#letters to my past self

[ashtwinreject]

i got really, thoroughly upset when my husband first suggested i needed to increase my distress tolerance. which is just super funny on its face. to understand why it was upsetting, here's how it read to me in the moment: "rather than make efforts to stop distressing you, i would rather you just increase your distress tolerance". that's fucked up right? WRONG!!!!!!!!! unless your life goal is to have everyone you ever know walk on eggshells until they can't fucking take it anymore and have to leave. things are distressing sometimes. often, even. almost literally all the time, actually. better learn to fucking tolerate it

[neverluckygoldfish]

[mildmayfoxe]

being good and starting my group project mom birthday book today

[icewindandboringhorror]

There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.

[hyperionnebulae]

Dear 16 year old me,

I know things are hard right now. I know it feels like so much of the world doesn't want you. I know some days all your energy goes into surviving. And, I know the last kind of person you want to take advice from is an adult twice your age.

But I know you. I was you. I am you. So hear me out.

You are strong, smart, and kind. The world is full of so many people you haven't met yet that are going to love that about you. You even have some people in your life that already do.

I remember having a hard time believing anything good about myself, when I was you. Which, to be clear, isn't something we are uniquely at fault for. Yes, we did hurt a lot and will continue to hurt a lot, probably for as long as we live, but that isn't all we are or will be. I think we both know we aren't anything close to that easy to understand.

And that's not a bad thing. We are not a bad thing. We are so far from a bad thing. We might even be an incredibly good thing, even for and towards our self, in my lived future experience.

Today is our birthday which might not feel like a victory for you right now. It might feel like just another participation medal for remembering to breathe but I want you to know that a future version of you has saved every one of those ribbons no matter the color or copy. They will never be meaningless to me because you aren't meaningless to me.

Maybe life is internally a team relay where you were the best and only choice to run that lap. Maybe it was a last minute change in rotation, a fluke that you weren't even minority prepared for. And yet, you only fully collapsed after you handed off the baton. You did everything exactly as you needed to do, you were exactly where you needed to be, and you did your part. We are still running because of you.

So even if this isn't a happy birthday for you, it will have been a good day for us to be born and to survive and thrive as long as we keep showing up to breathe.

Thank you for being yourself and happy birthday to us! I love you so much.

32 year old me

Ps. Yep, we get to just wear elf ears whenever we want now. For all the hassle, being an adult could definitely be worse. ✌

[a-very-zilly-gooze]

found a notebook/journal/diary from me in late 2022. it had a letter to my past self in it. and. oh boy. if only that kid writing that letter to their past self knew what was coming for them—

[stergeon]

Rating: Mature (horny)

Fandom: Fire Emblem: Three Houses

Relationship(s): Edelgard von Hresvelg/Byleth Eisner

Words: 11.5k (2 chapters out of, theoretically, 3)

There's a new professor of the Black Eagles house, but it's not the one Edelgard and Hubert had planned to take on the role—and to make matters worse, Edelgard knows her. She could never forget her, or a single moment of that hot summer night when they met in Enbarr.

Worst of all, the professor doesn't seem to remember Edelgard.

AU in which Byleth and Edelgard meet by chance a few months before the start of White Clouds.

[hillbillyoracle]

Advice to my past self:

Instead of arguing with (prospective) partner or (prospective) friend about how much time texting/talking/together is reasonable to expect and whether they said they would do x and then didn’t follow through on it - 

Say “This level of inconsistency doesn’t work for me right now. It leaves me feeling confused and overly vulnerable. If you’re ever in place to be more consistent, let me know because I’d genuinely love to have you around more” or similar.

Facts can be debated. Feelings fade. But whether something is functional for you - assessed over several days if early on and several weeks if not - is a decent basis for making the decision to invest less in a relationship. Functional meaning:

Is it creating distressing feelings that don’t seem to be rooted primarily in past experiences?

Is it preventing me from being able to feel comfortable sharing my life, my thoughts, and my feelings with them?

Is it preventing me from focusing or enjoying things that were previously fairly easy to focus on and enjoy?

When they finally get back to me/do x, do I feel overwhelmed by resentment or do I have a tendency to be passive aggressive?

What’s key here is that answering yes to these DOES NOT mean that someone else has done something wrong. It means you’re not handling it well. Whether they’re right or wrong is a separate issue and not relevant here. You’re out of your comfort zone and you’ve got to decide whether this is a ‘yellow zone’ issue - it challenges you but you’re still capable of meeting it and you want to grow through it - or a ‘red zone’ issue - you’re too far out of your depth to grow through it and need to dial it down or take some space. 

If the answers to the above questions are mostly yes and you either don’t think it’s appropriate to make a request or a previous request has gone unfulfilled, knock them down one level on the investment tier for a bit and reevaluate in another week or so. If it’s still yes, make another request and/or knock them down again. Rinse repeat. 

Moralizing other people’s actions is food for the inner critic - it’s a trap. Be compassionate of others and find what works for you. Both are possible.

[invinciblerodent]

Ray never stopped writing Dorian love letters.

It doesn't matter that they've been together over a decade. It doesn't matter that they've not needed to rely on writing for communication since the Exalted Council. It doesn't even matter that they live together and see each other every single day. He just never stopped.

It originally started when Dorian left for the Imperium for the first time following the defeat of Corypheus, of course, and at first it was as much about function as keeping one another some semblance of company, even from the distance. But over time, it just became something of a habit, and after the loss of his dominant hand, something that -though frustrating- helped him gain finer use of his right hand without embarrassment, while making his husband (in all but name) smile or fluster.

Dorian may grouse at the arrival of the occasional (embarrassing, honestly) midday note to his office, but he still finds this one of his amatus' more adorable little habits that he hopes he'll never give up.

[ljesaw]

it’s with depression that i fear i have to say, i think for a long time (too long really), zuko doesn’t reach out to his uncle during his retirement in ba sing se, not even for the much needed guidance he could use, because he considers it part of the exhaustive list of reparations the fire nation (and he himself) owes

[pinkfey]

I like following you but can you go back to reblogging vg gifs soon, its why I’m here

the genocide of the palestinian people is being broadcast online across every social media platform and they are begging us not to look away and turn a blind eye to their suffering doctors and mass graves and murdered children and final words and you want me to post baldur’s gate or whatever. unfollow me and get the fuck out.

[almosinnia]

i'm being spoiled by my friends for my birthday and i feel so full of love right now ;;_;;

[perpetualmourning]

my younger self to me: let...go? we can do that?

[the-amber-droid-dreams]

happy mspec lesbian week !

every single one of u are so cool :D

extra shoutout goes the mspec lesbians who are trans, genderfunky, multigender, lesboys, turigirls, mspec gays, mesques, straightbians, gaybians, and/or all manner of "contradictory"

[mgasulatnihoney]

An Open Letter to my Past

Dear Past, You are joy, you are brave, you are loved. However, along the way you became broken because of you had cross path along the way. Some of them made you feel worthless, useless, and unimportant. Then you have broken down into pieces. You make mistakes, you disappointment and have not reached your dreams. Despite of it all, you are about to whole again as you pick up the pieces what's left of you. It made you strong, dependable and trustworthy once again. Your past will pass through but you are still here in the present as you prepare for your future. Prepare yourself as the table will start to turn, this will be your time to shine, valuable and beautiful.

[dallonwrites]

in exciting news this next nano chapter is where i let a new lesbian into the apocalyptic forest enclosure for dorothy to sniff and have fun with