#let her watch human centipede

[whatudottu]

Turns out if I complain loud enough I can get things delivered faster, and faster it did as I realised not even a minute into drawing that I literally could have finished this in one sitting were it not for my pen carking it-

Anyway- have a problematic woman, on the house :)

[cult-of-the-eye]

Obligatory tma halloween headcanons post:

tim and sasha are OBVIOUSLY barbie and ken from the barbie movie (other people have said it before and i'll gladly support it)

martin is some horribly obscure costume from a book or a poem no one really knows about and he gets a bit sad that no one knows who he is but then sasha does a quick google and subtly drops hints to everyone to go be like "heyyyy martin, amazing x costume" and then he cheers up

jon just refuses to dress up and everyone (especially Tim) bullies him like "oh amazing socially inept man who's desperately trying to seem good at his job costume!! you've got it spot on!!" and he's so furious that he puts on a costume

and in every iteration of these headcanons, martin is FLOORED at whatever he eventually dresses up as and i am all for that i will eat that shit up

he's so starved for interactions with his crush that he goes feral over jon in non-office clothes

favourite jon costumes include: normal clothes plus cat ears, normal clothes and everyone thinks he's come as a vampire, normal clothes in the later seasons and sasha would be like "jon its not ok for you to dress up as a homeless person" with a shit eating grin and jon's like ...what

bonus - jon doesn't need to dress up cause he's already got his costume - it's someone who's good at their job!!

elias LOVES halloween i bet that man is like fuck yeah i can freak out my archival workers in a whole host of new ways - plastic spiders around the office for jon, little clown dolls for tim, eyes EVERYWHERE and its so gaudy and terrible and everyone despises him

also he really doubles down on calling jon the archivist

i feel like tim secretly hates halloween now but in like early working at the institute, he went along with it cause martin put out a little pumpkin on his desk and sasha smiled at it

melanie fucking loves halloween, she's a legitimately terrifying costume, let's go through the haunted house kinda gal and i love that for her. she's a lets watch all three human centipedes in one night and see what happens kinda gal

daisy and basira despise it cause of all the weird shit that people pull on halloween (and they're on edge that they'll be called for some section 31 shit for all of it)

jon also hates halloween for a similar reason - the increase of joke statements and general taking the piss about the magnus institute

yeah that's all i got. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

[teojira]

(Planet of the apes) Please can you give me anything about Caesar like head cannons a fanfic anything please I am just in the mood for Caesar :(

[Assortment of Caesar headcanons]

Summary: Just random headcanons for Caesar x reader <3

Warnings: Monster/Human romance, angst, can't think of anything else!

A/N: Caesar my BELOVED, I hope these are okay anon! You didn't specify if you wanted romantic or platonic so I'll do a mix of both that you can read as either or! I love my man sm

Caesar is an old man at this point, he's tired. This being said, he is not above pinning you down and resting his entire fucking body weight on you.

You can struggle all you want, you cannot lift him up and you just have to sit there and let him do what he wants. And what he wants is to have 5 minutes of quiet with his favorite human, okay? Let him have this.

Caesar also takes it upon himself to help groom you, parting your hair, scratching at your scalp and checking you for anything, taking your face in his hands and twisting and turning your head every which way.

Very very huge worrier, he worries for you so much and it comes out as anger. He's not mad at you for doing what he seems stupid shit, he's mad because he's scared of you getting hurt and he can't fix it.

He usually won't leave you alone without at least one ape he trusts in the beginning, he's worried about another ape like Koba emerging, so for his sake, please stick around with Maurice.

Maurice loves you by the way, and so does Nova. Since you're immune to the sickness, you're able to freely interact with her, so whenever you're not with Caesar or Cornelius, you're with them.

Caesar watches you alot when you're not looking, especially when you're laughing and smiling with the young girl. It fills his heart with warmth, even more so when you include other apes in on your jokes.

Give him hugs, he'll never admit just how touch starved he is, the only apes he has physical affection with often were Cornelia, Blue eyes and Koba. He won't admit it that he misses it, but he gets a little huffy if you go on to hug Rocket and not him.

You make him feel younger, almost like how he used to be when he was with Will. Yes, he's a leader and he will always predominantly be the collected and righteous leader, but he has his little shit tendencies that come out when he's around you.

I don't care what anyone says, Caesar is asshole at his core, he's just repressed it because he's a leader. He's the kind of person to have a bug in his hand, and gesture for you to open your palm.

"Open your hand."

"...I don't trust you."

"You do trust me, now open."

And then you have a centipede in your hand and you screech and he just smirks and huffs out a laugh.

I've said it before but he is so overprotective, you will not leave the confines of the colony if he can help it.

He knows you're a grown adult, and that you are capable of holding your own but he doesn't care. He much rather have you here when he can keep an eye out for you.

That being said, he will go with you if you're insistent, he has to teach Cornelius how to hunt and fish anyways, so you come with. It's a family day trip:)

Caesar doesn't like guns, but he gives you a pistol, it's a huge sign of trust due to losing his wife and son by them, by being shot by them, and you know he's trusting you with his life.

Speaking of trauma, he littered with it. Sleep doesn't come as easy to him anymore, he's too anxious, to the point you're scared he'll have a heart attack.

The only way you've found that he'll relax enough to sleep is when you and Cornelius are by his side, his arms wrapped around the both of you.

He finds it hard to tell you about Cornelia, especially since you're both teetering on the verge of something more, he feels like he's betraying her, but you reassure him you'll wait for him as long as he needs. Never overstepping any boundary he has.

He loves you, truly he does, he didn't think he could continue on, even with getting everyone to relative safety, but you've always been there, loving not only him, but everyone else around you. He doesn't know what he'd do without you.

[belleshub]

prompt 4

yanking them by their..

satoru g. — ear.

it may sound weird at first. satoru never lets anyone touch him. the strongest. he can’t be touched by his usual means of infinity.

so why did he let you do so? it’s a conundrum to him as well. why does he touch you, put on his flawed personality for display and be so vulnerable? because as much as he’d want to deny, he loves you.

he loves you so much, to the point where he in fact invited you to go shopping with him! sure, he probably would’ve done it with himself or someone else if you were to decline, but you didn’t.

that’s what matters.

youre glossing through the crowded mall, turning a head at anything that catches your eye - and that’s when you see it.

the perfect outfit, clad on the stores front mannequin. you’re just hoping and..

“that kid there has a digimon card—“

“you are such a nerd.” you throw your head back with a exasperated groan, fingers pitching the lobe of warm hearing vessels.

“cmonn, you’re not even buying anything.”

he whined. he knew very well that he was giving you an inch.

and you knew too.

immature, much?

“I was literally just looking at somethin’, what are you on about?” you bark back.

“okay, but like, I didn’t..”

“do you even know what you’re trying to argue about?” you furrow a brow.

“can’t you mentally bookmark it?”

“…” you two shortly find your way over to a gamestop. an embarrassing scene.

suguru g. — hair

more often than not, suguru doesn’t like when other people touch his hair. he meticulously grooms it, and takes care of it to the fullest. and if someone were to touch it - they’d have to be on the list of people he can tolerate. like his parents, or maybe shoko and gojo.. and without a doubt, you.

how could he not? suguru any touch of yours to be a grounding anchor to the reality he sometimes can’t even process himself. you’re his safe space. and he means it in every definition his brain could fathom.

and with you, it’s the same. you two were simply hanging out after school, and with how sassy he was - you two were prone to indulge in some banter.

sitting on some bench next to some convenience store, you chow down on some chips - him, observe the general public. it was one of those moments where, there isn’t exactly a set plan for the day - but rather more of a reprieve from your usual treacherous schedule.

so in short, you were just.. chilling.

while you were relaxing, you rant to him about your latest fixation, and then.. he gets a text message! from.. who?

“are you listening?” you lean forward, squinting as you tried to look at his screen.

“no, yeah..” he replies monotonously. you didn’t like that.

“I dare you to recount what I just said within three sentences—“

“I think satoru set me up, that snarky bastard.” his eye twitched as he tightened his grip on the flip phone. was he gonna break it?

“dude, relax, maybe he’s like.. I dunno..”

then you pause when you read the message.

“who the hell is misaki sato? and why does she have your number?”

“I told you, satoru set me up, I don’t know that girl!” he frowned, and you gently grab a tuff of hair, tugging just enough so you don’t place tension on his oh so tender scalp.

“oh shit! I think I know her!” your eyes widen, an accomplished smile gracing your features.

“was pulling my hair necessary?”

“shut up.”

yuji i. — arm.

you two were relaxing after just exiting from the movie theater. yuji just convinced you to watch a boring, dramatic and theatrical slasher. given that you genuinely had no other pastime, you took him up on his offer.

rookie mistake on his end, because for you, your knack for unconventional garbs was going to be the death of him.

“oh my god, oh my— yuji!” you exclaim. “it’s a flash sale, you know how much I love this stores stuff.”

“are you gonna even use half of the things in there?” he said sheepishly - until he saw merchandise. merchandise of his favorite movie!

“oh..it’s..its!”

you give him a side glance.

“oh, human centipede…”

“that’s like an entirely different thing!” he complains, and you simply push his back and your hand lands on his arm. circling around it, you pull him forth.

“my bad, that weird murder shit you like..” you correct yourself. awkwardly.

“it’s not weird!”

megumi f. — collar.

to be frank, megumi wasn’t to chatty type. he was more for the tiny things, the things that made it matter.

acts of service. that his niche. so.. why was he here.. crafting all these.. origami gifts.. why? because he wanted to surprise you. particularly because you just passed exams. he’s been routing for you, studying.. buying your energizers..

yuji brought up the idea, and megumi decided to entertain it. for once.

he presses the youtube video back, navy eyes narrowing further as he scrutinized the screen just one more time.

pink hair blurs his vision, and immediately, he’s over it again.

“maybe we should ask nobara. she’s a girl, she probably knows a lot about—“ yuji fell short of his exclaimation as megumi pressed him off to the side. he may or may not subtly have elbowed him in his side as well.

“I think I know my girlfriend, yuji..” he rolled his eyes, maybe at this point, he should give up. but if it’s one of your favorite..

clink.

the noise of a door unlocking throughout the dorm room sounds, and megumi feels like his soul has been snatched. hastily, he slams it close.

yuji, on the other hand, turned to the side, front obscuring the accumulated supplies in the front of them.

“ohh, heyy! we didn’t know you were..coming so soon?”

with your arrival, you don’t exhaust haste to trot your way over to megumi.

“the air in here doesn’t feel right.” you say.

“what the hell is that even supposed to mean?” yuji barked, hurriedly pushing the papers under the bed.

“I meant what I said! you guys are doing somethin’, and it’s suspicious! why else would yuji be in here?”

“I mean, he’s not always an unwanted presence..” megumi looks off to the side, a snicker escaping his lips.

“are you insinuating there has been times where I was a unwanted presence?” his friend yells, jaw hung low in appall.

you tsk, and pull his collar, trying to see what was behind him.

he didn’t seem.. particularly bothered by your proximity.

“now, what exactly are you guys try’na do?”

[rbvcdeluxe]

Use this as an excuse to dump a bunch of Hatchetfield headcanons, go nuts dude

YEAAAA

(I want to say that Melissa is mentioned in this. Jus in case someone is uncomfortable with Hey Melissa references)

The nerds have a groupchat. Grace sends "Jesus loves you!" gifs every morning, and also a bunch of praying emojis constantly.

This one is just silly and nothing serious, but sometimes the Lords in Black when they are in human-like forms they like to play pretend and mock humans. They usually act as if they were siblings to make fun of that.

Ruth Fleming is a Tim Minchin and Bo Burnham fan. Her favorite songs are definitely Confessions, High School Party and Nerds (Studio)

Ted Spankoffski is ALSO a Tim Minchin fan. This one is unexplainable honestly, my brain just told me this hc and I went with it, but look, it makes sense to me. His favorite song is Beauty.

Shopper #4 has committed multiple crimes. Mainly tax fraud. I have no reasons for this one, I just know it.

People from Clivesdale know what Hatchetfield says about them, but they think it's in a fun way. They think that Hatchetfield residents pretend to hate them for the funsies and Clivesdale does it back in a playful manner, but they don't know that Hatchetfield, does in fact, HATE THEM and it is not a joke for them. Fuck Clivesdale.

Grace is always carrying a little teeny bible in her backpack, it is so damn small.

Frank Pricely is TRANS. this hc started as a joke but I started to take it seriously at some point. It's just the idea of it that is so funny. Frank basically came out with a friend of his by saying "Can I be frank with you?” and like, he told his friend that he was trans BUT he didn't know with what name to go by and asked him to help him chose a name, his friend thought about it and since he said 'frank' because he said the ‘can I be frank with you’ thingy and Pricely actually liked the name and then LATER ON his friend realized how fucking funny his name was considering that Frank is the capitalist ever and his last name is Pricely.

Ruth forced Grace to watch Jesus Christ Superstar.

Charlotte and Sam don't have any wedding pictures, so they don't have any visual memories of that day.

Char and Sam were high school sweethearts.

Ruth, Richie and Pete like to make gift exchanges every christmas and they get the stupidest shit ever for each other. And for some reason Ted also participates sometimes.

Mr. Davidson sometimes likes to write poems for Carol. I have no reason for this headcanon, I just think it's cute.

Melissa has watched The Human Centipede and it's her favorite movie even if she won't say it. She may say that she has watched it but isn't explicit about liking it.

Deb owns at least over 6 different pairs of boots.

When Blinky and Pokey are in a human-like forms, Pokey sometimes plays fullass one-man-shows for Blinky for the funsies.

Richie loves energy drinks.

Oddly specific (hyperspecific) headcanon that I came up with as a joke but now I think it's way too funny to let it go: Sam has a Samsung phone ONLY in the TGWDLM timeline. In any other timeline he has a different one, but in The Guy he has a Samsung. I won't even explain why I think it's too obvious and it would ruin the joke if I do explain.

The nameless background characters that Lauren and Jeff are playing in La Dee Dah Dah Day are both non binary and are also dating. Idk, I don't have explanation for this one, I just went with the vibes.

Melissa has a fullass document dedicated to cat pictures.

In CCRP they sometimes play board games, Mr. Davidson is usually the one who chooses the game.

I can't think of more right now so YES I WILL REBLOG TO ADD MORE LATER!!

[maccachibchan]

I did a thing, for Delilah. Here's the relationship chart between the members of the circus.

Kaufmo never met Delilah and there's a random mannequin in the tub so they won't be mention.

Obviously, Pomni and Jax are her parents. She loves her mom a lot and would do anything to make her happy, but she loves spending time with her dad so much that she starts to act just like him and pull pranks on other people; including her mom. But her pranks are not as harmful or scary as Jax's, so she gets away with it, sometimes.

Ragatha and Gangle both see her as an adorable, misguided, little angel. Delilah doesn't mess with Gangle because she always sweet towards her, especially when Delilah gets to Gangle's son, Shapey, whenever she wants. And if Delilah breaks Gangle's mask, it'll mostly be an accident and she would help fix it. On the other hand, Ragatha always tries to teach her from right and wrong so she doesn't end up like Jax. But her bond with her dad is too strong that Delilah ends up calling Ragatha by her nickname: Dollface, and chases her around the circus with centipedes.

Zooble liked Delilah at first when she was a baby, but when she starts pulling their body parts off and behaving a lot like Jax, they grew to hate her. Even calling her a devil's child.

Kinger enjoys spending time with Delilah whenever he gets to watch her. He shows her his insect collection, giving her an interest in bugs, and telling her stories about all of the adventures he had with her parents and the rest of the cast. Delilah calls Kinger her grandpa, not just because of his old age, but she sees him as an important family member. Kinger cried tears of joy when he first heard the young child called her that.

Bubble was the one who found Delilah wandering around the hallway when she was a baby. He almost tried to eat her, but when Delilah playfully pokes at the bubble, he couldn't help but be smitten by her adorable aura. He decided to keep her as a pet and named her Fluffles.

Caine found out about Delilah's existence when Bubble introduce her to him. At first Caine got infatuated by the adorable baby, but discovers later on that Delilah was made by Pomni and Jax. He thought about snapping out of existence, but realizing that Delilah was not his creation, and part human, he decides to let her stay and be a part of the Digital Circus line. Having a very young child around would give him a good excuse to promote his family-friendly world.

[nessieartss]

Hello! Idk if someone asked you this before, but do you think Sukuna would try to watch Human Centipede (I'm so sorry)? Would he be disgusted or amused? I'm so sorry if this is disturbing.  😭🙇

BUT, since Yuji likes Jennifer Lawrence, I would feel like he would replay her movies like Hunger Games, and there's Sukuna already done with his brother watching it again but lowkey interested in the movie.

Btw, I really love your art and your sibling au, please don't stop doing what you love! Don't forget to eat and drink your water. Have a good day or night! (/≧▽≦)/

Oohh, i think it would not affect him at all lmaoo, yuuji is the one who would be disturbed and couldn't sleep that night, and like why tf did i watch it with aniki

I read that somewhere yuuji likes jenlaw from silver linings playbook? (Cmiiw) and i think he would replay that movie much more than hunger games (but let's be honest yuuji loves every movie that has jenlaw in it, eventhough mother! might disturbed him as well. But for the sake of jenlaw he would sacrifice anything)

Aww thank you so muchh that's so sweet! 😭💖 take care of yourself as well!

[melishade]

Man that chapter was interesting in a sense of overwhelming emotion

Damn ...

Wanna hear 'What could have been' over the ending?

Armin and Mikasa’s backs slammed into the ground as everyone was blown back by the blue explosion of the centipede like creature. Mikasa stabbed her sword into the ground before grabbing Armin’s hand to prevent the two of them from being thrown further away. Mikasa felt her scarf being pulled away from the force before flying off of her body completely. Mikasa looked behind her to see the scarf catch fire from some debris and ash and burn away completely. Meanwhile, Annie had managed to shield Hanji, Levi, and Erwin with her titan body. The centipede let out a loud, unholy scream before it crumbled away and turned to dust.

When everything settled, smoke was the only thing that was present. Erwin coughed up what got in his lungs before noticing that something was wrong. Erwin turned to see Annie’s titan form crumble and collapse on the ground. The titan body began to evaporate into thin air, leaving only Annie in its place. Erwin gasped when he saw that the markings on Annie’s face were fading.

Sasha was recovering from the blast with Connie’s body in tow. She gasped when she realized that Ymir was the one who protected them from harm.

“Ymir,” Sasha spoke as Ymir’s titan form suddenly collapsed and began to turn to dust. Ymir stood on her own two feet, feeling the sides of her neck and gasping when she realized that her gills were gone.

“What…what’s happening?” Ymir asked her.

Sasha’s attention drifted to the Colossal Titans and saw that they were beginning to crumble into thin air and turn to dust. “I…I think it’s over.”

Meanwhile, the Predacons stopped attacking the Colossal Titans when they realized that they were starting to turn to dust. They growled to each other in confusion before flying off to find the Nemesis. Willy and Kenshin stared in disbelief on the monitors of the ship as the Colossal Titans were crumbling before their very eyes.

“What’s going on?” Kenshin asked Ratchet.

“The energy these beings are emitting is dropping immensely,” Ratchet answered.

“Doc…I have visual,” Wheeljack informed in an uneasy tone. Wheeljack transmitted the visuals to them, and they all stared in horror at the sight of the explosion.

Optimus forced himself to stand up, clinging to his wounded and bleeding side. He was in pain, agonizing pain. But he wanted to know. Was he here? Where was he? Optimus stared in horror as he saw Eren’s body and decapitated head begin to crumble away. Optimus took a step forward to try and search the remains for anything, but his legs gave out and he fell to his knees, using the Star Saber as a means to support his body to stay upright.

“Hey humans! Anyone!” someone called through the comm. link, “The Colossal Titans are disappearing everywhere! What happened?!”

Erwin activated the comm. link and spoke as if he were on autopilot. “Report this to the world: Eren Jaeger was slain by Optimus Prime. With the Star Saber, he eliminated him and the rest of the titans from existence. Because of Optimus Prime, humanity is now free from the reign of the titans.”

Knockout turned his attention to Ratchet, who’s main concern was Optimus’ condition. Meanwhile, Willy felt his body trembling and stared at his hands. The Eldians…they were free? He was free from the power of the titans?

“This isn’t a joke, right?” Kenshin asked in disbelief.

“I don’t think so,” Ratchet answered him.

Optimus had lubricant brimming in his optics as he watched Eren’s bones crumble into pieces and be blown away by the wind. His blood on the Star Saber was turning into thin air. He wanted to reach out for his remains, but he was too weak to even try, putting all his energy into supporting his own weight.

Eren looked Optimus in shock. "You...you know?"

Optimus looked at Eren in confusion. "Hm?"

"You know about the outside world?!" Eren demanded.

Eren…Eren was gone.

Optimus nodded his head. "I have been granted permission to train you."

"Yes!" Eren cheered.

The boy he met all those years ago, determined and hopeful.

Optimus nodded his head in understanding before adjusting Eren on his shoulders and walking towards the castle. Optimus heard Eren sigh in slight irritation as he felt him adjust his head on his shoulder.

"My body hurts like hell," Eren remarked.

"It will usually hurt the first time around, but your body will get used to it in due time," Optimus explained.

He wanted to slay the titans and live his life as freely as possible.

"Optimus...why is the world so cruel?" Eren asked.

"I do not know," Optimus answered.

Eren didn't say anything before he continued crying and trembling. He kept on muttering why to himself before suddenly feeling a hand on his back. He kept crying as he was pulled into a gentle hug before clutching the fabric from the shirt. After that he just kept crying in the shirt before falling asleep.

But it was a reality he was denied.

"How could I tell them that I ate my own father?" Eren retorted, his voice cracking, "They would've been disgusted by me; they would've hated me. You're probably disgusted with me right now, aren't you?"

"Eren-,"

"I'm just a pathetic monster with a stupid dream," Eren declared.

Optimus helped him. Optimus trained him. Optimus loved him as he was his own son. But…he was gone.

“…thank you, dad,” Eren spoke in a tired voice.

Eren was dead and nothing of his existence remained on this world.

“Because it is my choice,” Optimus answered, “This is the path that I chose of my own volition, and I have no regrets with that. I love you, Eren. I love you as if you were my own. Never forget that.”

Like a dam, the tears burst from Eren’s eyes. They poured down his face and stained the holoform hands holding him, but neither him nor Optimus cared. Eren was just…overwhelmed. Optimus usually kept his emotions in check, refrained from saying anything with such sentimentality. But this? Optimus just said that he was his son. That he cared for him, and that he loved him. Eren openly wept, and wanted to dry his tears, but Optimus pulled him into a tight hug in response. Optimus rested a hand on the back of Eren’s head while Eren’s gripped tightened on the holoform jacket. Sobs wracked his body and tears stained the jacket, but Optimus refused to let go.

“O-optimus,” Eren words were slightly muffled, “Dad, I-,”

“It is alright,” Optimus reassured, “I will be by your side, as long as time allows.”

He was gone forever, and Optimus was the one who killed him.

Optimus let his tears fall freely before he raised his helm and screamed out in sorrow and agony to the heavens. The Autobots watched in shock, never seeing their leader display this kind of emotion before, while the Survey Corps were grieving about their own loss to completely understand the situation.

Megatron felt his body shutting down on him, and his mind was moving in and out of consciousness. But he could hear it. He could hear the heartbroken sound of Optimus’ screaming and he closed his optics in exhaustion and contempt. He knew he should’ve killed Eren when he had the opportunity. There were so many things he could’ve done differently, but it was too late now. Eren got the path he wanted and humanity was saved, but at what cost?

Optimus felt exhaustion hit him hard, causing him to let go of the Star Saber and collapse on the ground. The dagger in his side fell apart as he stared at the sky that was beginning to part. He…remembered that sky. He somehow remembered seeing it when he arrived on this world all those years ago. He could hear others yelling, screaming in panic, but his audio receptors were failing him. His entire body was experiencing system failures. Everything was failing him. If death claimed him right now, he would allow it. He was just so…tired.

Optimus’ helm fell to the side, and he could’ve sworn he saw a vision of a single blue flower before his world was plunged into darkness.

(When I first wrote the original draft for the ending back in 2019, the song was going to be Rue's Farewell from the Hunger Games. But this is so much better.)

[liliana-meadowpink]

Stinkbugs and Silk: a short palia fic!

It had been a long day. Lillie unlatched the gate to the mountain’s housing area and wandered through the trees to her campsite. She was greeted by Kenyatta as she stood up from the coffee table she had been sitting on.

“Oh, good, you’re finally home.”

“Yes, sorry to keep you waiting.” Lillie responded, walking to her stove and pouring two mugs of tea.

“Did you talk with Jel about my dress yet?” Kenyatta sat down on the coffee table again, accepting the tea. “You better have.”

(More fic under the cut!)

Lillie hesitated. “Yes, but…” How should she explain it? It was so uncomfortable having to go between her friends in this manner. She got the feeling this used to happen a lot with her human friends and it didn’t end well.

“But what?” Kenyatta prompted, setting the empty mug aside. “I don’t like how this is sounding.”

“Look, is there ANYTHING I can do to convince you to wear the dress? Anything at all? Jel worked hard on it and I don’t know if we even have time to make something different.”

“Not a thing. I’ll buy something off the rack.”

“Ken-ya-tta!” Lillie gasped, putting emphasis on each syllable for comedy. “You wouldn’t! You can’t anyway since your fashion tastes aren’t mass produced!”

“I MIGHT consider it… if you can guess what I want you to do.” Kenyatta smirked.

Lillie sighed. “You just said there’s nothing, so I’m gonna talk with your mom about the dress, and…”

“As if she would even listen?”

“Good point. Still, something has to be done. Sure, Jel caved into the pressure of other people’s expectations, but he still got your colors right and it’s supposedly comfortable to wear. Can you at least not be insulted by his efforts? Please?”

“Why are you defending Jel so much?” Kenyatta studied’s Lillie’s face as it shifted hues from its regular soft beige appearance to a color between that of the a scintillating centipede and a briar daisy.

“I… well, I, um… I… Don’t… exactly know.”

“Right. Well, look. Mom’s got a meeting with my aunt, the duchess, coming up. Go hide a stink bug in her desk.”

“Then you’ll wear Jel’s dress?”

“MAYBE.”

“Good. Thank you. I can definitely put a stink bug in there.”

“Great.”

“Are you already leaving?” Lillie followed Kenyatta through the trees, rummaging through her bag.

“Yeah.”

“Okay, well… At least take this antler? I have no idea what to even do with these things.”

“Thanks. See you later.”

“Yes, we will!” Lillie closed the gate and looked down at Aqua and Luna. “That went better than expected.”

The two palcats squeaked in agreement and scampered back to the house.

0~☆*:.｡.~☆~.｡.:*☆~ *:.｡.~☆~.｡.:*☆~0~☆*:.｡.~☆~.｡.:*☆~

“So… I, uh, I did it.”

“Now we just have to sit and wait.” Kenyatta smiled, watching the awkward way Lillie pretended she wasn’t rocking back and forth on her heels.

“Happy to help.”

“I'm glad. You know if this works out, I can think of some other tasks I might want to give you in the future.” She blinked when Lillie stopped fidgeting. “Usually Nai'o does this kind of stuff for me, but lately he's been busy with his family or whatever.”

“Oh, yeah, the fair’s coming up. They’re preparing for EVERYTHING. The jam, the animals, the music…”

“Are you going to help them out?”

“Not sure. I don’t wanna travel very far without my cats.” Lillie said, picking up Aqua and burying her face in his fur.

“Couldn’t you ask someone to take care of them for you?”

“Not really. It’s fine, though. I know one palcat is a handful, let alone four.” She put Aqua down and he rubbed his face against Kenyatta’s boots. “Gosh, I don’t even want to imagine the destruction they’d cause if they stayed with Jel for example! All the pretty fabric, ruined either by claw marks or endless piles of fur.”

“What about the cook?”

“Reth? Oh, he’d be good at it, but they would probably mess with the soup. Besides… Everyone else is too busy.”

Kenyatta thought for a moment. “How about the fishing galdur, uh… Einar, right?”

“What about him?”

“You seem pretty close. Always going to his cave. At midnight.”

“Whoa, whoa, hey. You spy on me?”

“Of course!” Kenyatta smirked.

“Well I don’t ALWAYS go to the cave. Usually I just catch him on the way there and we really only say a few phrases in passing. It’s small talk and nothing more.”

“You’re defensive again.”

“And you’ve been reading too many books.”

Lillie and Kenyatta stared at each other with increasing levels of frown before they both cracked up laughing.

“Okay, tell me honestly! Do you really think that Einar would be interested in ME?!” Lillie gasped. “He’s a three thousand year old galdur with TWO onenesses, and I’m a human who’s vaguely in my late twenties. I have nothing to do all day but run around helping people.”

“Do you like fishing?”

“Yes.”

“Then yeah, I think he would like you.”

“What, romantically?”

“You’re asking about this just to get me off the topic of you potentially having a crush on Jel.”

Lillie’s face went bright pink once more. “What? No way. He’s so obsessed with the night. I need sunshine to survive.”

“You’d make a great pair. Night and light.”

“We would be a very sleepy pair.”

“Good thing you’re learning how to make comfortable beds. If you keep going at it, you might be able to make a bed that’s good enough for…” Kenyatta trailed off when she realized how uncomfortable Lillie looked.

“I think we’re done with this conversation for now. See you later?”

“Yeah. Bye.” Kenyatta waved briefly as Lillie zoomed away.

[coping-via-clint-eastwood]

DISCLAIMERS‼️‼️‼️

Before anyone starts reading the content, I have to make some statements.

Most importantly, I do not watch Jujutsu Kaisen, or any anime for that matter, so please do not expect to see any more of this type of content from me. I only made this because my friend @mcliancraft is into it, and I love talking with her about it, and she told me that Yuji canonically likes Human Centipede (I'm sorry bro but this is why Sukuna possesed you).

Anyway, both mcliancraft and I love Red Flag, the song that Tom Cardy and Montaigne made about Human Centipede (watch it):

And I was horrified to learn that Yuji likes Human Centipede, and commented that the only good thing to come out of it was Red Flag, which led to me making this sort of incorrect quotes crack thing, where Yuji and Megumi quote the lyrics of the song. Even though it's a shitpost, I spent too much effort typing it out word for word not to share it publicly. So that is what you will find after Keep Reading. Enjoy.

Megumi: The date started off so well. Begin my night not expecting the fright of my life. He was perfect from what I could tell. How could I not see the danger right in front of me?

Yuji: My favourite food is fish

Megumi: Baby that's my favourite too

Yuji: I love cartoon dogs

Megumi: Baby I love Scooby-Doo. Hey baby, what's your favourite film? He said -

Yuji: The best movie of all, a masterpiece of art called - HU. MAN. CENTIPEDE. HU. MAN. CENTIPEDE.

Megumi: I think that I'm gonna get murdered tonight.

Yuji: HU. MAN. CENTIPEDE. NOT. IR. RONICALLY.

Megumi: He said -

Yuji: The costume design was a highlight!

Megumi: (oh my god I'm gon get stabbed)

Yuji: I like it for the plot!

Megumi: Tell me what the plot's about...

Yuji: German doctor sews three people ASS. TO. MOUTH!

Megumi: Cool (!)

Yuji: HU. MAN. CENTIPEDE.

Megumi: Please. God. Save. Me. I think that's a red. Flag. I don't want to get. Stabbed. He said -

Yuji: Human Centipede is a tour de force

Megumi: I think, "Holy shit, I'm gonna be the main. Course!" He said-

Yuji: I admire the narrative of character growth.

Megumi: I try to get the waiter's attention by blinking in morse. Code.

Yuji: Why are you blinking so much?

Megumi: I've got something in my eye.

Yuji: *hand turns into Sukuna's* Here let me get it out.

Megumi: No thank you - I don't wanna die.

Choso: Bonjour. Sir was blinking at me, is this because your date is a freak?

Yuji: *holds up shirt to reveal Sukuna's mouth saying "I love centipede"*

Megumi: No.

Choso: Very good then. Bon appetit.

Yuji: Stop hiding behind your silly made-up red flag to not take a chance on the best relationship you never had.

Megumi: Maybe you're right and I'm looking for excuses. My heart's got bruises but I'm ready to choose this love!

Yuji: You could be my world, the love of my life. One day we'll get married and be husbands for life.

Megumi: With a tasteful ceremony, and the wedding of our dreams!

Yuji: Only if the wedding is themed!

Megumi: Tell me what the theme's gonna be!

Yuji: HU. MAN. CENTIPEDE. HU. MAN. CENTIPEDE.

Megumi: That way we could save on the catering bill.

Yuji: HU. MAN. CENTIPEDE. Only one mouth to feed.

Megumi: If you are the best man, you know the deal. Pucker up! I can finally open myself up to love!

Yuji: I CAN FINALLY SEW A MOUTH TO A BUTT!

Megumi: Hu. Man. Centipede.

Yuji: Hu. Man. Centipede.

[aeuriyi]

what could’ve been.

pairings aemond targaryen x helaena targaryen

synopsis in the midst of her own wedding, helaena sneaks away with her odd-eyed brother.

warnings typical targaryen incest

notes based off the show, i haven’t read the books so this oneshot may seem very out of place and doesnt make sense timeline wise lol, not canon compliant

i do not give anyone to translate or republish my work without my permission.

it was a magnificently decorated place.

a wreath hung from the ceiling, above the guests seated at the long oak table placed on the upper foundation in the room. the many candles riddled on the other tables within the room illuminated the room elegantly, though the biggest and most intricate candle sat on her table, just to the left of her.

she thought it symbolic how the biggest candle of them all rest on her table, the other candles were lesser in size, just like how the others that were invited to her wedding were ‘lesser’ than her. but she couldn’t feel less than a human right now.

suddenly, she feels the wrinkled palm of her father lay on top of her hands that rest on the clothed table, she fiddled with an eating utensil.

“my girl? are you alright?”

she flicked her gaze over to her dear father who stared back at her with an air of concern, it was only then helaena realised how sickly her father had looked, she thought for a moment that it should have been her asking him that.

“i am fine, i am just-”

she spots a glint of sapphire.

“i am not too fond of dancing.” she responds, viserys seems to nod and looks off to the guests who are entertaining themselves. the two in particular noticing aegon disappearing into the crowd.

“much like me i suppose, not that i am able to.”

a comforting silence followed, helaena was well aware that her father seemed solemn over his last daughter marrying, though she would still be residing with him.

moments passed and soon she watched as her mother helped her father retire to his chamber, his days were becoming shorter and the nights longer. and then there she was, alone.

the princess, the soon to be ‘queen consort’ once her father would pass and her brother husband, aegon would succeed him. all alone, on the table, though there were others that sat on the same long table as her, she had never felt so alone.

she locks eye with none other than the odd-eye prince, her brother, aemond.

it was a rare sight for them to be together, to ever be near eachother despite their blood relation.

they were good at hiding it.

slipping from the room and intertwining fingers with aemond, helaena knew that no one would notice aegon’s bride missing from her place, nor the disappearance of the odd-eye prince.

aemond took her to the closest servant room, knowing that it would be empty for all of the servant’s would be busy with the wedding.

it reminded her of all the times she and aemond snuck off together. she would allow him into her space and she into his. as a child she talked to him about bugs and the different kinds, her observation of them and how nature was such a beautiful thing, how it could create so much diversity.

when she was ten and two, she sat on the still of the window in her chamber, watching as the centipede crawl across her fingers.

aemond charged in, confidently presenting to her a new bug she had not recognised. behind him was a trail of mud and grass, his green clothing was covered in mud and his skin marked with redness that would eventually become bruises.

she remembered softly thanking him, cooing at the new bug. however before aemond could respond, their mother stormed in, dragging aemond away, muttering to herself something about aemond acting like a pig.

however, she didn’t only let him into her mental space, she had also let him into her physical space.

it had started with a few hand holds here and there, but it wasn’t shocking to her, they were siblings after all.

however as she reached the age of ten and four, it progressed. his hand would no longer shyly grasp onto hers. his touch lingered for too long.

at the age of ten and six, helaena laid beneath aemond in her chamber. her hands by her head, intertwined with aemond’s fingers and she looked upward, a dazed look.

“you are my muse helaena, i want you, and only you. all these years i have suffered in silence, not able to reach out for you, to touch you the way i want to. i want you so fucking badly and so tell me, do you yearn for me the same way i do for you?”

that was their first kiss.

and now at the age of ten and nine, she is sat on top of the table in the servants room, leaning against the stone walls. a golden ring embellished her ring finger on her left hand however, she held the hands of another man. erotically kissing the lips of a man who was not her husband.

the hands of her lover dropped from above her head and slowly made it’s way around her waist, rubbing up and down her sides. he pulls away, staring deeply at her, his expression was filled with happiness and she had felt the same way.

but she knew, it was momentarily.

because as soon as they would leave this room, helaena would leave as the wife of aegon ii targaryen, and aemond would leave as the odd eyed targaryen.

but for now, all helaena could do was indulge, drowning herself within aemond, experiencing what could’ve been.

notes i’m still new to tumblr helpfldpv anyways this wasn’t proof read so i hope u don’t mind the potential errors.

[nomsfaultau]

Passing

Oh but she was out of this world gorgeous. Not a drop of glamour necessary. Long legs, curves for days, full blonde hair, and just the way the entire coffee shop turned to look at her…Kuliis sighed with envy as they watched the stranger strut through the room. And yet bitterness tinged it, knowing they didn’t have even a shred of the confidence she did. Shame welled up quickly, a hot, sickly feeling. Kuliis wished they could be like that, flaunting everything. Unfaltering at nasty looks and upturned noses and old people hiding children. Kuliis longed for that confidence, wearing what they wanted to wear, being their true self. Not hiding in the corner, pretending to be someone they simply weren’t. The stranger’s voice purred out in a rich baritone as she ordered, and Kuliis instinctively cleared their throat. It hurt to pitch their own voice so high, just for the hope of passing. They nervously rubbed the jewelry dangling on their wrist, hating the illusion of a normal teenage girl that they relied on for safety. But it was easier this way, even if it hurt to pretend a little more each day.

Becca’s fingers snapped beneath Kuliis' stubby nose. “Helllooooo? Earth to Amy? Can’t you pay attention for five minutes?? What are you even looking…at…” The girl glanced over at the stranger, then whipped around fully, eyes bulging out of her skull. 

—----------------------

It was hideous. Becca clapped her hands over her mouth to stop herself from vomiting. Its legs– oh god its legs– there had to be at least fifty of them. An alien. Had to be. Ohh, Dad had warned her about the sorts that lived in big cities, but Becca hadn’t thought they’d let those types in. What if it attacked someone? Its long, segmented body curved through the shop, mangey yellow fur twitching and almost seeming to reach for innocent humans. Antenna twitched as it towered over the barista, growling out an order for a Frappuccino.

Amy was frozen, watching with massive blue eyes. Thinking quickly, Becca jerked her face away, leaning in close. “Don’t look at it directly,” she hissed. “That’s a sign of aggression with them.” Amy nodded mutely. She was on the verge of tears. Poor thing, this was probably her first time out of that backwater nowhere place she came from. The name was slipping Becca's mind at the moment. “They really shouldn’t let those freaks around anyone. I mean, think about how many people died in that stupid failed invasion! There could be, like, war veterans with PTSD. Like it’s a free country or whatever, I just think they should stay out of sight.” Amy gave a hesitant note of agreement. Becca dropped her tone to a conspiratorial whisper. “I heard there’s a new enchantment out. Forces a glamour so thick that even non-humans can’t see through it. Wouldn’t that be terrifying? Like you think you’re talking to a normal person when actually it's some space centipede freak?”

Amy nervously fidgeted with her bracelet. “Yeah. Wouldn’t that be scary…”

[faun-the-fawn77]

New Short Story Idea?

Okay so when I finish the Rengoku fic in my drafts I kinda wanna start a mini(?) story of something that has been in my mind for a bit now.

I've been reading a lot, and I mean A LOT, of fanfics centered around isekai!reader x various and now I want to do something similar! Who doesn't love a modern girl falling into a world they love? This post will be the first of two. There will be a poll below so you can vote for what it asks!

Now, onto the plot(?) of the story.

We got modern girl waking up in new world. The part of the timeline? I kinda wanna start it near where the trio are at that mansion with drum demon. I'll have them wake up in the forest nearby and wander towards the noise. She's adventurous and the way she woke up into the KNY world is maybe she went out into the forest she normally goes and its an alice in wonderland situation where she falls into a hole and after falling for so long she passes out. She has a backpack that she usually takes with her so its got essentials. I haven't really come across any fics where the reader has like their phone or anything modern with them except for their outfit. I think it would be interesting if she had her phone and of course other modern things in her pack. Maybe food from her time, water bottle, battery pack with cords, polaroid camera(?), another set of clothes, and MAYBE a few of the KNY manga. It'd be cool if the art inside the books disappeared and were just blank? OR they stay the way they are and they show Amane who describes the scenes they open up to to Kagaya? And then he and his family is kind of the only people who know that she knows the future and he trusts her to let things take its course but she obviously will save the ones that she wants... cough cough rengoku cough cough... anyway!

it'll just follow the plot but with a new character from the modern world who spouts nonsense(Gen Z slang cause it would be funny seeing their confused faces when reader/oc starts dropping words like "rizz" and "gyat"). Maybe have that language barrier as well. Make reader/oc learn japanese(she'll only know the basics at first and definitely every curse word cause thats amazing). The few manga she has with her? Lets say she has volumes 18-20. Amane chooses the 20th volume to skim through.

Now, for the characters main characteristics(?) I guess. The obvious one being her breathing style. I would have gone with my main thing and choose ice but it's kind of generic cause i've seen quite a bit of fanfics with the reader/oc having that breath style. I kinda wanted to go with a more animal-like one like Obanai. He's the only one who has a style that's animal related and it would be amazing if we could get someone else who has an animal breath style. I actually might make three posts and have this one be about the breath styles to choose from.

Yeah, we're gonna do breath styles first so I can get an image of reader/oc's personality.

Poll below:)

I was gonna go for ten but I think these 8 are the most interesting to me. Dragon is actually calling to me but thats because I've been watching a lot of Game of Thrones...I'm actually putting it off because I've heard that the "Red Wedding" is the worst thing to ever witness and while I have not been spoiled for it, the reactions I have seen from people who were watching it for the first time made me scared but also insanely curious. If it really is bad then I feel prepared but that's because I'm going with it being as bad as me watching all three Human Centipede movies at a not appropriate age to watch said movies. That was off topic, I'm sorry.

Vote away! Next post will be to choose if you want it to be an "x reader" or an OC that I can create cause I love doing that and it makes me happy and gives me a chance to pick up my Apple Pen again.

The last poll will be the love interest(s). Do we want one or all? We will see>:)

[ongreenergrasses]

on prom night i stayed the night at my girlfriend’s house, and she wanted an excuse to get close to me so she was like let’s watch a horror movie. and i was like …k. and she picked the human centipede. she did achieve her goal of having me be close to her. i have nightmares about it to this day.

anyway modern au johanna and annie

[curltee]

(my bros commentary while watching THC1 )

"Are those his dogs? Hes crying cuz its badly photoshopped"

"Crying while carrying a whole ass gun"

"Bitch thats the point of a present"

"Whats this suspicious nightclub theyre going to."

"Does she know how phones work?

"Shes the dumb bitch in this group"

"Straight up, the drama team needs to learn how to take phone calls like he does. Fake phone calls"

"Um whys he looking like that when he injects her?"

"The sexual tension of this scene right now...wild. Pls tell me rn that this is secretly a torture porn???"

"Ofcourse hes gonna take it personally you twig"

"He can be a gardener"

"What a gentlemen, he even carries him"

"Dang he got a screamer here. And i thought those two girls were bad enough"

"Im sorry i just cant get over the shape of his fucking head"

"Hes like attractive, but in a creepy way"

"jenny gives me the mom come pick me up im scared deal"

"Can we appreciate that he has the decency to not hit the women. Yeah straight up he just awakens them so calmly. with the girls its like "hi besutiful goodmorning!" Then just fucking smack the guy on the face

"Id rather let him wake me up by smacking me than creepily stroke my hair like that"

"Why not hit that glass with your butt?"

"Why is he apologizing for not shooting her?"

"Oh my god shes really is the dumbest bitch alive. I thought jenny was but no"

"Fuck both jenny and the asian dude bitch runnn"

I could watch somebodys head cut off but not a butt removal"

"Okay but why the guy who screams alot placed at the front ???"

"Dang should have put jenny at the front to get a head action. unless hes into dudes"

"Do you think he has sex with it? If so which end would he prefer more? Or do you think he sees it as innocent but creepy way? Like this is my centipede child i love you"

"If he gives them painkillers does he only have the choose one but triple the amount of painkillers?"

Poor girls, one is literally eating her friends ass...forever"

"Okay so..nazi european madman. kamikaze shithole..What racial slur would be next"

"His chicken noise reminds me of squilliam"

"Is he dying? Oh shitting my bad."

"Did he atleast take their tongues out? or do they taste everything? Thats jsut nasty "

"OHH NIPPLE HELL YEAH"

"These dudes are definitly not trained to be cops. They just claimed they are on a random day "

"Why do they dressed like our uncles?"

"MAKE HIM FALL MAKE HIM FALL WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE HIM LIKE THAT YOU IDIOT".

"Out of all stairs why the spiral ones"

"A wild human centipede 🎶 got chased by a doctor 🎶 will the centipede make it🎶 or get eaten alive 🎶 find out in our next episode of planet earth"

"Oh yeah hes licking it. thats gross"

"He really just crawled themselves into a room with no plan. its going good so far"

"So did she just assume the glass was still broken. Does she have no concept of time. Probably not "

"The amount of grunts they had to record for this"

"Thats a deep cut"

*Heiter got shot* "Thats satisfying"

"Annnnd shes dead. or passed out atleast. Oh no shes really dead"

"I swear they hold eachothers hands very much"

"Oh they shot this scene really well. Like the angle and everything. Props to her can translate dread into her eyes. This is makes me sad."

"Imagine being in the middle and your counterparts are fucking dead. Thats gonna be her motto is she survives this"

[despair-to-future-arcs]

Word of advice Nagi, if we end up collaborating with other organisations, we Anons have taken a MASSIVE reputation hit with the Kisagari Foundation lately. Can’t say anything more then that but all we can say is we were set up big time.

Oh dear... that bad, huh? Well sorry but I'm a bit pre-occupied...

Hey I finish the food, can we watch the film now?

*looks at the tray then at her* Seems you ate everything...

Very well, since you ate it - let's watch it then.

Fucking awesome, let's watch this!

*Nagi goes to set the film in the DVD Player which she sits down*

And now, time to watch...

Heh, man - I never got to watch this film since grandma wouldn't allow me but since she choked, that means I can watch whatever I want!

But still, aren't you excited? I bet your totally scared!

'Scared', hm? I mean... maybe I was when I was younger...

Younger...?

Yes, the film was release on 30 August 2009 at the London FrightFest Film Festival and officially release in 30 April 2010, I remember attending the August 30th showing which at the time I was 16 years old when I went with my cousin.

Meaning this doesn't phase me, but I'm sure you will enjoy it, won't you Hiyoko?

Wa-Wait, you... you watch this before...!

Well yes, I did - in fact I watch a lot of horror and slasher films in my youth, in fact all the games and movies you were watching are actually mine.

So c'mon, let's watch it! I haven't seen this film in years, watching how the human body reacts to being turn into a centipede, being force to eat the shit of the patients and even how the sequels of this film were all based on others watching the first and second film!

O-O-Okay...suuuure... (Oh fuck me...)

[X]

*After that Nagi and Hiyoko began to watch the film*