#let me know if i should do a part two
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jin guangshan and lan qiren yaoi perhaps? since their shapes create a perfect balance?
Two old men perform worlds first successful 96.
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan qiren#jin guangshan#I do not know if these two have a ship tag or if anyone has ever entertained the idea of these two kissing before.#Lets call them 'old man 96' for now.#Where the nine represents LQR's honkers and the six represents JGS's hunkers.#with our efforts combines we can make this the new cursed ship.#I am now giving preliminary head space to these two engaging in a relationship and -#HOO BOY. It would be horribly toxic. But like a beautiful mushroom the toxins are part of it's beauty.#They are the most opposite in morals and behaviour one could possibly be.#Okay the thoughts are done cooking.#Lan Qiren is the 'one guy' JGS has been with and it's haunted them both ever since. They refuse to make eye contact in meetings.#What led them both to that situation is for another day. I think I burnt 80% of my braincells thinking about these two kissing.#Thank you again delightful mutual stackedbirds for setting a lovely ball for me to strike down into the earth with.#I hope you enjoy the old men big naturals top and bottom edition. Balanced...as all things should be.
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Charming Family Head Cannons (ft. Ella's step family as well)
When Dizzy first started going to Auradon she was really excited to meet Chad! She had heard she had a step cousin in school but was worried he wouldn't consider her family so she makes a blue friendship bracelet as an olive branch and gifts it to him at one of his tourney games before he goes off to college and he immediately adopts as an honorary sister.(he looks after her with his life for the rest of the semester)
Chloe is constantly asking Dizzy for stories about the core 4 when they went to AP and before they left the Isle. Chad feels bad that Chloe never asks him anything about when he went to school with them but his most detailed stories revolve around him being kicked out of Carlos & Jay's dorm for using their 3D printer without permission.
Speaking of 3D printers Chad definitely used to beg Carlos to 3D print toys to send to Chloe while he was in school because he missed his baby sister And Chloe also hated not hated not having her brother around during the semester (such toys include, a Chloe action figure, and her first practice sword)
Chad asked Dizzy to add blue streaks in his hair for a family portrait hoping to surprise everyone and Chad ended up convincing her to dye a small streak as well because their family
Lady Tramain is pretty much reformed by the time her and Ella reunited but the two try to steer clear of each other for the most part, they'd only really spoken twice since. Once to finally apologize for what she put Ella through, and once to thank her for not taking their problems out on Dizzy and treating her as a part of her family despite everything
The Charmings never visit Ella's family because they want Ella to be the one that makes that first step to rekindling that relationship and only if she wants to.
While Lady Tremaine doesn't treat Dizzy as bad as she treated Ella she still doesn't show her affection much so when she was worried the Charmings contempt for her might was over to her daughter it came off more like banning Dizzy from getting to know them at all
Ella does regular welfare checks on Dizzy whenever she visits Chad and Chloe (checking for bruises, malnutrition, exhaustion, etc) Dizzy hates that it's needed but appreciates such open affection
Dizzy and Chloe definitely braid each others hair and talk about their rebel girlfriends at sleepovers together.
Chad and Dizzy would probably destroy the whole house and start seven different wars if Chloe took so much as a break to grab a water while they were hanging out (and probably have)
#I have so many more ideas let me know if I should do a part two#dizzy tremaine#chloe charming#chad charming#king charming#ella charming#lady tremaine#headcanons#chloe x red#Dizzy x Celia#descendants#descendants rise of red#Lol this was way longer than I expected it to be
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The Power of the Star
#mario movie#mario movie spoilers#mario and luigi#super mario bros#super mario bros movie spoilers#epilepsy warning#flashing lights warning#(if you know of any other good tags i should use along those lines let me know! looking at these even strains my eyes after a while lol)#(also yes these look a little fuzzy but THIS SCENE IS ESSENTIALLY A GIF NIGHTMARE (TOO MANY COLORS). this is the best i could do!)#cherrysip edits#with all of that out of the way MAN OH MAN#this whole sequence is [chef's kiss]#love that when things clear mario and luigi are both staring at bowser over their shoulders#love the effect of the road cracking from the impact of bowser's kick but they don't even blink#LOVE that the two are basically mind-melded on a WHOLE NEW LEVEL now where just a look is enough to move in perfect unison#and love bowser's suprised pikachu face :O :O :O :O#i will do the whole scene in a few parts eventually :) it's WAY too much for one gifset haha
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friend notoriously bad at videogames said shed play marvel rivals with me tomorrow chat if i never post after tomorrow night its because a blood vessel bursted
#marvel rivals#snap chats#AT LEAST WE’LL HAVE OUR OTHER FRIEND THERE BUT god.#she funny as hell she just suddenly called me and was like ‘i saw your twitter. do you wanna play marvel rivals tomorrow’#and then she proceeds to be like ‘wait so who do you main. other than magneto’ Motherfucker with a capital M#NO I SWEAR IM NOT A ONE TRICK i really like wanda hawkeye and jeff….#NO SHE SAID ONE MORE THING SHE WAS LIKE ‘wait are charles and magneto the same guy’ and she tries to Just Kidding her wait outta it#Note whenever she says Just Kidding she’s trying to cover her ass I PROMISE I WAS LIKE /KAYLA. BE SERIOUS./#and then she was like ‘who’s the friendlier one of the two’#and then i had to hit her with the Technically People Think Theyre Both Varying Degrees Of Asshole. however charles probably wont bite you#and THEN SHE WAS LIKE ‘ok well you should draw magneto surprising charles with jollibees’ AND I. NO SHE THINKS MY EXISTENCE SURROUNDS JB#AND THIS GAL HAD THE GAUL TO BE LIKE ‘oh do you know how to make it since its a big part of your culture’#i was flabbergasted frankly. ‘oh you guys really like jollibees so you know how to make it right’ i screamed#LIKE ????ISJAJSJSJSJ i cant stress the anomaly this girl is i wish you all could meet her so you understand me#AND LIKE SURE I LOVE JBS but she only ever mentions puto and jollibees to me like kayla. there is more to PH culture than that sjKakss#its really funny with the ??? shit she says i cant lie#she was all ‘oh is the winter soldier in the game ? you should play him hes cool :) and from jersey :) ok well his actor is but—‘ LIKE DKSKS#‘snap arent you being a little mean’ no trust and believe AND I HAVE WITNESSES#i have stupid amounts of stories with her. like she tried to excuse being dumb by sayin shes a capricorn#we’re literally both capricorns and she was born two days before me I Cannot. Do You Understand Me.#anyways. she said i should stream me playing rivals would anyone care about that#i kinda wanted to …. i think it’d be fun…. plus i miss streaming :(#ok byebye for now my bros almost home and i said id let him play so i could work on comms#i mean thats assuming he wants to play. if not uhhhhhhh#anyways BYE. ill tell yall how the game goes tomorrow night if i dont die of a stroke#again at least our other friend’ll be there so someone can laugh at my pain
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I think the most baffling thing about the Tulpar as a vessel to me is the fact that the ship really did only have a one way communication system.
I know it was cheap but even the most basic of vessels regarding major transport would have some way, shape or form for outside communication. Not only that but there was absolutely no form of innate emergency signal to show they may have been offline or in trouble despite clearly having a system to dock credits if they went off course. It's another factor that really shows that bad situations are made to get worse by design. One person who is required to relay all information to the crew and make all the choices without feedback. No way to update or call for help in case of a dire situation. No way to inform of inner personal conflicts and acquire procedures accordingly.
It really is like they are all in some sort of fucked up solitary confinement. They have their own world with strict roles that are meaningless in the end, as long as the cargo makes it, it doesn't matter what happens on that ship to the company. They don't want to hear anything and will come to conclusions on what happened based on how much pay they can withhold from the workers. Even what they do send is short, sterile and corporate to the extent it was likely written and sent out with a command by some random unmanned computer in an office.
There's something to be said about how unfair it is to force absolute power and control onto one person when you as an entity could do so much more to offload it but I've said it many times before so I won't again.
#its just like idk i dont think Curly was a bad captain because we only have this scenerio and I certainly dont think a man like Swansea#would like him or have very little issues with him specifically if he was incompentent or too lienent in the past but I do think the stress#was making him worse and worse as being a present leader as it dawned on him how much he actually had to handle like I really think he#just wanted to do yknow normal captain pilot stuff and fly the ship and yknow the little stuff like make sure things run right and over tim#the constant stress and strain of having to make every major choice started to grate on him and freak him out cause they cant even fucking#eat unless he pulls out the scanner and starts cooking like he has to choose the meal likely or have a vote and i make that part of the#reason he seems so indecisive and inactive is the fact he has to make the choice all the time and he's hoping he can at least make the crew#feel a little more in control of themselves as people by staying out of affairs like the game or disputes because god he literally has to#choose for them all the time like thats a lot of responsibility monitering their sleep their breaks food consumption thats all on him like#it really should be another persons job entirely as thats almost like absoulte contrl over the lives of everyone else that PE forces onto#that title and its also crazy how everyone accepts it even if they dont like it like they broke the food machine open rather than get the#scanner they all waited two months before Jimmy appointed himself leader its so scary how conditioned they all are to the environemnt#cause that sort of mindset is sadly real where people just wait everyone just waited until it was getting real dire and then they still#followed Jimmy without too many complaints like i saw a fic or post where Anya acknowledges they all kinda just let Jimmy do what they want#because he became the captain and it was stupid on all their parts cause they could clearly see how bad he was and yet he was captain so#they just fell in line to their roles and thats a bigger point towards how PE treated them and the complacency capitalism brings to you#just like something that irks me because idk I know Curly is slow to act but he's not as like unopinionated as people make him out to be#like he does try to find solutions but they are still restricted at the end of the day by what PE provides them and I think his biggest c#crime is being in his own head too much and not giving Anya that emotional stability cause like idk man was he supposed to go to Home Depot#himself and install like padlocks? even if the let Anya sleep in medical after she pointed it out she was already pregnant at that point#like we arent seeing the inherent issue that no one not even Anya herself was thinking of the preventative measures because a)there was a#point nothing was happening that necessitated them b) it would've been the responsibility of PE to address them pre and post incident and c#there is only one person on the entire ship given the authority to do anything. You can not make multiple important choices in one instance#in such little time and Curly should not have had that total power like i think the most interesting thing in takes that really blame Curly#is that level of control they give him over the company. Like again i think about the three days we miss between the eval/party and the#convo/crash like i think people switch them around as if those scenes happen in succession when they are broken up and its heavily implied#Curly and Jimmy just havent been talking vs the depiction that she told him and for like three days Curly was just chummy despite the fact#Jimmy and him just had a blow out fight like the next time we assume they talk is during the crash sequence cause he honestly hangs#around Anya more which i think is really important because she trust Curly to defend her himself but not his judgement to give her somethin#to defend herself as she knows he believes her but also knows she's not seeing the danger the same and its heartbreaking and more
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bled in the hall, watched it all | 9-1-1 whump 2024 // the cost of grief OCTOBER 4 - FRIGHT/FREAKY FRIDAY Painful transformation, non-consensual body modifications, “You’re a monster.” ALT 9 - “You always make everything worse!” warnings: none
“You always make everything worse!”
Eddie knows this, knows this down to his bones, in the depths of his soul. He abandoned Chris right out of the womb, left Shannon to handle everything on her own more than once. He wasn’t around for the longest time. He was trying to do right by them, trying to provide, but that kept him away from Chris, and then he thought he was doing the right thing by getting Chris away from his grandparents and to L.A., to let Chris grow and be independent, away from the restrictive natures of Helena and Ramon.
But Eddie kept failing, and kept almost dying, and kept hurting Chris in more ways than he cared to recall. He was so wrapped up in his own hurt and grief that Chris had been sucked into his downfall.
Don’t drag him down with you.
or: Chris opens up to Eddie instead of giving him the cold shoulder.
read on ao3
#eddie diaz#christopher diaz#9-1-1#911 abc#911 fox#ailesswhumptober2024#ailesswhumptober#yes i am posting two fics on the same day shush#I am going to do my best to keep up#day 3 will actually be part 2 of a two parter later this month#so we're just trudging ahead#whumptober#lyss writes#if you think something should be tagged please let me know!
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Me, episode 1: Oh, a relatable protag! And a relatable female protag, at that. Sweet! That never happens.
Me, a few episodes in: Wait, the protag really is going to be my character? The one I identify with the most? Seriously? It's not going to be a strange, at least somewhat sinister, seemingly hostile male side character? It's gonna be a female character and the protagonist? That's insane, that literally never happens... what's the catch??
Me, more than halfway through the season: ... huh, I guess Maomao really is it. Okay, then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Me to myself, after episodes 22/23:
#i let my guard down#i should have known#like really i should know better by now lmao#that's probably the best depiction of prosopagnosia i've seen in fiction ngl#also luo//men's suggestion re: using other attributes to tell people apart??#A++ approach what a guy#mine isn't nearly as severe but i totally use footsteps/gait/mannerisms as my primary means of distinguishing people#the very few people i care about i can definitely recognize by facial features#and people i see frequently; though i do have trouble recognizing them if they appear in a context i'm not used to#like. if i were to see one of my sword classmates at my workplace for instance i would have trouble recognizing them#but anyone else? forget it#the most difficult part of working veterinary front desk was returning animals to their owners#bc even though i could have /just/ spoken with the owners like. ten minutes ago#i couldn't tell you which animal belonged to which owner#faces just don't register with me#dogs were easier in that i'd just let them lead me to their owners#but if it was a cat in a carrier i was fucked lmaooo#it's why if there was another receptionist working i'd let them handle any hand offs XDD#i don't remember most of my childhood but i have some very vivid impressions of moments like#my mother asking me to go give a cash tip to the hairdresser who did her hair and me being unable to pick who it was out#of everyone that was working even though i'd been there with them for two plus hours.#or like. taking the school bus home and being unable to recognize my bus monitor and so getting on the wrong bus#and also getting ridiculed about this by my parents lol. ah good times.#on the other hand i can easily recognize a dog i've met once or twice even years later. and remember their name.#i think it all mostly comes down to disinterest for me. i've tried to change this but it's just how i am#so. he's very relatable. painfully so#also the pragmatism and rationality and hyperfixating on things.#i've never hyperfixated on another person tho and i am so grateful for that every single day#i know in my bones it would be an absolute disaster XD#withoutwords
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Hello again, fellas. (And to whoever is actually interested in looking at my weird little AU-) Sanctuary has been on my mind lately and uhhh, I’d like to introduce you to some new characters!
Meet the Eventide Duo: REI and KAI!
I, like with Aster and Del, have never drawn them before, and because I honestly didn’t have it in me to do two full-body drawings with color and everything, doodling them was the next best thing. I’ve been thinking about these two a lot and just really wanted to get them down as a start. Soooo—this is their first pass and things are subject to change! (Please excuse the messiness-)
Rei (the Red) and Kai (the Blue) come from—okay this is kinda funny now that I’m writing it out—their AU was inspired by an FNF fan song that I heard awhile back. It was something like “Frostbite but Blue.” The person who made the song (I don’t remember their name off the top of my head) said they were going to post the lore, but as far as I know they never did, so my brain kinda took the concept and ran with it—making it into my own story. (Sorry to whoever that was-)
Rei is the fledgling god of the Sun and the Second Coming of Arceus. He ascended to godhood after his untimely death, returning to earth to protect the one he loves. Rei may look like a massive grump, but in reality, he's a ray of sunshine and one of the most warm-hearted and protective people you'll ever meet. Kai is still a Pokémon Trainer, but he’s also Rei's singular devotee. He's honestly pretty quiet for a Blue, if not a bit high-strung, but he's loyal and sweet, even if he has a bit of a hard time showing it.
The both of them worked together to survive the violent floods and rainfall that devastated their original home, and now live a quiet life together in Sanctuary, going on little adventures here and there to try and reclaim the life they lost bit by bit.
(Okay, time to tag my one fan. @100nebulas , I think you said you wanted more Sanctuary content in general that one time, so I guess you’re gonna be eternally tagged in these lmao. Hope you enjoy :])
#WOO NEW CHARACTERS LETS GO-#Okay actually it’s 4 am and I’m dead. I genuinely thought I was going to do this tomorrow but I finished the art a few hours ago-#and just really struggled with how to write their mini bio :/ I’m tired.#But Anyway! More Characters for the Cast! Yippee!#(And for whom it may concern—Rei and Kai are the only two characters I have that are canonically (romantically) in love.)#I really wanted to do something special for all of my characters. Like- make them all full-body art and then doodle in the extra details-#and write a ton of headcanon/lore about them under a cut kinda like what the folks over at TheMissingNumbers did-#but I’ve got no drive and doodling is all I’m capable of to be honest.#But getting them down is the most important part. I can go back and reorganize everything later with better art and info.#All of my characters come in pairs (for whatever reason—not even I know.) So expect more doodles at… some point. I can’t really tell you.#Sanctuary’s main cast (and by main cast I mean the characters I think of most often) is around 8-10 characters.#(on the fence about the last two.)#But uh- don’t expect anything high-quality for awhile. I’m doing my best over here and am just trying to have fun.#Anywho- Ignore me. I hope you enjoy the new guys! For my one fan—I’d like to know what you think. :)#(Also sorry for the longer main post. I normally have a cut there but I don’t have anything to put under it. The art is just the doodle-)#(Probably should have mentioned that Sanctuary is built on a Multiverse-type base… thing. I don’t know how to describe it.#Multiple Universes. Multiple Red’s. Multiple Blue’s. All that jazz. Sorry. like I said—I’m tired :/)#(Hopefully nobody is confused-)
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what if. what if I did a whole post abt ex-togame what if.
#no because........ the way I'm in my feelings for him and in my feelings for angst should be illegal#hands itching. i need to write i need to write sOMETHING#togame ? trying the most to make things right only for your relationship to fall for the 1 thing he can't do that's communication? HMU#i genuinely think he wouldn't be desperated begging for a second chance bc im a firm believer he would be pissed#HOWEVER ☝️ May I suggest ☝️ togame slowly loosing his mind because you accidentally left something in his house ☝️#its the idea of 'he has so much of you' in his house and vice-versa just to show how he genuinely tried so much how could u not see it ?!#not me yapping abt this instead of writing........ alright maybe I'll make a part two of that prev posf just for him 😐#'your fault for letting your girl get so comfortable togame' 'shut up stop saying that you're not my girl anymore' 'sorry. habit.' 'i know.'#I CAN WRITE A MESS SO MESSY I PROMISE 🙏🙏🙏🙏 ILL DO IT ILL DO IT#i just need angst in my veins atm and you guys know me I can't do that to ume. its too much for me to handle.#ALWAYS ALWAYS obsessed with different ways a enneagram 2 reacts to it. as a 2 myself. ume and jo the mans that you both are.#ALRIGHT ENOUGH ill write it. by next week i promise 👍👍👍#if i dont get any requests it will be the next thing promise 👍#e.txt#jo togame x reader
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i miss claude so badly im already planning my golden deer maddening run while still in the middle of black eagles. i just want my guy. my favorite guy. unfortunately i just love the black eagles as a group/cast but i am mourning my man (i never kill him btw)
#ann in fodlan#all my thoughts are wah wah wheres claude wah wah#but i love edie too… see this is why three hopes was great cuz i got to see both of them together#im an edie yuri truther its my top 3 edie ships but number 4… hehe. edie/claude… SORRYYYYY#actually im a aroace claude truther but if i must choose someone for him. hehehehsehhegrh#but i did read this lovely aromantic claude fic one time and its so dear to me. i think i bookmarked it i should go read it again#i love him. god.#and you know i do like the gd house#its just. i dont like them as much as i want to? not as much as be or bl#and part of that honestly is because i like units based on two categories:#characterization and how fun they are gameplay wise.#and unfortunately most of them let me down on that latter category 😭😭#like. ive tried so hard to make lorenz good. SO HARD. but i cant…. i dont know what to do with him!#dark knight wyvern paladin bishop dark mage sniper HE SUCKS!!!!#raphael is also always terrible for me so one time i just made him a mage bc if hes gonna suck i may as well laugh#he was outdamaged by my warrior lysithea. actually she went crazy hard for no reason#you know who i want to like more? hilda.#on paper she is the perfect character for me. shes pink she has an axe shes valentine themed#i LOVE the spoiled rich girl trope like sorry. sorry#but i just cant get over her racism and it shocks me sometimes how that is an unpopular opinion#but idk. i know its not real and it comes from a place of ignorance rather than malice#but when youve been cyril before to someone else’s hilda its like. its hard to watch#another support of hers i cant get over is actually her marianne support and like. unpopular opinion but i cant stand that support#idk how everyone j goes ‘yuri!!’ have any of you ever been marianne in that situation.#its so uncomfortable sorry. marianne get up… better yuri awaits you.#and its not even the fact that hildas wrong in these situations its that she never acknowledges that!! no one ever pushes back! its annoying#i do like her to some extent. i LOVE her characterization towards her motivations (why she doesnt try too hard/she doesnt believe anything#is worth lives)#and then on crimson flower you see that she HAS found a cause/someone worth her life (claude) and its SO tragic its so well done#TAG COUNT IM A CLAUDE OR LEONIE RIDE OR DIE THO I HAVE TO GO BYE
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Well.
#(I'm back)#It was. Uhm. A chapter#First of all: I'm ENDLESSLY GRATEFUL to the person who sent me the translation basically as soon as the chapter came out.#I even did like 90% of typesetting but didn't finish it because I had to go out#(aka with my friends were literally knocking out at my room and I couldn't make it any more late lol)#Mixed feelings about it? Mostly because there's so much exposition... I'll need to reread it another three times before it sinks in#The color page is AMAZING 10000000000000/10 I love my sskks so much they're so cute I love them so much they're so cute.#Easily the best part of the chapter.#The color page was? Very very pretty too? Like a lot more than usual if you ask me! I can't wait for the volume cover 🥺🥺#It should come out soon shouldn't it? Usually color spreads / pages open the volume...#Akutagawa fake dying again is funny. Like it isssss but also. Idk it's a little lame how we're changing the pov from ss/kk again :/#I can't even tell if I'm being biased or if it's an actual storytelling critique. I don't care right now I just want to see Akutagawa–#being cool rather than. You know. Dead on the ground.#That said! It's also very funny and touches my sense of humor precisely.#Like yeah Akutagawa being like the second strongest pm member and overall one of the most powerful ability user in the world–#that everyone fears (and I know he is! He is indeed for real!)#And yet he always ends up face to the ground 😂😂😂 Like if we don't count the ss/kk fights he literally only ever won against Hawthorne.#And even then he failed to kill him and Mitchell. It's so funny to me. I love him. He's so pathetic#“Wow! Akutagawa is so cool and invincible now!” *ends up biting the dust not even two chapters later*#It's okay because I love him. He's very very powerful and he's also very very pathetic I love that for him#That said :/ I don't really care about Fukuzawa :/ Idk :/ Like :/#Don't get me wrong I LOVE Fukuzawa (I don't. I'm mostly neutral towards him) but this is the ss/kk moment man :/ Whatchu doin#That's about it. Let's see what the next chapter brings!#Everything accounted for I'm glad there wasn't like. A ss/kk kiss or any other big big ss/kk moment#(although Atsushi admiring Akutagawa and thinking about his eyes has its fair share of neatness to it!!)#Because with everything going on this evening I really would have been let down to miss it#But I keep hope for the next chapters!! Please...#random rambles#Had tons of fun typesetting! Even though I don't think there's a point in posting it now. But would love to do it again in the future!#bsd spoilers
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Chomp.
bonus video :3
#zeisty’s heavy hitters#doctor who#doctor who fanart#the tenth doctor#10th doctor#tw blood#tw eye contact#tw eyestrain#for the red. potentially. let me know if i should remove that tag#tw cannibalism#tw self cannibalism#self cannibalism#just in case tag#for my peeps who need that tagged#listen. i have. ideas. and get inspired by things very randomly#oh one more just in case tag.#tw flashing#for the bonus video. because it appears as though it's flashing due to the speed in one area#hm. due to another part i maybe should leave that eyestrain tag on#if there's another thing you should know about me is that i can post two pieces within the span of two hours#and can be a menace for that reason alone. i'm just also able to choose not to do that
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Midnight Rant #5 billion and 12 on Charmcaster and Kevin- That woman's fucking AF premiere.
Because we have Kevin, very obviously in a very bad place. He's being retraumatized, his girl's cut back hard on spending time with him with no explanation, our boy is going through it. And then he makes a friend, according to WoG over the course of a few months, in a grown woman. And it's great, it's fine, and then she starts macking on him. And then she plants a kiss on him despite him shutting her down. And while doing that she literally takes control of his damn mind, just fucking harpoons that poor boy's bodily autonomy, forces him to turn against his loved ones. All because she never actually gave any sort of shit about him and from the very start was using him to get to and hurt his girl. This relationship that he thought was forming for months was all a ruse, her using him and then abusing him. And this is
So painful for poor Gwen. Can you believe that Kevin didn't have faith that her pulling back with no explanation meant she was working hard to fix him, after the whole three-odd months they'd been together? And to have Charmcaster come back starting problems. Oh poor Gwen, everyone is so mean to her.
And it's not just in the fucking show, it's in the fandom as well, this idea that the shit Kevin goes through matters in how it affects Gwen and not in how it would have to affect him. Just, that had to be such a fucking painful if not straight up traumatizing event. Charm fucked with his goddamn mind. She made him think she cared about him only to hurt him.
Congrats, Charm, I'd say you were only a few steps below Servantis but he at least let the kids have a degree of autonomy and wasn't on screen macking on them. Slow clap, you're even keel.
Just, I sometimes remember that we have a whole episode surrounding Kevin, already openly in an awful headspace, being groomed and straight up mindcontrolled, and the big take-away is how much the situation hurt Gwen and how bad a boyfriend he is for not reading her damn mind. And it drives me up the fucking wall.
Especially when you remember that he spends that season in his underwear, I'm sorry but the parallels to the treatment of imperfect SA victims write their damn selves.
And when you also keep in mind that when Mike is pulling the 'charm them and thrall them' bit it's treated, by the show and fandom, as him being an irredeemable predator and his victims have every right to hate him forever and wish horrible things on him, but Charm gets to have the 'oh poor Charmcaster' treatment and Kevin's thinking she can go fuck herself is treated as a flaw in his character by the show and ignored by fandom.
Because in the end the disparity comes from the same place as the repeated physically abusive acts Gwen commits against Kevin, as Looma's threats being treated as humor, as Gwen's thinking they're romantic being treated as humor- plain old misogyny. Mind the misogyny isn't all of it, but the age old belief that this sort of shit committed by women against men isn't a concern, and in fact may even be treated as ridiculous, because women are too weak to hurt men plays a big role. Doesn't matter if it's a grown woman grooming a mentally ill teenager or a teenage girl shoving her boyfriend into freefall- she's just a girl so of course what she's doing isn't actually dangerous or harmful, because women aren't capable enough for such things. Which then plays into the age old sexist bullshit that men are simply too strong and rough to be hurt, and to be hurt by a girl especially- physically, mentally, however- is funny because it means they're weak.
And that's not even getting into the 'a guy is always eager' bullshittery.
Just, for the love of fucking christ...
#somebody remind me at some point to write something that really hits on how much that must have fucking hurt kevin#especially when you keep in mind that the boy has dreams where everyone he knows is out to hurt him like#and just his everything from the two times he mutated in uaf#boy clearly already has issues with how other people think of him their intentions#and a deepseated fear of the people he loves turning on him#which make a lot of sense when you consider 1) as mentioned in a different post it's very likely og!kevin *was* abandoned rather than ranof#2) he's part of a minority group we have every reason to believe is subject to prejudice and ostracism#3) boy was a fucking homeless kid on the streets then in the null void and then trying to make a name in crime around the galaxy#just#gods the shit he went through that night must have hurt so fucking bad#to trust someone and have them pull that shit with you- to learn they'd always intended to do this and never gave a singular shit about you#to be forced to act against the person you love#you're honest as you can be about the situation and it just gets you in more trouble#learn that being hurt by your girl's earlier behavior in fact means you're the problem and a bad partner#because you should have just *known* the information she shared with other people but didn't bother to tell you#poor fucking kevin gets betrayed assaulted mindcontrolled *and* shamed as a bad boyfriend for being hurt his girl pulled away from him#all in the same damn night#on top of all the other shit he was dealing with#i can only hope he let himself have a good fucking cry when all was said and done#didn't try to deny himself it due to the fact that he's again made out like a fucking *problem* in this of all episodes#because gods know he fucking deserves one#achi rants
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Does anyone else get the feeling that at their core, all of mxtx's works are about cycles of abuses.
#idea dump#ramblings of a sleep deprived girl#heaven official's blessing#tian guan ci fu#scum villian self saving system#mao dao zu shi#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#mxtx#mo xiang tong xiu#cycle of abuse#I don't only mean the passing down of trauma#I also mean the abuses of an established corrupt system#that systematically hurts people that are less fortunate than those who actively benefit from it#to me this one is more prevalent in mdzs and why jin guangyao downfall is so upsetting to me#because he was coming close to breaking the cycle of abuse of both the system and of his family#but unfortunately it was his past actions in service of perpetuating it that doomed him#if he had realized a lot sooner that his father was not worth it#and started pursuing his own interests from the beginning instead of his father's approval he could have changed everything for the better#not to mention that unlike his father he actually treats his spouse with respect and doesn't intentionally hurt her#emphasis on the 'intentional' part (if you know you know)#just like Jin Guangyao became the new wei wuxian Nie Huaisang became the new Jin Guangyao#so i'm of the firm belief that since the system is still in place the cycle will repeat again#and Nie Huaisang will replace Wei Wuxian as someone else becomes his Jin Guangyao#sorry for this long ass essay in the tags lol#it's 3am so I'll probably do the other two another time#also let it be known that I'm only running on spoilers/fanfictions/wiki when it comes to svsss and mdzs#so if anyone bothers to read my essay tags be free to correct anything if I get something wrong#side note why wasn't mdzs about breaking cycles???#why didn't yanli become sect leader. Jiang cheng remain coreless. or Jin Zixuan marry into the Jiangs to show worth outside the norms#you can be a strong woman without being cruel. cultivation doesn't equal worth. and powerful women are beautiful and should be respected
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i'm never entirely sure if the term "captain-class" includes lieutenants (personally, I think it's people who have or are close to having bankai, which would obviously include Ikkaku so whatever), but assuming he was allowed to pick lieutenants, imagine being Renji and being told to pick the three people you'd most want to have with you to go to another world and wait for a war to crack open
(alternatively, imagine an au where the advance team was abarai & kuchiki & hinamori & kira & hisagi, the shining stars of shin'ou class of 2066 + their favorite sempai)
#advance team arc#nerd squad#don't get me wrong the melancholy vibe of the advance team is everything to me#but part of the melancholy is who is here and who is not and who should be#the thing about bleach is that it's not just big tragedies it's a million little tragedies like this too. just tragedies all the way down#hinamori and hisagi would have been *so good* at being in the living world and befriending the karakura kids#kira maybe not so much but he's smart and good in a fight and WHO KNOWS maybe he has some advice on being depressed#i think kira and ishida would get along really well if they ever had the chance i will die on this hill#let renji run the advance team it was his team let him be great#let's be real hitsugaya probably would have preferred to be back in soul society doing two squads worth of paperwork anyway#maybe matsumoto can still be on the advance team reader's choice on that
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Lately I've been missing my family a bit and I have to keep reminding myself how much I wanted to die literally every day while sharing a house with them lmao like it's. Wild how easy that is to forget
#its....complicated#because i cant hold a grudge against anybody for long#and like. ive done a FUCKTON of soul searching and self analysis since then and i know i did things wrong too#and its. so so easy to just let all that blame and guilt fall on myself#but i cant do thar#because it *wasnt* all me. somebody doesnt try to kill themself multiple times jist for kicks there HAS to be a motovator#and yeah that was my mother lmao no two ways about it#but its...foggy. ive had almost 2 years without her and im losing some of the dread#which is good but at the same time. idk. i guess something something when you carry pain as a part of yoy for so long#its difficult to put it down#theres certain conversations i havent read since they happened but maybe i should just to remind myself#like...i left for a reason. i cut ties for a reason.#i need to remember that
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