#life advice for 20 somethings

[astrogirlythings]

I wish I knew this in my early 20s:

I promise.. these advices r gold.

You don't have to achieve everything ASAP.. Take your time.. don't put too much pressure on urself about ur career. Because ur career plans / interests might change by ur mid 20s..

Self help books >>>> fictional shit .. if u hate to read.. there r always audio books on YouTube or torrents 😝.

There is nothing wrong with being or wanting to be in a relationship... All those uncles and aunties r just manipulating us into believing that it's a bad thing / taboo. (*In Indian household*).. and by ur mid 20s.. these mfs ask u.. y u didn't find someone for urself. 🙄😒. So don't listen to them.. ever.

Some men r just pussies. Girls should not be afraid of making the move. Society will look at u like u r shit... But don't be afraid of doing what is right for u. (*In Indian household*)

There is nothing wrong with having male friends.. tbh.. they r so much better than female friends. They don't beat around the bush and they r extremely honest.. do not hide them or treat them like a secret.. it's nothing to be ashamed of. (*In Indian household*)

Don't give another chance to someone who belittled u or insulted u or provoked u... They will do it again.. they r wired to be assholes.

The only way to deal with manipulative people (who make u doubt about yourself) is by... Cutting off their access to u. U r a diamond and not everyone deserves to access u.

God has a weird way of showing love... He teaches detachment before giving u what u want. If detachment happens... Just ask for forgiveness, genuinely mean it and change ur ways.

Clear, respectful and straightforward communication without involving any 3rd party / outsider... Will avoid any / every conflict / misunderstanding. It is the only way to start / maintain a healthy relationship.

When u feel off about some situation or person.. ur body will warn u.. through tummy aches or shivers...etc.,.. listen to ur body. Ur body is intuitive about energies & happenings.

Animals have the power to heal u.. just feed them and love them.

Always use sunscreen.. purchase only the best quality sunscreen.

Don't tell ur plans to anyone. Not everyone is a supporter. There are people who are mentally fucked up enough to devote themselves to ruining ur plans.

Money spent on learning something or experiencing something or eating something is never wasted.

Enemies >>>>>> than friends who r secretly ur haters. As soon as u detect ur secret hater.. cut them from ur life(*aggressively*).

To those without a parent (passed away) or with an absent parent: Don't search for ur mom or ur dad in a romantic relationship. Not only will u be disappointed af... A partner can never replace ur parent. It's common sense - Parent and partner r 2 separate people.

Don't worry about someone that treated u like an option or Plan - B (been there.. it hurts like hell).. TBH.. by letting go of those who didn't / don't value u.. u r clearing the path to find someone who will prioritize u. Be patient and be positive.

[cj-marj]

How to express a cute brotherly relationship between two grown men? :3

[emblazons]

I would personally like to thank all the gen x and elder millennials who allowed me to be the “kid” in all of my favorite fandom spaces 15+ years ago because lord knows if I was anything like the youth in some of my newer fandoms I should have been blocked by at least 2/3 of my faves

[girlbob-boypants]

Morrigan wtf is your skincare routine.

[armoralor]

my favourite irony of the current shipping discussion is the folks who allege WolfWren enjoyers sent “threats” to people who enjoy cishet ships (I have asked for ANY examples or usernames of anyone doing this multiple times), have also been calling for Filoni to suffer & die if he doesn’t make their ship canon. but don’t forget, it’s definitely the sapphics and queers who like WolfWren that are the problem

[nerdyfangirlingbooks]

Every now and then I remember the times I would mention to my flatmate that I was thinking of buying myself something reasonably expensive (that I had been eyeing up for months and had budgeted for) and she'd tell me that I shouldn't spend that much money on something I didn't need and it would be stupid etc etc while she regularly impulse bought things that cost at least as much and she would use once (while complaining that she was under a lot of financial stress and couldn't afford <$3/week for 2 months for a rental washing machine when ours broke). She is... perhaps not my first call for financial advice

[bonbongiveshell]

You have to let old people pass on their wisdom to you, it's good enrichment for them

[giantkillerjack]

It's important to play a "LEVEL UP!" sound effect in your head whenever you get better at a skill because the world is flawed and so this does not happen automatically.

Often, in this life, we must provide our own sound effects.

[emmafallsinlove]

i love when my friends gives me specific nicknames.

[t-a-r-y-n]

so like a huge life/career thing happened yesterday. im struggling with feeling like I’m deserving of certain opportunities. I work hard but i still struggle to see what other people see…

anyways im girlbossing close to the sun. im just scared I’ll get to close and burn.

[victormcdicktor]

While you're here, no matter what you've answered I am offering you the opportunity to do even more.

Ahmed is six years old; he and his family are currently fighting to survive the genocide in Ghazzah, and have been for over a year now.

Much of Ahmed's family is disabled; his father is diabetic, his brother Abdullah is autistic, his brother Fathi is blind. On top of that, many of them have been injured by the bombs and shrapnel, like Mohammed, who is suffering from an injured leg.

They were displaced from their home by an evacuation order, and have since taken shelter in a UN school in Deir Al-Balah.

Life is incredibly difficult; they are surrounded by disease and death. The water that's available is contaminated, and food is scarce. Ahmed and his siblings have suffered malnutrition due to how little there is to go around. Ahmed's father lost his shop and no longer has a source of income as a result, making securing resources even more difficult than it would be anyways.

This description, in all honestly, doesn't do justice to just how horrific their situation is. Please do not grow numb to words like "contamination", "disease", "malnutrition", and "genocide". These are more than words on a screen; these are real things being suffered by Ahmed and his family as well as millions of others in Ghazzah.

In order to help them to evacuate and rebuild their lives, they need to raise €50,000. So far, they've only raised €3,847 with their last donation being 17 hours ago.

Please donate if you can; and even if you cannot donate, please share. Every contribution, no matter how small to you, makes a real difference.

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[divinefem333]

5 THINGS I'D TELL MY YOUNGER SELF #innerworkings #5things #lifetipsforyo...

[neil-gaiman]

I hope this finds you well. Today is the 10th anniversary of my sister's death. She died unexpectedly when she was 20, and I was 13. My sister was so full of energy and compassion for others. She befriended probably well over a hundred people, and knew each of them by name. She taught me something that I think is demonstrated really well in Coraline (and reading it reminded me of her)--that courage is not fearlessness, but it's being afraid and standing up to that fear regardless. Off and on since she died (though more on than off in the past 5ish years), I've struggled with depression and a feeling of pointlessness in my life. The realization that someone that vibrant can suddenly vanish off the Earth has never left me. And I don't shine nearly as bright as she did. It feels like no matter what I do, I'll never leave a significant impact. I've had a lot of difficulty with college, and I'm on my second leave of absence since starting my undergraduate studies. I don't really have any career goals and have had trouble finding a career path that would be interesting and fulfilling enough to me to feel like I could stick with it long enough to make a living. But I've been doing everything I can to keep going and keep trying to get to a more stable place emotionally. To finally find my footing. Every night before I turn in I like to look at your posts on here. I find the words and advice you give to others very comforting. So, I'd first like to thank you for sharing your kindness and humor with everyone. And I'd also like to ask if you'd have any kind words or advice for me. Thanks for your time.

The main thing you should probably remember is that from the inside your sister didn't realise how bright and sparkling and energetic and compassionate she was either. We know ourselves from the inside, see only too well our pain and clumsiness, our depressions and our failures.

She was a light for you. You'd be surprised to find that you are a light for others. You shine. (Whoever you are reading this, I promise you this: you shine, and you will leave your own impact on the world.)

[unknownteapot]

every time i look at shayne's story i start crying again because this guy. this fucking guy who thought his career was over in his 20s. who joined smosh as a 'last resort', as a defeat of sorts as he mentioned many times. this guy. who met. his coworker at thE FUCKING AUDITION. WHO SAID SEE U AT WORK. AND THEN HE SAW THEM AT WORK. AND THEN THEY WERE SHIPPED. ANd they never dated, never realised they had something, probably due to all the pressure. later shayne mentions 'investing into his friendships' more than relationships as advice for finding the one. she mentions when he made her a care package when they were sick, and it proabably didn't occur to them for a while until shit slowed down during the pandemic, until there were less eyes on everyone. this guy who mentions being bad at dating. these guys who made a whole show about being 'bad at dating'. this guy who didn't know what to expect at smosh but made it spark up again, who helped shape it and make it what it is though hard work and immense dedication, mET THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE AT SMOSH. NO. HE MADE SMOSH WHAT IT IS WITH HER. THE PILLARS OF SMOSH. AND THIS GUY. IS NOW. FUCKING MARRIED TO THEM?? THEY'RE MARRIED???? WHAT THE FUCK

[demilypyro]

My father chases ghosts.

In a moment of uncharacteristic boldness, I once questioned my father on why he treated me with such cold detachment. Why his advice only ever seemed to come in the form of lecturing, and why he never hugged me, or even said he was proud of me. His words in that moment caused the small amount of respect I had for him to shake. He told me that he saw it as the mother's role to love a child, and that it was the father's role to keep the child on the straight and narrow. After some contemplation, I decided in that moment that I disliked him, not just as a parent, but as a person.

My father doesn't have a father. He was the product of an out-of-wedlock pregnancy between an interracial couple in the 60s... My grandmother was never willing to speak about what happened to my grandfather. I can only imagine he didn't stick around long, since my father never knew him, and grew up with only his mother. And it's always been clear to me that this bothered him. The man idolizes masculinity. Maybe desperate for a father figure, he found role models in his grandfather, whose portrait still hangs in his house and which he treats with great care, and his stepfather, whose surname he took (discarding his mother's last name) and passed on to me. Supposedly, his stepfather left his mother in a matter of years, so why my father idolizes him so, I don't understand. I've never met the man.

Perhaps similarly, my father left his mother's care the second he turned 18. Having lived with my grandmother for some years when I was in college, I can honestly understand why. She is prone to smothering the people she loves. In light of that experience, it maybe becomes easier to understand why my father would prefer a more distant form of parenting. Still, I don't agree with his philosophy on gender roles.

Some years after I transitioned, I had a conversation with my father that stuck with me. He said that he actually saw himself as rather unmasculine, a possibility that had never once occurred to me. With that in mind, I suppose he is somewhat short, and not especially muscular. He told me he had always felt insecure about it. But, unlike me, he had never once considered abandoning the pursuit of masculinity entirely. Rather, in his own words, he felt he needed to chase it even harder. To live up to the image he'd set for himself. The ghost of masculinity.

A lot became clear to me in that moment. My father is obsessed with chasing ghosts of how he thinks things Should Be. My mother once told me how he had this "plan" for where he wanted to be in life at each age. He wanted to live on his own by 20. He wanted to be married by 30. He wanted children by 40. When he found out my mother was pregnant, he married her as fast as he could. My mother didn't really care, but he said they HAD to be married before the baby was born. Things had to go in the right order. According to him, that was just how things Should Be.

He was chasing the ghost of the perfect nuclear family that was denied him.

They divorced when I was eight.

In light of all this, it becomes very clear why he acted the way he did when I was younger. I wasn't how his child Should Be. No matter how many things I was diagnosed with, he never bothered looking into what neurodivergency was, or how to deal with it, and simply held me to the standards of a neurotypical child. My mother tells me that when I was six, he yelled at me in a store for wanting to try on a dress. His child being autistic was something to be ignored until it went away. His child being transgender? Forget it.

In recent years, I think my father has started giving up on me. In a good way. Seeing me become happier as my transition progresses seems to have finally convinced him that he doesn't understand what's best for me, at least somewhat. I speak to him maybe once a month. But I often mourn the idea of a father I could've been closer to. A father with whom I could have had a relationship of love, and support. A father I never had.

Maybe I'm chasing a ghost too.