#leia organa x oc | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

justagirlwholikesadam · 2 years ago

Text

Saudade

Summary: Leia called someone through the force during a fight with the First Order. She knew Rey and Ben who came back to the light side with the help of Rey would need the extra help. That's what her twin brother Luke, had told her before his death.

Finding out who it is would Ben accept the fact that the person who his mother had called was his lost love who he left behind the night he became Kylo Ren. The person he spent seven years trying to find. Ben wasn't the only one who turned to the dark side. Ben Solo x OC

Chapter Two

"That was such a cheap move." Lilian said as she leaned against the wall of Ethan's aircraft. She could have swore she saw him smirking behind his helmet as he past her and walked to the wall across from her. She remembered as a child watching the clip that Leia had sent to her grandfather asking him for help years ago. She remembers. She used to watch it with Ben all the time.

"Cheap move but you still accepted." He said pressing a button on the wall. The wall in front of them hissed as it came apart showing the hidden armory.

"You can leave, you know. Go back home." She told him.

"And leave you? When have I done that?" He asked, grabbing a dark brown bag from inside the armory and turning towards her.

"This isn't your fight. It's not your problem." Lilian said, grabbing the bag from his grasp.

"What if I don't want to leave?" He said softly, grabbing her free hand. Lilian looked at him through the tinted window of his helmet, she felt him give her hand a soft squeeze.

It's been five years since she had come to know the Mandalorian. He found her broken and alone. He brought her back to a small planet called Amore. Unnoticed by many people, he was living there. He stayed there along with a small tribe with different species. He took her under his wing and she was grateful for it.

Ethan let her hand go when she didn't say anything to him. He mentally cursed at himself. He knew he shouldn't be acting that way with her, especially now with everything going on. Ethan wouldn't let anyone know that he liked the girl in front of him.

"Are you ok with him being here?" He asked quickly, trying to change the subject. He regretted it as soon as he noticed Lilian tensed up. She knew he was talking about Ben.

"I don't know. When I saw him I was about to kill him. I didn't mean too though, the rage inside of me came out." Ethan sighed as Lilian shook her head in embarrassment.

"It wasn't really you." Ethan told her.

"The darkness came over you." He added.

"How am I supposed to help them, if I can't fully control it?" She said, shaking her head.

"I saw Ben and that darkness immediately came out of me." She told him with a scared look.

"What if I hurt them? What If I hurt Leia or Chewie? Or what if I hurt you?" Lilian said to him.

"You can never hurt me. You will find a way, Lilian." He consoled her, she looked away not believing his words.

"His grandfather was the one that killed your grandfather, correct?"Ethan asked. Lilian nodded at him.

"Can you imagine two teenagers being told that their grandfathers had fought against each other. The day that Luke told Ben and I we both looked at each other with shocked faces."

"What a fuck up situation." Ethan said, causing her to chuckle.

"What's more fucked up is that their grand-kids fell in love with one another." Lilian said softly as she crossed her arms over her chest and looked at him. She didn't know how to answer his question of him wanting to stay with her.

She loved Ethan but it wasn't the same love she had with Ben. She would be lying if she said she hasn't thought of the idea of being with Ethan. Kissing him. Being in a relationship with him. She never really truly saw his face. She once saw a glimpse of his side profile when he had taken his helmet off due to him being badly injured. He didn't know she was looking at him. Ethan's side profile was an unblemished face with a strong jaw, his skin was a glowing russet brown color. Before she could fully turn to see him, he had put his helmet back on.

"You never told me why he left you behind?" Ethan said.

Ethan knew it was a sensitive subject to Lilian. She would always dogged the questions about Ben, the Jedi temple and that night. He kinda hoped with what happened today, she would open up to him about her past. Lilian told him about Leia and Han. She spared the major details of Ben but she never told him about that night.

"He didn't tell me. He just left." She told him.

"I left the same night he did but I crashed my craft on an unknown planet. That's where Mercury found me." Ethan frowned softly at the name of her old sith master.

"Will you tell Leia about him?" He questioned her.

"I'm not sure. I don't want her to know all of the horrible stuff I have done."

"You told Mary and I about it." Ethan told her. Lilian smiled as he mentioned Mary.

Mary reminded her of Leia in so many ways. Ethan had introduced Lilian to Mary when he brought her to Amore. The older lady was kind to her. Ethan had told Lilian that Mary was sort of the designated mother of the tribe but she was mostly a mother to Ethan. After a few months she was a mother to Lilian as well. Lilian had opened up to Mary and Ethan after a year being with them.

"That's because you guys didn't know me when I was younger. Leia took me in when my parents died. It's been so long since I saw her. I was going to cry when she called me princess. No one has called me that in years."

"Princess?" Ethan asked, a bit shocked. After years knowing Lilian, her having a girly nickname didn't seem to fit Lillian's image at all.

"When I was little I looked up to her. I wanted to be just like her. Strong. Wise. Fearless. She was a princess before becoming general so when she found out I wanted to be like her. She started calling me a princess after that."

Ethan nodded as he listened to Lilian. Lilian dropped the bag on the metal table near them with a sigh.

"We should go back to Amore soon. I think we should take The Resistance there." She said, taking her clothes out of the bag.

"We should." He agreed

"Mary hates it when we have been gone for so long." He said as he heard someone walking in through the entrance.

"Hello. Leia said that dinner is ready. I'm Rose by the way."

Lilian smiled at the young girl in front of her. She noticed the girl was a bit nervous and scared. She wasn't even looking at her and Ethan. He noticed it too.

"Don't be scared. We don't bite." He teased her. Rose gave him a small smile and nodded.

"She said not to be late." With that she left quickly causing Ethan to laugh at the young girl.

"It's been a while since people have been scared of us." Lilian rolled her eyes as Ethan spoke.

"After today they are more scared of me than you. I'll meet you there. I'm going to change." She turned back to the table.

"Lilian." Ethan called her, causing her to look over her shoulder at him.

"Yeah?"

"You will find a way to control this power." he said, making her turn around to face him.

"You found a way to survive after what Mercury did to you and you went back to the light. Use the force to guide you through this power."

Ethan left Lilian who was leaning against the table. She stared at him while he walked out of the craft. Her mind was still processing everything that occurred today. Her muscles ached from today's fight. Her hands went up to her hair to take her braids down. She ran her fingers through her hair.

With a groan she pushed herself off the table to the little room where Ethan and her shared to sleep whenever they were traveling out of Amore. She changed her clothes to another set of long black sleeves and a pair of black pants.

She grabbed her clothes and tucked them into the bag. She grabbed the knife and hid it in her boot. She decided to leave her shoulder holster and guns in the room. Her hand rested on the door frame for a moment. She was nervous. She didn't want to face Ben, she didn't want to face anyone after her little runaway.

"Breathe. Breathe. Breathe." She repeatedly told herself.

She walked out of the room then out the craft and down the ramp. She made her way to the many tents that were set up around a large fire. The members of The Resistance were sitting down around near the fire on little metal chairs.

Ben stared at Ethan's aircraft that was a few feet away from the camp. He grunted in pain as he shifted in his chair.

"How's the shoulder?" he looked up at his mother who was standing next to him.

"It's alright."

Leia gently placed a hand on his shoulder. She looked down at her son with tearful eyes.

"You know, I can read your thoughts." He said quietly as he looked up at her when he saw the images in her mind. The images were of himself and Lilian together.

Ben can see that his mother had thought of a different outcome of today. She thought Lilian would come back and happily agreed to help them. She thought Lilian would come back to them as her usually self but what his mother saw today was Lillian as a different person. They both realized that. She was very guarded now. She had a cold attitude to whoever she didn't know. Her hand is always resting on her weapon. She didn't speak much at all but she was being very observant.

"I'm just glad, you're back. Both of you." She said then walked away. Ben stared at his mother as she made her way to other members. He bit his tongue as the images were lingering in his mind.

He looked ahead when he felt a strong presence in the force. He saw her walking down the ramp of the craft to the camp. He knew she was nervous. She kept playing with her hands. She always did that whenever she was nervous or anxious. His heart ached after all these years he still remembered the little things about her. Ben looked at her as she made her way. She looked at her surroundings. She looked around the craft and tents around her. He wondered what made her so guarded. His train of thought was interrupted when he heard Lilian's grandfather's name being mentioned.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi's granddaughter? " Finn asked Leia who nodded as she gave him his plate.

"I thought a Jedi wasn't allowed to be in a relationship or have any kind of attachment?" Rey asked Leia.

"When Anakin became Vader, Obi-Wan was conflicted. The day that Luke saved me from Vader he was told by Obi-Wan that he had been in a relationship and had a child, a girl. He said that the woman had saved him from turning to the dark side."

"Who was she? The woman he fell in love with?" Rose asked.

"He never told us." Leia told the girl.

"What about Lilian's mother?" Rey asked as she remembered Lilian calling her mother weak.

"Sarah." Leia softly said the name with a loving smile.

Ben looked at his mother as she mentioned her once dear friend. After the death of Vader, Leia and Luke searched for the child of Obi-Wan. Once they have found the girl with the help of the force. The siblings decided to tell Sarah about her father, who she didn't know at all. Sarah didn't even know who was her own mother. Lillian's grandmother was a mystery to them. Ben didn't remember much of Sarah but he did remember when he was a child around five years old. Ben had touched Sarah's belly while she was pregnant with Lillian.

"Did she have the force as well?" Finn asked.

"She did but.." Leia said but stopped in mid sentence. Tears shimmered in her eyes.

"She was afraid." Ben spoke up finishing his mother's sentence. Ben looked at her mother as the people turned to him. He knew how much Sarah meant to her.

"Afraid?" Rey questioned.

"Sarah had visions. Visions of herself going to the dark side. Horrible visions, so she decided not to use the force at all." Ben replied.

"She was an amazing woman, though. Not a single mean bone in her body. She fell in love with an officer where she lived and they were inseparable. He was an orphan as well. They met when they were younger." Leia told them.

"He took the name of Kenobi when Sarah married him. Months later she didn't realize she was pregnant until Luke had told her. He could sense Lillian's force in Sarah." Leia said with a soft smile.

"What happened to them?" Ben presses his lips together in a thin line at Rose's question. Leia spoke softly.

"Chris, Lilian's father was killed by a smuggler. Sarah was with him when it happened. She sent out a help signal to Han and I. We found Lilian hidden underneath under the floors of the house. We found them dead. Han and I decided to take Lilian and raise her as our own."

Everyone quieted down as they saw the Mandalorian walking towards them. He nodded at them hello and sat down near an empty chair. Leia walked to him handing him a plate.

"C-3PO, please pass these around." Leia asked, handing the plates to the droid. Ethan places his plate on the ground near his chair.

"Yes. R2-D2 came along." The droid told the smaller droid as they gave out to the plates to the people.

"You aren't going to eat?" Poe asked Ethan as he sat next to Finn.

"I'll eat later." Ethan told him as he looked over his shoulder to see if Lilian was coming.

"Is it true that you guys can't take off your helmet?" Finn asked as he wiggled in his seat to get comfortable near Poe and Rose.

Ethan nodded. Ben stared at the Mandalorian.

'Has Lilian seen his face?' Ben thought, he tensed up as Lilian arrived at the fire. Everyone stood quiet for a moment.

"Miss Lilian!" C-3PO happily yelled as he made his way towards her. Lilian's eyes widened as she saw the droid walking towards her.

"C-3PO!" Lilian yelled excitedly as she hugged the droid.

"Look at you. You haven't aged a bit." She joked with a smile. R2-D2 beeped hello at Lilian, she kneeled in front of the smaller droid.

"Hey D2. Oh my stars." She tapped its sides softly. Leia smiled as Lilian had reunited with the droids. Leia looked over at Ben, he had a small smile watching 3PO talk to Lilian.

"Hello there, little one." Lillian said as BB-8 hid behind R2-D2. Lillian held her hand out to the orange and white droid. BB-8 let out a whistle and rolled to her. She laughed as she patted the top of the droid's head.

After the little reunion she sat next to Ethan. She looked ahead of her and met Ben's eyes. They stared at each other for a second. She looked away when Leia bought her a plate. She saw Chewie near her. The wookie nodded at her then started to eat.

"Thank you." She told Leia as she placed the plate on her lap.

"'Eating later?" She asked Ethan who nodded as he leaned back on his seat.

Leia gave Ben a plate. "Thanks." Leia sat next to him with her own plate. Some were talking among themselves while others ate quietly.

"Lilian, how did you meet Ethan?" Leia asked. Lilian looked at Ethan who shrugged his shoulders not knowing how to answer.

"He found me." Ben looked at Lilian as she spoke softly. She didn't want them to know about her first meeting with him.

"He took me to a planet named Amore. I know you don't know where to go next but we can take you there. We live there, it's pretty small and not many people know about it. I think it's best to take you guys tomorrow." Lilian told Leia. Leia nodded and looked at Ben.

"Best to lay low for a while." Ben commented.

"Take the time to rest up. Luke may have trained you for a while but he still hasn't shown you everything." He said as he looked at Rey. They all froze as he mentioned Luke's name. It's been weeks since the death of Luke Skywalker.

"Tomorrow in the morning, then. Before the First Order comes back." Lilian told them.

"Thank you." Leia said sincerely to her. Lilian nodded at her and looked down at her plate.

"Is there enough fuel for you guys ?" Lilian asked them as she ate.

"Yes, is it possible to take a few of us with you guys on the aircraft?"

"That's no problem. We have the room." Ethan answered her.

"We leave bright and early tomorrow then." Leia said looking at the group. They agreed and continued to eat in silence.

"The people who are coming with us. Don't be scared if you hear a loud roaring sound. It's just Lilian snoring." Ethan said, making a few people laugh.

"Ethan!" Lilian yelled, pinching him at the shoulder where his armor didn't cover.

"Ow." He yelled looking over at her.

"I do not snore." She said, making Ethan sit up straight in his seat.

"You are saying you do not snore?" He said laughing as he shook his head at disbelief.

"I don't snore." She repeated then looked around.

"I don't snore." She once again said with all seriousness causing some members of the group to laugh.

"At least I'm not a blanket hogger." She teased him pointing her fork at him.

"You know I get cold easily." He said, defending himself causing her to roll her eyes at him.

"Yeah ok. It's my blanket, though." Ethan stood up and scoffed at his disbelief. He saw her grinning as she ate.

Ben looked at them. 'They shared a bed?' He thought to himself. He ignored the rush feeling of jealousy through his body. He didn't like how easy it was for them to joke around. They joked around just like how he used to do with her.

"It's soft."Ethan stated, making her laugh.

"I know it's soft. That's why it's mine." She answered back at him with the same tone of sassiness he was giving to her.

"I bought it though." He said, causing people to giggle at the scene in front of them.

"You gave it to me." Lilian exclaimed as she threw her hands in the air.

"At least I dont sound like a motor running when I'm sleeping." He said, causing Lilian's eyes to bug out.

"I'm going to kick your ass." She said, making him laugh.

"Ha! Like you can."

"I have done it before."

"I wasn't ready that day."Ethan said, making Lilian huffed in her seat and placed her plate on the ground.

"You ready?" She asked. She stood up and placed her hands on her hips.

"Ready?" He asked, tilting his head to the side.

"Ready ? Ready for wh.." Ethan yelled as Lilian pushed him on the ground. Some were laughing as they wrestled on the ground. Ben couldn't help but grin as he saw Lilian put Ethan on a headlock.

"Say I don't snore." Lilian said with a smile. Ethan was huffing and puffing as he tried to get out.

"You are using the force. That's cheating!" He yelled causing her to tighten her hold on him.

"Say it!" She said.

"Ok ! Ok! I don't snore." He said laughing as Lilian let out an annoyed groan. She let out a yelped as she felt her side being tickled. She playfully pushed him away from her.

"Just wait until I tell Mary!" Ethan teased causing her to gasp dramatically.

"You want her to pinch us both?!" Lilian yelled with a smile.

"Mary?" Leia asked, making Ethan nod at her.

"Our mom." He said without a thought, causing Leia and Ben to look at him. Lillian had a small grin.

"Mom?" Leia questioned.

"Adopted mother, you can say." Lilian explained to Leia.

"I bet she'll back me up when I say you snore." Ethan quickly said making Lilian roll her eyes at him.

"Ethan!" She playfully yelled at him, making him chuckle.

"Isn't it a bit gross that you guys are together and have the same mom." Poe said, looking at them. Ethan and Lilian looked at Poe then each other.

"What?!" Lilian yelled as Ethan stood quiet. He was grateful for his helmet so no one could see the face he made.

"We aren't a couple. Just very good friends." Lilian said as she ignored Ben's gaze. Lilian and Ethan quietly made their way to their chairs and sat down. Leia could sense the awkwardness in the air so she cleared her throat.

"Ethan. What did you do before meeting Lilian?" Leia asked as Lilian grabbed her plate. Ethan did the same. The people thought he was about to take his helmet off to eat but what he did surprised them. Ethan grabbed the fork and pushed a piece of meat off his plate to Lilian's plate.

Lilian was about to refuse but he told her softly "Eat it. Please" Lilian looked at Ethan and nodded.

"I was a bounty hunter. Still am." He answered her as Lilian dug into her food.

"Bounty hunter ?" Poe said, looking excited.

Ethan nodded. "When I found Lilian. She wanted to help me. She's pretty good at catching people." He said looking at her.

" Should I tell them how you tased me?" He said, looking at Lilian who shook her head as she chewed.

"I don't know how many times I have to say I'm sorry. I didn't know it was a taser gun!" She said rolling her eyes and continued to eat.

"She tase you ?!" Finn said with a small laugh.

"Yes, she did! She did it on purpose too!" Ethan repiled.

"I can see that happening." Poe said looking at Ethan. Lilian wrinkled her nose in annoyance at them.

"I did not." Lilian said, finishing her food.

"I did not. I do not. Just like I do not snore!" He said miticking her voice in a high pitch voice.

"That's it! I'm kicking your ass." Making him laugh. Lilian placed her empty plate under Ethan's plate.

"I know what I'm going to do! I'm going to hide the blanket." Ethan immediately stopped laughing and stood up near her.

"You wouldn't." Lilian nodded at him with a laugh.

Everyone stood still looking at them. They all waited in suspense and in a second Lilian jumped over the chair and dashed to the aircraft.

"Lilian! Don't be crazy!" Ethan yelled, running to her. Both of them raced, making the group laugh.

"It's good to see her laughing." Leia said softly. She looked over at Ben who was staring at the Lilian who made it first to the craft.

After the laughter had quieted down, they continued to eat and talk among themselves. Ben stared at the fire as he thought of her and Ethan. He couldn't help but feel the darkness come over him as his thoughts of them being together polluted in his mind.

'Did they share a bed?'

'Is she with him?'

'Where has she been all these years?'

'Does she love him?'

'It would be so easy to kill him." Ben thought to himself as he took a deep breath.

His jaw clenched as he imagined the scene right in front of him. He could see Ethan gasping for air as he used the force to choke him. Ben could see himself killing Ethan.

Leia stopped talking to Rey when she felt goosebumps run through her entire body. Rey sensed it as well, she looked at Leia who was looking over her shoulder at Ben.

"Ben?" Leia called out softly as she looked at her son. Ben didn't say anything. He was leaned back in his chair, his legs were parted open as he started at the fire with intensity. Leia froze in shock as the flames of the fire near them rose higher.

"Ben!" Leia shouted, causing him to look away from the fire at her.

"Everything alright?"

The group turned and saw Ethan standing there. He had a dark brown blanket over his shoulder as he bent down to grab his plate.

"Yes, Ethan. Where's Lilian?" Leia asked, in the corner of her eye she saw Ben staring at the Mandalorian.

"She wanted to rest for a bit. She's a bit tired, she hasn't fought like today in a while. I'm going to join her. Good night." Ethan said as he gave an unsure look at the group under his helmet. Ethan could feel the glares of Ben staring at him. He just ignored it. Ben stood up and walked away first. Ethan walked away as soon Ben turned around.

"Night." He told his mother and walked away placing the empty plate in the wash bin. Leia looked at her son and sighed as she looked over at Rey who was looking at her.

"You think they will get along?" Rey asked quietly to Leia. Leia had told Rey about Ben's and Lilian's relationship. Leia knew Rey meant if Lilian and Ethan would get along with Ben.

"I hope so."

Ben sighed as he made his way to his tent. He ran his fingers through his hair while he sat on the cot. He pressed the heel of his palms against his eyes. His mother was right. It was good to see her laughing and looking happy.

The last time he saw her she was crying and begging him not to leave. He spent years trying to reconnect with her through the force. He hid all memories of her from Snoke. He told him that he killed her that night in the temple. He was frightened at the idea that Snoke would find out that she was alive and kill her himself.

From a young age Lilian easily used the force. It wasn't hard for her to manipulate it. Ben felt the light in her at a young age. He liked the feeling when she was around. It was one of the many reasons he grew so attached to her when they were younger. He knew she wasn't lying when she told them she used to be a sith. He felt the light in her but he also felt the conflict in her. Ben was worried because he never felt any conflict in Lilian before.

"You have that feeling too, you know." Lilian said to Ben as they laid together in his bed.

"Do I ?" Ben asked, running his fingers through her hair while she laid her head on his chest.

"You feel like home. Warm like the sun. It's comforting." She said with a smile.

"Sometimes I can hear you." She said quietly. Ben looked down at her with a smile.

"Even when we are far apart?" He asked. Lilian nodded at him.

"You feel it too?" She asked him as she sat up to look down at him in shock. Ben nodded back at her.

"Sometimes I can read your thoughts." Ben said softly.

"You think about me a lot." Ben said, feeling his cheeks burn red of shyness. He didn't want to tell her that he didn't mind it at all. He liked that she always thought of him. He always thought about her too.

Later that day his mother told him the reasons they were experiencing that was because they had a force bond together. When he walked away from her that night. He felt cold and alone. He's been feeling that ever since.

"Why do you look so sad, Ben?" Ben immediately looked up and gasped. Lilian stood in front of him. Ben rubbed his face with his hands then looked ahead. It was impossible Lillian stood right in front of him,

"You're not real." He said, shaking his head. It couldn't be. Lilian was wearing her Jedi clothes. Her hair was longer. She looked so young. 'Why was the force showing him this memory', he thought to himself.

"Is it because of what Luke said? Ben, I feel it too. The conflict you are having. Whatever is going on. I can help you. Let me help you. My love, let me help you." She said walking towards him. Ben couldn't help but tear up at the memory playing in front of him. He knew it was memory. Lillian had come up to him days before that terrible night. She sensed the conflict in him when they were training together. She came to his hutt that night and found him deep in his thoughts.

"I love you, Ben." She said, smiling at him as she kneel in front of him. He did exactly what he did when she told him that years ago. He raised his hands to cup her cheeks. It felt so real. He could feel the smoothness of her cheeks. Ben let out a toothy smile but when he blinked she was gone. His memory ended, he dropped his hands to his lap.

"Ben?" Ben wiped the tears that had spilled out of his eyes quickly as he heard Rey walking in his tent.

"You alright?" Rey asked him as she stood near the opening of the tent.

"Yeah." He sniffed with a nod making her tilt her head to the side. She knew he was lying.

"You have that look on your face." Rey told him. Ben sighed and looked at her. She didn't budge.

"You can tell me, Ben." Rey told him. He kept silent.

"Do you remember when you told me that I wasn't alone. I told you the same thing. You can tell me." Ben looked up at Rey. He could see she was being truthful. Her eyes didn't lie to him.

"It's been years since I saw her. She has changed and I don't know what to do. I'm happy to see her. I'm scared I'm going to lose her again." He told her.

"She came back."

"She came back because of my mother." Rey frowned when he snapped at her. He instantly felt horrible for his outburst.

"Do you still love her?" She asked sitting next to him on the cot.

Ben nodded. "I do. I spent years trying to find her after completing my first part of training with Snoke. I was more powerful and I knew more about the force. Everytime I tried to reach her, I got nothing. I had hoped if I found the map to Luke, perhaps I could find a clue about her and be able to kill Luke." Rey stared at Ben as he spoke.

"Do you remember the day we talked through the force?" Ben asked Rey.

"When you called me a monster." He added.

Rey nodded at him. "After we spoke I saw her for the first time in years but just for a couple of seconds. She looked hurt. She wasn't wearing the mask. It was her. I was trying to get closer to you to see her again. I believed our forces together were able to go through her shield she had up all these years. That's when I knew I had to get closer to you to find her."

"She looked so beautiful." Ben whispered like it was a secret. He saw her walking towards him. She looked tired. She had a thin tank top showing her arms. His eyes could see on her right arm she was wounded a bit. Her red hair was braided up to her head. He thought it was because she was injured that perhaps she let her shield down but he knew he was it was because of Rey. He knew Rey was strong with force. He knew it as soon as he saw her for the first time.

"Ben, maybe Luke knew what was going to happen? Maybe he did what he did because..."

"Luke didn't know shit." Ben said causing Rey to frown in her seat.

"Luke Skywalker." Ben said with such hate as he shook his head.

"I hate him." Rey looked at Ben as he stared at the ground.

"He never approved of the idea of Lilian and I together. He said it was unsafe. He always made me feel like I was a child, like I couldn't protect her or myself."

"He was protecting you. Luke told me how he felt something in you. Something about a voice." Rey told him. Ben shook his head.

"Snoke." Rey looked at Ben as he told her.

"Luke was probably just trying to help you, Ben. Attachments can be a problem." Rey softly told him not trying to anger him.

"You don't get it. Just like my uncle." Ben said standing up from the cot.

"Every time I was with her I didn't hear Snoke or any voice. She made me happy. Just being around her and having her presence and her smile made me feel better. He didn't seem to get that through his thick skull." Ben said.

"That night came and he tried to kill me."

'"Ben, he stopped himself before he could do it." Rey told him. Ben shook his head at disbelief.

'It's true. He told me." Rey said looking up at him.

" I don't believe you." He said angrily.

"Believe me. Luke never meant to hurt you. He was sorry. I know deep down you know it's true." Rey said to him.

"He spoke highly of you. He said you had the mighty skywalker blood in you and you were destined for great things. Luke loved you." Ben clenched his jaw as Rey spoke. They didn't say anything for a moment.

"He loved you, Ben." Rey said softly looking at him. Ben shook his head as he ignored her.

"Why didn't Luke tell me about her? Lilian."Rey asked standing up from the cot.

"I'm not sure." Kylo answered truthfully to her.

"Luke said he failed you. The pain in the eyes. I believe he was hurting double because he failed her as well." Rey spoke.

"He lost two of his students to the dark side." Ben said.

"Do you think she's still a sith?" Rey asked him.

"I don't know." Ben said as Rey looked at him. He looked lost. He really didn't know.

"I feel the conflict in her. Just like I did in you." Rey said, making him look down at her as she spoke.

"Did you?" Rey nodded at his question.

"When she looked into my mind. I saw something. She truly is strong with the force but when she went through my mind. I saw something just for a minute though."

"What did you see?" Rey looked at Ben with hesitation for a moment.

"She was crying. There was a man. Long blonde hair, blue eyes. He was looking at her, smiling while she cried. She was conflicted. I felt it. It made me sick how he stared at her." Ben frowned as Rey spoke.

"May I see?" Ben said walking closer to Rey. He held out his hand and for a moment Rey looked unsure.

"I just want to see what you saw in her. Please." Rey nodded at him then placed her hand on his open hand.

Ben took a deep breath as he felt Rey projecting her memory of what she saw to him. Ben opened his eyes and found himself in her thoughts. It was dark, nothing was surrounding him. Just a room filled with darkness. Ben looked ahead as he heard Lilian's cries echoing in the air. He walked forward towards the sound of her cries and that's when he saw her. A bright light was shining down on Lillian. She was on her knees staring at the ground as she cried. He froze when he heard footsteps come behind him. A man not taller than him stepped next to him. His blonde hair came up to his shoulder. His blue eyes glared harshly down at Lilian. His dark robes touched the ground. The dark force surrounded him. Ben felt an icy cold breeze run through him. Ben saw how the man gave her a smile as she cried. I

The memory suddenly stopped and he pulled away.

"Do you know him?" Rey asked when she saw Ben frowning.

Ben shook his head. "No, but he's dangerous. Full of death and cold surrounded him." He said.

"Should we tell your mother?"

"No. Not until we know who it is." Ben said.

"But..."

"Not until we know who it is." Ben said again, interrupting Rey.

"Why? He could be working with her now. What if this is just a con, Ben. We turn our back and she will kill us."

"Shut up." Ben said roughly causing her to roll her eyes.

"Ben, you don't know her anymore. You haven't seen her for years. What if she's still a sith? We can't trust her."

"Enough." Ben yelled causing Rey to jump in shocked. Ben pointed a finger at her.

"I trust her." Ben snarled at her.

"I know Lilian. I know her. I know her like the back of my hand. She won't betray us. She won't betray my mother. She won't betray..." Ben stopped himself before he said 'me'.

"Us." Ben said lowering his hand from Rey's face.

"How can you be so sure?" Rey said as Ben turned his back to her. He didn't answer her at all. Rey could see he was trying to control his anger. His shoulders twitched as he took deep breaths. Rey shook her head not wanting to deal with him giving her a silent treatment. She left his tent leaving him with his thoughts. Ben looked over his shoulder as he heard Rey left. He sighed as he walked back to the cot. Sitting down with his elbows on his knees.

It was around midnight when Lilian walked down the ramp. She did a little stretch as she reached the bottom. She sensed most people were asleep. She looked up and saw the moons shining down at them. She made sure her shoulder holster was tightened as she walked by the edge of the camp.

Snap Wexley bummed shoulders with Rose as he saw Lilian walking around. Rose frowned at the sight of Lilian walking in the middle of the night by herself.

"What is she doing?" He asked as they both stood up from their seats.

"It's like she's walking around like she's patrolling." Rose said then looked at him. They both nodded to each other and walked towards Lilian.

"Hey!" Lilian turned and was met with Rose and Snap. They both froze with their hands up in the air. Lilian looked down and saw she was holding a gun. She didn't realize she drew out her weapon.

"Sorry..I just.." Snap stutters causing Rose to look over at him with a deep sighed.

"We just wanted to see if you are alright. It's late." Rose told her. Lilian drew back her weapon and tucked it in her holsters.

"It's ok. I'm sorry too." Lilian said as the pair brought their hands down.

"Why are you walking around?" Rose asked.

"Just patrolling. Is someone doing look out right now?" Lilian asked as she looked at the forest then at them.

Snap shook his head at her.

"We have grids around. If anyone comes near, we are alerted instantly." He said, causing Lilian to look away.

Rose saw how Lilian's face fell at this.

"I'm sorry. At Amore we usually take turns. Something we do...to feel.." Lilian said, shaking her head.

"It's ok." Rose told her. "Really, it's fine."

Lilian nodded at her.

"So you're like a Jedi? Pretty cool." Snap said as Rose hit him on the shoulder.

"Really?!" Rose told him, causing Lilian to chuckle.

"I don't consider myself one." She said walking towards them.

"Because you don't have a lightsaber like Rey?" He asked her.

"How come you don't have one?" Rose asked her.

"I lost it during a fight." Lilian told them. Rose frowned at her answer.

"You can't get it back?"

Lilian shook her head. "I don't want it back. I'm fine using guns and my fists."

#ben solo #ben solo fanfic #ben solo x oc #leia organa #jedi #sith #kyloren #lost love #established relationship #violence #dark side

2 notes · View notes