#lies girls believe and the truth that sets them free

[thetinytreesleft]

i hate nancy demoss wolgemuth as much as she hates any women who doesn't hate herself

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

Honey Girl. Chapter Ten.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Eleven. Series Masterlist. The Playlist.

Chapter Synopsis - The two of you have some time to yourselves for what feels like the first time in forever.

Pairing - Dadsbestfriend!Bucky Barnes x female reader - soulmate au

Warnings - smut. cursing. mention of a panic attack. initial hospital setting. one alcohol mention.

Word Count - 4k

Authors Note - 10!! 10 whole chapters!! can you believe it!! pancake recipe taken from mr carlos sainz - thanks carlito <3. double date next chapter (with protective/jealous bucky, as requested ;)). and the much awaited conversation… coming very soon. thanks for the love and support and kindness. it means the world, always <3

as always, if you enjoyed this, please consider reblogging!! reblogs are the only way to circulate my writing, which generates more of it. feel free to send me a comment or an inbox, too!! thanks, my loves!! <3

Masterlist. Inbox.

“Before I came down to find you, your Mom raised a question with me.”

“… which was?”

He takes a deep breath. Exhales it shakily.

“She asked me how long you and I have been soulmates.”

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

“We can’t sit out here forever, honey.”

You stretch out your legs from where they’ve been tucked up against your chest, chin resting on your knees. Bucky places a hand on your thigh, thumb rubbing gentle circles.

“We can.”

He chuckles, pressing a kiss into the top of your head.

“I know it’s scary, but we can’t run from this any longer. We’re just going to have to face it head on.”

“I know,” you sigh, taking his hand in yours. “I’m just…”

You trail off, leaving words unspoken in the air like particles of dust in the sunlight.

“What are you so afraid of? Is it that they won’t support us? Honey girl, they aren’t gonna have much of a choice. We are literally soulmates.”

You’re trying to find a way to explain, but none of your thoughts are coherent enough to articulate into something comprehensible.

“I don’t know, Buck. At first, I think it was that. But now? Maybe I just feel guilty that we’ve kept something so huge a secret for so long. I used to tell my parents everything - by choice. That’s how we’ve always been. And suddenly, the biggest event of my life happens, and I… didn’t tell them?”

“You’re letting this guilt eat you alive, baby. Listen, I feel it too. You’re not alone in this. Do you know how many times your parents have asked me about dating in these last eighteen months? How many times we’ve talked about soulmates? And I guess I never lied… but I haven’t exactly told the truth. I’m just as guilty as you think you are.”

“I’m sorry,” you confess, resting your head against his broad shoulder. “I’ve had such tunnel vision with this whole situation. I’ve been selfish. I should have thought about you more.”

“You haven’t had to.”

“Hmm?”

“You’ve got nothing to apologise for, honey baby. You’ve never had to ‘think about me more’, because you’ve known how I felt this whole time. In here.”

He places a hand over your heart. You close your eyes, letting the warmth from his palm bleed into your chest. The weight of it grounds you back down to Earth, tethered to your soulmate in more ways than one.

“That’s the beauty of it,” he continues. “You don’t have to guess how I’m feeling, or when I’m feeling it - because I’m always telling you. And you’re always listening.”

“I don’t deserve you,” you whisper, squeezing his hand where it’s still linked with yours.

“The Universe disagrees,” he whispers back, leaning in to kiss the spot underneath your ear. “I disagree.”

It’s all so tender, so gentle, so real, that a lump in your throat forms instantly. You blink rapidly, fighting back tears as you press your side into his. If you could sew yourself into his ribcage and live there forever, resting your head on his beating heart, you would.

“Come on,” he coaxes carefully, pulling you to your feet and watching to see if you’re steady enough. “Let’s do this thing.”

You stare up at him, lost in those ocean blue irises. For a moment, you swear you see the waves moving in them, crashing against the shore in a motion so comforting, it reminds you of home.

“I love you.”

Bucky smiles at you, pupils dilating and heart beating that little bit faster. He’ll never get sick of hearing those words.

“I love you more than all the stars in the sky, honey girl. More than anything.”

Tangling your fingers with his, you inhale deeply before taking the first step forwards, towards the front doors of the hospital.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

When you reach your Dad’s room, you drop Bucky’s hand as if by instinct. When he links your fingers once more, you panic momentarily, before realising it’s futile.

They already know. There’s no point in hiding it anymore.

You walk through the door hand in hand, pressed into each others sides as if it’ll keep you standing upright. Maybe it will.

Your Mom instantly bolts out of her chair, coming over to assess you. She looks you up and down, cradling your face in her hands as she checks you over.

“You were gone a long time, sweetheart. You okay? Have you been crying?”

Bucky lets go of you to give you some space, but doesn’t go too far. You can still feel his warmth from behind you as you watch your Mom’s eyebrows furrow with worry.

“I had… I think it was, um… like a - a panic attack, or something. I don’t know. I just got overwhelmed.”

Your voice sounds so small again, so fragile. You mentally chastise yourself for not being stronger for her.

“Oh, honey.”

She pulls you into her chest, stroking your hair just like she did when you were a child and had a nightmare. You’d run across the hall and into your parents room - your Mom would always bolt upright when she heard little feet on the wooden floors, waiting for you with open arms.

“Your Dad is gonna be fine. I promise you, the Doctors have said he’ll make a full recovery.”

“It’s true.”

The voice is croaky and rusted from misuse, but it unmistakably belongs to the man lying in the hospital bed.

You make your way over and sit down carefully, cautious and calculated. Your Dad takes your hand, stroking his thumb across your skin.

“I’m gonna be just fine, kid. I know I scared you, and I’m really sorry. But I’m okay. Promise.”

You smile at him, genuinely this time, before leaning in to press a quick kiss to his cheek.

“You guys should go home.”

“What?”

“You heard me. Go home, get some rest. The two of you look almost as exhausted as Lori does.”

Your Mom laughs, shaking her head. You chuckle, watching them. There’s no one funnier than your soulmate.

“I think we should stay a little longer, Jack.”

Bucky’s voice has all three of your heads whipping around to face him.

“Buck, please be on my side here. You’re tired. Go home, sleep it off. All I’m gonna do for the next twenty four hours is sleep anyway. There’s no point in you sitting here watching me like a bunch of creeps.”

You chew your bottom lip, watching your Dad’s face carefully.

“Mom, Dad - we need to talk about-”

“I know, babygirl,” your Dad interrupts. “And we will. But not here, and not now. We’ll do it when I’m home. We can all sit on the couch and drink your Mom’s cherry lemonade and talk about how you and Bucky have been soulmates this entire time.”

“Not this entire time,” you grumble at his attempt at a joke.

“Seriously, you two. I won’t ask again. Go. Home.”

You look at your Dad for a moment, before averting your gaze to your Mom. They’re both wearing the exact same facial expression - the one they used to give you when you’d refuse your bedtime as a six year old on a school night.

“Come on, honey. You heard them. We’re practically dead on our feet.”

You rise from the bed reluctantly, pressing another kiss to your Dad’s cheek before doing the same to your Mom.

“Call me if anything changes, or if you need anything. I mean anything, you guys.”

They both nod as your Dad does a mock salute, laughing at himself.

Bucky extends his hand out for you. This time, you don’t hesitate to take it. You hold it tightly all the way back to his truck, and then all the way back home.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

You and Bucky get ready for bed in silence, both of you flitting around your apartment as quickly as possible. You can’t wait to finally get under your duvet and lose the stress of the last twenty four hours.

The minute your head hits the pillow, you’re wide awake.

The exhaustion has seeped into your bones, making you weary but restless. You can’t settle, physically or mentally.

Bucky, on the other hand, is out like a light.

He looks so peaceful like this. The moonlight soaks through a gap in the curtains, illuminating his face like some sort of angel. His hair is a little longer than usual, stubble growing out across his sharp jawline. He looks rugged, a little rough around the edges. He’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.

As if he can feel your gaze on him, he cracks an eye open, blinking to adjust to the dimly lit room. He has a pillow crease across his skin, cheek flushed pink with a dusty blush.

“You okay, baby?”

His voice is hoarse and all sleep heavy, rumbling through you like gentle summer thunder.

“Can’t sleep,” you whisper, trying to fight back tears. “I’m so tired, Buck. So fucking tired.”

“But you can’t sleep?”

He pulls you into his chest, tucking your head into the crook of his neck and stroking your hair soothingly.

“It’s like my body is exhausted, but my brain is wide awake,” you mumble into his bare skin. “Doesn’t make sense.”

“Nothing makes sense,” he chuckles lowly. “Nothing in this goddamn world makes sense. Except for me and you.”

Bucky spins you in his arms so your back is to his chest, bodies pressed together without an inch of space between you. Pressing a kiss into your neck, he starts mumbling.

“You just need to turn your brain off, baby. I know it’s easier said than done… so I’m gonna help you. All you need to do is focus on my voice, on my touch. Focus your attention on my hands on you, my lips on your skin. The heat of my body against yours.”

He skims his fingers down your side, gripping at your hips to ground you. He’s still kissing your neck, nipping occasionally to vary the sensation. He slips a hand down your front, cupping you over your underwear as you close your eyes, breathing him in. He smells like salt water and sea air and gasoline and home.

You cant your hips into his touch, trying to get him where you want him. Bucky takes the hint, slipping his hand into your panties and running a finger through your wetness. You groan, throwing your head back into his solid shoulder.

“Just switch off, honey baby. Give in to me.”

Bucky glides a finger into you, crooking it towards him. His palm hits your clit and you keen, whining all high pitched and breathy. His hips buck into your backside at the sound, and he chuckles.

“Fuck, you sound so sweet. Sweetest girl in the world.”

He adds another finger, using his thumb to circle your clit in precise, firm motions. You’re writhing against the mattress like a serpent, unable to stay still as Bucky takes you apart.

“Come for me, baby. Can feel you squeezin’ my fingers. That’s it, atta girl… ride my hand, take what you need. Wanna hear how pretty you sound when you come.”

Your entire body tightens up as you reach your climax, back arching away from Bucky as he continues to curl his fingers. He pulls you close, anchors you to him as you moan and shudder.

Your head is empty, besides the thought of your soulmate. All you can think about is Bucky.

Bucky Bucky Bucky Bucky Bucky.

You take a stuttered inhale as you try to catch your breath, beads of sweat dripping down your back.

“You okay?”

He’s muttering into your shoulder, mouth never leaving your skin. You nod, linking your fingers with his where they rest on your waist.

“You didn’t come,” you whisper, leaning your head back into Bucky.

He kisses your cheek, chuckling lowly.

“This wasn’t about me,” he reassures. “It’s all about you, baby. Always is.”

The two of you breathe together for a little while, allowing you to come down from your high. Eventually, Bucky taps your thigh, nudging you up.

“Come on, honey. Get up and use the bathroom, and then we’ll sleep for the next week.”

You do as he says, crawling back into bed with limbs that feel like jelly.

“How you feelin’?” he asks as he pulls you into his side, resting your head on his chest.

“Fucking fantastic.”

He laughs and you can’t help but laugh too, as if by reflex.

“Yeah? No more racing thoughts in that pretty head of yours?”

“None. All I can think about is how much I want to sleep right now.”

Pressing a kiss onto the top of your head, Bucky tightens his arms around you.

“Then sleep, baby.”

You snuggle into your soulmates side, relaxing into the mattress.

“I love you,” you mumble into his skin.

“I love you,” he murmurs back. “Sweet dreams, honey girl.”

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

When you wake, you can’t tell if you’ve slept for five minutes or five days.

The sheets are crumpled, linen strewn across the bed as the pillows sit completely unmoved at the headboard. Sunlight filters in through the curtains, warming your skin that’s exposed to the sea soaked breeze.

You reach over to the other side of the mattress, seeking Bucky’s warmth. You’re met with empty space, and the sound of a throat clearing on the other side of the room.

The man in question is leaning against the doorframe, shirtless and sun kissed. His boxers are hugging his thighs just right, and you repress the urge to crawl over and sink your teeth into the muscle. Later.

“Morning or afternoon?” You croak out, watching as he softly smiles at your sleep addled voice.

“Morning. Eleven twenty four.”

You stretch your arms above your head, unaware of the way Bucky’s eyes are glued to your bare stomach.

“You want breakfast, or have you eaten?”

“Haven’t eaten yet. Was waiting for you.”

You slide down to the end of the bed where Bucky meets you, leaning down to press a minty kiss to your lips.

“Have you been awake long?”

He shakes his head, stealing another kiss.

“Ten minutes or so.”

“How’d you sleep?”

He moves some hair away from your face gently, the morning affection making you light up inside.

“Like a baby. Don’t think I moved once.”

You laugh, running your fingers over his bare shoulders.

“I can’t remember the last time I slept like that.”

“Me neither. I think we need to start prioritising sleep a little more.”

“It’s just… so hard,” you murmur, rising onto your knees on the bed so you’re face to face. “I don’t ever want to sleep when I have the most handsome man alive in my bed. I can think of many other things I’d rather be doing.”

He groans, chuckling lowly.

“Watch it,” he warns. “Or I’ll keep you in this bed all day. Won’t let you leave.”

“Is that a threat or a promise, Barnes?”

He football tackles you suddenly, both of you falling backwards into the plush sheets. You squeal, caught off guard as his hands squeeze your sides firmly.

“Keep running your mouth and see what happens, angel.”

You card your fingers through his hair, tugging slightly to get a reaction. When his eyes flutter closed, you breathe out a laugh.

“I’m so scared,” you tease, peppering his face with gentle kisses. “Like, quaking in my boots.”

He goes to retort, but is interrupted by the deafening sound of your stomach rumbling.

“If we weren’t about to get noise complaints from the neighbours about that hunger of yours, I would absolutely continue this. But…”

“We need to eat.”

“Yes, we do.”

You peck his cheek before jumping off the bed, stretching as you make your way to the kitchen. Bucky follows you eagerly. Of course he does.

You click the coffee maker on as you spin to face him where he’s leaning against the counter.

“I’m about to make you the best pancakes you’ll eat in your entire life, James.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. Watch and learn, baby.”

When he doesn’t move, you walk him backwards, pulling out the bar stool from underneath the island.

“You just sit there and look pretty.”

He shakes his head with a smirk as you wink, turning on the stove and grabbing your bowls and utensils. He didn’t ask for a cooking lesson, but you’re about to give him one.

“The trick is to separate the egg whites from the yolks, and whip them. When they’re fluffy, you fold them into your mixture, and it makes the pancakes light and airy and gorgeous. Then you add honey, for extra sweetness.”

He watches you flit around the kitchen as if you’re the sun, bright and warm and radiant. He can’t take his eyes off you for a second. He couldn’t if he wanted to.

Bucky’s blinking back tears, suddenly, as you sway your hips while flipping the pancakes at the stove. He wants to drop to his knees, yell out to a higher power and ask what the hell he did to deserve someone like you. He’ll beg, if he has to, for someone, something, to make sure that he finds you in every universe, in every version of this crazy life.

“I love you,” you beam at him, as if you’ve read his mind. “I love you more than anything.”

Your grin is so blinding, so utterly brilliant that the entire room lights up with it. Your own form of electricity.

“I… I-”

“I know, Buck.”

It gets like this, sometimes. Too overwhelming to put into words. To love someone more than anything, anyone - a love that knows no bounds - is completely indescribable.

So he doesn’t even try. He just nods at you, watching as your eyes light up at the sight of him.

“Will you pour us some coffee while I put these on a plate?”

“Anything you need,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your hair as he squeezes past you to grab the mugs. “Always.”

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

You settle down to eat on the balcony, letting the midday sun warm you both up.

“I brought syrup, but, I also brought this.”

You hold out a plastic tub that contains a dark pink mixture, popping the lid off.

“Try it.”

Bucky sticks his little finger in, putting it in his mouth and sighing in contentment at the taste that coats his tongue.

“Good?”

“So good. What is it?”

“My homemade raspberry and lemon coulis. I make it to go on top of pancakes and waffles - it beats maple syrup any day.”

“You’re a genius.”

“So it’s been said,” you laugh, pouring it over your plate. “Now eat before they go cold.”

“Yes ma’am.”

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

“You weren’t lying,” he says when he’s finished. “They were the best pancakes I’ve ever eaten.”

You laugh, sliding across to press your side into his.

“There’s a lot more where that came from. I have so many recipes I want you to try.”

“God, I’m so lucky. I have the most perfect soulmate in the world, and she’s a baker. What did I do to deserve you, hmm?”

You lean in to kiss him gently, licking across his lips. He tastes like raspberries and sugar and eight hours of sleep.

You’re sat in comfortable silence when your phone rings, startling you both.

“Hello?”

“Babe?”

“Lacie?”

“Hey!”

“Hi!”

You smile instantly, and Bucky does too, by default.

“Your Mom called me and told me about your Dad. She’s been keeping me updated over text. How are you guys holding up?”

“We’re good, honestly. It was a little touch and go at first, but now… we’re okay. All of us.”

“Good. I love you guys.”

“Love you too. So much.”

She sighs all deep and wistful, and you can’t help but chuckle.

“What’s up, Lace?”

“Well… I’m calling with a proposition. And I feel like you’re gonna say no, but your Mom already told me that I had to force you to do it, so.”

“Oh, God.”

“Come on a double date with me and Cameron tonight. Come for dinner and drinks with us.”

You take a deep breath, looking over at Bucky. He nods in agreement, encouraging you.

“Okay.”

“Yeah?”

Her surprise is undeniable, the octave of her voice rising ever higher.

“Yeah. I haven’t seen you in too long, and it’ll be good for me to meet Cameron, finally. Plus, we’re visiting my Dad this afternoon, so we have a free evening.”

“Oh my God, I am so excited! Okay, I’ll text you the address of where we’re eating. Cam knows so much about you already, he can’t wait to meet you. And I can’t wait to meet Bucky… again? I mean I’ve met him before, but not as your soulmate.”

“Yeah,” you giggle. “It’ll be good for everyone to get… reacquainted.”

“Exactly!”

“Alright, Lace. We’ve gotta get ready to visit my Dad, but I’ll see you later?”

“See you later, babe. I am so excited. See you then!”

She puts the phone down, and you can almost picture the cloud of perfume and pressed powder that’s about to rain down on her bedroom. You wish you were there to watch it happen, like old times.

“Our first double date, huh?”

“It’ll be our last if you don’t behave,” you tease, leaning in to peck Bucky’s lips.

“Don’t tempt me.”

You laugh into his mouth, running your fingers through the ends of his hair at the back of his neck. It’s the longest you’ve seen it, and it’s starting to curl all cute and soft and wispy.

“Come on. Let’s go see my Dad, and then spend hours mentally preparing ourselves for Storm Lacie.”

“I always liked her. Seemed good for you.”

“She is. She’s the best.”

Bucky wraps a strong arm around your shoulder as you swing your legs over his lap, burying yourself in his bare chest.

“You nervous?” he asks into your temple.

“A little, weirdly. Meeting each others soulmate is the kind of thing we’d talk about when we were kids. And now we’re doing it.”

“We can handle it,” he reassures, his thumb rubbing patterns into your arm. “We can handle anything, you and I.”

“Anything?”

“Anything, honey girl. Anything.”

tag list part one

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[the-monkey-ruler]

The Monkey King 2 (2016) 西游记之孙悟空三打白骨精

Director: Zheng Baorui Screenwriter: Ran Ping / Ran Jinan / Wen Ning Starring: Aaron Kwok / Gong Li / Feng Shaofeng / Xiao Shenyang / Luo Ziyi / Fei Xiang / Kelly Chen / Ngawang Rinchen / Peng Yu / Cheng Dong / Liu Chutian / Yu Xin / Wei Lu / Qi Xier / Mu Qi Miya / Zhang Zimu Genre: Comedy / Action / Fantasy Country/Region of Production: Mainland China/Hong Kong, China Language: Mandarin Chinese Date: 2016-02-08 (Mainland China) / 2024-09-14 (Re-release in Mainland China) Duration: 120 minutes Also known as: Journey to the West: Havoc in Heaven Sequel / Journey to the West: Three Strikes of Bone Demons / Three Strikes of Bone Demons / 西遊記之三打白骨精 / 西游记之大闹天宫续集 / 西游记之三打白骨精 / 三打白骨精 IMDb: tt4591310 Type: Retelling

Summary:

500 years after Sun Wukong's (Aaron Kwok) imprisonment under the Five Fingers Mountain, a young Buddhist monk Tang Sanzang (Feng Shaofeng) sets out for a journey to the Thunder Monastery in India to collect Buddha's scriptures. When he is attacked by a tiger, he is forced to free Wukong and the Monkey King learns that he has to protect the monk throughout the journey, because the Bodhisattva Guanyin ensured he would be bound by an enchanted circlet that can cause him pain whenever Tang Sanzang chants a certain sutra. Soon the duo meet Zhu Bajie (Xiaoshenyang), a lustful pig demon, and Sha Wujing (Him Law), a djinn-like monk. He fights a dragon, defeats it and transforms it into a horse as his mount.

The company travel to the Yun Hai Xi Kingdom, a land terrorized by the White Bone Demon (Gong Li) who has been eating people in order to extend her unnatural life and avoid the Wheel of Reincarnation. As the demoness learns about Sanzang, she decides to eat him in order to stop her reincarnation cycle and achieve everlasting demonhood. She takes the appearance of an old woman and lures the group into a cottage in the woods. To prevent Wukong from using his truth-seeking eyes to see through her disguise immediately, she throws tainted dust into his eyes that clouds his sight. Then while her disguised minions keep Wukong, Bajie and Wujing occupied, the demoness tells Sanzang a story about how she was forced to marry as a young girl, and when her village suffered famine, the people blamed her for it, even calling her an evil demon, and attempted to kill her as a sacrifice to the gods. As Tang comforts the old lady, she attempts to kill him, but is stopped by Wukong. The demoness escapes before Wukong can deal the killing blow and leaves the dead body of the old lady behind. Sanzang and the others don't believe Wukong that all the women he murdered were demons, and blame him for killing the innocent. Sanzang punishes Wukong by chanting the sutra and causing the circlet to tighten painfully on his head. Afterwards, Sanzang climbs to the top of a mountain where Wukong is sulking. Sanzang tells Wukong he thinks they are both very alike, for they both only trust what their own eyes sees. But together, they are better able to discern the truth. This is why they were all chosen to be on this journey together.

The group arrives to the kingdom's capital and the King (Fei Xiang) throws a feast for them, begging Sanzang to exorcise the bloodthirsty demoness from their land. Suddenly Lady White appears and demands the monk, but he offers her his help in enlightenment instead. She tells Wukong that they are both very alike, and tries to persuade Wukong to let her devour the monk, but he deceives her instead and a fight ensues. During the chaos, the King's guards kidnap Sanzang. It is revealed that it's actually been the King kidnapping and killing the children in a desperate attempt to cure himself of a cursed disease by drinking their blood. He tries to kill Sanzang, but Wukong arrives and saves the monk and the surviving children as well. All of the group are celebrated as heroes, but as a little girl approaches Sanzang, Wukong beats her and her mother to death as well, because his truth-seeking eyes perceive both were possessed by the White Bone Demon. In a fit of anger and disbelief, Tang banishes Wukong away. As soon as Wukong leaves, Sanzang gets kidnapped by the demoness.

In the demoness' lair, the White Bone Demon gives Sanzang a day to convince her to give up her evil ways and embrace nonviolence and enlightenment as the true path to immortality. She reveals to him the story she had told him earlier was true, recounting her previous life as a mortal. Right before Sanzang's time is up, he is saved by Wukong at the last minute. Wukong, Bajie and Wujing fight the White Bone Demon and her army and finally defeat her, with Wukong mortally wounding her. The Buddha comes down from the Heavens to collect the defeated demoness' soul and banish it to oblivion but Sanzang pleads Buddha to grant her mercy and give Sanzang one last chance to save her soul from destruction. Buddha tells him that he would have to lead her on the path herself, meaning he would have to sacrifice his own life. The monk begs the demoness to show remorse and accept the Wheel of Reincarnation, but the White Bone Demon would rather die as a broken tainted soul in Sanzang's body instead of returning to the Wheel of Reincarnation. Saddened, Tang begs Wukong to kill him, too. The Monkey King refuses at first, but Sanzang explains how he used to think he just had to recite Buddha's teachings to convince people to become good. Now he understands he must also lead by example and do good in order to convince people. Sanzang had to do this for his own journey towards enlightenment. Wukong finally understands the monk's desire to help the demoness change her fate, and tearfully agrees, promising Sanzang to wait for his return. Wukong brings his staff down and Sanzang's body is changed into a statue. In return Sanzang says if he gets a chance to do so in his next life, he would be glad to be Wukong's master again. Because of Sanzang's sacrifice, he succeeds in leading the demoness to her next reincarnation, freeing her of her pain and hatred.

Some time later, Wukong and his friends still wait for the return of the monk, but continue their journey to the Thunder Monastery. Wukong rides on Sanzang's horse with Sanzang's statue strapped to his back. From Heaven, Guanyin drops a bead of water from her magic vase that falls to earth and hits right at Sanzang's hand. The surface cracks, revealing a human finger underneath.

Source: https://movie.douban.com/subject/25827963/

Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_A7XSayGf04

[swallowedbyfandom]

Lay down your dreams

After she speaks with her mama she decides she knows exactly what to do. It is time to stop hiding she is so very tired of making herself smaller to be more palpable for the society. She is tired of people claiming to love her but never allowing her to speak. She is tired of allowing Colin to blame her for his own blindness. He was her most frequent correspondent, he could have figured it out if he ever bothered to think on it.

She looks at her once vibrant mother. She remembers thinking as a girl that her mama was the most beautiful Lady. Now her mama is worn too thin. Her fierce mother has lied, cheated, and literally stolen to support their family. Her tasteless, tacky mama is a survivor. So is she. Penelope respects that, is proud of it.

Dash it all. She is Penelope Featherington, The Lady Whistledown, that is a better legacy than being Penelope Bridgerton, the unheard wife of a third son. In a way she wants to thank him for being so stupidly hurtful she has finally had enough. She was willing to give up Whistledown for him. She did give up her only source of power for him however temporarily it was.

He however didnot even set down his hurt long enough to have a discussion with her. He claimed she entrapped him, when he was the one who ruined her prospects. She wishes to all that is holy that they had never been intimate. He was not worthy of her virtue. She has never needed Colin's conditional honor. The final straw was when he ignored her opinion on Cressida Cowper.

She heads back to Bloomsbury to gather her belongings. She has Rae and some of the Featherington staff pack her trunks and load them on the carriage before heading back to Featherington House. She hands Varley enough to make the Finch/Dankworth Ball the most elegant and gaudy ball Mayfair has ever seen. She wants her sisters and her mother to have a magical night that reflects the loud vibrant women they are.

She settles into her childhood room, to set her schemes into motion. She writes a letter for Violet explaining everything she wished to explain. The beginning, the middle, and this bittersweet end. She includes her engagement and wedding band. She shall have the letter delivered the afternoon of the ball. Let Colin deal with his mother's disappointment. Violet she knows will understand her reasons better than most.

Their ball is a victory for the ladies of her house. Widowed, married, and newly single alike. Colin of course comes to her after the Queen's judgement with his heart in hand. He finally sees her. He is beautiful, earnest and as always, he is a day late and a shilling short. She takes his hands in hers and tells him she had their marriage annulled on the grounds of fraud and lack of consummation.

He tries to protest but she will not have it. She drops his hands and speaks her truth.

"You had your chance to fix things, Colin. You turned your back on me. All your claims of love, devotion, and protection were empty. Our marriage was a farce. You never allowed me the dignity of explaining myself. You ran. You always run, Colin."

She cries silently while she continues. It will always hurt she thinks. The loss of this beautiful dream she no longer believes in. Colin has shattered her heart and her faith in him for the last time. Love is not always enough.

"I asked my mama how one knows if they are with child and she explained it to me. I started my courses two days ago and I have no symptoms. I can safely conclude I am not with child. You can no longer claim I have entrapped you. The annulment has been signed, sealed, and filed already. I have returned the rings to your mother and removed my belongings from your home."

"I wish you well, Mr. Bridgerton. Good bye."

She leaves him standing there.

She is as free as a woman in society can be. She is not yet comfortable with the attention and the problems she will face being Whistledown publicly but her mama will not be implicated in theft. The solicitor will believe the inheritance to be Whistledown income. It is not too far from the truth anyway. She has been discreetly paying down her papa's debt for years. Her family will endure. She will head to the country with her mama next week. She thinks she will write a book as her next endeavor.

Perhaps the Queen would be open to sharing her love story. It cannot hurt to ask.

[spurgie-cousin]

ok my mom understandably had to go to bed (very late here in her time zone, and it's even an hour later in the one I'm used to) but I'm a mental masochist so I will trudge on until I can't physically watch Shiny Happy People anymore (and I'm just going to edit my comments instead of reblog bc so far there's really not a lot most of us aren't aware of):

- firstly, I knew Deanna was raised Christian but I didn't know she was raised VERY conservative Christian. Per Deanna, this is the reason Amy was allowed so much freedom; she didn't want to limit her as a female in any of the ways she was

- going off of that, I can see how that foundation would open Jim Bob up to a religion that is so insanely misogynistic

- I know it's a thing all of us who've been around a while have known, but it's all but explicitly said that the Duggar kids had any steal of rebellious beat out of them. By Michelle, regardless of what she sounds like.

- I can't help but wonder if this is the reason Michelle sticks so closely to this faith, even after all that's happened. Even as her own children have expressed how abusive their upbringing was. Leaving the ideology means admitting you were an abuser and not an educator.

- Jill felt like she lied in the Megyn Kelly interview. She didn't want to do it and said she wouldn't have without her parents urging, and she felt obligated to protect her family. She didn't want to do this interview, but didn't trust anyone else to tell the truth which, given her upbringing, I totally get.

- the interviews with other ex-IBLP kids are just as fascinating to listen to as Jill's (if not more bc a lot of them WANT to be there). Tia Levings in particular is so incredibly brave and wonderful, please follow her your preferred platform ❤️

- Mike Huckabee is an accomplice to abuse and ped*philia at best

- I know Derick can be insufferable but I promise he's worth listening to in this doc, at least so far (I'm halfway through episode 3). And he's a very serious Jill advocate, which I feel like all the Duggar girls need so badly.

- Jill didn't want anyone at her birth because SHE DIDN'T WANT TOO GO THROUGH WHAT ANNA WENT THROUGH. She agreed to a diary cam at most.

- For that work they did during their babies birth, the Dillards requested not a full paycheck, but a small health insurance renumeration fee from TLC, who asked them to do this work. TLC informed then that they had already paid all sums to Jim Bob.

- Jill has never received any amount of payment from TLC for all the time and work she had given them. Neither had Derick.

- this is probably a NO DUH for us around here, but here is a short list of IBLP/ATI approved lives of training, especially for minors who are doing work for free for other members of the organization (i believe the Bates kids are included in some of the pictures accompanyingthis part):

1. CoNSTrUCTioN!!!

2. Cosmetology (women only of course)

3. Ministry

4. Business?

5. Healthcare consultant

6. ALERT counselor

Secular college courses so not apply to accreditation in these fields

- other ex-IBLP members confirm that children were trained in construction trades and child labor was used gratuitously in the organization, for anything from repairs, to setting up conferences, to building actual buildings. And it was all, of course, free.

- ALERT confirmed as a purposeful paramilitary organization

- am ex-IBLP woman who was sent to ALERT states that they took tampons away from her, as they were a form of purity violation (she says they said she had purposefully taken her own virginity by using them).

- a woman raised in IBLP recounts a story at a conference in Oklahoma City where her roommate almost slit her throat with a knife over being a 'glutton'. Essentially, a teenage girl almost killed herself over not being thin enough to be 'godly'.

- David Green, the CEO of Hobby Lobby, is STILL IBLP's biggest donor. Don't fucking shop there!!!!

- a purposefully sanitized version of Bill Gothard's teachings have been and might still be used in elementary schools, prisons, police and military units as a way of indoctrinating those in attendance to be more open to absolute authority.

- All of the kids besides Jill & Derick might've very well signed a very lengthy contract that extends at least a decade. The Dillards didn't, and have received extreme yet Christian-flavored threats over it???

- The Dillards were using a food bank even after they asked Jim Bob for the most basic payment for their services to the show

- Jill, Derick, and others all agree tha Journey To The Heart was a vetting mechanism for Gothard's abuse victims

[theelderhazelnut]

Music Monday Tuesday

Tagged by @thesingularityseries @inafieldofdaisies @bisexualjohnnycage @chadillacboseman @aceghosts @voidika @socially-awkward-skeleton @cassietrn @aceghosts <3 tagging you all back for the next week!

I haven’t participated in ages, but here’s a good ‘ol song which describes the end of “Rise of the Villains: The Shadow” (prequel to Darker than Black) perfectly. It speaks about the time when Atoosa (Ombra) discovers a harsh truth about the cause of the death of her parents and the protector gods especially Raiden, after being a low level servant ar the Sky Temple. That very truth is that the protector gods are involved in a cult which killed her parents and many more innocent people (in that flight incident). However, this is only a portion of the main picture. Atoosa faces a tough decision: take revenge and be free of the chains of their control forever, or linger beside Raiden, and endure the chains of being a good girl who watches her life burning in flames.

Catch me as I fall

Say you're here and it's all over now

Falkus finds me, and tells me what I need to hear. Raiden, the very man I have feelings for, is on the same side with my parents’ murderers. I don’t want to believe it, in fact, I want him to catch me and save me. I want him to say that he is here for me, and that nothing is going to go wrong, so I won’t drown in this pain.

Speaking to the atmosphere

No one's here and I fall into myself

This truth drives me into madness

Well, Raiden doesn’t do it. He’s loyal to his belief, to his mortals. No one is there to save me, and show me only a glimpse of light.

I know I can stop the pain if I will it all away

If I will it all away

There was only one way to stop this pain, and to free my rage. I can’t just sit here watch those vermins walk around and control my fate. I had enough of being a puppet to their will, and have my dreams and hope being taken from me. Yes, there is only one way and that is revenge. I have to be the one to have control over them.

Don't turn away (don't give in to the pain)

I made my decision. I was determined to join Falkus to make them all perish. But Raiden tries to stop me not because he loves me but because he is afraid of my worst.

Don't try to hide (though they're screaming your name)

I don’t want to hide anymore. But Raiden seems to want to protect us all from a known future. (Delia’s prediction about Ombra)

Don't close your eyes (God knows what lies behind them)

I am not going to neglect the reality anymore. Falkus offers me his hand, and opposing to Raiden, he is thrilled by what I am capable of.

Don't turn out the light (never sleep, never die)

And Falkus doesn’t want me to stop.

I'm frightened by what I see

But somehow I know that there's much more to come

Killing each and every one of those cultists is undoubtedly a scary set of flights, and once I take the first step, there will be no turning back. But it will quench my rage, and help me feel better; perhaps even the world.

Immobilized by my fear

And soon to be blinded by tears

However, something called fear is always there. I am willingly choosing to be the bad guy. I am crossing the moral codes my parents carved into the back of my mind. If I take Falkus’s hand and leave everything behind, I will become the exact kid my larents would despise. They wouldn’t want someone as pathetic as me to be their child.

Fallen angels at my feet

Whispered voices at my ear

They beg me to raise this hell, those on whom Raiden sees ugly horns of evil.

Death before my eyes

Lying next to me, I fear

She beckons me, shall I give in?

Upon my end, shall I begin

Forsaking all I've fallen for? I rise to meet the end

Shall I abandon everything behind? Shall I abandon the human in me, and become the monster strong enough to destroy another one?

No pressure tags: @scentedcandleibex @darialovesstuff @strangefable @onehornedbeast @loverofthewindgod @ninibear3000 @nightbloodbix @cassieuncaged @candlewax1 @breakfwest @euryalex @captastra @mintspider and anyone else with something to share!

[omargaret]

(♱) ∘ BIO : not spoiler free :/ like heavily. tw : BRIEF mentions of SA, incest, religious abuse.

i. FILM INSPIRED, influenced by headcanons. SUBJECT TO CHANGES. LAST UPDATE : 7/11/2024.

NAME: margaretta emilia daino. ALIAS(ES): maggie, mags, marg, scianna, anya [post-film]. PRONOUNS: she / her / they. BIRTHDAY: june 6th, 6:00 AM. ZODIAC: gemini sun, moon, & rising. SPECIES: human, vessel, jackal. MORAL ALIGNMENT: lawful - chaotic good. ORIGINS: rome, italy. pittsfield, MA. ABILITIES: above average strength, fear inducement, diabolical causality, manipulation (thoughts, emotions, memories), evil empowerment, advanced healing & recovery.

margaret daino is a 21 year old ward of the church, raised in pittsfield, massachusetts & unknowingly herded back to vatican city, under the guise of taking her finals vows, in order to fulfill what they consider to be her birthright. (𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘠, being the radical believers within the catholic church who conspired to impregnate her with the supposed antichrist in the hopes of driving people back into the church). maggie is a mostly devout young woman who believes the many troubles of her youth were only overcome by her commitment to her faith. while in this new place, maggie meets carlita. a young woman who reminds her of herself & turns out to be her 'sister' of sorts. another scianna, planned & conceived by the church. another offspring of the jackal.

despite the church's somewhat barbaric methods of keeping her under control as a child, she was ultimately grateful for the outcome. believing that her hallucinations were cured by their 'care' - rather than repressed by her own will. as the truth of her origins is slowly unraveled, so is her hold on her demonic capabilities which are what truly causes her 'hallucinations'. (more on that here) unfortunately for margaret, it all comes to light far too late. just as the church had planned, maggie conceives & gives birth to twins. one of which they have been waiting for for many years. a boy. damien. while they make off with their creation, maggie, her daughter [damien's twin sister] & the jackal [her birth father who r*ped & impregnated her with the twins], are all left behind to burn. margaret & her daughter are saved by carlita while the jackal continues to burn. from there, they are on the run.

following the events of the film, margaret is now a new, ill - prepared single mother, left to fend for herself, carlita & her daughter. it takes time, but eventually (thanks to the natural death of it's previous owner) the girls acquire a cabin out in the woods & begin to live off the land. margaret teaches herself a lot about food, medicine, & using the resources available to her. she does her best to teach carlita & her daughter once she's old enough, fearing the worst outcome is on it's way to her. that the church will find them.

• religion is a closed box that margaret never again opens, forever scarred by the reality of the life... [the lies] she partook in for so many years. instead, maggie teaches herself & the girls about all kinds of religions, spiritual beliefs, etc. as they navigate the formation of their own sets of values, beliefs, & moral codes.

[erikacousland]

TIKTOK refugees TROLL the US gov and Meta on Chinese Red Note - YouTube

You can't miss these hilarious clips of TikTok refugees trolling and making fun of Meta and the USA Gov't

Literally I'm tears every time when I watching those TIKTOK refugees videos. Looking these beautiful people taking about they being abused by their own government, and their own big corporations, and their own mainstream media makes my heart tears.

*

@MetaView7 Thank you Cotton. Thank you Rubio. Can't wait for them to find out about Xinjiang.

Oh yeah, that my favorite topic!

@AlfredYHV I hope there will be no American moderators in Tiktok in future. I believe Tiktok will be much better without having any US control of my freedom of speech. I am from Singapore btw.

Ouch!

*

@gmanhan8305 $3000 down to $5? I have a conspiracy. The insurance company must put the cost to someone has full coverage. And $5 for labor.

@minimalisticapprentice2288 That 5 dollar medication story really left me speechless 😮

*

@elaineg60 I haven’t stopped laughing and crying (HAPPY tears!!), ALL WEEK!! We KNEW this would happen at some point…I’m just SO thrilled and grateful to the numbnuts in DC for MAKING it happen before I leave this world! Not only will the TRUTH set us FREE-the love, happiness and respect my dear friends are showing to Americans who are FINALLY seeing we have been lied to for decades-actually gives me hope for my one and only grandchild due in March! Now..I just need to keep trying to convince my girls to get to China! 😂 ❤️🇨🇳☮️

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Trust Love is about Volume 9

So, obviously Trust Love is the Volume Seven Opening, but when we compare the themes of Vol7 with Trust Love, it doesn't match up, the song's too upbeat even as a lot of bad stuff starts coming to a head.

There was a fair amount of deceit and trickery, like what Ruby did, Yang and Blake working with the Happy Huntresses, Jacques working with Watts - No one's really genuinely trusting each other, or they are and getting played because of it.

However in Volume 9, we see Ruby struggling to trust herself, love herself, even as WBY make their care and love known throughout the group (Even if Weiss omitted the fact Jaune killed Penny, which will be an issue)

But We really need to read the Lyrics and compare it to what we've seen so far in Vol9 to understand.

Keep dreaming 'bout a better world/Maybe you'll wake up in a world of charm - Perhaps, dream of a better, more simplistic world, where things are easily definable, someplace that's meant to be quaint and charming - Something out of a storybook perhaps?

You're holdin' out for some romantic life - Yang and Blake now very openly flirting is them no longer holding out for it, but rather Reaching out for it, because it's right there. With her.

Oh, but what's here can set you free, you don't have to dream/All your problems would just disappear - Here in the Ever After you can be free of your Burden, like what the Blacksmith tells Ruby, or not carrying the troubles Ruby Rose has, Yet also It could literally be that Ruby is there, and can set them all Free/ She can free herself of her worry and doubt when she remembers/realize What and Who She is and wants to be.

if you just believe Then all you see is all you need - All Ruby needs to do is believe in her Friends and Family, who have been with her and Trust her, and love her. Then the belief She holds for them as well as herself is all she'll need to get them to the tree. She obviously can affect the world - when she cries it rains- It's sort of like Orc 40k logic in that way? I think?

Right now your hopes are shattered (Shattered)/And you're sure all hope is gone - Ruby doesn't have enough hope to fill a jar.

Trust love, the truth is there, but sometimes in disguise/But the lies can't hide what's true when love's alive - Her Love for Penny drew her to her sword both at Jinxy's cart, and in the Blacksmith's place.

Write yourself into a fairytale - Jaune is the Rusted Knight. He's potentially the same knight that Alyx met. Literally written into a fairytale.

And still, you're counting on a second sight To somehow wrest you from the way of harm - Using something of Hindsight from having read the story as children to try and navigate the Ever After, even if it's not all they know it to be.

When what you need to do is see, all you have to be Is here in reality, leave your fantasy - This, I feel, Also calls out Jaune most if not specifically. His Fantasy was to be a Hero! To save people. He's in a fantasy as he is now, not as a killer in reality. But sometimes being a hero isn't all it sounds like it should be. It's hard. Once Jaune realizes that he's a hero despite what he had to do, he'll open his eyes and leave that Fantastical Save-Everyone Get-the-Girl Hero behind. Sometimes being a hero is getting home. Ruby and Yang know what it's like when a Hero doesn't come home. It's why they lost Summer.

There's not a miracle that's gonna show you how The secret to your life is here and now Look inside, end your search and be alive It's time to rise, to realize, to open up your eyes

Both Inside and Trust love are Directly Referencing Each other! Trust Love is the Answer to Inside's question!

When you Open your eyes, Trust what you see, and end that search, you'll find the you inside of you. What you are.

And you, Ruby Rose? You aren't a normal girl with normal knees. You are a Huntress. You are a Leader. You are a Silver Eyed Warrior.

You are Ruby Rose, with all the complexities, upsides, and downfalls that come with it.

There will come the day you've waited for, When you've said goodbye to all the childish things you loved. After everything that's fallen, you and your family still need to Let yourselves Live For Every Life, and only then will you get your Triumph, and Rise, when you Trust Love, look Inside.

Only then will you realize, by burning away the darkness with your love, that you, a singular, young girl, with the weight of the world on your shoulders can win against such an insurmountable enemy.

Because when your soul is honest? When you accept your soul is smaller than Salems?

That is where your victory lies. That is when you win.

[sunflowernyx]

Chapter 1 I Newest chapter

He’s halfway up the stairs, patting his pockets for his keys, when he finds the note. A folded, plain sheet of paper with the inscription in a familiar hand by a manicured hand:

In case you and Dr Scully would like to throw the first stone; there is more than one way to kill a god.

On the other side is an address.

He pockets it.

Mulder knows not to let Spender get in his head, but it’s difficult. He’d painted a picture that kept expanding with very little information and very few admittances on his own meddling in Scully’s life and affairs, but by the time the door opens to his home, Mulder can’t help but wonder if Dana Scully was placed in his path to create a weakness or to spy on him.

Which had been the whole point of Spender’s set-up. It’s never just a one-sided trap, and Mulder knows if he avoids it now there’s a whole minefield ahead of him.

He wants to believe her. He needs her to be who she claims to be so badly. For himself and for Emily. Because for once in his life, he wants to be able to do the right thing by the people in his life.

And it would be easy too, coming back home to the vision that greets him as he steps into the living room.

Golden light falls across bookshelves, couches and half-empty mugs of cooling cacao, warming the skin of the girl and the woman curled up sound asleep in a nest of blankets and pillows. The television flickers silently on the midpoint of a family film, keeping them company in the night without disturbing their rest.

Scully’s knees curl up and her arm goes around the little girl, whose head is nestled under her chin, her cheek rounding against Scully’s shoulder. And  it is so peaceful, so picturesque, that Mulder could easily delude himself into imagining this to have been what he came home to for many months already, that it is, has always been, and always will be the norm.

He crosses the carpet on soft feet and kneels by the two girls to brush his fingers lightly down from Scully’s temple to her chin.

The hood of her eyelids slides up, revealing the clear blue sky below, and he watches the clouds of sleep clear with momentary pleasure.

“Mulder?” She murmurs, void deep with sleep.

Her arm tightens carefully around Emily.

“‘Morning,” he greets her. “Sorry for coming back so late. I know you have work in the evening.”

“It’s okay,” she says, and he knows she means it. “How’s the case going?”

Her hand brushes over Emily’s head in a caress light enough it doesn’t wake her.

“Slow,” he admits. “Thanks for watching her for me. I know it can’t have been easy to get time off work.”

Scully hesitates, and he can see it in her face; the war between greedily wanting time with her daughter and her practicality. If he had not reminded her of work he’s sure she would’ve asked if he needed a babysitter the next day too, and the next.

It makes him want to do dumb, reckless things.

Scully has been in their lives for only a handful of weeks, and in that time she has spent every free moment she could manage getting to know Emily. It’d meant a Saturday at the zoo, and another drinking hot chocolate by an ice rink.

He’d taken a Tuesday off on an invitation to visit a lab with her at the University of Maryland, where they’d done the DNA testing assuring everyone that there was no doubt in terms of familial connection. Afterwards they’d gone for a walk in the park, below the snow covered trees and Mulder had swung Emily up on his shoulders, while Scully brought them hot churros, and not for the first time had he considered what they might look like to passers-by. How easy it would be if that image weren’t just a superficial reflection on the water, hiding a much deeper, more murky truth.

“The rest of my duties on this involve paperwork and leading meetings, though,” he says in the present. “So I’ll be home at regular times from now on.”

“Oh. That’s good,” she lies.

And Mulder, he—

He almost laughs. Sleepy and adorable and transparent, he doesn’t think Dana Scully could lie even if she tried.

“Which means I’ll have time and space for dinner,” he clarifies, unable to keep his smile to himself. “This was your first time alone with Emily tonight, and I thought we should keep the momentum going so she really gets used to you. What do you say?”

Start chapter here

[peerlessscowl]

The soft scent of lilacs lingers as Poe finds her next table, undaunted by the relative chaos of others around her bustling about in their own attempts at finding their ways.

Eventually, her work is rewarded and she spots her next seat, indicated by her name on the card sitting atop it. Already sitting there is another, to whom she gives a polite bow in due courteousness and apology for the delay. Quickly, she looks at the topic they have been assigned.

"Three statements regarding ourselves this time, is it? What a curious set of prompts they've set out for us," she comments, seemingly amused. Well, she isn't opposed to having to play a bit of a game to learn more about he whom she is about to sit before—it's not all that different than her usual, come to think of it. The girl takes her seat, swiping her skirt beneath her and bringing her free hand to her face in careful thought. "Let me think. How about, in no particular order: I quite enjoy horticulture, I am proficient in a variety of magical arts from various continents..."

Finally, she comes up with a third, and her eyes settle on her partner at the table, looking satisfied with herself.

"And I believe strongly that all can be absolved of sin."

Even though he knew now what to expect, Raven still found himself adrift, simmering with an indignation which had no outlet, and discomfited by the flurry of excitement around him. It reminded him, if anything, of events of his childhood, being paraded for the fathers of minor noble or knightly houses to secure a match.

He nodded politely at the girl, but tempered the ingrained urge to jump to his feet while she seated herself.

She seemed pleasant enough, well-kept and well-spoken, and gamely addressed the topic that they were to discuss - two truths and a lie. The sour of pile spit in his throat, but he kept his face carefully blank, just this side of listening courteously, while the girl Poe spoke, immediately listing off her contribution to the conversation.

Horticulturist - he smelt the waft of perfume before she entered his line of sight, but that didn't necessarily mean she tended the plants herself, it could merely have been a pretty affectation for someone who clearly cared about outward presentation.

Mage - the easiest truth to distinguish of the bunch. Soft and slight of form, Raven couldn't have pictured a physical weapon in her hands, even in the direst circumstance. Whether the multicultural proficiency was a brag or exaggeration remained to be seen, but for the moment he'd no need to doubt her on it.

Sin. A ripple of tension coursed through his shoulders, and his brow furrowed. He'd no bead on her religious inclinations, but the fact that she'd brought it up at all indicated strong feelings on the subject. It made sense, he supposed, as Garreg Mach was as much a religious institution as it was a martial educative one.

A strong introduction, whether she'd intended it or not. He felt merely the slightest pang of guilt - her earnest attempt at playing the game as it was meant to be played, to be met with...well, him.

"Horticulture is fascinating - my...my mother had extensive gardens, when I was young. I...I helped her, sometimes." First, to the matter of courtesy - the scripts had not left him entirely, despite this habit of noble small talk not having ever come to him easily. But at the very least, he knew to acknowledge what she'd said, before talking about himself.

Shaking his head, he added, "I don't know much of magic, I'm afraid." A look at him might have pegged this as obvious, but what he left out was that he'd enough experience against mages in battle that he might have been able to peg them as foreign or otherwise from that alone.

A beat. "Nor can I say much for sin. Are you seeking a future in the clergy?"

Leaning back from the table, he rubbed his knuckles against the back of his head, frowning. "I'm not a very good liar," he lied, "but I suppose...I'm left-handed, I was born during a particularly hot summer, and I find it hard to get up to make prayers in the morning. Prefer sleeping in late," he added, clarifying.

[popcorndiet]

I hated myself for so long. I wanted to be like the girls you only see on this app. Unobtainable gods we worshiped with our starvation. Offering our meals to this delusion of perfection. The fear after each little bite that it wouldn’t be pleased with me. The truth was, no matter how much I purged or how much I sacrificed, it was never pleased with me and no matter how hard I imagined being skinnier would make me finally love myself, it never, ever did.

As a cry for help or perhaps an attempt to answer my dying hopes, my body developed cancer to fulfil my dreams. I finally achieved the sickly, weak body I had always dreamed of! My knees can barely hold myself up and don’t even get me started on trying to run. My hair was finally starting to fall out in clumps! Just like how all the perfect skinny girls on this app warned me about. And the headaches! There’s a reason you never see them. It’s because they are trapped inside their houses, it hurts their joints to walk and they are too fatigued to do the things they once enjoyed.

I believe these self hating thoughts contributed to my disease. I am sick and my body has been begging my to realize that it is sick on many, many levels. I don’t want to be trapped anymore. I want my sentence to be over and set myself free. Please, if you are struggling, reach out and find help. This is not worth it. It will take you down and down and you will never achieve the perfect life you think comes with being skinny. It is all a delusion. We’ve been lied to since childhood and we need to love ourselves. If anyone is struggling that is reading this, know that you are enough. Love your body and feed it nourishing foods. You’ll regret not sooner or later.

We were all too young on this app and it fucked with our heads. Have compassion for your Inner child. Why would you want to starve such a naive little thing?

[healinghoneybee]

Waterfalls and the tiniest of flowers

Sometimes it feels like my heart is too deep and sensitive for this ever-in-flux, (heedless, brash, remorseless?) world. If I give up control and allow you to hold my heart in your hands, I ask that you please be careful with it and show up with consistency and integrity and humility. With the regular examination and awareness and ownership and sharing of the state of your own heart and evolution of self. Well, now I know to ask. With curious, boundaried-love and respect for the both of us.

Life has cracked me open and I am working to heal and fill the cracks with liquid gold. 

I have cried out for the ones I loved to have faith in me and see the gifts of my deep feeling. I have been rejected and left and invalidated and ignored and forgotten and told by my ex lover to leave me alone. My body cried to travel down to the pain of my childhood wounds and neglect, the betrayals and violations and let downs. I went and felt and I survived. I expanded the space to hold hard things and beautiful things at the same time. And now that I have already been denied, I am free to be more of me. Larger and louder and full of myself because I have nothing to lose. The only one left standing to love me is me. The only one to give myself reconciliation is me. If you are not willing, I must be willing in entirety.

What once felt shaky and full of doubt inside is settling. I am no longer a confused little girl packing my Winnie-the-Pooh trunk to run away from home. I am no longer anticipating rejection, my hands tied, body waiting for the punch.  My body led me to face deep, ancient truths and I am starting to trust what I know to be true today - My love was always beautiful, calm, ethereal, wholehearted, and steady. It remains this way when you leave. 

Medicine reveals that hurts were real and worthy of acknowledgement, patience, and compassion. My pain deserved a conscientious apology and response. But your choice to hang it up and failure to hold space is not a reflection on me or what I shared. I am expanding, learning to hold space for myself, for what makes us squirm, bypass, deny. And I do not belong in the story you tell. I am left with no choice but to create my own world and affirm my own worthiness. 

In my medicine dream, I was pulled in by lovely persuasions. Come over here. I tried and I tried to listen to the faint seed inside me. I was confused if frightened rabbits were always frightened without cause. Men looked at me strange, like fear was stupid. So I held them and shushed them and told them to trust the magician with jazzy hands and beautiful kaleidoscope-coloured wonders that turned into snakes, that I could not look at directly, like the burning sun. 

Suddenly, he backed away and I was left in confusion. The dream was real but the magic was illusive and elusive. I thought we agreed to create together, but I’m left alone wondering if I was the magician all along? 

Left floating in black orbit with nothing but the tiniest of flowers. 

And then I awoke to a new dream and it goes like this:

When the ones I wish to share love with 

approach my love with a gentle, steady presence

when they have retired flash-in-the-pan magic and are willing to give an honest account of what lies inside, check engine lights and squeaky breaks and all.

when they have taken the time and pain alone to know what I have gotten to know, dirty shiny gut flora and all

when they demonstrate that their eyes are wide open to see and value the art of my love with sustained attention,

that they want to let me set the pace and walk slowly beside me, hand-in-hand

crouching down to see the most precious and quiet and tiniest of flowers

as the waterfalls and wind rage thunderously around us

I believe I will be able to hear the brave, calm seed within

I believe I will be able to stare in wonder at its soft, radiant light

I believe I will be able to create its colourful patterns to reflect my essence and shine

The dream is real and I’m already sitting with the tiniest of flowers

[rainbowuniversepageantsys]

Inner Beauty Tip Piggyback: Tell the Truth!

*Indigo is the color of the rainbow that represents truth. Truth be told it’s very hard for people to tell the truth.

*I think of dating apps and sites that ask clients to name 3 things you want your ideal guy or girl to be and honesty is always at the top of the list because we all want to be with an honest person not a liar. Liars don’t fare well with anyone unless they are a liar too.  But sometimes we all feel the need as the some point to tell a fib or a little white lie. It’s almost impossible not to fib as we carry on in life so we get out of something or into something that we think we need at the time.  Why then if we want an honest partner is it so hard for us to be honest? I read or hear psychologists always say “Be the person you want your future spouse to be so you attract the right person” but we usually fall short of this because we all have our own agenda. Sure we truly want to be seen as an honest person so people will love being around us, and bathe in our indigo light and be beautiful and trust us. But is that even honest? Is it true? Too many people think it’s ok to lie so they get by and they get what they want and that means telling lies and making up stuff. As someone with a psychology background I know and have observed that truth will indeed set us free but it’s not easy to come by. Everything is psychology which is the study of human behavior so I know human behavior is to lie to get what we want. If that’s true, why can’t we tell the truth to get what we want?

Let’s look at reasons or scenarios about shy we feel the need to lie in the first place:

To get attention – people make up stories to pull people in or get closer to them (we lie about our age to appear younger so we will be more accepted)

To get what you think you want – money, sex drugs, alcohol, fame, etc.

To not look bad or to save face – lie about reasons we are late for work, why we don’t have our rent on time, why we have to work late, the dog ate our homework, etc.

To appear interesting – pretend to be someone we are not

To fit in – social media posts about our amazing life, trips, vacations, fake relationships

To protect ourselves and other from reality (reality bites) – it’s painful, heartbreaking and raw

To be seen as competent so people will trust us (ironic)

To avoid uncomfortable emotions – conversations with people who have to be right or avoid unpleasant “talks”

You become the boy who cried wolf and you don’t know yourself very well

If you don’t get any of the things above as a result of your lie then the lie was for nothing and you look ugly.

*Truth is powerful and yes it can get you in trouble but wouldn’t it be better to reveal the truth and be respected and forgiven and seen as an honest person rather than a liar who can’t be trusted?

I say yes! Why:

Holding on to lies suffocates you

Because truth will surely set you free of the suffocation and worry that you will be caught in a lie – no more hiding nor looking over your shoulder

Because truth airs everything out and clears everything up like the angst, the frustration and the fear of holding on to a lie that could be harming someone or putting them in danger until you tell the truth

Satan is the rue liar and if we cater to lies then we cater to satan, we become satan worshippers (demons mess with our heads also and tell us lies that we sometimes believe about others and about ourselves)

Your true self can be seen, heard and is known – if you sit on a lie that can change the course of anything then you are hiding your true self. No one can see who you really truly are if you lie all the time

You will be putting your best foot forward and building a solid, golden reputation of honesty that people can trust (trust seal, etc.) – people want others to trust them so they say “you have our word”, we see trust symbols and seals at the bottom of websites like a BBB logo, promise pacts, In God we Trust is in every court room, the word approved or approval is well-received when we apply for credit or anything else)

You will be building a legacy for future generations and for your own kids (if they know you are honest they will be more likely to be honest too) our kids are watching us like hawks. If we tell our son Bobby or our daughter Susan to tell the truth and they hear or see us lie they will think “well mom or dad isn’t very honest so I don’t have to be either”.

You feel better about yourself when you get something heavy off or your chest

You will have cleaner thoughts, think on a higher level of consciousness, feel lighter, trust yourself and your decisions or choices, have better more honest relationships, truly value your connections as meaningful worthy of truth telling

You will open doors for honest people to be put in your path so you can trust your team, partners, friends, and associates, school or classmates

Here are some tests or challenges to marinate on:

Take a drunk boss or drunk friend home, how will you treat them when you drop them off? Will you steal from them, harm their body or leave them somewhere unsafe?

You have a cute girl in your car and she is unconscious from too many drugs or sick or maybe she fell and hit her head. Do you take her home or to the hospital? What if her body is exposed? What do you do? Find some clothes to put on her or take advantage of her being unconscious and mentally debilitated?

Your mom leaves her wallet in your car after you dropped her off to her Dr. Appt. because her car is in the shop. What do you do? Do you steal money from her wallet? Do you run in the office and give it to her or wait until later and play mind games with her and see if she notices it being gone?

You are in a committed relationship and a seductress gets in your face and tempts you to get sexual with her. What do you do? Do you say no honoring your commitment and your girlfriend or do you give in to her hoping your girlfriend will never find out?

You cheat on your girlfriend or boyfriend and the opportunity arises to test your love do you spill the beans? Or do you keep quiet about it nervous all the time but glad you didn’t say anything?

Your bestie just got some cute expensive new earrings for her birthday but she doesn’t want to wear them until homecoming next month so she puts them away in a jewelry box on her dresser. When she leaves the room to grab some sodas for you two do you steal them since she won’t know they are missing until next month?

You fall in love with a person who has A-1 credit and your credit sucks. You find out later that this person only wants to marry someone with the same credit as they have so they can trust their spouse. Do you tell them about your credit issues to see how they respond or do you carry on with the relationship hoping they won’t care later if you decide to get married?

Your drama teacher wants to give the lead role in a new play to your brother and you have been pinning over this role for a while now. You are told your brother needs to call the drama teacher by tonight to accept the offer. Do you tell him? Or do you deliberately say nothing so he loses the role?

You land an awesome job but you have to have reliable transportation to work some wacky strange hours. You have no car but you want this job bad. Do you take the risk and pretend to have reliable transportation or do you tell the truth about your transportation challenge and risk losing your dream job?

*Honest people have a peace about them, a calm mental stability that says truth is all there is and that sits well with them and makes them beautiful.

Bottom line: truth helps you accept yourself better, accept others better and all the flaws and mistakes that come with them, helps you see things more clearly, helps you make better and more sound decisions, helps you feel free and unchained to a bunch of lies weighing you down, truth can save a life, truth gives you peace, truth will guide you to your true destiny, truth will get you to your soulmate, truth will get you what you want at the right time you are supposed to have it which means things will ebb and flow naturally, smoothly, kindly, lovingly and rightly.

Tell the truth and be beautiful!

[two-birds-alone-together]

If you're playing the ask game, 19, 22, 25 <3

I wasn't, but I love you too much to let this die in my inbox ❤️ Guess I need to share the post now!

19. A new genre or style you tried

I set a challenge for myself in withered into ugly things: Ellie never refers to herself by name. The only times her name appears in the story are in dialogue.

Also, the letter writing type was my first attempt at a journal/diary-style fic!

22. An idea you had that didn't make the cut

Direct from the idea notes:

Canon AU wherein Riley and Ellie go to the mall, but only Ellie is bitten. They go to Marlene for help. Riley is still shipped out of Boston, and everything goes the same until they get to St. Mary's... where Riley is.

Riley supposed to join a group in another city, what if that is the SLC group and she’s there when Ellie and Joel get to slc. Riley finds Joel, brings him to OR. Riley kills Anderson and/or Marlene 1- Joel takes the blame so Ellie won’t hate Riley.   2- Joel/Riley lies, other backs it up 3- They tell the truth Abby kills Joel bc she knew Riley and none of them believed she would have shot Anderson. Riley confesses after Joel’s funeral.

25. A scene or image that lives rent-free in your head

From 2024: a hopeful stranger, Chapter 8 (November Part IV)

Ellie gets up and darts into the bathroom to grab the box of tissues on the counter before making her way back over to Joel and once again claiming her spot against his side, cuddling closer when Joel’s arm falls around her shoulders. “Sometimes sleeves make my eyes hurt worse, and you don’t have on like, a super soft shirt,” she explains when he raises his eyebrows at the box. Joel’s expression crumples and he tugs her closer, his breath hitching noticeably as he presses his nose to her scalp. “How’d I manage to wrangle a thoughtful girl like you, hm?” he murmurs into her hair. Ellie doesn’t bother to restrain her emotions since Joel isn’t. When she speaks, she knows it sounds like she’s crying and for once she doesn’t care. But, like, she doesn’t want to cry all night, so it’s time to lighten things up. “Good luck wranglin’ me, dude. I’m like a wild horse that you have to tame. You probably know all about horses ‘cause you’re from Texas, right?” She expects Joel to scoff or say something about how Austin is a city because whenever she insists that he’s Billy the Kid reincarnated, that’s what he says. One time, he used half a roll of packing tape to trap her in his desk chair for a half-hour-long YouTube video of some rando driving around Austin. Joel even got up to put a piece of scotch tape over her mouth when she wouldn’t stop complaining. There wasn’t even commentary on the video. It was just fucking dashcam footage with the sounds of someone in an otherwise-silent car and it was boring as shit. (Until the driver turned on the wipers and Ellie whooped loudly: “Finally, something interesting!” Joel exploded a can of soda all over. Then he dared to glower and grump at her until she volunteered to clean the floor if he’d stop bitching.) Joel squeezes her painfully tight, pressing a fierce kiss to the top of her head. “I don’t never wanna see you tamed, Ellie girl. I like you just fine wild.”

"I like you just fine wild" is my favorite line I've ever written, ever. I'm planning to have it tattooed to my ankle as part of a line tattoo with a giraffe on the outside of my ankle and Ellie and Joel's profiles on the other, with like you just fine wild connecting the two images.

And you didn't ask, but this WIP scene lives rent-free as well. From a modern AU tentatively titled stepping in your direction (taken from -- shocker of shockers -- I Don't Know Anything by Sara Bareilles).

She subtly checks over her shoulder as she rounds the corner.  Still there, trailing her by a quarter of a block.  Ellie scans the street for anyone who looks friendly enough to help her.  She zeroes in on the closest people — two men walking side by side — and sizes them up.  Similar features and build, clothes dirty as if they’ve been working outside, one wearing a wedding ring.  She’ll take her chances; what are the odds of encountering three creeps at once? “Oh, hey!” she calls, her expression as pleading as possible. Please, she mouths. “What are you guys doing here?”  She locks eyes with the grumpier one, who gives her just the slightest nod. The less-grumpy one scans her up and down, then track to something behind Ellie.  “Howdy, darlin’,” he drawls with a smile, opening his arms. Her luck can’t be so bad that she encounters three creeps at once.  Can it?  When the back of her neck prickles, sensing the weirdo behind her, she pushes the thought aside in favor of throwing her arms around the man. “Tan jacket?” he whispers into her ear. With a nod, Ellie pastes on a smile and allows the man to rest his hand on her shoulder, guiding her to stand between the two men.  “Me an’ Uncle Joel are grabbin’ dinner.  Why don’t you join us?” “Have you ever known me to say no to food?” 

Send me some Arist and Fic Writer EOY Asks!

[lillynigerianlitblog]

Week 13 Nigerian Blog

The most important quote of the week from, “Yinka, where is your huzband” is on page 259. Yinka is in the hospital after  her baby sister gave birth to her first child. With all her family around now they see it as a perfect chance to catch up since they’ve all been so distracted with their own personal life and the baby mothers new born child. As her mom and aunt that she calls “big mommy” press her about her new job and new boyfriend Alex, Yinka just can’t take it anymore. She can't bear the lies she’s been telling to anyone and she realizes that lying is what first got her into this mess and lying will not help her out of it. The only thing to do next is tell the truth no matter what the reaction may be or how hard it will be. Yinka goes on to say “doesn’t it say somewhere in the Bible that the truth will set you free? Or is that cool from liar, liar? Either way, it’s true.” She finally opens up and tells them that she lost her job, never got the promotion and Alex likes someone else.. Her sister.

First week back reading this book, I almost forgot what was going onnn. These couple of pages I read with my first week back were really good. I was only back for four days so I started a little late. I picked this as the most important quote of the week because it was about time Yinka dropped the act! I mean how long could she really lie for. It was getting embarrassing and she couldn’t even keep up with her own lies at this point. Yinka has been lying to her mom for weeks about having this promotion because she was too scared to hear her mother's judgment. As a Nigerian girl, I understand where she is coming from because I know how harsh African parents can be on their children. They usually have really high expectations of us because they didn’t have all the opportunities we have so they just want us to make the most of it and be better than them. But still, telling your parents news like this is hard and their reaction is harder. As for Alex. That news was like a bomb. It was crazyyy. When I read that my mouth really dropped, because Yinka truly believed he was the one. If you remember, she had a whole plan and everything. She really liked him and believed he really liked her.. But he was getting close to Yinka  just to get close to her sister. Crazy. Heartbreaking. Painful. But, I think just ripping the bandaid off and telling your parents the news already will help her mend her wounds rather than keeping it to herself and lying to everyone. Speaking from personal experience I would know.