#life and things that happen
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Last year my parents had a pond dug at their house and it's been fascinating to watch it this year.
It was dug for great crested newts (there was official funding for having it done and everything) which means it had to be a natural pond. Which means that it spent last summer as a big hole in the ground.
Over the autumn and winter it gradually filled up. By spring it had whirligig beetles and diving beetles, then pondskaters and waterboatmen.
A little later in the spring it did get newts. Dad saw a great crested newt for sure, but the ones I saw could have been any kind of newt. Just lizard shaped shadows under the surface, showing up for a moment as they put their noses out for air or grabbed an insect.
By summer dragonflies had arrived. Broad bodied chasers looping around the pond and resting on the side. I saw a female laying eggs this weekend, flicking her tail again and again at a leaf just under the surface. Mum says she's seen an emperor dragonfly too, recently.
There are also a few plants starting to colonise the waterline now. I'm wondering what they are and whether they realise the pond is something like two feet deeper in winter. But they're the local flora, presumably they know what the water table is like in the area.
It's amazing watching a pond grow and acquire wildlife when no one did anything to it except dig it.
#life and things that happen#we don't think the newts bred in it this year#but it's good that they found it so quickly
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shoutout to the guy who after unsuccessfully hitting on my sister and being politely declined asked her "is it okay if i ask your brother instead" and when she said yes gave me a long and searching look before sighing and going "no. i am not drunk enough to go for a dude. but you look like an angel" happy bisexual pride to this man and this man only. hope you figure it out soon king
#interestingly not the most harrowing thing that happened tonight no that was#getting recognized from a podcast. i hope that never happens to me again thats so fucking scary#fuck me and my wretched life why do i always end up exisiting in the public eye while detesting the consequences
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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...weird amount of dunmeshi fans have been saying being a caretaker in a relationship is the worst thing ever..marcille must want to killl everyone soo bad because doing things for people suuuucks sooo muchh
it's an act of love, not just a job i promise. we all want someone who's willing to take care of us in some way, just like how senshi shows care for others by cooking for them :'|
#marcille donato#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#laios touden#falin touden#chilchuck tims#izutsumi#delicious in dungeon#this is also about kabru and mithrun stop focusing so hard on how it was ‘forced upon’ kabru as if it’s the most evil thing in the world#they took care of EACH OTHER during that time and mithrun wasn’t doing nothing#people are so weird about him and reduce mithrun down to his disability as if he isn’t CAPTAIN for a reason#it’s sooo insane#try thinking about how their time together serves the themes of the story rather than a biased interpretation#of all the things that happen in this manga people focus on the weirdest things to apply to real life#people try to construe is as something evil with evil intent as if it’s not there to benefit the THEMES of the story#woah a huge...heron? just landed on a tree i've been staring at it for like 10 minutes its pretty#dungeon meshi spoilers
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"we know how to move our bodies, but i didn't know how to manage my heart, so you need help for this"
hi we need to talk more about judo gold medallist christa deguchi.
#maybe i need her#that video about her battling mental health woes in 2021... ;___; i love her#she's all over the japanese forums the past few days#and the wlw community is going feral shfgshjfk#some of them call her “the one who got away”#and “my wife who was too hot for japan judo to handle but is now thriving under canada”#and today i just saw a post that just says:#i just learnt about deguchi-sama and then i rolled over in bed and looked at my husband#and thought to myself: maybe he's not the love of my life#in love with her actually#incredible things happening ;___;#also she has the three cutest cats........... please let me raise them with you....#long post#christa deguchi#team canada#olympics#paris 2024#cats#cats of tumblr#wlw#wlw post
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i would say that, mentally speaking, i'm in a good place right now! physically of course, the crows continue their chanting,
#'weaving spells with beaks and talons' whatever u wanna call it. sounds like chanting to me#anyway yes. that is a thing that is happening#yes i am aware of it. stop asking.#am i taking steps to stop this thing from happening? how. how the fuck do u suppose i should go about doing that?#yea i've done some dumb shit in my life#no i am NOT about to go INTERFERING with the CROWS
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You were the coolest.
#Yeah#this is still happening#but#god does life get in the way of things sometimes#disco elysium#disco elysium fanart#disco elysium sapphics#I cant believe I've been on disco sapphics for a year now hi#dora ingerlund#harrier du bois
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"Do you miss the time when you used to do no harm?"
Old habits.
Merc behaviour is based on a nice little comment @up-in-flames-writing left on one of my comics :)
Rambling and more silly drawings below.
Loosely based on the Solemn Vow's public blurb:
Art lovers will cherish the bust of Hippocrates, commemorating a time when the Medic still thought doing no harm was a good idea.
I am absolutely convinced that Medic carries dextrose drops with him. German pharmacies throw these after you when you buy anything at all. I went to check if this one specific brand I know of had been around since the 60s and 70s and yes, it was.
Small acts of kindness I can see Medic doing is giving everyone one of these if they are tired. I'm talking about Engineer mostly.
Or they snack on them when solving practical problems together, like during the teleporter bread tumor incident.
#team fortress 2#tf2#tf2 medic#tf2 scout#tf2 heavy#tf2 spy#tf2 archimedes#tf2 sniper#tf2 pyro#tf2 demoman#tf2 engineer#*Vaxx leans out of the head canon window with this one*#A lot going on in the second half; if it's hard to follow: I'm trying to contrast medic keeping candy in his office despite no kids around#against his disregard to the hippocratic oath/suggestion#Why would he keep doing this general-practicioner-core thing but not the bare necessity for keeping his medical license?#I want to convey that him losing his license was nothing surprising because#in his mind the oath was always ever a mere suggestion hence it wasn't actually a big change in his values#the punchline is that there's no contrast: keeping candy in the office is just as much of a habit as is not following the hippocratic oath#When I found out about the Solemn Vow's description text I spent minutes thinking about the implications behind that#Herr Doktor what happened in your life; did nothing happen at all; did you change or were you always like this and just came to realisation#what made you stop being wholesome and choose violence
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It wasn’t supposed to be a secret.
If you died while with the league, you will no longer be acknowledged to have existed, especially if you died during a mission. A disappointment will not be remembered.
The bats and birds don’t like speaking about the people they have lost, so they don’t. If someone ask about the dead, they will tell the person they don’t talk about that.
So how was Damian supposed to know that he should have told his father about his dead brother?
#dpxdc#dcxdp#danny and damian are siblings#demon twins#or#older brother Danny#a dead brother#who is not as dead as everyone was led to believe#but that's not the main focus right now#Bruce is angry at Damian for not telling him about his other son#Damian is rightfully confused#all his life the dead were not to be acknowledged#if you died you might as well have never existed at all#so Bruce has only himself to blame#(and obviously the maternal side of Damian's family tree)#especially if he dismissed Damian's questions about his parents in the past#but how did they come to know about Danny?#good question!#maybe a summoning#planned by the JL or a cult thing#or he is a new JLD member#Batfam on a road trip and they happen to stop in AP#Danny goes to college in Gotham and people who want PHDs get monitored#take your pick#there are a lot of possibilities#CreatureWrites
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unconditionally
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#megumi#yuuji#im shaky and numb the way this took years off my life#genuinely cannot believe i thought it was smart to make it a comic i could have stuck at a painting and it would have been fine#but nooooooo in my hubris i thought Surely im an expert at this longform stuff now Surely i can do it :)#and then it killed me it killed me dead this is like over twice as long as the train comic and 4 times as detailed#backgrounds . angles. i yearn fr death.#AND I HAD 2 WRITE THEM ACTUALLY TALKING GGSDH i am actually so insecure abt the way the dialogue flows gomen....#i wanted to add more to it to fix how clipped and rushed i think it reads#but that would mean drawing more expressions would mean drawing more panels would mean more gd hyDRANGEAS#so ultimately i decided 2 have the conversation take the hit because let me tell u.#if i have to draw. one more blue petal i will snap i will lose it#i knew tht would happen n wanted to alleviate some of the pain so i found a few brushes that helped speed up the process#but the thing w a lot of premade flower brushes is they also come preshaded n look uniform in a way that stands out badly against my style#so i had 2 render over them anyway........#yuuji's domain rly putting me through the wringer first the train station now death by a bajillion petals smh#all that to say tho . my labour of love . i am going to take a nap#hina.comic
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Homer, Hades 2: Sing, O Muse, of the saffron robed goddess, whose fair countenance was bathed in Selene’s light at the moment of her birth. Homer, Hades: The fire-stepping prince was lifted by Night from the cold ground, where his lord father had discarded him, outside Taco Bell.
#zagreus: shut up old man#I have been thinking of that loki taco bell post for DAYS since starting Hades 2#hades 2 spoilers#hades 2#homer#zagreus#melinoe#also I can't stop thinking about how close Mel and Homer are#she realised her life had a narrator and decided to befriend them#meanwhile the same thing happened to Zag and he just decided it was On Sight
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People I have met while pruning lavender as a volunteer:
Jehovah's Witnesses who made some nice small talk and left me with a card. Considering I'd also been making nice small talk with them in hopes of making them think well of the Community Garden I couldn't even mind. Ulterior motives all around.
A lady with a dog who wanted to ask whether she could also volunteer when she moved into the area.
A guy with a dog who wanted to let his dog say hello to me. Embarrassing for both of us when I backed away sharply and said, "please no". He left after telling me that he had asked and I agreed that he had (he had not although he did come towards me slowly enough for saying no to be possible).
A woman and a child who I didn't really meet, but she did stop to point out the lovely smell to her child.
A man and a woman who wanted to tell me how good the lavender smelled and say "hi", which was nice.
A man on a bike who wanted to tell me I was pruning lavender wrong and shouldn't be pruning it at all (I was doing what I'd been told, but I did stop to google just to check I wasn't going against all lavender pruning advice before continuing with what I had been doing).
A guy who wanted to know if the afternoon's event had been cancelled but didn't know what the afternoon's event would have been when I asked. (He left at that point so I didn't find out whether there was one.)
A lady with two dogs who wanted the lavender, which I was very happy to give her since we had entire binfuls of it. Unfortunately we only had one carrier bag and she didn't have her own.
And my fellow volunteers who have all been lovely.
#life and things that happen#it's always embarrassing with dogs because their owners are like#oh he's a softy he won't hurt you#and 'if he licks me I will have a panic attack and I would rather not'#feels like something that will only make them think worse of me#plus I'm not always so good with words when startled and anxious anyway#actually that's only a problem with dogs whose owners think everyone should like dogs#multiple dogs are in this post and only one was a problem
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ITS JOEVER
#MAN.#memeprince talks#nintendo direct#tomodachi life#side order trailer happened that’s the only other thing im looking forward to#edit: fyi I didn’t make this image I had it for a while and it expressed how I felt dnfndmg idk who made it
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Never forget the fact that, because he was roleplaying as his nonexistent lil sister, his twitter account got banned for a while and had to scream publicity he was, in fact, Tatsuki Fujimoto roleplaying as his nonexistent lil sister.
And no one believed him at first.
#that was probably one of the funniest times to be on twitter because you could quote him and point and laugh at him#while you'll see his desperation growing and growing because everyone were like fujimoto? you? nah! and he was crying screaming#“ I AM A LIBRA!!!” KFKFNDKFKFKF#tatsuki fujimoto#look back#chainsaw man#at least we got the aki early design which was a blessing for all of us. except for him ofc#the fact he wrote a scene with this SAME THING happening to denji like.. idk. two months before was the funniest thing ever klmdslk#life do truly imitates art...
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Birds of a Feather previous / next
#my art#feralnette au#birds of a feather#long tags#sorry I went apeshit in the tags#LETS SAY IT ALL TOGETHER NOW#I - M - A - G - OOOOOOOOO#its fun drawing marinette's back to Alya and having her appear stout and unstoppable and totally logical#and then you see her face and she's like two seconds from completely snapping and is keeping it together by a thread#as a note just because mari feels very certainly abt smth doesnt mean she's right. feelings can be valid and also irrational#in the throes of grief she decided it was better to be alone than to lose someone again so she started pulling away#and lila made pulling away very very very easy to do#shes also vaguely aware she's being unfair in pinning this on alya which is why she started spinning the drain on cockmoth again#legitimately all the shit that's happened to her wouldn't have been so catastrophic if he was never in the picture and she knows it#but the bitterness of her bestie choosing a fantastic liar over her at the worst of times stiiiiiings#alya's personal timing was bad but lila really took advantage of the fact that marinette had been acting off and weird#she basically clocked marinette as being unstable from SOMETHING and made up a lie about her#knowing she wouldn't have the strength to defend herself#between her social life going tachy bc of lila and losing fu in a way that felt like personhood death marinette was really put on the spot#and alya doing her thing of busting in there and assuming her bias is correct was a terrible combo#essentially marinette is highly unstable and alya is just realizing that#busting in and giving her a lecture when she's slightly hysterical and definitely delirious from exhaustion is NOT the way#to show her she's self sabotaging#cuz thats just gonna make her double down on self sabotaging. bc marinette will not accept that she is also a CHIIIIILD
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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