loveandshatteredglass

[loveandshatteredglass]

Poison Shack

So many people at this bar I push through the crowd But it feels so empty Like I'm pushing through thick air

Go up to the bartender Order two more longdrinks Say one’s for my sister When I actually came alone

Get another round of shots As well as an absinthe I see others add water to theirs But I just drink it in one go

Alcohol burning my throat Yet not enough for me to stop I only feel a little tickle Not a fire down to my heart

Standing up, elbows on the counter Instead of sitting on a barstool To spare me the embarrassment Of falling over on the floor

Music loud enough that some complain But to me it’s only a soft melody DJ turn the volume up, I need to drown And scream along without earning stares

Spend most of the evening in the back Glued to the Gottlieb pinball machine Eyes fixated on the ball and the score count Throw in a coin round after round after round

Right before I have to leave, I go to the front Request one last song to wildly dance to Down my fresh glass of Bacardi and Coke Head thrown back and hand towards the stars

Stop by the bathroom for a look in the mirror Flashing a sneer and then a blissful grin Adjust my belt and unlock the door Until next time, beloved poison shack

[loveandshatteredglass]

Marianne

Early February and I still find Glitter on the floor from New Year's Eve Shards which sparkle in the sunlight From when I broke a champagne flute

Toasting to what this year may bring May it make all our dreams come true Or at least bring us closer to them Guide the way when we can't find it

Make all our worries disappear Bring us love where there's none And strengthen it where there's some For we can never have enough love

January is always the longest month But so much has already happened I listen to Marianne as tears go by With Lucy Jordan and Baby Blue

Sweeping up shattered glass in the kitchen Reminds me of my heart the day I found out Yet I feel motivated to pick myself up And make her proud, it's not all over now

[loveandshatteredglass]

Southern Boy

Drinking and crying my heart out to strangers Trying repeatedly to sing the pain away By belting out songs you used to show me Back when we had just started talking

Knowing it doesn't even make sense Attempting to get over my feelings for you While reminding myself again and again Of the time when things were easy and light

I keep repressing those thoughts about you I know you once said you're crushing on me But I'm scared you would change your mind Once I even remotely considered acting on it

How could I break off the one single thing That got close to what I've longed for Years of yearning and getting mad at myself For feeling the way I did and still do

Only to think I need to stay true to someone Who already showed me they don't want me And feeling guilty for talking like that to you Yet not guilty in the moment for hurting you

If it's any consolation, it's eating me up Regretted it so much I couldn't bring myself To talk to you when something happened That immediately made me think of you

And I still think of where we could be now If I hadn't panicked, hadn't been ashamed If we had continued and gone with the flow Maybe I would have gotten better sooner

Do you think we can try again or is it too late Did you stop liking me slightly more than that Did you promise yourself you won't get played Like I accidentally did and now wish I hadn't

Talk to me, southern boy, in that raspy voice Play Let It Bleed on that pawn shop guitar Tell me I'm yours and we’ll drive far away Starting over somewhere completely else

[loveandshatteredglass]

Let Go Of My Heart

Almost two years down the road Since you allegedly made a cut Yet kept calling me for months In nightly waves of depression

Not respecting my boundaries Like I'm used to from before Calling me sickly pet names Long after you dumped me

Sucking up to me regularly While sucking strangers’ dicks And you made fun of me for Being older but inexperienced

While you were ready anytime For five other men I knew of I was trying to get back my sanity For another year without a rebound

Fuck up and don’t take criticism Avoid confrontation and responsibility Then turn to cry to our mutual friends Try to make them hate me collectively

You were right when you said I was clingy I should have never gotten so close Shouldn't have been desperate for love Thought I wouldn't get something better

When all that you gave me were Guilt, insecurities, canceled plans Paired with occasional sweetness Which stimulated my imagination

Fantasizing that you really loved me And were serious like you always said When in reality, you bragged about Hitting on other girls behind my back

I chose to ignore it for those 7 months And way beyond until I realized You weren't going to change if I tried You weren't my project to fix at all costs

Tried to rekindle what we once had Then tried to stay friends at least Though I knew it could never work So I dropped you like you dropped me

Now I finally got rid of your shit Tore up your photos and letters Cut up your cassette tapes Stabbed your teddy bear

Take the needle out of your voodoo doll And let me live without your baggage Now it's time to let go of my heart Leave yours to rot on its own

[loveandshatteredglass]

Roxy Sable

Living in a run down California motel Maybe wasn't every little girl's dream But for now it was good enough for her Better than polished but masked suburbs One day she just decided to run away Taking her car and her belongings Leaving her memories without goodbye Driving and driving until she felt at ease Away from all her domestic worries Away from people she used to know And closer to who she wanted to be Closer to where her new life would start San Francisco wasn't the destination Though here she could create her new self Before confidently conquering Los Angeles Where nobody would ever see her weak side On chilly summer nights with the moon out She would sit on her own on the tiny balcony Smoking cigarettes with a notebook on her lap Writing songs which double as diary entries Billboards above the highway confirming That's where she wanted to see her face Music from the radio reminding her again To create something to be remembered by Reach for the stars, even during the day Knowing she'll hold them in her hands Work hard and never think of giving up Before someone else takes your place So she cut her hair and dyed it blonde On a whim in the yellowing sink Put on unusually heavy makeup for her Cut her jeans off and knotted her shirt Put on red satin high heels and a fur coat Before leaving her home of the past weeks She crossed out her name on the notebook And wrote ‘Roxy Sable’ with a star under it

[loveandshatteredglass]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who liked or reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals and followers ⭐️

Omg I didn't even see this, I'm so sorry!!

Gotta be music (including concerts and making music), my friends, writing, dogs, and doing arts and crafts

[loveandshatteredglass]

For Danny

You step on stage and I'm swept off my feet Before you even strum your guitar I know that tonight I'll feel the heat How cliche, front row girl crushes on the star

The way you're keeping eye contact Eyes wide and sticking out your tongue Winking at me during sexual songs in the set I never saw anyone look so hot chewing gum

Your voice when you sing those harmonies And how your skilled fingers play guitar Continuously makes me weak in the knees So I give myself liquid courage at the bar

How your wet hair curls in the pouring rain And your accent when you talk is the cutest thing Your slightly cocky remarks drive me insane I may yearn for love, but I’m fine with a fling

Please keep your arm around my waist And pull me into your side again I like your scent, could I get a taste? Don't care about your age, I want a man

The look in your eyes and the smirk says it all You know that I want you as much as you do Why don't we just make out against the wall And as we sang earlier, I’ll talk dirty to you

Inviting you for shots of your choice Get to know each other before we walk home It's no use chatting over the noise So shut up and let your body do the talking

When you take me to the backstage room It's now my turn to put on a show Only a little quieter but humming a tune You'll be begging for me from below

We philosophized about guitar picks you use Now teach me your fingering technique I might be young but innocence is no excuse Do anything with me, tonight I’ll be your freak

I don't care whether you're single We ain't tired yet so let's mingle Don’t waste more time, give it to me rough I want your bite marks, I want your love

[loveandshatteredglass]

August Melancholy

Every year when August returns I prepare for a 31 day trip through hell The depths of my mind and my heart Swinging from happy to crying my heart out

The time when I miss things I never had Things that were never close enough For me to grasp, and when they were I backed away or didn't realize until too late

It's the childhood summer beach vacations When you were so carefree and gleeful Enjoyed every day in the sand like your last The ocean like the range of dreams you had

The day your parents made you pack up Was the most heartbreaking time after time You couldn't believe it was over already While it felt like you had spent a year there

Sitting in the backseat in complete silence Except for the sound of the road and the radio Playing favorite songs yet not bringing you joy Not listening to the chorus you’d sing along to

Looking at the landscape passing by Driving further away from the fun of the coast And closer to the dull life you lived at home Was it truly home or just place of residence?

The rays of sun coming through the window Not lighting up your mood anymore Only burning a gaping hole into your chest Waiting to be temporarily filled next summer

When you would come back to this place Back to these four weeks of eternity To the sea, the sunsets and clear night skies To the melancholy when it's time to go again

It's the month of loss and mourning Unexplainable melancholy and nostalgia The rotting and dying of beautiful things Without a promise of new beginnings

Waking up every morning with nothing to do Yet the crushing weight of the world on you Reminding yourself in front of the mirror You only need to make it through this week

Repeating like a mantra born out of frustration Until the calm of September comes around And while you’re sad that summer is over You're relieved your mind games are over too

[loveandshatteredglass]

Mademoiselle Mystère

Big blue eyes like that of a child An innocent face with a charming smile Black hair, black eyeliner and red lips Silver rings leading to delicate fingertips

Turning heads of everyone she passes Glancing over the edge of her big sunglasses Swaying her hips and purse as she walks Her voice soft and seductive when she talks

Reading the same book wherever she goes She looks like a rare kind of beautiful rose Like out of the Jardin du Luxembourg A siren with a long list of people she's lured

An ardent lover of all types of the arts You'll find her at galleries and buying cards Of paintings by Warhol, Van Gogh and Monet Or sitting in a theater box following a ballet

She's almost always going places alone And is never seen talking on her phone Then who does she send those cards to? Maybe old friends, you wish she wrote to you

At the restaurant, she only orders wine From the way she drinks, I know why I pine Men waiting to be asked to light her cigarette She knows that what she wants she will get

A cloud of smoke surrounding her face Cigarette held like a lover with gloves of lace Tapping the ash off in a white marble tray I'm captivated, I can't even try to look away

Without eating her pastry, she leaves Quiet and somewhat suspicious like a thief Again on the train, again I follow her way Finding a new place to be but not stay

I adore her yet I've never heard her voice I don't exist to her, I'm like one of those boys She might have noticed I'm everywhere Would I ruin the relationship if I talked to her?

For now I’ll keep watching her from afar If I feel like it, buy her a gin at the bar Perhaps the distance only adds to the appeal And it will be easy if I change the way I feel

[loveandshatteredglass]

A Heart in Winter

With the eyes of a sad and yearning girl Who has seen too much and felt more She looked at me as I spoke to her A look of adoration and hate on her face

Mysterious appearance yet openly talking To me after only a week of seeing each other About things I wouldn't tell my closest friend I can't form an adequate response to her

She confronts me about my lack of feelings And gets up to leave me all by myself I feel bad for not engaging in conversation Yet relieved I can have lunch in silence now

How can one be attracted to a woman Want to seduce her, want her all to yourself But not want to talk about intimate topics Or talk at all, simply be in her presence

Although I enjoy coming to her rehearsals Her presence may not be what I need either Maybe I am just there for the beautiful music Rather than the equally stunning artist

Over time I realize there is a difference Between wanting her and truly loving her Much more I want her to want and love me Without returning those feelings myself

Still I decide to continue playing this game Which I know will hurt everyone involved Perhaps it will even end up hurting myself But why should it affect a heart in winter

The plan works and the next thing I know She asks me to have dinner together And confesses her love for me in the car I admit it's a scheme and I'm not interested

I tell her she had not fallen in love with me But a version she had made up in her head She wants me to be a shy, romantic person Who just longs for someone to fix them

I thought she would value my honesty Over me lying and playing more with her But she refuses to accept the cruel truth And slams the car door shut from outside

It takes me some days to reflect on that night And the whole time I have known her Now when I meet her to admit I have doubts About what I had said and maybe regrets

She is the one who does not listen to me Interrupts me before I can get to the point Shows no interest in talking about it again And sends me away with a frozen heart

Now I am the one who grew to be attracted To the lovely woman from my imagination Instead of who she turns out to be in reality Or who I have made her with my actions

Can nobody change for the better without Someone else getting worse in return? Did the water from my melting ice walls Drop onto her heart and freeze it suddenly?

Now she will be gone for three months Three months of tristesse like it used to be Three months without tensions at the cafe Three months of trying to forget about her

All while I will be reminded of her every day When listening to music or drinking whiskey Strangely I feel lonely and not blissfully alone I want back what I never had and never will

I long to see her, even if for a short moment When I finally do, few words are exchanged Silence longer than the polite phrases Her eyes more often on the window than me

I wash down the lump in my throat with coffee To tell her what I've wanted to since she left But from how she clearly waits to depart I feel it's better to stay silent, maybe forever

A quick kiss as she stands up from her chair A wave as she gets into the car with him Keeping eye contact as they drive away I'm not sure I’ll see her again after tonight

[loveandshatteredglass]

Country roads and Dr Pepper cans

Brown tinted sunglasses on the dashboard You're picking me up from the airport Vintage cowboy boot hitting the gas “Wanna see cool places, yes or yes?”

Blasting music that hits right in the feels Hand loaded with rings on the wheel Flannel shirt clad elbow out the window Rosary dangling from the rearview mirror

Driving down the dusty country road You pull over to take a photo of the billboard “Smoking kills” it says, and you light a cig Then you grab the camera from the backseat

You want to show me around the south As you ramble, I keep staring at your mouth And think of how long it's been that we met Till you ask me to change the cassette

Stop by the store to get some booze Big dreams but they say we're born to lose On and off plans to move to Spain Maybe it'll be easier to romanticize the pain

Cowboy, don't worry, don't stop Come on and take me to the top Don't wanna go home and it's late anyway So we'll sleep in your car and call it a day

[loveandshatteredglass]

A night in the life of a groupie

Always standing in the front at shows Makeup done and wearing sexy clothes Enthusiastically dancing and singing along Hands in the air and stuck out tongue

Giving one of them a sip of your drink Keeping eye contact and receiving a wink Thoughts are spinning in your head How you'll proceed after their set

Grab a setlist before they leave the stage Another one for tonight's diary page Hurry to wait by the backstage door Hoping to receive a private encore

Once they come out, you start to chat They'll ask if you want a cigarette Then light it for you, looking in your eyes Got them hooked, no need for more tries

After a while, you find yourself making out They lead you by the hand through the crowd They quickly take you to another room Having fun till the sun replaces the moon

Sometimes they will drive you home And always leave you some memento Maybe along with their number too In case you feel like a rendezvous

Where would all those bands be If it weren't for girls like you and me Who love and live for music And keep it alive with their tricks

We're the ones to give them attention That gets them widely mentioned Someone's gotta start supporting them Before they have thousands of fans

Then in 20 years we'll be able to say We made fun experiences back in the day And part of the reason that band still exists Is us repeatedly being on their guest lists

[loveandshatteredglass]

For Johnny Thunders

Closer to someone I've never met Than to some people I know Your music as personal to me as can get Tell me why you had to go

Too much too soon You were born to lose just like me More mysterious than the moon Locked in a cage, longing to be free

Tried to put my arms around a memory Seems like I never ever learn You've said it for almost half a century Yet I can do nothing but yearn

All the nights spent on the bedroom floor Crying and listening to all your records Your voice and lyrics shake me to the core You're a rose with equally petals and thorns

I light my cigarette on a candle And for you I blow a smoke halo You're so untouchable Like a distant yet relatable hallow

Now without you I feel so alone If you knew I'm still looking for a kiss Could I summon you from the tombstone So I wouldn't have to miss you

You’d want me to go out so I dress in leather Deep down I know you must still be here Legends are never truly gone forever Still I'll close my eyes and shed a tear

[loveandshatteredglass]

For Rory

Ride or die Laugh and cry Love and lies Lows and highs

Three years is a long time For you I'd commit a crime Talking, dating, breaking up Pining, dumping, making up

Stupid enough to cut you off For a guy who couldn't love Risk my strongest friendship To please some selfish dipshit

Yet smart enough to reunite Grateful to have you by my side I'll never let that happen again I won't be as blind as back then

Venting about those ugly boys Who think we are just their toys Text me in the middle of the night Tell me who I need to fight

Discussing stuff as trivial as it gets Trusting each other with our secrets Sending music that reminds me of you Making plans we will pull through

How ironic that I, the biggest advocate For not talking to who you used to date Am now best friends with my own ex But then again, our case is very complex

Let's make a blood pact and drink a shot We'll always be together, no matter what Forgive the heartache and things we said At you, I could never be permanently mad

[loveandshatteredglass]

For Ashley

She's been there for me for years Her lovely voice like music in my ears Messages of encouragement and pride Open arms and her smile so wide

Warrant sang about her in Mr. Rainmaker Permanent sunshine, I wanna take her On a trip to the places she wants to go Exploring Italy from Milan to Palermo

Late night conversations about random stuff I'll ruin my sleep schedule anytime, love Listening to my 90s playlist, thinking of you Also watching 10 Things I Hate About You

Talking about moving to LA together We'll be broke, but living somewhere better Strolling through Hollywood as if we're stars Spending our evenings at gigs in rock bars

Driving underneath the California sun Singing along to music and having fun Just arrived but never want to leave this place Raise our glasses, this one's for the gays

[loveandshatteredglass]

Read Thoughts of 2023, my first poetry collection

Thank you: @jwowwsboobs @rickhunolt @oscah @emometalhead @smokeandmirrorz @junkyardromeo

[loveandshatteredglass]

21st century Stiv Bators

Sweaty and loud, snotty and proud Bringing some life into the boring crowd Tonight we're blowing this place up Then calm our nerves with a hookup

Crawling on the stage right in front of me Sprawled across boxes and on your knees Doing the mic cable strangling trick Come on let me kiss you, 21st century Stiv

Breaking glasses and smoking indoors Shoe soles sticking to the club floor Why don't you spill another beer So everyone will know we were here

Distorted riffs hammering in my ears Still going crazy at each show after years You sing about nasty nights and I wink at you If only you knew what I'm planning to do

Scribbling on bathroom walls, modern art Written in lipstick, our names in a heart Feels like we'll live forever for tonight And tomorrow get resurrected by streetlights