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sttoru · 1 year ago

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Hi. ✌️ I'm writing this as I'm feeling very low, so I'm sorry if it doesn't really make sense, but I've been struggling with my body image lately. 😓😓

Tw: body image struggles, sadness, negativity, bullying, mentions of being underweight.

For some unknown reason, I've been feeling very unsatisfied with the way I look. I've been struggling to accept my face and body. I used to feel like this when I was like, twelve or something, and then it got better, but, sometimes, like now, I get hit by so many insecurities... 🥲

The beauty standard, for women, where I live is to be curvy (because people love having something to grab).

And I never cared about that until I started going to school and my classmates would talk behind my back about how I was way too thin, way too flat, way too boney, too underweight. About how nobody would ever want me. Saying that my skin was too ugly (because I have freckles and I'm always covered in bruises, my skin is very thin, so it's easy to be marked), that nobody would like to hold me because it would be like hugging a pile of hard uncomfortable bones and then they'd point out "imperfections" that I never even noticed - my stretch marks around my thighs, my asymmetrical nose, my uneven knees, my dimples, my big front teeth, etc.

Having your body trashed by others is so hurtful, even when it isn't directed to me. 😣 Why are these people judging other people on the way they look? In such a superficial way? They didn't choose to be born this way. They are just. There. Trying to live their lives naturally. Why does it bother people so much the way you look? And then they make you hate yourself too, because no one likes having their "flaws" and insecurities called out and made fun of. And the worst part of it: if someone else has the same "flaws" as you, you won't think it looks that bad on them. 😐

Growing up was hard, and I grew to, not love, but accept myself as me. Still, those words linger in the back of my mind. Those are the things I keep on thinking about before falling asleep, while shopping for clothes, while eating, while staring at the mirror. I hate that their words are affecting me until now. I hate feeling so miserable about how I look. Do you have any advice on how to love yourself? On how to heal better from years of receiving hate?

I hope you have a great day and I hope I'm not bothering you. 😅

hellloo! sorry for the late response, i was quite busy :< i’m also very sorry to hear that you feel like that and i surely hope that what i’m going to say helps you somehow. in any kind of way, hopefully.

if your struggles get unbearable, please contact nearby (mental) health care services or friends. remember that there’s always someone out there who care for you for who you are <

first of all, no one deserves to go through such a thing. it’s horrible — that people call others out on things they can barely have any influence on, like how someone looks. never ever should anybody comment on another ones’ looks. shouldn’t ever be considered okay.

unfortunately, nowadays it’s like its normal. i see it every day, people and especially women getting trashed by thousands of unwanted comments from both men and women about their body. being too fat, being too skinny, being too dark skinned, having stretch marks : it’s literally impossible to be a woman, like america ferrera said in the barbie movie (saying the latter assuming you are a woman or identify as one). people will always feel like criticising someone else’s body or face, no matter what you change or try.

there’s lots of reasons for that; some just like to project, others tend to focus too much on the beauty standards that are institutionalised into their brains due to all kinds of social media platforms. you also have some people who love to hate because they want to feel better about themselves; aka insecurities. if they see someone who they think is less attractive than them, they tend to instantly downgrade them to make themselves feel better. it sucks — really does. but that says a lot about them as a person (trash LOL).

so those people who said all of those horrible things to you when you were young, probably did it due to one of the reasons stated above. and let me tell you, all reasons stated above do NOT justify their harsh words. it’s childish and immature to say all those words to you — they’re immature and need therapy themselves to grow out of that mindset of needing to bring other people down.

thus i can promise you that the right (mature) people do NOT care about how you look. the healthy & healed people who learnt that harsh words can easily influence another’s mind for years on end, do not ever trash you for your looks or insecurities. EVER. nor do people who actually realise just how harmful beauty standards are to the average human.

it’s unfortunate that those weren’t the people who were around you during your childhood and i’m sorry for that.

i’m sure you’re just fine. i hope you meet people who love you for who you are, people who love you inside and out no matter what or how you look. there are people out there that i’m sure you’ll meet one day whom will help you heal those open wounds from your past.

but, you can’t just sit around and wait on those people to come heal you. at the end of the day, it’s your body, your life, your thoughts. it’s tough to heal alone — but that’s a good start. slowly starting to learn to love yourself again will bring you all the peace you need.

it’s not a quick journey, believe me. it’s gonna be tough, you are going to slip and fall, but remember that your future is in your hands. not in the validation or words of others: your future is yours and so is your life.

my advice on how to love yourself after all those draining years is to spend more time with yourself. i know it sounds harsh, but getting to know your mind and self can put yourself at complete ease. what can you do to improve your understanding of yourself?

- keep a journal. don’t have to write in it every day, but each time you want to vent — write in it. if you feel too lazy to write, let off your steam in your notes app. or too lazy to type? talk out loud to yourself or voice record it.

- reflect on your journal. think about your feelings — ask why? questions. search for the possible problems behind your feelings. dissect those problems and search for possible solutions.

example: you feel sad again, because of your remembrance of what others had said to you in the past -> accept the situation; understand why you feel the way you feel -> think of those people and realise and accept that they’re in the past and you’re living in the future (as impossible and harsh as that sounds)

your future is in your hands — your future is something that you can CHANGE. the past is unchanging, you can’t undo what they said. you can’t undo the experiences. once again, as harsh as that sounds. accepting and moving on is a life long process which starts with teaching yourself exactly that.

a fresh new start = a fresh new chapter in your life. in your future. your present.

- learn to live in the present. againnnn, sounds impossible, but it takes time to accept this. you cannot undo what has happened nor can you undo that it has influenced you. that’s why people HEAL: you heal from your wounds, you don’t undo them. why? because you can’t undo them. you get hurt and accept the pain and the fact you got hurt. then you can start the process of healing, which you can only do if you move forward.

try your best to not hang in the past and focus on the present and future which lays in your hands.

- whenever you think back to whom or what hurt you, consider the value of it for your personal growth. is it negative? think about it if needed, accept it, nod, shrug and ultimately leave it behind because it will not help you personally in the future; you have no need for that stuff that will only get in the way of your journey to love yourself.

think about it for as long as you need, but make sure the thoughts get left behind. if you do not accept and do not stop thinking about those negative things, they will stick for the rest of your life and only make it more unbearable. (i call it the TAM method: ‘think, accept, move on’)

i know it sounds impossible, but trust me, it works once you get used to it.

of course, it doesn’t always work. and it is not bad to sometimes be unable to, it’s a looooong progress and journey, but as long as you keep doing what i said above — it will eventually come to you naturally. (i hope.)

- self care days! or mental health days, they call it. take some days for yourself, where you do your favorite things and just try to relax the best you can. example; take a walk with some music on, draw, watch your comfort series etc. etc. to get your mood up!! do this weekly. i do it on fridays after school/work because that’s when i feel best. but its always up to you to choose when to do them (can just be whnever you need a break from life).

lastly, i recommend (if you are able to afford it) to see a therapist or psychologist. they can give you the necessary tools and advice to help with your problems properly. it can also help if you talk it out with someone.

i’m always here to listen more to you. always here to help. my dms are also open and i will try to respond asap. remember that beauty standards do not define you for who you are: everyone’s unique, special and beautiful in their own way.

i myself may not love myself or accept myself fully yet, but the more i realise why other people say or do hurtful things, the more i accept that life is always going to be that way. there are always going to be people who criticise you no matter what. it’s a harsh world we live in — a harsh industry with lots of people whom haven’t healed or have gotten out of their institutionalised toxic mindsets. mind you; some never do.

that’s why associating yourself with such individuals will only bring you down. learn to disassociate yourself from them and that includes anything they’ve said to you — leave them to rot away in their own unbearable and toxic thoughts. live your life. it’s yours and no one can change or lead it for you. not their words nor their actions can change your present and future; only if you choose to allow them to.

focusing on yourself and wanting to love yourself and grow as a person gives you autonomy and authority about your own life. take that path and remember that it takes time to heal & accept yourself <3

LOVE YOU!

#sttoru responds.#THIS GOT SUPER LONG BUT #let me know if this helps in any way even if its a crumb

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chiliyue-archived · 2 years ago

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Boom

↬ Things you unknowingly do that make his heart skip a beat.

Gender Neutral Reader

Characters; Riddle Rosehearts, Ace Trappola, Jade Leech, Jamil Viper, Malleus Draconia, Lilia Vanrouge

Riddle Rosehearts

Lip stick smudges - It was just an innocent kiss really but you decided to kiss him right after experimenting with makeup you found. And oh- it left a mark where you kissed him. To be quite frank, Riddle hadn't noticed it until someone pointed it out to him- to which he proceeded to barade you about public appearances and reputations and blah blah blah. He's a blushing mess at the embarrassment, but he can't help stare at it when in front of a mirror, his features betray him.

Telling him 'I love you' before bed. Love was still and will continue to be a mysterious feeling to the redhead. Being told I love you from someone he values(which in itself is astonishing for him to fathom) makes his emotions go haywire. Most of his nights are filled with his phone to his cheek, ears straining to catch any sound from you. Your voice easily lulled him to sleep regardless of what he was doing. And just as his heavy eyelids close to allow somber rest to flood his consciousness, his ears catches those lost few words that always made his heart swell. 'Good night, I love you'

Feeding him strawberry tarts and cherry pies. He would argue with a very prominent blush on his face that he can feed himself. Though despite what he says, he can't seem to deny you whenever you teasingly probe the silver fork towards his lips with the powered tart glistening in strawberry jam. 'Riddle you got crumbs on your cheeks' you would say with a playful smile. The pad of your thumb brushed over the spot, a focused expression growing on your face. And oh, he's gotten even redder. You imagine this won't be the last this happens.

Ace Trappola

Jumping into this arms. How it first occurred that's up to you to decide. The moment he sees you sprinting towards him, your voice beaming; 'here I come!' It coaxes a grin on his face without fail, his hands letting go of everything he's holding(even if its coffee). In many instances, the both of you topple over but that cheerful grin on your faces remains ever permanent as he presses kisses to your cheeks, nose and lips. Being able to be playful with someone he loves dearly is enough to make his heart swell.

The small little compliments. Although Ace builds himself to be tough in the face of any situation, sometimes those efforts can be overlooked. Telling him simple things such as, 'you look really good today' or 'your abilities are getting better' can go a long way for him. And his prior experiences with romances left him in a rather terrible relationship in middle school. He wants to do and be better, so tell him that he is. It will make him feel so much better about himself and fall more in love with you in the process <33

Squeezing his hand. It's a simple gesture compared to the other ways he conveys his love to you. But in public, he understands that such pda would be better reserved behind closed doors. Don't get me wrong, he isn't afraid to kiss you even if Deuce was 2 ft away. With your fingers interlaced with his, he feels within your presence at all times. Knowing your there beside him is a greater feeling than he may admit outloud. And when you squeeze his hand, whether fortuitous or not, it brings him that unsaid reassurance and drops of small tender feelings; a silent 'I love you' 😙

Jade Leech

Matching mushroom things. I believe this is quite self-explanatory. It combines two things that a bring a small grin to his face with little fail. His partner showing mutual interest into his fixations, which others may view as gross, brings a rather odd assortment of new emotions. His head would tilt to the side, brows raising as you held the two charms between your fingers. 'We can now match,' you would say, your voice betraying your shyness. It was such a small thing really, but he holds onto the charm and all other silly little items you bought him close to his chest. As peculiar it may seem to others, it means a thousand words to him.

Preparing him a cup of coffee every morning or when he's working. Jade has always had a role similar to a butler, not that he complains though. However, with having a large responsibility in managing the Monstro Lounge, he grows familar with tending to others needs and wants. And he can do so for many hours without break lest Azul wants the whole business to end in chaos. So when you start going out of your way to wake up early to pour him a cup of coffee, he was perplexed at frist. It was a minor gesture but it saved him additional time. Usually he was the one making you drinks and preparing to make sure your morning went smoothly as possible, so reciprocating it is something he greatly appreciates.

Sticky notes with cute messages. When you started placing the small sticky notes about his room and the lounge, it greatly amused Jade. On the small colorful papers you would write him little sediments and expressions of your affection for him. You even scribed some small reminders for him(though he hardly forgets) of important things he had to do and such, in which he is grateful for the added effort. Will never say it outloud unless you ask him specifically, but he stores all those little messages within a small box hidden within his room, returning to it from time to time. One time Floyd caught him reading those rather silly notes and noticed the ever small smile on his brothers lips

Jamil Viper

Having extra hair ties for him. Jamils hair is l o n g to say the least. And among the most busy of days, he can forget to properly tend it as he always does. Holding onto that extra hair tie does a lot for something that may be simple to another's eye. Putting in that additional care in order to lessen the hassle makes him blush and go all red. Even better if you help tie his hair, he melts within your touch when you gently card your fingers through his scalp. you might even be able to get away with some interesting hairstyles.

Reminding him to rest. He is so use to waking early and sleeping late in order to fulfill all of Kalims little needs. To say the least, he can be ran haggard and still have a magnitude of things needed to be done. This was the lifestyle he had became accustomed to unfortunately. So when you gently pried him away the kitchen and took him to get some quality rest, he was quite surprised. His face would flush when you press your lips aginst his forehead, like a parent to their child, bidding them a goodnights rest. His role of servant was deeply burned in his brain despite what his own ambitions had told him. Simply reinforcing those healthy habits, Jamil can feel more at ease. 'How did I get so lucky...' He would question during such moments as his languish body takes some rest.

Brushing his hair out of his eyes/face. With wild and long hair comes with many strands falling from his ponytail and coats over his eyes. To Jamil, this was minor inconvenience in which he has learned to deal with. He nearly jumped back when he first felt the pads of your fingers gently pry those loose strands from his eyes- his eye widen when you tuck it behind his ear. And oh dear- he's turning red now and his cheeks are growing unbearably hot. 'Are you sick?' 'No-' 'let me check your forehead' ' (●´□`)'. He comes to the realization that he is rather a bit touched starved, before his brain could even acknowledge it, he would be leaning into palm of your hand.

Malleus Draconia

Paper lunch bags. He feels so utterly spoiled when you make him lunch. Gobbles that up like it's his day alive and thanks you profusely afterwards. It could be something burnt, badly cooked or somewhat equivalent to Lilias cookings; he's so grateful. Shows said gratitude in the form of many kisses to your cheeks and lips. In his mind, Malleus is the one who's supposed to be spoiling you, you shouldn't be lifting a finger! But your deviation to him makes a lovely tingle in his hearts which ripples throughout his body. Bonus points if you leave cute little notes; like Jade, he'll store them somewhere safe- perhaps being even a little more protective of your small gifts.

Giving him kisses. He had always been the one giving you affection- both physical and verbal. But being the one kissed, he becomes absolutely smitten. Now Malleus is someone would much rather shower his partner in bits of romance and love at any moment. But being on recieving end leaves his heart bursting with a warm sensation, rare stutters falling from his lips as he ask for another and another. Adores when you shyly ask, 'May I kiss you?' Doesn't care if it leaves a bruise, he just want to be kissed by you and learn how wonderful love can be.

Nicknames. He's been alone for most of his time with the exception with the Diasomnia crew. He's been surrounded by couples, which he has observed from afar ways endearment is exchanged. Nicknames are perplexing to him, what makes an alternate versions of your name so appealing? He wouldn't really know until the first time you called by a nickname. It would catch him off guard but the effect would be long-term; a small smile, augmenting that tingling within his chest, and the want to adorn you in various terms of affection in return.

Lilia Vanrouge

Learning his native language. I would assume his culture would be greatly embedded with him considering he had fought in wars, been honored prestige titles and the held the responsibleility raising the heir. His mother language is by no means a simple thing to learn, just as any other dialect, it contains many rules which can easily frighten anyone whom are attempting to learn. And although you be messing up with pronunciations, and perhaps even called him a crow without much awareness, he appreciates the fact that you're attempting. Gives you many pointers and for each phrase said correctly comes with a reward of snuggles. Becomes a very proud bf when you're able to reply back to him in his language

Your teaseful remarks. Calling him old. Many students look at the bat fae with a perplexed gaze, underneath which holds judgment towards his many- er enthusiastic approaches you can say. He was known for sending chills out the backs of unsuspecting ongoers- being well regarded as an enigma. Though many of his playful gestures are scoffed at and ignored, you on the other hand play along with his silly quips and feign innocence as he teasingly messes with you. Only for you to pull a trick of your own that makes his cheeks warm up, he finds you truly amusing! May even refer to you as his partner in crime, or 'double trouble duo' either way, he loves to reciprocate those silly moments with you which you can both laugh about later.

Wearing his clothes. Lilia finds you truley adorable in all the outfits you pick out. Even a rather insipid uniform lacking much color seems entirely different on your form. And he finds you silly as you adorn his dorm unifrom, covered with unmatching fabrics and ends. He can't stop the chuckles that leave him when he notes the sheer size difference between you and his rather large coat framing your body. He notes the way the belts curved around your waist and looped down against your hip and how his gloves hugged your hands just right- and now he can't bring himself to drag his eyes away. He swears it looks cuter on you than it does him, may even pout and sulk in a teasing way that you outshine him. But he can't help but stare at you with a lovestruck gaze.

#twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #riddle rosehearts x reader #ace trapolla x reader #jade leech x reader #jamil viper x reader #malleus draconia x reader #lilia vanrouge x reader #riddle x reader #ace x reader #jade x reader #jamil x reader #malleus x reader #lilia x reader #twst #twisted wonderland

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neverfilth · 3 months ago

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"Bloberta made Clay drink so-"

OKAY, BUT DO YOU KNOW WHY?

Let me explain

'Help'.

A very important word when describing Bloberta.

First, it is integral to understand that Bloberta feels torturously alone and unwanted. Her friends are all getting married while she has no one.

She isn't clever enough to help Censordoll.

Her own family leaves her out of the family choir.

And the only crumb of validation she is offered is from her mother.

“Why don't you help me out and… Clean your room?” Note even the slight pause her mother has, as if she doesn't even know what to do with Bloberta.

Next, we see her trudge to her room. And what does she hide under the covers of her bed?

A flask.

She turns to alcohol when she is confronted with how unwanted she is. But where did that draw to alcohol come from?

We know she comes from a home where she is ultimately ignored and seen as valueless by everyone except one person.

Her Father.

I have a lot of thoughts about Bloberta and Raymond's relationship (the one scene where they interact just UGH LIVES IN MY HEAD) but the main thing to get away from it is that she associates the act of drinking with her Father.

A man who, without alcohol, is unable to speak his mind at all. He drinks to better tolerate his situation and his wife, who clearly doesn't value his words or opinions.

But Bloberta is very receptive to her Father, she greatly values his company and his thoughts and she finds comfort in being around him. She feels like someone cares about her and values her even if she knows he can't change anything.

Notice that despite her desperation to speak with her father, to form that connection that would validate her, she can't even touch him because she knows doing so would break the frail connection they have currently. Her Father is so reserved that at this point, any unexpected emotional reach would immediately cause him to shut down and retreat. Demonstrated just by him closing up immediately after she told him she loved him.

So how does this affect Blobertas perception of alcohol?

Well she says it herself.

"I think it helps us to be better people".

This rationality was reinforced by the small acts of kindness her father would show her.

And we don't have any reason to believe she is lying about this because up until the night of the reception, she's experienced nothing that contradicts this belief.

Bloberta's reliance on alcohol can be seen as her reaching for a solution to her need to feel wanted. She knows she's left out, both by friends and family. But if she believes drinking can make you become a better person? Then of course she would drink, because maybe then someone will want her.

What does she say directly after that?

"My Father drinks.”

Further insinuating her belief that he is good and he is the main reason she sees alcohol as a positive force.

She thought it would genuinely help Clay.

There's that word again.

Importantly, notice her clear anxiety and tenseness in her beginning interactions with Clay. From her first question, their conversation began falling apart.

So what happened?

Just after the wedding, she was almost suave in the way she invited Clay to the reception.

Why was she so nervous now?

Well, in her eyes, this was her chance.

After an undisclosed time of having no luck she finally convinces a handsome single man to have some semblance of a date with her.

She NEEDS this to go well.

So she's obviously anxious and stressed, and that's showing, but she figures that some drinks will make it easier for both of them. She's full panicking because she feels it's just so normal to drink, especially socially, and she can't understand why he wouldn't drink. She has no frame of reference for that mindset.

Things are already awkward between them once they settle in, and its not getting better. So of course she is going to fall back on what makes things easier for her.

And initially things are looking up.

Suddenly Clay's more talkative, and more receptive to what she's saying.

He's complimenting her.

He says she helped him.

The one thing she wants more than anything is to feel useful, she wants to be able to fit into that role that everyone expects her to so that she can be of worth to someone.

She isn't worth it to her peers,

she isn't worth it to her family,

but she could be worth it to him.

This only reinforces her resolve.

This is it.

She is going to finally find her place to fit in, and everyone will welcome her with open arms as she finally finds her place in the role society has chosen for her.

But it's not that simple.

Things go south quickly, Clay doesn't want these things that Bloberta has to have.

But she needs them.

To Bloberta, those things are proof of your value. The value society, friends, and family place on you.

Who would she be if she couldn't attain that value?

We again recognize that Bloberta has a fixation on being helpful. Helpfulness is the clearest indication of one's value, after all.

After being turned away by Clay, she immediately returns to a default ‘helpful’ act, cleaning. Just like her mother would tell her to do. But this was still her only chance, and Clay had already told her she had helped him. If she could only help him again, then maybe she had a chance at the real value she craved.

Once her anger passes and Clay sobers up, she returns to him and paints herself as ‘helpful’ as possible. She's desperate for that validation again, and if he would agree to her help then everything would certainly be fine.

She is practically begging him, help becomes a plea for him to save her from the pain of her day to day.

She hopes more than anything he will accept her and make all her pain go away.

He does accept, but in exchange, her previous world view is shattered.

Drinks don't help you become a better person.

They just help your true nature come out.

#moral orel #bloberta puppington #bloberta hymentact #gotta go to bat for my girl here #long post

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acowardinmordor · 1 year ago

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You Left Me, You Miss Me - Five

Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five

Continuing immediately from part Four. And I hear your screaming, and enjoy it, but I am pretty sure that I'm not going the direction you expect me to.

------

“Huh?”

“I asked them to,” Eddie repeated, quieter.

It didn’t make more sense the second time. His kids were stubborn. They were obnoxious, and someone asking them to do, or not do something had never once changed anything. Steve spent the last few years asking them not to leave crumbs in his car, and to call before coming over, and to please, just once, let him choose the movie on a movie night. Plus the part where everyone asked them not to put themselves in danger when monsters crawled out of the ground.

Threats didn’t work on them, law enforcement didn’t work on them, like hell was something as delicate as asking going to do a damn thing.

“Yeah, no, I heard you, but I don’t get it. So you, what? You sat them down and asked them to ice me out? And they said ‘sure why not!’ Man, even if you asked them to, they’re still the ones that did it. Shit, you’ve never liked me. There’s no way that you didn’t tell the boys to stop hanging out with me last year during your game meetings before everything happened.” Eddie shrank further into the seat, so Steve added, “So, it’s not your fault, but I guess I forgive you if that makes you feel better.”

Eddie gnawed on the inside of his cheek, wincing at what felt like every other word.

“Shit, Steve, it’s -- Shit,” he cursed as he sloshed some of his coffee over the brim. His eyes were clenched shut, and he was curled in on himself. “I didn’t sit them down and tell them to stop talking to you. That -- no way that would work. You’re right. They wouldn’t just -- Like I said, they’re crazy about you. It’s more, it’s all of the, I told them about how ever since -- shit. Look, it doesn’t matter why or how I did it, just trust me, I’m the reason. It’s my fault, and I fucked up, and I didn’t mean it to make -- but you left, and it’s killing them, and so you gotta forgive them, at least talk to them, cause its not their fault.”

“Yeah,” Steve stalled, “still don’t get why you think this is on you, dude.”

“At the beginning it -- shit, no. Doesn’t matter. Jesus Christ, Munson, don’t make this about that. Okay. I asked them not to invite you if I was around, cause I wasn’t -- I didn’t want to see you, and then I made sure they were always around me because -- because I wanted them to. And then I, you know, kept poking at them about it when they’d bring it up, reminding them that you don’t like D&D and that you wouldn’t want to watch the new Star Trek movie, and when they said anything I just kept telling them that -- Shit, just believe me. I’m the one that made them do this, it’s my fault, it’s not them.”

Okay, so Eddie was pushier since Spring Break than he was before it. Or the kids listened to him more. Or they were trying to take care of him. So Eddie was the prompt for them cutting him out of everything. Fine.

Still didn’t make it the guy’s fault.

Steve got close with Robin after she found out about the Upside Down. But he didn’t get close to Jonathan. Dustin became, for a while at least, his brother. Steve would die for Mike, but they didn’t hang out if it wasn’t a group thing. All of them were tied together, and any one of them could make a call, and everyone would come to help, but that didn’t make them all automatically into friends.

God, Eddie looked like he was on the edge of a breakdown in a booth in a diner.

“Look, it’s,” Steve spun his coffee cup, “you’re real close with the guys in your club right? The ones in your band?”

Eddie went tense, then nodded awkwardly.

“You’re close because of that stuff, though. Not just cause you had some classes together or were next to each other on a bus. You got pushed together for some random reason, but that happened with a lot of people. But you had shared interests, right? You like that game, and you got bullied at school and you like the same loud screaming music. So you got to know each other, and you had a bunch in common, and so you guys are friends. You’re close, so even though you graduated, and you don’t have class and lunch together anymore, you’re still friends.

“Christ, Steve, no,” he protested.

Steve ignored that and kept going.

“I never had that with the kids, or any of them. Shit. Never had that with Nance either, but I didn’t know it back then.” His inner Robin glared, and he stayed on topic. “It wasn’t as simple as sharing some classes, there were monsters and all that, but that’s what kept me and them around each other. No more monsters now, so.”

His stomach twisted, like it always did if he got too close to thinking about this.

He only barely managed to talk about this with Robin, because when it was Robin he was honest, and when he was honest, really honest, he ended the night quiet and hurting and picking apart the past year trying to find what he could have done differently. Shoving all of that back into the dark of his mind, he conjured up a casual shrug and a smile.

“I get that they’re probably freaking out right now, but they’ll get over it. Give it another month or two and it’ll be fine. Start one of your campaign -- your big story things and distract them if they’re bugging you about it.”

He wiped up the coffee Eddie spilled on instinct, and shoved the napkin in his now empty cup.

Time to get home and get a nap before he went to the stockroom that night. He wouldn’t see Robin until he picked her up for work, but they were scheduled alone, so he could talk all of this through then. Trying to pretend this day didn’t happen would last all of eight seconds of contact with his best friend. Maybe she could make sense of how he was feeling.

“Wait, stop, you can’t leave yet.”

“Munson, I’ve been here since before dawn, I wanna leave.”

“I know, and I’m sorry, but you have to talk to them. They miss you.”

“They didn’t six weeks ago, did they? Or for the holidays? Or for the months before that, huh?” Steve finally snapped, then took a breath. “Sorry. Answer’s still no.”

He bussed their cups and the creamer to the pass through and grabbed his coat and gloves. Steam rose off Hopper’s truck where he had the engine running to keep warm. They exchanged a single nod before Steve turned towards the road to walk home.

“Steve!”

It wasn’t a shock to hear, but Steve had hoped that Eddie wouldn’t follow.

“Okay, I get that you’re not going to just forgive them, and that you don’t want to talk to them, but--”

“No. I don’t. And I know you think this is your fault, and I’m telling you it’s not, and I told you, I’m not mad at you about this. We weren’t friends. I’m not mad at you for not wanting me around or whatever. That’s fine. And? They’ll get over it, and everyone can just move on with their lives with the people they actually like.”

Steve’s stupid voice betrayed him, cracking, and he cut off the rest of what he might have said. Anger was the fastest way to shut down weakness, and it was easy for him to sink into it.

Eddie had his hands in his hair, clutching at it near his temples, looking borderline hysterical.

“Would you at least listen if they talked?”

“They don’t have my phone number, and if you tell them where I live, I’ll send Mrs Buckley after you. And Hopper.”

“You could call them.”

“No.”

It wasn’t about who placed the call. If he heard them, if they said a fraction of what he wanted to hear, he’d cave, immediately and entirely, and then both the real life Robin, and the mini Robin in his brain would give him hell.

“Steve come on, something, anything. Letters? If they write letters?”

“I’m not giving them my address, and Hopper already asked about mailing stuff through him instead. No.”

It was cold and he was tired. Just about the only person in the party that he didn’t care had abandoned him was trying to pull Steve back into the vat of slow simmering pain he was still climbing out of.

“Look, Eddie --”

“I’ll drive them. The letters. You don’t even have to answer, or read them. Let me tell them that I can bring you letters, and I’ll drive them up here. If you do want to answer I’ll wait and then drive whatever it is back. As many times as you want.”

“Come on, man.”

“I won’t even -- I don’t have to know where you live, or your number, anything. I can come here. To the diner. Won’t even come inside, just drop them off and wait. You won’t have to talk to me, or see me. Just, come on. Even if you never forgive them, or answer them, let them have this. Even if you don’t read what they say, let them think they got to apologize.”

The wind shifted, and Steve tucked his chin into his coat to wait it out.

Eddie was shivering two steps away, gloveless hands shoved under his arms, hair tangling into more of a mess than usual.

“That’s a stupid idea, Munson,” he said when the gust stopped, “If they know that you know where I am, and you don’t tell them, they’re going to hate you. They’d drive you insane trying to get you to tell them, and they’d be horrible the whole time. They already ditched me for you, so, don’t make them hate you too.”

“They already hate me.” The response was immediate and defeated.

“Dude, they don’t.”

“They do. They figured it out a few weeks ago. That I was the reason. Just cause you don’t get it doesn’t mean they don’t. This is my fault. They already hate me. They won’t even talk to me long enough to yell. They act like I don’t exist.”

“Christ, Munson, is that why you’re up here, freezing your ass off in a parking lot and bitching at me? So you can get them to like you by getting me to talk to them?”

Eddie flinched. Didn’t say anything for a minute as he shivered with wide eyes. Then, without any of the dramatics the guy was known for, “Please, Steve. Even if you throw them out right after. Let them write to you, and let me tell them the truth when I say you got them. I think they can survive if they don’t hear back. They’ll blame me, but that’s fine, they should. The silence is what’s killing them. They need to say how -- they need to believe that you heard how sorry they are.”

It was so fucking cold it was making Steve’s eyes water. That was the only reason for it. The cold front that came in overnight.

“I’m not gonna promise to read them,” he caved.

The tension collapsed out of Eddie, and he slumped forward, hiding his face in his hands.

“I work here in the mornings Monday through Wednesday every week. You should drop them off then. M’not saying I’ll read them, or write anything back, but if they want to write, fine.”

Eddie nodded over and over, hiding behind his hands, and whisper-mumbling something that Steve couldn’t catch. He was shaking again. The kind of full body wracking that meant the cold was sinking deep.

“Christ, go get in Hop’s truck before your fingers freeze off or something.”

Without waiting for a response, or checking that he listened, Steve turned and kept walking. Another gust of wind tore through him, loud enough that he wouldn’t have heard another call of his name. It was a good thing that John messed up the big combo that morning, and Steve had eaten it during the lull after breakfast. He wasn’t going to manage anything else until tomorrow at the earliest.

That was assuming Robin didn’t kill him on the spot for his stupid, stupid decision.

Ten steps down the road, and he already regretted it. Even if he didn’t read anything, even if they never sent anything, the choice would sit like a rock in his gut; a new ache, a new bruise, and Steve was dumb enough that he’d keep poking at it.

---

I'm sad that this is two chapters without Robin. That's some kind of a crime. Can guarantee that Robin has Strong Opinions about this when she talks to Steve that night.

I don't do tag lists or regular updates, and I have no shame about that.

>>>>>Part Six

#You Left Me - You Miss Me #steddie eventually #steddie ficlet #but hey look they talked!#my writing

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epigstolary · 10 months ago

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Real Talk

TW: Medical fatphobia, health issues, fat shaming, toxic masculinity

Dude, you say you want me to help you, but you’re going to have to get serious if you really want to start losing weight. I’m a trainer, not a miracle worker. I mean, look at you; you know your body’s fucking disgusting, right? You let yourself get so huge that even your fat guy clothes can’t hide your belly anymore. Every inch of you is covered in blubber. Everywhere you look. And you have to push all that fat around every time you want to walk or move. It’s so gross watching you try to go anywhere. You’re just waddling around under hundreds of pounds of fat, wheezing like you just ran a marathon. Like… people aren’t supposed to get to the size that you have. And don’t give me that “health at any size” bullshit. You’ve got to have some serious problems to get this big and think it’s ok. Nobody your size is healthy. Your body’s a fucking disgrace, tubbo.

You gotta realize just how bad being this fat is for you, right? Think about it. All that fat’s wrapping around your organs. Either they work harder, or they just quit working. Your joints are getting annihilated having to move all that extra weight around. Your heart’s having to work so much harder just to do its thing because you’re so fucking big. Your body’s not supposed to work like that. It feels like it’s under attack 24/7 — because it is — so you’ve got anxiety, you’ve got inflammation, your hormones are all out of wack. Your body chemistry is basically fucked once you get fat. And fucking forget about it when you weigh as much as three normal people, like your flabby ass does.

Not that you seem to care, since you pay zero attention to your diet. It’s just fucking scary, bro. I’ve seen you pound an entire pizza or a bag of burgers and be ready for more. And that’s just, like, a regular lunch for you. There’s so much saturated fat and sugar in all the shit you eat for every meal, it blows my mind that you’re even able to function. Where do you think that shit goes after you cram it down your throat, meal after meal? It’s blowing up your body even fatter. It’s clogging up those arteries to make that overworked heart work even harder. It’s running through all the insulin your body tries to pump out so that it can deal with the abuse you put it through. I bet if I went through your kitchen right now, I couldn’t find one goddamn vegetable — all sweets, and takeout, and chips, and junk food, am I right? Yeah, you love kicking back on the sofa and working through a big pile of garbage like that, don’t you, fatass? I bet you sit there just belly out, crumbs and shit all over your tits, like a big fucking blob, huh?

Keep eating like that, and you don’t have a fucking chance. You’re just gonna keep blowing up until you finally have the fucking big one. That shit is so, SO bad for you. You want to not be a total embarrassment, fatty? You’re gonna have to throw the snack cakes in the garbage. You’re gonna have to cook stuff that’s not loaded with butter or grease or sugar. You’re gonna have to eat something green that grows in the ground every once in a while. And yeah, you’re probably going to feel like shit for a while because your body’s used to getting fed lard nonstop all the fucking time. But you gotta get a little self-control. The whole reason why you look like a fucking enormous cow, why you’ve got that belly packed full of fat fucking garbage, is that you’ve never had any.

I guess what I can’t figure out is, why the fuck did you do this to yourself? It’s so much harder to make it through life when you’re this fucking heavy. You can’t even go anywhere or do anything because you’re too fat to leave the house. Everyone you meet has to be shocked at what a lardass you are. Nobody who sees your disgustingly obese body is gonna want to fuck you, except the fucking weirdos who get off on that shit. Maybe that’s who you have to settle for, since there’s no way you’re reaching your dick with all that fat in the way. God, I can’t even imagine letting myself get too fat to be able to fuck. That’s so fucking gross, bro.

Like, look at me. Look at this rock-hard bicep next to that big flabby fucking water wing of an arm you have. Look at these abs next to you and that belly hanging down to your knees. It doesn’t even have a fucking shape. Look at these tight glutes next to that wide, wobbling, fat ass you’ve gotten from sitting in front of the tv stuffing your fat face for years. With a body like this, I can fuck anyone I want. How do you think that same hookup’s gonna go for you, huh? Nobody out there’s going home with a pile of jello like you You’re going home, alone, to try and figure out a way to get yourself off.

And dude, I’m not saying all this just to shit on you. I’m worried about you. It sucks to see my bro blow up into a fucking whale and get all mopey ‘cause he can’t get any ass. But you need someone to be real with you. Someone’s gotta tell you how much of a fatass you are, and how much of a fatass you’re gonna be until you get to the gym and shut this fast food and shit down. You can’t blame anyone but yourself for how you got this way. Keep complaining, and you’re going to keep being a gross fatty. You’re gonna have to go out, get some fucking exercise, and deal with being embarrassed at being the fattest guy at the gym until you’ve put in the work to fix it.

Trust me, bro, you’ll thank me later.

#feeder fiction #gainerfiction #ssbhm #weight gain fiction #wg fiction #extreme weight gain #wg story #gaining #gainer stories

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sweetlyskz · 1 year ago

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Emerald Gem||Chapter 3

Pairing: Hybrid!OT7 x fem!reader

Overview: Living away from society has its perks. All natural food from your thoroughly cultivated farm, no nosy neighbors, and peace and security with your animals. But sometimes you did get lonely, having no one the talk to but the pigs. However, when 7 extremely wanted hybrids stable upon your deserted farm, everything changes.

Genre: Hybrid Au, Strangers to lovers, slow burn, smut, fluff

Warnings: Suggestive themes, language, mentions of abuse and trauma

Word count: 1.5k

Unedited

He was avoiding you. You could tell. He made it very obvious. Each morning you woke up, he was going to sleep. And every night you went to sleep, he was just waking up, but he didn't dare leave the room, for fear that he would run into you.

Joon was still being Joon, and the Situation with Jimin made it worse. You weren't sure if he knew what happened between you and Jimin, but you didn't ask to find out either. However, he was eating more and more. At least he can trust you enough to eat your cooking. That's progress, right?

Before you knew it, the boys had been with you for two weeks. Some of them had become pretty comfortable. Taking the advice Taehyung gave you, you bought some cat scratchers for Yoongi. All of the wolf hybrids in the pack would go in the backyard to let all their energy out, except Joon. He just watched over them, scolding them whenever they would chase the chickens.

Jungkook was your new best friend. He stuck by your side like glue, your big buff teddy bear. Yoongi was quiet, reserved. He spoke to you often, but he tried not to talk for longer than a couple minutes. Jin and Taehyung were the best of help. He always cook meals, and when it's time to farm, he never lets you do anything yourself. Hoseok was still timid and flighty, but he was loyal. This group of dangerous hybrids was slowing becoming a loving family... very slowly.

"Seriously Tae, get your own!" Jungkook and Taehyung were fighting over the new snacks you had gotten them. One thing you learned about about kook was that he was very territorial over his belongings. That's why you had a specific drawer of snacks with his name on it.

Unfortunately, that wasn't enough to stop Taehyung.

"Just one bite, please!" They were playing tug of war with the bag of chips. Jungkook was winning. "You have a whole box of them! I can't have just one?"

"No! You can't", he protested. While trying to tear the chips from Tae's grasp, the bag rips, chips flying in the air and landing all over the kitchen.

"Look at what you did!" Tae accused, bending down to pick everything up. A broom would've been more efficient but he wasn't sure where you kept it. "Hurry up and help me clean before Y/n sees it!"

Swiftly, Jungkook helps pick up the salty potato chips. Before exiting the kitchen, they look around one more time to make sure there wasn't even a single crumb on the floor.

And with that, the argument over the chips was over, never brought up again...

You noticed that Jimin loved hanging out in your greenhouse, admiring all of your colorful flowers. You wanted to give him some space, but while watching him walk around the greenhouse you had the urge to join him.

"Those are vincas, by the way", you whispered loud enough for him to hear you, fiddling with your fingers.

He appeared to be startled by your presence- rightfully so. His mouth hung open, looking as if he wanted to say something. You stoped him before he could get the chance.

"Before you say anything. Let me just apologize first-"

He shook his head. "Don't. There's no need to apologize. You did nothing wrong... I should be the one apologizing. I know that hybrids and humans aren't allowed to interact i-in that way- very selfish of me."

"What are you talking about?" You may have done a lot of research on hybrids, but you never did any on their relationship with people. Maybe you should've...

"In the lab they always told us..", Jimins mind went back to the days he wished to never remember.

The lab was cold, ice cold. Stuffed in cages, the wolves shivered, huddled together for warmth. One by one, the men in lab coats sedated the wolves, fearing being bit by them.

"This one is feisty!" The researcher laughed, holding the hybrid by the spikey collar as the medicine kicked in. The others in the cage kicked and pulled on the metal bars.

"Please! He's tired, he can't take anymore!" The pack leader begged. "Take me! Take me instead, I'll do anything."

The researcher came up to the cage with a cane, banging it on the bars. "Listen here, mutt", he hissed. "Each of us have a part to play. Your is to be obedient to your superiors, understood?"

The other men laughed and applauded him for putting Joon in his place. "That's right! Show him what happens when mutts defy humans..."

Everyone in the lab agreed, shouting as if the lab had become the coliseum. A fox hybrid ran up to the bars, getting down on his knees, head pointed to the floor.

"Please excuse him, sir. We know are place is and will always be behind these bars. Please have mercy", he pleaded.

The researcher smirked. "Always remember your place. You will never have what we have. No human will ever want you, not even as a pet- definitely not as a lover. Remember this- your barely human, and will never be treated as such..."

Jimin was heavily drugged up, laid out on the surgery table. However, what the researcher said, his words- Jimin remembered every last bit of it. It still rang in his ears. You will never be treated as human...

And so, if I'm not going to be treated as one, why try and act like one? Why not let my wolf counterpart take over? These thoughts dangled over Jimin's head. And with those thoughts, he used every last bit of his strength to stab one of the researchers with a knife- the same knife they were gonna use to rip him open.

Namjoon grabbed the other man through the metal bars, choking him until his eyes rolled backwards. Jimin rolled off of the table, and the rest is a blur.

Next thing they knew, the men in lab coats were dead, and all of the hybrids in the lab were freed by Jimin's hands. With how weak he was, it truly was a miracle. He saved the lives of over a hundred hybrids.

The next few months after, these hybrids hid in the woods, using their primal instincts to survive. Maybe those men were right. Maybe they were never human to begin with.

That's what they thought, but those thoughts went away when they met you. The person who was kind enough to let them in their home, give the somewhere to rest their head. It was you. You were their person.

But sadly, you couldn't erase the damage that had been done. You couldn't get rid of the bad memories, the mistreatment. And that moment you showed a bit of affection for Jimin, he was elated, but the voices started speaking to him.

And then men in the lab coats came to him saying, this won't last forever...

***

"Why didn't you tell me? I don't ever want to make you uncomfortable in any way!"

Jimin told you his story, his deep-rooted fears. You both laid in a field of daisies as he confided in you. It's difficult for you to explain the emotions you were feeling as he told his past. Sympathy? Rage? Both?

"Because... A part of me- actually all of me wanted to. I want to be yours. But the thoughts- they're stuck in my brain and resurface every time I get even a little bit of hope." Jimin's head hung low, picking the flowers from the fresh soiling and plucking each petal one by one.

She loves me...she loves me not... she might love me?

You grabbed his hands gently, holding them between yours. "Look at me", you asked him softly. He obeyed, of course.

"You are half wolf, that part is true. But Park Jimin, you are human! You more human than any human I've ever encountered! You're kind, charismatic, and the most thoughtful person I have ever met.

Your words brought tears to his eyes, and seeing him cry made you eyes swell, too. You enveloped him, hugged him tightly- but not too tight. Just enough to show how much you mean it. Then you placed a loving kiss on his forehead.

"You deserve this, Minnie." The new nickname perked his ears. You could tell he liked it. "You deserve life. An amazing fucking life."

"T-thank you", he whispered. "I- I can't thank you enough."

"Don't thank me. Just get better. Seeing you hurt makes me hurt. And seeing you scared makes me scared. I swear on everything I love that you will never go back there, or anywhere."

"But, once Joon is ready, we'll be gone", Jimin confessed. "I don't want to leave, but he also has his own story to tell."

You pondered, never daring to remove Jimin from your grasp. Maybe you can convince him to stay permanently? Maybe there is something you can do to ease the pain...

"Don't worry your pretty little head, just rest." You gave his hair a fluff, earning a cheesy smile from him. And just like that, you both napped in the field of daisy, his arms wrapped around your waist and your hands holding his head close to your chest.

You have to make things right...

~Taglist! (closing soon!!)

@yoongicatcat @wifflepuff1344 @unwillingly-oblivious @shycreationdreamland @emer-syn @rinkud @amimami1991 @singukieee @nikkiordonez12 @xicanacorpse @cestlabellemort @whipwhoops @spider-thot0115 @ddaeng-angmoh @silscintilla @readerofallthingss @welcometomyworld13 @danielle143 @kookiesbunny @yoongiigolden @woozixo@anaspectoflife @blackrockshooter780 @famousdelusionobservation @jewishmommy @talyaaas-blog @eashmo @jaiele @kaceypdf @reallysparklychaos

~Permanent taglist!

@famousdelusionobservation @marblemoonstones @stupendousliteraturewritingoaf @fearnotfimmie @v-love @tired7o7

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phoenixeclipse-lmkau · 11 days ago

Note

i have another crumb for you! very small tho

reader and co run into another monkey! [i didn't know if i should make it a cub or not, you decide] it was injured and reader patches it up! the monkey duo can talk to and this monkey understands them! problem tho, if they try and get help, that means leaving reader :(

wait...

what is this? reader is interested in this monkey? reader is stopping petting them to interact with this monkey? reader is putting them them down to pick up this monkey?

no! no no no!

not in a thousand years, not ever! they don't need this monkey's help to turn back, they are sun wukong and six eared macaque, monkey demon warlords! they can figure out a way to break this curse while staying with reader 24/7! go away monkey, they say, we don't need any help, we are perfectly fine!

reader can only guess that the duo cubs are scared or wary of the new monkey, and tries to calm them down, which is thwarted whenever they interact with the new monkey.

gods forbid she gives the monkey duo to spirit to focus on this monkeys injuries.

poor thing. it didn't ask for this.

ok, i will stop crumbs for now, i worry i am clogging your asks. i heard someone say if you get too many asks its impossible to access old ones until you deal with new ones, and idk if its hyperbole or not.

Hello CRUMB!! I love this ask!!

Now for this it will have to be an adult monkey demon or minimum a teenager because the two warlords love cubs. They would never be mad at a cub and will do a lot to protect them. They also adore seeing Reader holding other cubs, because she looks so beautiful and loving with them. When Reader is holding cubs? That also makes them want to have cubs with you for themselves. But they’ll have to wait until they fix the curse before they can even think about that.

They are willing to be separate from her TEMPORARILY if it’s for a cub. Now if it’s an adult? O HO we can have some fun with that.

You stood there frozen for a moment when you caught sight of the monkey demon crouched down and clutching their bleeding arm. He was panting heavily as he groaned in pain. It was a 5 foot tall monkey demon with dark red fur and piercing grey eyes.

The moment you took a step forward he let out a growl to tell you to stop. You did but then took another step forward and he snapped his teeth at you. He only stopped when the two monkey cubs on your shoulders snapped back. Chirps immediately followed as you stood there unsure of what to do.

‘Who are you??’ Peaches asked, his tone firm as he spoke.

Much to his surprise the monkey demon before them actually… he actually recognized them and chirped back. ‘King? Warrior? What happened?’

The two debated weather or not to actually answer the question. It was a shock by itself that the monkey demon was able to recognize them at all. It was suspicious but this was also one of the monkeys from their home, from Flower Fruit Mountain. So there was a chance that he was simply able to recognize them because of that. They were about to respond when Reader, THEIR READER knelt down beside the demon.

“Listen I know you don’t seem to like me but we really need to fix up that arm,” You explained calmly more focused on the bleeding than the fact you were being snarled at.

The monkey demon soon stopped in favor of finally letting you touch them. At first the monkeys on in your arms found it sweet… for about a split second before they snapped to attention when they were set on the ground. Immediately they started chittering and chirping at you, demanding your attention.

“In a moment, I need to help this one first. What’s your name?” You asked looking up at the monkey demon’s face for a moment.

“Ba… My name is Mink. What are you doing with-,” He was cut off by two small growls from the cubs. “Those cubs.”

“Peaches and Plums? They’re my friends, I’m taking them to Flower Fruit Mountain… I think. Spirit was pretty vague on what we were doing- And done! How is that?” You asked when you motioned to the wrapped injury.

The monkey demon looked at it before looking back at you. He was in shock, opening his mouth he was about to speak when the monkey king and warrior jumped up onto you chirping for your attention.

“You two need to calm yourselves, I can’t just leave him to bleed out,” You mutter picking up Peaches by the scruff and setting him back on the ground.

The monkey was in absolute shock. He let you do that!? What happened to him!? Was this really his king?? He nearly snapped his head to the side when he saw Macaque jump onto your foot and climb up your leg until you picked him up to set him down too.

“Sorry just give me a second, these two can be pretty clingy,” You chuckle as you try to

“Reader?” Spirit’s voice suddenly called to you.

“Oh great, Spirit can you hold these two for a moment? I need to make sure I didn’t miss anything,” You said picking up Peaches and Plums and plopping them into Spirit’s arms.

Two screeches quickly followed as you approached the monkey demon again to speak with him. Of course you made sure to give him a pat on the head before letting him know that he’ll be okay.

>>><<<

“I can take them to Flower Fruit Mountain. It is my home and it will allow the both of you to travel on your own,” Mink said as he readied to leave you and Spirit.

You froze at the words, you didn’t want to leave the cubs in the care of someone else. You wanted them to stay with you where you knew for a fact they were safe and sound from any and all danger. Though they weren’t REALLY safe when you were attacked so often.

“I’m not sure,” You mutter looking at the cubs who openly hissed at the monkey demon, glancing at Spirit you waited for her opinion.

“It would definitely be faster. It might be for the best,” She muttered in response.

*HISS*

It was only a matter of moments after Spirit spoke but the two let outraged chirps and hisses directed solely at the monkey in front of them. The very thought enraged them beyond all belief. They would NOT ALLOW THIS IMBECILE TO TAKE AWAY THEIR DARLING!!

‘Take one step closer and you will be nothing but blood and bones,’ Was the last chirp that made Mink freeze and step back. The deadly look within the monkey king’s eyes, directed at HIM? Over a HUMAN!?

You must have brainwashed him, that was the only- at the sound of clinking teeth he up and ran away. You immediately calling after him in confusion but didn’t get so much as a single response.

“What was that all about?” You muttered in shock before turning to the two proud monkey cubs who jumped up to climb her legs. “What did you two say?”

You had a firm glare on your face but the cubs just looked at her with wide eyes slightly blinking innocently. As if they did nothing wrong at all which staring at them you could tell was very wrong.

“You could have gotten to a nice home FASTER, and you scared him off,” You grumbled only to get nuzzled in the cheek in response. They really didn’t care as long as they were WITH YOU.

With a sigh you let out a soft chuckle, “Would you miss us that much?”

‘You,’ they chirped not that she could understand them, they could do without Spirit… even if she was starting to grow on them. Just a tad.

Listen I know you said this was a SMALL crumb. But I can’t help but see it as a rather big one. Maybe not in words but in how it is portrayed. There was SO much more that I could add to this that I didn’t. Though I might in the future, hehe~ Mink as I have named this monkey demon will probably show up eventually. I do hope you don’t mind of course. The MANY MANY ideas that come up with this are absolutely outstanding. Thank you for the ideas!

#dead dove do not eat #sun wukong x macaque #yandere sun wukong #yandere macaque #sun wukong x reader #macaque x reader #shadowpeach x reader #Cursed Warlord Au #Cursed Warlord Lmk Au #Oc Mink #Oc Chu Spirit #Lmk Oc #Lmk oc and reader

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nova-is-a-writer-now · 3 months ago

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Hidden embers

Chapter 2

Chapter summary: Tensions rise during a church fundraiser, unexpected closeness with Joel begins to blur the lines between what’s right and wrong.

A/N: It took me so long to post this, school has been killing me lately, my sincerest apologies. This is a fun little chapter, wrote it a while back. I’m currently writing chapter 4 and I can’t wait for you guys to read that one. I hope you enjoy this 🤍

Warnings: No outbreak AU, Age gap, DBF!Joel, some accidental physical contact lol

Series masterlist

Two days after the barbeque, you’re woken up by the gentle touch of your dad stroking your hair.

“Hey, sweetheart.” he says almost in a whisper

You squint at the clock on your nightstand, its red numbers flashing in the dim morning light. The faint glow through your curtains barely illuminates your dad’s face. “Dad? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing's wrong, kiddo. Just wanted to let you know I’m off to that church fundraiser we told you about. They need me and Joel to help with setting up lights and whatnot. Didn’t know if you’d wanna come”

You groan, rolling onto your back and closing your eyes. “Dad, it's 6:30 a.m on a Sunday. The only thing I wanna do right now is burrow myself in this bed for at least three more hours.”

He chuckles softly, standing up from where he was crouching next to your bed. “Alright, you’ll have to help your mom with the baking then. She’s gonna be selling all those pastries today and I bet she could use a sous-chef”

Before he can make it any closer to the door, you sit up in your bed and rub your eyes “I’m up. Be down in 5”

You cradle a hot cup of coffee to your chest, the summer heat creeping in very slowly this early in the morning. Your first stop is Joel’s house and even the struggle to keep your eyes open doesn’t distract you from the nervous flutter in your stomach at the thought of seeing him again.

You've been doing mental gymnastics, trying your damn hardest to keep your mind off of him, convincing yourself this is just a silly fixation and will pass as soon as you get used to seeing him around. Just push through it, and eventually, your heart will get the memo.

Your dad pulls up to his driveway and parks right next to his truck. The front door is in your direct line of sight when Joel opens it, carrying a couple boxes and a toolbelt slung over his shoulder. You have to make a conscious effort to not stare at his arms, at how big they get whenever he carries heavy things around—that proves to be a lot harder when he’s walking in a straight line towards you.

Thankfully, your dad gets out of the car to help, sparing you from further gawking. You hear him ask if there are any boxes left inside and from the way he heads back towards the house, you guess the answer is yes.You roll your window down to ask if he needs any help just as those strong arms you were trying to ignore rest themselves on the window frame.

“You didn’t strike me as an early bird.” Joel says, his eyes now leveled with yours, much closer than you had been two days ago.

Your cheeks betray you, flushing a shade of red that now feels reserved for him. “Do I strike you as my mom’s baking assistant for the entire day?” you retort, a grin sneaking onto your face.

You’d be lying through your teeth if you said you weren’t trying to earn another one of those earth shattering chuckles with your comment. Turns out you’re pretty good at it, because a second later he’s dropping his head, a low rumbly chuckle escaping him. “I reckon you don’t.”

His eyes come back up to meet yours, holding for a beat longer than they probably should, like he’s giving you one more tiny bread crumb to follow the trail, to figure out the riddle. Or maybe you’re just losing your mind, which is entirely possible.

Just when the tension between you two is about to reach a breaking point, your dad reappears with more boxes.

“A little help, pal? It wouldn’t kill ya,” he calls out, breaking the spell.

As your dad parks the car in front of the church, you spot Mrs. Calloway, the lively old lady you spoke to at the barbecue, waving energetically. The early morning sun casts long shadows across the church’s lawn, the air carrying the faint smell of freshly-cut grass.

“Oh good, you’re here!” she greets the three of you as you step out of the car.

“Mornin’, Mrs. Calloway. How’s the day treatin’ you?” your dad asks, hauling open the truck's tailgate.

“Oh, busy, so much to do. I see you brought me an extra pair of hands here,” she says, sidling up to you and giving your arm a friendly squeeze.

“Yeah, he was very convincing, couldn’t refuse the invite,” you reply with a polite smile. You've taken a real liking to Mrs. Calloway. She never talks about your parents when she chats with you. Instead, she asks about your life or shares stories about her cats—which is a refreshing change of pace.

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t, pumpkin. I have a bunch of decorations to put up inside.” She leans in closer and half-whispers, “And for all their virtues, I wouldn’t trust these ones with decorating if it was my last day on earth.”

You can’t help but giggle just as a voice comes from the back of the truck. “Heard that.”

You turn to see Joel balancing a couple boxes with practiced ease “Is she wrong?” you ask, a teasing smile on your lips.

He grins, shaking his head. “No, she’s very right.”

“Oh, Joel could help you out” Mrs. Calloway suggests. “There are some pretty big containers stuffed in the back of the storage room with everything you’ll need. Why don’t you go grab them while we start setting up the tables out here?”

“You got it,” you say, trying to wave away the thought of being alone with Joel again.

You walk into the church with Joel trailing just behind, his presence is a comforting warmth against the cool morning air. The quiet of the church envelops you both, the sound of your footsteps echoing softly. You spot a door in the back corner “That’s the one?”

“That’s the one.” Joel confirms, taking the lead as you reach the storage room.

Inside, you find a mountain of containers piled up against the wall, with big brown boxes and plastic bags teetering on top.

“So, how many of these do we need?” you ask, hoping to distract yourself from how close he is.

“Just a couple to start with,” Joel replies, handing you one of the containers. “We’ll come back if we need more.”

You both carry the containers out of the storage room, the clatter of plastic echoing through the empty church hall.

“Alright, let’s see what we’ve got here,” Joel says, setting his container down and opening it. You follow suit, pulling out strings of lights, banners, and a variety of festive decorations.

“I didn’t think we’d be doing arts and crafts today,” you joke, unfurling a particularly colorful garland.

Joel smiles. “Yeah, not exactly my forte, but we’ll make it work.”

You pick a banner out of the container, large enough to hang from one column to the other, and spot metal hooks screwed all the way up—clearly where it’s meant to go.

You notice a small ladder pushed against a corner and leave Joel’s side to fetch it.

He only seems to notice what you’re up to once he hears the ladder scraping against the column

“Leave it, I'll take care of that.”

“Oh, don’t give me that. I’m not a lady in distress, I can hang up a banner on my own, Joel.” You reply stepping up on the ladder trying to test out its stability with a little bounce

“I know you can darlin’, but I’d rather do it myself. That ladder—”

“The ladder is fine, Joel. Go back to untangling those lights.” You’re not quite sure what you’re trying to prove – maybe this was an attempt at stripping away that childish image he had of you.

He disregards your comment and walks right to your side, his hands slightly stretched out like he's preparing to catch you.

“You’re being so dramatic,” you say climbing to the highest point of the ladder.

Sure, it’s old but if it held up this long it could hold for a little bit longer. “See? I’m just fine, I just gotta hook this up here…”

As if on cue, the ladder starts creaking ominously just as you stretch your arm out to reach the hook. Not half a second later, the rusty metal piece that was holding all your weight up snaps and Joel’s arms wrap around your body, pulling you safely against his chest.

For the second time that day, you could say that was the closest to Joel you’ve ever been. His face just inches away from yours, both arms holding you securely, the woody, musky scent your brain had labeled as uniquely his, overwhelming your senses.

Words failed you as you stared into those deep brown eyes, and every part of you wanted to believe it was just the shock of the fall, but it was getting harder and harder to keep shamelessly lying to yourself.

When he finally breaks the silence, it’s pretty much a lost battle. “Will you stop being so stubborn and let me help you now?”

“Favorite color”

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.”

Joel chuckles once again, and at this point, you’ve lost count of how many times you’ve pulled that off. With Joel Miller, even a small chuckle feels like a major accomplishment.

After spending the entire morning decorating the inside of the church (most of which you spent explaining to him he couldn’t mix the red decorations with the green ones because it wasn’t christmas), you were both assigned raffle duty. You sold the tickets and Joel put them in the big raffle draw, using the lever to mix them up as he went.

The two of you sat behind a little stand, and in your best attempt to hear as much as you could of that sweet, caramel-y drawl, you convinced him to play twenty-questions. Each of you took turns asking the other whatever popped into your heads, and the other had to answer honestly.

Your questions ranged from what animal he would choose to turn into if he could shapeshift at will, to his favorite subjects back in high school, and even who in your family he would take to a deserted island if he knew he’d have to partner up to make it out alive. (He picked you, obviously. Your dad was terrible at functioning in high pressure situations). His questions on the other hand had been generic at best, deadly boring at worst.

You leaned back in your chair, the wooden slats creaking under your weight, and gave him a playful glare.

“You said any question that popped into my head,” he defends himself, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

“Oh and you’re dying to know my favorite color, are you?” you ask back, dripping with sarcasm.

“I’ll lose sleep over it if you don’t tell me” his voice gets low and serious in complete contrast to how ridiculous his statement is.

“Blue,” you admit, “but not the default shade of blue everyone thinks of, more like a ‘clear water lake’ kind of blue” you look back at him and he just kind of stares, like he's too distracted by you to even register the answer to his question. “What’s your’s?” you ask, pulling him out of his trance.

“Brown.”

You laugh at his answer.

“Something funny?” he asks

“Only you, Joel Miller, would have brown as your favorite color.”

“It’s a perfectly normal favorite color.” He says defensively, a little frown creasing his features.

“Joel, it’s the most boring of colors, it’s not even a color in itself, it's all the colors mushed together.” you giggle at the absurdity of the conversation, leaning in closer, enjoying the banter more than you care to admit.

“It’s practical, goes well with everything, looks good in any house—an easy, simple color.”

“But your favorite color isn’t supposed to be about practicality, it’s supposed to be about which one you like the most.” You argue back.

“You tryna tell me how to pick my own favorite color, kid?” he teases you, receiving only a death stare in return.The warmth in his eyes makes your heart skip. “Fine, it’s green.”

“See? That's a normal favorite color”

“Yeah, and you’re a piece a’ work.” he mutters, shaking his head, but there’s a smile tugging at his lips that tells you he’s enjoying this as much as you are.

Just like that, Joel Miller makes the rest of the day easy to get through. Even with the awkward feeling of being an outsider, looking through a window into a room full of people who’ve known each other their whole lives, he manages to ground you. He’s either pulling you into senseless conversation or letting you bask in a comfortable silence, and both feel like a lifeline.

By the end of the day, you walk around helping Ms. Calloway clear out the tables, throw all the empty cups and disposable plates into a trash back and group up the chairs so your dad can take them back inside.

During one of your ‘picking up leftover trash’ rounds, you see your mom standing next to Joel’s truck. He’s right beside her loadingback up the tools he’d brought with him this morning. You knew Joel was a lot colder and closed off with other people—that's what earned him his grump reputation in the first place—but in the short time you’ve been around him since you came back, you’ve never seen him be so stiff around anyone like he is with your mom.

That is certainly a rare sight, given your mom was one to charm any and everyone who crossed her path. Pageant queen, cheerleader, hair larger than life type—your mom is a sight for sore eyes, even you have to admit that. It was hard to engage in conversation with her and not be dazzled by her looks and also by her bubbly personality, or the persona she put on for others at least. It almost seemed like she hadn’t been told no once in her entire life.

But Joel seemed immune to it, no warm smile on his face, no polite small talk, not even gentleman-like behavior beyond the strictly necessary. In fact, something in his face told you he couldn’t wait to get on his truck and leave. He stands with his arms crossed tightly over his chest, every line of his body screaming discomfort.

You watch the two of them from a distance, your mom batting her eyelashes up at him, her body leaning towards him slightly, trying to close the gap he’s so obviously desperate to maintain. Meanwhile, Joel looks like he’s doing everything in his power to keep his distance, stepping closer and closer to his truck’s tailgate. His jaw is set like stone, eyes flicking to the side as if searching for an escape route, and you can almost see the tension radiating off him in waves.

Your mom leans in closer, her voice dropping to what she probably thinks is a conspiratorial whisper. Even from a distance, you can see Joel’s eyes narrow, a flicker of something like annoyance passing over his face before he schools his expression back to neutral.

An unshakable uneasiness tugs at your chest that won't allow you to walk away, against your best instincts you decide to barge in.

“Hey, Mom!” you chirp, sliding right up next to Joel. “I think Mrs. Calloway is looking for you. Something about the pies?”

Your mom turns to you with a bright smile, though there’s a flicker of irritation in her eyes that’s hard to miss. “Oh, I’m sure she can manage without me for a moment,” she says, but you can tell she’s not thrilled about being interrupted.

Joel gives you a grateful look, his eyes meeting yours with a silent thanks. You catch a slight relaxation in his shoulders, like he’s the one being thrown a lifeline this time.

“Actually, Mom, she seemed really insistent,” you retort, trying to sell the urgency of the situation. “You know… with the wrapping things up and all.”

Your mom hesitates, her gaze flicking between you and Joel. Finally, she relents with a sigh, though the look she gives you says this conversation is far from over. “Alright, I’ll go see what she needs. But we’re not done talking about this, Joel,” she says, her voice carrying an edge that makes your skin crawl, before turning on her heel and striding away.

As soon as she’s out of earshot, Joel exhales a long breath. He extends you one more polite nod and jumps into the truck without another word. You don’t like the feeling it gives you, not one bit.

Before you can dwell too much in your thoughts, you hear your mom’s voice calling your name, and you turn to see her motioning for you to join her. Here comes the earful.

With a resigned sigh, you make your way over to her, bracing for the inevitable.

“Sweetheart,” she begins in a voice that’s both sugar and vinegar, “you really shouldn’t interrupt when adults are talking. It’s important to know your place.”

You nod, biting back the retort on the tip of your tongue. “I know, Mom. I just thought you might want to check on Mrs. Calloway.”

She narrows her eyes, as if trying to read your mind. “If you go around behaving like a heathen, it reflects poorly on me. You’d do well to remember that.”

You stare back at her, head high and an unfaltering cool facade. She used to intimidate you, this tone used to make you feel so small and insignificant, but it doesn’t anymore. Hasn’t for a good while now. “Got it,” you reply, forcing a smile. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

#dbf!joel #dbf!joel miller #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #tlou joel #joel x reader #joel miller #joel tlou #Hidden embers

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chryblossomjjk · 2 years ago

Text

midnight mistakes | jjk

⇢ PAIRING: fuckboy!jk x inexperienced reader

⇢ RATING: m/18+

⇢ WC: 2.5k

⇢ WARNINGS: v brief sm*t, v slight angst, oc is sick rip, pregnancy scare putting their relationship to the test eep!!!, brief mentions of abortion (reader considers it)

⇢ SUMMARY: a midnight romp with jungkook leads to tears on your cheeks and a pregnancy test in your hand

⇢ NOTES: i miss writing sm so here's a lil drabble of our otp :') school has been v overwhelming lately and it makes me so sad that i don't have as much time to write on here anymore. hopefully, things will calm down soon. for now, enjoy this crumb!! i love you all, let me know what you think!! if you haven't read the series yet, pls read that before this if u want to!! this wasn't beta'd so i apologize for any grammar issues or typos rip

⇢ SERIES MASTERLIST

The sequence of events that landed you in this situation; having a teary, heaving breakdown in front of your bathroom mirror, was absolutely ridiculous, to say the least.

“I’m gonna kill someone,” you squeak, breathless from the endless stream of sneezes ripping through you. The glow of the alarm clock on your nightstand reads 1 a.m. as you reach for a tissue. Violently blowing your nose does little to ease its congestion. With a shaky sigh, you crumple the sodden napkin and toss it into the bin beside your bed; overthrown by contents alike. The wet ball hits the paper mountain before rolling onto your pretty pink area rug.

You shiver, how fucking disgusting.

A stressful week of labs and quizzes has tanked your immune system, making you susceptible to all the little germs and illnesses that strike when the brisk winter air transitions into the pollen-laced breeze of spring. The antibiotics you were prescribed did little to help your runny nose and sore throat. Pausing the anime playing on your phone, you open your messages.

dumbo love you, get some rest please xx

So much for getting rest. You weren’t expecting a text back. Jungkook had offered to spend the night, but you encouraged him to go. It was his last semester after all. Still, you were pouty and needy, wanting nothing more than to snuggle into his arms and let the swirls of his delicate fingers on your back lull you to sleep. Instead, here you were, confined to your bed, watching Naruto solo as Jungkook, Tae, and Mina lived it up; taking shots until they were belligerent.

A distinguishable knock rattles the door before you can press play again.

“What are you doing here?”

Jungkook stands in your doorway, oversized black tee hanging over his equally oversized green cargo pants. His cute little mullet falls in sweaty loops around his face. “Still feelin’ like shit?” He coos, cringing at your disheveled appearance and the croak in your voice. Ignoring your question, he holds up the various items in his big hands. “I picked up a few things; cough drops—not the cherry kind ‘cause those are fucking nasty,” you laugh at the side note, “—extra spicy ramen and hot sauce to clear out your sinuses.”

Your peer at the array of remedies with wide eyes. Their ability to cure your flu symptoms is questionable. You don’t even have a way of boiling water to make said ramen in your cramped dorm, but the sentiment has your chest swelling with something other than a violent cough for the first time in days. Abruptly, you pull him into a tight embrace.

“Ah, I see,” he laughs, wrapping an arm around the small of your back and walking you back into the room, kicking the door closed behind him. “My Bambi missed me.”

“I did,” you nuzzle into him further, “but you shouldn’t be here… you should be having fun with your friends.”

“Nah, fuck ‘em,” he retorts playfully, putting the quote-unquote medicine down and then plopping onto the bed, taking you with him. “Besides, what kind of shit boyfriend ditches their sick girlfriend to go to a party anyways?”

“The kind that should be enjoying his last semester,” you frown.

“I am, though. I enjoy spending time with you more than anything else.”

As he lays under you, black tresses splayed against your white comforter like a misshapen halo, you feel so incredibly lucky. Gently, you run your fingers through his choppy bangs, pushing them out of his doe eyes. “Have you been drinking?”

“Not really, just a couple shots of Fireball and a few beers.” That much alcohol would have knocked you on your lightweight ass, but after years of beer pong and keg stands, Jungkook’s tolerance was damn near Kage level. It took a lot more than that to get him drunk. “I kinda…” he averts your gaze, something he does when he’s sad or guilty. “I felt really bad so I left.”

“Jungkook, I told you it was okay.”

“I know,” he nods, sliding a warm palm under your shirt, rubbing his thumb against your skin in soothing lines. “But I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Using your fingertip, you brush an eyelash off the apple of his cheek. “Thank you… for coming back for me.”

“Of course, Bambi.” He leans up and presses a deep kiss to your dehydrated lips.

“Kook, stop,” you mumble, craning your neck back. “You’re gonna get sick.”

“I don’t care.”

It doesn’t take much convincing. If Jungkook doesn’t care, why should you?

What follows is a battle of warm tongues and the needy clash of his bunny teeth against yours. Tender touches coax your Sailor Moon pajama set to the floor with the promise of Jungkook’s delicious love. Before you know it, you’re sinking down onto his hard length, fingers digging into his shoulders as he slouches against your headboard.

“Take it all,” he whispers, jaw slacking as he tilts his head down, getting a clear view of your wet cunt swallowing the remaining few inches. A slick film coats the two fingers he used to hold himself up for you as your lip pillow around the base. “Yeah, just like that.” His face contorts in pleasure, overcome by your warm, slippery walls after a week of illness-induced celibacy. “Feels good, huh baby? Tell me how good my dick makes you feel.”

He wants praise and dirty talk, but the tickle in your nose makes you pause, bracing yourself as a slew of sneezes pours out of you. Eight sneezes to be exact. Jungkook’s high-pitched cackle is drowned out by a shriek as you cup your hand over your leaking nostrils. “EW!”

“Shut up, it’s fine!” He grabs a tissue from the nearly empty box. “Lemme see,” he mumbles, pulling your hand down and wiping it clean, then doing the same to your face afterward and tossing the kleenex in your glittery pink trash bin.

“I’m sorry,” you peep, completely mortified.

“Don’t worry.” The crooked bunny grin eases your nerves. “That was fire, actually. You clenched around me so tight.”

You squint at him and then bury your head into the crook of his neck. You make love to each other; slow and gentle. At one point, Jungkook locks his tattooed fingers in between yours, pecking your bare shoulder as lazy drags of your hips bring you both to writhing climaxes. And he looks so beautiful when he climaxes, gnawing at his lip piercing, skin dewy from sweat and the moonlight shining through the blinds.

At that moment, you felt nothing but love and pure ecstasy.

Isn’t it funny how pleasures of the past can create complete devastation in the present?

Clutching the edge of the porcelain sink, you stare down at the pink box of pregnancy tests. There’s tear stains on your cheeks. A pain in your lungs from all the sobbing. You wish Jungkook had been a shit boyfriend that night. You’d give anything to take it all back.

Like a sixth sense, there’s a distinguishable knock at the door.

“Hey, I-” he stops short, brows furrowing as his dark pupils scan your face. “Have you been crying?”

“What do you think?” You shouldn’t snap at him, but the waves of anxiety washing over you make you highly sensitive. Truthfully, you weren’t going to tell Jungkook any of this. His showing up had put an awful wrench in your plans. Well, unless the test came back positive. Then, you’d be forced to tell him. You clamp your hand over your mouth, the thought making you sick to your stomach.

“__, take a deep breath. Sit down.” You do and he follows suit. “What's going on?”

“I-” you gulp, swallowing back a whine, struggling to form a coherent sentence. There’s no escape, you have to confess. “I think I might be pregnant.”

There’s an eerie silence once the words hit the air, lingering over you both like a dark, dreary cloud. It takes Jungkook a moment to internalize the weight of the situation, but you can tell when the thunder strikes. The pink tinge in his cheeks fades to a stark, sickly white as he inhales shakily. “Fuck-” Leaning his elbows against his knees, he digs the heels of his palms into his eyes, shielding them. “I thought you were on the pill.”

“I am, but I was taking antibiotics last week and I read that they can make birth control less effective- and I’ve been having symptoms lately.” It all comes out in a jumbled mess like word vomit. He doesn’t respond. He doesn’t move. And it scares you. “Are you mad at me?”

“No.” Despite his posture, his tone is still and calm. “I just… don’t know what to say. It’s a lot to take in.”

“I’m sorry,” you whisper as the floodgates finally burst. You were still in the swell of your STEM program. Jungkook is just about to graduate with a Bachelor’s in photography. Both of your lives would come to a screeching halt if the worst were true. You weren’t ready for a baby, not in the slightest. “I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, hey, don’t-.” Finally, Jungkook sits up, wrapping a strong arm around your shoulder and pulling you into his side. The other arm repeats as he rests his chin on top of your head, rocking your shaking frame back and forth for comfort. “Don’t apologize, don’t cry. Why don’t you take a test before we start freaking the fuck out?”

You suppose he’s right.

The walk to the bathroom is a blur. Suddenly, you’re on the toilet with that evil stick in hand. Jungkook is sitting on the floor with his eyes closed, knees bent and head leaned back against the wood of the cabinet. Normally, you’re extremely pee-shy. It literally will not come out. Under these circumstances, you can’t bring yourself to care.

“You pee so softly,” Jungkook says through an airy laugh. “I pee really hard- and fast. Like-” he makes a little whooshing noise with his mouth, “like a hose.”

“Baby, please,” you huff, setting the test aside and pulling your sweats up. You know he’s trying to ease your nerves, but this is one situation where his lighthearted jokes and comments ceased to make you smile. “This is serious.”

“Trust me, I know.” Spreading his legs, he pats the carpet between them. “C’mere.” As soon as you hit the ground he’s embracing you, trailing kisses all over your exposed skin. “What now?”

“Now,” you sigh, setting a timer on your phone for three minutes, “we wait.”

“You know… it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if it’s positive.”

“It would be absolutely awful, Jungkook.” It’s a sweet sentiment but you know he’s lying, right through his bunny teeth. Late-night conversations in bed about the future ring in your head. ‘Honestly, I don’t think I want kids,’ Jungkook had hummed in the middle of My Neighbor Totoro, ‘ever.’ Generally, you felt the same way, but the memory is terrifying in this context; sitting on the bathroom floor with him, waiting for an answer that could contradict all of your plans and possibly crumble the entire foundation of your relationship.

“Who am I kidding?” He chuckles humorlessly. “You’re right, it would be fucking awful.”

Nervously, you toy with the silver rings on his inked fingers. “What if it’s positive, Jungkook?”

“Let’s just wait until we get the results.”

“But what if it’s positive?” You twist in his arms, showing him your glassy eyes and deep frown. Showing him that his answer, regardless of what the test says, was very important to you.

He blinks at you, lips opening and then closing promptly as he mulls over his words. “If it is… then we’ll take care of it.”

There’s a dual meaning to the sentiment that makes you chew on your bottom lip, eyes flickering up to the white ceiling to stop yourself from crying. Take care of it as in going through with it? Or take care of it as in… the other option? Honestly, the latter would be your first choice, and you’re sure it’s his as well. But for whatever reason, the fact that he assumed it makes your heart ache. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means whatever you want it to mean.” Gently, he smooths a hand over your trembling thighs before they frantically search for yours. “Just… whatever you want to do… whatever you want, I’ll support it… I’m here.”

A breath you hadn’t realized you were holding in releases in relief. You feel stupid for even questioning him. After all these months of unconditional love, you should know better. Bringing your locked hands up, you kiss his fingertips. The smile it brings out of him is just as soft as your touch. “I love you so much.”

“I love y-.”

He’s cut off by the blaring ring of your timer.

“Please, can you look?” You mumble, shaking your head and covering your eyes. “I can’t do it.”

You feel his torso twist against your back as he reaches for the test on your countertop. The time between him grabbing it and the dreaded answer feels like an eternity.

“Negative.”

“Thank fuck!” You groan, doing a complete 180 and wrapping your arms around his neck in celebration. You haven’t felt this type of excitement since you were a child, waking up on Christmas morning and seeing colorful presents under the tree.

“What made you think you were pregnant in the first place?”

You hesitate to respond. In retrospect, it’s not as valid of a reason as you originally thought. “I’ve been feeling sick in the morning.”

Pulling back, Jungkook deadpans you. “Bambi, no shit. You’ve been sick all week.”

“I know but,” you pout, twirling a ringlet at the nape of his neck, “google said I could be pregnant…”

“You’re so fucking lucky you’re cute,” he laughs, holding you flush to him and nipping your cheek playfully. “You’ve got to be the most dramatic person I’ve ever met in my life.” You know he’s joking, but the comment makes your expression drop a bit. “But that’s part of the reason I love you so much. I’m never bored with you.”

Once again, you truly don’t know how you got so lucky.

“Alright,” he huffs, using all of his strength to haul you up into the air and walk you back to your bedroom. Instinctually and habitually, you wrap your legs around his cinched waist. “We finished Avatar last time, so what’re we watching tonight?”

You click your tongue in contemplation. “Naruto.”

“Naruto? Bambi, isn’t Naruto like- a billion episodes long?”

When he tosses you down onto the mattress, you pout and bat your long lashes at him, pulling out all the provenly successful manipulation tactics. “Please?”

“Fine,” he grumbles, plopping down beside you. “But don’t be mad if I knock out.”

And like clockwork, Jungkook dozes off in the middle of the second episode, but that’s okay, because despite how horrible the pregnancy scare was, it truly solidified Jungkook’s presence in your life. You have all the time in the world to watch hours and hours of subpar filler episodes, and you’ll do it happily as long as you’re with him.

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pestorik · 5 months ago

Note

Hello! Can you give some crumbs on Trey in the twst adventure time AU? I love his concept so much and I want to hear more on it even if it isn’t a lot 💚

-Starved Trey fan looking for crumbs :>

i aim to please, anon!

there would be an episode where garden prince, ace, and deuce all go to treys house for a sleepover, in an effort for GP to live out all the childhood experiences he never got to have bc of his mother. it is then revealed trey snores like a hibernating grizzly bear and the rest of them are unable to sleep so they stay up all night playing party games.

treys employees seen in the character art are: spike the potted plant, marigold the bird, cay cay the carrot (i wonder who named him), and dan the durian. in one episode dan the durian gets broken open and smells so bad that he drives away customers and trey guiltily puts him on leave until his shell grows back. cue dan storyline where he wanders Ooo searching for a way to mask his stench.

it is revealed at some point that he has an entire armory hidden under his bakery, which he seems embarrassed of.

garden prince at one point coerces him into taking up the position of a knight in service of the garden kingdom. trey considers himself a pacifist (he's not, its just an excuse to not get involved) so he's very reluctant. he spends the entire episode walking around the kingdom looking for knight stuff to do, at the end of which he and GP agree that the garden kingdom doesnt really have any threats and he goes back to his bakery.

people think cater was the one who ended their relationship bc he cant handle commitment but really it was a lot more complicated on both ends. most ppl dont know the full details, including riddle, who is wary of cater bc he thinks he hurt trey. cater and trey remain awkward friends without ever addressing the elephant in the room, lowkey avoiding each other.

has a weird friendship w rook, nobody understands it not even trey. rook stops by at extremely inconvenient times asking for favors. there isnt any obvious reason for the favor (a carton of eggs, a sack of flour, etc) and trey doesnt ask questions. in exchange rook doesnt cause problems for him.

recruited deuce to deliver for him bc he knew deuce was trying to be a better person and felt like having a job would help him. ace also frequently calls him to get them out of trouble, he's like their big brother who has to pay their bail.

his parents are retired and he took over the bakery from them.

at one point he has to visit a neighboring kingdom to get some special ingredients. he doesnt usually travel so needs transportation. cater offers a ride on his skateboard but trey doesnt like heights so ace and deuce let him borrow their caterpillar. entire episode is him not knowing how to direct the caterpillar and it takes him through the woods where he gets beat up by nature and does not get his ingredients.

that's all i got for now! give me enough time and there will eventually be more

#twst at #ask #anon #trey clover

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abiiors · 10 months ago

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Do you have any plans to write smut ? 👀👀. I'm starving and begging for a crumb

.ೃ࿐ the jeweller's hands

(wrote this on my phone and it’s not proofed, sorry!!!)

cw: cheating, mean matty

“keep it down or i’ll fucking stop,” matty growls in your ear the moment your back hits the wall.

fifteen minutes. that’s how long you lasted before seeking him out in the crowd—a risky fucking business considering you’re attending this stupid little charity gala with your husband in the first place.

regardless, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

not that you’re even thinking about him right now… the man you came here with is the absolute last thing on your mind. your thoughts wander—first to matty in a suit, to his sleeves straining over his biceps and the way he wears no tie to this formal event. his shirt collar is open too, tattoos peeking out surrounded by a fine dusting of hair that’s gone slightly grey now, just like the grey in his curls.

he’s a vision. and now he’s here. inches away. trapping you between him and the wall and grinding his pelvis against yours in a way that makes it very clear what he’s here for.

matty hand tightens on your hips.

“here?”

“oh, don’t act coy with me now.”

his voice drops down to a harsh whisper, voice full of venom and lust but he only steps closer and the heat in your belly burns hotter.

so what if this is wrong…

“didn’t think about that when you were making fuck me eyes at me out there, did you?”

no. you didn’t.

but he can chase you a bit more.

“someone’s going to hear us,” you all but purr in his ear, niping at his earlobe. matty’s hold on you tightens and suddenly there’s not enough air in this fancy, marbled bathroom.

“then you’re just going to have to shut up and take it like a good little slut, yeah?”

there’s no way you would ever let anyone else speak this way to you. but matty is older, matty knows what he’s doing. matty, with his calloused hands and a fallen angel face knows how to make your blood sing.

he is the only one that gets a pass.

“strip,” he orders and takes a small step back.

you can’t help the small choked sound of protest that leaves you but then there he is again, spinning you around and undoing the zip of your dress before you can make another sound.

“can you step out of your dress on your own?” his mouth lowers to your ears, warm breath cascading down your cheeks, lips brushing against your skin ever so slightly. “it won’t be pretty if i have to do it, love. it might end up on the floor in tatters.”

you swallow harshly and nod just once.

he’s on you the moment the dress pools around your feet and you stand there, back pressed to the wall in just a thong. you don’t miss the way his eyes hungrily take you in—the curve of your hips and up to your stomach. then to your tits.

of course, his eyes linger there—on your peaked nippes and then up to your neck. you resist the urge to squirm under his gaze.

“are you just gonna stand there and watch me?”

matty clicks his tongue.

“you’ve gotten bold, haven’t you?”

“only because you’ve gone soft,” you taunt. it has the effect you want it to have.

matty crashes his lips against yours before you’re even properly done speaking. it’s a furious kiss—teeth clashing together on impact, your lipstick smeared all over your mouth. this isn’t a soft kiss. it’s not a lovers’ kiss.

this is a kiss that stings.

“that what you think?” he speaks when he takes a moment to breathe and your heart leaps in your throat. oh he sounds angry. the kind of anger that he’s about to take out on you…

“we’ll have to change that won’t we…”

“we—fuck!”

you feel a sharp sting as matty pinches your nipple between his fingers, taking advantage of the piercing, digging the cold metal further into your skin until your legs start shaking. wildfire runs through your blood, burning away any sane thought in its way, leaving you with just desire and lust and complete abandon.

“what was that? couldn’t hear you that well…”

this time you don’t try.

“please–shit! please, matty!” you whine, trying to clench your thighs together, but he pushes his knee between them, his body holding yours against the wall.

the bathroom somehow seems smaller now, hotter than it was before. the only thing between you and someone else walking in is a flimsy locked door.

anyone could knock. anyone could—

“you’re thinking,” he tuts. he’s right though. you are thinking…

good thing he’s right there to fuck you dumb.

“good little sluts don’t overthink,” his fingers hook harshly into the waistband of your thong and you already know what’s coming next.

a ripping sound echoes in the room and your thong falls to the floor, ripped to shreds.

“gonna send you back to your husband with my cum dripping down your thighs, darling, that what you want? hmm?” his words swirl around your brain at a dizzying pace making you nod involuntarily.

that is what you want… to feel him so deep inside you that you won’t forget it for days. to have your lungs full of his cologne. to have your fingers shoved so deep in your mouth that you’d gag around them.

your heart pounds in your entire body as you help matty undo his belt with shaky fingers. he’s already so hard under your touch, groaning as you palm him first through his trousers and then through his boxers.

fuck. for a moment you wonder what he would taste like. if he would let you if you just dropped to your knees right here. but the desperation to feel him inside, hitting the spot over and over again, has you drooling.

“spread your legs,” he whispers roughly and his fingers find your clit.

lazily, he swipes through your folds and collects some of the wetness making you hiss in pleasure. your eyes roll to the back of your head—this is what it should feel like always, no thoughts, just him and his hands and—

without warning you feel the tip of his cock entering you and you bite onto his shouder, desperate to keep the screams in.

“matty—”

but his mouth is on yours once again, swallowing every moan and scream and hiss of pleasure as he pounds into you mercilessly.

his hips slam into yours at a bruising pace; urgent and desperate, like he can’t get enough. it’s feverish even, almost as if you might slip away if he lets go even just a little. matty lets out a string of curses between each kiss.

somewhere in the back of your mind, you know your lips will be swollen and red by the time you’re done. you know you’ll have to find some way to look put together before going out again. but right now you don’t care… not when your entire body is full of ecstacy. not when matty makes you feel so so good.

sooner or later it will end, your mind reminds you. it will end and you’ll have to gather yourself and go out and play good little wife to a man you barely care about.

it will end and you will go your separate ways only to find each other again in some shady corner or some brightly lit bathroom at some pretentious event…

matty’s breath hitches when you clench around him.

the feeling in your spine is overwhelming—the tingles, the little electric jolts, the bursts of pleasure that build and build until the knot inside your stomach tightens impossibly fast.

“matty—gonna cum–please…”

“feel so good, darling,” he replies. a rare praise coming from him but it intensifies the dizziness, the bloodrush. “let me feel you,” he coaxes. this time, his voice comes out much softer, almost…tender.

“cum for me,” he speaks and pulls your thighs higher over his hip. suddenly he’s reaching so much deeper, hitting the spot harder and the trembling in your body increases tenfold.

your legs spasm, barely holding you upright and a wave of pleasure crashes over you.

the next time you open your eyes, matty’s face is contorted with pleasure, eyes half-lidded, jaw slack, adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows harshly and you feel the warmth of his cum dripping out of your cunt and down your thigh. exactly what he’d promised.

if you look down, you’ll find his hands imprinted on your hips—red marks in the shape of his fingers that will no doubt bruise in the next couple of days. something of his for you to hold on to, long after he leaves. a welcome sting.

he does look down when he opens his eyes—looks down at the way your bodies are joined together, how your legs part around him, how your body fits into the crevices of his so perfectly. he almost smiles then but shakes his head slightly.

you expect him to say something, anything that would fill in the silence.

you were good, darling.

you were amazing.

come home with me.

he says none of those things. silently, matty zips us his trousers and fixes his belt. then he brings his thumb to your chin, softly wiping away the lipstick stains, up to your thumb so he can do the same there.

his eyes remain trained to your lips but you suspect it’s more cowardice this time than lust.

“get dressed,” matty speaks and his voice comes out brittle, devoid of feelings. “don’t want your husband to come looking for you.”

and then he steps away, as if none of this ever really happened.

#SORRY THIS SORTA TURNED INTO ANGST AT THE END DON’T HATE ME #✉️#♤: matty blurbs #matty healy x reader #minors do not interact

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hiorintruther · 6 months ago

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An Updated ‘Reasons Why I Ship Hiorin’ — Because It’s Been Ages Since I Made The First One And I’ve Had More Thoughts (and we got more moments!)

Aka: can you tell this ship makes me mentally unwell?

Hi again! It’s been a while. I did make one of these long posts a while back outlining why I choose to ship hiorin even though they’ve barely interacted and on the surface don’t look like they’d make sense at all. Since then, hiorin has gained quite a few shippers in the fandom and I keep thinking about the ship, especially with the Bastard Munchen vs PXG game FINALLY giving us some new crumbs. Unsurprisingly, ever since making the first post I’ve also had a lot more ideas about the dynamic, its potential, some more connections between them that I never touched on before, etc… and rather than editing the other post I thought it would be easier to just make a new one.

Some stuff I go over here might be familiar from the first post. I want this to be a kind of hub for any and all of my hiorin interpretations, analysis, trivia, headcanons, ‘theories’ (which I don’t think will be canon but the narrative potential for them is through the roof) and anything else I think is relevant to the ship. Feel free to jump around and read whatever is most interesting for you. Hiorin is a ship that, for me, is built on mountains of untapped potential. I just want to bring that potential to light all in one place.

Note: for this post I’ll only use information that has been written by Kaneshiro, drawn by Nomura or Sanomiya, or has otherwise been green-lit by Kaneshiro as canon. Merch collabs, voice actor QnAs, the PWC game etc… for me do not count as canon and I won’t use them. Also, the 10-image limit is biting my ass so my formatting for certain bits might be a bit all over the place. Apologies.

So without further ado. Let’s start! Enjoy the yap sesh!

Part 1 — The Manga Canon

Hiorin get their (very sparse and brief) interactions mostly from the Third Selection Arc (chapters 87-108) and the U20 arc (chapters 109-151). We’re also recently getting some new moments in the BM vs PXG match (chapters 250-present).

First off: the tryouts. It’s implied here that Hiori and Rin have never met, as Hiori notices Isagi’s response to Rin and asks if Isagi knows who Rin is. Rin also doesn’t acknowledge Hiori in any way here, so we can presume they’re strangers (although some shippers like to headcanon that they met during the first selection).

That being said during the match, after Isagi has been thoroughly shut down by Karasu, Rin turns his attention to Hiori as a teammate to help him get the ball up the field. Rin has never seen Hiori play before (as far as we know). They’ve never even talked. They’re barely getting familiar with each other’s play styles. And yet, they immediately link up to form a clean back and forth that optimises Rin’s play style. In fact, this duo helps Rin score 1 goal, and it would have helped Rin score 2 had Shidou not rudely interrupted the second.

It’s so deadly that Otoya has to intervene specifically to break them up, so that they can no longer continue their one-two passes up the field and threaten to go for another goal. (Also notice in this page below how as soon as the kickoff happens, Hiori is already running into position in the background. He understands what Rin wants to do).

Not only did Hiori and Rin naturally form a link-up, but Hiori was also fully capable of keeping up with Rin, something Nanase admitted he struggled with during this match and even Isagi was struggling with as well, since later on we see Isagi fail to intercept one of Hiori’s passes due to not being able to reach it in time (which presumably Rin would have been able to were he in Isagi’s position). So, from what we see of Hiori and Rin in this match, they’re on a similar wavelength in terms of skills, field vision and gameplay, and are naturally able to link up even as strangers. I’ll note here that neither of them were playing at full power — Hiori was playing on 0 motivation, and Rin was still utilising his Puppeteer play style instead of his Destroyer. More on this later in the ‘Headcanons’ section.

After the Tryouts, we next see them interact in the U20 match. We start with a brief callback to their tryouts link up in chapter 132, where Rin passes to Hiori. Hiori is acting as a relay between Isagi and Rin, which in my opinion would be a good way to utilise him after the NEL. Whether or not that’s how Kaneshiro chooses to use him in the future is anyone’s guess though.

The next big moment comes in chapter 140, after Shidou has kicked Rin in the face and the game has briefly paused. I think this is by far the most ‘iconic’ hiorin moment. While Isagi is analysing the previous play and Karasu is arguing with the ref, Hiori is the only one who actually checks on Rin. Even Bachira and Reo were right next to Rin and neither of them go to him. Hiori was further down the field but he moved to help Rin first. Not only is he gentle with and worried for Rin, but by some miracle Rin actually accepts his help! It feels almost out of character, given how angry Rin is for the rest of the match, but for this very brief moment he lets Hiori help him up and reassures him that he’s ‘fine’ (yeah sure buddy…).

For many this is the main ‘ooooooh’ moment with hiorin. But what if I told you it actually happens a second time this match? After Aiku goes rogue in chapter 142 and tries to score a goal, Rin ends up slide-tackling him to prevent it. And once again, if you look in the background of the panels following the interception in chapter 143, who is it helping Rin stand? It’s Hiori. And this time they actually hold hands!

The final hiorin moment in the U20 match comes soon after this in chapter 144, when Rin is about to enter his Destroyer mode. When Rin enters Destroyer mode, Hiori is in possession of the ball and so Rin steals it from him in a completely unpredictable move that had everyone stunned.

The U20 match moments, for many of us hiorin shippers, felt like the last time we’d ever see them properly interact. I at least had zero hopes for PXG. But oh boy was I wrong! Kaneshiro might not realise the dynamic he’s setting up with this duo but I’m gonna milk every interaction for what they’re worth! And so with that, I’ll bring you to the BM vs PXG match (note: currently still ongoing, so I’ll update this section as we get more moments). Since the U20 match, we’ve had some changes. The biggest one is Hiori’s personality. After going through his arc in Ubers, Hiori has become more outspoken and confident, playing into his ‘Ultra-Sadist’ style and being more than happy to speak his mind. He’s more argumentative and can whip up a good piece of trash talk (my gamer boy fr!). We see this on full display in chapter 251 when he completely shuts down Rin’s goal opportunity because Rin was too focussed on Isagi to see the bigger picture of the match. Hiori turns around, points at Rin, and tells him “if ya want a goal… come at me with an unpredictable script!”

Notice here how he isn’t simply putting Rin down for not being able to score. Hiori may be taunting Rin, perhaps getting over-confident, but he does still technically give Rin helpful advice. In a previous panel he explains how he was able to read Rin because Rin was too focussed on Isagi, and in combination with Hiori’s ‘unpredictable script’ line it forms some rather blunt and rude but nevertheless useful advice. Hiori is telling Rin exactly how to get past him and what Rin needs to do to improve. Notice the focus on unpredictability. I personally think this is a line foreshadowing Rin’s Destroyer mode, even if Hiori himself is unaware of it. Even if it’s not foreshadowing, Hiori’s advice is reasonable and Rin should listen to it.

The next moment we have of them together is from chapter 259, where Hiori is aided by Raichi to block Rin in a 2-person press, causing Rin to lose the ball. From a purely indulgent, shipping perspective, notice how Hiori’s and Rin’s legs are touching, their hands are on each other’s chests and they’re looking at each other. Raichi is just there lol.

Next we have chapter 270, where Rin has started to awaken his Destroyer and is barrelling his way through BM’s various players. Hiori is one of the players Rin gets past with ease. Rin gets past him with a rainbow flick, to which Hiori acknowledges Rin awakening by saying ‘he is good’. Note here that he is the only player on BM’s side to get actual dialogue in response to Rin overpowering them.

And as of right now, the latest interaction comes from chapter 273. Rin has entered Destroyer mode and has completely overwhelmed Hiori. Isagi actually says in this chapter that Rin has become someone he can’t analyse, a completely unreadable beast of a player. I think this means the ‘unpredictable script’ Hiori spoke of truly is the Destroyer, and Rin has finally been able to get past Hiori with it.

This may be it for their canon interactions, however it’s far from all the canon information we have about them that’s interesting for the dynamic. A big part of the hiorin ship is about looking at their individual information and drawing together similarities and/or parallels. While on the surface they seem very different, almost opposites, digging a little deeper reveals a lot of small coincidences about them that build up to make you realise that they’re a lot more similar than you might initially think.

Part 2 — Where Hiori and Rin Align

Analytical players. Both of them are capable of deeply analytical play styles that utilises field vision and high levels of technical skills. This way of playing doesn’t rely on brute strength or pure intimidation to get through the opponents’ defence, rather analysis, playing with and overcoming their opponents with strategy and out-playing their opponents with sheer levels of skill. This similarity is likely what led to them to be able to so easily link up when they first met. Rin is however also capable of being the Destroyer, which leads me to my second point below.

Sadism. Both are known sadists. Rin’s Destroyer mode is particularly sadistic, aiming to destroy in every way to the point where he will give up goal opportunities to destroy even more. In general, he revels in being at the top, destroying others under him. He’s open with his insults and destroys chaotically, looking for breaks in his opponents’ defence and completely tearing them down until there’s no hope of his opponents winning. Meanwhile Hiori is a self-proclaimed “ultra-sadist”. After his arc, he enjoys watching his opponents scramble to try and keep up with him only to be destroyed by his top-tier plays, especially in a ‘best play’ scenario with his chosen striker of the moment. He’s also not loyal to any one striker and will leave them behind if they’re not playing up to his standards or goal vision. Hiori’s sadism also manifests as him teasing his friends, as we see in chapter 241 when he jokingly teases Isagi for getting shipped with Kaiser by BLTV fans.

Sae connections. Rin’s connections to Sae are obvious, since they’re brothers and Sae is the cornerstone of Rin’s character arc. Hiori also has connections to Sae though. He’s been compared to Sae twice in-universe, once by Sendou in chapter 129 who said his passes had the same level of skill as Sae’s, and once by Yukimiya in chapter 241 who thinks Hiori’s ultra-sadist mindset is similar to Sae’s. In the Egoist Bible 2, Hiori states that he admires Sae as a player when answering the question ‘who has the best crossing skills’.

Replacements. In Rin’s light novel, he tells Sae that once Sae is gone, he’ll “find a replacement”. In chapter 239, Hiori tells Isagi that he won’t just be loyal to Isagi and will happily replace him with another striker should they be in a better position for Hiori’s vision.

They’re both gamers. Obviously we know Hiori is one. That’s been a big part of his character ever since we first met him. In his Egoist Bible profile, he states that he plays many genres, from JRPGs to rhythm games. However, Rin also plays video games, specifically horror games. We get this info from both the Egoist Bible and his prequel light novel, where it explains that he plays horror games to de-stress at night: (chapter 2) “… even games, should be chilling and scary. Playing horror games alone at night is quite thrilling”.

Horror, gore and zombies. As well as playing horror games to de-stress, it’s explained in the Egoist Bible and Rin’s light novel that he watches horror movies for the same reason: (chapter 2) “When he’s done, he watches a horror movie and then goes to bed. This is his daily routine. For some reason, since Sae has been gone, he only watches horror movies. Movies, videos …”. The light novel slightly expands on this to specify that he enjoys splatter films, as well as showing an illustration of him watching rather a gory zombie movie: (chapter 4) “Lately, he's been into splatter films. The one where a killer comes out with an electric saw and a big-ass ax, then blood splatters all over the place. The one where a killer chases you no matter how hard you try to escape, and if you get caught, you end up being dismembered. His heart is pounding, but he’s not the type to show on his face, so Rin watching the slaughter scene without any expression on his face is much more horrifying”. Likewise, Hiori is shown in chapter 206 playing a zombie shooter in which he imagines the zombies becoming his parents and he violently kills them. We see his inner monologue of this in his prequel light novel, showing the depths of how much he wants them to suffer: (chapter 6) “Before he knew it, in his imagination, his parents became zombies. His father and mother are coming towards him, laughing. He shoots without hesitation. Bang! Headshot. The bullet that entered the father's jaw blew off the back of his head. Bang! Bang! His mother's eyeballs pop out and there's a hole in her chest. He aims for vital spots with rapid fire, but they don't fall easily because they're zombies”. His Egoist Bible also confirms that he plays Dead By Daylight, which is a multiplayer horror game. Bonus point: Hiori’s favourite movie, Ready Player One, features an important series of scenes where the main characters have to explore a replica of the hotel from The Shining. The Shining is Rin’s favourite movie.

Solitude. Rin is ranked as the most anti-social member of Blue Lock in the Egoist Bible. He says he “doesn’t have time for lukewarm conversations” (although I do think on some level he longs for approval and love from someone, given how much he craves his brother’s attention). He is also one of the only characters who genuinely has no friends in Blue Lock. He tolerated Bachira for a time and trained Nanase begrudgingly, but no one is very close with him at all. Now, at a glance Hiori might seem far more social. He has a lot of friends and seems to enjoy hanging out with them. However, in his Egoist Bible entry it was revealed that his ideal type in a romantic partner is “someone who can leave me alone”. The wording he used — 放置し合えるん — seems to imply a reciprocal nature of this ‘leaving alone’, ie ‘you leave me alone, I’ll leave you alone’. Now tell me that arrangement wouldn’t work perfectly for Rin? Hiori is also shown in chapter 172 (which is before his character arc) spending time alone in the BM dorms while the others are out training. Furthermore, in Karasu’s ‘a day in Blue Lock’ in The Egoist Bible 2, he states that he and Hiori were in the communal bath together but did not talk or interact, and this was fine. While Hiori can enjoy socialising, he also needs plenty of time to himself to the point where it becomes a deal-breaker in a relationship for him.

Fetish. Hiori’s fetish according to the Egoist Bible is ‘fractured girl fetish’ and seems to refer to seeing injuries bandaged up (given that the actress he uses as an example wears a cast on her arm in the movie he’s referencing). Out of all the characters in Blue Lock, Rin is the one we’ve seen get injured multiple times, and in chapter 271 it was confirmed that this is a part of his nature. This was a part of him that was disapproved of by his parents and classmates, so Hiori actually liking it would be a massive relief.

Ochazuke (tea on rice). Rin’s favourite food according to the Egoist Bible is ochazuke, specifically taichazuke. In the Episode Rin extra chapter we see him going to enjoy some taichazuke at a traditional restaurant because he was hungry for ochazuke. When Hiori was asked in the Egoist Bible 2 what his favourite accompaniment for rice is, he replied that it’s the ochazuke brand Nagatanien.

Stripes. Rin’s casual outfits for both the Shibuya collab (designed by Nomura) and Episode Rin feature a striped/ribbed pattern. Likewise, Hiori’s casual pyjamas, childhood design and one of Nomura’s coaster designs feature him wearing striped clothing.

Egoist Bible rankings. In the Egoist Bible 2, they were ranked first and second most likely to have psychic powers. Hiori was also voted the best listener, meanwhile Rin was voted the worst.

Eyelashes. Both of them have long lashes. That’s kinda it for this one lol.

Water connections. Hiori’s favourite season is the rainy season and he has been referred to as ‘water coloured’ in the manga due to his hair colour (it means ‘cyan’ in Japanese — see point 14). Rin’s aura is water and he is regularly connected to the sea in his hometown of Kamakura.

Name kanji (yes, I’m in this deep). In Rin’s surname, the kanji 糸 means ‘thread/yarn’. In Hiori’s surname, the kanji 織 means ‘weaver’. Both of them have kanji relating to weaving, likely in relation to both Rin’s Puppeteer play style (and Sae’s insane control of the midfield), and Hiori’s way of ‘weaving’ together a best play through his skills (and his parents ‘weaving’ his life for him rather than letting him control it himself). To get even more conspiracy theorist-y, when Charles meets Hiori he calls Hiori “水色お兄さん” — literally ‘water-coloured big brother’, likely in relation to his hair colour because 水色 can also mean ‘cyan’. To keep it on the topic of water though, whose aura is made of water? That’s right. Rin’s! (yes I know this is really grasping at straws but I did say this post was for EVERYTHING hiorin).

A wild one here — dates. The exact age gap between Hiori and Rin is 9 months 9 days. 09/09 is Rin’s birthday.

Part 3 — Family Relationships: Love, Expectations and Abandonment

Rin and Hiori both have relationships with particular members of their family that are similar and also unique among the rest of the cast. For Rin, it’s his relationship with Sae. For Hiori, it’s his relationship with his parents.

To begin with Hiori, his parents only wanted a child who could fulfil their dream of being number one in the world at a particular sport. They held this expectation of him throughout his whole life, pretending to genuinely care about and love him when in reality all they wanted was for him to be the best. If he tried to step out of line, they’d become monstrous, as seen in his light novel: (chapter 2) “Can I take a day off from soccer tomorrow and go play with my friends?” As soon as he said this, the smiles disappeared from his parents’ faces. His mother looked very surprised, and then she made the scariest face he's ever seen. “......!” He doesn’t remember what she said. He just remembers that he was scolded terribly. After that, he was hugged tightly. “Hiori, you are born to be the best at soccer.” “You can play with other kids anytime you want.” “But if you don’t do soccer properly from now on, you will never be the best.” His mother was desperate. His father was behind her, looking sadly at Hiori. “Please, Hiori, trust us and play soccer.” Hiori felt that he had done something very wrong. … What should I do? I said something bad. I'm sorry. The air was stifling, as if he had been locked in a room full of needles. He felt like he would get hurt if he moved, so all Hiori could do was nod.” We also see the extent of this in chapter 206, when Hiori overhears his parents threatening to get a divorce if he isn’t the best. This makes him realise that if he doesn’t fulfil their expectations, his parents don’t want him. In essence, they would abandon him, letting their family fall apart and blaming it all on him.

With Rin, it’s a bit more complicated. His relationship with his older brother Sae is still pretty up in the air as to what really happened from Sae’s perspective. We need to distinguish between what actually happened (which is difficult to determine as of right now) and what Rin interpreted as happening. From his perspective, he has a moment in chapter 125 where he thinks Sae pretended to love him while they were growing up, only using him as a stepping stone to get to the world stage. After that had been achieved, Rin presumes was abandoned. This is unlikely true though (even if it’s tricky to discern for now). This is where I cry on deaf ears for a Sae light novel or spin-off chapter, anything to get his side of the story. My current PERSONAL interpretation of canon is that Sae still loves Rin, however he knows that Rin’s desire to be the world’s best as a duo is impossible, and his way of trying to ween Rin off such a dream was to sever their relationship, he just went about it in perhaps the worst way possible. No matter what really happened though, I’m more interested in what Rin interpreted from being abandoned, which is a mix of hatred and confusion but also still a desire for recognition.

This to me reads as very similar to what Hiori’s relationship with his parents used to be before his arc. Hiori hated his parents. He wished death upon them. And yet, despite that he kept fighting for what they wanted, fulfilling their expectations because he was so afraid that if he didn’t, all the blame would be placed on him for their family falling apart. Rin’s situation is sort of a dark mirror to Hiori’s, where instead of just fearing that abandonment, Rin was abandoned, with all the blame being placed on him by Sae. And just like Hiori, until his own awakening took place he himself was fighting for Sae’s approval again, trying to find any way he can to fulfil Sae’s expectations. We see this in the way Rin chose Isagi to be his rival after the U20 match not because of anything in particular that Isagi has done, but because Sae acknowledged Isagi. We see Rin’s desire for love in the way he travelled to Tokyo in the Episode Rin extra chapter to possibly watch Sae’s match, even though they’d already fallen out by that point. We even saw this limitation as recently as chapter 273, where Rin gives up a goal opportunity because, to him, Sae wouldn’t approve of it. His awakening has hopefully gone in a similar direction to Hiori’s, where he is now learning to play for himself.

Rin and Hiori both strove for love from their families and are now in the process of breaking from this mindset and fight only for themselves. This complicated relationship with love, expectations and abandonment is what draws me to a lot of hiorin’s potential. They both exist along a trajectory of breaking free from their families’ expectations, with Hiori having decided to not try to appease his family anymore and Rin having just started to unlock the true depths of his destruction without the need for Sae.

Part 4 — Headcanons: Some Fun Ideas

Anything from this point on is pure headcanon, taking into account all the canon information listed in the previous sections. This is NOT ‘speculation’. I genuinely don’t think any of this will be canon. Kaneshiro hasn’t consciously laid the groundwork for Rin and Hiori to interact but he has done so by accident and all the pieces are in place. This section is all about some fun ideas I’ve had about hiorin, mostly trying to use canon as a strong basis so that they make sense. These can range from canon-adjacent to domestic AU material, it’s a whole mix really. I’ll probably come back to this bit every now and again to update it with new ideas I have, so keep an eye out for that.

A shared understanding. Since they’re both familiar with what they perceive to be feelings of false love from family members, it creates a situation where they can understand why they act the way they do better than anyone else. I hc that this would help them to more naturally form link-ups on the field, since they’d be in tune with each other’s mental states as well as general play styles. Off-field they’d be able to recognise when something has ticked the other off or resurfaced some unpleasant memories. I don’t think they’d really be ones to talk about their family traumas to each other openly, but they’d have an understanding of the things they do find out and wouldn’t think the other is overreacting, especially Hiori understanding Rin. Hiori was voted the best listener, so while Rin likely would not open up much, if at all, Hiori would always be willing to listen to him. While I think it’s good that Rin has friends like Nanase who he can be more chilled out with, I personally prefer the idea that his partner is someone who can actually understand the depths of his issues and sit with him in the eye of the storm until it passes, rather than trying to just ‘fix’ him without being able to understand him properly.

Touch-starved and both slow to physical affection. Since they’re both introverted and Rin is emotionally constipated as hell, they aren’t really a couple that would be very into PDA. Not even hand-holding. But it doesn’t really matter for them. They’re both not very used to that sort of physical comfort especially in the presence of others. However, while I think in general Rin might be a bit more reluctant to initiate intimacy than Hiori, I do think he’d still be more inclined to initiate hugs. Why Rin of all people? Because he grew up with a sibling. And he was a younger sibling at that. On some level he would have received attention from Sae while their relationship was still good, even if only a little bit. Hiori on the other hand grew up an only child in a household where hugs and doting were used as a tool to manipulate him. He’d likely not be used to the idea of hugs as a genuine show of affection. But Rin’s hugs are always genuine and often given out sparingly and tentatively, after a lot of hesitation. They’re both slow to physical affection but they’d find a way to navigate their wants and needs together, taking their time.

All-nighter horror dates. Be it playing co-op horror games or binging horror movies in the dark, I think they’d both prefer that as a date night over going out to a restaurant. It’s an activity they can both have fun with as a shared interest, just the two of them, alone at home with no need to even leave the house. They can let themselves get more passionate and competitive (and sadistic) while playing horror games too. I particularly think they would play Dead By Daylight together a lot, with Hiori maining a killer since he said that’s what he would play in the Egoist Bible 2.0 and Rin playing a survivor since that allows him to fight for his life until death, something he strives for in life.

Owl eyes. According to the Egoist Bible, Rin’s favourite animal is owls (a lot of Nomura’s Rin drawings also feature owls, he has a plushie of an owl in chapter 270 and he wears a ‘fukurou’ (owl) bag in the Episode Rin extra chapter). It is also a fandom-wide thing to say that Hiori has giant eyes. While most people compare Hiori’s eyes to bugs, I’d like to offer comparing them to owl eyes — giant, round, staring into your soul maybe a bit too much. Hiori has owl eyes and Rin loves owls, so I headcanon that Rin would love Hiori’s large, curious eyes more than anyone.

Yoga together. While we only have canonical confirmation that Rin both regularly does yoga and is good at it, I hc that Hiori would also be quite good at it due to his parents likely drilling him with intense schedules and being helicopter parents about his health. Yoga would likely fall into it somewhere as a cool-down activity and a good way to exercise on rainy days. While Hiori initially wouldn’t find yoga fun to do with Rin due to his negative associations with it, I feel like over time it could be a nice bonding activity for the two of them. It requires minimal talking if they’re doing their own routines, and as long as Hiori isn’t messing up the moves I think Rin would tolerate the two of them existing in the same space. At the very least, Hiori wouldn’t try to one-up Rin with moves he can’t do and topple onto Rin as a result (looking at you, Isagi…). They wouldn’t do couples yoga though, just their own thing in the same space.

Sharing food. In the Twitter QnAs, it states that Hiori’s favourite food is salt-grilled saury (saury shiyoyaki) “including the bitter bits”. His least favourite food is cotton candy because “it’s just sugar”. Therefore, I hc that he tends to enjoy bitter food while disliking sweet food. In contrast, we know that Rin quite likes sweet food because he used to eat ice cream with Sae on the way home from practice, plus in the Episode Rin extra chapter he enjoys most blanc at a dessert cafe. Because of this difference in tastes, I like to hc Hiori giving any sweet food Blue Lock offers in their meals to Rin. Likewise, if the main meal Rin is given is ever burnt or charred too much for his liking, he gives the charred bits to Hiori since he knows Hiori will eat them so the food won’t be wasted.

Tea and coffee. As an addendum to the previous hc, I think Hiori would be a coffee drinker and Rin would be a tea drinker. This is because coffee tends to be more bitter, especially ones without sugar like espressos, so I can see Hiori preferring them to tea. There’s also the idea that ochazuke is made with tea, which is a bonus for Rin liking tea over coffee.

Cooking. Last food-related one I promise! While Hiori likely has a ton of technical knowledge about nutrition, dieting, calorie counting etc… due to his mother’s frenzied control of his diet growing up, I headcanon that he doesn’t actually have a clue how to cook. Once again, this is because of his parents being overprotective and worrying that he’d injure himself with a kitchen knife or burn himself on the stovetop. So he has zero clue about where to start in the kitchen. On the flip-side, while Rin isn’t the best cook in the world I reckon he’d have somewhat of an idea of how to cook the basics, plus he likely also has knowledge of dieting and nutrition for the sake of his own health. So while they’d both have things to learn in the kitchen, it would be Rin doing more of the actual cooking while Hiori decides what meals to eat to optimise their health and training.

A joint-aura that’s a blizzard — in the event that they ever were to team up on the field, I think that the aura they’d give off together should be a blizzard. It makes sense to me for them to have this because Hiori has ice associations with the kanji 氷 in his surname, which means ‘ice’, and in chapter 239 when he gives his monologue about finding a reason to play, a metaphorical key appears with a snowflake on it to symbolise his newfound resolve. Rin’s connections to snow are less positive though, since it was snowing the day that Sae abandoned him. I think making their joint aura a blizzard could symbolise both Hiori’s ultra-sadist resolve to play, and Rin finally being able to move on from Sae to associate the snow with his sadistic determination. A snowstorm joint-aura would also emphasise the pair of them having a sadistic, destructive take-down of their opponents.

Hurt/comfort. Given Hiori’s fetish and Rin’s predisposition to violence and injury, I love the idea of Hiori being the one to bandage Rin up when he gets hurt. From the U20 match we know that Hiori’s first instinct is to ask Rin if he’s alright and help him, but since his fetish is for this sort of thing I highly doubt he would scold Rin, chastise him or tell him to try his best not to get hurt anymore. Rather, he would accept Rin the way he is, tend to his injuries without pity or complaint, and Rin would be able to have someone be there for him who doesn’t look down on him for being destructive. We see in Rin’s flashback chapters during PXG that he was nervous about getting scolded by his parents, which is why I think Hiori’s acceptance would be so important to him.

Hiori has a type. His canon type is already ‘someone who will leave me alone’ as I previously discussed in section 2. However, I do like to semi-jokingly say that his type is also ‘dark-haired, analytical guys with an attitude who are really good at football’. Obviously this is meant to refer mostly to Isagi and Karasu (we’ve all seen the heart-eyes you give them, Hiori!), but it is amusing to me that the description also fits Rin perfectly.

Part 5 — Transformative Works I Recommend For New Shippers

These are just some of my favourite fanfics all linked together in one place. I’ll start with a shameless plug of my own fic:

14 Days To NOT Fall In Love (but guess who did anyway)

Summary: This annoyingly mandated break of Ego's was only fourteen days long. That would never be enough time for Rin to fall for this aggravatingly sweet, understanding, level-headed, cyan-haired gamer boy... Okay, maybe he'd need to exercise SOME restraint. Aka: how Rin and Hiori become mutually pining idiots after the U-20 match through a combination of video games, late night discord calls and learning that perhaps they're not all that different after all.

(Chapters: 10 , Word Count: 67088 , Rating: T)

And now for my personal favourites I think new shippers will enjoy, in no particular order (if any of the authors see this and have tumblrs you want me to tag, lmk!):

catch us in the morning by transrightssokka (kellallyourfriends)

Summary: Hiori looks down and brings his hand up to his mouth, hiding a faint smile. “You don’t wanna go home, do you?” “No shit, I don’t,” Rin says. He’d rather sleep on the sidewalk than spend the next two weeks with Sae. Hiori is silent for a minute. His pretty eyes flick to his feet. Up to the back of the seat in front of them. Over to Rin. “So.” “So?” Rin says. Hiori lowers his voice. “So, what if we didn’t?”

(Chapters: 3 , Word Count: 27206 , Rated: M)

Even When It’s Starless by saturnshots

Summary: Everyone’s had an imaginary friend or two — it’s not often they change the course of your life, but who says being imaginary could stop them from bringing your dreams come true?

(Chapters: 1 , Word Count: 2838 , Rating: G)

sine wave by starstruckdove

Summary: Rin discovers Bachira’s “super secret surprise” sooner than he’d thought. There’s a new boy standing next to Ego at practice, and Rin knows he’s new because each of his unfortunate teammates have made their presence (loudly and raucously) known in his life. The boy has a nice face–wide eyes and soft mouth, all rounded corners instead of sharp edges. His hair is a shocking shade of blue and Rin finds it almost familiar. “This is your new manager,” Ego says with about as much energy as a dead battery.

(Chapters: 1 , Word Count: 8990 , Rated: T)

Daydreaming by em_hiorin

Summary: Hiori can’t seem to concentrate during practice, as a certain Itoshi has been plaguing his mind.

(Chapters: 1 , Word Count: 1560 , Rating: G)

My family thinks we’re dating. by akiangelsolos

Summary: “Oh, I see.” His mother hummed, placing her silver fork down on the table. “You must be upset, Hiori hasn’t come over in a while. You have to be lonely without your boyfriend around.” “I’m not lonely-” Rin shot his eyes at his mom, “What did you just say?”

(Chapters: 2 , Word Count: 5486 , Rating: G)

Part 6 — Wow, You Made It This Far? Congratulations And Thank You!

If you’ve made it this far, then I am both immensely thankful and I applaud you. Seriously, thank you for putting up with my insane, delusional brainrot over this silly rarepair that has barely any canon backing to speak of. Hopefully if anything, you now understand why people are starting to take interest in the ship (or at least why I enjoy it). And if you’re a shipper now, welcome to the club! You will now have to watch Hiori and Rin never affect each other’s development, never interact in any meaningful capacity and you’ll be eternally bitter about it 👍. For any aspiring fic writers, I hope this can be a nice hub of info for all of you if you want to consult the hiorin ‘dynamic’ (i say in quotations because let’s face it, I made up like 95% of the dynamic based on analysis and a canon dynamic doesn’t actually exist). Also, bear in mind that in the off chance we do get some more moments, I plan to update this post. So you may end up being subject to even more brainrot in the future.

Until that day comes though, I can only thank you once again. Hiorin is my otp and no matter how much Kaneshiro doesn’t make it come to fruition, he will have to try incredibly hard to make me stop shipping them. The dynamic can change. They can become more and more ‘incompatible’. I don’t care. If hiorin has no shippers, I have passed on from this world.

#blue lock #bllk #hiorin #hiori yo #itoshi rin #blue lock hiori #blue lock rin #FINALLY this post is finished!!!#I’ve been working on it for weeks #it’s mostly for myself ngl #just a nice place to compile all my screaming into one clump #might as well share it with the world yk?#I hope it makes even a modicum of sense to any unsuspecting readers who don’t ship it #rinhio #rnho

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kararomanoff · 1 year ago

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who's your mommy?

This was written by a minor, if you don’t like that that’s okay you don’t need to read.

when Natasha comes over for a week to stay with you and your mom, she learns that you may have had sex with your now ex girlfriend but your hers? Can’t you see that

warning: smut, mommy kink, innocence kink, double sided dildo, legal age gap, pet names(detka means baby in Russian)

this is shit, I apologise for the terrible writing

its summer break from collage and you where back in your home town for a bit staying in your child hood home.

You had grown up with only your mom and big brother, your dad had left when you where 6 for another woman and it broke your mothers beautiful heart, Natasha had come to stay for a year and a half after the day he left to help as your mom had a depressive episode.

eventually you guys became like a little family, you, your mom, your 11 year old big brother and Natasha. you still remember it, you still remember the day she surprised you by taking you out of school for the day and took you to the zoo and you accidently called her mommy.

after a year and a half Natasha had to leave and go back to New York, you never stopped missing her even to this day at 20 you never stopped, of course you still saw her but only every so often, every few years and every time she saw you it always made her proud for the good smart girl you turned out to be.

but lately she had seen you a bit differently, in a more inappropriate way.

today Natasha was coming to visit you and your mom. There was never really anyway to describe how seeing Natasha again made you feel; nervous or excited or maybe scared which was absolutely stupid cause you loved her and she loved you like a daughter, or so you thought and awhile ago she thought the same thing.

''helloo'' the door opens and you hear Natasha shout, you jump up from your seat running to the front door and jumping into her arms ''NATTY!!!'' you shout in her ear with excitement ''detka'' she replys with the same excitement as she holds you as close as possible, smelling your coconut scented hair.

''Natasha'' your moms voice sounds through the front hall of your suburban house. Natasha reluctantly puts you back on the ground and walks over to your mom giving her a big hug and you can see the giant happy smile on your moms face, happy to see her best friend and that some how made your smile grow impossibly bigger knowing how Natasha had always been there for the woman you gave you life no matter what.

you walk up to them pulling Natasha out of your moms arms ''Natty i want your attention, i've not seen you in foreverrrrr!!!'' you whine

''And here i was going to say how grown up you are but it seems like your just the same little girl who called me mommy'' she smirked making you blush and duck your head.

you offered to take Natasha's suit case up stairs to her room that was left from when she lived there, you had never let her move any of her stuff out, always going into her room when you missed her. but Natasha refused and said she'd take it up because she needed a shower any way.

when she was in the shower you started on dinner knowing Natasha cant cook and wanting your mom to relax but secretly wanting to show Natasha to see your cooking skills. you decided to make her favourite, well what was her favourite last time she tried to make you dinner, which was when you where 6 you had never seen her cook since then.

you got the chicken wings out of the fridge and the sauce you made earlier, you dipped the chicken in eggs then bread crumbs and fried them, next putting the crispy chicken and spicy sauce in a tray to put in the oven.

''mhm baby that smells delicious'' Natasha spoke giving you a fright

''oh natty you scared me'' you breathe, hand on your chest

''sorry little one'' she kisses the top of your forehead, she had always done that but this time it was different, it made you feel different, a way you had only felt once with your ex girlfriend Agatha.

''Natty, you need to leave, its a surprise'' you say seriously

''oh yes, how dare i interrupt the chef'' she says with faux seriousness walking out of the kitchen to sit with your mother at the dinning room table.

you continue to cook put the chicken in the oven and setting a timer. You walk into the dinning room to see your mom and Natasha sitting across from one another drinking red wine, you sit in the chair next to Natasha as you wanted needed to be close to her.

you rest your head on her shoulder, looking up at her ''hi'' you whisper

''hi love'' Natasha whispers back making you smile

''i need to go get the dinner'' you say still look up at her beautiful face

''go get it then honey'' she continues to whisper

''okayyyy natty'' you get up wishing you where still close to her, you hadn't actually seen her in 4 years, of course you had called and text but it wasnt the same and you never wanted her to leave again.

you walk in to the kitchen getting the food out of the oven and put it on plates.

you go back to the dinning room giving Natasha her dinner first, then your mom and finally yourself.

''so how's collage been sweetheart?'' Natasha asks

''gooood'' you hum biting into your food

''she has a girlfriend too'' you mom says unknowing how Natasha would react to that ''mh y/n honey this is delicious'' Natasha blocks out what your mother is saying turning to look at you with a look in your eyes you've never seen before, almost like jealousy but that made no sense why would she be jealous?

''we broke up actually'' you say with a saddened voice

''oh baby im so sorry'' Natasha faked sadness for you, she wasn't sorry, she wanted you, she was going to be your mommy again. ''but i hope there wasn't any touching'' she turns to give you condescending look, you cant reply knowing that there was, but only once.

she picked up on this giving you what you thought was a disappointed look.

for the rest of dinner Natasha practically ignored you and it broke your heart thinking she was disappointed in you.

--------------------------------------

it was now 10pm, you, your mom and Natasha had all watched your favourite movie. You had cuddled into Natasha the whole time but she hadn't said a word to you, she hadn't even looked at you.

''imma go to bed now'' you say getting up from your spot on the sofa.

''goodnight honey, i love you'' your mom said

''goodnight mom i love you too........goodnight Natty.... i've missed you and i love you'' and for the since dinner Natasha looked at you, her eyes soft ''i love you too little one''

----------------------------

you are lying in bed in your favourite pjs that Natasha had got you for your birthday a few years ago unable to sleep knowing Nat was upset with you, you couldn't sleep like this. you get up from your bed and tip toe down the hall till your reach Natasha's bed room door, debating where to knock or just to walk in, you decide on just walking in in case she is sleeping.

when you walk in you are surrounded by the sound of panting, you frow your brows ''Natty are you okay?''

''fuck'' you here her mumble and see her head pop out of under the covers, you start to laugh and Natasha's face changed from a worried one to a confused one ''what, what's funny?''

''Natty! your hairs so messy! what the hell where you doing?'' you giggle, Natasha smiles seeing that your still her innocent little girl.

''i was just thinking about you baby girl'' that was true she was thinking about you she may just have been........ touching herself at the same time

''thinking about me makes your hair crazy?'' you continue to giggle

''it makes lots of things crazy detka''

''can i come into your bed natty?'' this was her shot, in all honesty she came this week of course because she had missed you but really because she needed to touch you, to have you, it wasn't a want anymore.

''of course you can sweetheart you don't even need to ask'' with that you get in to her bed, cuddling your head into her chest. ''how did you and your girlfriend touch honey?'' she speaks after a minutes silence and you blush yet again '' was it like this?'' Natasha cups your pussy with her already wet hand that was covered in her juices.

she watches as your face scrunches up ''Natty....what- what are you-'' Natasha cuts you off ''teaching you who you belong to princess and calling me mommy'' she says pulling your pj bottoms down as you whine.

''no panties?''

'' Aggie said it was bad to wear panties''

'' well she was right baby but you still wore your pj bottoms, you should do that because if mommy thinks you need her it'll be really hard for mommy to help you'' she rasps

'' 'm sorry mommy'' you squeaked as she started to rub her fingers against your clit

'' its okay, Aggie was mean and didn't tell you that but mommy did because im nice and i want to be able to help my baby'' Natasha speeds her fingers up making you moan as she lies between your legs teasing you. ''mommy is going to show you soooo much love tonight, you have no idea how long mommys waited to have you here'' Natasha then takes her fingers of your clit to see how you'd react, she wasn't going to let this be over fast, she had waiting to long for it to end in 2 minutes.

''mommy wh- why did you stop?'' you voice shakes needing to feel her against you again.

''awww do you need mommy to make you feel better, to fix the feeling in your tummy?'' she teases as she gets up walking over to her dresser and stripping

''yes mommy please, please please fix it, it hurts. i need you mommy'' you beg relentlessly just like she imaged you would.

she was turned away from you so you couldn't see what she was doing, she open one of her drawers pulling something out and after a few seconds turning back around.

''mommy whats that?'' you ask in fear as you stare down at the two sided dildo, the smaller side already inside of her.

''its whats gonna make you fell better dove'' Natasha climbed atop the bed pulling you down by your open legs ''this is gonna hurt a little sweetheart but i promise that in a few minutes you'll feel amazing, okay?'' she was worried for you but far more excited to ruin you and make you all hers, her little baby.

she starts to slowly push the head of the strap inside of you, making you let out a scream ''honey you need to be quite for mommy'' she whispered hoping that put it in your head to be quite.

once half of the strap is inside of you Natasha starts to take it out only to then thrust the entire length into you

she watched in pride as you bite your lip to stop your scream and tears streamed out of your eyes ''such a good girl for mommy, i promise it gets better'' Natasha's voice is surprisingly soft. she starts to very slowly thrust into you, loving all the noises of your cute little whines.

''mommy can i have more please?'' you moan into her ear, how could she say no to that. Natasha starts to thrust recklessly into you “mo-mommy mhm I-“ you moan

“Gonna cum all over mommy’s cock huh?” She rasp as she feels the coil in her stomach and brings her hand down to play with your clit

“mommy it to mu-much” you whine “feel like imma explode mommy”

“it’s okay baby explode for mommy” she thrust, look down to see you squirt all over her dick “such a good little girl” Natasha hums

“mommy- to much now” you cry after your orgasm is over as Natasha continues to thrust in to you at an outrageous speed.

“mommy need to cum to honey so be a good girl and lie still and let mommy use you as her fuck toy” you whine but do as told wanting to do what Natasha asks of you

“who’s your mommy?” Her voice is lustful as she gets herself off using your body

“you” the whispers falls out of your mouth

“who own you baby? Aggie?” She growls at her own mention of the woman

“no you own me mommy”

“fuck” Natasha groans as she finally cums riding out her high and pulling out of you, then taking the other end out of herself. Natasha climbs into the bed pulling you into her arms

“you mine now baby girl and no else is going anywhere near you”

#natasha romanoff #black widow #marvel #black widow x reader #natasha romanoff smut #natasha romanoff x you #natalia romanova #fanfic #mcu #natasha romanov #natasha x y/n #wlw smut #lesbian #mommy!nat #mommy natasha #mommys fucktoy

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itgomyway · 1 year ago

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lets talk about “being” and deciding if you actually want to study non dualism

“let yourself be” is not a statement that should fill you with anticipation. it’s not a statement that should leave you wondering how. if it does, then im afraid you don’t get non dualism.

manifesting is a process. even if you claim you manifest instantly the process still goes from lack to fulfillment. and that is fine. if you’re comfortable with that then please continue to follow loa. if you couldnt manifest with loa, nd is not a substitute. i see so many questions that are loa coded like youre trying to ask me about loa with non dualism terms. that isnt how any of this works.

i am not comfortable always living in desire. when i studied the law of assumption i manifested my desires but it just felt so… pointless? like no matter what i was settling for crumbs of things i didn’t even want in the first place. what i wanted was to be free.

that is what non dualism is. its spiritual awakening to help you manage the human condition as free as possible. we are all on this earth as “humans” so theres no getting around it. thats fine. instead of spending my short time here in desire, i just wanna be safe.

there IS no desiring or manifesting when you understand non dualism. by understanding non dualism you are freeing yourself from the human condition. this includes desiring, thoughts, fears, and beliefs.

you’re a being of consciousness occupying a human body. the only existing part is consciousness. with nd, you are simply retaking that role instead of giving it to desire, manifesting, tarot; astrology etc. those are not real, only you as consciousness is.

you can do the aforementioned just fine! but understand that its not non dualism. non dualism is not the only way to live it is just the most freeing way to live. so ask yourself: do you want to be free or do you want to live in desire?

“why not both” because that dissolves into what non dualism is about. you are consciousness meaning everything. as everything, what is there to desire? what is there to manifest? you either believe you are everything or you put yourself in a position to receive.

so again, if you want to go from a human being experiencing lack to a human being experiencing fulfillment then DO SO. its fine. its not wrong. i don’t care either way. but if you want that then leave non dualism alone. because you just wont get it thinking that way.

so now how do you be? by leaving the “world” as you “see” it alone. its not real. the only thing that could make it real is the observer you know, observing it as real. even if you dont want to follow nd, thats how it works.

“k but how do-“ please stop. youre not doing anything. you, as everything, do not have to. you are safe now everything is okay just live your life AND LET YOURSELF BE.

#consciousness #nonduality #nondualism #awareness

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krisstheidiot · 9 months ago

Text

× Midnight Brownies ×

Valentine's Day Special

Summary: Felix and you meet again years after highschool in a cafe on Valentine's day. When you two decide to go on a spontaneous multiple valentine's day activities spree, will past feelings sprout again?, will Felix finally answer your highschool self's confession?

Genre: fluff, highschool friends reunited(crushes)

Warnings: Mentions of Sex, Fireworks

Your sister had kept you awake all night until 3 to help her decide what outfit she was to wear for her date with her boyfriend. Sleep was completely lost so you had decided to go on a long jog at 6 am and then got ready to hang out at a cozy cafe a few blocks down.

Ordering your usual latte with a slice of apple pie as you sit down at a table near the flower display outside, reading a book on your kindle enjoying the quiet despite the lack of sleep.

A deep voice speaks out of no where breaking your concentration as you look up in shock, finding a familiar face in front you...

"Hey miss is this seat free...?"

Those honey brown orbs, the galaxy like freckles spread on those plush fair cheeks and that cute heart like smile, The face not matching the voice at all as you come to realize who you were face to face with.

"...Felix?"

Tilting your head as you gasp softly and stand up with a bright smile, happy you encountered an old friend, said man looked down at your face in shock as he took in all your features. It was no doubt you were pretty but you looked so beautiful as the morning sun gave you your golden hour, eyes twinkling with golden orbs.

"Y/n..? Omg it's really you...!"

Felix smiled brightly as he suddenly pulled you in for a warm hug, which you happily reciprocated.

"I wasn't expecting to meet you here!"

Felix exclaimed happily as he pulled away and you both sat at your table to catch up on what's been going with your lives. A while later you got curious about why he was here all alone, fiddling with your fork and apple pie crumbs you finally decide to ask.

"Felix i was wondering why you are here all alone? That too so early in the morning?"

Felix chuckles as he sips on his drink while thinking of a way to word his reason without it being awkward

"Well its valentine's day and I am single but all my other friends are dating I woke up to one of them having morning sex so yeah I had to make my escape so i came here..."

"Oh..."

Felix laughs at the face you make as you nod sheepishly imagining how awkward the situation would have been.

"Either ways they probably would have teased me if I had stayed also I am avoiding social media so I don't get coerced into doing a stream because I am sure even my fans would tease me about being so lonely that I stream even on valentine's day"

You giggle as you imagine all the 8 year olds bullying an adult just because he doesn't have a partner. Suddenly a spontaneous idea comes up in your head as you quickly take Felix' hand and get up grabbing your stuff.

"You know what Felix let's go on a date right now! The one we were supposed to go to in highschool but never could because I moved away. I mean if that's okay with you...?"

Felix grinned as he nodded eagerly making all the uncertainty in your head disappear. You smiled as you took his hand in yours and left the cafe after paying.

Finding yourself at a retro arcade that was empty as you and Felix buy a shit ton of coins for all the games. Trying out every single one from bunch of scammy claw machines to every car racing game.

Any game you found fun you would do. Tetris. You name it you played it. With the last coins you decided to play a boxy zombie game that looked like a stupid rip off minecraft as you tried to distract each other hoping the other would fall into the pit of zombie while trying to bridge with the jammed buttons of the machine. Finally you managed to bag the win for who bridged the farthest by kissing Felix's cheek to distract him.

Smiling as both you and Felix's hands are full holding bags full of the tacky toys and gifts he won for you from the claw machines and all the old timey snacks and games you had won from winning the competitive games as you walk next door deciding to play laser tag since you had won two tickets to it.

Coming out of the place as you whine childishly complaining that Felix was just too fast and he didn't win fairly since he literally picked you up and shot your tag with his laser. Felix in tow teasing you that you were just too slow and small to be able to win and his win was completely fair.

"Let's get lunch yeah?"

Felix asks as he smiles down at you as he takes your hand in his and leads you to the nearby beach that was 10 minute walk away. You guys come to a stop in front of a shack restaurant on the beach itself.

sitting on a table facing the sea as you guys order what you guys are gonna eat while talking about anything that came to mind like you were back in Highschool.

Finishing up lunch as the both of you decide to visit the shops at the beach before leaving, as you browsed shop after shop as you go into a very neon coloured shop looking around at all the vintage and retro stuff as you pick up some old pokemon cards blind packs and buy it while Felix is wandering around buying something of his own.

Now, walking to an old cinema as you chat about what anime movie you should watcha at the cinema. Both deciding 'My Neighbor Totoro' would be best as you go inside the cinema taking some artificially buttered popcorn as you sit down in the empty cinema giggling like middle schoolers.

"Hey Felix earlier I bought these old packs of pokemon cards wanna open them with me like when in highschool?"

You suggested, glad that it was dark in the theatre so that he wouldn't know you were blushing as you saw Felix chuckle as he pulled out what he had bought earlier. It was a bunch of old candy with no nutritional value just sugar. Pure sugar. You grinned remembering how you both used skip classes to watch anime at the library while opening pokemon cards and munching on candies just like this.

"Honestly Y/n I missed this. I missed us."

Felis whispered to you while sipping on his now watered down coke since the ice had melted, you looked at him, eyes full of emotion as you smiled softly.

"I missed us too alot, I wished that i had never moved away then maybe we would be spending this valentine's day as a couple not as just friends..."

Whispering sadly as you look back at the screen hoping you don't start crying.

You feel him take your hand in his as he squeezes it slightly.

"Who says we can't spend it as a couple?"

Felix asked straightforward about his intentions behind the question.

You looked up at him slightly in shock trying to gauge out the joke in his question and intent. He nodded to reassure you that he was saying the truth and what he wanted wasn't to joke with you, it was to be with you. A look into his eyes was all you needed to reassure yourself. Just as you opened your mouth to respond he pulled you in and kissed you. It was soft and warm and full of love, his lips soft against your own as he put his hands on your cheek holding you there as you reciprocate the action. Pulling away after a while as he smiles down at you, eyes beating the ones a certain heart eyed emoji has.

"I loved you before. I love you still. And I am sure I will keep on loving you. That's how much I feel about you Y/n, baking isn't any fun without you when i remember how much fun we used to have when we baked together."

You looked at Felix, eyes glossy with tears as you breathe out shakily, overwhelmed by emotions as you hug him close to you and whisper.

"I love you too, I tried so hard to move on convinced that you probably did too, but this its not just a highschool crush it goes beyond that and I don't want to lose the good memories of you. I don't want to lose you anymore not after i waited so many years..."

Felix smiled as he kissed your head and ran his fingers through your hair to comfort you as he spoke. The movie long forgotten.

"You aren't losing me hell even if you wanted to you won't be able to get rid of me now so don't be sad Sweets..."

"Sw-sweets...?"

You looked up at him blushing like crazy as he smiled and patted your head. He looked like a bright ball of sunshine whenever he smiled.

"Well I am assuming that this means we are a couple now so I am just calling my lovely girlfriend a cute nickname!"

"Well if I am sweets then you are Sunshine..."

You whined as took your cup of coke and drank to hide your blush.

"I don't mind darling"

The nickname teasing fest continued as both of you tried making each other blush by calling each other the cheesiest pet names.

It was 8 in the evening as both of you walked hand in hand now as a couple not friends. Smiling as you walked in a nearby diner and sitting down at the table as your eyes adjusted to the the 90s theme the diner was sporting.

Fishing out some spare change as you put it into the jukebox placed near your table as you grinned up at Felix playing the song that you always did in high school. 'Summer love' by One Direction playing as both of you grabbed your spoons pretending they were mics and singing the lyrics and dancing together like idiots in love which you were.

Dinner ended with you two full and satisfied as you walked to Felix's apartment to spend more time together. Both of you ended up playing mario kart as he started vlogging for memories. That's what he said.

Later you decided that both of you needed a sugar high after as if all that candy earlier didn't do a number on your blood sugar levels.

Both of you in his kitchen while trying to bake brownies at 12:50 am. Flour on both of you as you sprinkled choco chips on the brownie batter before putting it in the oven that Felix had pre heated. Closing the oven door as you get up when Felix suddenly wipes your face with a tissue to get rid of all the flour. You look at him, his face now absent of any flour from the playfight you had when he called you small. Leaning slightly to look at the time.

"Wanna do something? we can turn on the oven after we come back from the last adventure of today..."

You said as you take of the apron and take his hand leading him outside as you walk back to the beach.

"So what is this adventure about sweets?"

"You will see Lix..."

Smiling as you reach the beach and tell Felix to go and sit on a bench while you buy a few things. Coming back with two bags of stuff that Felix had no idea to what it would be used for. You looked at the time on your phone as you asked Felix to countdown with you while your eyes are focused at the sky.

Few seconds later bright explosions were visible. Fireworks everywhere. The colourful sparks littered the sky as you looked at Felix. He was absolutely beautiful, his eyes reflecting the colors in the sky as his hair flowed with the wind and his lips parted in amaze as he looked at you.

"My sister wanted to be extra for her date with her boyfriend so she decided on fireworks at the time when she had first met him."

Smiling back at Felix as you turned to look at the sky when suddenly Felix pulled you in to kiss you. Smothering you with kisses all over your face as you giggled under his attack. Few minutes later he stops as you smile and dangle the bag that you brought earlier in front of him.

"I brought sky lanterns and sparklers so we could have our own little light show..."

"I remember when all our friends went to that park at 12 am just to look at the sky lanterns that everyone released"

Felix said in response to your suggestion as you both pulled out the sparklers and played around for awhile, later taking the few sky lanterns and lighting them and releasing them while holding onto each other like the couples that were in the park the night you confessed to Felix while watching the sky lanterns float in the sky.

Watching as the sky lanterns you released float together while you hug each other. This may be a cheesy holiday for some but this was the day you found your love. The one that would stay forever with you. The love where you would go back home at 3 am and eat brownies and then cuddle and fall asleep on the couch.

This is your love and it is yours to keep forever and ever.

Because just like the sky lanterns you lit you burned bright for each other and would find your way to each other no matter how far you could be.

He was your sun, you were his star.

@!directory

A.N: Helloo! I am Kriss I hope you liked the oneshot it was kinda rushed and sorry if it was too cheesy. Anyways Happy Valentines day to everyone, to all the ones who are dating - enjoy your special day, to every single pringle - treat yourself to anything even if it's a small chocolate bar! Have a great day/night. Byeee!

Stay Tuned for more!

#felix yongbok #felix x reader #lee felix x reader #lee felix #skz felix #felix x you #felix x y/n #stray kids fluff #stray kids fanfic #skz scenarios #skz imagines #skz x reader

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