#let me have my breakdown in peace thanks <3

[eirian]

incredible how i was fine mentally the entire week i was off social media and now that im back on it my mental health has tanked again. awesome

[showstopper35]

Hello! Do you still write for Tfp/Transformers Prime? If so, I have a request!

Maybe ‘cons reacting to reader dealing with a person that caused a lot of childhood trauma? If this is something that makes you uncomfortable, feel free to ignore it!! I just am dealing with a person who wasn’t the greatest to me as a kid and would really like some headcanon comfort <3

again, feel free to ignore and remember to take care of yourself!

of course! thanks so much for the request, darlin’! I hope you are doing well and my DMs are open if you ever need to talk. 💛

Megatron

-He knows. He knows how it feels to be scorned in your youth. He knows how much you hurt. He also knows that he wouldn’t be the best at comforting you, so he provides a distraction. -Every time you come to him an anxious, frustrated mess because of them, he takes you to stargaze or to read or just sit on the top of the ship in peace. -Megatron entertains you will tales of when he was younger, fighting for the freedoms he still believes in. You know he’s been hurt too and there’s a comfort in knowing you both still are yet to move on from that past, and that’s okay. You’ll confront it when you are stronger.

Starscream

-He’s not…the best at comforting people. But he is angry. So angry. Why would anyone hurt you? Especially when you were so small? He’s felt small every day of his life, he can’t imagine what sort of monster does that to a sparkling.

-Honestly, he turns into an outlet for your rage. Want to scratch something up? He finds things for you to break, things for you to throw. It's not the most healthy, but when has anything he ever done been?

-When all your anger has been exhausted, he just sits with you. That helps more, and he knows that, but he won't say anything. And that's okay.

Knockout

-Out of all the cons I think he would be the most helpful. He pampers you, taking you on long drives and god-awful drive-in movies to distract you. He's also willing to just listen to you vent to him while he's working in the medbay.

-If the harmful person comes back, you can bet he's got his saw blade out and will not hesitate to bring them down. He provides you with a free escape ride if you are ever in an uncomfortable situation.

-He is always, always ready to shower you with compliments, especially when he picks up that you've had a bad day. And if you don't feel like telling him what's going on, he will distract you with the randomest stories about himself. It always makes you laugh.

Breakdown

-You better believe that this guy's got hugs for days for you. After many, many, many threats to whomever is hurting you, he sits with you and listens to you vent.

-His attempts at reassuring comments aren't the best, but he tries. He'd much rather go pound the jerk to dust, though.

-He somehow smuggles a shitload of chocolate and ice cream up to the Nemesis for you. Most of the ice cream melts before you can eat it, but it is still delicious.

Arachnid

-The person who is hurting you is never seen or heard from again :)

-You don't mention it and neither does she.

Soundwave

-You better believe that you will never go anywhere near your abuser again. He keeps tabs on them, removing you from anywhere within a 5-mile radius of them. If you do happen to meet them, he is sending Laserbeak and they have roasted limbs from lasers.

-Records everything you say they did and privately keeps it just in case. Not to blackmail them or to send them to the police, of course.

-Lets you play with Laserbeak and pulls up comforting and funny videos to watch with you. He is as silent as ever, but that doesn't change the fact that he cares about you.

Dreadwing

-He pretty much becomes your personal bodyguard. It's a little strange at first, but you get used to his presence and sweet insistence in accompanying you everywhere, especially if you encounter your abuser.

-You can bet that if anything ever happens again with that person, they will go down in a firey explosion orchestrated by his own hand.

-Sucks at speaking to you (about anything, really. he's so stiff.), but when he cleans his weapons, he is happy to listen to you.

Shockwave

-Ah yes, Mr. no emotions. He tries...I think. He'd rather give you some weapon of mass destruction than listen to you detail all of your abuse. I mean, it's a solution, I guess.

-He makes you watch the seekers to learn self-defense and also read some Cybertronian literature on battle tactics.

-At least you can punch now and use poisons?

Predaking

-After learning what had happened to you, he refuses to let you leave his side for weeks. He cares for you and distracts you by terrorizing Starscream on the ship.

-Eventually, though, he accompanies you to meet with the abuser. You talk with them for a bit before he comes crashing down in his dragon form, scaring them into oblivion.

-It felt really good.

[shkudss]

Weakened by Eywa Pt. 4

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |

Summary: Ao'nung finally realizes that his actions have consequences

Warnings: curse words, bullying, mental breakdown, English isn't my first language

Author's note: I plan to write 1-2 more parts and finish it! I hope you’ll like this part🫶🏻

Yawntutsyip - darling, little loved one

Tsmukan - brother

Sa’nu - mommy

Metiyawn - love (plural)

“It’s fine, you’ll be fine.”

You don’t know how it happened, but you are cuddling up to Ao’nung's warm chest. His arms hugging you and body softly swaying to calm you down. He whispers random words to make you feel better, but you don’t really listen to them, swallowed by thoughts.

“Don’t worry. I’m here, you’ll be fine. They don’t hate you.”

“He’s disappointed. I betrayed him.” You kept crying and shaking.

“Shhh, he’s not. It’s fine.” His hug was so warm and comfortable, you almost fell asleep after you finally calmed down. You had no tears and emotions left after this. You felt even more drained than before fight with Ao’nung.

Fighting with family is against your nature.

“I’m sorry, Ao’nung. I wasted your time…” you said as you tried to stand up and clean yourself up.

“No you didn’t. Don’t worry about it. I’m glad I could be here to support you.” He suggested his hand for you to stand up properly and couldn’t help but rub your hand with his thumb a little. You blushed at this action and lowered your gaze. It felt intimate. The whole situation was intimate.

“Thank you, Ao’nung. I’m really thankful for this.”

“You shouldn’t be. I owe you and I’m not sure if one apology can make up everything I said and did to you. I was a real skxawng and asshole.” You chuckled a little at his last words, kept sniffling a little after tears.

“Yeah, you were worse that skxawng. But I accept your apologies. I’m glad you understood that your actions weren’t good. Just don’t make same mistakes and let’s live in peace.” You gave him a soft smile, looking right into his eyes. Ao’nung didn’t expect you to forgive him so easily. “Friends?” You opened your arms for him to hug. Ao’nung was numb, trying to process what did you just said and expect him to do.

Friends… at least friends.

“Friends.” He smiled a little and came closer to wrap his arms around you as gentle as you were the more fragile thing in the world. “Thank you, Y/N.”

***

“Neteyam, what happened? Where’s your sister?” Neytiri was worried about the the state of her son and the fact that he didn’t bring you with him. He was really angry and didn’t want to tell anything.

“Ask your daughter. She knows everything better than us.”

“Why do you say that? Tell me what happened? Did you argue?”

You entered your family pod at exact same moment Neteyam was about to tell about your argument.

“She will tell you.” He looked at you offensively and turned back. You brows were drawn together in sadness as you looked at him and remembered his words.

“Y/N, what happened?”

“I met with Ao’nung.” Silence in the room made you nervous but you kept going. “He asked me for forgiveness and I accepted his apologies. Before you say anything about it I want to let you know that he understood everything and sincerely wishes to live in peace. I saw it in his eyes, he changed.” You tried to sound confident though you were afraid to see regret in your mother’s eyes. That’s why you didn’t look at her. You don’t have courage for this, not after Neteyam’s words.

Nobody said anything. You nervously clenched your fingers. One minute of silence felt like century.

“Do you believe him?”

“I do.”

“Then I believe you, my daughter.”

You looked at Neytiri in disbelief and gratitude. You needed this. Trust. That’s what Neteyam didn’t give to you, but you don’t blame him. He suffers as much as you.

“Thank you, sa’nu.” You hugged her so hard, letting out all bad feelings that you carried for so long. Tears started falling down again and you didn’t try to stop it. You needed this, you needed to go through all this pain to heal. And finally, that’s the moment of it.

“Tsmukan…” you called Neteyam hesitantly, being afraid of his reaction. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

“I know. I’m sorry too. I was listening only my emotions, but not you. That wasn’t right, my yawntutsyip.” He gave you his big brother smile that filled your heart with warmth.

You finally in peace.

Not in pieces.

“Oel ngati kameie, ma metiyawn”

***

After that day, you felt like you started a new life. You negative thoughts don’t bother you anymore and you feel like you can be yourself. The rest of the family reacted positively on your conversation with Ao’nung. Lo’ak tried to “talk” to him once again, but you and Neteyam could stop him and change his mind.

“Y/N, let’s try once again. I’m sure you can do it.” Tsireya volunteered to teach you how to ride ilu today and everything was good except the fact that you still couldn’t keep in your seat.

“Do you still believe I can do this?” You chuckled but came closer to the creature and took a position.

“I promise it’s the last time for today. Don’t move fast, hold her firmly”

You tried to follow her advice but your attempt wasn’t successful as the previous ones. Splashed the water out of irritation. What’s wrong with you? Why is it so difficult to ride an ilu?

“Forest girl is still trying to tame our creatures?” Ao’nung smirked, coming closer to you. You know that he didn’t mean anything bad by saying these words. “I’ll teach you. If you won’t learn how to do it with my help, then nobody can teach you.” Tsireya rolled her eyes. You smiled at Ao’nung greeting him.

“I’ll leave you” Tsireya called her ilu to come back to the village.

“You better check on Lo’ak he was about to try to ride tsurak, but I don’t think he’ll do that without his ass being kicked.” You all laughed at this.

Once you left alone, Ao’nung called ilu for you. You sighed exasperatedly getting ready for another fail.

“Don’t make these sounds. I won’t let you go without trying at least ten times.”

“What? Do you want to exhaust me to death?”

He laughed at your comment and you really liked being friends with him. You could make funny comments about each other and there was no tension between you two anymore.

“Okay, firstly, you need to change your posture.” His big hand moved your leg a little and slightly straightened your back. “Secondly, you have not only ride her slowly, but also hold with two hands at first. You’re only beginner, don’t hesitate to use two hands.” While he was speaking, he took your second hand and placed it on another. You started feeling a little weird… shy. “And finally, you have to calm down. Breathe in slowly and breathe out slowly.” His hand now moved to your stomach, checking out your breathing. You felt goosebumps going down your spine. “Don’t panic, relax. Remember, ilu wants you to be her rider. If you feel uncomfortable, she also feels uncomfortable. You can do that, just don’t be afraid.”

You followed his advices and told ilu to ride. Surprisingly it wasn’t really fast and you could hold in a seat longer than usual. You were so excited that lost control over it and ended up losing your tsaheylu, but you didn’t care about it anymore.

“Did you see? Did you see it Ao’nung?” Bright smile on your face made his heartbeat go crazy. You were so excited about it and he was barely holding himself from kissing you. In fact, the only thing he could do was to smile at you back.

“You did a great job, Y/N. You’re not as hopeless as I thought.” You slightly punched his shoulder and laughed. “Want to try it again?”

“And you ask?”

————————————————————————

A/N: Yaaay, finally something between them is happening! I’m so excited to step on more peaceful and romantic side of this story🥹 Please, share with your opinion on my writing in comments! Even though I don’t always have time to reply, I read everything🫶🏻

If I missed you, plz text me!

Taglist: @elegantkidfansoul @ijwsbdinp @universal-s1ut @myh3artt @lynbubble @jjkclub @kenzi-woycehoski @marvellover4 @ssc7514 @stvrligghtt @johfaam @simplecole18 @flavaliz @chrisbelle @bajadotcom @jak3suiiyscvmslvt @a--1--1--3 @roxannedaybreakermidnight @aonungmyaddiction @neteyamsmate4life @boilingpots

[bonesxbows]

Weeping Dawn (Gale x Reader)

My Masterlist

You have a breakdown and seek out Gale for comfort. I didn't describe what was bothering Tav so it's versatile for any reader.

(WARNINGS) - descriptions of crying

I haven't written anything in so long lol so this is much shorter than all of my other works as I get used to writing longer pieces again. Regardless I hope this helps anyone who reads it <3

-

“Gale?” You appeared in front of his tent, pulling back the entrance flap tentatively.

“Yes? What can I do for you?” He replied, placing the book in his hands down and smiling up at you. His face fell however when he saw your state. His brown eyes crinkled in worry and his eyebrows fell in concern. “Is everything alright my dear? Pardon my obvious observation but you don’t look like yourself.” He stood up, but slowly so as to not startle you, and beckoned you to come inside and out of the night’s chill. You followed his call, walking inside his tent and wringing your hands constantly, heavily avoiding his eye contact.

“Could I…Would it be okay if I asked for a hug?” You asked, still avoiding his eyes. He wanted to chuckle at your request but held it in. It was such a trivial thing to ask for, something he would willingly give up at a moment’s notice, and yet you were acting like you had just asked him for something absurd. But then again…he had never even seen you go out of your way to touch any other companion. There was more to this request, he filed the information and his observations for later. He would ask when you were less tense. For now, he relaxed his body and smiled softly at you, hoping his calm exterior would help you relax. He outstretched his arms for you.

“Of course my love, you needn't even ask.” You shuffled forward, practically falling into his arms so forcefully it threw him off balance. He stumbled a bit but regained his posture quickly and soon became a grounding force for you with the way his arms held you upright. Even if it was a struggle for him to hold up your entire body weight he never voiced it.

You were silent but he could see your body begin to shake and soon felt hot tears begin to soak spots into his clothes. He said nothing, though there were a hundred and one things he would have liked to tell you and ask you. He let you have your moment, letting you spill all of your emotions out while he held you, rubbing soothing shapes on your back with one hand and carding his other through your hair. Soon your breathing returned to normal and the tears stopped flowing. He shifted you a little, enough so he could see your face but your body still rested against his. His eyes shone with sympathy and worry but the sight of you so sad and distraught broke his heart. He removed his hand from your hair gently and used the pad of his thumb to wipe away the remains of the tear streaks that littered your face.

“Do you wish to speak of whatever is bothering you so deeply my love?” He asked in a soft voice. You shook your head. He was curious and worried, but words were failing you that day so he would have to wait. He hated waiting, patience was not his strong suit, but he would do it for you. “That’s alright, whenever you find the words I am here to listen, I will always be here for you whenever you have need of me.” He softly smiled at you, hoping to coax some of his calmness towards you to ease your suffering. You returned the smile, or tried to at least. It made his heart feel a little lighter to know that you were at least trying.

“I…I don't know how to thank you.” Your voice was thick with salvia from crying.

“I don't require thanks, just knowing you're okay brings me peace. This is not a service to be repaid, you mean much more to me than that and I know you are aware of that.” He placed a gentle kiss on your forehead and in response you loosened yourself from his hold enough to clasp your hands in his and you showed him your appreciation through a kiss. His face twisted in surprise for a moment but soon relaxed and he returned the kiss with twice as much love and tenderness. You pulled away after and you could catch a glimpse of dissatisfaction in his face. The sight made you want to giggle but you held it in for his sake.

“Could I stay here with you in your tent tonight? Please?” It was the most confident sentence you had said all night and he could feel his heartstrings tug at your question. Not a bone in his body could deny you your request even if he wanted to. He kissed you again quickly but softly and his puppy dog eyes lit up with happiness.

“Of course my love, I could never say no to a request like that from you.”

[jolynesmom]

I hate to share this but I don't have anyone to talk. It's been so long I've discovered about void and since then I've always wanted to manifest "family Change " in the void cause my mother. I don't want to make her the villian in my life but I can't help she literally abuse me everytime and says the filthiest, dirtiest things which I swear no parents says to their children and even my dad doesn't stop her . Everyday I having a mental breakdown and I go to bed with the hope that I will enter the void and I don't have to face the same day tomorrow again. To be honest I don't know how can I enter void at this low . I've been literally loosing hope. I feel like the void actually a void which will never come to me

hey I’m so sorry to hear that :(( my heart breaks every time someone comes to me saying they’re abused by their family. it’s such a disgusting thing and I’ll never wrap my head around on how someone can do this to their child

I really wish I could do something for your situation, but all I can do is give you a few words of advice

before anything I want to let you know that you shouldn’t feel guilty for villainizing your parents. such things are not normal and should not be excused. your parents should be thankful that the only thing you want from them is a healthy relationship after what they’ve put you through

let’s address the first issue. you’re not motivated to enter the void because you’re brought down by your circumstances. a lot of you seem to forget that the law of assumption exists and you can use it to successfully change your circumstances instantly without entering the void state. hell, you can use law of assumption to enter the void!! use the law of assumption to make your parents leave you alone or to even do a 180° in their behavior

I was actually in a similar position before entering the void where I was demotivated to even try because of my dad’s behavior towards me, so I used the law of assumption to make his stop being so harsh towards me. not only did he start to be nicer to me, but he even moved back to our home country due to some circumstances while I stayed in the uk, since then I’ve only known peace

if you don’t want to use loa to change your circumstances (which you should) then use the negativity in your life to fuel your motivation to enter the void. like ‘everyone treats me so bad, let’s see their reaction after I fulfill my desires and they’ll remain miserable here’

I feel like a broken record because I’ve said it so many times, but entering the void is embarrassingly easy. like I mean it, it’s so easy once I almost tapped into it while I laid down for 3 minutes waiting for my food to heat in the oven. and the great part about the void is that you don’t need a great mindset or to be overly motivated to try a complex method that will take you 3 hours to finish, you can just say ‘I want to enter the void’, fall asleep and wake up there

this is why I don’t like those challenges people do to change their mindset, affirm 100k times per day, listen to subs 25/8, do complicated meditations, vaunt or whatever. if you want to do them and feel like they’ll take you closer to the void, by all means go off, but you absolutely do not need them lol

when I entered the void for the first time I didn’t do anything special, I actually didn’t even think it’s possible to do it without yoga nidra then I tapped into it instantly when I was in a state between asleep and awake and said to myself that I want to enter the void asap

so yeah, use loa, treat everything with indifference and persist even if your circumstances are unfavorable

I’ll link some posts below that will hopefully give you some direction and motivation to persist

sending you lots of love and positive energy 🤍

🫐jani’s law of assumption guide

🍓 manifestation/loa is your bff

🥝psa: you can manifest anything

🍊 manifestation in 3 steps

🍑 doubting the void?

🍒 lullaby method to enter the void (personal favorite)

🥥distraction method to enter the void state

🍇 arlinski void state method

I also suggest you to check out @/tia-222 on tumblr because they have amazing posts which helped me master the void state in less than 3 weeks

[coffeegnomee]

I read the Mering essay in the aftermath of ls Sunday, and the shift in the major conflict from what we saw in s4 with Vitalasy and Zam to this new tension with the new players and rp is so fascinating.

With the meeting on Monday, we saw a breakdown in composure from pb&j when the Players refused to show up to the anti-trapping box (so proud of the Players for finally putting their foot down). It was something that bothered me when I first watched it. 

They took such a small conflict, one that they have created for themselves with the arrow cannon (hello the consequences of your actions), and it was the most tense part of the entire meeting.

And it hit me that Minute&co see Lifesteal more as a recording server than a place of Play. Conversations about rules should be done non-canonically, behind the scenes, away from the cameras. But if they have to be in the script (“script”), everyone should show up so the recording can be pretty. 

We’ve seen this before. Conversations on motive shouldn’t be brought up over and over, pvp should be limited for ease of editing, conflicts like blowing up bases shouldn’t be done more than once so it doesn’t get repetitive.

But that’s not Lifesteal. It’s an unscripted free-for-all where every single player gets to have a say in what they themselves do, and it can be wildly unpredictable. The goal is to play, literally have creative fun, within that world and craft a conflict and story within that.

Ro’s line “I feel like- nah - I feel like it’s honestly cooler that like, now there’s no more higher power left. Like it’s down to the players, like this is a human story, not like a let’s get god to revive everyone” 

And Jumper claps back with “and then what do we get out of this”. 

Jumper is looking for a recording solution. Her recording has been messed up a Lot. Woogie, Vortex, Planet, and Terrain have all died. Zam and Mapic and Bacon have all died and now Pangi and Spoke are basically dead since they’re being possessed. 

This vision of a peaceful ending is gone. And pb&j Need a recording-server Kingsmp/Civ event-type plugin to add a revive beacon (something, can I say on the side, exists within Lifesteal already. But thanks to the presidency arc has been taken away. They could advocate for the complete removal of all presidential decisions and I would love that, to have a vanilla Lifesteal ending like season 3, but it is too late. But they do have 86-odd hearts. Reviving everyone would be trivially easy)

Or they could be moved by the narrative and see that the peaceful option? It was never possible on this server. But that's an rp solution soooo

(I love them anyway)

——-

Hey guys, I’ve been a vod-only watcher since the Eclipse betrayal, and I’m finally saying hello! Live streams are painful for me to watch since I’m a chronic pause-to-freak-out-about-the-lore-before-moving-on (or when I’m just deaf), so unfortunately I’ll probably never be in chat. 

But mer’s essay has actually reframed my entire mind about Lifesteal this season and I can actually enjoy watching this conflict unfold, all four days we have left of it, so, thank you Mer! 

[yuniniverse]

OH MY GODDDDD YOUR ACCOUNT IS THE BEST TBH ugh i am so lucky i wanna gate keep like girl you are too good to be trueeee i have been reading for a while and now i wanna make a lil request it goes smth like this we all know minjae hates being called short what if he finds a friend that hypes him up and tells him they are the same and stuff like that and they are friends from the same training program and she was under sm like him back then and stuff like that idk sorry if i bothered but really girl i love like I LOVE YOUR WRITING SOOOOO MUCHHHH 🩷🩷🩷

PAIRING !  ━ idol!minjae x idol!reader

GENRE !  ━ Friends to strangers(?) To lovers, fluff, seems rushed I'm so sorry TvT, slight angst

WORD COUNT !  ━ 2445 words

AUTHOR NOTE ! ━ I kid you not when I saw this I nearly cried because of how sweet you are :( I'm so sorry for the delay love uni is shit esp with all my sem end exams but thank God I have a few days off so I can work back on requests~ I hope you like it <3

SONG RECCS ! ━ Stardust Lovesong by Jihyo, Whispers of Love by Lim Hayoung

dm to be in my taglist!!

The speakers blared through the studio while minjae sat in one corner, his head turned to face the computer that lit the dim room and played their debut song, spacing out completely, draining out the noise to muffled sound of the song as his mind thinks of a hundred things, things that made him feel not so great, mad even.

Recalling memories of how excited he was a week back, jumping around like a kangaroo as his members gave him a playful questioning look as they all looked at their first ever concert costumes. Everyone was busy talking about it, the maknaes calling junghoon to brag about how excited they were and showed off a few steps as spoilers for the concert as they huddled together and screamed at junghoon who just wanted to sleep if it weren't for seeun spamming his phone and disrupting his peaceful slumber.

The entire way from KQ to their venue Minjae was the happiest and didn't even try to hide it, he dragged his members around to make tiktoks that he could post later and even dragged yujun around forcing the poor boy, who just wanted to eat in peace,the venue which seemed so pretty to him. But it all dimmed when he saw all the members get compliments while he just got taunted for his height, he loved roadys and sure they were just joking around, but he can't help but feel hurt.

"MINJAE!" He snaps out of trance, jumping on his feet as he hears you scream his name, "you spaced out for a while, you ok?" You asked. Minjae smiled, he knew if anyone only you would understand his struggles, both of you were the leaders of your group and have been training together, transferring from sm to kq and helping each other with debuting. He shook his head and stood up, making his way to you as he put on a forced smile. You on the other hand knew something was going on, your worries only grew when you saw a tear slip from his eye, which he immidiately wiped off, looking away in order to avoid your upcoming lecture. You only hugged him to which he responded back by hugging you, his embrace grew tighter as he did his best to hold back tears but let go as soon as he felt your hand rub circles on his back, his mother would always rub circles on his back whenever he was down or was afraid he wouldn't debut and you stood there watching with a smile, this gesture made him realise he was homesick too but couldn't go back home yet. He couldn't help but cry onto your shoulder to which you could only console him by back rubs. "Sorry" he mumbled as he snuggled and wiped away his tears, backing away from the hug. Confused, you ask why and he says "You're leaving next week for your groups tour and promotions, the last thing you'd want to see is me crying" he says as he looks at you with glistened eyes, you insisted it was fine, he was your friend, someone who you loved even but was too shy to tell him, to see him breakdown shattered you. You held his hand, taking him to the nearest convenience store and bought him ramen, helping him sneak the packets into his dorm before junmin catches him and lectures the two of you how it's bad for your health. It was only after you heard minjae giggle for the first time in that day did you leave him alone, dropping him to his dorm and running back to yours.

You felt happy that you helped him, even happier when you heard his giggles. You wished you could hug him for hours and tell him how much you loved him and how proud you were of him for being so strong when situations weren't siding with him. However all the happiness you had was drained when you saw your members running around the form, packing their stuff, You asked your manager what was going on and your manager said how your group had to leave the first thing tomorrow morning as your schedules got leaked and your company couldn't risk in any of your groupmates or you to be hurt as a similar incident took place earlier when your group first debuted and it resulted to your you get members getting hurt the most and having to skip one or two schedules because of the injuries they had gotten. You nod, following your members to your room as you rush to pack your things. It was when you were done is when you realised you didn't tell minjae. Especially since it would be a month or so till you came back to Korea from tour and individual schedules.

You text him but ofcourse it was way past midnight at the time and with how junmin behaved more motherly to minjae than minjaes own mother, you thought probably he was asleep. Your assumption turning out to be true as you checked your phone in the morning again, before you left you checked one last time only to your dismay as the message left as unread.

It was only after your plane took off and you were allowed to turn on your phone after the plane was in cruising altitude did you see your phone blowing up with messages, you smile at minjaes dramatic messages but also felt slight sadness as you two couldn't say your goodbyes properly.

Minjae, although his texts being way over dramatic, was sad as well. He wanted to be there for you as well. His heart warmed up when you hugged him, the tip of his ears reddening as he remembers the sweet words you said as you rubbed his back. It wasn't the fact that he was homesick or that he was down at roadys remarks about him, he cried the most when he realised he was in your arms. You were his weakness, his everything. He always adored how you would care to everyone's needs, in his eyes you were the perfect leader. His heart melting at how you'd always comfort your members, be it hugging them or calling up their family and making their favourite dishes even if it was your first time just to see your members cherry selves. How you'd always be so soft and considerate with your fans. He saw everything from afar, he saw you grown in his eyes. The first time you came to sm, it was after he had been a trainee for a year. Your eyes shining as you saw your seniors practice, the way you jumped when you got your routines correct, to how you cried and laughed in his arms after your debut. He held every moment he spent with you close to his heart.

So it's safe to say how it would always be like he was missing a part of him whenever you went for tours or just away from him in general. His feelings for you growing more and more day after day, he felt like he was falling in love with you all over again whenever he saw you smile or heard your laughs.

You on the other hand was questioning life, mostly the youngest and the oldest. You caught them eating ice creams peacefully as they watched the other two other maknaes run around, the rest of the members joined in, throwing pillows around the hotel room and causing chaos, at midnight. You slapped your head on your forehead, picking up the fallen pillows, your face defeated at the room being such a mess. You glared at the oldest who was deemed to be the "mother of the group" just standing there trying to stifle her laugh. You threw a pillow at one of your members when they laughed at you, causing another round of pillow fight. All of your hair and clothes being disheveled as laughter echoed throughout the room. It was only when your manager walked in did you guys stop. There was a moment of silence, all knowing they were gonna get their ice cream privileges away again, after all your company was famous for weird bans. You stood up and bowed, your hand swinging around motioning your members to scatter off to their rooms, to which all of them did with giggles. Your manager stood there defeated. Handling ten girls was way worse than babysitting any child. He only sighed, knowing your stylists are gonna be mortified at the condition of your hair being all over the place and trying to fix all ten of you girls.

After what seemed like eternity, you were at the airport back again, waiting for your flight back to Korea. You couldn't help but excitedly text minjae everything that happened, the past month was amazing for both you and your members. Everything seemed too perfect, from how you had fun in stages to late night screaming coming from rooms because you guys wanted to play some games but resulted to cheating and some biting.

It was all too perfect to be too true. You should've seen this come to a stop as you landed back to Korea. Your laughs were interrupted by your manager running to you, telling you guys to hold to each other close as the schedules were leaked again and the entire airport was packed with reporters and fans. You could see your members getting worried. You did as you were told, you trailed behind, holding onto one of the members hand as you tried your best to shield all of them from the mobbing. All your efforts going to vain as stepping outside the airport led to more crowd, your eyes teared up at the sight of your members being pushed down, some having their yanked, you were too scared, trying your best to get out of the situation and keeping your head low, holding onto your members hands tightly. Although you girls managed to get inside the bus, seeing how some cried because of how they were hurt both physically and mentally, some "fans" even cursing at them in the airport. You felt helpless. It was as if the perfect life came to an abrupt stop. You put on a smile for them, trying to cheer them up. Ofcourse your mind was clouded with several things as well. With how people always called you a "cheap copy" of your seniors, your members labelled with even worse names.

You sighed, plopping down on the sofa with your bag, your eyes followed your silent members walk to their rooms and settle down quietly. The silence was too much, especially for a group that always had their staffs running with a baseball bat thinking someone broke in because of how much they screamed. You missed it. They would get better, you knew that, but the fact that you couldn't protect your group made you feel like the worse leader possible. You wanted to let it out, but you couldn't. You felt you were being too dramatic.

But the entire form remained silent, only slight glances were made to your manager who visited to keep track of the girls who were injured. You were scratched too, but you were too caught up to notice. You stand up, telling your manager that you'd be going for a walk, giving a small smile to the girls as a way of saying your ok just that you needed some fresh air to clear your head.

You didn't even notice you weren't speaking to minjae as you two did. You felt guilty for it all. The fear of loosing everyone you loved just because you were 'confused' was too overwhelming. Before you knew it, tears rolled down your cheeks to your chin. You sobbed silently as each step you took seemed heavier than the other. The fact that you thought you were drifting away from minjae made you feel as if your entire world was crumbling down.

Fortunate to you, it started pouring, your tears were disguised as raindrops on your face. "Y/n?" You stopped walking, you could hear your heart beating as you recognised the voice. You couldn't turn around, not when you look like a mess.

Minjae walked up to you, his smile grew wider as he recognised the back of your head, his smile immediately dropped as he saw your glistening eyes, you kept insisting it was the rain but minjae could see right through you. You eventually gave in, you rant out to him, feeling so hopeless, you were supposed to be his comfort and yet here you were having a breakdown yourself. He steps forward to hug you, letting go of the umbrella as he held you so softly, him pushing you lightly towards the streetlight as your back rested against the pole, patting your head as he rests his chin above your head, muttering a bunch of 'its ok' as you first his shirt in your hands and sob into his chest. Only when you calmed down did he break the hug, his hands on your shoulders as he stared at you. His eyes flickering to your lips, his heart racing at how you were pouting, your face best red from all the crying and staying so close to him. He inches his face towards you, his eyes still staring into yours. His hands cup your cheek as he whispers 'may i?' to which you close the gap instead, you feel him smiling against your lips as he kisses you soft and slow, his one hand going to your waist and pulling you closer. Minjae breaks the kiss, smiling as he lays another kiss at the tip of your nose. "You are the best leader I've ever known, don't ever doubt yourself ever again because you are truly one of the best people I've ever met" he says as he kisses the top of your head.

"I wish we were together in all our lives and in all the universes" you say as you held his hand while walking, smiling at how red minjae had gotten hearing your words, he looks at you, kissing the back of your hand that is still intertwined with his, still maintaining eye contact with you

"I know we are lovers in every universe and in every life time" he says, you clear your throat in an attempt to calm your rapidly beating heart. He laughs at you and pulls you with your hand to steal another kiss from you, mumbling 'cute' in between the kisses.

[wexhappyxfew]

12 on Subtle Love for Judy and Rosie? Simply cannot get enough of them ❤️

JAMIE HEYYYY!!!! thank you so much first of all for dropping this in the askbox :) very very appreciated on my end + it's for judy and rosie, my two sweetbeans who deserve nothing but the best, so truly, thank you!! i was inspired by the intimacy of sharing in the quiet moments and in this case, this piece hit me a bit harder than others. we come to judy in a time where she's wrangling some of the loses that the group experiences, over and over. and she's trying to find some anchor to hang onto in this ferocious sea that continually knocks her down, over and over......and rosie happens to be that anchor :)

looking out for me

(a/n): for the judy x rosie girlies :') in the midst of finals season, but needed a break from biophysics for the brain and landed on a judy x rosie piece that i'd been playing around with for a few weeks and finally found a place to put it in! prompt is: "You can call (talk to me) me. Day or night. I'm there for you." (changed call to 'talk to me'). please enjoy these two and the intimacy of sharing! <3

The briefing room was probably the place she felt it most.

The loss. The amount of lives that had stepped through the doors and heard that final mission, not knowing it would their final mission in life.

With the lights not on and the sun barely risen outside, it was almost peaceful. When they weren't being told that recipe for a suicide mission.

It was weird knowing Annie Bradshaw wouldn't be walking through those doors today for the mission; along with Margie or Bessie or Kennedy.

Knowing that their lives were scattered somewhere in continental Europe if they hadn't all died.

If.

Judy had gotten her tears out - it was funny, being so accustomed to death day in and day out, she got used to the names being told around the base. She just didn't expect it to be their names.

Reaching up to brush at a stray tear, Judy schooled her features a bit better than she had previously that morning when she'd woken up and Viv had watched her breakdown all alone and build herself slowly back up. None of them really wanted to have to talk about it - the four of them that were missing - especially Francis. Francis seemed to feel it deep within her enough that she was numb. Numb to it all. Judy hurt for her. One day she'd find herself better able to understand these emotions, these feelings, all those unwanted thoughts in her brain. For now, she could only sit and let them grow. She heard the door open from somewhere behind her and slowly turned her head over her shoulder.

Rosie Rosenthal stepped into the briefing room, his gaze lingering around the place, only before settling on her there in the chair. Judy watched him from across the room, the pound of her heart causing all the blood to rush to her head and her eyes, and it took all her might to stay right there in the chair instead of launching across the room to beg him to hold her and put her back together.

To get rid of this ache, this ever-present constant in her life.

Every person going down in a flying coffin, MIA or dead.

But even he couldn't do that if she couldn't even do it for herself. No one could do, especially if you couldn't do it yourself.

Judy hadn't taken the time to realize he had crossed the room, in his slow approach and settled there on the seat beside her. She watched him for a quiet moment and licked her lips.

"Not hungry?" he asked her quietly, leaning forward against his knees and looking up at her with those big, worried eyes, "I noticed you weren't at breakfast." Judy watched him, before a stubborn tear rolled down her cheek, quickly wiping it away, her hands slick with sweat, her heart pounding in her ears, loud enough for any other sense to be drowned out. She stared at him and swallowed the cry in her throat and shook her head.

"Not really." Judy managed out quickly, before looking towards the window, trying to control her breathing rate and her pounding heart, "Just needed a place to be alone….for a bit." Her vision became slightly blurred by her tears and she felt her body aching to cry, to let it all out, to get rid of this feeling and become comfortably numb. But she couldn't do that. She had to keep it in.

She could tell Rosie was taking it in, her poor mumbles of words, mulling them over and thinking all at once. His face looked more strained than usual and he seemed so still, like some sort of statue. She blinked away her tears - over and over.

"You going to be okay for the mission today?" she heard Rosie ask quietly, and there was something in his voice that made her want to cry just a little bit more.

Ever since Rosie had asked for her to be the turret ball gunner for Rosie's Riveters, she had been trying her hardest, putting out with all she could, to do her best in his eyes. There was a certain level of gaining his trust inside the plane that she had already gained outside the plane. A trust that she could operate a gun and strike down what enemy planes she could.

And he knew she was hard on herself, everyone had known that.

And with Silver Bullets being out of commission and their previous crew splintered in various groups, into Operations and HQ and all over Europe, she was still trying to convince herself she could get back to that headspace she'd been in under Annie and Captain Faulkner.

Now with her third commanding pilot, the fear she'd lose him was overwhelming.

"I will." Judy said quietly, looking over at him, his own eyes meeting her red-rimmed ones and she nodded, "I promise you." Rosie watched her; she usually never saw this much of his concerned side of him. He was usually pretty good at hiding it, at least in front of the other men and especially in front of her.

But sometimes, she'd hop out of that ball turret, sweat marks streaked across her face, burn marks on her cheeks, her hands beat-red and shaking and she'd see something flash through Rosie Rosenthal's gaze that made her want to take his worry away in any way she possibly could.

That maybe she could do something that wouldn't worry him, that would reassure him and take that fear away. Because even if he didn't show it, his eyes and that far-off look were ever-present and she saw it, even when staring at each other from across the interrogation table.

Because he'd stare at her as she spoke - citing what she saw, how many chutes, the works - and she'd watch his jaw clench and those eyes turn dark, and he'd speak solemnly almost, and an undisturbed, coldly, calm demeanor and would be by her side when they were dismissed. And he'd ask her how she was and if she needed a sit down. And he'd always have that look. One she replayed over and over in her head.

Like it was the last time he'd be seeing her get out of that ball turret.

"Well," Rosie said quietly, reaching into his inner coat pocket, revealing a neatly folded, lumpy brown bag, "then I can't have my ball gunner going up on an empty stomach so. Eat." He held out the brown paper bag and she stared at him, unsure of the offering, before taking it into her grasp and adjusting herself to sit up a bit. She looked hesitantly at the bag before looking up at him.

Watching with those persistent eyes, she slowly opened up the bag and inside was two pieces of bread, along with a sausage rolled in napkins and an orange. Her stomach, admittedly, growled at the sight and smell of food and she heard Rosie chuckle from beside her.

"Go on," Rosie said softly, his voice thrumming against her ears in a pleasant way that she'd never complain about, "here." He pulled his canteen forward and handed it to her. "Water, too." Judy watched him, in slight amazement and then met his gaze.

"Thanks, Rosie," she said quietly, "you didn't have to-"

"Don't worry about it," he said casually, and then settled into the chair and looked to her, "food's more important than anything and…I don't mind sitting here with you to make sure you enjoy it." She smiled a bit wider at his words, before digging into the bag and pulling the orange from the contents of the bag and settling it in her palm. Staring at the orange, she began to feel her eyes fill with tears and Rosie seemed to notice, leaning forward and placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Sorry," Judy managed out, reaching up to wipe at her eyes, a rather ugly sniffle leaving her nose as she nodded to the orange, "it's just….do you want half? I shared these with Bes all the time, so." Rosie held her gaze for a moment, before squeezing her shoulder warmly and nodding.

"Of course." he said, and Judy cracked out a smile towards him and sniffled again, "Big fan of oranges, ya know?" Judy let out a small laugh and she watched him grin, before she slowly began to peel the fruit, with Rosie's attentive gaze on her own downcast eyes and her slightly shaky fingertips.

"Oranges' your favorite?" Rosie asked her quietly, and Judy looked up, nodding.

“Back home, my brothers and sisters and I would always eat these. Ma made sure if we had anything, we had oranges," Judy said, a small chuckle leaving her lips, "Bes knew I loved them, so we'd usually share. All the time. And since…since she's not here, I wanted to share. With you." Rosie grinned at her, his eyes soft and lingering as he nodded. She smiled again before peeling away the rest of the bright orange outer surface. She looked up at him.

"Plus, it's rare when we get oranges in anyway, so….it's pretty special," she said, pulling the orange in half and then handing the first half to him, "for you." Rosie took the orange and smiled at her with a breathy, "Thanks." Taking a bite of the orange, that familiar and nostalgic taste flooded her mouth and she couldn't help but breathe a little easier just at that.

"Thank you, Rosie," Judy said, swallowing the orange and nodding to the bag, "it means a lot." Rosie gave her a worried smile, where it didn't quite reach his eyes and showed that maybe she had worried him more than she would ever know, but he nodded and looked to her fully.

"I know after the news, it hit you pretty hard." Rosie said, and she felt her throat tighten just at his words, the thought of what had happened, "And Judy….you know, you know you can talk to me. Day or night." Judy nodded and let a shaky smile cross her features.

"I'm there for you," he said softer this time, "you won't lose me that easy." That got a grin on Judy's face as she took another bite of the orange and met his gaze again, his baby blues watching her like it was the greatest sight to behold on base - when there were surely other things like the blue skies, or the setting sun, or the sight of one of those fortresses landing against the tarmac.

They didn't say much for the next few minutes, as they each enjoyed their halves of the orange, but Judy couldn't help but let her eyes linger on him for a moment after each bit of orange in her mouth. Watching how gently he had taken the orange from her, and how tender he still appeared now. How calm she felt sitting there next to him.

"You okay, Judy?" Blinking, she noticed that the orange was empty from her hands, and she was staring off into nothing important, and Rosie's hand was present on her shoulder. Judy met his gaze and then nodded, before covering her hand with her own.

"Yes," she said quickly, nodding again, "just, thank you Rosie. For everything. For looking out for me." Rosie smiled at her, squeezing her shoulder comfortingly, the tops of his cheeks dusting pink.

And he didn't have to say much - he just said, "Next time you get your hands on some oranges, come and find me."

Maybe oranges will be our new 'I got your back and you got mine'.

[randomgentlefolk]

CPC CHAPTER 164

I'm crying on the ground. Sobbing with my cat yet again. I feel so peaceful and destroyed at the same time.

Lambcat really said we should start the year with a breakdown huh

I'm gonna hold my breakdown until I talk about the moment.

Lance to the rescue!! Man I love that guy. I also really love how he looks in the panel I put as my pfp. He looks so soft and gentle :')

The interaction between Lance and Lorena is rising my hope that they will still be friends after the chaos ends.

This did caught me off guard lmao 😭 I'm sorry for saying this but is he implying that he has a thick skull because nahh he did himself dirty

Y'ALL IT'S THE MOMENT WE'VE (or at least me haha) ALL BEEN WAITING FOR. Lance!!! Fighting against his kingdom!!! I'm so proud of him YOU GO LANCE!!!

Huge respect for Lance and his friends tho for CARRYING THAT HUGE PILLAR LIKE WHAT. Remember when I said something along the line of "if Frederick say he's weak while he can carry an entire llama, then I'm terrified of what Lance can do"? Yea this just proved my point.

Also I'm going to keep saying that Lance is going to have a sick scar with that x mark.

I once again wonder what is the legal age for alcohol in cpc? In US and the country I live in, the legal age is 21. But I think it's 18 in UK right? If it's 18 in cpc then that makes sense because Lance is 19 and Blaine is 20 (i'm saying this because of the beer pong comment by Lance's friend)

Sheesh, I hope Leland will be defeated from the king position soon. I don't want anyone to be executed. That would be disturbing.

Oooh!! Syrah and Saffron probably showing their fighting skill in the future episodes??? I hope so!!

Thank you Maria! It's nice to see that The pastel siblings now believe that Frederick truly loves Gwen.

Feeling like your legs are paralyzed whenever you're gonna face something you're terrified of is so real :( you can do it, Frederick! I believe in you!!

LELAND CHILL???? MAN YOUR HANDS ARE BLEEDING. Eat a snickers damnit. You're not you when you're going through a heart break xd

Oh. Okay. Ouch. Massive ow. Y'know when I said how the Monika's room episode and Frederick's monologue about what he wants really hits for me? Well add this to the list because wtfff.

Aww Gwegg :( She kept blaming herself even though it really isn't her fault. What Gwen said is pretty comforting though. Them apologizing to each other </3 It really is the shit when you realize you haven't treat yourself kindly. Like when you keep wondering why everything is wrong then you look at your inner self and go "oh. That's why".

GWEN SAYING "No matter what happens, I'll never let go of you again!" HAJWHSIWBS

INTOOOOO LEELATHAE'S BACKSTORY!!

*cue 1996 batman transition*

Aww the births of The Pastel Siblings! Though Leelathae's thought during each of the births...it breaks my heart :( it seems that she view the births of The Pastel Siblings as a way to apologize for her "mistake" (in which she didn't make any mistake at all), even though it shouldn't be like that at all...

I'm surprised no animals appear at Maria's birth lol. I was really expecting for a deer or birds to suddenly appear haha.

This IS making me a bit worried though. I don't know much about child births and stuff but while it is normal to still feel pain after giving birth, is it possible that there were some complications leading to Leelathae's dead 3 years after giving birth to Gwen and Jamie? I'll let someone more knowledgeable to figure out what is happening with Leelathae since I have no idea at all.

Anyway! Finally, a close up on Pastel Siblings as babies!! I know we've seen them before in the portraits beside Jack's bed, but it's nice to see them clearer.

Initially, I was worried how Leelathae would react to Gwen, but nevermind that

I'm so happy about this scene :') Leelathae realizing how beautiful Gwen is, even calling her the most beautiful in all the land. Also her saying as long as Gwen thinks she's beautiful, then what other people think doesn't matter makes me sob. Mother love is always something so touching.

On the other hand though, it made me a little confused now on why she asked Jack to lock up the children and never let them out. Looking at one of the fast pass episode's thumbnail, maybe it's because of the witch? We're nearing the end and there are still so many questions.

And now, INTO THE PRESENT! And the moment....

*cue 1996 batman transition*

I'M. I'M GONNA CRY. The fact that Gwen doesn't recognize Leelathae?? The fact that they're wearing the same robe???

WHEN LAMBCAT SAID THERE WASN'T ENOUGH GUT PUNCHES, SHE WAS BEING FR. I don't have anything to say about this scene, but at the same time I want to say a lot about this scene. Gwen's mom telling her that she's beautiful, Gwen crying without knowing why, I'm going to cry.

But hey, Gwegg is finally whole again! True love kiss is real after all ^_^ i love how Lambcat does a little spin at the classic true love kiss. But now that Gwen is finally awake...Well, let's just wish her, Frederick, Aurelia, and Celso good luck at dealing with the officially confirmed big bad wolf/serpent, Leland.

We kinda should thank Leland a bit, though. If he wasn't there ripping off all of the thorny veins, Gwen would get pretty hurt if she still wakes up while sitting up

Yooo the newest fast pass being the final chapter of Leelathae's diary? I hope we will have our questions answered!! And the fact that there's a witch in the thumbnail...hm.

That's it for now!

Mono out! (But still in to hear your thoughts)

[glitch-pep]

Under the cut is a massive ramble that I NEED to get out of my system, because a lot has changed in the last two months or so-

Also the oc stuff on my blog has been looking like this and it's been bugging me to no end so I wanna explain some stuff below- 💀

#1

After 4-5 years of drawing on my phone with my finger, I spent my savings on a drawing tablet. It's been a giant wish of mine to have one for ages, but I never really worked up the courage to do it since it's a big financial decision and I always feel guilty about spending money... but, after months of intense contemplating I did it!

Buuut I did have a few mental breakdowns once it arrived... long story short, turns out that you can't connect a HP PC with the tablet using the USB-c cable that you get with the tablet, because the USB-c port of the PC doesn't support an additional screen display.

I did look up if you can connect them beforehand, and the internet told me that the answer is yes. You can't trust anything these days bro- 💀💀💀

After A LOT of back and forth and me trying to return the tablet because I can't use it without it being connected to the PC, they told me that I can't return it. Than after EVEN MORE back and forth, we found out that it would work with a completely different cable that I had to order seperately. I had just about enough money left for it, so I ordered it, and then it was peace and love on planet earth because it finally works now.

#2

Also, I needed a free drawing programm I could use, but problem was that my old app, Sketch Draw And Paint, has the most simple layout and functions it can have, so I was used to simplicity.

When I tested out GIMP, Krita, Inkspace and FireAlpaca, I could not wrap my head around how they worked and my lazy ass didn't feel like watching a bunch of tutorials... I was like bro let's find one that I can figure out on my own, it can't be that complicated. 💀

Everyone thank MediBang Paint for being simple enough for me to understand... if MediBang Paint has 0 fans I'm dead fr. From now on, all of my art will be drawn in MediBang Paint and on the tablet.

Is my art any better? Idk but I'm having fun so far, experimenting with stuff, slowly getting towards actually getting some oc stuff done...

...and, speaking of oc stuff...

#3

...I'm going to explain what I plan to work on in the future for each of my oc's, so, let's get started.

Mina - I'm not going to be making any more main character eene oc's, I only gotta design Mina's aunt and a different side character and add them to the characters in her lore and that's it. Mina's story is by far the most simple out of everyone. She'll just get 1 or 2 fics. This doesn't mean that I don't love her, trust me I've had some crazy ideas for her lore, but I've decided to keep it simple, because it makes sense given who Mina is.

Milo and CJ - For the sake of telling you my versions of Seasons 3 and 4 of mf, I have to slightly redesign each canon character from the main cast, figure out how to draw them and write some new lore for them, while using any info I found to characterize them somewhat properly.

I watched and overanalyzed the entirety of the webisodes and the alternative versions of them, as well as the Nickelodeon show, and I looked through the website and the wiki, all for the sake of writing down ANY piece of information I can get about the lore of this show and the characters, because I really needed to have something to work with.

I rearranged S1 a bit and put together a S2 with the webisodes. I'll talk about this eventually.

I won't be making any new main character oc's for this one, only background characters. I'm planning to write S3 and S4 in the form of fics.

Sunny and Molly - For this one I have to add a bunch of secondary and background characters, but we don't need those to begin the story, they'll be relevant later. I'm currently trying to piece together episodes and which goes where so that I can start writing it. I also gotta analyze the website a bit more, to get a feel of how to somewhat properly write the canon characters. I also have a seperate wh oc story idea in mind that I wanna get to eventually as well.

Charlie - I have to remake Charlie's intro, slightly redesign her, add 4 additional main characters, also secondary and background characters but those will be relevant later... Charlie shares her story with a bunch of other oc's. This one will definitely take me the longest, and it's the last thing on my waiting list, because I wanna tackle the easier ideas first. I do also have a seperate sm oc story in mind that I wanna get to as well.

Piper - I don't exactly know what I'm gonna do yet. I wanna see how tadc plays out, and then I'll work on setting some stuff in stone. I do have some ideas and concepts in mind, but I'm not sure in what direction I should go with it, depends upon how the story in the show will play out. (I probably won't wait for the whole show to be done, but at least 1-2 more eps would kinda help me understand where it's going.) I will work on some of the ideas tho.

As of now, I don't plan to make any new oc's for any other fandoms, mostly because I haven't gotten a good enough idea for anything yet, but also because I really wanna work towards polishing the oc's I already have.

I am setting stuff up so that I can start writing the fics. I have no idea how long this will take me, given that I got irl responsibilities to take care of too, but I'll try my best to get it done eventually.

And that's it. I hope you'll have a nice day! 💕

[rubyhoshinoamastolfo]

WTF 2024 ???

Okay so.

In September, I did a post with my kinlist (that got 25 notes, that's insane omg), and I was happy to show my feminine character kins: I wasn't that into my gender questionning...but now...

Listen (no, read), I really started to admit that I may be kind of transfem at the end of 2023 (the last two weeks): I had a big breakdown during the last work week, and I felt that it was...very open. Like, I was really able to tell how I felt. Even if it was a breakdown, so something bad, I felt very understood by my partner and their boyfriend (yes, poly couple) and I started getting transfem / femboys videos on TikTok some days later. The holidays were great and I felt better and better about my gender, even if it's still in questionning, I feel more at peace and ease.

The last argument came on the 29th because I told how I felt about my partner's relationship, that I felt left behind. It brought a crisis, but still...I'm extremely relieved that it was not exactly jealousy I was experiencing: a kind of jealousy but not the one I thought it was. I'm extremely happy to still have my partner, even I know I'm also happy to have their boyfriend by my side. He's not MY boyfriend because we don't match enough, but he's still important to me.

Didn't feel down since then (okay, school has not beaten me up yet, let's wait for it-), didn't take any medication since my big breakdown. I know things are going to change, and I will feel down again sooner or later, because of my work, my exhaustion... But I know it won't last, and I will always have people beside me.

BUT SINCE THE BEGINNING, I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT WHAT I WANTED TO.

MY KINLIST.

January means new season for anime. And this season, I watch 4-5 shows (unlike these 10 lasts seasons when I watched 2 shows maximum-).

...And I'm getting attacked. I often get kins. I use them to understand me better and to have role model, to tell to myself "this character acts like this, it could fits you well, you should try". yeah, neurospicy things, thanks anxiety.

Look, NO READ, before, I kinned nearly only male characters. Sometimes, the simp and the kin mixed together but welp, it is what it is. Now...There's Ruby Hoshino, Kyoko Hori, March 7th, Princess Syalis... AND YOU NEED TO ADD THESE ONES BECAUSE WHY ART THOU ATTACKING ME LIKE THIS????

SHE COULD SELL HER SOUL FOR FOOD. SHE CAN BE BOUGHT BY GOOD FOOD. OF COURSE I'D LOVE HER

Okay, you'd say "basic", but yeah, it is. But I love her. It's not reaaaally a kin, it's just some relatable things that sooth me, and she has ikemen around her (especially Ise)

Okay, not a kin at all. I'm just simping a lot on his demon form. As a "cute demon queen", I need demon kings for me. I'm still waiting to see more of Maou-sama and I want to see Beelzebub from "I'm the villainess so I'm taming the final boss" again. In fact, give me hot demon kings.

2024 really started greatly. Maybe because I feel like I'm starting over something, on good basis. I really hope it will last, because I love feeling like this. I never was a sad person, I'm rather a tired person, but my tireness can give me big down because my brain cannot follow everything when its tired or hungry.

I'm really meaning it. @kittyfeli and @problemskinnie , thank you so much for being here for me. You don't know how much you helped me, especially these last weeks. Everyone else too, but you two really are special. <3 <3 <3 <3

[whinlatter]

please talk about something subtle you've put in a story that you hope readers pick up on

Oh man, it was a mistake to ask me this. But I have been desperate to talk about Ginny's t-shirts in Orchards so - let's get into it 👕👚🌳🌿 (Thank you for asking and sorry I can't answer anything like a normal person.)

On Ginny's t-shirts... The slogan t-shirts Ginny wears in Orchards symbolise the dynamics between Ginny and all the people in her life in the summer of 1996, especially her relationship with Harry and the rest of the Weasley family. When Ginny wears a particular shirt, I wanted it to be both a wink to the reader about the arc of that summer - little flags for the plot and for shifting dynamics in characters' relationships - and also a way to smuggle in little headcanons about Ginny's relationships, often with her siblings (and a bonus one, for a surrogate sibling, if anyone spotted it - spoiler below the cut)

I always wondered, with all the Weasleys' secondhand clothing, what Ginny must wear. I loved the idea of her rotating her family members' old t-shirts, as a little love letter to each of them. (I like to think she has a Percy t-shirt somewhere - a t-shirt from some academic competition, no doubt - that she'll dust off and wear again after the war, when they've made their peace with each other.)

So here's a a truly deranged full breakdown of the significance of each of the t-shirts, which I've pulled from my mad writing notes document and share with anyone even a little bit interested, haaa. They're in the order they appear in Orchards, so you can hopefully see their place in the arc of the plot, and broken down by writing/plot and headcanons. Ok let's goooo! 🤸🏻‍♀️

T-shirt 1: Dragon-Tamers’ Guild, Class of 1994 (Relationship: Charlie) 🐉

Writing/plot: Ginny wears this in her opening scene, where Harry and Ron come up to demand she joins them in two-a-side Quidditch. T-shirt 1 had to be a Dragon Tamers' t-shirt, given Ginny's about to spend the summer taming one particularly grouchy dragon (Harry James Potter). And it had to be yellow, because this is Ginny's entrance, so it has to be bright bright bright, sunshine and summer and happy colours from the get-go.

Headcanon: Of course Charlie would give Ginny, the only other animal-lover of the Weasley household, a dragon-themed t-shirt. 1994 is also the year the Triwizard Tournament kicks off, and Charlie comes back to England that summer, so would be the perfect time to hand over a t-shirt to his little sister.

T-shirt 2: My Brothers Started a Joke Shop and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt (Relationship: Fred and George) 🤡

Writing/plot: Ginny wears this at breakfast early on in the fic (the structure of the fic loosely follows the time of day - it starts with breakfast, it will end with evening after sunset). I wanted this t-shirt to flag to the reader that a new phase of Harry and Ginny's relationship is about to kick off - they're about to enter their own comedic double-act era, à la the twins (and, like the twins, a lot of their jokes will be at Ron's expense).

Headcanon: This is definitely a new t-shirt. Fred and George will have given it to Ginny earlier that summer to wear to promote their products at school in the new academic year. The twins may not like that their sister is cool and getting a lot of attention these days, but they're determined to make a few galleons off of it.

T-shirt 3: The Weird Sisters t-shirt (Relationship: Tonks) 🎸

Writing/plot: This actually ended up as my favourite, completely by accident. I originally meant for this t-shirt to be Ginny's own, as a reference to the Weird Sisters poster Harry discovers on her wall in DH. Purple just seemed like a wizardy colour. Ginny wears it in this early flirty scene where Harry, for the first time, seeks her out alone, and comes up to her bedroom. Although he won't enter the room - it's important that that happens for the first time in DH - I liked the idea of her cracking the door open a little and wearing a t-shirt that teases hints of the room inside.

It was only when I was doing final edits and canon checks did I remember that Tonks wears a Weird Sisters t-shirt to pick Harry up at King's Cross at the end of OotP, and also that it's purple??! And then I remembered that great moment in OotP where Tonks turns her hair red, and Harry says she looks like Ginny's older sister. I love that scene. It's so full of early Harry/Ginny hints: Harry noticing more details about Ginny; Ginny, Tonks, and Sirius chatting and cheering Harry up, and Ginny and Tonks showing clear signs of bonding in a little sister/cool big sister way. I love that it ended up as an accidental nod to happy hints from an earlier time.

Canon details: Now I think of this t-shirt is a gift from Ginny's honorary, weird older sister. Tonks has definitely promised to take her to a Weird Sisters concert one day. As Ginny will also spend the summer wishing Bill was marrying Tonks instead, this t-shirt is therefore a subtle anti-Fleur protest.

T-shirt 4: Blank t-shirt (Relationship: Ron 1) 👕

Writing/plot: I wanted Harry to have started to notice Ginny's outfits to such an extent that the first time she wears a blank t-shirt, he's like - excuse you? But then Ginny suggests she'll write her own slogan on it later (‘I’ll write one on later. What do you think of Ron Weasley: Stop Bringing Shame on This Household?’) The t-shirt therefore becomes a way to tease Ron, but it also hints at the tensions in Ginny and Ron's relationship that will be partly resolved by a later t-shirt (Ron 2)

Headcanon: Ginny's clothes are mostly secondhand. But she's also the only girl, and increasingly looks very physically different to her brothers, so when her mum does buy her clothes of her own, they're cheap and non-descript, probably from a multipack.

T-shirt 5: IKEA t-shirt (Relationship: Arthur) 🏡

Writing/plot: Ginny wears this in a scene where Harry and Ron are both watching Ginny and Hermione like dorks. Though they don't know it, both couples are slowly starting to build something, just like you build IKEA furniture (slowly, agonisingly, with no clear instructions and lots of tears/tantrums).

Headcanon: Arthur Weasley definitely has heard of IKEA and longs for the day he, too, can push a trolley around a big Muggle furniture warehouse with a little pencil and tuck into some meatballs in the cafe. A Muggle-born friend definitely gave him this t-shirt knowing he'd be thrilled, and he has passed it onto his daughter who also, secretly, shares his love of all things Muggle.

T-shirt 6: Witch Weekly’s Knitter of the Year Finalist 1984 (Relationship: Molly) 🧶

Writing/plot: Ginny wears this in a scene where she is making her mother tear her hair out over her lack of interest in being a prefect/behaving herself at school, and she and Harry team up as a comedy duo again. I liked the idea of Ginny both wearing her mother's t-shirt while she drives her to distraction, showing all the ways Molly sees herself in her daughter and projects some of her own worries onto her. I also wanted to suggest the idea of Harry and Ginny working together like two knitting needles, colluding to wind up Mrs Weasley. (Molly also spends this scene beating some dough into a pulp on the counter top, and fighting a losing battle there, too).

Headcanon: In 1984, Molly and Arthur had five children under the age of ten running around, squabbling and generally tearing each other apart around the Burrow. Bill and Charlie will have gone to school, and probably have received first batch of Weasley jumpers. I like the idea that Molly took up knitting when pregnant in the late seventies/ early eighties. By the mid-80s knitting is less of a creative outlet and more a slightly manic, neurotic and cheap way of reusing old wool to make new clothes for growing children (and also to take her frustration out on some wool by spearing stitches with sharp needles).

T-shirt 7: Gringotts Curse Breakers' Team-Building Day, May 1993 (The Hardest Curse to Break is a Bad Attitude!) (Relationship: Bill) 🔑

Writing/plot: Ginny wears this in a scene where she's trying to get the trio to lighten up and joke around with her (she's our little bad-attitude breaker). This is another favourite of the t-shirts and I would pay a lot of money for a workplace comedy fic about Bill at this away day.

Headcanon: This is one of those t-shirts you get given at an event and never really want to hold onto (I imagine a team-building day involving grumpy goblins was not a day Bill remembers fondly). But he has seen Ginny has a t-shirt from all her other brothers. The small, petty part of him that always wants his little sister to revere him wants to make sure she has one from him, too.

T-shirt 8: The Chudley Cannons jumper (Relationship: Ron 2) 🧹

Writing/plot: At her birthday dinner, Ron lends Ginny his favourite Chudley Cannons jumper when she starts to get chilly in the evening. Ron and Ginny's relationship won't be fixed completely by the end of the summer - in fact, they're about to go to school, where it'll get a whole lot worse. But this gesture holds out the promise to the reader that things will be alright between them again, that they're going into this new school year with a base level of deep love and affection for each other. Ever the over-protective big brother, Ron will not let his sister be cold on his watch.

Headcanon: It broke Ron's heart when Ginny picked the Holyhead Harpies as her team - she used to support the Cannons with Ron, but picked the Harpies out of spite the first year Ron went away to Hogwarts and she was left at home alone. Seeing his sister wear the Cannons jumper again makes him really happy.

T-shirt 9: Discarded t-shirt (Relationship: Harry) ❣️

Writing/plot: The fic ends with this suggestive, hopeful scene from summer '98, where Harry wakes up on the right side of Ginny's bedroom door for a change, and wonders where the t-shirt she wore the night before has ended up. He spent the summer of '96 inspecting her t-shirts, and then, somewhere along the way, he finally realised he's actually much more interested in what's underneath Ginny's t-shirts. Two years and a whole war later, the reader is reassured to know that Harry James Potter finally gets to take Ginny Weasley's t-shirt off, at long last.

Headcanon: (It's definitely one of Harry's t-shirts).

[shkudss]

Weakened by Eywa Pt. 5

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

Masterlist

Summary: Ao'nung finally realizes that his actions have consequences

Warnings: curse words, bullying, mental breakdown, English isn't my first language

Author's note: guys I’m so sorry that I didn’t tagged those who voted in the poll😭 I had no idea that it’s anonymous and you can’t see those who vote🥲 I’m really really sorry!!! Please, text me or comment if you want to be tagged. I hope you won’t get upset by this

Yawntutsyip - darling, little loved one

Yaymak - foolish, ignorant

Tsmukan - brother

Sa’nu - mommy

Metiyawn - love (plural)

“Now you can’t call me helpless, water boy.” After finally learning how to ride ilu, you were really playful, swimming with Ao’nung.

“Yeah, that’s because I was your teacher. Otherwise you would be helpless.” Light smile was on his face as he was talking to you. “Hey, who first reaches that stone will be the winner!”

It was really sudden game, but you managed to react fast. Even though your swimming skills improved significantly, you still were far from Ao’nung’s skills. He was way faster and was already standing on that huge stone and looking down at you. His skin was lighter on the sun.

“Come here, I’ll help you” you were about to thank him, but then he added “Loser” and chuckled at your unpleased face.

“Hey! You’re stronger than me and you are water na’vi. I’ll look at you running on the trees and trying to keep your balance with that thick tail!” You pushed his shoulder a little when he helped you to climb up.

“Yeah, I would probably be loser in the forest. I remember you almost killing me that day, I didn’t even recognize you at first. You were in your element and I understood that you’re actually strong. Surprisingly, not really loser.” Ao’nung laughed at last sentence and you pushed him again, but also had fun.

“Yeah, forest is my home. I don’t know how it is possible for people to claim that sea is their home. We’re actually different as you said before.” You sat on the warm stone and looked at the sunset.

“Yes, but we’re still all na’vis, children of Eywa and I didn’t understand it before.” Ao’nung joined you, you were so close that your shoulders were touching each other. “Y/N, you know I’m really sorry what what I did and said. Even though you said you forgave me, I, myself cannot forget it.” His aquatic eyes were looking far at the horizon.

“You don’t need to forget it, you must forgive yourself. I forgive you, but I will never forget about it and that’s not bad. You need to learn from your and others’ mistakes. It is your life and experience. But it is also your choice how to react on all these things happening to you. I could choose not to forgive you and I would be a lifelong burden for both of us. You could choose to be blind and not see anything wrong in your actions and it would break me and my family more and more. But we made our decisions and we’re here now, being friends and having this conversation. It is because we choose peace. Inside us and around us.” You placed your hand on his chest, explaining your thoughts and forgetting about boundaries.

Ao’nung didn’t respond to you, but placed his hand over yours on his chest. You looked up at him and met his gaze. It was so intimate, you could feel the whole atmosphere between you changing vitally. You wanted to remove your hand, but he didn’t let you do this, holding it solidly.

“What are you doing, Ao’nung? Why are you looking at me like this?” All your confidence and playfulness disappeared.

You could feel him examining you. Your eyes, your hair, you lips, your hands. Ao’nung wanted to look at you all day long. Enjoying your beauty and wisdom. You captured his heart, his soul not even knowing about it.

“If you were the Sun, I would burn my eyes but keep looking at you every day. If you were a bird, I would spend all days in the forest listening to you.” He took your other hand, stroking it softly. “I know I hurt you deeply and I know it might be too early to say that as we’ve recently just came to peace. But I don’t know how I can live another day keeping it inside. You told that it is my choice how to react on things happening to me. This thing has been making me crazy for so long and I finally made my choice, Y/N.”

You felt your heart blowing inside of you. You didn’t know what to do or to say. Ao’nung was looking at you for a couple of seconds and then his face got as close to yours that you could feel his warm breath. Your knees felt weak at that type of closeness. One second and he leaves a little kiss in the corner of your lips.

Your eyes widened, breath is our of control. He looks right into your eyes, trying to catch your emotions. Ao’nung is also nervous, but he can’t show it to you since he is a future warrior, Olo'eyktan of the Metkayina. He wants to look strong and mighty in front of you.

“Y/N…”

“I… I need…” all words left your mind “I need to think it over.”

And you left him, running away from that stone. You didn’t even notice how you ended up riding ilu back to your marui. Your heartbeat was going crazy every time you remembered his lips on yours.

“What’s going on..?” You placed your hand on your heart trying to calm down. “Why my heart is beating so fast?”

“Y/N, are you okay?”

Mother’s voice distracted you. She knew something was wrong, you looked shocked. Even your hands were shaking a little.

“What happened? Someone annoyed you?”

“No, I just… I think I have feelings, but I’m not sure.” Neytiri led you to the Marui, looking at you worried.

“You mean feelings to a boy?”

“Yes, he kissed me.” It was hard for you to tell the truth, especially to your mom. You were embarrassed.

“Who was that?” Neytiri was actually excited to know that you’re getting used to the life here. You build your own story here.

“I’m not ready to tell it yet. But I don’t know what to do. He kissed me in the corner of my lips and I ran away. Is he going to hate me?” Helpless look on your face made your mom feel the wave of love. You’re still a kid who is getting through first romantic feeling.

“It’s okay, don’t worry. If he had true feelings to you he won’t be mad.” Her words easined your heart. “But you have to talk to him and explain everything, if you really value him.”

“Okay, thank you sa’nu.” You hugged Neytiri. You really needed it. “I will go for a walk. I need to think about everything.”

“Okay, but don’t be out for too long. You better be home before the eclipse.”

***

You’d been sitting in your place in the forest for the past 2 hours and trying to understand what you feel. That kiss put you out of your stride completely. You wouldn’t even think about having feelings to Ao’nung if he didn’t do this.

These days, every time you got physically close to each other you felt a little awkward and shy which is unusual for you. This never happened with Roxto or other guys.

“Do I like him?” As you asked yourself you felt your heartbeat increasing.

“Y/N, what are you doing here? We’ve been looking for you.” You saw Neteyam coming out from the bushes.

“Sorry, I was just thinking, this place is peaceful.” You moved a little to let your brother sit next to you. “I thought it’s my secret place, but I guess it’s not.”

“Yeah, sorry.” He looked at you apologizing. “What are you thinking about? I see you’re worried.”

“I don’t think you would like to hear it.”

“C’mon, I’m your big brother. I won’t get mad, promise.” He patted you on the head, waiting for your speech.

“I think, I have feelings to Ao’nung.” you were really cautious when revealed the truth. “He kissed me today and I don’t know what to do.”

You were afraid to look at him. Silence made you nervous.

“I see.”

Neteyam looked thoughtful. You had no idea what’s going on in his mind. For you his opinion on this was the most important. You really needed his support as an older brother.

“Talk to him.”

————————————————————————

A/N: Heyyy! I hope you liked it! I’m so happy for their developing relationships and that everyone is so supportive🥹 I’m really excited about next part! I think it’s going to be the last one, but we’ll see! I have ideas for some one-shots and I can’t wait to finish think work and write them🙈 Also, sorry for the delay, I’m really busy at school these days🥲

Taglist: @elegantkidfansoul @ijwsbdinp @universal-s1ut @myh3artt @lynbubble @jjkclub @kenzi-woycehoski @marvellover4 @ssc7514 @stvrligghtt @johfaam @simplecole18 @flavaliz @chrisbelle @bajadotcom @jak3suiiyscvmslvt @a--1--1--3 @roxannedaybreakermidnight @aonungmyaddiction @neteyamsmate4life @boilingpots @fanboyluvr @zilena9 @maxiel4life

I couldn’t tag those, whose nicknames are in red:(

[intermundia]

Hi! I saw ur post about your birthday, so first off, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Second, thank you so much for sharing your fics - they are genuinely so damn spectacular! I can’t really pick a favourite so in lieu of that I’m just going to rant about some favourable mentions :)

I’m a huge philosophy nerd, so your Symposium fic is the chefs kiss of fanfic and academia! I’ve reread it so many times now and, each time, I find another platonic element or link to the philosophy, and I basically scream with joy. Also mixing the Jedi with Plato’s philosophy is such an interesting and well-fitting mix! Like the realm of forms parallel to the force, obikin and the ladder of love parallel to their relationship, and obv the master apprentice dynamic so central to the symposium. Even the cave allegory in one way, like, once they start talking about love, obi wan can’t unhear it - he can’t go back from the light, in that regard. It’s so amazing to read a fic and keep on finding new things to love; reading it just brightens my day, and because I can’t send you an exorbitant number of kudos on ao3, please let this stand in their place <3<3<3

and don’t get me started on lex talionis! It’s such a gripping narrative!!! Like, for the first half/three quarters, there’s this slow decline in everyone’s mental state, relationships, and in general wellbeing. And it felt like I wanted to climb the walls, almost shouting at my screen, because if they would just TALK or THINK, but it’s like a tragedy because the CANT or at least as they are at the beginning they can’t, and that was so wonderful to read. A huge part of that was that I was already invested in the characters, so the stakes were raised from the get-go, but also it was the way you mirrored the drama of canon’s breakdown, and you managed to do that on a completely different playing field. And THEN you made them CHANGE!!! And it felt plausible! It felt in character! And all the hope and joy that they lost was returned, but it wasn’t the same, and that was okay!!! And to me, it felt like that decline and rise mirrored the way you integrated Roman history (I could very well be wrong lol); fall of the republic, rise of the Augustan empire - things are irrevocably changed, but they’re still standing! They’re alive! It’s so deeply moving and emotional, I can’t even articulate it as well as I’d like! Also, I was wondering, in LT, did u base any particular characters’ arcs on actually folks from Roman history? And what would you say is your favourite ancient person in general? It’s so interesting to see how ur Classics background informs your writing. In the most complementary way I can say it, it’s giving off ancient history Tolkien vibes, which is genuinely so inspiring to me as someone who wants to find their own writing niche

thank you so much for your writing, and I hope your next year ‘round the sun is filled with joy 🥳🥳🥳

yesss augustus was definitely a central inspiration for me for my fall of the republic story!! just as i think he was for lucas, with his ascension to supreme executive power and institution of an empire, the way he participated in and then brought a devastating period of civil war to a close, offering up long desired peace and security under his autocratic rule. he's a popular leader whose figure looms large as an example still after thousands of years. i wanted obi-wan to 'win' in the same way he did, usurping palpatine's claim to being that leader who took advantage of chaos to seize power.

i just think obi-wan would be such a devastating sith lord, brilliant and charismatic, who could outplay sidious at his own game, very much in the tradition of augustus's strategic decisions. obi-wan lies to himself about it, but his corruption is to always seek ever expanding circles of control. anakin and the clones have strong personal loyalty to him, echoing the loyal legions in civil war that swept octavian into power. padmé has shades of cicero and other republic figures who lost out and were removed from public life (i let her keep her life though ofc).

basically the whole political aspect was modeled on the fall of the roman republic haha you got that exactly right. i'm just so thrilled that you've engaged with the classical influences that i both consciously and unconsciously include in my stories. that's such an unbelievably kind analogy with tolkien, thank you!! there are just so many greek and roman figures that have fascinated and compelled me: homer and hesiod of course, pythagoras and heraclitus among other presocratics, aristotle's virtue ethics, and the moral philosophers of rome like epictetus and marcus aurelius are very dear to my heart.

other favorites are thucydides and herodotus, euripides and aescylus. pericles and alcibiades are fascinating figures. in terms of rome, cicero and catiline, catullus and horace, lucretius and seneca, virgil and ovid, tacitus and plutarch. the lives of antony and cleopatra especially are fascinating. so is alexander ofc, but i spent most of my time on archaic greece not the hellenistic period. i could keep going saljkdlkfdjsa but i will stop, thank you for the excuse to geek out!!!! it's always fun to think about, so i invent as many excuses to do so as possible haha

[depressoexpresso-anon]

Ok, here is my breakdown and my thoughts on the ending of Bittersweet Chapter 3.

First off, I wanted to say thanks to Yuuri for blessing us with Bittersweet and this amazing fucking story, as well as the start of Shattered, which I presume, is the start of Auron's story.

This isn't important, but I enjoy that Al's fancy is take-out pasta (fr same). Also, his happy little face thing about it got me like 😊😊😊

Then the conversation between SugerBoo and Al and the trust he has for them is just gold, but it's a tad reckless.

Cause if I was in Al's shoes, I would bring up the gun and talk about the choice they were going to make, if it was a good idea, and what consequences might have followed with their actions.

This also leads to the idea that Al may have possibly known about the gun before the listener left to meet up with Jesse. And what we knew from previous episodes, the choice that they made may have left them going to jail, a possible run-in with Auron, or probably dead.

Also, the reassurance that Al made about being 'pure' is a very nice touch to tie it up. It also leaves me thinking, if Al would do the same speech if the listener did kill Derek. Tbh idk.

Also, the shared dream thing that the trio had. 👀👀👀

I know it's not the same but it's pretty fucking close in my book.

THEN WE GET BLESSED WITH BABY SETH!

I literally lost it when I saw this cause he is so tiny and his hair is basically Crypted Hunter Seth's hair.

If you look at past Jesse and current Seth, he really does look like her.

This shot made me happy (even though it's not happy). Cause for me when I get invested in characters, I wanna know every little detail about that character. So seeing Al's baby picture and a flashback to when Seth was younger made me go 'OOOOOH SHIT!'.

Then this scene is just a chef's kiss honestly.

Cause we get to see Seth finally confront Jesse about all the shit she has done.

And I know he confronted her before in episode 5, but that was with current events. This time it's about his past and all the hurt he felt with her being away.

You can even see on Jesse's face that she is finally realized her mistakes as a mom and is probably feeling so much guilt for putting her son in pain.

SHE IS ALSO CRYING TOO!

Even though this part was short it's what they both needed.

Seth needed to tell his true feelings about his mother and what he felt during the years she was gone. While Jesse needs to face the truth and accept that she had hurt her son, and possibly nothing she can do will ever fully fix her bond with her son.

Then after expressing his emotions he goes from this.

To this

I feel like Seth from Chapter One would just beat the shit out of that wall till his hands were fucked up.

But he didn't.

He realized that he was angry and frustrated and just let it all go.

That is growth.

Cause in the very beginning Al mentioned that Seth grew more angry and bitter when his mother cut ties with him.

So his time by himself and the time with the listener and Alphonse, really helped him with his anger and frustration towards his family and the world.

He's learning to let go of anger and just move on with peace.

Jackie's art = good shit. PERIOD!

Also its urger time.

When Al called Seth a little bitch and was teasing him fr filled me with serotonin.

THEN THIS FUCKER IS JUST!!!

YUMMY

I fr am feral for this man rn. I still need to get to know Auron more to fuck with him. BUT! I am a little slutty whore baby for people who dress nice and do crime.

Like he looks like a mob boss in the 50's and I am LIVING FOR IT DARLING!

Also, the bruises on both of his hands fucking mean that he went ham on Derek.

He probably tortured him as well.

I can just imagine him beating the shit out of Derek behind closed doors and having all of the grunts listen to Derek's screams and begs him to stop.

And when he's finally done and comes out of the office, he gives them all a look of 'do not cross me.', before pouring his own or having someone pour him a drink.

Ok, Tumblr won't let me do more than 10 pictures so ima do part 2.

[eddywoww]

It’s me, the one who needed to vent ^^”

I hate the thought of being perceived by people. Everyone, anyone, one person, two people- anything really. I don’t want to be perceived as a person.

I don’t know if that’s my anxiety or not, but the thought of people actually looking at me and noticing me freaks me out. I feel like I can’t go out and do the most basic human activities without nearly having a breakdown because what if people look at me? What if they see me?

Like when it’s family or close close friends I don’t care, I hope they see me and talk to me, but when it comes to everyone else I want to throw up at the thought. And I don’t know why.

It makes me feel broken, because I don’t know anyone else who has an issue with being perceived the way that I do?

Anyways, that’s my vent

I hope you have a good day, thank you for letting me vent <3

I used to be like this actually! Just constant anxiety over how people perceived me or if anyone was looking at me, watching me. It’s nerve wracking and makes you miss out on a lot of things. I can’t say I’m much better now as a shut in but I’ve definitely started to care a lot less what people think of me, especially in public. I hope you can reach that point someday to, so you can have some peace of mind 💕