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in spite of everything, I had fun <3
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itafushikugi#jjk 271#well we made it :'>#im kind of ignoring a lot of the tag rn ghsdff ik people are upset#if u follow me u know th full extent of my thoughts on the wrapping up of the series but tl;dr the caption says it all#this series meant a lot to me and im working on a bigger tribute to fully express that love and gratitude#but take a redraw 2 tide u over for now#im just so happy. its bittersweet but those r my kids n theyre tgt and theyre okay#i think the return to normalcy is good fr them. i say let them rest n b together n process everything in time#/i'm/ satisfied with what i got out of jjk as a whole and that's all that matters to me#however ik that not everyone shares tht sentiment n thats valid!#regardless of how u feel abt the finale i hope that u at least take time to remember things abt the series that brought u joy#thats all i can say#oh yeah anyway i lightened up megumi's expression his face is so funny in that panel i can't believe he really said -_- until the very end#still tho i think megu deserves a content lil smile
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HOMESICK, pt. 7
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PATREON
#if ur wondering where loft got his new tunic and earrings from the answer is tetra's crew lol#i need an excuse to give everyone fancy outfits okay#ALSO u may notice the text looks different#i made a font of my handwriting in the hopes its more readable#if u turbo hate it. let me know i suppose HAHA#main comic#bonus links#loz comic#loz au#tloz#wind waker
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it is totally okay to be hurt and tired and fed up with the american schooling system but i need you to understand that we need to be better about loudly and routinely defending public education.
yes, many teachers suck, many schools utterly suck. i also got bullied and was absolutely not given the right support for my needs. i am not defending public education because it was kind to me. i am defending it because it needs to exist.
right-wing republicans do not want an educated population. they want kids to be homeschooled or in private school. there is a huge religious undertone to this.
the most common argument is that despite high costs, the "result" is not "good" enough. they point to failing schools as proof that public education is just never going to work out. there will be arguments made here that you actually agree with: that teachers can be bullies, that we taught online for 2 years and still charged the same amount of tuition, that we have no recourse for students to actually have agency or a voice, and that schools are now unsafe for kids due to risk of illness and gun violence.
these are all placing the blame in a fraudulent way, one intended to get your parents to homeschool you. the less kids in a school, the less federally-awarded funding for that school, the less any school succeeds. they will not mention the fact it is their legislation that takes away important funding opportunities, that teachers are living at or below the poverty line, that buildings are not kept up to code, that administration is overpaid and forces specific curriculums, that corporations like (my personal enemy) Pearson Education control certain classroom goals because teachers can't afford other options. they pretend to be ignorant of the gun violence and say "oh just get a gun" - but these are the same people who will be sending their child to a private school with a bulletproof backpack. they don't care if your kid dies, though. they "don't believe" in covid, but they did get their kid vaccinated, because of course they did.
it is a closed loop. conservative parents hear the fearmongering and remove children from the system. frequently these parents are also deeply religious. the kids are raised without access to other media & learn to parrot their parents. you have now created a new generation of conservatives. additionally, one of the parents/caregivers must stay home and homeschool the children, usually for free. i will give you 1 guess which parent tends to stay home to homeschool the children. these parents are encouraged to have many, many children. those children are most likely not getting access to safe sex ed.
we might laugh at fox news suggesting teachers are forcing children to use kitty litter but: first of all, there is kitty litter in the classroom. it's part of an emergency kit in case children are locked in due to a shooter. so that's fucking dystopian, and the fact they've completely reimagined the scenario to somehow make the teachers look bad when it's instead a fucking huge symbol of our failure as a country to protect our children.... it feels a little intentional.
secondly: don't just dismiss the situation. because, yeah, obviously, no teacher is encouraging kids to be a catboy. but the actual undertone that fox news is trying to sew is an outright distrust of teachers and of public education. they rely on the dehumanization of trans people as a common touchstone to hide the fact they're pushing two agendas at once. (which is ironic. because the thing they accuse teachers of. is pushing. an agenda.)
whenever someone tells you they want you to read less, you should be suspicious of that. when someone tries to separate you and your education, you should be suspicious of that. i don't even like incel rhetoric nor would i want my kids exposed to it - but i would not take away my child's (age-appropriate) access to the internet. i would just provide more educational materials, not less. the difference here is that i believe we can resolve ignorance with knowledge; whereas conservatives believe that ignorance is bliss.
they misappropriate funding and demonize teachers. they pull the same trick each time - the same thing we are seeing with anti-trans rhetoric. they do not want you to have access to safe sex ed, so they act horrified, claim sex ed teaches you how to thrust deep, claim that we have no idea what "age-appropriate" means. since the mid-nineties, the united states has spent at least 2 billion dollars on abstinence-only education, even though to quote the above link: "a preponderance of studies has found no effect of abstinence education at reducing adolescent pregnancy". conservatives want you to think less of any person struggling with addiction so they can continue their racist "war on drugs", so they spend up to $750 million dollars a year on the DARE program which has absolutely no effect. acting like teachers "must" be "grooming" children is just the same thing - so they can demand that funding either goes to their causes or the funding doesn't "exist" ("i'm not paying for our kids to learn that thing!")
and they want you to feel uncaring about this. they are aware that you will hate some parts of your school experience. pretty much everyone does. they want to lean into the parts that you hate so that you don't put up a fight about it when they take it away for not being "good enough."
i know i maybe sound like a conspiracy theorist. but truly. truly. it is beneficial for conservatives to reduce your faith in the american public schooling system.
one of the explicitly stated campaign promises of the conservative party: to axe the Department of Education in 2024.
i know we are all tired and burnt out and there is so much else wrong with their entire platform. but maybe just - pay attention to this one.
#i can't believe i have to say this#the conservative party is legit like ''is it anything good? okay we hate it.''#''lets kill lgbt people and ummmmm school children shouldnt be able to read they should be at home watching jordan peterson :)"#the fact that it's like all related is. wild.#like it's wild bc if u start being like. actually making it impossible to afford housing is part of how they keep the nuclear family.....#it's just like lines connecting to lines. EXCEPT ITS OBVIOUS?#what's wild to me about most conspiracy theorists is that they're like . ohhhh the govt is hiding shit!!!!!!! they don't want u to know!!!#and im like. this old man literally got up on stage and said he hates public education and will let our kids die before taking away ak-47s#and ppl are like: lol thats just bob's sense of humor he didn't mean it literally uwu
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š¬āļø
#SILVER GET UP UR GONNA DIE DOING WHAT U LOVE!!! EATING MUSHROOM RISOTTO!!!! hes DROWNING#twisted wonderland#jade making no effort to stop this just like ! wow! let me observe golly gee! i think they r soso silly jade i love u#the person in the foreground is a mystery. it is whoever u want it to be. anyone but diasom methinks bc otherwise he'd be up top#the separate section stuff. rest assured a bitch never forgets a detail. i KNOW i already thought of it#also the floor reflections were fun. okay thats it#twst#twst silver#jade leech#ruggie bucchi#epel felmier#deuce spade#cater diamond#suntails
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~ a little something about Beast Dazai and his inability to let you go ~
Your hand trembles as you're about to knock on the massive office doors and you wonder if you're about to make the biggest mistake of your life.
You got too close working for this terribly lonely man, and now you're knocking at his door with the only solution you can think of to put an end to your silly infatuations that have gone on for longer than you'd want to admit and can possibly handle. You open the door slowly, and walk into the elegant and massive office space, your eyes falling right onto the dark haired man in all black hunched over the desk, scribbling away as if he didn't hear you come in. You walk quietly, and when you reach the wooden desk, your voice comes out soft and firm.
"Dazai, sir? I wanted to speak to you about something sensitive, if I may."
You chew on the corner of your bottom lip, but quickly compose yourself when you see the face of the man you've spent so much time with, the unfortunate love of your life. if it weren't for his Maroon scarf, he'd look like nothing but a black void. A burnt Black cat. He looks up, narrowed eyes scan you as he takes a sip of his tea, replying in a monotonous tone.
"What is it?"
"After much consideration, I think.. I need to leave the Port Mafia. We've worked together for quite a while now, and I can assure you it's not about the quality or enjoyment of my work. You don't even have to acknowledge this beyond me simply saying it, I just have to confess something that makes my heart ache. You make my heart ache. I know how unprofessional that sounds and that you have no use for such affections, but I can't keep pretending. It's why I think it's time for me to move onto something else otherwise my work will become disrupt-"
A lifted finger is shoved into your face, signaling you to stop, and so you do. Of course you do. You always had a habit of word vomiting when you were anxious. Dazai is staring down at his tea, and he stays quiet for a long time, trying to pick what emotion he can mask his real outraged ones with. Finally, he flashes you an unbothered look, his eyes half lidded as they taunt you. A cruel smirk curls onto his lips.
"Oh? What an awful time for your honesty! I'm currently drowning in work and responsibilities, ones that you're supposed to aid me with, actually. Thus, I have no use for your confession." He simply says.
You can feel a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. You expected this. Looking down at your shoes, you chew on your lip again.
"I had to tell you.. Like I said, you can just forget about it."
"Well you see, that's the problem. I can't forget it. The moment you uttered those nasty little words to me, I realized I have to carry the weight of finding a new secretary. And I resent that."
He looks away for a brief second, his words are bitter and laced with what sounds like remorse and irritation.
You cross your arms and sigh, your voice comes out lower than your confidence.
"I just thought that we were... I suppose I should have never dared to assume you'd ever see me as more than a-"
He instantly leans over his desk, now placing a finger on your lip, his voice just above a whisper.
"... And though these feelings you have for me may be inconvenient, it doesn't mean that they're unwelcome."
He lets his finger rest on your lips for just a second too long, meanwhile you're frozen in place feeling like your chest is going to collapse in on itself. His voice becomes softer.
"Sit, please."
You sit down, now facing each other. It's quiet for a few moments as you both study each other's expressions. This form of intimacy was unusual to everyone else but the two of you, having spent countless hours in the past working across one another without uttering a single word, yet communicating in perfect sync. You were a part of each other's routines, a never ending spiral. Dazai feels himself teetering on the edge of something dangerous, something peeling away at his very soul. He's usually so arrogant and domineering, but in this instant, he suddenly feels an exhaustion wash over him trying to keep that going. He's kept it going for so long, he forgot that he doesn't like doing it with you. You don't deserve to be a part of all of this, and he doesn't deserve to want you.
Oh how he loathes his true identity: A simple man. A human man. Your man.
When he can't take it anymore, he slowly creeps his bandaged hand on top of yours, applying light pressure, but his eyes don't dare look into yours. Not yet. Finally, you break the silence, staring down with furrowed brows at the way your hands fit around one another. You mutter under your breath, tired of being vague.
"What are we to each other, Dazai? I mean really?"
"Do I really need to spell it out for you?" He snorts, trying to cling to the last of his cruelty but failing as he lets his emotions sway his judgement.
You sigh, flipping your hand over so that your fingers can fully intertwine.
"I just don't know how I could ever take up any space in your mind. I didn't think you noticed whether I stayed or left."
He looks up, flashing you a mildly offended look, his sharp eyes narrowing. He scoffs quietly, dropping your hand and standing up from his desk. He walks over to you, his full height now looming. He bends down and scolds you.
"What an obscene thing to say. You're invaluable. You have always been occupying my mind, every minute, every second, every microsecond. I always notice. I'd notice even if I was on my deathbed."
Your breath catches in your throat, and you finally manage to swallow the lump that's building up as you stare up at your reckoning.
"I just- I'd never try to leash you, sir."
His eyes soften, and he tilts his head slightly. You drive him mad with the way you don't realize what a dog he is for you. His voice comes out strained.
"You wouldn't need to. And don't call me that. You know my name, and as your superior l'm ordering you to address me properly."
Your cheeks flush, and you part your lips, letting out the breath you can't stop holding. A faint smile appears on your face, and you stand up slowly to meet him.
"You're like the moon, you know? You control everything like the tides. You control me, Osamu."
He shakes his head, and sighs deeply. If only you could see how wrong you were. He steps closer, moving his hand up your arm gently as he trails his way to your collarbone with ghost-like strokes.
"Did you know that sometimes when I'm laying in bed, all alone after a long day of controlling things, my only thoughts are about you?"
He confesses, sincerely. Dazai brings his face inches from yours, his voice now becoming a pleading whisper. His hand travels down to your waist, gripping it gently.
"Do you find it hard to believe that you bring me to my knees, the big scary Port Mafia boss? Because if so, you're a great fool! I love spending my time with you. I quite literally need you by my side in my times of need and at any random and mundane moment that passes. It brings me unimaginable joy when you nag me to get more sleep, especially when I don't listen because I can't wait to hear you say it over and over again. I don't like it when you have plans, or when you report to anyone else but me. I want you to stay with me tonight and every single night after and I don't care how awful this sounds. I don't care about you having a life outside of me."
Your throat feels tight, eyes wide at the fervor of his words alone. You reply with a shaky breath.
"Every single night after?"
"Every. Single. Night. After..."
"As if we were together?"
"We are together." He declares as if it were obvious this entire time.
Hearing Dazai be so blunt makes your mind fog over quickly, a whiplash of feelings that you never thought would ever see the light of day suddenly surface. He feels the same, realizing how much he's given away to you in such a short amount of time, but for him it's been rotting inside for years. He's been held together by the glue of your support too long not to kneel for you now. It's over for him, he's run out of masks to wear. He slowly guides your body backwards towards the opulent leather couch at the center of the room. You stop when you feel yourself backing up into the cool pebbled hide, and he slowly lowers you down onto your back with his arms supporting you. He delicately hovers over you, looking deeply into your eyes as he takes in the way your bodies feel against each other. For a moment he worries he might actually be trembling.
His breath hitches when you place a hand on the bandaged side of his face that covers his left eye. You stroke the fabric lightly, eyes twinkling with unfiltered adoration. He thinks about the only other person who's ever looked at him with such reverence, and how painful it is not to be able to tell his best friend he's in love. He leans into your touch, humming softly and closing his eyes as he molds his lips deeply into yours. It's not a kiss of sexual desire. This is a kiss born of romance and intimacy, a mutual oath of surrender. cold bandaged hands instinctively wander your body, starting at the waist down to your hips, and slowly exploring the plush of your thighs, kneading them. He runs them higher, lightly tracing your ribs with his index finger while the other hand cups your face. Dazai's mouth moves gently, and slowly pulls away from yours with a soft whine. His fingers trace your jawline as he stares at you. You taste like milk and honey. Like the moon and rain. He smiles at you, eyes sparkling like the night sky. You feel his heartbeat against your body. Every single pore of your skin is connected.
"Pleaseā don't leave the Port Mafia, and don't leave me alone... Not tonight. Not ever. I'd become a tyrant without you."
"Is that also an order?" You murmur in between shallow breaths, dreamy eyes trained on him.
His eyes flicker over to your lips for a moment, then return to your eyes. His voice drops to something that resembles a soft whimper.
"Noo. No, it's not. I could never demand anything from you. But if you'll allow me to act selfishly, I just want to make you happy, to see you smile. I want you to keep greeting me with that tea you make every morning before our meetings. I also never want to hear you call me 'Sir' again. I am not your boss or your friend... I'm so much more than that. We've always been together. We will always be togetherā Is this too much?"
You shake your head, smiling uncontrollably at the way Dazai rambles in this moment, it's a side of him you've never seen in all the years you've known him. A stark contrast from the detached and cruel presence that frightens others on an almost daily basis. This seems like a person pretending to be the boss of the Port Mafia, an almost perfect imitation. You're not sure what barriers within him had to break for him to become the mushy and needy mess you see before you and what it all means in the long run, but you dismiss it for now. You get the feeling this might be the real Osamu Dazai. And that excites you.
"Never too much. I'm here and I'm staying. I would always stay."
He chuckles, it's a broken shaky laugh bordering on a sob. He buries himself in your neck, smiling against your soft skin, nibbling on it. He lightly runs his tongue against the mark he leaves, and slowly lifts his gaze to meet yours
"... I know you would. You always do."
You tilt your head, and hum in mild confusion at his odd little comment.
"Do you know something I don't?"
He flashes you a knowing smile and speaks prophetically as he lightly traces a finger over a large vein on your neck, following it down to your soft chest. He murmurs lazily while bringing his lips down to where he won't be able to get them off for the rest of the night.
"I know everything, silly.~"
The Port Mafia can wait, he's going home first.
#i know this is over 2k words i HAVE A STORY TO TELLLL IM SORRRYYYY#i need to go into visceral detail abt needy desperate beastzai OKAY. HES DISGUSTING FOR U#THAT REQUIRES MUCH PATIENCE ANF WORDING#beastzai is a mix of all my fav dazais obsessive rlly sad and rlly fucking into you#i'm actually am so sorry i hope u guys like this#when that anon gassed me up so much abt beastzai i said let me make u regret that#i love u anon........... i need a nap and a beastzai body pillow#also i canonically confirm u did in fact freak it all night after the end#hinting at beastzai and reader being in love in every universe didndjejd ....God#lets let beastzai have fun and kiss a little bit okay#in a way this could be a spiritual successor to my first beast dazai drabble................#bungou stray dogs#dazai x you#osamu dazai x reader#bsd x reader#bsd dazai#dazai imagines#dazai x reader#bungo stray dogs#osamu dazai#dazai osamu#beast dazai#beastzai#bsd beast#beast dazai x reader#gn reader#fanfic#beast!dazai#bungo stray dogs beast
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masters of the air Ā· part one
#masters of the air#mota#motaedit#hbowaredit#hbo war#edits#gale cleven#john egan#austin butler#callum turner#hbowardaily#tvedit#okay guys now u have to bear w me#until i figure out how to colour hbo war shows#all over again#sorry apple war shows#no im just kidding#but imagine#anyways hey im back let me know if u wanna be tagged!!
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EDYN TIDESTRIDER, CHALLENGER OF THE UNDERSEA, RIVAL OF THE DEEP. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR BROTHER WAS CHOSEN TO BE A WEAPON OF THE GODS? HOW WILL YOU UNDO WHAT THEY HAVE DONE TO HIM?
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#edyn tidestrider#cw blood#EDYYYNNNN TTIDESTRIDERRR OHH HOW I LOVE HERRRR#THIS IS A PAGE FULLA REEAALLY OLD DOODLES AND REALLY REALLY OLD DOODELS AND NEW DOODLES. ENJOY.#ONLY CLEANED IT UP A BUNCH TTODAY AND IM ACTUALLY SO SO HAPPY W IT WEEEEE#WHAT WAS IT LIKE? DOWN IN THE UNDERSEA. TO VISIT YOUR BROTHER WHENEVER THE ADULTS WOULD LET YOU#A KID WHO DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT WAS GOING ON OR WHY HER BROTHER WAS BEING TAKEN AWAY OR WHY HE KEEPS GETTING HURT#OR WHY THE ADULTS JUST KEEP LETTING IT HAPPEN. ITS FOR THE BEST? FATE OF THE WORLD AND ALL THAT? HEY WHO THE FUCK IS IN CHARGE HERE#HOW DO WE STOP IT. HOW DO I STOP IT. THERES PEOPLE OUT THERE WORKING ON SOMETHING. ARITIFICIAL LEVIATHAN YOU SAY?#WE COULD BUILD A THING TO RIVAL THE GODS. WELL. SIGN ME UP. IM GOING TO UNDO WHAT THEY DID TO YOU#WHAT A FASCINATING THING SHE ACTUALLY SAID. 'IM GOING TO UNDO WHAT THEY DID TO YOU' HELLO?? EDYN? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN#WHAT EXACTLY DID THEY DO TO HIM. OTHER THAN THE PROPHECY TRAINING. YOU CAN UNDO THAT? YOU CAN UNDO ALL THAT? HOW?? HELLO???#LIKE SURE I JUST SPOUTED MY THEORIES I THINK SHE WANTS TO KILL GOD BUT THATS JUSTA THEORY... A GA#WHAT IS EDYNS GOAL AND WHY CANT SHE TELL ANYONE OOUUUHHH EDYNNNN CMERE EDYNN CMERRE STOP WALKING AWAY CMERE. COME HERE.#fuuuuuck shes so mysteriousss what is she HIDING!!shes also so so so so angry i fucken know she is. shes so gentle and so sweet and timid#but she is ANGRY and shes SMART and clearly shes AMBITIOUS bc shes TALKING TO THE FUCKING BIG HEAD HONCHO O THE FUCKEN NNAAAVYYYYY#ALSO WHO IS NICHOLAS. IF THATS EVEN HIS REAL NAME. WHO DID YYYOU MEET EDYN. DO YOU HAVE A WISH TO BE GRANTED EDYN???#CHEWING ON THE BARS O MY CELL I NNNNEEEEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT EDYN IM SO CURIOUS IMG ONNA KILL PEOPLE#i said once in another post 'the oath an eldest sister takes on is on par w that of a paladins-#-and sometimes upheld w the very same ferocity'. I REALLY LIKED THAT LINE.#pleeese... if u can hear me.. pls join me and draw edyn w unbridled plasmatic rage abt the way her brother was treated by the Elders#also pls draw her SCARY. I NEED HER TO BE SSCARY. PLEEASEE I NEED HER TO BE JUST AS VIOLENT AS GILLION BUT INA ICE COLD WAY#JUST AS VIOLENT JUST AS STRONG JUST AS MUCH OF AN AQUATIC MONSTER. im sure u see the vision.#ok i gotta go t bed now i got work in tha morning n i should nnot be stayin up this late. if u hav thoughts abt edyn pls scream abt em#okay byyyyeee goodniiigihhttttt
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#listen i know this is off blog topic but let me have this okay i NEED IT!!!!#PLEASE TAKE PART IN MY SHARK POLL I NEED SHARK DATA ITS VITAL FOR MY AUTISM AND ALSO REBLOG IF U CAN#sharks#polls#marine biology
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[ JUJUTSU KAISEN VOL 29 COVER : TRUE FORM SUKUNA ]
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#manga#cover#volume#volume 29#sukuna#ryomen sukuna#ryomen#true form#please let me know if these are spoilers ok? ok.#CHAT CAN I KMS NOW IM SOOOOOOOOOO ///DEAD/// BY THE EPITOME AND THE AUDACITY OF THIS MAN#the AUDACITY to look like a FRIGGIN 5-š MEALL?!!?!???#he is SO cheeky fr im so enamoured by HIM#oh HIM!!!#SCREW the people saying he is ugly and only Yuuji carried his looks B**CH! Sukuna is LITERALLY the one Yuuji gets his looks from so STFU#okay thats it#im going to purchase all sukuna-cover Volumes idgaf atp#I already have the Yuujikuna nendoroid but i guess im gonna have to wait for Megkuna and OG Sukuna nendoroids to release too#they are SO on my bucket list#MAPPA NOW THE REST IS UPTO U AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#I'd be art-ing SO hard rn if it wasnt for these fka** mids im sorry if im swearing alot im just so done with alotta things irl rn#i need a break#but dw my delulu will keep me going have faith
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Previous // Next
Byrd: Are you mad? Oscar: No, but your brother shouldāve called sooner. Ivan: There, all gone-.. letās get you nā Robin home. Wren: Sorry, Frankie. Frankie: Donāt you worry about it, sweetheart. [nasty hospital vibes] Byrd: Are you sure youāre not mad? Oscar: Mhm. Byrd: Youāre biting your nails though. Oscar: Hospitals arenāt exactly my favourite. Byrd: So, youāre mad? Oscar: No, Byrd. Byrd: Wren isnāt allowed to sign it, okay? āCause you know sheāll write something rude like P E N I-ā¦ Oscar: [laughs] I hear ya.
#ts4#sims 4#simblr#ts4 story#sims story#forever in between#fib#oscar finch#robin finch#wren finch#byrd finch#francesca holden#ivan harper#the fallout of the chaos#these are just kinda extra to the last scene tbh cos sometimes i get carried away and make em longer than necessary#oskie only have one car so ivan came to get wren and robin whilst oscar took byrd to his favourite place EVER#cos y'all know they were in A&E for HOURS#and no one let wren near the cast okay?#sdjskdj#overwriting is a disease and there is NO cure#sometimes i play out the remainder of scenes just for me and for fun u kno.. cos this is my dollhouse after all š#but i took screenies neway so here u go#š¤øāāļø
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"...and i wanted you to know that you come first." CARLA CONNOR and LISA SWAIN in CORONATION STREET ā 31.12.2024
#shut UP r u kidding me !!!#lisa swain closet romantic who would've known#its me i known#i just adore them#this set dedicated to tumblr user literary-lesbian for letting me scream thoughts about lisa's parents at them#okay wait carla laughing it off and changing the topic immediately#because she doesnāt know what to do with this affection sheās being smothered in#swarla#lisa swain#carla connor#carla x lisa#aliso king#vicky myers#corrie#coronation street#luthqrs#luthqrsgifs#luthqrscorrie#cs 31122024
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binding vow
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#megumi#fanart#jjk fanart#done....collapses#up until 3am last night n sitting fr another 8 hours today to finish....#g o d#the things i do fr him.....#let it no longer b said that i only do elaborate paintings rife with symbolism tht feature gojo. megu my one true muse#as is Correct and Just#real talk tho i was just sketching th things i wanted to include without giving much thought to the Themes#w the exception being the spider lilies lmao I Know What Those Mean#but i ended up with a REALLY good life/death/marriage/loyalty thing going on????#w the lotus/spider lily being purity+rebirth/death#((not 2 mention 'far from the one he loves' like HELLO?????))#also w the temari balls being associated w femininity but having him dressed in groom's attire#like???? 90% unplanned but i ended up both cooking And eating#also happy 2 report that betta fish were kinder 2 me than the koi were :) no trouble from these lil guys#in fact everything abt this piece kind of came easily beyond the initial colour swatch??#thank u fr being an easy subject megu ilysm im sorry abt all the death imagery i dont mean it pls focus instead on th Life imagery :((((#i put a ring on it so u gotta wake up.....cant leave yuuji @ th altar ....#SPEAKING OF THE RING IK ITS ON THE RIGHT HAND we've been over this and its Okay#if i read a single comment .........#sorry 2 that one person who was like 'the next binding vow better be at itfs' wedding' ik this probably wasnt what u meant#but it did inspire me smile :)#anyway i need 2 stop looking at this its been over 24 hours
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high masking autistic steve harrington follow on from this post
ao3
wc: 2.6k | rated: T | cw: description of a meltdown with semi aggressive stimms | tags: autistic steve harrington (and eddie and robin but this is about stevie), hurt/comfort, stobin soulmates, steddie, steve Harrington has shitty parents
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he failed. he graduated. but he failed. those unsaid words between him and his parents. some get said. the bad ones, about him, they get said. over again like heās 5 and being told is behaviour isnāt acceptable. that how he is isnāt right. āshape up or ship outā, basically. steve knows he canāt go anywhere new, not right now. only freshly recovered, physically at least. mentally; heās still unacceptable.Ā
when steve works at scoops. itās so fucking bright in there. so fucking bright, all day and he canāt focus and talking to people gets so much harder. itās not like school where he can zone out in class and turn it on during lunch, in between, keep up his face with the people around him and sink back into his head during chemistry. no. now itās all the time, customer after customer. that he has to talk to, put on a smile for, read so he gives them what they want and they leave happy. itās exhausting. girls donāt like him anymore, they donāt react to him the same way. he doesnāt think he likes them much either though because theyāre so much more annoying when itās so fucking bright.Ā
but robin (robin who cycles to work with sunglasses on and doesnāt take them off till she has too) she turns the lights down during open and close. so those couple hours, itās not so bad. not so stressful. a little bit less loud.Ā
after the mall burns down steve starts letting her in. tries too. she makes it obvious enough to him that she wants him there. she asks him to stay and calls him at night and he just wants to be enough for her. eventually heād swallowed his pride and bolstered his courage and called her after a string of nightmares. asking her to stay the night. but then she was there, and it was like everything was thrown off. she was grating on his already freyed nerves but he didnāt know what to say. how to fix it without upsetting her.Ā
but that night, a mirror of the mall bathroom played out in steves en-suite. steve had freaked. hidden. but she didnāt leave. and he tried to explain.Ā
he needs her but he doesnāt know how to have her as a true friend. āi dunno how to talk to a girl if i donāt wanna date them. i uh, maybe, donāt really know how to talk to someone as myself. as a friend. sorry.āĀ
āwell i donāt know how to talk to jocks so. same boat.ā and she has this glint in her eye. like she knows. and itās okay.Ā
because robin, she made it simple. she makes it easy. she says just ask and sheāll be honest and give him a yes or no. sheāll say if she canāt be touched right now, or if the movie he chose is pissing her the fuck off. and she wants the same from him. if the music is too loud, if she needs to let him not speak for a while. wants him honest and present and real. real friends. someone close. finally.Ā
itās rocky at first. sheās honest and heās not used to it. it feel like criticism more often than not. makes him see red and lash out, like he was never able to with his parents. but he apologises and she stays. and heās learning; thatās itās okay, heās not perfect and that means sheās knowing the real him. and sheās still his best friend even if he has to tell her to stop picking her nail polish off around him because it makes him want to die. and she laughs at him the first time she sees him in real recovery mode; hair not styled and he has on the only sweatshirt that ever feels good when heās like this.Ā
they lay on the floor in darkness and silence. itās perfect. they share a tin of soup and a grilled cheese. itās perfect.Ā
being around robin as much as he is, its so new, having someone see so many parts of you. sometimes she laughs at him asking steve āwhyād your voice change?ā but steve didnāt even know it had. he was, he was just talking to someone else quick, being nice like youāre supposed to, attentive to make them feel good. he didnāt know his voice changed that much.Ā
āgirls would like you more if you talked normal to them. how you do to me.āĀ
steve swallowed thickly. he just. he just doesnāt know that thats true. nancy left, he talked to her about lots of things, too many things. she like him better at the start. before some of his black tar innards spilled out. before he freaked. before he was able to paste himself back together and she saw him for what he really is.Ā
he thinks of his parents. how they donāt know him and still donāt like him. anxiety prickles at his fingertips at the thought of those times they do come home.Ā
because with them there the routine heās carved for himself, those quiet moments of darkness that he so craves. theyāre gone. now itās tv static and plates clanging and having to show his face at dinner again. but heās not ten anymore. now heās an adult whose still drowning in the tension of the room, never able to say whatās really going on, never allowed to ask how they really feel, never taught how to figure his feeling out. no listening ear for steve as a child, and the ice only grew thicker with time.Ā
itās his skin itching at his mother stirring her tea across the house, spoon agains porcelain. itās the hair on the back of his neck standing up at the sound of ice clinking in his fathers scotch glass. itās triggered memories playing over and over again. itās being plagued, by ghosts who haunt him, who left but come back every so often, like poltergeists. polietgists with the deed to the house, and ownership over steve, through blood and fear alone.Ā
āwhen they get back you come to mine steve yeah? you come home.ā
because now theres not just robin. thereās eddie.Ā
he sees everything. and more. even when steveās trying to hide. eddie sees.Ā
he noticed steve squinting at the hospital and asked the nurse to turn the lights down. he saw how he started zoning out at a diner with the kids, their arguing reaching a pitch, asked steve to keep him company for a smoke break. once they were outside eddie said he just needed a moment, āthose kids can be animalsā. said it and looked a him like he didnāt need an answer, let steve just breathe a focus on the sound of the wind.Ā
itās like thereās a million tiny moments, a million tiny cracks in him forming the more heās around eddie. like his soft underbelly is mewling any time heās around, wanting attention, wanting to let eddie see. let eddie touch.Ā
eddie used to look at him sometimes, across the lunch hall. stare at him with an expression steve couldnāt really make sense of. he used to think it was judgment, annoyance. now he wonders if that face was confusion or interest. maybe eddieās always been trying to figure steve out.Ā
once it starts. them. eddieās everywhere. more somehow, maybe, than robin because, you know, they go there. but itās different, from those time, with those girls. instead now heās there and his brains off and on in a, like, magical way. a new way that makes him feel whole and, and beautiful.Ā
this thing they have. itās fragile. itās not perfect. he messes up, takes him a moment to grasp how eddie can be so so himself, always, no matter what. especially when it causes him problems. āwhy not just try and fit in?ā but the stone faced reply told steve that was the wrong thing to say, he didnāt get it but he needed to respect it. respect eddie and his choices. āiām not like you steve, even if my brain shit was all gone iād still be poor, iād still be othered. still be a gay weirdo little freak.āĀ
and steve is trying to get it. heās learning to recognise that itās sadness and confusion in eddieās eyes when he visits him at work, knowing steve is having a bad day and watching him pretend. watching that mask form thick and fast, hiding the real him, protecting but also keeping everyone far far away. steve thinks maybe theyāre living parallels. finding different ways to survive. neither better, neither worse. both far from perfect.Ā
then that pinched sadness in eddieās eyes. watching steve pretend. cover up. that damn breaks eventually. eddie sees all of him and more. those bits he always kept locked inside. between he and himself. it all comes spilling out.Ā
they were supposed to be going out soon. but eddie wasnāt feeling it anymore āletās just stay here, be cozy a little longer. what do you say, sweetheart?ā it does sound nice. steves so tired. but they decided. they had a plan.Ā
āwe said we would. and i have to buy that thing eddie. we had a plan. and i have to go to work later, so we have to do it before. like we said and then i have to work eddie.ā and before he knows it thereās tears prickling his eyes and the ceiling fan is so loud and the desk lamp is too bright and he smacks a fist to the top of his head and it hurts a little but heās so frustrated and so overwhelmed and so confused and embarrassed, suddenly. and he canāt breath. why canāt he breath? they had a plan.Ā
they were supposed to go see hopper and pick something up and he has to talk to him and ask about the game because he needs hopper to like him because itās better when el can come when all the kids hangout. itās important that sheās happy so hopper needs to trust steve so steve was going to talk to him today and pick something up. it was the plan. hopper makes him nervous but that was the plan. and then he had to go to work. but now he canāt breathe and he feels like he needs something to hurt.Ā
ābut he already trusts you with el stevie. hop trusts you with anything.āĀ
āi canāt know that. not for sure. when i talk to him it needs to be perfect.ā steve paces. a pinch at his arm. a tug at his hair. pivot. pace. repeat.Ā
āi heard what he said to you steve, on your birthday, he was calling you son all day. you donāt need to prove anything to him.āĀ
āi do eddie! you donāt understand. people, they lie. adults lie. they donāt say things the way they mean. i canāt fuck up talking to him. not like i always fuck up talking to my parents. i need to do it better. do it differently. because everyone always leaves. and i just donāt want to be alone again.ā and the tears really start to fall and steve can barely breath and heās so embarrassed. shaking hands try and cover his face but the tears slip through.Ā
and all he can think about is the plan. going to work. his vest hanging by the door. the way the plastic tapes feel in his hands. the smell of the bleach they mop the back room with. the day stretches before him. so many things in the way. so much anxiety still to come. if he canāt start, it canāt end. he gnaws at his lip. thumps a hand to his chest, trying to breath right, trying to ground.Ā
āi have to go to workā he mutters. like a prayer. speak it in to happening. taking him away from the now. thump thump thump at his chest. ear ringing.Ā
eddieās holding his arms out, giving steve the option. he speaks so calmly, so earnest. āyou canāt go to work steve. not like this baby.ā
steve rounds on him. angry. when did everything get so messed up? if he was just left alone. he shouldāve stayed on his own. āi cant just call in sick eddie! iām not sick and and i hate the way theyāll sound when i say it over the phone and knowing what theyāll be thinking about me. theyāll know i hate the job and think iām lazy and realise how stupid and useless i am and fire me. i canāt afford to get fired eddie. iād rather just go in.ā he know it comes out garbled, his cheeks on fire.Ā
āiām not letting you go in steve. iāll sort it. iāll go pick up robin before and sheāll cover for you, sheāll explain. and she would never. ever think that of you.ā eddieās voice dropped octave. he speaks clearly and plainly and finally thereās a new plan to follow. a new rule for the day.Ā
and all steve can do is curl up in a ball and sob. curl up in a ball against eddie chest, in his arms, squeezing his t-shirt between his fingers. clenching his muscles tight, his teeth grinding together. grunting out some of the decade old scream, still stuck there but more visible to him now.Ā
until finally finally, he relaxes. spent and exhausted. too afraid to open his eyes and face the lamplight, face what could be in eddieās expression. he drifts..
eventually he gets up, blows his nose and splashed water on his face, turns off all the lights and get back under the warm blanket. fills his lungs. sighs. whispers, āmāsorryāĀ
ādonāt say that. thereās nothing to apologise forā eddieās so close, so warm.Ā
āno oneās supposed to ever, see that.. itās okay if you want to leaveāĀ
āsteve. why the fuck would i leave you right now?āĀ
āwhoād wanna date someone who acts like that? itās. itās not good eddie. but, but itās okay. iām used to being alo-.āĀ
āplease stop stevie. your breaking my heart here. i want to stay, i want to be here with you. i really really like you steve.ā and steveās cheeks feel wet again. he feels flayed open and young, like a little kid who fell off the swings and everything is different suddenly.Ā
later later when eddie picks robin up from work she stalks in to where steveās wrapped up on the couch. curls up into his side and exhales. she bites into his bicep. huffing a sad, annoyed little ādingusā before grabbing his hand and fiddling with his fingers.Ā
steve feels his eyes prickle again. looking up at the ceiling he croaks out a small āsorry.ā for the day. for everything. for anything he can be. and everything he canāt.Ā
robin kneels on the sofa right next to him. growling a little and placing one of her hands at his sternum and the other at the same height on his back. like sheās forcing herself inside him, holding him together. her hands start to rub up and down quickly, frenzied and grounding for both of them. steve letās his head hang. eyes closing at the sensation. he grunts. robin grunts back.Ā
eddie joins. sitting at his other side. slipping a hand in steveās hair, soothing his scalp with long scratching fingers. and steve humms, sighs, keens. eyes closed he drifts but not away from his body, instead into it. with gratitude, and warmth. at the centre of the two best things that ever happened to him. willing to try again. be just, better. never perfect.Ā
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pt 3 snippet
a little happier for u @pearynice <3
ty @spectrum-spectre @vampyreddiemunson @fangirlycupcake @grandwretch for ur tags and additions, it was very inspiring
and tags for lovely @irethsune @willim-billiam-byerson @2jug2head
#hope this is okay#i know the comfort isn't like loads but#unmasking is fucking hard#and hes simply doing his best#autistic steve harrington#steddie#platonic stobin#hotlunch#my fic#steve harrington needs a hug#but he gets one so its okay#feel nervous about posting this but letās fucking go my dudes#pls let me know if u like it šš
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vantas bros from my sketchbook sesh
#homestuck#kankri vantas#karkat vantas#god i know. i know kankri is insufferable in canon and it wouldnt ever happen#let me dream okay#im of the opinion that if u read kankri as saying half the shit just to rile ppl up for his amusement itll make u enjoy him MUCH MORE#sassy kankri ftw
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zosynā¦.. Zosan ā¦ thereās yaoi in my veinsā¦ā¦..
#one piece#zosan#sorry for disappearing#im okay <3#my brother called me and i was like i may be going insane but i think theyāre giving me Zosan#he was like wtf do u MEAN theyāre giving you zosan pronounsanji ?!??#itās close enough!#wanted to let you all know that even when im not online im still getting my daily dose of zosan
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im gonna start posting fanfic recs btw whenever i find good ones. both here and my (awfully barren) 18+ account. because there are so many good fics out there with so few hits and fewer kudos and sometimes no comments period and it SUCKS because i REALLY LIKE THEM A LOT.. and i hope that by linking them here and yelling at everyone to COMMENT DAMMIT they might actually do it
seriously though any comment means a lot. most people who read a fic donāt even give a kudos. even if the fic wasnāt top tier, if you didnāt dislike it, hand over some kudos!! and if you liked it, comment!!!! even if the comment is one singular heart emoji it will be appreciated. if the comment just says āgreat fic!ā the author will be happy. your comment doesnāt have to be this long winded gushing or analysis.
so many authors quit writing or lose motivation because the comments are few and far in between or just sometimes nonexistent. trust me when i say authors donāt care about how long or cool or smart sounding your comment is i promise!!!
i hope that mmmaybe recommending fics and telling people to comment might help fics i really like get more support maybe. and i, points at you reading this, hope that you will listen!!!at least a littleā¦.at least sum kudosā¦.
#if u have the ability to reply to my reblog saying how much you loved the fic i recommended comment on the fic itself so the author can see!#especially since the rise of ai writing and seeing ai fics out there can be disheartening#make sure you let your writers know you appreciate them#you never know they might one day write a sequel bc your comment touched them#or might get the motivation to make more works.#(ābut donāt just comment bc you expect something out of it btw. sometimes the author might be too intimidated to reply ive seen that before)#im a huge yapper. if you canāt tell. lmfao.#and i mostly comment on guest. like 99% of the time because the fics are either really embarrassing#or i get nervous about them knowing me/finding my tumblr and thinking im cringw#bc i admire authors so much. and I get that nervousness! given I experience it!!! but guest mode EXISTS!!! most work allows you to comment#on guest mode!! the author CANT see the email you use for it!!! the only reason they even ask is to give you notifs if theres a reply to it!#a comment is still a comment even if on guest or an alt or your main#even if the fic is embarrassing shameful depraved smut you can log out and comment on guest. even if itās embarrassing#because the author still worked HARD. itās so hard to write. people donāt give enough credit to fic authors who do it for free#i had an account (now super abandoned) that had over 400k words. and that didnāt include wips#i reallg do struggle to write because i took a break for so long!!! i can write but not nearly as much as I used to!!! and it sucks!!!#support your authors guys. 1k words is an hour for the first draft at MINIMUM and another hour for revision and editing. and people get#pissy if a fic chapter is less than 3-4k words for some reason. thatās 6-8 hours of work at MINIMUM. likely so much more because thereās#also plotting and brainstorming and So. Much. Editing. stressing out over words and sentence structure. it takes so much time out of your#day. the only oneshot i have posted on this account is 2460 words. and it took me SEVEN HOURS#seven hours!!!! thatās a lot!!!! and for authors that have school or demanding jobs that kind of time is hard to come by!!!!!#and I hope i have convinced at least one of you to listen and go okay you know what. i will. because even if itās a silly comment itās loved#tldr support your local fanfic authors of you will be so stabbed. by me#fanfiction#fanfic#archive of our own#ao3#comment on fics#wick fic recs#thatās the rec tag btw. wow custom tags AGAIN i know. im doing what i thought i never would
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