#let grant be the one who taught sydney!

[thoughtfulchaos773]

Wishbones

But what about Sydney's wishbone tattoo and how does it relate to Carmy listening to Thomas Keller's demonstration on removing the wishbone?

Once Keller walks away, Carmy removes it his own way and saves time with the wishbone. I think it shows Carmy having his own unique skills and knowledge that he can pass down to his family.

I was curious and looked up Alinea Owners. I think Sydney learned from Thomas Keller, in a sense, how to remove a wishbone, but like Carmy's method, she removes it her own way - remember they mirror each other.

Maybe next season, they'll show her past in Alinea.

I say this because Grant Achatz is the co- owner of Alinea, worked for Trotter and The French Laundry, and was the sous chef. He trained under Thomas Keller.

Legacy.

[loveletters4teo]

this blog was called a love letter for a reason, yet i stopped sending them when we were finally together. my apologies, darling, allow me to start over again. 📬

i wouldn’t waste any second of taking this life where i get to love you every second for granted again.

it honestly doesn’t make sense to start a letter in the middle of the month either, but you’d tell me that it’s me just being me— so here goes. 🪻

hello, my dearest.

writing my feelings out felt so hard back in the day, you can name every single emotion a normal person would feel and it would hit me all at once just thinking about you. we’ve known each other for a year and we’ve been dating for almost a year, it honestly feels crazy to think about it. you’ve heard me talk about how impossible our relationship would be; i thought you’d be a friend that i will only admire from afar, or worse, the woman i was grateful to talk to at least once in my life, but life didn’t let our stories to be written that way. you’ll always listen to me with your defenses whenever i bring this up because you’ll tell me i was the one who broke your heart first by saying that i wasn’t looking for any relationship when i was just so scared to lose you even though it’s only been days since we met.

those days turned weeks, those weeks turned a month, and a couple more, and now it’s been a year. you’ve seen me cry, you’ve seen me get angry, frustrated. i tend to lash out at you, i tend to leave you out in the open, you’ve seen me get so scared, but you were always here; the same woman who i thought was going to leave me after a couple of weeks talking. my eyes feels heavy right now—i know, i should’ve washed it last night and didn’t let my ugly sobs put me to bed, but here i am, struggling to open my eyes as i chuckle to myself because ah, my girlfriend will always be right.

in every medium i liked, you were always there to listen and try it out yourself to see why i like it. i’m quite good at minecraft now and it’s because of you. the skeletons and creepers don’t scare me that much anymore because you taught me how to fight them properly. d&d is not that confusing anymore because you operated the campaign in a way where i’ll get to express myself better before hopping in the actual game. facing my feelings head on doesn’t feel scary anymore. in fact, i learned to express if there’s anything wrong and if there’s anything in there, but i can’t understand what exactly it is yet.

the percy to my annabeth, the annabeth to my percy, the lucy to my lockwood, the falin to my marcille, the marcelline to my bubblegum, the sydney to my dina, the dina to my ellie, the mj to my peter, the peter to my mj, the yang to my blake, the vi to my caitlyn, the hiccup to my astrid, the bagi to my tina, the michael to my lily, the lily to my michael, the max to my chloe, the chloe to my rachel—half of these were mostly my influence and this shows how much you love me, but most of it all; the ogway to my bunbunemoji in all caps, the teo to my dana.

thank you so much for always loving me. a part of me doesn’t understand why you always do, but a part of me is grateful that you do. a part of me is grateful to know you, and a part of me is happy to see that you feel the same way when you’re with me. a part of me wants to help you when it’s your turn to be sad, a part of me wants to fight anyone immediately who makes you feel sad. if you put all of them together, every single part of me loves you.

te iubesc, philtatos. 🫂💛 i hope you never get tired of me.

yours truly, always and forever,

@loveletters4dana

[callmeblake]

Frank Iero, New York, NY, June 2019 (X)

Aug 29, 2019, 09:10am

Frank Iero May Just Be His Own Puppet Master

Photo Credit: Audrey Lew

Interview below the cut

Derek Scancarelli

Contributor

Hollywood & Entertainment

I am a music journalist living in New York City.

Frank Iero is breathing deeply and fighting off nausea. This isn’t uncommon for the 37-year-old guitarist and vocalist, given his predilection for debilitating anxiety. But on this occasion, it isn’t pre-show jitters.

“Oh my god, I hate this f*cking boat,” Iero says, as the docked vessel on which he sits knocks against a pier in the Lower East Side of Manhattan. Iero and his band, The Future Violents, just finished an intimate Saturday matinee show as fans sweat, sang and caught a glimpse of the Statue of Liberty.

It had been about 16 years since Iero and his now defunct band, My Chemical Romance (the band broke up in 2013), first performed on water. In July of 2002, the band released its debut album, I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love. In October of 2003, the soon-to-be emo heroes performed alongside New York Hardcore legends Sick Of It All at an aquatic gig booked by New Jersey college radio station WSOU. And in June of 2004, My Chemical Romance released Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge, the band’s platinum-selling breakthrough record. In a matter of two years, Iero’s life changed dramatically.

In 2019, Iero still hasn’t found his sea legs, but a lot more has changed. He’s fathered three children, released three full-length solo records (including 2019’s Barriers), and survived a near-death experience. And as he gets older, he finds truth in life’s greatest clichés.

“Time flies, it just screams by,” Iero says. “You think you’re appreciating the time, but it’s easy to take it for granted. It’s a shame.”

But Iero is trying his hardest to pay attention to the little things, especially when it comes to family. He and his wife, Jamia, have three children together: nine-year-old twin daughters, Cherry and Lily, and a seven-year-old son named Miles.

“It’s wonderful to see them evolve and come into their own,” Iero says. “But it’s funny how personalities are innate. We shape the way they experience things or teach them the ropes, but for the most part, I’ve found that we are who we are when we’re born.”

From the start, Iero has seen an even split in the twins’ personalities. Cherry, he says, most behaves like her mother, whereas Lily possesses her father’s attitude.

“Some of the sh*t I hear coming out of my daughter's mouth,” Iero says laughing. “My God! It’s stuff I think but never say — they don't know to be ashamed yet! It's amazing and honest and pure. And I know exactly where she's coming from because I feel the same way.”

As part of fostering a relationship of trust and honesty, Iero has been age-appropriately transparent with his kids about the 2016 accident that almost killed him, his brother-in-law and guitarist Evan Nestor and his manager Paul Clegg.

While unloading gear from their van in Sydney, Australia, a city bus crashed into the group and their vehicle. In a 2017 interview with MTV, Iero recounted, in vivid detail, the moment he was dragged underneath the bumper of the bus, the screams of his brother-in-law, and the blood pooling from his manager.

Although Iero was able to walk into an ambulance carrying one of his friends, the scene was a spectacle overrun with emergency personnel — they even landed a rescue helicopter in nearby Hyde Park. Despite serious injuries, amazingly, there were no fatalities.

When Iero returned home from the hospital, he explained to his children that he was in a car accident, but that it was a singular freak incident.

“You don't want to lie,” he says. “They're getting older. Their friends and their parents are on the internet. They're asking questions. It does get back to them.”

Iero was as honest as possible, but avoided any gory details. He was also conscious that it wouldn’t be long before he would travel for work again — and he didn’t want to scare his kids any further.

Almost four years later, residual damage from the crash is impossible to ignore. Nestor has nerve damage in his leg that may never be corrected. Clegg’s leg and knee have undergone multiple surgeries, but are in poor shape. And Iero still has a tear in his shoulder that hurts every time he plays the guitar. Despite the pain, he’s afraid to undergo surgery.

“I was lucky enough to walk away and still play,” Iero says. “If I were to test fate again and go under the knife, if something were to go wrong… to let that be taken from me … no, I can't.”

On some days, the emotional toll of surviving such a traumatic accident weighs more heavily. Iero describes his recovery as non-linear: some days he feels collected and in control, other days the memory rushes back into his mind.

After his new band finished recording Barriers, Iero and his team went back to Australia for appointments pertaining to the accident and corresponding litigation. As soon as he exited the plane, Iero felt like he’d returned to the horrific scene. For the following week, he was barraged by an unending state of panic.

“You go through these instances of PTSD,” he says. “You never know what's going to trigger and send you all the way back to the beginning with recovery.”

Iero greatly underestimated how difficult his return to Australia would be. When navigating to a doctor’s office near where the accident occurred, he couldn’t bring himself to walk down the street. And suddenly, he felt surrounded by buses.

“I don't know if this is true,” he says. “But it felt like every other car on the street was one of these f*cking buses. They were everywhere. It was frightening. I couldn't do anything. I was shaking like a leaf.”

Despite the traumatic flashbacks, Iero continues to reflect on that day. In the promotional run for Barriers, he discussed the accident at length. And on the record itself, he addresses the complicated ripple effect it’s had on his entire sense of self.

“I don't think it needs to define me,” Iero says. “But it was something I needed to talk about on this record. It's not something I could sweep under the rug. But do I want to dwell on it every day and relive it? No. But I think about it constantly. I feel the pain constantly. It's on my mind.”

In recent interviews, Iero has tended to frame a few philosophical takeaways from his ordeal. In simple terms, the first idea is that he’s found a new lease on life — that everything happens for a reason and he’s been given an opportunity to seize the day. The second philosophy is much darker, a sort of survivor’s guilt compounded with fear and existential dread. The third and most abstract consideration is closest to Simulation Theory — where Iero has the ability to control his own artificial timeline.

Sometimes, Iero questions if actually died that day. He wonders: Is this all real?

“It’s hard. No one can tell you what to believe,” he says. “But you come to this realization, ‘Well, this is real to me, the hand I was dealt, so I have to make the best of it!’”

Through the acceptance of uncertainty, Iero surmises that he just may be his own puppet master.

“If this is a figment of my imagination,” Iero says. “If this is all in my head, then I am the master of my own destiny. If I want to do something, I can manufacture it. And if it's not the case, then at least it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Maybe putting positive vibes out into the universe is beneficial. If we didn't make it and we're just going through this weird labyrinth in my mind, I can do anything I want.”

And lately, he’s been doing just that. Call it sorcery or the power of positive thinking, but Iero is motivated. For Barriers, he was able to assemble a dream band, The Future Violents (different lineups of his backing band have previously gone by The Cellabration and The Patience), featuring his brother-in-law Nestor on guitar, Thursday’s Tucker Rule on drums, Murder by Death’s Matt Armstrong on bass, and Kayleigh Goldsworthy on keyboard.

The theme of the album — and his own internal dialogue — mostly relates to tragedy and timing. Did the universe have a course set out for him? Or was he just some random victim?

“The crazy thing is that you didn't do anything wrong,” Iero says of the accident. “Yet, all of this stuff was taken from you and you have to make these decisions. You get angry a lot.”

He continues: “These random, abrupt, violent actions. Do they happen to us? Or for us? I wouldn't have been able to make this record if it didn't happen. And it made me realize a lot of things about myself. Am I happy it happened? No. But I'm happy where I am right now.”

Iero views Barriers as an exercise in vulnerability. If the aftermath of his accident taught him anything, it’s that success was meaningless to his character, but adversity helped him grow. For the first time, addressing childhood trauma helped Iero expose himself in a way that felt freeing.

“When you put something to song, it gives that memory weight,” Iero explains. “If you never talk about it, it's almost like it didn't happen. There's a fine line between relinquishing that power to this memory, situation or trauma, or holding that power over it and creating your own narrative from it.”

Barriers also intertwines Iero’s childhood experiences with his current perspective as a father. This go around, he felt comfortable writing about his parents’ divorce — the couple split when he was three and divorced when he was seven.

He looks back on the unpleasantness of the process and his consequential understanding of his mother’s issues with addiction, depression and mental illness. On his 2016 record, Parachutes, Iero first referenced his mother’s struggles and his own liability to inherit her traits. He’s still horrified by the idea of predeterminism.

“When you're a young kid being surrounded with it, it doesn't feel right,” Iero says. “You're not happy. You're scared. You're constantly concerned for your parent. It’s almost as if you become the caregiver.”

He continues: “Then you see yourself falling into these patterns that you were witness to and maybe in a roundabout way were taught. That addiction, that depression, runs through you. It's easy to fall off that cliff. I don't want that for my kids and I need to stop this cycle. Like this sh*t stops with me. Whether it be I get okay, or I f*cking turn my lights out.”

It’s this sort of tongue-in-cheek use of concerning language that keeps Iero’s fanbase enthralled, yet somewhat on edge. Take for example, in the comment section for his video “Young & Doomed,” some diehard fans are troubled by his repeated use of the words “hurt myself again.” While he’s surprised to hear about the response, he counters that the record is ultimately meant to feel uplifting and positive, even if addressing dark topics.

“I don't think that we should strive for perfection,” Iero says. “This idea that we should all have this perfect life and be pretty and purse our lips to post a picture on social media is bullsh*t. The things that make us unique are important.”

He continues: “Sometimes we're our own worst enemies and we hurt ourselves. Those scars, though, are important. They're beautiful. ‘Young And Doomed’ is a call to arms to celebrate the things people think are wrong with us.”

Now, Iero just hopes his story and music inspire fans to try, fail and try again.

“You don't find out who you are unless you get a scar and get hurt,” Iero says. “You should be hurt, hurt other people, and learn that it feels terrible to hurt someone else. You should feel sorry for it and make amends for it. These are important lessons to be a better person. You find out who you truly are by attacking things that scare you the most.”

Frank Iero is currently touring Europe with Laura Jane Grace & The Devouring Mothers.

[dumturtle]

new year, old habits → quirtle

TAGGING → Quincy Davis (@quincydavis) & Turtle Dum

TIMELINE → New Year’s Eve 2020

SETTING →  A Wonderland Party

SUMMARY → Quincy tags along with Sydney to Wonderland for the new year, and as the countdown to midnight winds down, finds herself spending time with an old flame...

Turtle tended to view New Year's Eve differently than most of his friends did. It was a year's birthday, but just like birthdays, he didn't feel the need to view it in such a strict box. A new year could begin whenever he made a conscious decision to reset some part of his life, as far as he was concerned, but his views didn't stop him from enjoying celebrating in the more traditional ways. He'd been particularly glad when he'd heard that Quincy would be joining them for the holiday as Sydney's guest; he didn't see how he could possibly end up letting the calendar force him into starting something new when he was ringing in the holiday with someone old. She was his favorite presence from his past, though, and as midnight drew nearer, he found himself scooting closer to her on a couch, drink in hand and curiosity on his mind. "You wouldn't have rather spent a night celebrating the new with your potential new beau?" he asked. He hadn't checked with her to see how things had been progressing on that front, but her aura had been clouded when she'd spoken of it before, and even after she'd broken his heart all those years ago, he'd never been able to stop himself from worrying for her peace of mind.

Quincy was the type of person who loved any excuse to dress up, drink something bubbly, and spend time with friends and family, and so of course New Year's was one of her favorite holidays. Sure, Halloween had fun opportunities for fun, sexy costumes, and Christmas meant lots of presents, but New Year's represented a fresh start, which was something people always needed, Quincy's best friend included. Sydney had been going through a draining, emotional year which had come to a particularly turbulent climax, and so when the opportunity to spend part of the holidays with Sydney arose, Quincy took it without a second thought. She loved her family but there was something extra fun about getting to spend the day with her best girl and get herself pretty so that she could get compliments from more people than just her father. Like Turtle, for example. If she could get a compliment from her ex turned friend who was just a little too pretty for his own good, that would be ideal. As he joined her on the couch, she smiled on instinct, but that smile froze at his question. She chewed on her lip for a second and then shook her head. "Nope! New Year's is kind of a big one for me, I'd rather spend it with two of my favorite people," she smiled, reaching out and touching his knee at the word 'favorite' so he'd know she meant him. Touching him was a bad idea though. Turtle was already needlessly hot, but with how much Quincy had been needing physical intimacy lately, breaking the touch barrier was enough to make her pull back her hand and sit on it. "And besides, he's nice and it's been fun, but not seeing him during this break made me realize that... well, if I'm being honest with myself, I might have been letting my desire to rip the band-aid off and start dating again, and my hormones, make the bulk of my dating decisions for me," Quincy admitted with a laugh, taking a sip of her champagne to cover up the fact that she was embarrassed by oversharing.

Turtle hummed thoughtfully under his breath at Quincy's words; it was a familiar tune, one that had developed over the years and that often came to him when he wasn't sure what to say about a specific topic. It had never really cleared his head before; it simply let him pause, instead of letting himself become confused by lingering too long on a topic. Quincy's love life had never been a great one for him anyway. He hadn't yet found someone else that made him feel the same kind of completeness he felt when he was here in Wonderland, and he'd known the whole time she was with Emmett that the way they fit together wasn't harmonious. It was too soon, though, to know if he should agree with her assessment of Khalid, or if that was just a sliver of past selfishness snaking its way into his present. "Absence didn't make the heart grow fonder," Turtle finally concluded, sensing Quincy didn't want eyes on her as she talked about it, so letting his eyes follow the bubbles rising in her champagne flute instead. "Some people are just meant to be the tea you enjoy at a party, some are meant to be the cup you keep using your whole life," Turtle shrugged, not judging her in the slightest for chasing that feeling. It wasn't as if he hadn't done the same thing before himself. He waved his hand towards an upside down clock in the corner, its hands rapidly approaching new years. "A new start comes for me whenever I want it, but for those of you who subscribe to the calendar... your fresh start comes in just a few minutes, he told her, raising his own champagne glass towards her to clink in a toast. "Maybe that's the sound of a reset for me," he proposed, letting his glass tap against hers again. He didn't actually want to start over just yet, but he did like the idea of maybe seeing Quincy smile f he said the right thing. "A new chapter beginning with a favorite person of my own, even if I'm getting a slight head start."

Quincy could've hummed along with Turtle's pensive hum, but she didn't. She knew the sound well though, and usually right after he did it, he let loose some morsel of wisdom. It wasn't often Quincy conceded that people were smarter than her, but in all honesty, she probably thought Turtle was the smartest person she'd ever met. She hadn't even realized how much she needed someone to tell her that her wanting to cut Khalid off after only a few months wasn't selfish or crazy until she'd started ranting about her current date-mate to her ex. Which, yes, she did realize was rude of her, but Turtle was more than her ex at this point, right? He was one of her best friends, and he knew her better than just about anybody. If he thought she was being too rash, he'd tell her. But he seemed to agree and she let out a little sigh of relief. "No, no it didn't," she said quietly, swirling her champagne glass. "And I guess sometimes you don't know until you drink for the cup." She looked up to him with a smile on her face, already feeling better and validated about one of her first big decisions in the new year. She was glad she'd tried with Khalid; it meant she was ready to try again, and that she knew what she wanted and what she didn't. Her eyes followed his hand towards the upside down clock and her grin grew wider -- how very Wonderlandian, to have an upside down clock. "To a fresh start," Quincy nodded, clinking her glass against Turtle's. She laughed when he proclaimed he had a new year's start ahead of her own and she swatted his knee with her free hand. "Wait, no, that can't be it! A new year is totes special! You need more of a moment, to really mark a new chapter! If it's not when the clock strikes then it has to be, like, something else!" She paused for a minute and cocked her head to the side before asking, as casually as one possibly could, "Like, I don't know, do you kiss somebody at midnight for the New Year down here? Or is that just an Auradonian thing?"

Turtle had always been introspective, and tonight, he wasn't under any sort of outside influence yet, sans a few sips of champagne. That meant his mind was almost too clear, was vibrating on a frequency he wasn't used to. That frequency couldn't help but make him wonder if perhaps he had any sort of ulterior motive for not wanting Quincy to continue dating Khalid. He didn't think so, though; he simply wanted what was best for her, and the energy coming off of her whenever she talked about him wasn't as bright and vibrant as he knew Quincy could be at her happiest. Still, perhaps a person more normal than him would think they didn't want to see an ex they still cared so deeply for with someone else, particularly someone who seemed to be more of the same. He shrugged, letting his gaze move from the clock to the portrait beside it, a collage of eyes that he always felt like was staring at him. The eyes didn't seem to be boring into him, though, so his assessment of his own motives must be correct. "The first high of the year usually comes with the caterpillar," he told her, wracking his brain for other traditions that he could possibly share with her when her question stopped him in his tracks. "Tweedletown and Wonderland are part of Auradon now," he replied instantly, not sure why the words flowed out of him so readily. They didn't tend to do things the same way here by any stretch of the imagination, but perhaps a kiss to start the new year wasn't the worst of Auradonian offerings. Perhaps it could be cleansing for Quincy, after a failed attempt at a new relationship, to fall into a sort of time warp towards an old one. One that had taken him entirely longer than it had taken her to let go of, granted, but... "Lips, I think, are the second or third most used bodypart for most people, depending on whether or not you enjoy having conversations with your eyes closed. It's only fitting that they get to be one of the first parts to celebrate an ushering in of something new."

Quincy loved feeling smart and like things made sense to her, but she also enjoyed trying to figure out something that didn't follow the type of logic she was taught; for example, the first high of the year coming with the caterpillar was a sentence that left her delightfully grasping as pieces to put together and form a puzzle. Even more simultaneously confusing and happy-making, though, was Turtle's placement of his home as part of Auradon. In the context of the traditions they were talking about, it sent an anticipatory tingle up Quincy's spine to settle on her smile. Not that she automatically assumed Turtle would want to kiss her as the clock struck midnight. Just because it wouldn't be out of sorts for a Wonderlandian to do didn't mean Turtle has to do it, or even that he would with her. For all Quincy knew, he was two seconds from getting up and finding someone else in the festivities to share that moment with, but ever since Turtle had sat down next to her, all other people around them had lowkey vanished to Quincy. Maybe it was just because he always made her feel like she was right to believe in herself, maybe it was because he was insanely hot and she hadn't gotten much in a while, or maybe it was because deep down something about Turtle had always calmed her and excited her at the same time, but either way, kissing him felt like it would be the perfect way to begin a new year. Just one kiss with an old friend and then everything would be off to the best start it could have. "Right? I totes agree. And as someone who talks basically, like, all the time, my lips are more than ready to jump into the new year," Quincy said softly, her eyes looking over at the clock. Midnight was basically any moment now and if she was going to get a kiss, it was now or never. Normally she would be a little more direct and aggressive but taking her history with Turtle into consideration, kissing him out of the blue was lowkey a no-no. She wanted permission before she made her move. "Do you think yours would want to celebrate with mine?" she asked, taking a quick sip of champagne.

Turtle supposed that, if he were the sort of person to follow linear logic, he could see where Quincy's question came from. Typically, though, his thoughts didn't go in a straight line; lines swirled around and around in circles, creating beautiful patterns, instead of going from one spot to the next. Dots didn't connect, they usually collapsed, one on top of the other, until a flat piece of paper in his mind contained a dot that, should it become 3D, would stand exceedingly tall at this point from how often he'd grouped them together instead of drawing lines between them. Still, though; just because his brain wouldn't have gone there on its own didn't mean he didn't like the path that Quincy had proposed for them. Turtle loved the feelings of his brain on a high, and physical contact usually brought a high with it. In fact, back in the day kissing Quincy had felt better than any drug ever had, and he didn't know if their new status quo would allow for such an intense feeling anymore... but he also couldn't picture how it wouldn't still feel nice, all the same. "Wonderland wouldn't be a very welcoming place for you if I said no to that," Turtle told her, draining the last of the champagne from his glass in preparation for bidding 2020 goodbye. He could only choose so many old things to bring into the new year with him, and if the chance to kiss Quincy was traveling to 2021, then he certainly didn't have the space to bring in old, 2020 bubbles as well. He set the glass aside, licking his lips to make sure they weren't dry or cracked from smoking earlier, but all he tasted was sweetness from the champagne. And then, before he had time to think anymore, to wonder one last time if this was a good idea... people were counting, the upside down clock was chiming, and Turtle's hand was cupping Quincy's cheek, then sliding into her hair, as he guided her mouth towards him, ready for the celebration of lips she'd proposed.

It was hard not to cheer when Turtle ended up saying yes -- especially when he easily could've said no, he'd have had every right given their history -- but how happy Quincy was about it made it feel like a big deal, when it sooooooo wasn't. No, it was just exciting that she would be sharing such a nice moment with her sups hot awesome friend, that's all. Her sups hot awesome firne who's fingers across her skin make her cheek feel like it was on fire, and then his hand was in her hair and their mouths were touching and her hand found its way to his chest, clutching onto his shirt. She could hear the cheering around them as midnight came and went but everybody else sounded a million miles away as she opened her mouth to deepen the kiss, craving closeness as her whole body thrummed with a runaway heartbeat. Her other hand settled on his thigh as her tongue roamed, making itself at home in his mouth and claiming his air for probably far too long before finally pulling away, her face red at how overeager she'd been.

"Um...my lips were well taken care of, so I guess my tongue really wanted to celebrate too. And my hands," Quincy giggled, wondering how to explain herself, but it was hard to think too straight when her brain was still thinking about how good he smelled and how strong he felt under her touch. It was like she'd tripped down a rabbit hole of Turtle -- the only thing to do was fall, and so she blurted out "Does, um, any of the rest of you feel like celebrating with any of the rest of me? Because all of me feels like celebrating with all of you. Somewhere more private?" before she could stop herself. She really didn't expect the first thing that she'd do in 2021 to be shooting her shot with her ex but now here she was, and all she could hope was that no matter what happened next, she hadn't royally messed up their friendship in the new year.

The world held an infinite number of possibilities, some more likely to occur than others. Some much more likely to occur than others. 2020 Turtle hadn't foreseen this sort of thing occurring, couldn't have seen Quincy clutching onto his shirt or sliding her tongue into his mouth or even resting her hand on his thigh... But 2021 Turtle couldn't stop seeing it, couldn't think of anything but, really. His tongue deserved to celebrate, too; his hands wanted to reach out and touch her, or at least to urge her hand to explore more freely. It was a new year, a blank slate, and Wonderland was a place where anything could happen... And even before Quincy's words told him she wanted this to happen, his body was in agreement, wanting it too. "Definitely somewhere more private," Turtle agreed, surprised by how breathless he was already. He gestured towards the eye painting on the wall, the one he'd been inspecting just before midnight; now, he felt like it was watching them, staring at them, maybe even judging him. "The painting's been ruder than usual this year, he doesn't deserve any sort of show," he offered as way of explanation, but it was more than that. He knew that he couldn't stop now; he was like a bottle that had been uncapped, and he needed to be consumed, to be enjoyed before he could go flat. He didn't want this to go to waste, and he didn't want to share it, either. He didn't want prying eyes to make it more than it was, or roaming hands and eyes and everythings to find someplace they fit that wasn't on him. Turtle stood from the couch, thinking to extend his hand to Quincy and guide her off to a private place... then a part of his spirit that he hadn't connected with in some time made him scoop her up in his arms instead, whisking her off towards his room where they could continue this party on their own.

Somehow she hadn't actually expected Turtle to say yes but once he'd agreed to find somewhere more private, it was like Quincy's whole body sprang to life, all at once. All of it except for her brain, anyway, which was trying desperately to reach her and remind her that she had come to this party with Sydney and hadn't seen her in a minute, or that she deserved better than a one-night stand, or that whatever was about to happen could still totes end up messing up their friendship. However, her body was simply too loud as it cheered her on in and drowned out that good sense. After all, Sydney was here with her boyfriend; Quincy would hardly be missed. And as for it being a one-night stand, how could it be when Turtle would be around in her life for much longer than one night? They'd made it through weirder and worse in the past than giving in to how much their bodies wanted each other and come out friends on the other side, they could make it through this. "He really doesn't, especially considering how much of a show it's going to be" she practically purred, not even looking at the painting in question. To be fair, it was an unfair ask for anyone and anything but Turtle to hold her attention right now. The only way a wall could be interesting at all this deep into the unraveling of her deepening want was if Turtle pinned her against one. Her thighs ached to close around him just thinking about it. She was completely prepared to take his hand and follow him into whatever happened next, but she let out a gasp of delight and excitement when he swept her up in his strong, comforting arms to a night in Wonderland that she already knew she'd never forget.

[stargazerdaisy]

SHIP HISTORY MEME

Embrace your past and get to know your friends’ fandom origins!

Rules: Post gifs of your fandoms / ships starting with your most current hyperfixation and work backwards. (Bonus points if you share any stories about how or when you got into that ship! But not necessary!!) Then tag anyone whose fandom history you’d like to learn about!

I was tagged by @hithelleth - Thank you!  

The Rookie - Lucy Chen x Tim Bradford

Since we’re going form most recent to oldest, I must start with an Honorable mention to Katie trying to brainwash me with Chenford.  This may end up being a new ship, if I watch the damn show, because right now I’m rather obsessed with these pretty idiots.

Star Wars - Rey x Kylo Ren/Ben Solo

Technically this came before some of these others (i.e. when I watched The Last Jedi), but Reylo is one of my current hyperfixations.  This is a complicated, problematic at times ship, but oh how I love them, for their potential more than anything.  I’m also not heartbroken by the end of TROS, but I get an not-insignificant amount of joy at them being made canon (and I’m just laughing at the novelization trying to walk that back. Nice try, neeeever gonna happen.).

The Code - Maya Dobbins x John ‘Abe’ Abraham

There are no gifs for them as a couple, because they were never even hinted at being a ship in the show, but in a demonstration of my absolute susceptibility, @vesperass-anuna talked me into shipping them in about 4 minutes and 36 seconds and I have a whole AU sketched out with her and several started and not quite finished fics.  

Supergirl - Kara Danvers x Mon-El

I didn’t want to ship it, I didn’t like him at first, but he grew and changed, and seeing his devotion to Kara won me over.  And I won’t lie, knowing they fell in love in real life and got married and are now having a baby makes it even sweeter to me.  The key here was growth for both of them, and I think Season 3 really showed that.  I will always love Karamel, even though they’ve both moved on.

From Dusk Til Dawn - Seth Gecko x Kate Fuller

Yeah, I shipped them before I ever watched the stupid show.  That one is squarely on Evie.  She was megashipping them and got me to read fic (total, complete AUs) and I loved it all so much, that I had to watch the show.  It’s really not my type of show, and it was totally different than what I was expecting (how did I not know about the snake vampires?!?!?), but I ended up enjoying it sooooo much and shipping SethKate even harder.

and dammit, even though I’ve basically given up hope for a Season 4, they still have not ever officially said it was cancelled

Agents of SHIELD - Skye/Daisy Johnson x Grant Ward

SKYEWARD IS MY HEART AND SOUL AND THE REASON I AM HERE AND ACTIVE ON TUMBLR AND MADE SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS.  These two.  THESE TWO TOTAL IDIOTS, HOW I LOVE THEM.  They are opposites in a lot of ways, but also have so much in common, and their chemistry is just magnificent.  If you look at a lot of my other ships, you’ll see a lot of common dynamics with this one.  I will never ever ever get over them, I will be in this trash can for the rest of my life, and I will never see anyone else as their soulmates*.  These two belong together and you can (and should) project that on my tombstone.

*That doesn’t mean I hate anyone else either of them have been paired with.  I truly don’t.  There’s a lot about the Lincoln x Daisy relationship that I quite appreciated, and I was once again sucked into a ship by Ves, so I ship the OT3 of Skye x Ward x Lincoln, but I will always ship Skyeward above anything else.

Doctor Who - The Doctor x Rose Tyler

Behold, the ship that brought me to fandom.  I really never sought out additional material beyond a tv show/movie before.  But after Season 2 ended so heartbreakingly (and I knew exactly how it ended before I watched), I needed more.  I couldn’t just let them go.  I was 29 years old and started searching for fanfic.  And started reading it voraciously.  That is what actually brought me to tumblr in the first place.  I had exhausted Pinterest, but could see that tumblr was the source of a lot of what I loved, so I started an account and began exploring.  I didn’t really understand how it worked, or even used it super often, but it taught me the framework of fandom, so when later ships crashed and burned hit me, I knew where to go and what to look for.  

(two gifs, because Nine and Ten)

Alias - Sydney Bristow x Michael Vaughn

THE SHIP I SHIPPED BEFORE THE TERM SHIP WAS COMMONLY USED.  I started watching this show back in high school, with my dad; missed a season when I didn’t have cable; got back into it when my boyfriend (now husband) bought me the DVDs for my birthday; and sucked in most of his roommates as we watched it together.  It was pivotal for me and I will forever be so thrilled these two made it.

And Last but oh so not least,

Anne of Green Gables - Anne Shirley x Gilbert Blythe

I was raised on watching the Anne of Green Gables and Anne of Avonlea miniseries’.  As in, I still have the VHS tapes that I watched as a gradeschooler AND the DVDs and can recite almost the entire scripts.  I. LOVE. THEM.  I’ve read the whole series of books multiple times and just keep praying that my kids will read and love them someday. 

And let me just tell you, revisiting them as an adult, steeped in fandom and shipping dynamics, I realized just how much I have a Type™ and how these two really were the foundation for all of that.  

Gosh, this was so fun!  Thank you again, Hith!

I tag: @firstdegreefangirl, @evieoh, @orlissa, @ttinycourageous, @aurorafiberarts, @agenthaywood, @estrangedtimelord, @in-the-moving-castle, @diamondsmash​

[chickensarentcheap]

Best Part of Me -Chapter 55

Warnings: none

Tagging: @c-a-v-a-l-r-y​, @innerpaperexpertcloud​, @alievans007​, @ocfairygodmother​

They arrive in Mumbai at three thirty in the morning. Checking into a hotel just on the outskirts of the city; a simple and unassuming place owned by an ‘informant’ of Anil’s. An inside man with access to both Mahajan and the higher ups temporarily in charge of running his business and carrying out his dirty work. While their true identities are known only to the owner and a handful of his most trusted staff, they register under the fake names given to them prior to boarding the plane. There is to be no trail leading back to them and who they really are; using cash only for all purchases, given different cell phones with unlisted and untraceable numbers to communicate amongst each other with, signing the passenger manifesto before the flight with entirely different monikers. Assured that everything during their stay will be kept low key to avoid any suspicion from ‘the wrong crowd’; two guards in casual clothing assigned to the lobby, monitoring everyone that comes through the front doors. Granted use of the establishment’s personal conference room for all planning and strategic meetings, and for Yaz to set up his command post.

Anil’s money and influence are quite prominent; his dealings and interactions with those he comes across are always friendly, but remaining professional. He’s well liked. Respected. And perhaps more than a little feared. A man that presents himself as calm and level headed but whose tone and facial expressions never leave a doubt that he’s not to be crossed. There’s an edge to him; a grittiness just under the businessman in designer clothes and linen suits and silk ties that suggests a tough and checkered past. Tyler has done his research; digging up some of the truth behind Anil’s departure from Special Forces. It isn't as cut and dry as he led them to believe; it isn’t just vengeance for his brother that saw him and the military parting ways.  Multiple complaints of ‘excessive force’ against apprehended criminals -most drug and human traffickers- leading to an honorary discharge and no access to a pension. He knows there’s more to it than that; through his own experience with the SASR  and the tales of others who’d served in various branches of the military world wide. Most war machines and police forces turns a blind eye to roughening up -and even killing- more hardcore offenders like child molesters, traffickers, and terrorists. But the further he dug into Anil’s past, the most questions he walked away with. His search for the full story only led to heavily guarded military pages that even all the tricks Yaz had taught him over the years couldn’t get past.

He doubts it’s anything serious or scandalous. His money on involvement in missions kept under the radar and out of public knowledge; most likely involving top officials in the Indian government. He’s worked a handful of those jobs himself; everything kept on the down low, his true name and identity kept a secret; nothing more than a ghost or an urban legend behind a high profile assassination.

The room is far more spacious and inviting than the bland and sparsely furnished front lobby. Two queen sized beds and a large walk in closet, burgundy walls adorned with paintings encased in thick, highly polished gold frames, natural wood furniture and a small table with two chairs nestled in the corner by the balcony doors. It’s twelve stories up and he pauses momentarily to look out at the city in the distance; brightly lit skyscrapers and the glow of random lights in apartment buildings, the flashing red of stop signs.  The last time he’d ventured to Mumbai, Millie had been just turned two and a half months old and they were a week and a half away from finding out they were having another baby; staying in Mahajan’s cold and pretentious mansion, discussing how they couldn’t -in good conscience- leave Ovi behind.  They couldn’t -and wouldn’t- allow him to be raised in such a sterile and unloving environment; no one to protect him from his father’s enemies, never feeling the touch of someone who truly cared for him. It was inhumane; expecting any human to live like that, never mind a scared and impressionable kid.

They hadn’t even had a home themselves.  A situation beyond their control making it impossible to return to that small, two bedroom apartment just outside of Sydney.  But they’d made the best of it, taking Ovi with them when they’d headed for Colorado with nothing more than the clothes on their backs and whatever money was in their bank account.  

For now, this is home; no telling just how long he’ll actually be there. All that really matters is that there’s a bed to sleep in and hot, running water, and a toilet that actually works. The rest is just window decoration; needless trimmings and frills that he’ll either never touch or even acknowledge. Living on the job is the best way to do things; no true comforts, nothing to distract you from the seriousness of the mission. And he thinks of Dhaka and how well things had done there, until they didn’t. That squalid hotel room with its dirty walls and cold water and view of the crowded and chaotic street. As desolate and dreary as it had been, for five days it seemed like a paradise. The outside world -and the job at hand- ceasing to exist the moment they locked themselves inside. It seems like forever ago. He’d been a different person then. So had she. Both fractured and damaged, bonding over their empty and meaningless lives.

He’s unsure if his exhaustion is mental or physical. Or if it’s perhaps a mix of both. But the five hours of restless and pain filled sleep he’d managed during the flight has done little to ease the head to toe weariness. Feeling as if his body is running on autopilot as he completes even the simplest of tasks; locking the door, toeing off his boots, placing his own stash of weapons and ammo and other tactical gear in the closet and securing them with a heavy chain and padlock. He feels  numb. Empty. As if the emotional well has been bled dry and there’s just nothing left to give. The Tyler that existed before he stepped onto the plant almost gone; replaced by a darker, more savage and vengeful version. His finger longing for a trigger to pull; that long simmering rage finally reaching its boiling point. It's all he DOES feel now; the desperate seeking of revenge and carrying it out through whatever means necessary.  Pushed to a near breaking point and determined into something useful; the feel of blood on his hands and the terrified, haunted look on another’s face as he stands over them and watches them die.

It should bother him. Wanting to kill. Enjoying the thought of it and knowing he’ll get satisfaction out of doing it. He’s never felt that before; a want and a need to take a life. Before killing had always been a means to an end; a way of securing his own survival. Now it’s a longing. A way of proving two things. That he’s more capable of chaos and violence than Mahajan ever expected, and that even a reformed and changed man will go to any length to protect what’s his.  

It’s justified. The things he needs to do. And it will be easy. He won’t have a guilty conscience. He’ll experience no shame. No regret. No remorse. He’ll feel nothing but relief and satisfaction. And IF he manages to survive, he’ll go on with his life; not once thinking back to things he’d been forced to do in Mumbai.

He checks the time on his phone before tossing it onto the nightstand between the beds. With the four and a half hour time difference between India and Australia, it’s peak insanity time for getting the kids ready and out the door in time for the school bus.  And just like that the feeling of emptiness...and nothingness...briefly lifts; a sudden tightening in his chest and throat and the bitter sting of tears. Actually missing -despite often grumbling about it- that morning routine; the race to get lunch pail paced and stuffed into backpacks, the madness that ensures when three kids all attempt to find missing shoes in the disaster that is the hall closet, often finishing Millie’s hair while standing in the driveway while the boys sit on the curb and watch YouTube videos on his phone. Those moments that most people would take for granted yet he always feels so lucky to even be experiencing. Almost seven years ago he’d been on the brink of death; only to be snatched back and given a second chance. To do something good with his life; one again be a husband and a father but this time get it right.  Experience the ‘boring’ and the ‘mundane’ instead of nothing but danger and self sacrifice. Instead of taking jobs and checking into cheap, shitty hotels, spending his night on the couch with his wife; suffering through her love of reality television while they eat ice cream straight out of the carton.

THAT was supposed to be his life. It’s what they had planned on when they decided to uproot the kids and move back to Australia. Be just another ordinary family; just a mom and ad raising five kids and enjoying their own slice of paradise after years of stress and worry and fear brought on by the job. And he thought he’d be happy with that LIKE that. But the past always finds a way to sneak up on you; reminds you why you’d ever got into it in the first place and convinces you that you aren’t complete without it. The adrenaline, the fast pace, the unpredictability. He’d somehow let himself fall prey to all of that. Once again going back on every goddamn promised he’d made; ruining every good intention he’d started out with.

If one thing has accompanied him to Mumbai, it’s the guilt. It’s deep and it’s painful and it makes him feel physically ill. That he would ever willingly get back into the game when he has so much to lose. The job is draining. Soul crushing. An unfair existence to spouses and children.  Yet he’d brought them into it. He’d gotten close enough to someone to trust them -with his life- and had fallen in love with them and had desperately hung on to her when everything should have been telling him to push her away.  And then he’d brought kids into it. Innocent little beings that are totally dependent on him for their survival and who would be the ones to suffer if anything happens to happen.

It WAS selfish; his reasonings behind not forcing her out of his life and back to Colorado. IT was the first time since Austin...since he’d made the terrible decision he had...that he felt alive again. That he actually allowed himself to feel. Finding someone that was equally as broken and damaged; connecting with them through their experiences with the job and their tortured pasts and horrendous life choices. He hadn’t wanted to lose that. He hadn’t wanted to lose HER. Even though it should have been painfully clear that her life would have turned out so much better without him in it.

He forces those thoughts out of his mind. Concentrating instead on the pain inhabiting his body and the need for a hot shower. Maybe even something to eat. It’s been close to twenty hours since he last ate, and he can feel the pang of hunger that accompanies the guilt and regret and gnaws at his stomach.  And he strips off his clothes as he heads for the bathroom. Letting them fall where they may, planning to gather them later; wincing at the agony that accompanies even the simple task of removing his shirt.

Like the sleeping quarters, the bathroom is spacious; clean and modern with its subway tiles and infinity tub and a glass enclosed shower. And the water is hot...almost punishing...when he stands underneath it; pressure pounding and stinging. A form of self flagellation; punishing himself for both the selfish choice he’d made almost seven years ago and for feeling that way in the first place. Eyes closed, chin dropped to his chest and his palms flat against the tiles. Losing the battle against the threatening tears; allowing them to trickle freely down his cheeks and the sides of his nose, the droplets mixing with the soapy water that gathers at his first before swirling down the drain. It’s the first and only time he’ll let this happen; the open expression of emotion, the loss of control.  It can’t happen again. Not on this job. He can’t allow it to. Not when there’s so much to lose.

His body is still damp damp and a towel is wrapped tightly around his waist when the confusion first hits. Distinctly remembering where he’d dropped each item of clothing on his journey to the bathroom; shirt having been the last item abandoned, left just on the threshold.  Yet it’s no longer there. The door is cracked open to allow some of the steam to escape, and he can hear the sound of the tv -a laugh track for some shitty sitcom- drifting through the suite.  He knows for a fact that he didn’t turn it on. And that he’d shut the bathroom door long before stepping into the shower. It isn’t a threat; no one is going to break into his room and gather up his dirty clothes and watch some television before attempting to kill him. Yet he still moves cautiously towards the door; years of being in a job where you have to expect the unexpected.  Bare feet quiet against the tiles and then the dark, plush carpet. A scowl spreading across his face when he rounds the corner of the wall that separates the sleeping area from the bathroom and finds Koen sprawled out in the middle of the spare bed; clad in just a pair of boxers, hands behind his head as he watches tv.

“Just what in the fuck are you doing?” Tyler asks.

Koen nods towards the television as a form of response.

“Why are you doing it here and not in your own room?”

“Figured you wouldn’t mind having a roomie.”

“Actually, I do mind. So…”

“I picked up after your lazy ass. Were you born in a barn? Or are you just too used to someone picking up after you?”

“Why are you here? And how the hell did you get in here?”

“Front desk gave me the spare key card. Everyone is bunkin’ together; I thought why not the two of us?”

“Have you ever thought I like being alone?”

“You spent way too many years being alone and miserable,” Koen reasons. “Now I know I ain’t as pretty as who you’re used to sharing a room with, but…” he looks up at Tyler limps past him. “...well holy shit…” he drawls, and issues a low whistle. “...I think I’m questioning my sexuality.”

Tyler doesn’t respond; dropping down onto the edge of the bed closest to the window and digging through the old army rucksack for a pair of sweats.

“I could tell you had a pretty good rig under all those clothes, but I didn’t think you looked like THAT. Now I see why she doesn’t leave you. Or is the real reason she doesn’t under the towel?”

Tyler smirks, then shoves his legs into the sweats, towel still around his waist when he stands and pulls them on the rest of the way.

“Don’t be shy on my account. Be proud of what the good Lord gave you. Must be something extra special if your ugly mug manages to keep such a good woman around. Ain’t you ever worried about breaking a tiny little thing like her in half?”

“Fuck off,” Tyler grumbles, then yanks the damp towel from around his waist and tosses it at his friend.

“Humble, are we? I already know what it looks like, remember? How many times did we have to piss standing next to each other when we were in Kandahar?   I’d be lying if I said I wasn't a bit jealous. Still don’t understand how you don’t hurt her, though.”

“I’m not discussing my sex life with you.”

“Never shied away from it before. Used to tell Rata and I all about your lady ‘friends’ stashed all over the world.”

“Yeah? Well I’m not that guy anymore, am I. And this isn’t just some piece of ass. This is my wife. So if you don’t mind…”

“Easy, tiger, easy. I know how defensive you get when it comes to her. And I don’t blame you; I don’t hold the overprotectiveness thing against you. I mean she’s cute, she’s tiny, you’ve almost lost her a couple times already…”

“Thanks for reminding me for that,” Tyler snarls, snagging his phone off the nightstand. “As if I haven’t been thinking about that every second of every fucking day since this Mahajan shit started.”

“...but she��s a grown woman with children and she knows how to take care of herself.” Koen finishes. “Ever think of easing up on her a bit?”

“You ever think of fucking off?”

“All I'm saying is that you don’t need to worry about her so much. She’s more than capable of handling things; taking care of herself and those littles.”

“Not against someone like Mahajan she’s not. And why are you even here? I don’t need company.”

“Hell you don’t. You gonna call home? She’s probably worried about you.”

“Get off my ass and go back to your own room.”

Koen ignores him. “You know this place has twenty four hour room service? We’re a far cry from eating army rations, ain’t we? I took the liberty of ordering both of us a little something. They didn’t have vegemite for your steak,though. What kind of savage bastard does that to a steak?”

“The kind of savage bastard that might kill in your sleep if you don’t fuck off and leave him alone.”

“Nope. Can’t do it. You’re stuck with me. No getting rid of me. Unless you DO kill me.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

“Call home. I know you’re missing her. It’s  okay to admit that; that you need to hear her voice. You’re a lucky bastard that you have a voice to call and help ground you. Don’t take shit like that for granted. Treat her right. ‘Cause there’s probably a lot of guys willing to take your place on her dance card.”

“How about you leave giving relationship advice to someone who is actually in a relationship?” Tyler retorts.

Koen smirks, then gives him the finger before he slides open the balcony door and steps outside.

****

“Job Tyler” is quick to assess his surroundings; considering what could go wrong and how he’d carry it off if he was the one targeting someone. If Mahajan’s people have been tipped off that he’s in Mumbai and they’re either keeping an eye on him or have been sent to take him out, the only way they could achieve it is from the apartment building to the right. It’s nothing but one story single family homes and empty lots in the other directions, and with  his room being on the twelfth floor, there is no possible way even the best of snipers could manage a decent shot from that angle and distance. So instead of standing at the railing and possibly giving someone a chance at him, he stays behind the cement partition that separates his balcony from the one belonging to the room next door.

What a fucking way to live.

It’s nine in the morning in Australia; the kids will have already arrived at school leaving her with just Declan and Addie. It’s easier this way; not calling when the three oldest are around. It will only make things harder on them. And him.

She answers on the third thing; both dogs barking in the background, along with the faint sound of waves.

“Hey,” Esme greets, and her surprisingly cheerful voice brings a smile to his face. “I was wondering if you’d fallen asleep on me,”

“I wanted to wait until the kids were at school. Didn’t want to make things harder on them. They’re okay?”

“Better than they usually are when you leave. Millie and TJ are all about going on a trip and seeing where Ovi came from. Tanner…well you know Tanner...he’s so intuitive and so sensitive and he’s become so close to you since New Zealand. He’s having a hard time. But I knew he would. He’s so much like you. More than anyone...even you...realizes. He feels so deeply and so powerfully.”

“He’ll be alright.” Tyler assures her. “He’s got a pretty amazing mom loving on him.”

“I don't know how amazing she is. She puts herself at mediocre.”

“Well tell her she’s delusional and she’s a fucking rock star and her husband worships the ground she walks on.”

“Her husband sounds like a very smart man.”

He grins. “He has his moments. You okay? What’re you doing?”

“Declan and I are down at the water with Saju and Mac. Kyle’s in the house with Addie. I’m okay, I guess. I’ve been better. I feel...I don’t know...like I’m in some kind of daze or a fog. Like I’m just going through the motions. Know what I mean?”

“Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. But are you? Okay?”

“Not really,” she admits. “It’s real now. Not something we just talk about or plan. It’s so real and I’m worried and I’m scared and I’m trying so hard not to be. And I miss you. Already.”

“I miss you, too. So much.”

“You usually wait a couple days before admitting it,” Esme teases, and he can’t help but smile.

“Well I’ve gotten used to being around you all the time. Six months of just being about you and my kids. Hits a little deeper now. A little harder. Being away from home.”

“I’d gotten used to you being around all the time, too. I know sometimes I bitched about it, but I really DID like it; having you here THAT much. And I like my brother, don’t get me wrong, and he’s a huge help, but he’s not you. It was weird waking up and you not being there. I’ve been spoiled, I guess. I took it...you…for granted. I hate myself for that.”

“Don’t, baby. Don’t ever feel like that. We’ve both done it. Not just you.”

“I did wake up to four little ones in the bed, though. I don’t know how they take up so much damn room. And Declan is freaking tall and so heavy!”

“Kid’s a tank. Gonna be six seven and weight three pounds and be solid as fuck.”

“Even with the red hair, he looks more like you every day. You have some seriously strong genes, Tyler Rake. Are you okay?”

“I’m okay.”

“Are you really okay? Or…?”

“I’m okay now,” he says. “Now that I’m talking to you.  I needed to hear your voice.”

“And you say you’re not sappy,” Esme chides. “There’s a lot of people here. That Anil has sent. It’s making me even MORE nervous. And they’re not subtle. They're armed. Heavily. And they’re not making an attempt to hide it.”

“How many?”

“A dozen so far. There’s two of them watching Declan and I right now. We DON’T need this. This isn’t helping.”

“Better to be safe than sorry,” Tyler reasons.

“Our kids aren’t stupid. They notice everything. And they’re going to notice them and they’re going to start asking questions and they’re going to get scared. Can’t you get them to scale it back? Just a little? I don’t want the kids stressed out. I’m stressed out enough for all of us.”

“I’ll talk to Anil,” he says. “See if he’ll tone things down.”

“The kids do not need to know what’s going on. You know what Millie gets like when she thinks too much about you going after bad guys. She gets anxious and panics and then we’ll have a six year old that will start sucking her thumb and wetting the bed again.”

“I’ll talk to him. You’re right; there’s no need for all of that.”

“Do you think something’s happened?” she asks. “That maybe the threats have gotten worse? Or maybe Mahajan’s people are on the move?”

“What I think is that you need to NOT think so much. I’ll take care of it. And you guys are leaving tomorrow, so…”

“I wish you could be there,” she sighs. “When we arrive.”

“So do I, baby. Nothing I wouldn’t give to be there. But…”

“I know. I know it’s not safe. It’s just me being selfish and wanting to see you. It must be really late. Or really early.”

“Almost five.”

“You should rest. You sound tired.”

“I am,” Tyler admits. “I’m going to have something to eat and then try and sleep. There’s nothing to do until early afternoon. Just a team meeting to go over shit. I’ll call later. After dinner, your time. So I can talk to the kids.”

“Okay. Take care of yourself, please.  You NEED to.”

“I know. I’ll talk to you later. Give Declan and the baby a hug and a kiss from me. Tell them I love them.”

“I will. We love you. Your little peanut misses you most of all, I think. She wouldn’t settle for her feed this morning until I wrapped her in one of your t-shirts from the dirty laundry basket.”

Tears prick his eyes, but he manages to hold them back. “Why would you do that to my little peanut?” he teases. “Traumatize her like that? That thing probably stinks.”

“It smells like you. And that’s the best smell in the world. I miss you. So much. And I can’t wait to see you. I hope it’s sooner rather than later."

“I hope so, too. I miss you. I love you.”

“I love you too, Tyler. Take that with you, okay? Wherever you go, whatever you get mixed up in.”

“I will,” he promises. “Talk later.”

“Be safe. Please. Be smart. You’ve got this. I know you do. You’re strong and you’re tough and nothing Mahajan throws at you is too much.”

“You’re good for my ego, you know that?”

“I’m in your corner. No matter what. We’ll talk soon,”

“We will,” he confirms, then waits for her to disconnect the call before hanging up himself.

****

“Well?” Koen asks when he steps back into the room. “Everything good on the home front’?”

“Best it can be, I guess.”

“Felt good, didn't it? Being able to talk to her. Hearing her voice like that?”

Tyler smirks, dropping his cell onto the bedside table.  “When the fuck did you get so sappy?”

“There was a time where I did love all my ex wives, you know. When I liked hearing their voices. Now all I feel is a cold chill if I hear even the slightest peep from those three hens. Nice seeing you this way. All head over heels, a fool in love for someone. Considering I know what you were like when you were with Sarah. Back when you THOUGHT you were in love.”

“Do we have to talk about her? Nothing good ever comes from talking about her.” He stretches out in the middle of the bed, pillows behind his back as he leans against the headboard. “When is the food showing up? I’m fucking starvin’.”

“Soon. And all I’m saying is that there’s a huge difference between the guy you were with Sarah and the guy you are with Esme. Back then, you thought you were in love. Now you really are. It’s written all over your damn face. Every time you look at her, it’s right there. How you feel. And you can’t tell me you don’t see the difference. FEEL the difference. Between the two.”

“Of course I do. It’s night and day.”

“You two are still so loved up on each other. I know I complain that it’s nauseating and annoying, but it’s actually really nice. Seeing you like that. Loving someone; them loving you. You deserved it. Finding that. Finding HER. It’s changed you. SHE’S changed you.”

“For good or…?”

“Of course for good, don’t be a dumb ass. She’s the best damn thing that’s ever happened to you.  Her and those kids. She made you a daddy again. You ask me, she deserves you worshipping the ground she walks on. And you’re a good daddy. A damn good one.”

“I’m just doing whatever I can do to make up for the shitty I mess I made the first time around.”

Koen frowns. “Don’t do that, mate. Don’t compare those kids to what you lost. They’re not a replacement for Austin. Don’t talk like they are. And don’t treat them like they are. They deserve better than that. You did a crappy thing; we all do crappy things. But that’s a long time ago and you’re a different man now and them kids aren’t holding the past against you. You’re doing that all on your own. You have this uncanny ability to fuck your life up without even trying. Those kids don’t care who you were back then. Just who you are now.”

Tyler sighs. “You talk a lot of shit, you know that?”

“I’m talking the truth.  You just hate hearing it for some reason. You hate when other peoples’ narratives don’t match your own. When they don’t see you as the shitty human you see yourself as. Knock that shit off. You’re better than you think.”

“Maybe,” Tyler agrees. “Maybe I am. But sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing. If I should have forced her to leave; when I woke up after Dhaka. If I should have found a way to get her to take off.”

Koen scowls. “You’re taking shit and you know it.”

“I was selfish. I wanted her to stay. I liked the way she made me feel. Not just the sex part of things. I mean everything. I liked having her around. I liked hearing her voice and seeing her smile. I liked how she looked at me. She didn’t look at me with pity or disgust. She looked at me like I was worth something. Like I wasn’t just a big fucking mess.”

“She saw the potential.” Koen reasons. “We all saw it. Just took her to get out of you.”

“But I kept her there for me. I didn’t think about what it would do to her; being mixed up with someone like me. And I should have. I should realized I’d only make her life a big fucking mess.”

“If she wanted to leave, she would have. You didn’t force her to stay.”

“I didn’t make her leave, either. And I should have. Especially after she found out about the baby.”

Koen’s eyes narrow. “What the fuck you going on about?”

“She would have been better going back to the States and having the baby on her own and  never bothering with me again.”

“That’s horseshit and you know it! You really think you could have lived like that? Knowing you had a kid out there? Yet never knowing if it was a boy or a girl or even their name or what they looked like? You wouldn’t have been able to live like that; knowing you had blood out there So quit talking crazy. Look at that little girl. Think about her. How much she loves her daddy.”

“I’m a selfish fuck,” Tyler insists. “For getting married. Having kids. Dragging them all into this.”

“You didn’t drag anyone into anything,” Koen argues.  “Esme stayed. She chose to be with you. And no matter what you could have said or done to push her away, it wouldn’t have worked. Her mind was made up. She wanted to be with you. For some fucking reason,”

“She deserves better than this. So do those kids.”

“Those kids wouldn’t even exist without you! They’re just as much yours as they are hers. You know what they deserve? They deserve to be on this earth.  They have a mom and a dad that love them. That take damn good care of them. You know what’s selfish?  You thinking FOR them. You’re their daddy. And you sit here talking about them like they’re mistakes?”

“I never said that.”

“You might as fucking well! You deserve a normal life. A wife and kids. People that love you no matter how big of a mess you think you are! And you know what? Fuck you for questioning that. Questioning their existence!”

“I never…”

“You’re the luckiest fucker I know,” Koen continues his rant. “I’ve seen you at your lowest. I’ve seen you in the gutter, practically. And this beautiful, selfless woman comes along and gives everything of herself to you. Gave up her old life to have a new one with you. And that’s how you think of her? Just to hell with the last seven years? To hell with five kids? All you think is ‘I should have pushed her away’? That’s what she gets after everything she’s done for you? Fuck you, mate. Guys would kill for what you have. Stop looking at what’s wrong and look at what’s right! You have a great life. That you deserve. So get your head out of your ass and appreciate it before someone comes along and does it for you. Yeah, you're a selfish prick, alright. Not even thinking about what pushing her away would have done to her and the baby she had in her belly. How none of those kids would even exist. THAT makes you a selfish prick.”

Silence descends on the room; Koen’s harsh words and accusations hanging heavily in the air. He’s right, of course. Even if Tyler hates to admit it, even to himself. Had he pushed her away, he would have spent the rest of his life drinking himself stupid and dwelling on what could have been and thoughts of what his kid turned out to be; what they looked like or what their name was. Did Esme give them his last name or did she just go with her? Was she with anyone? Did she ever think about him and those five days in Dhaka or did she hate him enough to never think of it...or him...again?

How would her life have turned out? Who would she have  ended  up with? Would she have been happy? Or would part of her always be back in Australia? His child serving as a bond that would always keep them connected. Millie would exist,but none of the others would. No TJ with his fiery temper but a propensity to love with his entire heart and soul. No Tanner with his dad’s old haircut and his huge emotions and his sensitive, old soul. No Declan with his red hair and his strong, solid build, so affectionate and loving. No Addie; impossibly tiny with a headful of dark hair and those enormous dark eyes. And that’s a reality he’d never want to face; a life without any of his kids.

“You love her, yeah?” Koen speaks up.

“Of course I do. With everything I am. Everything I have. What..?”

“You love her and that’s enough for her. And she loves you. Or she wouldn’t have stuck around after Dhaka or after any of the shitty times. She’s given herself willingly to you. Given you five kids and a damn good life. Don’t ever talk about her or those kids like that again, or  I WILL beat you ass. Understand me?”

Tyler nods.

“No that we’ve got all that worked out,” Koen sighs. “Food’s gonna be here soon. You gonna eat?”

“I could definitely eat.”

“Gotta take care of yourself. You’re no good to anyone if you don’t. What do you wanna watch?” He gestures towards the tv with the remote. “Probably got some good adult channels on here.”

Tyler smirks. “I am not watching pron with you in the room.”

“I ain’t gonna like while you’re jerking off if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“You’ve got issues, mate. Why are you so obsessed with my dick?”

“Gotta be a reason she sticks around, I figure. I’m just trying to piece together what it is. Something’s keeping her happy. Unless…” Koen’s eyes narrow. “...you’re a giver and not a taker, aren’t ya. You’re going above and beyond down yonder to get your woman happy.”

“I already told you; I’m not talking about my sex life with you.”

“That’s it, isn’t it. You’re spoiling her THAT way.”

“My wife has no complaints. I’ll leave it at that.”

“Atta boy! You’ve your priorities straight! You must be something right; she sticks around.”

“Have you ever thought maybe she just loves me? That’s all it is?”

“No doubt in my mind she does. But I’m proud of you; doing what it takes to make her happy. She reciprocating or..”

“Mate, we are not having this conversation.”

“Just give me a sign that she is. Some kind of hint. Give me a thumbs up if she’s doing her bit, too.”

Tyler smirks, then gives two thumbs up.

“You fucking bastard!” Koen snarls. “I don’t know whether to be jealous or you or hate you right now. Maybe a bit of both. No wonder you always got that goofy grin on your face whenever you’re around her. You’re getting yourself some. On a regular basis.”

“Probably get more in one week than you get in six months.”

“Now THAT’S harsh.”

Another silence descends on the room. This time far more comfortable. And Tyler lays his head back against the pillow behind him and closes his eyes. He feels better now. Slightly, at least. Koen’s tough love and hearing his wife’s voice and picturing her down at the water-with the sun capturing the natural red highlights in her dark tresses and that little burn she always gets on her nose and under her eyes- doing wonders to alleviate the guilt and regret. Loosening some of that tightness around his heart.

“You’ve got a good thing,” Koen says. “A good life. Don’t fuck it up.”

“I won’t,” Tyler vows.

But the confidence is lacking. It isn’t himself he doesn’t trust. He has the skills and the strength to complete the tasks at hand; his instincts and abilities strong. HE isn’t the problem. It’s everything...everyone...else around him. There’s no control over the situation . He’s at the mercy of his environment; unfamiliar surroundings working as a weakness. His kryptonite.

Mahajan holds all the cards. And it’s time to take them away.

[corinthbayrpg]

NAME. Hippolyta Migonitis AGE & BIRTH DATE. Appears 25, released from the veil February 25th, 1973 GENDER & PRONOUNS. Female & She/Her SPECIES. Sphinx OCCUPATION. Owner of Inkubus FACE CLAIM. Sydney Sweeney

BIOGRAPHY

( tw: death ) Named after the Amazonian queen, Hippolyta had always felt she was destined for greatness. Growing up in Sparta in the 200′s BC, she had never wanted the life that was thrust upon her. It had not been a hard life, but it had been one that certainly was not what she had expected. Nevertheless, she was slowly, but surely, pushed into the life of a priestess. Her family was a political one to say the least. They owed the temple and she was left to pick up the pieces by becoming what she did not want to be.. When Hippolyta was born, her brother had already been training with their father to be a soldier. Her brother, Deimos, was meant to be strong and she felt that she could have been the same way if she tried. However, she did not. Being a priestess within the Temple of Aphrodite was something she cherished. The goddess of Aphrodite should have been worshiped and she prayed to the goddess often to get a life better than the one she was given. A life where she could be a great warrior like the late Leonidas. Or like her namesake, Hippolyta.

Every time her dear brother came home after becoming a soldier, she would ask him to teach her what they taught him. And her brother had been all too fine with teaching her how to defend herself. It always left her disappointed when he would leave again, but it only meant that he was learning more that he could teach her. Meanwhile, she was left to keep an eye on his children and his spouse. It was all a boring life, but dedicating her life to Aphrodite wasn’t exactly hard to do. She would stare at the statue of the goddess with full armor on for ages hoping and praying that she could reach that level of greatness as well. She knew she would never be a goddess, but she wanted to be immortalized. Like the great Leonidas and Hippolyta. What good would she be to her family if she wasn’t able to leave her mark on history like her brother was doing? Hippolyta would practice day and night with a makeshift spear she had made out of a tree branch. It was nothing like what she would deal with if she ever got the chance to become a soldier, but it was good enough for her to pretend.

Hippolyta had been desperate to do more than what was laid out for a priestess. Other Spartan women had been able to do sports and the like, but they had never been like the men. No, they would never be allowed to train for war. That was left to the husbands they would soon marry. As a priestess, she had slightly more time before she would marry off, but she would do it eventually. Hippolyta would soon marry a man she barely loved. Anaxagoras was his name and he was exactly the kind of man she had never felt she should be with. As his name suggested, he thought himself a lord. He thought himself better than Hippolyta in every way. And maybe he had been given the life she had wanted to lead. It was hard for her to watch her husband go off into war. Not because she was scared of him dying. No, it was because she wanted to be in his place. She was jealous of everything he could have that she could not. And so she went back to praying to Aphrodite again. She had never stopped, but she prayed and prayed and eventually it worked.

Ares had come to her in the night at the Temple of Aphrodite. Loyalty was everything and Hippolyta had been loyal to both the god and goddess throughout her entire life. The Amazonian queen was known to be the daughter of Ares and Aphrodite was her patron. She had felt linked to the higher beings in a way she felt nobody else would understand. When Ares had come to her, she had been shocked. It had seemed like her prayers would be answered. Sphinx. That was what he had offered her. She had been loyal to Aphrodite and him both and he would offer her an immortal life protecting the name of the gods like she had done even without all he had offered her. It was quick of her to say yes. It was not exactly what she had expected when she wanted her name immortalized, but it was more than enough. Hippolyta could be everything she wanted and more, all while guarding the great Aphrodite for an eternity. Paradise didn’t seem like enough of a word to use to describe the life she would soon be able to live. Leaving her family had been something she was worried about, but this was her chance. Maybe she would be able to have her brother with her. He had been loyal to Ares as well, loyal to Aphrodite. Surely, he could become one as well.

Little did she know, he indeed had. After burying his wife and child, he had come to the same Temple of Aphrodite and was also met with Ares. As long as she had somebody with her for the rest of her immortal life, she was sure to get through it. No matter how much strength she thought she had, she knew she could not do it without her brother. Being immortalized as a being that protected the gods was higher than anything she could have imagined. A winged beast with the ability to tell others when they were wrong seemed like a dream come true. A riddle for the chance to so much as glance at the great Aphrodite seemed like a fair enough trade to Hippolyta. Why would she ever want anything else other than that? Life seemed to pass her by once she had become a sphinx. Where others were going about their daily lives struggling just to make it, she had been the judge, jury and executioner when it came to protecting the gods. It was her god-given right by Ares to protect the ones that had protected her and her brother for so many years. She had been young upon becoming one and she would never take that for granted. Being a young woman when she had become a sphinx, only being twenty-five, meant she had so much to look forward to.

She had started her life outside of the veil. Hera had taken away their ability to turn into winged beasts before Hippolyta could truly experience it. But the goddess was a higher being than she. She would follow any rule or path the gods had set out for her. There was so much more for her to do thanks to Ares. Aphrodite was who she praised, but Ares was who she would give her life for. And she would keep giving her life quite a few times during her extensive life. Every one hundred years she spent outside of the veil, she would have to go back in. Unfortunately, for her and her brother, they were not the most likable people in the world. Throughout her many years of being a sphinx, she has run into her fair share of deaths. Chaos was something she thrived on. Maybe it had something to do with what she was being a gift from Ares, but she didn’t care. The life she had had grew to be more interesting than she had ever even assumed it would be.

Recently, she had been behind the veil due to being outside of it for quite some time. The incident in 1858 had been something she had been happy to see. Given that Hera had taken away her opportunity to be in the outside world, she was excited to breathe some fresh air. She hadn’t stayed outside of the veil for long though. In the year of 1923, she had gotten into a well deserved argument with a woman that she felt disrespected her and had never expected to get murdered a few nights later. Hippolyta had chosen to stay behind the veil after that for fifty years before she let herself roam about the human world again. She had landed in Corinth Bay simply waiting for her brother to come meet here there after he was done resting from behind the veil. Being in this world since 1973, she has seen a lot of changes, but none so extravagant as the time she’s living in now. Sure, Sparta had quite a lot to keep her on her toes, but all of the supernatural beings in Corinth Bay would certainly be a treat. She had disappeared for a bit to keep up appearances, but she made her way back as soon as she saw her brother Deimos was back in December of 2019.

The current happenings in Corinth Bay are intriguing to her, but she isn’t going to let that stop her from doing the job she was set to do. Protecting the name of the gods, specifically Ares and Aphrodite, was what she always would aim to do. And, if anyone so much as attempts to sway her otherwise, she’s always got a curse waiting on the tip of her tongue.

PERSONALITY

+ focused, brave, loyal - abrasive, insecure, vindictive

PLAYED BY KENYA. PST. She/Her.

[dailyaudiobible]

05/27/2019 DAB Transcript

2 Samuel 12:1-31, John 16:1-33, Psalms 119:65-80, Proverbs 16:4-5

Today is the 27th day of May. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I am Brian and it is wonderful to be here with you as we dive into the work week and move our way toward the end of this month. We’re reading from the New International Version this week and working our way through second Samuel. So, we’ll pick up with the story that’s unfolding before us, a sordid story. David has become king, he had taken another man's wife, who happened to be a soldier in his military. And as we'll find out, one of David's elite warriors. When this warrior, his name was Uriah, Uriah the Hittite, when David summoned him back to Jerusalem from battle and told him to go home to his wife he wouldn't, like, he wouldn't. And that was David's plan. He was gonna cover the whole thing up. So, David sent him back into battle and essentially…essentially murdered him by having him put on the front lines and then having people withdraw so that he was killed. This is the kind of things that Saul tried to do to David. So, it's quite a turn in the story and we’ll pick it up. Second Samuel chapter 12.

Commentary:

Okay. So, no doubt about it, the story happening in second Samuel in David's life is…well…its sordid just like we said at the beginning. All of our time as we’re traveling along with David through first Samuel watching him be on the run from assassination plot after assassination plot, after plot, after plot, after plot, to have him killed, he’s become stealthy, he's become a warrior, he’s had to grow up fast, he’s had to become a national hero or a national figure without any training. So, he has held on to God for dear life and some of his heart is poured out in the Psalms as he runs from King Saul, then he becomes King and he’s honorable through that process and everybody rallies to him and he's the king and then this happens, right? This is a very large turn in the story of King David. Things are not going to go well in his family after this. It's almost like this is the kind of story that nobody really wants to talk about like if you were back in this time. And yet, his family knows what happened and we’re gonna see that it appears they've lost respect and it’s certain that after the prophet Nathan came and told the story to David and David���s all angry and wanting to kill this person that he’s realized, that he realizes that the story is about him. And, so, we see him repent and things will never be the same again. And it just becomes a mirror of our own lives in so many ways because it is in the times of difficulty and hardship and wilderness of our lives that we are clinging to God for dear life, especially when we feel like there's nothing else to cling to. And we find, as we look back over those times, that they were rich. They taught us how to trust. They taught us how to navigate. And yet, then when things get easy again, like when we get back in control again then we find ourselves wandering into things that have no possible good outcome and can really mess things up going down the line into the future. And, so we find in the story of King David, once again the Bible becomes a mirror into our own lives.

And then as we move into John's Gospel we’re continuing to listen to Jesus speak His final words to His friends in the last recorded conversation that we find in the Gospels before Jesus was arrested. And, so, Jesus says, “I’ve told you these things so that you won't lose faith, right, so you won't abandon your faith, so you won't fall away because you’re gonna be thrown out of synagogues and a time will come when people who kill you will think they're doing God's work.” How true that proved to be. How true that remains. Throughout history followers of Jesus have been have been subjected to appalling persecution. Even in our own lifetimes we've seen this brutality continue but it's what happened to Jesus. Those who put Jesus to death, they thought they were doing the right thing. So, let’s be sure to take a moment to just consider the freedoms that we enjoy and that we take for granted every day because mixed in with the gratitude, we need to have the earnest plea for our persecuted brothers and sisters who, if they had the freedoms that we take for granted, it would be like the very kingdom of God itself for them. So, may we pray for the persecuted church today. I have spoken to a lot of people and a lot of places in the world and some of those places in the world aren't…you just can't take safety for granted, especially in religious…in terms of religious freedom. And so often they feel forgotten. And it's easy to forget them because we may find ourselves geographically or nationally or politically at odds with the nation that they live in. And, so, their trapped and feel as if no one cares. And Jesus went on to say, “when the spirit of truth comes, He will lead you into all truth”, which is something that we pray for on a continual basis because this is a promise given. And Jesus said that, “He's not going to speak on His own will. He’ll tell you what He's heard. He’ll tell you about the future. He’ll bring me glory by telling you whatever He receives from me. Of course, this is the Holy Spirit that we’re talking about. The spirit of God is within us and will lead us into all truth, but we have to ask ourselves, how much truth are we really after? Like, how much truth are we really seeking? Because often what we want is our cake and eat it too, right, to enjoy the light but keep shadows on the things that we that we don't want to face or that we don't want exposed. But, here’s the deal, hiding will not make us like Jesus. Even though we may battle this all our lives, we’re struggling to be true and walk in the light. This is what Jesus modeled for us. That's what Christ like looks like. That's what we’re supposed to be becoming. And then lastly, Jesus said, “I told you all this stuff so that you can have peace in me because here on earth you'll have many trials and sorrows but take heart, I have overcome the world.” So, even as we hear those words, even as we read them today, we can just look around and see that this is true. We indeed will face trials and indeed we experience sorrow in this world. And at times it's overwhelming. And at times is like a tsunami has washed us away. But Jesus is telling us that there is a peace that the world cannot give and the world cannot take because this peace can only be found intertwined in a relationship with God and that has been bestowed upon us. So, take heart. Take joy. Take peace. Jesus has overcome the world and through him so can we.

Prayer:

Father, we come into Your presence today acknowledging that a lot has happened in the Scriptures for us to consider. The story of David is certainly a complicated one, much like our lives. And we may have, at times, found ourselves doing things toward other people that had previously been done to us and we like, we know the story, like we know the pain that's causing, and we find ourselves doing the same thing, like David. So, we invite the Spirit of truth into that. And when we listen Jesus, to Your words, as You're coming to the end of Your conversation at the Last Supper and You are assuring Your friends that they won’t be able to take anything for granted. We have these freedoms that we take for granted that they did not have. And, so, any time that we face any kind of little obstacle we want to start screaming and shaking our fists at the sky when You prepared us for this in advance. So, come Holy Spirit and help us to understand and rightly interpret the circumstances of our lives and what the seasons of wilderness actually mean to us. And lastly Father, we pray for our brothers and sisters who feel and in many cases are forgotten in this world, trapped behind the borders, trapped behind cultures, struggling to survive and avoid the persecution that descends upon them regularly. When we think of them we confess a sense of helplessness because we don't know what to do. And yet, we’re reaching to You Father, we’re reaching toward our brothers and sisters in the Spirit that they might feel comfort today, that they might have a sense that they are not forgotten. Come Holy Spirit we ask in the name of Jesus. Amen.

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And that is it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi Daily Audio Bible family this is Becca coming in from Sydney Australia. It’s been a while since I’ve called in, probably maybe two years, but…and during that time much has happened but I just wanted to call in because I heard a caller, I’m a bit behind on the program but April 1st it played, a lady called Cia in the Pacific Northwest, I heard your message about…your in a situation where you’re married to a non-Christian and thought…I just want you to know that I really understand what you’re feeling with…with just the attraction that you’re feeling maybe towards this guy that you know what’s right in your head and I totally can understand that you’re trying to do the right thing by God __ for myself here but I just really understand what you’re going through and I just want you to know that I’m going to be praying for you and encouraged that you did call in. And if you could pray for me as well. I am sort of going through something kind of the similar. I’m not married but I think I am just struggling with knowing that these are the things I want in the quality in a man after God’s heart, that being attracted to non-Christian guys who just seem to allure me so much. So, if you could just pray for that for me but I just want to let you know that I am praying for you and I’m praying for all these women out there who __ people who are married and are battling sexual temptation or just…yeah…a sense of like feeling you want to be loved. But I just pray for women. So, if you could also pray for me, that…

Hello Daily Audio Bible family, this is Anita of Ohio. I just wanted to send out prayers for __ technicians that I’ve never used before. I had to __ randomly, you know, to see what was wrong with her. But she ended up letting me know that she had liver failure and she has to go through dialysis. So, __ everyone keeps her lifted up in prayers. I appreciate your prayers. I’m praying for everyone as always and thank you guys for this wonderful community. Brian, you and Jill are so amazing. I ask that you keep continuing to sow into this ministry. I would not be where I am in the __ if it wasn’t for you. I work on Sundays, so it’s impossible for me to make it to church. So, this is my church. Every day, all day, and it’s changed my life dramatically. I lost my mom and my dad with around a four-month time span. And I started listening to Daily Audio Bible when I lost my brother back in 2015. So, it’s been…it’s been a journey for me but very thankful for this community because it’s brought me strength. Alright, God bless you all. __ take care.

Good morning Daily Audio Bible, this is Lisa from San Jose, I called back in April about my husband and his cancer and it’s doing much better. Thank you all for your prayers. We still need to get a PET scan but he’s been on the cannabis oil, which in combination with a little bit of chemo, has been the Lord’s answer to our prayers. Also, I wanted to call and let you know that I go through very very heavy  depression as well and I was touched by Scotty from Tennessee this morning listening to your prayer for yourself and your sister and your mom. My heart goes out to you because yesterday I swear I was crying all day because of this depression, this cloud, this darkness that seems to pervade and prevail. And we just have to push through brother. We just have to keep hanging on knowing that Jesus is our source and He will be there for us no matter what. And He sometimes likes to test our faith. So, hang in there, keep strong, keep seeking His face and His word and you’ll get through and together we can make it. Brother, you are in my prayers and as well as your sister for her salvation. She hits rock-bottom, maybe she’ll look up and your mom too. Life is so tough. We were never promised a rose garden. So, keep going gang. God’s got our back. I love you all. Praise Jesus. Lisa signing off from San Jose.

Good morning Daily Audio Bible family, today is the 26th of May, and I’m just calling, I’m on my way to work so sorry for the noise in the background. I’m calling for my friend. Oh…by the way…my name is Janet, calling from the UK. I’m calling for prayer for my friend, Heather, who is a nurse. We’re both nurses. We just graduated. We just finished nursing school in December. And she had her first patient death and she was the last person the patient saw before he took his last breath and she is very tearful and thinking that she is not that special to be in that position. So, she doesn’t think that she should have been the last person that the patient saw before he died. And I just want to pray for her that she understands that just being a nurse she’s really special, she’s special in someone’s life, and she’s special to God because she’s also contemplating whether or not she’s special to God and I just want her to understand that she is special, that there’s no other person like her and that God has blessed her with the gift of being a nurse and that she understands just how special she is to everyone that she takes care of. Thank you, Daily Audio Bible family. Thank you so much for your prayer.

[tessatechaitea]

Team Titans #17

Team Titans is an anagram of Fuck Donald Trump.

The joke in the caption relies on regular readers knowing that I keep doing anagrams of the title except this time the anagram isn't an anagram at all! I know some people probably didn't even have to double check, especially the really observant ones who instinctively knew that "Team Titans" did not contain an "F". But the other point of that caption is to make readers who both enjoy Donald Trump and the stupid shit I write about comic books suddenly realize that they don't like what I write at all. In half a second, they'll realize how stupidly wrong they were about their opinions of this blog. In a half second after that, they'll admit that they've always thought I was a dumb asshole who has never written anything clever in his entire life. A few seconds after that, they'll probably be jerking off to another Hillary Clinton rant by Sean Hannity. We all have to face the consequences of our beliefs and actions. One of the consequences of supporting the modern GOP lampreys attached to the tits and ass fat of Donald Trump is that you don't get to enjoy myriad entertainments. Pretty much all you've got is Last Man Standing and reruns of Home Improvement. Of course, you could try to ignore what you've now learned because I probably won't mention it again for quite some time. But it's also possible I might pull at your victim status trigger again by the next paragraph! Speaking of triggers, the NRA can eat their own filthy asshole. Unless they like doing that! They seem like the kind of organization that would like doing that! And I don't mind kink-shaming people who love to eat their own filthy assholes because the Venn Diagram of people who can eat their own assholes and people who love to eat filthy assholes is nonexistent.

This whole nineties Teen Titans thing went off the rails a tiny bit when they introduced a rapist version of Nightwing with a nipple ring.

Is it weird that I have an unrepentant love for Lobo and a slightly repentant love for Deathstork but I feel like I'd be crossing a line having any kind of love for Deathwing? I get why people love Lobo because he's over the top and his space jeans craft a nice package in his nether area. Plus the chains! So penis stiffening! And Deathstork was cool enough to have gotten an underage girl he fucked killed without the entire comic book community feeling disgusted by him. I think his old age helped. Deathstork is like a beloved grandfather who tells such incredible stories from his youth that nobody minds that 23% of them are racist. But if somebody told me Deathwing was their favorite character, I'd be frightened. Although I guess they could mitigate that fright by explaining they like the Rebirth Deathwing and then I'd just be, "Oh, sorry. I didn't know you were gay. Cool!" That probably came across as me using gay as a synonym for lame but it was meant to express my feelings that Rebirth Deathwing should be a gay icon, if he isn't already. Like the Babadook. In that picture above, Deathwing is coming out of a clockmaker's closet (so maybe he's a gay icon too?), probably to rape the clockmaker (Oh yeah! He's totally rapey, so probably not a gay icon!). Now I'm wondering why Superman doesn't stop more rapes? Or why he doesn't commit himself to stopping all rapes? He could end rape forever with his powers! I guess he just doesn't have the commitment to end rape. You know how fast rape would have been stopped if Bruce Wayne's parents had been raped in that alley? Considering how many murders still happen in Gotham City even though Batman has dedicated his life to stopping injustice, I'm guessing it wouldn't have been fast at all. Batman is a huge failure. Meanwhile back at the Long Ranch, Nightrider (as opposed to Deathrider, his rapey twin), recovers from being shot by the neighbor. Granted, the neighbor also tracked down the wounded vampire to rescue him. He didn't realize he was shooting a living, feeling creature. He just thought he was killing a stupid bat! I hope no bats read this blog! They might think I'm being insensitive to bats! And, I mean, I am! But I don't want them to know that! They might start sending me memes of their creepy little faces saying things like, "Bats have rights too!" and "Bats cry more than most human males!" and "Today is the worst day of the rest of your terrible life, motherfucker!" That last one would make a good motivational poster for the lunchroom at most offices.

Wait. Is "vampire" a derogatory term?!

I just watched a Kids React video on YouTube about whether or not "hell" was a curse word. Sydney took the opportunity to say as many near curse words as she thought she could get away with. I'm pretty sure if I were young or hip or with it (which I obviously am not as noted by my usage of "hip" and "with it"), I would now use the word stan somehow. Why is there a Kids React for "How to Cure a Hangover"? What the fuck is wrong with the Fine Brothers?! Here are some more great ideas for your dumb Internet show: "Kids React to Joe Pesci's Death Scene in Goodfellas" "Kids React to Satanic Rituals" "Kids React to Seeing Their Parents Murdered" "Kids React to Goat Testicles" "Kids React to Their First Blow Job" I should stop listing these because I could do it all day and also I think some of them would actually work. The "How to Cure a Hangover" video isn't actually a Kids React; it's an advice episode featuring all ages of reactors. The first question they must give advice for is "How do I get someone to kiss me on New Year's Eve?" According to a lot of the answers, nobody seemed to give much of a shit about consent in 2016. Although my stan Sydney is all, "Get your parents to kiss you!" Oh my God she owns the world. The next question Sydney answers is "How do I touch a rainbow?" She says to get the biggest ladder in the world so she might be kind of dumb. I mean, a ladder doesn't have to be that big to touch a rainbow! Although she is just a kid so I'll let her slide on this answer. I suppose it's more important that she gives a cute answer than a correct one. For "How do I cure a hangover?", Sydney says, "Why are you asking me this question?" After which, I'm assuming, she walked off camera and kicked both Fine Brothers in the balls at the same time. Okay, back to Team Titans! The neighbor tries to apologize by explaining that he wouldn't have tried to murder the bat if he'd known it wasn't a disgusting bat. Terry Long, the worst character in a comic book full of terrible characters (and I'm including Deathwing here!), blames the victim and Terra's angst meter tops out. She goes into a blind Tumblr rage without any regard to the neighbor's apology, explaining how Nightrider was only acting on his true nature. The row disturbs Donna's baby which becomes the worst issue of the night.

"Whith"? I've never noticed Donna's weird accent before this issue! I also love how she thrusts her baby at the others to show that they've upset it.

While the majority of the team take Nightrider to STAR Labs for treatment (can't they just let him suck the baby a little bit?), Mirage and Terra stay behind to protect Terry and the baby. Well, Terra stays behind to protect them. Mirage still suffers from the trauma of being raped while none of the others seem to give a shit. She's decided to run away and have her baby somewhere else. Hopefully she won't have the baby in the town where Deathwing grew up because you know what that would mean, right?! Ugh, I can't even type it! Mirage was raped by her own time traveling son! Okay, it wasn't that hard to type after all.

Out in the yard, four elementals are approaching to kill Terra: an elemental of glaciers, an elemental of shit, an elemental of men's farts, and an elemental of lady's farts.

Over at STAR Labs, Doctor Velcro determines Nightrider's life can't be saved because he's already dead. He's a vampire! And Doctor Velcro knows because he's a not just a vampire specialist but a vampire himself! He's one of the Creature Commandos! His prescription to keep Nightrider alive is human blood. At this declaration, the rest of the Team Titans begin acting like Nightrider is a goner. So their first thought is that he's going to die if he doesn't drink human blood? Not one of them is all, "Drink from my veins, buddy! As much as you need! Well, maybe not too much! You know, just a taste! But there are like eight of us, so you can probably get your fill by sampling us all!" Fucking jerks.

The 90s had some pretty fucking nihilistic AIDS public service adverts.

As Terra protects New York as a Team Titan by defending herself against elementals that want to kill her, the rest of the Team Titans defend New York by battling a bunch of electric beings in thongs that want to kidnap Killowat. I laugh in your face, Councilwoman Alderman! Look at all the good these Titans are doing for the city! The energy beings easily kidnap Killowat because he only had the majority of the Team Titans and Battalion defending him. Terra, all alone, just barely manages not to die in her battle right before a newly human Prester Jon (back from the Terminus Agenda!) manages to save her.

This might be my favorite panel from 1994. In case you couldn't tell by his idiotic hands or his stupid baby, that's Terry Long under the clock.

The person who kidnapped Killowat turns out to be the clockmaker's old beau, the one that taught her to work on futuristic Titans' communicators. He was a member of the Team Titans named Lazarium but he seems to have been a spy working for Lord Chaos. The leader of the Team Titans (identity still unknown!) sent him and his team back in time to die. But he survived and now he owns a good chunk of the media world. His name might as well be Rupert Murdoch because he has a media empire that's trying to turn the world against heroes and he has his own sexual harassment problems in his organization, seeing as how Deathwing works for him. Team Titans #17 Rating: It took seventeen issues but I'm finally interested in this comic book! The Lazarium story arc has momentum and ties in to the overall history of the team, hopefully finally separating them from the Titans book for a bit. I know it still relies on garbage time travel theories but it also threatens to expose Killowat as a huge racist piece of shit! That should be exciting! It's also slightly heavy on implied rape which I didn't mean to add as one of the reasons I'm enjoying the book but just as a simple fact to say, "Look. This was a comic book from 1994! Rape was an important plot point to raise tension and pull on the emotional heartstrings of an audience that didn't quite understand how writers were just using rape as a lazy way of creating drama and emotional tenstion!" What I'm trying to say is: B+! Good work, everybody!

[studioahead]

Foundation Spotlight: Mikkel Svane

Mikkel Svane is an art collector, author, CEO, and founder of both Zendesk and the newly created Svane Family Foundation, which since 2019 has been supporting Bay Area artists. The foundation’s inaugural exhibition, Ark, which Studio Ahead is co-hosting launches next month and features 100 local artists who were given grants to create works mostly responding to the pandemic and what life might be like after. Each work will be auctioned off in September and all proceeds will go to ArtSpan. You can register here to receive the Ark exhibition and the auction preview starting September 1st.

All 100 works will be on display at SFAI Pier 2 at Fort Mason Center in San Francisco from September 16th-30th. There will be viewings by appointment only on Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays. Art is valued from $350-$50K.

We spoke with Svane about the ways art and business intersect, what drew the Copenhagen native to San Francisco, and how artists can become great businesspeople.

Studio AHEAD: Although we are obviously at different stages of our careers, we are both entrepreneurs and business owners who love art. I'm curious if your love of art at all influences your business philosophy—or vice versa, and how?

MS: I think a major lesson I’ve learned from spending time with art and artists, which I use in my approach to business, is that there is this element of interpretation and being able to live with different interpretations and ambiguity that is a strength. We don’t have all the answers but if we can agree on a strong core belief and allow others to build on that—that makes a company stronger. This is a major construct in art—an artist makes the work with a certain intention, but then it goes into the world and will be received in many different ways. It’s how we internalize the story that matters. American business philosophy is that you have to paint all the way to the edge of the canvas, so to speak, and leave nothing unaccounted for. Sometimes it’s fine to leave room for interpretation. If people can reflect themselves in your product and what you offer as a business, it makes them more capable, empowered, and your business pretty popular!

SA: Similarly—and your foundation is helping to make these connections—what can the two worlds of art and tech teach each other? Accurately or not, Silicon Valley is often seen as being at odds with the Bay Area's artistic heritage.

MS: Over the last 10 years, we’ve seen the gravity center of Silicon Valley move from the peninsula up to San Francisco. That has a lot to do with how user experience—how we use products—is much more important today than it was a decade ago. That user experience is much more inspired by artists and makers, from people who look for challenges, new perspectives, and new experiences. You need all of those elements to create. In that way, I see the development of new technologies being within a long tradition of the city as a place of incredible experimentation and innovation, where it is art, design, and the creative spaces in the community here that are the fuel, the inspiration, and the environment.

SA: Tell us about your first reactions to San Francisco, particularly what you noticed about its art scene. You speak a little about this in your book, Startupland, but I'm curious because we Americans associate Copenhagen, and Scandinavian in general, with world class design.

MS: A lot of Danish design comes out of constraints. Small market; few people; little daylight. It is from this place of constraint that you can have incredible creative breakthroughs. There’s this Danish film-making movement, Dogme 95, started by Lars von Trier and Thomas Vinterberg, that was entirely about making films from a set of rules that excluded most of modern movie making—mainly special effects and technology. And they made really interesting movies, moreso in my opinion than films with big over-the-top effects. Less is more.

The art scene in the Bay Area is small, somewhat isolated, and hardly celebrated or valued, despite its decades of helping to shape modern and contemporary art. It was SFMoMA that brought avant-garde art to the West Coast at a time when Picasso was considered controversial; you have many schools and movements that emerged here, especially in Realism, Conceptualism, Street Art, and photography. And SFAI has taught some of the most famous artists in the world: Kehinde Wiley, Catherine Opie, Kathryn Biglow, Annie Leibovitz, Paul McCarthy, Richard Diebenkorn, Ansel Adams, and on and on. This is where I believe we as a city and community of art lovers could make a big difference. Getting behind it. Learning about it. Supporting it. Take it seriously, but don’t smother it with formality—it needs to be free to do what it will do.

SA: We're really excited to see the Ark Exhibition in September, which we are co-hosting. When choosing artists for the exhibition was there criteria that they had to fit into? Is there an ethos or philosophy that is overarching?

MS: The artists were chosen to represent the range, diversity, and brilliance of Bay Area artists. It was important to have a variety of mediums represented; there is everything from performance, sound, and film to painting, drawing, and sculpture. We are also a new art foundation, formed in 2019, that’s taken the opportunity to start off with planning for racial and gender equity and inclusion. We’re working to not perpetuate the biases of institutions and the market, both in terms of the materials an artist is working with, the support they are given, as well as their individual identity and the communities they come from.

Taking this approach, we wanted the exhibition to be a cohesive, curated show—many of the artists riff on the concept of the Ark, or what to take from this crisis into the future—while having something for everyone. For those not in the practice of buying art, there can be a lot of anxiety about making the “right” decision, and we wanted to provide any entry point to collecting that says: there are no wrong decisions, except for not supporting local artists!

SA: Let's say the Ark has landed, the flood is over, and the animals are repopulating the land. What's next for your foundation? Would you ever consider a physical permanent museum of sorts that is solely focused on Northern Californian artists, covering old legacies but exhibiting up and coming ones as well?

MS: I’m not planning to open my own museum, but we will have an announcement soon about a new program of the Svane Family Foundation that addresses exactly the need to expand institutional collections with local artists.

SA: Finally, any advice to the artists out there who may not be great with the business side of their field? We forget as artists that there is another side to our job, whether we like it or not. Some of the most successful artists in history have been savvy business people.

MS: I think sometimes commercialism is a dirty word, but I’d say to think of it as an opportunity to get more out there. Business shouldn’t be seen as hiding your true self, but participating in building something that will help your overall artist’s community. Your success helps others succeed. Artistic integrity and selling work don’t have to be at odds. The fear of selling out gets confused with principals, but music is an excellent example of large scale success with artists achieving great art. Artists shouldn’t be afraid to ask for money for their work, and people shouldn’t be afraid to spend money on art.

SA: Favorite local areas to be in nature?

MS: We always think of cities as not being in nature, but nature is everywhere! I chose to mostly stay in the city—there are no good cocktails in the woods.

SA: Favorite place to eat/shop in Northern California?

I get my favorite Danish cravings from Kantine on Market Street. Of course, our local galleries, especially Jessica Silverman Gallery, Hashimoto, Part 2 Gallery, Rebecca Camacho Presents, and Gallery Wendi Norris. I love stores like Rare Device in NOPA and Secession Art & Design in Bernal Hill. In Danish you would call it usable art—objects, clothing, jewelry, items like clocks and serving ware—as well as artworks and prints. Stores that are fun to visit with your kids, that make art really accessible.

SA: Instagram accounts of 3 local makers we should start following?

MS: My kids say I’m not allowed on Instagram.

Below are some previous works from a few of the 100 Bay Area artists that are creating work for the Auction. Artists works below in order Channel Stone, Ames Palms, Chelsea Wong, Andy Vogt, Dionne Lee, Esther Elia, Jeffrey Cheung, Aaron de la Cruz, Sydney Cruz, Katie Gong

[alexisbundy1-blog]

#14. bye bitches

Wasn’t it yesterday that we were just writing our first blog posts about what we thought it meant to be an American? Look at us now - we’re about to become seniors! We get to wear red, legally wear college sweatshirts, be ringers-

I won’t be a senior next year. I won’t be partaking in any of the wonderful traditions that Casti delegates to its graduating class. In fact, if you had told me back in 2015 that I would be leaving Casti early, I probably would have responded with, “You’re out of your mind.”

But here we are. And although my title for this blog doesn’t really show it, I’m deeply disheartened to leave both this amazing, idiosyncratic school and this chaotic country. Castilleja has given me an experience like no other, and so has the United States. For my final blog post, here are some things both America and Castilleja have taught me:

1) How to work hard: One anecdote that I’m not necessarily proud of goes back to my sixth grade year in Sydney, pre-move. By April, I had stopped doing my homework. Like actually not doing my homework. In junior school (grades 3-6), homework was a weekly task; you were given your work on Monday, and it was due by Friday. So you can imagine the shock I felt when I moved here and was introduced to...daily homework. Now I had no choice but do my homework. But it paid off - I ended up getting good grades in middle school. Sadly, I also academically peaked in middle school. Obviously when I came to Castilleja, I was introduced to competition. You know that scene in Mean Girls where Cady has a theoretical daydream about Regina and her fighting animal-style, and everyone watches on (also animal-style)? That’s how I picture Castilleja students competing over who’s more stressed or who’s more accomplished or who has the best grades. And even though the competitive nature of our grade is toxic, it’s also taught me how to go for what I want and work for it.

2) How to fight for what you want: This is perhaps my favourite Castileja-related story. It was sometime in March, I believe. March or April or early May. It was a day in one of those months, and the most important event of my life was about to occur - tickets for Harry Styles’s debut concert were going on sale. So on the day, I got my computer ready at break with my pre-registed verified fan account on Ticketmaster at hand, and I went for those tickets. Well, apparently every man and his dog were also trying to get those tickets, because even though I had been on Ticketmaster since it had opened up the sale of the tickets, I was still unable to get any. It was time to take it to the next level - Stubhub. Unfortunately, by the time I had reached Stubhub, break was over, and I had a Chem test to take. So what did I do? What any normal person would do - walk into CQ’s classroom, computer in hand and game face on, and I continued to get my tickets. I was very lucky when CQ allowed me to take the time to search for tickets, and guess what? I got them! And failed my Chem test. And also really enjoyed the Harry Styles concert! So fight for what you want, even if it means failing a Chem test, even if you don’t have a CQ letting you fight for what you want. 

3) How to be resilient: Okay, I have to admit - I am a priss. I am very prissy. I can’t deny it. If something goes wrong, my life is over. If I get a bad test score, my life is over. If ____ goes wrong, my life is over. I got my first kick of ‘resiliency’ during an eighth grade basketball game: my team was in the playoffs, it was the fourth quarter, and four of us had fouled out (myself included). I started crying because I felt guilty that we were going to lose. My father, who was one of the coaches, came over and told me sternly, “Bundys don’t cry.” So maybe that wasn’t the best thing to say to an emotional thirteen year-old, but it sure stuck with me. Do I still cry if we’re in the playoffs and I lose? Yes (but I have reason to because my partner sabotaged us ok). But if I get a bad test score, or if something goes my way, I have a brief moment, recollect myself, and move on. It’s really not the end of the world.

4) How to participate in social justice: Everyone in middle school knew me as the ‘feminist.’ So it was no surprise, then, that I ended up at Castilleja. Now, I’ve said this multiple times, but I wasn’t necessarily a social activist upon my arrival at this school. Looking back, I learned a lot from entering Diversity as a freshman, but I probably should have waited a year or two before joining. By the time of the election, I started accumulating more knowledge about social justice and speaking out. When I participated in a protest held in November 2016, I felt very liberated and very inspired by everyone who marched alongside me. When I started supporting Everytown and March for Our Lives, I felt like I was finally doing something. I may not be a full on social justice warrior, but I want to continue standing up for what is right. I hope to take what I’ve learned from these experiences back to Australia with me.

5) How to appreciate what you have: Growing up, I think I realized that I was a fortunate child, but I never realized it. In fact, I didn’t really start thinking about it up until this past year. I have been very lucky to live a fortunate life. But I never appreciated what I had. I never thought, One day, this could all be gone. I never thought, One day, I could lose my loved ones. I need to cherish them for as long as possible. Now, I try not to take the things I have for granted. I cherish the good life I live; I cherish my loving parents and my younger sisters; I cherish this wonderful education I have received; I cherish all the wonderful opportunities I have been given; I cherish my friends; I cherish being alive. I don’t think I was ever a brat, but I took too much for granted. I’ve always been ‘appreciative,’ but never appreciative. I should clarify that having a ‘wonderful life’ and ‘being fortunate’ do not translate to having money, expensive houses, materials, etc. Though I have been lucky to live in beautiful places, I am fortunate because I receive undying love and support from my parents; I am fortunate because I feel love all the time; I am fortunate because I have wonderful people in my life.

Anyway, these are just a few tidbits of what America has taught me. And so I bid my farewell - albeit sadly - to you all, but know that farewell doesn’t mean goodbye forever. I know our paths will cross again in the future, and I look forward to when they do :)

[her-culture]

Life Lessons Learned from Pixar’s "Soul"

While 2020 was undeniably a difficult year for everyone, Pixar’s Soul releases at the right time to remind you about finding happiness in the small and ordinary things in life. Streaming exclusively on Disney Plus, Soul is an animated film about a man named Joe Gardner, who is a middle school music teacher but dreams of being a jazz musician. However, after a small accident, he dies and ends up meeting an unborn soul, 22 at the You Seminar, a place where mentors help new souls discover their spark in order to come to earth. Through the film, they both end up teaching each other about the importance of life as well as treasuring every small moment and little thing.

This film taught me a lot about the meaning of life and reminded me of the Korean phrase: “small but certain happiness” (sohwakhaeng). This word trended on online communities in 2018 and people were more interested in adopting an attitude of contentment found in the small things rather than the ‘big’ things like marriage, home and career. 

At the climax of the film, Joe discovers little trinkets in his pocket which 22 had collected over time. A flower petal, lollipop, spool of string. Joe thought that 22 needed a great purpose to live, an unique ambition in life but in reality, sometimes, living in the present moment is enough. He learnt that “a spark isn’t a soul’s purpose,” that instead a spark is about enjoying regular life on earth. This means that even walking around your neighbourhood can be a spark for some people and shows us that we should not take our lives for granted. This doesn’t mean that having music, books, your career or religion as your soul is a bad thing but the movie emphasises it’s okay to not always know that spark. The little things that get you out of your bed each morning is enough for now and reminds you of the true beauty and wonder of living in this world, even if it's shadowed by a pandemic.

There’s also a lot of expectation and pressure on people of all ages these days to find their dream or passion, their major in college, their first job right away and stick with it for the rest of their lives. Like 22, they might not know their spark or like Joe, maybe they have a little voice in their head that dares to dream, but is weighed down by societal pressures of parents, money and stability. Whatever it is, it’s okay to keep trying new things and take one step at a time. BTS’ song, “Paradise” on their Love Yourself Tear (2018) album similarly talks about this topic of slowing down the busyness of living in this world and to accept not knowing your next destination in life. The lyrics in the chorus correspond well with Soul’s meaning: 

”It’s alright to stop / There’s no need to run without even knowing the reason / It’s alright to not have a dream / If you have moments where you feel happiness for a while.” 

BTS shows us that it’s okay to not have a distinctive dream and that the little moments of ‘small happiness’ we feel day-to-day such as watering your plants or drinking a cup of tea is special and memorable. 

As we approach the new year, we might have a lot of hopes, aspirations and dreams. But at the end of the film, Joe realises he is going to live and value every moment. I hope that this encourages you to embrace the small connections and normal, everyday experiences of life, as well as allowing you to think more deeply about what brings you joy even in this uncertain time. Make sure to bring a tissue box and let your feelings out in the best way possible.

Tiffany is a recent Creative Writing graduate at UTS, based in Sydney. Growing up, she had always loved stories and the power of words to build a connection with an audience. You can find her usually at home curled up with some milk tea or listening to pop/indie music.

[allenmendezsr]

What's He Really Thinking

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What's He Really Thinking

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Bob Grant, P.L.C. “The Relationship Doctor”

His heart opens when you do THIS…

“The woman who can read a man’s heart and mind has an unfair advantage for it triggers his deepest desire – to feel understood.”

Dear Friend,

IT’S A FACT: If you could read your man’s mind, you would have an almost “unfair” advantage over every other woman he’s ever met.

What’s more, your relationship would now be DRAMATICALLY better on EVERY level:

And if you’re a woman of average intelligence or better, I can teach you exactly how to do it. No kidding. Keep reading…

Fact is, I’ve taught this to thousands of women worldwide. And it’s all based on scientific fact and my experience working with hundreds of clients in my private practice.

So if you’ve ever asked yourself…

You’re not alone!

First of all, it’s not your fault if you don’t understand men.

And if you’re frustrated and confused about how men think and why they do the things they do, you’re certainly not alone.

No one is born already knowing how to create successful relationships. And, even though our schools and colleges should probably have classes on the subject, there aren’t many ways to learn about relationships except by painful trial and error—ARGH!

But what seems to frustrate women the most is that men seem to think and act in ways that just don’t make any sense!

Why Do Guys Do What they Do? Why are Men So #@&! Confusing?

Mostly, they’re confusing because you are not a man. (Believe me, that’s a good thing!)

If you’re seeing the world only through your eyes, the way most women do, you’re only getting half the picture. Fact is, the majority of women have no clue how the world looks though a man’s eyes. Most women can’t be bothered to care how their men think or what they feel.

The fact that YOU are reading this tells me you’re different from most women.

Now, as we both know, 99.99% of men badly need a crash-course in understanding women. But here’s the thing:

If You Really Want to Understand Men, You Should Listen to a Man!

You see, when women want to understand their men, they usually talk to other women. What a mistake! Because while it feels good to vent to your girlfriends, they can’t possibly give you a man’s unique perspective.

Fact is, you won’t discover the secrets of understanding men by talking to other women. To really understand men, you simply need to talk to a man.

But notice that I didn’t say, “Talk to ANY man.”

No!

You need to talk to a man with years of professional experience helping thousands of couples nationwide to understand each other… communicate more effectively… and have more fun while both dating and in long-term relationships.

I Am That Man… and I Can Help You.

Hello, my name is Bob Grant. I’m a therapist and a Licensed Professional Counselor. I’ve also been a relationship coach for over 20 years.

And during that time, I’ve helped hundreds of men and women find and achieve more rewarding and satisfying relationships. In fact, I’ve been nicknamed, “The Relationship Doctor” by my clients nationwide. That’s because I’ve discovered the prescription for keeping your love alive… whether you want to strengthen an existing relationship, or rekindle the fiery spark you once had and badly want back. Best of all… it really works.

So if you want to understand your man better… and you’re not afraid of some straight talk… keep reading. I’m going to share with you some of the secrets I’ve learned.

Imagine Knowing Your Man Better Than He Knows Himself

Women are smart. They know that, intuitively, men are different from them.

And in the next few minutes, I’ll show you how—using your intuition—you can easily develop an almost magical ability to “see” what your man is thinking… read his mind… understand his actions… and interpret his often confusing behaviors.

I’ll also show you an incredibly simple way you can learn to deepen your romantic connection with your man and super-charge your relationship for life.

Imagine how your relationship would change for the better if you knew:

That’s just a fraction of what I teach in my powerful downloadable guide, What’s He Really Thinking? And thanks to the reach of internet, it’s rapidly becoming the #1 relationship strategy tool worldwide.

  “I got your program and after over 28 years without a man in my life I am learning how to talk to men and hopefully to find one to spend the rest of my life with.”

Sydney Atlanta, GA

  You’ll receive the kind of unique insight into a man’s mind that totally blows the doors off the #1 Myth:

MYTH: Men HATE Talking About Their Feelings TRUTH: Men Are DYING to Open Up and Share…

With the RIGHT WOMAN

Have you ever experienced this? Things are going really well with your man. So well, in fact, that you’re afraid to rock the boat.

So when you feel insecure about something or want to share something you think he’ll perceive as “negative,” you don’t. You keep it inside. You bottle it up.

You’re afraid that by being honest with him, you’ll lose his love and respect.

The problem with this approach (and many women do this) is you end up feeling more scared and alone than ever. And—the worse part—it often becomes a vicious cycle: You don’t share your true feelings with him, and he doesn’t seem to be sharing his true self with you, either. It’s frustrating for everyone!

You’re dying to ask him what’s wrong, but you don’t. You tippy-toe around him, holding your breath. And you force yourself to accept the silence and the distance between you.

You both pretend everything’s okay—and you both know it’s not.

I know how confusing and frustrating this experience can be, because I’ve heard this from so many women. But it doesn’t have to be this way!

How to Get Him to Open Up to You And Express His Feelings

Many women believe that men just don’t like expressing their feelings. They think men are just born this way and there’s nothing they can do about it.

Unfortunately, this means that many women also give up. They stop trying to connect with their man, because they believe there’s simply no point.

Don’t do it! Nothing could be further from the truth! Here’s a little-known secret that will turn your love life around and bring you the closeness you’ve been seeking…

Men don’t like drama or high emotions. (Read that again.) It makes them uncomfortable. But that’s not because they don’t care. Rather it’s because they’re not as comfortable handling emotions as women are. So emotional intensity or hidden intensity makes men want to shut down and withdraw.

In order to feel comfortable opening up, a man needs to feel safe with you. And he can’t feel safe if you’re making him uncomfortable. However, if you can express our feelings in a non-judgmental way, you allow your man to stay open to you. And he’ll feel more comfortable opening up to you, too.

  “I think the advice is right on and have found it very helpful. I have a friend who is a marriage counselor and she says many of the same things, which puts her in good company. I especially like the section on How To Read His Mind. I love Bob Grant!”

Stacy Chico, CA

  Here’s How to Get Your Man to Start Listening to What’s Important to You:

Step 1: Stop “Stuffing”

Stuffing down negative emotions or pretending that something doesn’t bother you doesn’t work. Sure, you’ll avoid outright conflict, but you’re not fooling anyone—least of all your man.

He’ll feel your uneasy ‘vibe’ and, while he may not know what’s going on, he knows you’re not being authentic with him. In turn, he becomes uneasy around you because he senses you’re pretending. If you’re not honest with him, he’s not going to feel he can be honest with you. And, in turn, you sense him withdrawing. (See how this destructive cycle begins? It creates a mess!)

So, instead of stuffing your emotions, allow yourself to be vulnerable and authentic. Women often don’t realize how appealing that makes them to a man, and how it awakens the strong protector in him.

But how do you allow yourself to be authentic and vulnerable without coming across as confused, angry and insecure? Do this…

STEP 2: Share Your Feelings Without Making Him ResponsibleThe next time you’re tempted to tell a man what to do or what you think, STOP!

Instead, share your feelings, not your thoughts or actions. What do I mean by this? Let me explain:

Let’s say your guy has been working a lot, and coming home late. You hardly see him anymore, and it’s begun to feel like you’re roommates sharing a space, instead of lovers sharing a life. Worse, when he is home, the two of you never talk about your relationship any more. It’s as though your life as a couple has ceased to exist.

Lately—when you hear him come in—you’re not delighted and excited to have him home. Instead, you dread another long evening of silence and small talk.

At the sound of his key in the lock, your heart pounds, and your stomach tightens. Once those physical feelings meant love and desire. But now those feelings mean you’re frustrated and anxious, because you don’t know what to say to him.

Instead of letting your frustration and sadness boil over into scalding criticism of his actions (“I can’t believe you forgot our anniversary!”) try communicating the simple, real feeling you’re having (“I’m really sad that you’re so busy at work that you couldn’t get home early for our anniversary”)

Feel the difference? (Yes, it’s a FEELING!) You’ve expressed how you feel in a way that allows him to hear you… without making him feel like he’s the reason you feel awful.

That’s why I urge you to read my powerful, best-selling eBook, What’s He Really Thinking? I’ll show you exactly how to express your feelings without making him feel guilty and helpless. You’ll be amazed at how expressing your feelings this new way will inspire your man to open up to you, and connect to you in ways you never imagined.

What’s He Really Thinking? gives you incredibly powerful relationship tools to create small shifts in the way you relate to each other. Tools that will make an enormous difference in the closeness of your relationship.

To learn how to achieve the kind of closeness you’ve always wanted with a man, starting right now,

download

What’s He Really Thinking? and try it free for seven weeks. Refer to it whenever you desire more closeness, or whenever you want your man to really connect with you.

  “What’s He Really Thinking was one of my favorite Bob Grant books so far.  It provided me with specific insights into the male mind that I was unaware of, and helped me clear up a few misconceptions that I had about men in general.  I have been using some of the principles I learned, and what a huge difference it has made in my relationship. My significant other has noticed some subtle changes and commented on how much he likes the changes. Thank you Bob Grant!”

Allyson (City/State withheld by request)

  Fact is, once you know how to attract a man’s heart, not just his body and mind, you will have him forever.

LISTEN: The information I’m going to share with you is not the fluff you see in bookstores or online. You know the ones I mean. The crappy e-books loaded with nothing more than someone’s opinions about why your relationship isn’t working.

It’s also not one of those generic guides cobbled together from other people’s mediocre websites.

And it’s also nothing like those so-called celebrity “gurus” who seem to take pleasure in telling you how it’s YOU who screwed things up… how YOU’RE the one that’s tearing your relationship apart… or how YOU’RE the one who needs fixing!

HOGWASH! Fact is, the vast majority of relationship problems that men and women experience have nothing to do with YOU, but are totally explained by biological science!

Scientists Prove that Men’s Brains are Actually “Wired” Differently Than Women’s

Read these fascinating facts…

Recent research proves what you probably already suspected: Men don’t think like women. It has to do with the way men and women are wired. It’s fascinating… and most women know absolutely nothing about it. (And it shows by the way they interact with men.)

For example…

By now, you can begin to see that many of the things that are confusing and frustrating about men, actually have a simple explanation: biology. In the same way, in What’s He Really Thinking? I reveal the simple truths about why men act the way they do. Even better, I give you specific, actionable, how-to strategies to allow you to release old, destructive myths about how men think, so you can focus on truly understanding how your man thinks and feels.

The result? Instant relationship improvement… a far deeper connection… amazing communication… and greater personal power.

PLUS… because I’ll teach you a therapy-tested way to talk to men—he’ll understand you like never before and see you in a whole new and positive light. (Yes, really.)

  “I was reading through What’s He Thinking and laughed my head off when I got to the part about how men focus on just one thing at a time. It explained so much! Now I know how to get his attention pretty much whenever I want. Thanks so much.”

Tiffany Greenville, SC

  What’s He Really Thinking? also reveals solutions and answers to some of your most perplexing man mysteries:

  “Reading this book helped me to get rid of a lot of previous assumptions that I made about men.  It opened my eyes and caused me to really think twice about the way that I judged things that guys do or say. My boyfriend has already noticed a big difference. I guess that’s why he’s started spending more time with me, :-). Thanks Bob!”

Mandy Dalton, GA

  You Know all the “Strange” Things He Does? I Tell You Exactly WHY

He Does Them.

(This helps save you a lifetime of frustration… hurt feelings… painful miscommunications… and one broken heart after another.)

Now that you know that men and women are “wired” so differently:

You Can Finally Have the Loving & Satisfying Relationship You Deserve

No longer do you have to feel uncertain about what your man really means … no longer will you have to spend hours worrying about how to “interpret” something your man said.

And best of all, you can start right now! Beginning in the next few minutes, you can gain a clearer understanding of the man you love. You can take steps to ensure you keep your soul mate, the love of your life, for the rest of your life.

You see, What’s He Really Thinking? was written not only to help women just like you, but because of women just like you.

I took 20 years of the most powerful insights my clients gave me, and condensed them into what I believe are the clearest and easiest ways to peek inside the male mind.

The best part? You can put this information to use right away. You’ll quickly discover the many ways men are predictable, and how you can use that knowledge to benefit both of you.

In fact, while you’re reading What’s He Really Thinking?, you’ll feel as if you’re in a private session with me. And—better still—when you start putting the information to use, it’ll be like having me by your side… tugging on your sleeve… telling you all the right things to say and do… whispering in your ear the secrets that will change his moods… make him cooperative… understand your feelings… and see you for the amazing women you are!

Yes… effective communication really can be this powerful. If you doubt it right now, it’s only because you haven’t yet experienced its power. Good news: you don’t have to believe anything I say. Simply use the ideas I share with you. They work whether you believe they will or not.

  “I read What Is He Really Thinking? and I thought what have I been thinking?  Bob’s book helped me to re-evaluate how I respond, and to see how my misperceptions have led me to see many of the men I have dated in the wrong light.  The book makes it seem so simple!  It’s helped me to gain a new perspective that has made a big difference in my current relationship!!”

Dana Alison St. Louis, MO

  What’s more, you’ll also discover (by learning to understand how your man thinks and feels) things about yourself that will empower you, and help you have better relationships with all the men in your life!

Whether he’s your husband, boyfriend, boss, brother, son, father … it’s a complete guide to male behavior. Using the secrets contained in What’s He Really Thinking? you’ll have the know-how to transform all your relationships with men… ESPECIALLY the romantic kind.

I Guarantee You Will Laugh at the Way You Used to Think About and Interact With Men

(And you’ll be shocked at how so many other women do the same!)

What you’ll be learning about men will cause you to see them, and interact with them, in brand new, positive ways.

And men will notice. They will respond to you differently. They will realize that you’re not like any other woman they’ve met.

It’s a lot of power to have. But it’s a power that’s been denied to women like you for too long.

For too long, women have been led to believe that they have little or no power in their relationships with men. It’s time to change that. And I’m going to help.

Listen to me: whether you’re still looking for Mr. Right… OR you’re dating and want it to move to the next level… OR you’re engaged and want to start off right… OR you’re married and want to rekindle your intimacy and connection… I am putting into your hands an amazing opportunity to get exactly what you want.

What’s Your Man Thinking RIGHT NOW?

Right now, the most important man in your life may be feeling misunderstood… maybe even unloved. He may even be wondering if there’s any point in you being together. He may be thinking of moving on, getting out, or giving up. Or simply questioning the relationship. Maybe he’s simply unsure and he’s bouncing around his thoughts and feelings… waiting to see what you do next.

Think this can’t happen to you? WAKE UP! It happens more often than most women think. Even in a great relationship, there are many times that your man will have these negative thoughts. It’s just how the male mind works. And if you’re not aware of this—and know how to counteract it—you might find yourself single once again… scratching your head wondering what happened. No kidding!

Instead—after I’m done teaching you… you’ll know how the right word or gesture from you could change his mind. How the right word or gesture from you could transform your relationship and make it stronger than it ever was. You’ll know what to say and how to say it. You won’t simply hear his words—like most other women may—but you’ll actually hear and understand the intention behind those words… the only part that really matters! I know you’ll absolutely flip from the things I reveal to you, that I’ll let you download and read What’s He Really Thinking? for a full 7 weeks without risk, like I have for thousands of women worldwide.

  “I love the book.  I have made bad choices and I was not aware why things never worked out.  With this book, I can see my mistakes and it gives me new hope.”

Lisa Andersen Yuba City, CA

    “Devoured your What’s He Really Thinking yesterday. Such good stuff—it makes me want to write even more—and reminds me that there are other men who know the exact same stuff that I do.

Very humbling.”

Evan Marc Katz, Dating Coach Featured in the bestselling book, Marry Him evanmarckatz.com

  I’ve sold this valuable eye-opening guide worldwide. That’s because it’s packed with practical, ready-to-use information that you can’t get anywhere else, offline or online. I’m positive that, if you make a sincere effort to use this information, you will automatically begin to enjoy more satisfying, rewarding and successful relationships.

In fact, with the information I’m going to teach you, it would be nearly impossible to do anything else but to create and maintain better relationships with men. That’s because you’ll finally be talking to men in a way they can understand. And you’ll be listening in a way that will make you actually laugh at the old way you heard men before. (You’ll see exactly what I mean in just the first few pages of my book. It’s like night and day!

PLUS, when you order before midnight tonight, …

You’ll Receive the Extended Version with the Valuable Bonus Section: “The Four Steps to Reading Minds”

Women are often naturally gifted with intuition. And you’ll be amazed at how easy it is to “read minds” when you follow these 4 simple steps. Imagine being able to tell what your boss or colleague is thinking. Imagine knowing what someone is going to do before they do it. Develop the ability to read minds and watch your professional and personal life soar. For example, you’ll learn:

And that’s not all…

After you order, look for these Advanced Programs offered at a STEEP discount.

The Woman Men Adore advanced Video System.

retail: $129

– You’ll exactly what men find irresistible in a woman.

– How to create the kind of intense attraction that makes a man

With specific real life examples and practical tips and suggestions, you won’t have to guess about what to do.

* Paige used the On button technique and suddenly her husband began asking her how he could help out around the house.

* Cynthia realized that she had been using the #1 relationship killer on all of her boyfriends and by making 1 simple change married the next man she dated.

* Gretchen was using the unconscious trigger and found herself being approached by a gentleman in a hotel lobby. Her words to me were, “Bob, that has never happened to me before!”

AND

The Bonding Code

Retail: $49

-The temptations men face today are constant.

-Hook up website, Apps that make affairs easy and even FACEBOOK. All of these tempt a man and put even the strongest relationship at risk.

-Unless a man has an emotional BOND with you, he won’t love you enough to resist all of those temptations.

The Bonding Code will show you how to create this bond that will keep him devoted to you forever.

AND

There are 2 more surprise programs that total are worth $297in total. But this is a 1 time offer. Look for it Right After you purchase What’s He Really Thinking, but I’ll let you have them for only an additional $97.

Just click on the button in the form below, and you’ll get instant access to your personal copy of What’s He Really Thinking?, including the bonus section (Page 111) —The Four Steps to Reading Minds—absolutely FREE, all with my 60 day guarantee of complete satisfaction.

  “This Program challenges many long held beliefs and theories about men that simply aren’t true. It’s very practical, easy to understand and shockingly accurate. A must-read for any woman who wants to stop guessing and know the truth about what’s really going on inside a man’s mind. It’s like letting women look through a one-way mirror at men and letting her see, hear and know what he’s really thinking. This book is a must for any woman who wants to understand her man!”

Susie and Otto Collins, Authors of: Magic Relationship Words, Stop Talking on Eggshells and Should You Stay or Should You Go? RelationshipGold.com

  Remember, you risk nothing. Just check it out. You have 60 days to examine What’s He Really Thinking? and put the knowledge to work for you. And you are completely protected by my “No-Nonsense, You Love It or I Give You a Fast & Cheerful Refund Guarantee”.

It’s time to get off the rollercoaster of uncertainty. Dating or married, you absolutely need this information about men if you want to have a relationship that is better than it is now, or what you have had in the past.

The simple, actionable information you’ll find in What’s He Really Thinking? has already worked for hundreds of women, of all ages, and from all walks of life. Follow my advice in What’s He Really Thinking? and you’ll reap the rewards. I guarantee it.

Bob Grant, P.L.C.

“The Relationship Doctor”

P.S. Remember, after you download your copy of What’s He Really Thinking? you have 7 whole weeks to test out your new knowledge. If you’re like most other women, however, you won’t need that much time to see a big change taking place in both you and your man. Its pure psychology… and you’ll finally know all about it. P.P.S. With what you’ll learn in What’s He Really Thinking? you’ll be able to stop worrying about your relationship, and start having fun again! Plus, you’ll once again be the most fascinating, most interesting woman he’s ever met!

Sure, I know that sounds corny, but that doesn’t matter. What matters are the results you get. And when you see the change in how your man interacts with you when you show him you truly understand what he’s saying… and how the effectiveness of your communication skyrockets, you’ll be singing the praises of this incredible book, too! Now… click the button below and start reading!

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"Having a single mom who was so accepting, that was a huge privilege that I never take for granted. And definitely passing your knowledge as a woman, the way you're perceived by the world as a woman, taught me that there are differences in the way people will treat you as a girl and especially as a trans girl. She definitely helped me prepare and let me know that it wasn’t going to be easy but that she was going to be there for me. I just feel like you teach me everything you can." - Memphis Murphy 💚 #ad _ Sydney Oliver and Memphis Murphy’s mother-daughter relationship 👩‍👧 is one of pure love, inspiration, and shared appreciation of 👠 fashion as a tool for achieving self-acceptance and genuine 💕 self-expression. As a trans woman, Memphis needed ✨ encouragement and freedom, which her mother provided as her advocate, through and through. 💯 Read more about @memphy and @nysydney’s incredible bond ✨ link in bio. _ Photo: @quillemons #R29xGucci https://ift.tt/2YLZTve

[lemon-zinger-tea]

Bloodlines Series Review, by me

Okay so, this is my first review of a series/book so go easy on me. I decided to do this series review because 1) I have a lot of thoughts on it and 2) I just feel like letting my opinions and feels out So Bloodlines is a sequel series to the Vampire Academy series and this series follows Sydney Sage, an alchemist that works to hide the moroi (good vampires, strigoi are bad vampires in this world) and dhampirs (half vampire-half human) from the human world. It also follows Adrian Ivashkov *both were in Vampire Academy* Let's start with the things I liked the best and then I'll get to things I didn't love -Sydney's characterization and growth. Who she is in Bloodlines and who she is in The Ruby Circle are almost two different people. Book one Sydney is unsure of herself, eager to please the alchemists, and she's at the beginning of her journey of befriending the vampires/dhampirs that she's staying with. Throughout The Golden Lily and The Indigo Spell, she lets go of all of her hangups that the alchemists taught her and she forms her own feelings and opinions on the Moroi vampires and her own organization. She never really stops growing throughout the series, until The Ruby Circle, when her problems are more external than internal (though I would have liked more recovery from what she endured in Silver Shadows because that's really traumatic) -Adrian and Sydney's relationship was just.....goals man. It wasn't perfect or anything I mean let's be real, it wouldn't be goals if it was perfect (perfect is boring, man). I think what I enjoyed the most about their relationship was the fact that the obstacles they faced were not because of some love triangle. Rose (Adrian's ex girlfriend, and the main character in the VA series) was not an issue at all for them. Adrian got over her pretty easily and it made me so happy because I did not want to read all these books of him pining for her with Sydney right there. There was some pining in book 1, but that was realistic, and so was how he got over her. I also really enjoyed Sydney's internal battle of choosing him or her organization, and I was SO ON BOARD WHEN SHE CHOSE HIM OVER THE ALCHEMISTS AND BASICALLY SAID SCREW YOU TOWARDS THE END OF THIS. *wipes forehead* sorry, rant over. Actually not quite because I think I just thought of something that might be my ACTUAL favorite aspect of their relationship: the mutual respect. In the first few books, everyone sees Adrian as this drunken playboy who won't amount to much. And at first, they're not all that wrong. But Sydney actually looks past that. She sees his potential and never gives up on him. On Adrians end, I was crazy about the fact that he waited for Sydney to be ready to be with him, which is no small feat because he had to wait until about the end of The Indigo Spell (book 3) for her to give in to her feelings. -The side characters, my dear readers, the side characters. I love almost all of them (Zoe angered me to no end throughout The Fiery Heart [book 4] but whatever). It kinda annoyed me in VA that Eddie was kinda just there a lot of the time and was only in the books when he was needed for the plot. BUT RICHELLE MEAD MADE UP FOR THAT IN THIS SERIES BECAUSE I LOVED HIM. Him and Jill together were so cute I can't. A lot of the side characters also had their own side plot which made me happy; I liked that they weren't just there to further the story. Overall I could talk about this series and it's glory all day but let's move on to some annoying tidbits -Richelle mead would leave some plot lines open from one book, and then the next book would start and FRICKING NEVER MENTION WHAT HAPPENED PREVIOUSLY UNTIL LIKE 3 BOOKS LATER WHEN ALL THAT HAPPENED COMES BACK TO RANDOMLY BITE THEM ALL IN THE ASS. For example, in The Indigo Spell, the main conflict was about Sydney's magical mentor's sister coming around and sucking the life from young girls. It turns out the magical mentor had been drained by her protégée, Alicia, who went after Sydney's mentor, Jackie Terwilliger and ends up trapped in a burning house. I remember Sydney mentioning having a "bad feeling" that Alicia would be back. WELL FLASH FORWARD THREE BOOKS ANS GUESS WHAT SHE'S BACK, WITH NOT MENTION OF HER IN THE TWO BOOKS BETWEEN THE INDIGO SPELL AND THE LAST BOOK. Granted, they all had bigger problems to deal with, but I would have liked some plot points dealt with in some kind of order. -This next point needs some explaining so: at the end of the fourth book, The Fiery Heart, Sydney's relationship with Adrian is discovered, and she's captured by the alchemists and forced to go to "re-education" where in the next book, Silver Shadows, she endures mental and physical torture, and she has to go through a lot of shit to just survive, let alone aid Adrian and the gang into getting her and her fellow inmates out. This plot point didn't annoy me, though it did give me anxiety. What annoyed me, is how easily Adrian fell back into his old partying ways while she was suffering. Granted at the time, they had all hit a wall in locating Sydney, and things DID look pretty bleak, but there was no excuse for him just giving up. I also would have liked to have seen them talk about that and the torture Sydney went through. There wasn't much of that when she finally got out. -This isn't about the story itself but like, the covers were kinda ugly😬not gonna lie Honestly my only other note about this series is my wish that I had gotten into it back when it was at it's prime, because now people are on to bigger and better things, and everyone has read these books. But whatever. Overall, I'd give this series overall a 4/5, because I just enjoyed almost every minute of it

[wildlyhardphilosopher-blog]

Dog Behaviorist Near Me | Step by Step Here

New Post has been published on https://dogtraining.dknol.com/english/dog-behaviorist-near-me-step-by-step-here/?utm_source=Tumblr&utm_medium=Tumblr+%230+Freda+K+Pless&utm_campaign=SNAP%2Bfrom%2BBest+Dog+Training

Dog Behaviorist Near Me | Step by Step Here

07 Sep 2017 9:37:09am Raffaella Corsaro Sgroi Knox Obedience Dog Club Factors[edit] Latest Poll 3.1 Operant conditioning Hutchinson, Lieut-Gen WN (1865). Dog Breaking for the Gun: The Most Expeditious, Certain and Easy Method, With Copious Notes on Shooting Sports, New York: Vintage Dog Books, 2005 ISBN 978-1-84664-035-3 The Guard Dog Training Centre is open Monday to Saturday from 8am to 5pm and Sunday 8.30am to 10.30am. Take the scenic rural  drive off the M7 Motorway, Richmond Road exit and see for yourself why we refer to our facilities as a Dog’s Paradise. See Map! Other pets khye : Dogs Great Deals & Payment options Fundraising Clothing Barbara : 0424 740 234 or Correcting mistakes This is a 6 week course that will run for 45 minutes on Thursday nights. Great Deals & Payment options Owning a pet No need to book in – simply turn up 15 minutes prior to a scheduled class and sign in.   Urban Basics Course 10% discount on Private training Now you have the very basics down pat, let’s build on that to teach your dog to walk nicely on leash, come when called and go to their bed and settle. A dog that can do these skills is one who is focused, calm and has a great relationship with their human. It also makes them easy to live with! 2017 Intake June Workshop the vet for even the simplest of Awards we’ve won Landline 0 Meet Our Staff My dog barks, gets over excited, lunges and/or growls when they see another dog.  Is the Levels Training Program appropriate for my dog? Dog Treats Dog Psychology Port Adelaide Obedience Dog Club Ella : Dog Training Canberra Bayswater Doberman Sale I LIKED THIS STORY Algebra Data Probability – FREE It’s really great to have back up by great trainers who really know what they are doing, and have the dog’s best interest at heart. Submit WaggWalker® Volunteering for Community Programs Call 1800 067 710 Dog Care Dog Boarding Schools – Doggie Bootcamp Game hunting in Victoria Fractions Dog Psychology Centers Tea Tree Gully First, ask your dog to “Sit.” News and stories Best online course I have done. Great set up and superb customer service. Thank you blue dog training. – Kayla Bowman We had Emma around today to help us learn what to do with our new puppy Max. We really enjoyed her techniques and explanations and can already see our Max responding to the techniques. I also love tha…t the focus is not on using food/treats as reward – her explanations made sense. Thank you Emma! See more Good Game Spawn Point FAQs Repeat it every day. If your dog tries to sit up or lunges toward your hand, say “No” and take your hand away. Don’t push him into a down position, and encourage every step your dog takes toward the right position. After all, he’s working hard to figure it out! Pet Hazards Lifetime Support Guarantee Assignment Extension Application Form 4 Training methods Puppy care Your Email (required) Puppy Paws Packages Rottweiler Sale Reid, Pamela J. (1996). Excel-Erated Learning, Explaining (in Plain English) How Dogs Learn and How Best to Teach Them, James & Kenneth Publishers. The World Dog Games – Centennial Park, Sydney, Wednesday 24 June 2009 Hosted by Grant Denyer from Channel Seven.  Many celebrities were in attendance with their dogs including Jimmy Barnes, Sam Neil, Diesel, Ruby Rose, Denise Drysdale and many more.  Pictured above is Fred, Luana & Lu Lu speaking with “The Dog Whisperer” Cesar Millan who was also a special guest speaker to launch The World Dog Games. Raising puppies workshop. Arrive 10 minutes before class Newsletters In 1935, the American Kennel Club began obedience trials, and in the following years popular magazines raised public awareness of the benefits of having a trained pet dog, and of the recreational possibilities of dog training as a hobby.[17] After WWII, the increasing complexities of suburban living demanded that for a pet dog’s own protection and its owner’s convenience, the dog should be obedient. William Koehler had served as principal trainer at the War Dog Training Center, in California, and after the war became chief trainer for the Orange Empire Dog Club—at the time, the largest dog club in the United States—instructor for a number of breed clubs, and a dog trainer for the Walt Disney Studios.[18] In 1962 Koehler published The Koehler Method of Dog Training, in which he is highly critical of what he calls “tid-bit training techniques” based in “the prattle of ‘dog psychologists'”.[17] Amongst the training innovations attributed to Koehler is the use of a long line in conjunction with a complete absence of oral communication as a way of instilling attentiveness prior to any leash training. Koehler insisted that participants in his training classes used “emphatic corrections”, including leash jerks and throw chains, explaining that tentative, nagging corrections were cruel in that they caused emotional disturbance to the dog.[19] Vicki Hearne, a disciple of Koehler’s, commented on the widespread criticism of his corrections, with the explanation that it was the emotionally loaded language used in the book that led to a number of court cases, and to the book being banned in Arizona for a time.[20] Despite the controversy, his basic method forms the core of many contemporary training systems.[21] 8 + 12 = Blue Mountains Shelter Dog Training Classes Group classes held in Ringwood, Thursday Evenings and Sunday Mornings. From Puppies to Advanced. First Lesson Free. … Monday – Friday About Us Burch, Mary R.; and Jon S. Bailey (1999). How Dogs Learn, New York: Howell Book House ISBN 0-87605-371-1 Ranga Wheatbix Blue Dog Training on Twitter Behind the News Boarding your dog Agriculture Inclement weather Dog Training Establishments All Ages (Part 2) Luring Workshop KID 7: But then I’m happy that these puppies are going to change someone’s life. Dog behaviorist Share Well, from …the moment I picked up the phone and spoke to someone at SitDropStay, I knew that these were the people I wanted to help train our 15 week Border Collie puppy Bear. The person I spoke with for the inital consult was fantastic and definitely knew what he was talking about in regards to the behaviors that our puppy had already started showing! He wasn’t focused on telling us the price and why they are the best and why we ‘need’ them to come and train our dog. He just explained how the trainer Emma (who also has owned Border Collies for years) would be able to help us out and that it was’t about coming and teaching him tricks – as the man said, we can do that but really we would just be taking your money – it was about teaching us how to have such a high energy dog that was calm when we told him to be and played when we asked – and of course listened to our commands. From that initial phone call I felt at ease! Oran park, New South Wales 12 External links Student 2017 Discussion Forum Discover RSPCA NSW adoptions, community programs, education, training and veterinary services, plus learn about animal care, safety and welfare. There are no classes on Public Holiday weekends. From the Shop School for Dogs Aldinga Bay Inc Class Six Phone 07 3459 2121 Expert Consultancy All classes are held at Hays Paddock with a car park in Lister St, Kew East. Add a listing All dogs become conditioned never to eliminate in their dens. From two to four months of age, most pups pick up on the concept of housebreaking quite easily since it is part of their natural programming. Jump up ^ Woodhouse 1982, p. 9. About our donations You Work We Train Illawarra Shelter Level 1 Junior We have lots of tips and fast facts to help you look after your pet and live happily with them. Whether it’s a barking dog, house training a kitten or general hints for your new puppy, we have that expertise to help you. Name (optional) Canine Communication $230 Lifetime Membership Nomination Lifetime Membership Nominations for 2018 are Now Open Click here to enrol or find out more about our Group Training Classes Sit and drop at a distance ^ Jump up to: a b c d Yin, Sophia (2007). “Dominance versus leadership in dog training”. Compendium on Continuing Education for the Practising Veterinarian, North American Edition. 29 (7): 414–4–8 our service ratings We had George over today! And I was absolutely blown away! He truely has a gift and our Cane Corso was so quick to respect him! It’s only been hours and Zeus has changed his attitude and is showing gr…eat progress already. Now to keep it consistent and show our friends and family the things we were taught! For the purpose of the Schedule of the Act, dogs that have undergone obedience training which comply with the Regulations will receive a reduced registration fee with their Council. Find the perfect pet for you and your family. Cat Wetland areas Class Two Read the Article Jump up ^ Millan 2010, p. 90. Should you punish my puppy for misbehaviour? Balgowlah Apartment Dogs Languages Pets During Fireworks And Thunderstorms Freedom of Movement Adopt Meet our adoption animals and you could find your new best friend! Search cats, dogs, kittens, puppies and rabbits Read more Featured Emma came out yesterday to our home and it was the best experience I have ever had! She explained things to both my partner and myself in a way that we both understood (we are polar opposites – he is high energy all the time and I am calm) and showed us the ways in which to teach Bear how to listen to our commands, come when called and not do naughty things (like chewing shoes and digging holes). We were also able to walk Bear on the lead for the first time without him digging his heels in and refusing to walk or even worse, walking us! Barking Solutions® Loyalty Club Heat Stress Address: Find Us Click here to book a class Central Coast NSW Loading… nyah : Dora Zett/Shutterstock.com 25 26 27 28 29 30 1 Notes Petbarn Our behaviour specialists are available on weekdays and weekends. Fractions Decimals Percentages – FREE New Zealand

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fbq('track', 'ViewContent', content_ids: 'dogtraining.dknol', ); Ask a question Aboriginal fishing does not follow simple cues such as “come”  Time: 2018-07-21T13:29:56Z Company Accounts ABC Sport Dog bite prevention Filters Urban Agility for Beginners Level 2 How To Pay Jennifer Pearce I’ve found a pet Toggle navigation Students Area – April 2016 Donate to Wikipedia Browse > Schedule > Relax! Apartment Dogs Leaving food on request Support Groups If he’s an older dog, he’s probably used to his name; however, changing it isn’t out of the question. If he’s from a shelter, they may neglect to tell you that he has a temporary name assigned to him by staff. If he’s from a breeder, he’ll come to you with a long name, which you may want to shorten, or change. And if he’s coming out of an abusive situation, a new name may represent a fresh start. But we’re lucky: dogs are extremely adaptable. And soon enough, if you use it consistently, he will respond to his new name. (Nova 96.9FM) TV programme Template:How Many Teeth Do Dogs Have? [1] training in appropriate equipment used to train dogs Best Way To Train Your Dog | Check It Out Best Way To Train Your Dog | Read More Best Way To Train Your Dog | Read More Now Legal | Sitemap