mypoetryandfeelings

[mypoetryandfeelings]

[mypoetryandfeelings]

Theres a stranger in my house, notice how i didnt say home…this isnt my home, this is in no way possible a safe place for me, just 4 walls who do nothing but suffocate me.

Theres a stranger in my house, a bad energy whos every hug is pointy and every word is poisonous, if you know how love feels you know that it sometimes hurts, its not supposed to always hurt tho right?

I in no way feel safe or loved in a proper way, just discomfort and the urge to leave, I feel tears trying to find a way out, my throat has a knot on it and my head feels heavy. Theres no way of escaping and a sudden wave of claustrophobia kicks in.

Only escape is to cover your eyes and pretend to be blind, you see no moster.. nor you see anything else tho, they said its better to feel pain than nothing at all but Im going with the second option without having any other choice. I need to move on and keep going, i cant afford staying still I need to leave.

Theres a stranger in my house and i have no strenghth to fight it, the walls are getting closer and Im running out of air, my eyes are staying closed as I choose to not aknowledge my problems or feelings.

Hurting myself in order not to hurt others is something I often tend to do and theres no one to tell me to stop, no one is there to treat my wounds, no one but myself, my poor scared little self with no strenghth left to fight but just a big desire to be set free.

Because it all comes down to me.

Comfort is nowhere to be found..my head feels heavy again, oh god what am I doing so wrong? Am I the source of the problem? Do I need to be more perfect? Should I change myself again to please her? Those are not questions a teen should be asking to itself. No sweetie its not you..even tho its hard to believe its no ones fault..Theres a wounded child in every one of us, a child who no one knows how to take care of and most of the times its being neglected.

Neglecting that child results in what you are feeling right now sweetie, taking on your shoulders others people hurted inner childs its not easy. Learn from that my sweet kid and dont be like them, you can take care of your own self…Like you always did.

Whos there to hug you my sweet child? People who are not supposed to be your parents is the answer, people with whom you’ve trusted some of your most vulnerable moments, people who accept you and never tried changing you, people who dont project themselves on you..or at least you think so. They’re not really there are they?

My sweet kid people are not homes quoted

Why did no one ever teach you that you cannot turn prople into homes? People are rivers,ever changing,ever flowing. They will dissapear with everyting you put inside them. Still, your home does have a heartbeat. But it isn’t one locked in anyone else’s chest. Just look inside your own.

Most people fall into the trap of thinking they’ve found home in someone esle, but soon they find to realise that they’re not a half, they dont need another person to be a whole..but now its too late, depending on someone else has become a necesity and they now struggle to find the other half of their own self they’re looking for.