips, “love when you watch me. But-”

“Time is of the essence.” You repeat his earlier words, don’t think twice in moving his hand away and grabbing his warm shaft in yours. Lining it up at your entrance and sinking down on—too fast, too quick—his thickness opening you with a burning stretch that has you swallowing down a hiss, eyes clenched, body bowing forward, head pressed against his.

A simultaneous “fuck” leaving the both of you.

“Missed you.” You breathe, give yourself a minute to acquaint yourself with his size again. To remember how it feels to be so full.

“Would think there was something wrong if you didn’t.” He repeats you this time, your matching smirks molded together by lips and tongue as he takes your mouth. Kissing you like he fucking invited the act.

And then you’re moving, your hips gyrating back and forth as Tangerine’s palms at your ass guide you. A too slow of a pace set by him wanting to savor the moment, but only makes you want him more. The slow gyrate soon turns into you bouncing on his cock, your cunt making an obnoxiously wet squelch each time you drag it up and down his length.

The train car filling with sounds of skin, breaths, and moans as you ride him. As he slaps your ass, as he bites at the top of your breast. His hair falling out of place and over his eyes. Your body ablaze. Marks dug into the side of his neck, bruises littering your hips, chest and chin rubbed raw from his stache. The two of you getting completely lost in each other, forgetting everything but this; the mission, the arguments, the tension, the frustration coming out, seeping through, finding a home in the way you fuck, kiss, are annoyingly addicted to the fire that burns between you.

That gets harder and harder to ignore the more time spent apart. The more time you force yourself to hate him when your insides are telling you to shut up and fuck him.

Each moan you let out, the next louder than the last, Tangerine swallows down. Sucks down with how he plays with your tongue—bites down with the sweet nips he gives your lower lip.

“Forgot how pretty you sound,” he grunts against your chin. “And how fucking beautiful these things are.” His palm engulfs your left breast to squeeze and pull the nipple in between his swollen lips.

“Fuck,” you hiss. Look down to watch his half lidded eyes stare up at you, to watch the bruises he sucks onto your supple flesh. That perfect strand of hair falling over one of his eyes to make him look even more like a sexy-tortuous-asshole. “Forgot how much you talked during this.”

“Forgot how much you liked hearing it.”

You begin to shake your head, a retort ready at the tip of your tongue, a loud “ahh” replacing it as he delivers a hard bite to your nipple.

“You can lie to anyone you need to. Just not me.” Your breast feels like it's on fire, the trail of saliva he leaves behind doing little to cool the burning flesh. “I see you.” He grunts against your chest, your neck, the apex of your jaw.

“Yeah?” You swallow down a moan, nails like talons dug into the concrete of his shoulder. “What do you see?”

“A strong,” his hips thrust up, shocking you forward. Smooshing your chest to the open skin of his blue dress shirt, his skin just as hot as yours. “Powerful,” another thrust. “Woman,” another. “Who wields a knife just as good as she takes a cock.”

A chuckle breaks through your string of moans, rattling your shaking chest. “You really need to work on your compliments.”

“Am I wrong?”

You hum, whimper when you feel the pad of his thumb bring itself against your clit. “No,” you shake your head. “Never wrong. Annoyingly.” You add the last part like a gospel of truth. A truth you’d forever hate and love on the same string that has you about to come on his cock.

“There’s my smart girl.”

You hate how those stupid words make you clench around him, how they make you moan and move faster against him. How your legs start to shake, fingers digging deeper into the meat of his shoulders.

How when you both finish it’s at the same time, perfectly insync, your bodies working together, wordlessly proving how well the two of you are together—in so many irritating ways.

Once the two of you start to breathe normally and you feel the train come to a slow stop, you’re standing, righting your clothes in the reflection of the windows and going back to normal. As if it never happened.

The way it should be.

The way it always goes.

That look of irritation trying to cover the sex-flush your skin still has, as you bend down to grab your book he had tossed earlier. Tangerine’s wrist coming to wrap around yours to pull you to his chest, you think it’s some after sex sweetness he’s showing—it wouldn't be the first time—but then you hear Lemon’s voice and feel him brush past you and something inside you deflates a little.

The tiniest bit.

But Tangerine, being the suave asshole that he is, doesn’t let that deflation stay flat for long. “If time wasn’t of the essence I would have made you come three more times on my cock. Since you like to disappear on me, I need to take all I can get from you.”

“What? Do trains no longer have bathrooms?”

His chuckle makes the slightest of smirks spread across your teasing face, “ooh, this time I’m going to make you work for it. Beg me.”

“That’ll be the day.” You snort, pulling yourself from his grip with ease as you sit back down in your seat. Ignoring the feeling of exhilaration you get from his come leaking from you and staining your underwear.

“Or the next,” he looks at his watch, shrugs and fixes his suit as he sits across from you, “hour. Give or take.”

Game on.

#tangerine smut #tangerine x reader #tangerine x you #tangerine x fem!reader #tangerine x y/n #tangerine imagine #tangerine one shot #bullet train smut #tangerine fic #aaron taylor johnson smut #tangerine x f!reader #bullet train fic #tangerine #bullet train #aaron taylor johnson

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peculiarxafternoon · 2 years ago

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pile 1 pile 2 pile 3

𝙥𝙖𝙘: 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙧𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙞𝙛𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜

hello! this is my first pick a card reading and I'm so excited but also so nervous?!?!? i have read for friends and family before though, and i have been into tarot for about 3-4 years, however this is a general reading! so if the message doesn't apply to you, let it fly~

this reading is about what you're manifesting with your current energy, or a confirmation on whether what you've been manifesting is coming into fruition soon. take a deep breath and focus on your manifestation. then, pick a pile intuitively.

! for entertainment purposes only !

! constructive criticism and feedback are welcome !

! decks used: rider waite tarot deck, mermaid tarot, astrological oracle cards !

pile 1

(cards: the lovers, the star, the tower rx, judgement, temperance, seven of cups, five of wands, two of cups, knight of pentacles rx, the magician, luna, saturnus)

hello pile 1! right off the bat, your reading is very intense! you have an abundance of major arcana cards, so i can't lie to you, i think your manifestation is near to being complete!

i see that you could have had a rough time recently, when it comes to believing in yourself and your abilities, especially your manifestation skills. some inner turmoil here, some control issues there. you have that go getter energy inside you, though! i can tell that you don't back down when you want something. still you're quite emotional deep down. that's okay, that's your strength. don't be afraid to be vulnerable.

in fact, coming in touch with your manifestation in the 3d demands you be vulnerable. you need to find balance between the nurturer and the provider, the feminine and the masculine inside you. that could sound like a whole lot of work, but you have such a loving spiritual team behind you. they feel so prideful in your behalf, for everything you have achieved and everything you're going to have soon.

with the lovers and the two of cups here, i do see that it could involve a romantic connection. you have a lot of offers coming at you, or there could be more that one person in your mind. if this is not about romance, i do see you collaborating beautifully with somebody on your job or hobby. it feels like finally finding your dance partner, I'm so excited for you!

with the opportunities coming up, you might feel like everything is moving too fast, and the choices are too many for you to decide with a clear mind. fear not, because i see you stepping into that power of yours and cutting off (quite literally) any person or situation that doesn't serve you. don't wreck your mind worrying over the details and enjoy the ride to your manifestation.

possible time frames i see for you are cancer or capricorn season, or when the moon is in capricorn next. alternatively, when the sun is in the sign of your moon or saturn placement (ex. saturn in aries, so aries season).

lastly, i can not stress enough how good you are at manifesting. like i was about to end your reading and i saw the magician staring right into my soul so i had to come back lmaoo. you need to believe in that wholeheartedly, and understand that you are the universe, and you can achieve anything <3

potential placements: saturn or moon dominant, capricorn, aquarius or cancer in the big 3, earth and fire signs.

thank you for reading <3

pile 2

(cards: eight of swords, king of wands rx, seven of wands, the chariot, death rx, the magician, nine of cups, the lovers, king of pentacles, king of cups, death, capricorn, aries)

hello pile 2! don't tell the other piles, but i actually pulled some extra cards for you lol. i see you are currently in a situation where you feel a bit trapped inside your head. maybe a big decision is coming up and you can't help but overthink every possible outcome, or you haven't been speaking kindly to yourself. it looks like you have kinda lost your spark in some ways.

the thing is, you have such a beautiful imagination. i can see you imagining several versions of your future, each more fruitful than the next. you have the power to manifest them all, too! however, i believe you have been too distanced from those abilities, or you seem to believe that unless something else happens or comes to an end, you won't be able to move forward.

but you have already been through enough, pile 2! i feel like you've been bending over backwards for people, changing situations and even yourself to cater to their wants or needs. you are forgetting your power, your work, your status! you're not here to serve people who don't appreciate your efforts. you're here to create your own path, and march forward towards it.

you've been cold for too long, stopping yourself from achieving all that you desire. you also seem quite stubborn, and set in your ways. i think you're- subconsciously or not- manifesting a new, more powerful version of yourself who allows change, and who feels in control even within the chaos.

it's time for you to decide what it is that makes your heart happy, and feels like home. go get that! your energy felt quite blocked, like you're protecting yourself from getting hurt. i feel your spirit guides are also being firm in sharing information about your situation, but that's okay. it feels like a family matter mostly. maybe some of you are reaching adulthood soon, or moving out. i hope everything goes smoothly with that, if that's the case <3

possible time frames i see for you are aries or capricorn season, fall and winter. it could also be when the moon is in capricorn or aries next.

potential placements: capricorn or aries in the big 3, mars in capricorn, saturn in aries, virgo and water signs

thank you for reading <3

pile 3

(cards: ace of wands, queen of cups, five of cups rx, pace of cups rx, the lovers, ace of swords rx, strength, page of cups rx, queen of swords, sol, saturnus)

hello pile 3! i feel like you guys have the lightest energy in this reading. like, the cards were popping out like crazy, and i felt super giddy while shuffling. your aura could also be green or yellow.

i see a new beginning coming fast for you guys. it's about something you have been putting a lot of thought into (and, honestly, borderline gave up on), but i see it coming over to turn your world upside down, quite literally.

that is because you have been taking care of yourself, your feelings and thoughts. and this manifestation is so important for you because you have tried to get to it numerous times in the past. however, the only thing stopping you was your ego. i sense a childish mindset, and some jealousy. the "if i can't have it, why can they?" mentality.

you have matured, though! learnt how to see life objectively, figured out your values, and though you may feel like you have a long ways to go, it's your feeling satisfied with what you already have that is bringing this manifestation to you. you're stronger now, and you can handle its highs and lows.

for some, it could be a dream job you have been wanting since childhood, or a job/position that felt unattainable because of how rare or special it is. for others, something to do with art, performing, or management. i see you working hard on this, though, putting in the effort and rising up the ranks quite fast cause of your discipline and self control.

also, you could have a counterpart helping you get there. could be a mentor, a friend, a lover, someone you feel connected to. you could probably need a partner to get this opportunity, or the opportunity itself needs you to work with people, too. either way, you're going to find that communication with this person is great, and they may even be a soulmate of yours!

it may feel like it's too late, but saturn, and especially cronus, his greek counterpart, were the titans of time. this is the correct time, the correct moment, so don't doubt it and seize the opportunity coming towards you <3

possible time frames i see for you are leo or capricorn season, when the sun is in the sign of your sun or saturn (ex. sun in libra, so libra season), august and december.

potential placements: leo, aquarius or capricorn in the big 3, sun or saturn dominant, saturn in leo, gemini, water signs.

thank you for reading <3

! don't copy or repost my work !

#pick a card #pac #tarot #tarot reading #pick a pile #astrology #manifestation #kpop #ateez #san #{�� pick a card 🌱}

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babygirlwolverine · 3 years ago

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The 5 Senses of Longing

This fic is a gift for @stanforderadean as part of my gift exchange celebration!

Also posted on ao3.

Word Count: 7,463 (Continued under the Read More)

Dean rapped his knuckles on the wood door, pausing for a second before nudging it open with his shoulder. Cas was lying on the bed in his room, propped up against the headboard with a book in his lap, and Dean was once again hit with the startling recollection that Cas actually needed to sleep now that he didn’t have his Grace. Somehow it was endearing to see Cas this way; curled up under the covers and rubbing sleep from his eyes.

But wasn't that the point of this? The whole reason Dean had come knocking on Cas' door in the first place. Because Cas had been without his powers for months now, and also because they were in a lull with finding Metatron and killing Abbadon. What they needed was a little break. And even though they were dealing with more shit than ever before, Dean yearned to slow things down around them for just a couple of days to show Cas some of the good things about being human.

Dean had been the one to suggest the idea casually to Sam, and with Ezekiel healing him slowly, it was best for Sam to stay at the Bunker and rest. Which gave Dean the perfect opportunity. Now the only thing to do was to bring the idea to Cas.

“Hey, buddy,” Dean said, hovering in the doorway. “Mind if I come in?”

Cas smiled, lowering his book and closing it with a quiet thump. “Not at all,” he said, gesturing for Dean to enter the room. “Did something happen?” he asked, smile shifting into something more alert as he pushed himself further up in the bed.

“No, no, nothing happened,” Dean quickly reassured, taking a couple steps closer before hesitating at the foot of the bed. Should he sit on the bed? Should he pull up a chair? Should he just stand there? Why was he overthinking this? God, he really needed to get these bubbling feelings under control before he opened his mouth and said something he shouldn’t. “I was uh. Actually wondering if you were busy?”

Cas blinked a couple times, tilting his head and squinting up at Dean in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I thought we could go on a little road trip. Just you and me for a couple of days. Wanted to show you a few things now that you’re sorta human,” Dean said.

“A road trip? Don’t we do that all the time?” Cas asked.

Dean grinned, nudging Cas’ leg with his knee as he plopped himself down on the edge of the bed. “Well, yeah. But this isn’t gonna be a road trip for a case. There’s a couple of spots around here that you’ve got to experience. Sights and smells you haven’t seen yet. Oh, and the best stack of pancakes you’ll ever eat. You’ve just gotta trust me.”

Something soft and affectionate sparked through Cas’ eyes before he nodded. “Best pancakes I’ll ever eat? Is that so?” he teased.

All the nerves that had been lurching in Dean’s stomach settled all at once, and he shoved at Cas’ leg again. Yeah. This he could do. Their usual playful antics that he enjoyed so much. He didn’t need to think about that little spark that was twining around his heart at the way Cas had just smiled at him.

“Just you wait. Now that you’ve got taste buds, I’m gonna make you try every single food I can get my hands on. I will find every single thing you enjoy eating, mark my words,” Dean said lightly, hauling himself up from the bed. “Twenty minutes. Get your ass moving and meet me at the car.”

Cas laughed, free and happy, and Dean’s heart lurched in his chest. Oh, he was going to do everything he could over the next two days just to hear that sound again.

Dean had just reached the door when Cas called out to him.

“Hey, Dean?”

Dean turned, hand on the doorknob as he looked back at Cas. “Yeah?”

“Thank you,” Cas said, smiling so warmly that it made Dean feel momentarily weak in the knees. Oh God. If Cas kept smiling at him like that, Dean was going to do something he regretted, like kiss Cas stupid until he could feel that smile against his own lips.

“Yeah, of course. Twenty minutes. Don’t be late,” Dean said, flashing Cas a quick smile before bolting from the room; the door snapping shut behind him as he escaped to the safety of his own room.

Pressing his back into his bedroom door, Dean heaved in a deep breath; closing his eyes and scrubbing his hands over his face. This idea was either the best thing he’d ever come up with... or it was going to be the death of him. Maybe he’d be able to get over this stupid fluttering feeling in his chest. Or maybe, just maybe, that feeling was going to explode until it consumed him whole.

"Where are we going first?" Cas asked, sliding into the passenger seat exactly nineteen minutes later.

A minute early, Dean noted. Was that deliberate? Was it accidental? Dean couldn't possibly be overthinking one teeny tiny little minute, could he?

"Pancakes, obviously. Unless you're suddenly going to turn your nose up at chocolate," Dean said, darting his eyes over to Cas as they pulled out of the Bunker onto the main dirt road winding through the woods.

"Chocolate?" Cas repeated, turning in his seat until he'd angled his body towards Dean. The smile that crept across his lips was so dazzling that Dean had to suck in a sharp breath and force his eyes on the road. "I love chocolate."

Huffing out a laugh, Dean clicked on the music and Zeppelin softly filled the air. "Oh really? I never would've known." Shifting onto the main road, Dean grinned at Cas. "I definitely didn't see you eat 3 chocolate bars yesterday."

Cas pretended to be shocked, gasping at Dean even though his eyes were sparkling with laughter. "That certainly wasn't me. Sam framed me."

The laughter bubbled up from Dean’s chest, and he couldn't stop himself from knocking his hand against Cas' knee. "You're a menace. You and your sudden sweet tooth."

"I don't see you complaining that hard. Considering now you have someone to eat chocolate pancakes with."

The breath caught in Dean's throat; such simple words hitting like a wave against his chest. Keeping his focus on the road, he quickly darted his gaze over at Cas from the corner of his eye. Cas had tucked himself against the door, with his body still tilted towards Dean. There was a soft expression on his face; a smile that lit up his eyes with his nose crinkled adorably.

Oh God, this feeling really was going to consume Dean.

Shifting the conversation towards topics that wouldn’t make Dean’s heart ache in his chest, the hour-long drive slipped by in a blur. The diner soon loomed on the horizon, and it was so easy to keep talking about blueberries vs bananas as Dean guided the Impala into a parking spot.

“Doesn’t it depend on what you’re putting the fruit with?” Dean asked, holding the diner door open for Cas to walk through. “Besides, bananas can be baked into far more things than blueberries.”

Cas scrunched up his face, giving Dean a look that bordered on a pout. “You’re just saying that because you prefer bananas over blueberries.”

"I would never," Dean teased, before stepping up to the counter. "Table for two, please."

"Right this way," the hostess said, guiding them to a booth in the back of the diner.

As soon as they sat down, Cas moved to pick up a menu from the table, but Dean reached out from the other side of the booth and plucked it from Cas' hands. "Nope. No looking. You just gotta trust me on this one, yeah?"

"What if I don't like it?" Cas asked, raising an eyebrow even though he leaned back in his seat, conceding to Dean's statement of trust.

Tapping his fingers against the table, Dean tried not to linger on the way their fingertips had just barely brushed when he'd pulled the menu from Cas' grasp. "You will. Don't overthink it and have a little faith in me."

"I do. Trust you," Cas said, something in his tone slipping from playful to serious.

Dean shook his head, dispelling the heavier tone. He didn't want to think about Cas' unwavering trust and how most days he felt like he didn't deserve it. Right now, this moment was about showing Cas something more.

"Good. Because if you don't like it, I'm never speaking to you again," Dean joked, lightening the mood again.

"Never again? That's a long time to not talk to me because of some pancakes, Dean,” Cas laughed.

Just as Dean was about to throw another tease at Cas, a waiter appeared at their table with a smile and a notepad in his hand.

“Hi there, welcome to Mel’s. My name’s Hunter. Can I get you something to drink?”

“Actually, Hunter, we’re ready to order. Two coffees, one with cream and sugar and one with cream. And two short stacks of the rocky road pancakes, please.”

Hunter smiled, jotting down the order. “Well that was easy. I’ll get those coffees out to you both in just a few moments.”

“Thank you,” Cas said, as Hunter collected their menus and disappeared towards the kitchen. “You know how I like my coffee?”

Dean ducked his head, a sudden tinge burning his cheeks as he cleared his throat. “Cream and two sugars. Like I said, you like things on the sweeter side,” Dean said, avoiding Cas’ gaze from the other side of the table.

“You’re very observant,” Cas pointed out.

Dean bit down on his tongue, forcing himself to swallow the words ‘I’m only observant when it comes to you.’ Instead, he threw on a cocky smirk and said, “That’s because I’m an excellent hunter.”

Rolling his eyes, Cas kicked Dean lightly under the table. “You’re not that good.”

Dean pretended to be offended, scrunching up one of the spare napkins and throwing it at Cas’ face. Cas laughed, bright and giddy, and Dean felt a weightless feeling in his chest. He spent the next 15 minutes doing anything and everything he could just to hear Cas laugh again and again.

By the time their pancakes and coffee arrived at the table, Cas’ cheeks were pink from laughter and Dean had never been more smitten. Cas made a little sound of shock as the pancakes were put in front of him; his eyes widening as he looked up at Dean in surprise.

Three massive chocolate pancakes covered the entire size of the plate. Topped with handfuls of marshmallows and almonds, along with a drizzle of chocolate syrup and cocoa powder, it was a chocolate overload.

“What do you think? Does it look sweet enough for you, angel?” Dean said, with a grin.

“Looks like Heaven,” Cas muttered, picking up his fork and taking a bite. Cas instantly groaned in pleasure, eyes fluttering shut as he hummed happily. “Tastes like it, too.”

Dean wasn’t sure whether to laugh at Cas’ words or to dwell on the sound Cas had made when he tasted the pancakes, and it was all too much and not enough.

“You like it?” Dean asked, swallowing a mouthful of his own pancake and washing it down with a sip of coffee just so he could distract himself from the look of sheer bliss that was on Cas’ face.

“It’s the best thing I’ve ever eaten,” Cas said, dipping one of the mini marshmallows into the chocolate syrup with a grin.

This time Dean did laugh, nudging Cas’ leg under the table with his foot. “Don’t eat it too fast or you’ll give yourself hiccups.”

“That’s not a thing,” Cas said, chewing on another mouthful of pancake.

“Yeah, Cas, it is,” Dean said, huffing out a breath and rolling his eyes fondly.

As if to prove his point, Cas started hiccuping a minute later. Dean raised an eyebrow, as if to say, ‘see, I told you,’ and Cas pouted.

“But it’s so-” he broke off to hiccup, “Good.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Dean said warmly. “Hold your breath for twenty seconds, and then eat a little slower. The pancake isn’t going anywhere.”

Cas gave Dean a sharp look. “Unless you-” he hiccuped again, “steal it from my plate before I can eat it.”

Okay, that was a fair point. Dean definitely had eaten from Cas’ plate before. But this time, he placed his hand on his heart as he said, “I won’t touch your pancakes, you have my word.”

Shoulders bouncing as Cas hiccuped again, Dean watched as Cas took in a deep breath and then held it. He internally counted as well, watching as Cas let the breath out twenty seconds later.

They both waited a beat, then two, and when no more hiccups came, Cas beamed at Dean. “It worked,” he said before moving to take another bite of chocolatey goodness.

They lapsed into comfortable silence as they ate, both of them enjoying their breakfast. Cas broke the moment a few minutes later to say, "I want to eat these pancakes every day for the rest of my life."

Taking a sip of his coffee, Dean grinned across the table at Cas. "I'm not sure if we can get out here every day. But we can make it a thing, if you want? Every Sunday that we're at home, you and I can drive down here for breakfast," Dean offered.

Cas nodded eagerly, a genuine smile lighting up his face. "I'd love that."

Something warm settled in Dean's veins; seeing Cas so happy and content over something as simple as a stack of pancakes. It was all Dean had wanted. To see Cas smile and to see him enjoy something Dean also liked.

Nodding firmly, decision made, Dean nudged Cas with his foot again. “Finish your pancakes. We’ve got more things to explore today.”

“Like what?” Cas asked, freezing with his fork inches from his lips. Dean had to force himself to look away before he stared at the way Cas’ lips wrapped around the fork.

“You’ll see. I’ll give you a couple options in the car and you can pick whichever one you want,” Dean said, biting down on his own fork just a little too roughly; the tang of metal vibrating along his tooth.

Cas pouted, pointing at Dean with the handle of his fork. “What if I want to know the options now?”

Miming zipping his lips closed, Dean smiled at the fond exasperation that Cas shot his way. The expression instantly melted into a smile again as Cas scooped more marshmallows onto his chocolate pancake.

“A new tradition,” Cas murmured, more to himself than Dean, but Dean heard the fondness in the words and his heart kicked up again in his chest.

God, Dean was happy. Happier than he’d been in a long time. He genuinely cared about Cas enjoying things, and knowing he’d been able to make Cas smile was a damn good feeling.

By the time they made their way back to the Impala twenty minutes later, both full of chocolatey sweetness, Cas immediately tapped his fingers on Dean’s knee. “What are the options?”

Rolling his eyes, Dean nudged Baby into gear and pulled back out onto the road. “So impatient.”

“Shut up,” Cas huffed, his tone sharply contrasting the happy look on his face.

“Alright. Simple question. Don’t think too hard about it. Ready?”

Cas nodded.

“Aquarium or the zoo?”

Cas’ eyes sparkled bright blue in the late morning sunlight as he made his choice. “Aquarium.”

The afternoon sun crept through the Impala windows as they arrived at the aquarium in Kansas City a couple of hours later. Cas had spent the entire drive talking about the evolution of fish and their importance to the earth from creation until now.

It was entirely endearing, hearing Cas talk so animatedly. It made Dean want to pull over; to watch Cas talk as he hung on every word that slipped past Cas’ lips. Instead, he darted his eyes over to the passenger seat as often as he could, watching as Cas occasionally emphasized his point by gesturing with his hands.

Too cute.

Dean turned his eyes back to the road again.

As soon as they’d parked, Cas was out of the car and gravitating towards the entrance before Dean could even open his door. There was an excited gleam in Cas’ eyes, and Dean felt the electric pull as he allowed Cas to lead the way to the ticket booth.

“I wonder if they’ll have any seahorses. Did you know they’re the only animals where the male carries the eggs and undergoes the birthing process?” Cas asked as Dean purchased the tickets.

Dean hummed vaguely in answer, not wanting to take away from Cas’ enthusiasm by admitting he already knew that. “I’m sure they’ll have plenty of seahorses,” he said instead, watching Cas from the corner of his eye as the former angel beamed.

Stepping into the cool air conditioned building, Dean’s eyes caught the entrance sign that indicated which direction each exhibit was located and he nudged Cas towards it. “What do you want to see first?”

Cas’ gaze caught the very first line on the sign and he grinned. “There are sea turtles, Dean. A whole rescue center for them.” Something in Cas’ expression shifted from excited to fond in the blink of an eye; leaving Dean reeling at how expressive Cas was. “It’s nice. That there are people who try to conserve endangered species.”

Dean bumped his shoulder into Cas’, gently directing him towards the sea turtle exhibit. “See? Not all humans are terrible,” he joked.

“No. They’re not,” Cas said, the fondness morphing into something tender as his gaze locked with Dean’s. The moment felt blinding, and Dean had to tear his eyes away before he did something stupid like lean in and kiss Cas right in front of the exhibit.

Instead, Dean shifted the conversation into something lighter. Putting his hand out, he caught Cas’ shoulder and held him back mere feet from the turtles. When Cas gave him a questioning look, Dean moved to tap his nose with his finger. “Take a second. What do you smell?”

Cas tilted his head, sucking in a deep breath before raising an eyebrow at Dean. “Salt water.”

Dean nodded. “Part of the experience is the smell; the salt lingering in the air from the exhibits. Almost makes you feel like you’re right there by the ocean.”

Dean watched as Cas’ eyes fluttered shut as he took another long, slow breath. A little smile graced his lips, and the sight was so simplistic and yet so beautiful Dean momentarily lost his breath. Quickly sneaking out his phone, Dean took a picture; with the turtles in the background and Cas with his eyes closed in a peaceful bliss.

“I like it,” Cas said a moment later, eyes fluttering open as he looked over at Dean. “The atmosphere is peaceful.”

Nodding, Dean nudged Cas to start moving again. “I’m glad. Now let’s go see the turtles.”

Entering into the turtles rescue center, they walked up to one of the large tanks where several turtles gracefully swam by. Cas moved forward, gently pressing his palm to the glass. “They’re beautiful,” he murmured.

“Do you want to sit and watch them? It looks like there might be someone coming to feed them if you want to stay for that?” Dean asked.

“I’d love to,” Cas said, letting Dean lead him to a bench just a couple of feet away.

They sat down together, watching as the turtles elegantly moved through the water. It was captivating and mesmerizing; both watching the turtles glide through the water, but also watching Cas watching the turtles.

“Tell me something. About turtles, I mean,” Dean said, bumping Cas’ knee with his own.

“Their species is 110 million years old,” Cas said wistfully, as if he were picturing the moment when sea turtles first came into existence. “They don’t have any teeth,” he said, nodding his head to the tank where several jellyfish and crabs were being fed to the turtles. “Their mouth is made of keratin, like your fingernails, which helps to break down the plants and small animals that they eat.”

“They really are elegant,” Dean said, pressing his shoe up against Cas’ and offering him a smile.

Cas nodded, his eyes darting back and forth between the turtles and Dean. “They were some of my favorite creatures made for the ocean.” Cas lapsed into silence for a few moments, his gaze caught on a cluster of turtles that swam up to the surface to take a breath.

Dean let the pause linger, but instead of watching the turtles, he spent his time watching Cas. He cataloged the serene expression on Cas’ face and committed it to memory. It was a pleased contentment that Dean wanted to see Cas experience over and over again.

After several minutes of watching the turtles swim around and waddle their way up onto a sandy ledge, Cas bumped their knees together. “What’s next?”

“You tell me,” Dean said. “What do you want to see?”

“Fish. Any fish,” he paused, “The fish from that movie you’ve talked about before.”

Dean laughed, tipping his head back and letting a bubbling feeling of happiness wrap around his heart. “You mean Finding Nemo?”

“That’s it. Show me fish from Finding Nemo,” Cas said, getting up from the bench and offering his hand to Dean.

Dean let his fingers wrap around Cas’ wrist as Cas pulled him to his feet, and a spark of longing cascaded down his spine. Before he could linger on the feeling for too long, Cas had let go and was moving towards the nearest sign with arrows to the major exhibits.

“It says fish exhibits are this way,” Cas said, already moving towards the tunnel he’d indicated. Except it wasn’t just a tunnel. A large tank wrapped around the walkway, giving a massive overhead view of several sharks and fishes as they stepped into the passage.

“Wow,” Cas breathed out, tilting his head back so he could watch as a blacktip shark swam over their heads. They paused in the corridor, watching as a school of fish darted overhead just seconds after the shark had passed. “I’ve never seen anything like this before,” Cas whispered.

There was something about Cas’ earnest awe that made Dean want to surprise him over and over again. “Do you like it?” Dean asked, stepping to the side as a family moved past them.

“I do,” Cas replied, happy and carefree.

And then they were moving again; past the sharks and into several rooms filled with tanks of colorful fish. From sea bass to minnows, and rockfish to flounders; they spent a vast amount of time looking at each exhibit of fish. Dean specifically found tanks filled with clownfish and blue tangs, explaining the plot of Finding Nemo even though he knew Cas already knew the movie.

The exhibits transitioned from fish into invertebrates and other sea creatures; crabs and lobsters, jellyfish and urchins, eels to octopi. Cas was fascinated by every animal they saw.

But Dean’s favorite part was the knowledge Cas shared. At every single exhibit, Dean pointed at a fish and asked, “Tell me something about this one.” And, without fail, Cas instantly told Dean a unique fact or detail about whichever animal Dean had pointed at. Dean stopped looking at the signs next to each tank, instead turning and asking Cas what each species was. No matter how many times Dean asked, Cas gave him the same beautifully fond smile as he detailed every fish they saw.

By the time they’d made their way through all of the tanks, Dean swore he could write and direct his own nature series on sea creatures with all the information Cas had shared.

“Alright, now we’ve seen the fish, are you ready for the best part of any aquarium trip?” Dean asked as they stepped back out into the main entryway of the building.

“There’s something better than seeing the fish?” Cas asked, tilting his head questioningly.

Dean chuckled, nudging Cas towards another corridor while deliberately blocking the signpost from view so that he could surprise Cas. “Oh, trust me, you’re gonna enjoy this.”

Guiding Cas past tanks of coral and kelp, they walked out into a large enclosure. People lingered around a massive pool in the center of the room; children screaming and giggling and the sounds of splashing water echoing around the walls.

“Welcome,” Dean said, gesturing widely with his arms, “To the interactive touchpool.”

“The what?” Cas asked, squinting at Dean in shock.

“Touchpool, Cas. It’s where you can actually put your hand in the water and touch the creatures. I thought you’d like to physically interact with some of the animals. If you want?”

Cas pulled in a sharp breath, his eyes flitting to the large pool before darting back to Dean in awe. “What animals are there?”

“Why don’t we go find out?” Dean said, guiding Cas to the sink area so they could both wash their hands before directing them to an open spot along the wall of the exhibit. Rolling his sleeve up, Dean motioned for Cas to do the same. Then he dipped his fingertips into the water, and watched as Cas copied his motions.

Reaching out, Dean’s fingers brushed over a sea star and he chuckled quietly. “C’mere,” he said, moving his hand through the water until he bumped against Cas. Linking their fingers together, Dean guided their joined hands down until Cas’ palm was pressed against the sea star.

“Oh.” Cas’ surprise hung in the air between them as he leaned his weight into Dean’s side. Pressed together against the rocky edge of the exhibit, Dean swore he never wanted to let go. But Cas deserved to experience what it felt like to touch these creatures. Loosening his hold on Cas’ wrist until he was just barely brushing their hands together, Dean felt Cas’ hand move slowly over the top of the sea star, as if he were memorizing every hard bump of the spines along its body. “It’s not what I expected, even though I know every molecule they’re made of. It feels… leathery,” Cas said, tilting his head carefully as he gently traced his fingers over the starfish for a second time.

Dean gave Cas another minute to interact with the sea star before he slipped his fingers across the back of Cas’ hand and carefully guided him again. “How does this feel?” he asked as he lowered Cas’ hand down gently towards an anemone.

Cas let out another little gasp, hand jerking back slightly at the texture before he touched it again. “Gelatinous. Like jello,” Cas said with a laugh, fingers tracing over the flower-like structure.

Shifting away slightly to put some space between them, Dean moved to pull his hand away, but Cas instantly followed him until he pressed their hands together again. Their fingers interlocked under the rippling water, and Dean felt his breath stutter out of his lungs.

“Show me something else,” Cas said, voice almost drowned out by the loud sounds all around them.

Pulling in a sharp breath, Dean kept their hands linked together as he took a step to the side; waiting for Cas to follow him. He watched carefully as the stingray moved along the floor of the exhibit, and as it approached them, he directed Cas’ hand down until his palm slid down the stingray's back.

“What does the stingray feel like?” Dean asked, words sticking in his throat as the overwhelming sensations sparked between them.

“Smooth. Almost sleek and silky,” Cas said, voice dropping into something breathy in awe. Cas’ hand lingered against the stingray, fingertips stroking over it’s skin before Dean shifted their joined hands down onto the bottom of the tank.

“Let it move over your hand,” Dean said, shifting his hold on Cas until he was gripping around Cas’ wrist.

The stingray rippled over Cas’ hand as it swam along the floor, and Cas let out a startled laugh. “It tickles,” he said, leaning his weight back into Dean again until his hip bumped against Dean’s. They remained that way for several long seconds as the stingray moved over Cas’ hand and continued on its way down the length of the pool.

Dean cast his eyes from the water up to Cas, and their gazes locked for a heart-pounding moment. An unspoken thing passed between them, and Cas momentarily flipped his hand until his palm brushed against Dean’s palm. There was a rush of water that moved around their hands at the motion, but Dean swore he could feel the heat from Cas’ hand radiating up into his.

Movement from a large gray fish broke Dean from the trace and he tipped Cas’ hand palm down again as the fish swam past.

“Fish,” Dean said.

“Sturgeon,” Cas clarified as his fingers grazed along the bony spines of its back until it’s whiskers tickled over the pads of his fingers. “It’s smooth because it doesn't have any scales, but also bony where the cartilage creates these projections.”

Nodding, Dean glided their hands through the water again until they brushed against the sharp roughness of coral.

“It’s different, right? Focusing all your senses on the way something feels,” Dean said quietly.

Cas nodded, letting Deans’ fingers slide into the gaps between his own again. “I’ve never experienced anything quite like it,” Cas said, words whispered reverently between them. And then, said even more quietly, “I remember watching the evolution of these creatures; watching one of the fish climb onto the shore and another angel telling me not to step on that fish because there were big plans for it. I wish I’d known then.”

“Known what?” Dean asked, a sudden lump forming in his throat.

“How beautiful fish could be, and what it was truly like to see them and touch them,” Cas responded, letting Dean maneuver them as another stingray floated through the water right underneath their hands.

Dean tilted his head, watching the way Cas’ expressions shifted from amazement to surprise and delight.

“Do you want to stay here for a little while? We can see if there’s any other creatures on the other side of the pool that you can interact with?”

The smile that Cas gave him was so bright Dean swore it rivaled the sun. “I’d like that very much.”

Letting go of Cas’ hand and stepping away from the water felt like Dean had left a part of himself behind on the edge of the pool. But when they’d found a new spot on the opposite end of the exhibit, Cas’ hand instantly found Dean’s underwater.

They spent an hour at the touchpool interacting with the creatures, but Dean wasn’t paying attention to the animals anymore. All he could focus on was the way Cas’ hand fit perfectly with his own, and how Cas kept their fingers intertwined the entire time. Dean never wanted the moment to end; Cas pressed against him, babbling excitedly about how everything felt, as if they had all the time in the world to linger right there at the edge of the glistening water.

Dusk had fallen by the time they left the aquarium. Walking back to the car, Dean felt drunk on happiness with the tingling sensation of Cas’ fingers still lingering against his hand. Part of him wanted to reach out and grasp Cas’ hand again, but without the pretense of the water, Dean hesitated and the moment slipped by.

But the day had been good; better than anything Dean could’ve hoped for. In all the time he’d known Cas, Dean swore he’d never seen Cas laugh and smile so much.

By the time they climbed back into the Impala, Cas was hiding a yawn behind his hand, automatically dropping his head to rest against the door.

“I think that’s enough excitement for one day. Ready to find a motel and get some sleep?” Dean asked.

Cas’ tired eyes found Dean’s in the muted light from the streetlight above them, and he gave Dean a soft nod. Despite the exhaustion, Dean could still see the etches of happiness lingering in Cas’ expression. Something churned in Dean’s stomach at the sight and he reached out, resting his hand briefly on Cas’ knee with a gentle squeeze.

“Dean,” Cas said, voice infused with affection.

The tenderness was almost too much to bear, and Dean cast his eyes out to the road as they pulled out of the parking lot. “Sap,” he muttered back to Cas, catching the little fond smile on Cas’ face at the light teasing.

Once they were back on the road, Cas closed his eyes and tipped his head back against the door again. Dean noticed, and quickly he fumbled one handed to grab one of his spare jackets from the backseat. He nudged it into Cas’ lap, nodding his head towards the door. “Better to use a jacket as a pillow.”

“Thank you, Dean,” Cas murmured thickly, scrunching the jacket up and nestling it between his head and the door. Another surge of fondness surged up to wrap around Dean’s lungs, and he forced himself to focus on driving instead of watching Cas drift off to sleep with his head pillowed on his jacket.

It took almost half an hour of driving to find a motel that had any vacancy- why the last 3 were all full was a surprising feat that Dean had rarely encountered- and Dean was tempted to let Cas sleep the rest of the night tucked up in the passenger seat, but he knew from experience that it was more comfortable to drag his exhausted ass into a motel room than to get neck ache from sleeping against the car door. As softly as he could, Dean nudged Cas’ shoulder.

Cas’ eyes immediately fluttered open, Dean’s name on his lips as he catalogued their surroundings with sleepy blinks.

“Hey buddy. Are you ready to get out of the car and get some sleep in a bed?” Dean prompted, keeping his tone gentle in the peaceful darkness of the car.

“Yeah, okay,” Cas said, scrubbing his eyes with the back of his hand.

God. The sight was ridiculously cute. Dean’s heart kicked up against his chest, and he forced himself to open the door and step out into the cool night air before he reached out and brushed his hand through Cas’ messy hair. “I’ll go get us checked in.”

He waited until he saw Cas nod before he made his way to the front desk.

A young man looked up as the bell above the door dinged, and the smell of musty haze hit Dean as he stepped into the building.

“Single room with two queens, please,” Dean said, stepping up to the counter.

The man made a face, shaking his head as he dropped a key in front of Dean. “Sorry, dude. I’ve got one room left with one bed. There’s a convention in town and everywhere is booked for miles.”

Well shit. Dean cast his eyes outside to Cas, who was leaning against the hood of the Impala with his shoulders hunched as if he were barely keeping himself standing upright. They were both tired, and searching for another motel when there was a room here felt unnecessarily complicated. They could share a bed, right? It was just for one night. Cas wouldn’t mind, would he?

“Yeah, alright, we’ll take it,” Dean said, lungs suddenly constricting in his chest at the thought of lying inches away from Cas. “Thanks.” Picking up the key, Dean made his way back out to the Impala where Cas had stacked their bags on the curb by his feet.

“Hope you don’t mind sharing,” he said, bending down to grab his overnight bag. “They only had one room left with just one bed.”

“Okay,” Cas said, simple and easy. But was that… was that a smile? Why was Cas smiling about sharing a bed? Surely he wouldn’t want to be crammed up next to Dean after they’d spent all day in each other’s pockets. “I’m following you.”

Shaking his head, Dean hummed vaguely and followed the signs down to their room. Nudging open the door, Dean dumped his bag on the little table by the window. “You can go ahead and take a shower first if you want?”

Cas smiled, tired yet genuine. “Are you sure?”

Nodding, Dean gestured towards the bathroom. “Go for it. I’m just gonna check in on Sam and see how he’s doing.”

“Thank you, Dean.”

Dean watched Cas disappear into the bathroom, and his chest ached as the yearning wrapped thickly around his lungs. God. Any hopes Dean had of this trip dampening his feelings had quickly flown out the window. The ache was even deeper now, and the thought of sharing a bed with Cas all night was more than Dean could handle.

Stepping back outside, Dean sucked in a sharp lungful of air. He really was in trouble now. Calling Sam didn’t seem to distract Dean at all; especially because Sam had nothing exciting to report other than the fact he’d been doing some inventory work around the bunker.

A cold shower would help to tamper down the yearning… well, it would’ve if Dean hadn’t seen Cas emerge from the bathroom in a soft pair of pajama pants and one of Dean’s old tshirts that he’d given to Cas a couple months ago.

Shit. Dean was well and truly smitten.

Cas tugged the blankets around himself as he curled up on the left side of the bed, and Dean felt his heart lurch in his chest. Soft. That was the best word he could find to describe how Cas looked. Hair still damp and flopped across his forehead with a faded maroon shirt highlighting Cas’ tan. The sleepy look in Cas’ eyes was enough to have Dean melting into the floor.

“I’ll be- uh, be right back,” Dean said, locking himself into the bathroom as his heart thundered against his ribs.

There was no escaping the feeling.

By the time Dean made his way back into the room, he expected Cas to be asleep. But instead he was propped up against the headboard and he smiled at Dean the second he saw him. Dean hesitated for a moment at the edge of the bed, before pulling back the covers and climbing in on the other side.

Cas instantly shifted so he was facing Dean, offering him another tired smile. “Today was good. Really good,” he murmured quietly.

Dean felt himself relax into the mattress; tilting until he was lying face to face with Cas. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Cas replied. They lapsed into silence for a few moments before Cas admitted, “I didn’t know it could be like that.”

Dean raised an eyebrow in the faint light coming from the single lamp on Cas’ side of the bed, waiting for Cas to clarify what he meant.

“That the simple things in life could be so beautiful,” Cas said after a moment, as if he’d been looking for the right words to describe what he was feeling. “I don’t know what…” Cas paused, tilting his head until his cheek was pressed into the pillow. “I’ve never really known what happiness is. But I think this is what it looks like; what it feels like.”

The words hovered between them, heavy in their confession and yet light in their tone.

“You’re happy?” Dean whispered, barely able to get his voice to escape past his lips.

Cas smiled, gummy and soft, and it was the most beautiful smile Dean had ever seen. “Really, really happy,” Cas said, fingers tugging lightly at the blanket he’d wrapped himself in.

The words settled like honey in Dean’s veins, and he felt himself smile right back at Cas. God, why was he feeling so sappy and why did he want to do anything to keep that smile on Cas’ face?

“Wanna talk about plans for tomorrow? I’ve got another idea you might enjoy that’s on the way back home,” Dean said. The idea had wiggled its way into his head while he’d been brushing his teeth, and he had a feeling it would make Cas smile even more when he suggested it.

“Yeah?” Cas asked, echoing the same tone Dean had used just a couple minutes ago.

“Botanical garden. There’s one on the other side of Kansas City that’s famous for blooming flowers this time of year. I thought you might like to see some of the beauty of nature,” Dean said.

A smitten look crossed Cas’ face; his eyes softening into something extremely tender and affectionate. And then he was leaning across the pillow into Dean’s space. When their lips met, it was the softest brush Dean had ever felt in his life.

Cas pulled back with a little sigh of an exhale, and then dove back in to press their mouths together again. This kiss was even warmer and slower; Cas pressing his body against Dean and Dean wrapping his arms around Cas’ waist to coax him closer.

They broke the kiss with little gasps before closing the gap to kiss again. Cas’ nose brushed against Dean’s, nuzzling delicately, before his fingertips grazed along Dean’s jaw.

Dean’s heart ached in his chest as Cas peppered several quick butterfly pecks against his lips before lingering on the next kiss. Everything seemed to slow down around them, until all of Dean’s senses were overwhelmed with the touch and taste of Cas.

Somehow, Dean had always pictured that kissing Cas would be like an electrical storm; crackling and fizzling and bursting with desperation to make things deeper. But this… this was the most delicate and romantic kiss Dean had ever experienced in his life. Soft and simple; just gentle caresses of their lips melding together with little happy hums.

Cas tilted his head and Dean followed the movement, sliding his hand under the hem of Cas’ tshirt until he was tracing little patterns along Cas’ hip. Each kiss felt like Dean was going to melt into the mattress as Cas huffed a tiny breath against his cheek before kissing him again.

God.

It was so good Dean just couldn’t get enough.

When Cas pulled back with a stuttering breath, Dean chased him, free hand coming up to cup Cas’ cheek as he brushed their noses together again before seeking out Cas’ lips in another kiss.

Quiet little pleased sounds filled the air with the tickle of lips teasing against each other. Cas’ hands had found their way into Dean’s hair, and Dean had all but tugged Cas forwards until he was lying across Dean’s chest. Fast kisses morphed into slow tangible dances as their mouths learned what it felt like to be slotted together.

By the time Dean finally pulled back, resting his forehead against Cas’, he was absolutely breathless and his heart was milliseconds from catapulting out of his chest with how fast it was beating.

“What was that for?” Dean whispered, tracing his fingertips from Cas’ hip to the small of his back.

“Because you’re absolutely… Dean, you’re just… indescribable,” Cas murmured, lips ghosting over Dean’s cheek. “I’ve wanted to kiss you all day. You make me happier than I’ve ever been in my entire existence.”

Something in Dean’s chest burned warm and pleasant through his veins, lighting his heart on fire. This whole time, Cas had felt the same way he did. God. He’d have kissed Cas breathless over those chocolate pancakes had he known that Cas wanted it, too.

Cas tucked himself more comfortably against his side, and Dean looped his arms loosely around Cas’ back.

“Dean,” Cas whispered, breath tickling along Dean’s neck.

“Hm?” Dean hummed quietly.

“Kiss me again.”

This time it was just sleepy little brushes; lips ever-so-softly coming together in chaste touches as they kissed. When Cas pulled back, he muttered something about the botanical gardens and how happy he was. The words were muffled into the collar of Dean’s shirt, and Dean felt the shift as Cas drifted off to sleep in his arms.

When sleep finally caught up to Dean after he spent several long minutes committing this perfect day to his memory, it was with the taste of Cas still lingering against his lips and the feel of Cas’ body pressed against his own.

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saturnrevolution · 3 years ago

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Leo full moon 16th of February

Have you seen how bright the moon is? Leo for sure has a way of getting our attention. With the north node also being involved, it’s a time to question the way we see life long term. Ask yourself, what gives you pleasure, what speaks to your heart truly, where is your passion? You might change paths around this full moon and undergo an ego death, let go of the side of you what makes fear based decisions. Who are you when no one is watching? How can you bring more of that side of you into the spotlight and into your relationships? Listen to your inner calling.

Aries full moon mantra: I let go of any tension I created by putting pressure on my friendships to be perfect. I understand the areas in which I might have been wrong. Instead, I focus on the ways in which I can provide myself for the future. Whoever is meant for me will remain in my life. Taurus full moon mantra: I let go of the moments in which I might have mistaken in my relationship with family. I know that their upbringing was different, but I can be a better person for me. Instead, I focus on myself and the practical steps I can take in my own life as a way to overcome blockages. Gemini full moon mantra: I let go of beliefs that put me in a victim mentality. I know that the power stands within me to change my perspective and enjoy life a little more. Instead, I focus on the ways in which I can better my mental health, whilst also doing something fun, like following a hobby. Cancer full moon mantra: I let go of overidentifying with the things that I own or how successful I should be or I see myself to be. I know that success means inner peace and enjoying the journey. Instead, I focus on friends that bring out the best of me and communities that share my passions. Leo full moon mantra: I let go of the need to be a certain way just so others appreciate me. I know that I am more than what others think of me. This is why, I shift my focus towards what it is that I actually want to do and follow my impulses and make the needed changes in my career.

Virgo full moon mantra: I let go of going over and over again in the same circle and expecting things to change. I detach, take a step back and actually see what I am doing instead of what I would benefit more from. Instead, I focus on bringing more adventures into my life by following my curiosity, not fear. Libra full moon mantra: I let go of trying to figure out everything by myself when it comes to my connections and my future. I know that things take time and it’s normal to be imperfect. Instead, I practice gratitude for the things I do have and trust that emotional fulfillment will happen as it should. Scorpio full moon mantra: I let go of a cycle connected to my career which was necessary for me, but it is not serving me anymore. I know that balance is important in my life and I am working on finding that by focusing more on my needs, but also on nurturing the healthy relationships in my life. Sagittarius full moon mantra: I let go of impulsive decision making that was happening out of not understanding that life can be complicated. Not everything flows easily and I accept that. It’s ok to not be decisive all the time and to give me and others space. Instead, I invest more in my daily routine. Capricorn full moon mantra: I let go of emotions I have kept within me for longer than I should out of fear of seeming weak. I actually don’t care how I seem. I know that speaking on my feelings is helpful and necessary. Instead, I focus on ways in which I can bring more fun, romance in and just be present. Aquarius full moon mantra: I let go of pride in relationships by understanding better where the other person is coming from. By doing so, I also allow myself to show up with my flaws in relationships. Instead of overthinking them, I focus on how I can better create comfort and feel at home. Pisces full moon mantra: I let go of focusing so much on my daily routine and tasks that I forget to stop and take a break. I know that others need my help too and I can be there for them, but I can also be there for me. Instead, I focus on speaking my mind more clearly and my long term needs.

#astrology #fullmoon #horoscope #mantra #posted #leo

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tipsydipsydo · 4 years ago

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Pairing: tall! & sub! Reader x dom! OT7 BTS

Gender of the Reader: male

Word Count: 2.3k

Rating: 18+

Genre: Smut/PwP

Warnings: Dirty Language + Dirty Talk; Dom-/Sub-Dynamics; accidental overhearing of a phone call, Mentions of Exhibitionism & Voyeurism; Mentions of Sex Toys & Masturbation; slightly mentioned Double Penetration; mentions of Anal play; Praising; Petnames; some Degradation; Daddy-Kink; Teasing; slight Edging; the boys are teasing the poor reader to Death

A/N: Well- that was a quick writing. Instead of studying I decided to write this funny request and to use my procrastination in a better way than scrolling stressed through TikTok. I hope y’all like it!!

Status: unedited bc I am lazy and should study.

Request: i want to request a drabble/one shot: sub taller male reader and his seven boyfriends in which he confidently talks naughty things with his friend on phone but when he realized his bf are watching, he became crazily shy because he is just a big cute boy, then his bf decided they want to test those ‘words’ he has said, poor boy =))

Requested by: anonymous

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This following story is my intellectual property and belongs only to my blog tipsydipsydo.tumblr.com!

I’ll not accept any kind of reposting, stealing or using/editing my work!

That includes reposting my content on other social media platforms too, even when you link me as the original author.

Thank you.

After too many and super busy weeks full of work, you’ve finally managed to find a free afternoon in your schedule where your best friend and you have enough time for a nice, long telephone call on the couch. You are already over one and a half hour on the phone, exchanging the newest stuff that happened in your life with each other and joking around. Slowly your conversation turns their focus to your more private life and your bestie asks you about your polyamorous relationship with your boyfriends. At first just normal things like, how’s it going in general, how you all manage the relationship with all the different time schedules, how often it comes to fights and how you deal with that etc. Just normal stuff and the ‘typical’ questions you’re already used to, when people realize that you’re not in a monogamous relationship.

Your best friend and you grew up together. You met each other in elementary school, went through the curses of puberty as an inseparable team and even survived middle and high school thanks to the other one. Already in your teens, where both of you made your first experiences and got into your first relationships, your best friend had a guess that you’re not as straight as you want him to believe. No, they even assumed that you’re maybe not made for the typical monogamous relationship which the society preach every fucking day.

Well, turns out that your best friend really knew you better than you did yourself back then but honestly, nowadays you’re thankful for their suggestions and that they gave you the save space you needed to dare to make new experiences in those directions.

Nevertheless, they were still more than surprised when you introduced him to not only two or three boyfriends, no that you brought seven (!) other men to their birthday party two years ago. At first they were a little worried if you didn’t overload yourself with such a complex relationship dynamic and that it’ll turn out as a serious burden and not an enrichment for your life. Turns out, now it was their turn to make a false assumption about what’s the best for you and theu were more than happy to admit that everything turned out just fine. It truly makes their heart swell to hear the happiness in your voice through the phone everything you mention something about the boys.

Quickly your phone call turn into an even more private talk and dedicate itself to the really interesting stuff. You’re sharing every detail in your life with another, so why should it stop when it comes to sex talk? You have absolutely no problem and any shame to talk freely with your best friend about your kinks and dirty thoughts. Sometimes you even think that you’re better informed about each other’s preferences better than your actual partner(s) are.

“I think, I already told you that idea more than once... that I have a thing for exhibitionism and the thought of getting catched doing something ‘forbitten’ or ‘dirty’, right? Uhm... TMI but I don’t give a shit, whenever I am alone at home because they’re busy and we can’t meet for some days... I mastubate with some of the toys they’ve bought for me and imagine that they catch me. You know, when we have sessions with Dom and Sub Dynamics, they’re only temporarily and usually we go back to normal in the moment when the scene is over... that means, when I am alone and horny, I can do whatever I want to. I can jack off or fuck myself as much I desire and they wouldn’t say anything about it. It’s not like, I don’t appreciate my personal freedom when it comes to masturbation or that I want something completely different, no! We both already talked about that too, I don’t like the idea of Total Power Exchange, I prefer to be an independent person as soon as I walk out of the bedroom- okay, not only bedroom, we have sex in other places than the bedroom too- ANYWAY, what I wanted to say with that: ...”, you mutter and take a deep breath into your lungs.

After holding such a long monologue your mouth dried up terribly and now you need quickly something to drink. You get up from the couch and walk over to the kitchen island to pour some soda into a glass. A satisfied hum leaves your throat after you took some gulps of your favourite sparkling sugar bomb.

The whole time, where you moved around in the eat-in kitchen of the apartment, you are not that alone anymore as you thought you’d be, especially right in this moment. Namjoon, Hoseok and a boyish smirking Jimin joined you around ten minutes ago, leaning casually against the wall next to the door of the room and listen very interested to the conversation you have with your friend right now. They didn’t mean to overhear your private talk, they just wanted to know what kind of take-out food you’d prefer for tonight.

Unfortunately your conversation turned out to be very, very interesting for them, so they decided to give you some more time to talk with your best friend about the sexual fantasies you have which they don’t know about... well, until now.

Hoseok texted the other boys in the group chat to join them in the living room as well, they need to hear those very important information too!

Poor you, completely oblivious and naïve to what’s happening in this moment, not getting any kind of hint that not only your best friend would get those significant informations...

“...-what I actually wanted to say with that: I prefer to be independent in relation to all other non-sexual life-responsibilities. Well, that doesn’t mean we couldn’t increase the Erotic Power Exchange, right? To be very honest, I can’t get the fantasy of them taking my sextoys away and to forbid me to touch myself without their permission out of my head. I love to be their good boy and to get praises, I really do... but there is this thrill to be break the instructed rules, getting caught while doing it and getting punished for it. I want... I want to get called bad, filthy and dirty names, I want to be a disobedient, greedy and insatiable slut for them. I want to get spanked, edged and overstimulated, I want to get fucked into the mattress so bad, up to the point where I can’t get a single clear thought together and my brain turned to mush... I want to get used, ruined and wrecked by their cocks, getting my holes stuffed full with their cum and then plugged up, so nothing can run out anymore- God fuck, I should stop talking like that or I’ll get a serious problem! Well... sorry for so much detailed TMI, you know that this shit always happens when you tell me to stop overthinking and encourage me to spill everything that comes to my mind. Now you got every filthy detail you’ve asked for, you’re welcome.”, you joke sarcastically and facepalm yourself. You can’t believe how incredibly blunt and shameless you just threw your latest sex fantasy in every fucking detail at your poor best friend.

Usually you’re more than shy to talk about such things, in your understanding the magic for your shameless mouth towards your best friend has to reside in the deep thrust you have in him and simply the knowledge that your relationship is platonic. It’s not like that you couldn’t trust your boyfriends wholeheartedly, god no! You know, that they would never kinkshame you for anything,

it’s just... after sharing those thoughts it would result something out of it. You don’t want that they think you’re a weirdo or that they only do specific things because they know it would turn you on.

The other one just snorts in amusement when you voice this slight helpless apology, they can imagine the significant blush which has settled down on your cheeks.

“Hey buddy, don’t apologize for that. There is nothing to apologizing for, I am way too curious for my own good as well and I need to make sure that you’re happy in your relationship, especially when it comes to the point if they are able to fulfill your sexual desires. I need to know that, believe me. Okay, there’s one thing... I knew you were submissive, my dude. But I didn’t expect that you’d be such a masochistic hoe and that you’d have such a thing for degradation, Jesus! Nevermind, more important: did you talked with them about that fantasy? Would they be down for this idea and would they like to be more in charge? Please do not tell me that you’re too shy to talk with them about it, not again! I tell you this every goddamn time, communication is key!”, your best friend says to you in a serious tone.

Here you go again, getting scolded by your friend all over again. He is right, you know that... y’all already talked about ‘how to deal with certain kinks some of them or you have but the others aren’t into and how to not make them feel bad or insecure about it’ several times, you tend to overthink everything you have ever said to them all over again. You are always so flustered when seven pairs of eyes are looking at you, waiting for an answer. You are tall, even taller than Namjoon, but under their curious stares you feel always so small, fiddling with your fingers around like a little schoolboy. You love that about them, putting you into such a submissive place just with their aura and charisma and giving you the feeling as if they overtower you physically too.

“I can absolutely agree with Y/BF/N, communication is key. Why didn’t you told us those nasty fantasies you have in your cute head up here, right away? Too shy again? Do we really need to call your best friend the next time to get some hints to your secret kinks, Babyboy?”, Taehyung rasps into your earshell and wraps his arms around you. He chuckles slightly as you squeak high-pitched in surprise.

An equal surprised yelp of your best friend comes out of the speaker of your phone which takes Yoongi out of your hand and excuse you with the apology that ‘they need to have an important talk with you now and that you have to hang up unfortunately’.

The display of your phone turns dark and Yoongi puts it on the surface of the kitchen island before he flashes you a dirty smile. That you’re mortified that they caught you spilling all those filthy fantasies to your best friend is the understatement of the century. Never and you mean never did you hoped so bad that the floor opens up and swallows you whole, saving you from this embarrassing misery. But Yoongi give you much time to drown in shame, coming up to you and connect your lips to a rough kiss.

“God, I love it when our so sweet and shy Baby has such nasty and indecent fantasies in his head... why don’t you tell us these ideas in every single filthy detail once again? I think we could turn the information into some very good use, big boy~”, whispers the smaller one with blown-out eyes against your lips.

“...or would you prefer that we call you a needy cumslut, hm? The things I’ve heard give me the assumption that you want to get fucked stupid and pumped full with cum as if you are our personal playtoy?”, growls Jungkook and grabs himself a handful of your right asscheek, kneading it with a firm grip in his big palm.

“Come on, big boy, admit that you want exactly the things Jungkook just said... I can feel how fucking hard you just got from his words... already so hard and swollen against my palm even though we barely touched you. You’re truly such a pathetic, needy slut... I bet you’d already cum in your pants if we just tease you enough... Am I right?”, chuckles Namjoon in his deep, arousal soaked timbre against your neck, nibbling at the sensitive spot of your Adam’s apple.

“...what about we change our location to the bedroom and talk about the things you’ve said to Y/BF/N? Maybe we could try some of your newest kinks out? Would you like the thought of us watching you from the couch while you prepare your needy asshole for us? Showing us how you stuff you clenching rim with a girthy dildo? Wearing a cockring so you couldn’t cum without our permission? Prepping yourself all messy, whining for our finger, tongues and dicks in your ass like the greedy slut you are? Yeah, you’d love that thought.”, Seokjin teases you mercilessly, rolling your sensitive balls in his palm, just how you like it. “Y-Yes, Daddies... I’d love to be a greedy cumslut for you... please turn me into one!”, you wisper.

@cys-mental-escapades; @bangtanloverboys; @btsxmalereaders

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