#legend: well your body gives in and you either crap yourself or die
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randomwriteronline · 3 years ago
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I cant fucking write this down im gonna do it in points or whatever look out its LONG
Its all some fucking wizzrobes fault. It hits Skull Kid straight in the chest and when the blinding light from the spell dims theyre nowhere to be seen so the Chain freaks the fuck out (the wizzrobe gets murked). They all start calling for Skull Kid and Sky actually goes to look for them
He eventually finds them and manages to calm them down enough to bring them back to the lads, who, like him, are very concerned when they see the very-clearly-not-a-skull-kid kid wearing the skull mask, holding onto him for dear life and shaking. They can tell its Skull Kid (the clothes are still the same) but like. Holy shit thats a change
First of all: its a kid of flesh and blood. Not wood. So the limbs dont pop off. Also they have hair (lots of it, covering their eyes) and an actual nose, and they lack the pale swirls they had when made of wood. They’re also very obviously malnourished, taller, and covered in scratches (they did that by themself - suddenly having skin scared them)
Wild and Legend start brainstorming what they might need to make a potion to contrast the spell while Time tries out the song of healing (also to help calming them further), which doesnt work. The Lads decide to describe Skull Kid’s new body to them and check how their senses adapted to it to help them get comfy with it. Theyre still blind and their hearing and smell are still pretty good - also their sense of touch is very amplified and its weeeird
also! fucked up jagged teeth
They find that out when they give Skull Kid like a piece of bread and they. Fucking devour it. They eat it so viciously that they actually bite their fingers enough to draw blood
To which Wild goes oKAY BUD lets get some meat on those bones before you eat your own femurs
TURNS OUT THAT WHEN YOU SPEND THOUSANDS OF YEARS NEGLECTING YOUR BASIC NEEDS BC YOU ARE A MOSTLY DEAD IMMORTAL IMP YOUR BODY SUFFERS FROM IT ONCE YOURE TURNED INTO A HYLIAN WHOOPS
cue first few days of skull kid being exhausted all the time for various reasons and the chain doing their best to keep them functional and healthy
like pet shop owners tending to a very fucked up goldfish
Skull Kid everytime a bodily function turns out to be mandatory for survival: thanks i hate it
“Theres literally no perks to being a real child im not even fire resistant”
Not to mention how they jumped to like the later stages of puberty so the brain chemicals are Fucking Them Up
One time Four is holding their hand and suddenly he hears this loud tum-tum-tum-tum-tum coming from Skull Kid’s palm and he looks and Skull Kid is scarlet in the face shaking with sweaty palms possibly forgetting to breathe
“…Are you ok?” [skull kid wheezes in Gay 10yo Experiencing The Hormonal Fuckery Of A 15-16yo Body] “A'ight”
At one point Hyrule probably makes the others notice that you know. The kid could Die now. To which everyone responds with a Oh Fuck (again, NO PROS TO BEING A REAL CHILD)
Warriors is like dont worry guys i can teach them how to fight and as he says that he wraps a friendly arm around Skull Kid’s shoulders and Skull Kid fucking shortcircuits
Warriors: yeah if someone tries to mess with you you’ll be ready, right?
Skull Kid: im in love with you.
Warriors: … (Nervous laughter) i know im irresistible but uh. You should think abt it a bit more maybe
Skull Kid: im gonna kiss you on the mouth
Warriors: wOAH SLOW DOWN
Honestly tho which weapon would they get bc i dont think they would want a sword and their first pick would probably be like a mace just bc slamming it on someones head would be funny
Might get a rapier??? Bc they notice SK is a very avoidant fighter - runnin out of reach, dashing back in, teleporting away - so a light stabby elongated pin would probably be good for them. idk anything abt swords
Anyways thats all i got for now theres… So much in this one fucking thing…..
The whole hand smooching deal is the tags of the linked post please dont make me paste it im melting
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youarejesting · 4 years ago
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The right to bare arms
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Beta:@voiceswithoutlips​​ Rating: All Pairing: Spider!Namjoon x Reader Genre: Hybrid au, Fluff, Adventure, little spooky Words: 2.8k
Summary:  A Halloween special for the youtube channel ‘Ama-Jin Friends’ sees a group of young individuals visiting an abandoned and supposedly haunted hotel. Legend says there are evil creatures inside ready to devour those who enter. But in the depths of the building you find the supposed creature isn’t as deadly as it seems, actually he is a bit clumsy.
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You were sitting in front of the camera, feeling a little nervous. Halloween was coming up and well, that meant spooky content, and you were a big scared cat. 
“Good morning, noon, or night and welcome to another episode of Ama-Jin friends, I am your host Jin, and these are my friends. As today marks the first day of the week leading to Halloween, we are going to raise the stakes with a little competition.” Jin began speaking to the camera excitedly and you fidgeted, catching Hoseok’s eye as he too looked nervously around. 
“I told you all to pack a bag with everything you would need to stay the week in a hotel, the competition is simple, the last person to leave the hotel wins.”
“That’s easy!” Jungkook puffed out his chest, his Brown bear hybrid nodded in approval. 
“What aren’t you telling us?” Yoongi asked, noticing his owner Hoseok’s nerves rising. 
“The catch, it’s not just any old hotel, it is the most haunted hotel in this town, and top three in the country.” He smiled evilly, you and Hoseok shivered nervously. “Well since we are all packed let’s all head out?”
“As usual we have the camera crew, each group will be given a cameraman, except one, now we will be drawing lots on who will be going alone.” We each picked a piece of paper from the basket. “One of the papers is marked X the rest are marked O, the X is the individual who will go through the house alone without a camera crew. “
You looked at the paper and felt your body go weak, you were going alone. Bracing yourself on the couch you took some deep breaths, “are you sure you are okay, you look sick?” Carl, one of the cameramen asked.
“I will take it if you want?” Jungkook 
“No, I will take it!” you sighed. When you arrived at the hotel, you felt like crying, “this looks like something from a nightmare.”
You were each given a tracker bracelet and a headset with night vision goggles and a mic. Strapped to your chest was a go pro and you had a 360 camera on a stick, you were told to check the equipment every five minutes, to see if they were recording properly. And finally, you were given a heart monitor. 
You each stepped in with your backpacks of clothes, some water, a torch, and your electronics. 
“Pick a room and have fun, last one out wins”
You headed in by yourself, going to the back, on the first floor. You were shaking with nerves, “I don’t think I can make it through the night, but since I am all by myself I should stay on the bottom floor near the working toilets and the kitchen.
“Since this place has been turned into a haunted house the show stuff is upstairs. This stuff is pretty clean for people to eat food during Halloween.” You informed the camera.
“I have to find somewhere to sleep that doesn’t scare the crap out of me,” you muttered, lips numb, you found the kitchen and sighed, “I can’t sleep there, I found a small office, but it was locked, So I’m just outside in this lockable infirmary, so this is where I will camp for the night”
You chose that as your sleeping place, as there was a clean bed in the cozy room, however, the floor creaked and the carpet was discolored by water damage, but it was dry at this moment, and that’s all you needed. 
You spent the night talking to the camera and trying to sleep, unsuccessfully, when you heard a sound coming from the kitchen, “I heard a sound from the kitchen, and it’s freaking me out, can you guys hear it?” you whispered looking at the small light glowing in the corner of the lense.
Moving out the door and down the hall, you saw Jungkook and V cooking Ramen on the stove. 
“You idiots! I just had a heart attack!” you walked in shaking, Taehyung rubbed his round ears, embarrassed, and hugged you. 
“You want some noodles?” Jungkook asked playfully.
“Yes please,” you whined. 
“Hey y/n, I was telling Yui that I can smell another hybrid, I can’t tell what breed it is but it gives me a weird feeling?” Taehyung spoke in a husky voice.
“What does it smell like?” You asked aiming your camera at the two men as if you were interviewing them. Before placing the camera near the ramen.
“Like a rancid, bitter smell.” Taehyung expanded on his thoughts pulling a face.
“What smells bitter and rancid, snakes, lizards?” you brainstormed animals you knew that could be considered odd-smelling
“It reminds me of Ants?” Taehyung said thoughtfully “You don’t think it is a giant Ant hybrid?”
“Ants to me have an aniseed smell” You spoke to the camera wondering if others would agree with your statement, “Do you guys feel the same way?” 
“No, not like that, it’s funky,” Taehyung shrugged
“So something maybe insecty, I have never met an insect hybrid,” you hummed
The three of you ate ramen and parted ways, you went back to your room, but your torch was missing and you were scared, someone thought it was funny to take it but jokes on you, you wouldn’t use the torch anyway, you didn’t want anything in the dark knowing where you were in the halls. 
The first night you heard a noise, it sounded like it came from under the bed, you had been suspicious for the last hour that there was a hole under the bed. You dropped the stupid stress ball Jin had given you onto it bounced two times and stopped. When you moved to sit up there was a groan in the wood, mere seconds before the bed collapsed through the floor, you lunged off the bed for the ledge, but you missed and fell into the pitch-black basement. 
You screamed, but you never hit the floor, you were cushioned by sticky rope, you touched it and realized it wasn’t rope, it was a thick wiry spiderweb. 
One could always tell the size of the spider by the size of their web, but this was too big, this spider would have to be the size of a small bear, that scared you. Taehyung had said he smelt a hybrid, an insect hybrid, what if it had been eaten by the spider. What if it was that spider?
You felt movement on the web and you froze, something big was coming, you were desperately trying not to hyperventilate. You saw black shiny eyes and something retreat into the dark. But whatever it was, it didn’t attack, maybe because it thought you were dead when it didn't feel you struggling on the web. 
You looked around slowly, a shuffling sound could be heard below, and as you hung from midair stuck in these rope-like webs. As the sounds grew louder you screamed again as a light came hit your eyes. “Hey, you alright? You fell through the floor.” A deep voice spoke making your heart explode, you were going to die.
“Who are you?” you asked mouth gone dry, looking around until you saw the torch pointed at the roof illuminating both of your figures, he was a handsome young man. 
“I’m Namjoon the security guard, I watch on the cameras to see if anyone gets hurt. I came as soon as I saw you fall” He was wearing a very large puffy security jacket, you watched him struggle up the web and pulled you free, placing you on the ground, you picked up your things and he held out the stick 360 camera. “You might need this to continue your filming, are you like a tv show or something online?”
“We are online,” you smiled taking the expensive camera which thankfully was barely dirtied and still recording, you were still moving along behind him, you were a little scared, in a movie he would either get killed for helping, or he would be the killer. 
A shiver passed through you, you whispered into your mic. He led you to the first floor and fixed the barricade and sign that said water damage, and warned occupants to not travel down that area of the hotel. 
“Can I ask you a question?” The security guard Namjoon asked curiously.
“Sure” you smiled, happy to be back on the first floor, he told you he would take a stroll to check on every floor and make sure no one else was hurt.
“Well every one of your friends has a hybrid except you, do you not like hybrids?” He said curiously as to why you were exploring alone.
“I love hybrids, I just don't want to force one to live with me, but maybe if one wanted to then that would be different,” you murmured. “It’s complicated.”
“Sounds complicated?” he laughed, “what would you like? A cat hybrid or a dog hybrid?”
“I have no one specific in mind, just someone I could connect with.” He tripped and you went to help him up but he was already scrambling onto his feet. 
“Sorry I am a bit clumsy.” He smiled and you looked at him in the light of the hall, his eyes were all black and beady. He lowered his head. “I didn’t mean to scare you or bring you any harm, I am just a hybrid, not a pretty one either.” He gave a dry laugh, “I have lived in this house all my life now, I just have to face that this is how I will live from now on, I am not upset, I just don’t know what I am.”
He went to leave and you grabbed his arm, “You are a hybrid?”
“Yes,” He smiled sheepishly, “I should go… back down there?”
“Wait, if you have lived here all your life, where do you sleep and what do you eat?” you asked curiously.
“Well, my job is the security here, so I make some money and so I sometimes eat Ramen but when I was a child, undiscovered by the staff, I would eat whatever I could find,” he smiled sheepishly, “I have my own little home in the basement”
“Can I see?” you asked, the idea that this sweet dimpled young man grew up here with no food pulled at your heartstrings.
“You almost passed out whilst we were down there, are you sure you want to go there again?” he asked and you shivered, remembering the damp basement, he laughed putting his arm around you. “It’s okay, you don’t have to go down.”
“I am just afraid of the dark,” you admitted, now he started laughing wholeheartedly “Oh yeah just laugh at the scared girl!!”
“It’s just I live in the dark so that’s kind of funny,” he grinned, “I find comfort in the dark”
“Are you like a bat?” You guessed,
“No, I can’t fly,” he chuckled, “I am evil, scary, and everyone hates me.”
His laughter died off,  he was left looking sad and lonely, you wondered if your suspicion was right, was he the spider? or something else? He was a nocturnal animal with entirely black eyes but other than that there were no distinct features about him. He was very tall and his legs seemed to go on for days but that was all.
If he was a bat or moth he would have wings and, or webbed fingers, if he was an ant, beetle, or spider, you assumed he would have a more obvious behind. But his butt was confined to his pants perfectly, he caught you staring and he looked over his shoulder. “Is something wrong?”
“I was just checking something sorry,” you blushed, he probably thought you were checking him out, the way you were adamantly staring at his butt. “Anyway, what if you come to live with me?”
“You won’t want me,” he spoke bashfully, “I am not cute, and I am clumsy and repulsive-looking.”
“I have decided that if you want a home with hot water and real food, I could adopt you,” you crossed your arms, “you have never had an owner so I will be that, I will give you a better life, how does that sound?”
He looked like he was trying to contain his excitement and be reasonable, but he just couldn’t wipe that smile off his face as he stood up, “are you sure?” 
“Let’s go pack your bags,” you grinned, “I won’t take it back, and I won’t ask you to reveal yourself, I will give you your own room and personal space so you can be yourself.” 
Namjoon seemed to like this, grinning and heading to the basement. You tried to follow him but you slipped on the stairs, almost tumbling down the steps. Namjoon turned, looking shocked, he lunged for you. There was a tear of fabric and the jacket he was wearing ripped, revealing six more pairs of arms. 
You fell into all eight arms and he stumbled backward falling onto his back, “Are you okay?” you asked,  making sure he didn’t hit his head. Obviously, you now knew he was a spider, you were a little weirded out by multiple arms; they were all entirely human just eight altogether. 
“I’m okay,” he seemed more concerned about you, “Are you?”
“I am in safe hands,” you snickered and stood up, holding out two of yours, “I only have two to help you up, but I am sure it is more than enough, let’s go pack your bags.”
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It was safe to say you didn’t win the bet, leaving early but the video was a hit as Namjoon was the first spider hybrid caught on camera. He was introduced to your house where he got familiar with everything. You were quick to get custom-made shirts for his many arms. 
Namjoon was soon the newest member of Ama-Jin friends and though there were hate comments, the people grew to love him, seeing his cute side. They especially enjoyed him playing games and trying new things as he often made a mess. One of your competitions was to make coffee, he somehow got tangled in his arms and well the milk got more on the bench than in the mug.
The cutest part was how naive he was and how he never shied away, he loved trying new things and wasn’t scared to fail, and when he did fail he gave a dimpled smile. The fans fell in love with Namjoon when they saw how smart he was. They started to send him little toys and trinkets of his favorite animals. So here he was in a shirt that said ‘Crab Life’ it was a blue with a brilliant coral crab on it. The fans sometimes called him Daddy-Long-Legs, which had made the others laugh hysterically.
You finished up today’s fun episode and headed home, you decided to go into the grocery store, grabbing Namjoon’s favorite foods, at the check out you were paying the cashier talking to Namjoon. “If you want to grab some groceries I will grab the rest and we could head home and watch some TV”
But when you turned you saw each hand carrying a bag and you couldn’t stop laughing. His ears turned red and you assured him it wasn’t bad, “you just never cease to amaze me. How could anyone hate you? You are a precious and sweet angel!”
Namjoon puffed up his chest and grinned, he was happy to be wanted and useful and you were happy to help him feel wanted. “I think you are an amazing owner too, you support me in what I do and you aren’t too overbearing. Plus you cook really good food.”
“Well if you like my cooking, I should let you know tonight I am making your favorite,” you smiled, opening the front door, you sorted out the groceries and thanked that Namjoon was so tall he could always reach the top shelf. 
“Do you need help?” Namjoon asked and you grinned as he liked to participate, but you had to remind him to go slow and think about what he was doing first before he did it, you always gave him safe tasks not wanting him to burn himself. 
“I have a salad that could be made so I need you to wash the spinach and chop the avocado and just dice everything slowly okay, take your time and don’t hurt yourself,” you warned him, getting the rest of the food ready, “I will finish making the japchae.”
“I love japchae,” he wiggled excitedly and began washing the spinach, it made you laugh, he was still such an excitable young man, he never had someone cook for him or to hang out with. There was never someone to talk to or confide in, he never had a safe place to explore the world and expand his mind.
He grew up well despite living alone, having access to books, and was smart enough to teach others, he even knew multiple languages that he self-taught from watching tv in the basement of the haunted hotel. 
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snkpolls · 5 years ago
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SnK Chapter 119 Poll Results
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The chapter 119 poll closed with 2,021 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated! 
RATE THE CHAPTER 1,942 Responses
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This chapter was a roller coaster of action and emotional turmoil, clearly affecting the majority of the fandom, with 92.7% of respondents giving it either a 4 or a 5 rating. 
Well, Isayama. Mission accomplished. This chapter did phenomenally hurt me.
Colt became one of my new favorite characters. This is the only series where I can say I'm happy one of my favorites is dead, because that means they don't have to suffer anymore... 
don't lose your head now, we are almost in the end
Entertaining chapter, but with some glaring inconsistencies
To me, it was one of the most nerve wracking, emotional, and plot twist chapters that I've ever read in this series.
Isayama one of the madman. That's it. That's the whole thoughts.
WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT? 1,949 Responses
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Our top three fave moments were Colt hugging Falco as he transformed (28.7%), Gabi shooting Eren (21.3%) and Porco sacrificing himself to save Falco and Reiner (17.1%).
Eren getting his head blown off is my favorite manga moment since the Armored/Colossal Titan reveal... hands down. Might be even better, depends on what happens next
The Zeke scream was my favorite moment. It was so epic, I just can't wait for the anime to use YouSeeBigGirl or 2volt in this scene. It's my favorite moment as a manga reader after Willy Tybur's speech
Colt died a selfless, loyal big brother, and that's all there is to say about that.
Eren getting his head blown off is the best thing to ever happen. We know it means jack shit for him, but we got soooo many great memes. It's a good time to be alive.
I never really had strong opinions on Colt before, but he is 100% best Oniisan, being with his frightened younger brother til the end
Porco went too soon 😢
This poll was also inconsistent this month, I couldn’t vote for Pyxis drinking as my favourite moment.
WHO WAS THIS CHAPTER’S MVP? 1,941 Responses
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With so many characters to choose from, it’s surprising but exciting that Porco won this chapter MVP by a landslide. Perhaps even more surprising, however, is Gabi coming in at #2. 
I'm so proud Porco. 
#GabiGang rise up!
I’m glad that everyone’s eyes have been opened to the fact that Porco is - was - a great character 
Colt was too good for this world. 
 Gabi shoot Eren’s head off was strangely cathartic
Porco the real mvp and you all know it
Even though I don't like Porco, and never have, I will admit he was kind of the MVP this round. Reiner kicked more ass than he did at every given opportunity, dude was kinda useless tbh, so it's cool that he finally served some kind of purpose.
Badass Gabi is best Gabi
The Grice brothers were the only Marleyans I liked from the get-go, so this chapter was yet another wrench in the heart (thanks again, Yams!) Colt was totally the MVP in this entire arc, as far as I'm concerned. His last words to Falco were absolutely heartbreaking. My poor boys. :( Falco's guilt will be devastating to see.
Never cared about Porco before. But this time...
*crying like an idiot*
WHICH MEMBER OF THE 104TH HAD THE BEST SHOWING THIS CHAPTER? 1,919 Responses
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The members of the 104th are finally out of jail and back in action!  47.5% think Armin’s epic use of a thunder spear shot him into first place, while 33% think Mikasa, who went to fight the Cart along with him was the standout.
Armin was so cool this chapter <3
Connie & Jean was unexpected
Floch just die already...
So one of Armin's major characteristics throughout the manga up until this point has been him whining about how weak he is and how he never gets better at the gear and how he's such a burden, and now, suddenly, miraculously, he's keeping up with an Ackerman.  Amazing plot armor there, Isayama, truly amazing.  It certainly would be nice if the other side got even half the advantages that the Paradise crew does.  Imagine what a fair and balanced battle would look like!
Mah boi Floch seems to be the only survivor of the attack on the carttitan... he definetly knows how to survive
I love the Armin and Mikasa duo action. I also hope Armin will transform soon
Armin now is so close to Magath. I want to see him try to negotiate with him, but I also want to see him go colossal already ahhhh.
floch suffers again
ARUMIKA GANG, RISE UP. JEANCON GANG, RISE UP.
I miss Sasha :(
WHICH WARRIOR HAD THE BEST SHOWING THIS MONTH? 1,941 Responses
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The warriors got a lot of action as well as emotional play this month, and though polls in the past have shown Porco as unpopular, 59.4% of you chose him as the MVP among his comrades.  11.4% think Colt finally stood out from the crowd, 9.7% selected Gabi, and 8.6% chose the sufferboi Reiner.
Best bois: Porco and Colt Best girl: Gab Gab
M V PIECK!!
All of them? Seriously they all did great this chapter despite literally half of these kids dying or being in danger.
I was truly surprised by gabi shooting eren, but god that was awesome i loved it
I hadn’t even liked Porco or Colt before but damn did they earn my respect.
mad props to Gabi for being such a badass that she was able to dig Colt’s rifle out from under his burnt body in order to fire on Eren. Being able to think so clearly and take action even under the weight of her horror and grief was incredible. 
Originally Falco was the only non-Paradis character I liked. Now we can all Colt to that list. Shame he had to die in order for me to feel this way.
Falco was the only one who didn't do a whole lot this chapter but a large majority of them got a moment to be recognized as the type of person they are.
WHICH BROTHERLY PAIRING SPOKE TO YOU THE MOST THIS CHAPTER? 1,945 Responses
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Colt trying to do everything in his power to protect Falco is what touched the majority of the fandom’s hearts, earning them a solid 80% of the vote. At a very distant second, 10.2% of the fandom were most emotionally touched by Eren and Zeke’s desperation to make contact with each other, only to be ruthlessly denied in the end. 
I think Colt and Falco scene was one of the best scenes in all manga, so emotional
WILL REINER EVER SUCCEED IN KILLING HIMSELF? 1,941 Responses
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Sorry, Reiner, but most (90.8%) of us don’t think you’re going to have any success in ending your own life.  ….But look on the bright side: 11.9% think that maybe you’ll get lucky and somebody else will kill you! 
Let Reiner die in peace already, Isayama!
I love that my baby boy Reiner is still alive. 😭
No wonder Reiner wanted to be like Marcel, at least that kid didn't fail at suicide.
ON A SCALE OF "DEAR GOD!" TO "I'VE SEEN WORSE" HOW HORRIFYING WAS FALCO’S TITAN? 1,944 Responses
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64% of the fandom veered towards “Dear god!” in response to Falco’s horrific titan form. Only 7.6% replied with confidence that they’d seen worse.
Falco’s titan looks like a hybrid of Cheese from Foster’s Home For Imaginary Friends and Dead Hand from Legend of Zelda: OOT. So horrifying that I can’t not look at it.
 Falco gets a medal for having the creepiest mindless titan. 
MAN F****** that jaw titan is a problem!
Two things I did not need to see this chapter were Falco's mindless titan form and a decapitated Eren. So much horror, so little beauty…
Why are Falco’s Titan’s teeth in hIS NOSE WTF
WHO WOULD YOU HAVE PREFERRED FALCO TO EAT OF THE TWO? 1,929 Responses
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Porco oh so barely edged out Reiner as the person we’d most prefer Falco to have eaten. Looking at the comments, popularity had nothing to do with this. Rather many people seemed to think that dying for Falco was a more fitting gesture for Reiner’s arc.
Disappointing because the Jaws died. Reiner easily could’ve got out his nape and let Falco eat him, we didn’t need to lose Porco. 
I feel bad for reiner, becouse he could get his redemtion and complete his perfect development and he lost this oportunity,
I WANT PORCO BACK
i'm pretty frustrated that falco didn't get the armored titan, half because i want reiner to finally have some peace and also because i really wanted to see an armored titan falco.
WHICH CHARACTER HAD THE MOST MOVING SWAN SONG? 1,933 Responses
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38.8% of respondents were moved the most this chapter by Colt and Falco’s brotherly love for one another. 26.2% most enjoyed Porco’s sacrifice that couldn’t have happened without a little classic Porco sass. 18.5% are really feeling it for Nile and how he tried to save one child while knowing he’ll never see his own again. Pixis, at least you were still able to enjoy one last swig. 
I liked Pixis accepting his fate while Zeke screamed
WHILE COLT'S DECISION TO STAY WITH FALCO WAS TRAGICALLY BEAUTIFUL, IT DIDN'T SERVE A LOT OF PURPOSE. IN YOUR OPINION, IT WAS... 1,942 Responses
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In a chapter filled with so much death, does Colt’s stand out? Was it even necessary? 47.2% feel that his decision to stay by his brother’s side was understandable but unreasonable given the circumstances. 36.1% went with the simple explanation of “Tragic”, where only 8.8% thought his choice was 100% heroic.
I cried when Colt hugged Falco
Colt....I understand you're distraught about your precious lil bro being titanized, but there's a snackalicious founding titan running towards a fuzzy ass monkey, you could've helped in SOME way! 
Anyways Colt’s death although it wasn’t necessary was very moving for me, which is the first time anyone from Marley except Falco has provoked any feelings in me to be honest.
Colt is getting unreasonable amount of crap for choosing to stay by Falco's side.  I don't blame Colt at all, for seeing no immediate master plan to keep going. His instincts went right to big brother mode, to a self-sacrificing degree. And god help you if you can't appreciate that kind of beauty without feeling the need to say how much better you would have done yourself.
I was shocked to see Colt die so soon, but at the same time, I can understand why he made the sacrifice here, and it was an emotional highpoint for me in this chapter. It's going to be sad seeing Falco's reaction when he learns what has become of his brother, but I think he will understand just how much Colt cared about him
Colt's decision to stay with Falco as the later was turning into a Pure Titan was unreasonable considering the heat of the transformation nearby would kill him, but he must've thought this was the only option left because he thought no one else would save Falco (he especially would never expect Porco to sacrifice himself for Falco) and thus couldn't bear to see his beloved brother be cursed into a Pure Titan, so he just wanted to be with Falco in what he thought would be the latter's true final moments as a human.
PORCO'S DECISION TO SACRIFICE HIMSELF WAS COMPOSED OF MANY FACTORS, BUT WHICH ONE DO YOU THINK STOOD OUT THE MOST? 1,915 Responses
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Hearing Colt and Zeke’s back and forth about the lengths they’re willing to go to in order to ensure their little brother’s safety is what 44.6% of the fandom believes most motivated Porco to sacrifice himself to Falco. 25.7% felt that he was pushed the most by his unwillingness to meaninglessly die and have his titan power go to waste. For the remainder of the fandom, just a few more believe that his intent was to protect Reiner rather than saving Falco.
Porco only wanted to feel validated. He died because he was in a situation where he knew he wouldn’t survive, and once he knew the truth and felt validated, he was ready to let go and die. This is why in his final line he says that in the end, he was better than Reiner. Knowing the truth was enough for him to finally stop trying to be the best, to stop trying to show his worth, and to finally accept the fact that he couldn’t keep fighting in this battle.
If we're being honest, I was surprised to see Porco die. I wasn't expecting any of that. At least he can finally be at peace with his brother tho.
Porco’s sacrifice was one of the most noble we’ve seen so far in the series and showed a lot of character development. He’ll be sorely missed!
PORCO'S FIRST AND LAST LINES IN THE STORY WERE AIMED AT REINER. DO YOU THINK THEIR RELATIONSHIP CHANGED OVER THE TIME WE'VE WITNESSED IT? 1,918 Responses
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The results were nearly split, with 34.8% of respondents feeling that Reiner and Porco’s relationship was starting to improve after Liberio, with the potential to become even better, while 34.1% felt that Porco let go of every negative feeling he had for Reiner when he realized the truth of Marcel’s sacrifice. 16.6% feel there wasn’t enough screen time to form an opinion, and 14.5% believe there was no change in dynamic by the end. 
DO YOU AGREE WITH THE THEORIES THAT EREN HAS ALREADY ACTIVATED THE COORDINATE POWER? 1,922 Responses
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While close to half the fandom believe that Coordinate power is still dormant in Eren, more than a third believe that there was enough strangeness this month to indicate that Eren has either touched Zeke already or had some other means of accessing the Coordinate power. 
The entire chapter felt... off. Pixis teleporting from outside to inside drinking, Eren’s brotherhood of traveling pants, the whole Magath and Pieck thing, it just... seems weird.
Eren couldn't be using the coordinate rn simple because he needs royal blood... 
I can go either way on the inconstancies, all of them seem like reasonable mistakes for a rushed chapter. But that also makes them just subtle enough to actually be clues that paths shit is happening
I think that the battle shown is a false battle created by the founding titans power and the real battle will be shown to an earlier Eren through a memory
I highly, HIGHLY doubt Eren pulled off some War Hammer Titan shenanigans or activated the Founding Titan's power beforehand to make it out of Gabi's shot. The stuff doesn't add up for these two.
WHAT WAS THE MOST GLARING SEEMING INCONSISTENCY? 1,912 Responses
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“All of the above” was the favorite response to the question of inconsistencies in this chapter. Of those who made a choice, “Eren’s clothes magically reappearing” was the top pick (27.2%) followed by Pieck’s quick transformation after creating a skeletonized titan form last chapter  (13.9%). While we listed several of the inconsistencies we’d noticed, the write-ins contained even more
All the above plus Porco changing out of a garrison uniform to a SC uniform
Bert's crater, and the waterway. But I want to say Eren's clothes because that has been inconsistent for 2 or 3 chapters now iirc, memory manipulation incoming.
Commander Pixis was out and suddenly was inside with other people who drank the spinal fluid
Eren getting hit by the Titan rifle by Magath and then suddenly being okay just after that.
Eren magically getting his shoes back after they got bit off by the jaws
Gabi being in the exact right place at the exact right time. If Eren had to "die" that couldn't have been set up better?
It might be me, but Gabi with the titan rifle.  More so "how" she got it, as we can infer it was Colt's.  The problem being that Colt had it on his back even after Falco's transformation.  Being underneath a burning body (RIP Colt) and being in operable condition, it just seems off to me.
Mikasa magically changed positions at one point way too fast to be possible 
No one seems to have mentioned that Gabi's hair is down when she shot Eren
Pixis teleporting from riding a horse to chilling with a drink
Reiner's sudden in-Titan beard is what got me
The three false connections between Eren's clothes (we see once he has a white shirt in his titan, once he is naked and once he had in fact his usual "sweatshirt") I mean, come on, decide on what the boy's wearing Yams.
The Gabi riding a horse wasn't really a "inconsistency" because she spent a month in those Braus stables so of course she'll learn how to ride one in a month.
FALCO FINALLY BECAME A TITAN, SURPRISING NO ONE. OF THE FOLLOWING NAMED MINDLESS “PURE” TITANS, WHICH WILL BE THE ONE FUELING YOUR NIGHTMARES? 1,922 Responses
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Perhaps it could be recency bias, but Falco takes the top spot with 31.2% of the fandom deeming him as the most “nightmare fuel” of the pure titans we listed above. 25.4% still abhor the “flaming turkey” or “meatloaf” titan that is Rod Reiss. 20.3% are forever haunted by the Gluttonous Titan.
Armin titan will forever fuel my nightmares, he ate best boi Bertl
Manga Rod Reiss's Titan didn't do much for me. Anime version was the stuff of fucking nightmares.
BEST NAME FOR FALCO'S TITAN FORM? 1,900 Responses
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With an… interesting new titan design, it’s time to name it! Just edging out Big Bird, Pac-Man titan is the winner! Third place goes to Muppet Waka Waka, followed by Bob’s Burger Titan.
Absolute Chad
Austrailian Shitposter
Beavis Titan
Canadian Titan
Cheese from Fosters
Giraffe Man Titan
Incel Titan
Leafy Titan
My ex wife
Pelican Titan
Rubber Chicken Titan
YOU GUYS ARE MEAN
DID ZEKE CARE ABOUT COLT OR FALCO? 1,940 Responses
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Zeke, who’s not known for his empathy as a defining trait, heard out Colt when he pleaded for Zeke to spare his little brother. 54.8% of you think Zeke cared a little bit, 30.8% thinks he cared a lot, and 14.4% thinks he didn’t care one bit.
When I say Zeke cared a little about Falco and Colt, I do mean *a little*. Like, the littlest little you can care about someone before you care not at all. If Zeke caring  was a scale of 0 to 100, he cared about at about a 4. 
I really thought Zeke wasnt going to scream
Zeke was self-righteous as usual, nothing new here.
Zeke just shattered his belief that anyone cared enough to possibly aid him in his personal goal to help his little brother.
I think HE thinks he cares, but he’s more attached to the idea of himself as a person who cares and is acting out of compassion for the greater good of eldians and the world, and the truth is he doesn’t have any actual attachment and fondness for them as individuals. The trauma of betraying his parents and eating Xaver rendered him basically incapable of forming true bonds of affection.
Colt developed a considerable bond with the person who was supposed to give him his Titan power in the near future, he had the impression Zeke was not the kind of person to put a child in dire situations, so he tried to remind him of that. He never thought Zeke would do the impossible and turn his brother into a Pure Titan despite telling him the situation. The shock on Colt's face when Zeke apologizes for what he is about to do really shows that.
Fuck Zeke
Maybe Zeke will have a change of heart, maybe he will sulk into a state of depression and failure. I really hope someone convinces Zeke that suffering will always permeate in this world and the only thing he can do is hope for a better ending than how this chapter ended. 
zeke is the real life definition of a nutsack
IS THE JAW TITAN’S OWNER ALWAYS DESTINED TO SACRIFICE HIM-/HERSELF? 1,909 Responses
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Crazily enough, this was nearly a three-way tie! 33.4% feel that the Jaw titan wasn’t a factor at all in Marcel, Ymir and Porco’s decision to sacrifice themselves for someone else, but rather that’s just the type of people they are. 32.6% feel that the Jaw titan is absolutely a factor, and that it is a trait or the will of this titan to sacrifice itself for others. 31.4% believe that the Jaw Titan’s will drives its holders to protect the Armored Titan only. 
It better not be, because that means Falco's next. And we all know who he's constantly protecting with his life…
It‘s coincidence but it‘s ironic how everyone of them sacrificed themselves for Reiner.
I don't know but they need to stop.
It’s the shifter’s choice to sacrifice themselves. It’s not some destiny tf you smoking.
P A T H S
Zeke was given the wrong titan. That's all I have to say.
DO YOU THINK EREN HAD HOPED TO TOUCH ZEKE BEFORE HE COULD SCREAM AND TITANIZE THE MPS AND FALCO? 1,937 Responses
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The majority (71.4%) of the fandom are confident that Eren’s expressions and actions are proof that he was hoping to avoid Zeke screaming and titanizing everyone who’s had a swig of the spine wine. 22.5% aren’t sure, or don’t want to say either way, while a smaller percentage feel that Eren probably didn’t care if Zeke screamed, or maybe even planned for it. 
For the first time in a while, Eren's face shows that he is not in control of the situation
I think he looked horrified when Zeke screamed, and I want to think that he hoped to use the Founding Titan's power before then. :( I'm also holding out for a reversal of this titanisation IF Eren does survive and manages to touch Zeke.
HOW DO YOU VIEW GABI'S ACTIONS? 1,941 Responses
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Gabi has made some questionable decisions in the past, and has been the source of a great deal of controversy. That does not seem to be the case this time around, with ~51% of respondents acknowledging that her actions this chapter seemed to make sense, and an additional ~9% being proudly in her corner waving #GABIGANG flags. Only 8.4% thought that her character development was undone by her latest act of violence… Whether her actions were justified or not, the remaining 31.8% just hope that Gabi is kept away from guns for the foreseeable future.
Gabi's actions are perfectly understandable. She knows sees the Paradis differently but that doesn't mean she sees or understand the person who destroyed her home and killed her friend. 
Congratulations Gabi, you have a knack for finding new and inventive ways to utterly RUIN this series for me. You were a mistake that never should have been made.
Eren getting his head blown off is *chef kiss*  (Also lol karma)
Eren is my favorite character and even I was like "Gabi did nothing wrong."
LAST MONTH WHEN WE ASKED WHO WAS MOST LIKELY TO DIE, THE WINNERS (LOSERS?) WERE FLOCH (741 VOTES), THE SENIOR MILITARY (650), REINER (598), CONNIE (594), PORCO (588), AND YELENA (583). LET’S TRY AGAIN. WHO’S NEXT TO GO IN THIS BATTLE? 1,918 Responses
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Magath and Peick are this month winners for most likely to die next with 20% of the vote each. Floch and Zeke follow with 17.8% and 14% of the vote respectively.
I hope mikasa and armin spare pieck.
I hope that Mikasa and Armin totally destroys Pieck in the next chapter~!
#Zeke_LIVE! #Keep_your_little_brother_safe_you_promised! 
I seriously think both Floch and Reiner are going to live to the end. These two especially seem to be really good at surviving, it's been a pattern now
I've recently noticed death flags on Louise since she was introduced, we didn't saw her in this chapter but there are chances that the poor girl will not survive until the end. 
Also I'm so glad the fandom was wrong and Falco DIDN'T eat Reiner. However, this chapter is raising massive death flags for Gabi. I hope she won't die next chapter.
Eren is too determined to die. He'll just keep going like a head-less chicken. Like those Cuccos from The Legend of Zelda that refuse to die!
I feel guilty now that in last chapter's poll when it's asked who will die i picked Eren, and now it's a possibility that he's actually dead. But I still want to hug and protect him, my son, even if he's in pieces haha
WHICH EXPECTED UNEXPECTED TWIST ISAYAMA IS GOING TO USE TO KEEP EREN ALIVE? 1,926 Responses
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OMG ERENS DEAD NOOOOOOO- well, probably not. Only 5.2% think this is the end of the line for our protagonist. The two most popular options were that he transferred his consciousness, and that Bucket Girl will intervene; with 24.6% and 24.1% respectively.
A mix between being saved by the bucket girl and him transferring his consciousness throughout his body.
Eren is dead, timeloop shenanigans begin.
He uses the last of his power to shift. That, or Zeke catches his head and he uses the founder to grow a new body.
Regeneration: Deadpool style
He will have a long chat with Ymir in the PATHS dimension and rewrite history
Head lands in Zeke’s hand before his brain dies and it’s good enough to count
His consciousness is safe and sound in his left butt cheek. 
his consciousness is now in his left testicle
We need explanation about the P A T H S already! Isayama will take advantage of "Eren's death" to let him met the little girl (who everyone here suspects that is indeed Ymir Fritz) and reveal the Great Titan War, The Devil of the Earth, etc etc (and ofc the possibility of seeing him naked again lmao)
Isayama likes Game of Thrones. Therefore, like with Jon Snow, Eren will be kept dead for few chapters (preferably 3 till end of this volume). Then he rises - probably with bucket girl help.
HOW HAS YOUR OPINION ON THE FOLLOWING CHARACTERS CHANGED?
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The winners for “more favorable” were Porco and Colt with each getting a huge surge in popularity. On the other side of the spectrum were Gabi and Zeke. While most selected “unchanged”, they still had the largest numbers of people indicating they viewed them less favorably after this chapter.
105: "Imma make Gabi the most hated character in the series" 119: "Hold my beer"
Every time when I'm thinking Zeke can't turn any more awful Isayama proves me wrong. That chapter is a really low blow. Just catapult him on lone island far far away from people he can hurt.
I never thought I could hate Zeke more than I already had. But after Colt absolutely humiliated himself to save Falco and Zeke just screamed...As long as Zeke’s alive horrible things will keep happening.
WHAT WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 1,923 Responses
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27.2% of respondents are determined to keep the focus in Shiganshina, and don’t care what happens next so long as we aren’t taken off the battlefield just yet. 25% are anxious to hear news on Levi and Hange’s whereabouts and condition. 20.4% are hopeful that Eren will recover and finally be able to touch Zeke. 10.2% are still hanging on for Annie…. Someday she’ll come out….. someday….
I want to see Yelena next. We get this chapter one panel to her and this panel was strange as fuck. Something is up with her and I have the feeling that her existence will playing a huge role in the plot. I don't know, but I hope to get a flashback to her. 
ah, yes, this was such a horrifically tragic chapter *sheds tear* .....anyway, now that eren’s injured CAN WE SEE LEVI AND HANJI ??
Chapter 120: "Oh boy, I can't wait to see what happened to Ere-" *MEANWHILE, WITH HANGE AND LEVI...*
Pls dont switch to Levi and hange next chapter
Annie's never going to show up, huh?
I'm itching to see Historia, Levi, and Hange, as always, but what I really want to see in the next chapter is Mikasa's reaction to Eren's decapitation.
Let Eren and Zeke touch already >:v
AT THIS POINT, AROUND WHICH CHAPTER DO EXPECT THE MANGA WILL CONCLUDE? 1,856 Responses
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With lots of news on the ending coming out recently, from the final manga exhibition, to Season 4 being announced as the final season, discussion on where the series will end has been very common lately.  44.1% think it will end with 130, next June.  30.3% think it will end a volume later at 134 in October, the same month the final season premiers.  14.1% think it’ll still be going while the final season is airing, going to 138 or beyond.  9.3% think it will end a tad sooner, at 126 in February.
WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 1,841 Responses
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ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER?
I think there's a possibility that Eren might be dead dead, but his legacy will live through his last wish, supposing Zeke catches his head.
At this point of the story I'm happy Annie is still chilling in her crystal, away from the bloodbath
I never would have thought we would see Falco eating Porco and obtaining the Jaw titan or seeing Eren's head just fuckin fly through the air this chapter was insane.
As much as I dislike Floch, I def do want to see what his reaction will be to Eren’s “death,” even more than I want to see Jean’s and Connie’s tbh.
What I want to know is why do all the people with more use to the story survive when guys like Niccolo who's usefulness to the story ended when the heat from Sasha's death get to stick around?
I don't think Gabi is a bad character, but to me it almost feels like she is just getting in the way of the story progressing. I do however think her actions are understandable for her character, but from a reader's perspective it annoys me.
*Whispers* Ok, but is it possible Porco's alive? and maybe Colt can pull an Armin or survive via P A T H S Magic?
Flying head memes are the best
I was astonished at what a weight it lifted off my chest and how much more forgiving I could be after seeing Eren “I’m too good to tell anyone my plan, I work alone and I’ve always hated you” Jaeger fail so hard that Zeke screamed, Connie, Jean, Armin, and Mikasa all had to save Eren, and he was ���killed” by a twelve-year-old.
I actually didn't hate Gabi at first despite killing Sasha. But now whatever development she had is gone and since she is now established as a murderer, I am now aboard the "I Hate Gabi" train.
God, I really hope the next chapter is good because it's at a really pivotal point that could make or break this last arc.
I am very willing to make allowances for the inconsistencies so the chapter itself was very good in my opinion. The story progressed well, awesome action sequences, expectations subverted, suffering continued; therefore, good chapter.
I don't think Eren will return physically, but his presence will remain somehow through PATHS. The title of this manga is Shingeki no Kyojin, not Eren, so the story can resolve itself with the Attack Titan being inherited and Eren's memories explored.
It's a little rushed, but I like the idea and hope Isayama can pull these loose strands together to create an impactful finale.
I don't understand all this Gabi hate. Eren has always been a threat to her eyes : in Liberio's Festival when he brought by his actions death to her home and friends, in the room where he was odious to Armin and Mikasa and threatening them with a wound on his hand, when Pieck -who explained to her the world isn't black and white- designed him as the enemy and here, and here right before her child eyes, because of his and Zeke's plan, Gabi is there when Falco transforms into a titan, killing Colt in the process. It's understandable she was angry and reacted like that.
I know eren isnt dead, but idk how isayama is gonna pull it off without it feeling cheap
I liked it and it was very surprising! Tho it’s time Historia is shown again and Levi and Hange need to come back very soon as well.
I feel like a worrying number of readers seem to have somehow missed the fact Eren is meant to be a major antagonist of this arc lol
I'm torn over that ending. It had the potential to be such a powerful moment, but it just didn't do it for me.
I've never been so upset at a characters death before, not even Armins... Like Jean said to Eren about Marco: "Not everyone gets to go out in a blaze of glory." What a horrible way to go
Isayama delivers every single month.
Isayama. . . Eren internal monologue. . . . . . . when?
 I'm excited to see what comes next, but I'd like to jump back to characters like Levi, Hange, Annie, and Historia first so that everyone can come together for a big finale.  You can feel that the manga is reaching its conclusion.
Commander Pixis turning into a titan sigh so long dog. All the commanders except Hanje kicked the bucket
Oh boy. This chapter had me bawling. Colt and Porco' s deaths hit me hard. "Your big brother will be with you, always"....damn that hurt.
Shits going down and I'm here hoping to see Armin transforms just to piss Reiner off
Such a mindblowing chapter, I enjoyed it thoroughly. I was utterly speechless when Eren's head flew off. Isayama the madlad
Interesting seeing Porco receive path memories From Eren via Porco. The coordinate is the key to getting vivid memories from past shifters which almost certainly means Eren has access to Kruger’s memories with a little help from Historia.
Wouldn't it be funny if they suddenly cut to Levi and Hange for the next few months
WOW, this chapter was absolutely nerve-wracking! This one may just be the biggest emotional roller coaster ride yet with all those major character deaths and that jaw-dropping cliffhanger!
The start of every month sees a spike in my blood pressure as well as how much I pray while opening my browser to check if the latest chapter is up. Thanks, Isayama. Not only have you made me more religious, you've also made me more stressed out about a manga than exams and applications.
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robininthelabyrinth · 7 years ago
Text
Countless Roads - Chapter 31
Fic: Countless Roads - Chapter 31 - Ao3
Fandom: Flash, Legends Pairing: Gen, Mick Rory/Leonard Snart, others
Summary: Due to a family curse (which some call a gift), Leonard Snart has more life than he knows what to do with – and that gives him the ability to see, speak to, and even share with the various ghosts that are always surrounding him.
Sure, said curse also means he’s going to die sooner rather than later, just like his mother, but in the meantime Len has no intention of letting superheroes, time travelers, a surprisingly charming pyromaniac, and a lot of ghosts get in the way of him having a nice, successful career as a professional thief.
A/N: Special treat extra update this week, since it's a holiday and I have time :)
———————————————————————————
"So, which one of us is it?" Len asks Sara as their driver transports them into the prison.
"What?" she asks.
"Which one of us is it?" he repeats, knowing as well as she does that she heard him the first time. "Stein, perhaps? Me?"
"Why would it be you?" Sara asks, surprised.
"So, Stein, then," Len says with disgust. He's not sure why Rip has gotten it fixed into his mind that Savage is after Firestorm, but he's been willing to operate on that basis – after all, while Len is fairly sure the trap is for him, he doesn't actually know that for certain and Rip's got more experience with all things Savage. And, sure, Len would be willing to sign up for the risk of a bullet to the head as a last ditch resort to preserve the world.
Somehow, though, he doesn't think last ditch is what Rip had in mind.
They haven't even tried a rescue yet, damnit!
Sara presses her lips together. She puts on a decent front, but her stress is showing. "Snart, I don't know what you're talking – "
"Cut the crap," Len says pleasantly. "I was under the impression you signed up to this gig to be a hero – not someone's pet killer."
"It's not like that!"
"No? If I had to guess, Rip's feeling a little antsy about our chances of success, and he'd like you to get rid of Stein to make sure no Firestorm is created. If you don't, the future is in danger, etc., etc., something like that?"
Sara is silent for a few moments, so Len knows he's right.
"You know, I'd criticize the man for using the same card over and over again, except it seems to keep working on you," Len says.
"It's not – "
Len holds up a finger. "Join my mission or the future is doomed." Another finger. "Stop this nuke sale or future is doomed." Another. "Rescue the ATOM suit piece or future is doomed."
"I get your point," Sara snaps. "It doesn't mean he isn't right, though."
"Sure, it does," Len drawls. "Future was gonna be doomed if we didn't get to that ATOM piece, right? But we did get to it, so the world didn't end up being doomed. Meaning, of course, that if we rescue Stein, the future won't be doomed, either."
"But – "
"Who's it gonna be next time?" Len asks her. He can't afford to be nice about this, not when Jax needs Stein to maintain the triad bond, not when this is the last step Sara needs to take before she lets go of what's left of her conscience. He's spoken with killers-to-be before, scared kids trapped in prison; he knows what they look like if they don't listen to him, after they've taken that final step that goes beyond what their souls can handle - uncaring, indifferent. Ultimately suicidal. He can only imagine how much worse it will be with someone who bound up their identity with heroism. Honestly, Rip should never have asked this of her; he should've known better. There are some things a person can't do and survive intact, and Len's guessing that this is one of them, for Sara. If there's anything Len can say to stop her from even trying to take the shot that she'll torture herself over for the rest of her life, he's going to say it. "Who's it gonna be? Me? Jax? Not Kendra, not until she does what Rip needs her to do. But once you have a killer card in your deck, it's so easy to keep playing it – it's just in case, you know, just so much easier to be sure – "
"It's not like that," Sara insists through gritted teeth. “You don't understand - Rip said –”
"Sure it is. It’s exactly like that," Len says brutally. "And then one day will come the day when he tells you, 'I'm so sorry, Miss Lance – no, Sara. You've come with me through so much. We've achieved so much. But there's a time aberration that you caused just by being here, where I brought you, a really bad one, so I'm going to need you to turn that shooting hand at yourself to preserve the timeline. Don't worry, I'll tell your family you died a hero –'" Len smiles bitterly. "'Right around the time I get around to burying Carter's body.'"
Sara flinches at that last part. "I'm no one's pet killer," she says, her voice low and furious - but better furious than numb and dead and preparing to do a terrible thing. "I make my own decisions, even if you disagree with them."
"Thought your decision was to become a hero," Len drawls. "Guess I was wrong."
"I have no choice, Snart," she says harshly. "I have to do this. Rip showed me – "
"A future that won't happen if you actually put some effort into trying to get Stein out of here instead of into a grave," Len says. "I don't think you get that I'm being nice here, Sara. Nice to you, nice to Rip, too, because he's gonna regret ordering you to do this later on, too; he's going to regret all of it once he's back with his family and trying to explain to them what steps he took to save them, when he's facing up to the fact that they would never be okay with what he's done - to other people. To you. See, I'm trying to talk your language, about heroes and morals and not going back to your little bloodlust addiction the first time someone says the word 'risk'."
She glares at him. "Oh, yeah?" she says challengingly. "And how's it sound in your language, thief? You're a killer yourself, aren't you?"
"Used to be," Len says mildly. "I've stopped doing that sort of thing, now; don't want to add to the number of ghosts in the world."
"Answer the damn question, Snart."
"Fine," Len says, crossing his arms and leaning his head back. She wants to play hardball? He'll play hardball. "Here's how it goes in my language: Stein's part of Team Flash and a member of my crew long before you were. You know what happens if you decide to follow Rip's orders to off him like the worthless assassin you apparently really are at heart once we scratch off that hero veneer?"
He watches her flinch at that one.
"Well, then, Sara, if you do that, you're not going to have to worry about the timeline," Len continues. "Because I'm gonna kill you myself, and after I do, I'll tell Barry Allen to pass on to the Arrow exactly how and why of it, and I'll tell him to spread the word to make absolutely certain that your family knows for a fact that you didn't die a hero. I'm gonna let ‘em know - let 'em all know - that you died gagging on the bloodlust you came back with, instead. I'm gonna make sure that’s the last memory they have of you – covered in blood and death, their little white canary gone wrong. Gonna let 'em know what whoever it was that brought you back that last time should have Stein's death on their conscience, make so they know it's all their fault, too. I'm gonna make this so goddamn clear for them that they'll regret that they didn't pray for you to die in that boat you got yourself lost in, ‘cause it would've been better than seeing what you turned into."
She turns to him, furious, her mouth opening and closing in horror and despair.
"Of course, you could kill me to stop that," Len says thoughtfully. "What's another teammate, after all, if you're committing to doing it already?"
"Don't you dare," she whispers. He sees her eyes: they're filled with tears. He's getting to her. "I'm not – I'm not like that. This – this is for the greater good, damnit. It's necessary. The risk to the future, to the world - it's too great. This is necessary. A necessary sacrifice."
She's trying to talk herself back into it - good. That means he's convinced her out of it, if only a little bit, and now he's got the momentum. He's going to save the goodness in her soul whether she likes it or not, and whether she hates him for doing it afterwards.
Time to play his trump card.
"So why not just kill Jax now and be done with it?" Len replies, arching his eyebrows at her. "Firestorm requires regular merging to survive, and we're pretty far away from Ronnie. We can kill Jax right now and Stein'll be dead in a few hours. No harm, no foul, no risk.”
He watches Sara’s jaw clench.
“No?” he asks sardonically. “But I thought this was about the greater good. And, hell, why not? I'm sure we can rationalize that killing a twenty year old with his whole life in front of him is, how you put it, for the greater good. Hell, maybe we should suggest it to Rip – spot of euthanasia back on the ship, and Stein'll start dying right away, no risk or infiltration needed. I’m sure he’d agree."
He wouldn't, of course. For all his faults, Rip's not a cold-blooded killer - even this play he's pulling now, with Sara, is more desperation than it is well-thought-out. But Sara needs to see where the road of ruthlessness ends, or else she'll keep walking it.
"Damn you," Sara whispers. "Damn you, Snart – "
"Just to remind you: I went with the hero argument first," Len says with a shrug as the truck pulls into the prison. He's done what he can. The rest of it is all up to Sara. "You can say that was what convinced you, if it makes you feel better."
He climbs out of the truck in his guard's uniform. His job, self-assigned, is to find and break the circuit holding the ghosts in. As far as Rip is concerned, Len's just going to go to the prison cells to pop Mick and Ray out the old-fashioned way, and that's how Len likes it. Normally he prefers to work with his crew rather than around them, but he doesn't want any interference.
Sara gets out, too, but she looks pretty shaken. There's a chance Len's words have had an impact.
If not –
Well, if not, Len had better get to that circuit before Sara gets to Stein, or else they'll have two dead teammates – since he was entirely serious about killing Sara in retribution – and Clarissa is going to yell at Stein's ghost forever, assuming he can get Stein’s ghost back on the ship through that ghost-repelling field. Not to mention the potential need for a mutiny to get the Waverider back to 2016 as soon as possible for Jax to merge with Ronnie quickly enough to save his life, in the event that Rip wouldn't agree...
Lots of unpleasant alternatives down that path. Best that Len focus on getting Mick out of this place fast enough to help Len stop Sara, if the need arises.
Yuri showed Len the electricity plans and, as he’d expected, there is a circuit running through the entire building. Len isn't sure when Savage figured out how to make a medium's circle work through electricity, which is a clever trick, but then again, he is immortal. Savage has had time to learn all sorts of medium's tricks and probably invent a whole new set of them.
And he has Mick.
Len grits his teeth and heads in.
There aren't any ghosts; that's the first thing he notes. There should be a lot – prisons are violent places, filled with death and despair, and Len can't imagine maximum security gulags are noticeably better. That means they're keeping the ghosts somewhere further inside.
Unfortunately, Yuri's information showed that the main control panel is further inside, too.
Len wheels in a fake hospital bed as his cover.
"What's wrong with him?" a guard grunts.
"Smallpox," Len replies.
"What?" the guard asks, frowning at him.
Len consults his mental watch and mentally curses. This is a great time for the babelfish's timer to run out – either Gideon or Rip ought've reminded him, but, of course, they didn't.
It’s fine, though; Len can speak a bit of Russian, albeit with his usual Central City accent making it very clear that he's American. Thank heaven for a well-rounded prison education. Old Vanya from Iron Heights is probably grinning at Len from wherever he'd long since passed on to, happy that his lessons are finally being used. He'd been alive when he'd taught Len, and had been almost entirely unsurprised about Len's abilities for the exceedingly brief period he'd been a ghost afterwards.
Ray expressed surprise at Len speaking more than one language, when they'd argued over whether or not Len needed the full-out babelfish verion, wondering at how Len had learned something like additional languages when he'd dropped out of school so early, but honestly Len is starting to get used to Ray's clueless knee-jerk classism by now.
"Smallpox," Len says, in Russian this time. He keeps his voice raspy to try to hide the American accent. "You stupid or something? You don't know what it's called in English? Everyone should know what it is in case they start dropping bombs with it. Isn't that why they want the body?"
The guard looks alarmed, but he lets Len pass through without paying too much attention, clearly far more intent on passing on gossip to his fellow guards about what the prison's mysterious facility is actually being used for.
Ah, prison gossip. Never changes, no matter what nation.
Len can hear the ghosts, now, as he gets closer. The background hum never faded away entirely, not like it had with the glass in his head, but it'd been quieter than he'd liked it to be. Either way, the quiet is gone: somewhere up ahead there are a lot of ghosts.
Len reflects momentarily on his mother's advice that he avoid large groups of ghosts and his apparent inability to do so, but puts that aside. He's got Mick to rescue; that trumps everything.
He makes the next turn.
"Snart?" a familiar voice asks, far too loudly. "Is that you?"
Ray.
Len risks a glance. No one else around.
He turns. Ray's in a cell, looking excited to see him, albeit still mostly reclining. He's fine but for a few bruises – a fairly standard welcome-to-the-yard beatdown, if Len knows his prison beatings (and he does), something more intended to humiliate than to seriously hurt. They must not have started in with the serious torture yet - that, or they decided that Ray wasn't necessary for it.
"It is you!" Ray exclaims, clearly delighted.
"Shut up," Len hisses. "Where's Mick? And Stein?"
"They took them to the main room," Ray says. "Stein because of Firestorm, and Mick – I don't know why. It was after they drew blood from us."
Len's never seen Mick's blood under a microscope, even though he knows Mick can summon up a blood splatter like a pro. Ghosts, especially powerful ones, can mimic blood anywhere they want – on walls, in mirrors, and, in Mick's case, to pretend they're human.
Still, there must have been some sign in the blood that identified him. Len will have to take care of that in the future when Mick is back by his side.
He refuses to think of that as an 'if'.
"Here," Len says, pulling Ray's shrunken armor from his pocket and tossing it over. "Put that on. I need you to go back to the ship and bring Jax and an EMP – it's my fall-back plan if I can't cut the lights."
"Got it," Ray says, nodding. "Uh – why are we cutting the lights?"
"We need to escape once we're all free," Len explains, glad he'd thought of a cover story that wouldn’t involve needless amounts of explanation. No way he's mentioning ghosts in the middle of a prison, with all of its superstious inmates potentially eavesdropping. He can explain the whole medium's circle thing when they're back on the ship. "Cutting the lights will cause chaos and help cover our tracks."
"Got it!"
"Oh, and once you've alerted the ship and gotten what we need –" Len already told Jax about the EMP, but Ray stands a better chance of convincing Rip about the necessity. "— you should go find Sara. She's in here, too, looking for Stein and Mick; she'll appreciate the back-up."
Be less likely to murder in front of an audience, Len means.
Ray nods seriously. "Good luck and be careful," he says. "One of the guys was talking about stringing us up and hitting us with bats until our ribs broke, earlier on, before Savage arrived and decided to do something different."
"Glad we made it here first," Len says, and continues on his way.
"Hey, you," a big guy from a few cells down – one of the few still alert at this hour. His accent is deep, but he's using English, just like Len and Ray had been. "Amerikanski. You letting your friend go? How about rest of us?"
Len looks at him. Big, alert, possibly smart, but there's no way to tell his position in the prison hierarchy at a glance. Still, worth a shot. "I'm going to cut the power," he says. "The doors are wired; they ought to open when that happens. If you could see about some people raiding the interior, where the scientists are – "
"They experiment on inmates," the guy says. "We will be happy to help."
"Make sure there aren't any circles painted anywhere," Len advises him. "It's their leader's symbol."
The guy growls. "We will destroy," he promises. "How did you come in?"
"Bratva. Yuri, third precinct."
"He is good man," the guy says. "What is your name?"
"Leonard Snart," Len says, figuring there's no harm in getting some points in while he's at it. "Not Lewis; he's my good-for-nothing brother and a rat. Central City, US. His kid's good, though; same name as me."
The guy nods. "We will owe you if you release us."
"I promise nothing," Len says. "But I'll aim to."
With that, he continues forward.
He's just ditched the cart and ducked into the electricity control room when he hears them.
"— certainly less useful than we might have hoped." It's Savage.
"You still should have told me!" Vostok exclaims. "You led me to believe that the man on fire was our target – all of my work has been focused on replicating his abilities –"
"Yes, it has," Savage says, indifferent to her annoyance. "And correctly so. I knew it would either be a scientific marvel or a unique expression of necromancy, and it would only be possible to recreate it even in part if it was the former. When I first saw him, for a brief moment I thought that the spirit of vengeance had crossed the barrier to take form once more – but no. Merely a man, albeit an unusually stubborn one."
She snorts. "Oh, indeed. And what of other one? There is something off about him, other than the fact that his blood type is chimerical."
Savage laughs. "Oh, yes. The other one. The other one you are to leave to me..."
There's a muffled sound.
Len's need to know overwhelms his good judgment and he sneaks out for a look.
There's another containment unit, this time even more filled with ghosts, whirling with rage so thick that Len can see nothing but white lightning inside the glass. The unit has no markings, Len notes distantly; the ghosts are being held in by the electric circuit, magically enhanced. He'd assumed as much, but this is far, far worse than he'd ever thought. Savage and Vostok are shoving them in without the slightest care for space.
He doesn't really pay much attention, though: his attention is capture by a second circle, drawn in paint on the floor.
Mick is there.
Mick is chained down in there, snarling viciously as he can through the gag they've put on him.
Savage reaches into the circle and strokes Mick's cheek. "Now, now," he croons. "My little savage one, don't tire yourself out so much – or I will press these accouterments onto your very soul, and you will bear them for the remainder of your miserable existence."
Len, safe above, shudders.
Mick, captured below, merely snarls.
"Once your will is broken, you will be a fine addition to my collection," Savage says thoughtfully. "I have never seen a spirit as strong as you – tell me, what special use does the necromancer get out of you, that he empowers you so?"
Mick manages to convey, through the gag, his opinion of Savage's lineage.
Savage laughs. "You think you will not break? Oh, but you will – and even in the unlikely event that you do not, I will merely devour you." Then he smiles. "But not before you have lured in my dear Chay-Ara – and your necromancer."
Len is not a necromancer, damnit.
Mick rolls his eyes and garbles something that sounds remarkably similar.
Vostok has been busy in the meantime with Stein, who is handcuffed to a chair. "This one still refuses to talk," she says, nodding at the barely conscious man. They haven't let him rest; that much is clear - he keeps blinking his eyes as though falling asleep. "But no matter – the results of my test of his blood have shown me much. I may have a workable prototype within the hour."
"Do not give me your scientists' estimate, Valentina," Savage replies. "I know they are padded. Do you have the serum ready?"
"Soon," she says, but she's not looking at Savage when she says it. She does have it ready, and she plans to use it soon, too. She was offended by the revelation that he kept information from her, and she's responding by keeping information from him - she intends for the new Soviet Firestorm to be her victory, not his.
Great. Now it's up to Len to fix the future.
Luckily, he has a plan.
Len creeps back to the electric controls. He'd been planning on a staggered breakout – Mick first, then ghosts, then the prisoners for an added bit of chaos – but Mick's circle is paint, not electricity. He'll have to go in personally to break that.
Great.
Len activates the comms. "Jax, you copy?" he asks.
"Loud and clear, boss. What do you want me to do?"
Len smirks, and tells him.
It takes him about ten minutes to get into the controls. During those ten minutes, Vostok goads Stein and Savage does something to Mick, something that makes Mick roar in pain – actual pain! for Mick! – but Len can't think of that now.
He stores it in the back of his mind for later, once they have a satisfactory plan to kill Savage and make him pay.
For now, he thanks his eclectic education for teaching him all about electric circuits in the 1980s – and about how fragile they could be if you treated them just right.
Len sets them to overload.
“I have the shot,” Sara says through the comms.
Len snarls and sets his comm to a wider frequency – one that includes more than just him, Rip and Sara. “Sorry, didn’t catch that,” he lies.
“I have the shot,” Sara repeats.
“Good,” Rip says. “Good luck, Miss Lance."
“Wait, what shot?” Kendra asks, just like Len’d hoped she would. “Who are we shooting? Savage? Does that make sense if I’m not the one doing the shooting?”
“Uh,” Sara says.
“Don’t do it, Sara,” Len says. “You’re not a killer, right? You’re a hero. Isn’t that right, Kendra?”
“Of course she is,” Kendra says, puzzled. “Sara’s a great hero – and I’ve met Barry and Oliver.”
“Shit,” Sara says. “I can’t do it.”
“Miss Lance!” Rip exclaims.
“No, Snart's right. That’s not who I am anymore,” Sara says. “Snart - Leonard. Tell me you have a plan.”
“Ray and Jax are enacting it now,” Len reports. “All I need is for you guys to cover our exit.”
“Miss Lance –”
“I’m on it. Shut up, Rip; I can always shoot ‘em later.”
“I think I missed something,” Kendra says.
“Don’t worry about it.” Len says soothingly. “Kendra, can you fly by the right side of the building, as close as you can to the wall?”
“Sure. Will do.”
As Len had hoped, Savage’s head jerks up when Kendra does her fly-by. “She’s near,” he says, “Chay-Ara, my love…”
“What are you talking about?” Vostok asks him, turning to face him.
Turning, just as Len had hoped, away from the stairs – and the increasingly urgent flashes on the computer screen indicating an imminent overload.
The first transistor blows – literally – as Len creeps down the stairs.
"What's going on?" Vostok demands, spinning around and rushing to the computers.
"This is a rescue attempt," Savage says with satisfaction. "Soon, our necromancer will come to us -"
There's a roar of noise that doesn't come from electricity, making Savage frown. "What's that?"
"The prisoners!" Vostok gasps, recognizing the sound of feet and fists and angry voices faster than Savage. "He's released the prisoners!"
"No matter – they will head outside and scatter –"
There's a banging on the door to the lab.
Savage frowns deeper. He wasn't expecting them to be angry enough to attack - clearly, he's been spending too much of his immortal time shadowing powerful men, and not enough time studying mobs. “How secure is that door?”
“It has an electric lock –” Vostok starts.
Len grins. “Now, Ray,” he mutters into his comm.
The skylight crashes as something is dropped from a height.
Savage and Vostok spin around to look, only to spin back around as the EMP blast from the falling bomb shorts out everything in the room, sending it black for a moment.
That's when Ray in his suit comes flying down through the crack in the skylight, Jax in his arms.
The lights, now powered exclusively from the back-up generators Yuri mentioned as being too deep down to be affected by an EMP, flicker back on when Ray’s already half-way down from the ceiling.
"Don’t let him get close to the professor!" Savage roars.
Vostok grabs a gun and shoots at Ray. Ray promptly drops Jax.
Gravity does what gravity does, and brings Jax down right where his partner is sitting.
They merge in mid-air, the show-offs.
"Get them!" Savage shouts.
"Screw you," Jax says, and throws a fireball at him.
"Get the door open," Len hisses in to the comms, slithering through the lab to get to Mick. "Ray!"
"On it!"
Ray blasts the now-unlocked door open, and suddenly there's a lot of prisoners. Very angry prisoners.
"No!" Vostok shrieks.
Len makes it to Mick. "Want a ride out?"
Mick's eyes flare white and the gag around his mouth dissolves in flame. He could have done it the whole time – damn overdramatic poltergeists. "You can't break the circle," he says. "It's designed to trap a ghost inside and to drain life from any living person who enters or tries to break it except Savage."
"Shit. How quick does it drain life?"
"What do you mean?"
Len looks over at the containment unit, where the ghosts are raging.
Mick follows his gaze. "Uh," he says, abruptly realizing what Len's thinking. "Yeah, that might work, what with them being unliving but on the outside of the circle and all."
"Good."
Len uses his cold gun on the door, then throws a nearby book at it, shattering it.
And then the ghosts are free – unbound by electricity, unbound by the unit, and backed by Len, who's handing out life left and right. They howl as they rip through the building.
"Holy crap!" Ray shouts as the whole structure of the prison starts to collapse around him.
"Evac time! Everyone!" Jax shouts.
The prisoners don't see the ghosts – Len hasn't given them enough to be visible, since he needs them to focus on ripping things to shreds – but they see the walls collapse. They just don't care, their angry hands grabbing at the guards, at the doctors, at Vostok, pulling them down into the mob.
"Some of you, come here, wreck this circle on the floor," Len commands, his back straightening, his shoulders loosening, his voice echoing with reverberations in the air. He's calm, now; he doesn't even know why he was so stressed and worried before. After all, the ghosts are with him, the armies of the dead – what has he to fear?
None can stand against him, with them on his side.
"Well done," a voice gurgles from behind Len, causing him to spin around, gun at ready.
It's Savage, his face half-burned from one of Firestorm's blasts.
Len hopes it hurts, even if though it might not kill him.
"You got through my traps," Savage continues, eyes fixed on Len. "You are more powerful than I believed."
"Smarter, too," Len drawls, taking a step forward. "Don't forget that. If you ever take any action against me and mine, you'll pay for it in pain."
"Brave words," Savage replies mockingly.
"Hardly brave," Len scoffs. "The armies of the dead stand with me. And I'll turn them against you, medium – "
Mick's hand closes over Len's ankle. He's saying something, but Len can't hear him, he's too busy staring at Savage. At the man who dared to take Mick from him, dared to trap Mick somewhere, when Mick should always fly free, free and at Len's side – oh no, whatever Mick might have to say about it, Len is going to hurt this man – he's going to make sure that no one ever thinks to do anything like that ever again -
"Oh, yes, hate me, loathe me," Savage crows. "Do your worst against me, and I will live on, unlike any of your precious dead – so just try it on me, necromancer – "
Len's lips pull back into a snarl and he reaches inside of him for life, for the power to –
Wait.
"For the last fucking time," Len snaps, his voice abruptly back to normal. "I am not a necromancer!"
"Oh, thank god, you're back," Mick says, audibly this time, and throws a crate at Savage, knocking the other man ass over elbows back into the mob as the building falls on them.
Len blinks, feeling strangely disoriented all of a sudden. "Mick," he starts. "What happened -"
"Not now," Mick says. "Ray! Get Len back to the ship! He hit his head!"
Len did not hit his head!
Ray swoops down and grabs Len into his arms, damsel-in-dress style, before Len can properly protest.
“I’ll meet you at the ship!” Mick shouts. “Go!”
“Wait, but –” Len starts
Ray goes, and Len unwillingly goes with him.
Len scowls.
He’s going to get Mick for this one.
17 notes · View notes
queen-of-deans-booty · 7 years ago
Text
Hell House- Part 1
Pairing: Dean x Reader
Word Count: 2,386
Warnings: Typical Supernatural violence, angst, language, minor character death, blood, you know the usual
Summary: You have to get your mind off tings so to do so, you take a case in Texas. It’s not what it seems.
Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. Please, if you want to be tagged for this series, let me know and I’ll add you! If you want to be tagged for my other fics, I’ll add you! I want to hear what you guys think about this. If you want something requested, send it in!
Feedback is always appreciated
Tags at the bottom
Read the backstory here:
Smoking Pot with Dean
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Events from the past few days were taking a real toll on your body. You were exhausted and worn out. You were sad ever since you met Meg. You felt numb and you didn’t know how to cope with this new information.
Meg was the one who killed your mother and there was nothing you could have done to stop it. Days after the recent events, your heart was still heavy and you didn’t feel like doing anything. Yeah, Meg was dead and she wouldn’t be any harm to you but you had the feeling that she was the one who won.
You spent your whole life trying to find the thing that killed your mom only to come face to face with it years after it happened. Somehow, your mother’s death was your fault and you had no idea why it was. Were demons coming after you because of something your mom did?
What was that evil thing she mentioned in her letter? What was she keeping from you? Even in death, your mother was trying to protect you. But she wasn’t here anymore so it was up to you to get answers. All you could do right now is save people and hunt things while you searched for answers.
That is why when you found a case, you were eager to get a jump on it. You needed something to distract yourself with because otherwise, you wouldn’t be able to survive with the thoughts running through your head.
“Okay, munchkin, do you remember what I taught you?” Your mother asked with a huge smile.
“Yeah! You have to stir it a lot until all the stuff mixes together.” You giggled, standing on a step stool while you mixed the cookie batter as best as you could.
“That’s right.” Your mom said, kissing your head.
“I hope Dean likes the cookies. He’s sad all the time and I just want to see him smile. He’s my friend and none of my friends are allowed to be sad.”
“Honey, I bet Dean will love the cookies. He’s lucky to have a friend like you. You know he’s been through a lot recently.”
“His mommy died.” You said quietly as you stirred.
“Yeah, she did. That’s why he needs a friend right now and you’re the best friend he will ever get.” She said, watching you stir.
“You’re not going to die, right mommy?” You asked, looking at her. She smiled and brushed some hair away from your face. She kissed your cheek and shook her head.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“Sweetheart?” You were pulled from your thoughts and you looked at Dean who was driving.
“What?” You asked, not knowing what he said, if he said anything.
“I asked if you were okay. You looked like you were spacing out.”
“I’m fine. Where are we?” You asked, changing the topic quickly.
“A few hours outside of Richardson. We are almost there.” Dean said, looking back at the road.
“Look at Sam. He looks so peaceful.” You said, sliding closer to the younger Winchester who was fast asleep.
“Let’s wake him up, shall we?” Dean grinned and felt around his car and held up a plastic spoon. For how much the man loved his car, he kept it rather dirty. He gently reached over and placed the spoon in Sam’s mouth, careful not to wake him up.
“He’s going to get pissed at you.” You sang and leaned back to watch the show. Whenever the boys played little pranks on each other, you were always the one to step back and watch it happen instead of participate. You didn’t want to relieve the tragic times you got hurt because of them.  
“He’s a big boy, he can handle it.” Dean grinned and took his phone out and flipped it open, taking a picture of Sam with the spoon.
“Dean, eyes on the road.” You warned. As much as you loved Dean’s driving, no one should be on the phone while driving. Dean put his phone away and grinned, looking back at you.
“Cover your ears, sweetheart.” You did as you were told and Dean put the music all the way up, singing at the top of his lungs. Sam jolted awake and once he realized something was in his mouth, he spit it out and grimaced. You giggled and kept your hands over your ears, waiting for Sam to turn down the music.
Dean started drumming his hands on the steering wheel and you grinned, thinking Dean was so adorable. You were glad he was yours.
“Ha, ha, very funny.” Sam said, turning the music down.
“Sorry, not a lot of scenery here in East Texas, kind of gotta make your own.” Dean said, driving. You put your hands back down and grinned, watching the exchange.
“Man, we're not kids anymore Dean. We're not going to start that crap up again.” Sam scoffed quietly.
“Start what up?” Dean asked, trying to feign innocence.
“That prank stuff. It's stupid, and it always escalates. Right, Y/N?”
“Oh no, I am not getting involved this time. Remember what happened last time I got involved? You broke my arm and I couldn’t hunt for three weeks. This is why I stay out of this. Prank each other all you want. I’m done with it.”
“See what I mean, Dean?”
“Aw, what's the matter Sammy, scared you're going to get a little Nair in your shampoo again?” Dean joked around.
“Alright, just remember you started it.” Sam said after a while. You rolled your eyes and promised yourself you wouldn’t help either boy with any of the pranks; no matter how hilarious it might seem.
“Ah ha, bring it on baldy.” Dean grinned.
“Where are we anyway?” Sam wondered, dropping the topic of pranks.
“Almost to Richardson. About a month or two ago, this group of kids goes poking around in this local haunted house.” You started to say, leaning forward so both boys could listen.
“Haunted by what?” Sam asked.
“Apparently, a pretty misogynistic spirit. Legend goes, it takes girls and strings them up in the rafters. Anyway, this group of kids see this dead girl hanging in the cellar.” You said, looking out the window. You memorized what you read on the computer so you didn’t have to look at it later.
“Anybody ID the corpse?” Sam wondered.
“Well, that's the thing. By the time the cops got there the body was gone. So, cops are saying the kids were just fooling around.” You shrugged.
“Maybe the cops are right.” Dean said.
“Maybe, but I read a couple of the kids’ firsthand accounts. They seemed pretty sincere.” You said, not believing what Dean said. You had a knack of knowing when things were wrong and when they were right. You couldn’t explain it away.
“Where'd you read these accounts?” Dean asked, suspicious as to where you got the information. You blushed immediately and tried to avoid both Sam and Dean’s stares at you. You had to do some serious digging on this case and you couldn’t help yourself.
“Well, I knew we were going to be passing through Texas so, last night, I surfed some local paranormal websites.” You said quickly so the boys wouldn’t understand you but luck was not on your side today.
“And what's it called?” Sam asked.
“HellHoundsLair.com.” You said quietly.
“Let me guess, streaming live out of Mom's basement?” Dean said with a scoff.
“Yeah, probably.” Sam answered for you.
“Yeah. Most of those websites wouldn't know a ghost if it bit them in the ass.”
“Look, we let Dad take off; which was a mistake, by the way. Now, we don't know where the hell he is, so in the meantime, we gotta find ourselves something to hunt. There's no harm checking this thing out. Maybe Y/N is onto something.” Sam said, coming to your defense.
“Alright. So, where do we find these kids?” Dean wondered, giving in for now.
“Same place you always find kids in a town like this. Remember where we always used to go Dean, back home?” You grinned and thought of the fond memories of the place.
“Oh yeah, those were some good times, sweetheart.”
“Why? What happened? Are you talking about the place you and Dean went to without me?” Sam asked. He was always too young to hang out with you and Dean and the stuff you did were pretty illegal for under aged kids.
“Yes I am. We had to go without you. If John found out what we did, he would have never let us out of the motel rooms.” You giggled, seeing a smirk form on Dean’s face. It was probably a good thing he didn’t say anything.
“Why? What did you do?”
“Let’s just say we were lucky we didn’t come home drunk or stoned.” You giggled and looked at Sam.
“You really did that stuff when you were 17?” Sam said like he was judging you.
“Like you never wanted to.” Sam chuckled and shook his head, looking at the road.
It was night when you arrived at the local fast food joint called “Rodeo Drive”. You knew that the kids who went to the haunted house would be here. You knew what they looked like and it wasn’t hard finding them.
They were scattered throughout and you, Sam and Dean interviewed them all. You had 3 very different stories come from three very different people. While one thought the room was red, the others thought differently.
One said that there were crosses and stars but another thought pentagons. However, two things were the same in all three stories. There was a girl, hanging from the rafters and a man named Craig Thurston took them there.
“Holy shit, there is 2 hours I won’t get back.” You said after you were done. You looked at Dean to see him still processing the information they gave him.
“I think we need to go talk to this Craig guy. They told me where he was. He works at a music shop near here.” Sam said, looking at his brother.
“I thought I saw the shop when we passed by. It wasn’t far at all. We can walk there.” You said. You grabbed Dean’s hand and you three walked to the shop. When you entered, you smiled, seeing all the albums. You were always fond of record albums and record players but with hunting, you could never have one.
“Dean, these record albums are amazing.” You ran to one of the tables and sorted through them but you had work to do. This would just have to wait. You looked up when you saw an attractive young man walk from the counter and over to you three.
“Can I help you with anything?” He smiled.
“Yeah, are you Craig Thurston?” Sam asked. The man nodded and waited for more information on you and the boys.
“Well, we're reporters with the Dallas Morning News. I'm Dean, this is Sam and that’s Y/N.” You smiled when your eyes met his. He seemed excited by this and walked closer to you.
“No way, I’m a writer too. I write for my school’s lit magazine.”
“Well, good for you.” Dean said sarcastically. The look on Craig’s face faltered and you touched his shoulder.
“Don’t listen to him. I think that’s pretty cool. You like writing? Is that what you want to do?” He smiled again and nodded. “Then do it. Don’t let others discourage you.” You heard Dean clear his throat and you stepped back, remembering why you were here in the first place.
“Umm. We're doing an article on local hauntings and rumor has it you might know of one.” Sam said after.
“You meant the Hell House? I didn’t think there was a story to tell.” Craig shrugged.
“Come on, there has to be some story to it if people are so interested in it. Why don’t you tell it to us?” You smiled sweetly. Craig looked behind him as if he didn’t want others eavesdropping on him but he talked anyways.
“Well, supposedly back in the '30s this farmer, Mordachai Murdoch, used to live in this house with his six daughters. It was during the Depression, his crops were failing, he didn't have enough money to feed his own children. So, I guess that's when he went off the deep end.
“I guess he figured it was best if his girls died quick, rather than starve to death. So, he attacked them. They screamed, begged for him to stop but he just strung them up, one after the other. And when he was all finished he just turned around and hung himself. Now they say that his spirit is trapped in the house forever, stringing up any other girl that goes inside.” You looked at Dean and for once, you were thankful you were a girl. Maybe you could lure him out but you figured Sam or Dean wouldn’t let you.
“Where did you hear all of this?” Dean asked.
“My cousin Dana told me. I don't know where she heard it from. You have to realize, I didn't believe this for a second.” Craig said in a hushed whisper.
“But you do now?” You asked.
“I don't know what the hell to think. You guys, I'll tell you exactly what I told the police, ok? That girl was real and she was dead. This was not a prank, I swear to God. I don't wanna go anywhere near that house ever again, ok?” Craig looked genuinely scared and you nodded, not wanting him to break down.
“Thank you for your time.” You turned away from Craig and walked out of the shop.
“What do you think about it?” You looked up at Sam and Dean.
“I think we should pay a visit to this Hell House while it’s still daylight out.” You completely agreed and that is what you did.
The place was so isolated that you weren’t sure how people found out about this place. The path was muddy and as much as you hated getting mud stuck on your shoes, you didn’t complain. You and the boys always wore working boots and you were thankful as this time they came in handy.
Masterlist // Series Rewrite Masterlist // Buy me a Coffee?
Series Rewrite tags:
@helllonearth @amyisabellal @deanwnchstr @caseykitten6 @roxalya19 @quixoticcat @supernaturalblogging @notmoose45 @crowleysminion @mina22
Forever tags:
@that-annoying-band-potato @maddieburcham1 @ginamsmith @mogaruke @whit85-blog @inlovewithbja @spn67-sister @kdfrqqg @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes @roxyspearing @supercalifragilistic26 @mishamigose
Dean tags:
@akshi8278 @mega-mrs-dean-winchester @winchesterandpie
Other tags:
@jensen-jarpad @notnaturalanahi @deathtonormalcy56 @27bmm
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heoltrouble · 7 years ago
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Reunited
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               "Are you at it, again?“ Eunha scowled behind you while you quickly shut your MacBook so she couldn’t have access to invade your secret.
               Geez, this sneaky head! 
               You cursed her inwardly, feeling embarrassed for caught stalking your ex-boyfriend.
               Stalking Kwon Hyuk.                Yes, it’s the famous R&B singer which known as his popular name; Dean. Your ex-boyfriend who made you stuck in forever couldn’t move on phase, the passionate Hyuk. 
               "What?” you turned your head to face her, giving your innocent look as if stalking your ex was completely normal behavior. Well, it was normal and understandable when you had broken up with him one month ago, but the fact was you had been doing this for three years, three years five months three weeks two days in exact number. 
               "You will only hurt yourself.“ Eunha said, but her voice sounded sad. She was the one who knew how hard you tried to let him go, but until now you never did.
               "I know, can’t help.” You shrugged then looked out at the window, sighing. 
               You can’t stop thinking about him.                 Never.
               You tried to not having an urge peeking his life, it usually work in a month or two but you would find yourself back to stalk him again. Checking the latest news about him, the girl whom he date and stuffs. You knew it’s not right and wasn’t a good effect for your mental’s health but you couldn’t stop yourself. His presence was like tattoo which deeply engraved on your life, it was never simple to let him go. 
               Curiosity can kills T-Rex and you didn’t want to die because of your curiosity even though you’re not that ancient legend animal, infamous Tyrano Saurus. You were always curious about his life, or like what Eunha called; stupid obsession. 
               It wasn’t like you didn’t want to stop it, you tried. Multiple times, you blocked him on twitter, telegram, kakaotalk, even in instagram, but in the end you always back to your instagram account and peeked his life through your another account. 
               It’s like wanting your wound to be healed but you keep scratching it, it never make the wound any better, it make it worse and you just didn’t care. 
               Added this on the the list; nothing help when wherever you are, his songs and his name always can be heard. He’s on the top of his career, having his second mini album released, bunch of featuring with other talented artists, countless commercials, and lastly being one of judge on Show Me The Money 6, hell was increasing his appearance everywhere. 
              Then what do you have to do except accept the reality that you never could run away from him? It’s suck, and that’s how life can be. Take it or leave it.
              Living as radio announcer made you listen and read everything about him, whether you like it or not. But it’s your job that we’re talking about, be professional was the best decision. And no one knows you’re his ex-girlfriend, well you also didn’t want others to know. His fans could be so brutal and aggressive if they knew the incompatible girl who dated their oppa, jealous fangirl could be so scary and dangerous.
              You shook your head, shuddering at the thought about what they could do to you. Threat, murder, bully, kidnapping or violence.. Anything could happen. 
              “Y/n, have you read the script for the interview next week?” Your senior’s voice made you jump out from your seat. 
              “Uh?” You looked at her, completely bewildered.
              “You are not listening to me, aren’t you?” She put her hand on her hips, ready to scold you. 
              You gave her apologetic smile, “sorry, what did you just say?”
              “You’ll be the host for our interview with Dean, have you read the script?“ 
              Crap. You forgot. No, not completely forgot. You did read it but you were planning to switch your interview session with Eunha, because you didn’t want to interview this artist.
              "Sorry, sunbae..” you mumbled, thinking what kind of excuse you would say to avoid this interview.
              “Have you read it or not?”
              “I have, I did..” you nodded. 
              Shit, you were really bad at lying. 
              “Good, then you must be ready. He will have this interview next week, talking about his new single and we’ll have little bit personal question.”
               "…“ 
               "Y/n?!” She called you because you didn’t give response.
               "Yes?“ 
               "Why are you looking so uninterested? It’s Dean, all the girls love him. You should be happy because there’s a lot of girl want to be in your position." 
               And here you did your best to not rolling your eyes at her. 
               "Maybe they could take this opportunity?” You shrugged, not wanting the conversation going further. Or else, you would spilled the truth, rambling about how you cope with the sadness and regret for breaking up with him. 
               "No way, I don’t want them going crazy while interviewing him. It will make him uncomfortable.“ She reasoned. 
               "But Eunha said she wants to do it.” You lied, you haven’t asked her yet and you were one thousands percent sure Eunha won’t do it either. You just needed to save your own life and sacrifice her.
               "Nope, I need her for another project. You’re the best, You aren’t affected by him, it will help to smoothing the interview.“ 
               Smoothing the interview but ruining my life?                 Yeah, thanks.                But your life already ruined by the time you chose to break up with him.                Once again, thanks for reminding me. 
               You couldn’t hel but scoff. 
               Thirty minutes before on air, you kept fidgeting your fingers; absolutely nervous. It’s been so long time since the last time you met him, it will be the awkward radio interview on your history. 
               Minutes passed and you heard someone opened the recording room. 
               "Hi.” He greeted casually.
               You wanted to say hi but all you could do was only nodding. He was standing across you with his million smile, looking so attractive without even trying.
               His washed ripped jeans gave you glimpse on his right knee and his black sweater wasn’t helping to calm your nerve. His body screamed muscle everywhere, sure he had been hit on gym more often for the past years.
               Cutting the awkwardness, you acted professionally, asking him few questions based on the script, helping him to promote his album and made sure the listeners wouldn’t miss to watch SMTM6. Dean himself on the other said looking really calm and reserved, he went very well answering the questions. He even brought your favorite Starbucks hot chocolate which made you can’t say no. 
               Who’s crazy to say no to hot chocolate, though? 
               Finally. It was on your last section, you had one last question left on your script and then asked him to sing his song in acoustic version.
               "Dean-ssi, recently you did a lot of featuring with other artists, among of them is there your favorite?“ You asked, still managed to look him at his eyes even though you wanted to end this interview quickly.
               "Ummm..” He tilted his head slightly as he thinking the answer, looking so freaking adorable and hot at the same time when he ran his fingers on his hair.
               How could he manage that thing?                 Damn for his gorgeousness- 
               "Every featuring has its own unforgettable moment..“ he said, snatching you back to reality and stopping you to ogling at him, "It’s hard to pick one when the fact I adore all of them. The only I can do is getting better in each collaboration, they’re all very precious moments for me and my musicality.”
                Ha! The cliche answer, of course he won’t say who’s his favorite. It will only make the others feel bad. 
                “I see..” you agreed, “but I do like your collab with Loco, his rap and your voice goes well on that song.” You stopped talking when you realized you just make your own honest opinion, it wasn’t written on the script. 
                Darn- 
                Dean couldn’t hide his smirk, his eyebrows looked like they mocking you. Your opinion was like feeding his ego and it wasn’t your intention though.
                “Really?” He nibbled his lower lips, teasing you, “you listened my song?” His eyes were twinkling in amusement. 
                “Yeah.. It’s a good song.” You admitted, next time you should stick on the script instead of improvising by your own. You and your mouth needed to talk after this, it needs to stop speaking your heart loudly.
                But the song was really caught your attention, you were completely honest about your opinion. You liked the song, and you have it on your phone. 
                “You didn’t say it only for making me feel better because I’m the guest, did you?” He asked again.
                Why did you feel he was the interviewer and you were the guest? 
                “Of course not.” You defended, sometimes being nice to the guest needed, that’s why the interviewer would say they listened or watched the guest’s work, call it ethics code but you’ll need it in any occasion. 
                “Do you have it on your phone?” He dared you, gaining chuckles from his manager, your producer and few his fans which lately you knew they’re all your co-workers. They’re Dean lovers while you were Dean’s lover. You was his lover, a long time ago. But unfortunately for you, he’s still your lover.
                You aren’t going to let this topic down, are you?
                You gave him that look but he only smiled in victory.
                “I do.” You couldn’t stop yourself to not glare at him. 
                “Can I check it?” He really loved to test your limits.
                You sighed inwardly but at the end you gave your phone to him, showing your iTunes playlist. The entire Korea was listening you and Dean, you won’t let them down and gaining hatred comments for lying to their oppa. 
                He gently brushed his fingers on yours when he took your phone, you freeze for a second when you realized he did that on purpose. Dean’s seemed not caring at all, he played innocent as if nothing then he casually pressed the play button, placing your phone near the microphone to let the world knew that you’re not lying. 
                He played his newest song, Love featuring Syd. 
                “You really have it.” He sang proudly. 
                “Of course, didn’t I tell you earlier?” You suppressed your urge to not rolling your eyes and scoffing at him, well his manager was there and his bunch of lovers were there too! Literally everyone on his side.
                You noticed he was typing something on your phone very quick and skilled before he gave your phone back. He reached out your phone back to you in polite manner, then you took it from him real quick, more like snatching.
                You looked at it in disbelief when you noticed what he wrote earlier, just when you looked at him, he already staring at you with his deep eyes while you looking at him with your mouth hanging open, wondering what on earth he just did. 
                He opened note application on your phone and there’s his words typed on it;
                I miss you, please come back.
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sarahburness · 7 years ago
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How to Escape the Emotional Eating Cycle and Stop Feeling Lonely
“When you no longer believe that eating will save your life when you feel exhausted or overwhelmed or lonely, you will stop. When you believe in yourself more than you believe in food, you will stop using food as if it were your only chance at not falling apart.” ~Geneen Roth
I used to eat because I was lonely.
Lunch hour at school would last nine billion years. I'd have no one to sit with—I was spotty and mega bossy, and my hobby was copying pages from anthropology books.
Everyone would put a sweater on the chair next to them, so I'd have to sit further away. Then, just as I'd pick up my fork, they'd up and leave anyway! “Oh well,” I'd think, “If I eat slowly I can make my fries last till the bell goes.”
I switched to packed lunches to avoid the dining hall. But I didn't want to be spotted alone on a windowsill, so I'd eat my sandwiches in a toilet cubicle.
After, I'd feel full, but unsatisfied. And still have time to kill! So I'd go to the dinner hall and buy a meat pie. I felt sad and gross.
The truth was, I didn't know how to be a friend, let alone make one. I was full of resentment toward other kids.
I acted superior but felt inferior. I was needy, or tried to impress them.
I didn't think friendship was something people learned—I thought there was something wrong with me. That I'd be this way forever.
I also hated that I couldn't resist overeating. Since my family was big on brown rice and organic vegetables, I felt guilty for buying junk food.
When I hit my teens, I became body-conscious. I panicked that comfort food would make me fat. I wasn't! But I thought my thighs were big, and clenched my stomach in all day. All day!
I felt too embarrassed to ask anyone—especially my parents—or help. I thought they'd say I was greedy. Or lecture me about eating crap. Or take me to a doctor—humiliating!
I didn't know it was called “emotional eating,” but I was pretty sure it was bad. So I kept quiet.
I thought: “I can fix this myself. I just need the self-discipline to eat less!”
Going on improvised diets made things a whole new level of worse: binge eating, bulimia, and feeling utterly obsessed and depressed about food.
It took seven years before I found a way to recover.
I wish I'd known how to deal with lonely emotional eating in the first place, instead of going off on an eating disorder tangent!
So if you're dealing with a double-whammy of eating and loneliness yourself, here are eight simple steps. They will guide you through solving your emotional eating, and your loneliness, from the inside out.
1. Imagine your life without emotional eating, and shift focus away from guilt and shame.
You're not greedy. You're not gross. You're not ill. You're just trying to cope with a fear: abandonment.
It's the emotional fear we're born with. Outside the tribal circle, a baby would die. The primitive part of your brain thinks, “I'm alone—I'll starve!”
It's how you're wired, so give yourself a break.
If you waste your energy wrestling with guilt and shame over eating, you'll never tackle the real emotional challenge—loneliness.
So when guilt and shame come up, shift your focus.
Imagine a peaceful relationship with food. Imagine eating when you're actually hungry. Visualize slowly nourishing yourself.
2. Loneliness is a self-worth issue, so become willing to work on your self-worth.
It's like this: You're by yourself. That's not loneliness, that's solitude.
Sometimes it's nice, but sometimes you don't have a choice. Uh-oh!
Mind games start: you imagine it's because you're unlovable.
That's loneliness. Low self-worth, in disguise.
If you're lonely, it's easy to think you could earn your self-worth back by changing something external.
You think, “If I found a great partner, then I'd know I was lovable.”
Or you think, “I'll be worth loving once I get a grip on my emotional eating and lose weight.”
But that's not how it works! Self-worth isn't something you earn. Or that drops in your lap either.
You choose to create it.
So ask yourself: How can I work on my self-worth?
(Don't worry if you don't know yet. Some ideas are coming up…)
3. Spend some quality time with yourself.
Are you enjoying your time by yourself? Or just watching TV?
Imagine you treated a child the way you treat yourself on a too-tired evening.
Browsing Facebook when they say, “Play with me.” Sending them to the fridge to scavenge instead of cooking dinner. Binge-watching Netflix instead of putting them to bed when they're tired.
They'd feel hurt, and start believing they weren't worth spending time with. They'd also start misbehaving wildly to get your attention!
The same is true for how you feel about yourself. When we ignore our inner selves, start to believe we are worthless, and an emotional eating crisis is a great way for our heart and soul to grab our attention.
Spend some quality time with yourself.
Take yourself on a date, just you and you.
Play (build a go-cart, paint your room), be in your body (move, bathe, meditate), or relax (read, whistle, sit in nature).
Self-worth grows as you self-connect, so every little counts.
4. Create thoughts that give an inkling of self-worth.
When I was rock bottom with food and loneliness, my thoughts were dominated by failure, being a victim, and believing change was impossible.
Stuff like “I'm gonna be lonely forever,” and “I hate my body, I hate myself for eating, and I'm too pathetic to stop.”
Three positive thoughts in particular helped me out of my pit.
They didn't tell me directly I was worthy or fabulous—saying anything saccharine about my life would have felt like gloss painting a turd.
They just implied a basic level of self-worth.
They were: “I'm part of life unfolding.” (I'm not in a vacuum. Even though I feel totally dissociated and alone, I'm still participating in life on the planet.)
“I really care about my body.” (I'm upset I overate again. But I couldn't get upset if I were indifferent… So on some level, I must care!)
And: “Things are already changing.” (Repeating this phrase is a positive action… So maybe I won't always be like this).
Find one thought that implies you aren't your worst fears. That makes you feel worthy-ish. Then repeat it like you're being paid a piece rate to do so.
5. Explore how you've created loneliness.
Try this: It's funny!
Imagine someone wants to master the art of loneliness. Lucky for them, you've honed the perfect system!
Write down what you'd teach them.
My own Perfect System for Staying Lonely says: “Don't have a calendar for friends' birthdays. Tell yourself that you're too broke to buy gifts, cards, or book a babysitter.”
And: “Get hired for shift work, and rehearse theatre shows every weekend.” I disconnected from my relationship like that that for the first five years of my marriage! (Thankfully, the guy's a legend.)
The point is, I thought loneliness happened to me.
But I make myself lonely, when I don't need to be. Years after my schooldays are behind me, I lead myself back to that painful-yet-familiar place. It's called a comfort zone.
It doesn't mean it's your fault you're lonely—this isn't about blame. This is actually good news: If you're doing it, you can undo it.
6. List everything that your loneliness buys you.
An excuse not to face trust issues?
A reason to avoid intimacy?
A cover for social anxiety?
I know it's not obvious that loneliness has advantages, but sometimes it's a way to avoid something even more scary or painful.
Me? Loneliness excuses me from owning my introvert personality. Intimacy makes me feel vulnerable, and rejection scares the crap outta me.
These hidden benefits to your loneliness are called “payoffs.” It pays off to explore them!
Because they're the reason you're creating loneliness, even though it hurts.
7. Explore the ripple effect of loneliness in your life.
You'd expect loneliness to make you shy at parties, or reluctant to date.
But has it changed you in other ways?
Unhealthy self-reliance has made me a nightmare to cook with. And low self-worth has taken its toll on my financial outlook.
Clean out your worldview.
Defy your loneliness-inspired beliefs about what you can and can't do (like, ask someone to chop the mushrooms while you stir the risotto, or ask your boss for a raise).
It's a great way to un-victim yourself.
8. Finally, when you've done all that inner work, break up your emotional eating habit.
Habits weld to each other! Drinking and smoking. Driving and talking to yourself in a variety of accents. Lonely emotional eating and—?
Break the links.
Don't just say to yourself “Stop eating toast.” Don't make any rules about what you eat.
Instead, change how you eat. If you don't know how you eat, slow down.
Notice what you do at each stage of your emotional eating habit—beforehand, during, after, where, when, with what planning.
Do any part of your habit differently.
Say you eat ten slices of buttered toast and jam in front of the TV each evening. Buy different butter that you don't like so much. Put the TV (or the toaster) in the cellar. Create an eating area, keep the sofa for relaxing. Shop differently. Go out.
Keep disrupting your habit, and it will eventually dissipate.
Habit change takes patience, and sometimes repeated attempts too.
But break up your habit from enough angles, and you'll eventually find you've replaced it with a way to enjoy food again.
The way I think of it, addressing loneliness is 88 percent of the solution for emotional eating from loneliness.
When I solved my eating struggles, I spent a couple of years of journaling and becoming aware of my beliefs, thoughts, and feelings. Then, only a month or two of habit change.
I know a couple of years sounds really long! Perhaps it will take less time for you. The point is, this isn't a quick fix. Quick fixes rarely address the underlying issues.
It's tempting to rush. To try to skip straight to solving the eating—out-of-control eating feels unbearable and you want it to stop, like, yesterday—but if that hasn't been working for you, or you've even ended up binge eating like I did, give yourself permission and time to go deeper.
Trust me, changing an emotional eating habit is much easier when it's just eating, and the compulsion part has had your loving attention.
So good luck, and don't rush.
About Laura Lloyd
Laura Lloyd is a food sanity coach, as well as an illustrator. You can grab a FREE copy of her book, “How to Ditch Dieting, Love Your Body and Be Your Best Weight Always,” here!
Web | More Posts
Get in the conversation! Click here to leave a comment on the site.
The post How to Escape the Emotional Eating Cycle and Stop Feeling Lonely appeared first on Tiny Buddha.
from Tiny Buddha https://tinybuddha.com/blog/escape-emotional-eating-stop-feeling-lonely/
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robininthelabyrinth · 7 years ago
Text
Countless Roads - Chapter 18
Fic: Countless Roads - Chapter 18 - Ao3
Fandom: Flash, Legends Pairing: Gen, Mick Rory/Leonard Snart, others
Summary: Due to a family curse (which some call a gift), Leonard Snart has more life than he knows what to do with – and that gives him the ability to see, speak to, and even share with the various ghosts that are always surrounding him.
Sure, said curse also means he’s going to die sooner rather than later, just like his mother, but in the meantime Len has no intention of letting superheroes, time travelers, a surprisingly charming pyromaniac, and a lot of ghosts get in the way of him having a nice, successful career as a professional thief.
———————————————————————————
Len wakes up back at the warehouse.
His eyes hurt, his head aches, and everything is quiet again; he’s not sure how exactly Lewis is doing the impromptu surgeries required for the glass implant, but he doesn’t really want to know, either. If he survives, he’ll probably have to get tested for infection.
He hopes that Mick got his message, but he wouldn't know; he can't see or hear a damn thing.
Len officially hates glass.
If he gets out of here, he's going to go smash in a few windows, just because. Mick will help.
Len needs to not think of Mick right now.
Of course, he didn't send much more than a disguised plea for help. What will Mick even do? Len's the planner, usually, and he's all out of ideas. Sadly, it's not that unusual around his dad. Sheer terror does that.
He's learned to force himself to plan out heists despite that horrible freezing terror, but rescuing himself from his father before he gets forced to resurrect a violent ghost wasn't really a situation he'd encountered before.
"Time to get cracking, son," Lewis says cheerfully. "You've slept all night, and we still have to plan out the rest of that break in."
Len nods and staggers into a standing position.
"Don't forget to get us the remaining things we need," Lewis reminds him. "Gear, the tech guy, all of that."
Len nods again.
His head hurts and he feels sick and sluggish, probably the remnants of improperly applied anesthetics – or at least rohypnol, if his dad didn't much care about the pain caused but didn't want Len forming short term memories of it – still coursing through his system. It makes gathering up things difficult. There's plenty to arrange: his gun he has, but he still needs to gather up new guns of the old-fashioned variety for his dad, key cards to pass front desk security (just a pick-up, thankfully – Lewis apparently arranged it last night while Len was sleeping off some surgery), some spare uniforms, the trash can to hide the equipment...
Shit. They still need a new tech guy. Alternatively, Len might be able to get through the door using the cold gun, but he'd been planning on using it on the lasers and he doesn't want to run down the charge –
"Snart!"
Len blinks.
That's – Barry.
Not Mick.
Why is Barry here?
His brain is moving slow, so he just stares for a long moment.
"Barry," he says, almost uncertainly. Has he started hallucinating or something?
"Wow," Barry says, studying him. "Deena was right, you look like crap."
No, that delicacy and tact could only belong to Nora's boy.
"What are you doing here, Barry?" Len asks. His message must have gone awry; Deena must have gone straight to Barry instead of to Mick. Barry was supposed to tell Mick what was going on, and then Mick was supposed to come get him. Barry was not supposed to be here.
At least Barry doesn't seem to hold a grudge about last time, which is more than Len expected.
"We know about Lisa," Barry says. “I know your dad put a bomb in her, too. He told you he’d kill her if you didn’t help him, right?”
Len nods a little jerkily. That’s – they know. He doesn't know how they know, but they know. That’s infinitely better than he might have hoped.
“Caitlin and Cisco are working on getting it out,” Barry assures him.
Len has to close his eyes for a brief moment. Lisa. Lisa will be safe. Caitlin and Cisco – they’re good, they’re really good. They haven’t failed yet.
Visons of Lisa staggering, hand flying to her head as she moans in pain flash before his eyes. Now, at last, there’s a chance that that future won’t happen –
But he can’t risk angering his dad with any refusals, not until he gets confirmation that the bomb is out.
“Why’re you here, then?” he asks again. "If it ain't done?"
“To tell you that we're working on it,” Barry says promptly. “And also to tell you –”
“I hope you’ve got that gun of yours ‘cause –” Lewis says, walking back into the room, then stops, his eyes narrowing as he catches sight of Barry. His hand dips down into his pocket and Len tenses up. “Who the hell’s this?”
“Um,” Barry says.
Len is frozen, staring at his dad's hand like it's snake. He needs to think of something - some excuse - some reason for Barry to be here - something -
Barry plasters on a big smile and says, “Well, uh, Lenny said you needed new tech. What’s up, I’m Sam –”
"Son, you brought him in?" Lewis asks, sounding skeptical, which Len can't blame him for. What is Barry thinking? And how'd he know they needed new tech - wait, no, Barry's a CSI. They must've found the body Len dumped yesterday. “You telling me you think this kid can crack a Draycon keypad?”
"Sure," Barry says, still grinning like an idiot. "I did help Snart steal the Kanhdaq Dynasty Diamond from Central City Museum last year, and that big boy was locked up behind an AmerTek Industries Phase Three Suppression Door with a Draycon XL-1218 keypad. No problemo. Zero sweat."
Oh, God. Barry's impression of a criminal, assuming that's what he's doing, is...painful, that's what it is. Sure, he wanted a reason for Barry to be there, but this means that Lewis will want Barry in on the heist. And now both Barry and Lewis are looking at Len to confirm or deny Barry's story.
Len thinks letting Barry join in is an utterly terrible idea, but it's too late for that now. Lewis has seen Barry's face. Barry can't flash away now without revealing his identity, and now that he’s in – well. Len’s not the only one who thinks the only way out is in a box. There's no way for Barry to pull out without a bullet.
"Couldn't have done it without him," Len lies, giving the confirmation that they were both, for separate reasons, expecting.
Lewis studies Barry skeptically. “You sure you can do it?”
"Man, Draycon’s my jam." Barry pauses a second, then adds, "Yo."
Len closes his eyes in pained second-hand embarrassment.
Oddly, that seems to be what convinces Lewis of Barry's authenticity. Maybe he has enough faith in Len’s ability to select personnel to think that Len would only tolerate such an idiot if he was actually good at what he was doing.
"Okay," Lewis says. "One test, and we can gear up. Let’s go."
"Right now?!" Barry yelps. He was clearly hoping for more time.
“You got a problem with that?”
“Uh, no. All good. Can’t wait.”
"Yeah, same," Lewis says, and smashes a piece of wood into Barry's arm, knocking him down on the ground.
"Dad!" Len exclaims, unable to stop himself.
"What?" Lewis asks, smirking at Len.
"He – he uses that arm to crack the security systems," Len says. It’s a feeble response, but he can’t let his father know he cares about anything other than the job. Certainly not that he cares for anyone; that just makes them into a weapon Lewis can use against him. See what he's done with Lisa, and she's his daughter - he wouldn't have any restraint when it came to Barry. “Doesn’t make sense to fuck his arm up right before a job.”
"Yeah, what the hell, man?" Barry asks, rubbing his arm.
"Sorry about that," Lewis says, insincere as always. "Just needed to be sure you're, ah, solidly with us. Test over; won't need to do it again." He looks at both of them. "Gear up. We're heading out."
And he turns and leaves in the direction of the garage, probably to go get the car because he doesn't trust Len with it alone right now.
"Okay, but seriously, what the hell was that?" Barry repeats, looking at Len. “He’s nuts. Is he nuts?”
Len shakes his head. He understands his dad; he always did, far too well. Lewis is as sane as they come; it's just that he's an absolute bastard. He crouches down beside Barry, pretending to be helping him up. "He thought you were a ghost," he murmurs, keeping his voice low just in case his dad looks back at them. "Needed to check you weren't."
"But Mick –"
"That's just Mick, and he knows what Mick looks like. You know what I can do – the criminal underworld doesn't. So just play cool for now, since you've gone and gotten yourself stuck yourself into this. You can't back out until the job's done. Where is Mick, anyway? I was..."
Len trails off. How to say 'hoping to see him and not you' politely? Hell, it’s not even that Mick is notably more useful than Barry with his super-speed, Barry’s clearly the more valuable asset here, but damnit, he wants Mick. Even aside from his power and his strength, Mick makes Len feel grounded, makes him less afraid, lets him think again. He’d be able to figure out a way out of this, if he had Mick by his side.
"That's what I was trying to say earlier!" Barry exclaims. "He can't come – he tried, he's been trying, but there's something around this area that ghosts can't enter."
"There's what?"
"Well, it's not that they can't so much as they really, really don't want to? Like, most ghosts hit the area and just nope out – Mick spent a decent bit of effort aiming to get to you, before we convinced him you wouldn't want that – "
"I don't want that," Len says immediately. Without Len to replenish him, Mick could fade away – in a thousand years or so, given how much life Len’s already given him, but still. He’d fade away a lot quicker if he spent it all on stupid shit like trying to get through some sort of anti-ghost force field.
What the hell. Something Cabrera did, maybe? Sure, Len thought that mediums mostly went into for possessions and summonings and banishments and whatnot, but what does Len know about how mediums work?
"And, like, it moves around? The anti-ghost area. It's one of the ways we were able to figure out where you were: the zone went out of here some ways, then came back, and we figured you had to be in the area because no ghost could find you, and that was the only area without ghosts. Even ghosts who are located in a given area just run away when the field comes close. No one wants or can be anywhere in the area."
Len frowns. That doesn’t sound like it could be Cabrera; he was holed up in the hotel the whole time, didn’t even know about where they were moving or where they were located. Lewis? No - if Lewis had something like that, he would have bragged about it already…
"Sooo, we were wondering if you knew what was up? If it's some sort of anti-ghost tech, maybe a meta or a whatever-it-is you are..."
"No," Len says, closing his eyes in pain as the realization hits him. It’s not Cabrera. "It's me."
"You?"
"Me," Len says, opening his eyes again and looking at Barry. "I'm trying to protect myself. Sub-consciously."
"What do you mean?"
"My dad figured out a way to - to -" Len can't say it. "Listen, I can't see or hear ghosts right now."
"Wait, what? You mean, like, at all?"
"At all. He reduced it to let me talk to Deena - tell her not to come back until the job's done, by the way -"
"She figured; it's cool, don't worry."
"—and then he put it back.” Len opts to omit the details, since they still turn his stomach. “So I can't do anything with ghosts right now. See, talk, hear..."
"Ouch."
"Way I figure it, that includes the unquiet dead."
"Oh, crap. That’s bad."
"No kidding. I've been worrying about it for a while. So if I had to guess, I'd probably say that I'm unconsciously repelling all ghosts as an act of self-defense. Which means that Mick – or anyone else – can't come help me."
Len always was the best at fucking things up for himself. Better than anyone.
Though Tomio had managed to come through – but that was only because he was being summoned by Cabrera. Looks like Len can only repel ghosts to a certain point, and that point ends where Cabrera’s power begins.
Great.
"Deena says it took you a long time to even hear her," Barry says, nodding. "And that you were acting super weird. But now that I know that, I'll text Cisco; he'll tell the rest. We'll have to keep this rescue mission living-only."
"Lisa..."
"We're working on it."
Len nods. He can't let Lisa be hurt.
"So, your dad's after diamonds?"
"No, he wants me to resurrect a Santini Don known for ruthlessness and torture," Len says dryly. "We're getting the diamonds as a part of that."
Barry blinks. It's a testament to his time as a superhero that he just accepts it and processes it. "Okay, I'll go with that. But - what do diamonds have to do with..?"
"Nothing, really. I was just buying time." Len's mental clock pings. Lewis will be expecting them to have finished by now. "And we're out of it. Get dressed and meet me in the car."
Barry changes in a swirl of crackling light, gathers the things as Len instructs, and they meet Lewis out front before he can start to get suspicious.
Dressed as janitors, they head into the building. Barry is surprisingly helpful, especially when the keycards Lewis obtained fail to work and he reaches for his gun, only for Barry to small talk their way through the security desk.
"Maybe I should become a Rogue," he gleefully tells Len in an undertone with a grin.
Len rolls his eyes.
He does feel better, having an ally by his side, even if it's not Mick. Even if Barry can't use his powers in front of Lewis.
Well, sort of not use his powers, anyway. Barry breaks the lock by virtue of trying every combination of the safe in under a minute, but luckily Lewis is on watch duty, as, technically, is Len, so the little sparking blur of Barry’s hands doesn’t get spotted.
"Boom!" Barry crows when it clicks open. “Told you Draycon was my jam!”
Len can't help a faint smirk. Barry's morals aren't anywhere near as good as he likes to think they are – the joy of victory sometimes makes him forget that he just committed breaking and entering. Really, Len will have to take advantage of that one day.
"Nice job, Sam," Lewis says, nodding for Len to go ahead of him, which Len does, reaching for his cold gun for the next part of the proceedings. "Good to go out on a high note."
Len's blood runs cold and he spins around, only for it to be too late. Lewis has his gun out and even as Len tries to reach for him, he fires.
Barry spins from the impact and falls.
Len stares in horror. He wants to check the body; he wants to see if Barry managed to use his speed to evade it, somehow, without any lightning; he wants –
"Move it, son," Lewis barks.
– he wants not to be here anymore.
But Lewis still has Lisa.
"Sorry, Barry," he whispers, and follows Lewis.
The cold gun freezes the lasers without difficulty, as expected, and Lewis cracks the safe. It takes him two minutes longer than he boasted it would, which means the alarm resets and goes off.
Len doesn't care. Maybe the police will put an end to this. Maybe they'll shoot their way out. He doesn't know.
God, he hopes the STAR Labs crew has figured out how to get the bomb out of Lisa.
"Got them," Lewis says with satisfaction, pouring the diamonds into a bag. "Let's get out of here."
Len follows mutely.
But then there’s the Flash.
Len has never been so happy to see that stupid outfit in his life.
“Only place you’re going is back to Iron Heights, Lewis,” Barry says with all his usual superhero bravado.
He must have caught the bullet without letting off any lightning sparks that could give him away. Thank God.
Lewis sneers. “I don’t think so,” he says. “Shoot him, son.”
Len hesitates. If he freezes Barry, even only from the waist down, Lewis will know better than to think the ice will finish the job this time around; he’ll put one right in Barry’s head, just to be sure.
Lewis scowls at Len's hesitation and pulls out the detonator. “Kill him," he growls, "or you’ll never see your sister alive again.”
Len lifts up his cold gun and aims it at Barry.
He still hesitates. He doesn’t want to do this – he likes Barry, for all that the kid’s a dumbass superhero. They’re – friends, maybe, if Len remembered what it was like to have those. He doesn't want to kill him.
He hesitates long enough, enough time for Barry to get away if he ran, but Barry’s not running; Barry’s – listening?
Why is Barry not running?!
“Son…”
Len knows that tone. He knows that warning.
He can’t risk Lisa.
Not even for Barry.
Len raises the gun again, and this time, this time he’s going to do it, this time he’s going to fire, he’s going to –
“Bomb’s out!” Barry exclaims, hand on his ear where the transmitter to his team is. “Lisa’s safe!”
Len’s shoulders go slack with relief.
Safe.
She's safe.
He’s overcome with relief, numbed by it, still numbed by whatever sedatives Lewis gave him earlier, slow to understand, slow to feel, slow to react.
Maybe that’s why he doesn’t move fast enough.
“Maybe my daughter is,” Lewis says, realizing what's going on the same second Len did but reacting differently, his face twisting into an ugly sneer, rage overtaking all common sense the way it always does when he’s crossed. “But my traitorous son isn’t.”
He pushes the detonator.
Len can hear a high-pitched whine and wonders for a moment where it's coming from.
And then he has the answer, the pitch growing loud and louder, accompanied by a terrible vibration that shakes him from the inside out, like a horrific drill, right there inside his head – it’s not just glass in there, not just glass to block the ghosts; he should have known better, he should have realized – fiber-optic glass, Lewis said with a smirk, right at the start, Len should have known -
Len drops his gun and falls to his knees, clutching at his head, fingers pressing painfully in against his skull like he's trying to reach inside his own head to make that sound stop, that horrible high pitched sound, that vibration, unable to stop himself even though he knows what’s coming – the increasing agony – and then - soon - the explosion –
“Stop!”
Lewis flicks the switch and the plain slowly fades. Len slowly lowers his hands. His face is wet. He hopes it’s from the pain. He'd hate to find that he's somehow managed to be disappointed, again, by his dad.
“– and if you don’t let us go, he’s dead,” Lewis is saying. Barry has his hands up, half calming, half surrender; under his suit, his eyes are wide and round and horrified. “What’s it gonna be, Flash?”
“I’ll go,” Barry says, swallowing hard. “But I’m not helping you with anything.”
“Just go,” Lewis says, sneering and then there’s a crackle of lightning and Barry’s gone, and Lewis is laughing. “Superhero my ass,” he says. “That wasn’t all that tough.”
And then he abruptly reaches out, grabs Len by the collar, and slams him face-first into the wall. Len gasps from the unexpected pain, but otherwise makes no sound; he knows that pained noises only spur his father on. “Nice one,” Lewis observes dispassionately. “Working with the Flash to save Lisa – you must’ve worked that one out when we got the blueprints, huh? Too bad it didn’t work out for you.”
Len swallows. He’s still on his knees. He hates being on his knees.
“Now get up,” Lewis orders. “We’re going out.”
“The cops –” Len starts.
“Not a problem.”
Len just collects his cold gun and follows along mutely. There really is no stopping his dad. He can’t do it, Mick can’t do it, not even Barry can do it.
His only hope is that Mick and Barry can come up with something together.
“Hands up!” a cop shouts the second they step outside. “You’re surrounded.”
Len glances at Lewis, who nods.
They both raise their hands. The cops rush up to them and grab them both, handcuffing them; Len can see Barry hovering in the distance, watching, looking relieved. But Lewis seems unbothered by the whole thing, which doesn’t sit right. That means he’s got a plan.
Only question is, what is it?
“I’ll take ‘em,” one of the cops says, and the others nod and help shove Len and Lewis into the back seat of one of the cop cars, carelessly tossing their guns at their feet which is such an unbelievable breach of protocol that Len abruptly understands what's going on.
This is Lewis’ plan – the part he hadn’t told Len about, of course.
The car starts up and the two cops in front drive off – in the wrong direction for the police precinct. Or anything, really.
Anything except for the warehouse that they were in before.
Len leans his still-aching head against the window of the back of the car, ignoring the handcuffs that bind him.
Corrupt cops.
Of course.
Lewis’ old favorite standby, next to violence. Len should have known.
“That should put a cork in the Flash for a bit,” Lewis says with satisfaction, and Len wishes he didn’t agree. Barry believes in the law, and in the cops, and it wouldn’t occur to him to think of corruption – at least not until he gets back to the CCPD headquarters and no one’s seen hide nor hair of either Lewis or Len.
So it comes down to this. To Len, with the glass and the bomb in his head, and his dad, and the question of selling his soul to resurrect a man that even in life was vicious and terrible.
“I’m not gonna do it,” Len says quietly.
"What's that?"
"You heard me. I ain’t gonna do it. Tomio. I’m not gonna help you with him."
"Son," Lewis says. He sounds so disappointed, just the way he always does when Len doesn't go along with him. The way he does right before he shows Len exactly why he shouldn't do stupid things like disobey or speak up or – anything, really. Right before he has to teach Len another lesson.
"I don't care if you have a bomb in my head," Len says. "I really don't. Hurt me or kill me, whatever. Now that I know Lisa’s safe, you ain’t got nothing on me but myself, and that ain’t anything I’m not willing to give up to stop this stupid plan. I'm not gonna do what Tomio wants."
"He'll make us rich and powerful –"
"He'll make himself rich and powerful. He'll make you dead, and me a slave. I won't do it."
Lewis grunts.
Len waits for a response.
He doesn't get one. Lewis just keeps quiet the entire drive, until the cops reach the warehouse they’ve been using, stepping out to remove their handcuffs and nodding at Lewis before leaving them alone. They’re not gone, though; just hovering by the car. Giving them some privacy to talk.
Len eyes Lewis warily, but Lewis seems to be thinking of something.
"Son," Lewis finally say.
"Yes?"
Lewis turns and punches Len in the gut, more or less how Len expected he'd react, then, when Len doubles over involuntarily, backhands him in the face, knocking him to the ground.
"Never talk back to me like that again," Lewis says, his voice grating and harsh. "Now get up."
"I still ain’t doing it," Len says, picking himself up.
"Of course you are," Lewis says. "You've had your little moment to state your piece, it's over now. You're doing it."
"Dad –"
"I'm only giving you one more chance, boy," Lewis snarls.
"Before what? Before you hit me – again?"
"Before I hand you over to Cabrera," Lewis says, and Len goes cold. Possessions and summonings and banishment, that's what mediums did, he remembers thinking that before, but that's enough of a threat by itself. "He says he had – ways. To make you behave, if I couldn't."
"How?" Len croaks. The images of that terrible blackness, spreading over Cabrera's face, crawling into his mouth, his eyes, his ears – the memory is nauseating. Could he do that to Len, somehow?
"He said there's ways to deal with necromancers like you, son. Ways that they can be bound by their blood," Lewis tells him, and smiles. "That's why they need me, you see. We've got the same blood. So maybe Don Tomio won’t be knocking me off all that quick."
"I've never heard of anything like that."
"So?" Lewis asks, disinterested. "Doesn't mean it won't work. Ghosts only need so much consent, apparently; he said after a few – what'd he say – after a few nibbles, you'll be begging for the chance to do the job."
"You're going to feed me to the unquiet dead," Len says, horror seeping into his voice. "Until I'm too weak to resist whatever it is Cabrera has in mind."
"You could just do it," Lewis points out. He doesn't deny that that's the plan.
Len thinks of the resurrection, the theft of the black book, the easiest thing a necromancer can do – and the one thing they can't. The secret he kept so badly, the gift he didn't even give to Mick.
He thinks of his mother, dying on the floor, life pulled out of her piece by piece by the unquiet dead, the worst of all possible deaths to his mind, the death he's always feared most.
He thinks of his sister’s life, held by a string, a string held by this man – this man who is her father, who should love her, but doesn’t.
The man who drained the life from his mother until she didn't have the will to fight back.
The man who would sell his son to a fate he fears more than anything.
Len looks at Lewis. “No,” he says.
Lewis sneers. "So be it," he replies, and looks to the policemen standing behind Len. "Grab him."
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