#lie Ren

[arc-misadventures]

I know it's a day early but I have to put it out now

Friends AU: After team RWBY throws a big Halloween/Birthday Party that involves all of Atlas and part of Mantle, how does the gang react to finding out Jaune never went to the party because he never got an invite even though Team RWBY all swear they invited him?

One Invitation Short

Ruby: WHOOO!

Ruby: It's my birthday~!

Nora: Let's fucking party!

Yang: Happy birthday sis!

Blake: Halloween birthday party! WHOO!

Ren: Happy birthday, Ruby.

Weiss: Congratulations, Ruby.

Penny: This is my first friends birthday party I've ever attended.

Oscar: Mine too.

Yang: Then we'll have to make sure this is one hell of a party!

Ren: But, not too big of a party. The janitorial staff haven't been looking at us kindly since the soda bottle rocket incident...

Weiss: Hey don't look at me like that. That was totally their fault!

Nora: Hey, it was an accident!

Weiss: You got pink soda all over me!

Ruby: We said we were sorry!

Weiss: My clothes are still in the drycleaners getting all the pink out of my clothes!

Yang: I have some photos of her all drenched in cream soda, wanna see?

Blake: Oh please!

Weiss: Noooo!

Blake: HA! Oh you look like a princess from a kids book in a pink dress!

Yang: Pfft! Oh shit, she does!

Weiss: guys?!

Ruby: Don't worry, Weiss, you'll always be beautiful even in pink!

Weiss: Shut up...

Nora: Don't be a downer guys! Let's eat some cake, and celebrate!

Yang: Yeah! I want some cake!

Oscar: What kind of cake is it?

Ren: Cookies, and cream.

Oscar: I've never had that before.

Weiss: Me either, it sounds nice.

Yang: Alright everyone around the table so we can sing happy birthday, and eat the cake.

Nora: Cake!

Blake: Okay.

Ruby: I'm so excited.

Yang: Okay, birthday girl is in the main seat... Penny... Weiss, Blake... Nora, and Ren... Oscar, and Penny have a seat. And, we're just waiting on you, Ja...?

Yang: ...?

Yang: Wait...? Where's, Jaune?

Weiss: He's here... right?

Nora: Y-You guys invited him... right?

Yang: Well... I was going to tell him, but I got dragged away on a mission, so I asked, Blake to do it.

Blake: I remember, Yang asked me to tell him. And, I was going to tell him! but, then I saw that there was this sushi restaurant... and, I haven't had sushi in so long... A-And, I heard, Mantle sushi is really well know for how good it is... and... s-sushi...

Yang: Uhh, Blake...? Blake? (Snap, Snap, Snap!) Hey, stay with us!

Blake: Sorry! I went to the sushi restaurant, and I sent a message to, Weiss to have her tell him instead.

Weiss: I remember that call; I was going to complain to, Blake about dumping her responsibility on me. But, she sounded like a junkie needing her fix when she was talking about that sushi restaurant.

Yang: That...! That sounds true...

Ruby: Yeah, she enters this weird trance when it comes to sushi...

Nora: It rather scary really...

Weiss: Well I decided to tell, Jaune so, Blake could get her... fix... And, I was about to tell him...! And, then the soda bottle incident happened...?!

Nora: Sorry...

Weiss: And, you all know what happened... So, while I went to get changed, and have a shower. So I asked, Ruby to do instead.

Ruby: And, I did!

Nora: If you did, then why isn't, Jaune here?

Ruby: I don't know?! I went to him during dinner, we chatted about out missions, and then I handed him this handmade invitation letter!

Weiss: A handmade invitation?

Ruby: Yes!

Weiss: That same letter that's in your hands, right now...?

Ruby: Ya, this the same lett...?!

Ruby: Oh...?

Ruby: Oh shoot...

Nora: So... you all weren't able to tell, Jaune about the party because you were distracted by one thing, or another... And, when you finally got to him, you didn't hand him the invitation?!

Ruby: Sorry...

Yang: I got called away...

Blake Sushiiiiiiiii~!

Weiss: I'm not apologizing...

Nora: Ohh... Penny?!

Penny: Yes, Friend Nora?

Nora: D-Did you send, Jaune a message?

Penny: Let me check.

Penny: ...

Penny: I do not have, Jaune Arc in my list of contacts...? Odd... I must preform a self-diagnostic...

Penny: Scanning...

Penny: System corruption located... Fixing.

Penny: Fixed! The contact information of one, Jaune Arc has been found!

Penny: I shall contact him, and hopefully, Friend Jaune will come join us soon!

Nora: Awesome!

Weiss: Oh thank goodness, hopefully, Jaune will join us soon.

Yang: Yes, it wouldn't be a party without my best blond pal!

Ruby: Hopefully he will come here soon, and we can continue the party, and...

Penny: What...?!

Yang: Is... is something wrong, Penny?

Penny: Jaune just replied to my invitation... He said, 'No thank you...'

Nora: What?!

Ruby: Jaune... rejected the invitation... to... to my birthday party...?

Penny: I'm afraid so...

Ruby: But... why...?

Penny: I... I don't know...

Ruby: But...?!

Penny: I'm sorry, Ruby.

Ruby: ...

Ruby: I see...

Ren: We did it again... we failed our friend...

Nora: What are you talking about, Ren...? We're not, Jaune's friend... We never were...

RWBYNPRP: ...

Ruby: ...

Ruby: FUCK!!!

~~~

Winter: Who was that?

Jaune: No one important... Sorry about that interruption, Sir.

Ironwood: That's alright, Mr. Arc. Now then, tell me what is it that you wanted to talk about?

Jaune: Winter made me an offer the other day, and I wanted to know, what would my duties be if I accepted her offer, and became, a Specialist.

[howlingday]

Nora: Yeah, but at least it wasn't as bad as our first kiss, right, Renny~?

Ren: Nora, you say that like you're proud your threw yourself at me and distracted us from Tyrian murdering a room full of innocent people.

Nora: Wait, are you not? And besides, I didn't need a magical fairy-land to tell me to make out with my future husband because I could never get my feelings out to actually say it!

Yang: (Cracks knuckles)

Nora: You ain't so big.

Jaune: Babe, do you ever feel…I don’t know…jealous? Of Blake and Yang?

Pyrrha: Because their first kiss DIDN’T involve a desperate fight for everyone’s life that almost resulted in one of their deaths and several months of trust issues that set their relationship back? 😭

Jaune: I was going to say “because their daughter’s cat ears help them figure out her moods,” but now I regret bringing it up…

[everyones-berry]

What if they went on vacation 👀

[howlingday]

Weiss: Hey, where's the Arc creature?! I've got a bone to pick with him~!

NPR: (Point)

Weiss: (At a grave) A... Arc...?

Jaune: (Behind her, Wipes his brow) Phew~! Gravediggin' ain't easy~!

Weiss: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK~!

[novankenn]

Pyrrha and Ren rush through the door to Professor Goodwitch's office. Both out of breath.

Glynda: Good you made it. Now. Ms Nikos. Mr Ren. Do either of you know where Ms Arc and Ms Valkyrie happen to be?

Pyrrha: I though they had detention with... you?

Glynda: Mr Ren, how about you?

Ren: What. Did. They. Do?

Glynda: Apparently they decided NOT to show up for detention, but instead went down to Vale... unescorted.

Ren: *face palms*

Pyrrha: *pinches the bridge of her nose*

Glynda: *picks up a remote* Currently the VPD are looking for them after Ms Arc sprung Ms Valkyrie from an ambulance... would you like to see the footage?

Glydna: Now if Ms Arc would put that type of effort into her training, she would be a model student.

Pyrrha: *drooling at the sight of Joan's swaying behind*

Ren: How did you get that footage, and why was Nora in an ambulance?

Glynda: Camera drone. All you can eat pancake buffet.

Ren: *face palms*

Glydna: So while we WAIT for Ms Arc and Ms Valkyrie to reappear at the bullhead station, like they do EVERYTIME they commit a crime... I need to speak with you both, as their partners...

Pyrrha: *still drooling* We'll do what we can, but it's difficult, they both have so much energy.

Ren: It's like trying to coral a pair of cocaine fueled Tasmanian devils.

Glynda: Well I do have a solution...

Pyrrha: You do? We'll do anything!

Ren: Yes! Please! Anything!

Glynda: Good, then here is my solution... Ms Nikos... for the love of the brothers pull Joan into your bed show her, how much you love her and DO NOT let her out of it until neither of you can walk!

Pyrrha: *faints*

Glynda: *points at Ren* You put a baby in Ms Valkyrie before the end of term!

Ren: *faints*

Glynda: Glad we had this chat. When you come to you may leave.

[howlingday]

Ren: Here's the status update.

Ren: The good news is that Jaune did eat 40,000 bananas in one sitting, so... there's that.

Ren: More importantly, the bad news is Jaune's body has absorbed so much potassium that his body has kicked into hyper-drive and has become what I can only equate to a living, breathing version of DC's The Flash in motion and is running around as a yellow blur.

Ren: So... Help?

Ruby:

Weiss: Bananas are slightly Radioactive. If you ate 40,000 Bananas in ten minutes, you would die frmo radioactive poisoning.

Yang: Ah yes, The RADIATION Would kill you!

[drenosa]

Thanksgiving Centerpieces, with RWBY & JNPR!

RWBY:

Ruby and Yang are countryside girls, so unsurprisingly the pair decide to shock their partners with the unholy Turducken. The chicken, stuffed in a duck, stuffed in a turkey is, by and large, genuinely delicious. It's just... a lot.

Both Ruby and Yang easily go for a second and a third and even fourth serving. Weiss and Blake tap-out with barely finishing their first plate.

Despite the culinary mess that preceded the meal, both Weiss and Blake appreciated Ruby and Yang's work and effort. By the end of the day, it was clear that the team had become closer than the days before.

JNPR:

If you think the Turducken is unholy, Nora bowls everyone over with her own abomination involving stuffing birds in larger birds.

The Ostmuwary.

Take a Cassowary, stuff it in an Emu, and stuff that in an Ostrich.

Jaune and Pyrrha will never know where Nora got the birds from. She just arrived with them one day. Some of the plucked feathers adorn her tattered uniform and tell a silent story. The duo thought it best to not ask. Ren was silent on the matter, but was seen preparing an outdoor oven to fit the large bird trifecta.

Jaune and Pyrrha were not in the slightest prepared to witness Nora eating a whole 50% of the crime against nature. The duo knew Nora had an appetite, but this was... something else. Ren remains silent on the matter, only motioning for a second helping.

Jaune and Pyrrha did not expect the thing to taste as well as as it did. Jaune, coming from a large family where battling at the table for scraps and extra servings was common, surprised himself as he plated up again. Pyrrha, normally on a more stricter diet due to her athletics career and sponsorship demands was actually glad to just eat to her heart's content, plating up alongside Jaune for another full plate. Ren remains silent on the matter, but his small smile as he shifted a food-comatose Nora away told everyone his thoughts.

[rubyfunkey]

half-maiden scribbles

[pilot-boi]

A bird and his babies

Any guy can be a babygirl, but it takes a man to be a single mother

[rainbow-zebra-art]

This drawing was done for my Boosty! You can download the full-sized version here. ____

The idea was suggested by my subscriber: "any characters you want watching a fireworks show". So! It's some celebration in Vacuo. Beautiful fireworks are unfolding over the desert, everyone is watching the show... And I imagined Emerald finally relaxing and letting her guard down at this moment in front of her new companions 😌

[chantaldraw]

"...because you did start something."

[arc-misadventures]

The Emerald Dress

Coco: No!

Rin: But...?!

Coco: NO!

Rin: But, what if I...?!

Coco: I said, NO!

Jaune: Coco, what's wrong?

Coco: Since your team won the Vytal Festival, you are of cause going to the, Champion's Ball.

Jaune: Okay.

Coco: So, while this is a black tie event. So she needs to dress appropriately for it. And, I managed to get a few dresses for, Nora, and Pyrrha.

Jaune: I saw those dresses you chose for them; Absolutely stunning. You've really outdone yourself.

Coco: Twas an easy task to accomplish~! But, Rin here! She's being a problem...!

Jaune: What did you do?

Rin: I said I don't need a new dress, I'll just wear the one I had at the dance we had at, Beacon a few weeks ago.

Coco: You will not wear that thing!

Jaune: Ah. I see you thought it was bland too, Coco.

Coco: Bland?! Porridge is bland; that thing has a much character as a blindfold is useful for a blind man!

Jaune: Ohhh.. ouch...

Rin: It wasn't that bad...

Coco: That's why! For this dance I have found the perfect dress for, Rin to wear... And, she is refusing to wear it!

Jaune: Why?

Rin: Because I don't need another dress! I'm fine with the one I have. But, Coco says I can't! Something about crimes against fashion...

Jaune: Well, do you know what kind of dress she wants you to wear?

Rin: Well... N-No...

Jaune: Well then. Why don't you see it, and then make your judgement.

Rin: ...

Rin: Fine...

Jaune: Excellent! Coco, the dress?

Rin: Finally...

~~~

Coco: Ta-da~!

Jaune: (Whistles~!)

Jaune: My oh my, you have out done yourself yet again, Coco.

Rin: ...

Coco: Did you expect anything else~?

Jaune: No, I'm just impressed.

Coco: So, what do you think, Rin?

Rin: It's... It's really pretty...

Coco: Ha! Told you~!

Rin: But...

Coco: But...?

Rin: It's too pretty for me... It won't good on me...

Coco: Excuse me?

Jaune: What?! What are you talking about, Rin? You'll look absolutely divine in this dress! You'll be the most beautiful person at the ball.

Rin: Y-You really think so...?

Jaune: I know it.

Rin: ...

Rin: I-If I wear this dress... W-Will you share a... a dance with me...?

Jaune: Well, I promised a dance with, Nora, and Pyrrha. But, all you need to do ask, and I'll dance the whole night away with you.

Rin: Oh... T-Thank you, Jaune...

Jaune: My pleasure, Rin.

Coco: Ohhh~?

Rin: Okay... shall we try on the dress now, Coco?

Coco: sure, get behind the curtain, I'll join you in a moment to help you put it on.

Rin: Okay.

Jaune: ...

Jaune: Nice going, Coco. Rin will look beautiful in that dress.

Coco: I aim to please. Now shoo! I need to help the little lady.

Jaune: Alright, alright I'm going!

Coco: Oh! One more thing before you go.

Jaune: Yes?

Coco: Be careful out there, Jaune; If you play your cards right, the party won't end at the ball~!

Jaune: ...

Jaune: Wha...?

[superiorsturgeon]

Jaune: Thanks for helping me take my mind off of my big meeting with Miss Goodwitch this afternoon. She scares the heck out of me… 😰

Pyrrha: Well, if a quick sparring session helps you forget about it then I’m happy to help! Here I come!

Jaune: I’m so stressed out that I’m zoning out right in the middle of everything today! Sometimes I don’t even hear when people-

Jaune: *gets bashed in the head by Pyrrha’s shield and collapses like a sack of bricks* 😵

Pyrrha: I’M SORRY!!!! 😱

Ren: *pulling up Jaune’s eyelids and shining a light* He’s concussed. There’s no way he’s going to be able to make that meeting with Miss Goodwitch…

Ren: Nora, you’ll have to climb inside his shirt and operate his arms like a mech!

Nora: *shrugs off her jacket* On it. 😠

[amelia-yap]

not pictured: oscar drawing a hot bath

inspired by this

[raccrows]

simpler times

[averagemrfox]