#leave society for so long
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a glass sun 1/2
#my art#my stuff#this is really fucking long so im gonna have to break it up into multiple reblogs#(howling) WAUGHHHHHHH#i love aishang by xiaoshiguniang#i love to implicate my alma mater in my art about being gay in the shittiest most conservative corner of singaporean society#by some terrible trick of fate i ended up in the conservative chinese christian cishet circuit from primary school to end of hs#obviously i am not most of these things but there i was. Depressed#and there i was after that at Liberal Arts College. the 4 years i spent there were a clusterfuck#but like a good and outrageous and lively clusterfuck#and i graduated in may this year and when i came back it was for the first time in 10 months. it was like. what da hell#like i love being here in specific ways but there is also the pain of being seen as something you're not constantly#can i blame them? i ask myself this every day. for most of my ex classmates and relatives i Am the only not cis person they know#idk my lottery number was bad this corner of society really is that bad#and so its like. idk dawg anyway i aint offering solutions but u get it like it fucks with your head to be misgendered either which way 24/#but to leave them behind would be to leave the only people who knew me for the first 19 years behind. and thats a lot of my life#i am 23!!!!!! ough#anyway. whatever. if u liked it i have a ko-fi#reblogos appreciated
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Patience and responsibility....that's a promise....right?
Part 27 First || Previous || Next
--Full Series--
An exorcism? In my family-friendly Deltarune? It's more likely than you may think. The backgrounds here were very interesting! Much more complex than how I usually do them (especially that computer).
Player POV:
Feral energy.
#Syke! Chara has no idea how to do sh*t with Exorcisms#in a society where it's literally seen as a blessing of some kind. It is seen as unethical! Your hurting the silly little guy :(#Why is Azzy so hesitant with this festival??#WHAT THE HECK IS THE ANGELS LANDING DAY??? Azzy get over here-#without a soul?.....I dont know any creatures like that....plants maybe?#That is totally a knock off Mario cart and not a png I found online. DO NOT LOOK INTO THIS#Salt!? owo hehehe#I was very iffy on how much light I wanted here. I kept layering the darkness lmaoo. They kept the lights low in case Toriel woke up.#can you spot the everyman? ;)#hmm your not supposed to be able to read the computer....but I may make an update so people can actually see it?? I hate to leave it grainy#but im a little tired so thats maybe for tomorrow!#thank you all again for waiting so long!#deltarune chara timeline#deltarune chara timeline comic#bread#art#my art#chara#asriel#kris#susie
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Not to sound like everyone and anyone but MAN the pandemic really took everything from me
#I have tried so many times to reverse it but it’s an uphill battle and I just don’t have the willpower#I used to be able to make effort to have friends I used to take care of myself#and honestly this started when I graduated college but the pandemic nailed it in I could’ve pulled myself together if I didn’t have to#leave society for so long#like truly. truly my anxiety ruined my life in a way I’m still trying to recover from#and I wouldn’t have had such a setback with it if the pandemic didn’t happen#the ONLY good thing is that I found a job I like but even that right now is starting to crumble#I’m work nearly 50 hour weeks#life is just HARDDDDDD ok and I’m not very good at basic human actions and systems#mine
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Jasmine Al Ghul
A while ago the perfect assassin was born, she was Talia's daughter but Ra didn't like the rebellious look in her eyes, they were claiming for destruction and he knew that she would do nothing but destroy the League as soon as she could.
So he rejected her as the heir, something Jazz grew to resent. When the twins Danyal and Damian were born, one was clearly weaker than the other, considering that he was born without breathing and was only saved at the last second.
This made Ra make his decision: Damian would be the heir and Danyal his shadow. But Danyal wasn't interested in killing, no matter how much he was punished for refusing, he wanted to see, to explore, to learn. Everyone could see it.
Because Damian was spending more time on heir training, Jazz devoted herself to taking care of Danyal. She tried to teach him but the boy kept refusing, failing over and over again in the most simply things, Jazz hated him.
Until she stopped hating and became fond of him, feeling a kinship because of their grandfather's rejection. Danny taught Jazz things she had never considered (love, stars, a new interest far away from training, find the meaning of life simply by living) and she made her decision: she would save the boy.
Jazz escaped with Maddie Fenton (one of Talia's students) seeing she wantes to save them too and could pass as their mother, she took Danny with her. She couldn't leave him in that place, she wouldn't forgive herself.
Of course, Damian grew to resent his younger twin for taking their sister away. Blaming him for being weak, why did Jazz leave him behind? He could be a good little brother too, he was better than Danyal! In everything!
#dp x dc#dc x dp#dpxdc#jazz fenton#Danny and Damian are twins#but Jazz is their older sister#Ra didn't like her#She didn't hate Damian but never interacted too much with him#he was busy with extra lessons and stuff#of course she realized she leave him behind long before after she left#The reason she is so interested in psychology is because she wants to fit in society#and help Danny fit too#Jasmine Al Gul#Talia don't have a mother relationship with Jazz because she is too similar to her#Talia does like the twins because they are similar to Bruce tho#Maddie was Talia's student#She wanted to leave the League and live with Jack#league of assassins#Damian is resentful toward his younger brother#He doesn't understand why Jazz took Danyal and left him behind
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truly truly Neil Charlie Todd triumvirate is king please share any thoughts you have on them
OH BOY ANON YOU HAVE OPENED A CAN OF WORMS.
I. OPENING THESIS?
Basically, here’s my abstract for this whole thing:
(Les Misérables, trans. Isabel F. Hapgood)
And having put this down, I’ll ask you to overlook it, lol. Or treat it as a very loose guide! (If you haven’t any idea what the context of this refers to, here’s a quick rundown: a chief is a leader and someone who people rally behind. A guide is an enthusiast about all things and an advocate for progress, someone who checks the rampant idealism of the chief. The centre is warm, loyal, and acts almost as a mini-Sun for the chief and guide to orbit around, to stop them shooting off on their own wild trajectories.) In the interest of complete transparency, reading Les Mis at a young age had this irreparable effect on me where I now have to think of every triumvirate as a chief/guide/centre dynamic, but I don’t think this model applies 1:1 towards Neil/Charlie/Todd. Instead, I think of them a little as composites, interplaying with each other – Charlie as a guide who would much rather be a chief, Neil as a chief who works better as a guide, and Todd as a centre who’s never given the grace to grow into that role. Let’s go!
II. CHARLIE AS THE CHIEF-GUIDE
Charlie is like if rowdiness was a Guy. He’s big, he’s brash, he’s the instigator and he’s the captain and he’s the shameless one and he’s a side character! I have always found this very interesting whenever I watch DPS; despite Charlie’s main character-ness he is secondary, and doesn’t even get his own sideplot in the same way that Knox (for example) does. He’s a born leader who by virtue of the trappings of his story is relegated to supporting others, although you can so, so clearly see him fighting for space in the story. He gets pushed into being a guide almost by default; only the trait of enthusiasm really applies here. If Neil wasn’t there he’d be the leader of their group, no question. And the thing about Charlie is that he gets things done. He’s the one pushing the most for the re-creation of the Dead Poets Society after Neil, he’s caustic about things that are in his way (“Well, why don’t you stay home?”), people follow him! See Knox running after him, asking to be taught:
Charlie is the man of action – the telephone stunt is the biggest incident of that. And the way the boys gather around him afterwards as he regales them is chief-like; here he is acting as the chief, because this is around the same time that Neil’s chief role starts to slip away from him. But more of that later.
The big thing is that Charlie never gets to really assume that role of chief, because Neil is always there. I talked earlier about how he pushes for the re-creation of the Society; well, Neil is the one who finds Keating’s old annual and reads it aloud to them. Charlie is the one cutting down the guys’ concerns about sneaking out after school: Neil is the one who suggests it – more than suggests it! Almost commands it, in a way that leaves little room for debate:
(Note that in this section, it’s Charlie who does the arguing for Neil, who doesn’t speak except to lay down the law and then ask who’s coming. Real king and knight energy.)
Charlie never quite manages to edge into centre stage. You can sort of see how there might be resentment there – perhaps there would have been if they had gone on uninterrupted. But then of course Neil dies, and Charlie assumes the chief role by default, but it’s no longer glorious or something he can covet. But he does it anyway; he wakes up Todd, he breaks the news to him, very, very gently, he wipes Todd’s mouth with snow when he vomits and tells the others to leave him alone. But by this point, Charlie going into the chief role he’s so good at isn’t enough to stop the splintering of their group or his own expulsion.
III. NEIL AS THE GUIDE-CHIEF
Part of Neil’s tragedy is that he would be good at the things his father wants him to do! He’s a wonderful all-rounder, he's the perfect all-American specimen, there’s no doubt in my mind he would have been a great doctor – except he wouldn’t, because the enthusiasm and the motivation would have been lacking entirely. (As someone who just did a shit ton of medical school interviews, yeah, they would have sniffed this guy out really fast. Or maybe they wouldn't… not sure how stringent they were in the ‘50s.) He would have been technically great. But being able to do something doesn’t mean you should; these are the things that Mr. Perry conflates and which Neil is never able to verbalise to him, except in a way in which he thinks he’ll understand:
In this scene, when he talks to him post-performance it’s not “I enjoyed it”, but a very simple, “I was really good”. And despite this concession of terms he says it when his father can't hear, because he knows he would never relent, oh God.
Actually, a lot of what I wanted to say about Neil has already been said in Charlie’s section. (The summary is basically that you must imagine me offstage with a megaphone as the movie plays, yelling, “YOU TWO NEED TO SWITCH PLACES, FUCKOS”.) Neil is a good leader, but that doesn’t mean he likes being one, or that he should be one! He has a few characteristics of a guide – he’s enthusiastic about everything, he has this boundless kind of delight in the things he loves (not idealism; that’s slightly different). But this is honestly where the model falls apart. I don’t think that Neil would make a great guide either, logic not being his forte; the irony is that the role of the triumvirate he most fits IS the chief, it’s just that that’s what kills him. The responsibility that comes with being someone who “speaks and people listen” isn’t good for him – this dichotomy of having “control” over the friendship group/no control over his personal life is terrible. He does get to lose the chief role, but it’s not in a way that is good for him; instead this manifests in a loss of control that happens very very quickly, which just makes him reach for ways in which he can control his own life. And besides, stepping outside of a leadership role with a great deal of responsibility and losing control over the course of your own life are two very different things. I just think that he should get to go offstage for a little bit and rest, with zero expectations on him ever. (Also there’s something here about how he gets to play Puck – a side character who has major effects on the story but doesn’t have to actually put his skin in the game. This is what I think Neil should get to do In Real Life.)
IV. TODD AS THE PROTO-CENTRE
One thing about Todd is that in my mind, I always imagine him as much redder than he actually is in the movie. I don’t mean I imagine him to blush more often – I mean ruddier, more flushed. Going back to the Les Mis quote – in my mind he does “possess all the qualities of a centre, roundness and radiance”! Todd is a catalyst like Keating in a way that Keating isn’t; this is never explicit at all but he has always felt to me like someone who inspires others by their presence. He’s such a wonderful, calming, grounding influence. Even when he talks to Neil and they have that non-argument he tempers Neil and reminds him what’s at stake without looking down on him. And when he realises how serious he is, he goes with it and supports him to the best of his ability – he says “Oh, Neil, Neil, you’re crazy” but it’s fond, he’s overjoyed for him. And you can see similar behaviour perhaps to a lesser extent with Charlie in the way particularly he calls him Nuwanda after his request, which is taken as ridiculous by other characters:
And even after Neil’s death he does so, refusing to go back to normal:
But the reason I’ve put “proto-” for a prefix is because these are all singular occasions. The thing is that I think Todd could be that brilliant, grounding, assured man, a lighthouse of a man, almost. But he isn’t – he clearly isn’t – at the beginning of the movie he is shy and diffident and the non-argument I mentioned early does go a little sour, because while he speaks from a place of concern and love, his anxiety manifests in the conversation and makes him a little less tactful than he might have been otherwise. If things had gone on better than they went, and if Todd had been allowed to grow and develop more and without worry, he really, really would have blossomed into this kind of centre, this very steady man who would have reminded Neil of the consequences of his actions and made Charlie care about the consequences of his. But he doesn’t get to do that – by the time he grows and becomes more confident it’s too late, the worst has already happened.
V. SUMMARY
I’m so sorry, anon, this is a prodigious answer to what was a very simple ask, but you hit on the subject I have Very Strong Feelings About. Not to toot my own fanfic horn, but there’s an excerpt from the fair folk AU which I think sums this up pretty well:
TL;DR: Charlie gets pushed into a secondary position which doesn’t suit him; Neil gets pushed into a leadership position which suits him, but he hates; Todd is willing to step into that secondary position as a behind-the-scenes supporter, but never actually gets that opportunity. Hence the tragedy. Hence the taking of lives. Hence how many fucking tears I have shed over this movie, Jesus.
(I had a lot of fun writing this – thank you for giving me a reason to!)
#anon oh my god i'm like. brewing some tea for you right now and sitting you down. thank you so much for asking the question#and giving me an excuse to word-vomit for a while#ask#dead poets society#dps#charlie dalton#neil perry#todd anderson#dps fandom#dead poets fandom#also: neither here nor there but i have a pet headcanon where the triumvirate rent a flat together after uni#and each have their own studies with todd's in the middle#the walls are very thin so that sometimes neil and charlie will have solid long arguments through them#and sometimes todd will interject and/or mediate#god i love him#if the argument gets heated neil or charlie will actually go into todd's room to yell through the wall closer#instead of leaving him alone. he finds this all intensely amusing#tristan writes
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me when character a helps character b come out of their shell in one way or another but then character a fucking dies, so when character b shows a major development that character a helped them reach character a isn’t around to see it
#TODD STANDING ON THE DESK.#i don’t think that scene will ever leave my mind#dead poets society#dps#anderperry#neil perry#todd anderson#roe bandaging babe’s hand with renée’s headscarf..#AND THEN HIM CALLING BABE BY HIS NICKNAME#AND THE LIGHT COMING IN !!#actually i think renée impacted roe in so many ways#but that’s a discussion for another day#renée lemaire#eugene roe#band of brothers#casey’s hbowar ramblings#with a side of my long lost friend dps
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people really do not know what they're talking about when it comes to Elizabeth Woodville's social status, huh?
#yes Elizabeth was without a doubt considered too low-born to be queen#no she was not a commoner and nobody actually called her that during her life (so I'm not sure why people are claiming that they did?)#Elizabeth's social status was not a problem in itself; it was a problem in the context of queenship and marrying into royalty#Context is important in this and for literally everything else when it comes to analyzing history. Any discussion is worthless without it.#obviously pop culture-esque articles claiming that she was 'a commoner who captured the king's heart' are wrong; she wasn't#But emphasizing that ACTUALLY she was part of the gentry with a well-born mother and just leaving it at that as some sort of “GOTCHA!”#is equally if not more irresponsible and entirely irrelevant to discussions of the actual time period we're studying.#Elizabeth *was* considered unworthy and unacceptable as queen precisely because of her lower social status#her father and brother had literally been derided as social-climbers by Salisbury Warwick and Edward himself just a few years earlier#the Woodvilles' marriage prospects clearly reflected their status (and 'place') in society: EW herself had first married a knight and all#siblings married within the gentry to people of a similar status. compare that to the prestigious marriages arranged after EW became queen#Elizabeth having a lower social status was not 'created' by propaganda against her; it fueled and shaped propaganda against her#that's a huge huge difference; it's irresponsible and silly to conflate the two as I've seen a recent tumblr post cavalierly do#like I said she was considered too low-born to be queen long before any of the propaganda Warwick Clarence or Richard put out against her#and the fact that Elizabeth was targeted on the basis of her social status was in itself novel and unprecedented#no queen before her was ever targeted in such a manner; Clearly Elizabeth was considered notably 'different' in that regard#(and was quite literally framed as the enemy and destroyer of 'the old royal blood of this realm' and all its actual 'inheritors' like..)#ngl this sort of discussion always leaves a bad taste in my mouth#because it's not like England and France (et all) are at war or consider each other mortal enemies in the 21st century#both are in fact western european imperialistic nations who've been nothing but a blight to the rest of the world including my own country#yet academic historians clearly have no problem contextualizing the xenophobia that medieval foreign queens faced as products of their time#and sympathizing with them accordingly (Eleanor of Provence; Joan of Navarre; Margaret of Anjou; etc)(at least by their own historians)#Nor were foreign queens the “worst” targets of xenophobia: that was their attendants or in times of war commoners or soldiers#who actually had to bear the brunt of English aggression#queens were ultimately protected and guaranteed at least a veneer of dignity and respect because of their royal status#yet once again historians and people have no problem contextualizing and understanding their difficulties regardless of all this#so what is the problem with contextualizing the classism *Elizabeth* faced and understanding *her* difficulties?#why is the prejudice against her constantly diminished & downplayed? (Ive never even seen any historian directly refer to it as 'classism')#after all it was *Elizabeth* who was more vulnerable than any queen before her due to her lack of powerful foreign or national support#and Elizabeth who faced a form of propaganda distinctly unprecedented for queens. it SHOULD be emphasized more.
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not-yet-dead-person
silly comic of a conversation in-game i thought was too funny not to make something proper for instead of a doodle ww
(timelapse + wip images (thus silly process commentary in read more if you like artist commentary :3)
i think the sketch looks silly and goofy and funny so i find it important to share with you the mere presence of the faces i drew on it. i drew it on top of the boxes without staying inside its borders because i find my proportions can get wonky if i draw them cropped in a restricted space. and I feel trapped otherwise and i will draw BAD!!! give me spaceeeee to go wild!!!!
the head circles are there for emotional support
very low res speedpaint because truth is the canvas was much bigger than the space where my comic was placed. i didnt account when exporting my timelapse in 720px that that tiny space would look so pixelated ... but it's able to be percieved, so its okay.
(i will now comment on my process and it is not brief sorry)
usually i would try to clean up my sketches and figure out what goes on top before jumping into linework, but since there are multiple panels and drawings i chose to jump into inking right away for the sake of brevity. i just went in with a brush that uses pen pressure and drew what was needed. i added extra line thickness and contrast in areas around the face because it helps direct your eyes there more easily that way.
according to her equipment rei has a chain belt but i only remembered it existed once I was going to color, and i did not like that discovery... I chose to ignore it to maintain my peace. i already have the color palettes for these characters figured out, and i didnt really want to think about a new element at the moment www I tend to overthink those things a lot so i skipped it
the rest is rather straightforward! not that anything else wasn't, but in here i could turn my brain off and sing. linework and sketching require mumbling so i cannot turn my brain off. just block in the characters with a solid color so i can have a mask (something along those lines,) where the color can stay inside. then just color in !!!
Base colors just had slight cell shading on the skin, and for the hair i airbrush a bit of the skincolor in low opacity near the forehead... I'm not sure what it means, but i can look at the faces easier with it somehow. i like the gentle subtlety it adds even if you cant really tell. it makes things look nice.
background was just me blocking in the color of the wall and floor, shade the wall a bit, then slap a noise and free use wood texture on top. work smarter not harder ! yet it took a bit to make it look stylistically fitting with the characters, and even now i think bottom middle panel looks odd. whatever!!!
for the middle panel i thought itd be funny if the background was a solid silly and colorful one to contrast the next panel's sketchy black one. a contrast to how the word widow is seen. on that note my handwritting is not pointy. i gaslighted my hand into thinking that it was indeed pointy in that moment so i could write "not-yet dead person" in letters that didn't seem cute. my hand did not fall for it but it complied anyway
that's basically it! I'm not sure what else i could say that doesn't feel barebones because it really is that straightforward. if you're curious I used clip studio paint for this. only special brush used was for linework (a brush named Lemon Brush), the rest used were just the default. my computer gets the least credit. it was trying to convince me a 20mb file was going to nuke it all the time and hardly let me save multiple times so i do not appreciate it
#re:kinder#fanart#sayaka re:kinder#rei re:kinder#OH I ALREADY RAMBLED IN MY POST WHATEVER SHOULD I TALK ABOUT NOW IN MY TAGS UEEEEEEE😭😭😭#oh yeah do you want to know a fun fact about this drawing#i started it yesterday. i wasnt meant to I DID NOT HAVE PERMISSION...FROM MYSELF... i was meant to be on break#i self imposed a one week break from doing any rekinder related project after the transcript to avoid accidental burn out#NOT THAT I GOT TIRED OF IT AFTER THAT TRANSCRIPT NOT AT ALL#but jumping straight into more hours of creativr work after over 30 hours of it is asking for disaster. it is asking for burn out#yesterday was the last day . 12 hours were left but i was going to die if i didnt draw anything it would have been OVER#(aka my period started recently so i got very gloomy and depressed so i needed to run to my favorite stress relief...drawing rekinder☺️)#(on that note seriously what the fuck please explain the evolutionary advantage to getting horribly depressed every month)#(like hello?!?! rant real quick— i get enough flashbacks everyday i DONT need them to last longer and have me more msierable ?!?!?)#(periods are so dangerous to my mental health for no reason can i get a restriction order on them or some shit what the fuck)#(anyway thats enough of that break of character DONEEEE :3333)#SO YEAH I DIDNT EVEN LAST 7 WHOLE DAYS i even played a new game in between those 6 days youd think itd het my mind of rekinder. WRONNNNGGG#not even another devastating rpg horror gamr could divert my attention for long i hsd to draw rekinder😊#using the newfound power of mt transcript i was decided on drawing rei because i dont draw her enough for how high she is on my fvaorites#i was initially doodling random lines but then i stumbled upon this interactkon and it doesnt really fit into my usual expression sheets#so i thought hey lets do it asife#i thumbnailrd it and from there i was like hey lets do it in comic format isntead of separated messy doodles in tint canvas#and the rest is hisotry .... aka i spent the last two days doing this instead of doing MY HOMEWORK!!!!!#on my defense when i wasnt drawing i was horribly depressed i had no other choice#(seriously fuck off periods WHAT what do you mean i need to be distracted 24/7 to not be struck by crippling meltdowns LEAVE ME ALONE?!?!?)#(they should be banned we as a society should find like a . cure to them it dont do me good to have a whole week where i cant function)#these tags have been more of a weird rant im sorry IVE BEEN FEELING PEEEVEDDD LATELY SO YOU GET. STRANGE DROTTER LORE ????
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why do you think the marauders fandom is like so afraid of making women be masculine
no joke i just think people hate masculine women ! the only people ive ever met who are into butch women are either other lesbians or queer people who genuinely have put in the work to distance themselves from male validation
butch/masculine women or dykes are seen are disgusting for their hairy bodies and no make-up whereas a mans lean body and androgony will simply make him ’hot’ and ’daring’ and ’omg he’s crushing the gender norms!!!!’ <- which is honestly almost never true lmao
anyway. women who don’t shave or don’t wear makeup or are masculine are seen as lazy or ugly ! and women are terrfied of being ugly. im butch and im terrified of being ugly. there’s almost no space for butch women outside of lesbian circles, but feminine men are still relatable and seen as accessible and can still fit in with all genders! people will always love femininity, and honestly almost even more when it’s men doing it because there’s only one thing a patriarchal society loves more than a feminine woman….. men…
#women are already secondary in society#and so if they’re not hot anymore/subscribing to patriarchal beauty standards. then they’re just not relatable anymore#and butch women will never be able to relate to masculine men#so where does that leave us#very lonely except for in lesbian circles or with people who have broken free from the patriarchal choke hold#like butch/femme couples very much exist obviously#and butch4butch#but what yall mean with ’i want a masc gf’ is a mullet and a tank top#which isn’t really very masc at all and isn’t crushing any gender norms#people (of all genders) genuinely dont tend to play outside of the lines of their assigned gender#and so as long as you’re still within those lines you’ll simply always fit in#it’s unfair and awful and shouldn’t have to be like that#but the individual doesn’t make the rules#bla bla bla patriatchal society and so on and so forth#asks
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time princess players how do y'all picture the MCs of every story
like since every set and piece of official art has a different hair colour, length, and style with every picture of them, and sometimes there's descriptions that don't match the images, which one do you go with
and do you make half of them look like your avatar or have your own designs
#dutp#time princess#when playing/viewing it through the ''story traveler'' lens#i often justify the hair colour changes in-universe by headcanoning that it's story kingdom magic that allows you to change your hair colou#by default i make half the mcs look like (taller versions of) me/my avatar (who's designed after me but with purple eyes) to some extent#but there are exceptions#like if the mc isn't white i'm obviously not gonna base her design off myself#except Maybe giving her my/my avatar's hair length#and if a spinoff shows the mc i'll often use that design#i always pictured zoya blonde until the salvia spinoff story came out and showed her with the light brown hair from that one set#it also described zoya as having black eyes which i went with#i didn't have a locked in eye colour headcanon for her before but i didn't really picture her with eyes that dark#probably because none of the album art gave her black eyes#though eye colours tend to be inconsistent in this game#nastia's described with gray eyes but that one album art gives her blue eyes#and on the flipside charlotte's described with blue eyes in one side story but her model doesn't have blue eyes#nor does at least one album art of her#i give virtually every mc long hair just because most of the hairstyles in those sets require it#i always picture cordelia with dark hair and ocean green-blue eyes#like a vivid teal colour. just fits someone whose name means ''daughter of the sea''#and sometimes i have her stop shaving her legs when she becomes a pirate because a) she lives on a boat#and b) representation of her leaving behind that gilded-cage life of fancy etiquette and ''you must become a perfect wife and mother''#in which she did everything society demanded of her at the expense of her own happiness#like yeah after escaping that i Will make cordelia stop shaving her legs. for the symbolism. and the fact that she lives on a pirate boat.#i always give aurora that pastel-almost-white shiny gradient dyed hair#because a) it's in half the sets b) it looks so so so cool c) it looks great next to the companions i ship her with#matches with novi and gives her a light-dark duality with selene's dark purple hair#idk her natural hair colour but i also give her the creepily pale eyes from Silent Night Rebirth#to match the pastel clothes she's so often in. this is not her natural eye colour either. hey that's p clearly a common thing in this city#i strongly doubt that selene's eyes are naturally that bright blueish purple
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Hey so hot take
Saying "I'm not going to turn into a pedophile by consuming media with pedophilia in it" in the face of "maybe don't go out of your way to consume inherently disturbing material 24/7" is purposely obtuse and you are missing the point.
No, you are not going to turn incestuous by watching Game of Thrones, you want to know why? Because Game of Thrones actively shows why cersei is delusional in the midst of her incestuous relationship with her twin brother. The show actively makes it a point to show other characters clear disgust and adversity to the mere idea and shows the active side effects of her actions. Stop using it as your safety net against the argument "fiction can affect reality."
Fandom, and fiction itself inherently has the goal in mind to make human connection across media, and a lot of the time are passion projects created from the human soul. because of this you can never truly separate the fiction mirrors reality argument. No, you should not be policing your thoughts, but you need to understand where the argument tends to take place and why you need to evaluate why you're feeling attacked.
The prime argument is in the face of things like pro-shipping or pro-fiction and those in FAVOR of incest, fetishizing lolicon, abusive relationships, ECT, people who did NOT know how to separate their fiction from reality. People who actively engage for enjoyment in these specific subjects. There is a fine line between consuming your media in moderation while that media properly depicts the disturbing content versus overindulging in media that tends to glorify or fetishize said disturbing content. To say that this 24/7 consumption will not affect you is either naivety or denial, especially when ppl are prone to things like being an "irl" (people who genuinely believe they are those fictional characters because of the state of psychosis) or those with online 🌽 addictions aligning with dopamine rushes for these fiction dynamics. You also have children on the internet who were groomed into these concepts and don't know any better, so they have a habit of overindulging in these fantasies as well because of the lack of moderation.
This also applies to people who claim it as a coping mechanism, if it is a coping mechanism it has to affect your reality in order to do something for you. Coping mechanisms are built to better your behaviors in the face of trauma. If you are struggling with trauma I promise you the indulgence and problematic media will not help you, in fact it will most likely make it worse by validating the very behavior you suffered from, there are better more effective ways to help you heal from your trauma. And for the love of god, many things like non-con kinks are a completely separate conversation, the way you role play that is most likely for the CONSENT OF HAVING CONTROL and is NOT the same as romanticizing the outright actions. If you do, then it's time to seek therapy in other means to dismantle that within yourself. Stop bringing in the bedroom conversation when it's based off of the consent factor and safe space with your own partner, not the wild fantasy that a character is being 🍇'd- WHICH AGAIN. IS WHO THIS CONSERVATION APPLIES TO AND TARGETS.
If you are a person who reads things like darkship, power Imbalance, or anything that contains these subjects but never romanticizes them THIS CONVERSATION NEVER APPLIED TO YOU and you shouldn't be listening to those who think it does. That is 10 steps further than we needed to go and is 9/10 not a good faith part of the conversation nor is it coming from someone who is fully informed or aware of what they're claim means, exposure is actually a really good thing. In items like Game of Thrones built for mature audiences, the exposure lets us know yeah, it happens, and if you're curious you can learn more about it, children's media largely cannot and should not enter the chat here- as children can handle heavy topics as seen in bluey and be taught right from wrong. But should NEVER contain that type of content. Exposure in and of itself can be a small reality pointer which is good! We need to know about how these things work, and it's important that stories are written that explore these things thoroughly from neutral or personal POVS while being mature about it.
In the same breath, there is a reason we think of pro-shippers and people who tend to fetishize prepubescent anime girls or are into non-non and make their whole internet persona about how much they fantasize about it, that is because the "fiction doesn't affect reality" statement is a safety umbrella for them.
Once more, if you consume your media in moderation without that media romanticizing or otherwise trying to glorify inherently immoral subjects this conversation never applied to you and should never have accused you. No you are not going to suddenly be gay by consuming queer media, absolutely nobody of sane mind has claimed that. If you are not actively promoting dynamics that tend to reflect or represent something that's very harmful to real ppl, again this conversation does not apply to you. It applies to people who do not know how to handle themselves properly, and you trying to make the argument look absolutely insane has every warrant to have people assume that you are the issue in question. If you are not being a weirdo online pressing it on other people by making them look stupid for being against it, go ham.
Who cares if it's not canon, the people who care have long since forgotten what fandom etiquette even looks like and don't remember what fandom looked like before the "Great Tumblr Purge". But they're not the topic of this conversation.
You may notice that I mentioned IRLs. Many of these ppl do not need your "reality check" either, you are not a licensed medical professional or a psychologist, hell even a psychiatrist. You still don't get the merit to do so even if you took 101 classes, you can harm them and it can backfire, BAD. Again, these ppl do need to be careful about what they consume and how they consume it because there are people prone to not being able to separate the line and it can end up hurting themselves in the end, rarely have I seen hurt it others but I don't need it to affect outside of the IRLs bubble for me to care about how IRL got there and what they might be doing to themselves in the face of distressing/conflicting information, it's a state of mind realistically nobody wants to be in. Many of you act like saying "if you can't separate fiction from reality then that's an issue" isn't also where "fiction affects reality" comes from. We are well aware. That's why we're saying it.
I should also preface this, you should never want to label yourself as pro-ship/pro-fiction when the biggest and most well-known definition applies to somebody who absolutely does not know where to draw the line. If you are "anti-harassment" about the tame ships, maybe it is time to come up with a new term and to stop associating yourself with such ppl. If you immediately jump to defense, maybe you should dismantle why that is, bc you're not fooling anyone. No, there is no proof that violence and video games will cause a school shooter to become a school shooter, they were most likely already subjected to the ideas and desensitized, the violence of the video game only ever promoted it and their fantasies, two things can and should be true at the same time. I'm tired of y'all making it seem like the ppl saying "Hey maybe we shouldn't over indulge in something that gives us a vicious cycle of dopamine based in seeking disturbing/immoral content" are insane. Again, maybe dismantle why you feel the need to get defensive about it.
#long rant#anti proshitter#fiction affects reality#you believe rabbits eat carrots bc of a mass lie created by a popular fiction#they eat the leaves the carrot part is actually really bad for them#there are so many more examples just like that which have given our society a wrong perception about something bc it became too involed#there's nuance to these things guys#tumblr fyp#fypシ#hot take
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Anyone else constantly think about the inherent loneliness of being a renegade time lord? No, just me, okay
#because like I can see why someone would leave gallifrey their society is stuck in its ways and un accepting of change and difference#but it also means leaving everyone and everything you know behind and not being able to come back#and it’s hard to find people outside of gallifrey to fill the loneliness because time lords love for so long#and have so much power over the universe that most species don’t#doctor who#time lords#dw#I maybe think about this too much
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working here is making me a little bit nuts abt antibullying again <3
#i mean ive always been a little nuts abt it. but its worse rn :)#i have been saying For Years that the reason antibullying campaigns have been so toothless is bc theyve ignored root causes#you cannot fight bullying while ignoring discrimination in our larger society#its not a fucking 80s movie people dont (frequently) get bullied Just for being nerds irl. the go to examples are so outdated#i could get into specifics but i think i dont need to! its ableism its racism its classism etc etc etc#we need to be actively teaching kids from a young age that at the bare minimum? acting on discriminatory beliefs is wrong#there needs to be actual consequences and understanding of why its wrong#we need to talk abt these issues WITH specifics. talk abt exactly whats wrong and why#call out specific common jokes explain slurs talk abt current events related to these issues#and fucking get rid of the 0 tolerance bullshit ive never heard of it doing anything but punishing the victim for fighting back#and i know some people will still be missed by this programming bc of their home life or influences. you really cant win them all#but you at least need to fucking try and attack this problem from the root instead of snipping vaguely at leaves#levi.txt#and i dont want to hear SHIT abt how your precious baby is too young to learn abt discrimination bc itll make them sad#as long as there are kids their age facing it? theyre not too young to try and understand#i just. aughhhh#like. ive been there dude i got bullied for a long ass time#didnt know why at the time but looking back it was absolutely bc i was nd#and that was so long ago and its still not better. it fuckin kills me man we should be getting over this#delete later#im very tired and this is a Big Rant but idfk man!! im mad#this shit ends lives youd think wed take it more seriously
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if i had a nickel for every time the best friend duo that was the cornerstone of an entire trilogy got split apart at the end of the 3rd movie, ruining the entire trilogy for me, i'd only have 2 nickels, but it's strange that it's happened twice
#BUT FOR REAL THO#the entire lord of the rings i kept thinking that sam and frodo were gonna get together#but i had to keep reminding myself that they're movies from the early 2000s based on books written in the 1930s (i think the 30s?)#so gay couples weren't an option#and then they just go their separate ways and i feel like the movie made it clear that they don't see each other again#and then httyd oH BOY#i understand why toothless had to leave i do#kinda#but the fact that the movie made it seem like “yeah it's sad but hiccup and astrid got married so it's not really THAT sad” is what got me#like ok got it lesson learned: all your friends will eventually leave you but it's ok cause you'll have a romantic partner for life#if you don't have a romantic partner for life well then i guess you're just fucked#it's this alloromantic Thing that society does where they treat romantic relationships as better than friendships and i HATE it#i cried for so long after i saw that movie#and the friend who i saw the movie with and who i was talking to about how sad i was#was like “i'm never gonna ditch you”#and then guess what you guys#she just stopped talking to me one day#hasn't spoken to me since#my post#ALSO I JUST FOUND OUT YOU CAN EDIT TAGS AFTER YOU HIT ENTER#SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO RETYPE THE WHOLE THING IF YOU NOTICE A SPELLING MISTAKE AFTER YOU HIT ENTER
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the thing about Hawai’i politics is that. You absolutely need to criticize the local government. But you also need to stand the economic and political politics of living in a place where the local government doesn’t have an iota of the power of the mega corporations like Hilton and Sheraton that run mega resorts here, nor the billionaires like mark Zuckerberg, Larry Ellison, or Jeff bezos that run second homes here or have quasi-feudal estates or exert far far more power than the relatively progressive county and state governments
like. You have to clock what it is that a man worth over 100 billion dollars purchased 98% of an island. What that’s like. What power does a city councilman who represents that island in a council have over a man worth over 100 billion who both owns the land people live on AND the hotels they work at
#A) HI runs and is far more like a separate nation than another U.S. state even if under mainland colonial control#B) us imperialism is and always has run through the interests of mega corporations that may not be *officla* government actors#So so so many issues boil into the market forces in a Neo imperial world in a place with a long history of colonialism#schools struggle to keep teachers and local businesses struggle to keep employees because the wages don’t match the insane cost of living#Local agriculture and food industries struggle because the cost of supplies and cost of living for farmers#Makes their produce more expensive than most people can afford so we have to buy from Walmart#Young people and families keep leaving and there’s increasingly severe labour shortages for basically ever job in terms of#Everything from minimum wage local jobs to local doctors teachers and lawyers#So every aspect of local society struggles to keep going#And all those deficits make hi a harder and harder place to live#There’s market forces that are just. Beyond us all#also the most powerful gov actor by far is the national military and you think city council has more control than the pacific fleet? PFFFF
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It's almost funny how I talked with ppl from school like 'fair warning, lots of people overestimate me because I look like I've got it all sorted and I get good grades but please please listen to me when I say I can't cope' 'ohhh no we're not going to overestimate you!'
Guess what happened?
#Iconic!!!! Iconic the pattern of my life#Literally 'knowing how to learn' + having self insight etc? Makes people think I'm healthy normal functioning#When both skills were developed to try to cope with my inability to function in daily life#Studying? I did research for a long time and got to know myself so I can study efficiently bc I don't have a lot of energy.#Self insight comes from navigating group homes and care all by myself because all my mentors would leave within months#Iconic#Being able to sit in a chair and contemplate things does not equal being able to participate in society 🙃#Unfortunately being on the spectrum + having undiagnosed untreated trauma means i have very little energy#And my ~ compensating by contemplating ~ also takes. Energy.#(Over)thinking to navigate the world is my life lol and I think its okay as long as i can find a place where i can like. Live.#Id like to graduate high school 🤡 start therapy 🤡 reassess after like a year of therapy#To see if i can like. Go to college or get a job i can cope with.
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