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shadyruinskryptonite · 9 months ago

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Titan Bending Chapter 18

Warning: Violence consistent with cannon, NSFW so MDNI, language, major character death (both consistent with canon of both AOT and ATLA as well as diverging from canon), so much trauma literally everyone is so traumatized, very much slow burn, a little enemies to lovers, SO MUCH ANGST, hurt/comfort, hurt and delayed comfort, AFAB reader

Chapter Warnings: Talks of killing and almost being killed, killing titans, drugs mentioned as a joke

WC: 4405

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Masterlist

Tags: @mochminnie @sseleniaa @naruwitch

Without thinking, I run towards Aang, arms flailing wildly, yelling his name over and over.

“Aang! Aang!”

As he sets foot on land, I nearly tackle him to the ground in a hug. Luckily, he returns it in kind.

Still holding onto me, he leans back and says, “I was so confused when Momo took off, he must have smelled you. Let me head back up real quick and tell the others to land.”

My eyes fill with wonder, “The others? Everyone is here?”

Unfurling his glider again, he merely smiles and nods before taking off to return to Appa. I watch him fly off as I shift back and forth on my feet, doing a little happy dance to myself because the excitement is nearly unbearable.

This is better than I could’ve ever dreamed.

In less than a minute, Appa was touching down just a few feet in front of me and I could see everyone on his back. Suki is the first to climb down and, like you read about in an old romance novel, we ran to each other. If it’s possible, I hugged her even more tightly than I had Aang.

She had grown a bit and, upon breaking away from her hug, I realized everyone had. Moving from her to Katara, from Katara to Sokka, and from Sokka to Toph, I stop in front of Zuko. There’s only a moment’s hesitation before we hug each other just like everyone else. He lingers for an extra moment, but I pay it no mind as I turn back to everyone.

With the stupidest smile still plastered on my face, the only thing I can think to say is, “Are all of you taller than me now?” Everyone laughs and it feels like my heart is almost going to explode out of my chest.

As if remembering I wasn’t alone on the beach, I suddenly exclaim “Oh, there are some people I’d like you all to meet!”

Holding Suki and Katara’s hands, I pull everyone over to where the rest of my new friends were sitting, food having been long forgotten.

“Guys, these are all of the friends I’ve told you so much about. Um,” I turn to look at everyone before I start going down the list. “Okay so Sokka is the one with the stupid pony tail-”

“It’s a warrior’s wolf tail!” Sokka interrupts.

I quickly jump back in, “Whatever. The tall angsty one is Zuko. The bald one with tattoos is Aang. The one with the hair in her face is Toph. Miss hair loopies here is Katara and, well she’s not in her warrior makeup right now but the last one here is Suki.”

Everyone nods with wide eyes, clearly trying to take it all in.

Turning to face the Gaang, I say, “Okay, so now let me introduce you to my new friends. Okay so our bald one is Connie. The one with the long face like an ostrich horse is Jean-”

I’m interrupted by Jean mumbling, “I don’t think I like this game.”

I merely roll my eyes before continuing, “The blond one with big blue eyes is Armin. Big green eyes is Eren. The girl that’s fiercely protective of them both is Mikasa. The…” I pause, noticing Sasha munching on what looks like a potato. “The one that is literally always eating something is Sasha. Then the grumpy one is Levi and the one that looks like she has maybe never showered in her entire life but also just railed some cocaine is Hange.”

Under his breath, Zuko makes a snide comment. “I thought you came out here to be away from people.”

Getting mildly annoyed with his already present attitude, I say somewhat forcefully, “For your information, I didn’t see a single other person for the better part of two years. I only met them a few months ago because they did a mission in the forrest I was living in.”

To this, I’m met with some rather confused faces. Sokka finally speaks up and asks, “Mission?”

My face lights up with realization and before trying to explain where we are, I take this moment as an opportunity. “Ya know, just to prove a point, where is it that you think we are right now?”

This further confuses them, but ultimately they humor me and say the Eastern shore of the Earth Kingdom.

Feeling vindicated, I look to my squad and say, “See! Told ya so!”

Sokka presses further, “What do you mean ‘mission?’ And what, are we not on the shore of the Earth Kingdom.”

“No, we aren’t. Why don’t you guys sit down, I have a lot to talk about to get you up to speed.”

I spend the next 30 minutes or so explaining where we are. I explain what titans are, the walls, and how they didn’t think there was any humanity alive outside of the walls until recently. As I finish my explanation with Hange jumping in every so often to cover something I might have missed, I end by saying, “And because of all of this, I genuinely thought I’d never see any of you again.”

They all look at me with some variation of sadness, surprise, or confusion on their faces. I continue, “Well, I only got out here via Appa and when I was dropped off we thought I was between the Outter and Inner walls of Ba Sing Se. The four nations don’t know about this place and, until recently, they didn’t know there was more life outside of their island, let alone our entire corner of the world existing so it’s not like they have readily available transportation. Even if I wanted to go back, there was no way for me to get there. It’s really lucky that you guys came by today honestly because this is the first time any of them have ever even seen the ocean.”

Now everyone is overcome with downright bewilderment. Naturally, it’s Katara that says, “You’ve never seen the ocean?!”

Hange responds with a shrug. “It’s illegal for normal civilians to go outside of the walls and we’ve never done a Scouting mission out this far before.”

Silence falls over everyone as they try to process everything. I break the quiet. “Lot to take in, huh?”

Everyone just nods.

We sit for another moment before I ask, “So, what brings you guys out here?”

Sokka responds as if I’m the dumbest person he’s ever met. “You, obviously.”

Rolling my eyes I say, “Well, ya, I got that much. But, like, why?”

Suki chimes in and says, “We just really missed you, y/n.”

I smile and hug her, waiting a beat before I ask again. “I missed you guys too. But…why are you actually here?”

Everyone, both old friends and new look at me as I sit with a knowing smile. Suki responds again and says, “Like I said, we missed you.”

I sigh before stating the obvious. “And I believe that, but let’s all be honest with ourselves here. All of the four nations most important and powerful people didn’t just all decide after two years to take a fun little vacation to see an old friend. You can’t all just abandon ship together that easily. Unless there’s a good reason. So, spit it out. Why are you actually here?”

I can tell by the discomfort in the air that I was onto something. After a long beat, Aang quietly says, “We want you to come home, y/n.”

I raise an eyebrow and lean forward. “You really want me to believe all six of you came together to convince me to come back? I’m sorry, but I don’t buy that. And after over two years, why now? Y’all could’ve just sent one or two people out to find me. So come on, spill.”

In typical Toph fashion, she’s the one to deliver the news bluntly. “Azula escaped.”

Now it’s my turn to be confused. “What?!”

Sokka quickly starts, “We can explain how it happened! We-”

I hold up my hand to stop him. Shaking my head, I say, “What do you mean escaped? Escaped a casket? Last I checked she was dead because I killed her.”

Everyone’s faces go blank. The longer we sit there looking at each other, the more upset I get. Finally, Sokka punches Zuko in the arm which seems to kick start him. “So um, yeah. About that…” He rubs his neck as awkward as ever.

“I’m waiting.” Now I’m getting aggravated.

“So, yeah. She, uh, didn’t…she didn’t exactly die during the comet.”

I heave a large sigh. “And is there a reason why no one thought to tell me this?”

Another long pause. It’s Aang that speaks this time. “I guess none of us really realized that you didn’t know.”

I sigh again and pinch the bridge of my nose. Without looking up, I say, “Alright, so when and how did she break out of prison?”

Katara looks at Zuko and says, “Yeah, Zuko. Why don’t you tell her how Azula broke out of prison.”

Her emphasis and venom make me look back up and at Zuko again. He put his head in his hands for a moment before taking a deep breath and looking me in the eye again. “So, she actually wasn’t in prison. She was in an assylum and was confined to a straight jacket and under constant supervision.”

I scoff. “Clearly not constant enough if she could get out.”

Sarcasm dripping from her voice, Katara says, “Oh, the assylum wasn’t the problem. The problem is that Zuko needed her to go find his mother and so she came with us. And that is when she escaped.”

I’m absolutely flabbergasted. I just stare at him slackjawed and wait for an explanation. Seemingly feeling my expectancy, he throws his hands up in defense and says, “She had information on my mom’s location and wouldn’t give it to me if I didn’t bring her along!”

“So you thought it was a good idea to take the strongest firebender in the world who just so happens to also be absolutely psychotic on a fun little adventure?!”

“What was I supposed to do?!” Zuko yells back, his temper flaring up.

Not wanting to deal with it, I run my hands through my hair. Calming down, I say, “So what? You need my help tracking her down? I don’t really understand what I’d be able to provide you that you can’t already access on your own.”

Aang responds before Zuko can. “Well, we’ve tried to find her to varying degrees of success. Finding her wasn’t necessarily the problem for the first little while. She was inserting herself anywhere and everywhere she could to try to influence Zuko. But recently it’s like she’s completely vanished.”

Resignation in his voice, Zuko adds, “The last time I saw her.she told me something along the lines of knowing that her destiny wasn’t to take the throne herself but to make me into the kind of Fire Lord she would have been. That was a couple of months ago and she’s just been gone. There have been one or two sightings of her in the Earth Kingdom, but nothing concrete.”

That’s when realization dawns on me and the weight of it forces me to sit back.

Observant as always, it’s Levi that asks, “What is it y/n?”

Sighing again and looking towards the sky, I say, “The reason she’s gone quiet isn’t because the bloodlust is gone, it’s that she’s shifted targets. You want me to come back because I’m her target.”

With noticeable fear in his voice, Connie asks, “What? Why you?”

Looking at him, I say, “Just like I thought I had killed her, I’m guessing she thought she had killed me. She must’ve figured out that I’m still alive somehow. I’m sort of the one that got away.”

Turning back to the Gaang, I say, “But what would bringing me back help? Since I’m not actually in the Earth Kingdom, isn’t it safer for me to be out here? As long as she doesn’t know where I am it’ll keep her quiet. Seems like the best case scenario, no?”

Sokka shakes his head. “If you found this place, it’s only a matter of time until she checks this direction. And if she does-”

“I’d be on my own against her.” Defeat fills my voice as I finish his thought and bite my lip.

Eren pipes up next. “You wouldn’t be on your own, you have all of us.”

Everyone nods enthusiastically in agreement with Eren, and I smile sadly but shake my head. “You guys are very talented and well equipped against titans, but that’s really close-up combat. You have to make contact to fight a titan. Bending is an entirely different style of fighting. It’s long range. Firearms would be functional, but they don’t provide any kind of defense against a bender, especially someone like Azula. Unless you’re trained against benders, you’d be sitting ducks.”

When Hange speaks up, there’s a clear sadness in her voice that she’s trying to hide. “So does that mean you’re going to go back then?”

Without even having to think about it, I shake my head. Addressing the Gaang but still answering Hange, I say, “No, I’m not going to leave. I can’t. I’m the first bender they’ve ever seen, and chances are it’s the same for their enemies. I can really help here. Plus,” I glance at the kids, Levi, and Hange to give them a quick smile before returning my gaze to the Gaang. “I really like it here. You said that you want me to come “home” but this is the closest I’ve felt to having a home since I was a kid. Especially now that you know exactly where I am so I know I’ll be able to see you again in the future. I want to stay here.”

They’re clearly disappointed, but I can tell almost all of them seem to understand. Zuko is the only one to counter. “Well, there’s a few events happening soon to commemorate the 3rd anniversary of the end of the war. You could come to one being held in Ba Sing Se where we make it clear that you’re ‘back’ so that we can sort of draw her out for the event being held at the palace in the Fire Nation. Then we can bring you back here.”

Thinking about it for a moment, I eventually shrug and nod, saying, “Yeah, I don’t see a problem with that plan.”

Someone else did see a problem with it, though.

“Are you suggesting to use y/n as bait?” Levi says angrily.

I answer for everyone. “More or less, yeah. But we’ll be prepared so it’ll be a lot less dangerous than it sounds.”

We all sit with this idea for a moment when I come up with an idea of my own. Completely lighting up, I say, “I’ll agree to this under one condition.”

They all nod and Zuko even adds, “Anything.”

I grin at my Scout friends before looking at the Gaang and saying, “I want them to be able to come.”

I can feel the shock radiating off of the people to my right and the confusion rolling off of the people to my left, so I further explain, “Today is the first time they’ve ever even seen the ocean. I think it would be a really great experience for them to see more of the world, especially since I’ve talked so much about our world.”

Despite having just said they’d do “anything” I asked, Zuko sounds angry at my proposal. “Didn’t you just finish saying how useless they are?”

I huff a little and lean forward with my elbows on my knees. “Did you listen to anything I said? No, I didn’t say they are ‘useless.’ I also didn’t just ask to bring them for fighting reasons. Like I said, they didn’t even know the world existed so I want to be able to give them a chance to see and experience new things.”

This shuts Zuko up for the time being and there’s an extended silence as I can tell the Gaang is mulling it over. As we wait for someone to say something, I can feel the kids almost vibrating with anticipation.

Wanting to give them a moment, I squeeze Katara’s hand and announce, “While y’all think it over, Katara and I are going to go bend a little.” Turning to Hange, I add, “And you’re welcome to come observe the both of us together if you’d like.”

Hange’s squeal practically breaks my eardrums, but I can’t resent her happiness.

So Katara and I walk hand-in-hand into the water with Suki joining us for conversation and all of the Scouts not far behind.

I pick up a ball of water and begin passing it back and forth absentmindedly with Katara.

Finally an opportunity to really catch up!

Looking at both she and Suki, I say, “Soooooooo, how are both of your relationships?”

They giggle and start telling me how Suki and Sokka are mostly long-distance because of their respective responsibilities to the Kyoshi warriors and the Southern Watertribe. Katara is able to travel almost everywhere with Aang and most recently they had been to the Southern Watertribe together.

On that topic, Katara starts explaining, “You’ve gotta see it y/n! I know you never saw it before, but it’s being built up a lot and honestly has a strong resemblance to the Northern Watertribe. It’s not my favorite thing, but I think you might like it.”

I switch up the move and splash her to which she throws a water whip at me and I have to dive out of the way. We playfully go back and forth for a moment before going back to our original game.

Now, it’s Suki’s turn to ask for an update. “And what about you? Anyone here suit your fancy?”

I actually laugh hard enough that I drop the water. Picking it up again, I say, “Not hardly! Did you see them? They’re all children!”

Katara scoffs and says, “What are you talking about, they’re roughly our age!”

Without hesitation I say, “Exactly!”

She splashes me again so I continue. “They’re 15 like Aang and Toph, and that’s fine for you because you’re 16. I’m 20 years old, that would make me a downright predator if I was even interested in those literal children.”

Both girls laugh and Katara says, “Alright, alright. Point taken. That grumpy one seems older though. What did you say his name was, Levi?”

Before I can answer Suki chimes in with an eyebrow wiggle and says, “And grumpy is your type.”

Katara laughs and I smack Suki with a wave, unamused by her little joke. “I just barely got to a point where I don’t think Levi hates me, let alone dating.”

Both of them get excited and Suki says, “So you’ve thought about it! You’ve got a cruuuuussshhhh!”

This time I freeze her legs and knock her over. Seeing as we’re not even in to our knees, I knew she’d be just fine. I retort, “I did not say that. He’s fuckin insufferable! Like I said, we’re just barely to the point of being friends.”

Wisely, they both drop the subject although I can tell that’s not the end of the harassment.

As if he knew he were being talked about, Levi calls out to us. “Oi! Y/n! We need to start heading back to the walls soon!”

I nod and the three of us wade back in. Approaching our little forgotten picnic, I put my hands on Sokka’s shoulders and say, “Well kids, whatcha think?”

Sokka cranes his neck back to look at me upside down and from this angle his goofy smile looks even funnier. “We think that yes, it would be nice to show them our section of the world.”

The kids’ cheers are enough to make me grin from ear to ear and I have to stop myself from laughing when they quickly try to hide their excitement.

Zuko’s addition is much less animated. “But we keep them a secret. No one will know they’re from some strange new world, especially since you’ll be coming back to this world.”

Aang speaks next. “And it can’t be immediately because Appa can’t carry that many people. So, what we’re going to do is we’re all going to follow you back to your base on Appa so that we know where to come back to. Tomorrow morning we’ll all head back to the Fire Nation and then Sokka can take an airship back here to pick you all up while the rest of us go to the Earth Kingdom a little early. Deal?”

I’m practically bouncing at this point and without even looking at the kids I can tell they are too.

“Deal!” I say as I throw my arms around Aang and Sokka. The kids stop holding back and they all break out into unrestrained screams of joy and cheers. I swear I can see the faintest hint of a smile on Levi’s face and Hange is grinning like I haven’t seen her do since we took back Wall Maria.

“While you guys fly back, I want to stay here with y/n!” Suki states.

“Me too!” Katara says.

“Me three!” Toph adds.

With that, I look to Hange for approval. Some of the joy leaves her face as she says, “Sure. I mean, we have plenty of beds…”

Melancholy sweeps through us and even though they don’t know what happened, the Gaang notice as well and go quiet in observance of the moment.

Levi breaks the tension with one of his crude jokes, saying “No one will be sleeping in a bed tonight if we don’t move our asses.”

This elicits a few chuckles and we jump into collecting our things.

Climbing the dune to head to the horses I hear a bit of a screech from Sokka and gasps from the others.

Sokka yelps, “What the fuck is that?!”

When I follow his gaze, I laugh when I realize he’s looking at the horses.

“So those are horses. They have different animals than we do even though they all have very similar names. They make fun of me anytime I say something like ‘monkey feathers’ or ‘flying hog monkies.’”

Not caring about my description at all, Sokka says, “well do they eat people?! Because they look like they eat people.”

Now everyone is laughing and Jean makes the comment, “Wow, he makes you look brave y/n!”

This garners further laughter as I glare at him. Turning back to Sokka, I firmly state, “No, they do not eat people. They’re very nice creatures, actually.”

As we all mount our horses and the Gaang climbs onto Appa, I turn to say one more thing before we take off. “We didn’t see any titans on the way here but there’s always a chance we will. If I yell for you to go up, do it. And don’t come back down until I wave for you to do so, understood?”

At this, they’re clearly all concerned but reluctantly agree.

With that, we take off towards home with the Gaang flying low and trailing behind us.

It was such an easy ride out here, hopefully it will be just as easy going back.

We ride for a long time with no hiccups before we come upon the first gate. Looking back at the Gaang, I motion for them to fly up and over and they do so. We meet them on the other side and continue on.

However, the grounds of Wall Maria hadn’t been swept yet and it was possible there could still be titans so we couldn’t let our guard down.

We can’t quite see Wall Rose in the distance yet, but it’s coming up soon and we should be able to any minute. Not a single titan!

No sooner had I thought optimistically than Sasha was calling from the left flank that there are titans coming straight for us.

Fuck, I jinxed it.

As Hange starts giving orders, I fall back a little to talk to the Gaang. “Go up, now! No matter what happens, do not come back down until I wave at you. Go!”

I don’t wait for a response as I take off in the direction of the titans. As I ride I start gathering as much water as I can from the grass and the dirt. Passing everyone, I slice clean through one titan’s ankles before making a sheet of ice to knock another one off of its feet. Jean finishes the first one and Sasha and Connie tag team the second. As Levi and Mikasa take down a couple more, we’re only left with a few on their feet. I swing from one to the next, completely decapitating each titan as I use its neck as an anchor.

We don’t see any more approaching, so just as quickly as we had seen them approach they were taken care of. I look to the sky and wave both of my arms at the Gaang signaling to them that it’s safe for them to come back down.

As we ride for a moment, they hover next to us and Sokka yells, “Were those the titans you were telling us about?”

Calling back to him, I say, “Yeah, and unlike the horses they do eat people.”

As we finish our conversation, Wall Rose comes into view. As we went through the gate, we told the Garrison not to worry about Appa, and the Gaang flew up high enough as to be mostly undetected by the people on the ground. The ride back to the base wasn’t direct because we wanted to go however we needed to alert the fewest people to our guests. Even with our roundabout path, it didn’t take long to make it back to the stables. As we put our horses back in their stalls, I heard Appa landing outside.

As everyone gets off, it’s actually Hange that says, “So, how about a tour since this is your only night in town?”

I grin as she starts showing my friends around. My two worlds were colliding and I couldn’t be happier.

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acacia-may · 1 year ago

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There Is Happiness (OMORI Kelbrey Fanfiction)

Description: Aubrey hadn’t always been this way. She could still remember a younger, less jaded version of herself who was actually excited about the idea of prom. A happier Aubrey who had used to giggle with Mari over the gowns in store catalogs and dream about all of her friends getting dressed up and going dancing together one day. A more innocent Aubrey who used to spend hours making plans for a future that would never get to happen. Her friends never got to go to a prom, and neither did she…Until now that is...

Nearly a decade after the bad ending of OMORI, Kel and Hero plan a fake "prom" to surprise Sally, drudging up bittersweet memories for Aubrey about her friends--both the ones she had lost and, especially, the ones, who like her, had been left behind to pick up the pieces. Will confronting the past lead her to a brighter future?

Kelbrey Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort, & How Their (Functional) Relationship Developed Over Time After the Bad Ending of OMORI. (Note: This is a standalone one shot that is a completely different bad end AU than my other really angsty bad end AU fic).

Relationships: KELBREY (Romantic Kel x Aubrey) CENTRIC (Functional, Healthy, Slow Burn Kelbrey). There are also important platonic friendships discussed & depicted in flashbacks: Aubrey & Hero & Kel friendship, Aubrey & Kel & Sally friendship, Aubrey & Mari friendship, Aubrey & Kel & Sunny & Basil & Hero & Mari friendship [Aubrey & Kel's friendships with Basil, Sunny, & Mari are a recurring & important theme]. Past Romantic Hero x Mari is referenced/heavily implied.

Characters: Aubrey (POV Character), Kel, Hero, Sally, and Mari (Sunny & Basil also appear briefly and are mentioned).

Genre: Slow Burn Romance, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Developing Romance Through the Years, Angst With A Hopeful Ending, Post-Bad Ending, Many Flashback Sequences, Prom

Word Count: 12,748

Rating: T for some heavy themes and thematic elements (i.e. grief & healing from grief and trauma. Implied/Referenced Canonical Character Death & Implied/Referenced Mental Health Issues including depression & suicide).

Warnings: Major Spoilers for OMORI! Heavy themes and thematic elements (i.e. grief & healing from grief and trauma. Implied/Referenced Canonical Character Death & Implied/Referenced Mental Health Issues including depression & suicide). Kissing.

Link to original post on AO3. Please do not repost to another website.

A/N: Unfortunately, I missed Kelbrey Week because I did not know the ship even existed at the time (and had never played OMORI back in the dark ages of a couple of months ago), but I saw the prompts on Tumblr and was really inspired by the Prom prompt. Not only did the idea of "Kelbrey Prom" get a bunch of wheels turning in my brain, it also just so happened to be the prompt on my birthday, so I felt like it was it was just meant to be and I needed to write this story as soon as I had the idea. So I just wanted to offer a word of many, many thanks to @kelbreyweek for the prompt & inspiration for this story. 💕

Story below the cut. Thank you for reading!

Aubrey slammed her foot on the brake. She had lived in Faraway Town her whole life and still forgot about that stop sign. She probably always would.

The intersection was bustling today, and there was far more traffic than usual for a Saturday night. Aubrey supposed that was to be expected seeing as it was their local high school’s prom tonight, and the streets and sidewalks were filled with gussied-up teenagers in suits and poofy, colorful dresses. Aubrey rolled her eyes, conveniently ignoring the fact that she was in a pink prom dress herself—but at the very least it wasn’t that poofy.

Aubrey didn’t understand all the prom hype, especially now that she was trying to drive with teens darting in and out of the road and the straps of her dress uncomfortably digging into her arms whenever she tried to turn her steering wheel. She sighed. She sounded like such a grouchy old woman.

She hadn’t always been like that. The memories were hazy now, but she could still remember a younger less weathered, less jaded version of herself who was actually excited about the idea of prom.

*-*-*

“They’re so lucky,” sighed Aubrey glancing up from her pizza to watch the group of teenagers who had just walked into Gino’s dressed up in their finest suits and prettiest dresses for the prom.

Mari chuckled but patted her shoulder. “Don’t worry. That’ll be you too soon enough.”

“It’ll be you sooner,” Aubrey insisted with a widening smile. “You’ll get to go in just a couple of years, right?” She paused, then giggled teasingly. “With Hero.”

Hero’s face flushed, and he grew suddenly interested in his piece of pizza. Mari’s expression softened—something affectionate passing over her eyes as she chuckled at him behind her hand. She shrugged her shoulders then teased, “I don’t know. I might have to think about it,” but she winked at him and the blush in his cheeks deepened.

“Why do you even need a date to the prom anyway? Can’t you just go with your friends?” asked Kel as he practically shoveled pizza into his mouth.

Aubrey rolled her eyes and huffed. “Don’t talk with food in your mouth. It’s so gross.”

“You’re gross,” bantered Kel, sticking his tongue out at her before shoving the rest of his piece of pizza into his mouth.

Aubrey huffed again, but Hero gently interrupted changing the subject. “I think people do go to prom in groups with their friends. You don’t have to take a date like in the movies.” He paused before turning to his brother with a dry, bantering smile. “But if you want someone to take you, I’m sure Kel can.”

“No way! I’m not going to the prom with her. Basil can take her.”

“Wha—what? Why me?” stumbled Basil, bright red in the face.

“Because they always have those flower bracelets at the prom in the movies and you know all about flowers and stuff.”

“That’s called a corsage, moron,” bantered Aubrey. “And don’t worry, I’d rather go to prom with Hector than you.”

With a confused tilt of his head, Kel blinked at her. “Can we take dogs to prom? Awesome!” Kel beamed, and Aubrey rolled her eyes. “I’ll take Hector then, and Basil can take Aubrey.”

Basil’s blush deepened as he twisted his hands. “Well…um…I mean…” He paused, swallowing hard. “Well…maybe Sunny can take you…? He’s probably better at dancing.”

“Sunny will take you,” agreed Mari with a warm smile. “Won’t you, Sunny?”

Sunny pursued his lips together and pensively stared at his hands. Aubrey wasn’t sure but his face seemed a little more flushed than usual. He finally nodded briskly and quietly said, “Okay” though he wouldn’t look up from his plate.

Mari’s smile widened, and she chuckled. “See, problem solved.”

“I don’t understand why we can’t just all go to prom together,” sighed Kel. “You, me, Sunny, Basil, and Hector, and Hero and Mari too even though they’ll be older. We can all just go as friends.”

“That sounds nice,” said Sunny so quietly he was difficult to hear over the low roar and ruckus of the restaurant patrons.

“See!” exclaimed Kel triumphantly. “Sunny agrees with me. We should all just plan to go together as friends.”

“You might change your mind when you get older, Kel,” teased Hero with a dry but affectionate smile. Kel grimaced, sticking his tongue out at his older brother.

“No way!” He huffed then turned to Basil. “You think this sounds like a good idea, right Basil?”

“Wha—what? Oh…uh…yeah okay…” he stammered unsurely.

“Aubrey?”

Kel crossed his arms and glared at her, but Aubrey sighed and conceded, “Alright, but only because Sunny likes the idea. It might be nice for all of us to go as friends, but if I get a date, he’s coming with us too, okay?”

Mari started laughing behind her hand as Kel exaggeratedly rolled his eyes and huffed, “Whatever.”

*-*-*

A bittersweet smile tugged at Aubrey’s mouth. How silly they were then—how innocent. There was a pang in her chest, even now, so many years later as she remembered how they had spent hours together talking and laughing—making plans for a future that would never get to happen. She remembered how she used to giggle with Mari over the evening gowns in department store catalogs, sighing wistfully at the billboards advertising that year’s prom theme at the local high school, and dreaming of the day they’d get to go to one themselves. Aubrey’s chest ached as she sighed. Mari never got to go to a prom, and neither did she…

*-*-*

Tears prickled in Aubrey’s eyes as she glanced over the unworn prom dress still hanging up on the back of the closet door. She would probably feel better if she just shoved it into the back of her closet, but she couldn’t bring herself to. She had worked so hard for that dress—picking up extra shifts at Gino’s to afford such a luxury. She had justified it by reminding herself it was probably the only time in her life that she would get to wear such a dress, and this one was exactly what she had always dreamed: deep pink, floor-length chiffon. As soon as she saw it in the department store, a real, genuine smile had tugged at her mouth for the first time in so long that the sensation had felt almost foreign to her. And when she had finally bought the dress and tried it on for her friends to see, Charlene had quietly said she looked happy in it. She didn’t need to add that Aubrey hadn’t looked happy for a very long time.

A tear streamed down Aubrey’s cheek. She had wanted to wear that dress and go to the prom, but she just couldn’t—not today. Not now. Not without them.

Aubrey sniffled—rubbing her hand across her throbbing forehead. Her headache was so severe that she was actually starting to hear the pounding of her head. Or at least she thought she was until her mother called in a slurred, irritated voice,

“Aubrey! Get the door.”

Aubrey quickly wiped her eyes and scurried downstairs.

“Tell them whatever they’re selling we don’t want it,” her mother added with a dismissive wave of her hand as Aubrey walked by the couch carefully tiptoeing around the empty liquor bottles which littered the ground.

Aubrey wasn’t sure who was at their front door, but she doubted a salesman would be bothering them at this time of night. Still she mumbled, “Okay” as she turned the bolts of the lock and opened the door.

“Hey, Aubrey,” said Kel with a slight wave of his hand and a friendly smile. “How’s it going?”

Aubrey could only blink at him. He was dressed in a nice, dark suit with an unexpected bright pink tie. If she had been feeling better, she probably would’ve thought of a dry quip to tease him about it but instead she just sighed, ushering him out onto the porch before her mother got irritated by the noise.

“Kel, what are you doing here?” she asked through her teeth. “Aren’t you supposed to be at prom?”

Kel shrugged. “I was there for a while, but you weren’t there so I thought I’d come check on you.”

“Sorry…”—Aubrey’s face flushed—“I tried to call you…”

“I know,” he interrupted. “I got your message. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just…I…uh…wasn’t feeling up to it.” Aubrey sighed, hoping that Kel wouldn’t read too much into it.

“Oh…are you feeling sick? The pharmacy should still be open. I can run down to—”

“No, Kel,” she cut him off, placing her hand on his arm. “That is…uh…I’m fine. You should go back to the prom. I don’t want to ruin your night.”

Kel’s expression softened, and he smiled at her. “Don’t worry about it. The prom was kind of boring without you anyway.” He paused. “You sure you don’t want to—?”

“Yeah,” she cut him off just a little too forcefully, trying her best to frown despite her flushed face.

“Okay…” he said quietly. “Then…do you mind if I hang out here for a little while?”

Aubrey’s face grew warm with guilt and embarrassment. Just because she had ruined her own night didn’t mean she had to ruin Kel’s as well. “You really don’t have to do that.”

“Nah. I want to. I’d rather spend tonight with you than at the dumb prom anyway.”

“Kel, I can’t let you do that,” she insisted, but he smiled at her.

“It’s just a bunch of people dancing and stuff—and sure that’s fun and all but it’s not as cool as everyone acts like it is.” He shrugged his shoulders. “They did hang all these Christmas lights from the ceiling though and that was kinda cool—since the theme is ‘A Night Under the Stars.’” Sighing, Kel took a seat on the porch—leaning back on his hands and looking up at the sky. “But there are real stars out here which are better anyway.”

“Kel…” Aubrey began to argue, but she wasn’t sure what to say. “You can’t just miss your prom.”

“Sure I can,” he shrugged with matter-of-fact nonchalance. “You are, aren’t you? And the prom always mattered way more to you. You were really looking forward to it…” Kel’s brow furrowed thoughtfully. “Did someone break your heart or something so you didn’t want to come anymore?”

Aubrey stifled a breathy chuckle but shook her head. “No. Nothing like that. I wasn’t even planning on going with a date.” She paused, glancing over at Kel’s pink tie. “Won’t your date be upset that you left?”

“Oh uh…” chuckled Kel awkwardly, fidgeting with his tie. “I didn’t go with one.”

“Really?” The question slipped out before Aubrey could think to stop it, but Kel just shrugged his shoulders.

“Yep.” He paused and sheepishly scratched the back of his neck. “To tell you the truth, I—I kind of wanted to ask this one girl, but it didn’t work out. Oh well…”

Aubrey paused. While he was one of her best friends, they never really discussed their love lives or lack thereof. She didn’t even know Kel was romantically interested in anyone and couldn’t even begin to guess who it was. She supposed it was none of her business, but if Kel had left prom early because of this girl rather than just to check on her, it would certainly help her feel better about things.

“Is she the reason you left?” asked Aubrey taking a seat next to him on the porch.

Kel froze, and his cheeks flushed. “Wha—what?” he stumbled, more awkward than she ever would’ve expected from the happy-go-lucky Kel. He chuckled lightly but didn’t say no.

“It’s okay if she is. I wasn’t going to tease you or anything. I just—” She stopped. “I just don’t want to you miss out,” she said in a shaky voice. “Especially not because of me.”

“I already said don’t worry about it. I’d rather spend prom night with you, even if we don’t actually go to the prom.” Aubrey’s mouth twitched, she could almost hear the smile in his voice, but she frowned with a heavy sigh.

“But you already missed the last one…”

“Because Basil—” Kel’s voice cracked. He didn’t finish that statement, but he didn’t have to. Basil had died just a few weeks before their Junior Prom and the last thing either of them had wanted to do was go to some big party, especially one that Basil should have been attending himself, and instead they had spent prom night at the spot in the park where they had always had picnics with their friends, then sitting around Kel’s kitchen table looking through Basil’s old photo albums.

Aubrey had never told Kel that she had been considering skipping prom months before Basil’s death anyway, too saddened by the idea of having to go without Sunny and of Mari having never been able to go to hers. Basil’s death and the note he left behind for them was the final straw. She wouldn’t have blamed Kel if he had still wanted to go himself, but he had told her he was just too sad. She could understand that. Back then, it really felt like neither of them would ever be happy again.

But this year… she had been so determined, so set on going and trying to have to good time because she knew her friends wouldn’t want her to miss out on it on their account. Aubrey’s insides twisted, and her eyes burned, tears prickling behind them again.

“Aubrey?” When she turned to look at him, the faint flush of red had faded from his cheeks and his expression had softened but a look of concern quickly passed over his eyes. “Have you been crying?”

Aubrey’s face grew hot, and she swallowed hard as she frantically swiped at her eyes again. How red and puffy were they that Kel had noticed? “You can’t just ask someone that, Kel,” she replied with a shaky, bantering huff, but Kel only blinked at her.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, and Aubrey bit her lip. She couldn’t believe him—skipping over the ‘are you sure you’re okay?’ questions and straight to the ‘do you want to talk?’ Aubrey sighed though she felt a blush fill her cheeks and she fidgeted. She should probably expect it by now, given how many deep conversations she and Kel had been having over the past two years ever since Sunny and Basil had passed away. Her chest ached at the thought. Kel was giving her that look now—like he could see right through her, knew something was wrong and knew she was hurting even if she didn’t have the words to say it. She could see his pain too—that hollowness that crept into his smiles, that bittersweet sadness in his eyes. Kel’s eyes reflected the same pain that ached in her chest whenever she thought of Mari or Sunny or Basil. She was sure he could see his own grief in her as well, and perhaps that’s what had led them to find each other in the first place, in the wake of the loss of their friends—clinging to each other like two lost souls, sharing things with each other they could never even begin to tell anyone else.

“You can talk to me,” he gently encouraged her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.

Aubrey took a deep breath. She didn’t know if she wanted to unpack this, and she certainly didn’t want to dump it all onto Kel. She already felt guilty enough that he had left the prom to check up on her. But the look on Kel’s face was so warm and so kind, and the words, the painful truth was eating away at her waiting to be told to someone.

“You remember how we’d all promised we’d go to prom together someday?”

Kel’s brow furrowed. “Not really, but my memories of everyone are getting fuzzy…” There was a painful sadness cutting through his words as he said them.

“It’s okay. It wasn’t a big moment or anything. We were just at Gino’s joking around about it once, after a group of teenagers dressed for prom came in.” She paused. “You said you wanted to bring your dog.”

“Oh yeah…” said Kel with the slight twitch of a smile. “I remember that now. Mari was teasing Hero about taking her someday, and Sunny agreed with me that it would be nice if all of us could go together as friends.” Sighing, Kel paused—something bittersweet passing over his eyes. “You’re sad you couldn’t go with them, aren’t you?”

It wasn’t really a question.

Aubrey sniffled and nodded, and Kel cut her off reaching out to her. “Oh Aubrey, I…”

“It’s not just that. I was actually planning on going. I wanted to go. I bought a dress and everything. I knew it was going to be a hard day, but I was determined to do this. I knew they wouldn’t want me to miss out—would’ve wanted to me to go, even if I was sad they couldn’t be there with me.” Her voice cracked, and Kel nodded solemnly, understandingly.

“But…but…” she stumbled over her words as her eyes burned. “I was out of hairspray and knew I needed some for tonight, so I was riding my bike down to The Other Mart, and I saw there was a group of kids in the park and…” The tears started to pool in Aubrey’s eyes, and she took a deep, shaky breath, barely managing to choke out, “They were making flower crowns…”

She swiped at the tears that began to splash down her cheeks as she stumbled in the bits and pieces of sentences she could manage despite the panging ache in her chest, “I just—I just froze. I…I couldn’t stop thinking about…I turned around and came straight home and I just haven’t been able to stop crying…” She sniffled, wiping her eyes. “I know it’s so silly…to let something like that ruin my whole day, especially when it’s the prom, but I just started thinking about them and how they never got to go to prom and all the things they never got to do and will never get to do and…” Her voice trailed, as her words got choked by a sob in the back of her throat.

“I know,” sighed Kel quietly, giving her a reassuring pat on the back and pulling her into a hug. Aubrey took a few deep shaky breaths as she pressed her chin to Kel’s shoulder.

“It’s so stupid…” she mumbled, angry with herself as she pulled away from him.

“It’s not stupid at all.” He sighed heavily. “You know the other day I was supposed to be picking up a couple of groceries for my mom, and I was in that aisle in The Other Mart where they keep all the soups and sauces and stuff, and there was this lady there with her kids and the one kid dropped this big jar of spaghetti sauce—made a huge mess”—he paused as his breath hitched—”And I remembered that time we all tried to make spaghetti to surprise Hero, and I dropped the jar on the counter and the sauce splattered everywhere—it got in Basil’s hair and… Sunny was blinking at me with sauce all over his face and you were so mad but Mari just laughed…” He paused, swallowing hard. “It was like I couldn’t breathe. I ran out of there—totally forgot about the groceries.”

“Kel…” Aubrey began as she hugged him more tightly.

“I guess the moral of the story is neither one of us should be going shopping at the Other Mart, huh?” Kel chuckled lightly, but he sniffled and Aubrey could feel his shoulders trembling like he was trying not to cry.

They just sat there holding each other for a long time. No words were spoken, but they didn’t have to be. They understood—shared this pain of being the ones left behind. Kel sniffled, and Aubrey wondered if he was crying. It wouldn’t be the first time he had cried in front of her, and she knew—they both probably knew—that it wouldn’t be the last.

“You know, sometimes I think, I’m okay,” Kel managed in a wavering voice. “I still miss them, of course, but I’m not going to just start crying in the grocery store…but then…something like that happens and I just…I don’t know if I’m ever going to be okay. Like there was this whole life that I had before, but it’s all over and now I have this new life and even if things get better and it doesn’t hurt as much all the time, that sadness is always going to be there. There’s always going to be something missing, and I’m never going to not miss them.”

Aubrey sniffled and pulled away from him to look in his face, but that deep, indescribable pain in his misty eyes made her forget her words. She supposed it didn’t really matter. There was nothing she could possibly say that would make him feel better—she knew that better than anyone.

“Sorry,” he said hurriedly as he wiped his tears away. “I didn’t mean to make this about me. I feel really bad for dumping all that on you, especially when you were already upset.”

“No. I’m…I’m glad you told me, Kel,” she said hugging him again. “It’s…nice to know I’m not the only one…”

“You’re definitely not the only one—but it really does feel like you and me against the world sometimes, right?”

A kind, bittersweet smile pulled at the corners of Aubrey’s mouth as Kel wrapped an arm around her and she leaned her head on his shoulder. “Sometimes.”

“Hero too, but…” Kel paused, fidgeting. Aubrey nodded in understanding. He didn’t have to explain. She knew Hero worried especially about his younger brother which made it more difficult to open up to him about all of this sometimes, plus he was away at school and neither one of them wanted to bother him, especially when he was suffering a lot on his own.

“He missed his prom, too, didn’t he?” asked Aubrey quietly, changing the subject. Kel hummed, and she could feel him nod in response.

“But it’s overrated anyway…”

*-*-*

Kel was probably right, and the prom was overrated. That didn’t mean that she didn’t have the occasional regret about not going to hers, however. It wasn’t something she ever really talked about, but if she didn’t know better she would have thought that the fact she had skipped out on hers was part of the reason that Kel had invited her over tonight for the “prom” he and Hero had been putting together to surprise their younger sister, Sally.

Even though Sally was far too young to go to a prom, she was fairly vocal about the fact that she desperately wanted to. Though Aubrey thought it was a little odd to throw a prom for a little kid, she supposed there was no harm to it, and it was sweet that Hero and Kel were always trying to do such nice things for their little sister. She had also offered to help put it all together though she reminded Kel that she had never actually been to a prom so what would she possibly know about it? He said it wasn’t anything too fancy, but still insisted they should all dress up nicely. Just luckily Aubrey had had her unused prom dress from her own senior prom still hanging up in the back of her closet collecting dust. She supposed it was nice to finally get the chance to wear it, even if that meant getting stuck in stop-and-go traffic for half an hour.

Aubrey sighed. There was never any traffic on the way to prom in the movies. The people just got into their car—or their limo—and whipped right to the school without another car on the road. It was more than little unfair. Though she supposed she should know better than thinking of movies, especially teen rom coms, as real life.

*-*-*

“Okay, okay. I know we watch this movie every year, but I still don’t understand: can everybody at this school afford a limo? And where do the limos go when they’re all at prom?” asked Kel between bites of what had to be his third or fourth piece of birthday cake. Hero had been apologizing profusely for the fact it was store bought this year, but they understood he was extremely busy in medical school. They tried to reassure him that Mari would understand too, but Aubrey wasn’t sure if he had believed them. “How do all the limos even fit in the parking lot?”

“I don’t know, Kel,” Aubrey sighed, setting her piece of cake on the coffee table. “Just don’t think about it too much.”

“Listen, I went to prom—well part of it, and nobody came in a limo. Nobody,” Kel insisted forcefully, gesturing emphatically at her with his fork and flinging cake and frosting onto her face.

Aubrey huffed. “Kel!”

“Oh, you’ve got something on your nose,” he teased before playing poking at it with his finger.

“Here’s some napkins,” said Hero, handing her a stack of napkins with that said ‘Happy Birthday’ surrounded by balloons.

“Thank you.” Aubrey nodded at Hero then rolled her eyes at Kel shaking her head, but his attention was transfixed on the movie again, probably still wondering about the limos.

Aubrey sighed. Every year they watched Mari’s favorite movie for her birthday, and every year Kel found something else about it that didn’t make sense to him. Last year, it was how nobody in the school had worn anything even close to the same outfit. The year before that it was how the main character who was supposed to be smart hadn’t ever questioned her love interest’s obviously complicated motivations in asking her to the prom in the first place. This year it was the limos.

Aubrey sometimes wondered if Kel had only started this tradition of chattering away during the movie in the hopes that it would keep her and Hero’s spirits up and prevent them from being too sad that Mari wasn’t there to celebrate her birthday with them. But other times—like now, when she watched him pick up his piece of cake with his hands and shove it into his mouth as the icing squished into his face, she thought it was probably more likely that it was just Kel being Kel.

A smile tugged her lips in spite of herself, but she pushed the thought away. She’d never admit that she was glad Kel was around to ask dumb questions about the movie, and as she watched the small smile in the corners of Hero’s mouth, she was sure he felt the same way.

When the credits began to roll, Hero started cleaning up the cake, plates, and napkins, and Kel started prattling away again. “Why do movies make prom into such a big deal, anyway? They act like it’s the most important thing that will ever happen to you.”

“Well…” Hero sighed, his brow furrowing thoughtfully. “I think they need a climatic moment for the story, and when the characters are teenagers, they can’t have a wedding or something like that so they use the prom.”

“It’s really not as cool as all that though. I was honestly kind of let down.” Kel’s mouth curved into a teasing, lopsided grin before he chuckled, seemingly getting distracted once again by his cake. “This cake was great, by the way!”

“You can thank Aubrey for that. She picked it up from Nona’s.”

Aubrey shrugged. “It’s no big deal. I was in there anyway.” She stopped, not quite ready to admit that she was in that bakery a lot. It was one of her favorite places in their college town, and she liked to treat herself with a pastry every now and again after exams, if she did well on them of course.

“Sorry I couldn’t make one this year…” Hero apologized again with red, apologetic cheeks. “Neuroanatomy is just kicking my tushie.”

Aubrey and Kel broke into raucous laughter. “Your tushie? Really, Hero?” teased Kel.

“What are you—five?” Aubrey bantered.

“You know what I mean,” sighed Hero. Though his cheeks were flushed, he was smiling in spite of himself. “Medical school is hard.” He sighed again. “I’m sure Aubrey understands being in nursing and all.”

“I’m glad I’m going to be a nurse and not a doctor—there’s too much memorizing. I’m not smart enough for that.”

“Don’t say that, Aubrey,” chimed Kel. “You and Hero are both super smart—you know all kinds of medical stuff. I could never do what you do.”

“Well I’m sure neither of us could ever do what you do either, Kel,” Aubrey insisted, and Hero nodded in agreement. “You can fix anything, and I wouldn’t even know what to do with a welding torch if my life depended on it.”

Kel chuckled his face brightening. “I can show you sometime if you want. It’s really not that hard.”

“Says the ‘Welder of the Year,’” bantered Aubrey.

“It was only ‘of the month,’ and…”

“I still have the newsletter hanging up on our refrigerator,” interjected Hero with a proud smile. Kel scratched the back of his neck as his face flushed.

“You can take that down, you know? It’s really not that big of a deal…” He sighed. “I only fix engines and stuff. I don’t save lives or anything like you guys.”

Aubrey sighed, shaking her head. “I’ve never saved a life.”

“I’ve barely even left my classroom,” said Hero. “So you’ve at least got one up on me. You’re in clinicals now, aren’t you?”

Aubrey nodded. “Yeah. I’m trying to get a job as a student nurse too. I just interviewed in behavioral health and psychiatry.”

She stopped abruptly as Kel and Hero’s eyes widened, a certain sadness in them that Aubrey had used to see all the time but which hadn’t been in their expressions in a while. A silence spread through the room, and Aubrey sighed, wishing she hadn’t mentioned it. She was about to apologize for bringing it up and ruining the mood of everyone’s evening, but then she felt an arm wrap around her shoulders and a gentle hand patting her back.

“That’s great, Aubrey,” said Kel with a kind smile and soft expression. “I hope you get it and help a lot of people.”

“Me too,” said Hero. “I think you’ll be great at that.”

“Thanks,” Aubrey mumbled, her face feeling suddenly warm.

“Well, I think this deserves a toast.” Kel stood up from his seat and poured some cups of coffee from the coffee maker for them.

Aubrey quirked an eyebrow at him. “We’re toasting coffee?”

“Yes,” he answered, completely unphased as if it was the most natural thing in the world. He held up his coffee cup. “To Aubrey, soon to be ‘World’s Greatest Nurse.’”

He winked at her, and Aubrey shook her head but bantered, holding up her own cup, “And to Kel—Welder of the Year,”

“Would you stop it with that?” he teased under his breath as a flush of red filled his cheeks. He shook his head and turned to Hero. “And to Hero—who can do anything!”

“And everything,” added Aubrey as Hero turned away from them blushing a bright red.

“You guys…” he mumbled.

“And let’s toast Mari too,” said Kel. “Happy Birthday, Mari!”

“Happy Birthday, Mari,” Hero and Aubrey replied with kind, bittersweet smiles.

As they took sips of their coffee, Aubrey’s lips puckered, and her face contorted as she resisted the urge to spit hers out. Even Hero grimaced.

“What in the world is this, Kel?” She reached for her water to try to rinse out the taste.

“Oh you’re never gonna believe it, but Orange Joe makes ground coffee now.”

“Why?” groaned Aubrey.

“You really should warn us first,” Hero quipped dryly with a slight smile, but Kel just shrugged.

“What? I thought it was pretty good.”

“I don’t know how you drink this garbage. It tastes like rotten oranges,” Aubrey bantered. “It would’ve been better if we toasted with broccoli juice or something.”

“I have some soda in the pantry. Let’s just use that.” Hero, always the peace-maker, got up from his seat and made his way to the kitchen with a gentle smile. Once he was gone, Kel finished off his cup of coffee and turned to her with a soft expression in his eyes.

“Hey Aubrey?”

“Yeah?” she asked, her brow furrowing.

“I think it’s really great that you want to be a psych nurse and everything.”

Aubrey sighed. “I don’t know if it’ll work out, Kel. I mean I just interviewed so…”

“It’ll work out,” he cut her off with a reassuring smile. “I know it will, and when it does, I know you’re gonna be great. I…”—he paused and glanced away from her—"I think you’re really great—at everything.”

Aubrey’s cheeks grew warm from the compliment. “Thank you, Kel. I think you’re—”

She didn’t get to finish that thought, however, as Kel wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into an unexpected but welcomed hug. Aubrey pressed her chin to his shoulder and gave him a pat on the back. She waited for him to let go of her, but he held her far longer than usual.

Finally, he whispered so quietly she almost couldn’t hear him. “Do a good job, okay? For all of us…”

Aubrey nodded. She contemplated pulling away from him, but he ran his hand through the ends of her long hair mumbling, “And Aubrey…Uh…I was wondering…”

“Yeah?” she shivered, in spite of herself.

“Uh…” he began again, and she could feel his hands begin to shake as they gently held onto her.

“Do you want diet or regular? I also have a few cherry—” Hero’s voice stopped abruptly. “Oh sorry… I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

Kel and Aubrey quickly pulled away from each other. Aubrey could only hope she wasn’t blushing as much as she feared. Her cheeks burned, but she and Kel hurriedly talked over each other, reassuring Hero it was fine, and he wasn’t interrupting anything. Aubrey’s head reeled, but Kel seemed completely unphased, politely declining Hero’s soda and pouring himself another cup of Orange Joe.

As Kel stood up from his seat beside her on the sofa, Aubrey could have sworn that Hero shot her a knowing, somewhat teasing smile that made her stomach twist. She bit her lip and tried her best to push the thought away—nervously, reaching for her coffee cup in an attempt at nonchalance and unfortunately failing to remembered it was still full of Orange Joe until she had actually taken a sip. Aubrey grimaced at the bitter taste, but her cheeks burned as she watched Hero’s mouth twitched in the corners at her.

*-*-*

Aubrey wished she could say that was the last time she ever accidentally tried Orange Joe. It wasn’t, but both her and Hero did get much better at predicting whether or not Kel was trying to pawn the drink off onto them. It had a distinctively putrid citrusy odor that, eventually, made it much easier to identify. If she knew Kel, there would probably be a whole pitcher full of it at the “prom” he was putting together even though Hero had insisted multiple times that Sally was much too young for coffee.

It was nice to hear that Hero was going to get to come tonight, too. He had been so busy with his residency that they didn’t get to see too much of them these days. Even Kel who was his roommate said he was lucky if he occasionally managed to catch Hero as he was heading to the hospital when Kel himself was getting home from his third shift at the manufacturing plant where he worked. Hero promised them that he was happy, just very busy, and they respected his need for rest, even if it was starting to feel a little bit like her and Kel against the world again.

That reminded her, she ought to give him a call about the traffic—letting him know she was going to be late.

“Hey Kel,” she began, but his voice, muffled and staticky from what Aubrey presumed was a bad connection, cut her off.

“Hi Aubrey. What’s up?”

“Well, I’m on my way, but I’m stuck in traffic. You would not believe how many cars are out here right now.” Aubrey sighed wearily. “On their way to prom probably”

“Have you seen any limos?”

Aubrey laughed. “No, Kel. No limos. I really don’t think we even have those in Faraway Town.”

“That’s probably true.” He chuckled before changing the subject. “It’s no big deal if you’re late or anything. Just drive safely, and you can let yourself in through the fence to the backyard.”

“Oh, are you having it outside?”

Kel hummed. “Yeah, it was such a nice night that I thought it would be fun to dance out on the porch and stuff. I’ve been practicing my dancing, and I think I’m a lot better than the last time you danced with me so…”

Aubrey’s face grew suddenly hot, but she took a deep breath, trying and failing not to think of the last night Kel had danced with her…

*-*-*

“Okay, explain to me again how you came to win dancing lessons?” quipped Aubrey, quirking an eyebrow at Kel, but he merely shrugged at her.

“Well I bought a bunch of raffle tickets because I wanted this ceramic chicken.” He paused before adding hurriedly with a sheepish smile, “And, you know, to support the hospital and everything too.”

Aubrey sighed and shook her head, but Kel didn’t seem to notice. It was very nice of Kel to come with her to her hospital’s charity benefit. They were raising money to build a new wing which would mean more beds in the juvenile behavioral health ward where she worked as a nurse. She had told Kel that the gala was mostly for the really big donors, and she was just inviting him for his company so he shouldn’t feel obligated to donate anything. Even so, it was sweet of him to try to buy some raffle tickets for some of the less expensive items.

A smile twitched in the corners of her mouth. It was just like Kel to do something thoughtful like that—especially for a dumb reason like wanting a ceramic chicken he could probably buy for himself half-as-cheap at a local home goods store.

“I was going to put all the tickets in the drawing for the basket with the chicken,” Kel prattled on. “But then some of the other people were giving me these weird looks, so I started to put them in the drawing for some of the other raffle baskets too, and I guess I won the one with the dancing lessons.” With a slight shrug of his shoulders, Kel frowned disappointedly. “Didn’t win the chicken though. I was pretty bummed about that.”

“What would you even do with a ceramic chicken?” Aubrey teased dryly.

“I don’t know, but I’d probably get more use out of it than dance lessons.”

A chuckle escaped Aubrey’s mouth as she barely stifled a laugh—turning back to the stove where she was frying some potatoes as they waited for the lasagna they were making for dinner to be finished cooking in the oven. It wouldn’t be nearly as good as Hero’s, but he was far too busy with his residency to cook for even himself these days. They were making this meal to surprise him when he got home and to celebrate his first weekend off in months.

“Do you want to take them with me?” asked Kel as he absent-mindedly stirred the pudding they were making for dessert.

Aubrey tilted her head at him. “The dance lessons?”

“Yeah. It’s for two people, and I didn’t really know who else to bring.”

“What about Hero?” She didn’t realize how silly that suggestion sounded until Kel laughed.

“Hero is a great dancer already, and he’s super busy right now anyway.”

With a conceding shrug of her shoulders, Aubrey sighed. “Isn’t there someone else you’d rather bring, Kel?”

“Nope,” he replied immediately, clearly not understanding the meaning behind her words. “Why would there be?”

“Well…you know…some people think that dancing can have a more romantic connotation, so I was just thinking that if you were interested in someone you might want to bring…” Her voice trailed as she tilted her head confused and inquisitively at the unreadable expression on Kel’s face.

“Oh…uh…well…” Kel chuckled though he rubbed his hand sheepishly across the back of his neck. “Actually, I’d rather take you, but if you don’t want to come, you can just say...”

“It’s fine, Kel.” With a shrug, Aubrey stared down at the potatoes, put the lid over the pan, and turned the stove down to low heat so they could simmer. Her mouth twitched into a bantering smile. “I just meant, you should probably be careful going around asking other girls to go dancing with you. They might get the wrong idea.”

“Is it really that much of a romantic thing?” asked Kel blinking at her.

Aubrey shrugged again. “It is in the movies.”

“But that’s just the movies. They make everything romantic, especially when it doesn’t have to be. Like how they always make it seem like prom is the best night of your life or when the couple dances together there one time, they’re suddenly desperately in love forever.” Kel laughed, but Aubrey frowned.

“I didn’t mean it like—” She huffed, shaking her head. “And what would you know about prom anyway, you barely even went to ours?”

“I went to enough of it to know that it wasn’t super magical or anything, and yeah, I danced with a few girls, but it’s not like I’m just pining for them forever now.” Kel paused, chuckling to himself, and Aubrey’s face flushed but her brow furrowed. Was he making fun of her?

“That’s not the same thing. For some girls it’s different. They romanticize it in their heads”—she sighed—“not me but…”

“That’s because you’re a cynic,” teased Kel.

“And you’re a moron—especially if you think that another girl wouldn’t take your invitation to dancing lessons in a romantic way.”

Kel just shrugged and admitted, “I don’t get it.”

“Well…what if you had danced with that girl, the one you actually wanted to take as your prom date? Don’t you think that would’ve been special?”

“I didn’t get to dance with her—ever actually, but I don’t think it would’ve changed anything. A dance is just dance, isn’t it?” He tilted his head as a bantering smile tugged at his lips. “You’re acting like if I just started dancing with you right now, you’d—?”

“K—Kel?” Aubrey’s breath hitched as he slipped his arms around her waist. “What are you doing?”

“Proving a point,” he insisted with a shrug.

Aubrey huffed. “There isn’t even any music.”

“Oh.” Kel absentmindedly tilted his head before pulling out his phone, presumably choosing a song to play. As the song’s intro began to play, he set his phone on the counter and held out his hand to her.

“Can I have this dance?” he asked with a playfully melodramatic bow, and Aubrey sighed with a somewhat affectionate roll of her eyes.

“Fine,” she sighed. “Whatever will get you to focus on cooking again.”

Kel smiled brightly as he wrapped his arms around her waist again. As he met her eyes, she looked away abruptly—clearing her throat as she snaked her arms around his neck. He was so close to her. Her cheeks felt warm, and she swallowed hard, pushing the thought away. ‘It’s just Kel,’ she reminded herself.

He began swaying—Aubrey shook her head—off tempo with the music. “You really can use those dance lessons,” she teased though there was a certain, uncharacteristic shakiness that seeped into her words. She pursed her lips and mentally kicked herself. What was wrong with her all of a sudden?

She could almost feel Kel’s chuckle reverberating in his chest. “Yeah, well I guess it’s good I won them then.” He smiled at her, and as he met her eyes, Aubrey shuddered in spite of herself.

Kel pulled her closer to him—almost pressing his cheek against hers and began to quietly sing along to the music. Aubrey’s face flushed. Knowing Kel he probably wasn’t even aware that he was singing, but she could feel his warm breath, those affectionate words almost whispered in her ear. For the life of her she couldn’t even begin to guess why Kel had picked what was probably one of the most romantic songs in the universe. The slow crooning of the melody alone screamed romance, but there was so much devotion, so much longing in the lyrics—and to hear them in Kel’s voice... Aubrey inhaled sharply—hoping her face wasn’t nearly as red as she feared.

“How”—her voice hitched, and she pulled away from him—“How do you even know this song?”

Kel just shrugged. “Hero showed it to me. He likes all those old songs, you know? And I thought it would be good for this.” He paused. “Why? Do you like it?”

“It’s fine,” shrugged Aubrey though she found she couldn’t look at Kel for some reason.

When she finally met his gaze again, there was something so warm, so gentle in his expression, and his dark eyes seemed to glisten with an emotion that she couldn’t begin to describe but which made her heart pound all the same. He lifted his hand from her waist and gently pressed his palm to her cheek.

“If this was a movie, this is probably the point when I’d say something corny like…” Kel paused, blinking at her with heavy-lidded eyes before he continued with a gentle sincerity that made her breath catch in her throat, ”‘You are so beautiful.’” He stroked her cheek with his thumb, and as his eyes fluttered closed, he sighed, “‘I’ve wanted this for a long time.’”

Aubrey swallowed hard. She tried to frown even though she was sure her face was bright red from that…that pining underscoring his voice. ‘This is just a game,’ she reminded herself—one that Kel seemed to be getting extremely into, but a game all the same. Still... the way his voice faltered, the earnestness in his eyes made it easy to forget.

“You’ve been watching too many romance movies with Hero…” she quipped, but her voice wavered.

Kel chuckled lightly. “Maybe…”

His hand softly stroked the side of her cheek until the tips of his long fingers began to tangle in her hair. She shivered as she took a long, shaky breath. His lips parted slightly as his mouth relaxed. She bit her lip and watched as Kel did the same.

“Aubrey…” he whispered as she tangled her trembling hand in the hair at the nape of his neck and gently pulled him towards her in slow, deliberate movements that didn’t feel like her own. His long, dark eyelashes fluttered. He was close enough to her now that she could almost feel them against her skin.

Her heart pounded. Her hands shook. He hovered in front of her mere inches away from her face. When he whispered her name again, she realized they had stopped dancing.

As Kel’s eyes fluttered closed, he tilted his head and cupped her face with his hands. His breath was warm against her skin, so close Aubrey could almost taste the coffee and citrus lingering from that awful Orange Joe he loved so much. As she began to lean closer to him, her hand curled around the unruly strands of his hair, and she pressed her palm to the back of his head—pulling him in. Closer. Closer.

He began to lean forward. That space between them was almost non-existent now. Aubrey froze—unable to move, unable to breath. Her heartbeat raced, and she could almost feel Kel’s heart pounding as he stopped, a breath away from her. She gripped the soft fabric of his shirt and shut her eyes tightly. Waiting. Waiting until…

BEEP! BEEP! The sound of the oven timer rang through the living room. Aubrey exhaled deeply though her cheeks flushed. What had just happened?

Kel startled, pulling away from her abruptly. “Oh! The lasagna!” he exclaimed with a bright smile, seemingly, completely unphased by what had just happened, by the fact that they had almost…

Aubrey inhaled sharply, then took a few deep breaths to calm herself down. She bit down hard on her lip. It was just a game to him. Of course it was.

“Alright fine, Kel…” she laughed it off with as much of a frown as she could muster as the music stopped. Her racing heartbeat and wavering tone of voice didn’t seemed to get the memo, however. “You’re right.”

His face beamed. “Seriously?” He chuckled, playfully poking her in the arm. “See, I told you that you didn’t miss out on anything at the prom.”

Aubrey sighed—willing that blush she could still feel in her face away. “Yeah… It’s just a dance—nothing necessarily romantic about that. But you know I agreed with you from the beginning, right? So don’t get too excited about it. I just meant a lot of other girls might get the wrong impression.” ‘Especially if you dance with them like that,’ she mentally added, barely managing to stop herself before the words tumbled out of her mouth.

“Yeah, alright. You know, honestly, I actually kinda see your point now too.” Kel tilted his head and chuckled breathily though his expression was unreadable. Aubrey’s heart raced in spite of herself as she tried to push these thoughts, these feelings, whatever they were away for good.

*-*-*

Aubrey let out a long and heavy sigh. She could feel the blush in her cheeks even now just thinking about it. She hadn’t done a very good job of pushing the memory away. Even though they had never talked about that dance, about that almost-kiss ever again, Aubrey had mulled it over in her mind more times than she could count, until she could almost believe that she had been imagining things, that she had just gotten caught up in the music and dancing and that nothing had actually almost happened. But…—Aubrey sighed—the way he had looked at her…

She swallowed hard and pushed the thought away. This was Kel. Kel—dopey, happy-go-lucky Kel who used to eat spray cheese directly out of the can until she and Hero staged an intervention to ask him to stop and who once got a popsicle stick stuck up his nose because he wanted to see if he could touch his brain with it. Granted he was seven at the time, but still… this was Kel, and Kel was…was…

Aubrey sighed. Kel was sweet and thoughtful. He’d do anything to make his friends and family happy, and he loved making people laugh. He could make friends anywhere he went, and he always found things to smile about. And yeah, he could be awkward sometimes, airheaded, oblivious, and occasionally stubborn, but he had a big heart and even if his words didn’t always come out the way he wanted them to, she never doubted how much he cared. He was a great friend—her best friend, probably if she was being honest, but she wasn’t about to waste another minute of her life sitting around analyzing whether she may or may not have almost kissed him once. And she especially wasn’t going to sit around analyzing whether or not she should have or, worst of all, whether she had wanted to.

“You will dance with me again, won’t you?” asked Kel’s voice through the phone. “I gave those dancing lessons to my parents as a gift, but Hero was helping me practice a little bit, so I think I’ve gotten a lot better.”

“Uh…yeah…sure Kel…” stumbled Aubrey trying her best not to think anything of it.

“Okay, great! I’ve got to go now, but I’ll see you soon, okay? Bye.”

“…Bye…” mumbled Aubrey. She let out a long and heavy sigh, shaking her head and mentally kicking herself for getting so flustered about Kel of all people. It was nothing, clearly…given the way he could mention it so nonchalantly like that. She should just stop thinking about it and worrying that it was something that it wasn’t.

She pushed the thought away—trying her best to think about something else, anything else. What was everyone going to wear tonight? Sally would probably look adorable all dressed up in party dress or a costume if she wanted to be an actual princess—though Aubrey supposed Kel had specifically used the word “prom” rather than “ball” so Sally might not want a princess dress. Would Kel and Hero go all out and rent tuxes or just wear nice suits? Maybe Kel would bring back that bright pink tie from their prom…

Aubrey stopped. That tie. She hadn’t thought about it in years until it got brought up a couple of weeks ago when she and Kel were going shopping at the outlet mall with Sally.

*-*-*

“They’re so pretty,” Sally sighed wistfully with a little twirl as they passed some of the clothing racks filled with sparkly prom dresses. “I can’t wait ‘til I’m old enough to go to the prom.” She giggled and squeezed Aubrey’s hand. “What was it like? Did you get to wear a pretty dress like that, Aubbie?”

Aubrey smiled. Sally had given her that nickname years ago when she was a little toddler who struggled with her “r”s, and it made it happy to think that it had somehow stuck all these years. Her smile quickly faded however, as she awkwardly replied, “Well…Sally…I didn’t actually go to my prom.”

“Oh…” Sally’s eyes widened sadly, and she tilted her head. “I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay,” she reassured her, giving her a gentle smile and a reassuring pat on the head. “Your brother went though—to part of it. He wore this bright pink tie.”

Kel laughed and playfully poked her in the arm. “You remember my tie?”

Aubrey’s face flushed, but she bantered. “It was kind of hard to forget. Why’d you pick a color like that anyway?”

“Oh uh…” Chuckling, he scratched the back of his neck. “I never told you?”

“No…” Aubrey quirked an eyebrow at him, but Sally giggled.

“I wanna hear about it.”

“Well, okay, just for you Sally,” Kel’s expression softened, but he shrugged his shoulders. “But I’m warning you, it’s…kind of silly now that I’m thinking about it…” He sighed. “There was this girl…She was really amazing. I wanted to ask her to prom, but I was really afraid she would say ‘no’ so I kind of chickened out. But she really liked pink so…I thought maybe she’d like that pink tie. Kind of silly, right?” He laughed it off, but his cheeks flushed.

“Did she like it?” asked Sally, curiously blinking up at her older brother.

Kel’s mouth curved into a smile, and—Aubrey blushed—she could have almost sworn he glanced over at her when he said, “Yeah. I think she did…”

“You know, you never told me—that girl, did she go with someone else?” The question slipped out before Aubrey could stop it. She had spent years wondering, worrying if she had ruined Kel’s prom with her own problems or if he was nursing a broken heart of his own that had nothing to do with her grief. It was probably selfish to be bringing it up now after all these years, but she couldn’t give up the opportunity to find out for sure if Kel would have left the prom early anyway, even if she had been there.

“Nope,” Kel shook his head with a sigh, and Aubrey swallowed hard.

“Did you get to dance with her, then?”

A smile twitched in the corners of Kel’s mouth—something unreadable but undeniably affectionate flashing across his eyes. “Eventually…”

“Was she a good dancer?” giggled Sally.

“Better than me.” Kel shrugged, but he reached out to take Sally’s hand and gave his sister a little twirl. “But I am getting better.”

He flashed Aubrey a teasing smile, and she shook her head at him as she stifled a laugh. She knew it was a sign that this conversation was over, but it nagged at the back of her brain for the rest of the day as they absentmindedly wandered from store to store, eventually stopping for soft pretzels at the food court and surprising Sally with a bright yellow bow for her hair. There was no more talk of prom.

When it started storming, they decided to call it a day and headed back to Faraway Town. It wasn’t long before Sally fell asleep in the back seat of her car, exhausted from the long and exciting day of shopping. Aubrey dreaded the silence left by the absence of Sally and Kel’s cheerful prattling, but she was grateful for the opportunity to focus on driving rather than on mulling Kel’s words over in her head. That guilt she had been feeling ever since he had had to skip out on their prom on her account was suddenly fresh again, gnawing at her, getting harder and harder to push away.

“Hey…uh…Aubrey? Are you okay?” asked Kel quietly enough so as not to wake up the napping Sally. “You’ve been kind of quiet…”

“Well Sally’s asleep Kel,” she replied with a tilt of her head as she glanced in her rearview mirror.

“Yeah, but I meant before that…Ever since we were in that department store…”

Aubrey took a deep breath and tried to muster a, “Yeah…I’m just…”

She stopped abruptly. Even if she didn’t take her eyes off the road, she could almost picture Kel’s reassuring smile, encouraging her that she could tell him anything. Maybe it would be best to ask him now when she didn’t have to look in his face...

Before she could decide, however, she pulled into the driveway of Kel’s parents’ house. Grabbing a nearby umbrella, Kel got out of the car and gently lifted a sleeping Sally, draping his jacket over her head so her face wouldn’t get wet from his attempts to carry her and the umbrella.

Kel fidgeted until he was shielding Sally completely with the umbrella, getting himself soaked in the process. Aubrey sighed and shook her head with a somewhat affectionate smile. He was going to be sopping wet by the time he got back to the car, but if Aubrey was being honest, she didn’t mind. It was sweet how much Kel cared about his sister. Aubrey supposed that was really just Kel—he always thought about everybody else and how to make them happy. He’d give a stranger his umbrella if they needed it, even if that meant he’d get himself soaked. It was something Aubrey admired most about him.

Her face felt suddenly warm, and she pushed the thought away, watching as Kel handed Sally off to his mom on the porch. She gave Aubrey a bright smile and a cheerful wave as Kel rushed back across yard. Aubrey waved back.

Sure enough, when Kel got back inside the car, he was dripping water. He ran his hand through his sopping hair.

“Sorry, Aubrey. I’ll clean it up when you drop me off,” he insisted with a sheepish smile, but Aubrey waved her hand.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s just water.”

Chuckling, Kel’s mouth twitched into a lopsided grin, and he shrugged his shoulders, “Okay, now that Sally’s inside…what’s up? Something’s bugging you.”

“I’m fine,” Aubrey said, but she knew Kel knew her too well to believe that.

He sighed, a look of concern passing over his eyes. “Are you sure? Is it something I said…?”

“No…” She bit her lip. “It’s not you. It’s just…”

“You’ll feel better if you just tell me. I know you will,” he teased with a kind smile.

Aubrey huffed. He was right, of course, but she didn’t really want to admit that.

“Why did you leave our prom?”

Kel’s brow furrowed, and his eyes widened in confusion. “What?”

“You know…was it for that girl you wanted to take but didn’t end up asking or was it for…?” She stopped and cleared her throat.

“Well…actually…” Kel stumbled, his face flushing. Aubrey sighed guiltily. She didn’t mean to fluster him like this—it wasn’t fair.

“I just…I know it’s none of my business, and I feel bad asking but I just don’t want to be reason that you had to skip out on our prom, you know? So if you left because you were heartbroken or…”

“Oh,” Kel interrupted. Clearing his throat, he rubbed his hand across the nape of his neck. “Uh…I wasn’t heartbroken or anything, but…yeah, I did leave because of that girl—the one I wanted to ask…”

Aubrey sighed. She didn’t feel as relieved to hear this as she had always imagined she would. She felt almost…sad…

“Do you regret it?” she asked quietly, staring at her hands. “Leaving her there at the prom?”

“What?”

“You know, you could’ve stayed. You didn’t have to miss out on it, especially not to just waste the whole night sitting on my porch…” She cleared her throat though she twisted her hands around the steering wheel, staring intently at the swaying windshield wipers. “Do you ever wish that…things had been different?”

“I mean…I guess sometimes, maybe, but only to wish that you had been there and that everyone had been there to come with us.” Sighing bittersweetly, Kel paused. “Why? Do you?”

Aubrey sighed, adjusting her grip on the steering wheel even though the car was still parked. “Sometimes…” she admitted. “But for the same reason as you, I guess, and…” Her voice trailed, and she could feel Kel shift next to her.

“And what?”

“I’ve just…” Her face flushed as she took a deep breath. “I always felt guilty for making you miss it. I really am sorry about that.”

Kel chuckled lightly and placed his hand on her shoulder until she turned to look at him. “Aubrey, don’t worry about it. I already told you. I wanted to spend it with you.”

His smile was warm, and the look in his eyes was so tender that Aubrey’s hands began to shake as her cheeks blushed rose. She turned away from him, and he shrugged his shoulders and admitted, “I think about that night a lot, actually…in a good way. I don’t have regrets.”

He gently pushed a piece of hair out of her face, and Aubrey shivered but not from the cold and wet of the rain on his fingers. “Aubrey, I…There’s actually…” He stopped and pulled his hand away from her abruptly as water began to drip into her face. “Oh shoot. I’m sorry,” he stumbled, panicking over the damp streaks in her hair.

“It’s okay, Kel…” Aubrey sighed—politely failing to mention that his panicking over dripping water everywhere was just spraying water and making everything wetter. “Let’s just…get you home.”

“Okay…” Kel nodded, but his face was flushed. Aubrey was sure hers was bright red. She could only hope he wouldn’t notice.

*-*-*

Taking a deep breath, Aubrey parked her car on the street in front of Kel’s house. This was probably the worst possible thing she could have been thinking of right now. Why did she do this to herself?

She sighed heavily, burying her face in her hands before she composed herself, pushing all those thoughts away. She didn’t even know where they were coming from, and even if she did, now was definitely not the time to be thinking about any of that. She could almost guarantee that Kel certainly wasn’t. There was no way he was sitting around wondering what would have happened if the timer hadn’t gone off when they were dancing or if water hadn’t started to drip into her face when he was running his hand through her hair. These were just things Kel did without thinking—it didn’t mean anything more to him than that they were just friends, so why should it mean anything more to her? And…perhaps more importantly, why would she even want it to? Why would she want affection for him that would never be returned?

Her shoes clicked across the pavement as she made her way down the sidewalk and up the driveway to the house where Kel lived with his brother, at least until Hero finished his final year of residency and paid off enough student loans to afford his own place. There was the faint sound of music echoing from the backyard and lights shimmering from what she assumed was probably their decorated porch. As soon as she walked through the gate to the yard, however, she realized she was wrong. There was a beautiful trellis canopy covered in Christmas lights with twinkling icicle lights hanging from the ceiling—underneath it was Hero’s record player, playing classic love songs.

Aubrey froze just staring at it—how it beautiful it was. She didn’t even notice Kel until he chuckled beside her.

“Aubrey, you made it!” He paused, his expression softening. “You look beautiful. I’m glad I finally got to see your prom dress.”

Aubrey’s face flushed, and she curled her toes in her shoes both at the compliment, and at the fact that Kel didn’t look too shabby himself dressed in his dark suit with combed hair and shiny dress shoes. “You look nice too, Kel. I see you’re wearing that tie—” she tried to tease him, but her voice cracked. Kel, however, just chuckled lightly.

“Oh yeah…well, you know…” With a slight shrug of his shoulders, he paused fidgeting with the bright pink tie around his neck. “Do you like it?”

Aubrey somehow managed a playful roll of her eyes. “It’s great, Kel.”

“I got you this,” he exclaimed excitedly, holding out a plastic container with a corsage inside.

“Wow, thank you,” she stumbled as he helped her slip it onto her wrist. “You really did go all out, huh?”

Kel hummed and nodded enthusiastically, but Aubrey’s brow furrowed as she glanced around. “So, uh…where are Hero and Sally?”

A faint flush of rose filled Kel’s cheeks. “Oh. Uh…well…about that. They’re not here.”

“Why not?”

“It wasn’t really a lie,” he tripped over his words. “I was just trying to surprise you, but I…I didn’t do this for Sally…”

As he met her eyes, Aubrey shivered and swallowed hard. Kel chuckled sheepishly. “I knew you were kind of upset that you missed your prom, and so I thought I’d make you your own prom. Surprise!”

Aubrey looked around the yard—at the twinkling lights, the trellis, Hero’s record player, then at Kel, all dressed up in his best suit with his pink tie, the kindest look in his eyes and the brightest, beaming smile on his face.

“You...”—she inhaled sharply—“You did all this…for me?”

“Yeah…Is it overboard? I was worried it might be a little overboard.”

Aubrey could scarcely put coherent sentences together—her head was spinning. Kel…Kel had done all of this…for her…? “Why?”

“Why?” Kel repeated with wide eyes. “Well…because it’s a lot…with the music and the fancy clothes and the decorations…”

“No, uh—” she stumbled. “Why did you do this for me, Kel?”

“Oh…well I thought you were upset about our prom ever since we went to the outlet mall, and I thought maybe a ‘do-over’ prom would make you happy.”

Aubrey’s blush deepened as she stared down at her feet. “You…you really didn’t have to do this Kel. Especially since I’m the one who basically ruined your prom in the first place.”

“Aubrey…” He pressed his palm to her cheek—smiling, waiting until she finally looked up at him. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you this whole time. You didn’t ruin my prom—not at all. I wanted to spend it with you. I know I probably should’ve just asked you, but I don’t know, I was just…I had never felt so close to anybody in my whole life, and I thought you were so amazing, I didn’t know what to do with myself…” He paused, chuckling awkwardly with a sheepish shrug of his shoulders.

“Wait…you…you…” she stammered trying to make sense of what she was hearing. He couldn’t have possibly just said…? “You wanted to take me to our prom? I’m the girl?”

Kel’s cheeks blushed red, but he nodded. “You’re the girl.” Aubrey could only blink at him as he chuckled lightly, awkwardly again and joked as he fidgeted with his hands, “You know…if this was a movie, this is probably the part where I’d say something really corny like ‘You’ve always been the girl.’”

As he met her eyes, Aubrey froze. His words may have been corny, but the look in his eyes was so sincere, so…affectionate. She swallowed hard—sure her face must be bright red by now, but she couldn’t move, couldn’t think. She tried her best to take a deep breath and shakily tease him but her voice was wavering, breathy—it almost didn’t sound like her. “Yeah…that’s—that’s really corny…”

“Yeah, I’m no Hero…” Kel chuckled self-deprecatingly. “I’m really not good at any of this stuff…” He bit his lip and looked back up at her with a gaze that made her shiver. “But I really do think you’re great—probably the most amazing person I’ve ever met. I’m sorry for not saying it before.”

“Kel, I…” Her voice hitched. “I had no idea you felt this way…”

“That’s okay,” shrugged Kel. “To be honest, I didn’t even know I felt this way for a long time. It took me a while to figure it out…I was just kind of dense, I guess.” He laughed with a sheepish grin. “When I finally mentioned it to Hero, he gave me this look like ‘it’s about time…’ Then he was the one who was really encouraging me to tell you, but I just never really could figure out how and…then I was worried I was going to mess up our friendship and I didn’t want to make things awkward…But I guess this is kinda awkward, huh? All the movies make it look so easy…”

Aubrey blushed. If one of them should be feeling dense right now, it really should be her. Kel was…Was he really…?

“Listen, uh…you’re really quiet right now. You don’t have to say anything. We can just pretend that I never said anything,” he began to ramble quickly, nervously. “I didn’t want to put you on the spot, I just—I thought that was something you should probably know about me, er, about you, er how I feel about you because I—I really like you and I think you are really great and if you ever talk to me again after this, I would really like to take you to dinner and…”

Aubrey could only blink at him, unable to get a word in edgewise as he let out a long heavy sigh. “And I am totally messing this up…” Sighing heavily again, he ran his hand through his hair, before he met her eyes. “Aubrey…I’m sorry—”

“Don’t be…” Aubrey interrupted, reaching up to stroke Kel’s cheek with her hand. “I know it’s not an easy thing to say…”

“No, but you don’t understand. I tried to practice and everything. I was going to say all kinds of really nice stuff like that you’re probably the most important person in the world to me, and I don’t know what I’d do without you. After Mari and Sunny and Basil…”—his voice hitched—”Things were so dark and so sad…it was probably one of the worst times in my life, and I felt so alone, but then, you found me…and you showed me that even if this world without them is always going to be a little sadder than it was, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t still good things in it too. And a lot of those good things were because of you—when we tease each other and we’re throwing popcorn at each other or I’m wiping frosting on your nose or splashing water at you at the beach—when we laugh about corny movies or dance in the kitchen or when we just talk for hours and completely forget about the time…or when your face turns all red when you’re trying not to smile or the way your nose wrinkles when you laugh. And you”—he cupped her face in his hands—“You’re the best thing.”

“Kel—I…I…” Aubrey began to trip over her words, unsure what she even wanted to say.

Kel sighed, his face blushing red as he pulled his hands away from her, and mumbled, “I don’t even know if that makes sense…”

“No, it…it does,” Aubrey said with a reassuring smile. “I…I completely…” She stopped. “Back then, I…I never thought I could ever be happy again, but you showed me I could be, that there’s still…happiness…” Her voice trailed, but Kel wrapped his arms around her and pulled into a tight hug.

“Aubrey…I’m…I’m so glad…I…”—Kel’s voice hitched—“I just want you to be happy. I want you to be so, so happy. I just never thought I’d ever be lucky enough that you could be happy with me.”

“I am happy, Kel,” Aubrey whispered, unable to think, unable to breath. Something she couldn’t even begin to describe seemed to propel her forward—her whole body almost moving on its own as she pulled back from him just enough to close her eyes and brush her lips against his.

“A—Aubrey?” stumbled Kel with a look more akin to having been whacked on the back of the head rather than kissed.

“Kel, uh…sorry…” she began staring off over his shoulder. “I just um…”

“No, I’m sorry, I just…I wasn’t ready.” Aubrey’s eyes widened, but Kel hurriedly added, “Ready as in prepared not as in ready like I—I didn’t want…because I—I do…”

A playful smile tugged at Aubrey’s lips, but she was blushing too much to actually tease him.

“I—I…” Kel began to stumble again, and Aubrey could have sworn she heard him mumble, “Oh forget it…” under his breath before he finally just threw his arms around her neck and kissed her. His hands tangled in her hair as hers gripped the collar of his suit pulling him even closer to her. She could taste that sickeningly sweet Orange Joe on his breath, but she didn’t even care.

When they finally broke apart from each other, red-faced and breathless. Kel chuckled teasingly, “I guess I should probably ask you to dance now, huh?”

As that familiar song began to play, Kel wrapped his arms around her, and Aubrey slipped her hands around his neck. They swayed in time to the music, and neither one of them could hold back their smiles.

As Aubrey nestled into Kel’s chest, she could feel him chuckling lightly to himself.

“What?” she asked quietly.

“Nothing it’s just…” Kel pulled away just enough to look at her and meet her eyes as his mouth twitched into a soft, playful smile. “Maybe it really is true what everyone says about prom after all…”

#kelbrey #omori baseball bat #omori baseball #baseball omori #omori kelbrey #cries about kelbrey #kelbrey prom #i want out of kelbrey hell #send help #can acacia actually write romance? let's see...#i can't believe i wrote this #omori spoilers #my omori fanfiction #thank you so much for reading

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craw-dacious · 1 year ago

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The things I did by Lolo-ro fic review

Chapter by chapter, until i got distracted by the story lol.

Still fairly new to marauders but am loving it.

summary review: I truly adored this fic, probably my fave Wolfstar so far. I thought the worldbuilding was fantastic, as well as the characterization of baby Harry. Fairly angsty, but with plenty of fluff to make up for it. The raising Harry idea is becoming one of my favorite tropes, and this fic did an amazing job of weaving parenthood into a world that is still filled with complexities and evil, as well as lives outside of the main characters.

SPOILERS BELOW BEWARE

Chapter One

Again, the aftermath for Remus is getting me

So so so sad, and him believing Sirius innocent makes it worse

The traitor shit is horrible to deal with emotionally im sure

I am upset to realize just how much remus ignored harry in the books/canon

Like thats ur nephew fr come onnnn

Chapter Two

Aw he’s doing a good job as a dad

This fic is making him out to be very forgetful, fully forgot about both harry and Sirius

The pacing is much more clear in this which I enjoy quite a bit

Cutesy Christmas, cutesy harry

ALSO I LOVED THE HAGRID MOMENT

I do feel like we need to get the Weasleys involved tbh baby Ron and Harry is PEAK

Chap 3

Pls dont let that annoying ass bitch be important, if theyre in trouble bc of this shit ill kms

Shut up Hagrid he needs everything he wants his parents ARE dead brother

Okay actually I like that annoying ass bitch a lot, this is very good

I guess he actually is spoiling him tbf

Ok so he’s actually forgetful as fuck. Forgot Harry’s birthday, forgot about Sirius AGAIN.

Like actually what is going on is his brain damaged

This chapter has been depressing

The fight IN AZKABAN how will this turn into legit wolfstar if they are so mad they fight WHILE SIRIUS IS IMPRISONED

But also he didn’t talk to a single person for 12 years in canon im gonna kms

Marauders is making me realize just how shitty and sad canon was bruh, remus and Sirius were like ALONE, obvie remus did shit and wasn’t a complete waste but its just so SAD

OKAYYYY I TOLD Y’ALL I LOVE A GOOD MOODY MOMENT

Literally obsessed with alastor moody he’s so fucking cool and we BARELY KNEW HIM in the books because of FUCKING CROUCH

This chapter was incredible, good baby harry, good angst, good FIGHT (love romantic arguments, make me nostalgic) (imy [REDACTED] we fought so cutey)

Ok I think I complained earlier about this, but it’s important for there to be conflict and issues when there’s this much trauma. Great plot choice. Also makes it 20x more interesting

Fuck Peter. I fucking hate Peter.

Chapter 4

Ugh stupid muggles messing everything up

Someone should try to kill them all off or something idk they’re getting in the way

But this is shaping up to have some LEGAL ISSUES which I LOVE because im a fucking NERD <33333

Harry is so cute. I actually prefer this to the last baby Harry bc he has sm more personality.

Almost forgot the meat of this chapter omg its good im getting distracted

Sirius and Harry together was a NEED bruh actually so cute

And I talked to you kate about this earlier but remus has been different in other fics and I do kinda like him in this one, he’s more depressed and stressed than normal, but the forgetfulness almost lends itself to aloofness in a way that fits him

I very much appreciated him being so kind to Sirius. While I understand him being pissed at him for thinking he’s a traitor, the man is in Azkaban, like you’ve got to chill out, talk to him about this stuff when you have more than 15 minutes and less dementors

Anyway that scene was nice, I like the idea of their little family

Chappy 5

Good shit again

THIS is the perfect chapter length, not so long I forget what happens but no so short I have to stop reading every five seconds to review

The werewolf prejudice is a big thing in this fic, im not sure how I feel about it. Obviously from an equality standpoint, werewolves should be seen as human. Yet, there is something to the idea that the actual transformed wolf is very dangerous. I’m worried the wolfsbane study will be viewed as Remus “hiding himself” or something like that, when it should be viewed as a solution to the one thing holding werewolves back.

This can’t be compared to real life discrimination. You can’t be like “so you hate minorities” because none of the minorities I know turn into wolves once a month bruh

Anyway, Dumbledore being morally grey-ish, making mistakes but always anti-voldy. He’s such an interesting character. I like his presence in the book as well. Hagrid should come back soon he’s so nice.

Chap 6

Permanent pass <3, so cute. Having to abandon muggle friends? Not cute. Fuck Dumbledore, but only like a little

Not a dumby stan or hater tbh hes just a little silly in both directions

I’m so conflicted on this situation. Yes, it SUCKS that Sirius thought remus was the spy, but it’s not necessarily damning. It’s likely he convinced himself of it because it was the most painful option so it must’ve been the truth. It seems like fear, almost, and jealousy of the wolves over him? Might be over analyzing and overomanticizing but that is what im seeing atm.

The teaching position goes fucking CRAZY man, If remus was my history teacher my life would be GOLDEN

Do you think remus lupin would be a good addition to upper H hall yes or no

Chapter 7

Jesus fuck I forget how sad all this shit is sometimes

To begin with, the teaching position seems great. I do wish Remus would understand that he’s qualified for it

Speaking of teachers, I would love to see who the DADA teacher is, I know its not permanent but still fun

Anyway, I think 7 kids would be the end of me. I love children, and I still relate to Remus far more than Arthur in that scene, there’s actually no fucking way.

Like yes give me a shot I cannot do it, the strong drink joke was a good cover because I am sure its Arthurs greatest desire

Also, love him just dropping interest about muggles, would love to see that chat actually play out but it seems unimportant

But maybe it’ll be how he catches worm tail …

Azkaban visit was good, Sirius is being less racist, and Remus is being kind. Wish they would love each other again already but slow burn wins <3

Also you could just tell that Sirius missed harry, very cute

Chapter 8

Heart hurts, poor Sirius

I said that remus should be nicer

Chapter 9

Okay, information has been gained

Sorry for short 8 summary

So Sirius FORGOT that he and remus broke up, which is CRAZY

There’s a whole lot of forgetting in this fic im realizing, very relatable

I would actually kill myself

I’m sitting here pondering how I would react in this situation and genuinely tweaking just imagining it

He needs to go break it off with him, he can explain, there’s not really another option for him. If he maintains this it’s going to end poorly. I’m assuming he’s going to do that anyway, as it creates the most drama and is fantastic for the plot

I do think Remus is underestimating the importance of being taken even somewhat seriously by the Wizengamot. I know it’s not what he fully wanted but it’s legitimate progress.

Chapter ten

WHAT DID I SAY HE’S NOT GONNA TELL HIM

This chapter INFURIATED ME

Also im gonna start skipping chapters bc otherwise the review will be long asf

Snape is a piece of work, obviously. Like Remus isn’t being shitty to you and you were a fucking death eater man. Also he despises children which is a red fucking flag

Just let him pet your stupid cat motherfucker

Unless its secretly regulus as an animagus that would be sick asf I saw fan art the other day where he was a cat and it was good

Moving on, im appreciating the slow burn on discovering Peter. Like they easily could have discovered him 3 chapters ago when remus was first there.

Chapter 11 & 12

The enchanted parchment

Leaving him on delivered is crazy actually

Literally reads exactly like the GHP texts between me and [REDACTED] LMAO

“I guess I’ll talk to you later, assuming you’re at soccer, imy!!”

Actually devastated reading this im going to be honest

Lots of shit going down, forgetting and memory issues are such an interesting plot device, it makes any part of the story unreliable, and confuses the reader just a little bit. It also creates a lot of dramatic irony, which can often be very sad and tragic

Also, order members calling voldy “Voldemort” all high and mighty is a bit strange considering that they all chewed harry out about calling him “He Who Shall Not be Named”

Snape stole the parchment read it and slipped a potion into lupins chocolate that he would give to Sirius to sabotage their relationship

Bc Dumbledore told Snape everything as his extra special spy obviously

Ok so I was wrong it was dementors again. And remus told Sirius about the breakup. Which is, the right thing to do I guess

This is so hard for everybody man, Sirius’ perspective is heartbreaking

At least it shows his chats with dumby, who happens to be the funniest person in this fic

Chapters 13 & 14

Reconciliation came a bit too easily but thats alright, I want them to be happy

The amount I would give to receive a cat for Christmas. I want that so bad bruh.

Ok at least they’re acknowledging how bad Remus is with dates

Okay him being a dog seems helpful, I do feel like that should have been noticed a while ago

Honestly am feeling a bit lost in the romance, long distance pining is not my fave but hopefully Sirius will be freed before long and they can be happy for once.

I just am so curious as to why they broke up, I know thats the point but it just doesn’t make sense

Also ignore my random theories I keep throwing about, I dont actually believe snapes cat is regulus or that Snape poisoned Sirius its just fun

Chapters 15-16

They explained the plan so I know it will go horribly wrong

HELL FUCKING YEAH THEY GOT HIM THAT SNEAKY LITTLE CUNT HATE THAT MOTHERFUCKER FUCK PETER I HATE PETER

Still not happy. I dont know what I expected

2 chapters and they’ll kiss, im expecting a huge fight in chapter 17

Chapters 17-20

Ok this is strange. The relationship dynamic has developed very differently than I thought it would. They really need to figure out this memory I’m sure it all a misunderstanding or some stupid shit like that

Someone thought someone else killed somebody else

Also why is this so mirroring to me and [REDACTED] from like July forward

Distant over text/parchment, not allowed to say I love you, basically only physical, guilt for things I couldn’t remember

Except for the baby and trauma and everything

Last fic was me and remus being the same this time it’s Sirius. When am I going to consume content and not think about [REDACTED] again Im tired of him being in my brain

Chap 21-22

KATE I TOLD YOU NO I LOVE YOU FICS I HATE THIS

I also talked about [redacted] with ppl for like an hour and a half last night it was terrible

Did it again the next night bro why is that rat still in my head

23-24

The memories are throwing me for a loop. On the one hand, everything is devastatingly sad. On the other hand, they’re all being emo and need to get it together

Sirius getting “lost in his memories” is a cool idea though, I’m liking the new magic thats being explored in this fic

I need them to have a huge blowup fight. Like a massive fight that sucks and is terrible. I don’t know how they’d do it but I need it

Also I think I can take one more “oh poor Sirius” memory until I blow my brains out. Big whoop your plan failed and you were insecure about it, I’d reach out to the closest person to blame to. I blamed [REDACTED] for not winning an award at model un, not his fault. Sirius can blame Remus for his plan failing and have a moody moment then move on, trust can be rebuilt.

Last five chapters

Ok everything is happy again and the reunion went FANTASTIC

The one thing I feel like I haven’t commented on enough in this fic is Snape

His character is well done, he’s so mean and bitchy but not like completely evil which is just hilarious, I love his and Remus’s dynamic its very good

I also think his relationship with Harry is funny, and I’m glad it’s not as shitty as it started out.

“Harry, friendly and bright-eyed, took the opportunity of silence to lean onto the counter, put his face right up to the goblin’s, and say, “Meow.”

Remus pulled Harry off the counter, embarrassed, and plopped him on the ground. “Don’t meow at people, love.”

That is actually the silliest cutest thing I’ve ever read in my entire life. Literally would birth a child rn bc of how cute that is. Jesus fucking christ bruh

Can they stop making out in public. Like in front of one other person in public. Its so awk

I KEEP TRYING TO GIVE KUDOS THIS IS LIKE SUGAR BRUH SO SWEET

My criticisms are growing though, there are a few things im concerned about but im gonna finish the story before I discuss

Why can I not escape my Draco phase. One sentence about “the little Malfoy” and harry going on playdates and I RUSH to think about how that changes their school dynamic and how they treat each other and all this shit

Looks like they’re leaving some loose ends on purpose, telling not showing a lot here at the end tbh

I WANT A CHILD HE’S SO CUTE

This is the first time ive actually been obsessed with a child character hes ADORABLE

Gonna read the epilogue before writing my final review, but don’t want to take it in for my review

FINAL REVIEW:

Ok. Done. Having to write this a day after finishing because I fell asleep right after

My favorite parts

ANGST: very well done, miscommunication can sometimes be overdone but I feel like it worked this time. I loved how easily apparent the love that was still there was.

Humor: This fic made me laugh out loud multiple times. This was mostly Harry, but there were a couple of moments from the doctor guy and Arthur that made me giggle

CHILD: literally have never seen a child portrayal that was this good. Like literally from beginning to end it was good. I’m sure some people would read this fic and say 2 yo harry is too advanced, but he’s so bright and I feel like growing up with Remus would breed him to be a talker. The accuracy of the 8 yo and 11 yo at the end was good as well, it ticks me off when people fuck up ages of a child, especially one so parenting-focused as this

Depth of world building: I could truly see this world, like I understood the flat, I understood the weasleys, I understood the dorm at Hogwarts. The scene at their graves, everything was great.

Now my weaknesses

Some underdeveloped plots

Peter: they brought up having to talk to him, made it a big deal with getting a memory and then just abandoned it and said “remus had the perfect memory.” Then, the memory was SO MUNDANE. I’m sure the author just fucked up and had to figure something out, which is fine, just was a little dissapointing.

Poison: this is another where I think the plot just ran away from the author, but I was expecting something more than “Sirius asked them to fix it and they did”

Some(?) characterizations

Remus was perfect. Sirius was a little too nice, he’s volatile and little bitt crazy and I got less of that in this fic. Sometimes it was perfect. This isn’t really a criticism, more “it could be a little better”

Overall: 8.3/10

I truly adored this fic, probably my fave wolfstar so far. However, I know this is just because I love children and loved baby harry so much, so my rating is attempting to be unbiased.

#fic rec #remus lupin #wolfstar #fic reviews #gay shit #harry potter #marauders

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evendale · 1 year ago

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Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

I was tagged in this by the lovely @once-in-a-blue-moon-rising. Thank you! 😊 It's nice to revisit my fics, it's been a while.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

1,014,041 words. Yikes 😂

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Most of my works are in the La Casa de Papél fandom. Before that, I was in the Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries fandom. I also have a handful of ficlets in the fandom for the Stormlight Archive books by Brandon Sanderson.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

My top 5 fics by kudos are all in the LCDP fandom, and they're all +100k words.

Number one is 'The White Queen', a Regency romance AU. It's got almost double the amount of kudos than the second-highest fic.

'Personal Relationships', a canon-compliant AU.

'Back to Galicia', a movie star second chance AU.

'Safe House', a witness protection program AU.

'Tell Me What You Like', a collection of canon 'fill the gap' smutty scenes.

5. Do you respond to comments?

I used to 😅 I used to love spending a lot of time writing elaborate and personal responses to comments, and I in fact met several of my best fandom friends through comment conversations! However, over time I just simply didn't have the energy for it anymore. There are still a bunch of super lovely comments on the last chapter of my last fic that I really should have responded to, but I simply don't have the mental space. I do feel bad about that 🙈

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't write angsty endings. I love angst in the main fic, but I'm committed to HEAs :)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably 'The White Queen', where I spent about 50k words describing just how happy they were 😂

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've had a few nasty comments, but they're absolutely nothing compared to the vast sea of incredibly kind, lovely, and supportive comments I've gotten. I've been very lucky.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

My earlier work is almost entirely smut 😂 It's funny to see my later fics evolving into containing more and more plot, and less and less smut. I wonder how my readers felt about that 😂 The smut is explicit, but I've always tried to keep it tasteful.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I haven't written any crossovers yet. I'm usually obsessed with only one piece of media at a time :)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes -- I discovered a few years ago that one of my LCDP fics had been stolen and put on Amazon for money! It took ages to explain things to Amazon (because I didn't own the characters) and to get it taken down. It was a very icky feeling.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, I've had several requests from people who wanted to translate my fics into Russian :)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, and I don't think I could. I love to brainstorm about plot with a friend or beta reader, but I couldn't actually share the writing process. I'm too much of a control freak 😅

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

If we're only looking at the first 2 seasons of LCDP, then Serquel. However, the subsequent seasons partially ruined them for me, so maybe I'd better choose Phryne and Jack from Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

My only unfinished fic on AO3 is 'Tell Me What You Love' in the LCDP fandom, but that's more a series of vignettes that I kept open in case I wanted to add more. It wasn't really meant to have an ending. That said, I don't think I'll ever add to it anymore.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, I think. I also think in general I'm a clear writer who gets to the point without too many flourishes or detours.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

For a long time, I felt like I couldn't come up with any kind of original plot, but I think I got better at that over time. I'm still pretty bad at descriptions, though. I just want to get to the action and dialogue, and I forget that my readers are not in my head and can't see the characters or surroundings like I do :D

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I wouldn't include more than a few words of phrases sprinkled through the dialogue.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries. I was all of 26 when I first discovered fanfiction!

20. Favourite fic you've written?

That's such a tough choice 😅😅 If I absolutely have to choose, then I think 'The White Queen'. I was really just writing the exact fic that I wanted to read myself with that one. I had so much fun with it, I was so inspired that the chapters literally flowed out without any effort, and I got the most amazing response to it from the fandom. It will always be extra special to me 😊

I'm not tagging anyone in particular, but if you see this and want to do it, consider yourself tagged! :)

#fanfiction

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goodnightmina · 22 days ago

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the most self indulgent fic idea of the day

Deus Ex: Human Revolution recast with RE4R characters

sigh

here's the thing. I love a man who feels dehumanized. the classic fucking cliche of ohh he has to be a hero but he has so many tortured, angsty feelings! we know. I'm exhausted by how boring I am as well. but, I am who I am.

long ass ramble below, there are a ton of parallels that make this surprisingly writable imo:

Leon -- especially "I was 'asked' to join a top-secret government program. Not that I had a choice"-ass RE4R Leon-- really leans into that. when the devs needs to write someone who's conflicted about the whole thing, they love to call that floppy haired emo bitch to the stand.

Why not go all the way with it? Leon's conscripted in canon. He slots right in for the Adam "I never asked for this" Jensen role. Take the metaphor to the fullest extent by literally making him a weapon-- yoink those arms right off and replace em with cybernetic blade arms that are too strong for gentle, intimate physical touch.

I think the plot would have to be blended-- for it to be properly self-indulgent, you know I need that eagleone in there. Ashley doesn't fit a super great role of any existing DXHR characters. Maybe Megan, as Adam's literal (ex) girlfriend but then I don't get my romantic fluff. Even though that is probably a more nuanced, less cliched romance than Leon and Ashley's knight and princess trope. (I love a cliched loyal, stoic bodyguard and charge who loves their big scary dog moment though. So.....call me cliched.)

I like Ashley Sarif (she'd go by her mother's maiden name, Graham, in the fic. Most likely, anyway.) as the President (of the Company)'s daughter-- still get that conflicted I want to...but I shouldn't...unless? angst between them that way. (but then that begs the question of how she gets involved in the plot. all the kidnapping in DXHR happens off screen, and then there's no eagleone developing)

Alternatively, Ashley is Malik, but then she gets less screen time and adventuring together for the relationship, and it's really more of a coworkers who spend so much time traveling together that something blossoms.

Luis I want to fill the Pritchard role. Less catty, but the homoerotic subtext remains alive. (As would he, if he stayed on the phone!) I think really, Hunnigan should fill this role as the mission coordinator/voice in ear. She really fits better. But then instead of sardonic banter, we mostly get Ingrid being professional, and that's less fun.

If Luis doesn't get a call back from the Pritchard audition, the natural role for him is Malik, in terms of plot position I'd like (bantering with Leon-Adam, kinda teasing him, but they're friends. who also have some sexual tension according to me and three other fanfic writers) or in terms of who he actually is as a character, Luis as Megan makes a lot of sense. Guilty scientist with questionable past...

Ada is also a great fit for Megan-- she has some affection for Leon-Adam, but was also more than willing to exploit him, morally gray, ex GF. working for the bad guys, or is she? Alternatively, Ada as Eliza makes sense- she works for the bad guys, but she wants to help Leon despite it. doesn't give Ada enough intrigue or agency to really stretch her legs as a character though.

krauser: namir. meant as a dark foil to the lead. "Men like us, we never get back the things we love." - there's an acknowledgement of kinship, that, while very different from Krauser's, is a parallel between the two. I think it fits.

mendez - Barrett. brute force miniboss. character doesn't really fit iirc, but ,,, so it goes.

which makes Salazar fedorova: honestly, I didn't think it'd fit at first, given her propensity for illusion and stealth, but she does also jump around like a bug. they fit in terms of gameplay mechanic and hardly at all as characters. she never talks, he won't shut the fuck up

saddler is probably Zhao (the fucking byzantine nature of deus ex lore means there's probably at least three other roles he could fill in this game). the whole biochip control thing is a good parallel for the plaga. he's more of a true believer and victim to the forces he's trying to control, but if we're dumbing down the DXHR plot and it's intricacies to make it fit the RE4R mashup better, maybe there's less machiavellian scheming

the plot would probably be somewhere in between the sweeping conspiracy that DX lends itself to and RE4's more classic knight saves princess tale, were I to write it out. Not that Resident Evil as a lore base doesn't lend itself to labyrinthine conspiracy (Umbrella - Gov't ties, Tricell/Wilson from ID, whatever was happening in Degeneration, whatever Ada's always up to, and so on) but I as a person and writer don't have the patience to plot and scheme it all out myself. so it'd probably be a simplified version of the DXHR plot with more focus on self indulgent eagleone

shit. am I going to write this though?

sigh

that's eighty one drafts in progress...but yes. i will probably write this to about 20k words and give up.

#Mina fic idea of the day #literally stop doing this you've got requests pending #and posted fics that are unfinished #and at least ten longform WIPs

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mackjlee9 · 3 years ago

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Silco x Male!Reader [Angst]

(I've never played League of Legends and I have no idea what the lore of it is, so this may be somewhat inaccurate since I'm basing most things I know with the series, like the ages, I tried not to make them too old since we don't really know their canon ages, but please enjoy)

Warning; mage!reader, ending spoilers, silco & reader are approx 9 years apart, angsty plot with happy ending...?

Masterlist.

Arcane; League of Legends

Since long ago, (M/n) has been close to Vander and Silco. They were like his older brothers, always taking care of him whenever his parents had to leave for work over in Piltover.

He and Silco had always been really attached, he liked playing with the thin male more than Vander, since (M/n) always found his large body quite intimidating. Even so, his parents never forgot to remind their son of one simple thing.

Never, under any circumstances, tell anyone you're a mage let alone, use your magic.

(M/n) learned at quite an early age, close to five, that the Enforcers would kill them if they even found out about them being mages.

Everyone in Runeterra knew that mages still existed, but here, in the city where he lived, they weren't very well-liked, so his family had to hide it. And they did. However, (M/n)'s parents died in an unfortunate accident involving Enforcers and some thugs from the undercity, leaving (M/n) all by himself at the age of eight.

Silco was seventeen at the time, and he took care of the (h/c) haired boy along with a kind of reluctant eighteen years old Vander.

The years went by, and (M/n) kept growing every day, he started wanting to fight and defend himself, knowing that Silco was the kind of guy who couldn't raise his fist at someone. He would ask Vander every day if he could teach him some self-defense moves, but he would only push him away and keep on with his work.

And it was now, at this very moment that he knew he should've just asked someone else to teach him how to fight.

His weak, fifteen-year-old body helplessly watched as Vander tried to keep Silco under the water long enough to... kill him.

(M/n) knew the older male had been waiting for him, meeting in their usual spot to just talk and laugh like any other normal person. And that's the sight he was greeted with once he arrived. He saw Silco's arms flailing around, throwing weak punches at Vander, on the very rare occasion he was able to take a small breath of air, but he was immediately pushed back into the water.

His eyes were filled with tears, his breathing turning heavy and his body shook in place. He was frozen by fear, he didn't know what to do. His body was small and weak, he could never win against Vander-

"Hel-!" Silco's screams of help reached his ear, (M/n) watched him struggle to get his head out of the water for less than a second, and that was just enough for the teen boy to snap back to reality, "(M/-)!"

He took a deep breath as he frantically looked around for something he could use to push Vander away from Silco, and he found it.

There was a metal pipe laying on the floor behind some wooden planks, he rushed towards it and grabbed it with shaky hands. At that moment, when he got in the water and started moving closer to Vander he realized.

Silco wasn't moving anymore.

"No!" He exclaimed, lifting the metal pipe above his head with shaky arms and lowering it down hard onto Vander's back. His stance wobbled, his head turning to glance over his shoulder at him, but Silco wasn't going to let Vander get close to (M/n). Wrapping his slim fingers around the knife Vander always carried on the right side of his belt, he gathered at much strength as he could, his mind getting foggy and dizzy with how long he hadn't been receiving oxygen properly. Vander groaned from the pain, looking away from (M/n) and back at Silco, reaching his right arm out to try and push him back underwater, however, Silco was quicker, slicing his forearm open and rushing towards (M/n).

He held the teen's hand in his, getting out of the water and running away as far they could from that lake, getting to a safe place in Zaun.

Finding an abandoned building, they hid inside, gathering some stuff that they could use to stay warm, and once they were certainly safe for an amount of time, Silco fell unconscious on his shoulder. (M/n) knew he had to take him to Signed to check on his left eye, but for now, with unsteady hands, he gently held the older male's face, using a bit of his magic to at least stop the bleeding. He wasn't able to do much, his magic was weak due to the lack of use, but his parents were mostly healer mages so he learned some stuff from them before they died.

Since that day, (M/n) had always been there for Silco, taking care of him, and yet, seeing how his first love was turning colder and colder with every day that went by. Yes, he was in love with the man, but there wasn't much he could do anyway, Silco only ever saw him as a younger brother, nothing else. He used to think he was just... confused, so he tried to get it on with some girls from the brothel near The Last Drop, but nothing, they didn't cause anything in his body, only Silco did.

It was hard, not being able to talk about his feeling with anyone was difficult. But he learned to bottle up every emotion, and like, with the years running by, he grew up.

And now, at twenty-three years old, (M/n) had won a place as Silco's bodyguard. In less than ten years, Silco had gained most of the respect of people in Zaun. Not everyone though, some were on Vander's side. If only they knew... was all (M/n) could think about as he saw a buffed man and woman defending that man. Their names were Benzo and Sevika.

(M/n) would stop by the bar, take a few drinks, and leave without forgetting the glare at Vander whenever he was there. His body was no longer that of a fifteen-year-old boy, he had gotten taller than Silco and gained some muscles, just the right amount of them, he was never a big fan of big muscles anyway.

Now, (M/n) was officially Silco's bodyguard, however, he was also second-in-command whenever Silco couldn't or just didn't want to attend some business meeting.

That includes Sevika the moment she joined seven years later.

Everyone heard about it, how four kids from the undercity blew up a building on topside, and the moment everyone realized how Vander protected them, they knew he had become what he once was. Weak.

Sevika had been wondering about Silco's territory in Zaun, making sure she was making the right choice by betraying the buffed man known as Vander, and she did. She quickly became Silco's right hand, just a position below (M/n)'s, and she was okay with that.

Already having hit thirty years, (M/n) couldn't help but wonder for how long more he'll have to carry his feelings, those feeling that he buried deep inside him.

They were still there, begging to be let out. But he couldn't do it. Not now, not ever.

He tried, he really did. For the past three years he had been trying to win over Silco's love, courting him and subtly flirting with the man, but he was too busy with other things. Like creating and perfecting shimmer, so yeah, nothing really happened.

Then, there was another obstacle in his way.

Jinx.

That year, Silco took Jinx under his wing, raising the eleven-year-old girl as his daughter. Oh, since that day, (M/n) had been getting less and less attention from the older man, something that made him upset. I mean, it was nice seeing Silco being so soft and careful with a kid, it reminded him how he would take care of him when he was still a kid. But he couldn't help but feel hurt as Silco ignored him more and more every day.

It even got to the point where he would go with Sevika downstairs, grab a drink and sit next to her to watch her betting. She became kind of like a mother figure for (M/n), she was always so patient and nice to him, that he just... told her. Everything that happened since his parents died. And she was there, listening and realizing that Silco's intimidating bodyguard was still an insecure teenage boy inside.

She even laughed when he told her about his dislike towards Jinx, but also how he wouldn't even think to do something to her, she was everything to Silco, and he treasured the times when he saw the man smiling and chuckling along the blue-haired girl.

Of course, his hostility wasn't overlooked by Jinx herself, with the trembling body of a fourteen-year-old teen, she walked up to him and quietly asked why.

"You don't like me very much, right? Why?" Her quiet voice resonated in the empty room, but (M/n) just glanced away, his jaw clenching as he ignored the question. Jinx sighed and left, going to Silco's office to sit on his lap, snuggling on his chest as she asked him the same thing. "Why does (M/n) hate me?"

Silco's mismatched eyes widen slightly at the sudden question, he never realized (M/n)'s behavior around his daughter so he never addressed the matter with him. But instead of worrying about giving (M/n) a piece of his mind, Silco just wrapped his long, slim around the girl, holding her close to his body.

"(M/n) doesn't hate you, Jinx, he's a really nice man, there might be a reason for his behavior towards you, so don't worry about that," he told her and she just nodded, her blue eyes closing as she soon fell asleep on Silco's chest.

Ever since, Jinx has made it her hobby to observe (M/n) and his character. He looked really scary and intimidating when he went with Silco to arrange some business or get rid of some... nonnecessities.

With Sevika he was so chill and outgoing, it surprised her, since (M/n) was more the kind to be more reserved and quiet. With the rest he was kind of nonchalant, he mostly ignored them.

When it came to her, (M/n) would be a little hostile but not aggressive. He was the passive-aggressive type with her. To Jinx it was kinda funny, especially when she saw a completely different and unexpected side of him when he was alone with Silco.

Holding in her amused chuckles, she watches from up top how (M/n) grabs the syringe that contains the healing properties that shimmer has, and he slightly pushes Silco's chair, making him lean back on it. Jinx stared at them, noticing the soft and gentle touches (M/n) placed on Silco's skin and hair, he didn't even seem like the man that could kill people without blinking.

His expression looked sweet, his eyes had a loving shine to them as he leaned closer to Silco with the syringe, Jinx almost couldn't believe what she was seeing.

(M/n) was in love with Silco, and only god knows for how long!

She found it kinda cute but also, it was something she could use to tease the man every chance she got. Well, even if she had fun staring at (M/n)'s flustered expression whenever she mentioned something Silco did, she still tried to help him win her father over.

Usually, she would change the subject, turning Silco's attention away from her and placing on something (M/n) did that day, subtly even asking what he thought of said male. Jinx always had her eyes staring at Silco every time he thought about (M/n), a mischievous grin on her face whenever she heard saw his face getting a gentle look on it, the glint of a smile tugging at his lips.

"(M/n) is very important to me, Jinx, you already know this," she chuckled and nodded, getting off the desk and heading to the door.

"You're extremely important to (M/n) too~" she sang before leaving the office and walking towards her room.

Silco was left alone in his office, picking his cigar from the ashtray, taking a deep breath of it, and releasing rings of smoke after holding it for a couple of seconds. He felt a bit flustered by his daughter's questions, a foreign shiver going down his spine along with the accelerating beating of his heart. He thought he got over his feeling long ago.

He stopped seeing (M/n) like a kid when he swung that pipe at Vander's back, taking care of him whenever he was in pain, the mutation in his eyes making him clench his jaw from the pain. (M/n) was able to find a doctor, who had been experimenting with shimmer and he created a syringe that contained what he needed to keep the mutation from spreading. Silco saw (M/n) as the man he was, he saw him grow into the fine man he is nowadays.

But there was always something at the back of his mind that stopped him from moving further in their relationship. Being nine years older, Silco couldn't help but think of himself as disgusting, having those kinds of thoughts and fantasies about a teenager. Even now, despite knowing that (M/n) was now a full-fledged adult... there still was something that prevented him from acting on his desires.

Now, he kinda regrets holding back.

Both he and (M/n) were in his office, both with a glass of whisky that Jinx poured them, they drank it and chatted like they used to do before Silco became the busy man he now is. But soon enough Silco started feeling a little dizzy, his eyelids feeling heavy. (M/n) noticed and he quickly sat his glass down, but he couldn't get a single word out when his vision started getting blurry, the last the saw was Jinx's frown as he fell unconscious on the couch.

The moment he started gaining counsiounes, (M/n) tried to move, only to feel the tight hold of the rope around him, his eyes open, only to realize he was tied to a chair and at a table. His eyes looked around and saw who he recognized as Vi, Jinx's older sister. He noticed two empty chairs, one of them spelled 'Powder', while the other said 'Jinx', a replica of her childhood friends were there too, and to his left, was a still passed out Silco.

Everything was chaos, (M/n) at some point wasn't even listening anymore, not even flinching at the sounds of their screams, even Silco was trying to get his attention, but he didn't even notice, only thinking and wondering. Why did this have to come to this? And all because of a fucked up eighteen-year-old girl?

However, despite him ignoring what was happening, the sound of bullets snapped him back to reality. Caitlyn was out of the rope and muffle, currently holding onto Jinx's Gatling gun. The long-haired girl had set her gun down on the table, close enough for Silco to pick it up. As soon as Jinx jumped on Caitlyn, he did.

But pointing it at Vi was a bad decision, and the braided girl reacted to that.

Amid Jinx losing control, (M/n) could only stare as a few bullets flew in the direction of Silco, piercing his skin open and burying themselves deep in his chest, proceeding to go through the chair.

He saw and heard Jinx crouching in front of him, muttering no's and I'm sorry's at him, her hands holding his face.

"I never would've given you to them... not for anything," He said in a low voice, almost like a whisper, watching as Jinx's pink eyes got filled with tears, "Don't cry, you're perfect..." Silco tried to move to face (M/n), "Take care... of her, (M/n)..." And like that, his eyes lost any kind of shine they had in them.

(M/n) felt his blood boil with rage, he always tried to tell the man how troublesome and dangerous Jinx is, but the man never listened, even so, he didn't blame Silco for not believing him, he looked genuinely happy raising the girl. And now, he was a witness to what taking Jinx in caused.

With (e/c) eyes filled with tears, (M/n) didn't think twice before using his magic. That same magic that saved Silco's life so many years ago.

The black crystal hanging from his neck started emanating a black mist that slowly covered his body, burning the rope on its way. Jinx backed away from Silco's limp body and had a small talk with her older sister, picking the chair that said Jinx to sit down, before deciding the next thing she was gonna do, remembering where she left her new weapon.

(M/n) just ignored her and rushed to kneel on the cold ground that was slowly being covered by Silco's blood, he lifted his hands and gently cupped the man's emotionless face in his hands, a few tears ran down his cheeks as he felt his heart breaking at the sight, he buried his face on Silco's chest and cried for a couple of seconds, but he took a deep breath and soon backed away, focusing on what he wanted to do.

Releasing his face, (M/n) placed both of his hands over Silco's heart. Vi stared at him as that same black mist began moving away from his body and surrounding Silco's, Jinx didn't notice any of that happening, too busy arguing with the voices inside her head.

(M/n) struggled as he tried to keep his emotions stable, praying to whatever god that ever existed that he could bring Silco back to life. It was at this moment, that he didn't care about anyone knowing he can use magic, that he was a mage or a sorcerer, he just wanted to feel Silco's steady breathing and his heart beating again.

Silco had always told him about his left eye. He wondered about how he could still see out of it, and (M/n) was never able to tell him the truth. His magic was weak and unstable back then, countless times he thought that he shouldn't have done anything, since he had to suffer those injections of shimmer straight into his pupil, if he wouldn't attempt to heal him, he would've lost his eye, but then he remembered the mutation and how it could've been worse then, so he never doubted his actions ever again.

At this moment, he wanted to heal Silco, he wanted him back, and the only thing he was regretting at this moment was something simple.

He wished he could've told him his feelings, confessed his love for him, and maybe, just maybe, Silco would've reciprocated them, but now that seemed like nothing else but a distant dream.

(M/n) remembered his parents as he used his magic, he recalled how they were doctors for people that lived in The Lanes and, practically everyone from Zaun, which made (M/n) able to use mostly healing magic, so he was confident right now.

The black mist that surrounded Silco's body burned the rope he was still tied with. He heard a scream and when he glanced up, he saw Jinx with the shark-shaped weapon she created, shooting a blue laser beam directly into the counsel's meeting room, he closed his eyes and, as he was about to give up with Silco, he heard him taking a short breath in before sighing.

(M/n) bit his tongue to prevent himself from crying out happiness, he wasn't quite sure if his magic worked so he, carefully, picked up his body in his arms. He stood up, ready to leave and take care of Silco on his own, when he made eye contact with Vi who was still tied to the chair, her eyes shifting between him and Caitlyn who was unconscious on the floor. Letting out a subtle sigh, (M/n) used his magic to burn the rope around Vi's body, before proceeding to heal Caitlyn enough to wake her up and make her able to stand properly without help.

Vi hugged her as soon as she worked up, and she helped her get up.

Both of them stared worriedly at the black mist on them, but soon relaxed when they were able to freely move again.

Just in time for Jinx to start groaning, holding her head as her stance became wobbly, and she started falling.

Vi reached her just in time before she hit the hard, cold floor, Caitlyn helped her and they stared at (M/n), who was too busy observing Silco's chest rising and lowering with every breath he took. He was still unconscious and he doubted the man would wake up any time soon.

"Let's go back, I need to... get them healed," Vi and Caitlyn looked at each other, before the pink-haired girl lowered her stance to pick her sister up in her arms. They followed (M/n), who somehow seemed to know where they were, and slowly, but surely, reached The Last Drop.

They had been ignoring everyone's stares on them, too scared to ask what had happened.

With the banging sound of the bar door opening, everyone inside quieted down in an instant. Sevika, who had been taken to Singed and had her new arm on, rushed to them and tried to see what was wrong with her boss.

(M/n) just glanced at her, before looking behind her at the girls, "You have two choices, Vi." The pink-haired girl seemed kinda taken aback when she heard her name being called, "You can give Jinx to Sevika and I can help her, or you leave with her, but you have to give her to the Enforcers, she... has quite a number of people she's killed, mostly topsiders." Vi stared at Caitlyn, who kind of seemed to not know what to do, "Piltover and Zaun are gonna be at war because of what she's done, unless, to bring her to them."

After some minutes of thinking, Sevika was now walking up the stairs behind him, Jinx threw over her shoulder like a potato sack. (M/n) wasn't exactly happy with Vi's decision, but he couldn't give Jinx over to the Enforcers, Silco would never forgive him if he did.

Walking past Silco's office, he headed to his room, stepped in, and lay the man on his bed, making sure to be as gentle as he could. Sevika stood by the door, unsure of what she should do, but (M/n) only gestured at the couch. She ser Jinx down and waited for a new order from the man.

(M/n) took Silco's vest and shirt off, feeling his back gently, gracing the hole the bullets left when they went through his body, he was kind of glad about that since he won't be having to take the bullets out.

"Sevika," the woman looked at him with a serious expression, responding with a loud and clear 'Yes, sir?' "Get me some alcohol, gauzes, some thread, and a needle, I need to... sew his wounds," the black-haired woman nodded before rising out the door. As soon as (M/n) heard her going down the stairs, he turned to hold Silco's face in his hands, "You're gonna be okay, I'll take care of you."

Leaning closer, he pressed a single peck on his bloodied lips, tears threatening to fall again but he held them in. He lifted his hand to move his hair away from his face, suddenly glancing at Jinx when he heard her moving, however, she was still knocked out.

"I'm sorry about the noises that would come soon, Silco... we might be at war with Piltover now, Jinx... ruined the deal you made with Hextech's founder, I'll find a quiet room just for you," he whispered to him, holding his cold hand in his.

He could've sworn he felt Silco tightening his hold, but Sevika just walked in with everything he asked her, and he wasn't really sure if that actually happened.

Right now, he just knew that he had to be the leader for the people of Zaun since the war was sure to break, and he had to take care of Silco until he wakes up.

#arcane #silco #silco x male reader #male reader #one shot #reader insert #x reader #silco x reader #angst #silco arcane #arcane x reader #arcane x male reader #.mackjlee9 writes

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rwprincess · 3 years ago

Text

Set Me Free (Angsty/Unrequited BenderxReader)

Masterlist

Word Count: 4.9K

A/N: This is definitely A/U or non-canonical even though it’s the specific reader from my series. I like Bender being fully platonic and brotherly towards that reader, but this idea would not leave me alone and here we are. And I spent far too long mulling on this. Apparently I started this in OCTOBER?

Synopsis: It didn’t start this way, but John’s never been taken care of or cared for before. He can’t help but fall for Y/N, even though he knows she is very much taken. Inspired by/follows the lyrics of Free by Graffiti6.

CW: Vulnerable!Bender, Love triangle angst, swearing, child abuse by parents

Bender was more suspicious than ever, waiting for the other shoe to drop. He had never had life so good. It was sheer luck that Y/N had been given detention for something as stupid as stealing biology lab frogs and that she had chosen to become his friend. She sought him out and took him in at his darkest hour and had been nothing but kind. And now, he had been living with her and her mom for months, with the latter helping him work towards becoming emancipated from his parents. Y/N’s mom was a social worker and knew all the right forms to fill out and people to talk to and the years of abuse John had endured made this an open-and-shut case. Now it was a matter of getting through the red tape and waiting, but she could almost guarantee him that he would be free of them, legally, soon enough. They hadn’t really cared to follow up or find out where he was before.

He hadn’t been home since April, but they didn’t take note of him until they were served with court papers. They still didn’t know where he now lived, but they could still find him. And maybe this was what that feeling of impending doom was leading to, his father bursting through the doors of Bert’s Auto Shop with court papers in hand, screaming at John. Per usual, John just shut down. The less emotion he showed, the better. It was never worth arguing back to his father, but especially not now at his place of business. He was more embarrassed than anything. Usually his father kept these kinds of ‘interactions’ private. But since he didn’t have that setting to control John anymore, he must have figured he’d attack him in a place he couldn’t just escape. Luckily, Bert had broken it up and escorted Mr. Bender out of the shop before it escalated too much, but John still feared going home that evening. Usually, Y/N would pick him up, but he didn’t trust that his dad wouldn’t wait for him after work, and he didn’t want her to be a part of it in any way. He was not about to put her in danger.

He had one of his coworkers take him home after a rather uncomfortable talk with Bert. He was grateful that the man was understanding, rather than finding Bender’s family drama to be a burden on his business. He wanted to make sure that John felt safe and that his father wouldn’t return. He even posed to call the cops, but John declined for now. Bert insisted that the next instance, he would. He would not have his ‘business ruined or his employees harassed,’ as he had put it. Bender thanked him for his support, surprised that he seemed to care enough to do so, to protect him rather than just fire him and wash his hands of the whole situation. He kept up his tough exterior and showed little-to-no emotion until he got home.

He didn’t bother turning on the main room’s light and slumped on the couch and placed his head in his hands, finally letting it all hit him. The fear and hatred towards his father, the despair in how unfair his whole life had been and how, even when things were turning around, he couldn’t escape his family. He couldn’t contain the sobs that now ripped through his body and shook his shoulders. “John?” He heard Y/N creak gently down the stairs and call his name, voice laced with worry. “John, are you okay?” She asked, turning on the light. Immediately, she could see that he was not. She heard the choked whimper rise in his throat and rushed over to sit next to him. Generally, he hated being touched. Years of being beaten made him hesitant to have another’s hands on him...unless it was in a sexual way, initiated by him. So she hovered for a moment before placing her hand on his shoulder. “What’s wrong? What’s happened?” He looked up to her wide, worried eyes searching his face. Looking back on it now, this was when the other shoe dropped. This was the exact moment where everything changed in how he saw her and his feelings for her shifted. The fact that she was there for him, big eyes filled with concern, carefully touching him so as not to startle him or remind him of all the unwelcome touches that ‘family’ had meant before, and that he didn’t push her away. He wanted her company and wanted to tell her what happened.

All he was able to get out though, was, “My old man showed up at work,” before his voice became strangled and he broke down again. For a moment, she was startled. She hadn’t expected such a thing to happen, for his dad to show up in public like that, to follow him? It made her fear for his safety, not even realizing that he had told her not to pick him up to protect herself and her mother.

Even though it was a lie, something she couldn’t know for certain, she told him, “Shh...it’s going to be okay. Everything will be alright.” She extended her touch to wrap an arm around his shoulders, and without thinking about it, acting entirely on instinct, he dropped his head into her shoulder.

If I lay my head down on you, would it be, would it be too late?

He thought about it all night. The whole ordeal. He thought every creak or every car door slam would be his dad finding out where he was. He also racked his brain with what happened with Y/N. He didn’t cry in front of anyone. Ever. Not only did he have a reputation to protect, but if he acted like he was unaffected, it was easier to lie to himself and say he wasn’t hurting. But he had let himself hurt with her. He was openly vulnerable and that had never happened before; however, somehow he knew he was safe with her. The first day he met her, she had made him feel that way. She was the only one who reached out to him after he told them about his family, and she had weaseled her way into every facet of his life and showed him she wasn’t leaving. He’d been obnoxious, crude, and had said some nasty, hurtful things to her in the past, but she still fought to be his friend. She even took him into her home and here he was, staring at the concrete ceiling of the basement from his bed that her mother had purchased for him. He tried not to be troublesome to them. Even though he was afraid that something would happen, because that’s how his life worked, and normally he would sabotage it himself rather than feel the pain of rejection from them for something he couldn’t control, he didn’t want to screw this opportunity up. He had a great deal of respect for Y/N’s mother and obeyed all of her rules and kept his nose clean thus far. He knew he had annoyed Y/N and bothered her, but never to the point of her putting true distance between them. She always had his best interests first and kept him on a good path, and even when she was mad at him, he realized that she still cared.

Cuz' you were my protection, from the rain inside

Made me feel loved like the old days, yeah

She loved him, and he realized now that he truly loved her too. But he didn’t know what to do about that. There was no point to it, of course. She was entirely infatuated with Johnson, and he couldn’t go about ruining his opportunity to live here or her trust in him and their friendship. It was his fault, anyway. He should have known since that first day, really. He thought she was a babe, and she was the only one to follow him, to share her lunch with him, to try to make things right. But then he had kissed Claire and liked the challenge and dismissed Y/N. When she reached out to him that first day after, at school, he’d made fun of her for having a ‘crush’ on him (which he knew now he was entirely wrong about), and told her that he’d rather be with Claire. He’d ruined any chance of her ever seeing him that way. And then, when she tried to be friends afterward, he told her that she was a ‘fake bitch.’ He was surprised she would still give him the time of day, let alone a place to live.

But I can't blame you, baby it's me that'd done wrong

Cuz' I broke the skies that shine above.

Of course, that was a mistake, obviously. He and Claire had fizzled out over the first week of summer vacation. She had exciting journeys to go on that only the wealthy elite like her family could afford, and apparently her whole ‘don’t you believe in one-guy, one-girl’ philosophy crumbled when the prospect of suntanned summer flings on beaches was introduced. They were hot and heavy and bent the social landscape while they were in school, but now he was left all alone. It killed him that Brian Johnson was seeing someone and that he, John Bender, was alone. Now that he was reflecting on it in the silence and solitude of his own room, though, it dawned on him that there was a bigger reason that it bothered him. It wasn’t so much that Brian was dating someone and he wasn’t; it was that Brian was dating her. She was two floors above him and belonged to someone else. Hell, he had even helped her get in that relationship. He was constantly grossed out by the two of them flirting or being cuddly, or whatever. Now it all clicked why. He felt like an idiot, denying his own feelings even to himself. He was in love with her, and there was nothing to be done about it.

But I can't live, oh without you, without you,

And it's hard to breathe when you're not near

He tossed and turned for hours, alternating thoughts between the altercation with his dad and his suppressed feelings for Y/N coming to light. As early morning rays dawned through the small window that led to the backyard, he gave up on sleep and wandered upstairs. He bummed around in the kitchen for a bit and was startled out of his skin when he closed the fridge and saw her standing there. “Are you okay? You look terrible.” She said, without hesitation or pleasantries.

“And here I thought I was quite the looker.” He joked, but her disquieted expression didn’t waver. “I didn’t mean to wake you,” he told her, apologetically.

“That’s okay. I wasn’t really asleep anyway. I was worried about you,” she replied earnestly.

“Ohhhh. That’s why you look like shit, like me.” He cracked another joke, trying to hide the feelings that were now obvious to him.

“Ha-ha. Very nice,” she said back, sarcastically. “Do you think...do you think you’re going to be okay? Stupid question, I know. Of course not, but--”

“No, I will. It’s just. Well, right now I don’t know too much and I keep expecting him to show up, out of the blue. He did yesterday, y’know? And I’d hate for him to show up here.” He watched as the color drained from her face. In her worrying about him, she clearly had not thought about that possibility or what it would mean for her or her mom. “I don’t think he will!” He quickly added, “I don’t think there’s any danger. It’ll---it’ll be okay, Y/N.” He realized how much he hated scaring her like that, and how much he hated the possibility that he could be putting her in danger.

“I think we should talk to mom, then,” she swallowed hard, “she should know if there’s even a chance he could…” She trailed off, not wanting to think about it and John nodded. They decided to wait for her to wake up by sitting on the couch in silence. Both had too much on their minds to speak, but in that comfortable, safe silence, John was actually able to drift off to sleep. He had stretched out with his feet dangling off the arm of the couch, head originally propped up in one of his hands, but as he nodded off, it dropped down to her thigh and he unwittingly made her into his pillow. She looked down at John, still troubled by everything, but found some solace in the fact that he could have a moment of peace.

But I can't lie here beside you, beside you,

Cuz' you steal my soul when you leave

Set me free baby, set me free.

Of course, her mom was worried that his parents might come after them at any time, if they discovered where they were. She tried to be reasonable and said she would pull some strings to obtain a protection order against them as soon as possible. John was shocked that she didn’t immediately make him pack his bags to protect herself and her daughter. He thought maybe she just didn’t know what kind of people she would potentially be dealing with, so he asked her outright if she wanted him to leave. “No, John, of course not. We are your family now, they’re not going to take you or drive you out.”

“But, Y/M/N, you don’t know what they’re like, what he might do--”

“John, I have lots of experience with this and with people just like your father. Ones that shouldn’t have children but will fight to keep them.”

“I know he doesn’t care about me, but I think with the legal stuff he---” John began, but she interrupted.

“People have all sorts of reasons that they fight it. Shame, money, control. I’ve seen it all. And I am here to protect both of you from that.” And that drew the conversation to a close; fine-point, done. He knew that she was resolved in this and that both she and Y/N would be there for him, to back him up. It was an odd feeling, being held up by people who were strangers to him mere months ago while his own flesh and blood could give two shits about him.

I need someone to hold me, wrap their arms and

Embrace the air I breathe.

What he hadn’t counted on, was the others rallying around him as well. Allison knew all about negligent parents and offered to talk him through his problems, and to take him to more dive-bar concerts to get his mind off of everything. Even Andrew stepped up and offered him to stay at his house if things ever got worrisome at Y/N’s, or if his dad found that location. The one that bothered him most, of course, was Brian. It made him feel extra skeevy to feel the way he did about Y/N when Johnson was being so…nice to him. He knew he was a nice guy naturally, a meek little geek and that this wasn’t a put-on or anything, but that really only made it sting more.

John had come home from work and opened the front door to the two of them curled up on the couch, intertwined. Their relationship had bothered him from day one. At the beginning, Bender always swore that it was just their will-they-won’t-they aggravating crap that annoyed him. Then it bothered him that a dork like Johnson had Y/N wrapped around his finger without even knowing, even trying. To John, she should have been so out of his league. He tried to shrug it off as some cosmic imbalance, like his relationship with Claire; something that just ‘happened,’ but it was clear how head-over-heels Y/N was for Brian. It wasn’t a fluke, and for a while, he rationalized that he was just nauseated by the over-the-top lovey dovey thing they had between him. Now, he knew better. He was instantly filled with jealousy, seeing Brian’s arms looped around her, holding her in a way he would never have the opportunity to. She scooted off his lap (another blow to Bender’s ego) and Brian stood up to approach him.

“Hey,” he started softly, and Bender couldn’t help but feel patronized. Like Johnson thought he was talking to some little kid or something, “Y/N told me what happened. I’m so sorry. That sounds awful.”

“It is.” John agreed, a snapping tone in his voice.

“Well, if you need anything--”

“Oh yeah, I’ll be sure to ask you.” Bender scoffed and pushed past him, heading down to his room in the basement. He didn’t even look at Y/N as Johnson returned to her side, looking shocked and wounded. No doubt he’d receive her comfort, her reassurance. Sickening.

Cuz' you were my shelter,

Now the heart you hold is somebody else's, baby

He was lying on his bed, absentmindedly throwing a tennis ball up into the air and catching it, trying to void the thoughts that overwhelmed him. He was so focused on trying to be unfocused, to blur out the thoughts in his racing mind, that he didn’t hear the footsteps descending the stairs until it was too late to try and hide. It had been over an hour; he thought he was safe. But no, he could hear her boldly coming down the stairs, which meant that she wasn’t concerned about disturbing him.

“John! What in the hell was that all about?” She wasted no time and dove in. He didn’t bother to act coy and pretend he didn’t know what she was talking about, nor did he look at her. Another toss of the ball was all the attention he paid.

“What? Are Johnson’s feelings hurt because I didn’t want his ‘help’?” Bender spit out the last word sarcastically.

“I mean, yeah! At least he made the effort, John!”

“No one asked him to.”

“No, but he did so because he cares about you.” She pressed on, and he finally sat up and looked at her. Arms crossed over her chest, trying to look upset and intimidating and failing miserably. It was like some little animal that carried no threat whatsoever. A duckling, maybe. Almost cute in her failure to be scary.

“No,” he said stiffly, laced with anger, “he cares about you.”

“Fine, but then by extension, he cares about you,” she gestured in his direction.

“Wrong again, Pipsqueak. He only ‘offered’ to put on a show for you. Which, it wasn’t really even an offer. There were no specifics, no actual help being given.” He gave her a blank stare as she glared back, but there was really no flaw in his logic, nor was there any point in trying to convince him otherwise.

After a moment of dead air between them with her trying to size him up and figure out what he wasn’t saying, she said, “Well, whatever. It was rude. You could at least have just said thank you and moved on.”

“Oh, I moved on. Didn’t you see me walk down here?” He scoffed, “And what do I owe him any thanks for? Anyway, I’m sure he’ll live without it. Fuckin’ golden child that he is.” He laid back down and tossed the ball again, trying to dismiss her, but that of course just lit a fire under her.

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

“It means that Johnson has it good. He’s just fine without any applause and gratitude from me. He has both of his parents, and sure they get their panties in a twist if he brings home a B, but are they threatening his life for it? Your life for it?” He reminded her of his father’s vow to find him and bring him down, regardless if Y/N was in the way. She let out a small, surprised gasp, but he continued, “No, they don’t. He has them, he has other friends, he has you--” he caught himself a moment too late and winced at his words.

“John,” her voice softened and she approached his bed. He could feel it dip down as she sat on the edge of it. He threw the ball once more, but gravity didn’t bring it back to him. She had intercepted it, forcing all of his attention to be on her. He looked up reluctantly. “You have me, too, you know. I’m here for you.”

“It’s not the same,” he grunted, sitting up and snatching the ball out of her hand, symbolically taking back his power in this conversation. “I’m sure your ways of ‘being there’ for me are very different from the ways you’re ‘there’ for him.” He rolled his eyes, lying back down with a huff. He didn’t toss the ball again, afraid she’d be able to take it, so he just rolled it between his palms, trying to focus on the sensation of its fuzz on his skin rather than his racing heartbeat or the words that kept unintentionally leaping out of his mouth.

“I don’t know that I really like the implication, John.” She said, that hint of anger returning to her voice, “I’m sorry that you’re single right now and you don’t feel ‘supported’ in that way,” she made air quotes with her fingers, “but it isn’t really fair to bring me into that.”

“It’s not about being single,” he sighed, annoyed.

“Then what? Because there has to be some reason you’re distancing yourself from your friends and lashing out at Brian.”

“Pfft. If I were lashing out at Johnson, he’d fucking know it.”

“John--” she started in a warning tone and he waved her off, “Fine. Don’t tell me. Just sit down here all alone and be angry. Cut us off.” She stood up and made her way to the stairs, “You know where to find me if you change your mind.”

As he heard her footsteps retreating, he stopped rolling the ball. Even when she was mad at him, even when he insulted her boyfriend and made seedy implications about the two of them…even then, she still offered to be there for him and didn’t leave without letting him know he could count on her. It should be reassuring, but it only made things worse.

“Fuck,” he whispered tearfully and threw the ball at the wall.

Now I can't make you love me baby, if you don't.

But I stay in love, in love, with you.

Oh yes I do.

It was a weakness, he knew, but he caved anyway. He approached her bedroom door and knocked quietly. She opened it not thirty seconds later. Again, always there to count on. Her eyes looked at him softly, full of understanding and patience. He couldn’t meet them. He brushed past her and into her room, silently. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled after a moment. She looked at him, studied him.

“Do you know what for? Or are you just saying that?” She asked, skeptically. Being emotionally sincere and apologetic was not what Bender was known for. He would tell it to you straight, sure, but the ‘real’ things, he buried deep down and tried to hide.

“I’m not just saying that. I’m sorry for shutting you out and not really talking to you.” He swallowed hard, and just to lighten the mood, “And for making your boyfriend cry.” She just rolled her eyes.

“You did not make him cry. He was a little upset, but I think he was more worried about you than hurt by it.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“And you know, he doesn’t have it as easy as you think he does. I thought…I thought you knew that. That you remembered how bad it was for him.” She looked off, thinking of the memory, and he could tell by the expression on her face that it pained her. “I thought you understood because you’d been there, too.”

“Yeah. I know. But-” he took a deep, shaky breath in, trying to ground himself, “it’s hard to remember when all this other shit is going on, you know? But I didn’t mean to piss you off with it. I just…got all caught up in it, I guess.”

“I know you’re worried, and that things are hard for you. That they’re always hard for you. But, we all mean well. We can only help if you let us, even if it’s in some small way.”

“I know, that’s why I’m sorry. You’ve already done so much for me and…it’s really not fair for me to expect more.” His voice got quieter and quieter the longer he went on, ending in a tone that was just above a whisper. He knew he shouldn’t want more from her, that she’d given so much and that if he said anything, if his feelings just leaked out, he might scare her off. She’d run and he’d be homeless, friendless, and--and without her. He gulped at the thought.

But I can't live, oh without you, without you,

And it's hard to breathe when you're not near

“John?” She noticed the change in his demeanor, his sudden silence. She could see him physically push his emotions down. She’d seen him swallow them many times, bury them in the pit of his stomach where they either brewed into a fiery anger or distilled into nothingness. “Are you okay?”

“Not really.” He shook his head, but didn’t add anything more.

“Is it about your dad? Because you know mom will do everything in her power to--”

“No,” he whispered, “It’s not that. I don’t---I can’t. Just, pay me no mind. I just, I came to apologize and I did.”

“I know you.” She said, voice unwavering, “you also came to talk. I told you that if you changed your mind, to come find me. That’s also why you’re here, right?” He remained silent, and she took his hand gently, “Talk to me.”

He wasn’t sure he could think, let alone talk with her palm gently passing over his, delicately taking his fingers and holding him so lightly, with such kindness. Kindness he wasn’t sure he deserved. All of their relationship, he only did things to push her away, and when she offered him a home, shelter, he had to go and fall in love with her and hide his scummy longing to be with her from her and her boyfriend, who was also eternally nice to Bender. He was the worst, but she integrated him into her family. What could he say to her? Surely the truth would disgust her and make her want nothing else to do with him; he’d completely break her trust. But, he feared, he couldn’t let her go.

Don't you know that I can't, no I can't, live, oh without you,

and it's hard to breathe when you're not near

Oh yes it is!

“I don’t know what to say. Or how to say it. Can we--can we just sit? Be silent for a bit?”

“Sure. I mean, if you think you’re capable. I know you never shut up,” she teased and poked him with her free hand, earning the slightest upward twitch from his lips, indicating a fleeting smile. They just took a seat on her floor, he picked at the rug, debating with himself to tell the truth or to hide in the lie. They stayed like that for a long time before breaking into conversation about something else, something trivial. The air still felt heavy around Bender, burdened with words he left unspoken and feelings he left unknown. No, it was probably better to just stuff them down, just like everything else he ever felt that was ‘inconvenient.’ What she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her, and maybe he’d grow out of those feelings and put them aside.

They readjusted and were lying next to each other, as if they were looking at the constellations, but instead they were staring at her white popcorn ceiling. She had her arms crossed carelessly, comfortably, about her stomach. They talked about everything, but only superficially, so it was really about nothing. He watched her movements and expressions and noted how their shoulders touched, that they were connected, as always. He knew he’d regret simple moments like this, because they only drew him in further. He could feel his heart ache more, particularly when he thought that he’d eventually have to get up and leave, to go to his own room alone and fall asleep in the cold dark, only dreaming of her. For now, he tried to shove that aside and enjoy the moment, to laugh at her story, to act as though everything were normal.

But I can't lie here beside you, besides you,

Cuz you steal my soul when you leave

Set me free babe, set me free babe.

#benderxreader #breakfast club #the breakfast club #john bender x reader #fem!reader #80s #80s movies #angst #angst fic #love triangle #unreciprocated love #unrequited crush #songfic #brian johnson #brian johnson x reader

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daily-dipcifica-doodles · 3 years ago

Note

If your Tangled AU includes TTS- I NEED to know who fills the role of sweet angsty baby Varian

great question HJDFKJDS I don't think I'll be able to make everyone fit into each role very neatly though :O because of many, many technicalities such as: pacifica is closer to, say, cassandra and dipper is a bit more believable as varian but they're current roles are as rapunzel and eugene, the overall existence of the stan brothers, pacifica's actual parents being more believable as gothel than as the king and queen etc. etc. etc.

BUT the nice thing about aus is the improvization and adaptation!! i don't know how much i'll be able to actually ponder on it drawing-wise before my next break but i can tell you i'm not gonna be following canon religiously cause that would not fit with the characters we have inserted into this universe

ah also, i might be disregarding part of the series canon from the finale of s2 til the end of the series oops - i've been in the fandom since 2018 before s2 was even out so i have. a lot of opinions on some things lol esp since i saw them happen in real time and have been active in discussions about them

with all that being said,

>:D

here's a bit of my current ideas for who's who in this and what they're doing sdfdsjkds

note: these are very much a work-in-progress hah

gonna put it under a [keep reading] cause it's a lot - never ask me about my opinions or ideas i have too many always forever and i will talk your ears off about them if given the opportunity

so i already established that pacifica fills rapunzel's general role and dipper fills eugene's, but i never specified if i was gonna follow canon much or not ;) well i'm gonna be moving some stuff around

remember lance strongbow? and how he's very much not there in the movie cause him and eugene separated and only reunited in season 1 of the series?

well that's mabel's overall role, minus some of the separation and obv her own personality dsfhjds

i'm not gonna poke the series much yet in this post but movie-wise, my plan is for mabel and dipper to both be thieves, running away from the royal guards cause they stole the crown

no maximus involved unfortunately

they split up and make the guards think mabel has the crown so that they follow her, but in reality the crown's with dipper who ends up at the tower where pacifica convinces him to take her to the lanterns

and they meet again when they've almost reached the kingdom - around where rapunzel and eugene met maximus again

so yeah mabel's gonna be more prominent than lance or max ended up being canonically JFSFKL (even though i'm so sad lance in particular didn't end up doing that much... lance my beloved why would they do that to you)

also mabel will end up filling most of cassandra's role as rapunzel's best friend cause i love mabel and pacifica as best friends they're very good sue me

bill is zhan tiri. who else could he be.

wendy's gonna be more or less filling cassandra's role as the daughter of the royal guard, b u t

one, i already established that mabel's gonna be the best friend so wendy will still be a friend! just not as close to pacifica as cassandra was to rapunzel

and two, I'm definitely not keeping Moonsandra's motivations in mind and none of the whole moonsandra drama

could wendy take the moonstone? yeah but she's not gonna become a villain from it unless i involve actual corruption in there which. is an idea but i haven't thought far enough to consider it properly yet lol so

(i love moonsandra but i just can't view her as the same character cassandra was, and in relation to wendy i feel like that just would Not work)

soos is gonna be a member of the royal guard (think - stan and pete), but his overall presence in the story is gonna be closer to shorty, not in his contributions but in how often he appears DJDSLK

shorty is in like every episode it's insane, he's everywhere

candy and grenda might be ladies in waiting too but i think they could also be from the snuggly duckling since they can't NOT be mabel's best friends

aaand that's everyone i'm p much certain on

i don't know who mother gothel could be - pacifica's parents in canon are closer to gothel than to fred and arianna but making them the latter would mean there would be a lot of drama and angst which would be interesting to explore :O however mother gothel could also be the witch lady that stole hands, yknow the one - but that might be confusing so hhh?

and i also don't know who the stans might be - i could make quirin stanley and king edmund stanford, but in that case i would have to figure out if dipper and mabel ran away from home, if they are orphans, or if stanley will become an accidental father figure in their lives dsifjdsndsd

and what would gideon be doing? could he be related to saporia? how would he get involved with bill? could he be a disciple? or should he fill varian's initial role of season 1 villain

there's a lot to consider : O and i haven't had a lot of time to REALLY think about it all lol

and that's uh all my thoughts so far lmao if you got this far i am impressed sdjfkjl i rambled a lot

if you have any ideas please let me know? i wouldn't mind more opinions on this since it's just me thinking about a Lot of things sdjfdskjdsk

that's all, mwah, see ya later when i post for the day

#asks #tangled au #should i keep this as a tag? hm

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shig-a-shig-ah · 4 years ago

Note

Please I'm on my hands and knees begging for some kind of angst/comfort or whatever sequel to Solace what do I have to pay to see it at last

You know what, anon? Fuck it—ask and you shall receive.

DISCOMFIT ━ PART 2 OF SOLACE

» pairing: dabi x fem!reader, previous shigaraki tomura x reader

» cw: noncon, free use (mostly implied/referenced), implied anal, mentions of cheating, little bit of comfort, whole lot of angst. 18+, minors DNI.

» a/n: This picks up exactly where Solace left off, and isn’t exactly canon-compliant because the war arc hadn’t ended when I first posted Solace. It’s also more angsty than smutty, but def still NSFW. As always, reblogs, replies, etc. are welcome <3

» wc: 5.3k

» ao3 mirror

Like my work? Support me on Ko-fi or request a commission.

There's lead in Dabi's stomach as Shigaraki drags you towards the door, and he's already scrambling to tug on his sweats, staggering to his feet as though he could effectively intervene. He'd heard the threats hissed in your ear, the ones scattered among the taunts Dabi had tried so hard to counter with his own exaltations, but he hadn't been prepared for them to be genuine, had thought that in the end Shigaraki would view your shame as his own. That he wouldn't want to make this betrayal public, not really.

Apparently, Dabi was wrong.

When you're hauled across the threshold, he falters. The thought of your imminent defilement is enough to make him feel sick, bile rising at the back of his throat as his gut twists; he doesn't think he could bear to witness such a desecration. But in the end he also doesn't have a choice—Shigaraki pauses in the doorway, his vicious gaze fixing on Dabi as he gives the order. "You're coming too."

Dabi's throat tightens, because he knows there's no use trying to oppose Shigaraki's will, not with his newfound power. And there's no clemency in the man's burning red eyes, no hints that Tomura has doubts about his chosen retribution, nothing at all to give Dabi hope that perhaps the pale-haired man can be dissuaded from this corrective action.

So Dabi swallows back that bitter taste in his mouth, and he follows.

***

Your heart is in your throat as you're dragged into the hall for the second time, only vaguely aware of Dabi trailing behind, failing to interfere though you don't blame him for that, could never condemn him when this is so much more your fault than his. Had you ever really thought you could gladden yourself with Dabi's comfort and then return unscathed to Shigaraki's arms?

You're loud at first, and desperate. You rake at Tomura's forearm as you try to free yourself from his bruising grip, clawing until red droplets are blooming from the scratches on his skin and his flesh collects beneath your nails, but those marks knit themselves back together almost as quickly as you carve them in. Your feet scrabble ineffectually against the carpet too, trying to slow Tomura's movements, but all that accomplishes is friction burns when you stumble, collapsing to your knees even as Shigaraki continues his unyielding march, dragging you along without so much as a backwards glance.

You beg shamelessly again too, pleading with him to stop, to not, to simply let you go. You swear that you'll leave, that he'll never have to see you again, but he ignores those cries just as he does your pathetic attempts to grapple yourself free. It isn't until your implorations grow quieter, more disheartened, that he pauses—you're weeping, not even thinking about what you're saying, rash words falling from your lips. "Tomu, please, I'm sorry, it was a mistake. Please, if you ever cared about me, just let me go."

It's then that he freezes in place, every muscle in his body going rigid, the cords in his neck standing out as he whirls around to face you. His eyes are impossibly wide, his mouth twisted in disgust, and something dark flashes behind his expression, something that, but for a moment, makes him look wounded rather than filled with rage. It's gone almost as soon as it comes, replaced by an expression stonier than any he's fixed you with thus far. He spits his retort through gritted teeth, his tone so tight and glacial that it sends a shiver down your exposed spine.

"Who could ever care about a whore like you?"

***

Dabi can see you struggling, tears streaming down your reddened cheeks as you beg, but he hears none of those supplications, hears nothing but blood rushing in his ears and the wet glug of his throat every time he tries to swallow down the lump that has lodged itself there. Just moving forward consumes all his focus; this sprawling mansion may as well extend for miles for all the effort it takes him to continue putting one foot in front of the other as Shigaraki tows you down the hall.

Your grotesque procession ends in the cavernous ballroom on the ground floor. It's ornate even in its empty glory, sunlight streaming through the tall, arched windows and glinting off the crystal of the chandelier that hangs unlit from the ceiling. Dozens of observers trail behind, every inquiring mind that had peered out to investigate the commotion now obeying Shigaraki's commands for them to follow. They're watching warily, whispering behind their hands as their eyes flick curiously from Dabi, shirtless and shaking, to Shigaraki and you.

Dabi comes back into himself when Shigaraki hurls you unceremoniously to the floor, the sharp crack of your head against the hardwood echoing loudly enough to breach the disassociated haze in which he's been trapped. The sight of your face, dazed by the blow, has him instinctually moving forward, but he's stopped at once when a chiseled arm casts itself across his chest, halting his movements. A low growl issues from the back of Shigaraki's throat. "Don't."

It was easier not to protest Shigaraki's rough treatment of you when the three of you were alone in Dabi's bedroom. He'd been able to convince himself then that Shigaraki had some claim on you, some right to do what he was doing, a sense that had been given all the more weight by your own equivocal response to those harsh touches. But the sight of you now, curled on the floor clutching your head, your legs tucked to your chest as though that could somehow preserve your modesty, is harder to abide. It has heat roiling under Dabi's skin, his insides near-roasting as he does his best to restrain himself, to keep emotions too tumultuous to define from bubbling up and setting him alight.

So Dabi looks away. He does his best to tamp down on that growing heat and to endure, to think about the importance of being there for you. After.

Even after Tomura extends his sadistic invitation to the assembled remnants of the Paranormal Liberation Front, Dabi is naive enough at first to hope that no one will take the bait, that even a crowd of villains won't be depraved enough to indulge in what Shigaraki is offering. Except, Dabi had, hadn't he? Had found his own satisfaction in the first part of Shigaraki's punishment, even as you'd wept. He tries to tell himself that was different—he'd already had you, more than once and voluntarily, and you'd asked for him, implored him so desperately that he couldn't have refused, especially not when it was something Shigaraki had been so intent on enacting.

A darker thought flits across the back of Dabi's mind when he remembers the way you'd writhed under Tomura's domineering touch: if Shigaraki insists on it, will you beg here too?

It's a question that goes unanswered. You spend less than a minute sniffling on the floor surrounded by that mob of villains, and then Dabi's glancing up against his better judgement to see Re-Destro stepping forward, dark eyes glinting with curiosity as he shrugs off his suit jacket and loosens his tie, the balding sycophant unabashedly eager to avail himself of Shigaraki's sloppy seconds.

All your struggling has ceased; you're not trying to leave or asking for help, or mercy. Dabi's not sure if you're still trying to please Shigaraki or are only clinging to some last shred of dignity, if he should be disgusted or proud. Still, you flinch when the redhead crouches to trace one large hand up the outside of your thigh, and that small sign of discomfort is enough to have Dabi moving without thinking, every fiber of his body screaming out to defend you from that unwanted touch. But he only manages one feeble step forward before Shigaraki's hand is curling in his hair, yanking him back so hard that Dabi's scalp throbs. Shigaraki maintains that tight hold, leaving Dabi immobilized and with no choice left but to keep staring forward.

"You're going to watch every second," Shigaraki hisses.

Dabi nods. Grinds his teeth. Watches.

***

He thinks nothing could be worse than the powerlessness he feels as Re-Destro takes you. It's a sense of impotence that settles in his bones, that unearths and amplifies every inadequacy he endured in his youth until his knees are weak and there's blood leaking from the corners of his eyes. Just like back then, he's too weak to do what is needed. He can only watch in dismay as someone slots themselves into a role that should be his.

He's wrong, of course, that nothing could be more horrible than witnessing that first act. It's worse when he starts to notice the familiar tensing in your body, and hears your high-keyed whines reverberating off of walls designed to carry just such a pitch. It's worse when he spies Skeptic with that camera trained on you, documenting your disgrace as he palms himself through his pants, and even worse when Spinner comes forward, casting a long, uncertain glance towards Shigaraki before burying himself in both your holes. It's worse when they stop taking orderly turns coupling with your pliant form and start to share instead, and it's worse still when Dabi realizes that somewhere along the way he's grown shamefully, achingly hard.

But the worst? The absolute worst?

That comes at the end.

You're nothing but a crumpled heap on the floor, one cheek squashed against the stained hardwood, your expression glassy and far away. People have stopped coming forward, all those who wanted a turn having taken one, or more. Their faces are uneasy now that they're spent, murmuring again and shooting furtive looks towards the door, obviously unsure if their continued presence is required but too wary of Shigaraki to ask. So it's Dabi who finally works up the nerve to speak, his voice tight through his clenched jaw.

"You did what you wanted. Now can we go?"

A sense of relief washes over him when Shigaraki releases him, but it's short-lived as the other man fixes that red-eyed stare on Dabi.

"Huh," he muses thickly, his expression unreadable as he cocks his head. "You still want her."

Dabi hesitates. Because he knows Shigaraki doesn't want that to be true, is intent on ripping apart whatever tenuous connection you and Dabi have forged over the past weeks, but Dabi's not sure that such a thing is possible. Right now he can't imagine the future any further than getting you both far, far away from here, but even after watching you submit to Shigaraki so readily, after seeing you clench and moan while being offered up like so much meat, Dabi doesn't think he could ever turn you away, not so long as you want him. So he nods.

Shigaraki's unreadable expression morphs, his lips splitting into a wide, depraved grin. "Fine." There's something in his tone that has Dabi's chest tightening with dread already, a sense that only intensifies when Shigaraki continues. "Finish her off, and you can have her. After all, what the fuck do I care if you want to keep the toy you damaged?"

Dabi swallows hard, looking around again. The crowd is watching intently, exchanging hushed whispers, and he knows they can hear every word, have no doubt anymore about just what has happened here, if they had any doubts before.

"Better get on with it," Tomura jeers, followed by a quiet, callous chuckle. "Take the last turn, and the two of you can go. Or don't, and I'll keep her here for days."

Fuck, Dabi can feel the weight of all those eyes on him, of dozens of gazes flicking between his torn expression and your used up form. He wants to say he can't, that he could never, but it's not the truth. The thought alone might have him fighting back a wave of nausea but that doesn't mean he isn't still erect, tenting his pants in a way that's painfully obvious to himself and to everyone else. Physically, at least, Dabi absolutely could.

He takes a step closer to you. Grimaces. He wants to reach out to you, to give you the reassurance of a soothing touch, but there's nowhere your skin isn't reddened or contused, the evidence of that damage exaggerated by the sheen of sweat and worse coating your skin. Your eyes roll up just enough to meet his hesitant stare, and Dabi gives you what he hopes is an apologetic look.

Dabi does what he has to do.

***

The moment it's over Dabi is scooping you up, hooking his arms around your shoulders and behind your bruised knees and lifting you gingerly from the floor, taking you in his arms as gently as he can manage. Your eyes drift to him again, the corners of your lips twitching and a tiny whimper issuing from the back of your throat, a sound so small and feeble that Dabi has to bite hard at the inside of his cheek to maintain some semblance of composure.

He avoids making eye contact with anyone as he leaves, not even sparing a glance towards Shigaraki to confirm this is really over; if the other man decides to change his mind, Dabi's sure it will be painfully obvious. But no one tries to stop him from taking you—he flees the scene of your discrediting successfully, with his heart pounding and his eyes fixed firmly on the floor ahead of him. Just as when he'd followed Shigaraki's march before, he puts one foot in front of the other and wills himself to think of nothing else.

It's difficult. Your skin is slick against his unclothed chest, and feels feverish. Every time he shifts you, he can feel wetness dribbling down your thighs as he tries to lie to himself it's nothing. Tries not to give it any attention at all.

Dabi's never been very good at deceiving himself, and it's all the harder now with the images of your defilement burned into his retinas—Shigaraki knew just what would make him suffer, Dabi has to admit that much.

When he reaches his room, he sets you gently to the floor, whispers that he'll be right back and then disappears into the bathroom, shutting the door tightly behind him. He cranks on the bathtub—it will be necessary to clean you up since he's certain you couldn't stand if you tried. It also serves to drown out the sounds to come, because the moment the water starts pouring he's lunging for the toilet and heaving his guts into the bowl, coughing and sputtering as he retches.

By the time he's finished being sick, the tub is nearly full.

He checks the temperature of the water. Once, twice. Three times. It's hard for him to gauge it adequately when he runs so hot, and the last thing he wants is to scald your abused skin or any of those tender, overworked parts. When he's finally wrangling you into the tub, he dips your hand in first, one final test to ease his anxious mind.

"That feel all right, baby girl?" He's not sure if you really nod, or if you're simply shifting a little, but either way he takes it as a yes.

In the end, it doesn't matter so much. The water turns disgusting almost the moment you're submerged, an oily sheen rising to the surface that Dabi doesn't want to think too hard about it. He drains it and doesn't repeat that mistake, only fills it a few inches full the second time and then scoops water over your irritated skin to rinse away the worst of the mess, a painstakingly slow but necessary measure. He repeats it twice and only after that muck stops rising to the top does he let the water creep higher so that he can wash you properly.

He starts with your hair. It's another slow process, trying to keep from snagging your damp tresses on the staples that line his palms as he massages shampoo into your scalp, and moving carefully to avoid the lump that's formed at the back of your head, where it cracked against the hardwood floor. He does his best not to grimace visibly at that swelling, does the same as he's working sweat and sticky clumps out of your matted locks—your eyes are still bleary but he knows you're watching him, and he couldn't bear for you to see how much it affects him to witness you like this.

Conditioner is probably an unnecessary touch, but he works it in anyway once the last of the suds have been rinsed away, thinks it might help you to feel some sense of normalcy, if that's even still a possibility for you. He lets it soak in while he tends to the rest of your inflamed skin, trying best as he can to be gentle, though that doesn't stop you from wincing every time he brushes over some raw, tender spot. When he finally works the washcloth between your thighs, the last horribly necessary task left, you let out a choked sob, your face contorting in distress in a way that has his throat tightening again.

"Shh, baby girl," Dabi soothes, his voice raw even to his own ears as he lifts a hand to stroke at your hair. "It's okay. I've got you."

You can't help but wonder if that's entirely true as you bite back more complaints and let him tend to your ravaged sex. You can see the tightness in his face, the way he can't seem to look at you for long, and Shigaraki's words keep running through your mind, a grim mantra that sticks in your head even more than the memories of the past few hours.

You'll be ruined for him, just like you're ruined for me.

The thought is enough to have panic brewing in your chest, a near-hysteria clawing its way through you. Because what would you do without Dabi? Who else would ever want you now? It would be too much to lose them both.

You don't realize tears are streaming down your cheeks until hot thumbs are brushing them away, cerulean eyes fixed worriedly on your own. "It's okay," Dabi murmurs again. "You're okay."

But it's not, you're not, probably won't ever be again, and you need more than those thin reassurances. Your arm aches when you lift one hand to catch his wrist, your feeble grip a reminder of just how worn you really are. "Am I—" your voice is hoarse, your words interrupted by a painful cough as you struggle to speak through your wrecked throat "—am I ruined for you?"

The way his face falls at your question is reassurance enough, that tight expression going slack and defeated, the corners of his brows lifting in grief. Then Dabi's pulling you to his chest, water sloshing over the side of the tub and cool porcelain digging into your side as he wraps both arms around you, his face burying itself in your damp strands as he cradles you close.

"No. No, of course not, baby girl. Never."

***

When Dabi finally releases you, he leaves you soaking in the tub long enough to take a shower. He's loath to abandon you for even one second, but he needs that cleansing and, more than that, needs a moment to breath. Because you'd never clung to him so eagerly before, never needed him the same way he needed you, not when you had someone else to hold tightly to.

So just now, when you'd burrowed against his chest and made clear that he was the one you were counting on? Well, he'd be lying if he said it hadn't felt good.

Shigaraki might have succeeded in cracking the pedestal Dabi had placed you on, but all that's truly accomplished is to bring you down to Dabi's level, to a place where he can actually hope to make you his. And Dabi doesn't want to find that thought reassuring, doesn't want to dwell on the realization that this whole fucked up situation might be the only way he'll get the one thing he still wants in life. But he does.

He cranks the heat in the shower as high as it will go as he tries to wash away that guilt, but the scalding water isn't enough. It can't rinse out the shame of finding personal satisfaction in your suffering, just like it can't scour away the memories of obeying Shigaraki's final order, of burying his length in the slick sensation of a dozen other men's seed, of squeezing your thighs together in a desperate bid to create some sort of friction, or of sinking himself into your tighter hole when it seemed like the only way to end that agony.

The list of things that require Dabi's contrition is endless, it seems.

Perhaps it's some kind of fucked up penance, then, that once you're both clean Dabi finds himself offering to go collect your things from the room you'd shared with Shigaraki.

It's an offer born of necessity; you have nothing to wear and while Dabi would love to dress you in his clothes, would relish the sight of you parading around in some oversized shirt that belongs to him, the way you had with Shigaraki's clothes back in the old hideout, he has nothing to offer on that front. An extensive wardrobe isn't among his precious few possessions—the options are his filthy tee shirt and jeans, the ones that reek of booze and ash, or his sweats, amply stained from your walk of shame. None of that seems anywhere near adequate.

So Dabi grits his teeth yet again, tugs on those dirty clothes himself and leaves you tucked safely in his bed, bundled in his only towel. There's an anxious look in your eyes as he departs, one that has a strange thrill coursing through him as he murmurs a promise to return quickly.

He tells himself as he journeys down the hall—pointedly ignoring every person he passes—that Shigaraki won't be there. Dabi's seen the boss angry before, knows he's one to wander and destroy rather than to sulk, and if Dabi were a betting man he would wager that Shigaraki won't be setting foot in the room he'd shared with you any time soon.

Unfortunately, Dabi is wrong once again. There's no answer when he knocks, but when he slips inside it becomes painfully obvious that lack of response wasn't because the quarters were unoccupied. He pauses inside the door, letting his eyes adjust to the darkness, and is almost immediately assaulted by the sounds issuing from around the corner, just out of sight: sheets rustling and heavy breathing, the faint slap of skin on skin, a quiet moan.

Fuck. Fuck no. This is the last thing that Dabi wants or needs to witness, even if the stab of incredulity and anger he feels about it is undeserved. It's how he himself would have coped, he knows, had Shigaraki's return to the Liberation Front and your return to him gone according plan, but the thought that he could avail himself of this ever after today's display has Dabi's stomach twisting.

He holds his breath as he immediately retreats, the carpet muffling his slow, quiet steps. Dabi will try something else, ask Toga to loan you some things, or rifle through the remnants of Jin's possessions if he has to. All he has do is get out of here without—

"What do you think you're doing?"

The sound of Shigaraki's low voice has Dabi freezing in place. He sounds different than when they last spoke, some faint trace of amusement there in place of that calculated callousness. Dabi keeps still, tries to convince himself that it's not him Shigaraki is addressing, but that hope proves unfounded.

"I can smell you, you know. You reek of smoke. So why don't you stop hiding and tell me why the fuck you're here?"

Dabi's first instinct is to simply turn and leave, to avoid this unpleasant encounter all together and pray Tomura will simply return his attentions to whoever had the poor judgement to leap into his bed. But in the end he steps forward, not willing to test the other man further than he has with his mere presence, not when there's still a sinister edge to his tone and the damage Dabi's wrought is already likely to haunt him to his dying day.

A light clicks on when Dabi steps into sight, the sudden assault on his pupils making him blink rapidly, and when the room finally swims back into focus, Dabi freezes. Tomura has some woman tucked neatly in his lap, her back nestled to his chest as he peers at Dabi from over her shoulder, the sheets barely covering where Dabi is positive they're joined together.

"I just came to get some of her shit—I didn't think you'd be here," Dabi says flatly, trying to not to let his eyes drift from Tomura's face as deadly hands grope at exposed breasts, dark bite marks and hickeys starkly visible even from the bottom of Dabi's field of vision. "I'll come back later. Or just find her new shit."

"Why bother when you're already here? Just get on with it." Dabi can sense something forced in that casual dismissal of his presence even as Shigaraki lets out a low laugh, and that impression is only strengthened when the woman—some MLA holdover Dabi recognizes but couldn't name—tugs at the edge of the blankets, obviously intent on providing herself with some sort of cover. Shigaraki growls immediately, pale fingers clamping around her wrist so tightly that she whimpers in protest. The first syllable of Tomura's name falls quietly from her lips, a paltry whine that's quashed as soon as it begins, Shigaraki's wide palm slapping harshly over her mouth. His eyes narrow in displeasure as scowling lips ghost over her ear.

"You're the one who wanted to fuck," Dabi hears Shigaraki hiss, "so don't you dare stop."

Dabi might have felt some sympathy for her in another life, some pang of unease at the way her eyes widen and she fidgets nervously before hesitantly rocking her hips, but in this moment he can muster no sympathy, not when her apparently voluntary presence far exceeds even Dabi's expectations for the shamelessness of these meta liberation freaks.

He does, however, feel a twinge of disquiet when he realizes, after a moment of staring, that she looks like you. Not exactly, of course—the nose is wrong, the hairstyle different—but enough. Her hair color, her eyes, her build: they're all reminiscent of your own.

Dabi tries not to think about what that means.

"Well, aren't you going to do what you came for?" Shigaraki taunts. That malicious glint is back in his eyes, the corner of his thin mouth curving up into a smirk that makes it clear he's enjoying Dabi's discomfort at the scene playing out before him. His hands start to wander again as though to emphasize it, pinching and tugging at puffy, exposed nipples while the woman continues to issue muffled mewls from behind his hand. "I'm busy, if you couldn't tell."

Dabi grits his teeth and looks away. "Where is it?"

Shigaraki only shrugs, that sneer widening, and Dabi turns stiffly towards the dresser, doing his best to tune out the soft cries as he rummages through the drawers. After a moment it's clear that nothing within belongs to you, and reluctantly Dabi steps further into the room to search the closet. He finds what he's looking for there, thank god; neatly folded stacks of pants and shirts line the shelves, blouses and those fancy nightgowns you're so fond of arranged neatly on hangars beside them. There's a duffel bag on the floor too, and Dabi quickly busies himself shoving as many of your belongings into it as he can, working with unceremonious haste and chewing at his cheek, still trying to ignore the way the sounds behind him are escalating, the moans and lewd wet smacks growing louder, more rapid.

He only stops when the duffel is overflowing, too stuffed full to even zip shut. It's certainly more than enough for now, but he wonders briefly about the rest of your possessions, if there's some other source of comfort he could and should bring you before Shigaraki decides to dispose of anything you've left behind. But Dabi has no way of knowing, has never been permitted to so much as step foot in this space before.

When the unmistakable sound of a slap emanates from behind him, followed by a throaty groan, Dabi decides it doesn't matter.

It takes him a moment to steel himself, to work up the nerve to turn back towards the room and the vulgar performance occurring mere feet away, but he once he does he strides purposefully towards the door without so much as a glance towards Shigaraki and his new—and very temporary, Dabi suspects—lover. He's almost out the door, seconds from feeling as though he can breath again, when that mocking voice is once again demanding his attention.

"Dabi," Shigaraki calls out liltingly, and Dabi pauses.

"What now?"

His obvious impatience draws a cold chuckle from Tomura. "Don't try to leave. Either of you," Shigaraki says. "The Violet Regiment still needs its lieutenant, and I need you motivated."

For a long moment, Dabi simply stands there, his hand still resting on the knob as he considers those instructions. Shigaraki isn't wrong to think he would consider it; Dabi's mostly accomplished what he hoped to with the League, and his more protective instincts have been screaming at him to get you out of here since the second it was clear Tomura intended to honor his threats. But he'd already had doubts that the jilted man would let that happen, not when the punishment he'd devised is most effective if you're both forced to stay, forced to face everyone who witnessed your downfalls and shared shame.

And also, well...Dabi's more protective instincts might tempt him to flee—he's disappeared before, after all, thinks he could do it again even if it would be harder to evade Shigaraki's reach—but his possessive instincts? Those have more self-serving thoughts brewing in the back of his mind. Because if the castigation you endured is most effective if you stay, it also means that Dabi has no advantage anywhere else. Would you cling to him so sweetly, so fiercely if you weren't surrounded by those who had seen you so thoroughly humbled? Or would such an escape only taint Dabi's presence in your mind, single him out as the last reminder of your humiliation and debasement?

It would, he thinks. So Dabi nods even though Shigaraki can't see him, noting the opportunity present in what was surely intended as a threat. The sadistic leader might be intent on dangling this over both your and Dabi's heads until at least one of you is dead, but Dabi's made the best of bad situations before, ones worse than this.

"Sure thing, boss," he says, working to keep his tone level and mild. He steps out into the hall, lets the door click closed behind him.

For the first time all day, Dabi smiles.

#dabi x reader #dabi x you #dabi x y/n #dabi smut #dabi fanfic #dabi angst #tw: dubcon #tw: noncon #bnha x reader #bnha smut

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