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ecto-stone · 3 years ago

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So I don’t really know that much about that my blood au you created could you tell me a bit about it?

Ha hah I Hope this is Edible

So My Blood Au is just Me dumping all the cool stuff i can think of into a DP what if Vlad is Good ^For Starter MB Vlad or Vladimir Jude Masters is a Paranormal investigater/ hunter/exocist in a sense. He seemingly Perfect in People eye, Not Really on the inside as he have many problem stem from living so long and going though alots of thing that he prefer not to talk about that he hide from People , go so far as to adjust his own emotion to what he find fit to the situration making him really hard to read. (Not Jack and Danielle, those are close enough 2 peel him like an onion if they sense something off). -Vlad And Danny are not same kind of Halfa in this AU, Vlad is Two soul (Half Blue Demon Vampire Ghost, Half Human twisted together and blend into one) and Danny is Soul within soul (Going though the accident give him two identical soul that over lapped each other) -Ghost are nerf and ecto beam and ecto Base attack can harm ghost but they can't harm Physical thing in living world Unless they are infuse with Core element same with Human entering Purgatory. -The world have 5 Realm: LivingWorld, Purgatory (GhostZone), Elsewhereness, Fairy Land and Unworld. +Going with the idea that originaly Vlad is supposed to be a vampire and many ghost in the series feel like they are more supernature creature then Ghost. Living world now have many Human and other Creature living among each other , hidden in plain sight +Purgatory: Where Ghost go and heal before they move onto Elsewhereness (Heaven in this verse) or Rebirth back to the living cycle. There are many area in Purgatory that fit human decription of after life look like , this is due to collective faith and ideal of many Ghost focus with each other to created these Resting stop. Incidentally like the living world these area are also watch over by being call King and Queen of the Death (Caretaker and protector of the Death soul, a being with incredible power capable of bending reality). Most well known one are the King Dark, Prince Argon and Princess Dora of the Dark Age Zone. Queen Desire of the thousand and one night. ect.. newest King of the death is Ghost Writer (library of the forgotten) but he prefer not be refer to as king, just Ghost writer. +Elsewhereness: The final resting Places of enternal Bliss. Once the Soul is ready to let go of all earthly desire, they are send here. Not much is known about this realm or it location. When a Soul reach enlightment it will automatically know where to find it. The realm also House many god. +Fairy Land: Home to care taker of the childhood inocent and many god that work to keep the universe running. Most common creature that live here is Fairy with two side one silly colorful side that appear to children to granted what ever their heart desire. The other is the Blue fortune side that Weaved the fabric of Luck and fate. +Unworld: A Dark realm with one way in no way out. It house many dangerous creature, ancient outer god and unspeakable Evil that have been banish to through age by god and human. >the Origin Story: +Vlad and Jack are Friend from Childhood (Their Bond are really tight kinda like Sworn Brother ) unlike their canon counter part meet in college. They Hunt Ghost but in more of a Release soul from their earthly bound kind of way via the info they get from the Masters Family Grilmore. (There is one major inconvience is that You need to wait for the correct day and time to perform ritual sending ghost back to purgatory so they can Move on to Elsewhereness/heaven of this verse ) +They Meet Maddie in college (Maddie and Vlad almost alway in a total clash with each other with Maddie tech almost Hunter like way in dealing with ghost and Vlad more traditional Way of Handling them) Which end with Three of them forming the Original Ghost Trio. With Maddie accept Vlad and Jack Respect the Death ideal. And Vlad and Jack incorperate More Technology into their Asset. +Maddie point out the inconvinient of having to wait for the correct day for each ghost to send them back to Purgatory (Their room are fill with

Container for ghost), Which lead to them comming up with the idea of Making a Ghost Portal. <Note: MB Vlad is not into Romantic relationship, Platonic one Matter to him more> >The Accident: No diet soda the Accident is purely due to one miscalculation that cost Vlad life (his Head got Blash Clean off infront of Jack and Maddie) In that Split Second of His face getting disintigrating, Vlad get a Glim into UnWorld (the Realm where are Demon and evil of the four realm are banish to) and Got Latched on and Pushed Back to the living world by a Demon Vampire Ghost Both Soul are now inhabited Vlad headless lifeless body, in Which about 3 day after Vlad burial that Vlad Body got completely decontructed inside the coffin and recontructed into a body that is more fitting to host both . Vlad have a hard time remembering Who he is after kinda get rebirth and Wander the world until he Get Suck into a Natural Ghost Portal and got Flunk Back in time. >Journey of an Immortal Being: -Vlad Stuck in the Past, He recovered his memories, Going through existenal crisis, Evil phase, Evil make me feel bad, Not Evil anymore, Found out that he is immortal now, Existenal crisis part2, Acceptance, Travel the World and Start doing the what ever he like, learning old way of magic still helping ghost and other supernatural being. -Caused several Major Change to the past that Mythical Creature got un extinct. (Due to the Law of life and death this does not affect who get born or not, it just that the world got alots more races now and those used to be born human in the original timeline might get born as another races entirely) -Get Mistaken for Messiah.( Look You can't kill Vlad, He would just be gone for like 3 day then comeback) -Caused the legend of Dracula. -Vampire cult have a horrible obession with Vlad as a Whole. Look like vampire act like one, can walk in plain day light and more importantly the ability to Open a Portal to Unworld . ( Vlad don't use this ability much and can only open small one as it is very energy consuming) -Meet his own ancestor Which is the Fentonightingale that Later Splited into Fenton and Nightingale (later change to Masters) leading to revealation that Jack and Him might be very distant Related. -Bickering With Time God (Do not trust the Clock Man that work for the Eyes) -Get Caught in War far too many time. -Meet Phantom (an odd entity that is oddly clingy to him) in the Great War. -Meet Other Some of the DP ghost when they still alive -The Horrible Bar incident that reveal Phantom true nature, an evil being that wish to turn the world back to it original nature of nothiness and try to turn vlad to the his side, Kill, Seal in Rock Case covered with Sigil to prevent Phantom from escape, Chuck it into the ocean. - The Contruction of the Coffin Ghost Portal. (Havent actually went into the Purgatory caused the CCP is one Way Portal. -Forming of many Hidden town that home supernatural being. Amity Park is one of them. - And many more unseen story >Daddy Stolen Ribbone saga (MB Vlad is sterile, he want to have kid but can't.) -The Vampire cult that he have grudge with attemp to Clone or at least created a child that have Vlad Power through ritual and cult like method. Imagine Danny Clone but even more mess up . -Vlad end the life of most of them by his own hand (they are suffering, it is best to let them go) -Birth of Danielle: +Danielle Evelyn Masters or just Dani/Dee for short is the only Stable child come out of this whole odeal. She is Created From Vlad Ribone like a Twisted Eve. And like in the book it caused both of them to be very attached to each other in a Fatherly Daughterly Way. +Dee Have Vlad Ghost power and Demonic Power but No ghost form (Her default funtion as both and whether she is in ghost mode or Human mode is all Up to energy control) and no connection to Unworld there for she can't open portal to Unworld. Dual Soul nature Wind/Fire.

+She like Frog and is interested in Marine biology (which Vlad have full support over, she have a room fill with Vlad hand made frog plusie that she all named. +He raise her teach her everything he know about how to deal with supernatural being and how to Snipe Vampire from a long distant with pin point accuracy.

+An kidnapped incident with the Vampire cult latter resulted in Dee Death at the age of 12 (1999), and Vlad becoming fully Merged into one Being with Plasmius. and wipe out the entire vampire cult in a horrible Vlad the impaler way). +After wiping out the remainder of the cult, vlad go into retirement and work as a wall Painter < he work supper fast on celling painting and no one know why> >The Boy Who Fly (2 year before the start of actual MB story) -Danny Gain his power at the age of 10, his parent know. The event of Portal acivation caused the whole town to have a black out. -They move House alots for 2 year. And Jack try his best to make his family as normal as they can be after accidenly k his friend all those year ago and now half eff his own son. -They finding out amity park their new home is on accident when the RV engine die mid way through the middle of no Where (The town shown it self to those in need) -Danny hide his abiltiy. But after a gym incident. and getting Praise by his peer for it instead of scold like with the adult Danny start getting bolder using Floating power around his new friend when no adult is watching. <Vlad who is Working on the Giant Raven paiting for the School Saw this and know imediately What Danny is> -They offically meet each other on the the roof top, when Danny mom ask him to go down the store and by some bread and he decided to try to Air Frog Swim to it. They become friend and Vlad even teach Danny how to fly properly before having to leave (they visit each other alots after the revealation, and vlad is a good adult friend that Danny can talk to) (Danno forgot about the bread and return home breadless) -Jack may stop with the whole Paranormal hunter/ghost scientist job but not Maddie. She keep doing it behind his back due to danny special need in ecto base consumtion (he havent grow abit since the accident and keep getting smaller and it concerning) -Jack found out and they have a Fight. which lead to Maddie go to his Sister house. -Danny Found out about why his dad was so stressed out about ghost thing now. When looking through his parent old stuff with his new friend tucker. (Dude why does your parent have a Picture of the wall painter in thier old junk). He show the image to Vlad. -Danny Get jack to tell the story about the inccident. Dad what if i tell you that Your friend who die 18 year ago survived and is on our front door right now. Reunion, Jack feeling guilty about making them both like this. Go Get Maddie. Happy reunion of the trio. -Fenton Parent become accepting to Danny condition, Danny have a good mentor that can teach him ho to control his power And they live happy ever after for now

#Q/A #good god how do you add read more on a QA #my blood AU #Danny Phantom #danny phantom au #god this is long #hachi text

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edwardelricsrightarm · 3 years ago

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"A lesson without pain is meaningless. For you cannot gain anything without sacrificing something else in return, but once you have overcome it and made it your own...you will gain an irreplaceable fullmetal heart." - Edward Elric

In honor of disability month and the FMA 20 year anniversary I wanted to address some Thoughts™️ about the series.

It's not often you see a disabled protagonist in media where their disability is integral to the story without taking up their entire character, even more so with anime. Yet, Fullmetal Alchemist has not just one disabled Protagonist, but two. The Elric Brothers are an exemplary representation of disability in media that I find myself reflecting on often as a disabled person myself. If you haven't completed the manga or Brotherhood, skip this as it will be brimming with spoilers.

(Mangahood will be my point of reference because while 03 is good on its own merits it's not as fresh within my immediate memory, and I am far less familiar with it. Keep this in mind, I've watched FMAB 10 and a half times whereas I've finished 03 only once years ago.)

The story highlights their disabilities immediately, Edward being a double amputee and Alphonse being without his ENTIRE body, only having the senses of proprioception, sight, and hearing left. Yet, despite this being key to the story and an integral part of their characterization, it is only one facet of their motivations and doesn't take center in the narrative, which is refreshing. It's not inherently negative to make a narrative centered on the characters' disabilities, but often this model of a story goes very wrong very fast and starts to feel hollow (no pun intended). FMA avoids this by making their disabilities a clear part of the plot and their motivations without allowing it to consume the entire story, so the Elric Brothers don't suffer the "my disability is all of my character" problem that many disabled characters are relegated to in a vast portion of media, all while being strong and competent.

Recap:

The brothers wished to revive their mother, but their good intentions cannot change the atrocity of their mistake, Truth makes this abundantly clear from the start. Edward loses his leg first, a punishment for "stepping" into God's shoes and transgressing the place of humans in their world. Alphonse loses his entire body, unable to feel any warmth or simple comforts like food and rest, when all he wanted was to feel the warmth and comfort of his mother's embrace again. At first, Alphonse's entire being is consumed by the gate, but Edward acts immediately, refusing to lose his little brother and refusing to allow his arrogance in this plan to cause his brother's death for only following his lead. Edward gives his right arm to have the gate give back Alphonse's soul, and stated clearly in his panic that he'd give his entire self to save Alphonse if that's what it would take, but Truth took his dominant arm only, showing something akin to mercy, although the character of Truth is capriciously strict and hard to describe as "merciful".

Through giving up his right arm, Edward regains his Right Hand Man, his little brother and best friend. His only remaining family, who he feels responsible for protecting in the absence of their parents. He felt immediately that he'd made a grave mistake, instantly full of regret as he realized the gate had taken his brother. In that moment he was willing to give anything to take it back and undo the suffering his arrogance caused his brother, yet Alphonse was still to suffer more to come. Ed tied Alphonse's disembodied soul to one of Hohenheim's collected suits of armor, managing to at least keep his brother alive in some way. One could say that Alphonse's punishment functioned as a secondary punishment for Edward, showing him how easily his hubris could have cost him what he has left in his obsession with regaining what they'd lost, their mother. A very clear symbolic reminder of the weight of his actions and how he'd misled his brother in his own naive ignorance. Even in giving another limb away to drag his brother's soul back out of the gate, he couldn't offer enough to bring him back intact. Thus is the law of equivalent exchange.

Now that we've reviewed some of that basic symbolism and the motifs the story draws upon with limbs and body parts in relation to characters, let's move on to each individual brother and break it down, shall we?

Edward Elric is a very realistic protagonist, this is one thing a majority of us familiar with this series can agree upon. He feels like a believable teen boy, with layers of complexity to his character while also showing arrogance and immaturity that is unsurprising at his age. He expresses unwillingness to kill and avoidance of unjust violence from the beginning, and has a strong moral code after the ordeal of committing the taboo.

In some characters his cocky personality would typically become grating, yet the story explains in itself why he is this way, then builds upon this to develop him into an incredibly mature character who is willing to admit when he's absolutely wrong and adapts to new information and context for the crisis unfolding around him as it comes, even if he remains crass. This arrogance is shown from the start to be a manifestation of insecurity, self loathing, and repressed guilt. Edward is a logic driven person, he has a very unique thought process, which is where my interpretation of him as autistic comes in. Edward's awkward social demeanor, somewhat abrasive and cold approach to some, and his trouble coping with nonsensical societal structures all stand out in this way. Furthermore he clearly shows hyperfixation, hyperactivity, special interest, and infodumping behaviors that are all too familiar. He's picky with food (*cough* the milk thing), has very little filter and speaks his mind bluntly even if this can warrant conflicting responses, yet at the same time struggles with vulnerable emotions, and he is frustrated when his own routine or itinerary are interrupted by forces beyond his control. All of these things Scream autism with comorbid ADHD. Many traits are shared between the brothers, and I'm quite certain they're both on the autism spectrum based on behavioral patterns. Neurodivergence aside, Edward's physical disabilities are undeniable.

Despite his bratty persona, Edward is fundamentally kind and uncharacteristically gentle and soft around the edges for a shonen protagonist in many ways. He cries openly on many occasions even if he struggles talking about his trauma and burdens in words at times, he feels pain, grief, and compassion so intensely it throws him into action on a regular basis in the narrative. In this way he's also a fantastic example of non-toxic masculinity (though in other ways he has displayed more toxic traits, he's just a kid). He acts on his heart, even if he's led by his mind and logic in most things. His humanity, value for life, and care for others will always win over his logic, and he shows a sense of personal responsibility for doing the right thing even if it harms him in the process. Ed is clearly shown having ghost pains in his lost limbs which is honestly an interesting detail to include, I don't think I've ever seen that aspect of amputation shown in media aside from FMA. It's also shown that when Ed's automail arm breaks this is a HUGE problem for him, but he's also shown to be very good at working around this in difficult circumstances. He doesn't become completely helpless, even if majorly weakened.

Alphonse is an extremely lovable and compassionate boy, brimming with altruism and care for others. Even in his noncorporeal state he pursues a better future and he's not helpless by any stretch. Edward clearly states Alphonse is the superior fighter for example, and it's not just because of his armor body being so large. He's *talented*, that's a fact. Al is every bit as clever and capable as Ed, moreso in some ways, and I love that about his character *because* he's so clearly disabled. He has no sense of pain, he is completely incapable of sleeping, he can't eat, can't relax or find comfort, he can only exist and think. This causes him to overthink in all his time alone, this is debilitating. He clearly is absolutely sick of the loneliness this causes, and he often feels helpless though he's not. He has doubts and fears that consume him in relation to his armor body, he questions his own personhood, even. Yet, Edward is stubborn and staunch in affirming that no matter what he's dealing with, he is fundamentally still a human being that is loved and irreplaceable. Alphonse is powerful and his body gives him some advantages, but it also sets him back, and the brothers know this even when others claim Alphonse's state is somehow a good thing. I have hEDS, a disability that comes with advantages as well as the major downsides, so I can understand and relate to Alphonse here. I too am told my disability is a boon because of flexibility and because I'm less likely to fracture bones, but I'm twice as likely to injure my ligaments and joints, which people ignore.

The brothers are both disabled, both flawed, both show weaknesses, but they are competent, determined, and strong in their own right. They are rounded characters that exist for more than to be pitied or condescended to by able bodied characters around them. They put their entire being in everything that they do no matter what that is, and they don't know the meaning of giving up. These traits that they're made of truly make them a shining example of disability in protagonists for others to look to for reference when writing their own disabled characters.

Even though by the end Edward has regained one limb and Al has regained his body, this also doesn't just deus ex machina reverse their disability or make it go away. It's clear that Alphonse's body is weak and has to be rehabilitated upon recovery, and Edward is still missing his leg and bears the scars and pieces of the port from his automail arm. They weren't suddenly made able bodied upon recovering these things, they reclaimed what was lost through struggle and grit, but the narrative didn't give the impression that their disability in itself was something to be fixed, which is important. They wanted to recover their bodies, but this doesn't erase the effects of their disability.

It was about Edward atoning for leading Alphonse into their mistake and saving his brother from suffering further, it was about them proving they can keep moving forward no matter what, not about getting rid of their disability in itself or putting themselves down because of the disabilities. This, to me, as a mentally and physically disabled viewer, is so important. They achieve their goal, but this doesn't in any way erase or undo the effects of their initial losses, they find ways to adapt and move on but they're still affected and still disabled. They always will be. That can be so important to see in comfort characters, and as a disabled individual who's had both brothers as comfort characters since I was a child, their impact on my own journey is surprisingly tangible for fiction.

#fmab #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #fma #edward elric #alphonse elric #elric brothers #character analysis #disability month #disability positivity #disabled #fma 20th anniversary

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ofcloudsandstars · 4 years ago

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May Magical Forecast

This month is going to be an incredible spiritual ride. There are a lot of aspects encouraging our spiritual growth and that actively want us to pursue deep emotional healing in order to align us to a better path. The Taurus New Moon is all about inner healing and nurturing to achieve growth. That Lunar cycle will bring us two retrogrades (Saturn and Mercury) along with the climax of the Lunar Eclipse at the end of the month. It's time to heal, shed old beliefs and welcome in new opportunities that can open doors!

1 - ☾♑ Spring Crossquarter | Beltane Disseminating Moon | Moon Trine Sun

Today will feel celebratory with the moon trining the sun! This beneficial aspect gives a day of abundance and generosity as the sun and moon are aligned in a harmonious aspect. It will feel extra lovely with it being the pinnacle of Spring! This crossquarter marks the day where we are halfway through Spring at it's height before it blurs into the summertime. It's a lovely day to connect with nature, drink floral tea, appreciate all that is blooming in your life and take advantage of this fertile time to set some intentions!

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Week 1

2 - ☾♒ Mercury in Taurus trines Pluto rx in Capricorn Venus in Taurus sextiles Neptune in Pisces Moon enters Aquarius

A wonderful day for deep introspection, creativity and shadow work. With Mercury in a beneficial trine with Pluto retrograde we can tap into a deeper layer of our consciousness, uncover truths and come to face with some powerful underlying emotions. Our mind and inner power are aligned and we can accomplish a lot if we set our minds to it. With Venus in a lovely sextile with Neptune our sense of beauty, values and pleasures want to work together with our creativity and spirituality. It's a lovely day for art, exploring sensual pleasures and applying that spiritually perhaps through aesthetic rituals or making art that reflects and or explores our beliefs and inner world. With the moon in Aquarius we may feel some minor shifts in our inner world. With the Pluto rx and mercury trine we may feel like changing deep seated habits or changing our physical intimate spaces such as our bedrooms to suit this shift. With the venus and neptune sextile we may feel like expanding our perspective and trying new sensual pursuits that takes us deeper into our spirituality or helps us to escape in wonderlands.

3 - ☾♒ Last Quarter Moon Mercury in Taurus squares Jupiter in Aquarius Sun in Taurus squares Saturn in Aquarius

The Last Quarter moon is a wonderful time for self reflection and meditation. This is a time to review what intentions we've set on the Aries New Moon and what we've released or ended on the Scorpio supermoon. Have our efforts been worth it this cycle? What have we learned? What can we improve on? What can we wrap up before the next cycle begins? With the last quarter moon in Aquarius the themes can be about our freedom, expressing our individuality and making progress with our goals. Are our Aries new moon intentions realized yet? How can we help them progress? The Sun will square Saturn making the day feel slow, repressive and heavy. Our responsibilities can feel like burdens and we can feel restricted by them no matter how hard we work towards them. Though squares build up tension that make us crave action, it is best to process them through reflection. With the Sun and Saturn square we must reflect on what work we have to do and how to best strategize our time to tackle these goals. This can tie into the last quarter moon with reflection and wrapping up any work that needs to be done. With the last quarter moon in Aquarius symbolizing our freedom we can dream up strategies to free ourselves from the burdens of unneeded responsibilities and see what habits or stressful obligations we must cut off if we want to move forward.

4 - ☾♒ Mercury enters Gemini

Mercury enters it's home sign in Gemini!! Mercury the planet of communication, our minds and ideas is naturally at ease in sociable Gemini. For this cycle we will feel our mental energy heighten as we get more curious and chatty. We may find more people socializing and see it in harmony with the lovely spring hastening into Summer. We may also come across a lot more information, both sparking our curious interest but also overwhelming and potentially confusing us. Mercury is a trickster energy so beware of all the information you consume. There may be more gossip at this time, more fake news, more deceit and double sides to everything. However if you are aware of this and have good discernment then this transit will bring a lot of fun conversations and mingling for the next three weeks!

5 - ☾♓ Balsamic Moon | Moon Sextile Sun Moon enters Pisces

The energy will feel great today with the moon sextiling the sun. The two energies will want to work together in order to help wrap up any pressing tasks on our mind or to focus on our home or inner life and apply our energies there. When the Moon sextiles the sun it's a good time to clean your intimate space, cleanse it from the energies built up before and banish anything unwanted from your life. With the moon in Pisces it's a lovely day for bath magic and to take a cleansing shower purifying yourself of energies you no longer want to take with you into the next cycle.

6 - ☾♓ Venus in Taurus trines Pluto rx in Capricorn

We may feel deep and powerful emotions surrounding our values, possessions, relationships and sense of love and validation with Venus in a trine with Pluto in retrograde. Venus and Pluto trines are intense transits which can bring the thing your soul desires the most towards you if only you are aware of this energy and work with it. However with Pluto in retrograde it may bring up past memories of the things/people/situations you desired and your emotions surrounding that along with potential feelings of obsession or depression depending on how those situations went. It's a good day to either journal or set intentions through writing and visualizing what you want. However before you dive into the intentions it's good for self reflection and shadow work to help clear any emotions that may be clouding deep subconscious feelings surrounding certain desires. Do you really feel that you need that in your life or do you obsess over it to have a sense of control or power? Do you really need that control or power in that area of your life or is it stemming from insecurity? Pluto's energy loves to empower but if you try to use that power for manipulation and let your hunger for control cloud your judgement then Pluto easily takes it all away in it's game of sudden death.

7 - ☾♈ Moon enters Aries

The day will feel more energetic as the moon shifts into Aries. When the moon is in Aries it's a good day to go after what you want, channel mars, do fire based magic and practice various exercises that help you connect to your body from dance to martial arts or even yoga.

8 - ☾♈ Venus in Taurus squares Jupiter in Aquarius

Today will feel fun yet gluttonous with Venus in a square with Jupiter. Once again Squares are an aspect that causes tension kind of like if we have a desirable or impulsive thought that is enticing us to take action over and over we can feel restless and frustrated if we cannot get those needs met. When we do take action because this aspect causes tension we can often be met with opposition if we just act on impulse without thinking. Therefore this aspect is great for reflection and strategizing before action. Pay attention to what Venus squares Jupiter makes you crave. Do you want to socialize more? Indulge more? Play more? You can definitely fulfill these desires today and today will feel incredible if you let yourself loose however with this unstable aspect it can easily put a strain on your finances as you may indulge too deeply. However if this aspect is stressing you out to the point of FOMO and you feel like compensating with retail therapy this is when it's time to stop yourself and apply that reflection/strategy. Is there another way you can fulfill these needs of socializing or enjoying pleasures without impulsive reactions like buying a bunch of shit online for a quick dose of serotonin only to realize you wasted your money and don't really need any of those things?? Is there another outlet you can enjoy yourself instead??

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Week 2

9 - ☾♉ Venus enters Gemini Moon enters Taurus

Today will feel fun and flirty with the moon entering sensual Taurus and Venus starting a new transit in Gemini. With Venus in Gemini we may feel more flirtatious in this period as our curiosity motivates us on romantic and social levels. We will feel more inclined to want to go out, spend time socializing and trying things out on a superficial level. This can be a fun time to experiment (not just in dating but any fun experiences you always wanted to try) and mingle but not do anything too serious. We may find beauty more in words and attraction in flirtatious messages as we tend to bond more readily on a mental level while Venus is in this air sign. The shadowy part of this aspect is it may tend to bring out people's flakey sides as you may notice more ghosting if people's curiosity fails to be satiated.

10 - ☾♉

There are no notable transits today other than the moon in Taurus. When the moon is in Taurus it's a good time for exploring your sensualities, green magic and taking time to rest and indulge.

11 - ☾♉ New Moon in Taurus Mercury in Gemini sextiles Chiron in Aries Mercury conjunct North Node in Gemini

It's a powerful day today with a new lunar cycle starting in Taurus. As the Aries lunar cycle has come to it's end we've set intentions revolving around our sense of courage to maintain our freedom and fight for what we want. Now this lunar cycle asks us to stay on course, commit to our goals, yet not in an arduous grind kind of way. This cycle wants us to tend to our goals gently to allow them space to bud and grow. The themes of this new moon will be highlighted by some powerful aspects hosted by Mercury the planet of our mind and communication. Mercury will be in a beneficial sextile with Chiron in Aries which will make our minds want to focus on our healing. It will be a nurturing time where we will feel inclined to make space to focus on anything not working in our life or past painful experiences and try to remedy them or create better habits moving forward. Mercury will also be conjunct the North Node in Gemini which is aligning our minds towards the collective karmic growth. This day may make us review how we have been nurturing ourselves and how we heal and if we can align ourselves to be in harmony with our current paths. (Additionally Chiron will also be sextiling the North Node as well so this energy is adding to it). On this New Moon some good questions to ask yourself for this new cycle is how you can commit to nurturing yourself, valuing yourself and healing bad habits/mindsets moving forward? With Uranus in Taurus there will be some aid to help break up the stubborn signs energy and help change old habits. (At one point the moon will conjunct Uranus too so the energy of change will be in the air). You can set intentions to aim to change old unhelpful habits and tend to yourself, your healing and your goals more.

12 - ☾♊ Mars in Cancer squares Chiron in Aries Mars in Cancer sextiles Uranus in Taurus Mercury in Gemini trines Saturn in Aquarius Moon enters Gemini

Today's energy is great if you are aware of how to use it. Otherwise it can cause a lot of pain. Immediately I must warn of the Mars and Chiron square as that is a dangerous combination that can warrant a health hazard or cause physical pain and even traumatic fights. Be aware of your space, your body, your boundaries and how others could be processing the energy. Please be careful.

However on a good note, though the energy today may feel initially stressful it can be the gun powder to help shift some good change in your life. Mars is in a sextile with Uranus in Taurus which fuels our drive to want to create a change or work towards freedom no matter the challenge or obstacle. The thing is with the Mars and Chiron square that motivation may come from us trying to heal issues or run away from pain or the past in order to find freedom of it. However like all squares they really need reflection instead of impulsive reaction (which Mars is too good at). Instead of acting on impulse without awareness of this energy- which could potentially cause accidents- it would be best to reflect on what the source of pain is that you would want to change and strategize on how to change it before immediately taking action. Then you can make wiser decisions. Two planets that are willing to help with this are Mercury and Saturn in a beneficial trine. The planet of our mind and responsibility are in a harmonious aspect which will allow us to review our tasks with maturity and process information/exercise decision making with wisdom and patience. Together this energy can help us make the best decisions and take on any hard tasks mentally which can guide us to make positive change in the future and help heal. With the moon in Gemini we can pick apart our emotions with details and help have a more objective understanding of our inner world, however this energy can create distractibility so it's best to organize your day with a list or do whatever is best to tackle problems in an organized way that suits you.

13 - ☾♊ Jupiter enters Pisces Sun conjunct Lilith in Taurus Sun in Taurus sextiles Neptune in Pisces

Today we ascend into the spiritual realm!! We will feel a powerful yet dreamy energy shift today with some incredible ingresses and aspects guiding us into the more magical side of things. First Jupiter is entering Pisces!!! This encourages us to expand our spirituality, expand and explore our magic!! Adventure upon our spiritual and magical paths, expand upon our creativity and really explore our compassion and empathy for the collective. Jupiter will have a retrograde this year returning it to Aquarius and then go back into Pisces for a longer while but this transit will last through the summertime making Summer 2021 a dreamy magical time to spiritually explore ourselves. Today's shift will be amplified by the Sun sextiling Neptune which means the themes of the day want us to focus on our spirituality, creativity and compassion. We will feel inclined to tap into our magical side and do something about it!! The Sun will also be conjunct Lilith in Taurus (also making Neptune sextile that point as well). This will be an interesting combination to add as Lilith is a bit like the dark side of the moon as this point represents our repressed emotions and shadow side. With Lilith in the mix it's like the imps are out the play in the fairyworld we are about to enter. The themes wants us to focus on our shadow side and work with our shadow in order to understand our repressed sides and potential unmet needs. With Neptune in it's sextile it may encourage unhealthy escapism which could lead to substance abuse. This is a great day for shadow work and being aware of anything you could have buried in order to heal it. There are many transits aligned with your healing to help you address these issues in order to have inner harmony and evolve. Also being aware of this make sure to protect your space from others that may not be aware of their shadow side so that you are protected. Neptunal energy loves to dissolve boundaries and now with Jupiter the expansive planet in Neptune we may have more boundaries breeched than ever before. It's good to protect your energy and your space.

14 - ☾♊

There are no notable transits today other than the moon completing it's transit in Gemini. When the moon is in Gemini it's a good day to explore topics that pique your interest, try new things, read articles and books, practice air based magic, sound based magic (such as meditating to binural beats or sound bowls), practice bibliomancy and journal new ideas.

15 - ☾♋ Moon enters Cancer

The moon enters it's home sign of Cancer today. It's a lovely day to take a moment to focus on your personal space, your emotional state, tidy your space and nurture yourself. --------------- 16 - ☾♋

There are no notable transits today other than the moon in Cancer. When the moon is in cancer it's a good time to practice any form of cottage magic such as kitchen magic, bath magic, self care, reflecting on your emotions and practicing shadow work and taking personal time to rest and recoup.

17 - ☾♋ Waxing Crescent | Sun Sextile Moon Sun in Taurus trines Pluto rx in Capricorn

Today is a good day to act upon any plans or work towards any goals and intentions set during the Taurus new moon. When the Sun sextiles the Moon the two energies want to work together and gives us a boost of energy to get things done. The Sun will also be in a lucky trine today with Pluto retrograde giving us a deeper sense of power if we are aware of how to tap into it. Some themes we can encounter today would highlight our power or how we can empower ourselves. Alternatively it can help us untangle our subconscious fears (which can surround around lack of power) and help with healing. Either way this day wants us to work towards our goals and explore new paths and areas of interests which can help us on our journey.

18 - ☾♌ Venus in Gemini sextiles Chiron in Aries Moon enters Leo

This lunar cycle is really about healing as we have back to back aspects forcing us to do shadow work and heal within. Another aspect we will be influenced by will be Venus sextiling Chiron in Aries which is a beneficial aspect that makes us want to heal our relationships, reassess our values and address any trauma in areas of romance or partnerships. It will feel less moody and contemplative and more proactive as the sextile will push us to make action in order to heal. We may feel more inclined to mend the relationships in our lives. With the moon in Leo the flavor of the day may feel a bit more dramatic with everything going on but this placement will make us aware of our needs and urge us towards self love.

19 - ☾♌ First Quarter Moon

This first quarter moon is a good time to reflect on your New Moon in Taurus intentions and what you have learned and worked towards so far during the waxing crescent lunar phase. Is there anything not working? Any challenges you could be facing in your journey? This first quarter moon is a rest stop to examine your previous choices and strategize for the future. It's not good to take action now or else you may come face to face with resistance. It's good to reflect. The first quarter moon was highlighted by the Venus x Chiron sextile the day before. In the journey of this Taurean lunar phase asking us to commit to our self love and growth we may find under this Leo moon how we have been honoring and loving ourselves and our projects during this cycle so far. If you do not feel like you have been making progress with your growth in certain areas it's time to reassess and find out how. This is a good day to plan barrier breaking and road opening magic to break down obstacles in your way or bring new opportunities towards you when the moon turns into it's waxing gibbous phase.

20 - ☾♍ Sun enters Gemini Venus in Gemini trines Saturn in Aquarius Moon enters Virgo

Gemini season begins!! This is the last chapter of Spring when the air gets noticably warmer, the eve of Summer is on our doorsteps and we are feeling more social and mingling than ever. This is a great time to explore interests, make new acquaintances and share/explore ideas. This time is also very flighty and full of confusion with a pinch of (fun) chaos. As long as you manage to have fun during this season it's always a good time. Today we may feel inclined to work on our relationships and finances with a more mature approach as Venus forms a lucky trine with Saturn. This is a great time to organize your finances, put aside savings and also address any self love/self worth or issues with partnerships in a mature way. It's a good grounding start to a typically messy season. What will add to this is the moon in Virgo helping us to organize and solve any issues we are facing in our daily lives.

21 - ☾♍ Sun in Gemini squares Jupiter in Pisces

Today is all about expanding into the deep! With the Sun in a square with Jupiter there is built up energy ready to explode into fireworks!! Jupiter wants us to follow this enticing nudge to dive into our creativity, explore our spirituality and consume all that piques our curiosity in these areas. However it's good to have some discernment when exploring your spiritual interests and to have some moderation if you feel that this pull is making you interested in escapism instead. It will feel like an intensely magical day and a great day to do magic! If you are feeling like you are in a spiritual or magical slump it's a good day to mark to do something fun or discover something new.

22 - ☾♎ Waxing Gibbous | Sun Trine Moon

Today is the lucky transit between the Sun and the Moon which adds a boost of luck to our day if we are aware and tap into it. It's a good day to review what you've strategized on the first quarter moon in Leo and go for it. If you still feel blocked it's a great day for road opening and barrier breaking spells. It's a fantastic day for attraction magic and bringing opportunities your way. As the moon is in Libra spells that would get a boost would be for love, any partnerships, harmony (diffusing conflict) and justice.

--------------- 23 - ☾♎ Saturn enters Retrograde -until Oct 11th! Mercury in Gemini squares Neptune in Pisces

Saturn enters Retrograde today until the 11th of October! When this planet moves in reverse it's a karmic time fusing our past and present. If we have been slacking or avoiding issues this retrograde will dish out a lesson or encounter which will cause us to face the consequences. If we have been dutiful and responsible then this retrograde will bring great luck and alignment. Saturn retrograde energy is very much like the big bad wolf coming to blow down your house and your house is your past efforts. If you took time to build a brick house you have little to be concerned for now, in fact you can take a break. If your house isn't sturdy, well.. brace yourself. Saturn just wants us to work hard and be the best we can be so take this retrograde as a time of reflection and making time to address your obligations and sorting things out. If you have a few tasks you have to take care of and are feeling frozen in place, make a to do list and make a smaller bullet point list of what to do for each step so you can have a clearer idea of your path.

Another transit today is Mercury and Neptune in a square. This tension can make us a bit cloudy and confused and very prone to daydreaming or escapism. The combination with Saturn retrograde could make the day feel uneasy, however that may really depend on how you've handled past responsibilities. This square can let you take it easy and daydream or can make you feel more confused than ever. It's still a good idea to protect your boundaries and make sure you set time aside to get what you need done then enjoy the rest of the transit fulfilling your creativity or escapist needs.

24 - ☾♏ Moon enters Scorpio

There are no other notable transits today other than the moon entering Scorpio. When the moon enters scorpio it's a good time to dive deep, banish and do some shadow work.

25 - ☾♏

The moon is wrapping up it's transit in Scorpio today.

26 - ☾♐ Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Sagittarius

The Eclipse chapter begins! The Sagittarius Full Moon asks us to see the bigger picture in the day to day details and align ourselves with our truths and authenticity instead of getting distracted by any interesting piece of information or ideas that don't entirely serve us. It's nature is because the Sagittarius moon is opposite the Gemini sun so it's merging two sides of the same coin to get a grander perspective on the lesson that this zodiac season is trying to guide us through. However Eclipses are all about endings and transformation. Lunar Eclipses are best for undoing obstacles and banishment (where as Solar is best for inner death/transformation/rebirth.) This Eclipse chapter will take us from this Full Moon Sagittarius eclipse into the Gemini New Moon Eclipse. From Full to New Moon Eclipse the journey can be about overcoming tests and challenges, doors closing while new ones opens and obstacles finally getting out of your way as you enter the new karmic chapter in your life. Eclipses activate the lunar Nodes which is why they feel so karmic and help align you to your destiny.

The theme of this eclipse may be felt on a more mental and spiritual level. Sagittarius is pushing for us to find the truth, knowledge, enlightenment and elevate us from just focusing on the details or irrelevant information. What will add to this is Neptune squaring the eclipse that can help dissolve all the boundaries as well as limiting beliefs we've put on our minds to help us push towards freedom and higher truths. (Neptune squares can cause delusion though but they can also bring divine messages.)

It's a good day to review what mindsets and fears you want to break free from and shed what is no longer serving you.

Charging items on an eclipse or making moon water can be tricky business. This is not the same energy of a Super Moon (when the moons orbit is closest to the earth as it becomes a full moon therefore making it huge)- where the lunar energy feels doubled. Eclipse energy is undoing type of magic which is fantastic in a lot of spells especially barrier breaking/road opening and hexing but if you want to charge crystals or magical tools that help promote energy you may be asking your tools to absorb energy that seeks to undo. As long as you are aware of how this energy acts out you should be fine in deciding what you'd like to charge or not, but just keep in mind that eclipses are a different energy.

27 - ☾♐ Venus in Gemini squares Neptune in Pisces

Today we may really feel the unstable eclipse energy with the Venus and Neptune square exacerbating things. It may be best to take some time to yourself and protect your boundaries. With Venus and Neptune in a square there can be paranoia with our relationships, feelings of emotional fog, desires for sensual escapism, a lack of motivation to work, deception from other people and confusion in our spiritual values. It is a good time for reflection but even so the reflection can be met with inner confusion. It's a good time to understand that the world (and possibly yourself) is going through a lot of changes and not act rashly. It's also a good day to process emotions through art or journaling. Also taking time to nurture yourself and take plenty of naps.

28 - ☾♑ Moon enters Capricorn

There are no other notable transits today other than the moon entering Capricorn. When the moon is in Capricorn it's a great day to tackle tasks and focus on responsibilities, practice boundary setting, mineral and earth based magic, ancestral magic and working on something you've been putting off.

29 - ☾♑ Mercury enters Retrograde -until the 22nd June Mercury conjunct Venus in Gemini

Today our minds and hearts are fused as one with Mercury and Venus aligned in Gemini. We may feel very reflective on our friendships and possible relationships with our siblings or close ones as Mercury will enter retrograde today. Following the themes of the eclipse we may wonder if the people we currently surround ourselves with share our like minds and ideas or if they turn out to be not so great for us and steer us away from who we are supposed to be.

This Mercury retrograde wants us to reflect in our areas of close friendships, our mentality and how we communicate our ideas. It is a very reflective mental journey following the eclipse that may want us to align with our authenticity by getting rid of beliefs that are not good for us and instead focusing on ideas that help us grow.

--------------- 30 - ☾♒ Moon enters Aquarius

There are no notable transits today other than the moon entering Aquarius. When the moon is in Aquarius it's a great day for meditation, learning something new, weather magic, techno magic and making personal changes to your space.

31 - ☾♒ Disseminating Moon | Moon Trine Sun Mars in Cancer trines Neptune in Pisces

We end the month with the Moon trining the sun. This beneficial aspect makes the day feel lucky and brings an extra boost of harmony to our lives. We may feel more generous and sociable under this transit. Another beneficial aspect is Mars trining Neptune which is lucky energy if we remember to tap into it. Trines can be so harmonious we hardly realize them passing by. However if we want to apply energy or work towards our creativity, spirituality and arts we will find a lot of success today due to the Mars and Neptune trine. It's a lovely day for creativity, art and practicing magic.

#astrology #may #transits #full moon eclipse #saturn retrograde #mercury retrograde #eclipse #full moon #lunar eclipse #witchcraft

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recurring-polynya · 3 years ago

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What’s your opinion on pre-canon Renruki?

I think that they already had a romantic or almost romantic relationship back in the Academy, maybe even back in Rukongai, and the reason it wasn’t explicit is because firstly it would have spoiled the endgame couples, and secondly it’s a shonen, so it’s implied.

I think they fooled around when they were orphans in Inuzuri. They grew up together, they were always together in their “teenage” years (however adolescence works for souls😅), I think it’s not impossible that they had their first experience, if just their first kiss and make out session, with each other. When they joined the Academy, they spent less time together due to their different courses, and I think Rukia’s sad expression when Renji leaves for the mission in the real world depicts that (along with worry for him, and maybe even jealousy for his achievements compared to hers). By then I think they were quite intimate, they fooled around sometimes (with the little time they had) and knew the other’s and their own feelings, but never said anything like “I love you”, or talked seriously about the depth of their relationship. If they were “just friends”, as some antis like to claim, they wouldn’t have been so heartbroken, have so many regrets and felt so guilty during their separation. And why that separation in the first place? It’s not a matter of class difference, because Rukia did talk to people of inferior status, like her Squad mates. What’s actually forbidden to people from different classes is relationships. If Renruki was just a friendship, there would have been no problem, but their bond was beyond that. Rukia wanted Renji to tell her to stay with him, but his feelings of inferiority and belief that Rukia deserved better (maybe even better than him) prevented him to do it. Their separation doesn’t feel like an end to a friendship to me, it feels like a breakup. They avoided each other because it hurt so much, and they couldn’t bear to have any relationship other than a romantic one, which was impossible once she became a Kuchiki.

After the Soul Society arc, they got back together. They were physically too comfortable around each other to be just friends, like when he basically hugged her to encourage her to go back to Soul Society when Orihime is kidnapped (and maybe he was also comforting her), or when, during the fight with the Fullbringers, he casually placed her head resting on his thigh. By then they were secretly dating, in my opinion. In the last arc they were always together, it’s so easy imagining them as a couple.

What do you think? Is my interpretation far fetched? I’d like to hear your theories about their feelings, when they blossomed, when they confessed, if they had something going on during their Academy years…

Thank you if you decide to answer!🤍

Well, as you say, Bleach is a shounen, and also I don’t think Kubo was particularly interested in including romance in the story, so I don’t think there is a correct or incorrect interpretation. It’s left to the reader to imagine what they like. I don’t think “spoiling the endgame” has anything to do with anything.

I don’t think your interpretation is “too far-fetched,” although I don’t happen to agree with it. There’s very little to go on in canon, people can fill in the gaps in whatever way makes them happy/makes sense to them. I have exactly 0 interest in arguing with people on the internet about stuff like this. I enjoy reading fanfiction that has wildly different interpretations from my own, I generally love to hear a variety of ideas, although I generally prefer the format of a narrative over Tumblr posts (funny, since I do seem to write a lot of them).

Anyway, here are a bunch of opinions. This is way, way too long, so I'm gonna throw it under a cut.

That being said, you have some really amatonormative ideas in there that I do take issue with. Friendships absolutely can be as deep and important as romantic relationships. I categorically reject the idea that a romantic bond is stronger than a friendship one or that acts of physical affection necessarily imply a romantic relationship. I actually have no beef at all with people who want to read Rukia and Renji’s story as a very strong friendship. I do think it was still reasonable for Renji to avoid her during their separation, even if his goal wasn’t romance. He wanted to see her live a better life, and didn’t want to drag her down. Yeah, sure, if he just wanted to be a casual workplace friend, he probably could have joined Squad 13 and seen her once in a while. But, especially in the early days, it would have been a bad look for Rukia to continue socializing with people deeply below her station, and I feel in my heart that Byakuya would have forbidden her from seeing Renji if he found out she was hanging out with someone from her Inuzuri days, even if it was just casual. Yeah, there exist people who say Rukia and Renji are "just friends" for the sake of other preferred ships, but also, like, so what? Who cares? That’s a lot better than making Renji out to be a bad person or trashing his character. To be honest, I am generally happy to read a fanfic that had some other Renji or Rukia pairing if it actually contained some solid Renruki best friend content (I have found a few 369 fics that do this, and maybe also in the little bit of RenIchi content I have read, so, uh, good job, my gays. This is sometimes touched on in ByaRen fics, but usually not as much as I want, althought I also tend to hold these to a high bar, because if I have to deal with Byakuya in my fanfics, they should have to deal with the Rukia-Renji friendship 😂)

Anyway, you asked for my interpretation, so here it is . These are all just, like, my opinions, man:

Life in Inuzuri just really, really, really sucks, and Rukia and Renji both have a lot of trauma and emotional hang-ups from that time. I think they forged a deep emotional connection during this time that was probably a little too codependent to actually be healthy. They had no models of healthy families or relationships. I also think they were incredibly close to Fujimaru, Kosaburou, and Mameji, and that even if they wanted to have a romantic relationship, they wouldn’t have, at the risk of ruining the more important bonds of the larger group.

In my fanfic, in their last days in Inuzuri, I do have them fool around for a brief period. It coincides with the deterioration of the bond with their last surviving friend, leading to his death. I did this for trauma reasons, because that’s how writers are.

“Communication” is probably the most important theme in my writing, and a thing I bring up all the time is that young Rukia and Renji had a thousand ways of communicating survival-based things between each other, and 0 ways of communicating how they felt about each other.

I did a post on this recently, but their whole gang was incredibly powerless in Inuzuri. They lived on the fringes of society and stole scraps to survive. I think that their number one duty to one another was to survive. In the anime, Rukia swears that she will never leave Inuzuri, that she will always stay with her friends. I think the reason she does an about-face is not just because their friends are gone, but because she realizes that she will lose Renji next, and the only way to prevent that is for both of them to get stronger. Neither of them actually wants to become a soul reaper. They do it for each other.

I think that Renji would have remained in Inuzuri and tried to make a life as best they could, but Rukia knew this was futile, and where Rukia goes, Renji follows.

I think they purposely maintained distance at the Academy. Just as in Inuzuri, their primary duty to one another is to survive and thrive. They were rejected and mocked for their low origins, and hanging out together would have made this worse. I think it hurt Rukia that Renji made new friends, but on the other hand, they were exactly the sort of people who would help him get a leg up in the Gotei. Rukia’s Academy days were very painful because she saw Renji succeeding, just as she wanted, but leaving her behind in the process. Conversely, Renji got super focused on doing well, with the idea that he could pull Rukia up behind him, except for the part where he never actually told her that.

I feel like I’m in the minority here, but so much fanfic focuses on Rukia and/or Renji being “wrong” in the scene where he tells her to go to the Kuchiki, but I disagree! Everything they have done is in order to get to a better life! It is Renji’s duty to encourage her to leave him behind. He doesn’t want to be an anchor holding her down. Likewise, Rukia knows that if she doesn’t go, she’s just gonna be a burden on him. Their relationship has always been about each of them surviving separately over having happiness together. Up to now, they’ve always managed to find each other again, although this kinda looks like it might be it for them. Do these kids need to go to therapy? Yes! Did they do anything wrong? No!

I think about this a lot, but even if Rukia had turned down the adoption (which… I’m not actually sure she could have), even the offer would have ruined their relationship. Imagine that Renji asks her to stay, and she does. Maybe they even get together at this point. Every rough patch, every time there’s money troubles, this spectre of “Rukia could have been a Kuchiki” is going to hang over them. In fiction, there is often an idea of sacrifice being a one-time romantic gesture, but in my real life experience, this sort of thing hangs around like an unwanted ghost. I can, in fact, envision a scenario where this is exactly how Aizen manages to get his hooks in Renji, by offering Rukia an unseated spot in Squad 5, even though she “isn’t really good enough to deserve it” and “taking care of them.”

I am really fascinated with Rukia’s crush on Kaien/Miyako. Bold proclamation here, but I think there is something developmentally healthy about young people having crushes on the older people in their lives, provided that said older people treat them with respect and dignity and don’t take advantage of it in any way. Crushes are, by their nature of being unreciprocated, a safe way for young folks to imagine the sort of people and relationships they want to have in their lives. I headcanon Rukia as bisexual, and maybe also a little bit genderfluid, and she had these two extremely cool people in her life, whom she maybe wanted to be and maybe wanted to kiss and maybe to have a marriage like that some day. I… like to think that their role in her life healed some of her trauma before their death caused even more.

Fully into headcanons now, but I like to think that Renji had a parallel experience, with, of all people, Ikkaku and Yumichika. Like him, they came from the ass-end of Rukongai, but they stuck together instead of bowing to the social mores of the Seireitei. It is critical to note that they were able to do this through strength. This is literally not a thing that Renji and Rukia could have done, but at the same time, Renji sees this as the kind of relationship he wants to have with a partner. He doesn’t want to look after Rukia and protect her, he wants to fight back-to-back with her and then make out afterwards. He’s still convinced that he needs to go through the proper class channels to see Rukia again, but without their influence, I don’t think he ever would have been able to say “fuck it” and turn on his captain during the Soul Society Arc.

Meeting Ichigo and dealing with his unreasonable need to protect everyone he cares about, personally, was also a huge blow to Rukia and Renji’s “I cannot allow the other person to take any risks for my sake” hang-up. Ichigo has his own traumas, which are entirely different from Renruki’s, but the one thing he had was growing up in a loving family. (Isshin has his problems, but I feel strongly that he always made his kids feel like his love was unconditional). I’m not saying that making friends with a shounen protagonist is a good replacement for therapy, but it does have healing properties.

Entirely off-topic, but I feel like Ichigo is incredibly selfish in the way of Terry Pratchett’s witches: “All witches are selfish, the Queen had said. But Tiffany’s Third Thoughts said: Then turn selfishness into a weapon! Make all things yours! Make other lives and dreams and hopes yours! Protect them! Save them! Bring them into the sheepfold! Walk the gale for them! Keep away the wolf! My dreams! My brother! My family! My land! My world! How dare you try to take these things, because they are mine!

Where were we? Oh, yeah. I honestly think that it is unknowable when in canon Rukia and Renji confessed. I already covered this pretty thoroughly in this post. I hate the idea that they were secretly dating. Renji worked incredibly hard to get his post and I think that both his job and Byakuya’s respect are very important to him. I do not think he would put either of those things at risk like that, nor would Rukia want him to. I tend to prefer a slow-burn approached, and I honestly think they got together during the 17-mo timeskip at the earliest, and more likely post-canon entirely, although I think them confessing in the Royal Realm is the spiciest possible outcome, so that’s what most of my fanfic cleaves to.

#renruki #did tumblr increase number of characters you can have in an ask?#i was honestly surprised when i opened this one and saw how long it was

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stellarstarwarsimagines · 4 years ago

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75 and 94 with Sith Anakin :)

Thank you so much for requesting this because this has to be one of my favorite Anakin stories I’ve ever written. It’s super sad, but I still hope you enjoy! :D

This was not how you wanted today to go. It wasn’t supposed to be a difficult mission. Get the supplies, and get out. Was it a dangerous place? Of course, but everything was these days with the Empire marking their territory wherever they went. But never in your wildest dreams had you expected there to be Inquisitors hiding there, and never had you expected to have to deal with two. As good of a Jedi as Ezra was becoming, he wasn’t able to take on one by himself yet, and you had done the best you could to make sure he was out of harm’s way before surrendering.

You knew Kanan would kill you for it if you ever saw him again, but you cared more about Ezra staying alive than getting killed yourself.

They had stripped you of your lightsaber and cuffed you, leading you to a star cruiser that they mentioned belonged to Lord Vader. They seemed to enjoy talking about what he was going to do to you, and how they hoped they would get to watch.

Having heard of Lord Vader, the atrocities he had done, the only thing you could do was hope that you could find a way to annoy him enough to make your death as quick and as painless as possible. After all, you didn’t fear death anymore.

Not when it would bring you back to the love of your life.

You showed no resistance as you were shoved into an interrogation chair and strapped in, all fight drained out of your body. What was the point? Unless the Ghost Crew could pull off another miracle, you were about to die. You just had to make sure you didn’t give up any Rebellion secrets while you were doing so.

Eventually the two Inquisitors left you with your thoughts, and you took this moment to close your eyes in meditation, saying a final goodbye to those you loved. Obi-Wan, your oldest friend who had saved your life more times than you could count, Ahsoka, the girl you had watched become a warrior with the kindest heart you knew, Rex and Rutt, the two clones who had laid down their lives for you. Then there was the newest, but some of the most important members of your family. Hera, the sister you never knew you needed, Zeb who always could make you smile no matter what the situation, Sabine, the selfless and talented woman who always put others first, Ezra, the young and incredible Jedi you had been helping to train, and then there was Kanan. Sweet, amazing, Kanan who had done more for you in the past few years than you could remember.

A tear dripped down your face as you could almost feel the man through the Force, a flicker of anxiety and turmoil from miles and miles away. You knew he wouldn’t want you to give up, you knew he would try to save you, but if it was time . . . It was time.

Your only regret was knowing that you were leaving behind the most important -

You heard him before you saw him, his boots were heavy on the shining black floor. The darkness surrounding the man in the Force was suffocating, and you dropped your head, trying not to drown in it. “A Jedi, surrendering . . . I never would have expected it.” Was all he said from behind you, the voice diluted with a modulator from the mask you knew he wore.

“What did you expect? Me to let you kill my friend? I suppose that’s what the Empire would do.” You responded, your voice shakier than you would have liked.

He chose to ignore your words, his footsteps pacing back and forth behind you, allowing you just a glimpse of black and the silver flash of your lightsaber in his hands. “Where did you get this lightsaber?” Vader asked.

Was that the question that he wanted to open with? You would have assumed there would have been some threatening, the usual, tell me what you know about the rebellion, where is the secret base, blah, blah, blah. Not where you got your lightsaber. After all, that answer was so obvious you didn’t feel the need to respond.

“Do I need to repeat my question?” Vader asked once more, his voice calm, and didn’t even give you a chance to respond to him. You felt a pressure around your throat, growing stronger with every passing moment until you couldn’t get any air into your lungs. You started coughing, your hands trying to fly to your throat, but unable to strapped down at your sides. Tears of panic formed in your eyes as you struggled against an unforeseen force, but then as quickly as it had arrived, it was gone, leaving you gasping for air. “Where did you get this lightsaber?”

You were scared. You hated to admit it, you knew that Jedi weren’t supposed to feel it, but you were. The darkness Vader seemed to emit almost smothered you in your entirety. You had never felt someone so dark, and your fear, as it always had when it reared its ugly head, made you lash out. “Where do you think I got it? A market? I made it! Went to Ilum, found a crystal, constructed it myself -” You choked out before he interrupted you.

“You’re lying!” The sudden burst of emotion in his voice shocked you. From what you had heard about Vader he was always calm, precise, even when he was in the midst of torturing someone. “I know the woman who made this, and she is dead!”

“Oh, so I’m dead? Good to know. It’ll save us a lot of trouble here then won’t -”

You felt a hand grip your hair, tugging it up sharply until you were face to face with the mask Vader hid behind, and in that moment . . . something changed.

The dark, terrifying, intimidating, Darth Vader gasped out your name in a low, weak voice and collapsed to his knees in front of you.

This version of Vader frightened you even more than the one you had seen earlier. “W-what are you doing?”

He didn’t answer you. For several moments, he stared at you through those black lenses, and you wondered how he could even see you through them. You knew he was though. You could feel his gaze piercing your skin like a glacier, sending chills all the way from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. You didn’t want to look at him any longer, hating the way it made you feel, and that was when his head dropped. You watched him with confused eyes as his gloved hands went to his helmet and began to lift it off, something you knew he never did, to reveal a head of dirty blonde waves, the ends of them brushing the shoulders of his dark robes.

Then, he lifted his head, and you were met with achingly familiar eyes, even with their change of color.

That was when the fragile pieces of your life came crashing down around you. For several years now, all you had ever been sure of, was that Anakin Skywalker was dead. Your Force connection with him had been so strong. It was the only explanation for it blinking out of existence the way it had, ripping what felt like a part of your soul along with it. Obi-Wan had told you that he was dead. That the Emperor had killed him.

Yet here he sat, on his knees in front of you, looking as fragile and distraught as you felt. You had stared into that handsome face too many times to confuse it with anyone else. You knew every single inch of that man, he had been seared into your memory, and there was no doubt in your mind that despite everything you believed, it was Anakin in front of you.

“The Emperor . . . he told me that you were dead. That Obi-Wan had killed you.” His gloved hand went to your cheek, touching you as if you were made of glass. “If I had known . . .”

His touch, something that you had longed for, dreamed of for so long, tore you apart. It couldn’t be real. It couldn’t be happening no matter what you were seeing. Was Vader putting these thoughts in your head somehow? There were three people in the whole universe who knew how deep and strong you and Anakin’s love had been. How could he have found out something so personal to torture you with? Because that’s what this was, the deepest torture you had ever had to endure, and you knew, if Vader kept this vision going he could get whatever he wanted from you. As long as he let you stay here with Anakin. Tears started filling your eyes once more as you looked at him, his face even more vibrant than it was in your memories. “I wish this was real,” you whimpered, your fingers itching to touch him, but unable to in your secured state. Instead you leaned into his touch, nuzzling against his gloved palm. “All I’ve ever wanted was to see you once last time.”

Then something incredible happened. Anakin reached out, and undid your restraints, catching you in his arms as you collapsed. “This is real! I am real!” He said, squeezing you so tight in his arms he could have broken your ribs, but you didn’t care because it felt so good. You were right back where you belonged, safe, comfortable and free in Anakin’s arms.

Free . . .

He had let you out of your straps. Vader never would have let that happen, even in a vision. It would be too dangerous. Your eyes shifted to the helmet that lay at Anakin’s side, and your world collapsed once more. “No . . .” You murmured, shaking your head. “Please no, no, no,” you murmured the word over and over again, tears dripping down your face in a stream as your hand reached for the helmet, holding the cold metal in your hand. You pulled back enough to look into those eyes, those red and orange eyes that now seemed so different. “Anakin, please tell me you’re not Vader. Tell me you’re not the one -”

“It doesn’t matter,” His hands cupped your cheeks, forcing you to look at him. “It doesn’t matter, don’t you see? You’re alive, and now we can put everything behind us! We can do what we always dreamed of doing -”

There was so much desperation in his voice you felt your heart shattering again. It was too much, trying to reconcile the man you grew up with, the man you loved, with all the things that you knew Vader had done. “You’ve killed so many . . . Killed Jedi . . . People we knew . . . destroyed villages . . .” You couldn’t look him in the eyes anymore. Your emotions were drowning you, burying you underwater with each and every new atrocity that you remembered Vader had committed and bringing you to a conclusion that left a giant, gaping wound in your chest. “Anakin, you’ve become a -”

“No!” The anger and frustration in his voice had you cringing. “Don’t you understand?! I had nothing! Ahsoka was gone, Obi-Wan was gone, you were gone! What was I supposed to do?”

“Not turn to the dark side! Anakin, you’re breaking my heart all over again . . . How could you do those things?” You sobbed, trying to pull away from him when every bone in your body craved to keep being held by him.

His grip became tighter, crushing you to his chest. “You were dead, and it was the Jedi’s fault. They deserved everything they got.”

His words shook you more than anything else he had said. He had done all this . . . Because of you? He had turned to the dark side, destroyed villages, people, tortured hundreds . . . because he thought you were dead.

Despair ripped through your body, as you came to the realization that all of this was your fault. If only you hadn’t believed Obi-Wan when he told you Anakin was dead. If you had gone looking for him yourself instead of escaping to Tatooine to hide from the Empire, none of this might have happened. “But I’m not dead, Anakin . . . I never was.” You looked up once more, meeting his gaze through your tears. “What other lies has the Emperor been telling you?”

You watched as he absorbed your words, but his face was unreadable.

“Lord Vader!” A panicked voice broke through the bubble the two of you had created and you flinched as Anakin’s hand shot out and sent the intruder flying backwards against the wall and pinned him there.

“What do you want?” Anakin hissed at him from behind the chair, and it was then that you realized why he had pushed the guard back in the first place. He hadn’t wanted him to see the two of you.

“Rebels!” The man croaked out, and you glanced over to find Anakin’s hand clenched in a fist, choking the man the same way he had done you. As soon as Anakin saw where your gaze had gone, his fist immediately uncurled. “There are Rebels on the ship. They’re trying to take the bridge!”

You couldn’t even be grateful. You knew who it was. Kanan’s Force presence was getting stronger with every few seconds that passed, but all you could feel was pain, and not just your own either, now that you knew Anakin was alive, you could feel him. Not like earlier, when you had both been Jedi, the dark side shrouded him in too much blackness for that, but you could feel something . . . pain and confusion that echoed yours. “Stay here.” He instructed you, reaching for his mask.

You grasped at his arm, stopping him. “Ani,” you gasped out, the first time the nickname had been directed at him in years made him stiffen. “Please don’t. Please. I’m begging you not to hurt them. They’re trying to save me, that’s it.”

Anakin stared at you and for a moment his gaze softened, but as soon as you had seen it, it vanished again. “You have always been mine. I’m not going to let them take you away from me again.” Anakin leaned forward and you shivered as you felt those soft, familiar lips press against your forehead. “I’ve lost everything. Now that I know you’re alive, I won’t lose you too.”

He stood up, pulling away from you, and placing the mask back on his beautiful face. “You were always mine too, Ani . . . Can you still say that?” You whispered to him.

Anakin didn’t respond, merely stood there and stared down at you for a moment before leaving you, shutting the door behind him.

You collapsed onto the cold, unforgiving floor, you fist hitting it as you screamed and sobbed out your pain. Never had you realized how cruel fate could be. First it had tortured you with his death, and now it had done something even worse. To have him dangling in front of you to snatch him away again was pure torture. It seemed as if you had now lost him even more than you had all those years ago. You were so lost in your own grief you didn’t hear the door opening, didn’t hear the call of your name until you were hauled off the ground and upright. “It’s me! It’s me! We’ve got to get you out of here!” The familiar voice said, shaking you somewhat to grab your attention.

Finally, your vision cleared enough, and you saw the man crouched in front of you, concern in every line of his face. “Kanan . . .” You gasped out, flinging your arms around his neck. “Please, please get me out of here.” You pleaded, clinging to him as if he was your lifeline.

“Hey, it’s okay,” You heard him say, gripping you tightly in his arms. “We’ll get you out of here. The Ghost is waiting.” And without another word, the man lifted you up into his arms as if you weighed nothing. “Sabine! Clear a path!” He called out to the woman you hadn’t even noticed.

Relief filled your body for the briefest moment until you remembered something. If Kanan and Sabine were here . . . “Who’s on the Bridge, Kanan?! He’s going after them! They’ve got to get out of there!” You almost screamed in panic, flailing for a moment as you tried to get out of his arms.

“Nobody!” He tightened his grip on you. “It’s R4 and Chopper! They made a distraction, and then they went back to the ship. Everyone’s safe, we’ve just got to get you out of here.”

You collapsed against him in relief, burying your face in his shirt as you clung to him and closed your eyes. You didn’t want to see anything. You didn’t want to risk seeing him because you knew he must have felt you leaving. Your suspicions were confirmed as Kanan ran up the ramp to the Ghost and it began to close as soon as you were all clear.

He screamed your name, loud and broken through the Force, and it forced your eyes open, staring into those black lenses from across the ship once more until the ramp blocked your view and Hera shot the ship into hyperspace.

Kanan had heard it too. In fact, Ezra, who had joined the two of you, was covering his ears. “What the hell was that?” He asked, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him, all you did was hold on to Kanan, burying your face in his shoulder as more tears fell down your cheeks.

Never had you felt so broken, so tortured, so weak. You had been crushed by everything that had occurred, and you had no idea what to do about it. The only thing that managed to pull you out was a fragile voice. “Mom?”

You lifted your head from Kanan’s shoulder, shock filling your eyes. “What are you doing here?!” You made Kanan put you down, running over to the little boy and gripping his shoulders, checking him over for any injuries.

“He stowed away.” Kanan answered you. “He overheard that you were kidnapped and wanted to make sure you got home. We never let him out of the ship though, I promise.” He assured you.

“Who was that man? That was screaming at you? I felt weird when I saw him . . .”

Leaning forward, you pressed your forehead against your son’s for a moment, and then pulled back, looking into those familiar blue eyes that you had seen the dark version of moments earlier. “Don’t worry about it, Ani. Why don’t you go with Uncle Ezra for a bit. You two can practice lifting stuff, okay?”

Anakin nodded, concern still on his little face, but he allowed Ezra to lead him back up the ladder. You brushed your tears away as you watched them go, turning back to Kanan when you felt his warm hand on your shoulder. “I’ve never seen you like that before . . . What did Vader do to you?”

You placed your hand on top of his, giving it a squeeze. “I’ll tell you later, but first we’ve got to get back to base. I’ve got to talk to Ahsoka.”

#anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker x you #anakin skywalker imagine #star wars imagine #Anonymous

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that-house · 4 years ago

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Viego Rant (villainy and character design and tragedy and all that jazz)

Introduction The more I think about Viego, League of Legends’ newest character, the more enamored I am with him as a villain (unrelated to his general sexiness, though that does tie in with what makes him such a good villain).

I’ve seen a lot of complaints about his design. The Ruined King, one of the greatest threats in Runeterra, the progenitor of the Shadow Isles, the lord of the undead, is finally released as a playable champion and he looks like this:

People were expecting another Mordekaiser (who is similarly an undead king with a ghost army), a lich-tyrant clad in iron, decayed flesh peeling from an aged face. What we got was an angsty anime prettyboy, and it was infinitely better than the alternatives.

Lore Viego isn’t a conquering king. While his combat abilities are indeed badass, his personality is far from it. He’s a whiny brat and that’s incredible. He isn’t bent on world domination. His character arc revolves around just how human, how fallible he really is. For those unfamiliar with his lore, I’ll paraphrase it here:

Viego was the second son of a great king. Overshadowed by his brother and with no expectations upon him and near-limitless wealth, he wandered around being an idiot fuckboy for the vast majority of his formative years. Disaster struck when his brother died in an accident, and Viego took the throne with no training, no experience, and no desire to be king. He was a shitty king. The worst king. Just all-around apathetic. Gave zero shits. Can you blame him? It’s a lot of responsibility to be thrust upon someone who isn’t much more than a child, and with no preparation. He didn’t care about anything, that is, until he met Isolde. She was a poor seamstress, but he fell in love with her upon their first meeting. Together they ruled the country but it was really just them staring longingly into each others’ eyes. His allies were kinda fucking pissed about that, and one day an assassin came from Viego. The assassin fucked up and stabbed Isolde instead, and the poison on the blade made her fall gravely ill. As she lay in her bed, slowly dying, Viego went mad seeking a cure. He ravaged the land seeking any knowledge that might help, pouring all of his money into finding an antidote. He failed. As a last resort, he brought Isolde’s body to the Blessed Isles, a place rumored to be able to resurrect the dead. It worked, to an extent. Isolde’s wraith, confused, afraid, and angry at being ripped from the peace of death, unthinkingly stabbed Viego in the chest with his own magic sword, creating basically a magic nuke that turned the Blessed Isles into the domain of the undead. Viego resurrected as the king of the Shadow Isles some time later, having totally forgotten that Isolde killed him. He controls a big-ass ghost army, could probably beat up any living thing in a fight, and has evil ghost magic. Now this stupid simp wants his wife back and if he has to kill every living thing on Runeterra, well, anything for his queen. He’s even a tier 3 sub to her Twitch.

Music His musical theme isn’t some heavy metal anthem or intense cinematic piece (unlike the Pentakill song named after his sword, Blade of the Ruined King). It’s mostly sad and slow, almost sinister, with a piano and a music box. It has its loud moments featuring violins and choral bits like any villainous music, but the song is mostly subtle. It is a banger though.

youtube

In the comments section of this video, someone pointed out that the music reflects his story from beginning to end:

Everything about this champion is so well done. Riot Games really outdid themselves on this one. Bravo, encore please.

Motivation While the Mordekaiser circlejerkers on r/LeagueofLegends won’t shut the fuck up about how powerful Mordekaiser is, Viego is the better villain. Mordekaiser may be a bigger threat to all life on Runeterra, but Viego is a better character. (There’s a guy on my League discord server who won’t shut up about Mordekaiser so forgive me for being pissed at Morde stans).

Mordekaiser is motivated by a desire for control, to rule the world. Viego is motivated by obsession and misplaced love. There aren’t a lot of Mordekaisers on Earth. Supervillains are rare in real life. But Viego’s motivations are a lot closer to home. People in positions of power that they don’t deserve can do a lot of harm (for example: Trump).

He’s a grieving husband who was never prepared to deal with anything more difficult than choosing what wine to drink with dinner, who is trying to get his wife back because the world had always complied to his every whim. He’s a funky mix between a truly hopeless romantic and a spoiled brat throwing a temper tantrum.

Obsession is scary. It’s a real-world emotional state that’s been the cause of a lot of murders over mankind’s history. In contrast, Mordekaiser’s cartoonish Genghis Khan XXL schtick isn’t something that we encounter often. Of course a superpowered ultradictator would be worse for the world, but if you give ultimate power to a random person, you’re more likely to get someone like Tighten from Megamind. Or, more relevantly, Viego.

Design His design is sexy and stupid, just like him. He wears an open shirt into battle and wields his sword like an idiot (I’ve seen all the rants about how that’s not how that sword is meant to be used) because he was never really a warrior. Even at his most violent, right before the end of his mortal life, he didn’t do much combat himself, leaving his military endeavors to his underlings. Even now that he’s essentially a god, he still has a colossal wraith army that causes far more devastation than he ever could personally.

Despite his slim build (by League of Legends standards), he easily wields his colossal sword because of the strength of his state of undeath. Like his political power when he was alive, his posthumous magical and physical powers were never something he sought out, they were just given to him by circumstance.

The big cool-ass triangle hole in his chest where Isolde stabbed him is the source of the Black Mist, which is evil ghost mist that ebbs and flows from the Shadow Isles, bringing with it hordes of the undead. The sadder Viego is, the more Mist he creates. Poetically, his invasion of the world is inspired by his sorrow at his wife’s death and enabled by his wife’s reluctance to return to him. His story is perfectly reflected by his design.

Isolde Isolde’s spirit took up residence inside a young Senna (who’s another League champion, not particularly important here). This led to some Black Mist-related shenanigans and at least for the time being, Senna uses Isolde’s power to fight off the servants of Viego which threaten all life on Runeterra.

It seems pretty clear that whatever love Isolde felt for Viego is gone by now. Whether or not she ever loved him or was just unable to say no to the king is up for debate, but I’d like to believe there was something there. In my opinion, Viego’s story hits harder if they really were a great couple at first, torn apart by circumstance and obsession.

Much like the Maiden of the Woods in that one comic that circulates around here, to whom the knight gave his heart and she was like “yo what the fuck i literally never asked you to do this,” Viego went a little too far in trying to save her. They may have once been happy, but the Ruined King ruined his own life, too.

Unless Isolde is a lot less morally decent than we’ve been led to believe, I doubt she can forgive all the massacring that her husband’s been doing lately. In the recent cinematic, she was shown to be pretty anti-Viego. Maybe she’ll get a bastardization arc, but it certainly seems unlikely.

All of Season 2021 is based around Viego, Isolde, and the Shadow Isles, so we’ll just have to see what comes next. It’s possible that we’ll get Isolde as a playable champion, which should clear a lot of things up.

Final Thoughts Unlike so many villains, he’s not fueled by rage or hatred, but rather by sorrow. He’s stuck in his past, unable to move on. He regrets the actions of his life but is set on his course now. The sunk-cost fallacy comes into play here; he’s put so much time and effort and blood into bringing back Isolde, that turning away from it would feel to him like an insult, not only to her but to the innocent lives he’s taken in her name.

His tale is a tragedy, a love story gone horrifically wrong. Viego has suffered throughout his thousand-year life. Despite this, he’s undoubtedly the villain. His permanent death would be a net positive for the world. In has rage and grief he’s destroyed multiple civilizations, and will burn down the world to get Isolde back.

His heart may be in the wrong place, but it’s in a very human place. I don’t think he’ll get the ending he’s looking for, but I hope he finds some closure in the end.

#League of Legends #viego #i swear no one's gonna read this #even if you dont care about League i tried to make this interesting #even if you don't like League as a game the lore is pretty fucking solid

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dothwrites · 4 years ago

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2020 Writing in Review

Well, it’s been a shitshow of a year, ain’t it? The one bright spot in this year was that it left me a ton of time for writing! With no further ado, here are the fics I worked on the year of our lord, 2020.

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the blood which we drew | Rated: M | Word Count: 7335 | COMPLETE

Castiel bears the Mark. And for a few months, it's fine.

It's fine until it isn't.

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ramble on | Rated: E | Word Count: 26,875 | WIP

A series of Season 15 codas, crossposted to tumblr. Tags, Warnings, and Rating may change, based on source material.

(Technically started this in 2019, but I added to it this year, so I’m counting it)

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protect and serve | Rated: E | Word Count: 49,953 | COMPLETE

Police officer Dean Winchester's next assignment seems easy enough: a protection detail on Assistant District Attorney Castiel Novak, who's been receiving death threats in conjunction with the case that he's prosecuting. Dean's assignment is to keep ADA Novak safe, alive, and in one piece so that he can start his trial against Dick Roman, notorious CEO charged with the death of at least eight people.

With threats that quickly spin out of control, a missing teenage genius, Dean's attraction to Novak, and Novak's mercurial attitude towards Dean--Dean Winchester's next assignment is anything but easy.

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what stays (and what fades away) | Rated: E | Word Count: 64,421 | COMPLETE

Cas Novak’s life is perfect. He has a job that he loves and friends who support him. Most importantly, he has his husband, Dean Winchester, and his two adopted children, Claire and Jack. With them, nothing could ever go wrong.

That is, until he starts having flashes of a life that isn’t his and meets someone who shares his husband’s face but not his personality, someone who insists that he’s someone, something, different altogether. Cas’ life shatters when he’s dragged into a world that he doesn’t belong to and doesn’t understand.

Dean Winchester’s life was already shattered when he lost Castiel.

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thunder road | Rated: E | Word Count: 20,883 | COMPLETE

After Chuck is defeated and the Winchesters settle into life without God, Dean Winchester is bored.

OR: Dean and Cas take a road trip and figure out some stuff along the way.

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alone together | Rated: E | Word Count: 74, 239 | COMPLETE

Like the rest of the world, Dean Winchester’s job sent him home with the supplies necessary to work from home and a vague farewell of “We’ll see you when this all blows over”. Unlike the rest of the world, Dean Winchester is entering into a quarantine with Castiel Novak, his incredibly hot and incredibly uninterested roommate. How is Dean supposed to concentrate on his job while Cas is just a few feet away, being...well, Cas?

Castiel Novak was already working from home, so the news of social distancing doesn’t affect him that much. What does send him into a panic is the knowledge that Dean Winchester, his stunning and straight roommate, will also be working from home for the foreseeable future. After spending so long trying to distance himself from Dean, Castiel now has to face a future where Dean is present. All. The. Time.

They’ve got food, Internet, and all the toilet paper they need, but neither one of them is prepared for quarantine.

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for a sinner released | Rated: E | Word Count: 8,800 | COMPLETE

Testing his theory, he runs his fingers over the soft skin of Dean’s wrist, until his thumb is pressed firmly against Dean’s hammering pulse. Cas pulls, gently but inexorably, until Dean is forced to take a step forward. The shift in positioning pushes the barrel of the gun into his forehead.

Cold metal touches overheated skin, and Cas inhales sharply at the contrasting sensations. The gun is unforgiving, relentless, beautiful.

It’s like Dean.

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and all this devotion | Rated: M | Word Count: 10,572 | COMPLETE

Dean’s not stupid. He’s seen the looks Cas has aimed his way, when Cas thought he wasn’t paying attention. He’s leveled his share of looks back at Cas when the angel’s attention was elsewhere. More than once, he’s been caught in the act. At this point, they’re both dancing around the same elephant, too scared and caught in their ways to make the first move.

OR: Dean gets hurt on a hunt. Cas takes care of him. There's only one bed. Confessions ensue.

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lost in translation | Rated: T | Word Count: 3,720 | COMPLETE

Cas bites at his lower lip, looking uncommonly shy. Worry starts to stir in Dean’s gut, which is only compounded when Cas says something else in soft yet clear Enochian. As the new phrase doesn’t have the word stupid anywhere in it, Dean doesn’t have the slightest idea of what Cas is saying. The guilt squirming in his stomach gets worse when Cas looks at him, with gentle anticipation, as though he’s expecting a reply. Dean does what humans have been doing since the beginning of time when confronted with a language they don’t understand and smiles, wide and sunny, at Cas. Cas’ forehead creases but he returns the gesture. His eyes are still brimming over with emotion and the sight does something to Dean.

Dean begins to suspect that he may have started something which he is not equipped to finish.

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a new song about a new life | Rated: E | Word Count: 21,282 | WIP

There is no happily ever after. Mostly because there is no after. Life is just a series of days and nothing ever really ends. It just continues on, even after the curtain closes, and while the struggles might not be epic, they're no less impressive. Domestic life isn't without its pitfalls and trials, but at the end of the day, Dean and Cas still have each other and in the end, that's enough.

A series of timestamps detailing the small adventures of Dean and Castiel. Will contain teensy amounts of angst and a heap of fluff and domesticity.

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angel in black | Rated: E | Word Count: 95,325 | COMPLETE

Bounty hunter Castiel Novak has simple rules for how he conducts his business. Get in, get out, deliver the fugitive, and do it all with the least amount of effort possible. Never become emotionally involved.

When he takes on the job of hunting down Sam and Dean Winchester in order to bring them to justice, his rules start shifting. Threatened by supernatural forces as well as his attraction to Dean, Castiel soon has to decide what he’s willing to stand for…and what he’s willing to die for.

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ghosts that we knew | Rated: E | Word Count: 89,411 | COMPLETE

Dean can’t help it. Castiel’s laugh is infectious, washing over him and sweeping him up in its tide. His throat and stomach ache with the feel of it, unfamiliar muscles worked past their endurance. He hasn’t laughed like this in weeks, maybe years.

Cas doesn’t stop laughing, and Dean relishes it. It’s such a good sound, deep and throaty. It rumbles over him the same way that Baby’s engine purrs, to where he can almost feel it in his gut. Dean’s giddy, the kind of happy that hunters don’t get to feel, and if it weren’t for the ceiling, he thinks he might float away. Cas’ eyes crinkle when he laughs, and his smile goes wide and gummy. He’s so brilliant, so alive—

But you’re dead, Dean thinks helplessly. But you’re dead.

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Castiel Novak is one of the best hunters Dean Winchester has ever worked with. He's witty, whip-smart, and has enough knowledge about the supernatural to rival an encyclopedia. He's got humor dry enough to put the Sahara to shame and he's pretty easy on the eyes as well. All in all, he's the best partner Dean could have hoped for.

Too bad he's dead.

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the best of things | Rated: G | Word Count: 2,494 | COMPLETE

There’s something.

This is significant because, for as long as Castiel can remember, there’s been nothing. --- Castiel finds a way out of the Empty.

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freedom | Rated: G | Word Count: 4,804 | COMPLETE

Freedom.

Dean rolls the word around on the tip of his tongue and tastes how it feels. Freedom.

It’s a strange concept, especially since he always assumed that he was. Ever since Apocalypse Version 1.0 was averted, Michael and Lucifer locked in the cage, thanks very much, he’s always assumed that he was the one calling the shots. No matter how badly he fucked up (and he fucked up a lot), he could at least take comfort in the fact that those were his choices. No one’s hand up Dean Winchester’s ass, no siree.

And then Chuck came and ripped that certainty away from him in one quick motion and then...everything was suspect. Sam, Mom, Jack...Cas. Every word, every action, every emotion... He couldn’t trust anything, so he trusted nothing.

--- OR: Dean makes a choice.

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at the end of the world | Rated: G | Word Count: 4,631 | COMPLETE

Rebuilding Heaven is slow work, but time doesn’t really mean anything here. It’s delicate to rebuild the walls separating billions of souls so that nothing collapses. Castiel works alongside Jack, making suggestions as his mind trips along to potential problems.

Though it’s never said aloud, Castiel knows why Jack is working tirelessly. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, the knowledge sits that Sam and Dean are going to die. One day, they will pass from the earth, and come to Heaven, and on that day, Castiel wants everything to be perfect for them. He wants to show them a true paradise, a place without walls or barriers, a place where emotion is genuine and not just a manufactured memory. Rebuilding Heaven is his last chore, the last of his penance to be performed.

--- OR: Team Free Will gets the soft epilogue which they deserve.

---

let your heart be light | Rated: M | Word Count: 31,651 | WIP

It's Dean and Cas' first official Christmas together as a couple. What could possibly go wrong?

Just Cas' weird family, his own personal hang-ups about Christmas, Dean's persistent belief that the miracle of Christmas can heal all wounds, and meddling friends and family.

Have a Merry Christmas.

#dothwrites #long post #2020 masterlist #i did not realize how long this was #good lord me #i'm a long-winded little SOB

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whump-town · 4 years ago

Text

It’s A Wonderful Life

Part Two

I don’t know how I feel about this chapter but I’m putting it up and dealing with it later. I need to go study for my sociology test and get some coffee-- so, now it’s your problem

Warning: tw for suicide, major character death (IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK AT ALL)

Part One here

“Aaron!”

He’s flat on his back, a rickety old ceiling fan wobbling above him. The base sways back and forth as the blades turn. That has to be a hazard...

Two cold hands press to his cheeks, blonde strands of hair falling into his face. “Aaron,” his name comes out more urgently from her mouth. Those cold fingers tapping at his cheek, trying to rouse some sort of reaction out of him. He can’t. Can’t think of what to say. He just looks up at her. Haley. “Baby--”

He coughs, weakly craning his neck as the pain of his fall registers throughout the rest of his body. “Ah!” rolling onto his side, pulling his knees up, he groans at the sharp stabs of pain up his back. He clenches his jaw, a moment of sheer panic blinding him as he fails to recover from the feeling of having the wind knocked out of him. Unable to draw air into his shocked lungs.

Haley leans over him, moving to compensate for his pained struggle. Her fingers probe along the back of his head wincing in sympathy when she finds blood and he whimpers, weakly pulling from her touch. “What were you doing?” she asks, smoothing down the hair on the back of his neck. Trying to offer some comfort.

He can’t remember anything before the fan.

“Maybe--” she smiles down at him but he can see she’s just trying to look assured. His head is turned into her palm, Aaron having slowly curled into her. Trying to compress himself, needing to feel that she’s really here. “Maybe you should go to the hospital? You’re bleeding--”

He aims to shake his head but ends up grunting, blinded by the pain that mistake shoots up the base of his neck. “No,” he whispers, trembling hand coming up to blindly touch her. She catches his hand, folding his fingers within her own and pressing them down. Holding him still. “No,” he manages, a little more assured. “I’m--I’m okay.”

Blinking, a cold sweat breaking out across his face he shifts a numb arm underneath him. Biting down to keep himself from making a sound as he eases him up. Attempting to sit up quickly dispels what he thought was a fact for fiction. His eyes roll back, white cold pain eating up his skin.

“Aaron,” she calls frantically.

The color of his naturally pale cheeks drains and sways for a moment, the color drained from his body. “I’m-- I’m--” he squeezes his eyes shut, forcing his breathing to calm. He’s taken far worse hits than this. This is nothing. Fingernails digging sharp pain into his palms is grounding and slowly he opens his eyes and the living doesn’t spin. Everything is still, if not hazy.

“I’m okay,” he breathes.

I’m okay.

smoke burns his nose, his vision too poor to see past the steering wheel, past the spiderwebbed glass right in front of him

crying, strained screaming-- he can’t tell where the sound is coming from

his chest aches, stomach twisting with each pitched, nearly choked inhale of--

Jack.

Jack is screaming, little feet kicking hard and solidly as his chair

he has to get to--

“Aaron?”

He’s looking down at the carpet, confused but… It’s gone. The vision, his vision, is swimming dangerously and he weakly manages to place a hand on the carpet beneath him. Leaning onto it, as he tries to ground himself. “Sorry,” he rasps, swallowing down the fear that itches at the back of his throat. “Sorry, I just…” he went somewhere else. He’s not sure what happened but something feels incredibly wrong about this, about here.

Haley’s hand comes to rest between his shoulder blades, gently rubbing. “Let me make you some tea,” she offers.

Tea. No one can make tea like Haley. “Yeah,” he agrees. Just thinking about it calms him. “Please?”

She nods, pressing a kiss to his temple. As she steps around him she pulls a blanket off the couch, settling it over his shoulders. “Stay here,” she asks, brushing the back of her hand across his cheek. “I don’t want you to fall again.” He can feel her hesitancy, she doesn’t want to leave him by himself.

He doesn’t get up, he’s not even sure his legs will hold him, but he does manage to scoot himself across the carpet until he can lean against the couch behind him. The cushions are old, they give easily against him but he loves this old couch. Haley’s parents had given it to them when they moved away. It had been his bed many a night in their tiny hometown. This old couch has cured many of his ailments.

It sat in the spare room of Haley’s childhood home. An off to the side, usually shut room full of old but loved things from Haley and Jessica’s childhood. Including the beat-to-hell sofa her parents didn’t have the heart to throw out-- plus they’re southern and the couch wasn’t falling apart so it still had a use.

Every night he crawled home to them, he’d find himself lovingly tucked in on it.

He finds himself nodding off, head leaning into the sunken cushions. The whistle of the kettle startling him slightly. It makes his pulse jump, vision swimming. “Haley?”

sirens

a hand, padded by thick gloves wrap around the base of his neck

“easy, just hold still. you’re okay”

he glances as far as he can to his left, out the door to asphalt

he can see Jack, his happy little hands, rocking back and forth on his feet

“J…” his tongue heavy, body sinking

“stay with me”

“Aaron?” Haley’s squatting down over him, her cold hands cupping his head. “Baby, you’re scaring me.”

He’s scaring himself.

She slides down next to him, throwing her legs over his so she can sit close. “Are you sure we shouldn’t go to the hospital?” Pulling the edges of the blanket back around him, she frowns when he leans against her. Tiredly just deflating until he’s limply laying with his head under her chin.

“I’m okay,” he whispers. His head is really starting to hurt. “I just… I think I need to lay down.”

Haley looks unconvinced but caves, nodding her. “Please let me help you?”

He’s not sure he can do it otherwise.

His feet drag on the carpet, nearly unable to lift them to move properly. There’s this chill he can’t fight, leaving him shaking as Haley holds them welded together. The bed, impossibly soft, as he sinks down is cold with their absence. He goes limply down, not fighting Haley as she tucks the thick comforter around him.

She crawls in after him.

He finally relaxes. The comfort of familiarity soothing his nerves. Haley’s arm over his chest, head on his shoulder is just as things should be. Closing his eyes, he lets sleep consume him. He needs it so badly. He can’t get warm, squirming, and trying to curl into himself to get some sort of warmth. No matter how hard he tries, he just can’t rest.

He turns over searching the nightstand for a clock but there are none. He frowns, sitting up. Tossing the blanket off his legs he gets up. Unable to see the time, he needs to go figure it out. He has to make oatmeal, get the day going. His every day revolves around a strictly held schedule. A maybe concussion doesn’t warrant straying from that.

“What are you doing?”

“I was looking for--” Jack. Aaron realizes where he is. He feels sick. There is no Jack. Not yet. This fantasy of his has no Jack. He swallows thickly and turns back around, shaking his head. He goes back to the bed. “Most have been dreaming,” he whispers, fighting to keep his emotions from getting the best of him.

He can’t remember having Jack. This boy, a whole child that he can visualize, is nothing more than a concept. They have no children.

He can’t sleep after that.

-----

“Let’s got out.”

He wakes, startles, alone in bed. Painful goosebumps have raised over his skin, shivering he squints up at her. She’s in the same clothes as yesterday, a fast that strikes him as odd. He can’t remember her changing her clothes yesterday either before they’d gone to bed. Yet, her hair is clean and swept back into a low ponytail. She looks happy.

“Out?” he asks. Sitting up, he self-consciously runs his hand through his hair. Taming what he knows is a rat’s nest. “Out-- Out where?” He tries so hard to rub the sleep from his eyes, aware of the fact that he’s gotten just enough sleep to wear him down more. Pulling himself out from under the sheets he glares down at his own body, he’s dressed too. They’d gone to bed in their clothes…

She sits down on the edge with him, taking his left hand. “For coffee,” she says with a smile. “You know that little bookshop just downtown? They put in a coffee bar! It’ll be fun. Come on, we can get a coffee and search the shelves. I know you finished the last one you got.” She smiles assuredly, rubbing at his arm but she’s so cold that she does nothing to abate his shivering.

“Coffee,” he repeats. “Yeah,” he mumbles. “Yeah, coffee sounds good.”

His stomach aches as they go. Twisted and acidic, he feels like he’s going to be sick but it’s not nausea. Disenfranchisement. Like he’s somewhere he shouldn’t be.

“The normal?” Haley asks as they step into the shop. He nods, regardless of not being able to conjure up what his “normal” is. She lets go of his hand and he drifts, ghosting across the old, dust-caked carpet. He doesn’t know where he’s going, he’s just guided by the undertoned scent of the old books.

The crime section-- novels covered in deeps seas of black highlighted to catch the eye with the harrowing shifts to crimson-- is where he finds himself. Deja vu. Ted Bundy. Ed Gein. He knows these men far more intimately than he feels the novels he briefly skims through do. He slides one of the books back, grimacing at the tone. The baroque, vulgarity of it unsettling him. Some people just don’t have any business dealing with sensitive things like this.

He hovers over a copy of a book--

FBI Novelist David Rossi

The words are crimson, meant to catch your eyes.

He looks over his shoulder, stomach twisting like he’s afraid to be caught doing something he’d convinced maybe he shouldn’t be doing. He opens the first page, swallowing thickly at the dedication. To the footnote for the author Agent Rossi and his untimely demise--

Haley appears to his left, smiling when she sees him. “Whatcha got?”

He takes the coffee she offers out to him-- he glares at the cup but doesn’t comment. He can’t feel the warmth that should be pouring out of it. “Uhm…” he shows her the back. To the picture of the agent, unsure of how to ask what’s on his mind. Hotch turns the book over in his hand, an immense pressure building in his chest. Anxiety making him jittery. “I-- I thought… I thought he was--” he looks to Haley, mouth parted as he fails to draw these connections that he knows, intuitively, that he should have the knowledge to understand.

Haley turns the book, manipulating his hold to face the book to her so she can really see what it is that he’d got. “Oh God,” she whispers, sadly. “Don’t you remember that bombing?” She shakes her head, “it killed all those agents. You were furious, I’m surprised you don’t remember.”

But, suddenly, he does. It’s such a graphic memory that it feels more like… it feels fake with its intensity. He knows, though. His face hot, knees anxiously drumming as he sat precariously on the edge of the couch. Watching on hesitant, nervous breathes as the news spread steady, if not a bit misleading information on a bombing. He’d seen them. Sat there all day watching them add people’s names to a growing list of the dead.

“It’s written by that David Rossi guy,” Haley says. “You’d probably like it.”

He nods, dejectedly opening the cover. The book is dedicated to Rossi, a small note thanking him for his service to the country and his insights with the FBI. He thumbs through it a little more, nearly morbidly curious for what he might find. Scanning the words, waiting for something to strike him.

He nearly drops it, unable to breathe as he takes in something he can’t imagine.

In the months after the bombing, I reached out to the remaining members of the elite Behavior Analysis Unit (Behavioral Science when I founded it some nearly thirty years earlier with my now deceased ex-partner Jason Gideon). Derek Morgan, now the only profiler left of Jason’s team, was hesitant to continue any prolonged contact with me. I suspected his reliance having to do with the perseverance of Jason’s memory. After Agent Spencer Reid’s suicide, only a matter of weeks after the bombing, any contact I had with Agent Morgan ended. The Bureau has no comment on what lead the young genius to suicide.

“Oh,” Haley whispers sadly. “That’s so sad.”

He can’t breathe.

“Do you think he had PTSD?”

He roughly pushes the book back where he found it. His left hand coming to rub at his head.

“Aaron?”

That’s not how that ends. That’s not how any of that happened.

The day that Jason Gideon made that call in Boston Aaron been standing right beside him. Reid had been sent back to a local precinct with busywork to calm down. He was a new recruit and, rightfully, had no business even being in the field with them let alone in a situation like that. It had been him, his decision to pull Reid.

He remembers the feeling of the heat hitting his body.

The shrapnel wounds impeding his ability to stand so he’d dragged himself ten feet to safety where he’d passed out. Having no memory of what happened a week later and years after the fact he still can’t actually tell you what happened other than to repeat back what he’s been told.

“Let’s go home,” Haley slips her hand into his.

He nods, eyes unfocused as he follows blankly where she guides him. Chest tight, hands trembling weakly he realizes this must be some fucked joke. Revenge? A test? He’s done. He doesn’t want to play this game anymore. It’s tantalizing and demeaning and so overwhelming. Is this within his control and if it is can he stop?

He wants to stay here with Haley.

“What--What about--” he’s worked himself into such a state that he’s shaking. Unable to speak properly as finds himself desperately asking, “what about kids?”

Haley winces, shaking her head. “No,” she says. “I don’t think I can do it. I don’t want any.”

No Jack.

“I think,” his voice is rasped whisper. “I think I need to lie down.”

Haley’s face falls, “ok. I’ll come with you.”

She holds his hand, whispering soft questions but he’s… gone. Hardly there at all, unable to even focus on the worried tone of her words. Asking if his head hurts or if he’d like some tea or something to eat. He just needs to lay down and eventually, she gives up and lets him.

Somberly, she lays down beside him. The bed sinks with her weight but she already feels too far away.

He can feel the weight of his chest deepening, each inhales a little shorter. “Haley,” he calls, hand searching blindly across their bedsheet for her. He finds her, skin chilled, but there. “I’m sorry.” Though she curls around him, wrapping an arm up around his back and pressing their hips close-- her contact does not abate his shivering. She can not comfort him.

“You have nothing to apologize for, darling.”

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner #haley hotchner #tw suicide

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freddiekluger · 4 years ago

Note

Do you think that if the ghosts sees period dramas set in their time, it will reignite memories of their life?

i think it definitely depends on the accuracy and style of the drama- if they're too poorly researched, any attempts at reverie would be totally disrupted by the historical and visual inaccuracies (think: thomas yelling about the 'roccoco legs' during the byron shoot). of course the other big thing is setting: it's all well and good to watch to a movie set in your time period, but if it's based in a country you've never been to (especially for the older/less privileged ghosts like mary and robin, who probably didn't have much knowledge of the world outside of their continent when they were alive), it's not going to feel particularly familiar.

working on the assumption that we have at least partial historical and geographical accuracy, here's how i think each of the ghosts would respond to

robin: considering how little we actually know about early human history, i don't think robin would be that fussed by any attempt to put that on film- he'd still appreciate a good caveman joke, although he's not a big fan of how stupid every movie assumes they would have been (it's not like they had omega-3 tablets back then!). robin's unspeakably old, and for the most part he seems to have processed through all the parts of his past that he possibly can, and is now committed to enjoying his time at button house as much as he can (a big part of this is his prankster spirit and frankly underrated friendliness), so it would have to take a lot more than a stone age movie to rake up serious conflict.

mary: given her incredibly traumatic death, mary avoids virtually anything that hints of fire or witchcraft which is where things become difficult. i think mary could really enjoy a film set in her time if it follows a working family not dissimilar to her own- it could help her remember some of the positive things from her life, and probably help her feel a lot more seen as she often ends up misunderstood or ignored by the other ghosts (pat initially dismissing mary's advice about the camera work because he didn't think she properly understood what was happening; the ghosts focusing on correcting her speech more than what she actually says). the problem is, almost all movies set in mary's time that follow people from her class end up focusing on the witch trials, which is a BIG no no for her.

humphrey: i think humphrey could really enjoy watching some tudor set films. like mary, he often gets ignored (and straight up left behind), so watching a period film absolutely gives him the opportunity to feel a bit more seen and stew on those long forgotten memories like post-meal games of cards with friends, or the occasional hunting trip when the king came to visit (the trips themselves were more stressful than anything, but mouthing off about them with the king's entourage after he went to bed was always a highlight). humphrey would definitely have a keen eye for inaccuracies, but i don't think they'd bother him. it's just nice to have things be about him for a change (if by him, we mean having all the ghosts watching something that is vaguely related to his alive-period and actually looking to him with questions instead of just using his head as their personal football/security camera/magic 8ball).

kitty: kitty is one of the ghosts who accesses her memories pretty easily- she has no problem with thinking about her life, even when the anecdotes are screamingly sad to anyone listening. so a period film would naturally bring some memories, but i don't know if they'd be anything radical or new- kitty's real growth and drama would come from her leaving behind the rationalisations of what clearly was severe neglect. actually on that note, while not quite kitty's environment, i think she might get a lot out of Sofia Coppola's Marie Antoinette. something about the themes of the loneliness that comes with growing up in high society and only being valued for what your status and your biology can give to your family and your husband (who you likely didn't choose), along with feeling like an outsider and being visibly othered, even by those you outrank, no matter how friendly and approachable and like them you make yourself (while not necessarily linked to the broader themes of familial neglect kitty's character touches on, i think her experiences as a georgian noblewoman of colour would have to have impacted her growing up and also socially- i'd love to hear any thoughts on this from fans of colour, as i'm white and so any theories i could come up with would likely be a poor approximation). and she'd definitely like the pretty dresses and stunning rooms of versailles, and for that i can't blame her.

thomas: most of thomas we sort of got to see in Free Pass- the detail nitpicking, the excitement until a specific trigger from his life (in this case, lord byron, the man thomas considers his greatest enemy, although i’d be curious to know whether byron acually had any idea of thomas thorne’s existence) causes him to go into a full thomas hissy-fit. sure, the emotion is real to him, but he absolutely plays it up, even trying to get humphrey’s body to fetch alison so she can see how ‘upset’ he is (thomas reminds me of a child in this respect). there’d probably be less of the tantruming for a movie that had already been made, although i’m not so sure about the memory point. The Thomas Thorne Affair sort of brought out thomas’s big Unresolved Life Mystery, and now i think all that’s left for him to work through has got to be a lot more internal. sure, he’d be reminded of a few good old parties, and maybe any romance scenes might trigger some of the sad isabelle/general lost love emotions, but i don’t think they’d be anything particularly spectacular.

fanny: now fanny would be a real stickler for accuracy. she would be calling out every makeup, decorative, hair, wardrobe, architectural, and lingual failure with the classic lady button judgement in her voice. this is probably half because she can't help herself, but half a measure to distract herself from actually having to pay proper attention and relive her life. i think fanny struggles a lot with no longer running her own household (along with the shifting morals, and fashions, of the modern world), and so to be reminded of everything she can no longer have would be tough. i'm not saying she would long for a time when women didn't have a lot of rights, but she went from a wealthy society woman who held a lot of power in her own sphere to a ghost, unable to touch anything or even be seen by the living (save for the photo glitch), and stuck spending her days with a motley crew of equally frustrating ghosts whom she doesn't always feel respected by (noting that 'respect' to fanny is much the same as deference). she could have it a lot worse, but i think fanny would much prefer to not have to think about her old life.

the captain: the captain is an interesting one. he's one of the few ghosts who actively seeks out media related to his time, although that's within the impersonal war documentary which focuses on facts and mechanics as opposed to day to day realities and feelings. on the one hand, any war film for the captain would be sure to rake up memories of wartime (even if he never made the front- that remains unconfirmed), and the immense grief that comes with watching the people around you slowly stop returning home. the captain is a war fanatic, and has no problem talking about the great battles, victories, and tactics, so i think the heightened emotional states that a film presents would be the key to unlocking the captain's inevitable wartime trauma and going beyond the surface level facts. for that reason, i'd really like the captain to see Peter Weir's Gallipoli. i know it's the wrong war and the wrong country (although the australian's were technically part of the British forces), but i think the overarching themes of the idolisation of the military, the deconstruction of the glory of war, and the intense (bordering on the homoerotic) although never quite realised relationship between Archy and Frank (which, spoiler alert, ends in tragedy), could give the captain a lot in terms of food for thought and unlocking some of those deeper experiences. on the other hand, the captain watching a period film set in the years before his war could be equally interesting- i think they'd play on some his is insecurities and general issues surrounding the difficulty he may have had fitting in with day-to-day life (not just due to his homosexuel répression, but due to his broader issues with fitting in socially which we see through his interactions with both the ghosts and his own forces- some particularly valid fans have used these to headcanon cap as autistic). in short, films would unlock a fair few memories for cap, but even more EMOTIONS.

pat: with pat and julian it gets interesting because while yes, technically any movie set in a non-current time period is a ‘period piece’, you also have to deal with the fact that they’re going to have less impact on their respective ghosts because you also have actual movies from those periods floating around. for this reason, my answers for pat and julian are relatively similar: they wouldnt have any more memories appear than for any film coming from while they were alive. for pat, this means he’d get pretty excited about ones that came from his childhood (pat would be a giant sci fi fan don’t @ me he loves technology), but i think anything that came with too strong a family attachmet, or that he watched in the weeks/months/year leading up to his death might bring out the angry pat we saw in Happy Death Day and Perfect Day. anger is how his inherent death trauma (and the additional loss that comes from the world moving on without you) manifests, so i definitely think that would come out here, even if he isn’t quite able to put his finger on why specific movies make him so angry/irritated. for pat, childhood memories would abound, but the closer we get to his death, there’s less memories but definitely more unresolved emotion.

julian: see my point above about the whole period-film-vs-regular-film thing. julian doesn’t really strike me as a movie person, and i definitely think he wouldn’t give much care to the influx of 80s/90s set british political media (think The Iron Lady etc). in his words, “i don’t really care for politics, and they’re all too busy trying to push their labor propaganda”. he just makes a captain-inspired noise when alison reminds him that he WAS a politician. julian is another character who accesses his memories pretty easily (although they’re usually either horny or at least slightly morally bankrupt), and i honestly find it hard to give a tory emotions so i’m very excited to see how the christmas special manages. julian is a self-centred bloke though, so i think only things that are directly about him could have the power to rake up buried memories and feelings. now i really want to see julian watching a documentary on himself and just getting outraged.

thanks for this one, sorry for the delay!!

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retphienix · 4 years ago

Text

youtube

Alright, this is gonna be tough because I desperately want to say so much for the game's sake and my own, but it's just so much.

At least the playthrough as a whole exists to show a lot of those things, and there's no shame in some of the impacts the game had for myself going unsaid :)

LONG POST INCOMING, NO 'READ MORE' BECAUSE IT'S RELEVANT TO THE POST AND NOT AN AFTER-THOUGHT

CLICK 'J' ON YOUR KEYBOARD TO SKIP. (Sorry mobile users)

8:48 - Do you have any idea how good a step forward it felt to smash the repressing bulb?

9:50 - So I'll get ahead of myself because this fight shows a lot of the visuals that play into this: Something being the manifestation of guilt for Mari is so incredibly visualized.

Between the base 'Something' being extremely close to the shadow she cast and including the one visible eye that bore down on Sunny and Basil after the hanging, to the stairs incorporating into the design.

The seaweed and spider are more general anxieties though they do circle back to Mari since she saved Sunny, but those two forms don't feel as directly related as the stairs (heights) and base 'Something' forms and what they represent for his repressed guilt.

Could be wrong ;) Tell me what you saw in the forms of 'Something' if you'd like to expand on them :)

12:39 - Just to prove the point before you get to fully see the truth- Something morphs into the figure of Mari hanging. It doesn't fully demonstrate the "eye" aspect yet, but still I just wanted to say kudos on the way 'Something' is shown visually. Formless for a reason, and that form becomes more defined as you understand what it is, exceptional damn thing.

15:43 - Basil's part in all of this makes me so damn sad. Plenty to say later (obviously), but he harbors so much guilt, wants forgiveness so much, and is so (not shown yet) desperate to believe in Sunny's innocence while knowing but not comprehending the truth. The fact he harbors his own 'Something' due to the guilt of all this is heartbreaking, these kids endured a hell no one should. Losing someone so important to you and harboring the guilt and fault of it when nothing of the sort was intended. A childish fight with raised emotions got out of hand and all this came of it.

Hell.

16:30 - I absolutely adore how the photo album is used for this reveal.

Absolutely incredible execution that's specific to this story and its characters and makes piecing (literally) this together tense and grim.

22:27 - I NEVER SPOKE TO OR INTERACTED WITH THE THING IN THE CENTER OF THIS ROOM AND I'M A NORMAL AMOUNT OF UPSET ABOUT THAT >:( lol

29:41 - Okay.

So this reveal as a whole is so unbelievably well paced and incredibly hard hitting.

All game long there's a weight of having lost Mari. Repeatedly it's told that she killed herself and no one can understand why and everyone (MYSELF THE PLAYER INCLUDED) is looking for meaning in little moments, seeking out hints that maybe she was suffering or depressed or this or that.

And while that has gone on FOR THE ENTIRE GAME there has also been this uneasy weight surrounding Sunny/Omori. Visions of Mari twisted and deformed into phantoms of horror.

For the most part I assumed it was just him coping with having lost his sister and maybe a dialogue on how when she was alive he was in her shadow (in his mind) and now that she's gone he remains there?

That was the best I could figure, more or less. But it continued to seem more and more malicious in design and MUCH more 'heavy' in how it's presented as a shadow behind Omori/Sunny throughout his adventure and life.

The weight and 'overshadowed' looks of the scenes felt more and more foreboding and less like a simpler "I'm living in her shadow" story, but I couldn't figure out what it was.

Then these pictures come out and piece things together.

The final result:

Sunny and Mari fighting. (Context appears to be his growing disdain towards playing. It's stated he loved playing, but it's also shown that he begins to dislike how much Mari is dragged away for classes and the like up to and including playing. So my read was that Sunny was upset that their fleeting time together was dedicated to the recital and broke his violin in an emotional blur and the fight occurred.

Alternatively it was accidentally broken and both of their emotions were running high as it happened)

Mari falling to her death.

Sunny and Basil carrying her upstairs and tending to her.

Sunny breaking down as it sinks in.

The visions having Basil say "It's going to be okay" by the bedside. (I perceive that as a memory of what Basil was saying as he tried to manage his emotions during the event)

Sunny and Basil carrying her back downstairs and to the backyard.

The makeshift noose.

And finally the sight that burned itself into Sunny's eyes of her hanging after it was all said and done.

Just holy shit to it all in how it's revealed and handled.

Stories have twists all the time, and I ain't gonna make some bold claim like "Most unpredictable!" "Best twist!" "What a twist!" or whatever, though that'd be funny.

I just want to say this twist worked BEFORE the reveal as a foreboding sense of unease and curiosity- it lent itself to intentionally vague and easily misconstrued explanations, basically- instead of it outright misleading you beyond the characters that believe the lie repeating the lie, it allowed you to mislead yourself.

It did the twist the right way! And well! YOU trick YOURSELF! The people repeating the lie are being lied to or have motivation to repeat the lie! The GAME isn't lying (as so many twists handle it) the game is giving the world reason to mislead and allowing you to be mislead!

Now am I yelling affirmations for the way things SHOULD ALWAYS BE! YES! BUT THAT'S BECAUSE IT'S NOT AS NORMAL AS IT SHOULD BE! lol

31:40 - All the "You will really miss them"s hurt :(

33:25 - Right out the gate, a spoiler for what isn't here:

I looked up the alternate endings of the neutral route and my heart hurts to know Sunny doesn't stick around and Basil dies :(

34:00 - BASIL BEING OVERWHELMED WITH DENIAL AND GUILT AS HE ATTEMPTS TO MENTALLY PROTECT HIS VIEW OF WHO HIS FRIEND IS BY INVENTING A SECOND PARTY THAT DID THIS IS SO FUCKING REAL AND AMAZINGLY DONE.

And it explains the name behind the 'Something'.

'Something' behind you did it. There's 'Something' behind you, isn't there.

'Something' all around us, that potentially being the truth comin' in.

When 'Something' ruined my photos, Basil repressing protecting Sunny by destroying the proof.

Just expertly done.

'Something' being repression of the memory and impending guilt. Dannnng.

36:26 - It's 24 hours after I beat the game as I type all this so here's a gag.

Here's the part where Basil beats some sense into his friend, because after this Sunny gets knocked out and wakes up 200% improved and ready to save Basil from his own guilt by releasing them both from the secret.

So basically Kel dragged us out of bed, then a couple days later Basil beats us up, and that's how Sunny gets better :^) Game Over.

38:46 - This fight made me feel utterly terrible, a highlight being the energy bar saying "Everything is going to be okay".

or at 40:17 - when Basil pokes out Sunny's eye and the screen does this? That's an underutilized but always awesome visual.

41:12 - I THOUGHT I WAS DEAD AT THIS POINT :)

Because just before entering Basil's home on this night you see his Grandma's ghost here. So seeing Sunny here told me "WELL. YOU FUCKED UP!"

42:25 - Like I said, beat some sense into Sunny.

Here's the mental side of things where Basil's beatin' told Sunny to go remember the good times and confront his inner self and I'm being partially facetious because there's plenty to say about what's coming up.

43:15 - Goosebumps every time due to the sincerity and hope of this.

43:40 - Hug for anyone needing that.

51:11 - I could cry again and I just might before this post is done being put together.

This accident was never meant to be.

55:09 - Timestamp is arbitrary, I won't go over every flashback but I do want to say what a beautiful way to use these photos. To relive the memories? To find the strength to overcome and all that? After all these years of suppressing memories? DANNNG I love this game.

1:04:09 - I stepped in poop.

1:04:15 - Barefooted.

1:04:22 - I embraced my failure.

1:12:00 - The violin.

1:13:00 - "The anxious feeling-" "They believed in you" "No matter what you didn't want to disappoint them" I'm filled with love and gonna cry about it.

1:14:00 - So an important theme in the game, as if it has just one, is Sunny suppressing emotions and demonizing himself.

Obviously the ending shows him breaking free from both but I think it's important as hell to look at how he builds up to being able to.

After all the dark moments show him as a bloodied monster, demonstrate a perceived lack of remorse for what he's done (as in he sees himself so poorly that he says "I must not have felt bad about it, I'm a monster", not that he actually doesn't feel bad about it, that he thinks he shouldn't because he's bad), have him stab dream Basil to protect his repression of the memory, the build up to breaking free from that is him remembering the good in him through the lens of his friends.

Both in the real world and in revisiting the memories within the photos.

He hears about the good in himself that he has pretended isn't there and finds the power to overcome this deadened shell he's made.

He learns how to forgive himself by finally remembering he's worthy of forgiveness and is more than his mistake, that even the person he grievously harmed would want him to forgive himself and would understand the mistake didn't define him.

1:15:15 - Just because you did something bad doesn't make you bad, to put it more eloquently than my rambles. He had to learn that.

1:19:20 - I've done this fight 4 times.

You may be wondering why 4 times, it ain't like I replayed the game a ton or anything.

The short of it is:

1) For the good ending :)

2) To see what happens if you go "up" in the hospital- it's a dead end- I assumed it'd be a bad ending. So I got the good ending again :)

3) For the bad ending.

4) FOR THE GOOD ENDING TO WIPE THE HORRIBLE FEELING IN THE PIT OF MY STOMACH AWAY FROM THE BAD ENDING :)

In doing so I did get one layer deeper on the BG of Omori in the fight, here it is:

And I learned on the fourth run that the fight is simpler than I gave it credit lol, Cherish refills your juice, so there is no reason to use Encore. You can get to the end (and deeper more easily) by just using the triple attack and Cherish and Calm down when necessary.

1:29:00 - A summary of the fight is that it's extremely impactful emotionally, but very obviously isn't a "Fun fight". It's great mechanically and story wise for what it's trying to do :)

I'll just say it here: I'm surprised there wasn't an end-game "Omori" fight, you know, in dream world? Because combat is SO good in this. I am lead to believe that the Omori route where you never go outside in the real world has more bosses and zones and would fill what I just implied I wanted- but you're also railroaded into the Neutral endings which are both sad :(

And honestly? That makes sense and I applaud the decision :) Embracing the fantasy world for more 'fights' isn't exactly the path to recovery. Also and I know someone will be bothered I say this because *I'm* bothered I'm saying this- it makes sense since a big predecessor did the same thing lol.

Undertale Genocide has new bosses and a harder end game challenge (Sans) while being the worse ending, while the good ending has a flashy and story/emotionally impactful final fight that isn't as challenging because challenge isn't the point of the morals being explored.

I just bring it up because it's interesting, has a parallel, and after fighting Omori 4 times I really REALLY wanted to do an end-game fight in Dream World.

1:30:00 - forgive me as I cry again. goosebumps and more.

OH NO~!

DRAT!

So I use a cheap video editor and I use the free format of it which limits to 720p and I didn't think twice of it.

I recorded at max, but downgraded after editing.

At 720p you can't see the detail that made me break down crying!

At 1:31:55 Sunny's eyes go wider as he sees Mari as they finally get to experience the duet in this dream state (White Egret Orchid, this is real and happening, I'm taking this to my grave :'( ) he sees her smile and that smile made me break down, but in the 720 it's blurry :(

That's on me, I could have posted the scene raw in HQ but I didn't know it'd compress just enough to be invisible :(

still. that duet scene can make me cry on command. just because of that alone, but also the entire thing.

1:33:42 - Sunny breaks from his shell and feels his emotions again.

1:37:07 - I wish every game would end with a mirror to see yourself.

The 'Despite everything, it's still you' vibe just cements all the growth and experiences that have happened as so much more real when that happens. Bonus points because mirrors in Omori are a time bomb where you can be reminded of the guilt following you- and this one is safe. This one is pure and clean. You did it.

1:37:50 - As I said earlier, going up does nothing. Dead end.

1:39:00 - I have to tell you something.

Simple ending. And yet slams me like two trucks. I'm so proud.

1:41:00 - Post credits scene.

This is so heartwarming and their smiles are the purest thing in the entire world.

1:42:50 - BAD ENDING RECORDING.

All I'll say on that is the bad ending made me feel terrible inside. Give up, live in your bubble, and subconsciously end it all so you never have to confront reality again.

My gut felt heavy to be honest.

And the fact that THAT is when Bo En Time is played is INCREDIBLE.

Having the sky shift like that gave goosebumps and cemented my dread.

Just seeing it now has me feeling very poorly.

Okay. Video done.

Now for general thoughts.

First off this White Space cycle has been going on for YEARS with Sunny only getting worse as he suppresses things more and more and the reason he found the strength to overcome is because of his friends and I'm gonna yell about it.

THE REASON SUNNY IS BREAKING FREE CAN BE DIRECTLY POINTED AT KEL THINKING "FUCK IT, I'M ABOUT TO LOSE A FRIEND, AND I DON'T WANT TO"

And I just think that is sweet as hell. The strength was inside himself, but the problem itself caused Sunny to demonize and not trust himself- he needed someone to break him free and help convince him that he's not irredeemable. And boom.

The way this game handles Denial and even gives it physical form with the 'Something's that both Sunny and Basil harbor is just awesome.

I touched on it but combat in Omori is very, very good.

I've said it here and there as I played and I feel like going at length in the finale post is pointless because this isn't a review but to put it concisely.

Types changing mid-combat, the character archetypes being so well defined, the follow up system, combat in Omori is some top notch turn based RPG stuff.

Like up there with the greats, the timeless masterpieces. This is GOOD fighting. So it was surprising the good ending didn't emphasize it- I explained why that makes sense, but even still! It'd probably be lesser for it (as explained previously) but it's interesting they practiced that restraint for the message they wanted to send.

Repeatin' that Mari's smile in the recital made me cry. Burned in my brain.

I'm still surprised I got the post credits scene because I DID water the plants a lot but when the game showed me them all dead I assumed that was the fail condition.

I genuinely do want to try the Omori route some time down the road. I hope I get around to it.

I am slightly dissuaded just because the Omori route only gets the neutral endings which are not Good To Be Blunt :(

But I want to see what dream content there is and I hear there are other bosses!

Other small bits from my notes:

Replacing denial (the black bulb) with hope (the white bulb) was good as heck.

The imagery of the 'Something' is so top notch- using the shadow of her body combined with the piercing gaze of her single eye- MY GOD.

The fragility of life being so present- between memories of near death experiences, to the way in which Mari dies, to the ease at which either Basil or Sunny can end the game. It's tense and heart-wrenching.

The way the 'Something' behind Sunny almost always shadows over him like an ever present weight.

Tearful, hopeful, pure, kids enduring a guilt metric tons heavier than their bodies could ever handle and finally, finally moving beyond it.

I said more in a personal post, and I'll reblog that.

Honestly, just timestamping through the video took it out of me and got the point across.

Omori is a wonderful game.

It's definitely a favorite for me, high up there on my list.

Between the themes, the gameplay, the humor, the ending.

This is a good one.

And now I get to end having experienced all the care and love in this title, that's such a sweet thing.

Now I know this finale post is a mess, illegible even. I have gotten sloppier as I've begun embracing just 'experiencing and rambling' and perhaps my formatting with change yet again until I find something more easily shared.

Despite that. I want to thank any who popped in on this playthrough.

This was a good one, a highlight of the blog for sure- and I'm always happy when I see some people enjoying the absolute mess I toss online when I do one of these :P

So thank you for your time, and thank you to any ridiculous enough to read my nonsense here.

Have a good one :)

And just as expected I feel I've said nothing and barely touched the surface as the post-game-head of mine does a poor job lol. Even still :P

#RetPlays #Omori #Spoilers

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antihero-writings · 4 years ago

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Before It Kills You Too

(Cover art by _xstlyricax_ on Instagram!! I’ll put a link to her profile in a reblog!!)

Fandom: Lore Olympus (Webcomic)

Fic Summary:

Hera goes for a drive after a fight with Zeus, and has some time to think. Her internal monologue and memories, using Blackpink's "Kill This Love" as a prompt. ||

Anger was a fire, it burned white hot and devastated the world around it. But then it faded...This was more than anger.

Character Focus: Hera

Notes: If you haven't listened to, and/or watched the music video for Blackpink's "Kill This Love" (I’ll put a link in a reblog!), I highly recommend you do so either before or after reading, as the fic is based on the lines, and a few of the visuals of it!

The cover art is based off of the visuals of 0:59-1:12 of the music video too!

I'd really appreciate it if you could leave a comment and/or reblog!!! I'm not kidding when I say that makes my week!!

(I’ll put some more notes in a reblog!)

Chapter 1: I Owe It All to You

Hera kept glancing from the road to the speedometer, the dial sneaking steadily upwards: sixty miles an hour to seventy in seconds.

She leaned over and took a cigarette from the pack, putting it between the fingers of the hand on the steering wheel. She took out the lighter and clicked it open, lighting the end, then closed it again and set it back down in the cupholder while she breathed in.

Smoke never tasted so sweet as when she was angry with him.

Eighty, ninety.

“Good to see you again, Bunny!”

“It’s only been a few days!” She laughed, “And who’s Bunny?”

“You are!” Zeus took her hands and gave her eskimo nose kisses. “Who else?”

The golden girl smiled, big and bright—

—the kind of smile one can only give when the world itself is big and bright. When one lives in a realm of hope, where beings keep their secrets, and their promises, and no one lies, or steals, or cheats.

She breathed out, smoke billowing like her mouth was the gates to the Christian’s hell—(they say hell hath no fury right?).

Sometimes she wished she had Zeus’s power; that she could set the world on fire with a glance.

A hundred.

The world was nothing but streaks of light across her vision. Not trees, people, and buildings; not distinguishable as life or meaning, just lines of color as she flew by. Maybe things were better that way. She could dance in the in-between, reach up and grab the ribbons, twirl around with them in beautiful absurdity. Only absurdity was beautiful; truth and sanity were far too ugly.

“Bunny I—”

“Don’t ‘Bunny’ me!”

She took another long draft, letting the smoke’s medicine filling her lungs.

And out.

Breathe out, feel the negative emotions leaving your body, all the meditation gurus say.

What a load of bullshit that was.

For every soothing inhale there was always an exhale that felt like it was clawing its way out of her throat. For every sweet hello there was a bitter goodbye, full of curses at his back, in return. For every incredible high there was a unfathomable price. That was the rule to life; what goes up, must come down.

And she had risen too high, once upon a time.

The test of life had no answer, let alone a right one. Even the gods were slaves to fate, and emotion.

The tires screeched hellishly as she rounded corner.

Hera walked around the corner.

“It just—I feel like the world’s on fire when I’m with him! You know?”

The queen stopped. It was that nymph’s voice. The one who came by earlier.

“Ahh I’m so jealous! Tell me more! Tell me!”

“Well he just…I don’t know! When he kisses me the whole world just kind of…stops. You know? And when he listens…I feel like he’s actually listening.”

“Ugh, too sappy! Tell me the dirty stuff!”

“Oh stop! I’m not gonna tell you about our sex life!”

Hera rolled her eyes, beginning to walk away when—

“Well he is the king of the gods. You’re right; It’s better if I imagine.”

The queen froze.

“Eugh I don’t want you imagining me in bed with him!”

“No, I’m imagining me in bed with him!”

Hera couldn’t hear them anymore. Couldn’t see the world in front of her. She was staring at a space before her eyes only she could see; a space, a memory, where the world was wide and she and Zeus were the only beings in it.

That space was shattering piece by piece.

Her breath was shallow in her chest, her blood pumping her ears.

“Mama?” Ares’ little voice brought her back to the world. “Mama, you’re hurting me.”

She immediately let go of her son’s tiny hand. “I’m so sorry sweetheart!” She crouched down and took his hand in both of hers, this time with the most gentleness she could muster, and kissed his fingers. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah…‘m okay.” He took his hand back and rubbed it.

He looked at her apprehensively.

“��Are you okay, mama? …Are you angry?”

She whizzed passed broken stop sign, catching her reflection in the rear view mirror; her hair in tattered locks like rags about her face, eyebrows permanently furrowed, lip permanently pursued, blue eyes dim and hollow, with nothing of the brightness they once contained; only a few lingering sparks of electricity in an abandoned power plant.

‘Okay’. ‘Angry’.

Such ugly words.

“I just…” the golden girl pushed her hair behind her ear sheepishly, her eyes bright, “I feel like the world’s on fire when I’m with him…you know?”

“Can’t say I do,” Aidoneus muttered softly.

She put her gently hand on his. “Don’t worry, I know you will one day.” She grinned.

And what made it better was that she really meant that.

He tried to smile back.

“So what’s that…like?” he asked softly.

“Well…when he kisses me the world kind of …stops. It feels like there’s nothing and no one in the universe but him and me. We can talk about anything. And when I talk it feels like he actually listens. He always makes me laugh. When I’m with him…it feels like nothing else matters…”

She hated that word: okay. It was too simple, too easy; one could always throw it out as an answer. It didn’t mean, I’m doing very well, or I’m doing poorly—(though it could mean either depending on the context). Okay was just, ‘fine’, ‘alright’. Okay could mean you were doing wonderfully, having a great day, and okay could mean you would rather be dead, and either way people would smile and say good! I’m okay too!. Okay was never truly satisfied, never fully living. Just existing. ‘Okay’ was a word for ghosts; for those who are neither dead nor really alive, neither sinners nor saints. Just floating through the world, caught in between.

She was always okay…and she was never okay.

She rolled down the window, cool air rushing in to the car and scooping up all the smoke, taking it out into the night, giving it to some other lonely Goddess who needed it.

“Ugh, this again? I thought we were done with this…Just leave it for now. You’ll feel better after lunch.”

And, anger, anger was a fire that blossomed like a rose high, and bright, and scorching for a while, eating everything it saw. Then it dwindled. Sometimes it could be lit again by a passing breeze, if the embers were still fresh enough. And sometimes that relight could touch a passerby leaf or bush, and from there desecrate forests and cities. But often, even then, once it had finished blazing it would wither and die. Anger burned white hot and violent at first, but eventually it would fade, and the world would be left to deal with everything it blackened in its wake.

She sometimes had a vague image of smashing Zeus’s head in, of him clutching his big ugly skull, golden trails of blood intermixing with his violet hair, draining down his cheeks. And there she was, holding the stem of glass, half of the vase, in her hand, the rest of it in pieces all over the floor before them. Sometimes. Sometimes it felt good to take out all that anger out on innocent paintings. Sometimes she had to destroy something, before it destroyed her.

“You’re acting crazy.” He had said.

Crazy, was she?

Crazy for believing visions in her head, which were always right in the past? Crazy for being angry? For kicking him out? No.

Crazy for staying with a being like him?

Yes. If she was crazy, that was why.

If I’m crazy, well, then…

She smirked, taking a long draft, and letting it out, grey wisps filling the air around her.

Thanks, baby, I owe it all to you.

She had a faint recollection of being sane once. Before him. He always made her crazy, be it when she was first fell in love with him, or when she rose in hate for him. But there was a time, when, before all this, she was a sweet, naïve little golden girl in the forest, with her sanity in tact, who loved animals, and taking care of broken things, her innocence still put together.

He thought he knew crazy. He hadn’t even scratched the surface.

But then that impulse would fade as quickly as it came, and she was left with guilt for even thinking that way. She’d never do that. She might burn his picture, but she wouldn’t actually hurt him…would she? She hoped it would never get that far.

No. That was anger. The boiling thing rising inside her that made her want to smash, and spit in, his face, and burn paintings, that was anger. Anger rose, vehemently, but in the end it dissolved.

This was more than just anger.

This, this feeling; this dull resounding ache at the back of her consciousness like an unending death knell; this thing that bored a hole in her stomach, making her feel constantly sick; this thing that hung as a weight in her chest; this thing wrapping around her, chaining her wings; this thing that stained her eyes with sleeplessness; this thing that broke into her mind and ransacked her thoughts, tainting all those happy memories, making them seem diluted with lies, and sickening to think of, and never, ever left her house—

This was heartbreak. Eternal, infernal, heartbreak.

She was on a long stretch of road now, out where nature still bloomed and she didn’t have to look at anyone’s faces or talk to anyone. The ribbons of light still outlining the air—(was it two hundred now? She’d lost track.).

Lucky me.

Everyone always told her she was lucky. Not everyone got to be the wife of the king of the gods. Just her. She was lucky she had a husband who was powerful. Who was rich. She was lucky she had a husband who adored her. Who doted on her. Who listened to her. Who she could talk to. Who made her laugh.

Not everyone had that. Some had husbands who were poor. Who were weak. Who didn’t love them, and whom they didn’t love. Husbands who didn’t dote on them, or give them so much as a wanton kiss. Who fixed a permanent scowl on their faces. Who they couldn’t talk to. Husbands who lied to them, and cheated on them.

She was lucky she didn’t have that.

Not everyone got to be queen.

Lucky her. So lucky he chose her. So lucky she got the crown. No one else.

No one but her.

So lucky she had that handsome face to wake up to every day.

(Every damn day)

So lucky could talk to him every day. So lucky could kiss him, and hug him, and make love to him.

(Sometimes she couldn’t even look at him.)

So lucky she had Zeus. That goofy, dumb, brave, arrogant king as her better half. So lucky she had a husband who was so sweet, and kind, and gentle, and funny, and patient, and forgiving. So lucky she didn’t have had a cheating, lying, conniving, backstabbing little weasel for a husband, who put that crown on his head, and walked into his office like he owned the world—!

And he was the one person who could say he did. Including her. Sometimes she couldn’t say a word against him.

He owned the world. Along with every fucking girl in it.

And he did fuck them.

After it all, what would he say?

We all lie, so what? Something like that.

So what.

Him; the illustrious king with his throne, and his lightning. Her; a jealous queen with a stolen crown.

The only one to blame was herself.

“I just feel like everyone’s lying, everyone’s—!” the golden girl cried, her hands over her eyes.

Someone took her arm, someone whose grasp was gentle.

He put his finger on her chin, tipping her gaze up to him.

“I’d never lie to you.” Zeus said, giving a gentle smile.

And what made it better was he meant it.

She returned the smile, placing her hand over his. “Nor I to you.”

That naïve little ray of sunlight darkened by his moon.

We’ve both lied, so what? That would surely be his excuse.

“You know what?! Why don’t we talk about you for a change?”

He’d said he was sorry before. He’d promised to be better.

And she believed him, then.

He’d spent enough time telling the truth that she believed he meant it when he apologized. When he made promises. When he spoke to her, she thought he meant the things he said.

I cheated on you, I’m sorry.

I lied to you, I’m sorry.

Now she questioned everything he had ever said. His apologies, his promises, his compliments, his kisses. Were those words so long ago just another lie? His promise to never lie to her, was that just the first lie of a thousand? As numerous as the hours they spent together. Did he ever intend to keep his words back then?

That was the unfortunate thing about lies; they could reside in even the most sincere of promises.

I’m sorry.

(I’m not sorry.)

Long ago she’d wanted him to apologize. She’d been more than desperate to hear those words falling from his lips.

Now she knew they meant nothing. They could, and usually would, be just another lie. And, even if he meant them, they wouldn’t fix this aching hole he’d left in her chest.

She remembered herself at her wedding; them, the picture of a perfect, royal couple, his violet a compliment to her gold. Both of them practically shimmering, wearing traditional wedding attire—(though impossibly embellished and adorned)—and those goofy, light-filled smiles. The whole pantheon applauding, smiling, wiping away tears at their back.

In other countries, at weddings, they said they’d be together in sickness and health, till death did them part.

Did this count as sickness? As death?

Didn’t he break that promise? Did her promises matter after he broke his? Was her faith and faithfulness worth nothing anymore?

She now imagined herself in a black dress, standing at the back of that ceremony with a bow, and an arrow made of adamant, laced with the venom from a certain many headed monster, its gleam reflected in darkened gaze. She breathed out as they spoke, and loosed that arrow, shooting that girl in the back. Olympus shouted in vain, as she watched all that gold flow out of her past self, those blue eyes fade to a cool grey, keeping her from making the biggest mistake of her life. And she’d look at Zeus’ horrified face and think

I’m sorry.

(I’m not sorry.)

That was surely better than this. Better than dying slowly, the blue in her eyes dimming day by day into lifeless grey still animated somehow, better than that gold leaking out of her with each forsaken sunrise she woke up next to him.

Would he be happy then? Without her? He could fuck around with whoever he wanted.

Would she be happier, dead, without all this?

There was no way she could have known, back then what their lives would become after a few millennia. How that god who held her hands and said he’d never lie to her, who hugged her and kissed her, and seemed so in love, could become dissatisfied. That lust would overtake him; he’d keep wanting more and more, gorging himself on it. She had no way of knowing that she wouldn’t be enough one day.

She was young, and innocent then, and didn’t know better.

She couldn’t forgive herself for that.

Something flashed gold in the headlights before her, and for a second her mind manifested before her; she saw that golden girl still, her own hair draining down the street like liquid, that white wedding attire—old, ragged, covered in burns—her own naïve eyes, still full of light and life, staring up at her, terror overtaking their innocent frames. And her own eyes boiled.

The sound of breaking glass was like a cooling rain upon a fire that had been left raging too long.

******

Zeus was doing important business work. Focus was imperative.

Someone knocked on the door. “Your majesty.”

He fumbled with the spinner he was playing with, dropping it on the floor, sitting upright. He folded his hands on the desk, clearing his throat, trying to look professional.

“Yes? If it’s Hermes wanting to install racing tracks in the sky again—”

“Uh, n-no,” the messenger poked her head in the door, looking nervous, “It’s… about your wife.”

He blinked, then sighed, leaning back in his chair. “…What’s does she want this time?”

“Um…” she swallowed, avoiding his gaze, “S-She’s been in a car accident.”

*****

Notes cont.: Do you guys have any ideas for what song I could use for Zeus for the next chapter? (I want the next chapter to be framed like this one--based around a song, but for him, and from his perspective.) Let's see...In the simplest terms, I'm looking for a song about someone who knows they've made mistakes and/or hurt someone, and wants to do better. It doesn't have to be kpop, it can be anything XD (Though to be honest I'd prefer if it wasn't American pop...)

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nobody-wants-ice-cream · 5 years ago

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Everything Wrong With The Umbrella Academy. Episode 5, Number Five.

We Only See Each Other at Weddings and Funerals

Run Boy Run

Extra Ordinary

Man on the Moon

Disclaimer: This is all in good fun! I wanted to do a really nitpicky re-watch of the series and found some really cool and interesting things I didn’t notice before. This is meant to have a Cinema Sins-esque tone. However, I did take off a lot more sins than Cinema Sins would have because I do genuinely like the series and the people that made it possible. So all of the good things got one sin off and all the bad things got one sin added. This is a really long post, so grab some popcorn. If there’s anything that I missed, feel free to add it!

I would also like to add that normally you wouldn’t watch a show this way. I am purposefully looking for mistakes, easter eggs, and other things that we’re not supposed to notice. I am watching not with the goal of entertainment, but for analysis. So most of the things that I sin, I am seeing for the first time.

Number Five

The apocalypse looks incredible. Well done special effects team! I know I already shouted them out, but they deserve another one. Or two. -2

Five shades Dolores with an umbrella. What a considerate dude. -1

Heat of the Moment is an awesome song. -1

Five’s survival gear. Well done costume department. -2

Also, the progression of skill and age is really well done. -1

Dolores’s little santa hat. -1

And her sunglasses. -1

“Do you remember that little mansion just outside city limits where we-- yeah” Noodle incident. However, the way Five says this implies that I really, really don’t wanna know. +1

Argyle Public Library. Suddenly the reason why Five went there makes sense. -1

How did Five get all the way up there on the library walls? Did he use a ladder? If so, that was begging for him to fall and break his name. +1

Sean Sullivan (who plays Old Man Five) does an excellent job imitating Aidan Gallagher’s vocal patterns and movements. -1

The Handler is the first person Five sees after 45 years of isolation. +1

Title screen lunch box! -1

Also, Five kept a lunch box to remind him of his family. He had Vanya’s book but nothing else with their images on it. I’m sad now, but glad that Five at least had something. -1

Five is so hungover. +1

Luther looks like he’s about to cry when Five tells him about finding their dead bodies. My boy! +1

Tom Hopper is an excellent actor. -1

Five also looks like he’s about to cry. +1

Aidan Gallagher is an excellent actor. -1

Luther lifts up Diego and holds him like Diego is an angry toddler. This amuses me. -1

See! I told you. Diego figured out that Five was involved with the shootings at Griddys and Gimbel Brothers on Patch’s doorstep! -1

“They work for my former employer. A woman called The Handler.” No one in this show is allowed to have a reasonable name. +1

Underneath how callous Five is about Patch’s death, he shows genuine concern for Diego. -1

Diego has not slept at all. And he is planning to go after Hazel and Cha Cha. Good luck with that, buddy. +1

Luther finally gets tired of Five vagueing everybody. Good job, I’m curious too. Er, I was when this was my first time watching it. -1

The Handler decides to wear three inch red pumps to the apocalypse. +1

The Handler is as vague as a Multi Level Marketing schemer would be.+1

The Commission decides to wait 45 years to recruit Five instead of a more reasonable number. Like zero years. Honestly, if I was the Handler, I would have picked up Five as a young, impressionable thirteen year old. Then he would feel indebted to the Commission and wouldn’t have had time to come up with the equations to escape. The Commission has no logical reasoning skill. +1

“You’re saying that I could actually leave here? Go...go back?” Heartbreaking. Sean Sullivan gets another sin off. -1

“All of this, was supposed to happen”. Kate Walsh is a kick ass actress. -1

The Commission is composed of dicks. +1

Five asks Dolores for permission before running off to join The Commission. -1

Five’s mustache. +1

I would watch a spin off of Five’s time in the Commission. Hopefully season 2 explores this more. Dallas plot, here we come? Sin until we get some answers. +1

You can see Five’s epiphany in his eyes. His expression says “I’ve got it! I’ve got it!” -1

The words on Vanya’s book look real. The props department did not have to go that hard. -2

However, whatever notes Five wrote are indecipherable. And for good reason if he was attempting to fool an entire time commission. -1

The fire extinguisher Klaus throws confirms for Five that the portal works. -1

Also, Five is clutching Vanya’s book. It’s like he’s nervous to see them again after so much time. -1

The fall from the portal to the ground doesn’t break, scratch, or hurt Five at all. +1

Also, Dallas plot foreshadowing? Remains a sin until we have answers. +1

I hope that they show Five picking up his hat, radio, gun, and possibly the fire extinguisher and that is why we never found any of those in a grassy knoll. Season 2 better resolve this. +1

“But that’s murder”. Luther, you threw people out of buildings when you were twelve years old. That is also murder. +1

Aidan Gallagher kills the delivery in this scene. Well done. -1

Klaus still has Dave’s blood on his hands. Also, putting Klaus through even more trauma. +1

Robert Sheehan and the heartbroken thousand yard stare. -1

The music choice really works. -1

That emotional, awful scream. -1

The briefcase exploding may foreshadow Klaus’s comic powers. Sin until we get answers. +1

Hazel and Cha Cha casually murdered Claudia. +1

“Unauthorized round trip travel to 1968”. This is how we found out where Klaus went. It requires a bit more brain power to figure out the Vietnam war from here, however, I think that this was a clever way to do it. It brings us back to the reason Klaus ended up there. -1

Honestly, Hazel was right to not carry the briefcase on him. If Five had seen it at Gimbel Brothers then he would have taken it because he knows what it is. It would be an insurance policy or could be used as leverage. Either way, Hazel and Cha Cha were going to lose their briefcase. +1

Allison, you were there when Vanya made breakfast plans with Leonard. Is the coffee and bombolini your way of trying to distract Vanya? Because based on the makeup and the nice scarf, it isn’t likely that you will be successful. +1

Vanya has a framed piece of sheet music. Either that’s some really valuable manuscript or its something kitschy. Either way, it’s a sin. +1

“What are you concerned about?” Vanya, the red flags are everywhere. +1

“Like a woman who’s based her whole life on rumors.” Ouch. Allison is trying to give you genuine advice, Vanya. This was uncalled for. +1

Leonard is getting progressively creepier. +1

“Can you imagine sharing your birthday with six world-famous assholes who all know they’re better than you?” Choke on that irony. +1

Leonard doesn’t stop her by saying, “Wait, that’s salt!” he waits until she already put salt in it. Dick. +1

“What happened to the other girl?” Harold, you know damn well. +1

Good use of Beethoven. -1

Klaus is back in the bath. Bookends to his tourture. +1

Klaus is haunted by memories of Vietnam this time instead of just ghosts in general. Trauma. +1

I made eye contact with Aidan Gallagher again. +1

Klaus doesn’t want to talk about Vietnam with Five because the last time he tried to connect, Five jumped away. +1

Five looks really excited to connect about time travel with somebody in his family. -1

Five doesn’t care that Klaus was tortured by Hazel and Cha Cha. +1

Five, Klaus has been tortured and then was in some war (Five wouldn’t know yet) for almost a year. This proves that Five’s decision making is impared. Presumably by his hangover. +1

Diego takes out his dagger from episode 1’s bank robbery. This is significant because of something Patch said. That Diego runs around as a vigilante to prove that what he did with the Umbrella Academy had meaning. Now that that has gotten Patch killed indirectly, he feels upset and confused. The dagger that he used as a child is now a symbol of what he did to Patch. -1

The fridging of Detective Patch. Yes, I’m still pissed about it and will continue to be pissed about it. +2

At this point, Klaus doesn’t know about Mom’s “death”. And I don’t think Five does either. The Umbrella Academy of Not Talking To Each Other should be the school’s full name. +1

Allison and Cha Cha don’t see each other when getting into or out of the chairs right across from one another. +1

Allison is doing the equivalent of social media stalking her sister’s boyfriend. Smart. -1

Extra Ordinary bites everyone in the ass. Thanks, Vanya. +1

Five and Allison have the same slow, blocky handwriting. Did Reggie teach them to write as slowly and as large as possible? +1

Hazel and Agnes’s flirting. It’s cute? -1

Klaus ran down the stairs wearing Grace’s heels and broke his jaw when they were twelve. Trauma. +1

Diego can’t park for shit either. Diego and Five need to learn how to park vehicles. +1

Klaus’s little “Hey, Dave” when he sees Dave’s picture. -1

The show fakes out the vet confronting Klaus. Clever. -1

Diego is genuinely concerned for Klaus. -1

The vet is itching for a fight. Asking a drunk person to apologize? Dumbass. +1

“I’d like to apologize...that you are depriving some village of their IDIOT!” -1

Klaus and Diego get into a bar fight in less than five minutes. Checks out. -1

Agnes sees the birds the way Hazel sees normal people. I like the analogy. -1

Agnes does not own Griddys. Who does? Is she the manager or something? +1

Hazel and Agnes theme. -1

Diego’s face when Klaus says he lost the only person he ever loved more than himself. He’s thinking, “Klaus lost his Eudora”. -1

No way in hell Five would have been able to get up as high as the chalk goes. +1

Five is still using Vanya’s book as a notebook. Checks out. -1

The rifle Five pulls out looks a lot like the one he points at the Handler. It doesn’t look like the one he pointed at Kennedy. Why would Five lie about this? +1

Luther, you murdered people when you were twelve. +1

Luther dangles Dolores out the window by her neck. Logical, yeah. Fucked, also yeah. +1

The level of concern Five has for Dolores. -1

Also, well done creating tension, show. My heart was beating like crazy. -1

The Gigue from Partita No. 2 in D Minor by Bach is one of my favorite pieces. -1

No one stops playing like that. +1

Allison takes her not-stalking info to Vanya and presents it really accusingly. At this point, Vanya is sick of your shit, Allison. +1

“You’re trying to dig up dirt on a guy that I like, who does that?” Everyone with an internet connection does this for the people they care about. What Allison did was hella extra though. +1

Vanya is getting more assertive. -1

Vanya is a dick to Allison. +1

“They’re a real frickin’ mess”. Understatement of the century. +1

Cha Cha wouldn’t know about the moon mission because Vanya’s book came out before it. Also, Vanya wouldn’t know that Five could time travel. +1

Diego you haven’t slept at all, as soon as you drop you’re gonna sleep like a baby. +1

The motel clerk doesn’t notice Cha Cha’s pistol, which was directly in his line of sight. +1

Diego doesn’t notice Klaus’s footsteps. +1

“Yeah but you also told me that licking a nine-volt battery would give me pubes” “We were eight”. Sibling culture. -1

Klaus saves Diego from gunfire the best he can. Even though Diego still gets shot, sin off for Klaus’s heroics. -1

“Was this all part of your master plan” “Shut up”. Sibling culture. -1

Audition panels are always dicks. +1

If you start an audition the way Vanya just did with the shaky bow contact, you’re fucked. +1

Imogen is a great violinist. Ellen Page is not. It’s really easy to see when they switch out. +1

Allison goes to Leonard’s place with no backup. Come on, even Diego has backup! +1

Allison doesn’t tell Five and Diego about how she got into Leonard’s house when they were breaking in again later. The window would have been much better than breaking the door. +1

Vanya’s powers are distorting her music. It sounds like her intonation is gone. Yet the conductor looks impressed. +1

Allison almost finds Helen Cho’s body. +1

The camera cuts to the attic entrance to show that it will be significant later on. -1

The Hargreeves car has HERMES on its licence plate. A.) nice comics reference. B.) Hermes is the God of Travelers. C.) Of course Reggie has a vanity licence plate. -3

Five and Luther connecting over their forced isolation. -1

Also, Aidan Gallagher and Tom Hopper play off each other really well. -1

“I’ve lived a long life, but you’re still a young man. You got your whole life ahead of you. Don’t waste it.” Luther’s face amuses me. -1

Five threatening while Hazel and Cha Cha doesn’t look ridiculous. I genuinely belive it. Props to Aidan Gallagher. -1

Five and Luther look so confused by Klaus and Diego arriving in an ice cream truck. This is such an underrated scene. -3

Ride of the Valkyries -1

Klaus’s little wave. -1

“Whee” I love Ben. -2

I want to know how they shot this. The behind the scenes after the Handler showed up and stopped time must have been strange to look at. -1

Luther protects Five with his whole body without question. -1

Five puts his hands in his pockets but then they’re behind his back in the next shot with no motion to explain it. +1

The Handler is a creep. She’s into Five. +5

Where and When did Five get that pistol? +1

So many memes come from this scene. -2

Five doesn’t have his finger anywhere near the trigger in some shots, but in others it’s two seconds from shooting the Handler. What’s up with that? +1

The Handler is so, so creepy. The hand caressing Five’s cheek? Eww. That all but confirms that she wants to be his Mrs. Robinson. +5

Kate Walsh plays an excellent villain. -1

Five made a deal with the devil because it was his only option. -1

[Gerard Way and Ray Toro’s “Happy Together” playing.] -1

Cha Cha was planning to abandon Hazel. Otherwise why else would she open the briefcase? +1

Ben gets shotgun. -1

Klaus finally gets to flip off Hazel and Cha Cha. -3

“SHIIT” Cha Cha, you got played. I love my smart boys. -5

Vanya did well at her audition! I’m proud of her! -1

Leonard knows the exact words Reggie would have used to describe Vanya’s powers. And he uses them here. +1

“I got first chair!” Congratulations, Vanya! -2

“No one’s ever believed in me like this.” Fuck you, Reggie. +1

Having sex with Leonard/Harold desereves a couple sins. +2

Helen Cho and Reggie’s book reveal. Leonard is a creep confirmed. +2

Dr. Pogo? More like Dr. Complicit in Reggie’s Bullshit. +1

Overall Review:

In case you couldn’t tell, this is one of my favorite episodes. Finally, all of our characters are invested in the apocalypse plot, even indirectly. Vanya’s powers emerge, the Handler and the Commission enter the chat, and Leonard is revealed to be a murderer and to have Reggie’s diary. Things are really heating up in this episode.

I had a really hard time finding anything wrong that wasn’t character flaw is character flaw and villain character is a villain. This is a fun episode. If I wanted to show someone an episode of The Umbrella Academy to get them hooked onto the show, I would show them this episode. It moves at a perfect pace and has enough mystery to keep everyone on their toes. When I first watched this episode, I decided to stay up all night and binge the rest of them. Before I was watching one every couple of days. Episode five is what really hooked me. Props to everyone that worked on it!

I want to give a special shout out to Sean Sullivan. He did really well playing Five! I hope we see him in season 2 for that one scene. If you’ve read the comics then you know the one.

Sins: 4

Sentence: Watching Klaus’s breakdown after Vietnam was more than punishment enough.

#The Umbrella Academy #all in good fun #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #Allison Hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #leonard peabody #hazel and cha cha #the handler

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pastel-rights · 4 years ago

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IDV AU Masterlist

I think Masterlist is the correct term?

Anyways, all the IDV AU’s I got at the moment-

Normal IdV AU: So this is my normal IdV AU! Obviously. Ehehe. This one is similar to the game, where they play these dangerous games with the goal of a grand prize. It differs in the character backstories however! Some of these new changes are:

Lucky Guy: In the original game, we don’t know his reasons for playing in such a dangerous game, only that he played in it. He’s known for being the stand in for the detective during the tutorials (as Leo is for the hunter) and the guy doesn’t have much personality. In my AU, Luckster gets an invitation to the manor after an incident that resulted in him losing his memory (and basically his identity lol) which he is offered help with figuring out who he was before everything happened if he played their games. Spoilers, Luckster has no choice but to go.

Aesop Carl: In the original game, it’s noted Aesop’s “mentor” was a serial killer, and Aesop himself had assisted in these murders. He found the manor invite off the person of a woman he had embalmed. In my AU, Aesop still basically helped commit murder, but instead of finding the invite kind of randomly, he meets the Manor’s owner in person, where the owner employs Aesop to embalm the corpses of former participants of their game. Aesop acts more like staff than a participant, but he is still allowed to play in the games. The hunters just aren’t allowed to kill him/let him bleed out. Rocket chair is fine though. (Melissa hates that Aesop has special privileges, she wants to kill him so badly sometimes, this man is so sassy and so snarky and she hates it)

Luca Balsa: I dive into his story a lot more in the Death AU actually! But basically, Luca is blamed for the death of the inventor, goes to prison, gets bailed out and receives manor invite and is tempted solely by the money. In my AU, Luca never got to work of his own choice, and didn’t get to work on his own inventions. He was a prisoner to his work, quite literally. His mentor ran a lot of different experiments on Luca, one of which caused Luca to be able to conduct and control electric currents, instead of the incident being the cause of it. Also this man is like, super touch-starved because his mentor never let him out of the estate. Luca was treated more like an object than a human. The invitation to the manor, to Luca, was an acknowledgement that Luca indeed was a person, and it allowed Luca to do the things Luca wanted to do.

Also, the more games they play (and win) the more money they get, and depending on their score depends on how much money they get.

IdV Death AU (Normal): If you’ve ever looked at any of my IdV content, you should know about this AU. This is basically the “Timmy murders a bunch of IdV characters she loves starting with Nort and making her way down the list” AU because it’s an AU that follows certain ghosts (Like Norton and Luca) and certain humans (Naib and Edgar) and to get certain characters as ghosts, I have to kill them. Sorry Norton 🤷🏻‍♀️

Here is a more detailed post for this AU. It’s also called the fantasy AU sometimes cause I’m dumb and can’t keep consistent naming.

IdV Racer AU: This is an AU based off the COA IV trailer, as well as incorporating the COA III suits! It takes place before the final race, a couple races before it actually. The moments from before the final race, is told as a flashback by Mike, and after the final race with the COA III team would be “reality”. As for the 5 suits in the essence (Molten Hound/Gamekeeper, Pumping Tires/Acrobat, Fueling Agent/Barmaid, Highway Cavalier/Prospector, and Reflective Mirror/Priestess) and the COA III suits (Netherwalker/Smiley Face, Puppeteer/Mechanic, Whiplash/Cowboy, Trickster/Embalmer, Surveyor/Seer and Vile Blossom/Female Dancer.) Here are the breakdown of the individual suits and their roles.

Molten Hound/Gamekeeper: Bane serves as a challenge for Norton, Demi and Fiona, and has chains on the 3 of them. Out of the three of them, Norton has the most chains on him. Their lives belong to him. And over the years, they’re trying their hardest to break the chains Bane has on them. It’s only after Mike, not bound by Bane’s chains, gets involved that they get their freedom from Bane. Bane notes that there will be more challengers after him, and becomes a spectator to their journey after defeated. He even trains them to be better.

Pumping Tires/Acrobat: Unlike the others, Mike is unbound by Bane‘s chains, meaning he’s free to do whatever he’s like. Growing up in the circus, after a terrible incident that leaves only two survivors, Mike grew up wild, jumping from hyperfixation to hyperfixiation, not caring how well a job paid or not. He always got himself into trouble, and often acted without thinking (such as crashing his car into Bane’s, and drowning in the river because of his actions) which causes a bit of trouble and panic for the others. Before COA, he was known as a very famous acrobat named Mr. Swifts and was well known for his disappearing juggling acts and incredible flexibility. He joined the COA IV team towards the beginning of their final races against Bane, and he was able to bridge the gap because of his chain free status, which helped earn Norton, Demi and Fiona their freedoms, even if it meant giving up his own life. He gets along well with everyone, he isn’t really disturbed by their “strange” habits as other racers are, he finds them very interesting. If anything, he considers himself stranger. He doesn’t give his own life much consideration, he’s too busy trying to save other people’s lives. He would gladly lay down his life to make sure other people could live theirs without fear, and that shows up till his last appearance in the COA IV race, in which the aftermath has him meeting the COA III group. Don’t worry, he reunited with his newly freed friends... after almost a year. The two COA teams see different sides of him. With the COA III team, he gets an outfit similar to the one Vile Blossom wears instead of his COA IV racer outfit or his Mr. Swifts outfit.

Fueling Agent/Barmaid: Demi grew up with the other two COA III racers (Norton and Fiona) and is one of the racers Bane has chains on. She doesn’t really have her own free will, and has (unwilling) done some terrible things, such as sabatoging the engines of other cars. It was her who introduced Mike to the gang initially as one of Bane’s plans to torment the trio, seeing as Mike was pretty well known in the community in general for being a sole Acrobat (He was known as Mr. Swifts at the time) and having something bad happen to a celebrity like him could spell bad news for the crew. Little did Bane know, Mike isn’t the typical celebrity. Far from it. Demi became really interested in Mike after first meeting him, and Bane twisted Demi’s feelings of admiration and crushing into almost an obsession that prevented her from properly functioning (aka daydreaming while driving, dangerous stuff like that) while makes Mike a bit uneasy, but he seems to get over it rather quickly. Like, really quickly. Demi often is the one tending to Norton and Fiona’s wounds, as she doesn’t seem to get hurt as badly. She gets really emotional at times, going from one emotional extreme to another one. She can be unsettlingly happy one moment to extremely angry the next for no reason.

Highway Cavalier/Prospector: Norton has had the most experiences with Bane’s control. He’s also one of the few people Bane has used to make an example out of (the scar of his face) to instill fear into the others. He’s suffered through a lot trying to win his freedom and his friend’s freedom, but no matter what he does, he can’t break Bane’s chains. Not alone at least. When Mike is introduced to the trio by Demi, Norton can almost hear Bane’s thoughts. He knows Bane wants to hurt Mike to get the trio to do something or to get the public to act a certain way towards them, he just knows Bane’s intentions aren’t good. So he distances himself, he tries to drive Mike away so that Bane can’t use them to hurt him, but his harsh exterior is pretty quickly and easily broken by Mike. He goes from tolerating Mike to starting to enjoying Mike’s presence, although he’s very hesitant letting Mike race with them (cause of Bane and all), he generally is very open to hanging out with Mike. Norton gets hurt a lot, before forces himself to keep going, because in his mind, no matter what he goes through, it’ll be worth it when he earns his freedom. Bane likes to hold this over his head, and more times than not, Norton’s in critical condition and depressed by the end of it.

Reflective Mirror/Priestess: Fiona is very cold and closed-off. She used to be this upbeat, outgoing friendly figure, but Bane’s broken her to the point she feels everyone is out to get her. She often feels like everyone is using her, and only through confirmation from Norton and Demi is she able to get over this type of mentality. She’s also very unsure about Mike, but for different reasons than Norton. She feels like Mike is hiding something, she has this image of Mike that isn’t what the other two have. She doesn’t really mind Mike but she doesn’t trust him. It isn’t till Mike saves her after Bane crashes her car initially that Fiona realizes Mike isn’t all bad. Fiona still stays a bit cold towards Mike, but Mike doesn’t really care. Although, the Mike Fiona sees is more of a hidden personality, and the Mike Demi and Norton sees is more of Mike’s surface personailty. Being a priestess has granted her many abilities, after all.

Netherwalker/Smiley Face: Similar to Bane, he serves as a challenge. He’s a bit worse than Bane if I’m honest, he exceeds in mental torture instead of physical torture. He often messes with people’s thoughts, as well as the way the see the world. He acts like a hallucination almost. He can reveal himself to whoever he decides, and uses it to drive the COA III team insane almost. He often overlooks everyone, and takes pride in his abilities. A certain acrobat’s actions catches his eyes though... needless to say, he is not prepared to deal with Mike. No one ever is. He’s able to strike up deals, and is very convincing. Knowing Mike was the one who broke the Molten Hound’s chains interests him, he wants to see how far he can push Mike before Mike shatters. He makes a deal, to bring him back to life to discover the truth, but awakens a much darker side of Mike in the process, corrupting the Acrobat as a result.

Puppeteer/Mechanic: Being a very curious soul, Tracy struggled to understand the predicament she found herself in. Tormented by the Netherwalker, she is driven crazy by everything she doesn’t know. On top of that, when a certain Acrobat arrives (assumed dead at first), this just adds to her frustration. Yet she’s curious, intrigued by what happened to him.

“He looks like a racer, no?”

“Did you hear about that big incident on the racetrack? One of the racers swerved off the race track and straight into the ocean. They never found a body, you think this may be him?”

“I heard he wasn’t even a racer, but a jack of all traits. He did whatever he wanted, most famous for being an acrobat.”

“How curious... I wonder if he survived his trip.”

She’s obsessed with finding out what happened to Mike, as well as the COA IV team, and it’s this burning desire to uncover the truth that brings the two COA teams together. So ya... Mike’s recklessness and Tracy’s curiosity is what brought the two teams together.

Whiplash/Cowboy: The poor guy has no idea what’s going on. He goes out for an hour and comes back to a washed up body, and Tracy making a new journal dedicated to finding out the truth. He’s very serious, very protective over the whole group. He’s rather levelheaded, yet once you get to know him, he shows his softer side. He isn’t that phased by the Netherwalker’s attempts to break him, but he’s always concerned for his companions. He’s also pretty knowledgeable, he keeps up with the news a lot.

Trickster/Embalmer: Aesop is very gentle in the way he goes about things. He is careful with what he says, and often hides things from the others. He’s very cryptic, and often twists things to sound worse/better than they are. Puppeteer hates it when he does this, because it shows he knows the truth of the incident and he’s purposely withholding it from her. More times than not, he gets in trouble for it. But after Mike’s arrival, it almost seems like the play field has flipped. He’s no longer the one in control. He’s just as clueless as the rest of the COA III team. And that is what drives him mad. No Netherwalker involved. Yet.

Surveyor/Seer: Eli chooses to see the world from a bird’s eye view. He comes at every issue objectively, and often will lean in whatever direction is better to his advantage. It’s Brooke Rose who finds Mike a couple minutes after he washes up on shore. At this point, Eli can tell Mike is no longer among the living, yet he can feel something special about him, so he (painstakingly) drags Mike to the others. Like Aesop, Eli knows things that the others don’t because of the way he can choose to view the world, but he doesn’t tend to hide it. He only says what he thinks is important. He is very thrown off by the whole situation. In the end, Eli’s the one who takes up The Netherwalker’s offer to bring Mike back with the intention of learning why Mike was brought to them. In Eli’s mind, there has to be a reason, right? There always was. He eventually gets everyone else on board too.

Vile Blossom/Female Dancer: Margaretha knew Mike before everything happened, and to Margaretha, it all seems to happen at once. From losing her only job to becoming her favorite poetry’s champion, she didn’t have time to wonder. She knows she left Mike all alone, she takes full responsibility for what happened to him. Of what he became. Margaretha was like a motherly figure to Mike, she let him down. She would do anything to make it right. She knows that when the Netherwalker offers to revive her deceased companion, that he isn’t doing it with kind intentions, yet she wants to know his story, she wants to know what happened, for different reasons than everyone else. She oversees Mike while he’s in the care of the COA III team.

IdV Cameras AU: In this AU, Joseph is the most powerful, as implied by the cameras in the name. It basically explores the pasts of the characters in the Death/Fantasy AU, as well as exploring different character paths entirely if he tweaked small things (like having Xie Bi’an come back before Fan drowns, or having Luca bailed out before he gets hanged.) to use those versions of those characters. He can create custom versions of whatever character he so pleases, and then use them to his advantage. It can be a precursor to the Death AU, but in this AU in particular, he explore these alternative paths to see where they led, finding out some things (like the inventor’s death, as well as Fan’s death) are inevitable.

#idv #idv au #idv death au #idv fantasy au #idv racer AU #idv camera au #death mention tw #death mention

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pavcrti · 4 years ago

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chicago’s very own pavarti kumari has been spotted on madison avenue driving a rose gold model x , welcome ! your resemblance to mishti rahman is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty fifth birthday bash . your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re fiery , but being eloquent might help you . i think being a pieces explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be fresh fields of lavender that expand into a cotton candy sky , the reflection of the sun caught in the glimmer of a crystal , rhyming couplets professing deep - seeded emotion . ( i ghost write songs for artists who like to claim they write their own work . ) & ( cis female + she / her ) + ( emily , 25 , sher / her , pst )

holy shit , it’s ya girl . i’m back after needing a bit of a break from being in a group . and bc i honestly adored this place sm and i made so many great friends here i am back . . . 👀 i expect plots with each and every one of u btw so u best deliver . i desperately wanna get this finished before i pass the fuck out . i’ll be joining the server in the morning , but in the meantime if u wanna be my friend 👀 👀 titsiana praises satan#7989

biography .

name : pavarti kumari

age : twenty five

gender : cisfemale

zodiac : pieces

sexuality : bisexual

profession : singer / songwriter

hair color : black

eye color : brown

piercings : both lobes , nose

tattoos : none

voice claim : jhene aiko

released albums : sail out ( ep ) , trip

miss pavarti was born in bangladesh . her parents are both 100% bangladeshi and immigrated to chicago when pavarti was four years old . she had an older brother who was five years older than her . his name was siva .her family traveled back every summer so she is very immersed in the culture of her homeland and is a very spiritual person as a result . from a young age , pavarti had a fascination with the english language . not only was it so complex , but there was so much that could be done with it as well . she loved poetry and different types of prose . she also developed an absolute adoration for hip hop as a result . she’s been able to work several of her lyrical inspirations in her albums , something she would’ve never anticipated growing up as an immigrant child . when she entered middle school , she joined the school choir as an extra curricular activity which is what inspired her love for music and introduced her to her vocal talents . within time , she began combining her inclination for poetry with her voice . she wrote her first song at thirteen and began to freestyle for her friends . unfortunately , she was never taken too seriously by her peers . she was a female , hardly the usual suspect for the rnb , soul vibe that her voice conveys . before she graduated high school , her brother siva was killed in a car crash . the unexpected death of her best friend and protector sent pavarti into a spiral . this begun her tendency to alter her reality to escape from her pain with the help of drugs . she frequently writes about her brother in her music . when she was eighteen , she was discovered , ironically , by a manager of a local rapper at a poetry slam she was performing at . she impressed him and he introduced her to his client . this is how pavarti entered the hip hop scene , albeit , in secret . in hip hop , it’s very custom for performers to write the tracks that they put out themselves . pavarti learned that she could learn the skills of the trade whilst making her own connections and making pretty good cash , as well . as the years progressed , the notoriety of her clients rose . she’s written bars for multiple big names and by harvesting these friendships , she was able to get signed to a record label and put out her first ep at age twenty one . it was well received by critics and pavarti was thrilled to be taken seriously as an artist doing what she loves . she kept working , kept her nose in her business and released her first full album , trip , just last year . she feels like she is constantly growing artistically and finds herself inspired everywhere she turns . she’s currently working on her second full album and just dropped a new single , p*$$y fairy . other than that , there’s not too much else to note in her history . she did not grow up rich , rather she’s only recently come into wealth . her money is very new and she’s not too skilled at spending it wisely .

personality .

okay , so this will probably just be a long winded explanation that no one really asked for / needed but here we go ! first and foremost . . . pavarti is a dreamer in every sense of the word . she’s whimsical , she’s connected to the earth around her . she drifts off into elaborate day dreams and tells herself stories in her head as she falls to sleep . she is very spiritual . she meditates twice a day . her house always smells of incense . she has an affinity for weed and hallucinogenics . she really enjoys writing under the influence . her album trip is literally inspired by several drug experiences she had that had a profound impact in her life . pavarti’s general demeanor is borderline wall - flower . you wouldn’t expect her to be so shy , but she is . she’s the giggly girl who’ll hang back and let someone else come to her first . in the meantime , she’s taking in every single detail . she’s incredibly observant . sometimes she thinks in poetry . she realizes that she isn’t the typical visual for a female hip hop , rnb artist but it’s truly her passion in life and her art flows through her . she says more in her songs than she does to the people she needs to and that can definitely be problematic . with that said , pavarti is very well spoken . girl knows how to sweet talk her way through just about anything . but she also has the temper of a devil . she does not tolerate being fucked around with . she has that attitude about her where she will go and key your car if you hurt her or one of her best friends . people typically wouldn’t expect such an explosion from someone so outwardly sanguine and easy going but she’s the type to scratch someone’s eyes out if she has to . her music is her spouse . this fucks her up relationship wise a lot because she tends to let chances pass her by because she would rather stay undistracted . she has an ego , but not really in the outward way that one would anticipate when ego is involved . she knows she’s talented . she knows she’s attractive . but she also knows that she’s fucking lucky to be where she is and she’s grateful . pavarti is the type who wakes up with a smile because she has another twenty four hours to be alive . she doesn’t take things for granted --- she used to , until she lost her older brother and she realized just how quickly things can change . pavarti is a fiercely loyal individual to her friends . she will stand up for them , no matter what . the thing is , she expects it back . she is very much aware of her self worth and does not react kindly to a one sided vibe .

plots .

ok , ok , ok . . . so how i am going to do this is offer up some songs / song pairings for songs that i believe pavarti has written for specific people with certain plots in mind for at least her side of things . and then i will also list some basic plots that aren’t based on anything in particular , but are still plots that i would like very much to have ! the links go to lyrics ! all plots are gender neutral , so ignore any pronouns that are in the songs .

bed peace / stay ready / while we’re young --- fwbs with feelings : pavarti and your muse have been friends for a while . somewhere along the line things crossed the line and they began hooking up . it’s obvious that they feel something intense for each other but something is always in the way of them being together --- plus , neither are really sure if the friendship could withstand a romantic relationship crashing and burning . so here they are , stuck in this awkward limbo . they hook up , hang out , awkwardly third wheel when the other is dating someone else . it’s an interesting dynamic and pavarti wouldn’t deal with drama with anyone else but your muse . they have a really compelling bond and neither can think of life without the other but things have been like this for a long time and there is only so long a relationship as complicated as this one could actually function .

the worst / comfort inn ending / moments / when we love --- exes that ended badly with lingering feelings : this was . . . just a crazy hot and cold relationship . when it was hot , it was fucking hot . when it was cold ? damn . hell itself could freeze over . they probably have done and said a lot of nasty , nasty shit to each other . at the same time , they could’ve been literally planning their wedding at some point because they both were incredibly serious about each other . in comfort inn ending , pavarti suggests their relationship was a result of her cheating on another boyfriend to be with your muse and your muse ultimately cheated on her as well . we can discuss that but i would high key kill for the extra drama . around the time pavarti was writing her first full album , they had a rekindling that inspired her to write moments and when we love . i don’t envision this relationship having ended in a decent way from there , though . more cheating ? fighting ? they were definitely toxic . she’s definitely planning on dragging their ass some more in her tracks .

lsd / sativa --- platonic soulmates : omg so this plot is . . . so fucking cute . but these two would basically die for each other . there is zero sexual attraction , just genuine , pure love . they do everything together . but what really sealed their bond ? well . . . many different intense acid trips , of course ! they love to get high together and forget about the world . they both feel like they can trust the other because they have been present for so many life - changing moments . they rarely go a day without seeing each other and absolutely never go a day without talking in some capacity . sometimes they fight like siblings . but pavarti would honestly kill for your muse . there is nothing she wouldn’t do for them .

new balance / newer balance / you are here / clear my mind --- the romantic bad influence : this plot is another messy piece of trash . from the beginning , when they first met , pavarti always thought your muse was too good to be true . they reminded her so much of her brother . she felt this sense of peace with your muse . she fell in love quickly but at the same time , felt like there was something looming over their relationship . like it wasn’t permanent . like it’s all just a dream . the bad influence part isn’t portrayed too much in the lyrics other than stressing pavarti’s fear that your muse isn’t exactly who they say they are and this relationship is doomed to fail somehow . she knows that when this explodes in her face that it’s going to destroy her . i see your muse bringing out edgier sides of pavarti’s personality . they party a lot , they influence pavarti to do crazy things with them and she does and she feels so alive with your muse . that is , until , it all crumbles . the facade is destroyed and whatever it was that your muse wasn’t being upfront about shatters the way she feels for your muse entirely . she feels betrayed . clear my mind is pavarti’s way of trying to hype herself up to be stronger than she really is .

never call me / --- best friends turned enemies : this is my last long one i promise , wtf , why did i decide to do this . anyways --- this plot is again , a shit ton of angst so enjoy that . your muse and pavarti used to be the best of friends . inseparable . that is until things went south . fast . we can discuss what it was that happened between our muses but it was something huge and preferably something where they both could stubbornly blame each other . pavarti feels slighted because she thinks that your muse should be the one who reaches out and perhaps your muses could be thinking the same about her .

romantic plots : crushes , unrequited love , hateship , party hookup , friends with benefits , secret fling , summer romance

platonic plots : give me close friends ! and tons of them please ! thanks . roommates , drug buddies , confidants , unlikely friendship , travel friends , only friends in the dms , enemies turned friend

#wealthyhq:intro #tw death #tw drugs #um um this got so fucking lONG i prOFUSELY APOLOGIZE #i need 2 pass tf out now baiiiiiiiii

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