#lesbian (suffers from comphet)

[submissiveness]

[thepartysdone]

i miss you vocaloid obsession where i was obsessed with the most obscure song projects ever (eneeemy)

[lostryu]

im a bi lesbian. i have only ever wanted to romantically date women, but i am once in awhile attracted to men sexually

i also date non binary people and my current romantic partner is nb.

i could fuck anyone, but i dont want anything to do with going on a date with or sleeping in the same bed as a man.

im curious why you have such rigid ideas of what these labels should mean and why you cant let people be whatever the fuck they want to be

Because words have meanings, and sometimes. Those meanings? The meanings that were written in the blood of lesbians? They’re not for you. Reading the beginning of your ask, it sounds like you are either Bi with a preference or suffering from serious compulsatory heterosexuality. Either way your biphobia (and enbyphobia) is showing and it’s ugly.

[thisismisogynoir]

No one:

Me whenever I see yet another blog I respect and admire make/reblog a post on how the lesbian/comphet masterdoc is biphobic/inaccurate:

[asterdust]

i only need one thing from kawi: make sure pearmai and kwan ends up together in the endgame timeline.

[roublardise]

Are you a Gold Star lesbian? (Just in case you don't know what it means, a Gold Star lesbian is a lesbian that has never had the sex with a guy and would never have any intentions of ever doing so)

gotta say, receiving this ask makes me feel so validated in my lesbianism. like, that's it, i'm getting annoying lesbophobic asks in my personal inbox woh 💕

i believe the concept of "gold star lesbian" is reducing and doesn't take into account the complexity, and all the invidual trajectories, of lesbian experiences. we can't be over there talking about comphet all while shaming lesbians that may have had sex with men before, that's hypocrisy and none of everyone's business tbh.

[soultore]

by the way, despite melly having married a man, i view that marriage as a result of comphet. between the power imbalance between her and her (now dead) husband, and the fact that she eventually kills him, i've always written it as a loveless marriage.

[domorebemore]

anyway it's time to do my yearly twitch playthrough of the gabriel knight series.......... literally like legendary series or at least the first 2 are i haven't played 3. but the second game is literally. about gay werewolves. 1995. FMV point-and-click game. the main male character who spent the entirety of the previous game being like oh i love women i love being broody and fucking women and never falling in love. was like. what if i became a beta to this german baron who's also a werewolf. demented. tbf he's like a villain but gabe is very sad about it. he's like sad at the end that he lost his lover. jane jensen fujoshi icon and iconic anderson university grad.

[starrywilliams]

guilty as sin? | abby anderson

“these fatal fantasies giving way to labored breath, taking all of me, we’ve already done it in my head”

warnings: masturbation, slight masochism, ruined orgasm, angst, perv!abby (a little), internalized homophobia (discussed in more detail below)

notes: no surprise my favourite ttpd song is the gayest one on the album, but guilty as sin? screams lesbian guilt i fear!!!! i’ve been writing this for over a month so i hope u guys like it 😭

cw: discussion of lesbian guilt & comphet - these are somewhat based on my own experiences with my sexuality and i absolutely!!! do not think a man can ‘cure’ a lesbian or anything similar to that. nor do i believe anyone should ever feel guilty for being gay. realising i’m a lesbian has been extremely freeing & dykes r the best x

wc: 1.8k

likes, comments + reblogs are greatly appreciated :)

the door slammed harshly behind abby as she stormed into her room. she pulled her jacket off desperately; her skin hot under its tight vice. she’d been in the gym, trying to work out her endless frustration of late, when you’d walked in.

you’d only said “hi" and smiled politely at her before setting your things down. but she felt her stomach churn, a black hole opening inside her. abby stood up, pulling the weights off the barbell and onto their rack. she grunted softly, glancing at you from the corner of her eye.

you’d started stretching, currently bent over as you touched your toes. her eyes drifted for an infinitesimal moment, locking onto the swell of your-. she looked away - wrongwrongwrong.

but then she looked back, her stare feasting on your body. she wondered whether you were doing this on purpose, trying to tempt her from across the room. she wondered if you knew her dirty little secret, abby picturing a smirk on your face as you mocked her for such indecent thoughts.

she didn’t want to feel this way. she didn’t want to feel the poison ivy swarming around her chest, getting tighter, tighter. the rash spread inside her; this invisible whip of lust lashing against her skin whenever your face appeared in her mind. well, had it been just your face maybe she wouldn’t feel like some depraved sinner.

now it wasn’t like abby believed in god, in a world where death and destruction infect every crevice you’d have to be mad to believe that any ‘god’ wanted its followers to suffer so greatly. but something inside her screamed every time she had these thoughts. these impure, twisted thoughts about you.

she didn’t know what made her feel like this. what made her resent you for simply existing; and what made her resent herself.

she recalled her teenage years, when manny had subtly suggested that owen liked her - so she was supposed to like him back, right? and she tried! she loved him even - but there was always that something, that feeling in her gut that told her that something was wrong, something about him that just would never sit right with her.

but all the other girls wanted a boyfriend too, and the jealousy was nice at first - she’d thought. after all, mel was the star student, a doctor in the making, her dad’s favourite; and nora was this freshly trained medical officer, and abby was- abby was just abby.

her dad began noticing her more too - previously too preoccupied with his firefly duties and his favourite student. now his little girl was slipping away from him, he finally began paying her the amount of attention she’d craved for so long.

before, their conversations had often drifted into talk of mel and her new achievements, or his hopes of a vaccine, or some animal he was tracking. never anything about his daughter’s life.

having a boyfriend made her interesting, it gave the other girls something to envy. which was a nice reversal, for a while. then her dad died, and she had become this object of pity. owen helped a bit, she supposed. he tried to distract her and keep her focused on their new role as soldiers, but she barely cared about him anymore. all she wanted was revenge, and with revenge, came you.

you were one of the gyms trainers, passionate about helping the members of the wlf stay fit and healthy! you’d helped her start lifting weights, squealed as she reached every milestone, and had remarked jokingly about just how much you loved her new physique.

it was innocent at first, the most being her brain going a little fuzzy when you’d bit your lip while spotting her; a slight blush when you’d hugged her a little too tight. then, once she and owen were finally broken up, these new pictures began hanging themselves on the walls of her mind. still, innocent, just slightly tainted with desire - the true nature of them still an avoidable matter for her back then.

when she could ignore the truth in her recent behaviour, abby loved spending time with you. after all, you were just really good friends! anyway, she’d had a boyfriend before so everyone knew she was normal, and absolutely not different, and she would never ever have to feel like an outsider.

yet it took a mere three months before she gave up on this foolish lie. she liked you, and as long as nobody ever found out, it wouldn’t matter.

but as her mind grew dark and twisted - joel a constant topic in her head as she obsessed over finally getting to enact revenge - her thoughts got worse in turn. she wanted you - filthily and desperately.

every gym session ended with another cold shower, a desperate plea for her body to stop and let her focus on the task at hand; a hopeless attempt to bury this ache into the ground; an endless endeavour to escape these urges for just one second.

but then she came back changed, every hair on her body endlessly erected with guilt. the way she’d killed him so mercilessly, the way it had done nothing to ease the pain, and the way you had tormented her mind ceaselessly throughout the entire trip.

maybe, had she never met you, she could’ve just killed him and been satisfied. maybe had you never offered to train her personally, she could’ve just stayed comfortable in that stuffy closet. maybe if she found the right man she’d stop feeling this way.

abby deemed such ideas unfathomable now.

owen made her feel nothing. being with him was like an eternal thursday, an endless wait for the week’s end and its pleasure to turn up at her door. every day she’d wait for some spark to arrive, the routine only becoming more and more tedious by the minute. but he helped her get people’s attention, which was enough when she was just abby.

but then she was abby anderson, top scar killer and isaac’s favourite. she got attention on her own, she was praised for her own accomplishments: people worshipped the fucking ground she walked on. but they didn’t know who she really was.

they didn’t know she liked girls the way she was supposed to like boys. she’d seen it in enough of those wlf movie nights - cruel jokes about anyone who even thought about being different. she’d heard the way people gossiped, “did you hear that they’re moving lesbians into the family unit? what a joke.”

they said it like it was something dirty, something egregious, something that she had to hate about herself. so she did.

but as long as she kept it secret, kept it locked away in her mind, maybe she’d be okay. after all, only your actions talk: it was the age old question really, if a tree falls in a forest and no one else hears it, does it make a sound?

abby fell back against her bed sheets, calloused hands pushing her cargos down to her ankles as she replayed the sight of you in her mind. bent over - she felt like you were trying to tempt her on purpose.

she felt like a heathen; staring, fantasizing, worshipping. her mind was bursting with the idea of every possible position she could put you in; head a chorus of every little noise she wanted to hear you make; eyes screwed shut as depravity filled her every sense.

she shoved her bralette up her chest roughly, fingertips dragging over her nipples with little mercy. she pinched them, the peach skin stinging underneath her touch.

she wanted it to hurt; wanted it to feel like some sort of punishment for her thoughts. but as her hips bucked into the air, a long whine dragging from her clenched jaw, she realised it needed to hurt more.

she imagined you, finding her like this. disgust burnt into your features - what the fuck was she doing? repeating your name like some subverted prayer, fingers harshly scratching along her stomach as she tried to make the pleasure feel more like pain, trying to induce some connection between the two.

if it hurt enough, would she stop? force herself to forget? could she torture this part of herself until it surrendered?

her hand slipped over the top of her boxers, a finger running tentatively over her clit through the now darkened fabric. she bit down on her lip, groaning against it as she pushed down harder and harder, attempting to break through the skin.

another finger pressed down, beginning to draw circles down on the throbbing bud. she jolted against her own touch, your head between her legs burning into her mind. your hands, trailing along her flesh - groping at her with little tenderness; tongue, swiping at her pussy with no intent of fulfillment: she wanted you to make her weep, smoke out her lungs with shame, deny her from gratification until all she could feel was regret.

she pulled away, only to cover her fingertips with her spit - diving under her boxers to continue with her corruption. abby let out a strangled sigh, hips grinding against her fingers as they toyed with her clit.

she moved a hand to her hair, knuckles stretching against her scalp as she began to pull her braid. she grunted, yanking even harder. she whispered your name: pained, hopeless.

she sped up her assault against her pussy, feeling that pit in the bottom of her stomach begin to grow. “pleasepleaseplease” her voice cracked as she begged, unsure what she was pleading for.

she wanted to stop, but she needed to try and make this feeling go away. she knew it would come back, it always did - but even five minutes free from your torment on her mind might save her.

her fingers kept going, drawing desperate circles against her weeping pussy relentlessly. the void was growing, almost consuming her entirely at this point. she thought of you laughing at her current state: a crying mess, pussy wet with perversion.

it was sick, really - how the idea of you hating her for this made her need even worse. you’d probably think it appalling: someone who was supposed to be your friend, now sat here burning at the thought of you.

a part of her wished that you shared this sickness. that you too let yourself be overwhelmed by the thought of sin. maybe you didn’t let the guilt swallow you whole - she hoped so.

but there was no point lingering in the what-ifs, they were far too fleeting.

her deft fingers quickened their pace, the ache all consuming. the climb began - a desperate jump towards oblivion. closer, closer. the flames scorched her bedsheets as her breathing hastened.

fuck, she hissed before reaching the apex with a scream of your name. a scream? a whisper? a thought? it didn’t make her actions any less deplorable.

her conscience grabbed pleasure by the throat as she ripped her fingers away, putting out the blaze on her hips like a cigarette crushed on the ground.

the desire imploded within the walls of her torso; scratching against her insides in the vengeance of her denial.

it was wrong; she had to stop it. yet still, the guilt poured into her lungs with no chance of resolve. she was a fool for thinking it would fix her. maybe next time it would work. maybe next time the exorcism would finally purify her.

until next time.

[diamonds-of-the-first-water]

I Have Evolving Thoughts on Fran’s Sexuality

(god hannah dodd is so pretty)

First of all let’s thank GOD francesca is the queer sister and not…that other one.

Anyways upon my initial viewing of part 2 I definitely read Fran as bisexual and if you continue to read her as such I think that’s fine but my mind has changed on the matter.

I believe that Fran is actually a lesbian suffering from comphet.

The reason this actually started to seem likely to me is because of her wedding scene with John. The whole season I thought they seemed so taken with one another and I enjoyed their quiet dynamic. They were more than comfortable sitting in silence with one another and seemed to grow closer in that way.

I like many others assumed this meant their love was romantic, but that kiss

Would a woman who is attracted to men make this face after kissing the man she loves? I don’t think so. Some people seem to think it’s because she’s shy but it doesn’t seem like she’s even thinking about her family here. It seems like she has retreated into her own thoughts. It seems like she was disappointed. And after spending the whole season feeling nothing for any of the men she meets why wouldn’t she be. She met a man she loved and she kissed him and she didn’t feel those sparks.

Now Fran is also autistic coded so this initially affected the way I viewed her relationships as well, but all of that changes when you take into account Michaela.

Francesca immediately starts to stutter and is flustered when she sees Michaela. We have never seen Fran act this way with a man, even her husband. It wasn’t for no reason that Violet describes how she felt the first time she fell in love with Edmund and then almost immediately after Fran reacts the same way to Michaela. The butterflies, not being able to string a sentence together. This was foreshadowing.

Some people were upset because they said it erased everything Fran said about having a quiet love and that is somewhat true, but I disagree with people saying that it erases slowly built love when Polin’s whole story is about love not striking you like a bolt of lightning.

None of this is to say she can’t love John, I believe she does I just feel it is platonic, and the loss of John would hit hard even if he was her best friend. John is one of the great loves of her life but who is to say that love is romantic? Friendships are the foundation of our lives and they are equally as important as any romantic relationship. Fran met someone who understands her and is like her, that doesn’t mean she has to have romantic attraction for him.

Some of this is affected by personal bias as I am a late-blooming lesbian, but holy shit the way I relate to Fran wanting to get married just because it would mean she wouldn’t have to pursue any other relationships with men and the way she was willing to accept whoever the Queen deemed fit because she didn’t have any criteria except “is kind to me”. Fran does not seem to be searching for love as she has not felt it before. The closest she comes is with John because the two of them are so similar and I believe she thought that because she liked him so much that she must be in love with him which is just so…lesbian coded I don’t know how to explain it.

This isn’t to say bisexuality isn’t real or is “just a phase”. Ew. Gross. No. This is just the way I am interpreting the character with the information we have now. If it comes out definitely that she is bisexual then I will accept that, sapphic rep is so needed.

All in all they look so good and I can’t wait to see these queers kiss and have a romance.

Also I think that Michaela still could have fallen first. Fran just realized she was a dyke at that exact moment and her brain stopped working which is valid. But did you see the way Michaela looked at her. I KNOW A LESBIAN FALLING IN LOVE WHEN I SEE ONE.

[bokutoasavillain]

Hiii, do you have some cumplane fic recommendations? Platonic or romantic, crack or angst, it doesn't matter as long as those two dumbasses share a single braincell 🥺👉👈

I love cumplane so of course!!

Shang Qinghua's Spa Day

Rated M, platonic/romantic/sexual cumplane the way it should be + making out for research purposes, absolutely hilarious

huddle for warmth

Rated G, platonic and really cute cuddling

Bros before... well everything I guess

Rated T, platonic, this really focuses on cumplane and cqms peak lords as family and it’s one of my faves (I really need to reread it)

A Child Once

Rated T, platonic, deaging and identity reveal my beloved <33

girl like me

Rated E, romantic, lesbian cumplane with Shen Yuan as Shang Qinghuas sugar mommy + sy typical comphet

His Majesty, the Ice King

Not Rated, romantic, sqh works at a coffee shop and sy may or may not be the inspiration for a certain character, they are disasters your honor

My Husband Says He Isn't Gay

Rated G, romantic, poor airplane is suffering from his husbands comphet and makes a Reddit post about it, it is hilarious

slow dance with you

Rated T, romantic, so so sweet I’m blushing thinking about it like it’s literally so fluffy and cute and mmmmmmmhhh

I've got $400 and a really bad idea

Rated T, romantic, fake dating for qijius wedding? More likely than you think (they’re idiots your honor)

Cumplane Summary Archive

Rated T, romantic, another Reddit post but this time about cumplanes relationship on social media from an outsider perspective in the form of an archive, it’s so fun and beautiful

Help! My Ex-Boyfriend Transmigrated And Now He's My Shixiong!

Rated M, romantic/exes, that awkward moment when you and your ex both end up in the same novel

Married?! To Whom?!

Rated T, romantic, who could Shen shixiongs husband possibly be?? The peak lords try to find out

Cumplane (Pairing)

Rated G, romantic, i really like outsider pov archives can you tell?

Life is a Merry-Go-Round

Rated T, romantic, scumcumplane, cumplane are married pre death and sqh transmigrates first to then fall for sj and then sy transmigrates and well they’re poly your honor (also really liked the jiuyuan here as well)

The M in Mpreg Stands for Mistake

Rated E, romantic?? Cumplane fuck around and find out (sqh is pregonate)

Haters gonna hate

Rated G, platonic, these two are weird and deserve to be acknowledged as such

I know a lot of these are already quite popular but there just aren’t that many unfortunately 😔 (at least not ones I’ve bookmarked) I hope these are satisfactory. I always wish to spread the cumplane agenda so thanks a lot for your ask<33

[mioxeno]

I understand why everyone is panicking about the Alicole scenes on a surface level. However Alicent only makes sense through a queer pov for me and everything we've seen so far is accurate to that portrayal. Rhaenyra is her first (and only friend) and they were much closer than two female friends typically are. It's clear she over-attaches herself to Rhaenyra for reasons she can't exactly accept or explain. Because of this the idea of Rhaenyra falling in love with a man, becoming queen having children etc. always scared her as she didn't want to lose her. However she loses her freedom to really discover herself the moment she gets forced into becoming Viserys' wife.

Most of how Alicent's life ended up, her children, her husband, even her position as queen came at the cost of her freedom and sense of self and from her perspective Rhaenyra abandoned her because she 'didn't save her from her fate'. She struggles being a loving, caring mother because her children are physical representations of the rape and abuse she suffered upon and never asked for. She wants to love them but she can't really express it nor get rid of her conflicting feelings.

When Viserys' died she started sleeping with Criston because it gave her a sense of control over someone because everyone else in her life doesn't respect or listen to her. Otto refuses to ever discuss her issues and feelings. Aegon and Aemond both go against her wishes and hurt others in the same way she was hurt. Then with Helaena she can't bring herself to comfort and help her because while she sees her younger self in her she doesn't know what to say and thinks she'll make it worse.

Throughout everything, she still loves Rhaenyra and has a faint hope they'll be able to be how they used to be when they were children. However she feels it's wrong to love Rhaenyra and that she'll be punished for it because of her faith and society. Anyway my point is Alicent's arc reads to me like she's a lesbian who suffers from comphet due to the patriarchal society she's in and she has no sense of self or freedom to really begin to accept herself.

[whatwouldsylwrite]

At least I got you in my head (prologue)

Summary: Abby is straight. And then you move in with her.

Tags: modern au, fem!reader, straight!abby (she is doing some comphet bullshit), pining, idiot in love and it's abby, reader is gay and tired.

A/N: The title is from Sleepover by Hayley Kiyoko, because my motto is if I had to suffer Abby has to suffer too. I also have literally no idea where this is going, but the idea got stuck and I needed to write something. 🙃

Jessica here is Jessica from Jessica Jones. (actually all characters here are fictional women I have a crush on, no name is random)

"Listen, I have a friend, she is looking for a roommate right now." Nora said as she drank her sweet coffee you really wanted to steal after she listened to your complaining. "It's super close to the campus."

"I've seen a porn starting exactly like this."

"I wouldn't call Sherlock Holmes porn." Nora shot back and you rolled your eyes. "Do you want her number or not?"

"Is she, you know?.."

"Painfully straight. Don't worry, you won't end up looking for a place because you decided to date your roommate."

"Okay, yeah, give me her number." 

Okay, Jessica wasn't.. that bad. It was cute in the beginning, you two hit it off immediately, her sarcasm bounced off your wittiness perfectly. You liked how cool and un-fucking-bothered she was, she liked you because you were a little shit. You two had so much tension it was bound to explode one day, and it did: you got drunk at home, played some have i never and then fucked for two days straight. Jess was cool, and Jess really didn't like to give any kind of clarity on where you stood even when you asked her to her face. She'd just say she liked you and that was it, and even though it really pissed you off, you didn't press further - Jess was cool, but she wasn't sweet enough to fall in love with. It was getting annoying as she grew more territorial about you, always putting her arms around you in public, which was cute until she started asking about Nora and getting angry when you were with her. 

That was when you decided to tap out and move out - the red flag was fucking screaming in your face. You quickly informed Jessica about it, to which she just flipped you, and you left, not dealing with her shit. And now you were homeless, and the term was starting and you really didn't want any drama. 

So a painfully straight girl would be fucking perfect for a roommate.

to: potential roommate

Hi! I'm (y/n), Nora gave me your number

She said you're looking for a roommate?

from: potential roommate

Hi! I am

Do you smoke?

to: potential roommate

No

from: potential roommate

That's the address

If you can, come tomorrow after six

to: potential roommate

Ok

The place was actually close to the campus and not "beautiful place to have peaceful study sessions. 20 minutes by public transport". You weren't sure if you'd be able to afford it, but it was worth a try anyway, you were tired of sleeping on your friends' couches. The apartment building was on a quiet street, but you knew that this street had a bunch of bars where students spent their time.

It was another win, and it made you want to afford this place even more. You reread the message and got up to apartment 42. 

You rang the bell and waited for the girl to open the door. 

And then she did.

And then you died. 

Tall, muscular, shoulders and arms so defined you felt your mouth going slack. She had freckles on her face, pretty blue eyes with long lashes, stubborn mouth and a long braid. 

Oh no fucking way this absolute lesbian wet dream was straight. Nora set you the fuck up here, you were sure of it. 

"Hi, I'm Abby. You're (y/n)?" She said in a nice melodic voice that had just an edge of something dark and warm, and you woke up.

"Yeah." You squealed, still so shocked and so attracted to her it was getting painful. 

She was painfully straight? Well, you were painfully gay for her right now. 

"Cool, come in."

Oh god. 

Oh god.

She had the ass. Oh what a good day to be a lesbian, you thought, but you politely looked away, feeling like a creep for staring at her. 

It gave you time to look around: the place wasn't too big, but it was cosy and clean, clearly looked after. That was a good sign - Jess was tidy, but she smoked and the whole place just stank of it, her cigarette buds were everywhere. Abby seemed sporty, probably obsessed with her food, but you didn't mind. 

"Do you play sports?"

"MMA." 

Oh for fuck's sake, you groaned inside. How could she be so stereotypically gay and be straight? Well, of course she could, looks and hobbies weren't indicators of someone's sexuality, but it was pretty fucking ironic to you. 

The kitchen was small and tidy, everything in its place and a cute towel hanging from the oven handle. It gave you a 1950s housewife vibe, but it was cute. The living room was more chaotic, pillows and blankets everywhere: on the couch, on the floor, behind the couch (???), big tv and playstation next to the wall with a bunch of games next to them. Likes games, you noted, really feeling like a Sherlock Holmes and laughing at yourself for comparing your basic observation to the fictional genius. 

"Sorry, I didn't have time to figure out this mess." Abby said and rubbed her neck and you had to clench your fists to stop feeling so attracted to her. 

"It's cosy, not a mess." You chuckled. "My previous roommate left bottles instead of pillows."

"God." Abby scrunched her nose in disgust. "Okay, so there's two bedrooms, one is mine and the other one can be yours and if you promise to pay rent on time and not leave your laundry in the washing machine."

"Yeah, that won't be a problem.” You hesitated before speaking up, but you needed her to know you weren’t straight. “I'm a lesbian, by the way. Just in case you have a problem with it."  

"Oh, I don't, it's totally cool." Abby smiled and you smiled back, relieved. Sometimes straight girls got wrong ideas and you wanted to get it out of the way now. You could deal with how attractive Abby was, but could she deal with you finding her attractive - that was a different question. 

You talked about the price for the place, which wasn't too high, but you might want to find more students to tutor if you wanted to not worry about splitting your budget too much. 

You left Abby’s place feeling relieved - you got a place to live in a good location and a roommate who, yeah, was super attractive, but she was straight, and that meant no relationship drama. 

Fuck you, Jess - you thought as you made your way to Cait’s place - I won’t fall for the girl this time.

[rius-cave]

Which sexualities do you think would Adam and Lucifer have?

To me Lucifer looks bisexual and Adam looks pansexual (Ik you think Adam was suffering from internalized homophobia before but no one can convince me that he is not that type of person who would say “a hole is a hole after all”)

Adam is homophobic but that doesn't mean he does not have homosexual impulses himself! Also, he is the kind of homophobe that is only homophobic when it's men but doesn't really articulate why. If you asked Adam why being gay is wrong, he wouldn't have an answer, he'd just say its gross, but if you asked him if lesbians were hot, he'd say absolutely fucking yes, he's that kind of homophobe y'know? (fetishises lesbians basically)

And then he has sex with men (Lucifer or otherwise) and enjoys it a lot but then still probably has repressed homophobia towards himself and still denies it for a bit. That's how I read him lmao.

Honestly? I'd go with bisexual for both. I can see Adam being pansexual but I do think he feels a different kind of attraction for men and for women. His attraction towards women is very... uh... comphet, you could say? Lmfao, like he's almost just "reciting" how he thinks he should be attracted to women, and then when it's men he's in a much more vulnerable and confused state (emotionally speaking), which makes his attraction more honest. Does that make sense? Probably not lmao. Bisexual or pansexual, either works.

[princessefemmelesbian]

Lesbians: how did you realize you were attracted to women?

I see a lot of lesbians talk about how they realized they weren't attracted to men, but we can all agree that talking about men is an absolute drag(I mean does any lesbian ever talk about men in a positive light? 😒), so let's talk about women!

I think for me one of the main things that helped me realize was that the idea of being with a woman always felt safer and more fulfilling. It didn't seem like an obligation, or a thing I had to "inevitably" do, it felt much more voluntary, joyful, and freeing. I never felt like I had to worry about a relationship that would feel unequal and like a trap, because lesbian relationships already subvert gender norms/the patriarchy/stereotypes in so many different ways. I always thought as a child that girls were more beautiful than boys, and I always noticed women's beauty in every woman that I met, while the same could not be said for boys because they're all so plain. I had to force myself to crush on boys while looking back I never once did that for girls, I had a lot of instances of naturally crushing on girls(even if it was subtle/small) that I simply never allowed myself to acknowledge or act upon because of comphet. And when I thought that a girl had a crush on me I would always feel flattered and elated rather than discomforted and stressed out like I did with guys.

I also realized pretty quickly that pretty much the only romances that I found engaging to read/write about were f/f ones, canon or otherwise(they just seemed more equal and heartfelt), and that nothing quite inspired me like seeing (Black) femme lesbians being open and doing their thing, and it made me sad to "know" that I was "just" straight, because I wished I was a lesbian and could have all these fun and pretty feelings for girls that they could. I was always starry-eyed when I heard a song that was about women loving women(such as "Little Miss Perfect"). I also heavily related to and adored lesbian characters in media, and even if they weren't canonically lesbians, I used to headcanon them as such pretty much all of the time.

And ik that for a lot of us lesbians, realizing that you don't like boys is way harder than realizing that you like girls, but truthfully, what made me realize I was a lesbian and that I suffered from compulsory heterosexuality wasn't just realizing that I didn't have to like men, but that women were an option instead! A lot of my inner conflict over my sexuality wasn't just the anguish over thinking that my destiny was to be with a man, but that it never occurred to me that my destiny could be with a woman; that idea was never presented to me, it was always "you have to like guys, or else, women who?" And knowing that women are a choice and that I could solely seek out women and non-binary sapphics made me feel truly satisfied, free, and whole for the first time!

Lesbians, I'd be excited to hear your story as well of how you discovered your own attraction to women!

(read the tags PLEASE, don't act a fool)

[fangsforiris]

Chasing Shadows

Prompt: Another Love a Lifetime Ago, Dearest Dead, Mourning.

Person: Yui Komori x Female

HC’s:

TW: Talks of Pedophilic Behaviours, Stockholm Syndrome, Abuse, Neglect, etc.

If you are uncomfortable, exit out please !!

🕰️ Before the house, Yui had a crush/situationship/relationship with a girl.

🕰️ Yui definitely suffers from comphet.

🕰️ She’s a lesbian suffering from comphet, or at least a bisexual— leaning preference towards women and very little men.

🕰️ However, based on all the routes with all the boys, and her only developing an actual romantic attraction due to Stockholm Syndrome (mainly by a purely psychological approach to her conditioning, then eventual development— as well as the heavy abuse she as placed under to get to the select boys’ character development,) I’d say she’s a lesbian.

🕰️ Her entire life she was surrounded by men who asked a lot of her, and controlled her day to day routine.

🕰️ Her father canonically neglected her a lot when she was a child, leading her to gather household skills by a young age to sustain herself.

🕰️ She has an iffy relationship with her father, as she tries to speak well of him. However his sketchy— borderline pedophilic— behaviours towards her are questionable at best.

🕰️ She was heavily conditioned her entire life, unknowing of what her truth was other than what happened to be force fed to her.

🕰️ Yui would question her religion in secret. Mainly because of her conflicting sexuality, and Seiji’s influence.

🕰️ She’d find herself conflicted, as she’s never once had a crush on a man. Never felt the feelings the nuns would present to her. Nothing.

🕰️ Instead, it’d be for a woman. Which would instantly throw her for a loop.

🕰️ Cue the HEAVY Religious Trauma.

🕰️ Yui would pray to be ‘normal’ because she was afraid that she was cursed.

🕰️ She’d been told her entire life what happened to be ‘right’ and ‘wrong.’ So why was it now, that her happiness was considered a sin in the eyes of the lord…?

🕰️ It would take a ravenette woman to change that, or at least allow Yui to understand that it’s okay, and normal.

🕰️ She’d meet her beau whilst in the alley ways in Romania after sneaking out.

🕰️ Yui would tell you that, that night was the first time she felt truly alive.

🕰️ Her heart pounded, adrenaline to it’s all time high, her cheeks stained in a pinky-blush.

🕰️ I’d like to think that Yui has anxiety, or just high stress and ability to stress easy— but hides it well.

🕰️ Hence, nicotine.

🕰️ Yui 100% smokes, especially when she’s stressed. Even more so when suddenly moving in with the vampiric families she’d find herself acquainted with.

🕰️ So, there Yui was, smoking in the alleyway, when she meets her.

🕰️ Long black hair, reaching hip length and curled at its ends. Lime green eyes that stopped rooms and froze even the largest of crowds. She was beautiful, she was ethereal— coming out of an old 1950’s vintage movie, Yui knew she was home.

🕰️ Some would say that the woman fell first, and Yui fell harder due to her dwindling faith. But Yui would say otherwise. They both knew otherwise.

🕰️ Yui fell first, and then fell even harder.

🕰️ The woman? As she laid eyes on the blond, she knew she would be sticking around.

🕰️ Yui was never one for love at first sight, as all her given descriptions were supposed to be with a man, she could never gaslight herself to find the appeal.

🕰️ But that night… Yui couldn’t tell if it was the way the moon shone down, or the way the woman looked like an ethereal being from the heavens and hells. But one thing was for certain. For once, she believed.

🕰️ Yui knew that she’d love this woman for this life and the hundreds of other ones they’d share.

🕰️ She would wait, despite her reservations of her faith, she knew that she would never love anyone the way she loved this girl.

🕰️ Yui didn’t want to find another, not when the one she’d marry was right in front of her.

🕰️ It didn’t take long for them to share the cigarette Yui was casually taking in. And it didn’t take long for Yui to become a giggling mess at the woman’s jokes.

🕰️ Time stopped, and perhaps it was that, that made the two’s meetups become more frequent.

🕰️ They’d go to the late night carnivals, walk alongside the alleyways, and go on small dates— all in secret of course.

🕰️ In fact, on one late night carnival date, the two would find a photo booth, where they’d share their first kisses.

🕰️ Yui still keeps the pictures with her.

🕰️ The woman would play the piano for Yui, and even teach her a few songs.

🕰️ They would always gift each other flowers on their late night dates. Always surprising each other with what they came up with.

🕰️ Even going as far to see who’s bouquet of flowers matched the theme of their date the best.

🕰️ It would go on for a few years, with them meeting around when Yui was 13, and until Yui was 15-16, would they stop.

🕰️ The reason? The woman would get killed by the church, all on Seiji’s orders. As if to teach Yui a lesson.

🕰️ She’d be exorcised. A formal exorcism to be taken place in one of the church’s basements. And by Seiji’s orders, would Yui be forced to watch.

🕰️ The woman would smile at Yui, despite the pain, and Yui would stand there, next to her father, as the love of her life was killed.

🕰️ Yui’s Lovers’ last words were simple, sweet, yet soul crushing.

🕰️ “You’ll do wonders, Yui.”

🕰️ After it was done, Seiji would pass Yui by, before muttering one last remark at her.

🕰️ “Understand, that this is what shall come to pass when you entertain the devils sin. You, too, shall be cleansed.”

🕰️ To this day, Yui could never fill the hole in her heart. The place that the woman left was infillable. She didn’t want anyone to become the next.

🕰️ In fact, Yui partially blames herself. For not being too careful, for letting her pride get the best of her. For choosing herself for once.

🕰️ The night before her lover would be killed, she suggested to run away. Just the two of them. It was still in the alleyway where they first met, and would they still share a cigarette and more.

🕰️ Yui would be hesitant. Especially about her father and other underlying factors.

🕰️ Yui would live with that regret for the rest of her days, constantly replaying that moment in her mind.

🕰️ To this day, Yui wishes she ran away. At least then, her lover would be alive and well, and they’d be happy. Hell, she’d be happy.

🕰️ I’d like to this the woman Yui was far too in love with for her own good could’ve been a human, or possibly a vampire.

🕰️ Thus making her first experiences with vampires lighthearted. And something to want and care about.

🕰️ Unlike the current, she’d reflect on the woman and not care as much as she’d realize that vampires and those of the supernatural can be good and are like any other people with goals, motivations, and aspirations.

🕰️ I’d also think that the vampire lover would be an aristocrat, further pushing how Yui can see the good in others and how her lover was different.

🕰️ it was ironic though, as what is a mortal to do when their immortal lover is dead and gone. Buried in an unmarked grave.

🕰️ Normally, it’s the immortal lamenting, so Yui always finds ways to mask the pain with this idea.

🕰️ Yui would constantly place white chrysanthemums on her lover’s grave. Which represent mourning, love, and eternal rest.

🕰️ Along with white babys breath, which symbolize everlasting love.

🕰️ I suppose it goes to show that even in death, Yui will mourn and love her immortal or mortal lover.

🕰️ Yui was the sun, and her lover, the moon.