#life beyond the wall
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Wandering my hallways and pacing around my home thinking about Final Fantasy XV and its myriad examples of the core cast casually dehumanizing themselves for the sake of what they believe to be something greater. Ignis has perfectly fine vision but wears glasses to correct to 20/20. "When you can't focus, I focus for you." All of Episode Prompto. Ravus seeing his sister's death as a tragedy, not just because she's dead, but because she's dead and she doesn't even get to rest. The repeated imagery of getting closer and closer to Noct's destined goal is literally him trying to hold very still and not flinch as he lets a sword hit him. The goddamn ending. The game is not in conversation with this theme. These are things that are true to the characters and they cannot imagine a world where they are not. I'm climbing on the walls.
#sometimes I start thinking too hard about how Ignis started looking after noct when he was six and I have to go stare at a wall#or the fact that he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt his eyesight wasn't coming back and he still tried to downplay it#all of gladio's. everything honestly.#Born to die for you made to take hits for you molded to carry you#and he can't fathom it when Noct buckles under the pressure because to him he's never had any choice but to just shoulder it#and facing the fact that he's spent his whole life building himself to serve one person but if he doesnt have that one person he has NOTHIN#and then youre like oh both these guys are super fucked up from this lifetime of servitude but at least prompto had a normal life!#and then episode prompto hits#and on TOP of that theres prompto recurring story beats of changing himself to be 'good' enough. physically fit and chipper and cheery.#and his belief that being himself will actually just drag everyone down with him#AND LIKE! none of this is ADDRESSED#it doesnt get better they were all always slaves to something greater there is no other way this could have ended.#I have to go eat drywall#final fantasy#final fantasy xv#final fantasy 15#ff15#ffxv#ff 15#ff xv#chocobros#noctis lucis caelum#ignis scientia#gladiolus amicitia#prompto argentum#lunafreya nox fleuret#ravus nox fleuret
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howdy Dirk Nation how are we feeling about splinter parallels
#homestuck#dirk strider#Bro Strider#ult dirk#ultimate dirk#homestuck 2#hsbc#homestuck beyond canon#epic galleria#i dont like adding so many technical tags but if i dont organize myself i'll fucking explode and die and go Ult#one might call this yassifying. i simple call it having a Big Brain and Seeing the Truth#that comment screenshot is from an upload of Beatup btw. mf has like 3 fucking theme songs. lets beat him up#i was forced to draw fuckin hands. worst moment in my life. this was my own form of torture#you can see where i started to give up and go Fuck it We ball. tf is this bastard hunk wearing#what it is wrong with him. it is so attractive#i want him so bad i feel sick. i think i hauve covid. joder que bueno está el condenao me lo cargo a besos dame una noche con él#hey why dont you fuck with My narrative handsome. leans against wall with a rose on my mouth#i dont even read h:bc btw but the slay energy that panel had provoked some energy inside me in me to activate
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Herbert West in Slime Rancher
Herbert West in Nosferatu
Herbert West in Good Omens
Herbert West in Miitopia
Herbert West in Splatoon
Herbert West in Full Metal Alchemist
Herbert West in Life is Strange
Herbert West in Over the Garden Wall
In my head this is hilarious
#reanimator#bride of reanimator#herbert west#re-animator#beyond reanimator#reanimator 1985#herbert west reanimator#fma#full metal alchemist#good omens#miitopia#lis#life is strange#nosferatu#otgw#over the garden wall#slime rancher#splatoon
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When you see a post about romance or kissing or sm and just for a second you can't help but think of the person you're in unrequited love with.
#When you fall for someone harder than you ever thought possible#When you fall for the one person you should never ever have fallen for#And you love them beyond the universe but they will never love you back#Not in that way#They love you as a friend and you've been best friends since childhood#And then it creeps up on you and one day it slaps you in the face when you look at them and think oh. OH.#I want to spend my life with this person#I want to cook with you forever and pick flowers with you in our garden and paint the walls of our house#I want to dance with you and kiss you and watch the stars in each others arms#But you will never love me back#Even though I will always love you#Your smile#The way your nose wrinkles when you laugh and the way you say my name when you're scolding me#I cannot destroy what we have#And I will not dare to take the leap#I may never say it#But I love you I love you I love you#And I've been running from it for a long time#Picking people at random and chasing after them#To put as much distance between myself and my feelings as possible#But I can't help it anymore#I had to get this out somewhere. I know my blog isn't ideal#But at least she doesn't have a tumblr
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some people put charms around their house like the cross to ward away evil spirits… do you think pikero hangs bargain jeans to keep tuxam away but it only works for a little while until tuxam has gathered the courage to clean up
#Hangyon - “Hi~ Hi~ An auspicious fairy has arrived… Here to grant those who see it luck!"#(Pikero who quietly hangs bargain jeans)#(I don’t know where… The castle walls? His room?) (Wherever it is the place is ridiculously covered with jeans… Too many jeans…)#(Abuzz with mess and confusion that thwarts good and bad men into utter stone.)#(Hangyon is momentarily shocked but quickly recovers his cheery self)#Pikero - “Piii~Kero… Might one ask what you might be doing~~?”#(Pikero who turns to Hangyon)#Pikero - “Fortification.”#(He returns back to business. As if normal.)#(Hanging Bargain Jean after Bargain Jean.)#(On the walls. On the floors. Some idly hanging from light fixtures and taped to doors.) (Splattered naturally as paint meant for walls.)#(Hangyon attempts to make small talk out of Pikero but only receives short-answered responses almost akin to automation)#(If asked what Pikero was doing “Fortification” would be the answer.) (And he would slowly return back to work.)#(Sometimes unbothered with answers. “You know so why ask?”) (Not exactly what is said but implied)#Bargain Jeans Bargain Jeans Bargain Jeans#Walls Floors More And ForeverMore#(And Hangyon would say something like this: “Alas~ Narrative calls for the arrival of a new character because it might be obvious that we’r#(Something like that)#(Hangyon who peers from somewhere as Tuxam attempts to cross the bargain jean ridden place like water that’s reached towards his waist)#(He’s slowly making a path and pushing the bargain jeans around the floor with his ice cream stick)#(Curses beneath his breath out of confusion for “WHY!?” but he knows why just why take these measures in the first place)#(At this point Hangyon is watching like he’s a photographer for National Geographic and can’t disturb the animals)#O��� denim labyrinth in cursed beyond / covered you and all begone / blue is the sky and all painted things#/ rubbed between the feet was fabric and string / dreams innuendo the dystopia / I wore the little article through leg and arm#/ bargain is the life and jeans is the means#tuxam wakes up in a cold sweat#fragaria memories#fragmem#pikero#tuxam
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he was only ever meant to watch
#he was never meant to be here in the first place it was a fluke in the system a mistake...#glass wall train ride timeline oblivion you were only ever meant to observe to read to watch-- not to touch. never to touch!#but you did and you damned us all because you loved this world too much and got too close and it burned and now its all gone wrong!!!!!!!!!#this world is doomed and its all your fault!!!!!!!!!!#becoming something monstrous something beyond yourself something horrible and it was all only ever because#you loved this world and its people so much you could throw up. you only ever wanted to be a part of it#to touch the grass to see its people to feel the sun to walk amongst everyone else#all a watcher ever wants is to become someone else to become someone real to become something that can be loved#the god of this world isnt the one who created it but rather the one who can manage to keep their eyes trained on it#to see every single birth and death and triumph and mistake to witness it all in its ugly bare faced truth and not look away#as the most powerless existence in the world..!!!#a storyteller confined to the whims of the story#you loved them so much youve damned them all to their deaths and theres nothing you can do#but watch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#dfssdf .df#or . df df . SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHATEVER#HAVE YOU GUYS HEARDOT THE LIFE SERIES#HAVE YOU GUYS HEARD OF OMNISICENT READERS VIEWPOINT#I. HAVE. TO . DRAW. GROKJA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Dear grantees who want to work with a public library:
We don't need to know the history of your project.
We don't need to hear about "liberatory spaces" or the "coloniality of learning".
We certainly don't need to hear about "feminisms" (are there more than one?), "methods of survivance" (why not "survival"?), or "intersectional positionality in the world" ("positionality"? Are you ok?).
We need to hear about what people will actually be DOING at the event you are proposing to hold at the library.
xoxo
A librarian
PS: Please do yourself a favor and touch grass.
#We've had like three of these proposals#where they tell us jack-a-diddly about what they actually intend for an event#the most recent was the most egregious#an absolute marxist wall-of-text that was beyond parody#that had the gall to suggest they want to make their studies accessible to the public and get away from academia#while using words like 'survivance' and 'positionality'#it broke me#libraries#library#librarian#library life
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today's workout was not very good in the rdl department....didn't feel my glutes as i should have BUT the squats were great i didn't feel fatigued and i really felt all my muscles working as they should which i was very pleased with
#i did weighted glute bridges and really felt the burn so that was the primary way i worked my glutes#i actually still struggle with glute bridges. like it takes me a few tries to find the right position where i actually feel them working#it's still the part of my body where i really have to focus on the mind muscle connection#upper body is fine it's great i struggle with lower body bc it tires me out more easily#actually for upper body my main goal is to be able to do a full pushup#i started doing them against the wall and have progressed to countertops#it's easy against the kitchen counter as it's higher. today i did them against the bathroom counter and that was harder#i could crank out 10x3 with good form#.....i love writing down how my workouts feel i think it's nice to see what's felt easier and what's felt harder#there was genuinely a point in my life where i couldn't even imagine myself doing a single squat so this progress is beyond what i imagined
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i feel like we talk so little about jeanrenee domesticity&intimacy to me i think they have so much potential for having that kind of relationship where you feel like you're the same person in different fonts......... renee speaking and you can hear a ghost of jean's accent in it! or jean praying under his breath even though he might not even believe in it himself......... do you see it..... i don't know. i like them
#this is because of lrb but also because its been on my mind lately#i <3 the jeanrenee dynamic where to jean it was Everything and to renee it was just something casual#because i love jean and i love to make him suffer#but i also have space in my heart for jeanrenee where it works... jeanrenee where they get thru each other's walls... jeanrenee where its a#deliberate and loving choice to be life partners in a way that goes beyond just romance#U KNOW WHAT I MEAN...#and ofc its really romantic too. of course. jean was kicking his feet and all about her#but i dont know i think they have this very delicious potential to be soulmates and twin flames and um you know#jean cant be normal about loving someone you know hed want to live inside renees ribcage#txt#jeanee
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You know I actually never realized this before-- so you remember how tri. retconned Original Chosen fighting and defeating Apocalymon into them fighting the Dark Masters instead? (To be fair it is possible they could've ALSO fought Apocalymon afterwards but that isn't the Epic Final Showdown tri. decided to depict so it's borderline a retcon)
If the Original 5 Chosen fought and defeated the Dark Masters once in the distant past, doesn't that mean that
A) They survived and hid for just a few thousand years until they came back for a Round 2 at conquering the world
B) They died, were reborn, and THEN went for the Round 2
You know I've just DYING with curiosity, desperately wanting to know if any of the villians in Adventure would ever be reborn after Adventure, right. Because according to the lore they should, right (unless their data was like somehow absorbed by Apocalymon and destroyed along with him (though that would still leave Piemon as an exception (and Vamdemon but we all know what happened to him) and the sole survivor))
And what tri. has essentially done is confirm that most of them should, in fact, be reborn sooner or later
But that just raises the question of if Apocalymon was lowkey driving the Dark Masters nuts (as suggested by the novels), and if tri. was kind of about destroying the last remnants of Apocalymon's data (within Meicoomon), if they were reborn this time would they be free of Apocalymon's influence
If so, would their third (?) lives then turn out different? Would they still try to take over the world all over again for funsies (this time just without Apocalymon giving them power etc), or were they just the same as Ken was in Zero Two? I mean Apocalymon was supposed to be a spawn of Milleniummon and Ken was infected with Mille's malice directly, so while it may have been a bit filtered it was still the same source of malice and corruption, right
And like regardless of how their next lives would turn out, shouldn't the kids (OR AT THE VERY FUCKING LEAST GENNAI) like realize that this is going to happen eventually and like. Go and see if they can find them (either as their pre-Ultimate forms or even when they're still in their Eggs) and try to figure out what to do BEFORE shit hits the fan
I JUST
#Sorry I'm rewatching the second half of Adventure while working (it improves my focus actually) and#Oh the brainworms are real#Text post#I'm sorry I'm just thinking about Pinocchimon. My sweet poor murder child just needed friends 😭#But even if he was reborn without the craving for blood- who would be friends with him. After all he did in his past life#Who would want to be friends with him. Who would forgive him#IS HE GONNA BE DOOMED TO BE ALONE FOREVER. I'M 😭😭😭#Meanwhile for all we know Piemon is still stuck in that other dimension 10 years later lmao#Depending on if tri.'s reboot ever affected him at all or not because god fucking knows we'll never find out#(Or if he even COULD be affected by the reboot to begin with. God knows Wizarmon seemed to be fucking IMMUNE to it)#(Even though it was supposed to reset EVERYBODY)#But also that could have horrifying implications too if Piemon was just left to cook overnight with a part of Apocalymon#Like Apocalymon is just a collection of grudge and hate from Digimon who've gone extinct right#What's stopping that part of Apocalymon from just restarting the collection of hatred and grudge all over again#This time using Piemon as a vessel to just contain it#Like Apocalymon came from beyond the Wall of Fire to begin with so it's not like dimensional barriers should stop him either#I mean the good news is that there probably haven't been that many Digimon species that've gone extinct after Adventure#But still kids. Y'all might have a timebomb on your hands#Edited to remove some of excessive cursing lmao. I was feeling very intense when writing this sorry lmao
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Me, six-ish hours ago: Yeah, I had the idea for an Avatar Suiren AU pretty much as long as Suiren herself existed, but idk if I'm ever gonna develop it, it's really hard to upkeep interest for it on my own...
Me, as soon as the concept of Suiren and Vaatu bullying Raava together popped into my head while I was typing out that long ass post: Fuck it, new strain of brain fungus acquired–
(Also yeah traditional art being posted for the first time since... 2020, probably. Don't have the spoons to transfer this to digital rn, maybe I will at some point and I'll do a fuckass Spirit World background or smth. We'll see)
First time drawing Vaatu so don't make fun of me, but honestly he's such a funky little guy and rather fun to draw. You just get that main shape down and then go nuts with the frills :) But also, credit where credit is due, scrolling through the Vaatu tag on @shadelorde’s blog really helped, so thank you for that 😊 And I really had no idea what to do with Suiren’s design here, I think I’ve used up all my character design juices on the nine previous iterations of her that exist, so for now she’s in a random dress with her hair down. I’ll probably alter it if I ever do a proper design for her in this verse
#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#original character#sotrl suiren#vaatu#avatar suiren au#I spent so long typing out tags for this post and tumblr fucking deleted them…#I’m going to go bite into a wall istg#I don’t have the energy to rewrite all of them so… quick summary#this takes place immediately after Suiren frees Vaatu during harmonic convergence#he briefly went all big and then shrunk so he could get a better look at her#while all this is going on Raava is screaming very loudly inside Suiren#Suiren is beyond caring. either Raava shuts up or she gets out. no other option#the avatar becomes balanced by fusing with Vaatu too or the avatar ceases to exist and suiren gets to live a normal life#spoiler alert: Raava does shut up but not for long#Suiren begins regretting her life decisions as soon as the two start arguing inside her#I’m pretty much stealing all the lore Kat came up with in bonded and adumbration lmao. hi Kat#oh also like 10 minutes before this Suiren killed Unalaq#his spiritfucker ass wouldn’t let her get to Vaatu that easily. but let’s be real he stood no chance against her#it’s fine though no one liked him anyway#honestly she did everyone a huge favour#anyway. yes Vaatu does have a tendril wrapped around her shoulders. bc it’s cute okay#damn Suiren how come Nia lets you be the weird lesbian daughter to TWO evil dads??#(yes I’m aware neither Vaatu nor Ghazan are evil. I’m trying to joke here but it’s almost 10 a.m and I can’t think anymore#simply everything is hilarious now)#what else did this used to say…#oh right. nia stop making LoK antagonists obsessed with your OC challenge#the Red Lotus are her parents. Kuvira is in love with her. now she’s being all buddy buddy with Vaatu#only one that’s missing is Amon bc I genuinely do not care for him lmao
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every little part of me screams I DON'T WANT TO DO and I have to manually force myself to breathe. it is that kind of day. again.
#and how am I supposed to NOT be tired#if so much of my life is forcing myself to do basic survival stuff#and anything beyond that is like climbing a smooth wall#gripping it so hard that my fingers and toes bleed and you can see the bones#how am i supposed to not be tired of that all#“your 50% is enough you don't have to put 100% into anything” bullshit bullshit bullshit#waking up and eating a breakfast is already 150% what are you on#how am I supposed to dream and hope#while the goal for now is being able to go outside once a day#and I seriously doubt that I can reach it in the next 5 years#tw vent#vent
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but still I keep your hand, as a precious souvenir...
#em draws stuff#oc time again hehe#haunted by your hand#the gambler: james webster#the highwayman: kate heriot#remember that 'what should I draw' poll? well girl soup won so here is Girl Soup as you so politely requested.#feel like I ought to tag this for Something but for the life of me I do not know What.#time to say a little context also. for I fear that this needs context.#james's entire Deal is a bit 'sad old bartender with a dead wife in the walls somewhere' except that she's not particularly sad or old#and the wife in question is not precisely in the walls so much as being preserved in alcohol in a barrel in the basement#'but what else are you Supposed to do after you've stolen your ladylove's corpse and turned her hand into a sorcerous artifact?#just bury her? well that would be both a difficulty and a waste wouldn't it. better to keep her close. right here. right here.'#so you see james's thought process on this one. and if she's drinking a little of what's in that vat of dead girl juice what's the problem.#...I realize now that I'm not ever sure I Said what the haunted by your hand storyline was out loud on the website before.#so if this was a sudden bucketload of information then. well. do not know what to say beyond That's Just How It Is.#aaaaand caption lyrics from tom lehrer's 'i hold your hand in mine' since I am still finding room to get a little silly with it around here
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A Game of Thrones, Bran III
And he looked past the Wall, past endless forests cloaked in snow, past the frozen shore and the great blue-white rivers of ice and the dead plains where nothing grew or lived.
North and north and north he looked, to the curtain of light at the end of the world, and then beyond that curtain.
He looked deep into the heart of winter, and then he cried out, afraid, and the heat of his tears burned on his cheeks.
Now you know, the crow whispered as it sat on his shoulder. Now you know why you must live.
“Why?” Bran said, not understanding, falling, falling.
Because winter is coming.
#a game of thrones#bran iii#a song of ice and fire#asoiaf#bran stark#three eyed crow#the wall#beyond the wall#haunted forest#frozen shore#land of always winter#aurora borealis#northern lights#heart of winter#the others#white walkers#winter#winter is coming#snow#ice#north#tears#fear#crows#greensight#greenseeing#greenseers#falling#life#house stark
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actually so funny in retrospect how on the last wednesday of 2022 my job told me i had an “attitude problem” so in 2023 i quit that job, bought a pair of socks online that said “i ❤️ my attitude problem,” and listened to “bad attitude” by meat loaf so many times that it became my #3 most played song of the year
#the attitude problem was literally not even in the room with us if you know what i mean.#literal examples she gave were ‘you talk to your coworkers in the break room about stuff that happened on a shift they didn’t work’#and ‘you ask me too many questions about the job and it makes me uncomfortable’#this after i’d been working there 16 months. clocked in 5 minutes early every single day.#had called out sick 3 times ever at that point and all because i was actually sick. all times i was sick for like a week#and still only called out one day.#spent 6 months closing registers every night while on the schedule as the cleaner.#once spent over an hour of my one precious life cleaning the dirtiest and nastiest cart of all time#because we had so few because they kept getting stolen.#went above and beyond every single day and was consistently rated ‘exceeds expectations’ on performance reviews.#and they had given me a 15-cent performance raise after telling me i was the best cleaner of all time.#and then they raised the starting wage to $17.25 and my 15-cent raise was nullified so in the end it didn’t even matter.#and i was paying $1425 a month for a no oven shithole with thin walls and insane neighbors#AND THEY REALLY THOUGHT I’D RATHER BE PROMOTED THERE THAN JUST QUIT AND KEEP THE ATTITUDE!!!
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does one ever truly stop being suicidal or do you just get better at ignoring it. i dont know
#personal#sui mention#idk how im meant to live like this. id rather not frankly even with the few good things in my life it all seems far too heavy to deal with#whatever i just keep ignoring it maybe one day ill convince myself im fine and not someone who is broken beyond repair#its not true tho i dont think im a person at all really but no one seems to understand i think under my skin is hiding something wrong idk#i should stare at the wall and maybe ill find some answers one day. or in my research i will find something someday#i cant die before i have answers so i stay alive. but i keep thinking that maybe dying would give me the answers? bothersome#today isnt the day i know tho. ill know if there ever is the day but its not today. i WILL know
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