#like /i/ was a kid who made bad fanfiction and i think people (mostly kids) who make 'bad' fanfiction should be encouraged and not belittle
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i wonder if there's a 'bad' fanfiction discord server out there? im just such a fan of subjectively or even objectively 'bad' fanfiction with 'bad' ranging from anything like it can be poorly written it could be a complete self insert power fantasy it could be a everybody falls in love with the oc fanfic it could be anything that classifies as 'bad' fanfiction and it'll mean everything to me
#i dont like making fun of it either i genuinely just love consuming it. it's entertaining because its so endearing#like /i/ was a kid who made bad fanfiction and i think people (mostly kids) who make 'bad' fanfiction should be encouraged and not belittle#someone could write the most ''cringy'' fic in the world and i would love that shit
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KND Community Challenge
1: when did you start watching the show?
I think it was near the end of 2023? I was introduced to the fandom by one of the comics that @fallen-gabrielle posted. I was a fan of old fashioned cartoons already and loved the unique art style! A few comics and several episodes later, I was hooked!
2: favorite season?
I haven’t watched trough the entire series yet(Currently on season 3). But Iike season three for all the new characters introduced!
3: favorite episode?
T.U.R.N.I.P.
T.H.E.-F.L.Y.
Q.U.I.E.T.
G.R.O.W.-U.P.
D.O.G.F.I.G.H.T.
F.U.T.U.R.E.
U.T.O.P.I.A.
4: hated episode?
P.I.N.K.E.Y.E. (ick)
5: favorite character?
Favorite character(s)!
Rachel(I often feel her ‘I have been everyone’s councilor at this point and I am tired of people’ feeling. Is this an INFJ thing?),
Hoagie(He reminds me of my cousin + we have the shared love for bad puns & dad jokes!),
Abby(Cool!),
Sally Sanban(I am obsessed with her for some reason),
Nigel’s grandson(Same reason with Sally. Dunno why),
6: did you cry when you watch OP INTERVIEWS?
I didn't cry but It felt quite bitter sweet. I’m the sort of person who watches the end before finishing a series. So I kind of scrolled through the entire wiki and watched I.N.T.E.R.V.I.E.W.S. before actually watching the C:KND. It is an inevitable fate for all kids to grow up to grow old and gray at some point. But I have never seen characters grown up in a cartoon before. The whole episode made KND hit a bit too close to home to me.
Ironically the episode that made me upset the most ended up being one of the reasons that I like about the KND.
You will grow up
But you will never grow out of some things
7: funniest moment?
Wally saying “C’mon she already has every single rainbow monkey there is!”
And then watching in horror as the rainbow monkey aircraft coming into view before saying;
“Oh yeah, except that one.”
8: saddest moment?
Abby giving up in Operation M.A.U.R.I.C.E. after facing that every one she knows and loves in the KND will turn into teens & forget about her eventually.
9: favorite KND artist?
Again, can’t pick just one! This is going to be long so the list of artists and why I like them are listed below
10: favorite canon KND ship?
3x4 and 2x5
11: favorite headcanon KND ship?
Ummm... can’t choose! Straight, Gay, Lesbian, Pan, Poly, Platonic I love & have them all!
I have a lot of different head cannons for different scenarios.
But the ones in my fanfiction are currently 1x362, 60x86, 2xAce(the kid), 83x84, 23x35
12: what's one thing you love about the fandom?
The thousands of fan theories, fan fiction with their own interesting head cannons, multiple aus and crossovers, and of course the beautiful fanart with unique art styles!
13: what's one thing you hate about the fandom?
Those weird pedo & insest shippers that keep spawning out of nowhere
14: do you wish there were more die hard KND fans in the fandom?
YES. A thousand times YES.
15: when did you start drawing KND art?
Near the start of May 2024 and have been drawing almost daily ever since! But It’s mostly animation plans and sketches so I don’t post often nowadays
:P
16: how old were you when you started drawing KND art?
Hm, will answer that on my birthday.
17: how old are you now and are you still drawing KND art?
Same with the answer above! I will answer on my birthday
18: what's one thing you wish would stop in the fandom?
The pedo & insest ships, art thefts, rude requests and just disrespecting other people.
19: quick pick your favorite 2×4?
M.A.R.B.L.E.(Mustardy Armament Releases Big Loud Explosion) and
G.A.R.G.O.C.Y.C.L.E.(Granite Augmented Rocket Glider Outstandingly Creates Your Cool Looking Escape)!
20: what's your Codename?
Numbuh 9.24!
(KND Community Challenge Template Credits To @arudan)
+Answer to question number 9
@fallen-gabrielle: The one who brought me into the fandom + has a lot of lovely AUs!
@midnight-the-goth-artist: Satisfies my inner goth, has helluva boss inspired art
@gen-toon: Beautiful angles & poses
@numbuh02: The scratchy art style!
@artsygirl0315: Her OCs remind me of ENA! And they interact with the fandom often
@elijaheldridge: FLOOF EVERY WHERE
@mixxxerlyishere: OC with a unique design!
@scarlett-v-the-fox: The head cannons for minor KND characters are really intricate
@bluccoli: Rare fellow Korean KND artist & takes a lot of requests!
@gettan49: Still reading ‘Operation: BEYOND’ it’s a really well made fanfiction
@parasite-doll: Always love the creepy art style
@mixx0: The sillies (OCs)
@kandykatz: Uses the tumblr aesthetics to it’s full extent + draws hair really well!
@bluepastels29: Insane attention to detail to her cloth designs
@numbuh900: G:KND OCs!
@numbuh-72: Great at KND edits! It looks like a part of the show if I don’t look closely
@ohlookanothercartoontofallinto: Lineless art. LINELESS ART.
@kndrules: Sector V as grown-up comics!
@sok-knd: Uses brushes really well & has a lot of different art styles
@kukiiisblog: 3x4 art in webtoon + old cartoon style
@numbuhinfinitys: Reyna and their cute shenanigans with the delightful children
@your-genious-artistic-girl: I dunno how she makes line arts that clear! Mine are always squiggley
@pennywhistle2021: Numbuh 30c art! Most of the fan art of 30c that I find on deviant art is theirs
@knd1234isme: Numbuh 4 in every form possible
@torra-and-the-toons: Has really specific Nigel head cannons + old cartoons!
@spicedwatermel0n: Not picky with ships & is understanding with others
@kidsnextdoor-doodles: Moonbabies :)
@pinkmeanschaos: KND genderbend everything! And a fellow 60 x 86 shipper
@bugtoonz: Pastel art! Their art is always easy on the eyes
@rubiisun: The art style always gives me a fluffy feeling
@kommandonuovidiavoli: Everyones favorite grandma :) Penny’s chaotic nature always tickles me
@rainbowbeam231: Uses colors really well with her OCs!
@totallynoteggos: Unique concept with making the (Y/N) self insert as and OC!
@some-loozzr: Good with lighting! + The spank-happy sector V members look so scrappy I love them
#knd#codename knd#cknd#kids next door#codename knd fandom#codename kids next door#knd community#community challenge
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dawg, lemme tell you somethin, I LOVE your writing style so far and I want more SO BAD !! I’ve been stuck by myself in the “I’ve been an arcana fan since release but now it’s like dead” hole, so I’ve been absolutely starving for content. Your headcanons are such a great length and so descriptive, each one feels like I’m reading a whole fanfiction, and it’s a real treat. I cant wait for more !! 🥺🥺 If I ever get around to scribbling some stories based on your thoughts, I am tagged u on SIGHT.
I’ve never requested headcanons before but what about m6 with an mc who walks with a cane?
The Arcana HCs: M6 with an MC who walks with a cane
~ thank you for the positive feedback @taduki ! I'm so happy when I find out my ramblings bring people joy. I have a few friends who use canes regularly, but I don't have any personal experience. I'm basing this off of the little bit of research I did and the experiences I've heard about, so if I make any mistakes please let me know so I can correct them ~
Julian
He thinks it's hot
He's a doctor, he's familiar with mobility aids and the many reasons someone may need/want to use one
Dude literally had three years of experience as an apprentice under Nazali in active warzones amputating limbs
He's the type of guy who loves learning new things, so once you're comfortable going into detail about your condition to him he will have so many questions
And then he's going to go do research about it
And then he's going to come back with even more questions
But mostly he just thinks it's hot, canes just have so much dramatic potential
Can you keep a sword in it? Can you use it like a club? You would make such a good pirate with him
Once you explain that it's actually easier to use if it's lightweight and easy to store he'll stop suggesting modifications
But if you have it with you while you're out and you don't feel like using it he'll keep it hooked over his arm or clenched in his fist because deep down he's a theatre kid
Asra
However much they knew about mobility aids before the Red Plague, they learned everything they could after you woke up
He's so tuned in to you he can tell at a glance what kind of day you're having and will act accordingly
When they were reteaching you magic some of the first spells they taught you were what they remembered you using to help with your disability
He has definitely enchanted your cane before, mostly with your permission
One of the useful ones was a shrinking/growing rune so you could keep it in your pocket
Less useful was when one of your customers made a rude comment about you not moving as fast as they wanted you to around the shop
So they enchanted it to trip them on sight
He forgot to tell you, you didn't find out until the rude customer came back on a day you weren't using it and you watched your cane fly across the room to thwack them across the shins
They're not allowed to touch your cane without your permission anymore
Nadia
The evening she first arrived in your shop you weren't using it so she didn't notice it until you arrived at the palace the next evening
When she realized she had been getting annoyed at you for being late, only to see you walk in with a mobility aid, she felt awful
It was also a wake up call realizing how many stairs you had to climb just to get to the front doors of the palace
She doesn't want to pry or burden you, but she's also deeply committed to providing for your every need, and there's a day or two of her waffling back and forth between pumping you for information and pretending there's nothing unusual afoot
Once you open up about it she's very invested
Every outfit she gifts you comes with a high quality cane, beautifully painted to match
After everything's done with the Devil and she's reworking Vesuvia's infrastructure she is definitely taking accessibility into account
She's not going to burden you with her education or assume you're an archetype, but she makes sure you know that your input is more than welcome on any and all of her plans
Muriel
That trip with Morga was hell on your body
You spent weeks riding and walking for hours with minimal rest, trying to learn physical self-defense tactics at the same time
He may be gruff but he's not cruel, he was offering to carry your bags (or you) by the third day in
Seeing how patient you were with both Morga and yourself was one of the things that convinced him to open up to you and trust you
He prefers speaking with actions more than words
One of the first gifts he gave you was a beautifully crafted cane, lightweight and incredibly durable, with the story of your journey together carved into it
He also customized it to work with you perfectly, because he knows better than anyone what a body in discomfort moves like and he's memorized all of your tells
When you move into his hut with him he makes trails through the woods for you so you don't have to worry about uneven ground or roots or loose stones
He is also very happy to carry you around if you ask him to (he will blush the whole time though)
Portia
It's cannon that the first time you meet she out walks you across Vesuvia
It takes her a little while to adjust her assumptions
Not because she thinks badly of anyone who uses a mobility aid, but because it's her job to be on her feet all day long and the concept of having difficulty doing that is totally new to her
There are definitely a few moments when she bounds up the stairs two at a time, only to wait awkwardly at the top silently berating herself for not paying closer attention
The first time she matches her pace to yours on a slower day for you her whole worldview shifts
Being the type to power-walk everywhere, this is the first time she's been able to notice all these beautiful details around her
Was that painting always there? The fabric on those curtains is gorgeous!
Now it's one of her favorite things about who she becomes around you
She will (and does) throw hands with anyone who makes a disparaging comment about you moving too slowly
Pepi tried to jump up onto your cane once when it was propped up against a table and made the biggest crash when she fell
Lucio
Ooh, nice accessory, he's got one too!
It should be shinier though. Don't worry, he'll fix that for you as soon as he's no longer an incorporeal goatman
He has no filter between his brain and his mouth, he is bombarding you with questions. Why do you use it? Were you in a particularly nasty fight?
For once he's not being remotely judgemental (except about the fashion sense involved), dude has an entire missing limb
Sometimes he'll reminisce about what it was like before he got the alchemical prosthetic he has now, and will ask you if you have any ideas for your cane
He is very happy to carry things for you and often suggests you use his golden arm to lean on instead
He says it's more fashionable this way, but really it's a point of common ground for him and he likes having you close and being dependable
If you let him he will absolutely buy a pair of matching canes for the two of you, yours to help you move around and his to make grand sweeping gestures with
#ask arcana brainrot#the arcana headcanons#the arcana hc#asra the arcana#julian the arcana#nadia the arcana#muriel the arcana#portia the arcana#lucio the arcana#the arcana#the arcana shitpost#asra alnazar#julian devorak#nadia satrinava#portia devorak#muriel of the kokhuri#lucio morgasson
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My pjo hottakes as someone who hasn't seen the new series yet.
1. It's okay to like the movies. As someone who read the books and religiously took fan-made quotev quizzes to find out my Godly parent and Camp halfblood life in middleschool, I still LOVED the movies (mostly the first one, rather than sea of monsters) when I was younger. Did the acting suck? By majority, absolutely. Annabeth specifically very poorly done in the movies? Oh my God, yes. But that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with liking the films, even with their story inaccuracies.
2. Who they cast for Annabeth for the show was a good choice for her character. I've seen clips, and I actually really like it so far. That being said, people can think other people would've been better for whatever role. Personally, I don't like who they have cast as Percy. And that's an opinion that's fine to have. I admit, it's probably just because blonde elementary schoolers freak me out. I will not elaborate on why.
3. Logan Lerman didn't do a bad job as Percy in the movies. Could it have been better? Yes. But he still did good for someone who hadn't read the books.
4. Who they have cast as Mr. D in the new series is TOP. TEIR. I live for most of the casting, seriously. Jason Mantzoukas was the best possible pick for Dionysus, you cannot prove me wrong.
5. They made Gabe too nice in the series. I know it's for kids, and it's directed to the new fans rather than old ones, but still. I feel like it could've been executed a little closer to the original dynamic.
6. Uncle Rick knows what's best for HIS story and his series. It's okay to have opinions about things, but he isn't wrong for any of the decisions he's made for the series. It's his direction and his vision for the world he created, and as fans, we're lucky to have more PJO content at all. Most childhood Fandoms don't continue to grow with you, and instead get lost to nostalgia and weird fanfiction.
7. Percabeth is a cute ship, and it's cute in cannon, but I can't un-know that they're related.
#percy jackson#pjo#pjo series#percy jackon and the olympians#hot take#percy jackson books#rick riordan#uncle rick
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(At the time of writing I intend for this to be my final post on the matter — asks on this topic are welcome if anyone needs to vent, but I do not expect to post them.)
It does make me sad how few people are willing to entertain the idea of canon compliant happy futures for Thomas, Richard, and Guy as Characters, irrespective of shipping.
I remember leaving the movie like "I don't think I'll even feel the need to write fanfic about this" — it was clear to me that there had been a conscious effort among the production team to give fairy tale endings to as many characters as possible, and I was mostly satisfied with that as a conclusion. Some of it was cliche—but the cliche helped clarify authorial intent for me as, this film is meant to be a Downton Abbey happily ever after.
Combined with The Gilded Age, I was confident that JF was trying to explore a broad range of historical gay experiences across his works, and the decisions made in ANE enhanced my interpretation of TGA and vice versa. I don't necessarily care deeply about authorial intent on the whole, but to me, it was just super clear that anything I was personally disappointed by was a good faith artistic decision toward that cliche happy closure element of the film, and it was so special to me that Thomas was finally included in an unambiguously happy Downton Abbey ending.
Given how cliche it was for every character, I assumed anyone who was disappointed like me would also see that.
Then as soon as I woke up the next morning I wrote and published fanfic. Like fewer than 11 hours had passed!! And it was fanfic about Richard Ellis!!! Because I was disappointed, and so I wanted to explore his side of the story Immediately, but I was also so so so excited to reorient my interpretation of him based on new canon and create new fan content, both canon compliant and not—I saw absolutely no reason not to because clearly Thomas was going to be happy without him soon and there were so many possibilities.
Like, oh my God, Thomas's type really was actors all along, and how is Richard, guy who speaks with imagery and does impressions and likes mischief and is clearly in my mind an 1890s theatre kid, now his former lover who is married or about to be, going to react to seeing Thomas in a movie with a movie star he probably knows everything about already????? And I was so eager to play with that, and I also knew I'd probably be writing some crying-with-ice-cream style canon divergent fanfiction so I could get my emotions out about my ship not being canon anymore and people who were disappointed could have what they would perceive as fix it fic, and obviously I had tons of old stuff to finish that just was never going to be compliant, and obviously the new AU potential was through the roof because I had a brand new Guy 😌 who fit in perfectly, and I was pretty confident that at some point I would get around to writing post-canon, canon compliant stuff in a brand new all American playground, too. But baby steps.
And then what actually happened was a bizarre schism where there appeared to be little if any tolerance for still caring about that guy (general noun) while also liking new guy (proper noun), & this lack of tolerance manifested in frankly very shocking and upsetting ways, so instead of even trying to do what I wanted, I blacklisted everything and intentionally stayed out of it until it became personal, at which point it turned into what literally might be the most bad faith fandom experience I have ever had in my life.
We could have had it all, etc!
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I really don't get the X-Men fandom: For people who claim to be all about inclusivity and "seeing people beyond their label" they are the most close minded folks I've met and can only think about labels.
Like when I think about Magneto, I perfectly understand where he's coming from but I can clearly see that his mentality and the execution of his ideology are both extreme and sometimes just evil which makes his redemption arc all the more satisfying and well earned. But no the fans and the writers go as far as to say "Magneto was/is actually always right and what he was doing back then was always the right thing and perfectly planned to help mutants".
Emma Frost was very evil at the start and she didn't care much about mutants or people other than herself. She had reasons for doing so and they made sense. Many many things happened which changed her overtime and ended with her finding herself back to doing something she initially liked: Teaching. But no the fandom and the writers both go "Actually Emma was always a mutant ally and X-Men at heart, was really constantly looking out for her people and everything she did was to help mutants and others".
If you were to say you'd never side with Mystique and Destiny, the first thing the fandom will do is call you homophobic then block you and spread the word around that you're anti LGBT. This tells you that the fandom really only views these two for the shipping and their sexuality aka as labels instead of the bigger scope which is that these two are SELFISH TERRORISTS AND BACKSTABBING CONSPIRATORS AGAINST THEIR OWN PEOPLE WHO HAVE CREATED DYSTOPIAN FUTURES THROUGH THEIR OWN SHORTSIGHTED BUFFOONERY
The X-Men franchise got so boring when the story and writers began sharing the same lackluster and surface level analysis pov as the fandom
Magneto is mostly right, sometimes the writers just decide to make him come up with plans that will either harm humans or ones that target humans who aren't even anti mutant its very odd. Mostly because they want to write him as an extremist but they don't want you to sympathise with him too much. Whilst I don't like it I also think it is kinda hard to write him as a villain so I guess I understand why they do it?
Emma was literally part of the Hellfire Club they had ties to the Sentinel Program and engaged in anti mutant acts LOL. She was evil, she redeemed herself later but they devalue that arc by saying she was always good.
Don't get me started on Mystique its like if Magneto is written like "he has a point but lets make him do something evil so people don't root for him" Mystique is written like "lets make her do something so evil and then later pretend she has a point to try and get people to root for her"
And I hate it, I get that she's a shapeshifter so they want to do stories about her manipulating people and switching sides but I don't get why they can't do that AND have her be some type of pro mutant extremist. I much prefer the idea of Mystique being like akin to a Black Panther party member being a fugitive but still fighting to free Mutants and defend them and that getting extreme a lot of the time, thats the type of conflict I want to see with her and her kids. And writing her like that at least makes it more logical why the X-men would ally with her at times not a bad person at the core but just does some villainous things for good reasons. You're definitely right about how people call you homophobic if you don't like her or transphobic despite the fact she is not a trans character officially and she is bi.
Not even gonna comment on Destiny as I just find her like this character a lot of comic fans pretend to like more than they actually do lmao.
I definitely agree with you that the X-men books became really boring once the writers started to have the same surface level reading of the books as the fandom and then basically wrote fanfiction, its like why even bother when you can find this stuff online for free
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im sorry you had to go through that in ur fics. i think people self-insert onto sirius so bad they take personal offense to people who do him differently, despite that being a natural part of reading anything. i read through ur blog and i realized that there's really no winning in this fandom unless u like a certain kind of characterization that is atyd-inspired, but not even atyd-accurate. from a remus bias perspective, that mostly interacts w the fandom via ao3 fics, it feels the same way u feel abt sirius: like people hate him and want to punish him. i started thinking abt how some fics would be read from a sirius bias perspective (i love him too, after all) and i realized it was the same way lmao. nobody wins. i hope you either find an enjoyable niche or a better fandom, and that today's trends will fizzle out ♥
I have always had an unhealthy obsession with Remus as a person who is chronically ill and disabled. I had a pretty sheltered childhood and struggled with making friends. I was awkward and weird as a kid. So naturally, I relate to canon Remus to my very SOUL and it has been genuinely painful to watch him slip further and further away. I don't even read fanfiction anymore unless I know and trust the author because at this point, Remus is just an OC based on another OC in nearly every fanfiction, even the ones that try to claim to be a canon compliant character study of Remus Lupin.
And Sirius is often just... there. As the love interest for this OC that shares Remus' name and that's pretty much it. He is made small and weak, a damsel in distress for the big strong alpha male to protect and dominate.
And you're right, the funniest part about all of this is that ATYD wasn't even THAT bad. It was a snowball effect where readers flocked to the fandom with 0 knowledge of the marauders, claimed the atyd OC Remus as canon, and then twisted Sirius into this unrecognizable shell of a character, stripped of all of his depth and masculinity and power, because it made fetishizing Remus easier by using Sirius as a shallow self-insert.
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thinking about when i genuinely would cry tears thinking about harry potter listening to my bedtime cd my dad made for me at age 7. that was so moving to me. listening to the song which was track 7 which one the one that made me think about this. i can envision it again. this really might be the seed and root of my mauraders vitriol. in that i was essentially imagining edits of harry potter in my head as a child. if i really do rid myself of a phone i have to go through and scribe my entire notes app down. jesus christ i can remember exactly what about my envisioned harry potter edits (which were also rather christianised? a la my childhood? it didn’t occur to me until just now that harry potter is not explicitly a christian man). like in my head i imagine him with lupin (which. also extremely moving to me as a child that he dies?? holy fucking shit?? and nymphadora?) at that point child me went and called bullshit and said that was bad writing. you can’t kill everyone for no reason. you bitch. i recall now seeing a meme online comparing a harry potter book marked with kills vs one of the asoiaf books. and obviously grrm wrote more kills, his books are not for children, but it was presented as like a gotcha moment about violence. and at the time this was my first hearing of him at all so i had no context for that grievance. but now that i do i can say it’s so unfounded! rowling kills so unthoughtfully which is exactly the problem i had with both dora and remus dying. that is neeever true of grrm. also his books are way longer and there’s way more people of course more of them die. dummy. he got so robbed of that hugo. so robbed. i’ve read both books. i think the judges just didn’t get it from an accessibility standpoint. the setup is so much more. but it’s such a good reward. ugh. i still think the jaime lannister v hermione fanfiction is so funny that’s so objectively hilarious someone’s like ‘who would win’ and he writes it all out. jaime beating up and killing this kid. and people got so mad as if he doesn’t try and kill a kid in the books in the first chapter he’s in. like that’s just so silly. grrm if you can hear me pleasepleaseplease finish the books so that i can have a fully formed opinion on jaime lannister. and theon. and sansa. but mostly jaime i’ll dieeeeeee if i don’t have that
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Fanfiction Trope MASH-UP
Kili and Tauriel: Baby Fic + Interrupted Declaration of Love
This sounds impossible even for me, so I think I owe you an apology. XD Let it die in your Ask Box if it's too hard. Bahaha.
@sotwk Thank you so much 😊
Me the instant I noticed your ask:✨ I N S P I R A T I O N ✨
No really, thank you for being my first ever request Nanath 🤗
Word count: 1677
Kili Durinson, Prince of Erabor, beloved by his people, and Hero to half of Middle Earth, hates babys.
...well prehaps that was a bit dramatic. Kili, at this moment, harbors no significant love for this particular baby.
Sighing heavaly he glances down at the fuzzy red ball of fluff that is Bomburs child, the pebble really isn't a bad kid, usually, and he could hardly be blamed for teething, but really did he have to do it on the first night that Kili had free?
The prince had had plans After all. Perfect plans, he'd made sure of it. Nothing was going to go wrong.
Kili feels as if he can hear the Valar laughing at him.
He raises his eyes as the graceful form of his beloved ducks back into the room, oh that we could be somewhere else, without a baby. But Kili is an optimistic sort, he hasn't given up hope compleatly.
He's mostly just perturbed that the hour and a half of sitting with Bilbo has gone to waste. They had put so much thought into the plan, every detail ironed out, he'd even gone so far as to bribe Nori into using his spy network to get flowers.
But fate never wanted to give the poor prince a break.
A sneeze brings him back to the present and Kili makes a sympathetic face at the child, pointedly ignoring that his Royal Public Relations Tunic now has baby snot smeared accros the front.
Kili is not above taking some pleasure from imagining Balin's face when he descovers this little fact.
Smiling softy as Tauriel begins humming an elven song, he chides himself for mentally complaining so heartily; after all, Bombour could not be blamed for his cousins untimely labor.
True to the costumes set forth at the fist births, all family members over the age of five, were to be near when a new relative was brought into the world, thus when Lady Elberdeth's water broke a half month early, no time could be spared to finding another caretaker for the one-year-old.
Bilbo would have done of course, as would any of the company, but sadly they all had prior engagements. Bussinous in Dale was what detained his family Thorin as king, Bilbo as consort, and Fili as crown prince, had all been called away to a meeting who's date had been agreed upon weeks prior.
Kili had been grumpy at them a mere five seconds when he'd caught Bilbo's dismayed expression and forgiven them all imeadiatly.
Bombour's tears of gratitude when Tauriel had offered to whatch ober the baby may have been a comtender twords that as well, and really no one could be upset at the large dwarf for long regardless of any circumstance.
The child's breathing slows to a steadier rythym as he desendes into sleep, though Kili notes that his mouth is still open, his nose compleatly blocked up.
When the Pebble is laid down in his parents' bed -head elevated- Kili alowed himself to collapse into a chair in the parlour. "I find myself exhausted." He is delighted when Tauriel rewards him with a sift version of her musical laugh.
"Indeed, I shall never say aught agaist the patience of dwarves, that master Bombour and his One have done this four time before" Kili winces in agreement, he find himself sure that he could never find the willpower for it.
And Kili has alot of willpower.
The evidence of which is sitting across from himself, looking like a painting as she reads a book. After all, his uncle is not oberly fond of elves, dealing with them was a chore, allowing one to live in his kingdom? Unthinkable.
Kili and been hard put to make the elven maids case, he blames it on Thorin's then wounds, and Bilbo's minesrations that the efforts had been successful at all.
Not to say it didn't take longer than he'd wished, in the end it had taken a total of nine arguments to convince his uncle, the last of which finally pushed his alowence.
"Uncle please!-"
"No! Kili! How many times must I reinforce this? I will not have an elf living within our halls, she has no reason.".
Kili resists the urge to rip his beard out. "Tauriel has been banished, was banished because of her efforts to assist us! Is that not reason enough? Were we not exiles of our own country so long, have you already forgotten?"
Thorin runs a hand through his hair, wincing at rhe pain the movment brings. "Kili..."
"No! It is no differant! She saved my life AND Fili's if you'll remember."
"I am not saying that we do not owe this elf a great deal," the king concedes, allowing a flash of hope to pass through Kili. "But that is not the same as allowing an outsider into our home."
Biting back his anoyance in what Killi feels is a great exhibition of maturity, he responds as calmly as he can manage, "Bilbo stays." Thorin's facial expression shifts rapidly at the mention of the Hobbit and Kili bites a smirk back. "His ears are rathrer pointed, are they not?"
"That is not-"
"Hmm, yes, they are. I supose you'll be packing him off as well? Cant have outsiders in our midst" Kili is being manipulative, he knows it, but he has grown tired of arguing with his uncle and is unashamed of using the poir burglar against his -obviously love struck- uncle.
Predictably, Thorin bristles instantly bristles. "Master Baggins has not been an outsider for quite some time-"
"And why not?" Kili's reprochfull frown is evident to his uncle, who in return sighs wearily.
"Has he not done more for our people than can ever be repaid? Treated us as his own, when we- I had done nothing to deserve such treatment?"
"Uncle you prove my point for me, you've yet to give Tauriel even the slightest chance, just as you once did Bilbo! You grew to regret that choice, would you repeat it here?"
Thorin raises an eyebrow. "I doubt that my feelings for this elf will ever mirror those I harbour for Bilbo?"
Kili's nose srunches at the mental image. "Mahal, no uncle. But what you feel for Bilbo I do for Tauriel." His words are quieter neer the end, this he had not told anyone so far, though he knew Fili suspected.
Thorin's eyes widen a fraction. "You mean to say-"
Kili grabs his hair in his own hands. "YES, uncle Thorin, I feel it, Tauriel is my one." When he raises his head Thorin sees the unshed tears in his eyes, "every hour I am away from her it pains me, worse the this accursed stab wound"
There were more words spoken after that, but Thorin was convinced, and spent the next few months urging Kili to confess to the elven maid.
Sterling himself, Kili reaches the desision, if Tauriel had any though of returning his feeling surely she would not refute to acknowledge them only because of the less than glamorous surounding-
"Kili are you well?"
The youngest Durin is yanked from his thoughts he the lovely voice of the Eleth. He blinks owlishly in response, confusion evident.
That beautiful laugh escapes from her lips again. "You've been staring at me for some time Kili, my guess would be around seven and a half minuets."
Kili grins sheepishly. "Apologies," Tauriel smiles her forgivness. "Only... I wish to tell you-" a cry picks up in the next room and both of them shoot to their feet, runing to the bext room.
After the child is clean, dry, and back asleep, Kili meanders to the kitchen, pleased to find a suitable snack to share with Tauriel.
This is of course, an innocent snack, not a tool of procrastination nor an excuse to be close to the elven maid. Not at all.
By the time the last of the pie has dissapreared, Kili has once again gathered his courage and speaks; "Tauriel I wish to-"
A thump is heard, Tauriel and Kili exchange glances before racing once again to the crying child's aid.
The child who seemingly had a death wish, as he had rolled off the bed and -being a rather plump child- had gotten stuck betwixt the bed and the wall.
Twenty minutes later he is back asleep and there is once again peace- but Kili has decided not to trust it and goes to open his mouth emidiatly, but is cut off before he can begin.
"Kili I wish to speak of a metter of great importance"
The tone in the elves voice sends a jolt of panic through the young dwarf and he swallows thickly before gesturing for Tauriel to continue, dreading what her words may be.
"I wish for you to know that I harbor romantic feeling for you, and should like very much if you would allow me to court you."
Kili stares a moment, then stares some more. Then he blinks three times in rapid succession.
Tauriel twists her hands nervously in her lap before withdrawing a small box from the flods of her tunic. Opening it allows Kili to see a beautifully crafted crafted pair of beads, each made of onyx with petrified wood inlaid.
Suddenly a near-hysterical laugh echoes throughout the room, and Kili is shocked to realise it has come from himself.
Slapping a hand over his mouth he reaches into his own pocket to withdraw a box similar to Tauriel's, opening it to reveal two beads of his own. Crafted from jade, they are made into the appearance of leaves.
To his relief Tauriel catches onto the irony of the situation, and begins to laugh as well. After a moment Kili calms himself enough to ask; "May I braid your hair Armariline?"
With a smile that makes Kili's heart sore, Tauriel nods. "If you will allow me the same honour?"
Kili agrees instantly, and moves to his love- right at a cry rings throughout the space once again.
ONCE AGAIN- thank you so much Nanath! I would have no courage to post this but I'm doing it anyway! (Seriously though, I saw this ask at 2:43 am, its now 3:21. No quality here)
#oh heeby jeeby#i hooe this isnt to terable#please be forginving#my fic#writing#asks#answers#tauriel x kili#kili x tauriel#bilbo baggins x thorin oakenshield#(background)#og geez#*shrivles up and dies*#the hobbit#is ashamed of me#bagginshield#kili#kili durin#tauriel
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nhthcth is so damn good i can't even handle it. What really got me this most rescent update is how well you write Elias. He's threatening, terrifying even, but in a way that feels unique to you and much closer to canon than a lot of other fic I've seen him in. Can you talk about how you approach writing Mr. Eyeball Bastard Man?
Eliassssss oh I hate the bastard. So do y’all, based on the sheer number of death threats he gets every single chapter.
If I’m doing fanfiction, I’m usually playing off of a canon character who already has an established personality that I’m trying to at least get in the ballpark range of. So what I usually do is pick a few dominant core traits and then adapt them for the events of the narrative. Here’s what I focused on for Elias in nhthcth:
1. Total lack of empathy.
This was one of the biggest ones for making Elias such a huge threat in nhthcth and just making him so terrible. It’s also the trait that I think ties him the most to canon elias.
I see a lot of fanfictions where Elias is a lot more caring or attentive or just pulls more of his punches in comparison to his canonical self, and for me, it’s the biggest separation between canon elias and some depictions of him in fanon. This happens a good deal with fics that do involve Jon as a child��which, you know, is a playground nhthcth is kicking around sand in.
And I want to be so clear that I am not knocking or criticising those fanfictions. I have so much fun with them and they do a lot of good work. A lot of the time, the authors aim probably isn’t even to have their elias be like canon elias—it’s fanfiction. It is defined by taking creative liberties, and the way they execute their eliases are all extremely fun and enjoyable and interesting in their own unique way. The only thing I would say is that I really would not see canon elias making those same decisions—which is probably a statement that can be made about some of the decisions nhthcth elias makes, because I am not jonny sims and I, too, am taking creative license and engaging in fanfiction. Which is a very longwinded aside, but it’s important for me to say that I am not at all trying to insult these works of other authors who I deeply respect.
I also think it’s important to note that I feel Elias’s cruelty and lack of empathy takes child Jon fics and nhthcth specifically into darker waters than most want to be in. Like, fundamentally, Jon’s a kid. Due to the nature of Becoming, he is having his soul slowly eaten while he’s still alive to experience it. It’s very dark, heavy subject matter all circulating around a very young protagonist.
The thing is that I really like dissecting the practical implications of a narrative decision and embracing the ugly reality of it. Like, if it’s just a potential consequence that doesn’t have any real narrative merit and I can go with a happier alternative, I will go with the happier alternative but it sort of bugs me if I sort of like, shy away from the inherent implications of something. At the same time, I really dont want to fetishize bad things happening, particularly to young characters. Like sometimes, it just gets gratuitous, and I don’t like that either. I mostly try to edge around some of the worst of it by implying what happened rather than showing the actual scenes, but it’s a hard balance to strike, particularly when you tend towards angst in general and when a lot of the characters you’re writing about are children.
Like, nhthcth was both spurred from my interest in mr spider and how it could have gone different, but also in the fact that by the time canon Jon enters the narrative, most of the major actors in this supernatural underground are already gone. Gerry is dead, so is Dekker and Gertrude and Agnes Montague, so you have this sort of mental image of a golden age already passed. Most of the people who defined the landscape are already taken out of commission by the time Jon even approaches the edges of what’s happening, and I really wanted to write a Jon that participated in that period of time, which meant he had to get involved much earlier than he did and it spiralled from there, which left me stuck grappling with the practical implications of such a metaphysically horrifying experience as Becoming being visited upon a very young boy.
in a similar way, toy rosaries deals in an adult Matt Murdock and was really sourced in a desire to have Jack Murdock alive and kicking at the time daredevil is around, but you have to figure out how Matt’s still daredevil if jacks not dead, the clearest narrative divergence point is jacks death, Matt being kidnapped then was the clearest way to put him in sticks path, human trafficking was the only thing I thought the mob would practically do as retaliation that wasn’t killing Matt as a lesson to Jack, which sort of leaves me figuring out how to handle the practical realities of something as horrible as human trafficking and what’s likely to happen as a result.
Which is another long winded way of saying that deciding how far is far enough with cruelty, particularly when your child is a protagonist, is a difficult balancing act to strike and most writers probably don’t want to go quite so far as nhthcth does.
all of that being said, i just think canon elias would not nearly go to the sheer effort that he does in a lot of fics that i've seen. once again i have SO MUCH FUN watching him do it still and this is not to insult those fics, i love them too and think they're fantastic, they're just playing in the sandbox a different way than i am.
usually his care or effort is sourced in canon traits. The most common one i've personally seen is Elias doing it out of service to the Eye, who is Obsessed with Jon.
And this makes sense! The Eye has always, even in canon, shown a sort of increased attention to jon. Jon got a lot of stuff from the Eye that Elias never did in canon, even pre apocalypse. Post apocalypse, he was its Special Little Boy and the Eye was basically pspspspspspspsp'ing for its beloved archivist to shank elias in his little fear cocaine rave discoball so Jon could be the Most Specialist Boy In The Universe, despite the fact that Jon did this purely against his will and Elias has been its dedicated acolyte for literal centuries. The man is still getting his shit rocked by someone who isn't even on the police force anymore in his shitty little jail cell without any supernatural healing that we know of. Jon's over there having the worst fucking time of his life, been here for fucking twelve and a half minutes, and he's already curb stomping Peter Lukas in the depths of his own Entity and supernaturally healing from injuries and this is all happening with his active disapproval. Jon has a permanent google doc open on his laptop titled "resignation letter if i ever fucking gain the ability to quit without having to gouge out my own eyes or if local gayboy agrees to do self mutilation with me and run off to smooch in cottagecore bliss in which case i care less about the eye thing" and the Eye still thinks he's the most favoritist boy around. Elias is trying his best to bring his master into reality to realize its terrible purpose and the Eye is still making him schlep down to his old body with a very confused mailroom twink to manually gouge out his eyes in what must be a painful and messy process that's embarrassing for everyone. Like, elias probably doesn't have that much upper body strength. is it. is it hard to overpower the local stoner with a flat ass and poor observational skills. does he ever slip on the blood. does it ruin his clothes. does he. does he ever mess up with the, the eye thing. the removal thing. it's probably so gross. like the entire process is just extremely inelegant and probably embarrassing. Jon just fucking got here and didn’t even want to be here and the Eye is lavishing him with gifts and attention like he’s its favorite babygirl, and elias is looking on with resentment after clocking hundreds of years of dedicated service like “I could be babygirl” but he can’t he can’t be babygirl he will NEVER be babygirl
It's also canonically suggested through agnes montague that child avatars tend to be a lot closer to their entities and more powerful than people who become avatars as an adult. i have my own theories as to why this may be, but if you combine that with Jon's own unusually strong connection to the Eye, then it's safe to say that the Eye in these fics is going to be very much transfixed with baby jon.
But my own personal theories about the Entitles means that this would, in no way, require Elias to show even the barest amount of mercy towards jon.
This is a another MASSIVE DIVERGENCE that i won't really break down for the sake of like, the poor souls pinponging along this explanation with me, but I have a bit of a background in Classical tradition, including greek and roman philosophy. And I find the entities intensely fascinating, because how they're discussed metaphysically is really similar to how the classical tradition approaches metaphisics as well.
The thing is that, at their core, the Entities only are what they are, which is a very classical approach to metaphysics. The Eye is the horrible fear of being exposed, seen, known, by something cruel and uncaring, among other things. So Jon can compel truths from you with great ease, because that draws directly from the Eye's wheelhouse. But he couldn't compel you to lie. Moreover, I'd go so far as to say the Eye is metaphysically estopped from lying to him. Everything he Knows has to be true, because the Eye's very being is formed of this fear of horrible truths.
And I'd say that the Eye would never care about whether or not Jon is happy or treated well because that simply is not in the realm of what it is. The Eye is a thing that is metaphysically incapable of love in the way that you or I understand it. It is a direct product of the negative emotion of Fear, and as a result, something like concern or care for its most beloved avatar's wellbeing is something entirely alien to its very existence. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that it enjoys jon's own pain and suffering, because that is the only thing that it is capable of.
And this is something that I try to imply pretty directly in the most recent chapter of nhthcth. Jon straight up says that the Eye loved him for the pain he felt.
The Eye's entire existence, it's sole natural law purpose, is entirely directed towards fear, pain, suffering, and its consumption. If the Eye loves something, then that must be a very terrible thing, because it is only truly capable of causing pain.
And that's fascinating in the context of Avatars, because avatars are repeatedly shown to enjoy what they are. They're not really trapped in pain and suffering--they delight in it, actually. But I think the answer to why that is is most clearly seen in the act of Becoming.
Jane Prentiss is an excellent case study, because we have a statement from her in the moments before she fully Became. Even in the moments of her most devoted fervor, there's a deep, existential pain in her words. She doesn't like it. She came to the magnus institute not to gloat, but at a desperate final bid at being saved from the thing that was consuming her metaphysically in a way that caused such terrible pain that she could not put it into words.
And the thing is that I don't think it ever stopped hurting. I think that the Corruption just ate the part that remembered it was supposed to hurt. Her final form has some corroboration for this as well. She became a home for that which loved her, and that was a home riddled with holes. It must have hurt, having so many worms inside of her, burrowing and squirming and writhing. But she delighted in the pain, and I don't know if we can say that means it wasn't actually painful or that there has simply become something deeply perverse about her understanding of pain.
We see this in other avatars as well. Mike Crew, for all of his delight in the Vast, didn't actually seem to want to join it. he doesn't remember his own Becoming, and is deeply confused at his own jumbled recollections of being afraid because it's so incongruous with what he Became. But the outside statement discussing his Becoming corroborates that Mike Crew before he fell was desperate and afraid, and may not have truly wanted what he actually chosen. Once again, I don't think that Mike liked it, in truth. I think he just lost the bit of him that understood that it hurt.
Jon himself is an excellent case study as well. Season 2 is his most clear descent into what he becomes. That's where he starts developing his abilities most clearly, and, more important, that's where he begins to feed his god in earnest. he reads the statements, and the Eye feeds from him, but I think a far more definitive act that sent him towards his own becoming as the fact that he was stalking his coworkers that season. He was inciting in them a fear of paranoia and being watched that the Eye must have delighted in--and we see that he actually did cause this pain particularly in Tim's own deep-seated resentment towards Jon that is never truly resolved.
And I think that we never seen in canon the true depths of how profoundly Jon must have hurt Tim in the scope of Season 2. Tim is not only Jon's closest friend in the Archive--he's extremely strongly implied to be his closest friend in the Institute and possibly his closest friend at all at this point in time. Now, it's also shown that Sasha and Tim were likely closer to one another than Jon and Tim ultimately were, but it's still undeniable that the bond that Tim and Jon had must have been a very, very deep one in Season 1.
Tim is the only person that Jon actually asks to come with him to the Archives. He is shown to care deeply about Sasha--most notably in the sheer grief he felt about her death but also in his concern for her with Michael's first appearances--but it's unclear how much of that, if any, predated the Archives, and how much of that is just Jon's general care for people around him. Tim is the one that he actively wants to be with him in a job promotion he's later shown to be deeply insecure and fearful about, and while that may be just a general appreciation for his work ability, when he's in the Archives, Tim is the one that he repeatedly goes to for help with the most sensitive topics he has, such as Oliver Bank's initial statements. Jon in Season 1 is explicitly stated to be held deeply in the grasp of a very old fear of his, and most of his most prickly actions--namely, his blind insistence on tearing apart statements--is a desperate attempt to protect himself from a primordial fear that is likely of similar nature to the worst thing that ever happened to him. The fact that Jon, in the depths of a very deep and old fear, trusted Tim not to hurt him, suggests a relationship that had a very solid foundation prior to season 2. The fact that it is after tim nearly dies a horrible, painful death helping save someone who was likely one of his closest friends is the point where that friend decides he's completely untrustworthy begets a horribly violation that Tim has every right to feel betrayal for.
And I think that the sheer terror of being stalked itself must have been horribly painful for Tim as well. In the intervention, he has this line with a lot of tense anger where he says "He was watching my house." And I can't help but wonder how long it took Tim to figure that out.
He has his own trauma around the supernatural a la Danny that's been exacerbated by a very recent life or death spooky scenario. He starts to realize he's being stalked. He feels himself being watched. He likely doesn't realize it's Jon right away. All he knows that there's someone in his bushes, following him home, and he can feel eyes on him that hold nothing but malice. It must have hurt like nothing else when he realized Jon was the one who caused such horrible fear in him. All of that likely made an amazing meal for the Eye, and Jon was probably unknowingly feeding off of him the entire time. Jon stalking his coworkers was also a choice, and it sent him hurdling along the path of becoming the same way the statements did.
But what's especially interesting in this is that the one who explicitly suffers from the most paranoia in Season 2 isn't Tim.
It's Jon.
He spends almost all of Season 2 in a state of total paranoia. Tim, or what we see in canon of him, doesn’t seem to ever get close to the sheer existential panic Jon casually lives in the entirety of season 2. It's a mania, and one that causes him almost constant suffering. He's in total, constant, crippling fear, and while it's posited that the Not Them was part of what caused this, I think it'd be a mistake to say that the Eye wasn't getting a meal of its own. Out of all the entities, the Eye is most closely tied to paranoia, and it's suggested that the Not Them only affected him to such a degree because of his relationship with the Eye. Jon's own Becoming is yet another example of how even the avatars of the Entities are not exempt from their gods, and in fact seem to suffer from them more directly than even some of the victims.
So at the end of the day, you have a child in Elias's sole control who has absolutely no one to advocate for him. The only interest of Elias's that he serves is the Eye, and if anything, the Eye itself is interested in his pain and suffering. The only person in this situation who could possibly show jon an ounce of mercy in this environment is Elias himself, and canon Elias has never once exhibited anything that suggests he ever would.
Repeatedly, Elias in canon is shown to elect for cruel detached watching even when mercy is an option that would cost him little to nothing. Barnabas Bennet came to him for help, and Elias plainly states that he liked Barnabas, collected his bones sadly, and could have saved him but chose not to. More interestingly, he says so in a Statement, where he cannot lie, because such a thing is anathema to what the Eye is. His sorrow at Barnabas's death must be to some degree genuine, but he still elected for cruelty. He states that he did it to see what would happen, which means its at least in part directed towards feeding the eye, but it is important to note that this decision can't be laid entirely at the Eye's feet. Elias was still in the very early stages of his becoming and had likely not yet even attempted the Watcher's Crown. Not only that, but to blame this decision entirely on the Eye's hunger would directly ignore the thematic importance of choice in tma.
Daisy is implied to be one of the strongest, if not the strongest, avatar of the hunt around. She's actively starving herself, and she still fairly easily scares off Trevor and Julia, despite the fact that Trevor is an experienced, fully realized hunter who had gone through the process of dying and choosing his god, and Julia is in her prime and at least a third generation hunter. Daisy at the start is also very cruel in how she feeds her god, and she's shown to revel in it, much like Elias.
But she still abandoned a hunt for Basira. Even as far gone as she was when she went after Jon in the forest, she gave up a hunt at least in part because Basira asked her to. At the time Barnabas Bennet got stuck in the lonely, Elias was probably a common bitch who could probably barely even get a spooky heads up about the lunch specials, and he still decided to watch a friend's horrible, slow demise for basically no reason. "I wanted to see what happened" the fuck do you think is going to happen, elias. if you really wanted to know, you could have traded mordechai someone you didn't have homoerotic tension with to watch in the lonely and still gotten to save your probable ex-boy toy. Elias picked to be cruel, and the things you pick hold some of the greatest weight in tma.
Elias also exhibits this tendency towards Jon pretty plainly in canon, with the most notable instance being jon's attack from prentiss. Jon almost died entirely because Elias was watching and waiting as the worms were eating him, despite being able to stop it at any time with the emergency extinguisher. He claims that this was to ensure the marks on him were deep, and while this may be true in part, i think there's an implicit drive of perverse enjoyment in that. Jon, after all, was already marked by the corruption at this point. He was marked earlier in the day, when the worms first ate into his leg. Elias could have hit the fire extinguisher before the worms even got close to him at the end, and Jon still would have bore the corruption's mark. There's nothing in canon to suggest that the marks even need to be particularly deep--in fact, it's pretty clearly suggested that they only necessitate a fear of his life without any real intensity qualifier past that, because the Desolation's mark came from one handshake, the vast was a bad tea date, and he just had to look at the science project of the fuckin' glue-eater entity that is the dark. He was suffering, and Elias was feeding the god of callous observation of suffering. I think he did it at least partially because he was cruel, and he enjoyed it, and he was not going to try and make getting what he wanted--jon marked--any less painful than he could. He may have needed Jon marked for what he wanted, but he chose to make it crueler than it had to be. He liked it.
Lastly, canon pretty directly states that elias wouldn't really give two shits about the fact that jon was a kid. He ended a world full of children and damned them to what he thought was an eternity of pain and suffering without so much as a blink of hesitation.
The fact that Elias consistently elects for the crueler option is something that i think that is pretty fundamental to his characterization in nhthcth, and I think it's what makes him as terrifying a villain as he is. Particularly in chapter 23, elias is just callous towards Jon and his emotional devastation.
Chapter 23 was meant to sort of be a bridging point between Jon as a child and Jon as an adult. As a child, he’s almost completely overwhelmed by the Eye, and he doesn't really have a reason to have hope for any other existence. He doesn't really remember a life before this, and he knows that what's happened to him is so absolute that he can't go back to what he was before. He has multiple scenes where he's shown to not want to be what he is right now or stay where he is, but they're pretty directionless. He goes to the park; he comes back; he doesn't run because he can't think of anywhere to run to. He can't run from something living in his head, so he stagnates in this state where he wants to live any other life but can't think of another one to live.
But Jon as an adult, if anything, is more stuck than he was as a child. unlike before he ran away, he knows that the contract precludes any real chance of leaving. He's fully the Archivist, has been the Eye's avatar for much longer, and he knows enough about this world to know that even if he tried to leave, someone would come after him. If anything, he's got less reason to fight than ever.
But adult jon is marked by constant resistance--including seemingly meaningless resistance. Like, Jon has done absolutely everything he can to make sure that his captivity is not convenient for everyone else. Shit like having a deeply inappropriate out of office email, replying to HR messages with "hey i'm metaphysically bound to a monument of terror and cannot leave so i'm going to continue being a deeply unsettling and unwell man"--that doesn't do anything for him. Elias isn't going to let him go just because Jon's dedicated his life to making Elias seem like the world's shittiest adoptive parent who raised the world's least adjusted man. He's still got fight to him, and there's this lingering question of why when so much of his fight just doesn't serve any real goal of his and Elias will retaliate if he pushes too far.
And I think the reason why is because Jon in chapter 23 experiences a loss he's never going to forget or recover from, and while he may not be able to change that, he won't let Elias forget it either.
Jon in chapter 23 is effectively mourning the loss of his own personhood and his family. His grief is tangible, and it's strong enough to drive him for the rest of his life. And I think one of the cruelest things Elias does in the fic is trivialize his pain.
It's insult to injury to insult. Jon becomes physically ill on more than one occasion with how much distress he's in, and Elias calls him dramatic for it. Jon's having a total breakdown, and Elias is calling him selfish because this may require him to have to move around his schedule.
And all of that isn't needed for Elias's purposes, at the end of the day. Jon is trapped by the contract. He's feeding on statements, and he's got every indication that the Eye will continue making Jon Become. Even if this was driven by a pure cold, calculated design to end the world, he could do it without the endless verbal digs that just demean Jon. His cruelty, that's a choice. He picked to do it, and he didn't have to. it's not just that what happened to Jon was a necessary evil to make someone capable of wearing the watcher's crown; he's got moments where he could show mercy and still get what he wants, and he picks to be crueler.
at the end of the day, he is the one in almost absolute control over jon from a very young age, and he will not stay his own hand. Jon is a hurt, frightened, desperate child, and he does not care. He has no real affection for him past his own smug self-satisfaction at having created a child who could wear the watcher's crown. He has some incentive for Jon to be hurt, but even when he doesn't have incentive for that, he will affirmatively elect for the more painful option. I think canon elias would be making a lot of the same decisions, and that's one of the most horrible bits about Elias having a child as young as jon under his control. Some of his worst, most villainous lines and actions was a direct result of the fact that he could ease up on what he’s doing and every time he chooses to hurt Jon more.
2. Avoidance of responsibility.
Elias in canon is fascinating because some of his most memorable monologues center on him preaching on personal choice and responsibility, and yet the character who most often dodges his own complicity in what happened. The only time he actively accepts responsibility in what he's done is when he's gloating about it, most plainly seen when Daisy's got a fucking gun on him and Jon literally just crawled out of his own grave and would happily put Elias there in his stead, and Elias is taking his sweet fucking time telling everyone in a room full of people that want to kill him that he did every last thing because he wanted to and enjoyed it, and no one made him do a damn thing.
Any other time, however, he's repeatedly trying to flip the script and make it all about everyone else's personal responsibility. He's over here telling Jon that he chose and picked every last thing he did to become, and while that may be true, he neglects the important little detail that it'd be batshit fucking insane from the get out to assume that this normal job promotion to be what Jon seems to think is a librarian with more dust would incontrovertibly bind him to evil god. He made the choices, but he made them in a culture of ignorance that elias purposefully cultivated and literally killed to maintain, and if you're looking to attribute responsibility for this, then the responsibility is most plainly laid at Elias's feet.
Casting other people's righteous pain and indignation at what he did to them as something that's their fault is a favorite manipulation tactic for elias, but I think it becomes especially egregious in nhthcth, because he's using it against someone who is a child. Jon as a kid cannot parse through Elias's blame-giving in the same way Jon as an adult potentially could have--his brain is literally not developed enough. And while Jon as an adult at the very least assumed a little risk by taking a job at spooky central (not to mention the blame he has to bear for some of his more egregious activities, like stalking his coworkers, even if it is mitigated by the fact that he was in a state of extreme mental distress), Jon in nhthcth was a scared little boy afraid of being eaten who begged him for help. In response, Elias just fed jon to something else. He's doing the exact same things as he does in canon and using the exact same manipulation strategies, but it makes for an almost more horrifying action, because he's doing it against a little boy who bears absolutely no blame or responsibility in what happened to him, who was hurt on a much deeper level, and who just cannot defend himself against elias or his claims.
3. Arrogance.
Lastly, one of the most important aspects of elias as a character that I really tried to underscore in nhthcth is that he just is not as smart as he thinks he is.
Elias in canon has cast himself as this grand player in a game of cosmic proportions, which is hilarious, because he's actually the biggest clown in a community that literally has an entirely separate evil circus. there are literal clowns and he's outstripping them with ease.
Fundamentally, elias is a fucking schmuck.
He's a pawn from the start, and canon I feel is pretty clear about that. Most of his grandest successes in this game are either fed to him by the Web or him playing right into the hands of the Web's plans, which, of course, conclude with him being shanked by his own employee who probably hadn't even been with the company for like, that long. He only finds out about the Entities because the web arranges for it.
Even his final victory was honestly pretty hollow. I mean, the apocalypse happened, he took his place in the panopticon, but he was just a glorified disco ball huffing fear like paint fumes. Granted, he was in much better straits than everyone else, but I think there’s something innately human in the idea that we want more form life than the bare sensation of pleasure, which is what Elias’s life devolves into. He’s just in this weird fugue state mindlessly consuming fear which is just… pathetic, honestly.
It’s especially ironic in light of why he even incites the apocalypse. He does it, effectively, so no one else can do it to him. He starts trying to stop it from ever happening, decides instead it’s better to fuck over anyone else than be the one who gets fucked over. It’s also probably influenced in no small part by his deep fear of death.
The irony comes, of course, in the fact that he trapped himself and everyone else in a doomed world where death was guaranteed. While time didn’t exist in the apocalypse, so we can’t say if it was longer or shorter than his worldly life, he arguably could have survived longer if he just kept body hopping through trust fund twinks in a world where he could have kept getting his daily Starbucks and slutting around with whoever the new dumbest person in the Lukas family lineage was.
The fact that Elias always was a sacrificial lamb to the Web’s ultimate plot really just puts the final nail in just how outclassed he was in canon. He spent his entire existence trying to crown himself king of a ruined world, and when he finally got there, all he did was snort fear coke in the world’s carcass and then immediately get sacrificed because he was only ever just a placeholder for the Web's actual victory.
like in canon, Elias in nhthcth seems to think he occupies the role of a chess master navigating this grand scheme. however, like in canon, he's a fucking dumbass eating glue.
It's important to note that Elias's biggest victories are all the direct product of him skating through cheap advantages rather than any actual intelligence or skill. The real leverage that Elias has over Jon and everyone else is the contract. He is able to control a lot because none of them can physically get away or kill him. But the thing is that it's very easy to call yourself a chess master when you're a grown ass adult who signs up for the kiddie league.
Jon is fucking eight and knows jack shit about what's going on when he's trapped by Elias, and he has been skating off that victory ever since. Like, congrats, man, you barely squeaked out a success against someone who is in the third grade. Way to go, you special little man.
Part of his real downfall is that he's just not the player he thinks he is. He goes to his end having played his part in a performance that was never particularly creative to begin with. He hit everyone of his pre-written lines without missing a beat, and he died on cue, just as pathetic as he always was. He goes to his death as a patsy that lived just as long as he needed to.
I wanted to preserve that for nhthcth. I wanted his downfall to be linked to his own overestimation of his worth and his fatal flaws.
Elias throughout the fic is pretty insistent on making this show of someone who eternally has the upper hand, and who's already won, that i think is consistent with him from canon. But if you look at what's happening substantively, Elias so seriously overplays his hand on multiple occasions that he really lays the groundwork for his own downfall.
Elias spends chapter 23 treating Jon like his resistance is already at its end. he's extremely confident about it too--he puts it at a couple months before it's all over. Of course, we see the timeline in 2013, and we know that for all of his confidence, he is miserably wrong. Jon never forgets Gerry. He never stops hating Elias. He never stops fighting elias or what's happening to him. And I think that the way Elias approaches these facts is really indicative of the fact that he profoundly misunderstands jon as a person--almost entirely because he repeatedly discounts jon as a person. He treats jon like he's tangential to his own being, just person that unfortunately hasn't yet been stripped away from the Eye's vessel. And it's that arrogant dismissal that I think really sets him up for his own failure.
Not to take another divergence into another character, but Elias's main interactions in nhthcth take place with Jon, and I think to understand one you really need to understand another.
Jon was one of the harder characters to design for nhthcth, simply because his circumstances were so at odds with canon. It wouldn't make sense to have him start at the same characterization he had at season 1, simply because he knows so much more and his life experiences have been entirely different. At the same time, his characterization in later seasons were intensely the product of the events of canon, and they weren't a perfect match either. I ended up whittling him down to the base core of himself and sort of patchworking his different characteristics throughout the seasons back in.
And the thing is that i think at the most base, fundamental core of jon sims is that he will fight to the absolute end. he's just not guaranteed to be particularly good at it. And it's fascinating to me, because Jon's sheer drive towards resistance is something that seems to be dismissed time and time again by characters in canon, despite the fact that it really defines so much of who he is.
There's that Web statement, right? The Creature Feature one, about the movie production by Dexter Banks. The Statement details a Web Leitner that had been found by the director of a movie, about a spider that terrorized a small island town. The narrative lacked any real protagonist or hero, with each interlude ending with the slow, calm march of the character into the jaws of the spider. the closest thing that they get to a protagonist is a man on the island by chance, who serves as a connecting thread, wandering between and observing the islanders who all inevitably march into the spider's jaws. The actor playing this connecting thread on the film set was noted to seem to know more than everyone else, and who was the only one not excited, instead approaching this with more weariness and gravity. He would just spend his off hours smoking and reading, and when the time came and the Web claimed its victims in the actors, he led them all into the room without any resistance.
That episode seems to be a pretty clear analogy to Jon, right? You have the victims of the spider, paralleling statement givers, with the lone connecting thread wandering amongst them and watching their demise and the aftermath. But what's most interesting to me is this implication of going without resistance, because that's the place that Jon notably diverges.
Jon resisted pretty much every step of the way--he was just always outgunned, outmatched, and outclassed by people who had a lot more power and knowledge than him. But I think the fact that he constantly resisted was still important.
From the first episode, Jon has on display this instinct towards keeping himself contrary to the entities--he just never has the know-how to inform his resistance. he goes to ridiculous lengths to maintain his impression of skepticism, despite the fact that all three of his assistants call him out for how ludicrous it's getting, and yet he insists on maintaining it, because he thinks pretending not to know may help protect him from whatever's watching him. he just happened to be wrong.
he immediately tried to go after the not-them, but he again lacked the knowledge and skill to go up against it, but even when he was on the run, he was trying to leave tapes so people would remember his voice. When Michael was going to kill him, jon was trying to demand a way that he could get michael to spare his life--there just happened to not be any. He reaches the apocalypse, and he doesn't take up his role as the most important eye boy around--he tries to find the way to fix it. Even towards the very end, Jon tries to fight the Web's plans for him and to put it all to an end--it's just the web took his resistance into account and planned around it.
That, fundamentally, is where you can see the difference between the web and elias, and in particular elias in nhthcth.
Elias does not understand the game he's playing, and he is someone who is cruel for the sake of cruelty. Elias thinks that Jon himself is a non-issue, that Gerard Keay could never be a true problem for him, and that he solved the entire issue already. He thinks that he's already won, because he does not recognize or understand what drives Jon. Elias is someone who would burn the entire world to keep himself warm. He stopped trying to save the world and caved incredibly quickly into ending it himself as his only option. He picks his own survival at the end of the day, every time, and he thinks that by narrowing Jon's options down where he makes self-preservation contingent on what he wants, then Jon will go with whatever elias wants. He does not understand that people will make other choices, that they'll sacrifice themselves for others, that they'll resist even when it hurts them. The Web has always shown an understanding of how to manipulate people and account for these kinds of contradictory instincts, but Elias is not nearly on the same level as the Web, no matter what he thinks about himself.
And I really wanted these moments of overplaying his hand to be tied to his own other core flaws and failings. He's not nearly as smart as he thinks he is, and it's his instinct towards cruelty that he indulges to the detriment of his own plan.
So we look at Jon in chapter 23, right? He's the one Elias seemingly has in checkmate with the contract. Elias certainly seems to think he's won--he says as much, very smugly, to Jon's face.
Jon spends the entire chapter in resistance, but it's a very aimless, futile resistance that Elias fully assumes will burn out. Like, jon's attempts in chapter 23 are honestly sad to me, because all of his resistance just seems to be for the sake of doing something. he doesn't have any plan around breaking into elias's office or the files. He starts to make trouble for elias, and it's the start of jon's eventual reputation as a spoiled, distrubed troublemaker who gives elias hell, but from jon's perspective it just seems so desperately sad to me.
Like, Jon takes a few shots at jonah magnus and tries to embarrass elias publicly, but he does it with full awareness taht it won't save him, and it will only make it worse for him. he's lashing out for the sake of lashing out, and elias knows that all of jon's resistance is ultimately going to fail, at least in the short term. but he falsely assumes that Jon's eventually going to give up.
The thing is that Elias did not have to handle Jon's becoming in this way.
Fuck, he could have said, "I've decided the absolute funniest thing I could possibly do here is rent an apartment and make Gertrude raise you and gerard in it, you have to keep reading statements but you don't have to be near me to be an eye avatar." He could have treated Jon with kindness, indoctrinated him or brainwashed him or whatever, and made jon believe in the exact same cause as him. It probably would have turned out better than it did.
If he gave Jon more leash, treated him with more kindness, let him have happiness and safety and security with Gerard Keay, Jon maybe wouldn't have fought elias as violently as he did. maybe he would have taken his victories where he could get it and at least work with elias on occasion to protect the life elias has left for him. At the very least, he wouldn't have his head archivist sending out newsletter reminders to their entire donor rolodex about how elias is still a prick, same as the last newsletter. But instead, Elias elected for the worse option. He assumed he had a victory he didn't have, and he decided that gave him license to be callous and cruel. What could jon do in retaliation? He had no way out, and he would give up sooner rather than later, so he could indulge his crueler side without any fear of repercussion.
But we know that Jon grew up to be an angry, resentful man who fights him tooth and nail every step of the way. He never gave up, he never stopped fighting, and he never made it easy on elias. Elias as a character has always thought himself smarter than he really is, and elias in nhthcth assumes a lot of victories he doesn't have. And that's his own undoing.
#nhthcth#elias Bouchard#I exclusively answer these when I’m off my adhd meds you will get every divergence under the sun
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Saw your recent “drama” with the book lotf and some fanfic you posted about reading, and all I have to say is: I’m so done with chronically online people. Some fics out there are gross, especially the ones that outwardly show cp, but jeez not EVERYTHING is sexualizing minors
I fairly dislike omegaverse, but I read that one for the sake of seeing what the fuss was about, and I will say that it is extremely tame, it was definitely much more than just alpha/omega porn fic (especially since there wasn’t porn)
I’ve never read lotf so that could mean I’m biased. My advice is to ignore them. I don’t wanna go point by point into why I don’t believe it was sexualizing kids, but I think you get my point lmao. Hopefully they won’t start stalking your blog now over this. Speaking of which, if any of the lotf fandom users see this, move along, because we obviously don’t agree with your statements.
also you mentioned you had a main blog, could I check it out? thanks!
lol I've been through so much fandom drama, two people (who, going by tone, I'm fairly sure have never attended university-level media classes, most likely due to their age) commenting on a fic rec annoys me for two hours and then I'm done with it. I hope more that this doesn't have any bad repercussions for the author? Because honestly, like I said, I enjoyed that fic a lot.
and tbh - general thing here - I don't like calling any fanfiction "gross" or "disgusting" or anything like it, even if I personally dislike the matter it deals with, simply because the fic means something to, at minimum, one person, and I don't want to disregard that. What's that cinema wins quote about how every movie is someone's favorite for a reason? That. Also if you start with that, you end up with "please public share your top 10 traumatic life experiences so I can evaluate whether you deserve to post this tagged fic that personally offends me".
And like, I've written several fics that I'm fairly sure a lot of people will call me gross for, I know for certain that a person I was having a pretty great conversation with blocked me right in the middle of said conversation when they saw some of my other stuff on AO3. And like. you know what? Good for them! If engaging with me after seeing that is something they're uncomfortable with, they ought to block me. Curate your online experience and all that.
And, to open that can of worms, I am pretty sure most people have no idea what actual sexualization of minors is or they wouldn't use those words so liberally when discussing a fictional text. Shout out to my professor who sat my class down and made us research the government statistics on CSA. Very interesting seminar, made you feel absolutely terrible and terrified of becoming a teacher and being constantly on a lookout for students, who might be abused at home.
Anyway, I'm going off topic. I don't really have anything more to say on this.
And this actually is my main blog! I was just referring to when I was into a more "problematique" ship (shout out to obikin I still love you <3) and blogged about it constantly ("on main") here. My writing side blog is @loosingmoreletters, but that's mostly general writing stuff and mdzs fanfic rn.
cheerio that's my take on it.
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Hi hello, I just wanted to say how much I adore your account because all of your Bob's Burgers opinions are completely correct. Yes. You are wonderful. ALSO, YOU ARE THE AMAZING PERSON WHO WROTE THE GENDERFLUID GENE FANFICTION YES. IT IS SO ADORABLE AND MADE ME SQUEAL, DEFINITELY ONE OF MY FAVORITES.
Thank you for bringing the Autistic Bob headcanon to my attention 👏🏼
Do you perhaps have any headcanons about Autistic Bob, because it makes me absolutely feral 👀
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!! :D this actually means a lot bcuz i always feel like im annoying people by posting so much on this account and spamming the tag im just very passionate about. burgers (and thank u for reading my genderfluid gene fanfiction i poured my entire heart and soul into it haha)
OKAY AUTISTIC BOB HEADCANONS
he is so bad at talking to ppl its very stressful because he doesn't understand social cues and people always assume he hates them?? bcuz he isnt very expressive and his words get misinterpreted so people he's talked to like once think that he hates them and he's an asshole so they treat him like garbage, but in reality he's a very loving and passionate and kind person he just doesnt express that very well :(
he wasn't very good at making friends when he was in school (and still isnt) like obviously socializing was hard bcuz of the restaurant and his mom but even outside of that he just Didn't understand other kids and they knew something was weird/different about him and treated him badly even if he didnt understand why, he was very trusting as a kid and fell for people's jokes and tricks a lot of the time bcuz he didnt question them which lead to him being pretty cynical as an adult
bob being autistic is 100% a genetic thing he inherented from big bob but neither of them would ever admit this and they both just think its a personality quirk, it is not
his special interest is cooking and he absolutely LOVES talking abt different recipes and ingredients he uses, he's usually good at controlling himself but if you get him talking about cooking he will not ever stop (linda actually loves this and actively encourages it by asking him questions especially when they first started dating bcuz she thought he was cute and otherwise he didnt talk about himself very much)
bob gets stressed out very easily and likes having control of things in his kitchen especially when he first started his restaurant bcuz he had a specific routine for everything, then he had kids and linda running around everywhere and he got a lot better at dealing with last-minute changes and stress LOL he still prefers cooking by himself though and his control freak tendencies tend to come out around the holidays (he definitely tries not to be Like That because he doesnt want to turn out like his father)
sometimes when the restaurant is busy bob will get overwhelmed and linda will tell him to take a break and go to the employee bathroom to calm down while she handles everything, he's very lucky that he married someone who thrives off chaos and craziness bcuz he would not survive without her
bob is the only person in their family who actually reads books its not very often, but he enjoys reading books about the cooking process and memiors written by professional chefs :) linda thinks that its extremely nerdy but she loves him and she thinks its cute when he reads before bed she calls him her little professor
bob doesn't stim very often bcuz he's good at masking (kinda) and he isnt very expressive in general but if he's really excited about something he'll start bouncing on his feet when he talks until he notices what he's doing and then he's embarrassed, he also mostly does vocal stims when he's anxious/upset lots of groaning just like tina and he repeats things somethings (especially recipes that he has memorized)
when bob has meltdowns (not very often) they usually come out as anger and he starts screaming at everybody and just being annoyed by everything and he's kinda awful to be around until he calms down, everyone in his family knows that he didnt mean it and that he was just stressed out and they're more worried about him than anything bcuz he doesn't typically lash out like that
bob learned the napkin trick he used with gene in the laser show episode when he was a kid bcuz he used to get stressed out while working at his dad's restaurant and the loud noise did not help, his dad wasnt totally understanding but he would let bob take a break if he needed it especially during busy days he would typically work in the kitchen
this is just canon but bob is awful with talking to customers which is why linda and the kids are usually the servers LOL he has absolutely no social skills and he feels like he always says the wrong thing and misses social cues and he comes off as cold and antisocial, if a customer comes back often enough like teddy he'll be more open to talking to them bcuz he knows them but otherwise he usually stays in the back of the restaurant and cooks (this is also why tina wasn't allowed to serve the customers when she was younger but after she asked her dad about it he said that she was allowed as long as she didn't try too hard to make conversation with them)
bob sees a lot of his younger self in tina which is something he absolutely refuses to look deeper into but she's a lot more social and confident than he ever was and she has way more friends than he did at her age (this is almost certainly something she got from her mom)
bob is usually okay around linda and the kids bcuz they're his family and he's used to them and doesnt feel as stressed out or anxious when he's around them, but sometimes he just cant deal with anyone and the kids annoy him with constant questions and loud noises so linda takes the kids out for the day and bob gets to relax at home and watch old western movies idk (this was a lot more common when the kids were younger bcuz now he can just ask them to leave him alone and they'll go to their rooms or whatever) but he's always happy when his family comes home <3
linda will occasionally drag bob out to social events or parties (especially when they were younger amd had more energy/no kids) but she also knows his limits and will come up with the perfect excuse to leave right as he's getting overwhelmed, he doesnt mind going to parties with her because of his (except family parties because they are a lot. he usually just stays home with the kids)
#I COULD ADD MORE BUT IM VERY TIRED#i had to add the stimming one bcuz i have written multiple fanfictions where he did that so its something i believe now i guess??#it makes sense idk he's a very subdued guy#doesnt really get emotional or express things#ask#bob's burgers#headcanons
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🥑🥤❄️🧩🧃 for the writers game >:3
🥑 ⇢ You accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?
All I know is it WON'T be @kittehexpress. She's already made it abundantly clear she will hide bodies for no one! 😂
🥤 ⇢ Recommend an author or fanfic you love
I know I recommend @orangesunsets12's Avalanche a lot...but I'm gonna do it again. It really is one of the best fics ever. It's just...it's got everything. It's fantastic. I love it.
❄️ ⇢ What's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?
Team Citizen Charlie's Angels AU. I have something in the works that kiiiiiiiiiind of fits that vibe, but not quite. Also, anything Team Citizen related with Linda as a member. I think they'd all work great together, and I'd love to see it happen. I'd also really love an AU that's mostly canon compliant and set in a middle/later season, but Ronnie's been alive and part of the Team Flash Family the whole time. I hadn't really given any thought to who I would want to read these kinds of fics by, but the first person to come to my mind is @kitkatt0430, who has a good handle on everyone's personalities and a really enjoyable writing style (I'm not dropping hints here, just making a statement—don't feel pressured to do anything about it 😅).
🧩 ⇢ What will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?
Not counting the things I won't click into in the first place here, no paragraph breaks is a big one. Death-panic-midnight writing is another. Y'know, when everything is SO DRAMATIC!!!! so early into a fic. Overuse of epithets and dramatic speech signifiers, or someone bursting into tears with no build up to it, so instead of feeling the emotions™️ with the characters, you're just overwhelmed because So Much Is Happening Right Now, and you don't even know what room everyone's in, or why character A is suddenly "roaring" at character B for what sounded like a reasonable question. Like, ease me into it or have the central character feel as bewildered as I do about what in heck is going on here.
🧃 ⇢ Share some personal lore you never posted about before
So when I was little (maybe 4 or 5), my family went out to a fancy restaurant, or at least what I considered to be fancy at the time. I don't remember the event that preceded it, but considering we were in a different town and with a big group of people from church, it was probably either a revival or choir tour (or, come to think of it, that might've been the night we saw the Gaithers in concert). It was a fun night out for the adults, but for us kids, it was tedious (the food was good, though, when it finally came out).
At some point, my older brother started entertaining himself with what little resources he had at the table. He got some paper, which might have been napkins or might have been a kids' menu, and folded it into a shape resembling a paper airplane, and poured some pepper into the groove down the middle. After getting me to look his way, he blew through his paper creation and sent pepper flying—right into my eyes.
He realized a split second too late that he'd fucked up when I started screaming and crying, getting everyone's attention at the table, and probably the whole restaurant. In the back of my mind—the part that wasn't overwhelmed by how badly my eyes stung—I was a little worried that my mom would be mad because I was being loud in a restaurant, and I would have to explain what happened. But of course, when you're screaming because you have pepper in your eyes and you can't even open them for how bad it hurts, it's obvious to everyone around you that something is wrong.
My mom very quickly led me into the bathroom, where she took me to the sink and started flushing the pepper out of my eyes, and it was the biggest relief when the pain started to fade and I could stand to open my eyes again. Everything was a little blurry at first, but that issue resolved itself soon enough.
My brother had to apologize, which he did profusely, because he didn't know that blowing pepper in my face was gonna do that, and my dad chewed him out, told him that he could have blinded me, and made him walk around with his eyes closed for a little while after we got home so he would "know what it's like to be blind" (not really the most accurate thing, but he made his point).
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Random thoughts on G-Witch
Honestly I really loved the whole run of G-Witch, but I wish it didn't de-fang some of the stuff it seemed to directly draw inspiration from, namely Universal Century's Anaheim Electronics and Armored Core: For Answer. I don't really know how to put it in my opening here, but I just wish they made it more of a compelling social commentary if they're going to be dealing in a corpo setting.
Spoilers obviously, and it's just mostly rambling on my part. Please don't take my opinions too seriously, they're just opinions.
I don't want to devalue the cool stuff it does with Utena homages with the Holder system and all, plus the really sad but heartfelt parts where the main two question their sexuality or whatever, that stuff's pretty good. But a lot of the Asticassia-related stuff just feels like a much safer, less interesting way of tackling the whole MS testing/selling idea compared to Anaheim Electronics. The difference between testing your suits through the OYW versus rich kids with no legitimate stakes other than more wealth is something to me, especially with the original metaphor and how it extends into later sequels, spinoffs, and fanfiction like Unicorn. I know this alone is petty, and maybe it is even with my other points. Still feel like it says nothing, while mostly just existing to support a different portion of the show, when it could potentially be a narrative about both.
I want to bring up that a lot of stuff like Peil Technologies and it's influence into the Space Assembly League is lifted seemingly directly from Armored Core: For Answer's Omer Technologies and League of Ruling Companies. Peil even galvanizes scientists from Vanadis Institute similar to Rayleonard! (There wasn't a good place to do it, but I feel like I need to mention how they got Wataru Inaba to design Peil's mobile suits, since he also did Rosenthal! The depth of the homages kinda go crazy.) Even with major elements of the show being taken wholesale from something that actually asks significant questions about the same topics G-Witch does (even has a "fuck them all ending"), I find that it fails to deliver by instead being one about bad actors and something about traumatized rich people leading to injustices, rather than critiquing the systems that allow that to occur.
This is just a guess, but I felt that in the show they originally planned to play with POV more. There are some bits in the first cour that are framed to be fun school club activities, but if you even think about it for a second they're a branch of a megacorporation advertising a war machine in a family friendly way to promote, medicine? Alongside the primary characters all being from prosperous backgrounds in a world that's run amuck with inequality, and the character framed as a villain who's seen as a hero to those on Earth, something interesting could've been done here! Two major events related to this happen, but quickly get glossed over due to some SEED-level MacGuffin spawning during the last portion of the show.
Thanks Rau.
One thing to note is that by the end, while Prospera gets to retire, Shaddiq just drew the wrong card in Monopoly. I would normally take this more in good-faith, but the framing of it just felt extremely wrong to me. It's taken more as a fact of the system, rather than something that can be fixed through stuff like action and education. But yeah, take this with a grain of salt since it's just my read on it.
Overall while the queer stuff in G-Witch is genuinely amazing, I do find the other social inequality stuff just completely lacking. It makes me wonder why they even included it outside of having the Utena stuff on a not!Aneheim colony through some Raven arena ranking system. I have a theory that some staffer, say Ookouchi, simply likes these works (check what he's worked on for example), but I really wish it paid homage to them by actually utilizing them.
I'm really hoping they make more anime in the Ad Stella timeline, since I think it has potential to be some of the most interesting Gundam stuff ever, especially since this sort of stuff doesn't get discussed in the series all too much. It's also the closest I'll get to any sort of Armored Core anime. Next time BL tho.
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The childhood magical race of people with wings I made up after the first time I watched Osmosis Jones were called Margins (exactly like the margins of a book) and it took me way too long to remember that but I didn’t feel particularly sad because I self-imposed a rule basically from the start that said you can’t be one after you turn 18 (because you’re not a kid anymore) so I’ve basically already mourned the death of the concept.
They were just a magical race of mostly girls who would go into worlds (books and shows) and fix the bad things that happened to people or just be friends with them without telling them they were Margins. It’s no surprise that I write fanfiction now. Honestly, I should have seen that coming.
The planet you had to portal to was called Domino and only one city was in the bubble of habitability because some Margin (maybe me? I don’t think I ever decided.) destroyed the place in a big damn magic burst and now nothing grows there. I think maybe sometimes we had to fight off black vines or something but I can’t be sure.
There was also a preliminary period before you became a Margin where you were just a fairy/pixie and had to use a wand. But I got really bored with that quickly cause it was just magic school for rules I was making up so I just made it part of my character lore that I had been too strong for wands and they exploded whenever I tried to use them.
Also my mentor figure was the statue of Zeus from Disney’s Hercules and Domino was somewhere near Mars because I decided Martians were cool and wanted to be their friend thanks to that one Tom and Jerry movie.
#my stuff#it took me ALL MORNING to remember that#and I need it wrote down somewhere#I was trying to remember it while I was literally still waking up#and when it got time to think of the word I froze and realized I didn’t remember it anymore#I sat there frozen#and sad tbh#like I’ve been plagued with thoughts of the MLP infection AU for two days#cause I don’t handle horror well at all#and this knocked me straight out of that#caught I mentally picture someone destroying bad thoughts with lasers sometimes#and it helps#I was brushing my teeth when it finally came back to me#I could almost feel my brain digging around in the storage in the back#like you want WHAT thought?#shit you haven’t asked for that in ages#go find it#wait right here I’ll#it felt like he was yelling words at me from the back of storage#cause I’d get flashes of the word
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Lomion son of Celegrom + appeal of Russingon including if they could have repented
So I have been reading a couple of posts on the various Tolkien tags and I want to share a few thoughts!
Firstly, I saw the post about what if Celegrom followed Aredhel and found her in Nan Elmoth. That's definitely an interesting AU and made me think about my Noldo Airship AU because in that AU verse, I have Celegrom straight up marrying Aredhel and the two of them having Lomion but who is not Maeglin because he has a different father.
He would still look largely the same because he is supposed to look mostly like a Noldo except for his eyes and so I imagined a Lomion son of Celegrom to look largely the same as canon Lomion except for his eyes. He would have Celegrom's eyes in my AU.
All that said, I wonder if Lomion would have a happier life as the son of Celegrom. I certainly think he would have a longer life in a no oath, no kinslaying AU verse. But I am not sure if he would happier because I think he would have a different set of problem.
Maybe I am misreading Aredhel here and being extremely unfair to Celegrom but I think both of them were kind of flighty and selfish. I think there is a chance that an Aredhel who is married to Celegrom might be a bit too enamoured with Celegrom to be as close to her son as Aredhel who was married to Eol. She would still love her son but I get the impression that canon Aredhel poured all her love into Maeglin because she stopped loving Eol. But an Aredhel in-love with Celegrom who isn't going slowly crazy because of the oath wouldn't have any reason to fall out of love with him and so just by having her heart divided, would not be as close to Lomion.
I could totally see Lomion growing up the Noldo equivalent of a latchkey kid because his parents have a tendency to go off hunting and stay on the hunt longer than they should. But I don't think it would do any long term harm.
Lomion wouldn't be as close to his mother as Maeglin in canon seemingly is but I think Lomion would be better for it. He would have his uncles, cousins and grandfathers, so would have a wider support network. I don't think he would develop any "evil in his heart" but he would find his parents, especially his father, cringe.
Also, he would have a dog or two! Maybe a cat. Can't you just imagine Lomion flying around in a forge Airship with a bunch of pets, with his ambitions going in a different direction where he wants to be a great smith and hunter.
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I also saw that post looking to explain to people who are surprised by Russingon popularity why Russingon is popular. I agree with the points raised but I think one that wasn't mentioned is that the core of Russingon is Fingon's rescue of Maedhros. I think the fact that it is an "acceptable" form of damsel-in-distress also plays a part in why Russingon is so popular.
Sometimes in life, you do need outside intervention to get you out of a bad situation. So while damsel-in-distress stories have fallen out of favour because they tend to primarily be male power fantasies with the damsel in question usually ending up as a reward. There is a reason why it was a popular troupe with a wide range of people.
Sometimes your situation is so hopeless, that you cannot escape it without outside intervention. So yeah, sometimes you do identify with the damsel-in-distress and that's why those stories enjoyed such a long period of popularity.
I feel that Russingon does scratch that damsel-in-distress itch some people might have but in an acceptable way. Especially since it is a temporary thing. Maedhros recovers enough to become the feared Lord of Himring. So you know that the distress was temporary. So you can identify with Maedhros without feeling like your keeping alive a harmful troupe.
Of course, the fact that Russingon is so, so tragic also helps their popularity because you want to give them happy endings or just wallow in the tragedy of it all!
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Finally, I have been reading a few fanfictions that seem to misunderstand what Feanor's fault actually was and seem to think the Valar would have exiled the Noldo just because they wanted to leave. Which just goes to show how good Morgoth's propaganda is because people still think the Valar were forcing the Noldo to remain in Valinor.
My interpretation of the story of Feanor is that he makes two huge mistakes following the death of the two trees,
He doesn't agree to let the Silmarils be destroyed to revive the two trees. Now we know it doesn't matter if he said yes or no because Morgoth has already taken the jewels. But the point of that scene was that he was supposed to say yes. There is reason to believe that Eru Illuvatar sent the inspiration for the Silmarils to Feanor because Eru Illuvatar knew what Morgoth was planning to do and wanted the lights of the two trees preserved. But Feanor failed to recognise that his part in the music of Arda was to preserve the light of the two trees within the Silmarils and allow them to be destroyed to revive the two trees when that became necessary. He rejected his role and that led him to commit the sin of swearing his oath.
I do think that some people today miss that fact that Feanor putting his creations above the lives of the children of Eru Illuvatar as he does with his oath is a sin. That's why he is banished even before he kills any Teleri. He loves the works of his hand so much, that he is willing to destroy the works of Eru Illuvatar for them. This is a sin and its all downhill from there!
Now could he and his sons have repented? I don't think Tolkien would create a world where anyone was just doomed. I think there was a way for Feanor and his sons to repent, even after all the kinslaying. But not even Maedhros did because they would have to humble themselves in a way that I don't think any of them could. They were just too proud.
Like, how could Maedhros repent for the 1st Kinslaying? The only way I can think of is that he goes to Elu Thingol and goes into a period of service to him. Elwe is technically the lord of all Teleri. So he was someone to whom reparation could be paid. But the chances of that happening is not high.
But it could be worth exploring though. Maybe one day I will write a story where Maedhros and Fingon (he took part in the 1st kinslaying too) offer their services to Elu Thingol as reparations for the 1st kinslaying and Maedhros makes a declaration to Eru Iluvatar that acknowledges that he was wrong to swear the oath with intentions not pursue its fulfilment. That could potentially get them both a happy ending. But that's a lot of humble pie for both of them to eat!
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