#leave the church alone
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everyone sh. shutd up im cooking smthn
#genshin impact#venti#what am i cooking?? no idea#oh this isnt canon? dont care leave me alone#i remember thinking years ago how badass it would be to have to fight all the archons in reverse order once u get to celestia#like. not that they want to. but celestia or the heavenly principles control them not thru the gnosis but thru their thrones#dont. dont think about it too much i do NOT have enough brains to keep up with accurate lore details#i just want to see venti having lied about being the 'weakest' archon. that bitch has a fucking church theres no way. also gap moe is hhh#fitting to have your first major ally end up being a final-ish boss fight#zilly art
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guy who so desperately tries to find god. who wants to have faith in a higher authority to guide him out of the hole he's in. from the weight of guilt from simply existing, as the person he is. but every time he thinks he's answered his higher calling it turns out he's made the Morally Incorrect choice and his path to goodness and holiness was the road to the devil all along
#now trusting god will give you a way out? there's your real crime!!!#guy betrayed by the protestant promise of a direct connection with god. but is also somehow. joan of arc.#see he never achieves actual martyrdom tho bc he's not allowed to stay dead lmaooo#sam somehow the most unintentionally catholic AND protestant character of all time#dean the atheist who sees religious predestination as the curse it is from the get go. framed as the narrative's Real Moral Authority#but also in the process reifying patriarchal familial power n authority. very very important Value of the Church#i don't think it's that deep. the show's attempt at critiquing christianity. but the way it reinforces christian cultural values???#'religious predestination and absolute faith in a higher authority...bad'#nice nice ok tell me more?#“so you should put your faith in family. in your patriarch (big brother)”#?????????#the thematic incoherence of it all. it's like the world's stupidest puzzle box to me. i can't leave it alone.#sam = maybe i can find god thru following my destined path. wait oh shit.#cas = maybe i can find god thru rebellion and seeking my own destiny. wait oh shit.#dean = god is fucking dead and me i also feel not so good#the “guy who so desperately wants to find god parallel” <- me coming out as a secret sastiel fan#both of them...finding god in de-[sniper on the roof kills me in one shot]#spn bible studies#j.txt
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I love being queer and I love being a mormon, but there are times when I'm just so tired.
#im really glad i found queerstake because i definitely would have left the church by now if not#i can't believe i went that long without any kind of community#i just guessed that there were other people like me because i couldn't possibly be the only one#but i hadnt met anyone yet who was queer a member and was planning to stay and i just felt so alone in this#i was actually on the verge of leaving and giving up when i stumbled across a post#i dont even know how it could have possibly crossed my path it was so random i really think god put it there because there is no way#especially in the moment i needed it that badly#it was just a part of a liveblog from a general conference that was especially rough on me and i saw the queerstake tag#because like. i dont want to leave. why should i have to i like it here i dont want to leave just because people dont want me here#and i just really want to be there and hopefully be fully out one day so that queer kids in the church can see me and know they aren't alon#but there are times when im just so bleh and tired and sad#vent#tw vent#queerstake
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If she was raised in the church. I keep thinking about that. How different would that have gone down, would sothis have awakened earlier? Would rhea have brainwashed her? Would jeralt still be a part of her life?
FE3H (c) Nintendo
Art: Me
#fire emblem three houses#fe3h#byleth eisner#female byleth#raised by the church au#i guess#myart#just did the mage outfit real quick#would she be meeker?#would she have discovered her knack for magic earlier and skipped swordmanship?#would rhea have forced her to take sword lessons? to anticipate the sword of the creator#would jeralt feel more and more alienated?#going on longer lasting missions#leaving her alone more#would rhea initiate her to her purpose earlier? or keep her in the dark still?#so many thinkies
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There comes a moment, a few years forward. Precision of memory fails. The exact cadence of their voice, light of their eyes, the way they made their tea. You catch yourself in the midst of a story; you don’t know the next words. They’re not here to ask. Immortalised in grief, they are myth and memory.
#my dad is memory and myth#aren’t parents always#then one dies when you’re a kid and you understand why stories are told generation after generation until words blur and the truth is a wish#parents are gods when you’re 4#the biggest strongest bravest wisest#and sometimes they scare you#and sometimes their death leaves you alone in a church#the body is cold and the sky is too in December#and it’s not god you’re looking to for answers#it is December and the sun is gone#I wish you were here#I love you always#grief
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guys i’m tired and away to go sleepies so here’s a cutie patootie, drooling ty for a good night’s sleep <3
art: @cassandrajean
#not @ him sleeping with the sherlock holmes book#(im telling myself it’s the one he got from kit leave me alone)#i love the little details in this#like church peeking in the back#and the little bee :'))#and the mp3 is adorkable🥹#he looks like he slept well *weeps*#ty blackthorn#sherlock holmes#the dark artifices#the wicked powers#tda#twp#tsc
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You got to wake up. because if you don't, then trying to keep that dream alive will destroy you! It'll destroy everything!
Supernatural S8E08 Hunteri Heroici ( + S8E06 Southern Comfort )
#sam winchester#spn 8x08#spn 8x06#s8#gifs#I wish they had actually shown how Sam dealt with his grief after s7#but it's not that hard to understand why he didn't try harder to find Dean#It was just too much for him. He was left all alone in the world#Bobby was already dead at that point#Dean and Cas disappeared before his eyes (he probably thought they were dead. certainly didn't know they were in purgatory)#and the king of hell took Kevin#Isn't it obvious why he was running from all of it and trying to hold on to something? it was too much for anyone to go through alone#I'm saying it wasn't the best thing to do but totally understandable#(and what's so criminal about trying to make his life less miserable anyway??)#the sad thing is almost every choice he made while running from the burden of reality turned into messes#He had to leave the woman he loves and now his brother trusts a vampire over him#All of that piled up and weighed down on him#It made him question his self-worth#And that insecurity led him to the church in the season finale (not to mention the whole “I'm not clean” thing)#and even after s8... oh I can't do this rn. I'm sad again
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ok but for real tho does anyone know how to actually get all your records removed from the mormon church? bc if you've ever been to one you'll know how actually creepy they are. someone will have visited the church ONCE three years ago and they'll somehow have the persons address and be discussing ways to get them to come back
#i'm worried officially leaving will have to involve. going to the church and sitting down in the bishop's office and having a Long Talk#...i don't want to even SEE a church building again let alone GO INSIDE and TALK#THAT IS NOT HEALTHY FOR ME#i've been not a member for years but you'll never get anywhere near freedom if they still have your records...#and it doesn't help that my mom signed me up for a few of their website things and gave them my email a few years ago AGAINST MY WILL!!!#unityrain.txt#anti mormonism#ex mormonism#ex mormon#anti mormon
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Some characters: Rhea is so bad, if you're not a devout believer, she's going to kill you! Meanwhile...
#fe3h#few3h#fe16#rhea#church of seiros#remember that support with Catherine where Rhea told her to bloody leave people who don't want to convert alone?#remember how the Church helps Duscur despite them not giving a fuck about the CoS?#or Shamir in general?#no...?
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scrolling past the church's burgers au on my google drive like
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eating glass listening to liability haunting my house like a ghost until the loneliness devours me and I drown in it like a still lake
#samantha.txt#I am stranded without friends and without opportunities to make them#something about me is fun to watch but never to touch or something like that#I will soon be tearing the wallpaper off to free the woman inside in the hopes she gets the life I wanted#I’m fine in a group (no one wants me) and I’m fine with another couple (no one wants me) but no one can bear me without a buffer#too much#too much too much too much!#but I can’t learn and I can’t turn it off and I will live my life alone and my children will laugh at the fact the I only leave the house#to buy groceries and go to church#and no one calls and no one visits and I will age this way because tHERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME
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is this an unpopular opinion. i dont really like the way the manga is interpretating aubrey
#omori#omori manga#omori aubrey#talkin#it paints her sm more vengeful? angry? and more like an outright bully#bc the specific thing abt aubrey is that she wants desperately to move on. shes got new friends new hair new look etc#but shes a contrwriction bc she still very clearly clings on to her past despite how she tries to sever herself from it#contradiction**#but the manga feels so much more like shes going out of her way to harm basil and sunny#even tho kim was the one who pushed basil first in the initial confrontation? bc she thinks basil is a creep?#(fair mindset btw bc she only knows basil as an exfriend who continuously in her mind bothers her best friend)#like idk in the manga she says she wont forgive sunny and basil and tries to attack them#but in the game she insists they leave her alone and states again and again that kel doesnt know whats going on#bc obviously to her- him and the others never cared abt her and left her#and kel is the one who keeps pushiny and pushing until the church fight#see the manga interpretation also takes off sm blame from kel???#honestly idek. it js feels like the omori fandom interpretation affected manga aubrey. misogyny strikes again
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Re about Faerghus and growing stuff :
We have the Nordsalat, being described as :
A magical vegetable that grows in frigid, unyielding environments. Cook into a dish that boosts charm.
In the JP version though, it's "magically" bred to grow in cold regions - so bar reigniting another round of "FoDlAn Is BaCkWaRdS" bcs even if no canons they can use magic to make things grow up in the tundra - this made me think of the AG mention, where apparently some members of the CoS are going to Galatea at the invitation of the count :
Recently, several of the church's scholars headed to Galatea territory, I believe at the invitation of the count. Galatea's evidently an impoverished place, devoid of anything but wild wastes. I guess they're working on some kind of reclamation project. In any event, I'm glad that both us and them are gonna be helping the people of the Kingdom.
Could it be that the "reclamation project" they're working on is sharing the, idk, "magic formula" to make nordsalat grow in Galatea?
The jp text for tomatoes mentions how it can only grow in greenhouses in the Monastery, and we know GM's greenhouse is somehow, powered bymagic. So maybe the CoS members are trying to teach to the Galatea peeps how to make magical greenhouses, or use magic to make plants grow?
Tl;Dr : Church BaD because they didn't share their magic(tech?) that make vegetables grow in poor soils and only do so when they are invited to :(
#random stuff#who needs canons on boats when you can make things grow in snow??#i completely missed the part when count Galatea was the one who invited the CoS to his lands to talk about farming#maybe if some asses leave Faerghus alone the magical academy can help with agriculture?#imagine if the CoS thought the Western Church was supposed/should have been in charge of helping the people of Galatea to grow some plants#but they prefered to listen to Cleobulus's words instead and pillage Seteth's wife's tomb...#FE16
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On Pat's Maturity
Earlier this week I wrote about Jeng and mentioned Pat’s maturity and I thought why not write about it a little bit while I have some time this morning. I have no idea how long or short this will be and I haven’t thought about it since writing my Jeng post so let’s see what happens.
I genuinely think that Pat is the most mature character on the show (well except Chot, but no one holds a candle to his maturity and honestly his guidance is probably why Pat is so mature now). At the beginning of the show, Pat was a new employee, didn’t know how to tell people no, was overworked, underappreciated, in the closet, and had a hard time regulating his emotions.
We can credit Jeng for some of Pat’s growth and maturity, but honestly, it was mostly Chot that showed Pat how to calmly and maturely approach any issues he might have in life. Chot was always there for Pat to go to for advice and Chot was the one character that Pat also knew was queer. Yay queer friendships! Oh boy I got off topic. Okay. So let’s break this down into two parts. Pat’s maturity at work and his maturity in his relationships.
Work:
Pat started as someone who was a hard worker, but didn’t necessarily know the basics of his job. He also had no problem calling out Ying when she threw him under the bus. And Pat’s ability to stand up for himself is probably what led him to be able to have the kind of growth that he’s had. Should he have thrown Ying under the bus like that? I’ve thought about it and I don’t think so. He absolutely should have alerted management to the issues going on, but there is a time and place for everything and that was not the time nor the place. But he was young and stressed and taken advantage of. This is Pat’s first office job and he genuinely did not know better. He had no idea how to handle that situation.
Now, Pat was successfully able to lead a campaign and despite what Chris’ mother said and did, he didn’t say anything. Pat learned that there was a time and place and also that he would need to calm down before saying anything. So when he was able to, he removed himself from the situation and gave himself the time and space to calm down. He then let Jeng and Jaab handle the issue. Jeng was in a position of power so it wasn’t just that he knew what to say and how to say it, but it was that he was in a position where his words held weight and he had the power to use those words. (It is still my favorite scene in the series and I did my best to gif it)
It’s not just that Pat was taught these lessons but that he was open to learning them. Do you know how many young people in their first office job aren’t receptive to learning because they think they know everything already? Just the mere willingness to learn and improve shows extraordinary maturity from Pat and I love him dearly for it. (This is not to say that all young people act like they know everything at first, just some and it’s annoying).
But how does Pat handle being harassed at work? I’m so glad you asked. Pat was basically forced to out himself or participate in a disgusting conversation that he did not want to be a part of. Pat chose to out himself and in the process got harassed. I’m going to say that I’m an advocate for throwing hands at harassers but that might not be the most mature way to handle it. Pat then let Jeng handle the situation and didn’t argue with Jeng’s decision. I think this really helped Pat have the backbone to say no in his personal relationships. Just knowing that there is one person in the world who will have your back makes it easier to handle the things that Pat handled with grace and maturity.
Relationships:
Kong - Pat was so excited to see his old friend. He thought maybe a spark would be there. Pat was searching for any sort of relationship outside of the potentially problematic feelings he had for Jeng. So when Kong was in town, Pat was delighted. He got ready, he let Chot do his hair, he was a young man ready to go meet people. Then Kong had to cancel and of course Pat was upset, but at no point did he blame Kong for canceling. This left the door open for Pat to see Kon later. When it turned out that Kong was trying to get Pat to join his MLM (ha), Pat finally, after some advice, firmly told him no. He also told Kong that he had crossed boundaries and he wasn’t okay with that. Early on, we see Pat establishing strict boundaries that he will not let people cross. Do you know how amazing it is to see such strong boundaries in a BL? And it’s coming from the youngest character.
Put - Oh Put. Oh darling, stupid Put. He is the least mature of Pat’s love interests. That probably worked fine before Pat grew up and started looking for an adult relationship. Put wasn’t able to effectively communicate with Pat. Whenever Pat tried to discuss anything even remotely serious, Put retreated behind a plushie to try to convince Pat that they were good and in love and Put was never able to face the issues they had. Pat wanted someone who was present and who would listen and Put wasn’t able to do any of those things. So Pat ended it in one of the most mature break up scenes I’ve ever witnessed.
Pat didn’t let his relationship with Put drag on. He wanted them to work but as soon as he realized that they wouldn’t work, he ended it.
Jeng - I think I mentioned in my earlier post that when Jeng and Pat start dating, Jeng basically turns into a teenager in love. Pat is the one in the relationship trying to make sure that they aren’t crossing any lines. And then when Pat starts facing harassment in the workplace again, he tries to go to Jeng, who is his boyfriend, yes, but is also his boss. Jeng approached that issue as strictly Pat’s boyfriend who was scared of the implications that acknowledging those rumors would have for their relationship. Pat approached that issue as Jeng’s boyfriend who wanted to face the issues together. He also knows Jeng is his boss and has helped him when being harassed before. So when Jeng tries to ignore the problem and not talk about it, Pat does the best thing he can do in that situation. He leaves. He had already left one relationship where he wasn’t listened to and communication was hard. Of course he leaves another when any and all attempts and communicating a very real issue that is affecting him in a very negative way is ignored in favor of a makeout session, attempted hand job, and then cuddling.
When Jeng says this, what Pat hears is that his concerns are not being taken seriously. Because Pat right now isn’t happy. He loves Jeng, but he loves himself too. And it is incredibly mature of him to remove himself from the toxic workplace instead of letting himself get harassed and then letting the harassment get ignored. If Pat stayed, all of that toxicity and harassment would fester and he would internalize it and Pat has already learned that he is allowed to say no. He’s allowed to have boundaries even at work. So he leaves.
I honestly think that leaving was the best thing Pat could have done for his and Jeng’s relationship. Not only did it stop him from internalizing things and potentially lashing out at Jeng because of it, but it served as a much needed wake up call for Jeng. Who needed to remember that at work, he is not Pat’s boyfriend, he is Pat’s boss. He was so lost in the new relationship and his love for Pat that he forgot about all of his duties and responsibilities outside of Pat. Relationships are about the people that are in them. But the world still exists outside of the relationship. Pat was forcibly reminded of that by his coworkers bullying him. Jeng was forcibly reminded of that by Pat leaving. Jeng is about to have to face the world alone, without Pat there to tell him where he fucked up. And honestly? Jeng was probably relying on Pat too much for that as well. Jeng tried to change but he tried to change for Pat meanwhile when Pat changed, he did it for himself.
This ended up longer than I expected. I’m tagging @magpie24601 since you mentioned you wanted to see a post about Pat’s maturity.
#step by step#step by step the series#step by step bl#this is what happens when i visit my parents and they leave me alone to go to church#i write about bl boys#and i'm dead tired because my one coworker got me addicted to caffeine again and the only caffeine in this house#is the god awful coffee that my dad makes#anyway do i know what i said in this post?#nope now idea i have no clue#i blacked out and wrote it and i refuse to read it#have fun#i wanted to include more screenshots but i am too tired to go looking#i'm gonna go hunt for some caffeine now wish me luck
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rip remus lupin you would’ve loved hozier
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I may have said somethings in the past that I regret, and that it doesn’t really align with my religious beliefs as of now, so if you could please just.. ignore any encouragement to this ship that I previously had that would be really helpful.
no offense anon but get a life LOL
#asks#sorry if this is too mean but like#what does leaving this anonymously in my inbox do😭#take your guilt complex to church and get off my blog#antis just leave proshippers alone! it’s so easy!
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