#like 1st of all - the man is like 10 years older than me

[almondmilknosugar]

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[lucigoo]

Weekly roundup: 1st August - 31st August

(I know its technically a month, but like the last one, its just until I catch up lol)

I wrote 13 fics in August, totalling 88,453 words so im pretty proud of that.

As always, recs first and then my fics under the cuts <3

Ringbearers - CQueen - The Hobbit (2012) (Bilbo/Thorin, aftelrife shennigans!!!!)

Summary: Having crossed over to the afterlife together Frodo decides to play matchmaker and insists that he and his uncle must go on an adventure together. What do they seek? Why his uncle's long dead friends, particularly Thorin Oakenshield.

Washing Day - StupidFatPenguin - The Hobbit - All Media Types (Bilbo/Thorin, Viking au!)

Summary: “What do you mean you bathe more than once per season?”

After only a short while of travelling with his heathen captors, Bilbo discovers that the tales of the fearsome, filthy and savage Northmen from his childhood might be much closer to great inaccuracy than the actual truth.

Dwalin Guards Thorin's Heart - SunnyRose - The Hobbit - All Media Types (Bilbo/Thorin, Dwalin & Bilbo, as always, @sunnyrosewritesstuff's fics are amaing!)

Summary: After the Carrock, Thorin pulls Dwalin aside asking him to protect his One from harm. Dwalin had no idea how difficult a task this was going to be, but the Burglar is an accident magnet!

The Tweed Fairy - lisellelascelles - The Hobbit (Jackson Movies) (Bilbo/Thorin, I rarely read smut, but when i do, its usually @lisellelascelles as it i smut with feelings, the only kind I like, and I adore this one!)

Summary: After working in the States for more than a decade, Thorin goes back to England to help his recently widowed older sister, and reconnect with his extended family. It’s early summer, the UEFA championship is firing up, and everyone meets in the local pub to watch the historic England vs. Scotland match. There he sees a small fellow all dolled up with tweed trousers and braces and a ridiculous retro football T-shirt underneath. He mocks him, coming across as a massive twat and a bigot to boot, without knowing the man is his cousin’s boyfriend’s best friend. When he later has an opportunity to redeem himself, what can he do but grab it and squeeze it…?

Take me as I am - phiaura - The Witcher (TV) (Geralt/Jaksier, please mind the tags, but it is SO good!)

Summary: Thus, a deal was struck, a treaty agreed upon. Rivia would not take military action against any allied kingdom and in turn, the kingdoms would provide the king of Rivia with a consort. So far, that last bit was the part of the treaty that had gone to shit. As far as Jaskier had understood, up to now the White Wolf had turned down all the proffered brides. If a consort was not approved, the treaty would be null and void.

Where Jaskier is the last chance of fulfilling the requirements of a treaty between the warlord of Rivia, and the allied kingdoms. Will it prove to be his rescue or his doom?

Pieces Tossed Aside - Anagrrl - Firefly (Malcom/Simon, aplocalypse au,)

Summary: Paquin goes silent. Everything else follows. AU set after the TV series.

I hope theres at least on foc for you all to enjoy, have a good week <3

Now for my fics, bare with me, when we get back to actual weekly roundups these lists will be much smaller lol.

The gold of your eyes is worth more then all of my medals (Sirius/Remus, olympics Au)

Summary: After a disastorous drunk driving crash caused by Siirus he ran from Remus, the love of his life.

10 years later and Remus is watching as the only man he has ever loved gains his fourth Olympic gold medal, now if only he owuld smile at Remus the way he is at the camera.

The Babes of War (Gen fic, pleae mind the tags, it tooks of child soldiers, im still not over the fact that 16 year old Gloin was at war!!!, also thank you so much to @mrkida-art for all the Tolkein canon information they provided which helped me write this fic)

Summary: Thror has taken to many dwarves to fight at Azanulbizar. This includes a 16 year old Gloin and his cousins, none of whom are of age.

A story of child soldiers whose whole world changes after one disatorous battle caused by a gold mad king.

Not Dorcas the Orca, two of three Marauders and a jail cell (Sirius/Remus, James Potter. Another self indulgant fic for my Wolfstar fandom family, they know who they are <3)

Summary: Sirius and James once again find themselfs in a jail cell with Dorcas (who was once an orce in this very same cell) only this isn't really Dorcas, even though they look exactly like them, huh?

Gollum's song (Bilbo & Gollum, mind the tags, MCDs)

Summary: Bilbo's heart is broken as he tries to recover as much as possible at Beorn's after BOFTA. He needs all the strenght he can regain because he has a new Quest to go on.

One where he may save another lost to the darkness the Ring causes.

That house was not a home:I never meant to leave you there alone (Sirius/Remus, Sirius & Regulus, Minor character death, grief)

Summary: Sirius wakes up in morning, reads the Daily Prophet and his whole life was suddenly changed.

The world is cruel and dark and he needs his brother who is forever gone.

There's no way out: the door is barred by the demon in my lovers skin (Bilbo/Thorin, please mind the tags, MCD, DD:DE!)

Summary: Thorin has never recovered from the Dragon sickness and ow it is Bilbo who is suffering because of it.

He is trapped and alone under Thorin's thumb and fists.

Bilbo just wants his dwarf back, instead he has a monster wearing Thorin's face hurting him.

It Was Never What It Seemed (Bilbo/Thorin, please mind the tags, it has some upsetting themes, but this, THIS is a fic i sent moe than a year on. If i never wrote anythig again, it would be ok because I managed to write and finish this particular fic A huge thank you to @sunnyrosewritesstuff for all their help writing it and for the title itself, and to @brandileigh2003 for all the emotional support i needed when writing the heavier hitting chaps. Thank you both, i appreciate it so much <3)

Summary: It has been 8 years since Bilbo has lest stepped foot in Erebor. He needs to talk to his husband, especially as he is now about to marry another. Another who is not Bilbo.

Bilbo left and when he did he left Thorin broken hearted. Now he is to marry a Blacklock Princess, consequences be damned.

Follow along with our favourite dwarf and hobbit as they find their way back to one another, No matter how painful the journey is.

Violets for the one I adore (Percy/Viktor, written for @flashfictionfridayofficial's prompt - Gifted violets)

Summary: Viktor has been a retired house husband and stay-at-home dad for 4 months now. Percy has never been happier.

There's a monster under my bed (Gen fic, Percy & Fred & George Weasley, written for the @change-is-perceivable fest)

Summary: There's a monster in Percy's room and no one will help him deal with it. Instead he is facing his bedroom door, wondering if anyone will care if the monster eats him.

It's hard being the good boy in such a large, chaotic family sometimes.

Don't try and drink your grief away (Gen fic, Percy & Geroge & Harry, grief, alcoholism, also written for the @change-is-perceivable fest)

Summary: Percy is blaming himself for Fred's death, after all he is the one who spoke to him, joked with him last.

He isn't coping well and has resorted to drinking.

Drunk Percy does something unthinkingly. Something he can't remember doing.

Destined Embrace: The Love That Healed the Noldor (Fingon/Maedhros (Tolkien), written for the @tolkienrsb, wih amaing art form the talented @wisteria53)

Summary: Fingon is going to rescue his best friend, his possibly something more, Maedhros, no matter what it takes.

Fingon is going to rescue his best friend, his possibly something more, Maedhros, no matter what it takes.

He is going to take him home to Gondolin and keep him safe. Maybe their friendship will grow along with their feelings of safety.

In the Darkness, You are My Shining Star (Gimli/Legolas, also written for @tolkienrsb, but this one has amazing art from @babybat98. I was paired with another amazing artist <3)

Summary: The Trope of Thorin Oakeshield are excavation miners in the depths of space working hard to feed and support their fledgling colony.

The neweest recruits have been allowed into space. Gimli Gloinson is one of those recruits. he is oging to learn how scary space can be, but also how very rewarding it can be too.

Back to where we belong (Ron/Hermione, as part of the Love of Fest Discord server, for the flash comp - Back to roots fest)

Summary: It's time to pick this years family holiday.

Ron knows where he wants to go. He wants to go back, he wants to go home.

[dumbassprompts]

Catradora Baseball AU

Modern AU where women’s Major League Baseball actually exists and is popular! Catra and Adora grew up playing on the same little league team – Catra’s foster mom was obsessed with the idea of the kids she took in becoming professional athletes – but went their separate ways when Adora’s parents died, and her older sister Mara moved them out of town.

10 years later, Adora has been drafted by the Brightmoon Mets and is due to start playing for their Triple-A team, the Moonstone Mets as First Basewoman/Designated Hitter. Her first game is a home game against the Black Garnet Giants (their division rivals), and there is buzz among the crowd and the players because the Giants have a new star pitcher fresh up from Double-A. When Adora steps up to the plate, she is beyond shocked to see her former teammate Catra Alvarez atop the pitcher’s mound.

The story follows the two women’s interactions as new rivals throughout the first half of the regular season as they vie for promotion to the majors, complete with confrontations, hit-by-pitches, injury scares and eventual reconciliation, all leading up to the trade deadline where Adora is called up to Brightmoon’s major league roster, and Catra is traded to the Moonstone Mets with the promise that she’ll be given a shot to pitch in the majors in the next season.

The Teams

Here's where things get nerdy and granular. If you couldn't tell by my choice of team names, I'm a big New York Mets fan, so I've used the players on that team as a bit of a guide for which character types should be playing which position. I'll explain:

The Moonstone Mets

Adora (1st Base/Designated Hitter)

I've essentially based Adora's baseball profile on Pete Alonso, the 1st baseman of the NY Mets. The vibes are Blonde Power Hitter, hyper serious on the field, labrador off the field. Adora reads to me as the type of player who would rise to stardom quickly by hitting a lot of big home runs, but could just as easily fall apart if she gets in her head.

Glimmer (Catcher)

Glimmer is kind of a mix between Kevin Costner's character from Bull Durham (snarky, but secretly kinda wise leader type) and Mets catcher Francisco Alvarez (life of the party vibes). Also catchers tend to be on the shorter side.

Mermista (Short Stop)

Short stop is just a really technically demanding role that requires all sorts of different skill sets. Mermista reads as hyper-competent, but super nonchalant about it.

Frosta (2nd Base)

Also a position more suited to shorter players, but I mainly put Frosta here because she has Jeff McNeil vibes, i.e. angry as hell when things aren't going her way, and extatic when they are.

Perfuma (Starting Pitcher)

Pitchers are often tall and lanky, but more than anything else, good pitching often boils down to an ability to stay out of your own head and not let the pressure get to you. I thought of Yusei Kikuchi as inspiration for perfuma - the man has talked about sleeping and reading an absolutely ungodly amount for a working athlete - a truly zen pitcher would be dangerous.

Netossa (Designated Hitter/1st Base)

For Netossa I thought of J.D. Martinez, an older, more experienced player who essentially doubles as part of the coaching staff.

Spinnerella (3rd Base)

Honestly, I just needed somone recogniseable to play at 3rd... no shade to Spinny.

Juliet (Centre Field)

Starla (Right Field)

Tallstar (Left Field)

Bow (Batting Coach)

Seeing as this is women's baseball, Bow couldn't be a player, but I do really like the idea of him in a teaching role. Bow has a level head and technical expertise, so having him giving Adora technical (and, let's be real, emotional) guidance made a lotta sense to me.

Micah (Manager)

Can't have a SPOP modern AU without a bit of Brightmoon family nepotism.

Angella (Brightmoon Mets General Manager)

The Black Garnet Giants

Catra (Starting Pitcher)

Obviously Catra is a volatile character, and totally the opposite of how I described Perfuma as a pitcher, but she reads to me as someone with insane technical ability who could be let down by a tendancy to lose control. Unbeatable when she's in the zone, and calamitous when she isn't.

Lonnie (Catcher)

I liked the idea of having someone at catcher who can work well with Catra, but wouldn't be afraid to give her shit when she isn't in the zone, hence Lonnie.

Scorpia (Designated Hitter)

Scorpia seems the type to be able to hit hard and often, but is clumsy enough that she might have trouble with defence. No fielding for Scorpia.

Octavia (Short Stop)

Huntara (1st Base)

Huntara makes sense at first base in the same way Adora does to me - someone who can hit well, and stay steady on their feet to catch out a runner.

Emily (2nd Base - okay, I was reaching with this one)

Flutterina (Centre Field - ... this one too)

DT (Pitching Coach)

Obviously I wanted DT in a position where they can mess with Catra's head. It's what they're best at!

Hordak (Manager)

Prime (Garnet City Giants General Manager)

Clearly this prompt is heavily inspired by A League of Their Own, one of the all-time great sports movies. But, I like the idea of making it more career/goal driven, and having Adora and Catra be on opposing teams from the get go. Having them end up playing for the same franchise after making eachother better by playing against eachother, and growing closer in the process, feels like a particularly satisfying end point.

[lvrsturniolo]

chapter 00.

Backstory of Slytherin!Chris x Sweet,Slytherin!OC and how they met on the way to hogwarts!!

a/n: hey guys I just wanted to say this quickly before there was any confusion, I know that Harry Potter was based in 1991! I just wanted to change it up because I know much more now about how people talk more so then at that time, and it’ll just feel easier for me aswell as helping me be able to write better and more knowledgeable, thank you!!!

(young aurora)

September 1st, 2018 (auroras story)

Fall. Scarves, sweaters, crisp morning air, pretty leaves, and so much more. This is auroras absolute favorite time of the year. And this year, fall is a little more important to her. Last month in the mail, Aurora and her brother, Lorenzo, finally got their letters to attend Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Aurora has been dreaming of this moment since she was just a young girl, and she is so happy that he’s getting to live through this with her best friend, who’s also her older brother. People often get the two confused as twins; they were born 10 months apart so, technically they are. The term Irish twins is used when two or more siblings were born within 12 months of each other or less. Lorenzo was born December 12th, 2005, and Aurora was born in October of the next year; the 8th, to be exact. Making Lorenzo currently 13, and Aurora almost 13.

Auroras POV:

Our father just bid us goodbye and good luck at Platform 9 and 3/4. At first I was confused because I didn’t know where to go, but then I saw this little readhead boy run through a brick wall, so I followed him, along with Lorenzo. Once on the bus I felt a bit awkward, there were a ton of kids I didn’t know just kind of staring as I walked by. Soon enough Enzo and I stumble upon an empty seat, and take it immediately.

Around 5 minutes later, someone sits next to us, or more like two people. it was a small boy with curly hair and the cutest smile ever, and a slightly taller boy with an almost grim expression on his face, he was much paler than the small one, but they had similar features, so I could tell they were somehow related.

“Hi! Mind if me and my brother sit with you guys? It’s pretty crowded out there and the last two people we asked said no” the small boy said with a sweet grin on his face

“Of course! I’m Aurora, and I like your hair!” I say back to him with just as wide of a smile.

“Thanks! My names Mattheo, this is my brother Tom, he doesn’t speak a lot, he doesn’t really like people” he says, getting comfortable in his seat next to me.

“I’m Lorenzo, you can call me Enzo tho. I’m her brother” enzo speaks, a bit loud, same as Mattheo.

“Nice to meet you” Mattheo replies excitedly.

“You have a pretty name.” Tom states plainly, “the both of you have very interesting ones” he has a bit of a solemn expression on his face, cold and dark.

“Thank you. I’m named after my mother”

I miss my mother. She passed when I was small, the ministry used a forbidden spell on her for being a death eater.

A few minutes pass, Enzo and I are still chatting away with mattheo and sometimes Tom will butt in aswell.

“I seriously can’t believe it’s finally time for Hogwarts! I mean im so exc-” bang A loud clatter focuses our attention to the isle of the train. Candy and snacks strewn all around the floor and a boy around my age is apologizing over and over for bumping into the man with the trolly of candy he just knocked over. The boy was very cute, that caught my eye first. He was about an inch shorter than me with brown hair and bright blue eyes. I guess I was staring too long becuase he caught eyes with me.

I immediately turn my head away, embarrassed of getting caught.

dividers by @bernardsbendystraws!!

(young chris)

September 1st 2018 (chris’s story)

Months, Christopher had been waiting months and his letter to hogwarts finally came! He’d been caught up in the magic world since he was young. His father was murdered infront of him by the ministry of magic, he was only 7. He use to hate magic, it murdered his own father in cold blood, there was nothing to love about it. But his mother made sure he learned that there was good to magic aswell. After a while, he grew to enjoy it a little more, and then he learned about Hogwarts, and since then, he’s been very excited to leave for it. And today was the day he’d leave for Hogwarts. He hugged his mother goodbye, and ran through the wall to get on the hogwarts express. He actually ran into the wrong wall first, leaving him with a bit of a busted lip, but he’s fine now.

Chris’s POV:

“Shit- I mean shoot” I yell, grabbing my lower face as my lip splits open. I ran into the stupid wrong wall. I kick the wall, bad idea. Before I could hurt myself some more I turned the other way and ran into the correct wall, easing through to another station; platform 9 n 3/4. I quickly hop in the train and try to find a seat but every single one seems to be taken. I was looking in the rooms, not the isle like I should’ve been. This caused me to run right into a short chubby man pushing a trolly, snacks and sweets fell out all into the isle.

“Oh my goodness I’m so sorry I promise I didn’t mean to do that. H-here let me help you”

I continued repeating apologies, but I kept feeling eyes on me. So I look around until my eyes land into one of the rooms. I see a girl staring at me, the prettiest girl I’d ever seen. She had the most beautiful blonde hair, and a pretty little polka dotted pink and white dress, with a little white scarf. She looked away from me before I could even blink.

After helping the man pick up everything I’d knocked over, I walked into the room with the girl and three other boys.

“Mind if I sit with you guys? Every other seat is taken”

I notice the girl scoot over a little and pat the seat beside her, I gratefully accept and sit next to her

“Thank you. I’m Chris, you guys are?”

“I’m Aurora” the girl quietly says, her voice soft and very sweet.

“This is my brother, Lorenzo. And this is Tom and Mattheo! We’ve just met them aswell.”

“Nice to meet you all. Oh dude I love your wand, it’s sick!” I say to the boy sitting infront of me, he’s either mattheo or Tom.

“Thanks! I’m mattheo, this is my brother Tom. He’ll just absolutely talk your head off” he says the last part a bit sarcastically, causing a giggle from the girl beside me.

mel speaks~ HI GUYS!! I HOPE YOU ENJOY THISSS. I’m going to make hcs for Chris next, then I think I’m gonna start writing a full fic with some blurbs and small things like that aswell!!!! If anyone has ideas or suggestions for any of that then let me know and I’ll try to get on it!

[jpt1311summerbnixautumn]

Convention Blog Post

On August 1st, 2021, I went to Tampa Comic Con with my dad. This was the first and only convention I've ever been to, but I'm planning on going again with my dad this year at the end of August. At the time I was 15 and a very anxious teen so i was SO stressed about going and being judged. I had planned to cosplay as Nobara from Jujutsu Kaisen, but I decided last minute not to wear it because I didn't want to be embarrassed if I saw someone I knew while walking into the convention center (for context I lived an hour away from Tampa and there was no way I would see anyone I knew but you know when you're nervous you don't think clearly). I was very into manga and anime back then, and I was going with my dad because he's HUGE on Marvel and DC Comics, which I am also still interested in. I didn't have any big expectations going in, or really any sort of plan. I was hoping to buy some Chainsaw Man merch but that was really all I thought of ahead of time.

The convention was 3 days long: a Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. We decided to go on Sunday, when tickets were reduced and the convention closed earlier than it had the previous days. We also got there as soon as it opened, and I was praying that both of these conditions would make for it to be not nearly as busy as I was anticipating, but I never could've imagined how insanely packed it was. From the short walk to the parking lot to the center, we passed numerous people decked out in cosplays of all kinds. Some just wearing shirts with their favorite characters, others wearing an outfit that they bought from Amazon most likely, and a few people adorned in completely homemade cosplays that they had clearly spent days, if not weeks, completing. I didn't wear a cosplay because I thought I would be one of the only ones, but it turned out that my normal clothes were actually in the minority. After going through the long process of entering, getting our wristbands, and traversing the center to make it to the convention space, I was amazed at how many people I had already passed. And my shock only grew as we stepped inside the large room. The space was like a labyrinth, a maze with walls of tables and booths, filled with all kinds of merchandise. I had thought that fanmade anime merch like keychains and art prints would be the main thing being sold, but I was very wrong. There was a GIANT section right next to the entrance that was just at least 10 long tables of boxes filled with vintage comics. There were multiple woodworking booths that sold beautifully intricate sculptures and wall art that were all well over $300 (which seemed a very appropriate price for the amount of detail that was hand carved). It's easy to say that I was very overwhelmed by all this.

I have always LOVED people watching, and I've never been to a better place to do so than this convention. After walking around for about an hour just taking all of the information in, my dad and I went to a little snack stand and each got a cheeseburger and a drink. The few tables they had were full, so we sat against a wall and surveyed the crowd. People of all ages were cosplaying and interacting. I saw one middle aged man dressed as Batman go up to a kid dressed as the Joker who couldn't have been older than 12 and start pretending to have a rivalry with him. There were so many group costumes for things I couldn't have even imagined cosplaying. Another teenage girl was sat on the floor a few feet away from me with her group of friends, wearing her interpretation of Bill Cipher from the show Gravity Falls. It genuinely filled me with so much joy to be able to watch all of these diverse groups come together to just celebrate what they like. I was so nervous going in, but everyone there seemed so friendly and at ease, I couldn't help but feel a lot less embarrassed.

My dad and I sat on the floor for about an hour and finished our food, and we went to explore the rest of the convention. We stopped at almost every booth, and I had bought 2 things along the way, a Gojo Satoru poster for my friend's birthday, and a Neon Genesis Evangelion shirt for my other friend's birthday (all of our birthdays are within a week from each other so it was nice to be able to get their gifts all in one spot). The event didn't really seem like my dad's cup of tea, and I was getting worried that he wasn't having fun, but he reassured me that he was just enjoying walking around and hanging out. After 3 hours of being under bright fluorescent lights and surrounded by people and bright colors, we were both starting to get a headache and decided it was time for us to head out. I know lots of people stay at conventions from open to close every day that they run, and I have to give MAJOR props to them because I am not nearly strong enough for that. On the way out, my dad and I passed a booth that we missed before that was selling $5 vintage tees. I dragged him over to look and was SO excited because all of the shirts they had were actually really cool. He bought 2 Marvel shirts, and I was very happy that he wan't leaving empty handed. I also got 2 shirts, an oversized graphic tee of the 1987 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles show that my dad made me watch as a kid, and a Def Leppard shirt that I still wear to this day (shown below in a picture way too big for this post but it won't let me make it smaller).

3 years later, as a much more confident college student, I can't wait to return to Tampa Comic Con. I'm planning on wearing a Sailor Moon cosplay that I wore for halloween last year (added below in case anyone wanted to see), and after my previous experience, I'm no longer nervous about being judged. Comic Con is a place where the only requirement to be accepted is to be kind <3

(So so sorry this is over 1k words I just got really into writing about my experience and reminiscing. Please don't dock any points I'm just overly passionate)

[kimmysurveyblog]

54

What do you want for your birthday? I have no idea. Staple clothing items are always appreciated, like socks or a sweater.

What’s your favorite flavor of tea? Mint with honey is all I ever drink (when sick).

What’s your favorite fall drink? Pumpkin cream cold brew!

What’re you going to be for Halloween? A tired mom. I truly don't care for this holiday at all. Counting the days until Nov 1st so I can go into CHRISTMAS MODE! :)

Do you think you’ve learned a lot and grown a lot in the past year? For sure. I've been the mom of a toddler which is difficult of course, but also my Mom died. I don't have any living parents. It's been quite the year. I'm very excited for a fresh start in 2 months!

Are you satisfied with how you’ve spent your year? Yes! I'm in the era of my life where I'm 100% focused on my young child and have little time or energy for much else. I'm proud of myself for getting into the habit of exercising while she naps. :)

Do you have a lot of friends? No.

Do you own a yellow scarf? No.

Do you own anything leopard print? Nope.

Will you buy a cake for your next birthday? Yes!

Are you excited for something currently? Halloween, I guess. My daughter will be excited.

If you could change just one thing about your life right now, what would it be? I have this dark cloud hanging over me lately and I'd like it to go away.

What’s your favorite color? Purple.

Are you artistic? Nope.

When was that last time you drew a picture in a sketchbook? Years ago. That used to be one of my hobbies.

Is there a tree right outside your bedroom window? No.

Have you ever dressed up as a witch on Halloween? Probably.

Have you ever been to a masquerade? No.

Do you eat vegetables? Rarely. It's one thing I struggle with.

Is there anybody you think is hot over the age of 40? Several.

Did anything bad happen to you in August? I don't think so.

Who in your phone has a heart after their name? Boyfriend.

Do you think your last ex deserves to die? No.

Do any girls like the last guy you kissed? Maybe.

Have you done anything sexual today? No.

Do you have a second mom? There was an older woman I met online who I considered my second mom and she really stepped up when my dad died + my mom basically abandoned me. She passed away about 10 years ago now. I miss her so much.

Other than your name, what was the last name someone called you? Mommy.

If you could find one long lost friend of the past, who would it be? No idea.

Was your sixth grade teacher a man or a woman? Man.

Have you ever had any teeth pulled? Yes.

Do you wash your hair or your body first when taking a shower? Hair.

Have you ever eaten something other people might think is gross? Nah.

When was the last time you colored with crayons? Yesterday. I have a toddler lol.

When you were a kid, who was your best pal? I had many throughout the years.

Have you ever been to a nursing home? Visited people, and worked in one.

Do you own any board games? Maybe.

Were you born in the state you live in? Province and yes.

Have you ever lived in a house that has been broken into? No.

Who do you know that watches the most sports? My boyfriend's mom and stepdad.

Have you ever been 4-wheeling? No.

Will you be attending any weddings in the near future? I just got a save the date in the mail today! Next September.

Do you live anywhere near the woods? Yes.

Do you have any important anniversaries you celebrate? Mine & my boyfriend's, and my parents.

What’s your favourite brand of energy drink? Monster.

Do you have (or have you ever had) acne? I had a few zits during puberty (and pregnancy lol) but not much else fortunately.

What will be the next concert you attend? Nooo idea.

Can you rap? No.

What do you usually order when you’re at McDonald’s? Two big mac combos and a happy meal.

Do you like to wear long, dangling earrings? No.

Do you pay any attention to your country’s politics? Yes.

Tell me about the sickest you’ve ever felt. I had Norovirus as an adult and it fucking sucked.

Any important birthdays coming up? Nope.

Fireworks: yay or nay? I hate them. Think of the last long car trip you had, where did you go? No idea. I haven't done a long car trip in years.

Do you have a Twitter account that you use regularly? No.

Have you ever seen a horseshoe crab? They’re scary, right?! No.

Do you like people watching and is it something you do often? If so, where are your favorite locations to do so? No.

The last time you ate leftovers, what was it that you were eating? Pizza.

What is your favorite board that you've made on Pinterest? ACNH inspo.

Do you get on Facebook or Instagram more? Ohhh no idea. Both equally maybe.

What was the last thing you ate or drank that was blue raspberry-flavored? Candy probably.

What was the last song you listened to? A song from the Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack probably. My toddler is OBSESSED right now.

Have you discovered any new hobbies in the past couple months? Exercise maybe? I've been doing this since the beginning of June.

What's the wildest animal you've ever come in contact with? No idea.

Do you ever question if your mother loves you? No.

What is your favorite type of Lunchables? The pizza one.

Are any of your siblings' friends like family to you? Yes, one of them.

Do you have any friends who you exchange memes with? Of course.

Are you in any Discord servers? How often do you use them? I'm in several but I only actively use one related to parenting and the "couple" Discord I have with my boyfriend. Highly recommend!! It's so freaking useful, especially now that we have a kid.

Have you ever had to see an emergency vet after hours? Yes. My ex stepped on my dog accidentally. She was fine thankfully.

When was the last time you sat under a blanket on a couch? No idea.

Can you bite into ice cream or are your teeth too sensitive? No idea.

Do you know anyone who's been bitten by a snake? No.

Do you prefer strawberries or cherries? Strawberries.

Biggest insecurity? My stomach. It's always been my biggest insecurity but that's obviously worse since having a child.

Describe your mom with one word. Missed.

Do you like fast food or does it disgust you? I enjoy it. We usually get it once a week.

Who was the last person you kissed? Bf.

What’s your favourite alcoholic drink? Craft beer.

Do you like the smell of BBQs? Yes!

Do wasps scare you? No.

Have you ever worn flip flops in the snow? Yesss all the time in the Winter to take out the garbage or get/take out the dog. I should really just buy a pair of slip on shoes.

Have you ever heard people having sex in the next room? No.

Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? No.

Have you ever lost your voice? Last time I got sick.

Did you ever have an emo or scene phase? Yup.

Could you see yourself having a child with the last person you kissed? We have one child. :)

Which of the guys you’ve been interested in hurt you the most? Ex bf.

Do you know anyone who is engaged? Cousin.

What are you listening to? Cars going by.

What was the last thing you looked up on Google? Sugar cookie recipe.

Ever been kissed on the leg? Maybe?

Do you think you are ready to be on your own (have your own home, job, etc.)? Yes of course.

Are you friends with someone who’s autistic? Yes.

Have you ever had a Big Mac? Yes!

[elahna-elahna]

(this is my personal fanfic about my own MC and love Interest)

- Chapter 1 -

Isabella

♡

"Isabella!'' all three of my brothers called out. We were currently playing hide and seek. And I was winning, they had been looking for me for hours. I was a master at Hide and Seek; they never found me. The trick to Hide and Seek is to move around, hiding in places they had already looked. After waiting ages, I got bored so I decided to come out. As I’m walking out of the pantry all 3 of my brothers suddenly pop out from around the corner scaring all of us. *beep *beep *beep, the sound of my alarm clock waking me up from my dream. "ISABELLA ROSA MARTINO, WAKE UP NOW" my oldest brother Pierce yells at me from across the hall.

I was going to be late again. I'm the youngest of three siblings, me and my brothers are only a few years apart. Pierce is the “oldest” by like 10 seconds compared to his twin brother Nico. Me and my last brother Kia are identical twins but he’s still 5 seconds older. I heard the sound of a car beep, it was my friend Callies car that she got for the new school year. It's the first week back of school and I'm already going to be late two days in a row. I really need to set a backup alarm so I’m not late all the time. I hurry up, get changed, brush my teeth, and run downstairs and out of the house. While passing by my 3 brothers. I hop into Callie's new car and we start driving. I am so jealous of her because she's 16 and I'm still only 15 meaning she can legally drive. Callie is only one year older than me because she was held back in 1st grade. My birthday is in august, so I have to wait a while for my next one. But at least it's in the summer, and who doesn't love summer birthdays.

While she is driving I take a peek at my phone to see texts from my dad. I open them and there's a ton of him yelling that I better not be late for school again. If you have an Asian dad you would understand. My dad is super strict about school and my grades. If I came home with anything below an A plus he would kill me.

My 3 brothers are super overprotective and won't let me do anything. On the first day of high school, some boys tried to talk to me. My 3 brothers told all the boys to leave me alone or they would beat them up. And trust me my brothers never lost a fight. They are always treating me like a baby. They would not let me out of their sight, and I could never go out to any sleepovers or parties. I just got used to it after a while. I just stayed in my room cuddling my stuffed animal in my bed. My mom are the closest in my family. Now enough with the chit-chat about my life let's talk about the present.

School is always boring, with the same people, same teachers, and even more homework. After school I had practice and I didn't want to sit there for hours so I decided to walk home. I mainly walked home because it was a pretty long walk and I wanted to listen to my new playlist that I made the night before. I was not really paying attention and I wound up walking down this alley. As I was about to turn back around and find another route to my house. Three guys who looked like seniors walked toward me. They corner me and now all three of them are around me in a small circle. “Where are you going, sweets?” the biggest guy says. “Get away from me perv!” I say pushing him. He looks at his friends and starts laughing.

“Baby girls are a little aggressive,” he says, pushing me against a wall. His other two friends hold my arms and he slaps me. The slap hurt bad and I could tell that was gonna leave a mark. The man held up his hand to smack me again but then someone grabbed his wrist. “Don’t touch her” the voice boomed. The mystery guy pulled the guy's head with his other hand and slammed it into the concrete. The other two guys quickly run away and the mystery guy stands right in front of me. He grabs both my shoulders making me flinch a little, “Hi I’m Vannie, are you okay?” he says with worry in his eyes looking for any other scratches. “Yeah, I’m ok thanks, and I’m Isabella!” I replied hesitantly. He puts one hand on the cheek that got slapped and rubs it softly.

“Let me drive you home Princess,” he asks politely, I nod hesitantly since he was a stranger after all. He grabs my hand and leads me to his car. The inside of his car smelled like lavender, it wasn't a strong smell but a light and soft smell. He started up the car and then turned to me, “Where do you live?” he asked. “212 Westfield Avenue”, I answered, making him nod and start to drive. After about 10 minutes we arrived at my house. “Thanks for the ride, Vannie, and thank you for saving me,” I say, turning to face him. “Do you always walk home?”, he says, stopping me from leaving. “Um, sometimes it really depends on when my brothers have football practice”, I responded. “Give me your number, and I’ll drive you to and from school,” He says quickly. “You don’t have”, he cut me off by grabbing my phone from my lap and inputting his number in it. “Don’t be afraid to call or text me”, He says.

I nod, open the car door, and walk out. As soon as I walk through the front door I see all three of my brothers standing right in front of me. “ISABELLA WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?” Pierce yells. “A friend gave me a ride, and we stopped to get something to eat. '' I lied. The reason I lied was because, If my brother found out what happened and that a boy was picking me up every day they would freak out. “Ok, next time Isa tell us before you go ok?” Kia was the only one out of the three that didn't look mad. “Ok, I’m sorry I’ll text you next time, love you guys good night,” I say walking upstairs and into my room.

I walked to my bed, bent down, and grabbed a book from underneath the mattress. I flopped on my bed and opened the book to the page I was on. I started reading and fading into the book. I like reading romantic books even though I have never liked someone like that. I have always wanted to be in a lovey-dovey relationship. But my brothers would never let me date or barely talk to a boy. I read stories, imagining the bittersweet love they have in the book. And I long for that feeling, that connection that brings a couple together like that. To experience that kind of love that even if they don’t love you, you would love them even harder.

What If I never meet someone who will fulfill my dreams of love. So great that it might not happen. So for now that feeling remains in my dreams, hoping one day I will have just enough strength to open my heart to love. Will I ever meet someone that will love me for who I am? Love me for my smartness and my kindness and not for my body. I take the time to gain insight into each relationship and love story. And waiting until it's finally my turn. I pay attention to the advice the author gives me throughout the story. Hoping one day my love story will be a book too. And gaining a bigger understanding of what a healthy relationship looks like.

But to never feel that kind of love is unbearable. After reading a little part of my book, I slowly fell asleep. I wake up abruptly to my brothers banging on my bedroom door. My first brother yells,” DO YOU HAVE A BOY IN THERE?”. I scream, “No”, ” Then you won’t mind unlocking the door then!”. They do this thing where they “check my room for a boy”, I think they do it just to annoy me. I walk to the door and slowly unlock it. All three of them run in and start looking around. They do this every time I lock the door, but the one place they don’t check is under my bed. So If I were to hide a boy he would be under there. My oldest brother Lucas says, “Clear” and then they leave my room.

Lucas turned back as he was walking and said,” Breakfast is ready”. I wasn’t really mad, I was just annoyed because I had just cleaned my room. I got dressed for school, did my makeup, and then grabbed my backpack. I texted Vannie to come one block away so my brothers wouldn't see. I walked down the stairs about to walk out of the front door, when Nico my brother asked,” Aren't you going to eat breakfast?”. I didn’t answer him and just ran out and down the street to Vanne’s car. “Hey princess”, “Hi” I mutter blushing at the nickname. I've learned that he calls me that out of consciousness and I think it's so cute.

He dropped me off and waited for me to go inside before pulling off. I go to our lockers and see Callie, we are locker buddies. After we hug and go our separate ways to our classes. My first period is Gym, I HATE gym. I went to the gym and found out there were only 2 girls including me. I was pissed but I tried to stay calm and just went into the girl's locker room. I walked in, said hi to the other girl and sat my bag down, and started changing. When I finished changing I started looking for my scrunchie just in case. After I grabbed my scrunchie I walked out into the gym.

As I walked out I saw Vannie. I had no words, I didn't even know he went to this school, and I swear I saw him pull off. The coach waited for everybody else and then told us we would be racing outside. He took us to the track field and he said to line up. Once everybody was lined up. He yelled “Go”, and all of us ran. I started making my way up to the front and ended up winning second place. Vannie won first place of course, and he then turned to me and said, “Good job princess”. I glared at him and we all returned to the gym to grab our bags. The rest of my classes were ok, they were kind of boring, well until lunch. I was waiting in line for my lunch when I looked beside me and Vannie was there.

As I went into my wallet to pay for my lunch. Vannie pulled out a twenty-dollar bill and paid for both of ours. “Thanks Vannie,” I say as I walk away. “No problem princess,” he says. I blush softly walking to the table Callie is at. Callie sees me blushing and makes an oooooh sound. I shake it off and tell her it's nothing. For the rest of lunch, we gossip and then we head back to our lockers. As soon as we get there over the intercom Callie’s name is called, “Callie, Callie to the front office please”. We say bye and she walks away, after I’m done grabbing my stuff I close my locker.

I jumped because a boy with dark curly hair stood right before me. I think his name was Jake. He was hiding behind my locker. He then says, “Hey cutie I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date with me”. As he winked at me. Then he grabs me by my waist and pulls me closer. I feel very uncomfortable and try to wiggle out. Then I hear in a stern cold voice, “Let her go now”.

As Vannie says to Jake to let me go, Vannie yanks the boy back, closes my locker, and grabs my wrist pulling me away. I stop him and say, “Thanks”. “No problem”, Vannie says walking away. I stand there for a minute to process what just happened. Then I shake it off and walk to my next class. After school I look for Callie but can’t find her anywhere, I pull out my phone and text Callie asking where she is. She texted back saying that she had to go home. I put my phone back in my back pocket and take a deep breath. Thinking about how I would get home because my brothers had already been picked up. And I know Dad will have a fit if I ask him, so I just decide to take the bus.

I walk to the bus stop and sit on the bench. Forty-five minutes passed and still, no bus, and my phone died so I couldn’t text anybody to pick me up. Five minutes later a car pulls up, the window rolls down and I see it's Vannie. “Get in the car princess,” he says, “Fine”, you say as you get in the passenger seat. Even though Vannie doesn't like my brothers he still wanted to walk me inside. When Kai opens the door he loves livid, “WHERE WERE YOU ISABELLA '', “I didn’t have a ride I’m sorry” you say. Kia sighs and pulls me inside glaring at Vannie, I see Vannie’s hand fist up but I don’t say anything.

Once I get inside all my brothers start yelling at me all at the same time. I was annoyed and angry and that for some reason made me start crying. Out of instinct I call Vannie and he answers on the second ring.

Vannie: Hey princess

Isabella: Hey um… can you um..

Vannie: On my way

He leaves the chat and in 5 minutes I hear a banging on my window.

My brothers and dad continued arguing and Vannie pounded on the window lightly to let him in. I had already started crying and I opened the window with tears on my face. Cam took one look at me and ran in locking the door behind him. He hugged me as I sobbed, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me onto the bed. He held me while I was sobbing uncontrollably, as we cuddled for the rest of the time

♡

In the morning my brothers banged on the door to let them in as usual. We woke up in a panic and I told him to hide under my bed. Once I saw that he was fully under there I opened the door. Turning and signaling for Vannie to stay quiet. My brothers ran In but instead of trashing my stuff, they apologized for yelling at me yesterday.

I forgave them as they slowly walked out glancing into my room. I closed and locked my door and told Vannie all clear. He got out from underneath my bed and smirked at me. He walked closer to me and pulled me close, grabbing my waist with one of his hands. His lips softly graced mine as we almost kissed. I pushed him off of me and he said in a husky tone, “I know we just met but I would like to get to know you”. “I don’t get this”, “you're not supposed to get this, just try it,” he says walking closer to me. “I’m just confused, how can you like me and we just met”. I say in a questioning tone, “To me it feels like I’ve known you my whole life” he says. “But what about my brothers?” I say, “Heck with him, they're not going to stop me from liking you!” He says Passionately.

I blush when he says that, he grabs me by my waist again and kisses me. I feel like I’m in my books. We stop kissing after like five seconds and just end up cuddling, until my brother Pierce knocks on the door reminding me about school. I hurry up and get ready in the bathroom. Then I tell Vannie to get out through the window so my brothers don’t see him. I walked downstairs grabbing breakfast on the way out, which was just bacon. Just in time to meet Callie in her car. I jump in her car as she speeds off on the way to school. As I am at my locker I feel someone tap my back. It is Vannie he asks me, “Hey, want me to walk you to class?” “Sure,” I say, feeling butterflies in my stomach. As he walks me to class I try to tame the butterflies for my own good.

[chasingmemoriesofficial]

Chasing Memories Worldbuilding Part 1

SO! Let's get the mundane worldbuilding out of the way.

First up, Ninjago's age of majority. Chasing Memories is a much more realistic take on the show, and realistically the Ninja wouldn't be able to do half of the crap they do if they were legally minors the entire time. Regardless of how powerful Wu is he still has to obey the law.

Base age of majority, where people are considered a legal adult, is 16 human years, as is the age of consent. Minimum drinking age and minimum smoking age are 18. Now, I specify human years here because there are a handful of non-human characters in my AU that age at different rates than humans. So when I say "human years" I mean they have to be the biological equivalent of a 16-year-old human to be considered a legal adult.

Now, obviously this means the only legal adults out of the Ninja at first are Zane and Kai, as stated in a previous post stating their birthdates and ages. Which means the minors of the group (Cole, Jay, and Nya) are under their supervision when the other adults (Garmadon, Wu, and Misako) are not around.

Let me reiterate, ZANE AND KAI ARE THE ONES IN CHARGE OF THE NINJA, both in costume and out. They are the adults. They're basically the older siblings when the parents aren't home.

It kind of bugged me growing up that Zane wasn't the one in charge, it always seemed to switch between Kai, Cole, and later Lloyd (which honestly made the least sense; yeah he's the chosen one but he's like 8 why is he in charge of the older more experienced Ninja?) so this time I'm going with seniority rules as Zane is the oldest and also the first Ninja Wu recruited.

Next up, NO Ninjago is NOT a monarchy of any kind. That plot point made no sense to me no matter how much I rewatched season 8. Why was it never mentioned? I even based my entire freshman year debate essay on why it was a bad idea to just add that in without warning.

CM!Ninjago is a democracy, plain and simple. I took inspiration from the United States (my home country), Canada, and the UK with how its government works.

There's an elected president that sits for a 6-year term and they can only have 2 consecutive terms. The first president was elected back in the 4th century (shocker, a government system that lasts over a millenium and a half), and the current president during the time of CM Origins is a man named Terrence Wong, who was elected for his second term in 2006 AC.

The education system is kinda a combination of the American, British, and Japanese systems (that last one because I like how it's structured in anime), so we have kindergarten (starts age 4), primary school (ages 5-10), and secondary school (ages 11-16), with 2-year "high school" being optional.

Jay is a fourth-year secondary student at Southside Junior High in Ninjago City, but he does his schooling remotely as it was Edna's condition for him to train with Wu. It's actually summer break when Kai comes along as school ends June 25th and starts September 1st.

Cole's been homeschooled during his time in the circus (as he can't exactly enroll in normal school as a runaway) but since coming to the Monastery he studies alongside Jay (who gets copies of all his assignments to give Cole) and Nya (who also starts remote schooling with Jay, just under a different, closer school to the Monastery).

Kai only completed his mandatory schooling, then started working as a farmhand full time until Wu came along. Also, Kai has legal custody of Nya... aaaat least until the Skulkin show up, wreck house, and kidnap her, which leads the blame to fall on Kai as there's a probationary period on custody arrangements.

Kai only got custody of Nya on his 16th birthday, which was in July of 2009. Because Kai only filed to FOSTER Nya and not adopt her, they were given a probationary period of 15 months to basically make sure Kai didn't screw up. The Skulkin attack happened when there were 2 months left on the probationary period, so after Nya gets rescued she gets taken away AGAIN, this time by social services.

So what does out intrepid 19-year-old former guidance counsellor Zane do? He accidentally stumbles across Nya in town being bullied by some of the other girls in the group home she was placed in, rescues her, and has her take him to said group home where he files to take Nya in; turns out Glenn pulled some strings and got him a valid foster license for emergencies before he left Feren.

[krewekreep]

Introduction of Sorts + Interests

This page will really be for me to get back into writing, develop my writing and indulge myself. I’m open to requests though but ask people to definitely contextualize your Bias (person you’re requesting for—yes I’m gonna use K-pop lingo oh well) and/or the scenario cause otherwise I’d simply write for myself. Which is why I also am making this page because I’ve been on tumblr for 10 years (my main account turned ten this year) and I’m worn out of the smut fest no prose or story fics. Definitely has its place in the community but the older I get the more I need actual full blown delusion. I need scene, setting, set up, climax, denouement…and so I’ll fulfill the order myself. 🫡

My interests:

(Im a 2010s coded Tumblr user so uh, I mean I suppose Dr Who and Supernatural aren’t 😂😂😂😂lmao ew anyway (I was into supernatural I’m ewwing at you and myself) .

Too I usually am not following everything that’s mainstream (I know im so cool) so also if something isn’t listed I most likely know of it—but went no further. I also like older anime and media so if you have something super specific that feels out of place no worries. Im gonna end up writing Greek smut about Dionysus so…🤷🏾‍♀️

Anime: (I’ve seen actually too much anime to name so here’s the ones I have a bias or have an affinity for the characters)

JJK,

Chainsaw Man

Bleach

Naruto

Demon Slayer

Attack on Titan

Fate Series

Etc

Manga:

JJK

Chainsaw Man

Bleach

Attack on Titan

Spy x Family

DanDanDan

Berserk

Etc

Fave genres are horror/seinen, shoujo, and slice of life.

KPOP: (1st-mid 3rd Gen main but still aware of 4th gen pretty deeply)

I dont really want to do requests for idols but I don’t mind overall, explained further below

My fave boy groups (somewhat in order): Big Bang, Shinee, BAP, BTS (ex-army, long story**, don’t come to my page with that bullshit 💕) B1A4, IKON, EXO, 2PM, GOT7…I could go on. (I’m not gonna list them in an order but my heart can’t not include MBLAQ, Teen Top, U-Kiss, etc ugh those were the days😭)

Girl Groups (in definitive order): 2NE1, Brown Eyed Girls, F(x), Girls Generation, TWICE, 4Minute/Hyuna, Wonder Girls, Secret, After School, Global Icon (short lived), Tiny G ( VERY short lived), EXID, Ladies Code, etc.

Now 4th Gen…is cute…they got CUTE people that’s for sure. This list will be co-ed simply because I’m not feral for boy groups like I was younger. Really the boy groups don’t do it for me (4th gen overall criticism tbh) cause it’s really looks and kinda arrogant personalities I find obnoxious given y’all can’t even publicly date or be seen smoking…tone down the elitist vibe lol. But shade aside I do jam some things and have a playlist for my fave 4th gen songs so for sure no hate just a BOMBASTIC side eye sometimes. Anyway…

Stray Kids

Aespa

Lessaraffim (I’m gonna leave it like my mind spells it, enjoy)

NCT 127 (specifically them ((in reference to the units)) cause I enjoy R&B coded K-pop, they do too much Niggaboo shit (looking at Mark and Taeyong DIRECTLY in the eyes 👁️👄👁️)((BUT it’s a Soo Man thing cause him, YG, and JYP competing over who wish they were a born a Black man the most…Soo Man and JYP ✨fist fighting✨over the top spot IYKYK)

New jeans (they’re minors and if they all aren’t their def much younger than me so no requests for minors please this is for taste assessment only)

BIBI and other female soloists (Hyuna, Sunmi, Ga-in, Lee Hyori, etc)

IVE (they really got some bops tbh, this is another TWICE case of let these young women talk and sing how they naturally would…music and live performances will thank them for it)

Nobody really else I guess honorable mentions are Ateez, Fifty-fifty,

———————————————————————

*im gonna add that for Anime/Manga the double dipping means some combination of me knowing the material in both forms of media. Like Jujutsu Kaizen is an amazing example currently as of course the anime is ongoing but the manga is far ahead by a large portion of plot. So if your anime only, manga only, or something be sure to let me know so I’m not spoiling by accident. Don’t want the smut to spoil a character death or something….right? 😅

**the long story short and overall caveat of why I’ve fallen out of love for groups and K-pop are the fact that yeah as a Black person I genuinely started getting pissed off with colorism, n-word usage, appropriation, and mockery. The shit gets old and as a poor old super fan I’m happy I didn’t spend the money people do for folks who would literally refuse my hand…🫤 be fr. Likewise, the deaths of idols who were literally my biases really (of course) bothered me and took a toll on my enjoyment of the genre too. The more you love it the more you learn and that’s usually where the fun ends and now it’s numbers charts and placements. Lame 😭. I let the time I was fan be that but otherwise ? Eh I’m good I’ll bop from time to time and catch the tea but my bread in my pocket (besides my B1A4 What’s Happening and Twice Scientist albums😂)((and the other old albums I’ll get before they disappear forever or get destroyed🫠))

But yeah that’s that on that. I’ll be posting whatever ends up decent enough to be read by others. Otherwise wherever this ends up hope you drop a message🥸!

[pastedpast]

A woman in the Tudor History group I'm a member of recently recommended to me what sounded like a very readable book about Catherine Parr, the wife who survived Henry VIII, written by an academic called Dr Elizabeth Norton. I name-checked her only yesterday when posting about the Elfrida book, not realising they were the same author. Turns out she's written several books about queens (link here). I will keep an eye out for her work in charity shop finds and, as she is also a broadcaster, also on TV documentaries. Nice one!

Will have a more in-depth look at the link later and add info re. each book to the 'queens an' tings' blog in more detail.

And talking of Tudor women, I've finally been getting to grips with a few Tudor men (not as exciting as that might sound!). Essentially, working out who's who in the Seymour and Dudley families.

Seymour - the queen Jane Seymour had three brothers:

Edward, 1st Earl of Somerset, a biography about whom I mentioned in a recent post, who became Lord Protector of England during the minority of his nephew Edward VI, who was eventually executed after being accused of treason by John Dudley, Duke of Northumberland.

Thomas, 1st Baron Seymour of Sudeley, who was also executed for treason (and suspected of engaging in sexual relations with Elizabeth I when she was 14 and while she has married to Henry VIII's surviving wife, Catherine Parr).

Sir Henry Seymour - he was actually the second surviving son but I've placed him after Thomas on the list as he led a generally quiet life (although he was an MP at one point) living to a good age in relative obscurity.

The Seymour family lived at a large manor house called Wulfhall or Wolfhall, which was the inspiration for Hilary Mantel's prize-winning masterpiece, 'Wolf Hall'.

Dudley - the father-in-law, husband and brother-in-law of Lady Jane Grey.

John Dudley, 1st Duke of Northumberland. Married his son off to Lady Jane in the hopes of ruling by proxy via the young couple. Executed for high treason when Mary I took the throne. Had several children - so far I've only read about the following two.

Lord Guildford Dudley, husband of the young Jane - I need to read up more about him, I think he was only a year older than her and perhaps also a pawn in his father's plans?? He was too executed for high treason.

Robert Dudley, 1st Earl of Leicester - he was older than Guildford and a favourite courtier of Elizabeth I, also sentenced to death for treason, but freed. I will read more about him later. I think he hoped to marry Elizabeth, but married someone else who later died in suspicious circumstances (was he accused of pushing her down a flight of stairs??) I think at one point Elizabeth suggested he marry Mary, Queen of Scots and they all live together - that way Elizabeth could maintain her unmarried status and therefore ensure her sole power, while keeping tighter reins on Mary by controlling her choice of partner, plus stay in close proximity to her favourite man - however, the plan came to nothing. He married many years later to a lady called Lettice Knollys, much to Elizabeth's displeasure. She is one of the subjects of my 'queens an' tings' project I will address in more detail later. [Her son, Robert Devereux, 2nd Earl of Essex, became another favourite of Elizabeth's later in life, but he was involved in a plot to try to oust her from the throne, for which he was executed by beheading in 1601].

The painting on the front of the book is 'The Cholmondeley Ladies', painted by an unknown artist circa 1600–10. Perhaps a strange choice as a cover seeing as Elizabeth died in 1603 and the throne was brought under the rule of the House of Stuart?

[ibelieveinghost]

4/7/24

up-dates!!!

1st off!: got my visa!!! finally!!!!!! actually, i got it on Wednesday but never found the energy to write here haha. oh! i graduated on Friday too and somehow talked the school into refunding the rest of the tuition. so everything went great in the end.

but seriously. i haven't write in so long, and i'll try my best this morning(rainy Sunday vibes yay!) to cover as much as possible. ok moving on---

i've been drawing/sketching on and off, and it sorta feels like a habit. lighthearted efforts and ease, something i rarely experience w/ making art since...since high school.

i've been updating more consistently on my blogs/twitter now. i got some response. some. not as much as one'd wish haha. but honestly, i felt so grateful that people are liking my stuff.

on the other hand, the job hunting has been going... well it has been going! not a ton of jobs being posted out there since early March, and i'm starting to realize that i'm only pretending to be really wanting certain positions. i got so accustomed to idea of working as a researcher/scientist, but. man. wasn't that why i left school in the first place, that i fucking hate it despite pouring ~10 years of my life into it and seemed to be going somewhere. having bright prospects and all. now that i knew. well. i need a little more time to think and un-think, to not rush ahead, and be complete honest w/ myself. getting the visa means i got all the time i want. so again, all worked out in the best way possible.

oh yea! birthday coming up in couple weeks! woo hoo! been planning a little overnight trip somewhere! probably 軽井沢 or 伊豆高原. idk! haven't gone anywhere not Tokyo/Yokohama since early Jan, and traveling alone is totally my thing! actually, growing older is so much cooler than i'd thought when i was in my early 20s. but like. past me: imagining feeling more grounded, taking things less seriously, and being more in tune with urself.

ok! dumping some photos seem like a good way to continue:

(reverse chronological order)

(コメダ I literally come here everyday now lol)

(graduation cert came with a bear! + my lamys... i'm not collecting them! they're super easy to write to write with and i adore the bright neon colors that's it!)

( i went to the 4D special viewing of prisoner of Azkaban and man---it worked so well w/ the 4D format. i mean it is the rainy/icy snowy one of the 8, so a lot of spraying water on your face situations! i was wearing a wide grin the whole time i guess. it was so much fun. that being said, i def shed a few tears near the end when harry realized no one's coming to save the two of em, so he stepped out and did what he didn't even know he's capable of. a scene my younger self never managed to relate to. but it def resonates now.

i love this movie so much, probably my fav out of all of them. watched it at the theater w/ dad when i was probably in...middle school or younger?)

(awww)

(the day i got my visa)

(date w/ S!)

(dinner later that night, w/ the gang)

(us, acting a little stupidly ha + interesting cards i took from the bar)

(last Sunday)

(the komeda near ogikubo station, it went all orange that day + cute lil book i might come back and buy later)

(the night i last hang out w/ A)

damn we're reaching the 30 photo/post limit

so guess that's that! i'm coming back to wrap up this epic photo dump soon(later today)

it felt so nice to just recounting my life, sharing all the bits and pieces on one had ever asked for. to me, it's a cute and ultimately therapeutic thing to do. my future self must be thanking me for taking the time to record everything haha.

anyway! see ya soon!

[mint-moon25]

FUGEES - ‘KILLING - ME - SOFTYLY’

SOUTH - KOREA - YES - KOREAN - GIRLS

YOUR - GOVERNMENT - WHAT - HAPPENED

2 - 3 KOREAN FEMALES - MOM - 2 SISTERS

YOUR - GOVERNMENT - ONE - KOREAN

MALE - ACTOR - YOUR - HALLOWEEN KR

31 OCT - STAMPEDED - BY - ALL - THOSE

PEOPLE - ASTHMA - TOOK - OVER PANIC

EVERYONE - STOPPED - BREATHING

AS - DRUNKS - NON-MARRIED - IMMORAL

ORGY - MALES - FEMALES - NOT - ONE

WAS - A - VIRGIN - STAMPEDED - 31 OCT

TUMBLR - DESTROYED - NEW - BOOST

INFINITE - PAY - AMOUNT - DUE - $45.59

2 - AVOID - SERVICE - INTERRUPTED

BLIND - GIRL - OF - MIAMI - FLORIDA

NO - FEDERAL - TAXES

MY - POST - INCLUDED - WHEN - MY - 

BABY - BOY - 8TH - MONTH - WAS TAKEN

FR - MY - ARMS - BY - JAPANESE - GIRL

ORDERED - BY - AMERICAN - BLONDE

GBC - TV - STUDIOS - PRESENTS

SHORT - COMMERCIALS

AESPA

ITZY

INTRODUCING - OUR - TOKYO - JAPAN

MILITARY - EQUIPMENT

REQUIRED - SINGING

REQUIRED - TONGUES

REQUIRED - SINGING - DANCING - BUT

DIGITAL - ASSESSMENT - OUR - TRULY

LIKE - ‘IRON MAN’ - MILITARY - EQUIPMENT

COMING - MY - SECRET - PARIS - FRANCE

BRITTANY - INTERNATIONAL - SPY CAMPS

INTERNATIONAL - SPY - SCHOOLS

KIDS - ELEMENTARY 

TEENS - SCHOOLS

HIGH SCHOOLS

LEGAL - PERMIT 

SPECIAL - KOREAN - MALES - PROGRAMS

INSTEAD - OF - 2 YEARS - DURING - MARRIAGE

AGE - MY - INTERNATIONAL - SPY - HIGH SCHOOL

MILITARY - TRAINING - WE - WILL - GIVE - KOREAN

MALES - TONGUES - TONGUE - TONGUES

ONLY - SINGERS - ONLY - SINGERS - CAN

ENTER - OUR - SCHOOLS

2 YEARS - AS - MALES - U - WILL - HAVE THE

EQUIVALENCE - OF - YOUR - 2 YR - MILITARY

FINEST - MILITARY - WEAPONS - ON - EARTH

ALL - FAKES

BASED - ON - ‘ALADDIN’ - REAL - PEOPLE

‘SMURFS: THE - LOST - VILLAGE’

ALL - MILITARY - EQUIPMENT - R - FAKES

RIGHT - WEIGHT

YOUR - CERTIFICATION - U - WILL - SEND

WE - WILL - SEND - 2 - CONFIRM - FINISHED

REPUBIC - OF - SOUTH - KOREA

LEGAL - PERMIT - FROM - PEOPLE’s - REPUBLIC

OF - CHINA

AGE 19 AND OLDER

NEW - LAWS - OF - KOREA

THE - BEAUTIFUL - RED - LIKE - PASSPORT - OF

CHINA - 2 - LEGALLY - WED - IN - SOUTH KOREA

CHOOSE - ANY - CLOTHES - U - WANT

BUT - WE - WILL - HAVE - DICTATE - OF - THAT

CHINESE - MARRIAGE - CLOTHING - OF - THE

PAST - BOTH - RED - OR - OTHER - COLORS

REAL - JEWELRY - ON - HAIR - OUR - GIFTS 

2 U - OPPOSITE - GENDERS - ONLY

SORRY - BTS - JUNGKOOK - JIMIN - SUGA

MY - DISTANT - COUSIN - TAEHYUNG - ‘V’

WE - WILL - CHECK - OUR - BIRTHDAYS

AND - GIVE - U - WHAT - WE - THINK - U

SHOULD - WEAR - WE - WILL - MAKE UP

BOTH - MALES - AND - FEMALES

HOW - WILL - THIS - START - I’M - ASKING

YUTA - 5′9 FT - I - WILL - ALSO - 5′9 FT

LASER - TECHNOLOGY - TOKYO - JAPAN

OR - JENO - 6 FT 

COMMERCIALS - GBC - TV - 24/7 - FREE

NEW - LAWS - OF - SOUTH - KOREA

MY - NEW - FACE

ASIAN - VERSION - SE KYUNG SHIN

LIKE - WE’RE - COUSINS

AMERICAN - PAMELA TIFFIN - MARILYN MONROE

EUROPEAN - PAULINA PORIZKOVA

PLASTIC - SURGERY - TOKYO - 2 - COMBINE ALL

OF - THEM - 5′5 FT - BECOMES - 5′9 FT

AFRICAN - I’M - ALSO - SOUTH AFRICA

FACE - OF - EX - VICTORIA’s - SECRET

CANDICE SWANEPOEL - 5′10 FT

COMBINE - ALL

MY - NEW - FACE - AND - HEIGHT

SPECTACULAR - GOING - 4 - RUNWAY

HEIGHT - 4 - SUPER MODEL

HAD - ENOUGH - OF - THIS - USA - AND - THEIR

TREATMENTS

BOOST - INFINITE - LIVE - CHAT

YOU’RE - UPSET - AND - FINGER - TYPING

MAIN - LIBRARY - MIAMI - FLORIDA - FROM

FEDERAL - TAXES - I’M - IN - ANOTHER YES

SECTION - ALL - FILLED - SELFISH - HOMOS

HOMELESS - CRIMINAL - RECORDS 

1ST - BLKS

2ND - HISPANICS

POSSESSION - OF - A - DEADLY - WEAPON

ARMED - ROBBERIES - OF - 7-ELEVENS

CONCEALED - DEADLY - WEAPONS

MAIN - LIBRARY - HAS - THESE - CREEPS

ANOTHER - SECTION - WHERE - I - WAS

GREGORY - HAITI - WEIRDO - GIVING

TUTORSHIPS - 2 - HISPANIC FEMALES

SPEAKING - OUT - LOUD - TOLD - ME

AFTER - MORE - THAN - 1 HOUR - TO

SHUT - MY - MOUTH

THEN - TELLS - ME - ‘HE - HAS - NEVER

SPOKEN - 2 - ME’

WHEN - AMOUNT - IN - QUESTION - EQUALS

MORE - THAN - $20 - BRINGING - HIM - BY

HARVARD - LAW - 4 - TRIAL - BY - JURY

HE - SAID - HE - NEVER - RECEIVED

PUBLIX - FRIED - CHICKEN - FR - ME

DURING - DEADLY - HURRICANE

WAS - WITH - ANOTHER - HISPANIC

THOUGHT - SECTION - WHERE - WE - WERE

SPEAKING - 2 - HISPANIC - GRAY - HAIR MOM

AND - PUFFY - HAIR - SON - WHO - HE - WILL

KILL - AFTER - DONE - WITH - THEM

SO - THIS - SECTION - HAS - NONE - OF THEM

NOW - FACING - ANOTHER - AREA

NO - SIGNS - IN - BETWEEN - DO - NOT - LEAVE

YOUR - PERSONAL - ITEMS - UNATTENDED

SOLUTION - FULL - INSURANCE

THEFT - REPLACEMENT - FAST - OF - NEW

OR - BETTER - JESUS - IS - LORD

FOUND - AFTER - ALL - MY - POST - TUMBLR

DIDN’T - EAT - IT - UP - LIKE - PAC MAN - CA

CALIFORNIA - POPULAR - GAMING

MAIN - LIBRARY - HAS - HACKER - STILL BY

THE - WAY - WE - WILL - B - ABLE - 2 - FIND

AND - FRY - HIS - SYSTEM

SO - U - WILL - THROW - AWAY - YOUR YES

LAPTOPS - SMARTPHONES - LIKE - ME HAI

FOOLISHLY - MONEY - ANSWERS - ALL - AS

WE - BUY - ANDROID 14 - IN - THE - FUTURE

SAMSUNG - GALAXY

DOESN’T - DO - WELL - OUTDOORS - WHEN

WEATHER - BECOMES - COLDER - WHAT - A

JOKE - PYEONGCHANG - OLYPICS

EVEN - GERMANS - COMPLAINED - HOW

COLD - THAT’s - FUNNY - RUSSIAND AND

GERMANS - COMPLAINED - HOW - COLD

BUT - THEY - HAD - ANIMATED

LIKE - POUCH - PUT - ON - HANDS - 2 BE

WARMER - WOOL - WOOL - WOOL - THE

SOLUTION - WOOL - UNDERWEAR

WOOL - LONG SOCKS - YES WOOL

BRAS - WOOL - EVERYTHING

NOW - FOUND - TREADMILL - DANCING

SHYNEE - ITZY - AESPA 

CHRISTA DI PAOLO - CARDIO BOXING

ON - ELEVATED - TREADMILL - DOES

CHANGE - BODY - TEMPERATURES 2

NOW - I’M - WARMER - FELL ASLEEP

SO - SLEEPY - ON - MY - PURPLE - THICK

USED - BLANKET - GOT - 4 - THANKSGIVING

FELL - ASLEEP - MY - FIRST

STORAGE - UNIT - BUILDINGS

SHODY - CONSTRUCTION - WORK

WRONG - AIR CONDITIONERS

I - FAINT - THERE - ALL - THE - TIME

I’M - SEMI - GLYCEMIC

OLD - MALE - TALK - TALK - TALK - TALK

I - SCREAMED - HE - WANTED - ME - TO

CHARGE - HIS - CHARGER - THOUGHT

HE - WANTED - ME - 2 - CHARGE - MY

SAMSUNG - GALAXY - TOLD - HIM NO

NO - NO - MINE - WILL - REMOVE ALL

ENERGY - FR - HIM - IN - 10 MIN - TOO

GIVES - ME - FOOD - DAILY

HE - MENTIONED - HE - EATS - PUBLIX

POP CORN - CHICKEN - GETTING HIM

THAT - 4 - AFTER - CHRISTMAS - 2 SAY

THANKS - ADMITTED - I’M - SEMI 

GLYCEMIC - NO - REAL - SUGAR

WE - DIE - WHY - I - FAINTED MY

WHOLE - CHILDHOOD - AND - TEEN

YEARS - GLYCEMIC - FAINTS - THE

WORST - LAZY - ABOUT - SUGAR 2

SEMI - GLYCEMIC - FAINTS - ALSO

REASON - NO - SUGAR - WE - DIE

THUS - HACKER - AT - MAIN - LIBRARY

4 - MIAMI - POLICE - HERE - SO THEY

ARE - ATTACKING - THEM

ILLEGAL - SIGN - FIRST - FLOOR AND

COLDER 

NEAR - VENDING - MACHINES - NOT

ALWAYS - WORKING - TOO

NO - EATING - AND - DRINKING - IN

MAIN - LIBRARY

14TH - NO - US - STATE - CAN - MAKE - OR

CREATE - ANY - LAW ...

RULES - ARE - ILLEGAL - CREATING - OF

LAWS ... - 14TH - $500,000 - MONETORY

FINE - AND - OR - STATE - IMPRISONMENT

WOMENS - MENS - CORRECTIONAL - FACILITIES

SO - ANYWAY - WE - WILL - CONTINUE - THIS TOO

[crazyworldofemmamarie]

do you like any other older horror movies? That's a very dumb question but I'm unashamed about such things. I've rewatched some of the movies that really scared me when I was younger, and if anything they're even more scary now. I only watched 3 or 4 of the Saw films, but your blog is making me feel like looking again.

I love the entire genre, please yell at me if I mess up a reblog, or if my extensive experience in the field can help with your endeavors. I'm a John Carpenter fan from Way back; sometimes I don't know who directed what has become my favorite movie of the week and it turns out to be his...some of em aren't horror, like Starman, but it's heavy sci fi, and 80's Jeff Bridges is such a great actor...rambling with the lunatics. I like your blog! Don't fall for any of those HP Lovecraft movies; there's no sex in the books or stories so that Reanimator fool can go...sex was the selling point in the 80's though, guess it couldn't be avoided. I've read a ton; it's gotta be good for something. The way folks are saying manifest; that's made it back around after 24, 25 years. I'm tryna track something, for the good of everyone, but I'm no psychic medium, not even a small. If you think I made even a little bit of sense, I thank you for your time.

Okay! what's One movie you Won't watch, or Can't? I couldn't watch more than probably 10 minutes of High Tension, probably because I have kids, but I think that's the only one that keeps me from looking at it. Tobyn Bell should get a fun, dancing man role huh? He's pleasant to see if you ask me;) my kid's a huge Leatherface fan but they remember his name and everything. I "got" to see all the Faces of Death tapes as a teenager, we're fine, we're fine(just smile and nod)...I'm not sure how much longer I have on this earth, so I'm making it weird, and keeping it positive and spooky is challenging! But this Halloween will be my first single Halloween since lots of years ago and I am not going to let it slip past another year. My parent's were wed on Halloween, they forgot the 31st was already special, and I've always liked that memory of them making out on the couch between the trick or treat visits...anyway, have a great day, forgive me for going off on Every tangent, still looking for my pack y'know? Idk if covens advertise openings and I'm still learning to behave lmao...if intent is truly key, I am so good. My intentions are good. I'm never surprised that we get to know the "bad guys", monsters in the movies and stories that I personally can't really hate, or judge, but those are the fictional ones. Unfortunately the bad guys out here are really bad, and boringly bad. Yell at me any time, but y'know I won't hear it, lmao

Holy Moly, I am so sorry, my dumb ass basically took forever to figure out how to reply but hey I got it now, haha!

And no, don't worry about rambling I totally enjoy your stories and thoughts and I find it amazingly sweet that you even took the time to write to me, really and I am always open to chat! (And in all honesty, I am still learning to behave as it, but there's nothing wrong with having a little fun, wink wink.)

I do wanna ay I think it's super cool you're parents got married on Halloween, that's totally badass! Halloween is my favourite holiday, my Mom was super big on it because she never got to celebrate it when she was young cause she grew up super religious and it was to make up for lost time.

If I ever got married and I could convince my partner on a date, I probably pick October 1st, but in all honesty, as long as I can get married in Autumn I am totally happy. Though that's a rant for another time, haha.

Now to answer both of your questions:

I really like a lot of horror and I usually go from 1920s German Expressionism horror to present day. Though I am not gonna lie to you, I get really stuck with that late 60s/70s horror, especially that Art house horror like The Last House on the Left or I Spit On Your Grave cause I really enjoy realistic, could really happen horror, plus as a film manic, the 60s/70s had a lot of freedom with things like art and film and I just feel we get more out of that and I'm just like you where it's dirty, raw and full of sex, haha.

Though the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre from 1974 is my all time favourite horror film of all time, but I do really enjoy Last House, Spit on Your Grave, Black Christmas, The Wicker Man and all that.

80s is a hit miss for me, I'm really not a big fan of those popular slashers like Elm Street, or Child's Play or Friday the 13th, but love those somewhat terrible b movies like Sleepaway Camp or Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2.

B Movies are another big thing for me, anything from Puppet Master to Basket Case to Evil Dead.

Now to you second question, the one film I can't watch and it's one of the very few films I've seen once and it's Cannibal Holocaust. I don't know what it was, I love cannibalistic films like The Hills Have Eyes or Cannibal! The Musical; but for some reason, this film didn't sit right with me, I can't tell you if it was cause it was too realistic, too bloody or the fact that they killed real animals on camera or that in reality you don't really know who the villain's really are (that's another rant for another time, I gotta whole essay on that, yeah, I'm a loser haha). In all honesty, I think it was all of the above for me, either way I can't do it, I look away if I see even clips of it or something, though I am trying to hyper myself up and try to watch again in the future as a future film study since I believe it's on both Tubi and/or Shudder.

Either way, I thank you very much for message and posting ask! Don't be afraid to send more, I am always willing to chat, (now that I figured out how to reply) and I hope you don't mind that i post this if ya do, just shoot a me a message, but either way, thank you so much for your time!

[shawnjacksonsbs]

A drunk mind speaks a sober heart indeed. 9-9-23

Lyrics -{ I'm gonna walk with my grandaddy

And he'll match me step for step

And I'll tell him how I've missed him

Every minute since he left

And then I'll hug his neck

Yeah, when I get where I'm going

There'll be only happy tears

I will shed the sins and struggles

I have carried all these years

And I'll leave my heart wide open

I will love and have no fear }- When I get where I'm going by Brad Paisley

"Sometimes your heart needs more time to accept something that your mind already knows" - Paulo Coelho

A couple of drinks in and . . .

Am I supposed to say that 1st? Lol

Listening to "When I get where I'm going" and the past about hugging grandpa's neck, and I want that I want it so bad.

Or "a Father's love" by George Strait . . .

I wish.

It does bother me that when I die, I won't be in a place to hug my grandparents, or to watch over my kids and grandkids as they finish on through their lives.

Growing up they way that I did, with that subtle belief, that it's real, and in a way that's comforting makes knowing different now hard at times.

On the one hand, I value more now and why, because I believe that there's nothing after this, so the here and now is far more important. Every little second is more precious than whatever thing could be holding you back from loving or forgiving or accepting forgiveness etc, etc.

Truth is sometimes hard to swallow.

Fairytales. . . Wouldn't it be cool?

I mean. . .FUCK!

Sometimes, knowing I grew up is outstanding. Other times not as much. Lol

I wish the toothfairy was still a thing. I mean I had a lot of teeth pull for my top denture plate. Not as many as a non-meth head, but still. . .a lot. Lol

. . .

That's probably enough for a less than sober Thursday, less than weeks away from my 10 years off dope birthday.

I just got some people I wish I could hug, that if only they could see me now. . .

I'd really like for each new generation to reconcile this earlier and earlier until they don't have to at all. I mean, right? It'd have to be easier on those that don't have to, like from day 1, right?

Am I upset that they sit was drilled into my head at such a young age that now that I'm older. . .

If when I die, I can't hug my grandparents. . .cause it's all bullshit. . . I guess, in that case, another saving grace for those.. . .

Off again. On again. Off again.

I need to speak, outloud, gratitude info the world, into my life.

Tomorrow, though. It's late. And still Thursday. My head keeps going,

"Oh yeah and. . ."

Enoughs enough, tho. G'night guys.

Until tomorrow, or Saturday morning maybe. 🌄

~

What I can do when I can't hug my grandparents, is hug my kid or grandkids or message or call them and say "I love you!", and how!!

Turn that perspective on its head!

Especially missing the time with my dad. With nothing after, there's no way to make up all those. . .lost. . .years.

Amends were on the way, but slow coming in the arena of real, quality time.

Man, reconcile this already. It's more than a nostalgic hurt, maybe. I don't know.

~I'm back, and debating whether or not to read, and proof the above notes from Thursday evening or just let it be.

I'm pretty sure I'm just going to allow it. Because it pressed my heart enough to write it instead of watching the t.v. with my small head change.

It is what it is, and I said what I said.

Every second here on earth is precious and should be treated as special.

And I do miss my grandparents and my dad. I imagine I always will.

Knowing that I'm not going to see them again, makes me double down on my own being full, and never letting up on those "I love yous".

Hand 'em out like candy on Halloween. If you ask me, that's not even enough.

With my actions finally matching my intent, I'm not leaving any room for doubt to those . . .that I love, even friends, and some acquaintances.

So before I go, remember that I love your love and your laughter and it's half the reason I ask you to share it every week. Please don't stop!

And special shout out Happy Birthday to my momma, who always had my back even against p.o.s and the cops! Lol

Still don't know where I'd be without ya. Love you more than you know, and thank you for everything, always.

Until next week;

"Your heart and your instincts are far more reliable than your brain. When you follow your heart, you can be sure you won't regret it later. Even if you calculate your every move, it's not like life ever goes according to plan." - Nithya Menen

Lyrics -{ When I became a father in the spring of '81

There was no doubt that stubborn boy was just like my father's son

And when I thought my patience had been tested to the end

I took my daddy's secret and I passed it on to him

… I said

Let me tell you a secret about a father's love

A secret that my daddy said was just between us

I said daddies don't just love their children every now and then

It's a love without end, amen

It's a love without end, amen

… Last night, I dreamed I'd died and stood outside those pearly gates

When suddenly I realized there must be some mistake

If they know half the things I've done, they'll never let me in

And then somewhere from the other side, I heard these words again

… And they said

Let me tell you a secret about a father's love

A secret that my daddy said was just between us

You see daddies don't just love their children every now and then

It's a love without end, amen }- Love without end, Amen by George Strait

[latenightbreezeinheaven]

Natal aspects from my natal chart + my personal experiences (planets in houses) *Part-1* ☃️

First of all, these are my experiences due to my personal placements in my natal chart so please take them with a pinch of salt. They are not facts. Every placement has good and bad sides and I’m not an astrologer too.

Saturn in 1st house

🖤Since I was a child, I was taught to be able to stand on my own feet and stay alone. My mother said she tried to stay away from me both physically and mentally as possible as she could because she was afraid that I would be too much emotionally attached to her. I was extremely soft and I relied on my parents at that time, so they didn’t want me to grow up as a weak person. That’s why I never tried again to rely on my parents, mostly emotionally because I know that I am the only one who has to pull myself up again and they aren’t.

🖤I have issues with my self-image and appearance, especially my body, since I was about 12 or 13. I feel like I’m not beautiful and I don’t meet up to this generation’s beauty standards.😐

🖤According to my mother, I started talking at about 3 or I guess even 4. It’s considered a bit late compared to my cousins and my brother. I don’t know if this placement is related to my talking stages but my speech was delayed and it was at the first stage of my life so yeah.🤷🏻‍♀️

🖤I think I’m responsible for every matter that happens around me even though I didn’t cause them.

🖤My parents have expected me to take care of my brother and his needs since I was about 10 and he was 5. I had to console him whenever he cried and I had to feed him, cook for him when they worked etc. They put too many responsibilities on my shoulders from the start so I wasn’t really carefree as a child.

🖤I’m also extremely hard on myself. I want to be perfect in every scenario and I feel this need to come out as a strong and independent person.

🖤My mother told me that when I was a newborn baby, I already looked like a 3-year-old kid. My facial appearances looked mature and till now, a lot of people still think I’m a lot older than I really am.😭

🖤My parents, especially my mom is really strict and they also have very high expectations on me. I feel judged by them quite often even when I’m doing well academically.

🖤They are also conservative, especially my mom. She yells at me whenever I tell her that I want to have a boyfriend but I don’t want to marry him and I will just live together and sleep with him. (It’s quite forbidden in our country and publicly considered as something we shouldn’t do).😂

🖤I am prone to anxiety. I often have anxiety attacks and I bite nails a lot too.

🖤Saturn also conjuncts my ascendant, so people also often tell me that I have prominent high cheekbones and I also think it’s true. But jawline? My jawline doesn’t look Capricorn rising-nish. I’m not also tall and slim. Actually, my body depicts exactly what a cancer rising with a cancer stellium would look like.

Lilith in 1st house

💃I’m not sexualized directly by men but every man I’ve met always wanted to chat with me about sex only. It’s really weird because my friends also have boyfriends but none of their boyfriends treats them like a sex toy. And I feel like a sex toy among those guys. They don’t want to take me out on dates and instead, they just want sex. I can’t tell if that is “sexualization” but I also get comments about my body a lot in both positive and negative ways.

💃Anyways, apart from men, I get stared a lot, not in a sexual way but in a more curious way like I’m an alien or some mythical creature popped out of a 13th century novel book.😂😭

💃I was also outcasted by my friends most of the times because they thought I’m too slutty (they said it themselves behind me). My ex friends bullied me and slut-shamed me so I have become a bad bitch since then. That’s why I don’t really care about friends in my life. They’re not my priority. Normally, I’m really bubbly and friendly but at times, my bitchy side comes up and forces me to stay detached from friends and never trust them.

💃Another thing I experience is I always have problems with authority figures. I hate it when someone uses their power to win something unfairly. But on the other hand, I’m secretly in love with authority and power because I want to own them and use them in a good way.

💃Some people also tell me that when they make an eye contact with me, they feel intense and intimidated but also warm and comforted at the same time (probably my cancer rising again lol).

💃I’m rebellious and I love weird outfits which are different from others.

💃I’m a bit open-minded when it comes to sexual matters (except when some random guy talks about sex out of nowhere for like 3 hours straight). I don’t feel ashamed to discuss about sex education whereas my friends see that as a taboo topic in the society.

💃I hate my body when I can’t fit into some outfits that I love but I love to touch it a lot and I also love to sleep naked (except I can’t sleep naked anymore after my parents found out about that).😭😭

💃However, the room doesn’t go silent when I enter. I’m not that powerful though.

💃I also don’t care about what other people think about me. It’s like “fuck off” vibes coming out from me since I got bullied.

Moon in 3rd house

📚People tell me I’m smart. I don’t get compliments about how pretty I am but I get ones about how intelligent I am. However, I don’t really think I’m THAT smart but maybe almost. HAHAHHAH😝

📚I love to express myself by writing out on a paper or on websites or on apps like this. I just love to turn my emotions into sentences and sometimes they turn into short stories. Writing releases my stress.

📚I love to write and read a lot. A book, a cat and gallons of iced coffee are enough for me in a day.

📚By traveling, I gain knowledge, inspiration and happiness. It’s my stress reliever for all time.

📚I love to ride cars too (I know it’s weird but I even had a childhood dream in which I live in a van and travel around the country).

📚I love my brother a lot and I have a very affectionate and friendly bond with him. I also try so hard to get along well with my cousins and stay friendly with them even though they’re a bit fake.🙄

📚Back to my brain. My primary teachers always complimented me about my intelligence and my grades and I was always the one who got first prize in every year for 5 years straight. Not bragging but it’s true.🤣

📚My moods change very often and my mind is scattered. It’s like a wide field with multiple places to hide and suddenly, a clown shows up from nowhere out of the blue! For instance, at first, I’m on instagram. Then after a minute, I remember to reply dms so I go onto messenger. Then, not even a minute later, I’m on TikTok again. Then, I’m on Reddit. It’s like soooo scattered that I don’t even know how to describe. I think my anxiety attacks also come from this placement.

📚I’m not grounded. I like to meditate but I can’t be consistent about it because of my intrusive thoughts. I jump from one topic to another very quickly when I talk.

📚I’m not a very good listener. I’m always ready to talk about various topics. So if I listen to someone very patiently, then he/she is important to me or I’m going to ghost them soon so I’m being patient in the present time loll😭

📚I overthink a lot and I tend to forget about a lot of things too. On the other hand, I also have a photographic memory about certain events like how my mom breastfed me. I remember what she wore and how she looked very vividly although I was just about 1 or 2 at that time but I don’t remember what I ate as a breakfast this morning. Strange right?

📚I love to learn foreign languages because they challenge me and intrigue me!

📚I’m also curious about everything and often have questions like “how were the oceans created?” “were Adam and Eve real people or just myth?” and my thoughts spiral into a big infinite hole and I get detached from the reality and my eyes are like 💀DEAD💀.

📚I also tend to turn my emotions into a problem to be solved instead of accepting and dealing with them. I observe me and my feelings from the third party view and respond to them logically. It’s not that I’m not emotional but I rationalize my feelings from another perspective.

📚I love to contain full stops, exclamation marks, question marks at the end of every sentence. If someone doesn’t do that, I judge them secretly LMAO.😭

Jupiter in 3rd house

🪄You can say that I’m quite lucky when it comes to education. I stand out among others since I was a child due to my education success. My parents could also support my education financially unlike right now, they’re struggling for my brother’s.

🪄I am a quick learner and I have a large vocabulary. I love to use advanced words in my language (Burmese).

🪄I am also quite talkactive but only with people I’m comfortable with. However, most of the time, I get into trouble for talking too much. I spill all the tea without any intentions but that drags me into a big mess and that’s why I have to control myself a lot when I communicate with someone, not to share gossips or else I’ll be in trouble again.

🪄Most of the times, people think I exaggerate a lot but I don’t.

🪄I hate HATE misspellings. They irritate me Periodt.

🪄I’m also open-minded and not afraid to observe from other perspectives. But my beliefs are so strong like try to attack them and I’ll kick you out of my life forever.🦵🏼

🪄I love learning about various things and I also like to be seen as a nerd. As long as I’m learning something, I feel valuable and precious.

🪄I prefer intelligence to beauty. When I say intelligence, it’s not only about studies but also about the keys in communication, how to eat and drink with manners, how to fight back people with wits etc. I’m quite of a sapiosexual. I get turned off when someone doesn’t know about something they should know. I get turned on when someone is intelligent and knows exactly how to talk to someone. Appearances matters too but not very important as long as they have brains.🧠

🪄I also love to see arguments (not in an aggressive way) and I always guess why they have their own opinions by trying to be in their shoes. And I get turned on when someone I already admire gets passionate in intellectual arguments wisely.🥵

Pluto in 6th house

⚡️I love hardworking people and I also try hard to perform well in my daily routines. I put efforts even into tiny cases.

⚡️I have a very strong will when it comes to my career and I hate being told what to do. I’m still at college so I have zero experience about work places but I think I would be obsessed with my work because that’s how I imagine myself to be.🤓

⚡️When I get emotional, I try to stay as productive as I can and I shift my focus onto my daily routines, my studies and my ambition to suppress them. I know it’s bad but I can’t deal with all of them. Emotions are weakness for me.

⚡️I love and hate routines at the same time. My Gemini sun and 3rd house moon hate them but my Virgo moon and 6th house Pluto love them.

⚡️I get stressed out a lot when my routines are ruined. For example, I even feel like my life is a mess if I didn’t finish some work in a limited time. I want to cry when I’m not productive and I go on self-destruction mode if I feel like that. I waste more time if I know I’m not doing enough. And then I cry. And the cycle repeats. So, the only way to keep myself happy is to stay productive and to be perfect in every work I do.

⚡️I’m also very competitive among my peers (my mars Aries doubles it).

TW: Eating disorder

⚡️I hate diets and workouts (I don’t know if this is related to Pluto in 6th house though). I have three personal planets in hard aspect to Pluto. I also have an eating disorder. I’m trying to maintain my balance again but it falls back every time. Either I binge or I restrict shockingly. There’s no in-between. Right now, I’m in my binging era with inconsistent workouts (even though I HATEEE workouts).

⚡️I love cats but cats don’t love me I guess. Whenever I look in the eyes of cats, they get scared of me and run away without hesitation. But they love to receive cuddles from me and they let me pet them though.🥺

This is the end of this post and thank you for reading to the end. Have a great day fellows!

Part-2 will be about planets in 7th house to 12th house!!✨

[stargirlstudio]

Citrine and Sapphire [Part 2]

☆ Aemond Targaryen x Princess of Leng!Reader

☆ Physical attributes canon to Lengii people, she/her pronouns, no y/n, you only go by a royal title (Princess)

☆ 1st/3rd POV, graphic language use (c*ck, c*nt, wh*re), misogyny, HOTD attitudes towards women

☆ WC: 6.1k

☆ Summary: A chance to further the Princess's education goes awry, but Prince Aemond offers something in place of that. A simple game turns into reality as the new players in the political game reveals their intentions.

☆ Guide:

[ ] - Lengii language

{ } - YiTish language

⇦ Part 1

Princess's POV

A few months ago, the Leng performers and the servants had been dismissed at my mother's request. They were only permitted to accompany me and entertain the Westerosi; now that the celebrations were over, they were to leave. Princess Rhaenys, who had attended me, also went. I still remember how she held me as if she were my own mother. 

Right after the servants had been dismissed, I was requested to have clothing made for me by the seamstresses, fitting me in floor-length gowns. Today, over twenty dresses have been delivered. The handmaidens had already placed my old home clothes in a chest. I remembered watching them fold my dresses neatly as the seamstresses had me stand on a ledge. Every poke and prod accompanied by my whole life going away in a dark hide latched trunk. I had worn those dresses when I left, when I walked through the markets of YiTi, when we made a trade deal with the Jogos Nhai, when I spent time in Qarth, and at every stop on my year-long journey. I tried my best to chase after them and get one piece of importance, but when they grabbed my hand to hold me back, I would not see those pieces for a long time. 

I brushed my hands against the embroidered red fabric. It felt rough to the skin and was hard to move in. At least the outside was soft, the crushed velvet was fun to play with, and the cream accent was beautiful. There had been word swirling amongst the nobility; they thought my clothing was a little…revealing. The neckline of my dress was much higher than I was used to, and my shoulders were no longer bare. I miss the loose shawls and tightly draped fabric. My ankle-length skirts allowed my mobility. Queen Alicent had some concerns…wanting to protect my dignity, which is why the seamstresses were employed. This was never a problem at Driftmark.

The woman braiding my hair asked, "Princess? Am I pulling too hard?" I shook my head, softly saying "no" - if I spoke any louder, I was afraid I would start quivering. I hadn't noticed the tears streaming down my face until a droplet ran down my hand.

"I'm not used to my hair being pulled on, that's all," I lied. "Do I look fine?" 

The servant beamed, "Like a proper lady now," The servant, I think is named Marynn, could be no older than 10 and 8. Only a few years older than me. She picked up the gold hairpin from the table. "Would you like this in your hair?" I nodded. It was a gift from Baela. When I first came to Westeros, I stayed at Driftmark for a while until Princess Rhaenys felt I would be more suited with other princes and princesses. "King Viserys and his family can offer you much more," She said one day. "They have been wanting to meet you for some time, but I'm afraid I cannot take care of you," At that time, I had no regrets about coming to Westeros, and I understood. By the time I came to Driftmark, Lord Corlys, the man my mother and even my late grandmother trusted in his care, was battling at the Step Stones. Now that I'm here in King's Landing, it feels dangerous. Everything has changed. Xhoha had taken a liking to the Small Council, and King Viserys offered to have him sit in on some of their affairs. 

A knock on the door caused the servant to poke my head with the pin. I swatted her hand away and stood abruptly, causing the wooden chair to fall. "I'm sorry!" I said. "Are you fine?" I asked her. She nodded, visibly shaking, clutching the fabric on her smock. 

"Princess, it's time to go to your lessons with the Septa," Ser Criston called. "Princess-"

"I will be out soon!" I said, annoyed. "You are dismissed," I told her. She bowed and made her way out of the door. She squeaked upon seeing Ser Criston, and I followed behind her. We watched her as she scurried down the hall. 

He eyed me, "Is everything alright, Princess?" He paused. "Trouble in the quarters?" 

I rolled my eyes, "Just…my hair was not done," I lied. Ser Criston Cole chuckled before we continued our walk. My quarters were in an open part of the castle, with large windows open before I woke. Sunlight beaming in and light breezes; despite this, the stone of the railing felt cold. Not a moment longer, I saw Xhoha and an unfamiliar man conversing, another Lord. Ser Criston bowed. 

"Ah, you must be Lady Leng. I have been meaning to meet you," The nobleman said. He had dark blonde hair cutting right below his ears, and his armor shined. He raised an eyebrow at my dress. "My nephew danced with you at your welcoming festival," I remembered him. I felt so clumsy, and my hands must have been shaking. "I was quite jealous," Xhoha gave me a deadly stare. "I understand Jaehaerys and Jaehaera's name day celebration is soon. Will you be in attendance?"

I looked to Xhoha for an answer, his face relaxing, "Yes, Lord Tyland, she will be in attendance. Will Tylen attend as well?" The man nodded. 

"That boy is always off doing something," Lord Tyland's eyes shifted to my dress again, his eyes averting to my mouth. "Lady Leng, I must say you look lovely in those colors," He said, exasperated. "I must be off," Lord Tyland bowed; Xhoha and Ser Criston did as well. My advisor nudged me, and I turned too late for him to see. I felt a pit in my stomach as I watched him leave. 

"{How do you mean?}" I asked. Xhoha lifted my arm in the air. The stray thread and his nail pinching through the sleeve. His eyebrows furrowed, and his mouth hung open, showing his stained teeth. He was always scary when mad.

"{When a Lord is talking to you, you must address him by that title. You must learn the names of the Lords and Ladies and their houses. You bow to them, treat them with respect, and bow when they leave. Do you understand?}" In the past months, Xhoha had been insistent I learn the ways of Westerosi. He had been the one to adopt their clothing before me. He even trimmed his dark hair and kept his long mustache at a short, respectable length. He went from Pentoshi linens to damask shirts. Gone are the days when the marks of his culture shined on him. "{Show some respect for your- I mean Lord Tyland}," 

"{I am just making sure you do not make a fool of yourself,}" He said as he loosened his grip. My arm sank back to my side as we continued to the Septa. Xhoha had always been a man who strayed from no orders, but I cannot remember if costuming as a Westerosi was one of them. Xhoha, while aloof and stern, never the one to crack a joke unless someone tried, was a respectable man. He may have adopted the Westerosi man's attitude as well. They do not treat their women kindly here. 

"{Have you asked King Viserys for permission for me to learn with his son's Maester?"} I asked. "{I fear that my education is being hindered}," 

"A woman does not learn with the Maester!" He abruptly switched to Common Tongue. "The noble women learn with the Septa. Septa Jayne does not need to be here anymore, but you shall be grateful. It is just as important as whatever the Maesters are teaching the boys," He paused. "I teach you just fine when we are alone {I will not have you around Prince Aemond}," 

"If it is just as important, why am I not allowed?" I asked him. {And why not? He is kind to his sister}," Xhoha grabbed me by the shoulders, gripping it until his knuckles turned white. He gritted his teeth as his eyes bore into mine. I had never seen him this way before. 

"Because you are a woman! An unwed woman!" He yelled. The guards posted around the hall, far and few, said nothing as he continued his onslaught and humiliation. "In Westeros, it is different here, Princess!" He yelled before demeaning to a whisper. "You should be lucky you are not Queen Alicent's lady-in-waiting. Look at Princess Helaena. Do you want that to be your fate?" 

"Do not mock the cards she has been dealt," I said. "{Yes, I am unwed, but why does that mean anything? Can I not have a friend? You were fine when Lady Rhaena and Lady Baela were my friends}," He gripped my wrist, his nail piercing into my skin. 

"{They were girls! I know what the men of Westeros are like. The princes especially}," He sneered. "They fuck common whores, beat their women, and spit in the faces of those beneath them. The King may have the power - by the gods, even the older Lords are much safer. Still, it is the Princes who have the vigor to fuck anyone at their will," Abruptly letting go when he saw Prince Aemond in the distance, "We will continue this later," I looked at the harsh crescents in my skin. He had never done that before. 

My thumb rubbed at my skin. Prince Aemond, who was coming the opposite way, had his ever-present unwavering stare. We both bowed, and so did he. 

"Hello, Princess," He said before glinting his eyes at my advisor. "And…you," 

"Xhoha Bahyrr," He quickened. "I'm taking Lady Leng to Septa Jayne," Aemond's eyebrow twitched slightly while Xhoha's hands wavered. I have a feeling that the Prince finds him…annoying. Which makes me laugh.  

"I'm well aware. Where else would she be at this hour?" He said sarcastically. "And I believe her title is Princess, is it not?" Aemond asked. "I am confused as to why people have been calling you Lady Leng?"

"Lady and Princess are not the same?" I asked. Xhoha laughed while Aemond stared at him. 

"It seems you have been led astray," He glared at Xhoha. I could feign his slight smile, indeed feeling proud of himself after that comment. "What do they call you in Leng?" Aemond continues, his eyes softening and his arms crossed.

I pause, "Léi dai Leng or Léi Leng, that would be the translation. It means the Divine Princess," I say. He seemed content. 

"If I call you Léi Leng, would that be proper?" I nodded. "I seem to be upholding you both. I'll be going in the same direction; perhaps we can walk together," He said. Prince Aemond slowed, matching me as we walked side by side, with Xhoha trailing behind. I glanced over, his lips slightly pursed with his hands behind his back. In these past months, I had small conversations with the young Prince. His brother was always drunk or stumbling while his sister was preoccupied with the children. I see Queen Alicent the most. And King Viserys the least. Aemond turned his head, noting Xhoha was out of earshot, making small talk with a guard. "Are you alright?" 

"I am fine," I say, hiding my wrist in my sleeves. Aemond let out a minor "hm," and my body went hot with embarrassment, hoping he had not heard that conversation. 

"No one shall do that to you again," He said. "Especially a man with no title," Aemond turned his head to look at me. "Why was he yelling at you?" 

I turned back, ensuring he could not hear me — just to find out he was gone. Indeed talking with another lord. "He…well, there had been numerous occasions where I asked to perhaps learn under your Maester. I miss my lessons on history and politics," I said. "It was required for girls and boys of the crown to learn the same subjects. I had simply wanted to learn how…everything is done here," Aemond listened intently, with his hands still behind his back. "He has changed," I said solemnly. 

"I was unaware of your wants. I believe Xhoha has not talked to my father at all. I will arrange for you to join me," He said indignantly. "…during lessons," 

My eyes widened. "Oh no, I could not ask you for such a favor," I said. 

"I'll make sure of it," He continued as we walked. Aemond held up a hand to shield himself from the sunlight. "What is your favorite subject?" 

"History and Literature," I said. "I have become fond of poetry," I pause, gauging his reaction. "My father said that it is attractive to be well educated. He said it would help bring in more suitors, but that reasoning seemed to only work on my older brother Xian," 

"He is right," Aemond said. "I share your love of history as well," He pointed. "I am interested In philosophy," He raised. "How many siblings do you have?" 

I clasped my fingers, "I have three others. I am the youngest. My eldest brother Hanh, the second eldest Xian, my twin, and then I," I said softly. "I cannot share my sister's name because she is the crown princess," 

Aemond continued asking me more questions, conversing with me all the way to the courtyard.

—

Aemond's POV

Aemond hid behind one of the walls at the end of the hallway, listening in on a conversation with a woman and the Princess's advisor's conversation. He peaked around, just as the man gripped the lady's arm, his breath rugged and his eyes piercing into hers. Aemond immediately moved out of the way, stalking the man, but when he seemed to calm down, Aemond kept his composure. The man bowed first while the woman turned around to bow second. It was the Princess of Leng. The one-eyed Prince looked at her from head to toe. No longer is she wearing the form-hugging fabrics of pink and purple. Her sets of bangles are still present, her hair in a Crownlands-style braided bun. Her dress is a formidable rouge color. The scent of her perfumes still remains strong. An amber fragrance with a lingering sweetness of vanilla and an induction of jasmine.

"Hello, Princess," He said, his eyes lingering on the Princess. "And you…?"

"Xhoha Bahyrr," The man with the mustache said. After some grating conversations, Aemond joined the pair as they walked to the courtyard. Aemond, after losing an eye, had been attuned to noises at an amplified volume. A flicker of a fire, nobles chewing on dry goose meat, and the advisor's incessant hacking were louder. The smell of his tobacco was sour and unpleasant. How the Princess could handle her advisor was something he could not fathom. 

A few times, Aemond eavesdropped on their lessons when they were in the gardens or at a table in the courtyard. From the moment the Prince laid eyes on the Pentoshi man, he could see that he was power-hungry…and…stupid. Indeed a man of such low status could not correctly teach the Princess what she wants to know. And the conversation he had just overheard was no different. A girl clearly exhausted by her own education, even she could tell he was lacking. And while Aemond had taken to watching the Princess from afar, he had little chance to interact with her. Again, her advisor, whose name he had already forgotten, seemed to conveniently whisk her away. 

Now that they are alone, with the advisor walking away with another lord, Aemond could be cordial and kind to the guest. Perhaps it was his mother who had suggested he talk to her. "The Princess told me she has not talked to you. She wishes to," Alicent said a few days ago. "Please welcome her; she knows nothing of us," Alicent said. "Poor thing,"

"She has wished to talk to me!" An unexplainable excitement. Now that the moment has arrived, Aemond finds himself talking about the mundane. Schooling. Education. Family. Poetry. She spoke of the poets from Qarth and their legendary love tales, rivaling the storytellers of Westeros. How her fathers gave her poetry books, her one regret was not bringing them along. Aemond admired how she talked of her family so freely. Such admiration in her eyes for her own kin, he had wished he felt the same. The young Prince would watch as not one nor two but three servants rushed past him in the halls, carrying boxes of treasures and piles of letters. It took more than a raven for whatever Léi Leng received. Aemond couldn't even get a loving glance from his father. 

"I only wish to be immortalized," She said as they both entered the courtyard. The sun shone on her, illuminating her skin and bringing him back to their conversations of poets. "Not in some book about a war," She paused. "Or violence," 

"It is the ones after us that tell tales," Aemond remarked. Septa Jayne stood in shock at the sight before her. She bowed to the both of them and then circled around the Princess. While a frail woman, her stare was like a hawk's. She began to smile, impressed by the Léi's new clothes. Aemond noticed even more details, now that he stood behind her. The hairpin, a standard style in Driftmark — is a gift. The absence of flowers in her hair. The Princess had taken a few steps, and there was the jingle of tiny bells on her anklets, muffled by the heavy dress. Septa Jayne glanced at the young Prince. 

"Prince Aemond, the Princess looks beautiful does she not?" Septa Jayne asked. Aemond had remembered what the advisor said, about men in Westeros. Thoughts pushed against each other in his head, not wanting to raise offense to the Princess. She has always looked beautiful. Well-groomed, clean, and proper. Aemond had no feelings for her, but telling a woman she looked pretty was not a crime. Though the Princess may have some strong feelings about the men here, he would not want the Princess to think that is true for him. He would be more than some lustful man. Much more than the insolentness of his brother. "I am only asking if she is a sight, Prince Aemond. Though I take your silence as a…no?" The old woman pressed again.

"She looks," Aemond pauses, catching her scent once she turns around. "She looks…fine," Septa Jayne blinked numerous times before letting out a soft chuckle. She held onto the Princess's arm, telling her they'd walk. The Princess is to paint in the gardens. They said their goodbyes, and before they took more steps, "Léi Leng!" Aemond started. "I'll see you tomorrow with Maester Dallin," And with that, Aemond walked in the opposite direction he came. His journey to his sister's quarters would have been short had he not walked the Princess to the courtyard, but I'm sure his little niece and nephew can mind the wait. 

Aemond sat cross-legged; Jaehaera bounced on his knee, tugging the length of his hair while Jaehaerys napped on his chest. He could feel small strands of drool on the side his nephew was on. Helaena embroidered caterpillars on the round piece of fabric, occasionally looking up to see her brother cooing at her daughter. 

"I think we need to call a maid to take them off your shoulders," Helaena teased. Aemond said nothing, shushing his little niece, quieting her constant babbling. He looked up at his sister; her eyes sunken in, and her pallor was gray, no doubt tired from either the children or their brother Aegon. He remembers the harsh words from the Princess' advisor just an hour ago, a cruel fate that he will never understand.

"That is not necessary," He said before little Jaehaera smacked them. "Has mother been taking care of the festivities?" The twin's name day is on the next moon, and Queen Alicent had taken to prepare for their celebration, a most appropriate hunting party in the Kingswoods. Aemond had never quite understood the need for celebration that involved hunting, for the celebration of a toddler's birth no less, but it is always just a gathering for the lords and ladies. 

He had remembered his own hunting party for his 7th name day. It was awful. An acute food poisoning, how could he get sick from a freshly hunted deer? 

"She has," Helaena said. "The eagle will be your guide," She whispered just before a guard announced Alicent's presence. Their mother walked in, stressed once again. In moments like these, the Prince wonders if Léi Leng's mother is always running around. Or…would it be her father's? 

Alicent smiled, picking up Jaehaera and bouncing her up and down. Helaena quickly put down her materials, hovering over the child while their mother insisted on holding them. "Everything is final," Alicent said. "The festivities will be underway…though in your father's condition, it may be hard for him to actually do any hunting," 

"Mother, may I talk to you?" Aemond asks. "To put in a word," She nods. Jaehaerys and Jaehaera are given to the maids. Once they step out, Aemond has difficulty looking at his mother. He can tell when Alicent only focuses on his eye patch, the shakiness of her hand that only quelled as years went on. So Aemond turns his head. "I have…made conversation with Léi Leng," 

"Lay what?" Alicent said. 

"Léi Leng. That is what her people call her. It means Divine Princess of Leng," His mother was shocked, knowing of her son's quest for knowledge. "I am glad you spoke to her. How did this come about?" Aemond was silent. 

"I caught them. Léi Leng and her advisor are on their way to Septa Jayne. He had some other pressing duties, so I took her to the courtyard," Alicent stood still. "She said she wants to learn under Maester Dallin. To join me during my lessons,"

"Aemond, I do not think that-"

"She has been begging her advisor for months. I've heard them together. That Pentoshi man's teachings are all wrong," He explains. 

Alicent sighed. "Women learn with the Septa," Her brows furrowed. "I cannot imagine what word would swirl if they learn that she is being taught under the Maester," She pauses. "I have heard whispers from the handmaidens of her cries for home. There's scratch-"Alicent closes her eyes before opening them again. "Never mind about that. I just want her to partake in practices that can calm her. She has had a long journey, a lonely feeling that I…see myself in. I'm sorry I cannot," 

"I understand, mother. Could it be at least one lesson a week? That is a compromise. The pride of one's home should never dull and a guest in our home should bring no embarrassment," Aemond said. "She told me she learns the same subjects I do; her knowledge could be beneficial. I believe that a young princess who traded 10 of her horses for protection, traveling the Dothraki Sea is no single feat," He treads carefully. "At least let her prove herself," 

Alicent sighed. "I will talk to your father. He will decide. I am glad you spoke to her, Aemond. Though, it seems like it is more than I expected," The young Prince noticed a gleam in her eyes.

—

Princess's POV

Weeks later, I stood at the end of the table, Prince Aemond to my left. Some of the small council members had joined. Xhoha to my right and Maester Dallin at the other end. The King's seat stands empty. A map of an unknown land mass lay on a table, with battalions and banners. I watched Xhoha lick his teeth, getting the last chewing tobacco while Aemond sat still; he seemed familiar with this map. Lord Tyland was the last to join, his eyes met mine, and he displayed a smile.

Maester Dallin, with his bald head and garb, planted his hands on the table. "This is a map modeled after a mixture of lands in the known world. To prove that you can learn the same lessons Prince Aemond learns, I want you to display your knowledge," Maester Dallin started. "Tell me again, how did your ancestor, Khiara, the Great overthrow the YiTish conquerors?" 

"She gathered the common people, seven out of 10 of the Lengii clans at the time, YiTish people who were tired of the Emperor's rule, and hired mercenaries. It was an overthrow that took years. She had spies who reported to her. One spy, disguised as a concubine, lured him to a field under the pretenses of… lovemaking," The men gawked. I stopped before continuing. "Khiara threw him a sword. She said that a man only endowed with his…." Aemond smiled. "You know," Maester Dallin agreed. The men in the room seemed to laugh. "She threw him the sword, and they battled in the field. She won," 

"Thank you for the history lesson," Maester Dallin began. "Let us begin," He took out a stick and pointed to the land mass. "Choose a country,"

I looked carefully at the map of six countries, all with their positives and negatives. The Emerald country, with a large land mass and many armies, was hated by its people. A cluster of countries in Onyx with harsh terrain and few allies, but offers the most natural protection. The Diamonds are small but hold the most ports and are wealthy by their small princes. A Sapphire country that is in between the others, utterly landlocked with one large lake and flatlands. Rubies boasting the largest population and honorable men. The final is the Citrines, furthest from the others but offers an incredible coastline with some port entries. "I choose the Citrine," 

Murmurs filled the table; I looked at Aemond, his face still as stone. Lord Tyland smiled. "Interesting choice," Otto Hightower muttered; the Lord Hand held the same stare as his grandson.

"Let us begin. This game is called King of Kings. It is a strategic game of answers used by the Maesters to educate the young lords," The Maester began. "I will represent all five while you represent your country. On your side, you have the same set of dice, the same as I. The four-sided dice represent what you will be advancing for, and the eight-sided dice represent how far you advance. I will ask you questions and based on your numbers and strategy, I will see how knowledgeable you are; King or is it Queen?"

"May I be called Empress instead?" I asked. Laughter erupted again. "If I win, surely you'll rename the game to Empress of Kings," I lowered my voice, "Not sure how a tabletop game is useful," Xhoha raised his eyebrow, glaring in my direction.

Within the hour, my troops had a surprise takeover by the Diamonds. The Onyx had their own fighting which I was not inclined to join, leaving my defenses to Emeralds. The Ruby, allied with the Emeralds, was my first ally, but if I submit to the Ruby, I will advance to the Emeralds. I would have lost. The Sapphire favored the Emeralds while I was left alone and defenseless. I had managed to grab the principal port from the Diamonds, but I only had gold and no army. A fleet, but not a strong one. 

"You could surrender," Maester Dallin suggests. The men at the table gave knowing stares. As if to rub in my face. "Or keep going," I rolled my dice and landed a two - political relations. "What do you propose, Empress of Citrine," 

"I also rolled one on the other dice, according to the rules that would pertain to a marriage proposal," Aemond sat up. 

The Maester laughed, "A marriage alliance in these trying times. It is most unfortunate, only a political act out of desperation," He continues after the laughter dies down. "Which country would you like to propose that to?"

I look at the map, betrayal, and bloodshed…I am surrounded by beasts. "I offer a marriage alliance to the King of Sapphire," I declare. "In exchange, he will have an equal share of my resources, my riches, my ships, and whatever he may claim. However, he must grant me and my people protection," I watched the Maester roll his dice. 

"Should have picked Rubies," Lord Tyland muttered.

"The King of Sapphires accepts your proposal," Maester Dallin rolls again. "But unfortunately, the Diamonds are enacting war over your ports. You can roll again and pursue allyship with anyone else. The Emeralds may be a formidable choice," 

I shook my head, "No. The other conflicts are fighting each other. This is not my battle anymore. I choose to abstain," 

Maester Dallin cleared his throat, "If the other kingdoms take your territory. What will you do?"

Prince Aemond rests his elbows on the table, "If history decides to repeat itself and if Léi Leng goes with Leng history, she will kill them all," Aemond looks to me. "Or am I wrong?"

An uncomfortable silence befalls the room, "I would," The tabletop game or strategic questioning ended with me having to stand down, the King of Sapphire in ruins, and the Onyxs and Emeralds at a standstill. An unhonorable war with unfortunate consequences. While I made the decisions based on what I knew and what actions my dynasty pursued…I still lost. 

Maester Dallin waddled over next to me, "Let this be a reminder of what you can do if tragedy were to ever befall your sister," One by one, the Lords and the members of the Council made their exit. Aemond stands beside me, with his hands behind his back, looking at the map. He bends down to place a small dragon figurine in the Sapphire territory. 

"When I first played this game, I was the King of Sapphires," Aemond remarked. "Rarely anyone chooses the Citrines; they would rather parallel their own Houses and choose vast lands or high populations," Aemond picked up the Citrine fleet and armies, standing them upright, doing the same for the Sapphires. 

I laughed, "It seems you are my Lord Husband in this game, then Aemond," He cleared his throat. "Thank you for arranging this,"

"I'll teach you myself," Aemond said after he fixed the Citrine and Sapphire thrones to sit next to one another. "I am finished with my duties after your evening lessons with the Septa. I spend my time studying or practicing with my blade," 

"I could not thank you enough for your extended gratitude," I told him. "But I lost the game,"

"A simple tabletop game of chance does not reflect your knowledge," He commended. "It was disrespectful of them to make a mockery by doing so," I had not thought of this as a mockery, but as I remembered their faces, clearly this time, it seemed that their snickers were directed towards me. "I will walk you back to your apartments," 

When I walked into my personal quarters, Xhoha sat at the table with the food on his plate. With a letter in hand, he scarfed down the meat pie, picked out the carrots, and chugged more ale. Upon my entrance, he stood quickly, stuffing the letter in his shirt and his tobacco to clatter on the floor. He bowed his head, bringing both hands to his forehead and out, the traditional Lengii greeting towards a royal. Then crouching down, using one finger to scoop in its contents. "I would have escorted you back, Princess, but I had-"

"{Speak YiTish to me when we are alone},"

He glared, "{My apologies. I would have, I would have escorted you out, but the Lord Hand had some pressing matters that needed to be discussed,}."

I said nothing as I sat down, one of the handmaidens coming over to cut the food for me. Another handmaiden handed me a pile of letters from home. I was eager to open them, the first one with the colored ribbon of my Pa's clan, purple. 

My little star, 

How are you? You have been away for almost two years, and I still wait for you to come to the water gardens. The little frogs you cared for have grown twice as big since you left. I hope the King and his family are kind, please come home when you find trouble. 

Pa Kiet

“{Your brother Xian ran off with a stableboy},” Xhoha said plainly. "{Your sister is courting with a YiTish prince since your father needs someone in his stead}," 

"{When did this happen?}" I ask as I shuffle through the letters. Xhoha waved his hand to dismiss the maidens. 

Xhoha stuffed his mouth again, "{A week ago}," He gulped. "{That's why your pile of letters is light}," has been getting lighter. My fathers and brothers were the only family members consistent with writing. My few friends were from home as well, but rarely my mother and never my sister. Most I receive these days are new jewels and dresses I am prohibited from wearing. "{Xian said he was tired of his duties and wished to live a free life. He took a boat with him too. Sailing their way to who knows where}," He forks the pie crust. "{They are witnessing some troubling times. It is best if you keep to yourself, they will send more letters soon enough},"

“{I will pray for his safety},” I said. I look to Xhoha, who I am still mad at. Part of me wishes to blame him for my humiliation, but I am clouded with the thoughts of my second eldest brother. The only blood child of my Baba and the bravest out of all of us. I knew his antics would get him into trouble; I just did not think I would not be there to witness it. 

Xhoha carefully set his fork down, "{You know, Princess, a marriage can be an effortful duty. Riches and protection, it can further your safety. If you choose to stay in Westeros after your 17th birthday, it would be wise to be betrothed to someone. Many powerful Lords have expressed their interest in your hand},"

"{I'm a second-born daughter, I have nothing}," I told him. 

"{Your country's resources - spices, striped horses, gold, jewels, by the gods – you were gifted the Manticore Islands. You have much more power than you know, Princess; in all my years, I just do not understand why you would not use that to your advantage}," He spits. "{Sure you have your ailments}-"

"{Oh, my screaming at night? Begging to go home? Scratching myself until I bleed? If I am not given my nightly milk, I scream at a reflection that is not mine? The guilt that eats me alive knowing that my cousin is gone}," My voice shook. "{They said that when her blood dripped on my face, I stood amongst her pool of blood, and my eyes only saw happiness. I have committed a grave crime against my family, and I don't even remember it}," I stood abruptly. "{Tell the Lords this is who I am. Now Leave!}"

Xhoha wiped his mouth, throwing the rag onto the table. 

–

A maiden walked from the end of the corridor. He was quick to catch them before they entered the Princess's apartments. "You are responsible for packing the Princess's attire, correct? For the…twins name day celebration," The maiden nodded. "Do be sure to also tell the other maidens, but be sure to pack only her red dresses. On such a momentous occasion, she should only wear the best without outshining the twins. I will have her out for you all to do your duties without intervention,"

"Yes, thank you, Bahyrr," The maiden said. "I will inform them soon as I'm able,"

"Thank you," Xhoha said. "Do not tell the Princess; I would hate for this surprise to be ruined,"

Xhoha had a lightness to his step and as he made his way to his apartment, he pulled out the letter from the Empress. 

To Xhoha Bahyrr, 

Xhoha Bahyrr, as the royal advisor of the Princess, the Empress of Leng, offers you the full power of the Princess's decisions on foreign soil. If she marries a Lord, you will be granted the Manticore Islands for your efforts. If she marries a Prince or the Empress cannot bear a daughter, those rewards will concede, and her claim to succession to the throne is still in favor. 

Bless be granted under the helm of the Old Ones.

– Empress Nita, daughter of the Late Empress Citra, Emperor Consort Kiet, and Emperor Consort Heng

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