#life just sucks sometimes

[regular-lord-reckoner]

been having a bit of a hard time lately and the hits just keep coming because today our family friend that's staying with us, his wife got into a car accident

she's okay, thank god and so were the other people but they had to tow her car and she was really shaken up understandably

everyone's okay now but just...jesus christ, dude

also, i know i've been absent on here lately but i'm still around, just going through it. eventually i'm gonna get an actual break and will return in full but for now i'm just going to cross my fingers the rest of this year can be a little more gentle

[sandinthepipes]

Desperately taking applications for somebody to makes my heart pitter patter because waking up from a dream about being cute with my past love is sad.

[loveauntmambajamba]

Dear Beloved,

Hard times come and go, don’t be surprised by them. It’s not because of something you did wrong, they’re just part of life.

Love,

Aunt Mamba Jamba

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

probably will be FORCED by Pomp And Circumstance to go to the CLOWN HOSPITAL, for a CLOWN INJURY (may or may not be An ALLEGEDLY Fractured Foot...a MOURNFUL MALADY incurred in the most PATHETIC and LAPSIDAISICAL Fashion of TRAGICALLY UNFASHIONABLY Events......

Anyway. Forgot what I was saying. Buy me 1/25th of an x-ray or whatnot I guess

[gayeddieagenda]

i know we all joke about buck and eddie and their coparenting of chris, them babytrapping each other and this that and the other, but they've never had 2 navigate their relationship without chris being central to it. which on the one hand is like. cute. chris is such a cornerstone of what buck and eddie both mean to each other, and they both obviously love him separate from their relationship with each other ('do you know how much christopher misses you?'), but also it's genuinely interesting to think about them navigating what that relationship looks like without christopher around. partly because i think sometimes they use chris as shorthand or an excuse between them ('do you know how much christopher misses you?' but bass boosted). eddie defines buck's role in chris's life on paper, bc he can't define buck's role in eddie's life. how much they both love chris is obvious and it's a safe place for how they feel about each other to land. and it's interesting 2 think about them being put in a position to navigate that relationship without the buffer or go-between of christopher for the first time since they met

[creativesplat]

Sometimes I think about how Ford bested Stan at everything in the show and think about the episode Little Dipper. 

Stan knows he’s the dummer sweatier version of Ford, who rides on his brother’s coattails and cheats and lies - he is told this all his life. That hurts, of course it does.

The real blows are on Stan’s home turf though.

Stan used to draw comics, he does taxidermy, he's the artistic 'free spirit', but Ford does it better. Ford’s illustrations in the journals are lifelike and beautiful with an artistic flare that Stan doesn’t think he can compare to. 

But hey, at least he’s better at hitting things. It’s not an amazing talent and he probably shouldn’t brag about it, but at least there's that. He used to be a boxer, he had to use street smarts and violence during his life on the road. That’s something Ford doesn’t have. 

But then Ford comes out of the portal. He attacks Stan and wins. He’s better at punching. 

Stan is better at people - more charismatic - but when he runs for mayor, Mabel and Dipper ask Ford to help them mind control him because he is obviously going to loose. Even when it’s about people, about charisma, Ford helps Mabel and Dipper outdo him. 

Pacifica says Ford is more attractive than Stan in the Lost Legends - you can bet that wasn’t an unknown opinion. 

Stan isn’t smart but Ford is a genius. 

Stan has artistic talents but Ford’s are better. 

Stan used to be better than Ford at boxing. Ford can now easily overpower him. 

Even in suffering and lifestyle (and trust me twins compare that sort of thing) Ford has beaten him. 

Stan’s homeless for 10 years, Ford is dimensionless for 30. 

Stan’s made powerful enemies (aka Rico), Ford made the most powerful enemy in the entire universe (Bill).

Stan spends 30 years of his life on the reconstruction of a portal to save Ford, Ford spends 30 years of his life on the construction of a super weapon to save the multiverse. 

Stan (the cheat) is wanted in multiple countries, Ford (the hero) is one of the most wanted men in the entire multiverse. 

No wonder Stan thinks he’s the worse twin. In universe the show just keeps telling him that he’s the lesser twin of a brilliant dangerous long suffering hero. He can't win.

[doctorho]

this one is for eveyone who needs some extra love around these times.

Viktor knows better than he'd like that life isn't always...pretty. Or simple, or easy, or fair. No matter how hard most of Piltover seemed to pretend that there was something magical in the midwinter turnpoint that made everyone suddenly forget the suffering and misery and the complexities of real-life situations, he knows that's not the case.

Which is why he doesn't ask stupid questions when you stay at the Academy over winter break. He doesn’t pry; he doesn’t need to. It's evident enough in the way you preoccupy yourself with work that it's something you'd rather not discuss. You're focusing harder than usual, and he's familiar enough with what that precarious, tight-knuckle grip on being okay.

And Viktor?

Well. Viktor's more than happy to be a distraction.

When he gets to the lab, mid-morning, you're already there. He's not exactly surprised; he'd anticipated this. Maybe even hoped for it. He'd worked with you for a while now and grown exponentially more attached to your company - not that he'd told you the extent of his affections. But he'd get to that. Hopefully.

He came prepared with two warm drinks and still-steaming pastries, and he silently starts unloading those to the common desk that had been designated as the makeshift kitchen of the room.

"Good morning," he says casually, "I brought breakfast." He thinks of adding if you want some, but upon reflection, doesn't. There's a fine line between respecting someone's free will and pushing them to make good choices, and he's currently erring hard to the side of I don't know if you've eaten anything yet today but you definitely should.

You only hum in response, not lifting your eyes off your current project.

In response to this, he hums back and tilts his head, studies the organized mess on your desk; circuit boards, either half-assembled or half-taken apart, he's not sure, stripped wires, a steaming soldering iron. Your hands, shaking a little.

He places the drink intended for you on your desk, just annoyingly out-of-reach, and waits for you to look up.

"When was the last time you ate something?" he asks, holding up the pastry now that he has your attention.

"Why does that matter?" you ask, reaching for the takeaway cup on the edge of your desk. Viktor leans the handle of his cane to block your reach, which makes you look up at him. Properly.

"Just trying to determine if I should make you take a lunch break while I'm bothering you, or if the pastry will suffice."

He lifts his eyebrows, waiting for you to answer.

You shift in your seat. He can hear your back crack in several places, and not in the pleasant type of way.

"Last night," you answer, leaning back with a sigh, then quietly add, "I think."

Viktor reaches over to turn off your soldering iron. "Lunchbreak it is, then. These can be dessert."

"I'm fine-" you start, and he lifts an eyebrow.

"I don't believe you," he says, completely casually, "I think you're pushing through low blood sugar to get this-" he gestures towards the desk, "finished, and I can tell you it's much easier to make mistakes when you aren't thinking clearly."

When you're quiet, he continues, picking up your coat and offering it to you. "You can trust me on this," he says, "I have more than enough experience."

You take a deep breath and sigh it out, feeling somewhat like a toddler.

"I promise you can go right back to poking at this later." He adds, and you slowly take the jacket from him.

"Good," he says, "I know a place."

It's a careful dance, and he knows this; he doesn’t want to push you. But he's been there, and he doesn’t want you to suffer more than absolutely necessary. And he really does know a place.

He re-packs the drinks and the pastries, and you follow him to a nearby cafe-and-drink-cart that's serving small steaming dishes outside. They're serving small steaming cups of - stew? Soup? And warm bread filled with different things, and you hadn't really noticed it before, but now that you were looking at - and smelling - the food, you were starving.

By the time you've registered the selection, he's already ordered for the both of you, and then the guy at the cart is offering you a brown paper bag and Viktor is moving again, and you take a few hurried steps to catch up with him.

"Where are we going?"

You can see him smile before he answers.

"Well," he says, "I was thinking we could take advantage of the great hall being empty, and eat there." He turns to look at you with an eyebrow raised, "I can only imagine how displeased the Academy Staff would be if we risked dirtying their marble floors with common food."

"Oh, really, you can only imagine?"

He shrugs, grinning. "Are you insinuating I have experience with matters such as these?"

"Yes," you answer, opening the paper bag to study its contents while you walked.

He hums in answer. "I am shocked by your accusations." He says, then, clearly fighting a smile, "I would never get caught breaking such a boring rule."

You smile now, too. "Right," you answer, "only the interesting ones."

The way he glances at you and smiles is more than enough of a response.

He stops at one of the long tables at the grand hall, and as he shrugs off his jacket and sits down, you place down the paper bag and do the same. He starts unpacking the contents of the bag, focused, placing down steaming bowls with a spicy scent to them, paper-covered wraps of something, utensils, and smaller bowls of... something colorful. Spices? Toppings?

Viktor opens the containers one by one, making the contents of the single takeaway bag look like a pretty impressive feast.

And you study him as he moves. Careful, confident in his movements, calm. While your insides felt like they were trying to hide, and had felt like that for... a good while now, he was calm like any other day. A rock-solid presence in the otherwise empty room.

"Are you not going to ask me?" you ask, "why I'm working through the winter break."

Viktor's only imminent reaction is the gentle lift of a single eyebrow.

"No," he answers, casually, and it sounds simple when he says it like that.

He meets your eyes, and that feels simple, too; because he is here, too.

It doesn't have to be any more complicated than that. He unwraps a folded paper napkin with careful fingers, and then places a steaming-soft bread in front of you.

You look at him for a moment, and then take a bite of the bread. It is soft and warm and heavenly, and when you taste the stew-soup-something, it's like it warms you down to your soul. You eat in silence; but it feels like there's a gentle bubble of understanding surrounding you.

You hold the warm bowl, and slowly, your hands shake less and less. The tension around your head gives away a little, too.

"Do you like the snow?" Viktor asks, and you follow his gaze out the window.

"I probably shouldn't," he continues, "the cold isn't exactly gentle on me. But it is pretty, I can't deny that."

You hum in answer. "Yeah," you agree with a small sigh, "it is beautiful."

His eyes meet yours, and he tilts his head.

"Do you want to break another rule?" he asks, something michievous curling at the end of his words.

You tilt your head in response. "A more interesting one?"

"Infinitely," he responds with a smile, and you're already on your feet.

And that's how you end up breaking into the roof of the Academy with him. Or, it's probably not technically breaking, since he has the keys, but you definitely aren't supposed to be in there, so that's what it feels like.

It also feels... breathless. And not just because it feels illegal, but it's... it's beautiful, and he holds your hand in the dark stairway and doesn't let go when he guides you to the expanse of the roof, and there's snow floating down all around you-

and for a moment, it feels like you're the only two people in the world, surrounded by a gentle blanket of snow and silence.

Or... not-silence. There is a song softly floating through the air, like it's being reflected in the snowflakes all around you.

And Viktor is offering you a hand.

You furrow your brows as your head catches up with your heart. "Are you asking me to dance?"

"Would you say yes if I was?"

And that was the question, wasn't it;

would you?

Your head tries to butt in with should you, but... something still-soft and light in your heart comes in way too solid with a yes.

Yes, you would.

So you take his hand, and meet him halfway to an embrace. He pulls you close to his chest, and the dance is as gentle as the snowfall around you; just a soft sway from side to side, breathing in sync with the music.

And Viktor isn't sure if this is a good idea, but... you look like you're further away from that edge now, no-longer shaking, and... he hated seeing you in your head that deep, and if he could do anything to help you find your way back to yourself, he'd do that.

It feels a little selfish, this dance, but... it was difficult to justify that when you were in his arms, breathing calm and even.

"I really am fine," you tell him quietly, and he runs a hand up your back slowly. You swallow. "Or I will be, at least."

"I know," he breathes out, and he means it.

You close your eyes, and believe it.

[logosbot-tm]

Hey yall, let's actually just leave the canary curse behind. Lizzie was the first permadeath in Secret Life. Not Mumbo.

We can move on from stuff, yall know that right?

[gideonisms]

As always wishing there was a socially acceptable way to simply say "I'm about to get weird and act strange for a little while and it will look unsettling from the outside but I promise it doesn't hurt anything and I'll be back to normal later" or "it is going to take me so long to complete this minor task that doesn't really affect anyone else, but I promise it will get done eventually, all is well" or even "the way I am doing this will seem counterintuitive to you but trust me that there's a good reason"

[couch-house]

essential part of my stc sonic characterization is that hes gay and so so repressed about it. hes got some internalized shit to work through and it really bothers him when gossip rags start suggesting he's gay for not publicly dating any women. so he does that. for funsies, i designed sonic's six comphet girlfriends, and yeah, he's a piece of shit to all of them.

btw those lines next to them are sonics relative height. short king.

[lunarharp]

if i just told you i love you would this world change

[skunkes]

that "i wish that being aware of a mindset being ridiculous would make it easier to snap out of it" post hitting hard every single day

[celestial-artisan]

Vox, when he was a fresh overlord: Bye Alastor! Bye Carmilla! Bye Zestial! Bye Rosie! Bye Alastor! Velvette: You said 'Bye Alastor' twice. Vox: I like Alastor.

[buglvr24]

why why why is putting clothes away and keeping my room clean so difficult. it literally feel torturous sometimes. i know i need to try and do difficult things. i was trying to clean and i was like “i wish i could just have two laundry baskets. one for dirty clothes and one for clean.”

and my mom said, “you can’t do that”

so i said “well why not if it would help me keep my room cleaner and work for me”

and she said “well then what’s the point of having a closet and drawers, and your clothes would be all wrinkled, and you’d never be able to find anything.”

she’s right and i’d love to have everything put perfectly away but it’s just so much sometimes

[kairithemang0]

Man, Curt's got internalized homophobia so bad that for the first 3 months of their relationship he was convinced Owen was straight before Owen had to scream it in his face that he was gay and then Curt spent another 3 months still calling himself straight to Owen's face and Owen's so sick of it like Curt you 2 are actively fucking EVERY TIME YOU SEE EACH OTHER. AND YOU ARE VERY CLEARLY INTO IT. YOU ARE NOT STRAIGHT SIR STOP LYING TO YOURSELF

internalized homophobia agent curt mega ily