#like 'oh why does her details keep changing' she literally just said he touched under her bra

[thetimelordbatgirl]

Just so we clear: GeorgeNotFound stans who are actually acting like Caiti should remember every single detail about what happened and perfectly word it and somehow provide filmed proof of what George did (because how else do these people expect proof besides Caiti suddenly pulling a phone out to film George), are actually beyond disgusting and are showing their true colors on how they'll treat victims around them, especially if they happen to be victims of people they like.

[writemekpop]

Soldier | Lee Jeno

Summary: When your husband Jeno returns from the military, he treats you like a stranger. You won’t let your love go without a fight. 

Genre: Husband!Jeno, angst

Word Count: 2k

Your nerves were buzzing. 

After ten months, your husband Jeno was returning from military service in Afghanistan. The title ‘husband’ didn’t mean much, though. He had left just after you got married, so you barely knew him. 

He’d been gone so long that you’d started to forget things about him – the intimate details. Like the smell of his hair or the sounds he made during sex. You’d barely spoken since he’d left.

After hours of waiting, you heard three sharp knocks. 

You pulled open the front door, heart thumping. 

Jeno. 

Jeno’s black hair was shorter than you remembered, but his curly fringe was already beginning to grow back. He felt taller, more muscled in his military cargo. His honey skin was tanned from hours in the sun and there were deep purple bags under his eyes. 

“Hi,” you said, inexplicably breathless.  

“You changed the code on the door,” he said, frowning. “I couldn’t get in.”

The space between you flooded with awkwardness. 

“One of the neighbours had break-in a few months back, so we had to change all of our codes. Crazy story!” you said, laughing. 

Jeno just stared at you in stony silence. 

You moved to the side to let him in.

You followed Jeno into the living room. Your eyes fell on the firm bulge of his biceps under his cargo top, and your stomach fluttered. 

Jeno was staring at the checkerboard rug. “When did you get this? I liked the old rug we had better…” he grumbled.

You touched his arm lightly, choosing to ignore him. 

“I missed you,” you whispered. 

You reached in, trying to kiss Jeno’s lips – but your nose bumped against his. You tilted your head to the right, but the same thing happened. Left, no better. 

You felt Jeno’s strong hands grip your shoulders. 

Your entire body set alight. Would Jeno push you onto the couch and ravish you right there? 

But to your disappointment, Jeno just pushed you away from him.

“Y/n, I’m tired and I need to shower. Can we save the reunion for later?” 

His rejection came like a slap. 

“Sure!” you said, trying your best to sound chipper. “Want me to join you in the shower?” You bit your lip and winked in the way you knew Jeno loved. 

Jeno paused. “Umm…” He scratched the back of his neck, avoiding your gaze. “I sort of meant… alone.”

“Oh…”  You prayed that the ground would swallow you whole. 

Jeno walked off. When you heard the bathroom door shut, you slumped onto the sofa. This was so much harder than you had expected. Did Jeno not… want you anymore? 

Ten minutes later, you heard a yelp from the other room. 

You ran into the bedroom to see Jeno, dripping wet and naked apart from a towel wrapped around his hips, shaking like he’d seen a ghost.

“What’s the matter?” 

Jeno pointed to the corner. “What’s that… thing?” 

You giggled when you saw what he was pointing at. 

You picked up the black and white striped kitten and held her to your chest. 

“This is Kahleesi. I bought her with our wedding present money. It was lonely after you left… and she’s been keeping me company.” The kitten licked your chin lovingly.

Jeno grimaced. “I hate cats. They creep me the fuck out.” 

You held the cat out towards Jeno, but he jumped back, eyes wide. 

“You’ve literally been in a war but you’re afraid of a fluffy little cat? Some strong military man you are!” You laughed.

You looked at Jeno, expecting him to laugh too, but he was scowling. You cleared your throat. You clearly weren’t there yet. 

Jeno turned away and dried himself off. You stared at the expanse of muscles on his back. There was a deep scar on his shoulder blade. You shuddered. 

“Where does it sleep?” Jeno asked. 

“Khaleesi sleeps in my… I mean, our bed.” 

“I can’t share with a cat. Doesn’t it have a- a cage or something?”

“A cage?” you laughed. But then you saw the deep bags under Jeno’s eyes, and your heart softened. You sighed. “Why don’t you take the bed tonight, and I’ll sleep on the couch with Kahleesi. She’ll need to be trained not to sleep on the bed. It’ll take time.” 

Jeno nodded and flopped down onto the bed.

You hoped Jeno would insist on cuddling you despite the cat, but he just rolled over and went to sleep. The Jeno you married promised to hold you in his strong arms every night of his life. The Jeno you saw now was… a stranger.  

After a cold night on the couch, your body aching with longing for Jeno, the sound of thumping woke you up. It was only 5AM. 

You could hear Jeno clattering about in the bedroom. It was strange. You were so used to living in silence that the noise from another human being shook you awake. Jeno must still be on military time. 

Jeno stormed into the living room, eyes red. 

“Y/n. Where’s all my stuff?”

“Good morning to you, too,” you grumbled, still groggy. You were not a morning person. 

“My things, Y/n.” Jeno snapped. “All my clothes have gone, I can’t find any of my books. What have you done with them?”

You stood up. “Oh… um, I moved them to a storage unit.” You gulped. “I didn’t know when you were coming back and- and, I have a lot of stuff.” You cringed.  

Jeno’s brows were furrowed deeply. He looked… genuinely hurt.  

You ran towards him and gripped his arm. You were surprised by the firmness of his muscles, but you pushed that thought away. 

“Jeno, I’m so sorry. I’ll get them for you this evening, I promise!”

Jeno yanked his arm out of your grip. “Clearly, you’ve moved on from me. Have you been fucking other guys too?” he spat. 

Your mouth fell open. “How can you say that? I asked you not to enlist so early on in our marriage. We barely even knew each other before you… you vanished!” 

Jeno just shrugged. “I owed it to my country. But I’m here now. And it’s obvious you don’t need me anymore. There isn’t even a single picture of me in here.”

You picked up the delicate locket that you were wearing. 

“Look!” You opened the silver heart and angled it towards Jeno. Inside was a picture of the two of you kissing on your wedding day. “I haven’t taken this off since the day you left!” 

Jeno raised his eyebrows. 

You yanked the necklace off and chucked it at his feet. “How dare you accuse me of cheating! You’ve been dodging my calls for the past ten months!” 

You ran into the hallway and put on your coat. 

Jeno followed you. He was gripping his hair with both hands. “W-where are you going?” 

“Work,” you snapped. 

“But it’s a Saturday?” he said, looking puzzled. 

You blushed. “Money’s been tight, okay? I’ve been picking up shifts at the convenience store.”  

In an ideal world, you’d have shared all your worries with Jeno – that was what partners were for. But this was no ideal. You slammed the door behind you. 

After work, you went by the storage unit, and dragged two large suitcases with Jeno’s stuff in through the front door.

“I’m back!” you called. “Jeno?”

There was no response. You heart dropped to your stomach. Had Jeno disappeared for good?

Tears pricked your eyes as you walked into the living room. 

When you looked inside, you gasped. 

Jeno was sitting on the rug, shirtless, holding a ball of string high in the air. Khaleesi was in his lap, her little paw stretched up towards the string. 

When you saw Jeno’s naked chest, your mouth went dry. His torso was lean, yet defined with rippling muscles. There were so many lines you didn’t even know existed. What shocked you the most were his thick forearms – they were covered in claw marks. 

“Oh my god, Jeno,” you cried. “What happened?”

“The kitten’s not so bad, you know,” Jeno said, chuckling. “She’s feisty, like her mama.” Jeno’s eyes darted towards yours, his cheeks darkening. “She tore my shirt to shreds.” 

You knelt on the floor beside your husband. The kitten jumped into your arms. You were increasingly aware of how close you were to Jeno’s starkly naked body. 

“She’s sitting on your lap… that means she loves you,” you said. “I…” you cleared your throat. “I love you too. I shouldn’t have stormed out like that.” 

Jeno’s expression turned serious. He held your hand gently. “I shouldn’t have yelled. And… I’m sorry for going away for so long. I’m done with the army - I can’t leave you again.”

The knot inside your stomach finally began to unwind. 

“Do you think… we’ll be okay?” You couldn’t bear to look at Jeno, so you stared down at your joined hands. 

“I know it.” Jeno’s voice was deep, confident… sexy. It made your entire body buzz. 

Jeno placed his finger under your chin, lifting your face up to meet his gaze. His dark eyes were smouldering.

“We just need to get to know each other again.” His gaze darted to your lips. “What makes us… click.” 

Your heart started to pound. 

Jeno leant forwards, closing the gap between you. His mouth pressed against yours, and he kissed you hungrily. 

His tongue grazed yours, making you shiver. You wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders and shuffled onto his lap. 

Jeno’s hands curled around your waist, holding you tight. You kissed him deeper, you couldn’t get enough of him -  his scent, his firm, warm body. It was intoxicating, and you wanted more. 

You brought one hand up to his black hair and pulled, hard. Jeno let out a deep groan that went straight to your core. 

You pushed him till he was lying flat on the floor. 

“Honey, we have a lot of catching up to do,” you purred, straddling his hips. 

Jeno smiled up from underneath you, black eyes crinkling. “Can’t wait.”

—

MAIN MASTERLIST

Let us know what you thought in the comments or on anon! 💋

[alipeeps]

Episode 20

Goddammit Bai Jiu, you had better be pulling a double agent thing like Pei Sijing turned out to be or I swear I will never forgive you!

This flashback montage of how he lied to everyone is giving me the rages.

I can't help thinking about him just the previous episode telling Li Lun that Zhu Yan (who had gotten himself trapped in a demon-suppressing cage in order to protect Bai Jiu) "Zhao Yuanzhou is my best friend". Grrrrr...

Ugh, and the flashback montage of how he sealed Zhu Yan's senses is even worse! You sneaky, devious little shit, Bai Jiu.

Fuck's sake, they've been working towards this from the very start, right down to the list of people to be on the team...

I keep feeling like there is information that either I have missed or that simply was not presented in previous eps? Last ep they said Pei Sijing was the Prime Minister's representative - and I was like, eh? Since when?

And now Wen Zongyu says she's the Prime Minister's bodyguard?! I don't remember that ever being mentioned?

Oh fuuuuuuck!! So it WAS Chongwu Camp running that clinic with the imprisoned demons 8 years ago...

And 8 years later it is still the ever-burning wood - that Zhu Yan accidentally absorbed back then - that Wen Zongyu is after!

Well, the little shit does at least look a bit conflicted...

And.. right, okay, I watch a lot of cdrama, I know this is just how it goes, it's very common to have scenes where they stand around dramatically talking about their schemes etc and almost kinda waiting for the next move/attack to be made etc but really?

You've had it laid out in explicit detail that all they need to do is use a needle to seal your sense of touch and that's it, kiss your core goodbye, but you're still gonna just stand there and watch and wait for them to come at you with the needle? You could turn around and be out that fucking door in a heartbeat dude, why don't you?

Oh SHIT the entire room is painted with demon-suppressing charms?!!

Dude, just fucking RUN then - you can outpace a fucking 13 year old, surely?

Annnd now you can't do that because the cavalry has arrived to cut off your exit.

Pleeeeeeease tell me we're gonna get one of those famous GJM flashbacks where it turns out they suspected something and they planned for this?

Ayyyy teleport device for the win!!

And from the sigh of relief, Bai Jiu did not want to have to do this. But that doesn't fucking change that he has been doing it right up until this point.

Uhhhh is that not the Prime Minister's carriage that previously stopped for "Wen Xiao" who was blocking the road? Why is it now seeping blood as it passes along the street...

I guess Not-Wen Xiao was hungry eh?

Ahh Zhuo Yichen, Zhuo YIchen...

Yeah best not to pin your hopes on maybe's... this is a cdrama after all...

Situ's mansion? Am I having memory lapses again? That sound's familiar but I can't think why...

Oh and presumably it's because of Mr Situ who has just arrived in a panic. Can we assume the guards are here to arrest Wen Xiao for eating the Prime Minister?

Hold up, it's Chongwu Camp that have come for her? How come they keep coming around to enforce things on behalf of the Prime Minister?

Oh ya think?!!

Oooh she's clever...

Oh she's VERY clever! Ask Mr Situ to hide you in his mansion... where you can then search for the divine wood!!

Oooh dontcha just wanna punch that smirk off his face?

This fishpond is so fucking extra and I love it so..

Oh you've got a wife hidden away in a sealed fucking room have you bro? Bedridden and sensitive to light and wind, is she? That doesn't exactly explain why the room is literally sealed shut?!!

Oh and was that a glimpse of the inside of the room with branches in it?

Oh wtf wait is Mr Situ Bai Jiu's dad?! I hadn't connected the names before. So the mystery wife who is sealed away is Bai Jiu's mum? The one who we've previously seen footage of Bai Jiu crying outside her room as branches spread out from under the door? Is Mrs Situ a pagoda demon as I have previously theorised?

My god these two. Zhu Yan's like.. didn't expect you to be the subject of a city wide hunt.. impressive! And Wen Xiao's like... why shouldn't I be.. are you doubting my ability to excel?

Is poor Zhuo Yichen now the only one who doesn't know about Bai Jiu? Shouldn't somebody maybe clue him in?

Why would the crime scene carriage be sent to Demon Hunting Bureau when it's a) Chongwu Camp who are charged with arresting the alleged perpetrator and b) Demon Hunting Bureau could well be assumed to be biased in favour of Wen Xiao and not objective in assessing the evidence?

Yeah why has he been carrying that copy of the book around all this time?

Check out Sherlock fucking Holmes here making deductions about the owner of this book based on its appearance...

Ahhh finally the penny has dropped for Zhuo Yichen that they've previously encountered a demon who was able to appear as Wen Xiao...

Ayyy it's our favourite mountain god!!

Oooh you clever boy, you purified the yao water? Plan "repair the baize token" is back on track!!

Aaaaand yup Ao Yin is the demon Li Lun released from the cage at the clinic 8 years ago...

I sure hope that confidence is warranted. Maybe you should be... ohh I dunno... looking at how to unseal your 4 senses so that you are not still vulnerable to having the last 1 sealed?

And didn't I fucking say that somebody needs to warn Zhuo Yichen about Bai Jiu? Cos here the little fucker is and Zhuo dage has no fucking idea that he's a Chongwu Camp traitor.

Yeah you better run you little shit.

Oh man, that's badass. I love when we get a reminder of just how powerful - and scary - he really is.

Oh wait, lemme guess, Wen Zongyu promised him that whatever skanky research he is performing with demon blood - and that he needs the ever-burning wood from Zhao Yuanzhou for - can cure whatever's going on with Bai Jiu's mum?

Goddamn this kid is such a good actor though. It's killing me that we may never get to see his portrayal of Xia Sini/kiddy Chu Wanning in Immortality - he will have fucking nailed it, I'm sure.

FUCKING CALLED IT!! That bastard promised him to save his mum if he joined the Demon Hunting Bureau and sealed Zhu Yan's 5 senses.

Oh fuck the baby Xiao Jiu actor is super fucking cute!!

Uhoh is that a blood moon? Is it (again!) the same one from 8 years ago where Zhu Yan wigged out?

And did Bai Jiu's pagoda spirit mum also lose control of her powers during that blood moon?

Oh dang so his name is Situ Jiu and he chose Bai Jiu when he went to train under Wen Zongyu.

And again Wen Zongyu said his mum was killed by a demon. Is that a mis-translation? Like... is she ill... or dead?

And I still think she was not so much killed/made ill by a demon as... she is a demon and she lost control/something went wrong...

She's not dead or ill she's.... a tree!

Fucking knew it!

What on earth was the point of keeping this from him all this time though Mr Situ? Ffs...

Ah-ha!! Mummy was not just a demon, she was half-demon, half-god, like Ying Lei... and that's why Bai Jiu had divine power... and why the pagoda demon said he was lying when he said he was human...

Oh wow, she's proper old school demi-god too, as old as the gods...

Ah fuck so it was the same blood moon and it was the disappearance of the baize token that injured her and made her revert to her true form. So... presumably fixing the baize token might also fix her?

(And if she is descended from the same source as the divine wood... would wood from her tree form serve as the divine wood needed to repair the token? And is that why the clues about the divine wood were rumoured to be hidden at Situ mansion?)

That is a very good fucking question.

Why the FUCK didn't you tell your goddamn son what was going on Mr Situ, instead of leaving him hurting all these years and wide open to being manipulated by the bad guys?!!

You fucking tell him Zhuo Yichen.

Fucking kid's got more guts and responsibility than any of you bloody adults.

But Xiao Jiu, sweetie, can I please recommend that you put all of your clever medical knowledge to immediate use to fucking unseal all that you've done to Zhu Yan so that he is no longer vulnerable to being sealed by a single fucking needle?

Ah fuck... was that ending Chongwu camp closing in on them while they were all having a heart to heart?

[cynettic]

I just read Kitsune reader x yan Scaramouche's fic, may I have gotten hooked on it? and of course, it's just perfect and that's why I'm here to lose a part two with nsfw, thank you in advance and understand if you refuse:3

Link to Part 1

Summary - Taking you captive, Scaramouche continues to see you as a pillar of support. Coming back home to have you there, always. Even if it meant chaining you up.

Pairings - F!Kitsune!Reader x Yan!Scaramouche

Warnings - Smut, slight noncon ( I tried to make it as consensual as possible but its difficult with yandere themes ), fingering, electricity play

Rating - NSFW

Penpal - Ahhh I'm actually beginning to get attached to this series, might end up writing a couple more posts with different hc and stuff. I hope you liked the post though, have a great day <3

A/N - The literal definition of the ‘stoic cruel boy who’s mean to everyone but you.’ Oh well, Scaramouche is ooc af, but I did change a few things in his backstory so its supposed to make sense for this story ;) Also- since we dont know Scaramouche’s actual name, I have the reader still… yknow, call him Scaramouche. Which is kinda weird cause its his harbinger name but oh well. Also, credit to @cycletr4in for proofreading it ;3

Taglist - @cursedraiden

Stay with Me pt.2

Scaramouche was a gentle captor.

In contrast to piercing eyes and harsh stares when it came to others, he had a soft spot for you. Like the ice that encased him whole melted at your touch, craving for the warmth only you could give him. For your arms around him, to play pretend and imagine he were a child, free, fearless, unbound. A child in your arms, safe and protected.

But you were held hostage, which meant that the chains around your wrists and legs held you down and secured you. Like you were bound to one spot like you’d always been, except this time you didn't have a choice.

You weren't waiting for the Kitsune Saiguu.

Hell, you didn't even have your vision.

This brought on resentment for the dark haired boy. You hated him, you despised him for holding you down under his own judgment. But at the same time, all you saw in him was a child, a little kid who hadn't had the time to grow up. The one who refused to do so because it was his only way to survive in the type of world he lived in. Hide behind that same facade he developed as a kid, snide remarks and unrelenting cruelty.

Just to come back to your arms, sobbing because he was still that child. Sobbing because he was still hurt. Sobbing because you were still his beacon of light, of hope.

He depended on you.

And as much as you built up harsh words to use against him, they dissolved in your mouth when you saw him. His vulnerability that he saved for you and you only. A deep part of you cared for him, a little too much.

Gentle fingers brushed through the locks of Scaramouche’s hair, twirling it around and playing with the strands. It was smooth, a small detail no one would have the chance to notice from the distance he put around himself and others. A quiet hum left his lips as he leaned against your chest, eyes fluttering closed against the soothing feeling of you against him.

The lavish silk sheets were soft against your skin, pillow pushing your form to sit up. Just enough to have Scaramouche in your arms, knees on either side of his body as his head rested under your chin. His chest rose and descended, almost on beat with yours, if not just a tad slower.

You hoped he wouldn't hear the way your heart thrummed against your chest.

Warmth, his body flushed against yours, the luxury of a bed and the small candlelight on your bedside. Different from what you’d grown into just on the side of the trail, sitting for decades. Or with your time with the Kitsune Saiguu, it was never this warm, never this gentle.

But this warmth ended at your beating heart, furiously blazing. Sending an urge of adrenaline through your body, whispering ‘run’ through your veins. A primal urge that would've had your hands around Scaramouche’s neck, till he was wrangling and dead.

Till you could escape.

Hand slowly sliding down his jawline, you let your gentle fingers ghost along the soft skin of his neck. Claws outstretched and ready, sharp and pointed with a deadly intent to kill. You could end him so quickly, overturn his trust and make an escape. You deserved it, you deserved freedom. Not a delusional boy who thought himself protector against someone who’s lived decades more than him.

Jolting at the sensation of a soft grip on your wrist, you watched with idle fascination as he simply cupped your wrist in his hold. Not stopping you, not restraining you, he simply brought your hand to his face. To his lips where he pressed the softest of kisses into your palm. So heartfelt and genuine that all you could do was freeze, not even considering clawing his face.

“I love you.”

You both stayed in that position for a few moments more, silence cradling the tension that slowly dissipated from your body. Forlorn eyes watching as he shift the angle of your wrist to kiss your fingertips. He wasn't waiting for an answer, basking in these soft moments where he could hide in your hold. Like a child, forced to grow up too quickly, yearning back for his foolish naivety, yearning for the childhood he missed.

You were that childhood.

Which is why he clung to you so dearly, showed expressions he didnt know he could make, hold you captive under the impression that it was ‘right.’ What he was doing was okay.

Claws retracted, you pursued your lips, holding back the tears of frustration that burned at your eyes. You hated him, hated him for the chains on your wrists, for the disappearance of your vision that you’d given so much value to. Hated him for the warmth he still made you feel.

You hated him.

You felt like a housewife in some respects. Not with the cleaning and cooking part, and of course no children were part of the equation. But in terms of support, you stayed rooted to that room, loose chains too strong for you to break or tug holding you down. Window was too far, and you were stuck moving around the bed and the desk that sat just a little farther away.

Attempts at having your vision back or more freedom in movement had been discussed with Scaramouche, but as childlike and free as he acted with you, he was not an idiot.

“I don’t plan on underestimating you,” was his answer, head resting on the plush of your chest. “You’re strong, always were. But I have to take extremes to make sure you don’t get hurt, some people out there are stronger than you.”

You wanted to point out that there were a ton of people stronger than him as well, but you kept your mouth shut. “Can I at least see the house? I’ve been cooped up here for so long…”

And he cant say no to such an innocent request as that right?

So he unlocks the chains, the vision at his side reminding you that he was strong. You solely knew that he’d been tough as a kid, and under the intensive training he’d seemed to endure, he was much much stronger. You werent willing to give it a go and lose his trust just yet.

Not like he really trusted you anyways-

At the very least, you’d hoped to get some sort of blueprint of the house, and all you’d received was confusion and your mind making up that the house itself was a maze.

“Didnt we… just pass through here?”

Glancing at the obvious frustration on your face, Scaramouche chuckled, pulling your arm through the hallways you swear you’d seen three times prior. “Nope, most of the hallways look pretty similar. The house wasn't built for dumbasses.”

You flashed him a look and were about to make some snideish rebuttal before you saw the smirk. You knew what he was doing, trying to comfort you with casual arguments you both used to have. Consisting of you telling him to work on his people skills, and him calling you a lazy ass. Of course you missed it, but you also knew you couldn't go back to it.

And then there was the issue when you learned that he was a harbinger.

A scene you didnt want to replay in your head, when a maid burst into your room, Scaramouche acting a tad more intimate. He had an awful tendency to do that, hug your waist and press his face against the crook of your neck. Press gentle kisses down the length of your shoulder that had you shuddering. You weren't used to intimacy, and considering you’d watched him grow up, it was just weird.

Stuttering, the maid had demanded that he was requested by the Tsarista. You’d seen the fear in her eyes when Scaramouche slowly turned to her, seen the unshakable immobility of standing under his gaze.

“Do not enter.” He said, “It’s on the door.”

That was the first time you’d seen Scaramouche kill.

You hoped it’d be the last.

But you’d seen death before, so much death in the time of the Kitsune Saiguu. And for a few seconds, you found yourself fearless as you yanked against the chains, yelling at his figure at the doorway.

“Tsarista?” You snarled, standing just a few feet away from him. His hand on the girls neck, clenching around the pretty skin of hers. Disgusted, the chains that held you back from closing the gap and throwing the girl away from him were impossible to overcome. “Why the hell does she need you?!”

‘Let go,’ you wanted to say. ‘Let her go, she’s going to die.’

It worked, because the ironclad grip was gone, the maid tumbling to the ground lifelessly. You’d been too late, and now her blood was on his hands, your hands. This was your fault and you had half the self control not to thrash against the chains with sharp claws, hands on his neck.

The hard steel gaze vanished in an instant, and like he’d regained his senses, he took a few steps to you. Hands clenching to fists before loosening to fingertips brushing against his palms. Confusion, regret and guilt clouded his features like a child waiting to be reprimanded. You didn't back away, stood firm and fierce when standing and keeping a tough front.

You wanted to cry.

“Its… its a long story.” He finally stated to your question, and when you didnt budge, he took a deep breath. In control again, he closed the distance between the two of you, “I’m sorry.” And that same thrum of electricity jolted through your body, sending you into a spiral of the girls lifeless eyes and Scaramouche’s childlike eyes. Till everything went black.

You woke up with the body gone. Scaramouche was gone as well.

You learned that Scaramouche liked to have things his way. Which meant that he was always in control, always had control of every situation.

Even in those short stretches of vulnerability when he rested in your arms, he still held something over you. And you had to adapt, shift for his wishes, coddle him and stay as his beacon. Because he was stronger, and even if you’d find some way to escape, he would find you.

It was odd, and you slowly let go of the image of him as a child, you knew he was a lot older. He’d probably reached the age your body was stuck in, and with every sweet kiss he pressed to your lips, you knew he saw you as some sort of lover. But as someone who wasn't in control, you simply had to play along, just until you found some way to make your escape.

Without killing him.

_-_-_-_-_

“Strip.”

Laying on one side of the bed, your eyes jolted open at the commanding voice. Slowly, you sat up, eyeing the dim figure at the doorway. Without the help of a candle or the moonlight at the window, you could distinguish Scaramouche at the doorway, taking off the large headpiece as he flung it to the ground.

“Excuse me…?” Your voice was soft, rusty after an evening nap.

“I’ll make you feel good,” was his only answer. Slowly making his way to the bedside till he could properly face you. His eyes were soft, but there was an odd sort of determination that you hadnt seen before. You held back his stare, confusion lacing your features when he suddenly started pulling off loose decorations that hung on his clothes. Just till he unlaced the vest and slid off his shirt. “Don’t worry.” But you didnt know quite what he meant until he leaned further to you, catching you off guard.

So you yelped when his hands suddenly slammed down on your shoulders, shifting you to have access to the buttons of your top layer. He was quick when undoing them, simply swatting away at your hands when you protested and tried to pull him away. Throwing it to the edge of the room when he was done, you could only thrash in horror when he undid your trousers just as quickly, pulling them down before you could grab them back up.

“Scaramouche? Hey-”

And then he threw you down on the bed, exposing you in your undergarments in the cool air of the room. Shivers crept up your spine and bristled across your skin, and before you could curl up to at the very least hide away, you felt a tug at your chains. Fear finally settled in when you saw Scaramouche attach the chain to the bedpost, until your hand was lifted up and he began to do the same to the other.

“Wait wait wait, stop and explain what you’re-”

Only then did he pause from what he was doing, slowly looking down to properly face you. His eyes slid up and down your body, and he took a step towards you. “I’ll make you feel good,” were his only words, and you were forced to take them as all he was planning on giving you. Only when he sat on the bed next to you did you realize what he meant, hand settling on your shoulder, waiting.

“Alright,” you said slowly. Painfully, the words bit your tongue, but you were merciless against someone who had control against the situation. You could say no and you knew Scaramouche would stop, he was gentle to you and you only. And even if he’d been firm just before, you knew that he’d still stop if you asked him to.

A part of you felt thrilled to have that power over him.

Another part of you just wanted to escape.

But you didnt have any hope to do so unless you were willing too give him everything. Because he expected everything and would do anything in his power to obtain it. You’d let him fiddle around with this delusion, thinking that he had control. Until he didnt.

Which is why you didnt flinch when his hand gently slid up your stomach, cold against the warmth you’d had under the blankets. Rubbing gingerly against your skin and drawing smooth shapes over before he slowly slid over your body. His eyes seemed to glint under the darkness of the room, lust filled and wanting.

You didnt shift uncomfortably, you pretended to be that doll he expected you to be.

Just staring up at him as he slowly leaned down to kiss you. His lips felt like snowflakes on a winters day, idly swaying side to side to catch one in your mouth. Jolting like electricity when they melted into your touch, red and swollen when he pulled back. You now vividly felt every touch, as if a current flowed and static jittered in the places he briefly brushed his fingertips.

“You always take such good care of me,” he breathed, lips slowly drifting down your chin. Just past your jawline and right on your neck. The space between your head and shoulder, a soft vulnerable spot that had your lips humming at the affectionate pressure. “Its my turn to take care of you.”

And then his lips were everywhere, collarbone, shoulders, cleavage. Just until his teeth were tugging off your bra, face nuzzled in between both breasts. Both of his hands now resided on your hips, grabbing both thighs to hold them up and against him. You could feel him hard, pressing so close to your heated core.

You managed to keep your reactions in check.

Just until he slowly grinded against you, mouth on your breasts as he again pecked the soft mounds, molding his lips against them as if he could remember the texture, memorize the feel. It was just to that point that mindless sounds slipped past your lips, turning to gasps when his hands on your thighs suddenly buzzed, and static rushed in. Your legs felt weak, entire body thrumming in response to the electricity he sent jolting.

He was using his vision.

The realization was numb against his lips on your breasts, hands slowly stroking the skin of your sides, travelling up. He hovered over you for mere seconds before mashing his lips against you once more, different. He was no longer gentle, and it was with the contact on your tail that you lost all control. When he gently moved it out of the way, backing up.

You were a mess.

Not that you tried to be, you’d been doing your best not to enjoy his touch. But it was hard when your core heated up so fast, mashing both legs together in hopes he wouldn't notice. You knew he would, any action beyond that was just you trying to save your dignity.

He sat there like he was enjoying the sight, the first time you’d seen him actually portray any visual confirmation of satisfaction towards the chains. He’d drink dry any ounce of control you gave him, and it was impossible not to give him it all when you were visionless and vulnerable.

But the dignity you struggled so hard to keep shattered when his hands brushed against your inner thigh.

Fingers slowly made their way to the padded fabric of your undergarments, two digits rubbing the area slowly with expertise. You bit your lip, muffling any groan of anticipation, hiding the way your hips tried to rock back into the gesture. Desperate, oh so desperate. Hiding back the whimpers as he slowly quickened the pace of his fingers against your garments. “Archons Y/n,” he murmured. “I haven't even put anything in and you’re already a squirming mess.”

“Shut u-up,” was all you managed, trying to shift away from the pressure against your clit. But his other hand was on your hip, holding in place. You could only watch and press your thighs tightly together as he slowly slid down your panties, resuming hovering over you. Distracting you with kisses, his fingers gently stroked your core, two fingers slowly sliding into your cunt using your juices.

He was gentle when pumping both fingers in and out, too slow when you thrust your hips to meet his fingers, pleading for him to go faster. But he liked hearing your cries, slowing down when you begged, quickening when you whined and just lay there, taking it.

You shuddered the first time electricity jolted from his digits.

It was when he had three fingers that he sent the static up your body, back arching with such intensity that it even had him chuckling. “Oh? You like it that much?” And then it is like something buzzed against your body, fingers vibrating against your clit as your thighs tightened around his hand. So much that you thought you’d crush it, but it didn't matter, not with the electrifying feeling against your body. It felt so odd, so overwhelmingly good that it had your legs sliding up and down the bedside, toes curling as the static grew and you fell paralyzed to his touch.

It didn't take long with his fingers thrusting in and out of you to cum. Moaning mess when he gave you the time to breathe, teeth biting your bottom lip and then mashing against yours. Your eyes grew fuzzy and most happened in a haze, and all you knew the entire time was that you’d given yourself to him, and that it felt good. You couldn't see the childlike wonder in his eyes anymore, not the need of a beacon or of support. No, the look he shared was feral, the smile tinting his lips almost scary. But it felt too good to care, and you let yourself enjoy his ministrations.

He pulled out and suddenly his own shorts were undone, boxers thrown to the side of the room just like all your other clothing. You didn't see how big he was, just felt his hard shaft against your throbbing cunt, pussy dripping and legs open wide and tired after your first go at it.

You expected him to be gentle like he’d been with his fingers. But he pressed the tip against your core, and in one full motion he was in. Teeth grinding against each other, you held back a scream, shock coursing through your body, overwhelmed with pain and discomfort. It hurt. But it was quickly overshadowed by his movements as he slid in and out of you, slow when pulling his hips back, and rocking himself completely inside you each time. A pattern that let you catch your breath and lose it all the same. Like he was continuously having a go at hitting the deepest parts of you, pulling back before fully thrusting into you and sending waves of pleasure and pain alike.

It was expected, but you couldnt hear yourself.

Not with your mind trapped in a haze of how he felt, body still buzzing after how he’d pulsed his vision through you. And now you were at the mercy of his member, hips swaying along with his, no energy for you to rock with him and try to push him deeper.

Archons, you didn't even think he could go deeper.

But you were proven wrong again and again as he kept the steady pace, hands clawing at your ass and hips. Stabilizing himself and trying to press himself against you, as far as he could go. Slowly, his hands drifted up to your hair, playing with the soft sensation of your furry ears. Pinching and rubbing, fingers coaxing the back of them like a massage. So gentle, but it paled in comparison to the harsh treatment of his dick.

You came first, gripping the chain with your hands in an attempt to stay stable. Walls clenching around him one last time before you got your release, your moans turning into cries when he continued to thrust into you. Your body felt numb, all nerves centred on the way he pounded into you, chasing his own release.

When he did, he pressed his head into your chest, his own breaths heavy with pleasure. Not pulling out, you could only lay there helplessly as his seed filled you, warm in contrast to the electricity he’d shot up your body just earlier. He didnt pull out, and laying in your chest, your heavy breathing didnt stop until he was asleep, collapsing on you and using you as support yet again.

Taking only a minute later to regain control of your senses, you shifted uncontrollably at his member inside of you, sending waves of pleasure every time you moved. Your wrists were restrained and you were stuck in this position till morning.

Achingly, you looked down at the boy, wondering how you would ever manage to escape.

[tsukishimas-shortcake]

Relationship Headcanons

↦ Character(s): Hakkai Shiba x fem!reader

↦ Rating/Warning: No rating though there are some light mentions of abuse (if you have read the manga you are aware of what I am talking about, I’m not going very deep into it though it literally just mentions it), mentions of anxiety attacks (no detail though), fluff, not proof read

↦ Word count: 1.8k (longer than planned, sections are bolded)

↦ Your Momo’s Receipt: Hello~ I’m post yet another TR headcanon and this was requested by the lovely @strawbub I hope this doesn’t disappoint, it did get longer than planned but I enjoyed writing it. I'll prob do a part two that's more of a scenario based on your first date or something since I didn't go into it here. Please note: for those of you who don’t know my blog is currently under construction, meaning I will not be updating my masterlist for the time being.

So how did you guys meet, well mostly because of Yuzuha,

One day in like elementary you’re walking home and you see this super pretty middle school girl just like yelling at this small group of guys

The guys end up running off just because they don’t wanna deal with her or the attention she's drawn to them

Behind her was a boy, taller than her but obviously younger. You didn’t assume they knew eachother though.

The boy and yuzuha began walking in opposite directions because one was going home while the other was going to pick up something like groceries

You’re so entranced by how she stood up to them yet she’s a girl who was far smaller and you end up catching up to her, almost stepping on her heels

You end up absent mindedly following her into the grocery store and eventually she just freezes, turns, and stare directly at you

Your eyes widen since you must’ve been staring and she just goes “may I ask why you’re following me?” And you explain how cool she was earlier. She invites you over for dinner (esp since her older brother won’t be home) and figured it’d be good for Hakkai to meet someone his age

You end up going over but Hakkai didn’t come down to eat so you never actually got to meet him, though from then on you would see Yuzuha every so often, visit every other weekend or so

But no matter how often you came over the next few months, you never once met hakkai,

That was until you both reached the end of your middle school education and we’re about to begin high school

You had gone over because you were going to borrow an old work book from Yuzuha, and when you go to knock on the door the door opens before your closed fist could hit it, instead hitting a firm chest

You blush and quickly apologize but the person in front of you doesn’t move at all, doesn’t say anything and almost looks like they drifted into space with their dead stare

You assume this is yuzuha’s older brother because you’ve also never met him and you immediately turn to walk away but Yuzuha calls over hakkai’s shoulder

“Y/N-Chan! You just got here where are you going?” This was def not yuzuha’s older brother. There’s no way she’d be that happy with him around; oh my god. Realization hit, the guy who you hit (though it was more of a tap) was hakkai.

The hakkai you had only caught a glimpse of in yuzuha’s photos, never talked to or actually seen in person despite going to the same school and living in the same neighborhood

He must hate you. That’s why he avoids you. That’s def why - is what you think

Yuzuha drags hakkai back inside and invites you in; you sit down with them in the living room and watch hakkai visibly relax now that he’s inside his house, his own space, with a pillow behind him and a blanket covering his lower half, he almost curls up into it as he continues to avoid your stare

“Hi hakkai…Kun? Im L/N Y/N” you say and you see his face dead pan once again

Yuzuha can be heard laughing from the kitchen as she comes back in.

She leans over and begins explaining that hakkai literally just freezes with any interaction between him and girls who aren’t in his family

You nod, thinking maybe it’s an anxiety thing? Which is the case with you, but only because he’s been watching you since you’ve come over (not in a creepy way) wanting to and working the courage up to talk to you

The 5th or so time you came over after that encounter he was inches away from introducing himself before the house phone rang causing everyone to kind of “wake up” in a sense

Every time since then he gets closer and closer but isn’t able to say anything; he even realizes he has a crush on you.

The way you sit when you do homework and how cute you look when you’re focused.

How your forehead scrunches up when you’re trying to figure something out and you end up just sitting back with a small huff followed by yuzuha’s signature laughter.

It’s also a huge thing that you get along with Yuzuha.

So enough with first meeting time for the confession.

He ends up confessing accidentally. He didn’t know you were coming over to begin with so he was flustered out of his mind. And how was he supposed to know you hadn’t actually fallen asleep and you could hear him over the tv

The tv was more white noise than anything and the day was hot since it was the middle of summer causing the window to be open and the sound of soft wind and small birds to drift in; this was the hot that makes you tired so you were all sprawled out of just sitting in a daze

So while resting your head on the table you’re dozing in and out but then you hear hakkai begin to speak, something he never really did around you

Now did you and hakkai text? Yes. Did it take him an hour to reply because his brain would explode when you replied to him? Yes. But was it a start to communication? Also a yes.

You hear him say your name quietly before he moved closer, you can feel his gaze on your features

“I like you” is all he says. Simple and sweet. But you sit there in shock, trying not to blush so he’ll have no idea you heard him but he can tell because your forehead scrunches

You heard him and are focused on if you should reply or not. And he knows that.

You open your eyes and just look up at him, he’s closer than expected. His hand close to yours on the floor and he reaches over and grabs it lightly. Hoping you’ll also return the gesture by holding his hand instead of leaving your hand limp inside his.

And you do, thank goodness, and Hakkai almost mentally can’t handle it.

Once you start dating it’s more so just hanging out at his house or yours; however he talks a bit more and you text a lot more. He’s gotten better at replying. It usually takes him like 15 minutes now

He’s kinda stressed about your relationship but not due to anything you or him did

He’s stressed because of the mentality his older brother gave him

Is he even allowed to be this happy?

He finally has someone thats small enough and naive enough that he can protect you; compared to constantly being protected it’s a sudden, strong, yet good change for him

He’s touch s t a r v e d

Yes Yuzuha shows affection; but he stopped accepting her hugs when he was around 8 just because he physically wasn’t able to handle it due to his bruises and such

But with you, even with his bruises and all you take care of him. Able to coax him into using medicines and toning down the physical violence (that he can control himself)

He also finds it super soothing when you lightly brush over his scars (especially those that his brother gave him), it helps him believe that scars are only physical and can fade with help

One thing that stresses him out the most is trying to hide you from his brother. Any time you leave something at the house its easy to pass it off as yuzuha's but when it comes to things like photos he has with you, he can't hang them up, show them off, or have them as his phone Lock Screen, etc. because he just really doesn't want his brother to know and target you since he'll then know that you're his weakness (aside from yuzuha as well)

Sometimes won't explain why he can't hang out and has legit pushed you out of his house before at the last minute notice of his brother coming home

Will always make sure you get home safe though, usually by having Yuzuha go with you since then she can just say you're a friend from school

Your parents love him, though they were a bit hesitant it became a "you always have a place to stay" because they learned about their family situation from you and yuzuha. So expect him to spend the night when he's too scared to deal with his brother. Same with yuzuha. (yes I know this isn't yuzuha head canons but its hard to write for him without mentioning her when they're so close)

We're talking three person sleep overs. Yuzuha and you of course share the bed and Hakkai takes some time to even set foot in your room much less sleep on a mattress that's on the floor

He has a small heart attack every time he comes into your room because he's overwhelmed with everything, he's never been so comfortable and it makes him feel restless. Like he's never and I mean n e v e r been less stressed and slept better than when he does so in your room

The smell, the colors, just being surrounded by you is something that completely changes his mood

Once showed up after he fought with his brother, tears in his eyes and clothes a bit tattered and you just pulled him to your room, and sat down with him.

You laid on your bed with him laying down onto of you, head on your chest as you rubbed his head and only said a few words "its not your fault"

He ends up crying so hard he falls asleep and gets dehydrated and you have to make him drink a bunch of water when he finally wakes up.

NSFW

super fucking careful w you

almost annoyingly so, but you're understanding

He knows that he might be taking things frustratingly slow but he knows that since you understand and know his history that you can help him get through it

Your first time you think you'll have to call it off because he's shaking so bad

"baby... are you sure it won't hurt you?" he keeps asking.

pretty sure that's the longest its ever taken him to finish because he was so anxious

despite being so slow and hesitant, late he isn't too scared to get a bit rougher

but im not talking anything crazy im talking like he's willing to pull your hair a bit or nip a bit harder at your neck.

Please never ask him to do anything like degrade you or some type of harsh physical rough shit, he can't

like literally im 99% sure that if you ask him to choke you or something he will pass out because of the anxiety attack he would have at even the thought.

in short with nsfw though he is sweet boy. He's a switch through and through. Loves when you take care of everything because then he doesn't have to be scared of hurting you.

[whatisgoingonpaul]

Looking at the deleted scenes

so my last post looking into a scene to hear what they said was a deleted scene and that honestly got me on a kick now about looking though them all. This one is mainly going to be just taking about them/details more then a what I heard post. So here we go.

1- fighting over rooms

This was in the script and the book but never made it into the film, Sam was in the room Michael wanted and they fought for it. So this scene is the context behind Sam bolting down the stairs “MOM PLEASE! Ma! You gotta help me!” “S o o n”

Sam’s got a serious comic collection, which he organises(I see the hulk but no Batman)

Sam mumbling the song he later sings in the tub!! (Ain’t got no home)

“oh no no no, this is MY room. You, spidey and richie rich and the rest of the boys are outta here.” Michael I love you.

“My way or the highway bud” Sam I love you

Michael: I’ll flip you for it *LITERALLY PICKS SAM UP AND FLIPS HIM UPSIDE DOWN*

Sam bites this man in the leg- Michael also notably mumbles ‘lil shit’ as his brother rushes away laughing

Y’all I am in LOVE they are literally just siblings

2- Kitchen that night

This was also script/book. I mean duh because it’s a deleted scene. Basically just talking after dinner

Lucy has two big pictures of her mother ‘hi mom’

Sam is trying to fix the stereo but it keeps popping also Sam wearing the bandana! Cutie lmao

The stereo starts playing lost in the shadows (also like how when Dwayne hits it, it plays good times)

Michaels “sammmmmmm”

Michael just “I dunno if I’m going back to school” he dead ass went ✨I wanna drop out✨

Sam swoops in and starts dancing with Lucy it’s to cute I’m gonna explode

Sam and Lucy dragging him in , Sam straight up head locking Mike and Lucy’s dance is gonna

3- extension of Michael following star

Honestly this should have stayed in. It gives star a bit more character and it also makes Michael slightly less creepy in his actions. THIS IS WHERE THE PHOTO OF LADDIE COMES FROM!

Star: are you following me?*laugh*

Michael, confidently: yea, I am

Star:

How star is laughing and smacking gum watching this dork

Laddie like :0 the whole time

The way she says “well, talk” In a half laugh

SAM ACTUALLY CUTS THEM OFF FROM THEIR CONVO WITH “moms here” that’s why she goes off

LADDIE NOTICING SAMS VAMPIRES EVERYWHERE COMIC!!

“She wants me , all of me” - Sam Emerson 1987

4- Michaels job

Self explanatory, honestly I think this scene should have been kept in for little more past actually establishing that the movie is longer then a few days. Really it’s more like a few weeks

The drunk dude laying on the beach left over from the night before

Hhhhhhhh shirtless Michael hhhhhh

SAM AND THE FUN TUBE I REMEMBER THIS FROM THE BOOK

This kid is trying to read a comic in the ocean

Sam gets splashed by the surf nazis

Michael gets tricked by hair lmao

5- video store that afternoon

Weird note but Maria is called Marie? However in all media she’s called Maria??

Marie gives her little backstory, how she owes max

Max is busy during the day you see

Lucy is such a sweetie “there’s my boys! :D” “my sons my sons”

Michael trying to give Lucy his left over Christmas money and all that 🥺

Sams “bye mike!”

6- talking again

Second night extended talks

They used to come spend summers in Santa Carla

M: where’s your little brother?

S: hes not my little brother

The audio cut out :(

7-

Grandpa asks Lucy about her boss “oh you know him?” “Oh I’ve seen him around”

GRANDPA WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

“Yea if i knew I was gonna live this long I woulda taken better care of myself”

8- morning

Sam watching the stuffed mountain lion

Nanook going after the rears of the stuffed hunting dogs- sir-

“Chill out Nanook”

Sam gets noosy and looks in on the Taxidermy and Grandpa chooses to gross him out lmao

“Nanook, this is my life , I come from a broken home. My mom works all day, my brother SLEEPS all day and my grandfathers possibly a alien who stuffs chipmunks” SAM I LOVE YOU

Sam sneaks a bit of grandpas weed

I’m going to sob I’m gonna sob it’s like a bit of the leaf! Sam baby never change

Grandpa walks in- Sam gets offended and tells him to stop with the Indian walk (this implies that he just straight up sneaks up on Sam non stop lmao I love him)

This blends into the “let’s go to town” scene

9- Michaels “morning after

The video I’m watching titled it this and I’m losing my shit so I’m keeping it. ALSO AGAIN THE MAGGOTS AND THE BRIDGE SCENE ARENT ON THE SAME NIGHT. THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN KEPT IN TO ESTABLISH THAT

Michael not being able to lift his weights

“I can’t remember to much, not after the Chinese food that looked like maggots” Sam slowly putting down his apple lmao

“Hey mike, you think grandpas a alien?”

Mike “mom and I didn’t wanna tell you two early” lmao

Nanook and Michaels salty feet. I still don’t get this part

“That was some pretty funky Chinese food”

MICHAEL IS NOT WEARING ANYTHING UNDER THE ROBE AND HE HAS FUCKING TIGHTY WHITIES

Mike just placing his full hand over sams face

10-

Went over this last night

Max having thorn sit shot gun

His baseball cap that’s it just his hat

11- max and Lucy date pre phone call

Again for  character development , like star. Like he doubles as a love interest and villain you think they’d leave the little parts with him in it in the movie

Max saying “I know what it’s like to be alone”

He says protecting mother in Latin(I think?) then English - NERD

“Lioness with her Cubs” she laughs THEYRE REALLY CUTE- STOP

“I think my mothering days are just about over” “well, they don’t have to be” SUBTLE

Max trying to show off with a fancy order shsisososososos

Max goes all out and spoils with the expensive order and Lucy is all !!! ☺️ no one touch me

They’re actually really cute and it makes me so mad they cut out moments like this for him and star? Because even with these they don’t get that much time but they get that much more character

13- Mike they’re here! Introductions

Should have been kept simply because there’s a huge gap

“This guy looks more like a zombie”

“Should I run him though?”

MICHAELS EYELINER

Mike is so sarcastic

“David! It’s David isn’t it?! He’s the leader! David ansisosososoos” mikes deflated “yea”

In conclusion these all should have stayed in the film and I am still upset over this. Also if there’s any more or any one that I missed: gimme

[delu-jean]

hi! so I just wanted to send in an Erwin x reader ask where basically Erwin survive shiganshina and they basically end up becoming parental figures for historia and guide her. thanks!

𝐄𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐚 (𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐚)

(Erwin x fem!/reader) -> Mentions of Historia! -> Fluff -> 1.6k 

Request: hi! so I just wanted to send in an Erwin x reader ask where basically Erwin survive shiganshina and they basically end up becoming parental figures for historia and guide her. thanks!

Notes: After the interaction the two had (somewhere in season three), I literally head cannoned him being her father! The chemistry between the two would be so sweet if they were!! The concept for this request was so adorable!! Thanks for the request, and enjoy! ^^

“We did it...we have the colossal now,” you’d say, knees shaking after all of the casualties. Erwin then caught you. Seeing how shocked you were, he tried to calm you down the best he could. 

“Yes Y/n...we did...but at a great cost.”

“Was it really one worth all of this trouble?” You said being unsure with such a loss. 

“Of course it was. For the sake of humanity.” 

“Right...for the sake of Humanity.” 

---

Many had died during the mission to Shiganshina. A lot of your comrades lost, along with your dearest friends. You mourned over such a thing, but ultimately, were glad for the ones who had survived. Levi, Hange, your dearest and most closest friends, still breathing as you spoke. And Erwin, your lover for gosh knows how long. Even after the stunt that was pulled, he still managed to survive. You were relieved that such a chaotic man...had escaped such a brutal mess. 

You were also glad that he saw what he had eagerly wanted to see. The basement that Eren had the key to. After hearing about some vague details from the commander, along with the other four who had entered, it gave you a mix of emotions. Both ecstatic to know there was more out there, yet terrified that such things were most likely forgein obstacles. Ones that would be hard to get rid of. 

Regardless, you were now heading back. Delivering both the books, along with yourselves, and whatever else you had left. At the entrance of wall Sina, there you see Historia waiting. She seemed ecstatic yet composed when greeting you all. And when seeing both you and Erwin, she seemed even more pleased. 

You see, even though Historia had her own birth parents, they never felt like her actual ones (based on the tragedies they caused). She’d been neglected...never feeling like she had someone to look up to. But when entering the Survey Corps, though it took a while to warm up to you, she ultimately did. It wasn’t that she couldn’t talk to you, rather, it took some time for her to see you as a mother figure. 

You were maybe 15 years older than her, but even that being the case, you saw her as your own. Though she wasn’t calling you “mom,” nor were you calling her “your daughter,” you both had the relationship. Labels weren’t needed to understand such a thing. 

Since she grew up without the affection of her mom, she took your affection very seriously. She was thankful to say the least. Thankful for the nights you would console her, give her advice, and hear her out. Though Ymir had done the same, the difference was that you spoke the words of a mother. Erwin had also come around to this concept, and tried getting to know Historia on a more personal level. 

He saw how attached you were to such an extraordinary girl. That being the case, he too wanted to experience the joy you two shared. You of course encouraged such a thing, and therefore, he did his best when getting to know her. It was a good practice for him since for most (if not all of ) his soldiers, he considered them pawns. So that being the case, you took this as an opportunity for him to think otherwise. 

Another reason as to why Erwin was doing this, was because of his own personal experience. Though he did have his father, he was (eventually) taken away from him at a young age. He didn’t want Historia to go astray like he did in his teenage years. So, he tried building a connection. Hoping his input could help her in the best way. 

Though it wasn’t as easy going compared to the both of you, he did his best, and she appreciated the effort put in. He’d usually have conversations with her about life. The most simple, yet complicated philosophy out there. Maybe he would even pop in his childhood memories, and theories he had. Truly making the most of their time. And she enjoyed their interactions. You adored how close the two were. Though one was more tense than the other, the affection was clearly there. Just seeing them together, made you wonder as to how Erwin would be with his own children. Possibly yours if we’re being specific. 

Erwin then approached the girl on his steed. Bowing to the queen to be, along with the rest of you. 

“Princess Historia, we made many discoveries during our mission. Ones that we can discuss privately whenever it is to your liking,” Erwin said, composed with a respectful tone. 

“Of course Commander. Before we do, I think you could all rest. It’ll be best if you do, after all...it seems as if you could use it,” she took note of the lack of numbers, but decided not to bring it up. 

“Of course,” Erwin agreed and everyone left. Well...except the both of you. Hirstoria then invited you both into the castle. The three of you sat in a room, the two of you on one couch, while she sat on the other. Face to face as she took a sip of tea. 

“Forget about formalities, I’m glad you’re both alive,” she smiled and you did the same. 

“I don’t think it’s appropriate if we do...after all, you will be the Queen soon.” 

“Nonsense. Even when that does happen, nothing will change between the three of us.” 

“I guess not,” Erwin chuckled as she sighed in relief. 

“Now that that’s over with, let’s discuss the details over your findings.” 

“Sounds good, Queen Historia.” 

“Oh stop it Y/n,” she pestered as you giggled. 

“So, Historia…”

Erwin then went on about their findings. How there was an entire civilization across from them, how you all were subjects of Ymir, about the nine titans, and whatever else they had left to say. He seemed stern during his conversation, not only that, but you could sound the passion which rang through his words. He looked somewhat relieved that he saw such an extraordinary finding. Not only was it one step closer to saving humanity, but one step closer to fulfilling both his wants, and needs. 

You didn’t know what you would have done if he hadn’t made it out alive. The guilt of him not being able to see such a sight, nor Historia...would’ve crushed you if anything. You know that the both of you would have missed him dearly...and if anything, she would have felt responsible for his death. Something that was never predicted, yet under the control of the Scout regiment. A power that she had ruled over. 

Though this thought lingered, it was one that had not come true. And hopefully, things would stay that way. He was here with you. Safe and sound. Maybe a little bruised but hey, handsome either way. You then put your head on his shoulder, caressing his thumb. Though he tried keeping composure, he eventually gave in. Relaxing his body while in the warmth of your touch. 

“I see, interesting…” she nod to then say:

“Erwin, Y/n, you know how much I love the both of you. Because of that...when I do become queen...please don’t let our dynamic change. I find comfort in it, and hope that we can continue to have the relations set.” 

To your surprise, Erwin spoke first. His eyes soft, and his speech gentle. Staring at the young girl before him, who was now becoming an adult. 

“Of course. If that is what the Queen allows, I’ll be sure to do my part. For both humanity, but importantly, you Historia,” you then placed your own cup down, accompanying Erwin: 

“I agree. Of course, our manners will have to prosper when needed...but if we’re alone, or even if we’re not, feel free to come to either of us. We’ll care for you no matter what, okay?” she teared up a bit and then walked to the both of you. You both stood up, and grasped her. The mood felt both joyful, yet teary. 

“I’m glad you both made it. Please be careful out there,” Erwin, though reluctant, then placed a hand (A/n: the only one-) on her head. 

“Don’t worry, you can count on us, your majesty.” 

‘Ah my little girl...so grown and mature,’ she tightened her grip on your torso, as your arms were still wrapped around her.

“Yes...don’t worry. You can most definitely count on us.” 

---

As time progressed Historia got crowned. That being the case, she had more responsibilities on hand. Constantly working her hardest to help her people. You were glad to see such a young person blossom into such a strong woman. Though she did most things on her own, you and Erwin guided her when possible. Even when it came to the little things like if her drapes should be red, or green. 

There would also be moments where it was just the three of you, or you two alone. Now that she was queen, her time was of value. So you tried to spend it in the wisest way possible. Talking about politics could wait, those were the times where you all could express things heart to heart. Being honest about how she felt, versus how things ran. Expressing her love for the people she rules, and even the deep thoughts that kept her up at night. 

Both Erwin and you did your best to guide her through these emotions. Wanting to teach her both politically, and most importantly, emotionally. Prepping her for the duties she would have as both Queen, and herself. Raising her to be the person she wanted to be, and supporting her to the utmost of your abilities. 

“I think I understand now, what we have to do against Marely. Though it is just one step, it’s one step closer to saving the people of Ymir.” 

“Yes, yes it is...Historia,” Erwin said as he held your hand. 

“It definitely is...Historia.” 

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

His Dark Materials - Season 2 Episode 7 *FINALE* (Thoughts and Rambles)

We have a LOT to unpack here oh my god oh my god

When I say I was screaming and yelling during the episode, I mean I was LITERALLY screaming and yelling

This post is mostly screeching and capital letters, you’ve been warned

“So cold” “life or death meant nothing” - well shit. Accurate description of a Spectre attack damn

I didn’t know what those creepy noises were at first and I was sat here absolutely TERRIFIED because it was creepy as fuck. Then I realized it was cliff ghasts because they said something that I recognized from the book and I was like “oh shit”

Pan and Will talking is the sweetest omg

The fact that Pan told him that Lyra thinks he’s as brave as King Iorek Byrnison :’)

“She’s the best friend I’ve ever had” “You’re her best friend too” - STOP, MY HEART

Lyra was awake and heard the whole conversation :3

“I’m no longer an aeronaut” :( “I’m an insect” - LMAO

Hester and Lee’s banter remains my favourite thing and now it’s bittersweet tbh...

“You could never be an insect, Lee” “Okay, hare” - bless them

Marisa finding where Lyra was staying and then finding Lyra’s coat?? And crying with it pressed to her face?? :’(

In case I haven’t mentioned it already, I am incredibly gay for the witches/their aesthetic/costume. Absolutely beautiful queens, all of them

Oh hi, it’s Mary and the two kids!

The fact that Mary helped them find their adults :’)

Also, “We like you miss” - BLESS

I’m kind of confused as to whether the blue flower petals are important or if it’s just her smelling them? IDK

“I’m close to my father, it’s time I found him” - OOF OKAY UMM ARE YOU SURE

“I let my best friend down” - Noooo Lyra, no you didn’t! :( Your dad is a terrible parent and killed him, that’s not your fault!

“Maybe this is how I let you down” - Well done, Asriel and Marisa, you’ve fucked up a perfectly fine child is what you’ve done

Will telling Lyra that she hasn’t let him down :3

That witch turning up because she was trying to warn Marisa about the spectres, only for Marisa to torture and kill her... oof

FUCKING MONKEY I CAN’T DECIDE HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM

“She’s MY daughter” - Okay, damn, lady...

“EVE. She’s the mother of all” - OH FUCK YOU TOLD HER. OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK

THE SPECTRE ATE HER DÆMON OMG NO THIS IS HORRIFYING WTAF

Seriously, the way the witch went so grey and lifeless and just fell to her knees and down... Urgh, my stomach is turning

Just when I thought I hated the monkey again, he starts whimpering because he’s afraid of the Spectres :(

“Stop whimpering” - DAMN MARISA YOU ARE A STONE COLD BITCH HUH

Pan being the damn voice of reason and telling Lyra they should stay with the witches like yes, Lyra, listen to him for once!!!

Okay but why are the Magisterium soldiers lowkey dressed like German soldiers from one of the World Wars???

I’m not really surprised that BBC left out the detail of Ruta and Asriel fucking when she found him to be honest XD

So the witches think that the Æsahættr is a person but it’s actually the KNIFE. AND THEY DON’T REALIZE. RUTA YOU DON’T NEED TO GO ANYWHERE, IT’S LITERALLY RIGHT THERE

“...That’s not my dæmon.” “Run.” - OH SHIT OKAY MY WHOLE BODY JUST TENSED UP

So umm Lee got shot and FUCK NO FUCK NO I’M NOT READY FOR THIS EMOTIONALLY THANKS

I LITERALLY DO NOT WANT THIS TO HAPPEN OKAY

“You’re either with me or against me” Umm he’s your dæmon?!?!

THE WAY SHE SCREAMED AT HIM OH MY GOD SHE’S FUCKING TERRIFYING HOLY CRAP

“What are you frightened of?” - oh, I don’t know, Marisa, maybe because YOU FUCKING SCREECHED AT HIM. MAYBE HE’S FRIGHTENED OF YOU

Also I love the detail of Marisa getting onto her hands and knees, sort of crouching and mirroring the monkey’s body language. I just love the parallel

The way the monkey flinched from her when she went to touch him omg :( No dæmon should be THIS afraid of their person (or at all?!?!)

Honestly, I find this series’ portrayal of Marisa fascinating tbh

“We have to do whatever it takes to keep her safe” - Umm, like maybe drugging her and hiding her in a cave for months? 🤔

Also in case I didn’t say this before, the fact she has complete control of the Spectres is fucking scary and always has been from the very first time I read the books

Okay so Lee is fully aware that he’s going to die if he stays behind but he does it because he knows that it’s the best chance of making sure that Lyra ends up under the knife’s protection (because Jopari will find her). All Lee wants is for Lyra to be safe and that hurts my heart so much, he loves this child so much :’(

“I love that little girl like a daughter” - LEE STOP MY HEART IS ALREADY BREAKING AS IT IS

NO NO NO NO I AM NOT AND NEVER WILL BE READY

Oh hey Red PAN-da (sorry I know I keep repeating that joke but honestly LOOK AT HIM)

“Once I change, you’ll stop changing” - OH SHIT. So we’re having THAT conversation then

“What do you think you’ll be?” “A flea I hope” - LMFAO I LOVE IT

“Is it Will that’s changing you?” “I think” - FORESHADOWING FOR AMBER SPYGLASS ANYONE?!

All the meanwhile, while Lee is dying and shit is going down, Ms Mary Malone is just chilling in a cave on a mountain by a waterfall, just reading

I literally struggled to watch Lee’s final scenes. I literally didn’t want to watch it because I cried reading it in the book, and I knew I’d be the same here

The fact that Lee HATES taking away people’s lives but he says “it’s theirs or Lyra’s”... I love him. He loves her so much.

“Think about anything, think about bacon!” - LMFAO I LOVE YOU HESTER YOU ABSOLUTE GEM

THE BULLET CLIPPED HIS SCALP AND I HAD A HEART ATTACK 

“This is my fault, isn’t it?” - NO HESTER NO DON’T YOU DARE BLAME YOURSELF DARLIN’, YOU ARE THE BEST AND WE LOVE YOU AND LEE LOVES YOU

I do this everytime I read the book and I did here even though I know what happens, but I was praying mentally that maybe Serafina would reach Lee in time... just maybe...

I’m really sitting here crying over Hester and Lee on a Sunday night, love that for me

Hester limping :(

“Don’t you go before I do” - FUCK YOU BBC AND PHILIP I’M SOBBING MY EYES OUT

“Oh how far we flew” - STOP IT. STOP IT RIGHT FUCKING NOW I SWEAR-

I literally yelled and cried out “NOOO” when Hester faded away and Lee died. I am so upset even though I KNEW it was coming. I am literally not okay.

Oh god no Will, now is not the time to be walking away from Lyra and that witch 

Also why is that witch asleep on guard?? Come on, love, do better, it’s not like these are the two most important children in all the universes.... 

To be fair to Marisa, I’d feel pretty invincible if I were climbing up a mountain while the Spectres were guarding me/on my side

WILL AND JOHN FINALLY MET AHHHH

“I was told I’d find my father here”  - YEAH AND THAT’S HIM WILL ASDFGHJKL;

I’m low-key disappointed that there’s no brawl between Will and Jopari here. Like they instantly recognize each other and... hmm. I know there has to be changes but still.

“Your mother, Will, where is she?” - Awww. John really didn’t stop loving her :’)

“My son... is the Knife Bearer” - oooooohhhhhhh

“You have a dæmon” - that’s right, Will. Don’t worry, you’ll get one next season

The way I audible went “oh shIT” when Mrs Coulter found Lyra fast asleep. Like I said, I knew what was going to happen but STILL

I’m not really surprised that those Spectres killed the witch who was supposed to be guarding Lyra and Will tbh like that’s what happens when only ONE witch guards two teenagers and that witch falls asleep

The way that Lyra panicked when she woke up and saw her mother stroking her cheek omg 

Off topic but I’ve only just realized that Jopari has a fucking man-bun LMFAO OKAY

The fact that Jopari tried to get back to Will and Elaine but couldn’t will always hurt me

“And you chose these people over your family?” - I MEAN-

“I’ve thought about you every day.” - Awww

So John tells Will that he has to go to Asriel and bring him the knife, and he tells him all about the war that’s coming and I have LITERAL chills because I’m so ready

“And then we go home?” “... And then we go home.” - RIP MY HEART OUT, IT WOULD HURT LESS

“I’m not strong enough” - yes you are, Will! I promise you, you are! And Jopari says, “Both of us were brought here” - exactly! You were brought there for a reason by fate or whatever you want to call it!

“Your duty was to be my father” - WILL REALLY CAME FOR HIS DAD LIKE THAT I GUESS

“Look what you’ve become without me” - Oh my god, just when I thought I wasn’t going to cry again

JOPARI HUGGING WILL, SEEING THE SOLDIER AIMING, AND THEN PUTTING HIMSELF BETWEEN THEM SO HE TOOK THE BULLET INSTEAD OF WILL ASDFGHJKL;

So in the book, Jopari is killed by a scorned witch who had once asked him to be her lover, but he had turned her down (because of Elaine and Will obviously), and she kills Jopari in front of Will and then he kills her (I think?). But here it’s just a soldier leftover from the Lee vs Magisterium fight, so... yeah. Kind of a little peeved about the change personally but whatever I guess.

“The night is full of angels, they will guide you now” - AHHHHH

Also, might just be me, but maybe that line would have been slightly more impactful if the scene had taken place at night

This show really said “fuck healthy parental figures” I guess

Except Will’s mum, she’s the best and if anything were to happen to her we’d all riot

SAYAN KÖTÖR FADING AWAY NOOOO I HATE SEEING DÆMONS DIE

Okay, last little gripe, but I just wanted to say that in the book, Will doesn’t realize it’s his dad until literally the last second before his dad dies - like they both realize and then BAM, Jopari is killed. And while I do love the father-son reunion, I am kind of annoyed by the change because it was such a huge punch in the gut in the book that Will searches for so long for his dad, only to lose him the second he finds him.

Serafina finding Lee’s body and kissing his forehead was yet another punch in the gut, thanks Pullman/BBC/BadWolf

The fact that Will had to bury his dad :(

Also, WILL WEARING JOPARI’S JACKET OH MY GOD MY HEART

Oof that shot of his amputated fingers...

So the narration, when it started I thought it was Jopari at first, like from one of his letters... but then as it continued, I went “hang on”, and then I said outloud “wait, is that ASRIEL?!”

DID MARISA REALLY PUT LYRA IN A FUCKING TRUNK?!? BITCH ARE YOU OKAY?!?

Will putting his hood up like his dad did just hits differently

Okay so um ASRIEL HI I WASN’T EXPECTING TO SEE YOU THIS SEASON OH MY GOD THE SCREAM I LET OUT

HIS MONOLOGUE BY THE WAY IS FUCKING ART AND A MASTERPIECE BUT I WAS TOO BUSY CRYING OVER JAMES MCAVOY TO WRITE THE WHOLE MONOLOGUE DOWN

Oh, hi Stelmaria!

It always makes me scream that this man is not only Lord Asriel now but he’s also fucking Mr Tumnus and MOTHERFUCKING BILL DENBROUGH LIKE HOW IS THIS MAN INVOLVED IN SO MANY OF MY FANDOMS?!?

ANGELS ANGELS OH MY FUCKING GOD-

“We stand with you, Asriel Belacqua” - AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

“Let us prepare for war” - FUUUUUUUUCK

(I was deadly serious when I said this was just me screaming and crying by the way)

I’m still reeling over the fact that Marisa put her daughter in a fucking trunk. Like I get you can’t exactly carry a drugged child about in the open but Jesus Christ, love, really?!?

Also Ruth Wilson / Marisa Coulter in a headscarf? *chef kiss*

The way that the screen went to black as she put the lid on the trunk down - SHIT OH SHIT GOOSEBUMPS

THE CREDIT SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE IT HAS FUCKING ANGELS NOW I’M-

I WASN’T EXPECTING THE POST CREDITS SCENE OH MY GOD

ROGER?! ROGER! IT’S ROGER I’M NOT OKAY-

BBC YOU CANNOT JUST DROP THAT ON US LIKE THAT FUCK-

“What is this place?” - I’M SCREAMING SO LOUD I CAN’T HOLD IT IN

For anyone unaware, the reason I’m screaming so loud over the post-credits scene is because in TAS, while Lyra is drugged and in a groggy sleep, she has these visions of Roger talking to her from the Land of the Dead, which then later leads to her and Will actually GOING to the Land of the Dead and... well, the rest is even HUGER spoilers but YEAH I’M NOT OKAY.

Honestly, I’m just so happy and emotional because I’ve been waiting over a decade for a decent adaptation of not only NL but for TSK and TAS too, and we’re 2/3 there now. Just one more book/series to go... I wish we could have it now. I really hope that filming for the final one starts ASAP because if we have to wait two years just to see the conclusion to this series, I might cry.

This series is so amazing, and this season especially has been so incredible to watch. It’s been the highlight of my week for seven weeks, and I have no idea what I’ll do with my Sundays now that it’s over. I’ve asked for the DVD for S2 for my birthday already (since it comes out 29th December and my birthday is 13th January... just saying), and words can’t describe how much I do love this series. I know it sounds hollow since I say it about so many things I’m into, but this was such a huge part of my childhood and it’s one of my favourite fantasy series of all time. It’s truly one of the most incredible pieces of literature and now it’s making for incredible television... I love it so much.

[juminly]

As The Rush Comes (Ikémen Vampire Theodorus Van Gogh x Reader)

Summary: You are at a nightclub with your friend Theodorus Van Gogh. The problem is, you want to be more than friends. Does he feel the same? Hell yes. Change is bound to happen. And it does. This one-shot was inspired by the song As the Rush Comes.   Read all 3 parts on AO3. Rating: Mature (explicit/coarse language, detailed mention of sexual acts) 

Tags: Modern AU, mutual pining, sexual tension/frustration, jealousy, dirty dancing. 

Warning: mention of the reader not remembering the events of a past night of heavy drinking and partying.  Word Count: 3500 approx. 

Club Music Playlist *Kiss you by Nadia Ali **Down to Love (Kyau & Albert Remix) by Armin Van Buuren feat. Ana Criado

***Still I Wait (Richard Durand’s In Search of Sunrise Remix) by Jonas Steur feat. Jennifer Rene. 

Song lyrics are in bold; look at this asterisks to know which song is playing in the background and play the song as you read -------------------------- *I'd wake up, and make love to you if I had you, I would touch you so much, but I'm not allowed to… Nadia Ali, bless her heart, was only adding salt to your wounds. You were already feeling salty enough for feeling the way you did and she didn’t make it any better. Why were you salty? While the song went on and on about how the vocalist just needed to wait for the perfect moment to kiss the one she wanted to show love to, you were here lamenting pathetically over Theodorus Van Gogh, the man that occupied your every waking thought and dream… and most recent fantasies.

The music was thrumming loudly in your ears, the discographies selected by this particular local DJ was always to your liking. The rhythmic beat of trance sending the club-goers into an ephemeral state of rapture as the dancefloor flocked with writhing bodies, the scent of alcohol, sweat and sex heady in the air. Were people living in some sort of state of drought? The thirst was real… and so palpable. You were not one to judge, you felt it too.

Thud… Thud… Thud… Was that the music or your pulse? You couldn’t tell anymore.

Would you pretend, we're only friends, if I kissed you, At least I can dream of you in a scene, when I'd kiss you.

You’ve dreamed of so many scenes, in so many different locations and in all of them, you were in the most compromising situations and positions. Holy fuck, just thinking about how those icy blue eyes staring into you while he lazily ran his tongue over his swollen lips, the ones you wanted to kiss and bite so damn much, that chiseled body of his positioned between your… No.. No… You told yourself you wouldn’t go there but your mind couldn’t help but wander.  The song had just been coaxing you to act on your impulses and you covered your ears, just to keep Nadia from tempting you more than you already were.

How many months has it been since the incident?

The office hottie, Arthur Conan Doyle, had thrown an extravagant birthday bash in his so-called crib, and to your own surprise, the man had exquisite taste and the entire thing was planned immaculately. Who had been his wingman during the entire process? The hot mister that was your companion at the club for the night. That was how, when and where you met him, much to your dismay.

You heard that things had gotten hot and heavy between you during that birthday party and you were literally flung over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and carried into Arthur’s bedroom. Things had gotten that heated… However, big emphasis on the word “heard” cause you unfortunately don’t remember jackshit from that fateful night and cursed yourself all the time for this.

His hands roughly groping you and his lips fiercely crashing down on yours… The things that could’ve happened… The things you could’ve done… You could ONLY imagine. Imagine, yes. Remember, no. The heavens indisputably had some mocking plot to make you miserable. Miserable? You definitely were. After that night, you were thrown into the friendzone. With a capital F.

Pining after a man that wouldn’t lay a finger on you unless it was to ruffle your hair like some puppy. You almost got your chance at some type of romance in your uneventful life… Still, things only got interesting when that asshole suddenly showed up, but it wasn’t like you were actually willing to admit that to him. You’d rather swallow his… Brain and heart, focus. Libido and hormones, get the fuck away. He wants me… He wants me not… I want everything he’s got.

Shut it, Nadia. You were already drowning in heaps of doubt and you’ve clearly… clearly had enough of her feeding you more fantasies and unlawful and excessively unadulterated thoughts and you were doubting yourself already. And what you decided to do? Drink yourself into oblivion, accompanied by the vexing perpetrator who had just gotten back from the men’s room. It was admiration and pining time for you. As he slowly approached you with long and sure strides, Theodorus was, is and will always be probably the most gorgeous, handsome piece of eye-candy that you’ve ever laid your eyes on and you were 99.99% sure that this statement was your true and unbiased opinion.

Beige dress pants hugged the length of those legs that carried him, giving you the chance to drool over the definition of his stature that you could see thanks to the tightness of the fabric, emphasizing a bit too much for your liking on his… No, don’t go there. Heat flooded your reddened cheeks as your thoughts scrambled wildly in your mind as he found his seat next to you. That’s always where you found yourselves. Together. Always. You get along so well. It’s bound to be this way, right? The string of fate and the butterflies of time managed to find a way to bring you together. While your internal ruminations besieged your mind, a rich baritone touched your ears, unmistakably his. “We probably should leave soon. I don’t want to suffocate in this clothed orgy.” You shot him an inquisitive look, silently asking him to elaborate on his point. “You look like you’re about to melt in that pretty little dress of yours, Hondje. I’d rather hop to any pub or have a drink at that klootzak’s place and deal with his moaning than this. At least his place isn’t as filthy as this hellish kennel.”

“You talk like an old man, Theo. Why don’t we just try to live a little?” He simply gave you a glare, a response that you knew very well. He wasn’t going to waste his breath on such mundane frivolities. It seemed that you would have to take the drinking party elsewhere. Clubs were clearly not Theo’s favourite destination.

You couldn’t help but giggle at this man’s dog analogies. As much as they pissed the shit out of you… Wait. Rewind. Did he just compliment what you were wearing...? He noticed?

For the first time in a while, you decided to try “letting loose” and go for something different. You would usually go for something, more like, anything black but today was different. In celebration of whatever weird feeling and eccentricity that came over you, you decided to go for a skimpy off-the-shoulder purple dress that kissed every curve of your luscious form, barely reaching the top of your mid-thigh and pushed your bosom in a way that accentuated your cleavage. You felt hot and you wanted to feel hot too.

**It's down to love tonight, This is where we are, As we turn into the light, Let’s make it last...

On any other day, Down to Love would’ve been one of your favourite songs to listen to but definitely not today. You were clearly not down to any kind of love. This is not where you wanted to be and you didn’t want this to last. You growled under your breath, enough to have Theodorus, the man of the hour… no, he was the man of your every-fucking-day and your every-goddamn-dream and fantasy, tilt his head to the side to cast a judging gaze at you, raising an arched eyebrow with a silent what-the-fuck is wrong with you.

There was so much that was wrong with you and he was the cause of it all. The prime suspect. The only one, this maddeningly handsome asshole.

Lips slick with moisture, your eyes lingered a little too long on the inviting gleam before you attempted to relax in your seat, while Theo remained hunched apathetically over the bar counter, nursing his drink thoughtlessly. Both of you were so accustomed to whatever it was that you were doing, you fell into a pattern that soon began to feel more like a ritual. You couldn’t even remember how you became his drinking buddy but there was something that Arthur said once… Both of you were not the type to party hard so it made it hard for him to have fun with the both of you, even though Theo and him spent an obscene amount of time together. You were kindred spirits. That was a fact.

Being around him made it hard to breathe. You noticed that not only the first button of his shirt was open, but now, the second one was too, giving you a good look of impeccably sculpted pectorals, his skin shining under the epilepsy-inducing lights of the nightclub while drops of sweats meandered down to places unknown, unexplored… and desired. With one arm propped on the counter and leaning his full weight to one side, his form was completely angled towards you and his eyes roamed appraisingly over your provocative dress and your overall physique. You knew that look, you’ve seen it before. It was the same way he scrutinized and examined art.

His gaze was now posed on your thighs, your dress hiked up even more on your silky skin as you crossed and uncrossed your legs restlessly. “Looking at something, big guy? My eyes are up here. You’ve been checking me out since we got here.” you quipped with a smirk. “Hm?” he hummed, as if you had ripped him away from the depth of his thoughts. You could see a faint blush on the top of his cheekbones… It was clearly only a sign of inebriation. Right? “Oh, I was just wondering who you’re trying to seduce.” he replied blankly before continuing. “You wouldn’t need to dress up like this to impress me.” His tongue swiped over his lower lip, wettening it before throwing his head back, draining his glass of whiskey and turning his body away, leaving you perplexed by his words.  What… What exactly did he mean by that? Shaking your thoughts away, you had enough wine in your system to finally get the words spilling from your lips. “Theo… Wanna dance?” Those three words prickled his ear drums and he turned to look at you with a judging smirk. “Is it playtime, Hondje?” You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms at his expected remark, climbing off your bar stool and tapping your heeled foot on the black tile beneath you. Looking at him expectantly, your heart clenched, momentarily regretting your decision to build up the courage to take the first step. He was bound to embarass you somehow.

“I’m sure you can find lots of other pups and mutts to play with in that disgusting pile of bodies.” An affronted expression washed over his handsome face and you resisted the need to slap his smugness away. You began to tremble slightly and snapped at him “You suck, Theo!”. His reaction made you freeze for a second. His eyes were taking you in, gliding over your body from head to toe before locking with yours. “Would you like to take me for a test drive? Are you in heat, Hondje?” he practically purred.

“Fuck you, Theo.” Was he capable of doing anything but frustrate (and arouse) you? You could feel an intense heat building inside of you, your heart beating angrily in your chest as you seethed from his response. You blinked, completely outraged and offended as he dared to freaking chuckle at your contained outburst.

“You wish. Now, can you go bark at someone else and let me enjoy my bloody drink?” Not wanting to give him more of your precious time, you actually flipped him the bird this time, scowling at him in disbelief, all that wine in your blood giving way for your tongue to sharpen as the night went on. “Do you always have to be such an ass?”

The ear-splitting grin on Theo’s face suddenly transformed into a smirk… and a scowl? when a young man behind you asked you to dance. You couldn’t really register what the guy was saying. Something along the lines of “ I don’t know if he’s just stupid or blind” and honestly, you kind of agreed with him. As much as Theodorus Van Gogh was a genius at what he did, he was stupid for not giving in to you. You were ready to give him… your everything. You were in deep shit, being so in love with a man who would possibly not return your affections? He looked like the incarnation of heartbreak and didn’t that just make you giddy? Being around him almost made you… sarchotic.

Sarchotic or not. Now you had his full attention.

Those ocean blue eyes were trained on you, an unfamiliar predatorial aura reverberating from him, still seeping through Theodorus’ attempt to enshroud it with the negligible quirk of those lips, that half-smile that you knew too well. If he wanted a show, he’s gonna be getting one. Not that you really cared whether he enjoyed it or not, but the least you could do is actually enjoy the company of the… You looked at your newly appointed dance partner, who had just lead you to the dancefloor, to evaluate him.

Okay, he wasn’t too bad: a bit shorter and less muscular than Theo but his hair were waves of chocolate brown that were simply asking to be threaded through and pulled. You beamed at your partner, feeling a rush of adrenaline course through your blood, knowing that the handsome Dutch man had his eyes on you and you were going to put a damn show. Wait, it wasn’t a show. You were doing this for you. You didn’t give a fuck and just wanted to have some fun. Looking at the cutie in front of you, you raised your arms in the air and jumped to the beat of the music, body-rolling as you let the sinful rhythm of your racing thoughts lead your every movement. ***I wanted it, I needed it, I love the way your skin felt upon my skin, And I thought you felt the same but you threw me away, Threw me away and still

The man in front of you was definitely getting into the groove, slowly inching close to you and you were more than ready to welcome him. Your hands that were in the air were now resting on his shoulders, your fingers finding the inviting chocolate strands of his hair. His hands were on both sides of your hips, claiming control over the frantic sway of your hips, matching the booming tempo that filled the room. You licked your lips and bit them, feeling your heart race as you snuck a quick look at the bar counter, the expression on Theodorus’ face was absolutely feral… and bloodthirsty.

Good thing you had bitten your lips because you were about to let out an obscene moan as he looked like he was ready to slam you into a wall and fuck you senseless, growling in your ear: You’re already so wet for me, Hondje, so ready for me to slide inside you…. You’ve been teasing me all damn night and when I stuff you with my cock, make you mine… You’ll be screaming my name. A looming presence was suddenly behind you, a hand gripping your hip and forcefully pulling you away from the “cutie”. You had absolutely no idea what happened, when it happened and how it happened. You could’ve sworn that you heard something along the lines of “She’s mine” but it was most probably your brain playing tricks on you. Or not.

“Are you trying to play games with me, Knabbeltje?” His heavy hand on your hip clenched tightly, his fingertips digging in your soft flesh while you drank in the rumble of his voice in your ear, velvety smooth yet deep enough to shake you to the bone, capable of making your knees buckle in weakness. You fought the temptation to rub your legs together and continued the lascivious sway of your hips from side to side in a rhythm that was your own and one that Theodorus would come to learn. Cutie, who? Theodorus was the only person you knew. All your senses acutely aware of him and he made sure of that. Only a breath of air seperated your bodies yet, he was so close but still felt so far before he yanked your back brusquely, your back hitting the vast plain of his chest and the softness of your derriere grazing his crotch. You closed your eyes and hummed with a nonchalant tone, your back arching as you reached your arms behind you, gripping Theo by his nape and threading your digits leisurely through his chestnut locks.

“You really want to know, hm?” You crooned and he tensed briefly but soon relaxed behind you, one hand caressing the curve of your hips, his hold on you was firm and steady, making you feel the heat radiating from his body and enveloping you with the scent of his cologne mixed with whiskey, intoxicating you even more than the wine you drank.

One of his large hands snakes up the curve of your waist, lightly grazing the side of your soft mound and trailing up your neck and resting there. He rolled his hips against yours, your body following his every moment as he dictated your every single motion. The warmth of his breath tickled your ear as he crooned sultrily in your ear. “I could eat you all up, Knabbeltje… right fucking now.” I don't wanna feel rejection, don't wanna have no regrets… Is this a good decision or will you look for someone else? Leave me all by myself...

“Is that so?” you could hear your own smile in your voice and could hear an inherent raspiness in it too. Your thoughts swiveled with yearning and your judgement was clouded by your love for this man… and your inebriation. Your mutual ministrations continued as he grinded his hips at an excruciating pace, drawing out the torture that you were both suffering from. His long fingers were now teasing the column of your neck, careening over your sensitive skin and sending shivers up and down your spine. Slowly, he wrapped his hand on your neck, pressing only lightly and bit the tip of your earlobe before sucking on it, letting his tongue glide over its seams. “I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t true. You want me to repeat myself?”

“I didn’t say any such thing, Theodorus.” You dared to use his full name, intentionally triggering him. His grip tightened on your neck and warm breath caressing your ear. “I’m not all bark like you.” He truly thought that you were all bark but you were prepared and intended to do lots of biting, now that he was so near. You tightened your grip on his strands, making him groan in response. “I hate that you make me feel this way.” you breathed out slowly, trying to ignore the tightening of anticipation rousing in your chest. “Enlighten me… What kind of way do I make you feel, hm?” It was now his turn to tease you. “You know how I feel about you…” you pouted, grudgingly taking a sharp inhale before you carried on with this morphed, semblance of a confession. “You keep… you keep messing with my head, Theo.”

“You’re doing much worse to me, mijn liefste.” Oh God, you didn’t know what he said but you were positive that it was not some dog related insult and your heart drummed even harder in your chest. Why did this man have so much control over you? His voice was like whiskey and chocolate, dark, decadent and  heavy with yearning, a blazing fire in your core, an excited tremor coursed through your veins like lightning, but not once did you rush the wicked to and fro of your hips, brushing your softness against the harsh ropes of sinew that made him the Adonis that he was.

Your cheeks were rosy as the pink dusk that painted clear skies and he saw that as you twisted your chest to look back and up at him. His fierce stare reflected in your glimmering eyes, your pupils dilating clearly, making them appear almost darkened in their shade. It would be blasphemous to say that Theodorus was anything but completely mesmerizing. “Don’t give me those eyes, Knabbeltje... or I promise I’ll take you here and now.”

I love to see you smile, I love, my love… As much as the thought had you reeling, you wanted the awaited spectacle to be a private one. Gazing straight in his almost glowing orbs of sapphire, he had the look of a man who was born ready to ravage you and rearrange your insides. Leaning down, he drawled against your lips with a huskiness that sent you into a frazzled state of need.

“When I fuck you, I’m going to make sure you always remember it. The only thing that’s gonna spill from those pretty lips is my name.”

------------ Read Part II  HERE.  Tagging le Theo simp squad + those who have been so kind to send me their ideas on what the “dirty dancing scenario” should be like: @delicateikemenmemes @sweetlittlemouse @nad-zeta @nafeary @raymiazaki @munarisblog @karmaaf​ (sorry if I forgot anyone else)  Hope you enjoyed this 💜 Please feel free to leave comments/feedback! Masterlist

[jpegjade]

I’m not a cynic - Spencer

so i finally finished this one. it was supposed to just be a song blurb but i got a longer idea for it and ended up writing it over a period of a few days. so yeah! here’s the song it’s based on: 

i’m not a cynic - Alec Benjamin

warnings: none just angsty fluff. (not really angst, just upset spencer for a sec)

__________________

“Oh my god.” Spencer groaned, dropping his keys on the floor of the hallway.

Spencer Reid was having a bad day. It started when he woke up on the wrong side of the floor, literally. He turned over one too many times and fell out of bed, directly onto the floor. You had left to go to work early so he had no body compass in relation to where you were in the bed. He wasn’t used to you leaving early so this threw him off quite a bit. 

Despite being abruptly woken up on time, he was late to work. The 10 am briefing hadn’t started when he got to the office but he was too late for coffee. There was no time to make more so he was grumpy in the briefing, hardly saying a word. 

Spencer had a ton of case files to look over, in addition to their current case, so he already felt overwhelmed. Morgan wouldn’t stop talking about how quiet he was and when Spencer snapped at him, Hotch gave him a stern talking to about his attitude over the past few days. The result was pairing Reid with Garcia, meaning he didn’t go into the field. He didn’t mind working with Garcia but he wanted to be out with the rest of the team. He always felt like he was missing out when he wasn’t there with everyone else. He felt like that for most of his life, he didn’t want to feel like he was missing out at his job too. 

Spencer pushed the door to the apartment open and found you dancing in the living room with your headphones in. 

“Hey love!” You said, loudly. 

You took out one headphone to hear Spencer but he didn’t look at you. He was looking down at his Converse as he unlaced them. Pulling off his satchel, he put it on the table and walked past you without saying anything, sitting on the couch. He put his hands in his hair and let out a deep sigh he had been holding in for a while. 

You could tell by the way his shoulders slumped and the curve of his back that something was wrong. When Spencer got quiet, something was always wrong. And when he didn’t immediately smile at you when he got home, it had been a hard day. A hard day and something bothering him meant you probably should start running a bath and the two of you could just talk it out. 

Turning down your music, you began running the bath water so it could warm up as it filled the tub. From there, you grabbed your matching comfy robes and his favorite face masks, laying everything out with your matching pajamas. You weren’t going to shower until after dinner but you figured that you could change your schedule a little bit tonight. 

Turning off the water, you walked back into the living room to find Spencer with his hands still propping up his head. He was muttering something but you couldn’t hear it. You gently sat down next to him and softly called his name. 

“Spencer?” It was barely audible but he heard it. 

“What?” He snapped. 

“Do you want to take a bath with me?” You said, trying not to be defensive. 

“No.” He said, shaking his head. 

“Oh, well. I ran the water if you change your mind.” You said, leaning back on your heels. He wasn’t normally like this. Usually, he was more reserved and stoic when he was thinking but now he seemed… Angry.

“I didn’t ask for you to run the water.” Spencer let out a large sigh of frustration. He had been building up all of this energy all day and he couldn’t take holding it in anymore. 

“I know you didn’t ask but you always want a warm bath and to relax when you have a bad day.” You said, trying to keep your own frustration with him at bay. 

“Does anyone ever think that they don't really know me or what I’m going through?” Spencer snapped. 

You paused for a moment, unsure what to really say so you just let him continue. 

“I’m not a cynic but it’s beyond not my day. This isn't my life. And it’s hard to process that no one even seems to acknowledge that I’m struggling.” Spencer said. “You all seem to think that just because I’m smart, life just goes my way. Well, newsflash, it doesn't. I can’t fix anything by being smart. I can’t fix anything by being smart and none of you get that.” 

You watched in shock as Spencer looked up at you with tears rolling down his face. It wasn’t often that Spencer snapped at you. It always had the initial stinging effect that he intended but not too long after he snapped, he always softened up because you weren’t trying to hurt him and he knew that. It was just the stress from the day getting to him. The stress from everything was getting to him. 

“Come on.” You said, holding out your hand. 

Spencer took it and you led him to the bathroom with the now warm bathwater. Spencer got undressed while you mixed more hot water and a bath bomb in the water. Once Spencer got in, you got the shampoo out of the cabinet and sat on the edge while he got comfortable in the colorful bath water and bubbles. 

“Is this okay?” You said, massaging his shoulders. He was a bit tense to the touch but he slowly loosened up the more you worked on his shoulders. 

“Yeah.” He said, nodding. “I’m sorry I snapped.”

“I forgive you. Was it a hard day?” You asked, trying to open the door for a more gentle conversation. 

“Yeah…” Spencer began detailing his day to you, piece by piece. Every frustration, every nuance, everything that made him pent up and slowly, his shoulders started to lose tension. You could feel it under your hands. 

“Have you talked to your mom today?” You asked, knowing that seemed to cheer him up. 

Instead of the reaction you hoped for, his shoulders completely slumped. You heard a couple water drops hit the bath water before Spencer’s body started shaking. 

“Y/n, she forgot who I was for half of the call.” Spencer sounded so broken. 

You rubbed his back as he cried. It was a wonder how he held that in for so long today, that pain. You didn’t say anything as a tear rolled down your cheek. Seeing him in pain always managed to hurt you more than anything else. A few more sobs and some sniffles later, Spencer was calm again. You got out the shampoo and started washing his hair in silence. You wanted to give him room to express himself in any way he felt was helpful so you figured being silent was the best thing. 

Spencer closed his eyes as your hands worked through his hair. It was one thing for him to wash it. It was another for your magical fingers to move through it. You just had a calming effect he didn’t have on his own. But that could be said about most things. You were his better half, his support system. He was a different person with you and you both knew it. He was a better person with you in his life. 

“Do you know why I married you, Spencer?” You asked, washing the shampoo out of his hair. 

“Was it for my stunning good looks?” Spencer sadly chuckled. 

“Yes. But also for your heart. Mainly for your heart. You’re smarter than I’ll ever be. You’re more beautiful than an angel. But your heart is made of gold and that’s why I fell in love with you.” You started the conditioner, the true secret to his silky soft hair. 

“Is this supposed to make me feel better?” Spencer chuckled again. 

“Wait, you potato brain.” You said, smiling. It was nice to hear him chuckle. “Your mom raised you with a pure heart. A heart so pure and a brain so intricate that no one will understand. Baby, no one will ever understand you. I married you and I don’t understand you. But you can’t hold that against us because we’re trying our best.” 

“I know…” Spencer sighed. 

“But at the same time, you have a right to be frustrated because you can’t help or fix the person that matters to you most. It’s hard to lose someone to something so misunderstood right now and incurable. It’s hard to watch that transition. I know. But you’re not alone, okay? It hurts me that Diana is going through this but you have to trust that she’s getting the best care to make her life easier and so are you.” You said, washing out the conditioner. 

“So if you need to cry,” you continued, grabbing him a big towel for his hair. “Then you go ahead and cry. If you need to throw things, I’ve got starburst you can fling at the wall. If you need a hug or a cuddle, you married an amazing cuddler, if I do say so myself. But please don't hold it in and blow up on me, okay?” You said, drying his hair before wrapping it.

“I think I’ll take you up on that cuddle and a good cry.” Spencer said. 

“Okay, Mr. Reid, I will see you in the bedroom, then.” You repositioned to stand up but Spencer gently grabbed your hand. 

“Can we stay here a little longer? There’s something soothing about the water.” He said, looking up at you with those big puppy eyes. 

“Sure, Spence. Whatever makes you happiest.” You smiled, sitting back down on your little bathroom stool. 

“You make me happiest, y/n.” Spencer smiled. 

[scribble-games]

Scenario ask regarding everyone’s favorite evil spy! F! Angel and 180 run into each other on assignment at a fancy ball and end up dancing. what can I say, I love me my tropes.

This got way longer than it was supposed to be, and also I was having trouble ending it so it does end a bit abruptly. But I hope you like it!

---

The music changes, and an irresistible idea comes to your mind. "Care to dance?" You stretch out your hand - an invitation, a challenge.

She takes it. You knew she would.

---

Music drifts across the driveway from the open double doors. Behind you, a valet drives away with your car, leaving you to make your way towards the house. You have to hold your skirts up, picking your way daintly across the gravel. The dress is huge, and the panniers took some time to get used to moving in them, but they have their advantages. You feel like you could stow a rocket launcher under this skirt. Not that you've gone quite that far.

Some guests are lingering outside; Abraham Lincoln deep in conversation with a Greek philosopher, and as you politely squeeze past the philosopher laughs and says, "Got any cake?"

Inside, you are ushered into an anteroom, where you take a moment to exchange niceties with your hostess, an excitable Elizabeth I. Thankfully, there are a lot of people wanting to talk to her, and you are able to slip away again after a moment, alert for your target.

There he is, in the rather cheap Caesar costume, waving a wineglass around to punctuate his conversation. You sigh. He's hard enough to put up with when he isn't drunk. But, the mission is what is it. You move in. Smile. Talk. Learn enough to know that you're going to have wait until later to get to what you want. At least that means you won't have to stick this close to him all night, but you hate waiting. How boring.

You're heading to the buffet table, when the crowd parts, a tall woman in top hat and tails turns, and your eyes meet her blue ones with a moment of mutal shock.

Shock gives way to calculation, and then a rueful smile. You're sure your own face shows the same journey of emotion. You both begin moving at the same time, meeting in the middle.

Angel's suit is monochrome, and though not revealing or overly tight, it follows the lines of her body closely, making her legs look even longer. The top hat sits at a jaunty angle on her head; her hair is scraped back, emphasizing her cheekbones. She takes in your costume with wry amusement. "Marie Antoinette? Bien, ç'est charmant."

"Merci," you say, inclining your head, infusing your voice with a ton of sugar and an ounce of venom. "How nice to see you."

"Shouldn't you curtsy?"

"I'm the queen," you say, locking eyes with her, your lips curving into a deliberate, challenging smile. "Shouldn't you kneel?"

Delight flashes in her eyes. "Careful, chérie. You know what the French do to queens."

"And who are you supposed to be?"

She gestures at her suit and gives a theatrical shrug. "A historical figure, can’t you tell? Honestly, I already had this in my wardrobe. It was a last minute invitation."

"Oh really? And who were you invited by?"

"A friend," she says lightly. "And you? Or are you here for me?" It's said like a joke, but her eyes remain on you and there's a tension in her jaw.

"Believe it or not, there are more important things in the world than you." Even as you say it you're wondering whether what you see on her face is an act. Is she here because of your mission, and the surprise just an illusion?

Of course, you have to stick with her and find out now, don't you? Alas, you literally have no choice. Such a shame.

The music changes, and an irresistible idea comes to your mind. "Care to dance?" You stretch out your hand - an invitation, a challenge.

She takes it. You knew she would.

"Who's leading?"

You didn't mind until she asked the question, but now you have to say, "Me."

Her smile widens.

You step close to her, take a breath of her perfume, and trail your fingers up her spine to her waist. She brushes her hand ever-so-lightly across the skin bared by the neckline of your dress before resting it on your shoulder. You're not looking up to meet her eyes, but you can feel her gaze on you, like you always can. Like you just stepped into a spotlight. And you're about to give one hell of a show.

You notice she's not so sure of the steps at first, glancing down at your feet to copy your movements, but she picks it up quickly. Of course, that means you have to up the ante. You break apart from her, your skirts flaring out around you, and lock your right arm with hers. She picks up your intent immediately, and you circle around each other before moving apart for a breath, fingertips stretched out, just touching.

"So I have a question," she says. "Not about work, just a little curiosity I have, you know." She spins elegantly back into your arms, once again close enough for you to feel the heat from her body.

"Yes?" you say, wary.

"I heard once that with the old-style dresses," she says, leaning in still closer, her head lowered into the curve of your neck, "to make it easier for the ladies to use the toilet, they would not wear anything underneath." Her breath caresses your ear. You can hear the grin in her voice. "So I'm just wondering... how accurate is the costume?"

You concentrate very, very hard on the next few steps, and manage to not trip over your feet. It doesn't help that your brain decides at that moment to make you very aware of her hand in yours, and all the things you know she can do with those hands...

But then, warns a last bastion of common sense, you really don't want her finding out what gear you actually have hidden under these skirts.

"You really want to know?" you say, lowering your voice seductively.

"Mm-hmm."

"First, tell me why you're really here."

"That's it?"

"To start with."

"Mostly, it's just a social event. There's people I need to keep contact with, in case I need them for the future."

It sounds plausible enough. There are faces in the crowd you recognise. The coincidence is possible, given the circles you're both running in. The question is, how much overlap is there between the people you know and the ones Angel knows? She'll never give away the details; there's no point in even asking. Really, just as long as your Caesar isn't mixed up in her business, it shouldn't be a problem, right?

"Satisfied?" she purrs. "So, what are you really doing here?"

You consider an outright lie, but it feels unfair to her. That's not how your game goes.

"Honestly? If I told you, I'd have to kill you."

She gives a soft laugh. "You'd have to try." You move together for a few more bars in silence, then she says, "You know there are people here who are protected?"

"Give me a list of them, and I'll try to avoid any clashes," you say dryly.

"You know what I'm saying."

"I do," you reply with a sigh. The music winds to an end, and you both come to a stop. "Business before pleasure, I suppose?"

"Why not both?" she says, and leans in to kiss your cheek. "Come find me if you want to get in more trouble." She adjusts her hat, flashes you one more brilliant smile, and then just before the dancers around you start to move again, threads neatly through them and is gone.

[fenristheorem]

Hi! Can i ask a scenario/headcanon for my human OC s/o and lance? thank u 🖤

Hello again! Happy to write for your OC! 😊

The page who requested this DM'ed me details of their OC, so I'll write some major points of their OC in a list below so there's a general idea of who I'm writing.

~Under the cut~

The OC:

To begin with, her name is Mary.

She's a human with witch ancestry, and is roughly 164 cm or 5 ft 4 in.

Since coming to Eldarya, she's learned to control electricity. This can be used as a weapon. It can be pooled to be thrown as a bolt, or it can be charged into another object without her even touching it. This ability also reflects her emotions a bit - if she’s feeling anxious, tense, or scared she may accidentally end up shocking someone who touches her.

She can talk with animals/companions. She’s their voice in a way, and she speaks for them when they need something said but can’t say it themselves. This comes from a mind-link with them, and through this link she can also control them and their actions.

Occasionally she receives premonitions because of her ancestry. Mary can’t control this ability, it comes at random times, but it can still warn her of future events.

Personality - Mary can be considered the mother of the group, with a bit of a dirty mind. She cares deeply for those who are close to her but isn’t afraid to give them a sharp scolding if they worry her seriously. She’s pretty quiet, but not shy, and while she’s wary of strangers she can quickly warm up to them. Her mind-link to animals has helped her grow to love these creatures in time, and she’s very protective of them and her friends/family. Mary isn’t afraid to fight for her beliefs and what she feels is right, she likes to be modest but isn’t afraid to be the center of the attention in a time where she needs to put her foot down. However, she does understand that people can change, and will give others a second chance - and even advocate for them - if they show sincere regrets for their mistakes.

Now that that's settled, I'll get to the headcanons (and I added an extra scenario because I had a great idea).

Lance's relationship with Mary:

Oh, where to start?

In his lifetime, Lance has learned that you need to appreciate the people who are true with themselves and others, and who stand by you even when it might be better or easier for them not to. He tries his best to be as useful to the guard as possible - to make up for everything he's done - so when she comes to him, noticing that he's been running himself a bit too hard some days, and tells him to take a break and says that she's worried for him, he listens.

He fights a bit at first; he’s not used to having such a caring figure watch over him, but in time he realizes that she acts like this to show she cares. He’ll soften up then, slowly learning the best ways to comfort her worries for him and give genuine apologies when he fails to show that’s he’s truly alright after her concerns run rampant. She just wants him to be alright and know she cares.

Lance admires her adamance in fighting for what she feels is right, and even further appreciates her fearlessness in opening up to him and trusting him early on when he was proving to her that he had changed. Frankly, he expected her to take many months, perhaps years, before accepting that he had changed from his past ways, and was delightfully surprised when he found that she actually was beginning to believe it early on. She had no reason to doubt, though - many weeks had passed and he continuously proved that he’s changed for the better, so while she was cautious (her mother didn’t raise a naive fool), she kept an open mind on the topic and let his actions and words speak for himself.

He’s happy to stand beside her on topics that they share a common opinion on, talking and debating new reasons as to why they feel this way or that - and although they’re open-minded to other’s opinions on the matter, when they’re faced with a time where opinions can shape something permanently and it seems a mistake is about to be made, they won’t hesitate to argue their points. With that being said, they’re very careful to be sure that they aren’t misleading anyone, but there are certainly some things that they know to be right and they will readily fight alongside each other to enforce that the right decision needs to be made.

However, most of the time they’re pretty quiet. They like the modesty of carrying on daily tasks and (for Mary, at least) hanging out with friends. Mary doesn’t like to make a scene for no reason, and Lance genuinely loves that he doesn’t need to worry about her starting drama around the guard that superiors will need to deal with. Their temperament around each other is truly relaxing, knowing that the other won’t randomly burst out screeching information that shouldn’t be stressed.

Some of the most fascinating things for Lance, however, are the fact that she can speak with animals and control electricity. These are the topics that he likes to observe her doing.

He’ll spar with her every now and again - just to make sure she can still defend herself to his standards - and will receive a nasty surprise when he’s nearly struck with a thunderbolt that scorches the ground next to him - not meant to hit him, just meant to remind him.

“Lance, really, I think I’m fine. Even the most powerful warriors can’t stand to electricity.” She’ll faintly laugh at his semi-shocked expression. He forgets every now and again that she can do that.

However, she has had moments of anxiety that really shock him... literally. She'll be anxious or nervous about something, pacing around restlessly, and he'll try to hold her comfortingly... only to receive a nasty zap the instant his fingers brush her skin. She'll apologize profusely, only feeling worse at the fact her ability hurt him, but he'll pay no mind and still take her in his arms. He'll endure the pin pricks if it means he can help calm her down.

He takes her premonitions seriously as well. Every once in a while she’ll dream of something so vivid, so rational and realistic, that she just can’t ignore it. Usually she’ll keep her mouth shut on most of her dreams if they don’t bother her to the point of needing comfort, but sometimes there’s just this need for Lance to know. He’ll listen - he won’t ever deny her a comforting shoulder to lean on when she needs to talk - and his jaw will nearly drop every time it turns out that her dream turns into reality. This is far and few in between, but it does happen, and Lance - having quickly learned many lessons with her - will take these dreams heavily into account and try to plan accordingly. Sometimes a dream is just a dream, of course, but they've recognized tell tale signs to point when a dream may be different.

There’s some bittersweet warmth that takes over him when he sees her talking to the creatures of Eldarya, knowing that he nearly destroyed all of that and, fortunately, failed. Her bond with these animals is so strong that some days he wonders if there’s more than just a mind-link, perhaps some sort of spiritual-link as well, but he could never be truly sure.

He was certainly surprised the first time it happened, though, when he was merely thinking bemusedly that she was just talking to a small woodland creature to be cute.

“She says the plant is dark green with red tipped leaves - big leaves, bigger than your hand. It’s that way.” She points in a direction.

Lance pauses and looks with her, his mind suddenly whirring so fast he nearly suffers whiplash, and doesn’t speak for many moments as his stare remains glued to her, minor hints of fear and shock lacing his expression.

“What? That’s what she said...” Mary is suddenly minorly off-put - nothing is more terrifying than when Lance doesn’t know how to react to a situation.

“The... the plant... she... how???” He doesn’t exactly know what he wants to ask.

“Oh, I’m so sorry! I have a mind-link with animals, I can speak with them through thought.” She continues to apologize as Lance suddenly heaves a relieved breath.

He truly thought his partner had went crazy for those moments.

“So this way?” “Yea.” “Ok.” “Hey, we really need to find this plant to study it, it might be dangerous. I need you to bring us to it.”

The woodland critter pauses for a moment, looking deep into her eyes as she links their mind, and then scuttles off in the direction of the plant.

Lance pauses again, the same blank, semi-fearful-shocked expression having returned as he watches the creature, Mary following close behind.

“It’s more polite to ask where it is rather than take control of the mind to see where we need to go, but smaller creatures don’t always understand the ideas of ‘show us’.” She says semi-guiltily as she passes by, knowing she accidentally left him in the dark on a lot of this ability.

“I... sure.” He follows as well. He’ll need some time to ponder over this before beginning the questions.

Lance grows very used to this in time, and even specifically asks her to come with him on forest expeditions sometimes if animals could help him find his objective, but it certainly was a shock when he first learned of it.

Their relationship is serene, they have minimal arguments and, frankly, when they do argue it’s more of a debate, and they enjoy spending time with each other doing subtle things. Every now and again they’ll enjoy an adventure (usually of Lance’s suggestion), and these adventures always yield entertaining, enjoyable results, but at the end of the day they also heavily enjoy the calm of life. It takes a while for Lance to settle into Mary’s quirks and habits, but he never regrets for even a day allowing himself to be close to her. She brightens his life in multiple ways, providing comfort, entertainment and support to him, and he seeks to return that as much as he’s given it.

Extra scenario:

(I theorize that Lance adopted Floppy and I will fight Beemoov on this if needed!)

“Oh great Oracle she’s still so adorable!”

Mary softly squeaked the words as she leaned down to watch the Musarose scuttle around the desk her nest was placed on. It had been a long while since she had last seen Floppy, the last time being sometime before the White Sacrifice, but she was still so freaking cute.

Floppy stopped and looked up at her, twitching her tiny pink nose before returning to scurrying across the wood. The little creature fled back into her nest for a moment, hidden from sight, before re-emerging and scuttling to the other end of the desk where nesting material for Musaroses lay in a wooden box. She scrambled onto the edge and took a small bunch in her maw before dashing back to her nest, disappearing again into the small hole entrance.

“A little more in the corner there...” A quiet, feminine voice echoed in Mary’s mind, and she reached over to the box of bedding, gently - to avoid crushing the soft material - pinching a bit of the bedding between her fingers before bringing her arm back.

Floppy poked her head back out again, preparing for another mad dash across the desk, before pricking her round ears and ambling out of her nest to settle in front of Mary. Mary brought her hand down to Floppy and small pink paws grappled in the air to receive the bedding.

“Thank you.” The feminine voice whispered again as Floppy blinked at her before she turned and slipped back into her nest.

Mary smiled as she stood up straight and looked towards Lance, who was seated at the edge of his bed. He was slouched forward, his elbows resting on his knees while he fiddled with his hands restlessly, his gaze fixed intently on Floppy’s nest.

“Thank you for letting me see her again. I had wondered what happened to her...” Mary spoke gently as she walked with quiet footsteps towards Lance, choosing to sit next to him so she could observe Floppy as well.

“Of course.” He responded with a small smile and a glance at her before looking to the floor.

Mary recognized that something seemed off about Lance as she studied him - he was pretty resigned at the moment. She realized that Lance wasn’t usually overly energetic, but he certainly wasn’t this sedated on average.

Floppy emerged from her nest another time and bounded over to the box of bedding, resting her front paws on it and trying with all of her greatest might to nudge the box.

“Done. Lance, done.” The voice whispered in Mary’s mind again, and she was about to open her mouth to relay Floppy’s words when Lance stood and sauntered over to the desk.

Floppy leaped at his hand as he closed the lid, missing and disappearing with a poof into the bedding instead.

“Floppy.” The quietest of laughs escaped him as he reached his hand into the bedding to pull the Musarose out. She shook herself off while he continued to close the lid with his other hand.

Mary smiled again and joined his side by the desk, resting a hand on the box with intentions of putting it back for him. However, Lance rested his hand gently on her wrist as he noticed, turning to look at her with soft eyes and a small, affectionate tilt of his lips.

“I got it.” He said.

Floppy scrambled onto the desk as Lance picked up the box and headed towards a chest placed alongside another wall of his room, while Mary stood still by the Musarose. They both watched Lance for a moment as he crouched down and opened the chest, hesitating to put the box inside.

“The box belonged to Valkyon.” Mary turned to look at Floppy, who was crouched on the desk, as she started to speak through the mind link. 

“Oh?” She spoke quietly. Mary was sure that Lance could still hear everything she might say, but she still spoke in a quiet tone for the sake of discretion.

“The box reminds Lance of his brother, but he refuses to get rid of it. He really misses him.”

Mary stared at Floppy for a moment before turning to look at Lance again. He was tracing his thumb over a small etching in the wood that she could faintly make out. A ‘v’... ‘a’... ‘l’... ‘y’... Was that Valkyon’s name carved into the wood?

“He does this a lot when he’s reminded of him. I miss him too, so I try to comfort him. I’m not sure if it works, but I just want Lance to know that I miss him too, and that I’m sure Valkyon isn’t angry. He always spoke so highly of his brother in his memories, and even when he found out that he had to fight Lance he still loved him so much. He just wanted his brother to feel better...”

Mary didn’t know what to say. She knew as well that Valkyon wasn’t angry, and that Lance heavily missed his brother. Did Lance know that Floppy felt all this as well? Did he know that Floppy can tell when he’s in agony and tries to comfort him?

Lance set the wooden box into the chest and closed it, standing up and beginning to shuffle around a few things on another desk next to it. He says nothing but the sloping of his shoulders and the way he hangs his head tells that he’s burdened by thoughts.

“Valkyon always hoped that his brother was alive; he never stopped searching for him and went to many extremes to try and track him. I don’t think Lance knows how much he meant to Valkyon, even after Valkyon realized he had been fighting his brother the whole time. I just wish he knew this, I think it would comfort him, knowing that his brother will love him no matter what...” 

Mary looked at Floppy again and the Musarose turned to meet her gaze. Both were silent, and Mary had a feeling that the small creature wanted her to do something. Little did Floppy know, Mary already was planning on how to tell this to Lance. She knew the companion wouldn’t have told her all of this in such detail, while Lance is in such pain, unless she meant for her to do something about it.

Her gaze returns to Lance as he turns and heads towards them again, reaching gently for Floppy. She extended her tiny legs into the air to reach for his hand and claw her way up to stand and look at him. He pet her a few times with his thumb, holding her close to his chest, before setting her down again near the entrance to her nest. One hand was set on the desk to allow himself to lean while Floppy scurried over and around his other hand, a whisper of a smile resting on his face and a distant look in his eyes...

“You know... Floppy misses him too.”

Lance flicked his gaze over to Mary as she began to speak, who watching the Musarose clamber about.

“She knows when you’re reminded of him, and she doesn’t want to see you in pain. She knows that Valk doesn’t want you to be in pain either...” 

His gaze fled to an empty section of the desk, bowing his head. Mary took just a small step closer to him.

"Lance-" He refused to hear it; he couldn't hear it.

Mary reached a hand out to rest on his shoulder as she began speaking, but he backed away, unable to meet her gaze, and sauntered to the window. Lance felt his throat constrict and pain prick at his chest as he rested both hands on the windowsill and bowed his head; this was all his fault, he didn't deserve comfort.

Mary refused to give up though, Lance needed to hear this. He needed to know that, while he had done some terrible things, he always was and still is loved dearly. She quickly trod after him, Floppy dashing along the desk and over other furnishings to keep her important role in this, and, although she knew he wouldn't take too gracefully to this, rested her hand on his arm and stood close by him.

“Valk never stopped looking for you, he always believed you could still be alive. He spent so much energy trying to find a possible lead on you... and he always spoke highly of you.” Mary spoke in a gentle tone as she watched his expression, carefully testing her words to assure she didn’t distress him too much. She glanced over at Floppy, who was sitting on the windowsill on Lance’s other side.

“Valk always believed him in. He always believed that Lance was still good.”

“Valk always loved you and he always believed in you, even after knowing what you had done.”

Watching as Lance’s blue eyes grew misty as he stared through the window, Mary knew she was getting to him. She glanced at Floppy again as the companion nudged closer to rest her fore-paws on Lance’s wrist and sniff at him.

“Floppy knows when you have moments where you miss him... she knows how much Valk loved you, and she wants you to know that even though he isn’t here anymore, she is and she can love you for him.”

Lance shut his glassy eyes at this, tilting his head down, before opening his eyes just the slightest to look at Floppy with a tragic look on his face. The Musarose curled her tail over his hand and looked up at him as though he was her whole world. He breathed a shaky breath and spared a bittersweet smile at her.

Mary pressed herself gently against Lance, bringing both her arms around him to pull him closer. He didn’t resist, turning to face her and pull her into a tight hug with one hand on her nape and the other around her waist as he buried his face in her neck. She could swear she felt a bit of moisture near her neck as Lance stifled a heaving breath.

Floppy joined as well, leaping onto Mary’s clothing and crawling upwards until she could settle against Lance’s neck, where she laid gripping his shoulder armor as to not lose balance and fall.

“Lance...” Mary wanted to say something more to comfort him, but she couldn’t bring anything to mind that would help this situation. Anything further would just break Lance, and she didn’t want to destroy the moment that was being shared. She resigned to just holding Lance in a gentle and loving grasp as he held her like she was his last lifeline.

After the passing of many minutes, Lance eventually regained control of his breathing and loosened his grasp to avoid suffocating her. As he adjusted his grip, wrapping both his arms completely around her tiny frame, only one thought could run through his mind and be spoken:

“Thank you.”

Hmm. I feel like I deviated from Mary’s personality a bit with the short-story/scenario as it required her to be a bit pushy, but I suppose a trait of being a motherly person is not being afraid to put someone in a bit of distress if it’s something they need to hear to feel better in the long run.

I hope you liked this overall! This was my first time writing with a specific OC, which turned out a lot harder than I originally thought and hence why it took so long, but I think I did well!

Have a request? Ask them here!

But first, please read the rules list for asks!

[lemonpeter]

STARKER, by Peter B. Parker

Chapter 5: Wedding

A/N: because it comes up in this chapter: we took the artistic liberty of changing canon, so our May was not blipped.

and the big day is finally here!! our babies are getting MARRIED!! enjoy all the sap! <3 -bloo and bri 💕

Warnings: marriage, reference to canonical character death

Masterlist ao3

————

"So, Tony," Mary started, leaning against her husband on the couch, glass of wine in hand. "How long have you and Peter known each other?"

Everyone was gathered in the sitting area, having just finished a wonderful home cooked meal of pot roast, potatoes, and roasted veggies, prepared by Mary, May, and Peter. But most of the work had been done by the latter.

Tony smiled softly at the question, casting a glance at Peter, who was tucked into his own side. He took a small sip from his glass before speaking. "A few years. We met through my job, actually. I was in a bit of a tricky situation, and in my search for possible- solutions, I stumbled across some of Peter's work. And I was absolutely blown away."

The statement elicited a hum of pride from Ben as he raised his beer in the air. “That’s our Pete, ever the genius. He gets it from his uncle.” The grin on his face was easy and relaxed as he nudged his knee against May’s.

Peter snorted out a quiet laugh, gazing at his uncle and then landing his eyes on Tony. “I was just happy to help,” he said sweetly. And it wasn’t untrue. He had been beyond thrilled to go to Berlin with Tony. He’d been idolizing the man nearly a decade at that point.

How had that been less than three years ago? It felt like a lifetime had passed since the day they first met, when he walked into their tiny apartment to find Tony Stark sitting on his couch, winking at him.

Mary nodded, an easy smile on her lips. “That’s perfect.” She looked at Richard, holding onto his hand. The diamond on her wedding ring glinted in the light. “Sounds a bit like us, doesn’t it?”

Her husband laughed, pressing a kiss to her forehead, his gaze fond. “It does, doesn’t it? But like father, like son, I guess.” He grinned at Peter.

The young man laughed, smiling sheepishly. He knew it was different, completely so, but he made no effort to correct the statement. He liked the idea that he and Tony were like his parents. That they were just another normal couple, living a normal life. One without extraordinary responsibility, risk, pain, and loss.

The life that they were meant to live, together.

Tony chuckled, hugging Peter closer to his body. He kissed the top of his fiancé’s head, nearly a mirrored action of how the younger man’s parents had acted. And- wasn’t that something? “Well, I’m just glad I found him when I did. He changed me, and my life, for the better and I couldn’t imagine living without him at this point.”

May snorted, covering it with a cough. It wouldn’t have fit the scene for her to laugh at something that was seemingly so random. Especially since she was the only person in the room other than Peter that knew that this Tony definitely wouldn’t be able to imagine life without Peter. Not without direction from her nephew’s fantasy, that is.

Hopefully Peter wouldn’t catch her slip up.

He didn’t seem to, just glancing over to her for a second before looking at his mom as she spoke again.

“Now, what’s the plan for the wedding? When is it going to be? Oh, a late-summer wedding would be so lovely. What are you thinking?” Mary asked, rambling excitedly, eyes wide as she looked over at Tony and Peter. “I can’t believe our boy is finally getting married!”

May wished that she could ignore the way her heart clenched at the words. There was no ‘finally’. Peter shouldn’t have been getting married. He was far too young. She hated the way that no one else there could understand how wrong it all was. She had to keep reminding herself that it wasn’t real.

“Oh, well,” Peter paused and looked at Tony, both apprehension and joy visible in his eyes. He flipped his hand over on his thigh, opening and closing his fist until his partner got the hint and clasped their hands together. “We want to do something soon since everyone is here. Maybe that’s a bit unorthodox but-“

“But so are we,” Tony joked lightly, nodding encouragingly at the younger man.

Peter’s cheeks flushed a soft pink as he laughed. “Well, there’s no denying that.” And it was okay to joke about it. Because none of his family would think there was anything out of the ordinary. They couldn’t. All they’d see and react to was their love. As they should. “But yeah, something...within a few days?” Maybe even less than that.

He wanted to have his dream wedding as soon as he finished what little planning was left.

And with his family surrounding him, everything was almost complete.

It was going to be perfect.

***

With his guest list prepared and everyone nearby, the ideal venue nailed down, and the other details listed out in his notebook, Peter could only think of one last thing that needed to be taken care of.

His vows.

Sure, it wasn’t mandatory for him to write his own. But he needed Tony to know just how strong his love was, and he wanted his words to be something personal rather than the generic cookie-cutter vows. He couldn’t let such a meaningful event go by without taking the opportunity to convey how much he truly loved the older man.

So Peter started on that last step, the words pouring out of him as he wrote them down. It felt as if he was putting his whole heart onto the paper, bearing it for all to see. Luckily, none of the people who would witness the fruits of his efforts would be judging him in any way.

No one other than himself, that was.

***

The night before the wedding found Peter puttering around the bedroom in one of Tony’s band t-shirts and a pair of pajama pants. He ran his hands through his already unruly hair, going down his mental checklist, when the older man walked in. “Hey T,” he sighed, smiling softly in his direction.

“You’re sure I can’t sleep in here tonight?” Tony pouted, sitting down on the edge of the bed. His overnight bag was on the floor by his feet, the garment bag containing his suit already out in the living room for him to grab on his way to one of the guest rooms. Where his soon-to-be husband was insisting he spend the night.

Peter chuckled under his breath and took a few steps so that he was standing in front of the other man. He draped his arms around Tony’s neck, looking down into his eyes. “I’m positive.” When the pout only deepened at his words, he rolled his eyes playfully. “It’s bad luck for you to see me before tomorrow, Tony! I’m serious- You are not to lay eyes on me until I’m making my way to the altar!”

“I don’t think that superstition counts if you’re not wearing a dress,” the sulky man pointed out, grumbling under his breath. He paused, frowning at Peter once more for good measure. “But fine,” he muttered after a moment, having accepted his fate when Peter’s expression didn’t change. “At least give me a kiss to hold me over, then?”

And who was Peter to say no to that?

He leaned down a little, closing the short distance between them as he pressed his lips to Tony’s quickly. Just a peck.

Of course, it couldn’t just stay a soft kiss with Tony. He was immediately trying to turn it into more, pulling Peter closer and nipping at his bottom lip enticingly.

Despite the way his stomach swooped at the sensation, the younger man pulled away, laughing softly. “No, no. That’s not going to work. Don’t even try that.”

Tony hummed, a slightly smug look on his face. He seemed to know just what kind of reaction he’d elicited. “Don’t try what? I can’t say I know what you mean, Pete...”

Peter laughed again, shaking his head. “You’re impossible. You know that?” He kissed the older man gently one more time before sitting down on the bed beside him. Letting his head lean to the side to rest his temple on Tony’s shoulder, he let out a deep breath, just enjoying the warmth of the innocent contact.

“It’s one of my best qualities,” Tony shot back playfully, his own head tilting to lean on the top of Peter’s. He slowly stood up after a moment, stretching his back and rotating his torso a few times. He cast a look in the teen’s direction. “But fine, I’m going now. To that cold, empty guest room. Where I’ll sleep all alone,” he said dramatically, throwing his head back slightly with a flourish. He bent over to scoop his bag up from the ground and took a step away from the bed.

Despite knowing that his partner was joking, Peter couldn’t help the way his chest grew tight. He didn’t want to actually go to sleep without Tony. Just the thought caused his heart to lurch with panic and made him want to cry. He didn’t want to be away from him at all, not even in their current situation. Traditions be damned. “Tony...”

Turning around, the taller man raised an eyebrow. “Yeah?” He caught the look in the other’s eyes and immediately turned around to face him, taking a small step closer. “Peter? What is it, what’s wrong, baby? Is it what I said? I’m just joking, Pete, it’s okay. I’m sor-”

Peter shook his head rapidly. He sniffed softly to try and lessen the stinging sensation in the back of his nose. “No, no don’t be sorry Tony, I know you’re kidding. But- Can you maybe…,” he trailed off, blinking a few times against the moisture that was building up. His eyes locked on Tony’s before darting away.

God, why was he so anxious and upset? Literally all he needed to do was tell Tony that he’d changed his mind.

“I just- Can you stay, maybe?” He chanced a look back at Tony, who was nodding with the expression of someone who had just been asked what they thought was a ridiculously easy question.

“Of course, babydoll,” Tony said, dropping the small duffel to the floor and pulling the young man into his arms. He pressed a kiss to the side of his head and squeezed him tight for a moment. “C’mon, let’s go to bed, we can cuddle for a while.” He smiled softly as they pulled away from each other, ducking down quickly to touch his lips to Peter’s. “We’ve got a big day tomorrow.”

***

Everything went smoothly after that. The couple slept soundly, snuggled together all night long with Peter’s head pressed up against Tony’s chest.

And they stayed that way for a while after waking, whispering to each other in the morning light. The two didn’t separate until it was absolutely necessary and they needed to get ready, lest they be late to their own wedding.

Everyone made their way to the venue (although the rest of them would have believed they traveled by car, Peter knew that all he’d done was shift the scene) and settled in their appropriate areas to get ready.

It was getting close to starting time and no one had seen Peter yet. So May decided that it could be a good time for her to fully immerse herself in the illusion once again.

“Not getting cold feet, are you?” She asked gently as she stepped into the room that was serving as the 'bridal' suite. Her breath caught in her throat at the sight that greeted her.

Peter was standing in front of the full-length mirror, his back to the door. His hair was curled haphazardly on top of his head, effortlessly beautiful, a few pieces falling down into his face as he fussed with the white button-up and black vest he was putting on to go with his dark tailored trousers

She was suddenly struck with the memory of watching a much smaller boy get himself ready for a funeral, staring at himself in the too-large suit jacket that had been her husband’s just a few days prior.

Just a little boy playing dress up, trying to be a man.

Peter’s head jerked up at the sound of her voice, and she realized that her sudden appearance must not have fit exactly with his script for this scene.

He made eye contact with her in the mirror, finishing up the last button on his shirt. An excited yet nervous smile tugged at his lips. “What? Of course not.” The tone of his voice suggested that he thought it silly, the notion that he’d ever second guess marrying Tony. That it was a decision he would happily make without thinking at all.

And in her opinion, he kind of was.

The woman held back her reservations and gave him a gentle smile, coming to help with the tie that was hanging undone around his neck. “I’m glad to hear that, bubby.” At least, that’s what she was going to lead Peter to believe. She still didn’t approve, illusion or not.

It was only partially due to the fact that the other party involved was Tony Stark. Her dislike, bordering on apathy, for the man was no secret. He’d gotten her nephew, her baby, killed further away from home than she’d ever even imagined possible. But not before whisking him away on a covert mission to Germany, then abandoning him after burdening him with what was an absurd amount of responsibility for even a grown man. Peter had come clean about everything after he returned from the Blip.

She never forgot the way she felt when she saw the video of Peter being dragged into space by that creature, the panic of not being able to get in touch with him.

Nor the way Tony Stark had shown up on her doorstep, haggard and unkempt, after dodging her calls for weeks. How he wasn’t able to even look her in the eye as he confirmed what she already knew- That her baby wasn’t coming home, that he’d been taken away from her without the chance to say goodbye. The chance to tell him that he was enough, that he didn’t need to save the world to be worthy. That he was her world.

She’d come to a sort of peace about it all after the Blip was reversed. She never absolved Stark of the role he played in Peter’s death, but she was able to reconcile it with the fact that he sacrificed his own life to restore those of half of the world’s population.

With that, she believed that she’d never have to see him again. He was gone. And that was just fine with her.

Yet he was still haunting her. The very man who she felt was at fault for robbing her of five years with Peter was causing her nephew to break, to get lost in his own mind. The ass was dead, but he was still managing to screw things up.

Because even the near-peace she felt she had reached towards the man didn't mean she was okay him marrying, or even dating, her underage nephew. Sure, Peter was the age of consent in New York, but that was just a technicality. She kept having to remind herself that none of it was real, but rather an extremely detailed fantasy that she was experiencing secondhand.

She was definitely going to talk to Peter about the relationship once the whole thing was over. He had to know that none of it was possible in the real world.

Peter couldn’t let go. He’d already lost so much, she could see that he couldn’t bear to lose this too. Not at the moment. It was the one place he felt safe and happy, after not feeling either of those things for who knew how long.

And May was forced to watch helplessly from the side.

She could see that he was different. Even if what she saw wasn’t his physical body, there was a look in his eyes that broke her heart. It was almost wild as he frantically grasped at pieces of his reality, unhinged. But his eyes also held a dullness that she hadn’t seen in a long time. One she’d hoped to never see again.

The same look she’d seen on that newly orphaned little boy’s face on the way home from the service, in the faraway expression on the lanky teen that had lost yet another person he loved.

She had to keep reminding herself of the plan. She had to play along to the best of her abilities and keep Peter happy until she could convince him to shut the illusion down and come home.

Everything in her wanted to beg him to just give up this mess and come home to her already. She’d barely had him back before he was gone again, this time of his own accord. But she knew that she couldn’t. Not yet. She just had to play along.

Hopefully not for much longer.

The woman directed her attention back to Peter after pushing the thoughts away. “It’s about time to get this show on the road, isn’t it?” She didn’t want to give him away. Even if it was just for this fantasy of his. It felt like she was losing him entirely to the world he’d created in his mind.

Peter nodded slowly, hands fidgeting nervously with his clothes. “Yeah, almost. I should probably start...heading out there, huh? Although it’s not like things can start without me,” he joked softly.

May figured that much was definitely true. “Yeah, I guess you should. And I should too. I’ll be right there, bubby. Right next to Ben and your parents.” The words felt wrong to say. No matter how badly either of them wanted it, Mary and Richard were never going to be there to see him get married. Neither was her Ben.

But there they were anyways. Saving a seat for her.

She wasn’t sure if it was any better than sitting beside three empty seats, reserved for people incapable of occupying them.

***

There was an easy smile on Peter's face as he looked around, heart pounding. It was nearly time for it to really begin. Almost time to finally make his way down the aisle.

He was really going to marry the man of his dreams. He was gonna marry Tony Stark.

Then the scene began shifting, the walls slowly disappearing from around him.

His heart nearly stopped. He was worried that the whole thing was all falling apart, melting away right before his eyes. Panic bloomed in his chest. But he was still in control, evidenced by the small bouquet of flowers he thought into existence on a whim, so he didn’t understand what could possibly have been happening.

When the smoke (or pixels, technically) cleared and he could finally work out his surroundings again, he felt tears stinging his eyes as his breath caught in his throat.

It wasn’t the huge, extravagant venue from before. Not even close. Gone was the large ballroom, striking in its opulence. There was nothing grand or luxurious about what he saw now but it felt so much more like them. It was perfect.

All around Peter was a bright, plush green meadow dotted with pastel-colored wildflowers. Tall trees surrounded the perimeter of the clearing, separating them from the rest of the world. Sunlight shone through the foliage in scattered beams, casting everything in an ethereal glow. The air was sweet and calm, instantly calming his nerves.

Turning his head, he saw that he was standing on the porch of a small log cabin. May was standing in the entryway, watching him with wide eyes. It warmed his heart to see how emotional she was, how much she cared about him and his happiness.

And just a few yards away was the ceremony. Tony was already standing in front of the makeshift altar with Uncle Ben, eyes shining as he watched Peter. He smiled softly before biting his lip and winking, the actions at odds with the way he brought a hand up in a slight wave before clasping them both in front of him. His thumbs wrestled with each other, twiddling back and forth.

Peter recognized the gesture as something his lover did when he was feeling nervous about something and trying to hide it.

Too bad Peter knew most of his tells.

The young man smiled from the steps as he began descending them, stepping down into the lush grass in a few strides.

He caught movement out the corner of his eye and he watched as a small pastel yellow butterfly landed on the wildflower bouquet clutched in his left hand.

A soft laugh bubbled up from Peter’s chest. He just couldn’t help himself. He thought he’d had what he wanted, but what he ended up with was so much better than he could have imagined. It was absolutely magical.

He turned around slightly when he heard May come to stand beside him.

“You ready, baby?” Her eyes were shining wetly behind her glasses, the wind gently blowing the skirt of her lilac colored dress.

Nodding, Peter took a deep breath and clutched at his aunt’s hand. “I’m getting married, May,” he said quietly, awestruck and wide eyed as they started making their way to the altar, unable to help the teary smile on his face.

May sniffled and squeezed his hand. “Yeah, you are, bubby.” Her voice was soft, but he could hear the slight wobble she was trying to hide. “You make sure he treats you right, okay?”

“I know he will,” Peter assured her, turning to look at the older man as they walked, the song of the birds in the trees serving as the wedding march. “Tony would never do anything to hurt me.”

May just hummed softly in response, locking eyes with Ben as they reached the beginning of the trail of brightly colored petals leading up to the altar, which had the same blooms intertwined with the lattice of the thin sticks it was composed of. She choked out a wet laugh when the man just grinned and winked at her.

Peter felt something give in his chest at the interaction, struck by the familiarity, and he clutched the bouquet tighter in his hand when Tony’s eyes met his.

The teen didn’t look away once until he and May came to a stop in front of the two men.

His aunt pressed her lips to his cheek in a kiss, squeezing his hand one last time and taking the bouquet from him before going to sit down beside his parents, who were seated on a wooden bench a few feet away from them.

Ben took a small step forward to knock his elbow against Peter’s. “You ready, champ?” His eyes searched the boy’s as the younger nodded. “Great,” he said softly, grinning as he moved back to his spot, glancing at Tony before turning to his family.

“We’re gathered here today to celebrate the marriage of the two men standing in front of me, Peter and Tony. To celebrate their love. Which is something I’m fortunate enough to know a thing or two about, myself. My May, our love and the wonderful life I’ve been able to share with her, that’s the most special thing I’ve ever experienced, and I’m overjoyed that Peter has found his own soulmate.”

Peter sniffled, tears already stinging in his eyes, despite the fact that they’d just gotten started. His hands were clenched into fists at his sides, fingers twitching restlessly.

“I’ll be reading some traditional vows, but first, Tony and Peter have some words they’d like to share with each other. You're up first, right Pete?” Ben turned his head toward the younger man.

The teen nodded at his uncle and looked down at his feet, taking a deep breath before lifting his head up and gazing deeply into the eyes of the man he was about to marry.

"Tony," he said, voice cracking. "I've spent hours trying to figure out what I wanted to say to you, but nothing I came up with seemed good enough. And I realized that nothing ever would be, and that all I could do was try my best to show you how much I love you. And that's just it, that's exactly what I'm going to spend the rest of our life doing. So I- Tony, I promise to always do my best, to be the best man that I can. Because you and your love are the best thing that will ever happen to me." He took a shaky breath, steeling himself for his next words. “And I know that nothing is stronger than our love for each other.”

The older man gazed at him, eyes alight with adoration. “I’ll be the first to admit that I never really believed in true love. Had I felt love, even been in love before? Yeah, of course. But none of that ever felt predestined, none of it felt like fate. None of that was inevitable.” He paused, swallowing thickly. “But then I met you, Pete. And you completely turned my world upside down. You changed everything.”

A soft sound slipped from Peter’s lips, and he slapped a hand over his mouth to prevent it from happening again. “Tony,” he said tearfully, the sound muffled by his palm.

His love just shook his head and shot him a wobbly smile. “It’s true, baby. You are what was always missing, that thing that I never knew I needed, but now know I cannot live without. And I’ll continue to do whatever is necessary to ensure that I never have to. You’ll never want for anything, physically or emotionally. I vow to give you all of me, everything that I am. Because you’re it for me, Peter.” The tears escaping his eyes did nothing to take away from the lopsided grin that overtook his face. “This right here...this is my endgame.”

Peter’s mouth was open before he could stop it. “I love you,” he blurted as he reached out to grab the older man’s hand, biting back a sob. “Tony I love you so much-,” he rushed out.

Tony chuckled, the hand Peter wasn’t holding moving up to cup his cheek and swipe away the tear that was rolling down his skin. “I love you too, baby.”

It was quiet, everyone touched as the love between the two of them was put on display.

“And I guess it’s my turn now.” Ben cleared his throat after a moment in an attempt to get rid of the lump that had formed there. “If you’ll take out the rings, please.” He waited as the men each pulled a thin gold band from their pockets. "Do you, Peter Benjamin Parker, take this man, Anthony Edward Stark, to be your lawfully wedded husband-"

"I do, you know I do," Peter choked out through his tears, unable to keep himself from interrupting yet again. He reached out for Tony’s hand and clumsily slid the metal onto his ring ringer. The chuckles that followed caused a red flush to take over his face, but he held fast to his statement. Of course he did, Tony was the most important person in his life. Getting to marry him and spend the rest of their days together was a dream come true. He wasn’t sorry about it at all.

His uncle just shook his head, smiling fondly at his excitement. "Alright, hold your horses, Pete- And do you, Anthony Edward Stark, take this man, Peter Benjamin Parker, to be your lawfully wedded husband?" He paused there, eyes shining as he playfully glanced at Tony as if he were going to interrupt as well.

Tony just bit back a smirk, eyes moving from Ben back to Peter. His hands squeezed at the younger man’s, and his eyes twinkled in the afternoon light that came through the trees.

Ben continued once it was clear that the man was going to keep quiet until it was his turn to speak. "To have and to hold from this day forward? To love and to cherish for better or worse, for richer or poorer, through sickness and in health, til death do you part?"

“I do,” Tony answered, not breaking his gaze at Peter as he spoke. Then he did look away, taking both of Peter’s hands in his to place the ring on his finger, running his thumb over it once it was in place.

“Then by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you Mr. and Mr. Stark. You may now kiss your husband.”

Their lips met before the sentence was even finished.

***

Peter laughed as he was lifted into the air, not fighting it as Tony grabbed him bridal-style and carried him into the cabin he had exited earlier. “What are you doing?” His giddiness was apparent in his voice.

“What? I’m carrying you over the threshold,” Tony told him with a grin. “It’s traditional. I was under the impression that you were all for traditions.” He carried his husband through the doorway, leaning down to kiss him gently.

They were officially husbands.

As their lips met, the scene began shifting again.

The soft, homey feel of the cabin slowly melted away, a more sophisticated room developing around them. It was almost like watching instant film develop, though much faster. The sounds of family and nature slowly ceased. All that mattered was Tony and their kiss. The way Tony’s slightly chapped lips were moving against his.

When they finally parted again and opened their eyes the setting was completely changed.

Tony didn’t seem to notice, carrying Peter over to the plush white bed and setting him down. His eyes drank in the way the teen looked in the evening light, bathed in the pinks and purples of the sunset outside. “I think this will be a wonder to sleep on tonight. As well as...other things,” he said suggestively.

Peter laughed, shaking his head as he glanced around the room. The bed was huge, a california king like the one in the penthouse, with crisp sheets and topped with a down comforter that swallowed him up like a cloud as he lay on top of it. Two of the walls were almost completely glass, reminding him of their bedroom and making him feel at home in the luxurious setting.

It was way nicer than anything he’d ever actually been in, except maybe for the hotel they’d stayed in on their ‘retreat’ to Berlin. But this time he wasn’t down the hall from Tony, they were sharing a room. Sharing a bed. And it was perfect. His blood thrummed in his veins. “Oh yeah? That’s some pretty big talk. You sound like you have plans.”

The older man hummed, crawling onto the bed with his husband after kicking his shoes off and leaving them to land on the plush dark gray carpet. “I just might. Would you be interested in hearing them?”

“Hmm. Perhaps I could be persuaded.” Peter stretched out on the bed, stroking one hand through Tony’s hair as the man leaned his forehead against his chest, pressing a kiss over his heart. “Of course I wanna know, I’m just teasing.” One of his hands came up to grab at Tony’s hair.

Tony nodded, a soft hum escaping his lips as he moved up closer in order to kiss Peter again. He shifted and nudged a knee between the young man’s thighs to support himself as he hovered over his body. The kiss deepened, mouths moving together sensually before they pulled apart to breathe, only to reconnect seconds later, neither of them wanting to part any time soon.

They could leave the talking and just do. Following the way they felt, using their bodies to communicate with each other, was so much better than talking it out, anyways. There was no second-guessing, no pausing to try and get the words right.

Their bodies stayed intertwined the rest of the night, the newlywed husbands hardly parting from each other once.

And nothing was going to break them apart.

Til death do us part, their vows claimed.

But not even death was strong enough to do such a thing.

[ambidextrousarcher]

The Beat of a Heart

In honour of Doctor’s Day (barely in time), here’s a short story by my hand. It’s based mostly on real-life experiences, most of the scenes based on things I have seen in clinical postings. I am not sure whether I got the main character’s emotions right, but I did my best, so I guess that counts. 

[Image ID: A stethoscope with blue tubing, silver diaphragm and black earpieces lying on top of a blurred keyboard, a blue pad to the left of the stethoscope, with a piece of blank paper pinned on it. On the bottom left, the words ‘The beat of a heart...’ are written in red England Hand font. End ID]

I’m tagging my usual writer mutuals and putting the actual short story under a cut.

My taglist: @ambitiousandcunning @medhasree @shaonharryandpannisim @chaanv @arjunaparantapa @hindumyththoughts @spockswhore @ashsnipes​ @annlillyjose​ @seekerbrave​ @avakrahn​ @a-confusedmess​ @arachneofthoughts​ @paneerlajwanti​ @vishnupada​ @bookdragonfanish​ @iamnotthat​ @foreveres​ @shellweed​ @will-die-without-chai​.

She coughs a little, ignoring the rasp in her throat, wishing she could reach for her water bottle, but is impeded by the sheer number of people between her and the bottle in question. She reaches for the hand rub instead, the familiar smell of ethanol almost soothing for a moment. She blinks, turning to the older man sitting across her, the familiar questions on her lips.

‘Can you tell me why you’re here?’ she asks, noting down the man’s anxiety, trying to make her voice sound soothing. That is all the prompting he needs to launch into his long-winded story. She stretches a little, noticing the line of people in front of her, and the students hanging on each of her words standing behind her chair.

She smiles, looking behind her at the students, gesturing subtly for one of them to take over. ‘Make sure to examine him properly,’ she instructs. The student she had instructed nods, her eyes wide. ‘Yes, ma’am,’ the younger girl responds, leading the man to a bed. She can see the couple of students who had bothered to attend all clustered together, their discussion hushed.

She suppresses a grin. They’ll learn. She herself had. And indeed, one of the the students comes forward tentatively, stopping her peer who had been taking the man’s history, and begins the examination.

She turns to her work, leaving the students occupied for now. It’s a familiar battleground of questions and answers, having to rush the patients because of the lack of time. ‘Ma’am?’ it’s a young gentleman. ‘Yes, sir?’ ‘I am sorry,’ he says hesitantly, ‘I don’t understand what you said.’ She nods. Clears her throat, looking wistfully at the bottle that still is too far to reach, and too empty besides. Looking at it only diverts her attention to the humidity the fan is doing little for, the sweat trickling down her back.

She shakes her head. Do not divert your attention. Her colleague shoots her an understanding look, as she explains the prescription once again. He nods, with a quiet ‘thank you.’ She nods back at him as he leaves.

‘Ma’am?’ She turns once more. If nothing else, she muses wryly, choosing medicine has definitely taught me to multitask. The students lead the first man back to her, their clinical skills enthusiastic if a touch inexperienced. One of the girls excitedly details the sound of an ejection click. She smiles, lending the younger girl her own stethoscope. The girl listens in with the man’s permission in quiet absorption, the ritual being repeated by each of her friends, all of them clearly awed.

The gentleman looks amused at the furore the click of his valves, amplified by his metallic pacemaker, has elicited. She corrects them when needed, leading to a response of all heads nodding at once.

As the clock strikes 1, the students ask for leave to disperse and the crowd of patients mercifully thins. She tells them to go and come back for a short class in the evening, finally leaving behind the pursuit of her elusive lunch and the all-important water.

Her lunch in front of her, her thirst finally quenched, she ruffles through her iPad for information to make the class slides for tomorrow’s discussion. All too soon the short break is over, the slides still unfinished, and she stands, following her friends out of the Duty Doctors’ Room to go on ward rounds. Her eyes flit to a notification on her News app, of a doctor being beaten by goons. She sighs. There is no use pondering over this. I can only do my best. She knows protests do little good, so she hardens her heart and strides out, sliding her phone in her pocket.

Somewhere in the middle of the rounds, the students following her and the senior doctor like ducklings following mother duck, one of them comes running to her. ‘Ma’am,’ his voice is high with fear. She gives him her immediate attention. ‘There’s a man on that bed…’ the boy points, ‘…17, he’s…he’s not really breathing.’

Oh, no. Her friend steps up, running to the patient, while she looks for his details, adrenaline sharpening her senses.

He is a new patient, there is next to nothing on his chart. She can hear a lady wailing and she winces. No one should see their loved one in such a situation, she thinks, even as she squares her shoulders, moving towards the bed, shaking her head at her friend, who had already started CPR. She gently moves the lady aside, trying to console her, even when there is fear in her own heart that the news she might have to deliver could be irredeemable.

‘Doctor?’ asks the lady querulously, ‘you’ll save him, won’t you?’ She looks down for a moment, before meeting the lady’s gaze. ‘We will do our best,’ she replies quietly, grave as the situation is. The lady nods, tears still pooling in her eyes.

She can hear her friend panting. Quiet and quick, she swaps her place with him, continuing CPR. He shoots her a grateful look. She turns her attention to the patient. Between the three of them, they manage to get the patient breathing, she notes with relief. That relief doesn’t last long, though, as she looks the patient over. The catheter connected to him, filled with orange urine, the gross ascites and icterus. He’s on Rifampicin. TB with hepatic encephalopathy. One glance at her friend tells her that he, too, is thinking the same.

The lady with the patient…his wife by the sound of it, reads the grave news on their faces, facilitated, perhaps, by her intubated husband’s gasps of breath. She sinks into the bars of the hospital bed for support. She is at a loss for a moment, as she always is when confronted by the inevitability of death. She kneels then, her hand on the lady’s shoulder, silently commiserating.

When she stands, she looks at the downcast yet awed students and forces a smile. ‘Well,’ she says, stopping them as they turn away, towards the exit, clearly assuming that class is cancelled for the day. She has no intention of doing that, though. They need to learn that life doesn’t stop for those of us still hale.

At the sound of her voice, they turn as one, looking at her with eyes comparable in size to dinner dishes. ‘I’ll just wash my hands and come back,’ she says firmly. ‘You guys go wait in the Duty Doctors’ Room for your class.’ They keep staring at her for a few moments. ‘Go on,’ she instructs. They obey, darting reverential glances at her, talking in hushed whispers. How could someone literally save a life and just go back to normal like that? She hears one of their voices, quiet, dazzled. Despite knowing the truth, the innocent fascination in the boy’s face makes her smile.

I don’t know! She hears one of his friends reply. I want to be a doctor like that, when I finish my degree, when we really become doctors, the girl says, making her smile wider. The younger girl sounds like a young child deciding the goal of her life.  

She tamps down the giddy joy and the grief simultaneously warring inside her, long since used to contradictory emotions, keeping a straight face as she strides to the washbasin.

When she enters the Duty room for the class, they’re discussing the exposure she could have had. She smiles wryly for a moment. This kind of exposure is a fact of life, she nearly blurts out, deciding not to, enjoying their impressed approval for a moment, before she clears her throat.

They all look abashed. She decides to proceed as if the moment before had not occurred, which was helped by one of them asking about the man she had done the CPR on. She summarises the case, gives them a few topics to read on and sends them home.

Before leaving the hospital proper, she circulates the wards once more. The CPR patient crashes again. This time, though they try long and hard, the lose the man, the beat of his heart forever silenced.

Her senior takes responsibility of the formalities, telling her to leave. Leave she does, casting one last glance back at the shell of the man, helplessness overtaking her for a moment.

She checks in with her colleague manning the night shift if she is free to go, fighting the uncanny feeling of déjà vu that comes with every patient they lose suddenly, the realisation striking anew that life goes on.

It is a leisurely walk back to hostel, the cool air soothing on her sweat-soaked shirt. She is thinking once more of the next day’s presentation, the number of slides still left to finish off.

After a quick wash-up and dinner, she sits with her iPad. It is nearly midnight when she finishes her work, fighting her drooping eyes. She checks in her WhatsApp, shooting a quick goodnight to her parents. The statues of her medico friends are full of calls for justice against the recent violence. Her non-medico friends are, as usual, conspicuously silent on the matter.

Ah, well, she thinks, it’s not like armchair social media posts can actually do much. Besides, this is not an issue that they face. Why judge? They’re probably thinking the same I do.

 She debates posting a status of her own then decides against it, for again, social media can only do so much. The bitter truth can’t be changed.

Her mother’s voice echoes in her head, what mama had said the last time she had shared news of such violence. At least they didn’t kill him. You people get a lot of respect, you know?

She shakes her head, banishing those thoughts. She doesn’t want to have nightmares. Besides, tomorrow, she has to report for ID duty. She needs to be well rested for that. So she thinks of the awestruck students, the young girl’s voice playing in her head. I want to be a doctor like that, she said, when I finish my degree.

She falls asleep with a smile on her face.

When she is leaving for duty the next morning, she loops her stethoscope along the back of her throat, the diaphragm of the steth sitting firmly over her own beating heart. Time for another day at work.

Some terms that might be unknown:

Ejection Click: In some patients with heart problems, there is some backflow of the blood when the heart contracts. This backflow is heard as a ‘click’ sound when a stethoscope is used. This ‘click’ is amplified if the patient has a prosthetic metallic valve, as in case of the old gentleman in the story who is based on a real patient.

Rifampicin: A drug that is part of the four-drug regimen for Tuberculosis (TB). It increases the effect of another drug in the combination, Isoniazid, which is toxic to the liver. India has a huge number of cases of TB, being one of the TB-endemic countries. The orange urine is one of the most noticeable side-effects of using this drug.

Hepatic encephalopathy: Loss of proper brain function due to inability of liver to remove toxins. The patient on whom CPR was administered was in a coma due to this condition. He, too, was based on a real patient.

Ascites: Swelling of the abdomen due to accumulation of fluid in the abdomen.

Icterus: Yellowing of the sclera  (whites of the eyes) and bulbar conjuctiva, a hallmark of jaundice.

The doctor here makes the diagnosis of TB with drug induced hepatic encephalopathy because of the ascites and icterus combined with the rifampicin usage and the coma. It is an unfortunately common condition here. 

I just noticed that I haven't clarified ID Duty. It means Infectious Diseases ward duty. In this case, I meant COVID-19 duty, though it may not always mean that.

[beautifulterriblequeen]

Impressions from TTM

Spoilers, spoilers everywhere. Just a big bulleted list of thoughts as I read through the graphic novel. Not a lot of detail included, so it’ll make a lot more sense if you’ve already read it yourself!

looks like Moonshadow elves cross the arms of the dead... when they have a body to bury

it’s nice to see that Rayla imagines Runaan with all his shirts, the way she last saw him

kinda looks like Rayla changed into her jammies right on her bed and dumped her clothes on that little table. maybe she’s afraid of letting the few things she actually possesses out of her sight

listen we get one little panel of Opeli in here and it’s great

Soren’s cape smacking Callum in the face, 10/10

Lujanne’s appearance out of nowhere, along with Allen’s is just adorable, she’s so sparkly. And also she can apparently just turn totally invisible with an illusion spell? Even at a new moon? Probably because of the Nexus I guess

Lujanne’s “Big strong man with big strong feelings.” She and Runaan have exactly the same type and I support them

Allen’s face when Lujanne says it aches to miss Phoe-Phoe

Callum eating off Rayla’s plate and wondering how Lujanne suspected they were a couple, hmmm

Soren and Allen bonding

Rayla warning Lujanne about hand disguises, as if that was something Runaan made very sure she knew

Rayla’s cute chaos grin when Callum’s Aspiro spell goes off is my favorite pic of her in this whole graphic novel

Lujanne’s “Oh.” afterward is my fave pic of her, too, she does not seem to handle reality well!

Bait’s tongue will never get old

Lujanne’s whole speech during Phoe-Phoe’s rebirth ritual is so touching and beautiful, my heart

Lujanne putting the newborn Moon Phoenix into Ezran’s hands, like she knows he’ll have the best connection with her

Callum’s tears as he reminds Rayla that Runaan killed Harrow, he’s trying to move on, but it hurts

Rayla’s self-soothing behavior when she has her second nightmare in the book--she must have these most every night :((((

the big symbol on the Moon Temple doors looks like a stylized Moon staff, like it’s a building for mages

Lujanne saying Rayla might not want or need the truth right after Callum mentions Runaan’s name to her, he sassily asks about her husbands and she turns it into a compliment

Callum’s big reaction to the moon opals is adorable. The only other one he’s seen was part of a pair of treasured gifts between long-time spouses, so it kinda looks like he’s all “uhh we just started dating”

also Ethari must’ve made cute metal swirly covers for the pair he and Runaan wore, since these two are undecorated--maybe he got his from Lujanne?

listen Lujanne is a hoot and all but she’s both an ally and an antagonist. Her actions are trustworthy but her advice is generally terrible. It’s an interesting parallel to how Runaan says a lot with his actions too, but he talks a lot less than Lujanne

Rayla yeeting herself into a fight just to ask Soren for a talk is 10/10 Moonshadow assassin goals

but her hood is up when she’s lurking in the trees--she might not have known where she’d find Soren and was anticipating something less fun on the feels-o-meter

Rayla in the mud again. Soren keeps making people fall in the mud

Allen’s grumpy squiggle

Callum, I love you, but you have no respect for moon opals. It’s like they wronged you in a previous life or something

that dancing elf has very long hair and shoulder pauldrons, and they start off dancing with six kneeling, watching, hooded elves around them--Moon Druids wore hoods even before they were assassins. Considering what Lujanne said about why the portal was sometimes opened, maybe those six kneeling elves are waiting under their emotion-hiding hoods to farewell a loved one who’s recently died?

can’t tell for sure but maybe the elf is dancing along the lines in the stone like they mark patterns for ritual dances, which would be the bomb

Soren and Rayla’s conversation is pretty wrenching. Seeing Soren have to struggle with what he did because it’s tangled up with Viren is rough because as a Crownguard it should just have been his duty to defend his king and he’d have nothing to feel weird about

Rayla dissociating herself from the term “assassins” and Soren dissociating from calling Viren “my father” in the same conversation is 10/10 excellent growth

Soren must know what happens to prisoners his dad gets a hold of, even if he doesn’t know the details :(((

“we captured him” and “Viren took him” seem to be talking about the Crownguard and Viren, not the brodigies and Viren

Rayla having a wooden sword at the end of the day bc she played swordfighting with Allen and Soren all day long

the panel where Rayla doesn’t say anything at all after telling Callum that she asked Soren about Runaan actually says so much, you can hear it

every time Lujanne’s white lies idea gets repeated, things get worse

Allen’s reading glasses, there must be one optician in the human village and he caters to soft kindly gentlemen of a certain age

in the moon phase montage, baby Phoe-Phoe is flying next to Ezran after one week at the Nexus. Maybe he’s paying her back by helping her learn to fly after she helped him teach Zym how to fly! Did they bond as tightly as Ezran did with Zym? I support Ezran just bonding with the most powerful flying creatures in all the land.

the irony of Callum using Lujanne’s tactics against her is amazing, but really the white lies thing is a giant ball of chaos in this story and it does not play favorites

Bait on the stone pillar during rebuilding

all the noises the Moonhenge makes are 10/10

Rayla dancing with Callum even though there’s almost no chance she’s ever done that dance before

Lujanne’s pupils going white, that is a cool effect, what’s it mean?

the black moon in the pink sky is so spooky! Is it just me or does the color scheme here kinda vibe like the space outside Aaravos’s library?

the smoky assassin squad, 10/10 creep factor, I love it

the lightning being a literal crack of doom with “CRAK-DOOM” as Katolis Castle appears, “echoes of thunder” indeed, very nice

Lujanne being mad but she can’t decide if it’s at Callum or herself

when she says pulling Rayla out now will leave her soul on one side and her body a husk. After the Insta live stream last night where we learned that soulfang serpents are Moon primal creatures, that’s... super interesting

smoky assassins go tssh in the rain like they’re still hot from being cremated, thanks I hate it

Andromeda finds Rayla first and seems closest/most aggressive so I wonder why she might hate Rayla more than the others

the assassins’ wrist bindings have gone red but they’re still attached and seem to trap the souls where they are. But all they need to be free is to perceive that Rayla completed their task, even though we know otherwise. So... would that work for killing any target? If you’re certain that you did it, does your binding fall off even if you’re wrong? eyes Pip

this must not be the actual afterlife since the spirits kind of mist up toward the moon and vanish, it’s more like a lobby, no one stays here unless they get stuck

portaling around just by shouting at villains, excellent

Rayla literally dropping a sword at the sight of the pod Viren’s in, yeah, it’s that creepy, I agree

Viren’s eyes are so black I think they’re Aaravos’s. I got a whole headcanon on Good Viren and Evil Viren for S4 now, wow

Phoe-Phoe pulling out a feather for Callum, awww my heart! This is why Ezran had to come, to bond with her so together they could save Callum and Rayla, it’s so sweet

so these humans are from the Storm Spire battle, bc that’s the Storm Spire behind Rayla and Callum on p108, with the rune-written arch. Did they die hating Rayla and Callum from the battle? Did they even know Rayla was up there? Or is pod Viren/Aaravos actually making them attack out of hatred for Viren’s death? One of these is definitely creepier and more awesome

Rayla’s confidence that Callum can and will boost her at the right moment with his magic, my heart, I love battle couples

that one panel that mirrors the Ghost Feather key art, hhhhhh

Rayla being the better swimmer, such precious irony, thanks Runaan

them holding hands and swimming upward together on the full-page panel is blessed

Lujanne pulling Rayla out of the lake with both arms gives me feels bc my grandma saved my life once

Lujanne being super soft over Rayllum, she is indeed a hopeless romantic

Rayla says “gone” about her parents and Runaan, and that’s the word Ethari used too, and I’m suddenly wondering if Ethari reached right into that pool and has always known that the lotus is half-submerged and if the sword he’s been making is for himself

I’m so glad Rayla told Callum what she saw of Viren

Rayla deceiving Callum and heading into danger alone because his life is more valuable to her than her own is exactly what Runaan did for her the night of the full moon in Katolis. I’m leaning toward her having thought this over and doing it on purpose bc she believes it’s a sign of deepest love--that Runaan’s actions and Lujanne’s words match up in her head, so she thinks it’s the right thing to do bc the mage and the assassin agree. Alas, Callum doesn’t understand the Moon arcanum yet, so he will have a different opinion. That mage and that assassin do not agree!

Rayla’s cloak has that Moon Temple symbol on its back. Is it Lujanne’s cloak? Any Moonshadow who sees it will probably know where she got it and who helped her. That could be fun!

[snkpolls]

SnK Episode 71 Poll Results (for Manga Readers)

The poll closed with 176 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results for the Manga Readers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll, click here.

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RATE THE EPISODE 172 responses

This week’s episode keeps up the high mark of the previous episodes, with 98.8% of respondents giving the episode a score of 3 or higher (overwhelmingly 4s and 5s). Nice!

It was aight. 

It's cool

8.5/10 

great!

Very rocky imo in terms of animation, as the cracks are beginning to show but overall look like the backgrounds and music choices were top tier.

Really good episode, I was disappointed in the jacket scene but it’s not the end of the world

loved it

It was overall a great episode I loved it. 

🔥🔥🔥

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING MOMENTS WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 174 responses

46.6% of respondents overall were most excited to see Eren meeting up with Floch and the others, with 23.6% of those respondents favoring the scene of Eren putting on his jacket specifically. 12.1% most enjoyed seeing the angry citizens shouting out the Survey Corps motto. 9.8% were thrilled to see Zackley’s death animated. 8% were psyched to see Pieck in disguise at the end, and 6.9% most enjoyed the moment where Hitch caught Armin red-handed trying to touch Annie’s crystal.

YOUR REACTION TO EREN PUTTING ON HIS JACKET? 171 responses

Eren putting on his jacket was a scene many obsessed over when it first appeared on page and many looked forward to seeing it animated. Most of the response choices were focused on various forms of swooning over Eren and his abs. Some (13.5%) stated that they didn’t really understand the dramatism and some others (another 13.5%) simply stated that they did not see much in Eren outright. We’ve gotten a lot of write-ins about comparisons to the pre-animated trailer shot of said scene. More on that in a later question. 

i mean i understand the thirst, but eh

Prefer manga :/

The trailer did it better 

Meh. Better in the trailer and the manga.

TF was that? Well it's still good in its own way. 

YES! YES! YES! YES! Y E S! 

both "HOOOOOLYYYYYY 😳" and "so dramatic and for what?"

Trailer/Manga shot was way better

Manga shot/trailer version are way better. Dissapointed

Trailer looked better :(

Mappa only made Reiner thicc, why Eren is so frain he has 1,85! He is so strong in the manga

I don't care

Manbun.........👀

He can have my babies anytime 😌💅🏻

Not as sexy as advertised; that’s okay, though.

That scene looked weird af ngl. It looked better in the trailer 😔

Me after THAT eren scene: 🤰🏻🤰🏻🤰🏻

Eren makes my dick rise

ON A SCALE OF 1-5, HOW HAPPY ARE YOU NOW THAT WE APPEAR TO BE GOING BACK TO LEVI AND ZEKE’S PERSPECTIVE NEXT WEEK FOR A BIT? 171 responses

Levi and Zeke’s chemistry has been the subject of praise for many, so it’s no wonder that 87.1% of respondents are rather excited to get back to seeing Levi and Zeke again. Wow!

ARE ARMIN’S FEELINGS FOR ANNIE GENUINELY HIS OWN? 173 responses

Armin’s feelings for Annie have been looked at under a microscope for a variety of reasons, which is why we’re asking if you believe that his feelings for her are genuine. A plurality, 49.1% think that they’re a mixture of his feelings for her, as well Bertolt’s. Slightly less (30.6%) believe that Armin’s feelings for her existed since before any of the recent developments. Only a select few believe that he either became interested in her post-timeskip or that his feelings are solely influenced by Bertolt. One person doesn’t think Armin has any feelings for Annie at all. And a few others just don’t care.

Bertmin simping for Annie and that apparently being enough for her to start considering him as boyfriend material is the fucking worst. I hate this shit. It's made me like both characters considerably less.

Uhh Armin where ya reaching?! 

He was interested with her even before it was revealed she was the Female Titan and now that he has Bertholdt's memories, he sympathizes with her too and wants to understand her more so maybe Bert's memories intensified his feelings

His feelings for Annie are mostly his own. Bert's feelings might be in there a little, but the feelings are still Armin's.

CONTINUITY ALERT! EREN HAS HIS HAIR UP IN A BUN IN YELENA’S FLASHBACK. THOUGHTS? 173 responses

Uh-oh, Eren’s hairstyle moment. It would appear that there might be a continuity error with Yelena’s flashback and whatever that means for the timeline. A slight plurality (37%) didn’t seem to care about this, actually. But 33.5% appeared to believe that it was a mistake on MAPPA’s part that might get fixed in the BluRay version of the episode. 16.8% also believe that it was a mistake, but don’t believe it’ll get fixed. 9.8% think that it’s actually a retcon and that Eren’ll have the man bun when Chapter 123 gets adapted in Final Season Part 2.  

I hope it gets fixed because it's bugging me.

I really wish it was like how it was in the manga. Eren looks good with his hair down in his 16-17-year-old phase. Despite the error, it wasn't a deal breaker for the episode.

He looks totally gorgeous with his hair up in a bun, please let this mistake be

Honestly I don’t mind it. It looks great either way.

Eren in a manbun is a total win for me!

WHICH PIECES OF INFORMATION MISSING FROM YELENA’S ADMISSION IN THE MANGA DO YOU WISH WOULD HAVE BEEN INCLUDED IN THE ADAPTATION? 163 responses

As with almost all dialogue-heavy chapters in this series, there are cuts. In this episode, these cuts mostly affected the conversation between Yelena and Pixis. The most yearned for cut material was Yelena never telling Eren to go along with the plan and Yelena saying that she used Floch as a “go-between” between her and Eren. Others also noted missing lines about Yelena wanting Eren to stand up for himself, Yelena stating that Zeke gave the volunteers a hopeful future and the idea that her and Eren came to quick agreement. The plurality (31.9%) however, didn’t seem to mind any cuts. 

WHAT ARE YOU OVERALL FEELINGS ABOUT SOME OR ALL OF THE AFOREMENTIONED DETAILS BEING CUT? 161 responses

There is often a sort of expectation to have everything (or almost every) line from the manga adapted in the anime, so it’s interesting to see how people react to that sort of stuff. An almost 50% of respondents stated that they didn’t really care about the cuts, whereas smaller handfuls of respondents stated that the cuts either took away from the characterization of the conversation, or from the context and timeline-building purposes. 

I'm not thrilled about the cuts, but I understand MAPPA can only fit so much in on each episode, so I'm okay with it

the yelena/volunteers plot has always been wonky and hard to follow

I don’t think it’s a problem, they need to cut certain things. 

i literally never notice but i agree that it makes it harder to piece things together 

Meh

It might seem for anime watchers that Yelena didnt do much, and Floch and Zeke that did the most part, in their own plans. Floch to betray and Zeke in predicting Eren wouldnt be on his side in some way. Yelena helped Zeke a lot to where he arrived in the rumbling 

All of the above

ZACKLEY WALKS OVER TO HIS TORTURE MACHINE IN THE ANIME BEFORE MIKASA ASKS WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO EREN, RATHER THAN GLANCE OVER AT IT AFTER HER QUESTION. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE CHANGE? 170 responses

There was a partially comedic insinuation in the manga that Zackley thought about strapping Eren to his “art piece”. The insinuation is possibly still there in the anime, but in a different form. So we asked how you felt about it. Slightly below a half (48.8%) stated that they thought the subtlety was still there. 18.8% thought the subtlety was lost with the small change and 8.8% believed the change made Zackley seem less unhinged. 21.8% really didn’t care at all. 

Why is this a question?

The glance was funny as fuck in the manga, but might have been awkward to pull of in the animation

They're blown up tho, does it even matter?

DID EREN KNOW ABOUT THE BOMB? 170 responses

Whether Eren truly knew about the bomb is a bit unclear to this day and with how it endangered Armin and Mikasa. A plurality (40%) believe he knew about the bomb, but did not know about his childhood friends meeting Zackley. Slightly less (30.6%) think that Eren did not know about either the bomb or AM meeting the Artist. A minority (7.1%) does believe that Eren knew about both the bomb and meeting and 21.8% simply aren’t sure!

Even if he didn’t know, he obviously doesn’t care either way.

THERE IS SOME DEBATE ABOUT WHETHER EREN’S JACKET SCENE WAS BETTER ANIMATED IN THE PROMOTIONAL VIDEO OR IN THE EPISODE ITSELF. WHICH DO YOU CHOOSE? 170 responses

Here we go… The elephant in the room… Which Eren abs scene did you prefer? The Promotional video or the actual episode? A somewhat slight majority (57.1%) seemed to like the version seen in the promotional video more than the episode itself versus the ones who preferred the episode’s style (42.9%).

THE EPISODE MARKS THE BEGINNING OF FLOCH’S ACTIONS AS THE VOICE OF THE YEAGERISTS. HOW ARE YOU FEELING ABOUT IT? 170 responses

Floch has always been a controversial character and the developments seen post-time skip have not been any less debatable. You may floching love him or floching hate, but he’s here and he’s staying for a while. A plurality (48.8%) notes that although they may not personally be a fan of the character, they truly do appreciate the nuance his appearance gives to the story. Just over a quarter (25.3%) stated that as big fans of the character, they’re looking forward to all the screentime the Flochster will receive. In contrast, 20.6% despise the man and his questionable haircut and are also dreading the showcase he’ll soon receive.  

I hate Floch and will cheer again when he dies, but I enjoy his character.

I detest Floch but I'm not dreading all the screen time he'll take up.

Since he died in the manga, my hatred for him has cooled down somewhat now that I'm watching the anime.

I am once again asking for you to shut the fuck up, Floch.

WE KNOW NOW THAT EREN DID CONSPIRE WITH FLOCH TO BETRAY ZEKE TO ENACT THE RUMBLING. STILL, DO YOU BELIEVE HE DID IT BECAUSE HE HAS THE SAME BELIEFS AS FLOCH, OR WAS HE JUST USING FLOCH AND THE YEAGERISTS AS A MEANS TO AN END? 161 responses

An overwhelming amount of respondents (87.6%) stated that they believe Eren never truly saw eye to eye with Floch and his ideology and that Eren was simply using Floch as a means to an end. In contrast, 9.3% truly do think that Eren was ideologically similar to Floch and the “New Eldian Empire”. A select few thought you couldn’t just say one way or another. 

They both wanted to protect Paradis

DO YOU THINK IF THE YEAGERISTS, BESIDES FLOCH, KNEW ABOUT THE FULL SCALE RUMBLING BEFOREHAND THAT THEY WOULD WILLINGLY FOLLOW EREN? 167 responses

The majority (53.3%) feel that the Yeagerists would see a divide if they knew beforehand that Eren wanted to initiate the rumbling, with some sticking around for the cause and others possibly leaving because it’s too extreme. 25.1% believe that they all would have fully supported the rumbling in the name of their own survival. 15% believe that every Yeagerist already knew about the plan to commence the rumbling, and only 6% feel that they would most certainly have betrayed the Yeager brothers (and Floch) if they had known. 

I don’t know, this is a loaded question and I’m tired.

DO YOU THINK THAT, IF THE STORY ENDS PEACEFULLY, MIKASA WILL HAVE A ROLE TO PLAY IN HIZURU? 170 responses

While this plotline may not be going anywhere in the manga (or so it seems), the reminder of its existence is brought to light again as we revisit these older moments from the manga. 32.4% feel that Mikasa wouldn’t leave Paradis behind to start a life on Hizuru. 23.5% think that she wouldn’t leave Paradis behind, necessarily, but will still have a role to play in Hizuru. 21.2% think it doesn’t matter because Isayama has completely discarded (or forgotten) about this plotline. 12.4% don’t know what to predict (if anything) and only 8.2% believe that her future lies in Hizuru beyond the main storyline.

The last two options plus me not caring. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

hizuru is already rumbled, gone, but she will continue the azumabito clan in paradis

Is no one else gonna question Kiyomi's hair being sucked into her skull??? HELLO MA'AM???

Hizuru is likely flattened

WHICH SCENE FROM THE PREVIEW ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? 171 responses

Episode 72 has already broadcasted as of the completion of this poll. For scenes that were most anticipated, 35.7% were most looking forward to seeing Levi and Zeke’s interaction in the forest. 33.3% most looked forward to Niccolo leaning straight from Gabi’s mouth that she is Sasha’s killer. 18.7% highly anticipated the Blouses learning about Gabi killing Sasha, and 9.4% were looking forward to Gabi/Falco and the Blouses gathering at Niccolo’s restaurant. Only a small amount were looking forward to Niccolo protecting Jean and Connie from drinking the wine.

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

Man the animation was gonky 

no levi </3

So many faces of Niles are weirds !

Let hange aloneeeeeeee and happy, please

I have no word for this, but I feeling good

Shit is getting really real now! 

Everyone talking about Eren’s abs and I just wanna say the music in that scene was amazing!

I loved how it was all neatly put together and fast moving

Armin looked so good. Homie walked from point A to B and i SCREAMED. Thank you. 

i wish they included eren's warhammer escape from the prison, besides that solid episode all around, the people chanting 'dedicate your hearts' gave me chills 

I can't stand Hitch at all but MAPPA made her really pretty. Re: The jacket scene The trailer version was pretty much identical to the manga panel. But I liked the version that made it into the final episode too. People have been so ridiculous about MAPPA ""ruining everything"" this season, they should stop watching if that's how they feel. I thought Eren looked great and found the sun shining on his abs funny. The scenery was better in the episode, imo. I hope they don't cut Jean's line about booze not caring about what race you are. Lmao

Meh. It's not bad of course, I just find the rythm weird and I don't really feel many emotions watching the episodes. And I was so thirsty for the jacket scene, and it turned out weird too.

Mappa pls stop drawing eren like shit he is gorgeous in the manga

MMGH SOON!! LET'S GOOOOOOO

You friccin moron, you just got zooked!

i miss eremin </3

Wish they had shown how eren used his titan powers to escape.

I'm so not looking forward to the controversy that's gonna be reignited during the EMA talk scene. I'm actually dreading it, but we'll finally get the Levi vs Beast Titan scene so I'll be fine

112 will destroy ships 

I felt the animation was flawless as usual but the script was kinda boring, I expected more of these aspects: -Yelena, it was bland with the cuts -Hange, they cut something I cant figure what in this Yeagerists coup act that turned her scenes a little bit lacking? Idk something -Again the soundtrack in the episodes is so silent. The only episode so far I liked the ost beyond the Opening and Closing themes is Reiner episode. I miss the melodrama of Witstudio osts

Eren putting his jacket on in slow-speed whilst talking at regular speed is fucking trippy

Just happy to see Hitch!

It was slow and mainly plot driven. I enjoyed it despite the changes.

goddamn is that a hella well-animated explosion

more abs please

Great episode. Really ridiculous how many people overreacted about the jacket scene. It's ok to perfer the way the trailer did it but to those who say Mappa is ruining the adaptation because of minor things like this, calm down. 

I wish the jacket scene was better But over all the ep is pretty good

Boring, but then again so was this phase in the manga.

I really like the VA they chose for Onyankopon! His voice is very warm and genuine, which suits his character well

The sunset was so aesthetically pleasing 

yoooo just read ch. 138 and im crying in da club :(

These MAPPA episodes have been a low point for me. I’m trying to enjoy them because I love this story but it feels like a chore.

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 161 responses

Thanks again to everyone who participated!