#let's not even put discussions of maturity into the mix lmao

[pallas-cat]

i hate that i have this deep seated knowledge that i am Dumb(TM) not in the ableist way but in the "doesn't think before speaking"/"not curious"/"anti-intellectual" way and that being willing to put merely an hour of my day into not rotting my brain with stupid bullshit would help but i apparently am, indeed, too impulsive/not curious/too prone to fall into anti intellectual ways of thinking to actually take up that core advice to better myself.

[castlebyersafterdark]

I find the way they both interact with the concept of byler to be very interesting,sometimes eye brow raising, and even complicated in Noah’s case since he said playing Will essentially made him realize/accept (however he framed it) his own sexuality…

Wholeheartedly agree with vinny's response here as the mature and practical way to look at the strange vocation of acting. Its a very strange mix of professional AND personal - and this, i think, is what creates tension in the is RPF morally acceptable? debate. because if we're talking literal speculation about whether two people have the hots for each other... name a less groundbreaking pastime lmao. imagine the saucy gossip that would have been spreading through the roman baths in like... 78 BC lol. human love and connection have ALWAYS interested people.

but for some reason there is disapproval about discussing chemistry and potential attraction when it comes to actors who also portray fictional characters. you don't see frowns when people pair actors together in regular celeb gossip columns; it's only through the lens of 'fandom shipping', where fictional blends with real, that it gets hate. perhapss most see it as an extrapolation with no grounds, a crossing of boundaries? but for me, its a question of your emotional intelligence as an audience member: can you separate fiction from reality in a mature way while also acknowledging that you see something sparkling in the reality? it's not NOT possible. but are you being honest with yourself about the origin of the chemistry? for me, noah and finn have it in spades, and i dont need them to officially start a relationship to prove it, because that, for me, is not the only sign of two people having true feelings for each other.

and even though professionalism should be top priority on a film set - on s5 of ST - let's not discount the fact that actors are human first and foremost, and not only that, but creatives, storytellers, performers, who are most likely more sensitive and emotionally affected than most 'regular' non-creative folk. sure, noah and finn started acting as kids, so perhaps they're not passionate about the craft like someone who chose the career later in life might be. but in a way, that's MORE telling? because their authentic selves would have been spilling out accidentally on red carpets and in interviews as they grew, no matter how much media training they had. there are unique circumstances that mirror their real lives and the show; growing up together, noah's queerness. it's not like two middle aged actors who barely know each other, portraying a totally fictive romance where their chemistry is the only similarity.

anyway, no amount of professionalism is going to prevent real feelings potentially arising. having feelings is not unprofessional; it's about how you deal with those feelings. and their behaviour is very, very interesting.

Noah is very intense, and candid about his intensity, especially re: byler. I think his tweets are certainly marketing in some ways, but you can't deny that he's not exactly, to put it bluntly... cool about it haha! He's not a nerd like finn is a nerd, but he's not cool and collected, you know? He is clearly comfortable having a public image (whether fabricated or not) of being someone who wears his heart on his sleeve. He and his team have clearly chosen to go down the route of: 'this actor is a bubbly young man who has no filter'. Even without the many times he's accidentally spoiled the show (lmao), it seems to me like Noah's passion IS authentic precisely BECAUSE being a young male actor these days often IS about being too cool for school, and Noah exhibits many traits that do not fit our society's idea of a cool young guy.

He's clumsy. He says things that could be seen as cringe. He is passionate and open. He admits to crying a lot. He makes tiktok lives naked shirtless from his bed. He gushes about Harry Styles. He does silly dances on social media. He gushes about byler. None of these things are objectively uncool - that's not a thing - and tiktok dances are popular, sure, but it's the WAY he does them. If he and his team wanted to craft a different persona that might have launched him into higher echelons of the A-List cool list, they could have. But I personally love how authentic noah feels. He is living life for himself, going to college, speaking honestly, being totally real. I respect that a lot.

And I think Finn does too, even though they might have clashed as younger teens, because he speaks highly of noah's coming out especially, and Finn also lives life for himself. My eyebrows have raised many many times seeing how Noah handles byler, and quite honestly, I wonder if Finn was/is more than a little intimidated playing opposite this rambunctious, passionate guy who is most likely going to kiss him within an inch of his life when they finally get to the s5 byler scenes lmao.

Then we have Mr Wolfhard. Finn, Finn, Finn. This year during filming, he seems... calm. Happy, glowing. My instincts tell me that he's, at the very least, enjoying this season and getting artistic satiation from it, whether that's reuniting a final time with the gang, pure nostalgia, gratitude, or enjoying filming byler. Probably all of the above. Viewing his behaviour through the lens of his disgruntlement with mileven in prior seasons' press, however, is hilarious - because whereas at one time it could have seemed like he was a teen boy who was embarrassed to talk romance, it's now looking more and more Mike Wheeler-esque. He was a young guy who was sick to death of hearing 'mileven mileven mileven' non-stop, perhaps without really knowing why. Honestly, if Finn's life ends up echoing Mike's in the way Noah's has with Will's, it'd be so coincidental that it's almost ludicrous, yet so so beautiful; and no wonder they'd both be reeling from it for a very long time. We're only just in the midst of filming - perhaps the most telling events have yet to come?

I will agree that Finn's s4 interviews were very telling re: whether byler will happen - the giggling, as you mentioned, because eyes and smiles don't lie, even on actors when they're off the clock. Finn's responses, if will's romance storyline was going to be tragic, were nonsensical. As for a kiss, I think they have already filmed one. If not, their giggles were certainly anticipatory, and there's definitely a similarity between finn's gigglyness and noah's glee at byler, isn't there? Whether that's thrill at good storytelling, or a hint to Finn's queerness, or both... you decide! Because being passionate about a story is one thing, but being reduced to self-conscious giggles, especially at age 19 or so? When portraying a romance at a younger age did NOT make you giggly during press...??? Very interesting.

For me, it's the other aspects of Finn's personality that prevent people from seeing foah as a possibility. Finn is too cool for school, reserved and private. Half of his press responses to byler HAVE mirrored his one's for mileven - 'why would I ship my own show?' etc. But there's that cheeky other half of the time, where he giggles or looks discreetly right down the camera, as if he's trying to silently tell us something. Even if he just adores byler, I find that very endearing.

And let's not forget that they're both totally adorable. At the very least I expect s5 press where they respond to questions portraying this romance. Noah laughing and saying "I wasn't exactly complaining" on Jimmy Fallon or something. "I mean, look at him" as Finn points to a magazine cover with Noah splashed on the front for s5 promo.

Lastly, noah's storyline/real life convergence is impactful. There's no way that this isn't something that influences the rest of his life. And, seeing as he was a teenager growing up with Will, I can't see how he could have entirely separated finn from mike, will's love from his own feelings, whether they were an actual crush, or simply the love and trust that comes from a genuine transformative friendship. The crazy thing is that noah has admitted in interviews that he looks at finn and sees Mike - so, with regard to what I said about about noah having no filter, take that as you will. If this is what he is saying publicly, what on earth is going on inside that head of his?

They are both endlessly fascinating and for me, this doesn't simply feel like RPF but studying the human condition, love and connection itself. Ha! I have nothing but love and respect for the two of them, so I dont feel like my 'shipping' is a bad thing. I think vinny would agree, being the romantic sap he is <3

Posting this one because this says it all, what a thorough read and reflection on these two. Thank you for sharing, I have very little to add, right on right on. So I'll let this one stand alone as a good read!! ❤️❤️❤️

[moskaisley]

migraine pt.3 | chronic

gif: @logan-solo​

rating: mature

word count: 3k

warnings: cursing, suggestive language, fluff but also ANGST, jealous!mando aka my favorite kind 

a/n: this literally took so long to write bc i basically changed the last half of this fic, but i’m rly happy with the results. there was a lot i wanted to include about life before din left, and i thought i’d put them in separate like one shots, but i figured that it would be include in the main story too. this is basically like an anime recap episode LMAO. enjoy!! thanks for the love <3

summary:

“But slowly and languidly, there was a sense of tenderness that began to bleed into the crevices of your daily lives.”

When you and the Mandalorian existed in another time, another place. 

parts 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6

ao3 link / masterlist

Dreams these days never really consisted of anything new. Old memories played in your head like a holovid, both the good and the bad. Tonight, they were filled with him. 

In the beginning, the two of you never really acknowledged what it was. 

You fucked only a few more times after the cockpit. Business always came first, of course, and sex wasn’t a regular occurrence. But when the tension (often mixed with the adrenaline of bounty hunting) became too much to handle, you were all over each other. Most of the time, you were in either of each other’s bunks, and you only did it in the cockpit when you couldn’t bother to go down the ladder. At first, you chalked it up to strictly satisfying physical needs. With the two of you in such close quarters, it only made sense. The aftermath often involved getting dressed and cleaned up in silence. There would be an occasional joke or two, but the discussion usually steered itself towards the next mission. 

But slowly and languidly, there was a sense of tenderness that began to bleed into the crevices of your daily lives. Your hands would linger on each other longer. He seemed to loosen up around you, joke around and indulge you in conversation. It was such a stark contrast to his menacing, stoic warrior demeanour he used when rounding up bounties.

Once, you found yourself too distracted and flustered to even spar with him.

“At this rate, you’ll never win a match against me,” he poked, legs straddling your waist as he pinned your arms down

“Oh, shut up,” you huffed, irritated. He had won against you using the same move, twice. 

You’d never tell him, but your eyes were definitely indulging over the build of his body, imagining the way his bare muscles flexed or his lips moved against yours. 

Squirming against him, you hiss, “Off, Mando.”

He chuckles and your chest tightens. I bet his real voice sounds like heaven.

“I dunno, I think I like you like this.”

He studies you under him, helmet tilting sideways watching your chest heave up and down. A wave of heat washes over you at the thought of tearing off his mask and pulling him down for a kiss. Mando lightly laughs again and you swear you’re going to fucking lose it.

“I think you like it too.”

With all your strength, you bring your knee into the small of his back, knocking him forwards as you twist to launch him off of you. After shuffling up to stand, you spin on your heels and march away, embarrassed at how he’s got you flushed and smiling like an idiot schoolgirl. 

He’s still groaning in pain when he calls to you, “Done already?”

You stumble on a witty response, “You’re the worst!”

Smooth.

--

You weren't the only one losing their cool. Mando became a lot more defensive of you in those days; you nearly killed him once because he kept trying to cover you from blaster fire. He even started a bar fight for you. 

You hated the stares you received by virtue of being around him; traveling with him always meant that being unassuming was impossible. Normally, people would avert their eyes. If you were particularly lucky, a poor soul would try and push the Mandalorian’s buttons, not realizing they’re digging their own graves. One day, however, you’d hit the jackpot when they decided to  target you. 

You sat across from him in a booth, patiently waiting for the quarry to pass through; you took the side facing the door while he was turned away, taking advantage of the element of surprise. Out of the corner of your eye, three drunk bumbling idiots stumbled from the opposite end of the bar. Despite your stealthy gaze, one of them locked eyes with you, and when you saw his lips curl into a disgusting smile, you knew you were in for it. 

The man you saw and sauntered over to your side of the chair. His friends shuffled behind him like dogs, and he practically beamed when he saw Mando, seemingly nonchalant.

“My my, Mando! You’ve got quite the catch here,” he says, undressing you with his eyes, “Where’d he buy a thing like you, baby?”

Are you fucking serious?

You cocked an eyebrow and shot him a glare in response, but remained quiet. You turn back to your view on the door, praying to Maker that he’d leave you alone. But the man didn’t let up.

Instead, he turns to your partner inquiring,

“How good of a lay is she, huh, Mandalorian? Bet she’d be a real treat for me and my boys” his men move a little closer to corner you both, “How much to take her off your hands?”

Can a girl just exist?

“I’m not for sale,” you snarl, voice tight. A dull pain begins to echo in your temples.

“So she speaks,” Your irritation only seemed to egg him on, “C'mon darlin’ let us take care of you. I promise I’m good for it.”

Your fingers were itching towards your blades, but you were still waiting on the quarry to enter the cantina. A scene would scare him away and you would lose your money and time.

Business comes first. 

At least, that’s what you thought.

Mando’s voice cut through your exchange, “Get lost, she said she’s not interested.”

“Now, that’s not what we heard, was it boys?” His men laugh in agreement behind him. His eyes turn dark as he goes to place a hand on your shoulder, “The lady can speak for herself. I think we can negotia-”

A blaster shot whizzes by your ears before you can even think to fight back against him. Mando, ever the gunslinger, shoots again towards his leg, knocking him onto the floor.

And then the whole bar descends into chaos. 

Drunkards pile on top of each other as tensions crescendo; the sound of a single shot has everybody up in arms. Your migraine only grows in intensity as the situation spirals out of control. To top it off, amidst the chaos, you see the quarry a few paces away. His eyes were wide watching the shitshow before him, and in a panic, he scurried back out the door.

You’d caught him eventually, but not without traversing the entire underground marketplace that stretched under the city. By the time he was in carbonite and you were both in the cockpit, your irritation boiled over.

“Are you insane, Din?” You fumed, “When did you get so careless? We nearly lost him!”

He simply looked at you as if you knew the answer, but his silence only fueled your exasperation.

“Fine, don’t talk to me,” you grumbled, throwing your hands in the air, “I’ll be in the refresher.”

You turned to leave, but his gloved hand suddenly gripped your upper arm, spinning you into his chest. It was then that you realized how much bigger he was, dwarfing you in his arms as he rubbed the space above your elbows. 

“He was gonna touch you,” Mando’s voice was low, bordering on a growl.

Oh. The air in the room shifts dramatically.

You take a shaky breath, your voice quieting down to a whisper, “And if he did?”

The gloved hands on your arms squeeze like a vice grip. Your heart swells.

“He’d have a hole in his head.”

Your expression softens before your lips spread into a sly smile. You move as close as you can, eyes boring into the black space of his visor.

“Tell me something,” you swallow hard as you gingerly move his hands to your waist and trace your fingertips over his breastplate. Mando’s breathing is ragged through his vocoder, and you relish in his excitement. You bat your eyelashes a few times before peering up at him.

“How good of a lay am I, Mandalorian?”

His fingers dig deeper into your sides before pulling you even closer, erection already stiffening against you. He groans out a response, “Let’s find out.”

--

There were little things that warmed your heart, too. When you were stuck in your bunk with a migraine, he never let you get up to do anything by yourself. He brought you water and food and he took extra care in opening the door so no light was let in and he wasn’t too loud. When you could tell he was dozing off in hyperspace, you forced him to go to bed. If he was particularly stubborn, you shoved him into the co-pilot’s chair and covered him with a blanket. Sometimes, if you came across a market with a few extra credits, you’d cook him a real meal, leagues better than the shitty ration packs you normally partook in. 

And then, there was the first time he kissed you.

You were strolling through a bazaar before a job when you stopped at a produce stand, excitedly picking up a fuzzy white peach from the box.

“I haven’t eaten one of these since I was a teenager,” you say, bringing up it to your nose and sniffing, “They smell amazing. We should get some later.”

Much to your chagrin, the job went south that day. You were so frustrated and angry that you’d completely forgotten about it, caked in mud and grime demanding to go straight back to the Razor Crest.

Holed up in your bunk and fresh out the shower, you were clad in only a long sleeve shirt and underwear when you heard him knock. When you opened the door, you were surprised to see  the fiercest hunter in the parsec standing before you with a plate of peaches from the market, sliced neatly into little wedges.  

Mando sat with you on your bed as he watched you eat; you told him about how the fruit used to grow on trees in your family’s orchard in the summer. Though you acted like you were sick of them, you always ate it when you were upset. You smiled at the memory of your adolescence, silently cutting up the fruit into wedges and eating them outside during dawn, right after your first break up with some boy.

You were so caught up in the memory that you nearly jumped when Mando leaned in and took your chin in his right hand. His finger traced over the side of your lips, and your heart raced in your chest. 

“Sorry, it’s just,” he uttered, “It was going to drip on your chin.”

You would’ve thought he’d lit your body on fire. Your core ached and you suddenly couldn’t breathe. When he began to pull back, it felt like instinct to grab his wrist and keep his hand near your face. You leaned into his touch, pressing a chaste kiss to his thumb. 

You began to crawl across your bunk to him when he stopped you, “Wait.”

Mando stood, and closed the door and shut the lights off. Darkness enveloped you both, and you called out to him, “Din?” His voice cut through the inky dark, “Can you see anything?”

You hear him shuffle, as he stands in front of you, “I dunno, can I?”

“Y/N,” he urged, impatient.

“No, Din. I can’t see.”

And then you hear the air hiss, and metal clanging to the floor. Realization hit like a meteor crash.

He took it off.

You panic immediately.

“Din, wait! What are you doi-”

You shut up the instant his hands cup your face and his lips are on yours.

And it felt delightful, better than any kiss you’d ever had. Your eyes flutter shut as you deepen the kiss. Your arms go to wrap around his neck, and you pull him even closer, elated at the way his soft hair feels in between your fingers. You were sure that he could taste the sweet, tangy peach on your tongue. When he pulls away for air, your face feels flushed with heat and you could feel your swollen lips.

You’re in a daze, “You kissed me.”

He laughs and you hear it. His real voice. No distortion. No modulator. 

“I did.”

He does sound like an angel.

“Do it again.”

--

When it all broke apart, it wasn’t like the steady, dawdling way you fell in love. The break was quick and it stung worse than any migraine. 

“What do you think?”

You walked around the cockpit, tracing your fingers over the controls. “Why? You thinking of an upgrade?” You shoot Mando a smile. He doesn’t seem amused, “It’s nice, I guess. Smaller, though. We already have a tough time fitting together in the Razor Crest.”

You’d been on Nevarro for a few days, having finally finished your last job. Instead of going back to the Crest, however, Mando took you to a shipyard and aboard an empty cruiser. The Slipstream’s windows were big and were much cleaner, but space was still an issue even if you and Din didn’t carry much.

You turn to him expecting a response, but he only says, “Let’s go.”

“Wait, Mando,” you reach for his shoulder, “What is this about? I don’t understand. Why are we here?”

He doesn’t stop to answer, “I said, let’s go.”

You let out a huff as you followed him out of the cockpit. Ever since you landed, Mando’s behavior had flipped like a switch. Your friendly talks had been reduced to one-sided exchanges. He’d been ignoring you, cold like the beskar he donned on his back. 

“Mando!”

He kept walking down the loading ramp. His terrible attitude had made your blood simmer for a while, and now it was all boiling over. 

You stomp forwards, stopping at the entrance to the hull and shout. 

“Din, stop!”

And he does, but he doesn’t turn around.

You’re fuming, “What is your problem? You’ve been in a shitty mood ever since we got here and frankly I-” You’re interrupted by something flying towards you, instinct having you catch in your hands. It’s a small silver device. Code sets, for what could only be the ship you’re currently standing on.

The dots begin to chaotically connect in your head, “What the hell is this?”

“It’s the -”

“No, Din. I know what this fucking thing is,” You’re seething with panic and rage as you hold up the silver box, “I mean, what are you doing?”

He only stares up at you, the mask emotionless and frigid. The reality of the situation was crashing into you like waves; you were begging to any god that this was just a fucked up nightmare. Tears were stinging in your eyes, threatening to pool and pour over. 

You hated how your voice cracked, “Answer me!”

“I’m leaving you, Y/N.”

Fuck. Hearing him say it out loud made your gut wrench. 

You made an audible sob; you couldn’t control it. Shuffling to the bottom of the ramp, you’re desperate to try and connect to him, bring him back to you. The questions spill from your lips.

“Why? What did I even do? What’s wrong?” You bring your hands up, cupping the sides of his helmet. You whisper through your cries, “Din, please.”

You know. You feel it in your bones. You know he feels it too. 

He gently holds your wrists, “We can’t do this anymore.”

“Can’t we talk about this?” You plead, “I know something’s wrong, you gotta let me in.”

“Y/N, please don’t make this harder than it already is,” he chides, pulling your hands away from his helmet. Your heart feels like it’s in freefall when he turns around to continue walking.

You try to scramble forward to pull him back but to your horror, you’re met with the barrel of a blaster. The noise that roars through your ears sounds like shattering glass. You gape at him, a mixture of shock and disbelief contorting your features. The figure that stood before you was unrecognizable. Because it wasn’t Din, the soft lover who kissed you in the dark and traced words of Mando’a into your sternum. It wasn’t even Mando, the old snarky friend who joked at how bad of a shot you were and who laughs like a complete idiot when he had one too many sips.

It was the Mandalorian, the ruthless and deadly warrior poised and ready to fire you away.

--

You wake up smelling peaches and blaster smoke.

Shifting to sit up against the wall behind you, you groan at the dull ache in your head and heart. Mando is here with you at the foot of the bed; you’ve memorized the way the bunk feels with or without him. 

“Why are the lights off?” You ask.

“I didn’t know if you were going to wake up with a headache or not.”

Of fucking course. It drives you insane how considerate he is sometimes.

You suddenly become more alert as you remember, “Aayn’vida, where is she? Is she safe?”

He quells your anxiety immediately, “She’s safe. I took her to her family.”

“And Khan?”

“Cold.”

You feel him shove pills and a bottle of water into your hands. You took them, and as you both waited for the pain in your head to subside, he told you what happened in Jaemai. As it turns out, Aayn’vida’s mother was a doctor for many years, and she was kind enough to check on you and care for your wounds. Khan’s goon nicked your right side; no major organs were hit, but your skin was likely scarred since it was basically singed off. There was another thing, however. Mando had asked her about the constant migraines,  “She said that they can happen because of stress or trauma.”

You laughed bitterly, “Well, we both know I have plenty of that.”

Silence blankets you two again. Even in the dark, you can tell when the Mandalorian is uneasy. You wait for him to confess.

“If I’d known this would’ve happened, I would’ve never asked you to come with me,” he lets out a tired sigh, “I’m sorry.”

You roll your eyes. Why is he so fucking nice?

“We’ve been through worse,” you say, a familiar feeling fluttering through your chest, 

“Besides, this just means I’ve rightfully earned my 80%”

[beautiful-de4mity]

Alice Nine Music Review: [15th Anniversary Best Album] Fugetsu no Uta Edition

It’s funny that I’m actually in the middle of work and my autistic ADD brain whispered: why don’t you review and compare those tracks in Fugetsu no Uta with the original ones? 🤡 I mean, well, this album is certainly the main reason I decided to end my hiatus period as a fangirl (from 2015) and get back on track to Alice Nine and The GazettE last year so I have no reason to resist, right? 😂 I wrote this based on my objective POV, might spark disagreement between other fellow Kyuugumis but I’m very happy to discuss things further eheheheheh 😂

P.S. All of the picture were taken from FAIX website! Kudos to them for always providing us with high quality Alice Nine materials!

1. NUMBER SIX

Objectively speaking from my point of view, I love the original version more because it sounded more アリス九號.-ish. Fugetsu no Uta’s version, however, is very neat! I’m surprised to notice that in some ways the sound becomes more mature and well-arranged. They changed the keys in some parts and removed several details compared to the original version and that’s what made me feel off somehow. To me, NUMBER SIX will always portray that image of youth, recklessness, vandalism, and messy things (lmao). not to mention the MV where they (again and again) tried to be actors and added some background story😂 This entire album is basically showing off Shou’s progress in technique and vocal range respectively. I’m so proud of him! To be honest, I prefer his current voice tone compared to the earlier era of Alice Nine, what about you?

I think what makes Alice Nine music unique are their distinctive and detailed sound, also subtleties. That’s why the original NUMBER SIX is waaay better than Fugetsu no Uta’s in my opinion.🎸

2. -Dice-

It’s funny because I never really listen to -Dice- before and since it is included in the latest album, I finally paid attention to it😂 This song has strong “Yami ni Chiru Sakura” vibe to me. Basically, nice progression and arrangement. I think -Dice- is the kind of song the fans want to listen again after a long time, the kind of song with bold distortion, heavy beat, and screamo. Alice Nine is known to experiment a lot with their music, Hiroto said it himself several times during his live stream. Nevertheless, their two latest albums released in 2020 (Nightless City Eden and Wonderland With Black) somehow showed that their sound is more popish and lighter nowadays. I wonder if it’s either because Saga is head over heels with Kenty or Shou is so into KPop🤔 Thoughts? 

3. Kousai

KOUSAI IS ONE OF THE BEST ALICE NINE’S BALLAD MASTERPIECES!!!!! Composed by our baby guitarist, who is surprisingly so good at composing ballad songs 😅, Kousai has that power to make you feel a range of emotions you can’t put into words!

Music wise, Fugetsu no Uta’s Kousai is adjusted half key higher (maybe due to Shou’s vocal range change), they don’t use acoustic guitar, the chord progression is also different especially in pre-chorus and bridge parts, plus the solo is also different. Both versions have orchestral touch, but Fugetsu no Uta’s is more grandeur in composition. Again, I have to say the latest version is very neat and lovely to listen since Shou’s gentle voice really spoils my sense of hearing. However..............!!!! The original version has the raw, painful feeling that’s impossible to match! From minute 00:00 when the acoustic guitar flows until the end of the song (which is also filled with acoustic guitar only!), is a roller coaster of feelings that makes you question your existence. Whenever I play the original version of Kousai and the song ends, I can feel strange emptiness as if I had lost someone dear to me without knowing who it is 😭 and that’s why it’s hard for me to decide which one is better. I’d say both versions are equally great! I really can picture this song as an ending theme of a sad dorama/movie.

4. RAINBOWS

THE ORIGINAL ONE WINS! looooooooool 😂😂😂😂😂😂 I’m really sorry, I don’t even need to think twice to decide this. RAINBOWS is best of the best and I’d actually love to keep it original (sorry, boys 😓). I don’t have much to say about the Fugetsu no Uta’s version since they don’t add much change either. The original version has Saga’s signature sound, you can feel his genius juice flowing out throughout the entire song. It’s like a huge power you have to unleash otherwise it’ll explode and destroy you inside. Every time you listen to it, you’ll feel energized and pumped out! I don’t know, it’s just Fugetsu no Uta’s version doesn’t have that power. 

Thoughts? 🤔

5. CROSS GAME

AGAIN....THE ORIGINAL ONE WINS!!!! 😂 I don’t know why but I think they shouldn’t have included their iconic songs such as RAINBOWS and CROSS GAME in this album unless they’re keeping the original arrangement (re-mixing is okay but re-arrangement, re-record? 🤔), the songs are really losing their magic and power somehow. They also don’t add significant change into the songs compared to the other ones, why bother to re-record them anyways? (Sorry, this might sound harsh but I’m trying to be honest as possible 😭)

Probably the re-arrangement things work better on ballad songs or less upbeat songs since they adjust to Shou’s new vocal tone. Even Tora’s solo is not as powerful as the original one (this might also be because he’s no longer using his Ibanez. Ibanez is well-know for its heavy and crunchy distortion sound). I wonder if they said things like, “Let’s re-record CROSS GAME, but make it softer.” when they decided to include this song into the album. Thoughts? 

6. The Beautiful Name

They make a number of changes in this song and I should say the changes do not spark any conflict within me. Shou’s new vocal tone plus Saga’s voice as the background really go well with the Fugetsu no Uta’s arrangement. In some ways, Fugetsu no Uta’s version sounds more アリス九號.-ish than the original one because they change the chord progression and add more details. You might call me biased for saying this but the main factor that makes the new version more stand out is Hiroto’s ad-lib. If you notice, Hiroto adds phrases on both pre-choruses and bridge part, reduce the treble during intro and outro to produce softer but more powerful sound. Also, I love that they change the drums during bridge. The original version has double pedals sound which makes the song more rough while the newest version sounds more like anti-climax. To re-emphasize, Saga’s background singing voice also adds more point for Fugetsu no Uta’s version. He basically has idol-like vocal tone which you might already notice from his works (Volland Gump and his cover songs on SoundCloud), not only very contrast but also harmonize well with Shou’s.

Listening to Fugetsu no Uta’s version makes me more content, like there is a sense of fulfillment after the song ends. This is the kind of noise I want Alice Nine to produce more.

Wai, I want to write this review to the end but I have to get back to work😂 Please share your thoughts on this album because I love to hear other fans’ perspective about Alice Nine music. Be happy, healthy, and stay safe!

[mashkaroom]

This isn’t related to anything, but frozen 2 was actually...pretty good of a movie, and you can literally see the disney profit model holding it back. firstly, the music was really good -- i was really impressed with the writing team and with the vocal performances, especially by idina menzel. the songs that didn’t make it in because the plot was rearranged were also excellent. wrt to the visuals, i’m not the biggest fan of this specific animation style, but it’s clear it’s very well done -- i’ve no choice but to be impressed. the plot was whatever (also they fully put a couple of trolls in charge of the kindom for a bit -- is there no fucking line of succession in this goddamn kingdom?? maybe the plot of the movie should have been establishing a functional bureaucracy) and they really yada-yada-ed the magic system, which was basically of the central conceit of the movie so...why did they not put more effort into it? the explanation, such as it was, of the magic system was both confusing and ultimately pretty meaningless -- it added next to nothing of value to the lore or theme or worldbuilding. the themes were clearly meant for a more mature audience (which is i guess what you get for waiting 7 years to make a sequel [which btw just wrenched out a memory out of me that frozen 1 came up literally constantly in my 7th grade latin class -- i cannot emphasize enough how bizarre of an experience learning a dead language throughout the entirety of your teenage years along with 400 more of your cohort is]) -- but anyway, they establish all these themes and then don’t commit to them. Like, the central plot conflict of the movie is literally colonialism lmao. it’s such a strange place to discuss it. My suspicion is that they decided right away to go with a “connecting with mother” storyline, since the “women in the same family connecting with each other” bit worked so well in the first movie; then they were like “is this too basic?” and decided that they should wrap that into a “reckoning with ancestry” thread to cash into that “young leftist with white guilt” market. Then they had somebody on the writing staff who was like “what if we made this about colonialism?” So re: those elements, first of all the mother plotline is boring as shit. Like it doesn’t ring true even to losing a loved one early, but it especially rings soooo hollow wrt the actual relationship that is portrayed in the first movie between elsa and her parents. like we see the parents be so misguided it borders on abusive. and that’s a really interesting dynamic, story-wise, bc the parents are dead and can’t redeem themselves but the baggage they left behind is still there, so the burden of processing that falls exclusively on the daughters. i dare say this is something probably relatable to many of us, bc it’s my sense that most people grow up with pretty misguided parents! (lowkey i feel like the best parenting i’ve seen in my circle are parents who basically went off of vibes rather than idk a philosophy or whatever) i actually would have loved to see a children’s movie address dealing with parents in a nuanced way that isn’t just “one of us is right and the other is wrong” but rather addresses what responsibilities parents and children have to each other, how to navigate intent versus effect, what the value (or lack thereof) of forgiveness is, how to uncover your identity when your entire life was shaped by societal and parental expectations, etc. And the Frozen premise is ideally suited for this! Moreover, a lot of these beats actually DO happen in the movie! Into the unknown is basically elsa trying and failing to convince herself that she wants the life she has and any thoughts to the contrary should be dismissed (and it’s gay as hell, but we’ll get to that later). The climax of show yourself literally says that it was the truth about herself rather than her mother that will bring her peace. But all of these beats are facilitated supernaturally rather than by the very fitting preexisting character background, which makes it lack the satisfaction you’d expect in such a resolution. it never features any reckoning with what made her feel the way she did in the first place -- a projection of the mother’s face singing the climactic realization literally undercuts the entire plotline. like here you can see how basically being propaganda for the american lifestyle (in this case the nuclear family e.g.) undercuts their message. this predictably only gets more egregious when they attempt to tackle colonialism. so quick summary of this plotline: anna and elsa’s grandfather basically genocided an indigenous people -- the northuldra -- after tricking them into building a dam that stifles the power of the forest or something. also their mother was actually northuldra. also magic comes from the northuldra forest? it would probably be pretty problematic re: the magical native stereotype if it was clearer what was going on lmao. at the end, anna breaks the dam even though it’ll flood Arendelle; however, elsa (who was literally frozen because of the sins of the past) swoops in at the last moment and freezes the wave so it causes no damage. However, in an earlier version of the story, the wave actually DOES destroy Arendelle and then they rebuild it with a mix of Arendellian and Northuldran architectural styles. this version actually proposed a genuine vision for how to deal with the impacts of colonialism instead of the final movie where sisterly love absolves everyone of consequences. 

ok, so about the gay: i know people read a coming out into let it go, and maybe this is just cause i watched frozen 1 when i was still straight, but i didn’t really see it. but the lyrics in frozen 2 elsa’s songs match up so well with the coming out experience, i have difficulty imagining the song-writers weren’t aware of it, especially since people were already calling for elsa to be gay. Like let’s take a look at these songs -- into the unknown first. She sings

“Everyone I've ever loved is here within these walls I'm sorry, secret siren, but I'm blocking out your calls I've had my adventure, I don't need something new I'm afraid of what I'm risking if I follow you”

This idea of having being afraid of ruining relationships even (and especially) with the people you love most by coming out is something that a lot of queer people can relate to. Then she sings:

“Are you here to distract me so I make a big mistake? Or are you someone out there who's a little bit like me? Who knows deep down I'm not where I'm meant to be? Every day's a little harder as I feel your power grow Don't you know there's part of me that longs to go”

How much do i need to explain this? (like all my 7 followers are some form of queer anyway lol) But again this battle of trying to hide but knowing deep down that you can’t, longing for “someone a little bit like me” --  it’s classic queer. Then she sings a bridge-type thing:

“Are you out there? Do you know me? Can you feel me? Can you show me?”

I mean, again, what is this but longing for community. Then in the climactic song “show yourself”, she sings this:

“Something is familiar Like a dream, I can reach but not quite hold I can sense you there Like a friend I've always known”

this is literally just about reading stone butch blues.

The climactic lyric is  “You are the one you've been waiting for all your life” (sung to her rather than by her) and i mean again, this is about finally giving yourself permission to live as your true self. And not gonna lie, i dug that shit. it felt quite authentic. obviously they didn’t actually make her gay, bc of course, but she is gay in my heart!

Ok, so what would have made the movie live up to its full potential?

1) fixing that stuff i already said about the parents; it felt like such bs that anna and elsa were dealing with ancestral sins but also their parents were saints whose love fixed everything? how much more interesting would it have been if reckoning with their parents’ impacts on them led them to reckoning with the impacts of their entire ancestry and in turn their society? if reckoning with their personal responsibilities to each other led them to consider their society’s responsibility to fix the past wrongs that allowed it to flourish? this wouldn’t even be counter to disney’s individualism, but it allows for a slight reconceptualization of it that i think would feel fresh.

2) having actual consequences for the colonialism and genocide

3) either cutting all the new magic system stuff or developing it in a way that in turn helps develop the themes. frankly, the “sometimes people are born with magic” that was implied in movie one was enough.

4) making elsa gay, and i say this not just because i want gay characters but because that genuinely makes sense within the story

5) basically, the central theme should have been “i have all this baggage and i can’t resolve it by looking for answers only within my society; in order to be fully at peace with myself, i must work to right the wrongs of my society that obscured the different ways of knowledge that could help people like me; sometimes you must go into the unknown in order to understand the known” which is a message i think very well suited for the united states!

[fyrapartnersearch]

one gay, please

hey there! you can call me dreamer. she/her, pan person who is Very enthusiastic about all things gay! 24, GMT timezone with quite the hectic sleep schedule, cat mom (will totally send you pics if you ask)! been writing on and off since i was like, 11? (i got exposed to the internet way too young lmao) i’m not gonna claim to be amazing at writing or anything, though. if you’d like to see a writing sample, just ask!

the roleplay stuff:

i love me some original roleplays! canon stuff isn’t my cup of tea unfortunately

i usually write in 3rd person, past tense (present tense is ok with me if you prefer!)

quality > quantity! i don’t pay attention to my word count tbh; i just write whatever’s appropriate for the situation. my minimum is probably around, like, 200-ish? and i can go up to 3k, maybe more. it really depends on what’s happening! but i always make sure to give my partner something to work with, ofc! i just Really like describing my character’s thoughts and feelings

my reply frequency varies depending on what’s happening in my life (which is nothing, currently). I really don’t think i can go for a post every day all the time, so it’s more of 2-3 times a week. even though i have nothing going on, sometimes i just wanna enjoy other hobbies that day or chill and binge random youtube videos, y’know? the upside is that the same applies to you: just because you *can* reply at to the roleplay doesn’t mean you *have* to in that given moment, and i’m more than happy just chatting!

which takes me to my next thing! ooc chatter is like, super important to me. no matter how good a person’s writing or characters are, if i feel like they’re very into talking with me, i get demotivated quickly. so *please* be open to talking! whether it’s discussing the roleplay and poking fun at our characters or just chatting about the day we’ve had and our hobbies, i would definitely like to at least attempt to be buddies!

i LOVE romance! however, it’s not a requirement, and i’m just as happy to do something platonic or like, see whether our characters have natural chemistry rather than pre-planning anything. unfortunately, i am Not into hetero romances between our characters. at all. but give me all your bisexual and gay and lesbian and nonbinary characters and i will be more than happy!

mature themes (alcohol, drugs, violence, smut, etc.) are a-ok. smut is also cool! i’ve honestly been wanting to try my hand at writing more smut, so if you’re also into that (with the plot still being the major focus tho) then that’s awesome! if not, fade to black is still fine with me! just let me know your comfort level with sexual topics and the other mature stuff because the last thing i wanna do is mention anything that will make you uncomfortable! that said, whether you’re fine with mature themes or not, please be 18+!! It’s just a comfort thing for me personally!

if we do go with smutty stuff, i’m not down with top/bottom dynamics, honestly. switching is where it’s at (or at the very least not forcing roles from the very beginning and letting things happen naturally)

limits:

-adult x minor

-master x slave

-alpha/beta/omega

-incest

-bestiality

-vore

-toilet stuff

-romanticized abuse

now that we are hopefully on the same page, you may be wondering, what about plot ideas? well, i do have those! however, i’m kind of looking for something centered more around our characters. there still has to be some kind of plot, of course, but i’m very interested in character interaction and development right now moreso than getting from point A to point B in the story as fast as we can. basically, i’ve got a bunch of characters of mine whom i’m itching to use and flesh out, and i’d love to put any of them against your character(s) and see what happens! my characters already have some sort of ongoing story or whatever so it definitely wouldn’t be hard to create something together! but if that doesn’t sound like your cup of tea, here are some plot concepts i’m really into that we can work out a plot for together:

-androids! i have an android oc whom i’m dying to try out, so any kind of world where androids exist would be amazing. i think his backstory could potentially make for quite an interesting plot too!

-angels, demons, fallen angels, demons kicked out of hell or just undercover. i. love. angels and demons. i’m up for pretty much whatever when they’re involved! i’ve also got a couple of plot ideas i could throw at you if this is the stuff you like!

-vampires, werewolves, fairytale creatures, monsters that should only belong in people’s worst nightmares. i LOVE anything supernatural.

-thieves, assassins, bounty hunters, royalty, etc. YES. things are bound to be action-packed when people like these come in! alternatively, anything kinda like dnd class-like stuff (archers, warlocks, fighters, etc.) would also be amazing!

-very into dark academia or ‘boarding school but it’s magic’ in general rn!

-any mix of the above would be spectacular too!

besides all this, don’t be afraid to come to me with your own ideas/concepts at all!! just because i didn’t list them doesn’t mean i’m not interested in them; these’re just off the top of my head!

contact info:

another_dreamer@yahoo.com

when you contact me, please tell me a bit about yourself and what you’d like to write together! i’ve got discord for OOC chatter, but i prefer to give those out after an initial email. take care!

[mawritesbnha]

Oooooo can I please get a part 2 to the Todo liking Momo instead of reader request and throwing Bakugou in the mix (mayhaps he has a crush on them and found out Todoroki rejected them (￣ω￣) )

Is this turning into a serie? It just might!

Thank you for your request darling, I hope you’ll enjoy what I came up with!

You know I’m a bad writer because the only way I can channel bakuboi is by swearing lots lmao I’m sorry I swear I’m trying

Anyway it’s late and I can’t focus anymore… Enjoy my darlings!

Smoochies from Ma!

[1]   [3]

———————————————————————————————————–

Two weeks. It had been two weeks since that evening when Shouto came to your room.

“I’m really sorry, but I can’t return your feelings.”

Your heart still throbbed painfully at the bitter memory, your pride wounded by a fact your mind was already aware of.

The following days had been particularly trying for you, especially when Aizawa paired the three of you together during training. To say it was awkward would be the understatement of the year. You were mad at both of them : Todoroki for rejecting you, and Momo for betraying you. You weren’t a fool, or maybe you were, but you were not an idiot: you knew she was the one who told him about your feelings, and even though she probably only thought about helping you, you would have been just fine without the cold shower that had resulted. The fact that she had not tried to discuss things with you before going to Shouto was also the reason you were so mad at her, and since she had thought pointless to talk to you, you had decided to not talk to her. You knew you were being childish, but it hurt. It hurt too much to try and be mature about the whole thing. You had just had your heart broken into a thousand pieces, you deserved to be cut some slack! But the most difficult thing to handle was the way Todoroki looked at you. Those beloved heterochromatic eyes of his only seemed to hold pity for you. He obviously felt bad for hurting your feelings, but seeing that look on his face felt like an insult. You didn’t need him to feel sorry for you!

Anyway, your performance that day was pretty terrible. Your teacher seemed to catch on but told the three of you to just sort it out and to act like actual heroes while you did. This made you think. Aizawa was right, you were training to become a hero, you couldn’t let your emotions get the better of you like that. You felt so shameful about it that you swore to yourself that you’d do your best to separate things from then on. And you were happy to say you had been doing a good job! All those efforts were also helping you get over Shouto’s rejection. It was a slow process, but you were getting there, and things were finally going back to normal.

“Momo, can we talk?”

You wanted to have a heart to heart conversation with her so you could let it all out and finally move on, because dear God did you miss your friend. She was all too happy to oblige, the situation had really weighed on her as well.

You both talked for a while. First about the dreaded subject, but then you started to chat about more idle things like you used to and it felt so liberating a joyful giggle escaped you. Momo’s eyes lit up at the sound and she gave you such a warm smile in return that you felt the need to hug her on the spot. But as you were reaching out, you got interrupted by Bakugo dragging his feet to the kitchen. Probably surprised to see the two of you still up, he glared at you before deprecatingly clicking his tongue :

“You extras should be in bed, Aizawa’s gonna get pissed.”

“What about you? You’re not in bed.” You couldn’t help but slyly retort.

“Fuck off I’m just grabbing a glass of water.”

And with that he left, not even bothering to look at you.

“Damn it, I forgot the bloody glass.”

As he kicked his door closed behind him, Katsuki could feel his frustration grow.

He had heard your conversation with Momo, he hadn’t meant to pry, but you weren’t exactly discreet! And yeah, when he realised what you were talking about he actually stayed to listen a bit longer, sue him!

“Fucking two faced freak…” He grumbled before letting himself unceremoniously fall on his bed.

Bakugo would probably never admit it, but he had a crush on you. Or at the very least, he didn’t find you as insufferable as the rest of the world. So to hear that you had feelings for another… Todoroki of all people! Of course, being the observant guy that he was, Katsuki already suspected something. But to hear it loud and clear, to have an actual confirmation… Well fuck, it hurt.

He sighed angrily, turning in his bed, trying to find a comfortable position so sleep could put him out of his misery.

“But he rejected her…” A sneaky little voice in his head piped up.

No. He didn’t want to be that guy who’s happy his crush got rejected so he can make a move. He’s not a freaking vulture! And he’s also not gonna be someone’s consolation prize.

Yes, that’s what he was telling himself.

[jecngs]

                it’s  ya  girl  𝒅𝒓𝒊  (nineteen,  she/her,  pst  but  i’m  in  the  philippines  for  two  weeks  so  that’s gmt+8 !),  a  soft  edgy  born  with  a  name  that  means  "dark  one  of  the  lord"  on  friday  the  13th  !  if  you’re  meeting  me  for  the  first  time,  some  fun  facts  are  that  i  have  the  incredibly  dangerous  combo  of  high  ambition  and  poor  time  management  and  i’d  Risk  It  All  for  a.c.e,  ateez,  and  loona  !  so,  anyway,  here’s  my  poor,  poor  girl,  miss  amelia  !  why  i  did  her  so  dirty  is  a  Good  Question  i  do  not  have  the  answer  to,  but  let's  plot  !

* ╱  𝑸𝑼𝑰𝑪𝑲 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑻𝑺

𝗕𝗜𝗥𝗧𝗛  𝗡𝗔𝗠𝗘:  amelia  christine  jeong   𝗡𝗜𝗖𝗞𝗡𝗔𝗠𝗘:  lia,  li,  call  her  amy  and  she’ll  beat  u  up   𝗔𝗚𝗘:  twenty   𝗗𝗢𝗕:  november  29,  1998   𝗭𝗢𝗗𝗜𝗔𝗖:  sagittarius  sun,  aries  moon   𝗢𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡:  bisexual   𝗢𝗖𝗖𝗨𝗣𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡:  actress

* ╱  𝑩𝑨𝑪𝑲𝑮𝑹𝑶𝑼𝑵𝑫

         ♡   daughter  of  edith  byun  and  christopher  jeong,  two  major  players  in  broadway  (and  later  on  the  film  industry),  she  was  practically  famous  in  the  industry  before  she  was  even  born.  it  was  without  a  doubt  that  she  was  anticipated  to  be  nothing  short  of  talented  and  successful  once  she  popped  out  of  the  womb!  imagine  legendary  dance  couple  keone  and  mari  madrid’s  child  but  if  they  both  had  a  reputation  akin  to  idina  menzel  or  lea  salonga.  that’s  basically  lia.

        ♡   with  this,  her  parents  unfortunately  succumbed  to  public  pressure  and  wanted  to  ensure  that  their  daughter  would  meet  these  expectations.  to  fall  short  would  be  the  greatest  misfortune  on  her  reputation,  and  they  simply  would  not  have  that.  was  it  the  healthiest  mindset  to  have  raising  their  first  and  only  child?  lmao  no,  but  it’s  the  mindset  that  came  with  the  fame  they  had.  eyes  would  be  on  her  the  moment  she  came  into  the  world,  so  she  had  to  be  everything  the  public  wanted  her  to  be.

        ♡   a  few  months  before  lia  was  scheduled  to  be  born,  her  father  was  cast  in  the  us  tour  of  miss  saigon  (pretend  there  was  one  in  1998),  and  it  overlapped  with  the  due  date!  he  was  supposed  to  be  performing  at  the  pantages  for  a  few  weeks  in  that  general  timeframe  of  when  her  mom  could  be  going  into  labor,  so  they  took  a  risk  and  just…  moved  to  los  angeles  because  he  wasn’t  going  to  miss  the  birth  of  his  child!  so  ever  since  she  was  born  she  resided  in  the  hollywood  area!

        ♡    she  was  homeschooled  for  a  majority  of  her  childhood,  but  ur  a  Big  Fool  if  u  thought  it  was  by  her  parents!  they  were  incredibly  busy  with  their  own  careers  so  she  had  a  nanny  and  a  homeschool  teacher!  and  to  be  Quite  Honest  her  nanny  was  more  of  a  mother  to  her  than  miss  edith  could  ever  be!  to  lia,  her  parents  were  more  like  a  dream,  a  fantasy,  some  sort  of  ethereal  beings  —  untouchable.  [cue  parental  longing]

        ♡   despite  how  much  the  media  loved  to  talk  about  amelia  and  her  parents,  she  didn't  actually  get  to  see  them  all  that  often!  they  loved  her,  there's  no  doubt  about  it,  but  they  didn't  exactly  know  to  express  it...  despite  being  acclaimed  performers  SGKSDJGHDS  so!  basically  in  lia's  mind,  succeeding  meant  getting  love  from  her  parents  because  they  always  seemed  to  pay  the  most  attention  to  her  when  she  was  doing  something  impressive  —  they  loved  to  show  her  off  to  their  colleagues  like  some  sort  of  dog  who  can  do  tricks.  lia  ate  up  this  "love",  though,  because  there's  nothing  that  beats  the  glimmer  in  their  eyes  when  they  watch  her  perform.

        ♡    lia  took  private  lessons  for  everything  ranging  from  acting,  voice,  and  dance!  fun  fact:  she’s  classically  trained  in  several  dance  styles,  such  as  contemporary,  jazz,  ballet,  tap,  and  hip  hop!  she  was  basically  set  to  follow  her  parents’  footsteps  with  all  of  this  training.  she  played  several  child/teen  roles  in  musicals  thanks  to  her  family,  and  it  was  an  almost  effortless  kickstart  to  her  career.

        ♡    when  she  was  high  school  aged,  lia  was  admitted  into  la  county  school  of  the  arts,  but  she  wasn’t  there  for  long.  despite  growing  up  being  taught  how  to  handle  lingering  paparazzi  and  answer  questions  interviewers  sent  her  way,  she  was  never  quite  taught  how  to  handle  the  Hell  that  is  high  school.  she  wasn’t  accepted  well  into  the  social  climate  and  was  frequently  bullied  and  judged.  they  didn’t  believe  that  she  worked  to  be  there,  she  was  only  there  because  of  her  parents.  they  didn’t  actually  know  anything  about  her,  but  they  made  these  assumptions  that  eventually  led  to  her  pulling  out  of  school.  she  had  been  excited  to  finally  see  what  it’d  be  like  to  make  friends  of  her  own  —  friends  that  weren’t  just  fed  to  her  because  of  who  her  parents  were.  she  didn’t  know  that  same  fact  would  make  it  all  the  more  difficult.

* ╱  𝑪𝑨𝑹𝑬𝑬𝑹

        ♡    she's  a  theatre  kid  through  and  through,  and  that's  all  i  have  to  say  about  that!  lia  grew  up  adoring  the  theatre,  not  only  watching  the  shows  her  parents  were  casted  in  but  almost  every  single  one  she  could  become  an  audience  to!  it  was  to  no  surprise  when  the  public  found  her  in  minor  and  supporting  roles  as  a  child,  and  it  was  pretty  much  expected  for  her  to  become  one  of  the  next  big  names  in  broadway  —  she  was  anticipated  to  make  the  Big  Move  to  new  york  once  she  got  her  footing  in  the  industry!

        ♡    as  time  progressed,  she  continued  to  pursue  theatre,  slowly  taking  on  more  mature  roles.  every  now  and  then  she  would  be  given  television/film  offers,  but  it  was  more  of  a  side  gig  at  the  time.  theatre  was  truly  what  she  was  passionate  about.  even  though  it  was  a  profession  forced  on  her,  it  was  no  lie  that  she  actually  enjoyed  it.

        ♡    she  began  to  develop  her  own  fame  outside  of  her  parents  around  the  time  she  was  seventeen/eighteen,  with  a  supporting  role  in  an  independent  film  that  garnered  pretty  notable  success.  around  this  time,  her  parents  invested  in  a  publicist/agent  just  for  her,  a  relative  of  edith  who  was  also  involved  in  the  industry.  it's  true  when  they  say  it's  bad  to  mix  personal  affairs  with  business  because  things  began  to  take  a  bit  of  a  turn  for  miss  lia!

        ♡    her  pr  team  was  really  big  on  transforming  her  the  Big  Name  everyone  expected  her  to  be,  all  the  while  creating  an  identity  completely  separate  from  her  family  where  she  can  thrive.  and  that’s  exactly  what  they  did.  they  created  an  identity.

        ♡    she  had  a  love/hate  relationship  with  being  associated  with  her  parents.  on  one  hand,  it  was  a  burden  having  to  constantly  live  with  the  expectation  of  being  just  as  successful  as  them,  but  on  the  other,  it  fueled  her  fantasies  of  being  the  dream  family  she  had  always  wanted  them  to  be.

        ♡    they  stressed  the  importance  of  whom  she  associated  with,  they  slowly  transitioned  her  out  of  theatre  and  immersed  her  completely  into  the  film  industry,  lining  her  up  for  roles  that  would  eventually  become  quite  memorable.  they  took  who  lia  was  and  restructured  her  as  they  saw  fit,  and  lia  went  along  with  all  of  this  because  they  constantly  reassured  her  that  this  was  what  was  best  for  her  career.  she  didn't  want  to  go  against  family,  for  to  ruin  any  connections  with  her  parents  would  be  a  step  closer  to  losing  them  completely,  so  she  played  along  in  this  role  made  just  for  her.

        ♡    her  brain  eventually  became  fine  tuned  to  see  relationships  as  “how  can  this  benefit  me?”  rather  than  actual  companionship  which  Sucks  bc  she  totally  wants  friendship  —  she’s  always  craved  it  —  but  in  the  back  of  her  mind  there’s  always  this  lil  checkbox  where  she  has  to  get  something  from  this  which  is  Not  Healthy  but  she  doesn’t  know  what  to  do  about  it  because  she’s  in  too  deep  to  change  anything

        ♡    she’s  become  so  detached  from  her  individuality  and  become  the  rising  starlet  her  team  shaped  her  into.  she  hasn’t  been  in  a  musical  production  in  a  long  time,  so  it’s  as  if  they  ripped  a  major  part  of  her  identity  away  from  her.  but  i  guess  that  was  the  plan  all  along.  i  don’t  wanna  say  that  her  mom's  cousin  has  some  lingering  resentment  toward  her  due  something  along  the  lines  of  always  living  in  her  shadow…  but  her  mom's  cousin  has  some  lingering  resentment  toward  her  mom.  it’s  just  cleverly  disguised  because  lia  is  technically  thriving  when  you  look  at  it  from  the  outside.  inside,  she  yearns  for  her  past.

        ♡    in  the  past  few  years,  she’s  been  conditioned  to  want  the  world.  she  thinks  she  is  owed  it,  but  this  sentiment  is  also  fueled  by  her  longing.  she  has  this  hunger  for  success  that’s  highkey  kinda  unhealthy!  she  isn’t  even  capable  of  discussing  these  things  with  her  parents  because  they’re  all  busy  all  the  time!  her  team  would  tell  her  to  say  yes  to  projects,  pr  stuff  including  false  articles  later  debunked  just  for  the  publicity,  whatever  works!  she’s  been  forced  into  this  addiction  for  attention  but  it’s  pretty  much  a  result  of  her  channeling  the  negative  energy  toward  her  career…  to  help  her  career?  but  in  a  way  that’s  detrimental  to  her  own  health.  her  sleep  schedule?  fucked  up!  she’s  ruining  herself  from  the  inside  out  and  she  doesn’t  want  to  admit  it!

        ♡    her  sentiment  toward  her  public  identity  is  akin  to  lottie  person  of  the  snotgirl  comic!  who  she  is  interpreted  as  on  social  media  isn’t  the  whole  truth.  she  posts  as  if  she’s  under  careful  watch  because,  well,  she  is.  anything  her  team  didn't  like  simply  didn't  cut  it  and  was  deleted  almost  immediately  followed  by  a  sharp  scolding.  "image  is  everything"  is  one  of  the  many  sentences  ingrained  into  her  mind.  an  effortless  kind  of  everyday,  that's  what  she  was  supposed  to  be.  idk  how  to  explain  it  well  but  u  know  those  instagrams  where  it  looks  super  casual  but  is  probably  super  planned?  yes?  idk  in  my  head  she  has  an  instagram  feed  like  hyulari  or  pameluft  where  it  looks  rly  normal  but  it's  rly  pretty

        ♡    i'm  trying  to,  like,  put  it  into  words  what  her  persona  is  perceived  as,  but  it's  something  along  the  lines  of  a  person  you  think  you  know  but  you  really  don't.  you  see  her  posts,  you  see  who  she's  with,  where  she's  having  coffee,  but  who  is  lia,  really?

        ♡    clearly,  this  entire  situation  can  get  extremely  overwhelming!  the  melatonin  she  takes  to  help  control  her  sleeping  habits  also  gifts  her  with  the  side  effect  of  irritability,  so  there  have  been  times  when  she  “slipped  up”  and  Snapped!  her  fans  are  quick  to  defend  her,  however,  claiming  she’s  tired  and  needs  rest,  or  place  blame  on  the  individuals  who  dare  disrespect  her  privacy  and  personal  space. 

        ♡    scandals  are  also  something  she  isn’t  immune  to.  she  frequents  club  and  party  settings  often,  and  rumors  often  circulate  about  her  activities,  but  it's  easy  to  shift  blame  on  bad  influences.  her  image  isn't  exactly  squeaky  clean,  but  hey,  as  her  team  likes  to  say,  "total  prudes  don't  get  attention"

        ♡    people  who  work  with  lia  either  love  her  or  hate  her,  there's  really  no  in  between.  she's  friendly  or  stuck-up.  some  believe  she's  ungrateful,  maybe  they're  onto  something.  she  doesn't  cause  trouble  on  sets,  but  people  love  to  make  assumptions  about  this  girl  whose  identity  they  can't  seem  to  crack.  but  they'll  be  damned  if  they  don't  see  her  come  in  every  morning  with  a  smile  on  her  face.

        ♡    if  it  wasn't  clear,  she  despises  the  identity  she’s  forced  into!  it  feels  like  a  role  she  has  to  play  almost  24/7,  and  she’d  easily  give  it  all  up  if  it  didn’t  mean  losing  everything  good  that  came  from  it.  she  missed  the  girl  she  used  to  be,  the  girl  anyone  could  easily  approach  to  talk  about  their  day.  she  doesn’t  know  amelia  anymore.  she  hasn’t  been  amelia  for  a  long  time,  only  lia.

        ♡    she  learned  recently  that  the  contract  with  her  team  is  set  for  a  renewal  soon,  which  prompted  a  crisis  within  lia.  to  terminate  the  contract  would  mean  freedom,  but  at  what  cost?  spicy,  stay  tuned.

* ╱  𝑷𝑬𝑹𝑺𝑶𝑵𝑨𝑳𝑰𝑻𝒀

        ♡    lia  and  her  relationship  with  her  own  identity  has  definitely  affected  her  personality  and  how  she  portrays  herself  even  when  she  is  at  her  most  comfortable

        ♡    my  base  inspiration  that  Started  It  All  for  lia  came  from  me  watching  a  stephanie  soo  vlog  KSDLHGDSG  so  yea  she's  like  this  likable,  kinda  loud  and  blunt  personality  but  that  comes  more  as  a  surprise  to  people  who  get  to  know  her  because  she's  been  molded  into  having  a  more  suppressed  type  of  character  —  friendly,  but  never  too  much

        ♡    for  the  sake  of  her  sanity,  i'm  gonna  say  that  she  still  holds  on  to  her  personality  in  fear  of  becoming  too  absorbed  by  her  public,  consumable  image,  but  there  are  times  when  she  confuses  the  two.  she  can  slip  up  and  say  something  a  bit  too  blunt  in  an  interview  or  find  herself  holding  back  with  her  close  friends.  she's  essentially  become  a  blend  of  her  true  nature  and  her  public  image  where  it's  almost  the  same  thing

        ♡    incredibly,  incredibly  insecure!  lia  does  not  have  a  hold  on  her  own  identity,  so  even  the  smallest  things  will  make  her  question  everything!  she  constantly  wonders  if  there’s  a  party  happening  that  she’s  not  invited  to,  if  people  like  her,  if  people  are  gossiping  about  her.  so  many  aspects  of  her  current  identity  have  been  conditioned  to  be  close  enough  to  genuine  that  she  actually  doesn’t  know  what’s  real  anymore.

        ♡    she  can  be  a  little  bit  manipulative  if  it  comes  down  to  her  career.  she  doesn’t  really  mean  it  but  she  can’t  help  it  at  this  point!

        ♡    if  she’s  friends  with  someone,  even  if  it’s  for  some  symbiosis-type  relationship,  she  will  play  into  that  role,  she  will  act  as  if  it’s  real.  even  if  she  doesn’t  believe  it,  she  wants  to  believe  it  because  she  also  is  unsure  if  she’s  capable  of  real  feelings??!  she  thinks  she’s  devoid  of  emotion  but  she  just  …  doesn’t  think  about  it.  like,  she  doesn’t  want  to  admit  to  herself  that  she  cares  about  people  bc  she  knows  the  Ugly  side  of  her  brain  will  hyper-analyze  the  relationship  and  find  ways  to  sabotage  it  for  herself  to  the  point  where  she  can’t  enjoy  it  anymore  —  so  i  guess  it's  safest  for  her  to  think  that  this  really  isn't  her!  coping  mechanisms  let's  roll  out!

        ♡   she’s  definitely  had  her  fair  share  of  significant  others  in  the  past,  but  they’ve  been  mixed  into  a  bag  of  a  bunch  of  pr  relationships  (she's  had  so  many)  so  she  doesn’t  know  if  she’s  capable  of  actually  loving  someone.  it!  all!  seems!  fake!  but  she  definitely  craves  affection  and  will  try  to  find  it  wherever  she  can.

        ♡    tldr  she's  actually  a  nice  gal,  outgoing,  caring,  but  she  can't  help  but  think  that  she's  a  robot  because  she  thinks  too  much  about  how  people  see  her

* ╱  𝑭𝑼𝑵 𝑭𝑨𝑪𝑻𝑺

       ♡    super  prone  to  asian  glow

       ♡    loves  anything  peach!  peach  soju  with  yakult  is  her  favorite  alcoholic  beverage,  peach  is  her  favorite  color,  but  she  doesn't  like  actual  peaches???  make  it  make  sense

       ♡    credited  as  lia  jeong  in  everything.  feels  weird  if  someone  addresses  her  as  amelia  if  they're  not  reading  an  official  document  or  really  close  to  her.

       ♡    feels  a  strange  connection  to  "the  i  love  you  song"  from  the  25th  annual  putnam  county  spelling  bee

       ♡    her  favorite  film  genre  to  work  on  is  definitely  romance  because  it's  fun  to  pretend  to  be  loved!  coming  of  age  is  a  close  second.

[atopearth]

Ikemen Revolution Part 6 - Sirius Oswald Route

You’ve gotta admire how well Sirius can multitask lmao, he can continue a conversation with the heroine in the carriage whilst assessing the situation outside and give orders to the soldiers on their formation etc against the Red Army lol. Gotta appreciate how much he wanted to protect her from fear by making small talk to distract her, and then afterwards, he noticed that she was still pretty scared seeing how battered the carriage was in the aftermath of the attack, so he patted her head to comfort her and welcome her to their big family with good food hahaha. I’ve always liked Sirius so I’m super excited about this route btw and seeing his actions, I’m already in love😍

I always love seeing how considerate and meticulous Seth is, decorating her room, making her feel at home, giving her a tour etc, he’s such a sweet guy. Hahahaha, I love how she’s so scared of Sirius that when she saw him pick up a knife in the kitchen or whatever, she asked him to spare her life LOL. Relax, heroine! He’s been protecting you this whole time, why would he kill you now lollll. I can understand fear against the Red Army but c'mon, Sirius doesn’t look that scary! He’s obviously cooking something for you since you haven’t eaten for a whole day! I’ll cut her some slack though, she just arrived into an unknown world with unknown people at war and there are people that seem like they want to kill her, so it’s natural to be so scared. Omgg he wiped her mouth with a napkin, he’s so subtly forward, he probably doesn’t mean anything by it since he’s probably just accustomed to taking care of people but kyaaa~~

He even baked her croissants for breakfast?!? And got her tea and fruit?! Can he be any more considerate and perfect?! Lmao, the thought of Sirius holding a watering can watering flowers whilst watching over the training of his soldiers is just so hilarious to me😂😂 I was wondering why he got her to wake up so early to watch them train, it was actually to show her how strong, hardworking and capable these guys are and how dedicated they are to their training, and how they’ll definitely protect her, so that was nice of Sirius to do, I mean showing is better than telling! LOL that a raccoon was trying to flying tackle the heroine, and it only served to create a beautiful romantic moment where Sirius hugged her to protect her, but I like it😍😍 LOL, Sirius is in charge of everything, from personnel to inventory management on stuff like cooking supplies. It was legit so hilarious when Seth and Luka were like it’s the end of the world that they ran out of olive oil and grapeseed oil to mix with the pasta, and then Sirius comes by telling them he ordered some and even picked some fresh oregano since he thought it’d go well with the pasta hahahaha. Why is Sirius so perfect?😂😂

HAHAHA, I love Sirius, he’s such a tease and I love it when they ruffle the heroine’s hair, it’s so cuteee~ Funniest thing was when he gave her jobs to do, and they were all simple odd jobs like peeling a bag of potatoes and tending to weeds, best thing was that every time he gave her a job, he also gave her a snack LOL, and they’re such yummy snacks like cream puffs etc!! He’s gonna get her fat at this rate🤣🤣 I wonder if the girl at the flower shop is someone he previously dated!😮 So funny when it was actually radish seeds that she gifted him when the heroine thought they would be flower seeds, and now he’s teasing her for being a glutton and that he’ll make her radish salad when they’re ready🤣

Lmao when the heroine underestimated how hard it would be to take care of Chutney (Sirius’ pet raccoon), I’m surprised she didn’t realise considering it nearly tackled her before lol. The destruction that the raccoon does is magnificent though, enough that Ray and Fenrir have to halt their meeting to keep their pets safe hahaha. Lmao at the heroine and Chutney bonding so well (after she got through to it since they were both picked up and cared for by Sirius lmao) that they’re even scrubbing curtains together hahaha. Lmao at the guys having to force Sirius to have a day off by using the heroine to walk around with him, it was so sweet when he told her that today was the first time in his life that he could truly relax, since he was spending time with her. He’s such a workaholic!

Well, that was the most pointless meeting between the two armies, it was legit just, no we don’t surrender, okay we’ll go to war tomorrow, see ya. Like, was that supposed to be a constructive meeting?! Seriously. The five minutes Lancelot gave Sirius to talk to him was more productive, since Sirius believes that there’s more to the reason why Lancelot’s so adamant on this war and since he wants peace above everything, he wants to know what it is to stop and help Lancelot. No idea why Harr appeared out of nowhere to kill Lancelot though… Ooh, so the Black Army had kept asking Sirius to become the king until Ray came along. I’m assuming Sirius only really joined because he wanted to save Lancelot or something?

I can understand Sirius’ sentiments for not wanting to use the heroine’s power to repel magic though, he’s right. In the end, this is war and if the heroine participates in it, even if it’s just repelling magic, she is inadvertently pushing the Red Army back and giving an advantage to the Black Army soldiers to possibly kill the Red Army soldiers, so she could be basically contributing to their deaths. I’m glad Sirius thought about that and so he didn’t want her to carry such burdens and dirty her clean hands for them when she doesn’t need to and shouldn’t. He’s so thoughtful, it kills me☺️☺️ I love Sirius, I seriously do, omg. When the heroine spotted him with the watering can during their time at war, and he talked about how the Black Army was fighting to protect their everyday lives, so if they neglect to take care of their home and to love it as sacrifice for winning the battle, then they’ve got their priorities backwards, and when I read that, I thought he was so right, so so right! It’s exactly because it’s wartime that it’s even more important to take care of their everyday since it’s at risk of being toppled!

I guess Sirius is that kinda guy huh? Someone who likes things and takes everything in moderation, so that he can stay calm and collected to fulfill his duties. He’s not emotionless but in a sense, you could say he’s become numb to a lot of things because his position doesn’t allow him to be too emotional or the morale of the army will dwindle. Which is why he’s a serious guy but also likes to joke every now and then, he tries to balance everything, including himself because he needs to be in control. Guess he won’t be able to control his feelings for the heroine though🙃 Considering how the heroine is always so straightforward, trying her best to help and wearing her emotions on her sleeve, I guess he’s attracted to how sincere she is in everything she does. But dang that kiss on the forehead was cuteeee.

Loved how well Sirius’ plan went! Omgg drunk Sirius pulling the heroine to the sofa with him saying he doesn’t want to be alone is the cutest thing ever!!!!😍😍 So cute when Sirius blushed at the heroine knowing that he likes things lively rather than being alone, and it was just so peaceful to see them enjoy a cup of coffee together watching over the others~~ But lmaoo at Seth pointing at them to the others proving that there’s something going on between them🤣 LOLL at Luka asking Seth , what does he mean by Sirius stealing the heroine’s heart, “aren’t her ribs in the way?” hahahaha, you’re so cute Luka lmaoo. LOL at the guys confronting her to ask if she really does like him and she practically immediately admits it🤣 Lolll at Sirius hearing everything and seeing them discuss happily how she’s going to win his heart hahaha, that is definitely a hard conversation to walk into😂

Sirius playing with the heroine’s hair is like the cutest moment ever. I didn’t think Harr was actually school friends with both Sirius and Lancelot though, and that Harr’s recruitment by the Tower and subsequent banishment into becoming a wanted man actually motivated Lancelot to want to mend the Red and Black barrier even more. OHHH, so the woman who sold the heroine those radish seeds was actually Sirius’ sister! That’s his family business! No wonder why he seems to put so much care into flowers and just the garden in general, he knows about them really well since his family business is a flower shop! Tbh it’s kinda crazy to think that someone as capable as Sirius really just wanted to take care of flowers for the rest of his life, I guess it’s something nice and calming, so great for the Sirius that doesn’t like to fight. It’s so cute how he still remembers that Lancelot once upon a time said that when he becomes the King of Hearts and rids of the conflict between the two armies, he would fly here and buy flowers from Sirius. It sounds like such a silly but sweet dream haha.

It must have been very hurtful for Harr during that meeting 7 years ago. He trusted Lancelot and Sirius and called them out, but instead of being listened to, Lancelot attacked him and everyone came out injured physically and emotionally from that meeting. Things had changed for them and they could no longer be the naive and simple kids they once were, especially Sirius…since he essentially gave up on his dream to take care of the flower shop in order to try and save Lancelot and Harr from whatever that is restricting them… Damn right heroine, you tell him!! Sirius, you’re definitely not an old man! You’re mature, caring and a great gentleman! Omgg, when he wrapped his arm around her and let her cuddle against him to “return the favour” of her listening to him etc since she needed some comforting, I was like this is so sweeeet!

It was so good to see Lancelot finally tell Sirius everything and tell him that he still thinks Sirius looks best in an apron and a watering can rather than a soldier uniform. You can really see how much he really cherishes Sirius. It was so tough to keep all this to himself. I was so touched when Sirius said he had found a third wish he wanted to come true no matter what (first two was save Lancelot and bring Harr back into the light) and it was for the heroine to be happy and safe and that Cradle isn’t that place anymore. But omggg, even more touched when he bought her the right sized shoes this time, I never thought he’d actually remember so well about how he got it wrong the first time, so he wants the last gift he gives her to be shoes in the right size. It’s just so…perfect. The kisses were also👌👌

Kinda wanted to see Sirius, Harr and Lancelot combine their strengths to defeat Amon but it’s okay I guess, since we got to see Sirius come all the way to the Land of Reason to pick the heroine up back to Cradle, shows how much he really wants her to really stay with him for the rest of his life😊 So cute when all the Black Army guys were so happy about her return though hahaha, the thought of Ray rubbing her head, Fenrir pinching her cheeks, Luka gripping her hand and Seth hugging her, dangg that harem sounds nice🤣 It’s also really cute how all their actions show their personalities so well☺️ Kinda disappointed in the romantic ending since it just described their kisses and that’s all, but it was cute that Lancelot could get Sirius riled up with a letter and confess his love properly to the heroine lol. Anyway, all good, the CG was super pretty so that made up for it haha.

Overall, I loved Sirius. He didn’t disappoint at all. He was mature, gentlemanly, kind and considerate, he was definitely the whole package haha. Such a great guy that takes care of everyone but is also very passionate and will give everything for his friends. Nothing to complain about in this route and I have to say, I like it just as much as Fenrir’s, they’re my top two for sure!

[rubyleeray]

Hanzo and His Double Black Diamond Route

Aka the Yandere route we have all been waiting for! Here is my take on Hanzo’s route and why I believe it is the best writing we have seen in SLBP so far. I’m gonna ramble a lot, mention spoilers, and include some screenshots so be warned!

Firstly, what do I mean by Double Black Diamond Route? It’s a term used in skiing for trail that is more intense/difficult and should only be attempted by advanced skiers. Now please don’t get me wrong, I am not questioning anyone’s intelligence or reading comprehension if they dislike Hanzo’s route, so don’t come for me.  I just want to offer my take and insights on this route which features the most complicated writing and complex character we have seen to date in SLBP. The previous route/lord that held that title was Ieyasu and what do you know? He’s a major part in Hanzo’s route! 

Also I should mention that I have only played the Light Ending Arc so far but I will be playing the Shadow end after I finish Genya. 

Now that all that is out of the way -

HOLY SHIT I LOVED THIS ROUTE SO MUCH! It’s the best Yandere route I have ever played and for those of you that have seen the games I have on rotation, you know I love and know my yanderes.  My favourite thing about this route is actually the MC. I found her insufferable in the joint prologue and throughout Sakuya’s entire route to be frank, but WOW did she impress me in Hanzo’s route! Her growth and development are all I ask of a good story and not only did she change and grow but EVERYONE else does too - including Hanzo, Ieyasu, and Tadatsugu who conquers his fear of snakes with Haku (cutest gd scene). 

I also really like that she is mature and while she is inexperienced, she doesn’t kink shame herself like most MCs would(more on that later). 

Another thing I loved about this route were the blurred lines between reality and lies. I firmly believe and will go to my grave believing that almost nothing out of Hanzo’s mouth was a lie and that he only said it was because that was easier/what he was used to believing up until that point. The way the writers perfectly executed these intricacies just makes me so envious. I’m going to discuss THAT CHAPTER below but I just want to say - the biggest proof  that Hanzo isn’t lying about everything/all the time/possibly anything?! comes in the form of almost every one of his actions. A few examples off the top of my head:  

-He is a doctor to Ieyasu, the maids, and the townspeople. Sure he could gain something from being close to Ieyasu (but what exactly?) but the Townspeople and Maids? “Information” and/or “Boredom” are not enough motive to be so giving for so long in my opinion. Plus we have nothing concrete saying he was ever planning to betray Ieyasu ever before MC came along. 

-Stopping MC from murdering Nobunaga proves he cared about at least ONE of if not all the following: The entire country, Ieyasu, MC, Nobunaga. 

-Offering to teach MC everything she needs to know be a better ninja, person, and healer. If his only motive really was boredom(?), pot-stirring(?), deception(?) he wouldn’t have to teach her anything but being a better ninja. The dots just don’t connect! 

Hanzo’s Second Crossroads I’m telling you this as your friend - YOU NEED TO BUY AT LEAST THE CG - My heart STOPPED!  OH. MY. GOD. I swear I did a Jim from The Office look around the room because I couldn’t believe how hot and wild and kinky and dangerous it all felt. 

This is a scene I will never forget so long as I goddamn live! MC is about to leave for her mission and Hanzo is wishing her well and then suddenly he gets really emotional and cuddles her. Then he covers her eyes and puts a knife to her throat!?!?!?! AND SHE LOVES IT!

In Yandere routes moments like this (not that any other scene I can think of come close tbh) can come off Stockholm Syndrome-y but not this; it felt so right and so good! MC acknowledges the absurdity of the situation but what is most important in that moment to her is that Hanzo is actually expressing genuine feelings and they are of the same love MC feels for him. He’s just being his Extra AF self about it. I really just want to give the writers a standing ovation for this. It was the perfect mix of angst and beauty and sensuality. Also further proof he ain’t lyin If he really was the shady lying bitch he claimed to be - he would not be wearing a “soft” smile here when she can’t see - there are 8000 other adjectives that could have been used here but soft was the choice (Because he LOVES HER). The same can also be said of his choice of thinking of her as “small but mighty.” A shady bitch just tricking MC would’t think of her this way.

Hanzo Locking MC Up

This is the first scene I have scene where a Yandere’s actions were completely justified. MC was essentially about to light Japan on fire with war for the sake of her idea of revenge. Her clan doesn’t even care about revenge, they care about survival and rebirth. MC was so blinded by her anger and couldn’t see the bigger picture. Hanzo stopping her helped, but she really needed the time to cool off and unpack her feelings in order to be able to see the bigger picture.    Now Hanzo was a bit of a bitch letting her go so far but I firmly believe he didnt think she would be able to when push came to murder and when she DID, this was one of the first times he realized she wasn’t his puppet.

Chapter 12 - The Betrayal

I know a lot of people are going to be the most confused by this chapter - initially I was too but I screenshotted basically the whole thing and have read it over and over again so here is my interpretation.

“The” Betrayal is misleading from the start because there are several depending on which POV you choose to look at. Ieyasu’s trust is betrayed by MC and Hanzo by association when MC fails her mission, Ieyasu is then again betrayed by Hanzo when Hanzo attacks/poisons him, MC is betrayed by Hotaru her little flower giving friend, MC is betrayed by Hanzo when he poisons Ieyasu, Hanzo is betrayed by Ieyasu for giving up on the battle, Hanzo is betrayed by MC for not agreeing to run away with him after she said she would, and finally Hanzo is betrayed again by both of them for not doing what he said/thought they would do after he betrayed them (Ieyasu covering for him, and MC loving him despite everything).  It’s a LOT to process and makes me think of the party scene from the movie The Room. 

Now obviously the key betrayal comes from Hanzo attacking Ieyasu but why did Hanzo do it? Honestly - I don’t know if there is any one solid reason, but my theory is that he feels like MC’s failed mission would result in both Hanzo and MC’s deaths so he attacks Ieyasu KNOWING MC will step up and prove not only her value as a healer but her loyalty to Ieyasu and the entire clan. I firmly believe he was presenting her with options - 1) To run away with him after (which he said before and says after) or 2) Stay in Mikawa safely. The writers don’t really provide any definitive answers but one thing you know by the end of the route is that Hanzo feels in extremes. He loves big and he hurts big so that alone is enough to make me feel like my theory is the answer. Hanzo & Ieyasu

I LOVED IEYASU IN THIS ROUTE SO MUCH! This is my second favourite Ieyasu now (first being Ieyasu in Yukimura Act 2). The dynamic between Hanzo and Ieyasu is an absolute TREAT. What a unique relationship! They’re my new favourite duo!  RANDOM FAVOURITE  MOMENTS - The scene where he’s rubbing the bandaged wounds he inflicted and MC moans...like - THERE ARE NO WORDS! I feel like with this and what was essentially knife play in the crossroads, this is as kinky as the writers have gone and I am 100% here for it. 

(Also shady bitch liars aren’t capable of feeling regret so this scene is ALSO proof that Hanzo isn’t just a manipulative liar!) 

-The entire epilogue scene where he’s dangling you in front of Ieyasu and complaining about the attention you show Ieyasu. 

-When he gets jealous over you calling Kiyohiro by name.

-When Ieyasu wishes MC well! -When he asks you to “Live for him and only him” and it’s actually romantic!? Like sure this was during his self-proclaimed “living a lie” phase but you can TELL it’s a genuine ask.  -When he gets jealous of the moon lmao idiot

-Drunk Tadatsugu being shamed by Hanzo after he asks where you are headed off to and Hanzo implies you are going to the toilet.  -THIS

 - and THIS

So that’s the long and short of it!

I went in expecting Hanzo to be a one note shady bitch that has an unrealistic and unbelievable change of heart but he was the exact opposite of that! He is really sweet and caring especially for a ninja and there are so many layers to him I’ll never get bored!  This is one of my new favourite routes and I look forward to playing his bad end and writing with him as my new muse!  

Reminders: You are totally welcome to disagree with me and feel how you want to feel about Hanzo, I just really wanted to put my observations as a writer out there.  Also at the end of the day, this is just a game. I see  people forgetting this or taking it too seriously calling characters abusers or rapists etc and trying to make people feel bad for enjoying them or their stories.  You can like what you want to like and have the right to not feel shamed for it and any actions you take in a game do NOT reflect choices or actions you would make in real life. It’s all just fun and fantasy. 

Don’t listen to people like that and don’t be one of those people. If you’ve made it this far, thank you and I love you!

[comicteaparty]

March 11th-March 17th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from March 11th, 2019 to March 17th, 2019.  The chat focused on Raison d'Etre by Cloud Fourteen (Funari and Leigh).

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Raison d’Etre by Cloud Fourteen (Funari & Leigh)~! (http://raisondetrecomic.com/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PST), so keep checking back for more! You have until March 17th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. What do you believe are the nature and origin of Sachiko’s secret powers that make her Kregor’s target? What, if anything, might they have to do with Allie? What about the powers has supposedly killed Sachiko’s ancestors?

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

Yo! Funari here and I will make the time to check on messages this week when I can! Leigh and I will joint-answer through my name. I'll make sure to note when Leigh is answering :3 (ex. Leigh currently says "hello ") We can't wait to hear your thoughts!(edited)

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 4. Why do you think Yukina was so insistent on going to France after Sachiko and Koyomiko disappeared? In what ways has she or her life changed that might help or hurt her future goals? What is up with her new memory powers?

RebelVampire

1) im gonna name two cause i can and nobody can stop me. the first more serious one is the scene where kregor shows up for rie and then the fight rolls out. ive really come to appreciate how the event is laid out since things go from great to bad to whoops life changing catastrophe. its made especially sad just cause rie and sachiko were so close to kind of resolved their spat but whoops, no resolution for anybody. it was just a great scene that really upped the stakes and kind of changed the course of the path in a was that was refreshing and unexpected. the second scene im gonna pick is that small like 2 page scene where kregor is sick and elianne told him to rest. Like...legit did not expect that. As far as their relationship has been shown, it seemed angry and more boss/employee. But apparently Elianne cares a little bit about Kregor and i just love that. 3) right now its koneko. Cause Koneko's motivations and origin is a mystery i want to see delved into now. Koneko seems to be pulling lots of strings in the bg and this has really got me intrigued. And selfishly i just basically love a good mystery character who is definitely immensely more than they appear.(edited)

RebelVampire

2) So umm, going with Occam's razor on this theory. It seems most likely some ancestor of Sachiko got down with an umbrian probably. Some umbrian who was probably related to Elianne. Or maybe even Elianne cause who am i to judge how old Elianne is. I 100% think Allie is the manifestation of the powers and they're just all kind of shadow related. I just assume the ancestors were killed because theyre not the sort of powers the human body is supposed to be able to handle. 4) Honestly, I don't have good theories about the france choice. Although I do think that it might have been emotionally driven. Like people who suffer really horrific events usually don't want to be in places that remind them of it. So it makes sense Yukina would just want to gtfo of there. And France is at least semi familiar and has Cassandra. I think in terms of life change, I think shes just mostly matured more. So in essence is more fit to handle some of the emotional complications of what she needs to do. As for the memory powers, well, she is biologically Sachiko's daughter or so has been confirmed. And if Sachiko has weird powers that get her hunted, it stands to reason Yukina probably inherited something too. Something that might be muddling her normal Ascendant powers perhaps. But I definitely think she'll find a way to use it to help Sachiko and Koyomiko.

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

Koneko is a beloved character for sure. He is cute, he is cuddly (great for comfort!) He is...also apparently kinda good for saving lives!

And I had to look up what Occam's Razor was oop. But that's what Google is for! It IS a rather interesting take. We like to mix simple reasons within some complex ones to keep folks guessing. Is this one of the simple ones? We'll have to wait and see how it unfolds Though the "Elianne is litterally related to Sachiko" theory is one of the more popular ones even within the C14 server so you're not alone there!

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

One thing we can confirm, though, is that, yes...Yuki moved to France to get away from the bad reminders, the bad memories. Sadly it was just too much after the incident happened...The move wasn't an instant cure, either, but over time, it helped. She did meet a new girlfriend there!

snuffysam

One thing I'm curious about is when Allie first started appearing, how Sachiko reacted to her new powers, and so on. We haven't seen the shadow powers in any of the journal flashbacks in Part One, and we know Yukina's memory powers didn't start manifesting until recently, so maybe there's a connection there.

Alternatively, maybe Kregor REALLY goofed up that torture prison spell he used on Sachiko that one time and accidentally gave her some of Elianne's power.

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

Special 5 is a pretty fun read regarding that :3

http://www.raisondetrecomic.com/uastitle.html (for those that have read at least up to Ch 5, otherwise it's spoilers~)

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

The question hasn't been fully answered, but hints have happened for a bit, kinda leading to Part 2 (which will finally explain it...over time, heh)(edited)

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

A lot of the stuff since Chapter 5 has been with the help of Leigh. She's a really good writer that can put all these ideas together well while still keeping some things secret until "the time is right". I had a direction I wanted to go with this, but tended to get too wordy or expositiony at times. She helped reel that back a bit and organize it.

She's also good at working with what she's given even if it's not a lot, and boy, did I give her a hodge-podge of stuff from Part 1 lol But it's coming along nicely, I think~

She said she loves that @RebelVampire was surprised and enjoyed the sick!Kregor-Elianne interaction from Ch 6

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

If you guys don't mind, we would like to add our personal answers to Question #1~ For Leigh, it's a tie between two scenes in particular. One is Elianne's "I CAN'T LEAVE THIS PLACE!" scene in Chapter 6, especially the cats in the background as it's happening... and Nozomi's spectacular toss of Miko in Chapter 4 ("GET OUT")...especially when you consider how small Nozomi is (she's almost 5 feet tall exactly) As for me...it's kinda hard to pinpoint just one or two xD But I think I kinda like Special 3 in general. Especially for this page alone

RebelVampire

QUESTION 5. What has been your favorite illustration in the comic so far? What specifically about it do you like?

QUESTION 6. Do you believe that Yukina will be able to save Sachiko and Koyomiko? How might the lessons from the journals help Yukina in this endeavor? Do you think she still has more insight to gleam from them?

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

Journal lessons, huh? > :D (SFW, just a little silly; a recent question answered)

AV-chan

Here's some of my inputs but I'll have to answer what I can still remember. In regards to Yuki's powers, I sense that it's either an evolved form of Sachiko's powers or branch type since Yuki does need to touch someone to activate it. Who knows what surprises we'll see I think I mentioned a fav scene before but I'll input another recent one that I liked... It's the specials where Miko was training to get buff again and Nozomi taunts her until she goes all out

That answer is really funny and cute @Funari (Raison d’Etre)

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

Oh yes. GET IN SHAPE!! (We hope to get the final part out soon but it has a good pause point atm!)

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

We're really enjoying the Yuki's powers theories by the way!

snuffysam

6) You know, I'm not sure Yukina will be the one to save Sachiko and Koyomiko. The animal buddies seem to be doing a decent job already, and I'm not sure they'll recruit some kid to help them. Though she could use her powers to restore their memories once they're rescued?

RebelVampire

that just makes me picture yukina slamming the door dramatically saying "I'm here to save you." and then everyone and the cats are just having tea saying nah we good.

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

Lmao

That's a pretty hilarious image xD

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

Aaand...a picture happened.

RebelVampire

omg thats great XDXDXDXD

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

Thank you

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. Which characters do you enjoy seeing interact the most? What about their dynamic interests you?

QUESTION 8. Who exactly is Koyomiko’s pet cat and why did Elianne call him a renegade? Who is his white haired companion helping him? Why are they helping? How is Elianne a key to Shiva’s vengeance?

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

Leigh: CAT QUESTION! :D

RebelVampire

5) definitely this one from the climax before the time skip. http://raisondetrecomic.com/chfivep40.html I love the use of the silhouette cause it really contrasts well with the yellow. i also like the angle is from over kregor's shoulder so it kind of makes the sort of distance view that really forces you to be in awe of this immensely show of power. 6) I'm kind of in the same thinking as @snuffysam in that Yukina will help restore their memories while the cat folk do the heavy lifting. Cause they really have done the hard part of getting them away from Elianne, cause now Elianne's only retaliation is to send Kregor. and well...Kregor has the cant even do one job disease it seems since he only even got sachiko and koyomiko by complete accident. XD I do think the journals might help though. Maybe it'll be like the Butterfly Effect or Life is Strange where she accesses memories by reading them.

RebelVampire

7) Probably Nozomi and Koyomiko, even though its been a while since then. On the whole Nozomi interests me as a character cause she seems to have changed the most significantly from when she was a kid to when shes an adult. And its really interesting to see the effects that those around her have had on her and how those relationships have changed. 8) I feel like Koneko is like some guardian who broke with society to stand against Elianne specifically. Or that he was somehow related to the people who originally imprisoned Elianne. Which if it's that latter one, I assume the other companion not Shiva is part of the same group. Shiva maybe too in a way, but I feel Shiva is trying to strike at an old acquantaince of Elianne's, cause maybe Elianne's past deeds were bigger than just her. Like she fell in with the wrong crowd or something. But to summarize, I think theyre like some fringe group about protecting people from people like Elianne who are less touchable maybe. As for why helping, I think Koneko is actually just pretty selfish and wants to save Koyomiko no matter the cost.

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

Leigh: (re: question 8 with @RebelVampire ) that was the point with Nozomi actually! Glad to see the comment on her. She is definitely a complex character and will be shown more in upcoming parts

Nozomi has a lot of concept sketches plotted out and has been a big focus behind the scenes, heh~

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

And, while we can't spoil, we can confirm that the light-haired companion to Koneko is the Celestial version of what Koneko is (which has been mentioned as being some sort of Umbrian)

Very similar characteristics, yet they both have some tiny variations~

Which DOES make one wonder....if the butter-cat can shift into a human form, does that mean Koneko has one, too?

RebelVampire

yes O_O

there is not a doubt in my mind he can

well could

cause i believe its either he wont or he cant anymore

i am just waiting for the day its real and then you flood the world with all the human pics O_O

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

Hehehheheh

RebelVampire

actually tbf creators do a lot of what if pics so even if its not real there may be human pics someday

so you know what

my win regardless

XD

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

Leigh: It helps that you know he's going to be a handsome devil :p

RebelVampire

its true XD

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

Leigh: I mean, come on, look at him:

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. What sorts of art or story details have you noticed in the way the comic is crafted that you think deserves attention?

QUESTION 10. What did Elianne do in the past that got her trapped and considered unwelcome in Umbria? What do you think she intends to do if she gets free? What’s in it for Kregor?

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

Oooh, the art questions are the most curious

RebelVampire

9) One detail I think deserves attention story wise is Koyomiko's changing use accent. I find it vastly interesting that she has it as a kid/teen, doesn't have it as an adult, and then suddenly has it again post memory loss. It's a real curiosity and makes you wonder if the loss of accent is actually a conscious effort on her part everything. But also I just enjoy the consistency in that since doing consistent changes in accent in this manner can be an easy thing to forget. Art wise, I love the details in Rie's design that always seem reminiscent of a fox. Like the pointy tooth or pointy ears. Like even her hairstyle somehow invokes that feeling of fox, and I love that. 10) I feel like Elianne was just power hungry and delved into forbidden stuff. Like not world take over domination. But more just was like didn't draw any lines of ethics and wanted power for the sake of power? Mostly this theory stems from she doesnt strike me as a world domination type. Since so far her goal consists of "id just like out of this cave plz and thank you." I think the first thing she'll do when she gets free is go to starbucks so she can savor ordering her own coffee. And then ya know, plot revenge against those who imprisoned her or get her powers back if she gets free sans powers. As for Kregor, IDK man. Maybe he just likes money or maybe he deserves employee of the year award for being the most loyal employee ever.

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

The little details: Miko's speech patterns

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

Sachiko's head movements as an adult (phone doesn't have spoiler tags) is another thing we made sure to note

€heshire777

You can do spoiler tags on mobile, just put || on both sides of it.

like so

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

Well just in case it doesn't work (have had update issues before), I managed to be vague anyway lol

RebelVampire

truly a beacon of inspiration to minions everywhere XD

QUESTION 11. What do you think are this particular comic’s strengths? What do you think makes this comic unique? Please elaborate.

QUESTION 12. How might Koyomiko and Elianne’s powers being opposite be significant to the story? Do you believe this gives Yukina an advantage in some way since she’s also an Ascendant?

Menchi

Finally found my way here, but I'll start by answering the two newest questions: 11. Frankly the strength of the comic so far has been continuing a story that feels unique compared to anything I have read before, juggling the feel of a slice of life story while building up to a big adventure. Also I'd like to throw in how surprising it was for plot to progress, the signs there for the story to go further but the bait and switch about how the story would progress was certainly amusing. :)

as for 12: I had not given it that much thought before now, perhaps in a "Only I can defeat you kind of way", though from the story so far that might be too obvious. ^^ but i could see Yukina being very effective at least in nulifying and protecting others from Elianne's abilities.

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

@Menchi - Leigh is to the one to compliment with that. She has done an amazing job with the storytelling and coherency. Inks have gotten much better thanks to her too!

Menchi

heh, you been a good team together ^^

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

Thanks. Means a lot. I had these ideas for a long time but she helped put it all nice and coherent~

Also the theories about Yuki (all of them)give us life

Menchi

Then begin the Yuki is the true bad guy theories xD

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

Ohhhhnoooo

Menchi

Yuki goes pure evil, Rie has to bring her back from the bring, cue feel good story of the year xD

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

YuRi shipper ;p

Menchi

i admit it :p

Menchi

1. Now thats a tricksy one, but I would say my favorite storyline is at the start of chapter 3, when (without spoiling too much in case people drop in) the certain parts of the story start to cross together much more, and their involvement together became much more apparent. That it wasn't just a story that was looking into the past.

2. I am still holding to the belief that her father is some kind of Umbrian, or perhaps something else altogether... that or her father played with forces he cannot comprehend. :P For the other parts of this question I am unsure, but I am very curious to see where they go with these plot threads.

snuffysam

we do know at least one dad that lied about being an umbrian

could very well be two

i think the most unique aspect of the comic is its story structure. the first part is technically told entirely from yuki's perspective, but she's finding out about the past through others' recollections. and they're also potentially unreliable narrators, as seen through the chapter where koyomiko and nozomi argue with each other over the story of their meeting. it really gets into those themes of memory that I hope will be explored further in part 2

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

Oh, Kazuo....He was definitely in some huge trouble...

I mean, can you imagine how that first secret came out based on what Nozomi said in that Interlude?

snuffysam

was caught sniffing a dog in the park

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

Kazuo: Oh, I love you Nozomi Nozomi: I love you, too. Let's get married. Kazuo: Okay! (few months later) Nozomi: Oh, Kazuo, I'm pregnant! Kazuo: Oh....Um, I guess it's about time I told you that I'm actually a kitsune. Nozomi: WAT

snuffysam

AND HE DIDN'T EVEN MENTION THAT HE WAS ROYALTY OR THAT HIS FIRSTBORN WOULD BE TAKEN AWAY AFTER GRADUATING HIGH SCHOOL

he's in the doghouse for sure

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

Hoooooo boy

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

Also a minor correction: Rie is the second kid Understandable to think it was 'firstborn' since that's how the trope usually goes but Hiroki is safe xD

snuffysam

ah yes that's true

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

Nozomi had Rie knowing full well at that point that her kids were going to be halflings but then THAT happened and he kept it a secret when he really shouldn't have!

RebelVampire

QUESTION 13. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

QUESTION 14. What other changes do you believe the time skip has brought? In particular, what do you think has happened to Rie in regards to her decision about the NKP and her destiny to be her clan’s Inari?

RebelVampire

11) I think the comic's strength is its use of personal perspectives. Like whether its Yukina, Miko, Sachiko, or any other character, the comic does a really excellent job of switching to different perspectives at the right time to continue the story in emotionally compelling ways. It also makes the perspective changes worthwhile since each one youre always learning about each character on a more personal and intimate level that really helps connect you to them as the story ramps up. 12) I think it's gonna help when push comes to show since at the very least, yukina and koyomiko can probably defend themselves better against elianne compared to others. but other than that, im not seeing it have a big effect other than saving everyone's neck at the right time. 13) right now im just looking forward to seeing rie again and see what time skip rie looks like. and im just curious how everything worked out for her. also, human koneko. 14) I have an honest belief that Rie wants to stay in the NKP, but that shes struggling to get out of family obligations at the moment. And that she might have found a way, but it is tedious and drawn out. as for other changes in general, i feel like the NKP in general might have changed their policies a bit or something. at the very least, i hope they had a super big poster of Kregor that says "NKP's most wanted." which kregor brought to elianne to express his popularity.

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

Ascendants are an interesting bunch. We're slowly learning more about them in the recent pages. At least, via quick comparison-like comments between folks involving Cassandra and Yuki's dad vs. Yuki and Miko(edited)

As for Rie, well, she's been shown in her adult form in recent updates ;3

snuffysam

i feel like rie wants to stay in the nkp, but that goal may waver slightly after sitting through all of tomoko's lectures...

i think there might be a strained relation between the nkp and umbria going forward. because, like, kregor was caught and sent to the umbrian courts, right? and yet, he was able to get out and snatch miko & sachiko. so the policy of "let umbrians deal with umbrian criminals" has some holes in it.

at least from nkp's point of view

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

Hmm hhmmm

The lessons are important...but they sure are funny. Poor Rie xD

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

You know who is someone we want to show their reaction to what has happened since chapter 5? Rin. The founder of the Favreau-Tokyo Clanhouse, Sachiko's mom, Yuki's grandmother. She will appear soon once we're done with the hiatus but one wonders how she took it

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

Well, it's past midnight where I'm at and I figure the chat has quieted for the week, so with that, I'm gonna at least post this little thank-you doodle to those who stopped by this week before I forget. Thank you very much for the interesting questions and commentary!

snuffysam

thank you for being here and participating in the chat! it's always cool to see a creator at the tea party!

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

I try to whenever I can. I liked the week-long style better because I didn't have to make sure to take time off like I had to for the Thursday one xD This one I could jump in whenever I was available despite work in the way.

And Leigh was also here, at least in spirit. I just relayed her all the comments as they happened :3 She "answered" a few times, but for the most part, our reactions were too similar this time around to really do the separate comments

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Raison d’Etre this week! Please also give a special thank you to Cloud Fourteen (Funari & Leigh) for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Raison d’Etre, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: http://raisondetrecomic.com/

Cloud Fourteen (Funari & Leigh)’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Funakounasoul#_=_

Cloud Fourteen (Funari & Leigh)’s Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/A473RGN

Cloud Fourteen (Funari & Leigh)’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/c14comics

[warlordess]

I’m seriously concerned for Keith. He may have some serious issues, and he should get all the help he needs. Yeah, I’m still angry he left the team (HE’S BEEN THE MAIN CHARACTER FOR 30+ YEARS HOW COULD YOU DO THIS), but staying w/the BOM May have made those issues worse, given how he tried to commit suicide. He needs to get back to the team ASAP. Agreed?

Mmm, I wouldn’t necessarily disagree but this did bring up some stuff that I think the fandom is taking too seriously/blaming one party entirely for when that shouldn’t be the case.

We already know that Keith has issues, it’s been that way since the beginning and each season has slowly revealed to us more and more about them. Unfortunately, I’ve seen four different groups to blame that shouldn’t each exclusively be to blame because it’s all more complicated than that.

I’ve seen the faction of the fandom that wants to blame BoM due to them enforcing in Keith ideals of self-sacrifice for the sake of their cause.

I’ve seen the faction blaming clone!Shiro for talking to Keith about things/in ways that the real!Shiro wouldn’t ever, pushing him to make choices he might ordinarily give more pause and consideration to.

I’ve seen the faction that blames real!Shiro for putting so much pressure on Keith as far as becoming the new leader of Voltron in his place.

I’ve seen the faction that blames the rest of Team Voltron for never considering Keith’s good qualities during his short term as new leader, blames them for never giving Keith positive reinforcement and only critiquing him.

There are also the mixed factions that want to place blame on two out of four of these parties or three out of four or whatever. And I will be the first to confess that I’m not 100% perceptive to all the little fandom theories about clone!Shiro and BoM and Galra!Keith and etc, etc, this, that, and the other. I wanna get that out of the way first before I go into detail about the problem with these factions.

Let’s first be open-minded enough to understand that Keith had issues before Team Voltron, a lot of which is revealed in his vlog. These issues, like most childhood traumas, carry over into his adulthood since he decided to isolate himself throughout his adolescence. Hell, he ran away from the Garrison just like he ran away from Voltron. (That ‘lil dipshit.) He doesn’t take pressure well despite his many talents and doesn’t know how to socialize with people who depend on him. This is probably why he abandoned training/got kicked out from the Garrison and this is easily why he has issues connecting with the other paladins of Voltron. If there’s any part of the “lone wolf” origin that is accurate, these two overwhelming personality traits would be it.

… But for the people who want to place Keith’s suicide attempt/sacrifice solely on BoM, you’re wrong. You’re very, very wrong. There was someone instilling self-sacrificial notions in him long before BoM did and that was Shiro. I mean, Shiro was saying from at least as early as the first episode of season two that he placed faith in Keith to become the new leader of the team should certain circumstances occur. And this wasn’t necessarily wrong. I mean, these people are fighting an inter-galaxy-wide war. People are gonna die just like they’ve been dying for the cause for centuries. But, along with saying that, Shiro also instilled in Keith another subliminal message. The main role of Voltron’s leader is to make the tough calls, make the sacrifice first. Shiro never discusses the possibility of another team member dying and their role having to be filled. He knows that if anyone has to go, it’s gonna be him. And he accepts that because they’re at war, and he believes that Keith has the power to make that sacrifice and those tough calls when they’re needed too, which - to him - is the leader’s role.

But even beyond Shiro, Keith has been exposed to others who would make this ultimate sacrifice. I mean, it took Lance all of - what? - three episodes to get himself blown up trying to save a single comrade. Keith, loner that he is, ran into a sacrificial lamb of an Altean princess when he was trying to run away from the team because they both thought they were the cause for the Galra empire’s continued ability to locate them instantaneously. And do we really think that any of the paladins or Allura would survive for very long without the rest of the team to back them up when shit hits the fan and they’re alone in space? The whole point of running away was to preserve the rest of Team Voltron so that the mission could go on no matter the personal sacrifice. And Keith isn’t the only one to try and make this sacrifice. Interesting how he’s the only one the fandom is fighting so hard to protect/save though.

For those who blame clone!Shiro or real!Shiro, like I said above on multiple counts, I won’t pretend to know all of the theories or be perceptive to all of the clues in the canon that the fandom uses to place blame on either of these characters. In truth (and I’ve talked to @cultofpokeshipping about this, though he refuses to respond for whatever reason; lmao), I don’t even necessarily agree with what the fans are saying on how clone!Shiro is so obviously different than real!Shiro. I personally haven’t seen anything in his relationship with Keith that is much different from what it was before real!Shiro went missing. And as I said to the aforementioned person, there is such a thing as a clone with unknown parameters/protocol. Clone!Shiro - if that’s who we’re dealing with - could earnestly believe that he’s real!Shiro. I mean, he’s got the memories, he’s got the willpower, got the heart, got the skills, got the connection to the Black Lion. And yet, maybe, underneath his layers of encryption and coding, there is an unknown goal he’s trying to meet. I don’t blame him for that. He’s a creation, not inherently evil, and he may think he’s the real deal. This widespread hatred for a character that might not necessarily deserve it is sort of grating. Also, like I said above (and similarly to what Mike added to a post you reblogged), real!Shiro placing pressure on Keith more-so than the other paladins is necessary in this case. They’re the only thing in existence that can change the tide of this multi-millennia war so, if one of them goes (and remember, Shiro placed that burden on himself first), there needs to be knowledge and power and the fortitude to continue the mission.

As for those who want to blame the rest of the team, I go back to Keith’s vlog. He’s had issues since long before becoming a part of Team Voltron. He’s had issues long before being exposed to all these comrades. But the team doesn’t know about these issues. So if they’re not constantly playing softball with him when he makes a stupid decision, then hey, what more do they know to do? He’s supposed to be the leader but he runs off without them, distances himself from them, refuses to acknowledge that a team is meant to make group decisions based on the well-being and prolonged life of every member. And need I remind you yet again that these fucking kids are at war? They don’t have time to psycho-analyze a teammate that doesn’t want to be psycho-analyzed. They don’t have the perception to understand immediately that there might be some deeper issues.

On top of that, it wasn’t like the team constantly berated him from the very beginning either! Once Black chose Keith as the new leader, they tried to empathize (despite pressing matters of that war I keep mentioning), even enough for his so-called bitter rival to be chosen (and accept) the responsibility of convincing him to do what needed doing. When he tried to start a relationship with Hunk, Hunk did his best to reach back out too despite the awkwardness. They talked about some personal things, Keith cracked a joke, and Hunk acknowledged it and even reciprocated the feeling. And, when Lance approached Keith about his role on the team and his fears that he couldn’t be of any help, Keith reassured him and Lance was openly grateful for it. When Keith made stupid decision after stupid decision in the heat of battle, Lance did his best to bring him back from the brink of what looked like a meltdown. No time to play softball there, for sure, but Lance did what he could and it worked eventually. If Keith made any positive progress as the new team leader, it was because his team called him out on his antics when they got out of hand and only after they approached him cautiously and were met with resistance first. Otherwise, he overloaded on Shiro’s advice that the leader must make all the sacrifices first, even at the expense of their own life (not the message that Shiro intended but it’s easy to see how Keith would choose to go there). I’m surprised there’s a whole corner of the fandom that refuses to see that.

Real quick, a comment on your line about how Keith’s been the main character for 30+ years and etc. No offense, but I completely disagree with this. Not with him being the main character for so long but definitely with your obvious comparison to how this series is choosing to flesh out the other characters of the team (and of the entire series) and the path this interpretation of Keith is walking. This version of Keith is half-Galra, so he’s bonded with the BoM in a way that a non-Galran Keith wouldn’t. This version of Pidge is a girl masquerading as a boy in search of her missing brother and dad - a search that predated the current canon and has spanned multiple seasons. This version of Allura not only serves a role as replacement paladin when one of their own is KIA, she’s also the castle’s teleportation power source, a wealth of knowledge of different races/species/alien etiquette, she has innate magical skills lost to her people’s history that has turned many a battle around in their favor. This version of Shiro is the leader, is mature and adult, is the source for reason and teamwork and hard choices when the chips are down. This version of Lance, while egoistic similar to his past incarnation, suffers from severe confidence issues that he’s revisited time and time again, considers himself to be the weakest link of the team.

To say that Keith is the main character here when the series has done so much to flesh out all these other characters and give them equal roles is downright negligent of any fan.

This version of Voltron is different from its predecessors. To compare it to those before it without any consideration of the differences and positive impacts of those differences is not something I can agree with.

But yes, of course I’d like Keith to grow as a character and rejoin Team Voltron, we can at least agree to that.