#lemonade poem part 6
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mom, would you wash my back this once? and then we can forget
Beyoncé Accountability (Lemonade Poem, Part 6) / unknown / @/queensummit (tumblr) / Ocean Vuong On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous / Lady Bird (2017) dir. Greta Gerwig / unknown / unknown
#on mothers#on family#on grief#on emotion#on love#on loss#web weave#web weaving#poetry#beyonce#accountability#lemonade poem part 6#ocean vuong#on earth we're briefly gorgeous#lady bird#greta gerwig#words#writing#quote#text#poem#spilled ink#dark academia#dark academia poetry#dark academia quote#spilled thoughts#spilled poetry
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Writer’s Month 2023 Masterpost
For the first time, I did it; all 31 @writersmonth prompts have been filled. Which means I can do the traditional end-of-event masterpost!
Day 1: Blossoms (Carmen Sandiego fic)🌎
Day 2: Perfume (TTS fic) ☀
Day 3: At a Festival (TTS Little Cass fic) ☀
Day 4: Memories (Carmen Sandiego fic) 🌍
Day 5: Poolside (Carmen Sandiego fic) 🌏
Day 6: Surf (Carmen Sandiego fic) 🌎
Day 7: In the Mountains (TTS fic) ☀
Day 8: Watermelon (original piece) 🐉
Day 9: Home for the Summer (Gargoyles fic) 🌙
Day 10: Sandcastle (original poem idk how that happened) ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Day 11: On a Roadtrip (TTS Modern AU fic) ☀
Day 12: Lemonade (Carmen Sandiego fic) 🌍
Day 13: Fan (TTS Little Cass fic) ☀
Day 14: Vacation Fling (original piece) 🐉
Day 15: Blue (TTS fic) ☀
Day 16: Energy (original poem I was tired) ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Day 17: At a Wedding (TTS fic) ☀
Day 18: Free (Camen Sandiego fic) 🌏
Day 19: Clouds (TTS fic) ☀
Day 20: Different First Meeting (TTS AU where Eugene and Cass meet as kids) ☀
Day 21: At a Bar (original piece) 🐉
Day 22: Sunscreen (TTS fic) ☀
Day 23: Storm (TTS Little Cass fic) ☀
Day 24: Summer (Carmen Sandiego fic) 🌎
Day 25: Relax (The Sea Beast fic) 🌊
Day 26: Found (TTS fic) ☀
Day 27: At the Beach (Frozen fic) ❄
Day 28: Bright (original poem) ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Day 29: Fireflies (Liberty's Kids fic) 🦅
Day 30: Kid Story/Children AU (part two of Day 20) ☀
Day 31: Fall (Carmen Sandiego fic) 🌍
As I was putting this together, I was forced to confront the embarrassing reality that I actually forgot what I wrote for several of these days. 🤦♀️
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“Is Wanda Maximoff really dead?”
Elena Poniatowska, from “La Flor de Lis” // unknown // Ethel Cain - Family Tree // Beyoncé Accountability (Lemonade Poem, Part 6) // Ocean Vuong, from On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous // Clarice Lispector, Água Viva
#marvel#agatha all along#wandavision#wanda maximoff#billy maximoff#maximoff family#web weaving#existential crisis
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“Pink Waves” by Sawako Nakayasu
There’s something sweet and childlike about something being both “pink” and a “wave"—(whether I’m thinking about pink lemonade or sunset tinted beaches I will not disclose) and it feels soft and kind. The poem itself is written with barely any thoughts of traditional meter / formatting, I believe as it is a single long stanza without a consistent rhyme pattern or meter pattern…perhaps a flexible sonata form?
I also think that the difficulty to properly place the format of the poem goes hand in hand with the actual content of the poem, which unlike the title, is more granular. Comprising of fits of warmth ("yes we are erotic warm anemone”) and a slight chill (“internal findings crawl back in the dirt and undulate out”), “Pink Waves” by Sawako Nakayasu (link) details the shifting expressions of human loss.
Question: Why does Sawako Nakayasu express themes of love and death as “undulating” waves?
It’s been a while since I’ve last stumbled on a poem like this—bits and pieces of it printed on the forefront of my mind and I read it dutifully. Sometimes, the number six pops up and I think of this piece again…opening up with “6 / was it hardly a wave”.
Favorite Lines:
“sliding between dreamlight and the way it rolls off”
“cantilevered muscles in the backyard of my body”
“i think that some people just have no history of art”
The themes of love and loss are non-linear, I realize. I think the human race acknowledges this—we see the concepts of life and death (how they’re fleeting) in our everyday phrases (ex. “YOLO”), and most of us understand that not all relationships are going to be perfect. But when we are deeply immersed in our daily to-do’s, the love we give others and the love we receive, it’s difficult to reflect and remind ourselves that such things are often destined to sour up and then smooth down (a rollercoaster, if you will).
Such worries are not entirely necessary—why worry when things are going so well??
Someone I knew who was one year older than me passed away quietly in her dorm on a Tuesday night. She had a black belt in taekwondo, played the violin effortlessly, and had gotten into a prestigious college on a scholarship, studying pre-med. It was only her first semester in college, and her body had chosen that time to be her last.
I wonder if the last time I met up with her, she knew. But, she probably didn't—she looked at me the same way she had six years ago, slurred the same letters in her speech, we went to the beach we always went to and laid there until it got dark. She said, “see you winter break”, as we parted ways, and I fully believed that we would meet again.
This is an example of a personal wave. Where the first intake of news got me breathless and queasy, knocking into me with a force that made me stagger back. I think of her now and I feel the waves, smaller ones that I can stand on my toes to jump over. Loss is non-linear in that the news of her death had put my life at a stand-still for days, an arc in the graph, but still i continue to move, carrying pieces of her in my memory.
Sawako Nakayasu’s From “Pink Waves” presents the “non-linearness” in a visual form, where she quite literally shifts content from “light” (mentioned 3x in lines 5-6) and an overall airy feeling in the first seven lines to the dramatics of death (mentioned 3x in lines 8, 10, 16). And I think that can be projected onto our forms too, how we experience periods of torment and then a pink-shaded comfort. Pink is sensitive, feeling, exposure, love, and vulnerability. Pink is us. And pink is developed in waves.
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All right. I'm bored and feel like doing this here, so I'm gonna rate some of the ability names (English version, at least) for fun/no absolute reason
(For the record, as of the day writing this post, I've only read snatches of the manga, none of the LNs, and have just watched the anime)
Let's GOOOO
Armed Detective Agency
All Men Are Equal (Fukuzawa) - 7/10 good, fits the ability, but it doesn't blow me away. Honestly makes me think of the American Declaration of Independence and I feel slightly bad for that
Thou Shalt Not Die (Yosano) - 9/10 seriously cool. I love that it's phrased like a command...it's both desperation and a demand i love it.
Super/Ultra Deduction (Ranpo) - 4/10 sorry Ranpo but this sounds like an adaptation of superstrength or super smarts for deduction. IDK maybe Fukuzawa made it up on the spot for Ranpo?
No Longer Human (Dazai) - 8/10 very fitting...captures Dazai's personality and has fun implications about abilities being part of someone's humanity even though that's probably not intended. Just an author work's ref but still a cool name anyway
Doppo/The Matchless Poet (Kunikida) - 8/10 but ONLY for the Matchless Poet (or Lone Poet) because it's so Kunikida and really conjures the image of that whole paragon archetype. Doppo Poet? Really english dub??
Light Snow (Tanizaki) - 6/10 but may get higher depending on tanizaki's arc. Such an inoffensive ability name, cute, understates what a terrifying ability it could be...a bit like the boy himself. Maybe 7 or 8 out of 10, hmm...
Beast Beneath the Moonlight/Byakko (Atsushi) - 6/10 sorry my boy, but its such a literal name (like Yosano's but descriptive instead of imperative). I'm not sure where Byakko comes from but you should have stuck with that as it's a solid 10/10 name.
Undefeated by the Rain (Kenji) - 8/10 i love the image it draws. Standing strong even though the rain is pouring WHILE it's pouring. Love you, Kenji
Demon Snow (Kyouka) - 7/10 tbh it doesnt make too much sense if you think about it too hard but it sure is a cool name regardless. And it's fun to say so my bias is leaking....
Port Mafia
Falling Camellia (Hirotsu) - 9/10 old man your ability name is PRETTY for an ability that's literally just pushing. But the words kinda fit the vibe and make the ability sound cool
Vita Sexualis (Mori) - 5/10 this is latin for sex power and im sure if you've read my tags I have petty beef against sex and romance (it's mostly as a joke but I'm still gonna let it color all my opinions). Sorry Elise...you're cool but the ability name is honestly sus. However, points for the language consistency (dead languages make anything sound cool)
Golden Demon (Kouyou) - 6/10 sorry Kouyou, but like Atsushi's, it's too literal and descriptive. But at least it sticks to the original title's name
Lemonade/Lemon Bomb (Kajii) - ???/10 i honestly dont know what i feel about this one. Kajii is the reason I look at the whole "abilities are an expression of your soul" thing with utter bemusement. I do LOVE his ability cause it's so unnecessarily random but the name? Idk...maybe 5/10? References the title but also feels slightly too literal?
For the Tainted Sorrow (Chuuya) - 10/10 im sorry but the way it sounds in English appeals to me personally. It's both the title and starring line of IRL Nakahara's poem and I honestly love that so much. Such gravity in those lines (wait....??)
Rashoumon (Akutagawa) - 10/10 it just gets points for its name staying the same in all languages. See, Atsushi? This is what you could have had with Byakko
Midwinter Memento (Tachihara) - 8/10 could be higher honestly because I love the alliteration and the phrase just has nice vibes. Don't know how well it fits the metalbending but it sure fits Tachihara and the way the past haunts him ya know? It makes me wonder if his ability is passed down or gets stronger with remembered trauma or whatever?
Dogra Magra (Q) - 9/10 no clue what this means and google isn't helping. But again with the language consistency...and it also just sounds cool and rhyme-y and slightly horrory. Its the vibes
Flawless (Odasaku) - 8/10 i like the name and all the things it connotes. You have to get real philosophical to parse the connection between his ability and its name, though. But that's why I love it
The Madness of the Jewel King (Ace) - 6/10 a cool name but the existence of Ace confuses me. Wiki says something about Alan Bennet or a character from Dostoy. Im here wondering why another foreign (it seems) dude is working so high up in the PM. Mori and his western loving tendencies, i guess? Anyway. The name also kinda feels more descriptive, but it gets points for drama
#well this was fun#im also kinda curious about the fandom's opinion on these names#i mean ive seen posts here and there but...#well anyway...i may do some of the other groups later for fun again#also they totally missed out on telling us how ability names come to be with atsushi#like child...how did you know it was called beast beneath the moonlight or byakko?#kudos i guess to the manga having a literal reason for ability names too that ties with the theme tho?#like words and names have power or some other nonsense....#anyway apologies for some of the lower ratings....but im sticking to it#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bsd musings#humor#sort of?#armed detective agency#port mafia#too lazy to tag all the characters#spitting nonsense
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2020 Poetry in Motion Series #6 - Saturday Morning Cartoons: Strider Hiryuu | © poet.dreamer.fool - based on the poem: “Strider Hiryuu”
Get the cake and its see ya Wouldn’t want to be ya I don’t even want to be me See the game in 4d But I’m playing in 3 move with purpose Because In real life 10 times out of 10 The hare beat the tortoise More flower than florists Dodge emotional tourists Lack of sleep got me feeling porous Still Cooler than Mama bear’s pooridge A little Liquid courage And bad pizza High in a low land Chichen Itza reading plato Watching attack of the killer tomatoes I’ll always be myself Simon ain’t gotta say so 1 2 3 ok go I spit shit that burn slow Get in the booth And hit you with that yoga inferno See that boy go See that boy flow grill the game up With a little fire And some j. Coles Ironically Way cold My Rhyme book Classic like mozart
Snap back on backwards Like ok bart Don’t start Play your part The whole world’s stage Six feet apart Or wind up six feet deep in that grave People think they on social media But its really shadows in caves The first lie you learn Is how you supposed to behave And what to think As you grow up up The best parts of you shrink They want you to wear your green The fuck I look like? Link? Don’t blink Just keep it pushing like a slinky Dimes bigger than the boogers Off ren and stimpy Turned Lemons into lemonade
Living life simply
Kick shit like skip it Flip it like strider hiryuu Hi boo Could I interest you in some revolution? The government aint a solution. Every Captain planet Got a capitain pollution the opps slide the cops get artful with Their homicides I’m blinded by rage But I still see the world Through a childs eyes They will never get shine If they can take it It was never really yours Don’t press rewind When you should be pressing fast forward 99% of whispers should of been roars And 99% of wars Shouldn’t of happened He thought as he was clappin Echoes sound Like that shit hit Before they say action That ain’t the audience clapping We strapped up and strapped in Whats up and it goes down Thought yourself king Then your ace jacks your queen now joker aint the only sad clown
Innocence lost Like a roll in a dice game Right around the time They started giving evil things Nice names In they eye of the storm I’m actually quite tame Sword like pen Shield like pad That’s how I fight pain
#freestyle#poetry#spilled words#slam poetry#spoken word#independent rap#independent music#rap#freestyle poetry#recognizingthevoiceless#recording#underground hip-hop
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Beyonce: Love Drought
"Reformation""Forgiveness"
Love Drought co-written by artist Ingrid, who was childhood friends with Beyonce. The song, in fact, is not about Jay Z, but about Ingrid’s professional relationships and how she was lied to by Beyonce’s label.
Ingid said: "I couldn't get out of my head the fact that they just lied to me," she said. “The only way that I could really get over it was like, 'She’s gonna sing the song I wrote about her label one day.'" However, we may believe that in the context of Lemonade, the song can be interpreted in the context of relationships.
The first lines of the song ““Ten times out of nine, I know you're lying / But nine times out of ten, I know you're trying / So I'm trying to be fair” “ express understanding and change. In the verses “I don't care about the lights or the beams / Spend my life in the dark for the sake of you and me” refer to Beyonce’s success and fame that she would still be willing to give up. The suggestion that she’d be just as happy without her fame is an expression of love and dedication to her lover.
“Cause you and me could move a mountain” is a reflection on the strength that a good relationship gave her. Beyonce dedicates the first half of the first album to seeking empowerment within, but here she’s vulnerable and open enough to admit that the relationship was also a source of power and energy for her. “We could make it rain now” is a metaphor referring to the song title - rain is necessary to cure a drought, just like love is needed to cure the “love drought”.
The verses “Tell me, what did I do wrong? / Oh, already asked that, my bad” suggest that “Love Drought” is a new chapter in which Beyonce starts to reflect and seek fault in her own actions and mistakes. It’s much different to the songs that this chapter is preceded about - for a change the lyrics don’t express anger or don’t suggest Beyonce will be better off without her partner, but shows how much she needs to understand why their relationship has not worked out.
“You and me will stop this love drought” is probably the crucial verse for this song and a promise of making an effort to cure the drought and thus, fix the relationship. The fact that the phrase used is “you and me” once again shows the strength that lies within being together.
The visuals for the song begin with Beyonce lying in an empty superdome, wearing a white lace dress. White is the color of purity and innocence, which creates great contrast to the first part of the album, where Beyonce’s costumography is strong and vivid. The white is also a juxtaposition to red that dominated the visuals for 6 inch - red is the color of power, danger, sex and sacrifice. The poem “Reformation”, followed with the change of visuals, show a change in Beyonce’s attitude.
We can also see this change through the fact that the wedding ring is back on Beyonce’s hand - its most probably a reversal of the gesture from “Don’t Hurt Yourself” where she throws the ring at the camera.
In the visuals, Beyonce leads a group of eight other women into the water. They are unified in dress, expression and motion, which is once again a possible allusion to female empowerment and the problems that connect all black women. Wading into the watter suggests a form of Baptism, which traces back to the concept of being reborn, reforming and changing the perspective.
Final clip is Beyonce affirmed with makeup similar to the art of Ori used in Apathy, which is probably another allusion to spirituality and seeking God within, which directly connects to the idea of Baptism and purification expressed in the visuals. The shot rotates, which may suggest a journey that has come full circle.
He bathes me until I forget their names and faces. I ask him to look me in the eye when I come home. Why do you deny yourself heaven? Why do you consider yourself undeserving? Why are you afraid of love? You think it's not possible for someone like you. But you are the love of my life. You are the love of my life. You are the love of my life.
Title: reformation - a moment of change after thinking about childhood & daddy lessons - catharsis, the next stage
Visual: empty stadium (New Orleans, Superdome) - important because place of her first Super Bowl performance & shelter during hurricane Katrina (three people dies) , Beyonce lies alone in the middle → loneliness, black and white images (return to the past) → house and burned plantation, reformation in race equality, abolishing slavery
Rhetorical questions “Why are you afraid of love?” - not directed at anyone
“You are the love of my life” - tripling, echo (empty stadium)
Baptize me ... now that reconciliation is possible. If we're gonna heal, let it be glorious. 1,000 girls raise their arms. Do you remember being born? Are you thankful for the hips that cracked? The deep velvet of your mother and her mother and her mother? There is a curse that will be broken.
It is important to forgive as it is the only way to heal.
Visuals of the lake - connected with baptism, symbolising purification and a new beginning, Beyonce being ready to move on.
Cracked bowl - kitsugi art, broken pieces of pottery repaired using laquer mixed with gold. Symbolises how Beyonce’s broken relationship can be fixed, and will become even more beatiful.
Motif of the past and present merging, generations of women going through the same issues, hopeful tone: ‘There is a curse that will be broken’.
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TV I Liked In 2019
Every year I reflect on the pop culture I enjoyed and put it in some sort of order.
The era of “peak TV” has never been more apparent to me than the past year. I am very aware of the many shows I have not seen (don’t have Amazon Prime, for example), and yet I expanded my list from a top 10 to top 15 and still had to leave out A LOT of stuff I really liked! These picks include my legitimate favorites, ranging from truly important looks at the criminal justice system to ensemble comedies that I couldn’t wait to return to. In another year I may have been able to include the latest seasons of Barry, Stranger Things, Queer Eye, Bojack Horseman, Glow, or the finale seasons of Legion, A Series of Unfortunate Events, Veep, Silicon Valley and The Deuce, all of which I’d still recommend. But these stood out even more.
14 (tie). Chernobyl (HBO) / The Hot Zone (National Geographic)
Two limited series focusing on real-life disasters in the 1980s: the meltdown of the Chernobyl nuclear power plant and an Ebola outbreak outside of Washington DC. Chernobyl is an incredibly harrowing account of humanity’s inability to believe things that don’t mesh with their interpretations of reality and the destructive power of lies and cover-ups. The Hot Zone adapts the non-fiction Richard Preston book, a revealing look at pandemics, the power of fear and human resolve. Taken together, they raise interesting questions about governmental gatekeeping, professional competence and personal sacrifice.
13. Mindhunter: Season 2 (Netflix)
Joe Penhall and David Fincher’s look at the early days of the FBI’s criminal profiling department goes broader and deeper in its second season. There are still chilling interviews with incarcerated serial killers and criminal minds (including Charles Manson this time out), but the season really revolves around the Atlanta child murders. This focus provides a compelling look at who the justice system helps and who it ignores, and the investigative – and bureaucratic – work it takes to put together a case.
10 (tie). A.P. Bio: Season 2 (NBC) / The Last O.G.: Season 2 (TBS) / Schitt’s Creek: Season 5 (Pop)
Three great hangout comedies that really came into their own in their most recent seasons. A.P. Bio transcended its first-season preoccupation with revenge and leaned into its fantastic supporting cast – one of the best comedic ensembles around – to become a show I loved spending time with each week. (Thank goodness it’s coming back via NBC’s upcoming “Peacock” service.) The Last O.G. has had a lot on its mind since it began, but its second season covers privilege and the opportunity gap among other issues, ending with a note-perfect homage to Spike Lee’s Do The Right Thing, making it an unexpectedly resonant comedy. Schitt’s Creek is obviously having a moment right now, and Season 5 (the first season I watched as it aired) was perhaps its best yet. While the whole cast is great, as a big fan of Best In Show and A Mighty Wind, I love seeing Eugene Levy and Catherine O’Hara share the screen again.
9. Crashing: Season 3 (HBO)
The first two seasons of Pete Holmes’ show made my list in previous years so I’d be remiss not to include the final one, which may be its finest. Pete spends the season making a lot of mistakes – saying yes to things (gigs, relationships) that he probably shouldn’t – and although they provide growth, he doesn’t come across as the “good guy” in how he deals with all of them. This adds additional nuance to the show, questioning its straight white male protagonist’s actions rather than merely rewarding him for following his passions, while still leading to an uplifting and fitting finale.
8. Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: Season 4 (Netflix)
Netflix split the final season of Kimmy Schmidt into two parts, so technically only the final six episodes premiered in 2019. Those alone warrant a spot on the list, as the show concluded by following its idiosyncratic bliss to the end. The final group of episodes includes a (pre-movie) takedown of Cats, a Sliding Doors homage and an unexpectedly moving series finale. If this one fell off your radar a few years ago, it’s worth revisiting and seeing through.
7. What We Do In The Shadows: Season 1 (FX)
Based on the horror-comedy film of the same name, this series follows a different crew of vampires who live together on Staten Island. I was initially skeptical because I love the movie and couldn’t see how a television version could do anything but dilute its charms. On the contrary, the show broadens the universe in hilarious ways by introducing characters like “energy vampire” Colin Robinson and the incredible Vampiric Council (with so many incredible cameos!). The core actors are all wonderful, but the MVP has to be Matt Berry’s louche and libidinous Laszlo whose line readings are simply hysterical.
6. Les Misérables (BBC/PBS)
Although it aired in the UK in 2018, the BBC/PBS production of Victor Hugo’s epic didn’t grace American screens until early 2019 so I’m including it here. I am a big fan of the musical adaptation and find it quite successful at cramming so much story into a three-hour runtime, though it obviously has limits to how much of the source material it can explore. This (non-musical) adaptation’s six episodes allow for more of Hugo’s tale of forgiveness versus retribution to live and breathe. The terrific cast includes Dominic West as Jean Valjean and David Oyelowo as Inspector Javert, as well as Lily Collins as Fantine whose backstory is more fully realized here than the format of the stage show allows.
5. Our Planet (Netflix)
Essentially a sequel to the Planet Earth documentaries, with the same production team and David Attenborough narration, this Netflix series presents another stunning collection of nature footage that showcases the incredible diversity and beauty of animal life on Earth. Each episode includes a haunting reminder of man’s impact on the featured habitats and serves as a rallying cry in the fight against climate change.
4. The Good Place: Seasons 3-4 (NBC)
The Good Place has been high on my list since its first season and shows no signs of dropping in quality or esteem as it enters its final stretch of episodes. 2019 encompassed the end of Season 3 (including the hilariously imaginative visit to the Interdimensional Hole of Pancakes) and the beginning of Season 4 (with its crew of new characters and just as many reversals and rug-pulls as you’d expect). The final episode before its winter break was “The Answer,” a touching spotlight on William Matthew Harper’s Chidi, which might have been enough to make this list all on its own. (And given the surprise cameo/quasi-crossover in its first episode of 2020, I wouldn’t be surprised if it shows up here again next year too.)
3. Unbelievable (Netflix)
The true story of a serial rape case adapted from journalism by ProPublica, The Marshall Project and This American Life, Unbelievable is one of the most simultaneously heartbreaking and satisfying procedurals I have ever seen. As crushing as it is to watch the initial investigation completely mishandled and devolve to gaslighting, it is powerful and inspiring to watch compassionate public servants and actual good detective work be carried out as the series progresses. Kaitlyn Dever, Merritt Wever and Toni Collette are uniformly excellent here (as they also were in their respective film roles in Booksmart, Marriage Story and Knives Out this year).
2. Watchmen (HBO)
Showrunner Damon Lindelof (LOST, The Leftovers) takes some incredibly bold swings in his limited-run sequel to the groundbreaking 80s graphic novel that deconstructed the ideas of vigilantism and superheroics. Picking up in the same alternate reality as that story but in present day, the main action is shifted to Tulsa, Oklahoma, and the central theme is race relations. It could have gone way off the rails in a million different ways, but I found it to be incredibly successful. Each episode is a captivating work of art and it somehow seems to top itself with each subsequent installment. While I appreciate the book, I don’t love it; this series takes that source material seriously and, to me, completely transcends it.
1. When They See Us (Netflix)
As compelling as it is devastating, this miniseries from Ava DuVernay (who directed and co-wrote all 4 parts) dramatizes the lives of the wrongly convicted children the media dubbed “the Central Park Five.” Even with some familiarity of the story from watching Ken Burns’ documentary years ago, I was utterly gutted by the depiction of the injustices and systemic racism that stole these childhoods. Everyone in the cast shines, but Jharrel Jerome’s portrayal of Korey Wise (the only one of the group played by the same actor as a child and adult – and so convincingly) is truly phenomenal. Not a comfortable watch but an essential one.
Bonus! Musical Comedy Specials:
The Unauthorized Bash Bros. Experience (Netflix) – This “visual poem” from the Lonely Island presents “an album of raps” recorded by Jose Canseco (Andy Samberg) and Mark McGwire (Akiva Schaffer) at their steroid-fueled 80s peak with the Oakland A’s. Your likely enjoyment is probably about equal to your reaction to that description. The songs are great, catchy and hysterical on their own, but the videos take it to another level, parodying everything from 80s infomercials to Enya to Beyonce’s Lemonade. There is no 30 minutes of TV I rewatched more in 2019.
John Mulaney and the Sack Lunch Bunch (Netflix) – Debuting on Christmas Eve, this children’s television homage/parody snuck in just under the wire. The words of the day could be fear and mortality, as the group of kids Mulaney interacts with reveal their personal phobias and several skits revolve around existential angst. By the end of the first musical number I was sold, by the time David Byrne showed up I was committed, and by “Mr. Music’s” madcap finale I wished it could last forever.
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Masterlist of Lifestyle Journal Ideas
I was going to post images with each listing, but 100 pictures on one Tumblr post was quite a task. So, if you’d like to see examples of any of these, I am adding them to my Pinterest Board which can be found [here].
1. Books To Read- Color them in as you go! Or make a fun list of them and check them off one at a time.
2. All About Me- Make doodles of things you love, add quotes, draw yourself!
3. Future Log- There are so many ways to make this page. Please do some research to see which would work best for you
4. Movies To Watch- Pretty self-explanatory, but there are many ways to do this page too
5. Skills To Learn- Jot down all the things you want to learn
6. Important Numbers and Addresses- In case of emergency of course. Also, be careful what you put in this part for your own privacy reasons
7. Year In Pixels- Honestly, one of my favorite pages
8. Fonts, Banners, and Frame Ideas- For practice and to choose from when you are having trouble being creative
9. Snail Mail Log- Keeping a list of people who you want to send letters to
10. Savings Tracker- It’s always fun to see how much you have saved up
11. TV Series Tracker- Keep track of all the shows you still need to binge
12. Monthly Challenges- I know I haven’t been helpful with this lately, but you can always search for challenges on my page
13. Music Playlists- A list of songs that describe you, your goals, things you love, etc.
14. Timeline of Your Life- This was hard for me to make. My life isn’t all that exciting
15. Inspiration Page- Fill it with quotes, pictures, memories, etc.
16. Self-Care List/Ideas- I posted many lists like this on my Pinterest if you want more ideas
17. Monthly/Yearly Memories- Look back on all the good and bad things that you’ve gotten over and endured.
18. Sleep Tracker- See how many hours you get each night. This also works well when paired with number 7.
19. Me Time Log- Keep track of how many hours you spend with yourself. We all need to learn to love on ourselves a little more.
20. Tiny Adventures- Go out of your comfort zone and go on some tiny adventures like reading in public, talking to a stranger, giving people compliments, etc.
21. Word Tracker- For those who are writers who like to procrastinate
22. Daily To-Do List- This can be done on your weekly pages or you can make a page specifically for daily sticky notes.
23. Blog Post Ideas- Got an idea, but you’re not at your computer or have what you need for your post? WRITE IT DOWN
24. Fitness Log- Keep track of how much and when you work out or stretch or do yoga or and of those fun physical activities.
25. Food Log- If you’re trying to lose weight or just get healthy or just want to track your food intake for fun, this is for you!
26. Meal Prep- I love how cute and helpful these pages can be.
27. Gift Lists- Ever see something and say to yourself, “Man, ____ would really like that”? Keep a list of things people would like so that you don’t worry about it when it comes to holiday time or birthdays.
28. Grocery Lists- Every time I go shopping, I forget something because I didn’t write it down.
29. Goals- Oh, yes! It’s 2018. We need some goals. Monthly, weekly, daily, YEARLY. Just get some goals and aim for them.
30. Recipes To Try- I see nice recipes all the time on Facebook, but I never think about them again after I keep scrolling. It’s bad.
31. Daily Affirmations- Give yourself some compliments and some emotional support
32. Business Plan- Make yourself a good businesswoman or businessman or businessperson in 2018. You got this.
33. Birthdays- Keep track of all those important people in your life that need to be remembered on their special day.
34. Work Hour Log- Sometimes we don’t keep track of all the things we get paid for. Actual work, babysitting, photography jobs, writing jobs, pet sitting, house sitting, etc.
35. Wishlists- Not so you can #treatyourself, but so that you can make note of things you really want.
36. Gratitude Log- It’s always good to have a moment of gratitude with yourself. Make it a monthly challenge if you need to!
37. Quotes- Your own, friend quotes, celebrity quotes, author quotes, and lyrics.
38. Illustrations and Doodles- Doodling helps you keep your mind fresh and ready to react quickly to situations.
39. Jokes- Your own, ones you heard, ones you read, etc.
40. New Discoveries and Interesting Facts- Find a new interesting fact? How about that lemonade is basically Sprite in almost any other country than America?
41. Travel Log- Places you want to go! There are so many ways to do this, so look up different versions before starting!
42. Family and Friend Favorites- Their favorite colors, animals, stores, places, hobbies, etc.
43. DIY Projects- Things you want to try out someday.
44. Chore List- Keep track of when you do your chores so that your house doesn’t become disgusting or dusty.
45. Bucketlist- What do you want to do before graduation, moving out, marriage, having kids, etc.
46. Story Ideas- I always come up with story ideas and then when I sit down to write them, I blank.
47. Period Log- For people with periods that have many PMS symptoms or even PMDD symptoms. This is a great way to show your doctor all of the things you go through each cycle.
48. Words That Make You Happy- Silly words, ugly words, words that are fun to say, etc.
49. Things That Make You Happy- People, places, and things.
50. Monthly Habits- Water intake, cleaning, bathing, exercising, reading, etc.
51. Story Titles- This can be titles for books, short stories, poems, or just nice sounding titles for anything.
52. Made Up Words- I make myself laugh with all the words I make up on the daily.
53. Follower Counter- This page keeps me inspired to keep doing what I love.
54. Index- Always have an index for easy access to the pages you want to find.
55. Icons- Sometimes we need to have icons to make our pages pretty. Sometimes we make too many icons and never use them (me).
56. Packing List- For those who travel often or stay at friends’ houses more than our own, it’s good not to forget the things we need.
57. Morning Routines- Our bodies need routines for mornings to get us ready for the day.
58. Nightly Routines- Our bodies need routines for nights to prepare us for sleep. (see what I did there?)
59. Weight Tracker- If you’re struggling with your weight, keep a chart tracker or add your daily weight to your calendar.
60. Pen Test Page- If you get new pens, highlighters, or markers, its best to test them out before using them.
61. Brain Dump- Sometimes we just need to jot down ideas or thoughts. It’s okay if they don’t make sense.
62. Spending Log- Keep track of what you spend because you might need that someday.
63. Water Tracker- HYDRATE
64. Habit Tracker Reward System- This is something I came up with myself, so if you have questions, message me!
65. Name Lists (For Babies and Stories)- Keep a list of cool names for characters or even future babies.
66. Looking Forward To...- Birthdays, holidays, raises, pay days, vacations, etc.
67. Compliment Lists- Make a list of your go-to compliments, your favorite ones people have given you, etc.
68. Level 10 Life- Please look up what this is before jumping into it!
69. Pet Care Log- Keep track of how much you do with your pets. Walks, play time, park time, play dates, baths, etc.
70. Achievements- What have you done that you are proud of?
71. Weekly Log- Keep track of your week. This is one of the most used pages in any bullet journal honestly.
72. Monthly Log- Another overly used page in any bullet journal. Very important.
73. Daily Log- I don’t do this too often, but I know it helps others who really need a whole page for each day.
74. Bill Tracker- This was fun to make and something I will be using now
75. Income Tracker- How much and how frequently do you get paid?
76. Deadline Page- Prepare yourself for things that you need to get done. Do not procrastinate this year!
77. Vocabulary Practice- Sometimes we just need to educate ourselves on our own terms. (and with our own terms. Anyone? Anyone?)
78. Doctor Appointment Log- If you don’t want to add them to your calendar or they are too far out to add to the calendar you’re using.
79. Username and Password List- Be careful with this page. If someone finds your bullet journal, this could be bad.
80. Monthly Cover Page- These are so cute! I just started doing them, but they make my journal so artsy and pretty.
81. Dream Log- This is a fun one. Track your dreams. This would be good to line up with how many hours you get as well.
82. Favorites List- What are YOUR favorites? Movies, snacks, drinks, subjects, people, colors, animals, etc.
83. Habits To Break- Do you bite your nails? Quote The Office too much? Throw clothes into piles on your floor? STOP THAT.
84. Small Things That Matter- Puppies, getting up in the morning, pennies, smiling at yourself, laughter, etc. Remind yourself that there is good in the world.
85. Things To Sell- Get rid of the things you don’t need. Or make things to sell! Be prosperous this year.
86. School Schedule- High school and college students really need this. Even teachers do too. Make a chart of your classes, room numbers, buildings, and times.
87. House Projects- Things that need fixing or improvements around the house.
88. Day Trip Ideas- Fun places to go when you have the time.
89. Things I Am Bad At- It’s okay to admit our shortcomings and work on them. Or just accept them for what they are.
90. Resolutions- YES! Make yourself this better this year. Be the best you.
91. Crochet/Knit Log- When making a blanket, small items, or just keeping track of your improvements in your skill.
92. Future Planning- Make a list of the things you want in your future and how you plan on getting them.
93. Quirk List- Ever notice you do small little weird things? Make a list to appreciate who you are.
94. Who Borrowed What- Sometimes people borrow things and you forget until you need it again. By then, they threw it out or gave it to someone else.
95. Six Word Stories- Get those creative juices pumping.
96. Love Yourself- Write down all the things you love about yourself. Appreciate yourself.
97. Paying It Back- Honestly, a good page to have, but it doesn’t get much attention from me.
98. Childhood Dreams- We should always try to look back on what we thought we wanted
99. Good Deed Ideas- Ever think “wow, wouldn’t it be great if I could _____”?
100. Mind Mapping- There are a few reasons I really enjoy this, but it really helps me get my thoughts and ideas out more easily
#bullet journal#organization#bullet journaling#100 things#masterlist#list#high school#college#studyblr#study blog#study#dot journal#dot journaling#studyspiration#pages
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I Learned It From The Pizza Man Epilogue: I couldn't think of a witty title
6 months later
The late June air was hot and sticky, the kind of weather that made you dream of the winter you'd been complaining about only months earlier.
Pidge, Hunk, and Shiro lounged under a large tree, ice cold drinks in hand. Keith and Lance had left about twenty minutes earlier to, "get refills" on their pretty much full drinks. They probably thought they were being subtle.
Pidge took a sip from her lemonade. "Where do you think the lovebirds ran off to because it sure as hell wasn't to get a refill."
"Not sure, but if I had to guess I'd say they're probably off kissing somewhere. Like when they needed to 'thank their favorite professors' at graduation."
Pidge laughed. "I still can't believe you actually fell for that excuse and followed them no less! It's your own damn fault that you walked in on them making out."
Hunk put his hands up defensively. "Hey, don't laugh! I had to see my oldest and dearest friend with his shirt halfway off and his tongue down someone's throat. I'm scarred for life, dude."
Shiro winced. "Oh come on, that someone is my little brother. I really didn't need that mental image."
"I'll take that over the two months of pining that preceded their first date." Pidge rolled her eyes. "I swear to God if I had to hear about Keith's 'gemstone colored eyes' one more time I was going to puke."
"Keith was just as bad. He got back from your apartment the first time with this dopey smile on his face," Shiro faked a swoon, imitating said dopey smile, "and he's got these blue eyes, not light like the sky but dark like the ocean."
"Oh my God, really?" Pidge laughed.
"Yeah, I gave Lance the codename Mr. Ocean Eyes to make fun of Keith, as any good older brother would."
"That's better than ours, we just called Keith Pizza Boy," Hunk piped up.
Pidge's eyes widened and she gestured excitedly: "Oh, oh Hunk, do you remember the poem?"
"Of course."
Shiro seemed confused. "Wait, what poem? I didn't hear about a poem."
"The week before Lance told Keith to him ask him out Keith wrote Lance a poem." Pidge grinned and splayed her hand out in front of her. "I know it may seem kind of cheesy but a boy like you makes romance easy." she quoted.
"Really," Shiro snorted then grinned, eyes sparkling. "Oh my God, Keith is never gonna hear the end of this."
"I'm never going to hear the end of what?" Keith and Lance were back, clothing rumpled and hair a mess, a suspicious bruise blooming on Keith's neck.
Their friends exchanged a Look™.
"Hey little bro, I didn't know you were a poet."
"Wait, what? I'm not a-"
Shiro interrupted: "I know it may seem kind of cheesy, but a boy like you makes romance easy."
Keith's cheeks went pale. "What, how the hell did you find out about that?"
"Pidge told me," Shiro said gesturing her direction with a shit eating grin.
"Well, I still think it's cute," Hunk said placing a hand on his chest.
Keith's cheeks turned a distinct shade of scarlet. "Please God, kill me now," he croaked, burying his face in his hands.
Lance kissed his cheek. "C'mon babe don't be embarrassed, it was cute."
Keith slipped his hands from his face and grabbed one of Lance's hands in both if his. "You're cute," he said bringing Lance's hand up to his lips and kissing it.
"No seriously, I loved it!"
Keith cocked his head. "Mmm, I love you."
Lance grinned and kissed him. "I love you too."
"Wait, when did this happen?" Shiro asked.
"Couple weeks ago." Lance didn't even bother to look at him.
"Awww! Who said it first?" Hunk cooed.
"Keith actually."
"Really?!" Keith turned to his brother, "Always the tone of surprise."
Lance's eyes lit up. "Sweety, was that a Harry Potter reference? Oh my God, I love you so much."
Keith shrugged. "You're pretty okay yourself."
"Keith!"
"Kidding, I love you too, sharpshooter."
Pidge began to gag dramatically. "Okay before you two turn this into a total mushy love fest they've just started putting out the food and I'd kill for a hamburger."
The group walked over to the buffet table, clearly whoever had cooked had perused Pinterest heavily. In addition to the usual burgers and hot dogs there were little graduation caps made of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and square chocolates, a candy bar with event-appropriate labels such as gummy "bookworms", a build your own taco bar, neatly organized appetizers like Seven layer dip packed in individual plastic cups and an abundance of mason jars.
They ate their food and chatted amongst the other partygoers. Pidge, Hunk, Lance and Keith answering the usual questions. So what's the plan? You got a new job offers lined up? Are you planning on getting an advanced degree? Keith and Lance also got the weird Probing Questions™ an alarming number of people seemed to think were appropriate to ask a couple. When are you two getting married? Are you planning on having any kids? There was one middle-aged straight couple who apparently had never met a gay couple before, with all the questions they asked. A relationship and graduating College are big milestones so it's natural for people to ask questions, but this was getting exhausting. Keith was one heartbeat away from yelling something like "We're gays, not unicorns!" and running away when Lance found a more polite way to leave the conversation. They went back to their friends to wind down and spend the rest of the party with them. The five of them returned to the spot under the tree. Hunk and Pidge chatted exchanging information about their latest projects, Shiro sat against the trunk of the tree texting Curtis who was out of town visiting family and Lance and Keith sat side-by-side,wrapped up in each other and hands intertwined. Life was good, the future was bright they were happy.
Bonus
5 years later
Lance had been planning this for weeks. Hunk had very graciously taken time off of his busy schedule - which consisted of writing his thesis and taking care of his and Shay's new baby - to go over the plan again and again on the phone, assuring lance that things would be ok.
Keith looked at him from the passenger's seat. "Where are we going?"
"You'll see."
Keith raised an eyebrow. "Okay?"
"It'll be good I promise." Lance parked the car and lead Keith a short way before stopping In front of a very familiar restaurant.
"This is the Mexican place we went to on our first date"
"Yup!" Lance said. "Let's just go inside, I already made a reservation."
The hostess grinned just a bit too widely to be genuine as she seated them at their table. It didn't take Keith long to notice it was the same one they had sat at on their date all those years before.
As they ate and talked and were generally having a great time, Lance had the feeling that Keith was catching on to what he had planned. Perfect.
They emerged from the restaurant hand in hand and walked in the opposite direction of where they had parked.
"Didn't we park our car that way?" Keith asked, puzzled.
"Yes we did but just trust me."
Lance led Keith down the street quickly before stopping abruptly and pulling him to the side of the highway towards the road.
He grabbed Keith's hands. "Hey so by now you probably realize that I've been recreating our first date, I have a reason for that. The last five years have been wonderful. You make me so happy-" "Lance, are you...? Keith interrupted tears suddenly welling up in his eyes.
"Shh, let me finish. You are 100% without a doubt the one for me and know I want to spend the rest of my life with you so" Lance got down on one knee and pulled out a ring box, "Keith Kogane, will you marry me?"
Tears were streaming down both of their faces by now. "Oh my God, you beat me to it!" Keith said but pulled Lance in for a kiss.
When they broke the kiss Lance took some time to wipe his eyes and then tilted his head coyly. "So that's a yes?" "Of course it's a yes you idiot."
"Good," Lance said then slipped the ring on to Keith's finger and kissed him again. He pulled back abruptly, "Oh there's something I have to do. Babe, hold your hand up next to your face so I can get a picture."
Lance quickly snapped the photo and posted it to Twitter and Instagram with the caption "I liked it so I put a ring on it" and a bunch of hashtags about love and marriage.
Keith snorted. "Isn't that song like 15 years old?"
"Shhh babe, Beyonce is eternal."
Author's note: aaaand that's a wrap. Thank you again to Calliopestories for beta reading this.
Olive bro sadly didn't make an appearance in this chapter but I just couldn't find a place to fit him in, he might make an appearance in other things I write though.
I didn't put it in but I firmly believe some of the mentioned hashtags in the proposal scene would be ones Lance made up like Lancy Lance is officially off the market.
In the first part, if it wasn't clear Pidge, Hunk, Lance, and Keith have all graduated college and are at a graduation party.
In the second part, I wanted to include more like maybe their friends and family reacting to the engagement but I thought of the closing line and couldn't not end on that so c'est la vie.
Thank you to anyone who read to the end of my little story that actually means a lot.
#klance#laith#lance mcclain#vld lance#lance (voltron)#lance x keith#keith (voltron)#keith kogane#vld keith#college au#proposal
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On "Pink Waves" by Sawako Nakayasu
There's something sweet and childlike about something being both "pink" and a "wave"—(whether I'm thinking about pink lemonade or sunset tinted beaches I will not disclose) and it feels soft and kind.
The poem itself is written with barely any thoughts of traditional meter / formatting, I believe as it is a single long stanza without a consistent rhyme pattern or meter pattern...perhaps a flexible sonata form?
(Keep in mind that "Pink Waves" is actually longer than this—the link below is only a small portion of the entire experience.)
I also think that the difficulty to properly place the format of the poem goes hand in hand with the actual content of the poem, which unlike the title, is more granular. Comprising of fits of warmth ("yes we are erotic warm anemone") and a slight chill ("internal findings crawl back in the dirt and undulate out"), "Pink Waves" by Sawako Nakayasu (<-- link) details the shifting expressions of human loss.
Question: Why does Sawako Nakayasu express themes of love and death as "undulating" waves?
It's been a while since I've last stumbled on a poem like this—bits and pieces of it printed on the forefront of my mind and I read it dutifully. Sometimes, the number six pops up and I think of this piece again...opening up with "6 / was it hardly a wave".
Favorite Lines:
"sliding between dreamlight and the way it rolls off"
"cantilevered muscles in the backyard of my body"
"i think that some people just have no history of art"
The themes of love and loss are non-linear, I realize. I think the human race acknowledges this—we see the concepts of life and death (how they're fleeting) in our everyday phrases (ex. "YOLO"), and most of us understand that not all relationships are going to be perfect. But when we are deeply immersed in our daily to-do's, the love we give others and the love we receive, it's difficult to reflect and remind ourselves that such things are often destined to sour up and then smooth down (a rollercoaster, if you will).
Such worries are not entirely necessary—why worry when things are going so well??
Last month, a friend of mine had passed away. It was Tuesday, and she was sleeping in her dorm room. She had a black belt in taekwondo, played the violin, and had gotten into a prestigious college on a scholarship. It was only her first semester in college, and her body had chosen that time to be her last.
I wonder if the last time I met up with her, she knew. Maybe she didn't—she looked at me the same way she had six years ago, slurred the same letters in her speech, we went to the beach we always went to and laid there until it got dark. She said, "I'll see you winter break", as we parted ways, and I fully believed that we would meet again.
This is an example of a personal wave. Where the first intake of news got me breathless and queasy, knocking into me with a force that made me stagger back. I think of her now and I feel the waves, smaller ones that I can stand on my toes to jump over. Loss is non-linear in that the news of her death had put my life at a stand-still for days, an plateau in the graph, but still i continue to move, carrying pieces of her in my memory.
Sawako Nakayasu's From "Pink Waves" presents the "non-linearness" in a visual form, where she quite literally shifts content from "light" (mentioned 3x in lines 5-6) and an overall airy feeling in the first seven lines to the dramatics of death (mentioned 3x in lines 8, 10, 16). And I think that can be projected onto our forms too, how we experience periods of torment and then a pink-shaded comfort.
Pink is sensitive, feeling, real, exposure, love, and vulnerability. Pink is us. And pink is developed in waves.
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Before each song in the visual album Lemonade Beyoncé has included some “poems” this is before the song 6 inch if I’m not mistaken and that’s a part of the poem. You can only listen to it and the song if you purchase the album ... though if you search in on google you can still find it in a written form or in audio in some of her tour “Formation World Tour” in YouTube
Ohhh cool I will definetly check out youtube for audio... If her other poems are like this they fit so well
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1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?Lately it’s been, in no particular order…-There’s Nothing Holding Me Back by Shawn Mendes -Curious by Hayley Kiyoko -Follow You by Bring Me The Horizon-Fuck You by Sleeping With Sirens (pop goes punk cover)-Perfect by Ed Sheeran -Just the Girl by The Click Five (All but Hayley are on my drag list, which is what I’ve mostly been listening to…)
2. If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?Probably Alycia Debnam-Carey, honestly
3. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. Charlie bit Alex’s shoulder through her coat. “Just admit you love the…” line continues to “city in winter.” From KL Hughes’ The Art of Us
4. What do you think about most?I don’t even know, dude. My mind is so fucking random and scattered. It’s probably not good stuff if I really think about it.
5. What does your latest tattoo from someone else say?“Still”
6. Do you sleep with or without clothes on?I sleep with my boxer briefs on. That’s it though. Unless I’m on my period or sleeping with someone else or at someone else’s house.
7. What’s your strangest talent?I don’t know really. I can manipulate my voice a bit. It usually makes people laugh or be like “what the fuck?” I can bend backwards and make my feet touch my head too. So there’s that.
8. Girls…(finish the sentence); Boys…(finish the sentence). Girls…are strong and beautiful and need to realize they need someone to tell them that for it to be true. Boys…are strong and beautiful, too. Both need positivity and to be kinder to themselves and others.
9. Ever had a poem or a song written about you?No. My first girlfriend said she wrote a poem about me, but what she read me was actually what she wrote about her ex. That was kind of awkward.
10. When is the last time you played the air guitar?Earlier today. So like…3-4ish hours ago
11. Do you have any strange phobias?Not that I know of
12. Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?Not that that I can recall. Maybe chopsticks or a pencil when I was a kid but that’s about it. And I’m not even sure I did that.
13. What’s your religion?I don’t have one
14. If you’re outside what are you most likely doing? Walking. Or going for a run, if it’s nice out.
15. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?Behind it. Definitely.
16. Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?I’m going to have to go with Pvris. They saved my life. Other bands have too. But I have to say them.
17. What was the last lie you told?Probably “I’m okay.”
18. Do you believe in karma?Something like that, yes. For sure.
19. What does your URL mean?Essentially, that is blog is gay as fuck and contains anything lesbian related.
20. What’s your greatest weakness? Greatest strength?Weakness: stubbornness Strength: loyalty
21. Who is your celebrity crush?I have so many dude. Ryan Ashley, Eliza Taylor, Alycia Debnam-Carey, Kristen Stewart, Anna Kendrick, etc
22. Have you ever gone skinny dipping?Not that I know of
23. How do you vent your anger?Usually through violence and aggression. I yell. I scream. I throw things. I hit things. It’s the only thing that truly helps me. I can write and draw but it doesn’t help much at all.
24. Do you have a collection of anything? Movies. That’s the only thing that comes to mind.
25. Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Neither honestly. But if I had to choose…maybe talking on the phone.
26. Are you happy with the person you’ve become?No. But I hope to be someday.
27. What’s a sound you hate? Sound you love?Hate: high pitches like nails on a chalkboard and similar sounds Love: the sound of rain
28. What’s your biggest “what if?”What if I had been there when he died? What if I had gotten to say goodbye to him? Would I still be mourning him the way I do? Would it have made a difference in how/who I am now? I’ll never know. And it kills me.
29. Do you believe in ghosts? What about aliens?Yes to both. I’m not sure I’d call either of them that. But I definitely believe in both. I’ve had experiences that I can’t explain. And I find it hard to believe that out of the entire universe, we are on the only planet that has life.
30. Stick out your right arm, what’s the first thing you touch? Do the same to your left. Right: the arm of the couch. Left: the folded body pillow that we keep on the couch
31. Smell the air. What do you smell?The candle during. Lilacs.
32. What’s the worst place you’ve ever been to?The only place that comes to mind immediately was my ex’s mom’s house.
33. Choose: east coast or west coast?I’ve only ever been on the west coast
34. Most attractive singer of the opposite gender?I’m not sure exactly. But my favorite male singer would have to be M. Shadows from Avenged Sevenfold. I love his voice. He’s got nice tattoos and a great smile.
35. To you, what’s the meaning of life?I’m not sure I’ve found it yet
36. Define art. I don’t think I can. Art is subjective. Describing it depends on the piece. It depends on the person viewing the piece. I believe art is meant to make someone feel something though. It’s meant to express what the artist feels in some way. Whether it’s pain or beauty and anything and all in between.
37. Do you believe in luck?Something like that
38. What’s the weather like right now?Calm. Somewhat cloudy skies. Maybe a slight breeze.
39. What time is it?Currently, as I reach this question, 12:08am
40. Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?Not legally, yet. But I have crashed. Just about everything I’ve ever rode/driven. At least once.
41. What was the last book you read?Published book: The Art of Us by KL Hughes
42. Do you like the smell of gasoline?Not really
43. Do you have any nicknames?Spiffy is my most popular one. A few call me Midget. And family members call me one too, but I’m not saying that one.
44. What was the last film you saw?I’m currently watching Salt. But the last one I watched through and through was The House
45. What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?Probably whatever happened to my wrist. Considering it still hurts over a year later
46. Have you ever caught a butterfly?No. But I remember raising one from a caterpillar in elementary school and releasing them as butterflies.
47. Do you have any obsessions right now?Not that I know of
48. What’s your sexuality?Gay/lesbian
49. Ever had a rumor spread about you?I’ve had quite a few spread about me. I think the ones that effected my life at the time the most was that I was pregnant or that I was trans.
50. Do you believe in magic?I’m not sure
51. Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?Yes. Absolutely.
52. What’s your astrological sign?Taurus
53. Do you save money or spend it?A bit of both, but more so save it. I spend it on necessities for the most part and save the rest.
54. What’s the last thing you purchased?A smoothie, a lemonade, two bags of chips, and two boxes of donuts.
55. Love or lust?I’d rather have love
56. In a relationship?No
57. How many relationships have you had?4, technically. One only lasted like two weeks and was long distance so I don’t count it. One with a boy, 3 with girls.
58. Can you touch your nose with your tongue?Nope
59. Where were you yesterday?I know it’s technically past midnight but I haven’t slept yet so I’m going to say that it’s from the 9th. And I was at work.
60. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?Yes. My stuffed dog I’ve had for as long as I can remember
61. Are you wearing socks right now?No
62. What’s your favorite animal?Probably otters
63. What’s is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?I don’t know. I don’t think I have one. I don’t care if people like me or not.
64. Where is your best friend?Probably in bed at home. I don’t know.
65. Give me your top 5 blogs on tumblr.Some that come to mind are @eatmeoutnowbabe@ericajonorris@perksofbeingalesbian@yourgaydarisonpoint@youknow-me-not-my-story
66. What is your heritage?I’m Native American
67. What were you doing last night at 12am?Laying in bed
68. What do you think is Satan’s last name?Probably something cheesy and harmless sounding
69. Be honest. Have you ever gotten yourself off?Never
70. Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?Kind of. To an extent
71. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?Save the dog. Fuck my boss. I can find a different job. That said, my actual boss, wouldn’t do that to me
72. You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. A) do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? B) what do you do with your remaining days? C) would you be afraid?A. Maybe a few people, but not everyoneB. Live my life to the fullest that I canC. I don’t think so
73. You can only have one of these things: trust or love?I think this is a trick question. I think they go hand in hand a bit. But I choose trust over love.
74. What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?Not sure really. Maybe Goodbye Earl by the Dixie Chicks. It reminds me of some good times in my childhood
75. What are the last 4 digits of your cell phone number?7260
76. In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?Open communication. Trust. Honesty.
77. How can I win your heart?Can’t win what I don’t have
78. Can insanity bring more creativity?Maybe to an extent
79. What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?Getting Dexter
80. What size shoes do you wear?Depends on the brand and style. But anywhere from 5-7
81. What do you want to be written on your tombstone?“I’m not easy to kill…fuck”
82. What is your favorite word?Fuck
83. Give me the first word that comes to your mind when you hear the word; heart?Less
84. What is a saying you say a lot?“It is what it is”
85. What’s the last song you listened to?Follow Me by Uncle Kracker
86. Basic question: what is your favorite color/colors?Black
87. What is your current desktop picture?I’ll reblog a picture of it. I posted it before
88. If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?My mom’s ex-boyfriend’s son
89. What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?I’m not sure, honestly
90. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find out you are surrounded by mummies. The mummies aren’t doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?Tell them to fuck off. Or kill them. Depends I guess
91. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with a superpower of your choice. What is that power?Transfiguration/shapeshifting
92. You can relive any point of time in your life. The timespan can only be a half hour, though. What half hour of your life would you like to experience again?Any time I had with my best friend before he died. I don’t care if it’s us playing. Or sleeping. I just want one more moment with him
93. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?Nothing. My past has made me who I am. I am a product of all that I have been through. I may not like myself, but this is who I am. If something hadn’t happened, I may not be the me I am now. It’s up to me to change and become the person I want to be with everything that’s happened.
94. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music celebrity of your choice. Who will it be?Probably Lynn Gunn. Maybe Lauren Jauregui
95. You just got a free plane ticket to go anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you going to go?I don’t know specifics. Somewhere where no one knows my name or my story. Somewhere where I’m free to be whoever I want to be 96. Do you have any relatives in jail?Probably. I think my cousin is in prison. Looking at like 25 years I think.
97. Have you ever thrown up in a car?Not that I remember. But I heard that I did when I was black out drunk a few years back
98. Ever been on a plane?Yes. Quite a few times. But only for visits to two places.
99. Answered
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these are actually hella fucking cute y’all
1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal
2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? oh yes :) but gotta get me some hot chocolate or blanket
3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? usually just a scrap of paper or whatevers close
4: how do you take your coffee/tea? i put soy milk and sugar in my coffee....just sugar in tea
5: are you self-conscious of your smile? ya :/ well at least if my mouth is open...I have terrible teeth
6: do you keep plants? no
7: do you name your plants? noo lol
8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? painting/drawing/crafting..sometimes writing or poetry
9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? very much
10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? usually side, sometimes back
11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? too many to name
12: what's your favorite planet? hmm...never thought about it strangely. saturn for looks. but mars cause idk..it holds the most possibility
13: what's something that made you smile today? my cats
14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? uhhh....idk
15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! A day on Venus is actually longer than a year on Venus... wrap your head around that ;)
16: what's your favorite pasta dish? ooooh all of them lol but probably lasagna... ooh or alfredo
17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? just darker...dark brown or black
18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up when i made us play hide n seek in a hotel room and i hid behind a curtain. or when i peed on my friends foot cause she got stung by a jellyfish XD
19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I used to :/ I dont' really anymore..probably should
20: what's your favorite eye color? um idk really it depends on the person..I usually like brown or blue. not that green isn't nice but again depends on the person lol
21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. ugh I really don't use bags or purses or anything like that much. currently my black vans drawstring
22: are you a morning person? nah, never will be. i'm used to getting up early but still hate it
23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? SLEEP
24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? yes..a few people
25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? umm i dont think ive broken into anywhere
26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? i got rid of all my own shoes but the ones ive had a while i wear the most are my black slipon vans
27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? mint
28: sunrise or sunset? sunset
29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? only she could do it, cant even explain lol
30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? more than a few times
31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I LOVE SOCKS lol absolutely not all white socks. I like fun patterned socks..especially my vans no shows... sometimes sleep with them on
32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. oh gosh dont let me start
33: what's your fave pastry? uggghh too many. recently something amazing I tried... lobster tails from carlos bakery. but really..any pastry lol
34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? lots of them. the main one I can think of is a small little grungy horse named Wickee lol...got him at this amusement park called Wickee Watchee... idk where he is atm :/
35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? ooooooh yesssss...from time to time
36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? 21 pilots
37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? I mean I like it clean.... but it's messy most the time anyways lol
38: tell us about your pet peeves! ugh so many. the #1 thing probably is when I'm walking like in a store and someone just stops right in front of me..like i'm tryna get somewhere please move haha but otherwise I just had selfish spoiled people and attitudes and people who think they're better than everyone else
39: what color do you wear the most? black and gray
40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? um honestly I don't have any jewelry besides my liprings. There is this necklace that was my grandmas but I don't really wear it anymore
41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? It's called Pawn by Robin Roseau
42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! Starbucks. it's amazing. it's life. that is all.
43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? this girl
44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? um hmm on and off lately and I think i'm getting there again...but probably really completely like...last spring
45: do you trust your instincts a lot? as much and often as I can
46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. oh you don't want me to do that
47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? donald trump. oh food. hahahahah omg. i thought it said thing. hahahaha. i cant even answer now.
48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? roaches. yes still same. I HATE THEM
49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? eh neither like or dislike..rarely ever buy cds never records. But I did recently buy the Gwen Stefani Christmas album ;)
50: what's an odd thing you collect? nothing really odd. oh well.... unique boxes. I guess thats strange lol
51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? so many songs.
52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? uh hmm.. probably the spongebob mocking one lol
53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? honestly..dont kill me...no
54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? myself XD
55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? gotten out of the car and walked a mile home XD
56: what are some things you find endearing in people? just being genuine and truthful and sweet and trying to be funny even if you're not really
57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? BEAUTIFUL. I didnt actually listen but I did in my head. BEAUTIFUL SONG
58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? uhhhh..... dont really have a group of friends XD
59: what's your favorite myth? hmm too much thinking
60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? depends, most the time...the Footprints poem
61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? given um...idk I used to get a buncha stuff from the dollar store for my fam every year lol received? a rock from my ex bf -_-
62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? nah not really a juice person
63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? yes organized
64: what color is the sky where you are right now? black
65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? yesss....
66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? uhhh eh..not for me
67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? either calm or sad or sleepy or a combo
68: what's winter like where you live? it's florida. not usually cold. this week is as cold as it gets...low is like 38 but usually it doesnt even get there
69: what are your favorite board games? clue, monopoly is alright too
70: have you ever used a ouija board? no
71: what's your favorite kind of tea? not huge on tea but I like mint, or something fruity like berry or lemon or peach
72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? with certain things
73: what are some of your worst habits? leaving drinks or bottles half finished out or like letting my room get messy
74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. funny. sarcastic. sometimes an asshole. good time. gorgeous. fun.
75: tell us about your pets! They're two cats, sister, Lamb and Rue...they're 2 and 1/2 years old..and sweet and mischevious and fluffy and soft and cuteeee and I love them more than anything
76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? not really
77: pink or yellow lemonade? dont really like lemonade much but they dont make much a difference to me
78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? fanclub :)
79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? wrote a song for me
80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? white..nah I didnt choose
81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. honestly my minds going black lol im tired
82: are/were you good in school? yes for the most part..had my moments but overall good
83: what's some of your favorite album art? so many I could name. coldplays is always really colorful and abstracty. and imagine dragons.
84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? already have two. want a lot more..too much to name and i dont even know still what all i want
85: do you read comics? what are your faves? nah
86: do you like concept albums? which ones? YAS. many. but first came to mind, Skillets Rise
87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Silver Linings Playbook. Paper Towns. Shrek. All the disney movies. Avatar. Wizard of Oz. many more
88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? all of them haha... pop art, impressionism, renaissance..just all of it all special in they're own way
89: are you close to your parents? eh idk i cant explain..neither close nor distant. like we live together and talk alot but not really the close relationship as some do..im very different from them
90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Knoxville. the city I went to college in... interesting place with lots to do..best of both worlds. beautiful mountains and hills and views. but also the downtown areas are cool..lots of fun stuff
91: where do you plan on traveling this year? going to savannah ga for my bday. not sure where else yet but i'm sure there will be other places. i'd really like to go to phoenix..boston..new orleans..california..portland ugh so many places
92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? CHEESE AF
93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? just up in a bun which is boring but its too messy and long to put up with lol
94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? my dad
95: what are your plans for this weekend? nothing really so far. probably will go to lunch or something with my friend
96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? procrastinate
97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? myer briggs- INFJ (advocate) sign- aquarius house- ravenclaw
98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? legitimately...like 3 years ago...hated it...too much walking and pain XD
99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. ugh sooooooooooo many. pretty much any song by skillet or gwen stefani/no doubt recently..dusk till dawn by sia, new rules by dua lipa... also songs by ben howard..lots of indie stuff
100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 into the future... i've already lived my past, and i've made a lot of progress...wanna jump to even more progress hopefully
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#poem: in the powder blue
1.2.21
6:11pm
🖤crx
i looked for you,
in the powder blue.
i wrapped you in a hug
and gave you all my love.
i sat
on your lap
and curled up tight.
in a finger snap,
a love tap,
a surge with all my might,
i told you of
my love
and my fear
as i whispered in your ear.
i gave a soothing calm,
as i’m in your palm.
i sought
and fought
to temper
and timber
the heart ache
i am
and i found.
this love does drown
me down
to the ground.
no mystery
to the 3D.
when i blink,
i sink
in
sandman
slumber land.
before i part
and i go
i’ll show ~on my sleeve
my track stamped heart
and leave ~ it
for you
to save & cover too
from all those running it through.
#art #artist #write #writer #writingcommunity #draw #drawing #charcoal #illustration #poems #lyrics #picturebook #storybooks #allagebook #book #characters #wood #woodworking #woodenpegdoll #woodenpegdolls #wuvshack #marshallmathers #eminem #collab Eminem Shady Records Eminem Shade45 SiriusXM Shade 45 Lyrical Lemonade @_colebennett_ #gnat #collaboratewithme #collaborate #collaboration #callmemad
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June 8, 2020
Art in Isolation
Artists listed clockwise from top right: Miriam Tingle, Shaheer Zazai, Ariel Shea, Veronica Pausova
I think, for me, there has been no group of people for whom I’ve had more empathy during this pandemic than those inside care homes. I recognize that many of these facilities provide stellar support for their residents, as they struggle with ill health. And I can think of nothing more honorable than a profession that allows people to face end of life as gracefully as possible. However, I still think that there is a good reason why so many of us carry fear about such places. Particularly given the restrictions imposed on these facilities during Covid, residents are now faced with what, perhaps, most chronically terrifies humans: the possibility of dying alone. The Japanese even have a word for this - kodokushi or lonely death.
Thankfully, nursing homes and hospices have made extensive efforts to ameliorate these fears. They are arranging regular digital communication for patients, with their loved ones. And artists are also addressing this problem in very meaningful ways.
Vancouver pianist, Matthew Li has been playing virtual performances for isolated patients all over Canada. https://www.cbc.ca/radio/thecurrent/the-current-for-may-4-2020-1.5554395/this-classical-pianist-is-offering-hospital-patients-virtual-private-music-recitals-1.5554784 And there are many other performers doing the same.
Also, this Toronto artist/curator team has organized an art donation program that has succeed in collecting over 200 original works, from the artists themselves (see photo above), to deliver (with fully compliant sanitary measures) to nursing homes in their area. https://cdnartinisolation.format.com/works-test
What’s important to acknowledge is the fact that end-of-life caregiving is a two-way street. Sometimes, those in palliative care are less afraid to die alone than their loved ones are to be denied the opportunity to serve, comfort and seek closure. So, it is beautiful that these gestures of music, and art, and video calls can soothe the souls of everyone involved.
June 9, 2020
Making Lemonade
I don’t know about you, but lately, I feel like I’m drinking an awful lot of lemonade (and yes, sometimes spiked!). Don’t get me wrong. I usually love lemonade. In fact, there are summer days when the craving hits me so hard, I can focus on nothing until it’s quenched. I guess there’s something about the bittersweetness and resiliency of a drink that turns lemons into lemonade which usually attracts a “path-of-most-resistence” girl like me. However, if I’m to be completely honest, I’m beginning to run out of Plan B’s. Sure, there have been plenty of really tasty ones so far. Like the socially distant private cocktail class for 6 that we gifted two of our friends (with us & their partners), when their big 40th & 50th birthday plans went caput with Covid. One had hoped for a trip abroad with his family. The other had booked a large venue and invited 100 friends and family for his now cancelled-‘til-‘21 bash. So, mixing maitais and shaking whiskey sours as a back-up plan certainly wasn’t half-bad. Then, there is the fact that my treasured local pool (a rare ,137-meter swimming facilty right on the ocean, available to the public for only $4 per visit) hasn’t opened this season, and probably won’t all year. So, what did I do? I rushed out to buy a 1 mm spring wetsuit, intent on “ocean hiking’ instead. My inaugural swim, last Sunday night, down wind and down current, surrounded by mountains and the cityscape, which ended just below an eagle perched only 20-feet overhead, was an admittedly euphoric moment.
So, believe me, I know I have no right to complain. I’m just recognizing that, currently, I feel like I’ve pretty much tapped my creative juices to the max, which means that I’m looking for things to fuel my imagination for the months to come. In my quest, I stumbled upon this particularly sophisticated back-up plan, which I imagine will be inspiration for many.
The Kanneh-Mason family is likely the most famous musical family you’ve never heard of. All seven, that’s right, seven of these siblings are top-shelf classical musicians, conveniently covering nearly the full string family with 2 violinists, 3 pianists, and 2 cellists. And, remarkably, their parents, who moved from Sierra Leone to England, where the children were raised, had only minimal exposure to musical instruments as kids. Sheku, the third eldest, may be the most reknowned, having had his debut Carnegie Hall cello recital at just 20. However, right by his side was his older sister Isata (23) on piano. And it’s the lemonade that she recently squeezed out of a bum lemon which inspires me right now. She’d been excitedly waiting for her upcoming Royal Albert Hall debut, a performance of Beethoven’s Third Piano Concerto with the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra, originally scheduled for April 18th. So, once it was cancelled, as all family phenoms do, the five oldest kids, shoeless and in sweats, performed a string trio and double piano arrangement of the piece from their living room, in a livestream performance on the exact concert date. Even more notable than the oodles of talent and sensitivity that pour out of this one family, is what seems to be their genuine humility and gratitude, amidst the disappointment of a postponed dream, just for the opportunity to share their passion, even in far from hoped-for circumstances. #glasshalffull
https://www.classicfm.com/artists/sheku-kanneh-mason/family-isata-beethoven-live-stream/
June 10, 2020
Poet as Witness
Interestingly, this has become a very poetic moment in our lives. This time, rife with fear and heightened emotions, has been witnessed, as poets do so well, with acuity and depth of vision. Somehow, the poet as witness is able to observe something too large for most of us to contain, and then distill it for us into digestable doses that cut right to the bone. I’ve heard many people speak of inboxes replete with verses sent from friends meant to comfort or console. And it has felt appropriate and almost necessary for me to leave people at the end of each of my weekly guided meditations with a relevant poem that they can sit with. The publishing world has recognized this need for poetry, too. Consequently, Random House has, with lightning speed, put out a compilation of poetic work created during this period. Together in a Sudden Strangeness was released today. And in one entry from this stunning collection, Joshua Bennett’s raw words speak to the helplessness that he felt when he was not allowed to accompany his pregnant wife to her ultrasound during Covid.
Dad Poem by Joshua Bennett
No visitors allowed is what the masked woman behind the desk says only seconds after me and your mother arrive for the ultrasound. But I’m the father, I explain, like it means something defensible. She looks at me as if I’ve just confessed to being a minotaur in human disguise. Repeats the line. Caught in the space between astonishment & rage, we hold hands a minute or so more, imagining you a final time before our rushed goodbye, your mother vanishing down the corridor to call forth a veiled vision of you through glowing white machines. One she will bring to me later on, printed and slightly wrinkled at its edges, this secondhand sight of you almost unbearable both for its beauty and necessary deferral. What can I be to you now, smallest one, across the expanse of category & world catastrophe, what love persists in a time without touch.
Other poets have found a more literal way to turn some of this current hopelessness on its head. And their reflexive approach is not new. The violin duet, Der Spiegel (score above), often wrongly attributed to Mozart but written by another 18th century unnamed composer, is meant to be performed with Player One reading from top to bottom, and Player Two from bottom to top. Cleverly, the two parts have unique yet complementary melodies that make a cohesive whole when performed together. Similarly, Britt MacKinnon’s poem, Covid 19 Outlooks manages to paint a realistic picture of the simultaneously bleak and hopeful perspectives that many of us vascilate between, right now. You just have to make sure to read it in reverse after you’ve read it from top to bottom.
I have no hope or control. Nobody can convince me that I still have a future. I recognize that I am safe and loved But I am overwhelmed by fear This situation dictates my daily well-being. I refuse to believe that There is a bright future ahead. Our world is disrupted. No longer do I feel that We have support and help from our leaders. During self-isolation. I am reminiscing and dreaming. Now I cherish the good old days. My way of life Changing Because of COVID-19
June 11, 2020
Dance On!
The fluctuating moods expressed in MacKinnon’s poem can be found in an abundance of art created during this time. Mark Morris is known for his music-driven choreography and unorthodox elegance. One of my former in-laws, Rita Donahue also danced with his company for many years, which adds an even more personal interest to my fandom. His wide range of styles and moods is well-illustrated in the three pieces that comprise his latest virtual offering, Dance On! From the uncomfortability of his discordant Lonely Waltz (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hfkn4FI2CI) to the raw, visceral desperation of Anger Dance (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0mdAmS81E0Q) to the comic simplicity and object puppetry used in Sunshine (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKAt2vBlMRw), the emotional evolution that I had as an audience member was much like the shift I experienced reading the poem above, upside down. Geoff and I have always loved handstand therapy as an effective mood booster. So, I’m taking this as a reminder to bring more inverted poses into my life.
June 12, 2020
Rap & Gown
I have a confession. As a rapper-wanna-be, flutist, with long curly hair and a name that begins with L, I secretly believe that Lizzo is my alter ego. With her chutzpah, self-love and straight-talk, I think she is a prime role model for people of all ages and races. And strong voices like hers are exactly what we need at this time. Obviously, others agree, because she was invited to inspire stay-at-home graduates with her silver sounds on this collaborative performance of Elgar’s Pomp & Circumstance with the New York Philharmonic. Now, that’s a grad ceremony that should have been worth coming out of quarantine for!
https://www.classicfm.com/artists/new-york-philharmonic/lizzo-plays-flute-class-of-2020-youtube-ceremony/
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