#life is fucking weird sometimes
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Latest Yikes development in life: My Nemesis is definitely my neighbor.
The good news is, between the two of us, I'm the one that's good at not being weird about seeing each other in public.
Grateful I'm unflappable, but I'd be more grateful if I never see him or another nemesis again, thanks
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I don't think I ever wanted to escape my mind. I mean I do. But I don't know if it was a goal or a side effect.
#I mean if you cone so you want me to introduce you to him?#I can just be like this is your other grandchild....are you sure I'm your favorite now Arthur#krayzie still dropping that good shit though#in some eay cec is fully in krazy#he understood music.....too well#positove parts of my early uobringing#the music#I forgot I have always been addicted to music#it's like a good addiction though#This must be the dofference between listening to thr music and hearing it through#look that bench shot....just ahut up youre so fucking beautiful#if this person is legit I am worried they might be mentally retarded#life is fucking weird sometimes#why the fuck did you make such a big deal on running arch Linux#gmail on arch Linux#you're such a shit making me go into the email#cook essentials is a hobby#it is fun though#Lord knows it is hard for me to find many outlets anymore#I look at my old wreatling figures#so many levels of insanity from GTE#I have this feeling I am gonna be getting sprung by someone at aome point#so there's this girl and Everytime I run into her I have the Hardest TIME#and also a partner that knows what I expect on a new level will be excellent for making more cummies#HI I'm Enoch and I like it when women extol their virtues#fucking spin ach#that is a form of get spun on Crystal#I am sorry I didn't have a larger grasp of coincidence at such a young age#if I could have found a way to keep you I would have#it's like..... she's perfect and it's only temporary
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WINTER BREAK
much like marriage matches, the stakes are pretty high for getting into the cardinalate. you might be a little on edge if the brother that's been earmarked for the role isn't really jazzed about the whole thing, in addition to trying to convince the pope that it's in his best interest to let this happen.
A Renaissance Court: Milan Under Galeazzo Maria Sforza, Gregory Lubkin
eventually I'm going to get the whole cast of sforza siblings drawn. there's just. a lot of them.
#in true oldest sibling/head of the house fashion galeazzo will continue to bring up ascanio's early clerical life up until he dies lmao#anyway ascanio's got a weird thing going on with fathers. there's that portrait story and also whatever the fuck was up with#ludovico like i get that it was probably his way of going heyyyyy! look at me! i'm just a little guy! i'm not a threat! but it's also very#veryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. something#italian renaissance tag#komiks tag#lmao i finally decided to bite the bullet and make a whole separate blog for a future sforza comic like at this point im locked in and#committed to the sforzas.#MOVING BACK TO ASCANIO it's kind of. uh. sometimes i'll read a chapter of the biography and it'll describe something that's#very obviously a major depressive episode and i'm like. man. look at that. you gave a perfectly good would be dynast a major#depression disorder. imagine the problems he would've caused if they had anti depressants back then
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A doodle of a couple misc hcs I have about Gman's anatomy
#half life#gman#g-man#body horror#eye contact tw#shmorps art#My mindset with this hc was “what if you like. somehow cut him and there's just no blood”#“how freaky would that be”#Also I like the idea that Gman makes his eyes all glowy to fuck with people sometimes#Kinda like an intimidation tactic#Other times it's just a subconsious thing that happens sometimes when he's stressed out#I don't think he stresses out very often though. He doesn't feel like the type to be scared by much of anything#I just wanted to draw his goofy eyes again#I also hc that even if a limb is removed from him he can still move it#And also reattach it if necessary#so thats fun#How does he function without blood you may ask? Who knows. It's not meant to make sense#Eldritch horrors for the win#I dunno. he's neat#edit to elaborate cause I have thoughts: this is purely for his human disguise#In reality he's something else mimicking human anatomy through and through#Like. even the weird muscles are just fabrications. his entire human appearance is false#As for what he truly looks like. it's unknown and incomprehensible
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if i just told you i love you would this world change
#witch hat tag#orufrey#these kinda suck lol i feel like i cant draw right now *irritated sigh* BUT I FEEL EMOTIONS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#if you are gay go watch good omens season 2 right now. NO YOU DONT KNOW THO!!!!!!!!!#i know being this affected by good omens is probably cringe. I dont care any more. the last 1 minute of good omens season 2 was#some of the most affecting acting i've ever seen in my life. sometimes someone acts with the force as if their entire career led to that#like during the credits part the very end im not even talking about before that. holy god#aziraphale i know everything about you. i know what you are feeling right now. i can see everything on your face. we're going to make it#ER.... NOT THAT THIS HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS POST. IT'S NOT SPOILERS !!!!!!!!!!!!!#I JUST FEEL THOROUGHLY CHANGED !!!!!!!!!!! SHIT GETS REAL FROM NOW ON.. LIKE IN GENERAL! IN MY LIFE!#tormented gay love tormented gay love TORMENTED GAY LOVE TORMENTED GAY LOVE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#btw the first 3 images were drawn earlier with an entirely different feeling and an entirely different mood.#Why do you keep pulling away from me?#It is because i love you that i do this#the lyrics from one of my japanese orufrey songs (A SONG THAT THE CREATOR LISTENS TO!!!!) led to feelings#“あなたが知らない私を残さず見ててほしいの” but i'm not translating it cause it just sounds weird. if with his eyes oru's asking “WHY don't you want#to let me in? to see all of you?“ those lyrics are like ”I actually want you to see every last bit of the parts of me you don't know“#oru you have no idea how much i want to lay bare my whole soul for you#maybe it's an alternate version of chapter 40. to me#i need to draw something really fucking good or i'm not going to forgive myself. i will not rest in this life#until i have made the orufrey that fully satisfies me nor until i have seen what the manga is leading to#NO STORY MEANS ANYTHING WITHOUT TORMENTED GAY LOVE AT THE HEART OF IT. THATS THE HEART OF THIS WORLD!!!!!#........... so Hi im normal :) haha *goes and finally makes breakfast*
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You know when I said I'd make a Floory rug..?
So yeah, I did it.
This is your calling card to do the same. Make a rug, I triple-dog dare you. Don't know how?
Here's a breakdown of how I made The Floor:
Before fully getting into it, in that rb I said:
We could have so much mroe than what the shop offers- it could be glorious. I couldn't get tuft chin hair or flower power blush floor with $45 dollars at their store, but I could get it irl for the low low price of like a week-straight worth of work.
Ha... haha.... No. It took a lot longer than that. MUCH longer than that.
This is a little jitter lapse with the dates I worked on him. In each pic I spent around 2-3 hours working on him, except the last few in August. Those I spent like 3-5 hours on because I needed him to be finished before the semester started. My goal was to get him finished and sitting in my dorm, and I fucking did :)
= - - =
Starting from the top though, since I had the design after making the rb post linked, I decided on the size. I was watching the video showcasing him as a rug, and I gauged he was about a yard wide, so I based my measurements on that. I knew that I was going to needle punch him instead of latch hook him because I felt the punching would be faster. And well... I've done punch needling before this project so I figured it'd be faster than learning a new technique.
Here's what I mean, for a frame of reference.
Since I went the punching route, I knew he'd need a frame to be punched out on. To keep the fabric taut and all that jazz. Luckily for me I had a bunch of wood hanging around from an old bed's slots, so I made the frame out of that. Similarly, I had a bunch of fabric lying around.
Word of advice: DO NOT USE NORMAL FABRIC WITH A NORMAL PUNCH NEEDLE YOU WILL TEAR THAT SHIT UP. Learned that the hard way-
The fabric I used was NOWHERE near "loose" enough for a big punch needle. Loose in the sense that it has more holes in it. On the left is the fabric you're supposed to use when making a rug (Monk's Cloth), and on the right is the fabric I used (pic not of the exact cloth but close).
Notice that the holes on the right are a LOT smaller... I did not realise this mattered until I'd already primed the frame and drew him on with a sharpie.
Bask in his glory.
To give a breif on how I did this, I hooked my 'puter up to the TV with an HTMI, opened the image I had of him (it's a bit different than the of doodle in the rb b/c I wanted brighter colours), and literally held the wooden frame with the fabric on it up to my TV and traced it. I traced it from the inside first so that it would be mirrored on the side I would be punching on. If you draw the design you want to punch on the side you're punching on please mirror the image first.
Forgot to say, yes I had a staple gun too, so that didn't add into the price of making this Floory rug.
After this point, it was pretty smooth sailing, sorta... It would've been if I'd bought a thinner yarn for the main body. See, in this whole experiment, I was very dead set on keeping this project under $45 so I bought a large ball of cheap yarn. I tried to gauge how much I would need with the needle height (about 3/4 inch I used), but I got scared and just wound up buying this giant green ball that I needed to de-ply to work with properly. You could kinda see it in the jitter-lapse below, but yeah.
Before punching with this Red Heart size 4 yarn, I had to separate 1 of the ply FOR THE ENTIRE RUG. I had to pull out a substantial amount from the big skein, de-ply it, roll it back into a ball, then needle punch with it.
And why did I have to do this? BECAUSE I WAS USING THE WRONG FABRIC AND NEEDLE PUNCH FOR MAKING A WHOLE ASS RUG!!
I didn't know that the needle punch needle I had was an embroidery one, NOT a normal needle punch needle. Notice that it's small, and embroidery floss is the thing going through the hole and NOT size 4 yarn. And for the right, notice that it's also kinda small but the needle itself is a lot thicker, the channel that the yarn is going through is wider than the yarn itself- and that it's YARN AND NOT EMBROIDERY FLOSS.
Needless to say, it was aggravating and made the process take a lot longer than it should've. It wasn't impossible, I mean, you see him finished above and below, but it made it WAY more tedious, since a the thicker yard, even after being de-ply'd, still got stuck in the needle punch needle. After wresling with that off and on for... what about 4 months give or take, it was on to gluing and backing.
Going on the record to say that Tuft the World, Sam Made That, Shop Last., AJ MAKES, and BrokenBlvds' thread were the backbone of my glue searching, and rug-making experience. If you genuinely want to make a tuff rug (hand-punched or otherwise) their guides are so helpful <3
But for real, finding the right glue was a lot harder than anticipated. Many people said to use Roberts 3095 adhesive for rugs along with another glue, but I didn't have the funds for that, nor was planning to buy a whole gallon of rug glue I'd only for 1 project. I took up BrokenBlvds thread as my glue of choice, even though they were asking for something better. So far (about 3 months of use and a couple cleanings) the Roberts 6700 glue is holding up fine. The thing that isn't, is the yarn. After one vacuuming, fuzzies have been obscuring his eyes and junk. It's not bad, or even that noticeable, but I do miss his original state. That's what I get for using cheap yarn. I still love him to death tho.
Side tangent aside, I also used the 6700 because it has less of an odour, and I planned on bringing him to my dorm right when he was dry. While that was drying outside, I worked on the backing. The OG Floory rug had a nonslip backing attached (if I remember correctly), but mine does not! In similar fashion to the fabric of the rug itself, I also used left over fabric as his backing. For structure, I used some of my father's old uniform pants, and to make it more like dirt, I used an old bed sheet.
I stitched them together in a quilt-ish design so that the layers would be attached throughout the rug. That was a rush, but when I finished it I went out back and stuck it on there with a bit more Roberts 6700. When it was cured enough to come inside (3 days after gluing) I worked on the nonslip portion.
Had a rectangle of rug grip mat stuff, stuck some pins around the edges of Floory, traced the pins then cut it out. It's a little hard to see but looking up top, you can see a few of the pins sticking out around his edge.
After getting that, I released him from the frame, "pinked" his edges, and whip-stitched the edge shut.
That hurt my thumb SO FUCKIN BAD- Had to have pliers next to me for most of the whip-stitching, because it was so hard to get through the glue with a blunt needle. I used a blunt needle 'cause it was the only needle I had that could hold the yarn, and to keep in the spirit of the experiment... No way I was buying a needle when I had a needle that could technically work.
Now, in the name of the whole experiment, let me do a breakdown of the things I bought verse used:
Items Bought for project:
Green Red Heart Yarn - $15
Roberts 6700 Carpet Adhesive - $9
Wrong sized punch needle - $3
Total spent on Floory rug: $27
Items used in general:
9 different colours of yarn
About 1.5 yards of polyester/cotton blend fabric
1/2 of a flat sheet from a bedsheet set
1 pair of uniform pants
1 embroidery needle punch needle
4 (roughly) yard-long wood slots from a bed
Nails and screws (and the tools for those)
1 Staple gun & about 70 staples (I fucked up a lot of them & restapled)
A sewing machine
Pinking shears
Tapestry needles
etc...
Total if I had to buy all that: More than $45!
I put the lists side by side to say that I know saying "Oh just make it yourself" is easier said than done. If I didn't have all the shit I did, I would've just bought him myself like any sane person would. But no, I had the will and the materials, and I wanted The Floor in my dorm. And now here he is, along with my crazy ass Jhariah x hfjone bag...
That's for a different post- but forgive me, it's the most recent photo I have of him.
All and all, I had a good time working on him! It was very therapeutic to hunch on the floor of my living room and stab fabric a gazillion times to make The Floor from Inanimate Insanity. It drove me a bit inanimate insane, but honestly, I wake up every morning and see his face and it makes things better. So in reality, I guess you could say it was the friends I made along the way- thanks for watch
#I SPENT SO FUCKING LONG ON THIS GUY AAAHHHH#I still love him to death#I finished him in august- and yeah I'm posting this in december#sometimes life gets in the way of things#life in this case being fuckin' college#I hate it#but oooohh the freedom and having the space to actually put a floory rug without worry of him being ruined is grand <3#I'm so serious. if you have the materials and the energy to make that weird piece of fandom decor do it.#you will not regret it.#anyway tag time#needle punch#rug tufting#needle punch resources#diy#diy projects#fibre arts#rug making#inanimate insanity#osc#ii floory#ehh exaggerates
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I'm so fucking done with social media.
the amount of people who are desensitized to BULLYING AND FUCKING DEATH THREATS IS INSANE??
I've seen it on tumblr, tik tok and even insta. it's just people hating on eachother under the mask of anonymity, and I just can't fathom how some people genuinely think these things are ok to do.
I do not care what a person has said on social media, if it was a joke or if it was just a genuine opinion, it is NEVER ok to send death threats or threats of violence to anyone ever.
I've seen people with "minor" in their bio, clearly stating that they're a teen get death threats and bullied online simply for liking or disliking a character from a certain fandom. and the people doing all this shit think this is all ok because "they're simply teaching them that it's wrong! "
NO, THESE ARE TEENAGERS! SOMETIMES EVEN FLAT OUT CHILDREN. THEY'RE VULNERABLE AND IF YOU TELL THEM THIS SHIT THEN THERE'S A BIG POSSIBILITY THAT THEY'RE LYING BREATHLESS ON THE GROUND THE NEXT DAY!!
if you've ever sent genuine death threats and bullied someone online, fuck you. this is supposed to be a safe space for people, for fandoms, and still I see all this bullshit
do better.
#ughhhdhdhdj#i hate this fucking world sometimes#the earth is so fucking small compared to everything else#we dont fukcing matter#why r u telling people that they should die instead of enjoying the life the universe gave you#fandom#cats of tumblr#the secret society of weird cereal consumers
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Women, so pretty, so shaped, i am so lesbian,,,
#im also incredibly dysphoric tonight#but i was told by my coworker im incredibly feminine by her earlier#and i mean yeah#.....#i am a tall weird internet woman who likes to draw#so funny how i thought i was bi#I'm just really into women...#my ex is a trans guy and he told me he thinks im lesbian and i had a “holy fuck this explains so much moment”#we broke up but we still have a weird queer relationship outside of social heteronormative norms that is hard to explain and only we#can really understand#im not into men because you know#im a lesbian#had a weird period in my life when i was dating a guy and said im a lesbian and i felt sooooo scared#turns out when youre on meds and your brain is working right you just stop caring about such things#i went on a parade wearing big lesbian flag and girls loved it :)#i dont really know if i ever want to date anyone again#but i think if you look at my art you can really tell my sexuality quite easily lolol#funny how love can be so complicated sometimes#i mean it was kind of inevitable we break up cause we're kind of incompatible but tbh#it was better for us#hehe
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"She liked him since the beginning! The ship was hinted at the beginning!"
AH!! How come people are so stuck on mentioning just how Ochako feels and not Izuku?
It's like some of you can't process that regardless of whether she had a crush on him or not, which again isn't a bad thing, her crush shouldn't be the only thing Ochako stands for.
It's not a personality trait and I hate it people will treat it like it is.
If anything, it just feels weird!
And I ask again, then what about Izuku? Oh, what did he not like her in the beginning? Or it's just being realizing that his mannerisms is that of a person being nervous and/or embarrassed?
Or does it not matter because "He's a guy, he's gonna have the girl anyways, so who cares if he develops romantic feelings for Ochako"?
And I wouldn't say Ochako even liked Izuku in the beginning romantically. In fact, I would say she started to like him that way during the Final War Arc.
Saying she liked him in the beginning would imply she liked him since they met.
Oh, please, the word "crush" didn't come up until season 3 during the Provisional License Exam arc. And how that scene played out, let's be real, Ochako believing she had a crush was enforced by Mina. Someone is obsessed with the idea of love. That's whose word is to be believed? Are you joking?
And I said this before, as big as Iida is, people be acting like he's invisible. Mina brought him up to in that conversation as, hello, Ochako hung around him a lot, too. Izuku just so happen to be who Ochako's attention went to because he was right in her line of sight... while practicing moves inspired by Iida!!
Now, do I think Ochako confessing her feelings undeveloped her growth? No. She accomplished what she wanted to do and I don't see Izuku making her a wife at the end. I see them deciding to reconcile a bond. Do I think Toga was forgotten? Uh, no. She is drawn right there and been on Ochako's mind for nearly a whole damn decade.
Everything about this chapter is up for debate. We don't know if that ship is truly canon and who said it has to be? And if it is, who is stopping you from not shipping it?
I know some people hate to see that IzuOcha handhold as the last shot and I get it. But I wouldn't be too pressed about given it's a part of an aftermath. You can just pretend the epilogue doesn't exist. Chapter 430 is still the complete story. You don't have to read the epilogue to fully understand the story.
Epilogues typically are just added ending scenes to show a glimpse into the future and/or to tie up loose ends. And honestly, MHA didn't need it. This was just something to have.
What I do know is I'm not on anyone's side.
I find funny that people who don't ship BakuDeku was quick to be like "I only see BakuDeku as platonic, the shippers really want them to be romantic, they're like brothers". But if anyone even implies that maybe the ending could be Izuku and Ochako rekindling their friendship, it's "how dare you, Ochako said she loved him".
Again, what about Izuku?! DID HE LIKE HER FROM THE BEGINNING?!
If BakuDeku are "like brothers", then bring up how Izuku and Ochako look like relatives. Having the same face shapes and whatnot.
Look, both sides are wrong. The behavior is ridiculous. Attacking and harassing each other over characters some of you clearly don't really care about unless it is for shipping.
I know the story isn't flawless, what story is, but it's not hard to actually read and try to understand what these characters are all about.
I'm not an expert on these characters, I'm not. But I adore them and regardless of how the writing is, I like to read their arcs and understand them better.
And there's no need to point at someone and fire lasers to do that.
If you ship BakuDeku, ship it. If you ship IzuOcha, ship it. No one is fucking stopping you. Heck, the story shouldn't stop you.
But all of this ship war bullshit is stupid. The official epilogue ain't even out yet, but here y'all go wanting to argue and argue and argue and argue and harass and harass and argue and act the fucking donkey.
"Well BakuDeku shippers are toxic!"
"IzuOcha shippers are toxic!"
No, look in the mirror, sit back and do some self-reflection.
Come December, the story will be done, finished, published, sold, another one in the "Well, that manga is finished" collection.
#like once more 98% of the fandom has unsurprisingly disappointed me#honestly the whole ochako likes him thing sometimes infuriates me because how the characters and the fandom act#reminds me of how being girl people can't be normal when there's a girl and a boy in the same space#and if you had a crush? it's like that's all people want to bring up and it's fucking weird and invasive even joke or not#so what if a girl has a crush? i don't see people making boys having a crush their whole life story#crushes are normal and can play a part in one discovering themselves#but if you're going to only acknowledge someone having a crush you're doing no one favors#like let's not forget ochako was established to be someone who wanted to be a hero first hm?#i don't care if you're a bkdk or izch shipper if you annoy me you annoy me and frankly a lot of you have i don't discriminate#just kiya's thoughts#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#uraraka ochako#ochako uraraka#midoriya izuku#izuku midoriya
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saying "if aroace people can date, then can lesbians date men?" is absolutely aphobic narrative btw!
#sorry just have to say this lol#so tired of people generalizing all aroace people as romance averse#its absolutely erasure of the rest of the spectrum#the top tweet isnt so bad depending on who theyre talking about#if a character ACTUALLY is canonically romance/sex aversed then yea its weird to erase that#but if they're canonically AROACE and you go 'erm that character cannot date or have sex🤓☝️' ur being aphobic as fuck#the 'shown no attraction to anyone' part kind of throws me off there#i hate when people say 'well this character didnt have feelings for anyone in the one year time span of the show so theyre romance aversed-#and nobody can ship them or else i'll harass u and subtweet u!1!!'#like. a characters life may not involve sex or romance at all fucking times. that does not make them aroace.#ur headcanon- even if you think its based on a logical conclusion- is not reality#sometimes yall just be making shit tf up#complaining about 'fanon' as if ur not the one pretending ur hc is real and treating everyone else like theyre the bad ones#but if that tweet is just saying that IN ADDITION to theyre canon identity then yea. thats valid.#their* </3#obviously the reply is fucking disgusting#i couldnt reply directly cuz my twitter is priv#people will say this kind of shit to ME- AN AROACE PERSON#u preach about aro/ace erasure but when an actual aroace walks in you tell them their way of being aroace is wrong#not everyone is the fucking same.#non-partnering aroaces deserve more rep but telling partnering aroaces that their way of being aroace is wrong is genuinely horrific#like actually fuck u#aromantic#asexual#aroace#arospec#meowing (yapping)
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The majority of the sex scenes in modern day Choices would be about 1000000x better if they just cut down on all the damn talking
#choices#choices stories you play#playchoices#choices app#I swear it feels like MC and the LI are doing more talking than fucking sometimes#maybe if PB could actually write sexy dirty talk consistently it wouldn’t be a problem#but it’s like they can’t turn off the urge to make corny cringey quips#and the characters saying each other’s names over and over again has been annoying for literal years now#especially because they have them do it when they write simple kissing scenes too#like I rarely ever say my fiancé’s actual name in everyday life lmao#so I find it so weird
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Hey did I ever tell y'all about the time I dreamed that I had a baby daughter called Ellie that began with my finding out I was pregnant and ended on like her third birthday?
I legitimately woke up thinking "I should go check on Ellie" and then realised she was never real and when I tell you I SOBBED. I've been haunted by an implacable sense of loss ever since. Did I travel to another dimension? Wtf happened because that was insane.
#I'm not even joking when I say it felt REAL#I have this baby doll (it was my mum's when she was a kid and I have it now) that sometimes I just hold and it makes me feel better???#Did I astral project into another life?????#Was it just a really fucking intense fever dream??????#For the record I was like fifteen I have never even done the do let alone had a pregnancy scare#But yeah my little Ellie#And she never fuckin existed#I woke up halfway through planning her birthday party like baking a cake or sm and I was thinking#“I'll give her the little green cardigan I knitted”#Woke up to a silent house and was like “she's never usually quiet this time in the morning”#Then realised what had happened and started CRYING#idk man it's insane#From a psychological point of view it's fascinating but I've tried and tried to analyse the dream and?????#I always come up with something different???? I can't pinpoint the actual cause and effect of the whole thing?????#Madness honestly#And it was just a normal day too nothing weird had happened it wasn't a coma and I wasn't knocked out it was just a Dream#A very very real one#For the record I don't think Ellie had a father#I think it was just an immaculate conception that nobody ever questioned#Might have been IVF now I think about it#That would make more sense#dream#weird dreams#Ig I should add a grief trigger warning???#tw grief#one time i dreamt#Very confused and it's been like two years so wtf yeah that was... Intense#The most dream of all time#Maybe I'm just fucking insane lol but yeah
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right ways to get mad at catholics: your institution and your practice of beliefs has irreperably harmed millions of people, end the lives of more, and brought struggle and strife to many cultures on a global scale
wrong ways to get mad at catholics: you believe in "sky daddy" so you are stupid as fuck
#yall are WEIRD about this and its super fucked up#god i dont want to defend the religion i actively fought tooth and nail to get out of but sometimes you all make just. wow.#like hello? you can shit on someone's HORRIBLE orginisations without like. actively insulting the central part of *multiple* religions#you reealise thats the same god in islam? judaism? and even if it wasnt... the 'believing in god' bit isnt the bad part?#thats super fucked up to be focusing on instead of. you know. the actual attrocities caused by the catholic church#istg...#you can condemn someones practices without denying them a core part of their life. weird as shit behaviour really.#'mimse this isnt important' um yes it is bc that same rhetoric can be returned on ANY belief system so yes you do have to care#even when its turned on the people you hate#you cant be hypocritical about shit like this that's how they win. because they do that already. and we all know how that goes.#dont do what they do.
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It's actually kind of heartbreaking how many people feel their life has ended right after high school or college, and honestly, the heavy romanticization of that period of time is so overwhelmingly predominant that it can be hard to avoid. It's insidious to constantly be told that ages 10-24 are the only worthwhile parts of life, that everything after is essentially meaningless and dull.
It's hard not to look around you and think that your life still is open and full of potential when you're told over and over again that the rose-tinted childhood is the last time you were alive. It's hard to realize that your life isn't over when you walk off the stage of your graduation.
We must realize that we will always be full of potentials. Your life won't be over until you take your final breath, and then? That's simply another chapter in your story, one of many. Let yourself realize that you're alive in the here and now. There will be good and bad, but never a complete loss of potential or hope.
#positivity#it's just... weird when you see somebody your age who says how over their life feels you know?#and i feel for them. i feel their pain and the emptiness of not knowing what's next or what you should do#and that's sometimes the scary part of life. but your story isn't over yet#one day it will be. one day you'll put the pen down and dry the ink on the yellowed pages and close your book of life. but that's not today#you are allowed to be an aimless spirit. you are allowed to breathe in without the crushing weight of productivity#the idea that your only potential happens when you're too young to realize it is wrong#your potential has nothing to do with feeling your youth and how little you know#it is hard to really internalize this and remind yourself to make space for hope and positivity...#...and you might not be ready to internalize this. that's okay. i'll wait with you (in a strictly spiritual sense)#we can wait together and not think about any of it. just to rest and collect our minds and feel the world hold its breath with us#all this to say that your life isn't over yet. you don't have to beat yourself up over not having lived at fucking 18#allow yourself the compassion to realize that you needed time to grow and mature and explore the world in your own way
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you ever start typing out a post and then halfway through think "oh, i'm just aromantic" and hit delete
#all the time. every day#i was going to say something like 'they should invent a kind of physical touch that doesn't make me want to crawl out of my skin' but then#i thought about it for two seconds and remembered i only get itchy & uncomfortable when it's with romantic intent. platonic touch never#sets off the alarm bells in my skittish animal brain#which i am resentful of sometimes. i idealize romance so much but it just makes me want to die if i get approached with it in real life#which fucking sucks why can't i just have a girlfriend like a normal person#but noooo i have to be weird about intimacy & arduously explain queerplatonic attraction to people if i want to be closer with them#fuck my life#exeunt: bay
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i’m obviously incredibly biased but i do think it’s kinda more interesting if the courier isn’t mad that benny shot them. for whatever reason! but especially if they come from similar backgrounds where it’s like “well it was respectful. he clearly didn’t want to kill me specifically it was business. and he basically threw me a funeral while i was still alive” and then their bigger issue is figuring out what to do now that they’re not dead. do they get revenge out of principle, do they try to solve the mystery of it all, do they hunt him down just to ask him to apologize, do they get roped into it by victor, or just general events? idk i obviously understand the revenge angle is very motivating, i just think a courier who doesn’t hate benny is really interesting and fun to play with. and not just because he’s my favorite guy and i could never hold it against him
#like i’ve really changed kitty’s whole thing to be more of a ‘i don’t hold a grudge because this is the fist person i’ve met in a decade who#operates within the societal framework i grew up in and getting shot twice execution style is the best way i was gonna go out. why did you#bring me back to life though because now i don’t remember who i am and i’m simply forced to become a detective and a small time con woman.#*six months later* oh hey it’s the guy who shot me! hey do you have my diary. btw. also do you wanna fuck because i feel a really weird#kinship with you and if we fuck i’ll either get over it or it’ll be your problem’#but i’ve made other couriers who don’t hold it against him for other reasons (not always romantic. sometimes just ‘yknow i should be mad but#i’m anti violence’ or ‘well i’m fine now so really why would i kill to when i can be a pain in your ass forever which is a way funnier#punishment for attempted murder’#benny gecko#kitty grave#that’s just for my tagging system lol#courier six#too i suppose
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