#lies girls believe and the truth that sets them free

[thetinytreesleft]

i hate nancy demoss wolgemuth as much as she hates any women who doesn't hate herself

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

Honey Girl. Chapter Ten.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Eleven. Series Masterlist. The Playlist.

Chapter Synopsis - The two of you have some time to yourselves for what feels like the first time in forever.

Pairing - Dadsbestfriend!Bucky Barnes x female reader - soulmate au

Warnings - smut. cursing. mention of a panic attack. initial hospital setting. one alcohol mention.

Word Count - 4k

Authors Note - 10!! 10 whole chapters!! can you believe it!! pancake recipe taken from mr carlos sainz - thanks carlito <3. double date next chapter (with protective/jealous bucky, as requested ;)). and the much awaited conversation… coming very soon. thanks for the love and support and kindness. it means the world, always <3

as always, if you enjoyed this, please consider reblogging!! reblogs are the only way to circulate my writing, which generates more of it. feel free to send me a comment or an inbox, too!! thanks, my loves!! <3

Masterlist. Inbox.

“Before I came down to find you, your Mom raised a question with me.”

“… which was?”

He takes a deep breath. Exhales it shakily.

“She asked me how long you and I have been soulmates.”

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

“We can’t sit out here forever, honey.”

You stretch out your legs from where they’ve been tucked up against your chest, chin resting on your knees. Bucky places a hand on your thigh, thumb rubbing gentle circles.

“We can.”

He chuckles, pressing a kiss into the top of your head.

“I know it’s scary, but we can’t run from this any longer. We’re just going to have to face it head on.”

“I know,” you sigh, taking his hand in yours. “I’m just…”

You trail off, leaving words unspoken in the air like particles of dust in the sunlight.

“What are you so afraid of? Is it that they won’t support us? Honey girl, they aren’t gonna have much of a choice. We are literally soulmates.”

You’re trying to find a way to explain, but none of your thoughts are coherent enough to articulate into something comprehensible.

“I don’t know, Buck. At first, I think it was that. But now? Maybe I just feel guilty that we’ve kept something so huge a secret for so long. I used to tell my parents everything - by choice. That’s how we’ve always been. And suddenly, the biggest event of my life happens, and I… didn’t tell them?”

“You’re letting this guilt eat you alive, baby. Listen, I feel it too. You’re not alone in this. Do you know how many times your parents have asked me about dating in these last eighteen months? How many times we’ve talked about soulmates? And I guess I never lied… but I haven’t exactly told the truth. I’m just as guilty as you think you are.”

“I’m sorry,” you confess, resting your head against his broad shoulder. “I’ve had such tunnel vision with this whole situation. I’ve been selfish. I should have thought about you more.”

“You haven’t had to.”

“Hmm?”

“You’ve got nothing to apologise for, honey baby. You’ve never had to ‘think about me more’, because you’ve known how I felt this whole time. In here.”

He places a hand over your heart. You close your eyes, letting the warmth from his palm bleed into your chest. The weight of it grounds you back down to Earth, tethered to your soulmate in more ways than one.

“That’s the beauty of it,” he continues. “You don’t have to guess how I’m feeling, or when I’m feeling it - because I’m always telling you. And you’re always listening.”

“I don’t deserve you,” you whisper, squeezing his hand where it’s still linked with yours.

“The Universe disagrees,” he whispers back, leaning in to kiss the spot underneath your ear. “I disagree.”

It’s all so tender, so gentle, so real, that a lump in your throat forms instantly. You blink rapidly, fighting back tears as you press your side into his. If you could sew yourself into his ribcage and live there forever, resting your head on his beating heart, you would.

“Come on,” he coaxes carefully, pulling you to your feet and watching to see if you’re steady enough. “Let’s do this thing.”

You stare up at him, lost in those ocean blue irises. For a moment, you swear you see the waves moving in them, crashing against the shore in a motion so comforting, it reminds you of home.

“I love you.”

Bucky smiles at you, pupils dilating and heart beating that little bit faster. He’ll never get sick of hearing those words.

“I love you more than all the stars in the sky, honey girl. More than anything.”

Tangling your fingers with his, you inhale deeply before taking the first step forwards, towards the front doors of the hospital.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

When you reach your Dad’s room, you drop Bucky’s hand as if by instinct. When he links your fingers once more, you panic momentarily, before realising it’s futile.

They already know. There’s no point in hiding it anymore.

You walk through the door hand in hand, pressed into each others sides as if it’ll keep you standing upright. Maybe it will.

Your Mom instantly bolts out of her chair, coming over to assess you. She looks you up and down, cradling your face in her hands as she checks you over.

“You were gone a long time, sweetheart. You okay? Have you been crying?”

Bucky lets go of you to give you some space, but doesn’t go too far. You can still feel his warmth from behind you as you watch your Mom’s eyebrows furrow with worry.

“I had… I think it was, um… like a - a panic attack, or something. I don’t know. I just got overwhelmed.”

Your voice sounds so small again, so fragile. You mentally chastise yourself for not being stronger for her.

“Oh, honey.”

She pulls you into her chest, stroking your hair just like she did when you were a child and had a nightmare. You’d run across the hall and into your parents room - your Mom would always bolt upright when she heard little feet on the wooden floors, waiting for you with open arms.

“Your Dad is gonna be fine. I promise you, the Doctors have said he’ll make a full recovery.”

“It’s true.”

The voice is croaky and rusted from misuse, but it unmistakably belongs to the man lying in the hospital bed.

You make your way over and sit down carefully, cautious and calculated. Your Dad takes your hand, stroking his thumb across your skin.

“I’m gonna be just fine, kid. I know I scared you, and I’m really sorry. But I’m okay. Promise.”

You smile at him, genuinely this time, before leaning in to press a quick kiss to his cheek.

“You guys should go home.”

“What?”

“You heard me. Go home, get some rest. The two of you look almost as exhausted as Lori does.”

Your Mom laughs, shaking her head. You chuckle, watching them. There’s no one funnier than your soulmate.

“I think we should stay a little longer, Jack.”

Bucky’s voice has all three of your heads whipping around to face him.

“Buck, please be on my side here. You’re tired. Go home, sleep it off. All I’m gonna do for the next twenty four hours is sleep anyway. There’s no point in you sitting here watching me like a bunch of creeps.”

You chew your bottom lip, watching your Dad’s face carefully.

“Mom, Dad - we need to talk about-”

“I know, babygirl,” your Dad interrupts. “And we will. But not here, and not now. We’ll do it when I’m home. We can all sit on the couch and drink your Mom’s cherry lemonade and talk about how you and Bucky have been soulmates this entire time.”

“Not this entire time,” you grumble at his attempt at a joke.

“Seriously, you two. I won’t ask again. Go. Home.”

You look at your Dad for a moment, before averting your gaze to your Mom. They’re both wearing the exact same facial expression - the one they used to give you when you’d refuse your bedtime as a six year old on a school night.

“Come on, honey. You heard them. We’re practically dead on our feet.”

You rise from the bed reluctantly, pressing another kiss to your Dad’s cheek before doing the same to your Mom.

“Call me if anything changes, or if you need anything. I mean anything, you guys.”

They both nod as your Dad does a mock salute, laughing at himself.

Bucky extends his hand out for you. This time, you don’t hesitate to take it. You hold it tightly all the way back to his truck, and then all the way back home.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

You and Bucky get ready for bed in silence, both of you flitting around your apartment as quickly as possible. You can’t wait to finally get under your duvet and lose the stress of the last twenty four hours.

The minute your head hits the pillow, you’re wide awake.

The exhaustion has seeped into your bones, making you weary but restless. You can’t settle, physically or mentally.

Bucky, on the other hand, is out like a light.

He looks so peaceful like this. The moonlight soaks through a gap in the curtains, illuminating his face like some sort of angel. His hair is a little longer than usual, stubble growing out across his sharp jawline. He looks rugged, a little rough around the edges. He’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.

As if he can feel your gaze on him, he cracks an eye open, blinking to adjust to the dimly lit room. He has a pillow crease across his skin, cheek flushed pink with a dusty blush.

“You okay, baby?”

His voice is hoarse and all sleep heavy, rumbling through you like gentle summer thunder.

“Can’t sleep,” you whisper, trying to fight back tears. “I’m so tired, Buck. So fucking tired.”

“But you can’t sleep?”

He pulls you into his chest, tucking your head into the crook of his neck and stroking your hair soothingly.

“It’s like my body is exhausted, but my brain is wide awake,” you mumble into his bare skin. “Doesn’t make sense.”

“Nothing makes sense,” he chuckles lowly. “Nothing in this goddamn world makes sense. Except for me and you.”

Bucky spins you in his arms so your back is to his chest, bodies pressed together without an inch of space between you. Pressing a kiss into your neck, he starts mumbling.

“You just need to turn your brain off, baby. I know it’s easier said than done… so I’m gonna help you. All you need to do is focus on my voice, on my touch. Focus your attention on my hands on you, my lips on your skin. The heat of my body against yours.”

He skims his fingers down your side, gripping at your hips to ground you. He’s still kissing your neck, nipping occasionally to vary the sensation. He slips a hand down your front, cupping you over your underwear as you close your eyes, breathing him in. He smells like salt water and sea air and gasoline and home.

You cant your hips into his touch, trying to get him where you want him. Bucky takes the hint, slipping his hand into your panties and running a finger through your wetness. You groan, throwing your head back into his solid shoulder.

“Just switch off, honey baby. Give in to me.”

Bucky glides a finger into you, crooking it towards him. His palm hits your clit and you keen, whining all high pitched and breathy. His hips buck into your backside at the sound, and he chuckles.

“Fuck, you sound so sweet. Sweetest girl in the world.”

He adds another finger, using his thumb to circle your clit in precise, firm motions. You’re writhing against the mattress like a serpent, unable to stay still as Bucky takes you apart.

“Come for me, baby. Can feel you squeezin’ my fingers. That’s it, atta girl… ride my hand, take what you need. Wanna hear how pretty you sound when you come.”

Your entire body tightens up as you reach your climax, back arching away from Bucky as he continues to curl his fingers. He pulls you close, anchors you to him as you moan and shudder.

Your head is empty, besides the thought of your soulmate. All you can think about is Bucky.

Bucky Bucky Bucky Bucky Bucky.

You take a stuttered inhale as you try to catch your breath, beads of sweat dripping down your back.

“You okay?”

He’s muttering into your shoulder, mouth never leaving your skin. You nod, linking your fingers with his where they rest on your waist.

“You didn’t come,” you whisper, leaning your head back into Bucky.

He kisses your cheek, chuckling lowly.

“This wasn’t about me,” he reassures. “It’s all about you, baby. Always is.”

The two of you breathe together for a little while, allowing you to come down from your high. Eventually, Bucky taps your thigh, nudging you up.

“Come on, honey. Get up and use the bathroom, and then we’ll sleep for the next week.”

You do as he says, crawling back into bed with limbs that feel like jelly.

“How you feelin’?” he asks as he pulls you into his side, resting your head on his chest.

“Fucking fantastic.”

He laughs and you can’t help but laugh too, as if by reflex.

“Yeah? No more racing thoughts in that pretty head of yours?”

“None. All I can think about is how much I want to sleep right now.”

Pressing a kiss onto the top of your head, Bucky tightens his arms around you.

“Then sleep, baby.”

You snuggle into your soulmates side, relaxing into the mattress.

“I love you,” you mumble into his skin.

“I love you,” he murmurs back. “Sweet dreams, honey girl.”

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

When you wake, you can’t tell if you’ve slept for five minutes or five days.

The sheets are crumpled, linen strewn across the bed as the pillows sit completely unmoved at the headboard. Sunlight filters in through the curtains, warming your skin that’s exposed to the sea soaked breeze.

You reach over to the other side of the mattress, seeking Bucky’s warmth. You’re met with empty space, and the sound of a throat clearing on the other side of the room.

The man in question is leaning against the doorframe, shirtless and sun kissed. His boxers are hugging his thighs just right, and you repress the urge to crawl over and sink your teeth into the muscle. Later.

“Morning or afternoon?” You croak out, watching as he softly smiles at your sleep addled voice.

“Morning. Eleven twenty four.”

You stretch your arms above your head, unaware of the way Bucky’s eyes are glued to your bare stomach.

“You want breakfast, or have you eaten?”

“Haven’t eaten yet. Was waiting for you.”

You slide down to the end of the bed where Bucky meets you, leaning down to press a minty kiss to your lips.

“Have you been awake long?”

He shakes his head, stealing another kiss.

“Ten minutes or so.”

“How’d you sleep?”

He moves some hair away from your face gently, the morning affection making you light up inside.

“Like a baby. Don’t think I moved once.”

You laugh, running your fingers over his bare shoulders.

“I can’t remember the last time I slept like that.”

“Me neither. I think we need to start prioritising sleep a little more.”

“It’s just… so hard,” you murmur, rising onto your knees on the bed so you’re face to face. “I don’t ever want to sleep when I have the most handsome man alive in my bed. I can think of many other things I’d rather be doing.”

He groans, chuckling lowly.

“Watch it,” he warns. “Or I’ll keep you in this bed all day. Won’t let you leave.”

“Is that a threat or a promise, Barnes?”

He football tackles you suddenly, both of you falling backwards into the plush sheets. You squeal, caught off guard as his hands squeeze your sides firmly.

“Keep running your mouth and see what happens, angel.”

You card your fingers through his hair, tugging slightly to get a reaction. When his eyes flutter closed, you breathe out a laugh.

“I’m so scared,” you tease, peppering his face with gentle kisses. “Like, quaking in my boots.”

He goes to retort, but is interrupted by the deafening sound of your stomach rumbling.

“If we weren’t about to get noise complaints from the neighbours about that hunger of yours, I would absolutely continue this. But…”

“We need to eat.”

“Yes, we do.”

You peck his cheek before jumping off the bed, stretching as you make your way to the kitchen. Bucky follows you eagerly. Of course he does.

You click the coffee maker on as you spin to face him where he’s leaning against the counter.

“I’m about to make you the best pancakes you’ll eat in your entire life, James.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. Watch and learn, baby.”

When he doesn’t move, you walk him backwards, pulling out the bar stool from underneath the island.

“You just sit there and look pretty.”

He shakes his head with a smirk as you wink, turning on the stove and grabbing your bowls and utensils. He didn’t ask for a cooking lesson, but you’re about to give him one.

“The trick is to separate the egg whites from the yolks, and whip them. When they’re fluffy, you fold them into your mixture, and it makes the pancakes light and airy and gorgeous. Then you add honey, for extra sweetness.”

He watches you flit around the kitchen as if you’re the sun, bright and warm and radiant. He can’t take his eyes off you for a second. He couldn’t if he wanted to.

Bucky’s blinking back tears, suddenly, as you sway your hips while flipping the pancakes at the stove. He wants to drop to his knees, yell out to a higher power and ask what the hell he did to deserve someone like you. He’ll beg, if he has to, for someone, something, to make sure that he finds you in every universe, in every version of this crazy life.

“I love you,” you beam at him, as if you’ve read his mind. “I love you more than anything.”

Your grin is so blinding, so utterly brilliant that the entire room lights up with it. Your own form of electricity.

“I… I-”

“I know, Buck.”

It gets like this, sometimes. Too overwhelming to put into words. To love someone more than anything, anyone - a love that knows no bounds - is completely indescribable.

So he doesn’t even try. He just nods at you, watching as your eyes light up at the sight of him.

“Will you pour us some coffee while I put these on a plate?”

“Anything you need,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your hair as he squeezes past you to grab the mugs. “Always.”

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

You settle down to eat on the balcony, letting the midday sun warm you both up.

“I brought syrup, but, I also brought this.”

You hold out a plastic tub that contains a dark pink mixture, popping the lid off.

“Try it.”

Bucky sticks his little finger in, putting it in his mouth and sighing in contentment at the taste that coats his tongue.

“Good?”

“So good. What is it?”

“My homemade raspberry and lemon coulis. I make it to go on top of pancakes and waffles - it beats maple syrup any day.”

“You’re a genius.”

“So it’s been said,” you laugh, pouring it over your plate. “Now eat before they go cold.”

“Yes ma’am.”

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

“You weren’t lying,” he says when he’s finished. “They were the best pancakes I’ve ever eaten.”

You laugh, sliding across to press your side into his.

“There’s a lot more where that came from. I have so many recipes I want you to try.”

“God, I’m so lucky. I have the most perfect soulmate in the world, and she’s a baker. What did I do to deserve you, hmm?”

You lean in to kiss him gently, licking across his lips. He tastes like raspberries and sugar and eight hours of sleep.

You’re sat in comfortable silence when your phone rings, startling you both.

“Hello?”

“Babe?”

“Lacie?”

“Hey!”

“Hi!”

You smile instantly, and Bucky does too, by default.

“Your Mom called me and told me about your Dad. She’s been keeping me updated over text. How are you guys holding up?”

“We’re good, honestly. It was a little touch and go at first, but now… we’re okay. All of us.”

“Good. I love you guys.”

“Love you too. So much.”

She sighs all deep and wistful, and you can’t help but chuckle.

“What’s up, Lace?”

“Well… I’m calling with a proposition. And I feel like you’re gonna say no, but your Mom already told me that I had to force you to do it, so.”

“Oh, God.”

“Come on a double date with me and Cameron tonight. Come for dinner and drinks with us.”

You take a deep breath, looking over at Bucky. He nods in agreement, encouraging you.

“Okay.”

“Yeah?”

Her surprise is undeniable, the octave of her voice rising ever higher.

“Yeah. I haven’t seen you in too long, and it’ll be good for me to meet Cameron, finally. Plus, we’re visiting my Dad this afternoon, so we have a free evening.”

“Oh my God, I am so excited! Okay, I’ll text you the address of where we’re eating. Cam knows so much about you already, he can’t wait to meet you. And I can’t wait to meet Bucky… again? I mean I’ve met him before, but not as your soulmate.”

“Yeah,” you giggle. “It’ll be good for everyone to get… reacquainted.”

“Exactly!”

“Alright, Lace. We’ve gotta get ready to visit my Dad, but I’ll see you later?”

“See you later, babe. I am so excited. See you then!”

She puts the phone down, and you can almost picture the cloud of perfume and pressed powder that’s about to rain down on her bedroom. You wish you were there to watch it happen, like old times.

“Our first double date, huh?”

“It’ll be our last if you don’t behave,” you tease, leaning in to peck Bucky’s lips.

“Don’t tempt me.”

You laugh into his mouth, running your fingers through the ends of his hair at the back of his neck. It’s the longest you’ve seen it, and it’s starting to curl all cute and soft and wispy.

“Come on. Let’s go see my Dad, and then spend hours mentally preparing ourselves for Storm Lacie.”

“I always liked her. Seemed good for you.”

“She is. She’s the best.”

Bucky wraps a strong arm around your shoulder as you swing your legs over his lap, burying yourself in his bare chest.

“You nervous?” he asks into your temple.

“A little, weirdly. Meeting each others soulmate is the kind of thing we’d talk about when we were kids. And now we’re doing it.”

“We can handle it,” he reassures, his thumb rubbing patterns into your arm. “We can handle anything, you and I.”

“Anything?”

“Anything, honey girl. Anything.”

tag list part one

@lillytracy6996 @securegorgon @roostersforevergirl @povlvr @val-writesstuff @dreadfulxives18 @1deadpool26 @abbygraceasd @nyutasgirl @mavrellover91 @winterslove1917 @f-this42 @skewedcherries @noisesinthedark @kandis-mom @black-cat-2 @harrystylesandthegoobs @vladsgirlxx @h0nestly-though @arienotari @nash-dara @wandaneedstherapy @galaxy-dusk @justherefortheficandsmut @cremebruleequeen @cjand10 @buggy14 @avengers-fixation @blueberrybambi @beautiful-loserr @sarah1barnes @miss-rebel-without-applause @ragingrainbowshipl @shamrockqueen @savemeroman @jenn-f @8crazy-freak8 @daddyjackfrost @openup-yourmind @adangerousbalance @mandijo17 @daddylorianisastateofmind @rcarbo1 @casa-boiardi @spideegwen @navs-bhat @mssbridgerton @asuni921 @middle-of-the-earth @mfrnchsk

[swallowedbyfandom]

Lay down your dreams

After she speaks with her mama she decides she knows exactly what to do. It is time to stop hiding she is so very tired of making herself smaller to be more palpable for the society. She is tired of people claiming to love her but never allowing her to speak. She is tired of allowing Colin to blame her for his own blindness. He was her most frequent correspondent, he could have figured it out if he ever bothered to think on it.

She looks at her once vibrant mother. She remembers thinking as a girl that her mama was the most beautiful Lady. Now her mama is worn too thin. Her fierce mother has lied, cheated, and literally stolen to support their family. Her tasteless, tacky mama is a survivor. So is she. Penelope respects that, is proud of it.

Dash it all. She is Penelope Featherington, The Lady Whistledown, that is a better legacy than being Penelope Bridgerton, the unheard wife of a third son. In a way she wants to thank him for being so stupidly hurtful she has finally had enough. She was willing to give up Whistledown for him. She did give up her only source of power for him however temporarily it was.

He however didnot even set down his hurt long enough to have a discussion with her. He claimed she entrapped him, when he was the one who ruined her prospects. She wishes to all that is holy that they had never been intimate. He was not worthy of her virtue. She has never needed Colin's conditional honor. The final straw was when he ignored her opinion on Cressida Cowper.

She heads back to Bloomsbury to gather her belongings. She has Rae and some of the Featherington staff pack her trunks and load them on the carriage before heading back to Featherington House. She hands Varley enough to make the Finch/Dankworth Ball the most elegant and gaudy ball Mayfair has ever seen. She wants her sisters and her mother to have a magical night that reflects the loud vibrant women they are.

She settles into her childhood room, to set her schemes into motion. She writes a letter for Violet explaining everything she wished to explain. The beginning, the middle, and this bittersweet end. She includes her engagement and wedding band. She shall have the letter delivered the afternoon of the ball. Let Colin deal with his mother's disappointment. Violet she knows will understand her reasons better than most.

Their ball is a victory for the ladies of her house. Widowed, married, and newly single alike. Colin of course comes to her after the Queen's judgement with his heart in hand. He finally sees her. He is beautiful, earnest and as always, he is a day late and a shilling short. She takes his hands in hers and tells him she had their marriage annulled on the grounds of fraud and lack of consummation.

He tries to protest but she will not have it. She drops his hands and speaks her truth.

"You had your chance to fix things, Colin. You turned your back on me. All your claims of love, devotion, and protection were empty. Our marriage was a farce. You never allowed me the dignity of explaining myself. You ran. You always run, Colin."

She cries silently while she continues. It will always hurt she thinks. The loss of this beautiful dream she no longer believes in. Colin has shattered her heart and her faith in him for the last time. Love is not always enough.

"I asked my mama how one knows if they are with child and she explained it to me. I started my courses two days ago and I have no symptoms. I can safely conclude I am not with child. You can no longer claim I have entrapped you. The annulment has been signed, sealed, and filed already. I have returned the rings to your mother and removed my belongings from your home."

"I wish you well, Mr. Bridgerton. Good bye."

She leaves him standing there.

She is as free as a woman in society can be. She is not yet comfortable with the attention and the problems she will face being Whistledown publicly but her mama will not be implicated in theft. The solicitor will believe the inheritance to be Whistledown income. It is not too far from the truth anyway. She has been discreetly paying down her papa's debt for years. Her family will endure. She will head to the country with her mama next week. She thinks she will write a book as her next endeavor.

Perhaps the Queen would be open to sharing her love story. It cannot hurt to ask.

[godsdaughter3]

Yap Session 2: Spiritual Warfare/Demonic Attacks.

!!!I AM NOT TRYING TO FORCE ANYTHING ONTO YOU PLEASE SCROLL IF YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE!!!

I, like all Christian's have gone through Spiritual Warfare. It's hard to identify Spiritual Warfare but once you do, you know how to fight it, by using the Armour of God. If you don't know what that is I got you. I am not a pastor, just a girl who loves the Lord and wants to help others by telling them what I know.

Belt of truth: Sets the believer apart from the world and protects them from lies 

Breastplate of righteousness: Protects the heart from Satan's accusations

Shoes of the gospel of peace: Allows believers to share God with others and to know that God loves them 

Shield of faith: Protects believers from the devil's attacks 

Helmet of salvation: Protects the mind from the devil's doubt 

Sword of the Spirit: The Word of God, which believers can use to fight off the devil and his temptations (Ephesians 6:14-17)

My church had a youth service on 10/5/24 man, I tell you the Holy Spirit MOVED. My friend (a fellow youth member) preached about the full armour of God. His explanation of it really opened my eyes and helped me realize that the reason that the devil attacks me so much is because I don't have the full armour of God on, and the devil knows that I am destined for great things through Christ and he was going to stop that in any way that he can.

Spiritual warfare is exhausting especially when you don't know it's happening. When I was going through spiritual warfare I felt drained, I didn't want to get out of bed, I was tired, unable to focus on schoolwork, sleeping through church, overthinking, panic attacks, crying for no reason and so much more. One thing that I remember specifically was that the devil was using to bring me back down is music. I love music, when I was in the world I was hooked to sexual music such as, The Weeknd, Chase Atlantic, Plvtinum, Billie Eilish, and much, much more. The devil was trying to tell me that I needed to listen to them 'only for the melody' no, cause if I listened to their music, I would've payed attention to the lyrics and fallen into sexual temptation. Music has power over you, your mind, your soul. So, I replaced them with Christian artists that I absolutely love. (If you want I'll send you a list of Christian arstists that you should try out, just send me a dm ♡). Now I'm going to tell you what I used to help me get through the spiritual attack in just five steps. Step one: Identify the lie.

Genesis 3:2-4 "The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, 3but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’ ” “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman." This verse is talking about Eve, Eve was under a spiritual attack from the lie that the serpent (the devil) gave her, that's why she ate the fruit. Then there was the fall of humanity.

Now in John 8:31-32 says, "To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (Words in red because it was Jesus speaking). Lies, lead to bondage. For example, let's take someone who's addicted to porn. Porn would be the fruit, the lie could be, 'I'm lonely and unloved, so I need a false excerpt of what love is'. This is just an example, I'm not saying that if someone is addicted to porn they're demon possessed, no. When you do this, keep in mind that the lie could be hidden, so take your time. One quote that I love says, "The strongholds in our lives are the lies we believe."

Step two: Repent from the lie.

Psalm 51:7-12 "Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me." This is a prayer that King David prayed to God after he slept with Batsheba and killed her husband. See, David just commited adultery and murder. Two things that God hates, now he was asking God to make him white as snow. And guess what? God will always do that. Now that doesn't mean, sin whenever repent later, it doesn't work like that. You need to feel conviction and genuine regret.

Step three: Stand against the lie. Ephesians 6:10-12 "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Be ready for attacks by putting on the full amour of God cause if you do, then satan cannot touch you.

James 4:7-8 "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded." Submit and run to God and He will help you.

Matthew 16:22-23 Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. “Never, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to you!” Jesus turned and said to Peter “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.” In this passage Jesus was telling His disicples about how He was going to get crucified and reserect on the 3rd day. Then Peter pulled Him aside to tell Him it was never going to happen. Essentially what Jesus was doing here was rebuking the devil for trying to stop what God had planned for Him. You can directly quote Jesus here when the devil tries to attack you.

Step four: Replace the lie with truth.

Matthew 12:43-45 “When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first. That is how it will be with this wicked generation.” Unfortunately, when you finally get free from a spiritual attack demons will come back with stronger ones so that you end up in a worse state then what you were before.

Galatians 5:16-17 "So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want." Your flesh has the power to make you do things that might not want to do, like listening to music that you're not supposed to listen too, in my case. Here are some emotions that can be replaced with fruits of the Spirit. ~Anxiety, replace it with peace. ~Depression, replace it with joy. ~Hate, replace it with love. ~ Quick temper, replace it with patience. ~Selfishness, replace it with kindness ~Evil thoughts, replace them with good ones. ~Fear, replace it with faith. ~Harshness, replace it with gentleness. ~Fleshly desires, replace it with self control. ~Shame, replace it with honor. Step five: Walk in truth. Psalm 86:11-13 "Teach me your way, Lord, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever. For great is your love toward me; you have delivered me from the depths, from the realm of the dead." The truth of God is stronger than any lie the devil wants to tell you.

Never forget to pray, remember that being a Christian in this world is single-handely the hardest thing you could ever do in this world. Remember that God set you free, you have access to freedom today because, Jesus loves you. ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

[sundrop-writes]

Sunny's Post-Hiatus Fanfiction Schedule

So, I just finished another fic (but I am still in the living hell limbo of moving and I need the distraction) - and the 'Coming Soon' section of my pinned is getting way too long. So I'm gonna keep updating this post, and I'm gonna have this linked in my pinned as the general collection of my WIPs and things I have written during the hiatus. Also there will be more updates about WIPs and discussions about what I'm working on over on @tenpintsof-sundrop. And I will link the completed fics on this post when they are done and posted.

Again, if you want to see a preview for any fic that doesn't already have one, feel free to ask. When I get back from my hiatus officially, I will be posting a poll to determine which fic will be edited in order to be posted first, so when you read over this list, think of which fic you are looking forward to most so that you can have your answer. If you want to be tagged in any of these fics when they come out, info about taglists is right here.

Heaven’s Gate - Daryl Dixon x GN!Reader. Strangers to Lovers/Lovers Reunited. Emotional Angst, Hurt and Comfort, Fluff. Set during Seasons 1-5. You and Daryl get seperated when the Prison falls, and both believe the other person to be dead. But you can't let go of the things your relationship taught you. Eventually, when you're reunited - it's like you never missed a moment apart. (17,100 words est.) - NOW POSTED

Untitled Daryl PWP - Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader. Established Relationship. Set during Season 4. Daryl gets jealous, and takes it out on you. (2,300 words est.) - NOW POSTED

Some Kind Of Disaster - Gally (TMR) x Fem!Reader. Best Friends to Lovers/Lovers Reunited. Emotional Angst, Hurt and Comfort, Smut. Set during The Death Cure. You had every reason to believe Gally was dead, so when a mysterious stranger pulls off his mask and reveals himself to be the one person you had been missing so badly - you are shocked. And then you show him just how badly you had been missing him. (6,800 words est.) - PREVIEW HERE

English Blood // American Heartache - Gally (TMR) x Fem!Reader x Newt (TMR). Established Monogamous Relationship to Polyamory. (Very slight) Emotional Angst and Smut. Set post Death Cure/Safe Haven Era. Newt Lives AU. (Sequel to the above fic.) When you get to the Safe Haven, you believe that you have everything you ever wanted, everything you ever needed. So why do you have a nagging feeling that something is missing? Turns out, that 'missing' thing was the addition of your best friend Newt to your bed, which your boyfriend Gally is more than happy to provide. (20,300 words est.)

Trouble Is - Thomas (TMR) x Fem!Reader. (Pining) Friends to Lovers. Smut/PWP. Sex Pollen. Set during The Scorch Trials. Just as the group finds safety outside of the Maze, you are separated off from everyone as the only girl, and not being able to see you slowly drives Thomas insane. Until one day, he's locked in a room with you - but there's nothing suspicious about that, right? (6,900 words est.) - PREVIEW HERE

BRAINWASHED - Stiles Stilinski x Fem!Reader. Pining Best Friends/One-Sided Fantasies. Smut/PWP. Panty Stealing. Stiles has been in love with you for as long as he can remember, and since you both hit high school, that love has become perverted by hormones. But he can't help it. He also can't seem to help it when he steals a pair of your underwear that were seemingly laid out for him - but he can't get too caught up in the logistics when he has a hand around his cock. (6,900 words est.) - NOW POSTED

Stupid For You - Stiles Stilinski x Fem!Reader. Pining Best Friends to Lovers. Smut/PWP. Sequel to the above fic. Stiles still has your underwear that he stole, and he accidentally drops them in the locker room - in front of the entire lacrosse team. He lies and says that he got them from a hook-up with you, and surprisingly - you cover for him? But only on the condition that you can turn his lie into the truth. (10,200 words est.)

Blood In The Water - Void!Stiles x Fem!Reader. (Pining) Best Friends to 'Lovers'. Pure Angst. Set during Season 3 (with flashbacks to Season 1). When Void takes control, you worry about the damage that he's inevitably doing to Stiles's body. So you make a deal with him - if he lets Stiles eat, then you'll feed Void with some of your pain. But it's not cuts or broken bones that he wants from you - it's your tears. (8,400 words est.) - FANFIC MOODBOARD HERE - NOW POSTED

Untitled Isaac Smut Blurb - Sub!Isaac Lahey x Dom!GN!Reader. Established FWB Relationship. Smut/PWP. Set during Season 2. You tell Isaac that he needs to relax, and then you show him the perfect way to do just that. (2,100 words est.)  - NOW POSTED

Freak Like Me - Dom!Lydia Martin x Sub!GN!Reader. Established FWB Relationship. Smut/PWP. Set during Season 2. Jackson may have broken up with Lydia, but his loss is absolutely your gain. (2,100 words est.)

Why Am I The One? - Isaac Lahey x Fem!Reader. Exes to Lovers. Emotional Angst, Hurt and Comfort, Smut. Set just post Season 3, Episode 4. After Issac is kicked out of Derek's apartment with no reasoning and nowhere to go, he comes through a rainstorm soaking wet and finds his way to you. Freezing, alone, and looking desperate and sad - will you turn him away after cheating on you, or will you forgive him like you always do? (13,000 words est.) - NOW POSTED

[spurgie-cousin]

ok my mom understandably had to go to bed (very late here in her time zone, and it's even an hour later in the one I'm used to) but I'm a mental masochist so I will trudge on until I can't physically watch Shiny Happy People anymore (and I'm just going to edit my comments instead of reblog bc so far there's really not a lot most of us aren't aware of):

- firstly, I knew Deanna was raised Christian but I didn't know she was raised VERY conservative Christian. Per Deanna, this is the reason Amy was allowed so much freedom; she didn't want to limit her as a female in any of the ways she was

- going off of that, I can see how that foundation would open Jim Bob up to a religion that is so insanely misogynistic

- I know it's a thing all of us who've been around a while have known, but it's all but explicitly said that the Duggar kids had any steal of rebellious beat out of them. By Michelle, regardless of what she sounds like.

- I can't help but wonder if this is the reason Michelle sticks so closely to this faith, even after all that's happened. Even as her own children have expressed how abusive their upbringing was. Leaving the ideology means admitting you were an abuser and not an educator.

- Jill felt like she lied in the Megyn Kelly interview. She didn't want to do it and said she wouldn't have without her parents urging, and she felt obligated to protect her family. She didn't want to do this interview, but didn't trust anyone else to tell the truth which, given her upbringing, I totally get.

- the interviews with other ex-IBLP kids are just as fascinating to listen to as Jill's (if not more bc a lot of them WANT to be there). Tia Levings in particular is so incredibly brave and wonderful, please follow her your preferred platform ❤️

- Mike Huckabee is an accomplice to abuse and ped*philia at best

- I know Derick can be insufferable but I promise he's worth listening to in this doc, at least so far (I'm halfway through episode 3). And he's a very serious Jill advocate, which I feel like all the Duggar girls need so badly.

- Jill didn't want anyone at her birth because SHE DIDN'T WANT TOO GO THROUGH WHAT ANNA WENT THROUGH. She agreed to a diary cam at most.

- For that work they did during their babies birth, the Dillards requested not a full paycheck, but a small health insurance renumeration fee from TLC, who asked them to do this work. TLC informed then that they had already paid all sums to Jim Bob.

- Jill has never received any amount of payment from TLC for all the time and work she had given them. Neither had Derick.

- this is probably a NO DUH for us around here, but here is a short list of IBLP/ATI approved lives of training, especially for minors who are doing work for free for other members of the organization (i believe the Bates kids are included in some of the pictures accompanyingthis part):

1. CoNSTrUCTioN!!!

2. Cosmetology (women only of course)

3. Ministry

4. Business?

5. Healthcare consultant

6. ALERT counselor

Secular college courses so not apply to accreditation in these fields

- other ex-IBLP members confirm that children were trained in construction trades and child labor was used gratuitously in the organization, for anything from repairs, to setting up conferences, to building actual buildings. And it was all, of course, free.

- ALERT confirmed as a purposeful paramilitary organization

- am ex-IBLP woman who was sent to ALERT states that they took tampons away from her, as they were a form of purity violation (she says they said she had purposefully taken her own virginity by using them).

- a woman raised in IBLP recounts a story at a conference in Oklahoma City where her roommate almost slit her throat with a knife over being a 'glutton'. Essentially, a teenage girl almost killed herself over not being thin enough to be 'godly'.

- David Green, the CEO of Hobby Lobby, is STILL IBLP's biggest donor. Don't fucking shop there!!!!

- a purposefully sanitized version of Bill Gothard's teachings have been and might still be used in elementary schools, prisons, police and military units as a way of indoctrinating those in attendance to be more open to absolute authority.

- All of the kids besides Jill & Derick might've very well signed a very lengthy contract that extends at least a decade. The Dillards didn't, and have received extreme yet Christian-flavored threats over it???

- The Dillards were using a food bank even after they asked Jim Bob for the most basic payment for their services to the show

- Jill, Derick, and others all agree tha Journey To The Heart was a vetting mechanism for Gothard's abuse victims

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

A Tale For A Mouse, part 4

Part 1, part 2, part 3

Now, back to the story at hand. I launched myself with full force at good old Dad, tackled him, and had his tender flesh between my jaws in an instant. It was the surprise that did it, I suspect. He hardly had any time to widen his eyes before I crunched down on my first kill.

I must tell you, eating family is a delicacy like no other. I have feasted upon every species known to my kind, in every manner possible, but never did I know such pleasure as when I gnawed at my progenitor's flesh. I ate him whole, eyes, hair and bone. I think I may well have consumed his soul entirely, the shriveled old thing that it was.

It gave me the strength to pull my bleeding, bruised body down to the prison, the one part of the village that was below ground. Berry was there, no worse for wear. It heartened me so, to see her grimy face light up when she saw me. I set to freeing her immediately, pulling at her chains with all the vigour of a dying boy.

But no boy's teeth and no boy's fingers can possibly pull apart a chain of enchanted steel. I had barely made a scratch in the thing when the tribunal's guards returned. They were most unamused to find me there. 

We were once again hauled away, this time to face my mother alone. She looked at my bloody mouth and the wounds across my back that were already naught more than scars, and knew that I killed my father. 

I could tell you a million lies, little mouse, about how I wept and begged for forgiveness, about the regret that tore my heart asunder, about the guilt that dogs my steps to this day. But the truth is I regretted nothing. I met my mother's gaze with pride and smiled my grimmest smile and awaited my punishment, holding my friend's hand all the while.

My mother's softness, that which had run a thousand years, ran out then. You should have seen the emotion in her eyes. First it was shock, quick as lightning, that her mate could be defeated by a runt like me. Then grief, the wheels of her mind speeding out of control, the kind that wipes away reason. Finally she landed on rage, bloody rip-out-the-roots rage, like that which the Godhuntress channelled against my people.

The worst of it was the blankness of her face. Her lips were set in a line, forehead unwrinkled. Only the glistening of her eyes betrayed her. She whipped out her blade, swift as any warrior queen, and swung it at me. 

I was wounded, weak, worthless in a fight. There was no time to jerk myself out of the way, no time to parry even if I had a weapon of my own. I watched that edge speed towards me, and with it, my death.

As I am sure you know, it never reached me. So you can stop your gawping, Rin. Are you a soldier or a washerboy, to hang on a storyteller's every word? Besides, this story is not for you. It is for my dearest mouse-guest. Enjoying the tale, mouse? I do hope you are.

I must admit— I do not know how it happened. I do not even know what exactly happened, save that my mother died and I did not. All I knew was that my dear ghost-friend reached out her hand and screamed, the very epitome of mortal foolishness, and it was over. My mother, a spirit of three hundred years and five days, keeled over. 

Anticlimactic? Life often is. I knelt over my mother, and above the disgusted retching of a girl who had never seen someone eat his mother, gulped her down too. Her flesh tasted sour, like the regret I should have felt. It tasted like the sorrows of one older than I, of one who had seen lives run their course and made mistakes a boy could not fathom. It tasted like adulthood, and I liked it not one bit.

But I came into adulthood anyway, just as we all do, and with it came a throne. A small one, of course, for the Ko clan was hardly the greatest of clans.

Why me? Well, the tribunal had seen my mother, Berry and I go into her office, and only two of us emerge, and came to the obvious conclusion.

Believe me, the tribunal was sorely unhappy with me. Fortunately, none of them were willing to argue with a boy drenched in his parents' viscera. So, in the fashion of governance rites since time immemorial, they just plopped the crown atop the slayer of their previous ruler. That is to say: Me.

Do not laugh, mouse. Not one word of it was a lie. They had to pick between me and Berry, who had the sense to deny any part in our ectoplasmic ‘festivities’. And it seems that in the battle between male and ghost, the good old bigots would rather one of the ‘lesser sex’ reign.

Taglist:

@coffeeangelinabox, @dorky-pals, @calliecwrites, @kaylinalexanderbooks, @shukei-jiwa

@thewingedbaron, @pluppsauthor, @cowboybrunch, @wylloblr, @possiblyeldritch @ramwritblr, @urnumber1star, @fortunatetragedy, @bigwipscholar, @ratedn

@vampirelover890, @possiblylisle, @illarian-rambling, @the-ellia-west

@finicky-felix, @evilgabe29, @glitched-dawn, @rivenantiqnerd, @dragonhoardesfandoms

@drchenquill, @everythingismadeofchaos, @owldwagitoutofyou, @dimitrakies, @beloveddawn-blog

@riveriafalll, @the-golden-comet, @rascaronii, @trippingpossum, @real-fragments

@xenascribbles,

(Anyone else who wants to get added can tell me in the comments, pm me, or send me an ask about it!)

[theelderhazelnut]

Music Monday Tuesday

Tagged by @thesingularityseries @inafieldofdaisies @bisexualjohnnycage @chadillacboseman @aceghosts @voidika @socially-awkward-skeleton @cassietrn @aceghosts <3 tagging you all back for the next week!

I haven’t participated in ages, but here’s a good ‘ol song which describes the end of “Rise of the Villains: The Shadow” (prequel to Darker than Black) perfectly. It speaks about the time when Atoosa (Ombra) discovers a harsh truth about the cause of the death of her parents and the protector gods especially Raiden, after being a low level servant ar the Sky Temple. That very truth is that the protector gods are involved in a cult which killed her parents and many more innocent people (in that flight incident). However, this is only a portion of the main picture. Atoosa faces a tough decision: take revenge and be free of the chains of their control forever, or linger beside Raiden, and endure the chains of being a good girl who watches her life burning in flames.

Catch me as I fall

Say you're here and it's all over now

Falkus finds me, and tells me what I need to hear. Raiden, the very man I have feelings for, is on the same side with my parents’ murderers. I don’t want to believe it, in fact, I want him to catch me and save me. I want him to say that he is here for me, and that nothing is going to go wrong, so I won’t drown in this pain.

Speaking to the atmosphere

No one's here and I fall into myself

This truth drives me into madness

Well, Raiden doesn’t do it. He’s loyal to his belief, to his mortals. No one is there to save me, and show me only a glimpse of light.

I know I can stop the pain if I will it all away

If I will it all away

There was only one way to stop this pain, and to free my rage. I can’t just sit here watch those vermins walk around and control my fate. I had enough of being a puppet to their will, and have my dreams and hope being taken from me. Yes, there is only one way and that is revenge. I have to be the one to have control over them.

Don't turn away (don't give in to the pain)

I made my decision. I was determined to join Falkus to make them all perish. But Raiden tries to stop me not because he loves me but because he is afraid of my worst.

Don't try to hide (though they're screaming your name)

I don’t want to hide anymore. But Raiden seems to want to protect us all from a known future. (Delia’s prediction about Ombra)

Don't close your eyes (God knows what lies behind them)

I am not going to neglect the reality anymore. Falkus offers me his hand, and opposing to Raiden, he is thrilled by what I am capable of.

Don't turn out the light (never sleep, never die)

And Falkus doesn’t want me to stop.

I'm frightened by what I see

But somehow I know that there's much more to come

Killing each and every one of those cultists is undoubtedly a scary set of flights, and once I take the first step, there will be no turning back. But it will quench my rage, and help me feel better; perhaps even the world.

Immobilized by my fear

And soon to be blinded by tears

However, something called fear is always there. I am willingly choosing to be the bad guy. I am crossing the moral codes my parents carved into the back of my mind. If I take Falkus’s hand and leave everything behind, I will become the exact kid my larents would despise. They wouldn’t want someone as pathetic as me to be their child.

Fallen angels at my feet

Whispered voices at my ear

They beg me to raise this hell, those on whom Raiden sees ugly horns of evil.

Death before my eyes

Lying next to me, I fear

She beckons me, shall I give in?

Upon my end, shall I begin

Forsaking all I've fallen for? I rise to meet the end

Shall I abandon everything behind? Shall I abandon the human in me, and become the monster strong enough to destroy another one?

No pressure tags: @scentedcandleibex @darialovesstuff @strangefable @onehornedbeast @loverofthewindgod @ninibear3000 @nightbloodbix @cassieuncaged @candlewax1 @breakfwest @euryalex @captastra @mintspider and anyone else with something to share!

[omargaret]

(♱) ∘ BIO : not spoiler free :/ like heavily. tw : BRIEF mentions of SA, incest, religious abuse.

i. FILM INSPIRED, influenced by headcanons. SUBJECT TO CHANGES. LAST UPDATE : 7/11/2024.

NAME: margaretta emilia daino. ALIAS(ES): maggie, mags, marg, scianna, anya [post-film]. PRONOUNS: she / her / they. BIRTHDAY: june 6th, 6:00 AM. ZODIAC: gemini sun, moon, & rising. SPECIES: human, vessel, jackal. MORAL ALIGNMENT: lawful - chaotic good. ORIGINS: rome, italy. pittsfield, MA. ABILITIES: above average strength, fear inducement, diabolical causality, manipulation (thoughts, emotions, memories), evil empowerment, advanced healing & recovery.

margaret daino is a 21 year old ward of the church, raised in pittsfield, massachusetts & unknowingly herded back to vatican city, under the guise of taking her finals vows, in order to fulfill what they consider to be her birthright. (𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘠, being the radical believers within the catholic church who conspired to impregnate her with the supposed antichrist in the hopes of driving people back into the church). maggie is a mostly devout young woman who believes the many troubles of her youth were only overcome by her commitment to her faith. while in this new place, maggie meets carlita. a young woman who reminds her of herself & turns out to be her 'sister' of sorts. another scianna, planned & conceived by the church. another offspring of the jackal.

despite the church's somewhat barbaric methods of keeping her under control as a child, she was ultimately grateful for the outcome. believing that her hallucinations were cured by their 'care' - rather than repressed by her own will. as the truth of her origins is slowly unraveled, so is her hold on her demonic capabilities which are what truly causes her 'hallucinations'. (more on that here) unfortunately for margaret, it all comes to light far too late. just as the church had planned, maggie conceives & gives birth to twins. one of which they have been waiting for for many years. a boy. damien. while they make off with their creation, maggie, her daughter [damien's twin sister] & the jackal [her birth father who r*ped & impregnated her with the twins], are all left behind to burn. margaret & her daughter are saved by carlita while the jackal continues to burn. from there, they are on the run.

following the events of the film, margaret is now a new, ill - prepared single mother, left to fend for herself, carlita & her daughter. it takes time, but eventually (thanks to the natural death of it's previous owner) the girls acquire a cabin out in the woods & begin to live off the land. margaret teaches herself a lot about food, medicine, & using the resources available to her. she does her best to teach carlita & her daughter once she's old enough, fearing the worst outcome is on it's way to her. that the church will find them.

• religion is a closed box that margaret never again opens, forever scarred by the reality of the life... [the lies] she partook in for so many years. instead, maggie teaches herself & the girls about all kinds of religions, spiritual beliefs, etc. as they navigate the formation of their own sets of values, beliefs, & moral codes.

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Trust Love is about Volume 9

So, obviously Trust Love is the Volume Seven Opening, but when we compare the themes of Vol7 with Trust Love, it doesn't match up, the song's too upbeat even as a lot of bad stuff starts coming to a head.

There was a fair amount of deceit and trickery, like what Ruby did, Yang and Blake working with the Happy Huntresses, Jacques working with Watts - No one's really genuinely trusting each other, or they are and getting played because of it.

However in Volume 9, we see Ruby struggling to trust herself, love herself, even as WBY make their care and love known throughout the group (Even if Weiss omitted the fact Jaune killed Penny, which will be an issue)

But We really need to read the Lyrics and compare it to what we've seen so far in Vol9 to understand.

Keep dreaming 'bout a better world/Maybe you'll wake up in a world of charm - Perhaps, dream of a better, more simplistic world, where things are easily definable, someplace that's meant to be quaint and charming - Something out of a storybook perhaps?

You're holdin' out for some romantic life - Yang and Blake now very openly flirting is them no longer holding out for it, but rather Reaching out for it, because it's right there. With her.

Oh, but what's here can set you free, you don't have to dream/All your problems would just disappear - Here in the Ever After you can be free of your Burden, like what the Blacksmith tells Ruby, or not carrying the troubles Ruby Rose has, Yet also It could literally be that Ruby is there, and can set them all Free/ She can free herself of her worry and doubt when she remembers/realize What and Who She is and wants to be.

if you just believe Then all you see is all you need - All Ruby needs to do is believe in her Friends and Family, who have been with her and Trust her, and love her. Then the belief She holds for them as well as herself is all she'll need to get them to the tree. She obviously can affect the world - when she cries it rains- It's sort of like Orc 40k logic in that way? I think?

Right now your hopes are shattered (Shattered)/And you're sure all hope is gone - Ruby doesn't have enough hope to fill a jar.

Trust love, the truth is there, but sometimes in disguise/But the lies can't hide what's true when love's alive - Her Love for Penny drew her to her sword both at Jinxy's cart, and in the Blacksmith's place.

Write yourself into a fairytale - Jaune is the Rusted Knight. He's potentially the same knight that Alyx met. Literally written into a fairytale.

And still, you're counting on a second sight To somehow wrest you from the way of harm - Using something of Hindsight from having read the story as children to try and navigate the Ever After, even if it's not all they know it to be.

When what you need to do is see, all you have to be Is here in reality, leave your fantasy - This, I feel, Also calls out Jaune most if not specifically. His Fantasy was to be a Hero! To save people. He's in a fantasy as he is now, not as a killer in reality. But sometimes being a hero isn't all it sounds like it should be. It's hard. Once Jaune realizes that he's a hero despite what he had to do, he'll open his eyes and leave that Fantastical Save-Everyone Get-the-Girl Hero behind. Sometimes being a hero is getting home. Ruby and Yang know what it's like when a Hero doesn't come home. It's why they lost Summer.

There's not a miracle that's gonna show you how The secret to your life is here and now Look inside, end your search and be alive It's time to rise, to realize, to open up your eyes

Both Inside and Trust love are Directly Referencing Each other! Trust Love is the Answer to Inside's question!

When you Open your eyes, Trust what you see, and end that search, you'll find the you inside of you. What you are.

And you, Ruby Rose? You aren't a normal girl with normal knees. You are a Huntress. You are a Leader. You are a Silver Eyed Warrior.

You are Ruby Rose, with all the complexities, upsides, and downfalls that come with it.

There will come the day you've waited for, When you've said goodbye to all the childish things you loved. After everything that's fallen, you and your family still need to Let yourselves Live For Every Life, and only then will you get your Triumph, and Rise, when you Trust Love, look Inside.

Only then will you realize, by burning away the darkness with your love, that you, a singular, young girl, with the weight of the world on your shoulders can win against such an insurmountable enemy.

Because when your soul is honest? When you accept your soul is smaller than Salems?

That is where your victory lies. That is when you win.

[sunflowernyx]

Chapter 1 I Newest chapter

He’s halfway up the stairs, patting his pockets for his keys, when he finds the note. A folded, plain sheet of paper with the inscription in a familiar hand by a manicured hand:

In case you and Dr Scully would like to throw the first stone; there is more than one way to kill a god.

On the other side is an address.

He pockets it.

Mulder knows not to let Spender get in his head, but it’s difficult. He’d painted a picture that kept expanding with very little information and very few admittances on his own meddling in Scully’s life and affairs, but by the time the door opens to his home, Mulder can’t help but wonder if Dana Scully was placed in his path to create a weakness or to spy on him.

Which had been the whole point of Spender’s set-up. It’s never just a one-sided trap, and Mulder knows if he avoids it now there’s a whole minefield ahead of him.

He wants to believe her. He needs her to be who she claims to be so badly. For himself and for Emily. Because for once in his life, he wants to be able to do the right thing by the people in his life.

And it would be easy too, coming back home to the vision that greets him as he steps into the living room.

Golden light falls across bookshelves, couches and half-empty mugs of cooling cacao, warming the skin of the girl and the woman curled up sound asleep in a nest of blankets and pillows. The television flickers silently on the midpoint of a family film, keeping them company in the night without disturbing their rest.

Scully’s knees curl up and her arm goes around the little girl, whose head is nestled under her chin, her cheek rounding against Scully’s shoulder. And  it is so peaceful, so picturesque, that Mulder could easily delude himself into imagining this to have been what he came home to for many months already, that it is, has always been, and always will be the norm.

He crosses the carpet on soft feet and kneels by the two girls to brush his fingers lightly down from Scully’s temple to her chin.

The hood of her eyelids slides up, revealing the clear blue sky below, and he watches the clouds of sleep clear with momentary pleasure.

“Mulder?” She murmurs, void deep with sleep.

Her arm tightens carefully around Emily.

“‘Morning,” he greets her. “Sorry for coming back so late. I know you have work in the evening.”

“It’s okay,” she says, and he knows she means it. “How’s the case going?”

Her hand brushes over Emily’s head in a caress light enough it doesn’t wake her.

“Slow,” he admits. “Thanks for watching her for me. I know it can’t have been easy to get time off work.”

Scully hesitates, and he can see it in her face; the war between greedily wanting time with her daughter and her practicality. If he had not reminded her of work he’s sure she would’ve asked if he needed a babysitter the next day too, and the next.

It makes him want to do dumb, reckless things.

Scully has been in their lives for only a handful of weeks, and in that time she has spent every free moment she could manage getting to know Emily. It’d meant a Saturday at the zoo, and another drinking hot chocolate by an ice rink.

He’d taken a Tuesday off on an invitation to visit a lab with her at the University of Maryland, where they’d done the DNA testing assuring everyone that there was no doubt in terms of familial connection. Afterwards they’d gone for a walk in the park, below the snow covered trees and Mulder had swung Emily up on his shoulders, while Scully brought them hot churros, and not for the first time had he considered what they might look like to passers-by. How easy it would be if that image weren’t just a superficial reflection on the water, hiding a much deeper, more murky truth.

“The rest of my duties on this involve paperwork and leading meetings, though,” he says in the present. “So I’ll be home at regular times from now on.”

“Oh. That’s good,” she lies.

And Mulder, he—

He almost laughs. Sleepy and adorable and transparent, he doesn’t think Dana Scully could lie even if she tried.

“Which means I’ll have time and space for dinner,” he clarifies, unable to keep his smile to himself. “This was your first time alone with Emily tonight, and I thought we should keep the momentum going so she really gets used to you. What do you say?”

Start chapter here

[peerlessscowl]

The soft scent of lilacs lingers as Poe finds her next table, undaunted by the relative chaos of others around her bustling about in their own attempts at finding their ways.

Eventually, her work is rewarded and she spots her next seat, indicated by her name on the card sitting atop it. Already sitting there is another, to whom she gives a polite bow in due courteousness and apology for the delay. Quickly, she looks at the topic they have been assigned.

"Three statements regarding ourselves this time, is it? What a curious set of prompts they've set out for us," she comments, seemingly amused. Well, she isn't opposed to having to play a bit of a game to learn more about he whom she is about to sit before—it's not all that different than her usual, come to think of it. The girl takes her seat, swiping her skirt beneath her and bringing her free hand to her face in careful thought. "Let me think. How about, in no particular order: I quite enjoy horticulture, I am proficient in a variety of magical arts from various continents..."

Finally, she comes up with a third, and her eyes settle on her partner at the table, looking satisfied with herself.

"And I believe strongly that all can be absolved of sin."

Even though he knew now what to expect, Raven still found himself adrift, simmering with an indignation which had no outlet, and discomfited by the flurry of excitement around him. It reminded him, if anything, of events of his childhood, being paraded for the fathers of minor noble or knightly houses to secure a match.

He nodded politely at the girl, but tempered the ingrained urge to jump to his feet while she seated herself.

She seemed pleasant enough, well-kept and well-spoken, and gamely addressed the topic that they were to discuss - two truths and a lie. The sour of pile spit in his throat, but he kept his face carefully blank, just this side of listening courteously, while the girl Poe spoke, immediately listing off her contribution to the conversation.

Horticulturist - he smelt the waft of perfume before she entered his line of sight, but that didn't necessarily mean she tended the plants herself, it could merely have been a pretty affectation for someone who clearly cared about outward presentation.

Mage - the easiest truth to distinguish of the bunch. Soft and slight of form, Raven couldn't have pictured a physical weapon in her hands, even in the direst circumstance. Whether the multicultural proficiency was a brag or exaggeration remained to be seen, but for the moment he'd no need to doubt her on it.

Sin. A ripple of tension coursed through his shoulders, and his brow furrowed. He'd no bead on her religious inclinations, but the fact that she'd brought it up at all indicated strong feelings on the subject. It made sense, he supposed, as Garreg Mach was as much a religious institution as it was a martial educative one.

A strong introduction, whether she'd intended it or not. He felt merely the slightest pang of guilt - her earnest attempt at playing the game as it was meant to be played, to be met with...well, him.

"Horticulture is fascinating - my...my mother had extensive gardens, when I was young. I...I helped her, sometimes." First, to the matter of courtesy - the scripts had not left him entirely, despite this habit of noble small talk not having ever come to him easily. But at the very least, he knew to acknowledge what she'd said, before talking about himself.

Shaking his head, he added, "I don't know much of magic, I'm afraid." A look at him might have pegged this as obvious, but what he left out was that he'd enough experience against mages in battle that he might have been able to peg them as foreign or otherwise from that alone.

A beat. "Nor can I say much for sin. Are you seeking a future in the clergy?"

Leaning back from the table, he rubbed his knuckles against the back of his head, frowning. "I'm not a very good liar," he lied, "but I suppose...I'm left-handed, I was born during a particularly hot summer, and I find it hard to get up to make prayers in the morning. Prefer sleeping in late," he added, clarifying.

[popcorndiet]

I hated myself for so long. I wanted to be like the girls you only see on this app. Unobtainable gods we worshiped with our starvation. Offering our meals to this delusion of perfection. The fear after each little bite that it wouldn’t be pleased with me. The truth was, no matter how much I purged or how much I sacrificed, it was never pleased with me and no matter how hard I imagined being skinnier would make me finally love myself, it never, ever did.

As a cry for help or perhaps an attempt to answer my dying hopes, my body developed cancer to fulfil my dreams. I finally achieved the sickly, weak body I had always dreamed of! My knees can barely hold myself up and don’t even get me started on trying to run. My hair was finally starting to fall out in clumps! Just like how all the perfect skinny girls on this app warned me about. And the headaches! There’s a reason you never see them. It’s because they are trapped inside their houses, it hurts their joints to walk and they are too fatigued to do the things they once enjoyed.

I believe these self hating thoughts contributed to my disease. I am sick and my body has been begging my to realize that it is sick on many, many levels. I don’t want to be trapped anymore. I want my sentence to be over and set myself free. Please, if you are struggling, reach out and find help. This is not worth it. It will take you down and down and you will never achieve the perfect life you think comes with being skinny. It is all a delusion. We’ve been lied to since childhood and we need to love ourselves. If anyone is struggling that is reading this, know that you are enough. Love your body and feed it nourishing foods. You’ll regret not sooner or later.

We were all too young on this app and it fucked with our heads. Have compassion for your Inner child. Why would you want to starve such a naive little thing?

[healinghoneybee]

Waterfalls and the tiniest of flowers

Sometimes it feels like my heart is too deep and sensitive for this ever-in-flux, (heedless, brash, remorseless?) world. If I give up control and allow you to hold my heart in your hands, I ask that you please be careful with it and show up with consistency and integrity and humility. With the regular examination and awareness and ownership and sharing of the state of your own heart and evolution of self. Well, now I know to ask. With curious, boundaried-love and respect for the both of us.

Life has cracked me open and I am working to heal and fill the cracks with liquid gold. 

I have cried out for the ones I loved to have faith in me and see the gifts of my deep feeling. I have been rejected and left and invalidated and ignored and forgotten and told by my ex lover to leave me alone. My body cried to travel down to the pain of my childhood wounds and neglect, the betrayals and violations and let downs. I went and felt and I survived. I expanded the space to hold hard things and beautiful things at the same time. And now that I have already been denied, I am free to be more of me. Larger and louder and full of myself because I have nothing to lose. The only one left standing to love me is me. The only one to give myself reconciliation is me. If you are not willing, I must be willing in entirety.

What once felt shaky and full of doubt inside is settling. I am no longer a confused little girl packing my Winnie-the-Pooh trunk to run away from home. I am no longer anticipating rejection, my hands tied, body waiting for the punch.  My body led me to face deep, ancient truths and I am starting to trust what I know to be true today - My love was always beautiful, calm, ethereal, wholehearted, and steady. It remains this way when you leave. 

Medicine reveals that hurts were real and worthy of acknowledgement, patience, and compassion. My pain deserved a conscientious apology and response. But your choice to hang it up and failure to hold space is not a reflection on me or what I shared. I am expanding, learning to hold space for myself, for what makes us squirm, bypass, deny. And I do not belong in the story you tell. I am left with no choice but to create my own world and affirm my own worthiness. 

In my medicine dream, I was pulled in by lovely persuasions. Come over here. I tried and I tried to listen to the faint seed inside me. I was confused if frightened rabbits were always frightened without cause. Men looked at me strange, like fear was stupid. So I held them and shushed them and told them to trust the magician with jazzy hands and beautiful kaleidoscope-coloured wonders that turned into snakes, that I could not look at directly, like the burning sun. 

Suddenly, he backed away and I was left in confusion. The dream was real but the magic was illusive and elusive. I thought we agreed to create together, but I’m left alone wondering if I was the magician all along? 

Left floating in black orbit with nothing but the tiniest of flowers. 

And then I awoke to a new dream and it goes like this:

When the ones I wish to share love with 

approach my love with a gentle, steady presence

when they have retired flash-in-the-pan magic and are willing to give an honest account of what lies inside, check engine lights and squeaky breaks and all.

when they have taken the time and pain alone to know what I have gotten to know, dirty shiny gut flora and all

when they demonstrate that their eyes are wide open to see and value the art of my love with sustained attention,

that they want to let me set the pace and walk slowly beside me, hand-in-hand

crouching down to see the most precious and quiet and tiniest of flowers

as the waterfalls and wind rage thunderously around us

I believe I will be able to hear the brave, calm seed within

I believe I will be able to stare in wonder at its soft, radiant light

I believe I will be able to create its colourful patterns to reflect my essence and shine

The dream is real and I’m already sitting with the tiniest of flowers

[jrheatriz]

toh final thoughts (3 seconds after finishing s3e1)

so. i finished watching the owl house so far. i think it's a good show! i think the characters are fun and the dynamics are cool. i can definitely tell that Disney was meddling with the flow of the show's production, especially at the tail end. which. That sucks. There seems to be quite a bit that they could have expanded on (and probably they had intended to) and it's kinda sad that less of the lore and plot within the show got set back by development and stuff. or at least, that's what i heard happened with the show. but i guess that isn't anything fanfiction can't fix! or...elaborate on, i guess. but either way i have many questions

changing subjects, had grimmwalkers been mentioned before hunter was revealed to be one?? cuz like, obviously he's a clone, but the "grimmwalker" terminology threw me off because i didn't remember that concept being introduced before.

ALSO. i get what y'all were saying about the hunter and belos dynamic being crazy insane because What Do You MEANN the man cloned hundreds of iterations of his own brother and killed the versions that didn't benefit his witch killing scheme?? Girl?? what the FUCK is wrong with you?? 😭😭

and masha's story is interesting because it alludes that caleb might have given up on the whole witch hunter thing. i thiiink he gave up on the witch hunter thing because the thing that made belos finally want to scrap hunter is the fact that hunter had realized he was hurting witches and hunter was not cool with that. even with all his failures, hunter was relatively safe from being killed until he had seen the truth about belos and denounced his behavior.

my theory is that all those baby caleb clones were belos trying to fabricate a reality in which his brother listened to him. he refuses to come to terms with the fact that he's wrong about witches, and that anger and need for vindication caused him to murder his brother and try to start over. he's so desperate to prove his brother wrong that he's trying to alter reality by brainwashing versions of caleb to believe His ideology. but they never do, because he can't alter his brother's...soul?? or something. OR because he's just fundamentally wrong about witches. but yeah, that's why he scraps them. FREAK fucking behavior buddy. Be Normal.

speaking of belos, but actually i lied and i'm changing the subject again, i'm interested to see what's going on with the Collector. this episode kinda focused on belos being the main antagonist, but y'all. we have an all-powerful star child just vibing in the demon realm and they killed belos in seconds. i'm pretty sure belos only survived because he was using hunter as a host. so like... what's going on there. did king manage to come up with a game fast enough to quell the child god's dangerously short attention span??? why were they locked away by king's dad?? how does king letting the collector free impact the demon realm and why did king's dad fear that king needed to be hidden away from them?? why does the collector have that lemon demon-ass theme song?? why did they only play it for 3 seconds it was so good? WHAT DOES THE COLLECTOR EVEN COLLECT????

[lillynigerianlitblog]

Week 13 Nigerian Blog

The most important quote of the week from, “Yinka, where is your huzband” is on page 259. Yinka is in the hospital after  her baby sister gave birth to her first child. With all her family around now they see it as a perfect chance to catch up since they’ve all been so distracted with their own personal life and the baby mothers new born child. As her mom and aunt that she calls “big mommy” press her about her new job and new boyfriend Alex, Yinka just can’t take it anymore. She can't bear the lies she’s been telling to anyone and she realizes that lying is what first got her into this mess and lying will not help her out of it. The only thing to do next is tell the truth no matter what the reaction may be or how hard it will be. Yinka goes on to say “doesn’t it say somewhere in the Bible that the truth will set you free? Or is that cool from liar, liar? Either way, it’s true.” She finally opens up and tells them that she lost her job, never got the promotion and Alex likes someone else.. Her sister.

First week back reading this book, I almost forgot what was going onnn. These couple of pages I read with my first week back were really good. I was only back for four days so I started a little late. I picked this as the most important quote of the week because it was about time Yinka dropped the act! I mean how long could she really lie for. It was getting embarrassing and she couldn’t even keep up with her own lies at this point. Yinka has been lying to her mom for weeks about having this promotion because she was too scared to hear her mother's judgment. As a Nigerian girl, I understand where she is coming from because I know how harsh African parents can be on their children. They usually have really high expectations of us because they didn’t have all the opportunities we have so they just want us to make the most of it and be better than them. But still, telling your parents news like this is hard and their reaction is harder. As for Alex. That news was like a bomb. It was crazyyy. When I read that my mouth really dropped, because Yinka truly believed he was the one. If you remember, she had a whole plan and everything. She really liked him and believed he really liked her.. But he was getting close to Yinka  just to get close to her sister. Crazy. Heartbreaking. Painful. But, I think just ripping the bandaid off and telling your parents the news already will help her mend her wounds rather than keeping it to herself and lying to everyone. Speaking from personal experience I would know.