#lh: incorrect quotes
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Lethica: when I say I have a priest kink, I mean I want to be so sexy that I turn a man away from god
Virgil: aim higher
Virgil: be his new god
Lethica: fuck, you are so right
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Natsu: I haven't really known what I've been doing since I was like 15, but I don't think it's too obvious Lucy: It is. It is extremely obvious.
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incorrect-rocker-quotes · 2 months ago
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Tommy: Why does Mick always do the laundry so loudly?  Vince: So everyone knows that no one helps them out in the house.  Mick, in the distance: *slams the washing machine shut*
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kaimaciel · 4 months ago
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Brazil: Port is taking advantage of me. He's making me scrub the floors.
Portugal: You dirtied them.
Brazil: This is child labor.
Portugal: You're a grown fucking man, Luciano!
Brazil: How long have I been doing this?
Portugal: 3 minutes.
Brazil: 3 minutes?! I'm done.
Portugal: Now you sound like your step-father.
England: Fuck off!
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youling-the-ghost · 4 months ago
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sfth incorrect quotes pt.9 because the brainrot is getting to me
Luke: Thanks for not telling Tom what happened. AJ, dumbfounded: I wouldn’t even know where to begin trying to explain this. Tom: Anyone down to take couples counseling and see at what point the therapist realizes we barely know each other? Luke: Idiots to lovers, 20k words, angst with a happy ending. AJ: I know what a prism is! It's where you put bad people. (I just realised that I already had this quote in a past post)
AJ: Okay, what does A stand for? Luke: Arson. AJ: Aw, you're so good. Okay! B! What does B stand for? Luke: Barson. Sam: *laughter* AJ: What stands for C? Luke: Commit arson. Sam: Oooo. AJ: D! Luke: Don't come near me, I'm going to commit arson. Sam: *more laughter, slightly more evil this time* Tom: Hey, check out my Spongebob umbrella! *Tom opens his umbrella while indoors* Sam: Tom, that’s bad luck… Tom: Chill out, Sam! Luke, kicking down the door: WHO SUMMONED ME?!?! Tom and Sam: *screams* (Senor Pork-core) Tom: Hey, are you free? Sam: No, I’m expensive. Store Worker: Would a “Tom” please come to the front desk? Tom, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem? Store Worker, pointing to AJ, Sam, and Luke: I believe they belong to you? AJ, Sam, and Luke, simultaneously: We got lost. Tom: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me- Luke: Tom, when’s your birthday? Tom: Why? So you can look up my natal chart? So you can figure out my weaknesses? So you can destroy me? Luke: ...So I know when to wish you a happy birthday. Luke: But also so I can plan your downfall. AJ: So, what is Luke to you? Sam: The reason I wake up every morning. AJ: ...That’s adorable. Luke earlier that morning, barging into Sam′s room, smacking pans together: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!! AJ: *stands in trash can* Sam: AJ, not again! You're not trash, you're at least recycling! (I like to think that AJ just wanted to stand in the trash can) Sam: Big day today, Tom. *holds up two identical flannels* Mustard stain or ketchup stain? Tom: Mustard, looks less like blood. Tom: Yeah, I find it quite emotional. In like a cool way. Sam: Did you just say it makes you cry in a cool way? Luke: *writing a letter* Luke: Dear Santa, I'm writing to let you know I've been naughty...and it was worth it you fat, judgemental bastard. Tom: Damn, the power went out. AJ: Don’t worry, I got this. AJ: *stomps foot* Tom: What-? AJ: *Sketchers light up* Sam: You can’t have a gun on stage! Luke: WRONG! I can have a gun, and I must have a gun, that’s the rule of Chekhov’s Gun: have a gun. And now that it’s been seen, I will have to shoot someone before the end of the play. (Sam's just jealous that he doesn't have a gun) Tom: Oh no! I’m doomed! Sam: Seriously? All you have to do is not insult Luke at his own memorial service. Tom: Exactly! It’s impossible! AJ: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, that’s fucked up. Like c'mon, you know I’m dumb as hell! Luke: Shouldn't get stressed out, it's not good for the baby. Tom: What baby? Luke, crying a bit: Me. Tom: That's not funny. Luke: I thought it was funny. Tom: You don't count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on Facebook.
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xenia12 · 26 days ago
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Here’s a bunch of 3+ year old incorrect TOH quotes from my notes app because I’m bored
News reporter: There are rumors that you recently went undercover at Hexside under the name “Caleb”. Is this true?
The Golden Guard: Pfft, TITAN no. Caleb’s just a pathetic wannabe who can’t stand his own incompetence. Like, seriously, he can’t do anything right. I feel bad for anyone who has to suffer the embarrassment of being within 20 feet of him. He’s such a loser.
Hunter, watching the clip on his scroll a few hours later: Say that to my face, you fucking tool. Stop being such a royal ass-kisser and get a real job.
The Emerald Entrails, sitting together after practice:
Willow: Are you okay?
Luz: No problemo!
Luz, internally: But it was all problemo.
Gus: What's your biggest fear?
Hunter: Being replaced.
Gus: Damn that's deep.
Gus: My new one is the Kool-Aid man but I feel kinda stupid about it now.
Hunter, lying in the woods, depressed: I'll never be a cop again. I'm gonna have to be a robber.
Lilith: You know, I really wish you’d just admit you made a mistake sometimes.
The Golden Guard, stirring his coffee: I prefer it with salt.
Willow: What are you two arguing about this time?
Hunter: He’s always using human phrases incorrectly!
Gus: Cry me a table, Hunter.
Luz: I'm very disappointed in you, Vee.
Hunter: C'mon, don't get mad at Vee!
Luz: Hunter, stop telling Vee it's okay for her to punch you! She needs to learn not to punch people!
Hunter: But I'm not a person!
Vee: Which is why I punched him!
Lilith: *Turns on the breakroom light*
The Golden Guard: *Sitting at the table, eating bread*
Lilith: It’s four in the morning.
The Golden Guard: Turn the light back off.
Hunter: The joy of hanging out with Luz. You look away for 5 seconds to make sure something is set up correctly, and she bites the tip of a marker off.
Camila: Can you come out?
Luz: Yeah gimme a minute…
Luz: Mom, I’m bi.
Camila: I know that. Come out to the car.
Luz: Okay.
Luz: Car, I’m bi.
Camila, a tired mother:
Willow: *lifting weights*
Hunter: Wow… She’s so intense!
Luz: I wonder what drives her.
Willow, internally: Oh I am going to be SO good at giving hugs.
Hunter, protecting a palistrom forest: I am Hunter, I speak for the trees. Chop them down and I snap your knees.
Luz: I wanna be a knight!
Hunter, basically a knight: What the fuck do you want this shit for? I kill people, all right? Their blood is on my hands! Every night, when I go to sleep, I see their FUCKING faces staring at me! Their families weep, and I FEEL NOTHING! I’M DEAD INSIDE!
Luz: Man, I want some of that in my life!
Luz: I want a trip down memory lane.
Vee: *proceeds to grab every warrior cats book they have and sets them in Luz’s lap*
Vee: I heard you needed these?
Luz: YES! ALL OF THEM!
Hunter: Due to personal reasons, I will be fucking sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box.
Luz: Did Willow say “I love you” and you said “Thanks”?
Hunter: THE REASONS ARE PERSONAL–
The Golden Guard, on live news: I can't imagine what the Owl Lady is planning, but I can tell you two things: we won't like it and it won't be legal.
Gus: Did you win? Or just not die?
Gus: Either way, hooray.
Hunter: ... Is "no" a valid answer?
Gus: The hooray is redacted and you frighten me.
The Golden Guard: Hey, do you know anyone who can teach me to play the trumpet?
Darius: Why?
The Golden Guard: I want to wander around playing it to annoy Lilith.
Darius: Technically, you don’t actually need to know how to play the trumpet well for that.
The Golden Guard: Darius, you have opened my eyes.
Lilith: Can we talk about that mass message you sent?
The Golden Guard: Why? It was important.
Lilith: All it says is, "I'm back on my shit".
Steve, shrugging: The people need to know.
Gus: How long do you think it’ll be until Willow finally snaps and commits murder?
Hunter: I’ve been operating under the assumption that it’s already happened at some point and it’s just that no one was ever able to trace it back to her.
Hunter: It was difficult, so you’ve just given up. You might fail, so why bother trying?
Luz: Exactly.
Luz, to Amity: I told you he’d understand.
Willow: Remember, when burying a body, make sure to cover it with endangered plants so it’s illegal to dig up!
Willow: Make sure to follow me for more gardening tips!
Hunter: There's something I have to ask about you-know-who.
Luz: Voldemort?
Hunter: No.
Luz: Is it Voldemort?
Hunter: It's not Voldemort.
Luz: You haven’t mentioned wizards once this conversation, so I’m gonna have to assume it’s Voldemort.
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incorrect-hs-quotes · 6 months ago
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JAKE: Get into the christmas spirit! Christmas is about celebration and santa claus and jingle bells and rudolph the red nose deer and stockings full of gifts! JANE: That's true… JAKE: And mariah carey music and wearing red and sweaters and grandma and pajamas and dogs and the house and muffins! DIRK: Oh, he’s still going. JAKE: And love and laughter and clothes and chairs! ROXY: feels liek ur just namign normall thigns now JAKE: And eggs and candy hearts and four leaf clovers! HAL: Those are three completely different holidays.
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quackkaz · 9 months ago
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Roman : V? Virgil : What?
Roman : Are you awake?
Virgil : Who the f*ck do you think said “what“?
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Roman and Virgil: *bickering*
Logan: uh- actually-
Virgil: yeah?
Roman: hey- wait-
Virgil, turning to Roman: shh *looking at Logan* what were you saying there?
Roman: wh- DON'T YOU DARE SHUSH ME!
Virgil: Roman, I want to listen to the smart fella right now, not the fart smella
Logan: thank you Virgil, as I wa-
Roman: I AM NOT-
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the-walrus-eliza · 3 months ago
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Set in the past (idk when)
U.K: Canada you’ve starting talking weird. Especially when it comes to your vowels
Canada (pointing to California): blame him
California (in a full valley girl accent): like, what did I do?
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fablesanddreams · 1 year ago
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Chat: You know, when we first met you, we really didn’t like you.
Fable, after a moment: …I thought there was going to be another half to that sentence?
Chat: Nope!
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mydearhosea · 2 years ago
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Arthur, to Kieran: I'm going to shatter your ankles and cut your dick and balls off with a butter knife
Arthur, two seconds later: Ah, lighten up, O'driscoll! I was just kiddin'
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kaimaciel · 7 months ago
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Brazil: If a drop of semen has more lives than a drop of blood, why don't vampires suck dick?
Portugal: Who the fuck starts a conversation like that? I just sat down!
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fan-dweeb · 7 months ago
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Hawks: you ever try so hard to avoid fucking shit up that you end up fucking more shit up so now everything’s just a big pile of fucked up shit?
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senseioftheseidiots · 2 years ago
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This, this is the content youre following. Anywho, got my drawing pad back up!! And this is the first thing i made, have fun <333
based on real events <3
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